Teenage Dream
by Lucy Samb
Summary: You/ Darren Criss fanfic. The story is about your life with Darren in high school, college and professional life among friendship,love,fights,comings and goings and how you both go through serious stuff such as bullying,suicide,discrimination and life itself. It starts when you meet Darren, a guy of your school in St. Ignatius College Preparatory who never noticed you, a loser.
1. The meeting

_There are days when you wake up and you think why you have to live in this hell, and there are days when you wake up and you think that life is wonderful. That's what happens when you're full of hopes and happiness but then, unexpected events happen and change everything. Now you're in high school and people there label you: the loser. You never cared about it because you had a different concept of high school, but those people are stronger than you. You try to go against them defending your values, therefore bullying starts to happen. It comes a point when everything seems to fall apart and everything seems to be lost. You happen to be the game of the popular people who bully you, you happen to be an object of fun for them and it seems that no one is gonna help you. But there are still good people, people who are gonna give you the strength not to give up; even if those good people don't know it. Darren Criss, a young boy of your school, is one of those good people for you, even if he doesn't know it. Your life in this story starts in high school and from there it develops, with all the twists of life involved. Your life with Darren Criss._

A/N: Hi guys! I decided I'm going to write short chapters so I can upload faster, or at least that's my intention. This is story, well; this story is different from the others. This story is meant to be a long one because, as I said, the chapters are gonna be short very very short. I don't wanna tell you yet what it's about, but I'll tell you that in the first chapters I decided to write about a serious problem that is happening nowadays, especially in high school: The bullying. Well, you surely noticed that I like to write also about the problems that affect us nowadays, so this is a really rough topic and I wanted to write about it long time ago. Anyway, I'll let you read the story and you'll find it out in the different chapters. **IMPORTANT TO READ:** This story is different from the others because this time I wanted to try how it'd be if I don't write in only one perspective; so in this story there will be parts where we're gonna be on Darren's mind. So if you read the text in 3rd person it's because that's you; but if your read the text in 1st person, it's because you're on Darren's mind. I don't know, I found it interesting because you'll get different points of view in the same situations. Remember that the whole story is fictional and any similarity with reality is pure coincidence...or not! Okay guys, that's all! I'd like to know if you like this new way of writing or not, if you like this story or if you think this is pure bullshit, and I don't know, I'd like to know what you all think so far! Thank you a LOT for your continued support and kind words! Now, enjoy this new story of your life with Darren freaking Criss! ;)

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**TEENAGE DREAM – Part 1 - The meeting.**

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_AUGUST 2004…_

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The first day of school after your summer vacations. To return to high school was weird for you. On one hand, you wanted to go back to school because your summer vacations were really boring, you barely spent the days with your few friends because they all took a tentative course of World History since they loved to do those kinds of things. Usually, you'd take that course because you really wanted to acquire more knowledge for your future, but this summer you didn't do it because the last year in school was a real shit for you. And this was one of the reasons why you didn't want to go back to school. People in your school already got a label for you: you were that nerd girl who had geek friends; summing up, you were what they called a loser. You couldn't get how those people could call you a loser only because you wanted to acquire more knowledge, you wanted to be a smart girl who could get the enough intelligence to defend yourself in the future, you wanted to be an enlightened and cultured woman. That was why in your Sophomore year you were member of clubs like Spoken Word, Speech and Debate and Book Club in St. Ignatius College Preparatory. You were happy with that because you could learn a lot of things, but then the "cool" and popular people in your high school started bugging and harassing you because you were that nerd and smartass girl who everybody hated, a loser. And hell, you wouldn't let those stupid people, who thought that popularity was the most important thing in the world, treat you as if you were shit. You defended yourself as you could in a non-violent way but yes in an offensive verbal way; with your smartness you were used to insult them, telling them that they were the half-witted people who soon would understand that they could have popularity but they had a brain like a jackass, thing that wouldn't help them in college. Of course it didn't help you and your reputation. After the first time you said that, the level of harassing increased to the point you were afraid to go to school because you knew you'd end up slushied, beaten or they would throw you in the garbage. When this started happening, now you weren't so brave to defend yourself because you really didn't know what they could do, so you just gave up and you let them doing it, it was like a routine to be slushied or whatever. And of course no one defended you because your friends were harassed as well and people around wanted to be popular so you shouldn't bug them. It was a real shit. While you were the loser in the school, your bigger sister, who was now a Senior, was popular and beautiful. Your relationship with your bigger sister, Amanda, wasn't good, therefore she never did anything to help you or to defend you from those assholes; and your parents were too busy with their jobs that they didn't have time to worry about those stupid things of high school. It was only you against all the popular people. Big trouble, huh?

Now you were a Junior and you decided you were going to do something, so this year things would change. You spent all your summer thinking how you were going to do it. You didn't want to be a popular and stupid girl, but you wanted them to respect you. This year, you were going to do all the things you liked but you also were going to try new things. Yes, you were going to join new clubs and you knew which one it'd be: Student Visual Art Society, Technical Theatre and SILive. But not in vain you chose those clubs, there was also another reason, a reason you'll never admit and tell anyone.

Your first day of school was going to be hard, because you still were that loser girl, but you were expectant to know if that label was going to change and if your plan was going to work out.

_**"Hurry up, stupid."**_ Your sister yelled from downstairs.

Still in your bedroom, you rolled your eyes and cursed your sister in silence. She was the one who had a very own car since your parents gave it to her in her last birthday, so she had to take you to school with her. You finished dressing to go downstairs. Your way to dress up was one of the reasons why you also were harassed and discriminated. While your sister wore her cheerleader uniform, you used to wear a white button-down shirt and pair of black cuffed pleated pants that were a couple of inches too short with penny loafers. You weren't going to change your way of dressing up because you felt comfortable with it and because it was all you had in your wardrobe. You looked in the mirror and then you combed your hair in a ponytail before going downstairs.

_**"Come on, let's go. I don't wanna be late on my first day of school." **_You said grumpy, walking to the car and you noticed how your sister rolled her eyes.

_**"Duh, loser."**_ Your sister said contemptuously. _**"Remember, once we arrive to school, walk away from me as fast as possible."**_

_**"Will do. I don't want to see your face full of makeup any longer."**_ You answered harshly.

"_**Whatever, freak."**_ Your sister said also harshly.

The way to school was quiet since neither of you talked. When you arrived, you walked away from your sister who got entertained greeting all of her friends, yelling and bouncing exaggeratedly excited and in a hypocritical way. You heard how they were talking about stupid things and gossips and that repulsed you. If there could be any humble and kind-hearted person, it wasn't your sister and her friends. While you were walking to the entrance of the school with your books in hands, you noticed how a lot of people were looking at your direction making fun of you, but you decided to ignore them and walk with your head held high. You walked to your locker and there you saw that fascinating boy you were secretly in love since your Sophomore year. You didn't even know his name and you never ever talked to him, he didn't know who you were because you didn't make eye contact with him, not even once; but that boy was absurdly beautiful and he seemed to be funny and nice. All you knew about him was that he was a Senior and he was into the drama program and also into the instrumental and choral program. Your heart flipped when you saw that short and dark curly hair boy with those breathtaking hazel eyes and bright smile. You knew you'd never talk to him because he was kind of popular, not like the asshole ones who were in the football team; but he was popular after all and people like him never talked to you. And let's face it, who would notice a girl like you? But at least you were free to look at him since no one knew your feelings for him. He was the reason why you decided to join those new clubs, maybe that way at least he'd know about your existence. When you walked by his side your whole body started trembling and your heart started beating faster because of all these feelings you had for him; but he didn't even notice your presence, he kept talking cheerfully with his friends. You looked down feeling really stupid to feel this way whenever he was close and you arrived to your locker still annoyed with yourself. When you arrived there, you looked around guardedly because this was the part of the day when the popular people used to take advantage to beat you. But no one was near and there was no indication that someone was going to appear. That was weird, maybe people changed and this year was going to be indeed a good year. You left some of your books there and then you looked around guardedly again. Nothing. You smiled feeling fine, this was a good way to start the year. You walked to take your first class of the year: Spanish III, with Mr. Brian Rhodes as a teacher. You, of course, sat in the first chair and you were one of the firsts to arrive. When people started to arrive, no one sat next to you, but you didn't care because you were used at it and anyways you were there to learn and not to talk to someone. Mr. Rhodes arrived minutes later, it was an old man who seemed to be grumpy and who was very intimidating.

_**"Buenos días, alumnos."**_ Mr. Rhodes greeted hoarsely in Spanish and no one answered. Two girls behind you haven't even realized that the teacher was already there and they kept talking and laughing. _**"In this class, no one is gonna talk because we're here to learn. If you want to talk, then do it outside after going to the principal's office. So if you girls don't want to visit the principal's office, shut up."**_ Mr. Rhodes said harshly and authoritatively, so the two girls stopped talking._** "I'm gonna talk only in Spanish from now on because you are in Spanish III." **_

In that moment, a boy interrupted the class in a rowdy way because obviously he was late. When you saw who the boy was, your heart skipped a beat. It was the guy with dark curly hair and hazel eyes.

_**"I'm so sorry, sir!"**_ The guy said apologetically from the door, panting. It seemed that he'd been running.

_**"A usted le parece correcto llegar a ésta hora? La clase ya ha empezado, señor." **_Mr. Rhodes said looking harshly at the curly haired guy.

_**"Sorry, what?"**_ The curly haired boy asked frowning, completely confused. Evidently, he didn't understand anything of what the teacher said and you chuckled softly.

_**"Yo pregunté si le parece adecuado llegar a la clase a ésta hora una vez que ya ha comenzado." **_Mr. Rhodes said in Spanish, still harshly.

_**"I...I'm sorry sir, I don't understand."**_ The curly haired guy said again frowning and disconcerted.

_**"Usted quiere estudiar Spanish III y no es capaz de entender lo que estoy diciendo? **__**Usted debería volver a Spanish I."**_ Mr. Rhodes laughed sarcastically and the curly haired guy laughed nervously, still frowning.

_**"Yes, that! Spanish I is not the class I have to take, it's Spanish III. Is this Spanish I? Because if it is, I'm in the wrong class. Are you Mr. Rhodes? Because I know Spanish III is his class and I'm looking for it."**_ The boy rambled still frowning and obviously not getting what the teacher said. The teacher huffed in annoyance looking at him.

_**"Yes, this is Spanish III and I'm Mr. Rhodes. Now sit down because you're late. You'll get extra homework because of your delay, Mr...?"**_ Mr. Rhodes asked looking at the curly haired guy.

_**"Criss."**_ The guy answered.

For the very first time you heard his last name. Criss, it was a nice last name, just as beautiful as him, you thought looking at him dreamily. When you realized the way you were looking at him you felt really embarrassed and you blushed looking down. Hopefully nobody noticed it. You needed to contain yourself and more knowing that he was going to be in your class until the end of the year. But then he walked to sit and he sat next to you, since no one was sitting next to you. Damn it. He had to sit next to you. How were you supposed to pay attention to the class now that he was next to you? You felt really nervous and your body, as usual, started trembling. But he only sat there and he didn't even glance at you. The class started and you barely could pay attention to the class because you were really entertained looking at Criss and how he was drawing something in his notebook instead paying attention. He was really beautiful and intriguing. You were really distracted until Mr. Rhodes apparently was asking something to you, because the curly haired man looked up to you and he smiled at you, apparently amused. Hell, that was your first eye contact and you could perfectly see his bright and big hazel eyes. And hell, he smiled at you! Now you were really nervous and you looked away because it was very embarrassing the fact he caught you looking at him. You looked at Mr. Rhodes who was looking at you, apparently waiting for the answer. Damn, what the hell was he even asking? You looked at the blackboard and read the sentence in Spanish. Surely you had to translate that sentence.

_**"El hombre tenía un buen trabajo."**_ You read in Spanish the sentence that was written in the blackboard in front of the class. _**"In English it'd be... The man had an awesome job." **_You said feeling self-confident.

You actually were good at Spanish since you had a friend who was Latina when you were eight. You knew the answer was right, but it seemed that Mr. Rhodes didn't think the same.

_**"Wrong answer."**_ Mr. Rhode said superbly and you looked at him raising your eyebrows, astonished. You knew the answer was right. _**"The right answer is: The man had a great job."**_

_**"Oh come on!"**_ You exclaimed loudly in disbelief and all the class looked at you. Even Criss looked at you; you felt his eyes looking at you. _**"It's the same meaning with different words."**_ You said before you could actually realize what you were doing. For the first time in your life you were contradicting a teacher.

_**"That kind of answer will lead you to fail the exam."**_ Mr. Rhode said arrogantly. _**"You have to read the entire sentence and find the appropriate word considering the entire context. Your failure was because you translated the sentence word by word and not in its context."**_

_**"Excuse me, sir. But I read the entire sentence and I translated it in its whole context. Great, incredible, amazing, awesome; those are synonyms and all of those words are appropriate to the sentence you wrote in the blackboard."**_ You answered defiantly because you knew you were right. And you knew that the Criss guy was looking fixedly at you but you didn't want to look at him, you were already very nervous and upset.

_**"Nerd!"**_ Someone yelled behind you and everyone in the class laughed out loud. You tried to ignore the comment but you couldn't. You looked down feeling really upset for all that was happening and you tried to contain yourself to not stand up and punch the boy who yelled at you. But you failed. You were really angry, as never before.

_**"What did you say, you idiot?"**_ You said walking in a rage to the boy who yelled. The boy was apparently surprised for your sudden reaction. The entire class was also surprised because now nobody was laughing, everybody was quiet. No one ever saw you like this, so upset and brave. _**"What did you said, idiot?"**_ You yelled at him in a rage before punching his face.

_**"Enough!"**_ Mr. Rhode yelled behind you. _**"I won't allow anyone to behave this way in my class."**_ The teacher said upset. _**"You, girl, go to the principal's office. Now."**_

_**"What?"**_ You asked now looking at Mr. Rhodes in disbelief and upset. _**"This is so unfair! I didn't do anything."**_

_**"If punching the face of your classmate doesn't mean anything to you, fine. But for me it means you have to go to the principal's office. Go, now." **_Mr. Rhodes said authoritatively.

_**"I can't believe this. He deserved it and I'd do it again if I have to."**_ You answered really upset. _**"But whatever. You must be a male chauvinist, so you'd never understand."**_

_**"Two weeks of punishment for you now, lady. Principal's office, now." **_Mr. Rhodes said really angry and harshly.

_**"Whatever."**_ You huffed annoyed before leaving the class and snapping the door behind you.

What the hell was that? What the hell was going on with you? You never ever treated a teacher like that. You were really rude and impertinent, and you weren't like this. You never ever contradicted a teacher before and now you acted like a snooty girl. You never ever punched someone's face before, and now you said you'd do it again if you had to. You never ever were so angry and you never ever lost your control before like this. And for the record, you never ever had to go to the principal's office before. You weren't a troublesome, you weren't like this. You were the smart, educated and quiet girl; the smartass of the class, the one who was always recognized like the girl who had the highest scores and like the girl who was congratulated by every teacher. And what the hell happened in that class? And that Criss guy looked at you, at your stupid and angry behavior. 'Oh great, amazing way to impress him, idiot', you thought. This couldn't be happening, what you thought it was going to be a good first day happened to be a really bad one. And it was your entire fault. Great.

* * *

I was excited to start this new year. This was my last year at school since I was a Senior. Actually, I was a bit nervous; I mean, this was my freaking last year and maybe it was going to be the last year I'd see my friends there. And then there was the fact that I had to do my best to get any kind of scholarship for college. I knew what I wanted to study, but I didn't know where yet. Definitely, drama and music was my thing. Man, this year was going to be crazy! One thing was for sure: I needed to have a blast in my last year, and after all it was high school. And I knew exactly how to have a blast: still being part of the drama program, and also the instrumental and choral program. I loved drama classes and I also loved the instrumental program since I knew how to play violin since kid thanks to my beloved mom and now I learned how to play guitar, drums and piano and of course I wanted to learn to play more instruments. That was why I decided to join the club Rock and Roll; it was going to be totally awesome. I knew what I wanted, I wanted to be a singer and an actor, and who says singer and actor also says songwriter. Yes, that was what I, Darren Everett Criss, wanted to study in college. Some people would say I'm ambitious and sometimes unrealistic, but hey, it's what I wanted and I was willing to do whatever it could take to get it. Well, maybe not whatever it could take, of course I wouldn't kill anyone or get laid with someone I didn't want, but yeah. Yes, maybe I was ambitious, but in a good way. After all, it was my life.

Anyway, it was my last first day of school and I was in the hallway with my four best friends in high school: Jen Nedeau, Claire, Dean and Karen. Even though we spent almost all the summer vacation together, it was awesome to see them there. We all were very excited about this year and we couldn't stop talking about how this year would be. And then I saw her, the girl who drove me crazy, walking seductively with her friends on her cheerleader uniform. If there was a perfect girl, that was she.

_**"Darren, you should talk to her someday. Stop being so coward. After all, this is our last year."**_ Jen laughed shrugging. _**"And you've got a good talent for acting and a good damn charisma. Use it to get her attention."**_ Jen winked.

_**"Yeah, it's that easy."**_ I said sarcastically, still looking at that girl walking away until a weird and nerd girl walked next to me and I lost the cheerleader of my sight. _**"I heard she's dating Jim, the captain of the football team. I have no chances."**_

_**"Well, screw Jim! You're way much better. I heard she's in Donuts and Coffee club, maybe you'd want to join that club. No alcohol, hot chocolate, donuts...it's a good chance."**_ Jen encouraged me. Jen was my best friend, the one who knew everything about me.

_**"Could be."**_ I said shrugging. Actually, it'd be a chance. As Jen said, it was my last year and I couldn't finish school without kissing that girl.

_**"Darren, you don't have classes now? You're so late."**_ Dean pointed looking at me after talking to them for a long.

_**"Oh dammit!"**_ I exclaimed realizing I was ten minutes late. _**"See you in drama class, guys!"**_

Damn, I was so late and people told me that Mr. Rhodes, my Spanish teacher, was a pain in the ass, a grumpy old man who enjoyed embarrass people in front of everybody. I ran to the classroom as fast as I could, I really didn't want to get into troubles, not in my last year. When I entered the classroom, in a rowdy way, the class was in silence and Mr. Rhodes was talking. Then my teacher looked at me, goddammit, that look was really scary. I was in troubles, I knew it. He opened his mouth to talk and I didn't understand a damn shit of what he was saying. Holy shit, it was just the first day of class and this old man was already talking in Spanish. I needed time, geez! I barely remembered what I learned last year in Spanish II.

_**"I...I'm sorry sir, I don't understand."**_ I said frowning and disconcerted.

_**"Usted quiere estudiar Spanish III y no es capaz de entender lo que estoy diciendo? **__**Usted debería volver a Spanish I."**_ Mr. Rhodes laughed sarcastically.

What the heck has he said? Oh man, this old man was really a pain in the ass! I said I didn't understand a damn shit and he's still speaking in that language. What could I do? Laugh, he was laughing so maybe he made a joke about something. Oh great, Darren! You really know how to laugh like an idiot. But hey, he mentioned something about Spanish III and Spanish I, maybe he was asking me something. I don't know, I didn't have a fucking idea what he was talking about. Quickly, Darren, quickly, answer something!

_**"Yes, that! Spanish I is not the class I have to take, it's Spanish III. Is this Spanish I? Because if it is, I'm in the wrong class. Are you Mr. Rhodes? Because I know Spanish III is his class and I'm looking for it."**_ I said. Did I ramble? I think so; otherwise people wouldn't be laughing at me. It seemed that Mr. Rhodes was upset because he huffed in annoyance. Seriously man, he should win the award of the scariest man in the whole planet.

_**"Yes, this is Spanish III and I'm Mr. Rhodes. Now sit down because you're late. You'll get extra homework because of your delay, Mr...?"**_ Mr. Rhodes asked looking at me. Great! Extra homework was the last thing I needed. Well, let's see the positive side of this, the punishment wasn't so bad.

_**"Criss."**_ I answered. Amazing way to start my day, wee! I thought sarcastically.

I looked for an empty chair and I wanted to sit as fast as possible. There was an empty chair in the first row, and the weird girl I saw earlier was sitting near there. She was looking at me in a weird way. Whatever, there was an empty chair and I just wanted to sit down and not being scolded by that grumpy old man again. Stupid Spanish class, it was being so boring and I didn't know anyone there, so I couldn't talk to anyone. Why was I in that class? I needed to do something not to fall asleep, so I just grabbed my notebook and I started drawing shit on it. Yeah, my drawing of Mickey was terrible man, so fucking terrible. When I was about to try to improve that drawing, something caught my attention. I heard how Mr. Rhodes was asking something to the girl next to me but she never answered. She seemed to be the kind of girl who answered everything, a smartass, I'd say. So I looked up to see what was going on. Oh god, why was she looking at me that way? It was funny, apparently she had no idea that she was at class, and she seemed to be really distracted looking what I was doing. Hold on, was she blushing? Man, she blushed when I looked at her, that's hilarious. I caught her! I couldn't help smiling amused. The girl now stopped looking at me abruptly and she looked at the blackboard. That was funny, she seemed to be nervous, I never saw anyone that nervous. Surely she wouldn't be able to answer the teacher and then I wasn't going to be the only one scolded. But surprisingly she read that sentence in Spanish and she answered. How the hell has she done it? She was good at Spanish. Oh girl, you answered wrong; well at least that was what Mr. Rhodes said. Wait a minute...Is she contradicting the teacher? Oh man, this is turning into an interesting class, about time! Wow, this girl knows how to answer properly; of course, she must be a geek who always knows the answers.

_**"Nerd!"**_ Someone yelled from behind and the whole class laughed out loud. I didn't know if I should laugh, that was kind of offensive and she seemed to be really upset.

Well, now is the moment when the girl starts crying. What? Man, I never saw this in the story of high school. The geek girl hitting the popular guy. Man, that girl has got guts! That was a hell blow with a fist! Ha! Take that asshole! This is like a movie. What the hell? What's wrong with that stupid teacher? Yes, well answered girl! The asshole deserved to be punched. Oh man, she's in troubles. Calling the teacher male chauvinist? That's brave, and stupid.

_**"Whatever."**_ The girl huffed annoyed before leaving the class and banging the door behind her.

Whoa! I'd have never expected something like that from a weird girl like her. This was good for a movie; I could make up a script for a drama play with this. Oh man, someone shut up that grumpy old man! I'm gonna fall asleep. Come back, girl, with a tommy-gun and turn this boring class into an action movie!

_**"I'm fucking starving!"**_ I said to Jen when the Spanish class finished.

_**"You're always starving, Darren."**_ Jen laughed and she gave me a cookie.

_**"This is why I say I'm starving. Because your cookies are the best."**_ I said grabbing that fucking delicious cookie.

_**"Yes, sure. How was your Spanish class with the grumpy teacher?"**_ Jen asked while we were walking to the drama classroom.

_**"So fucking boring! Really, Jen! That old man would make the perfect role play as the party pooper. Of course I arrived at the class and the idiot started talking in Spanish, I didn't get a damn shit of what he was saying. Who does that in the first day of class? He gave me extra homework that I won't be able to do because I don't understand."**_ I complained. Poor Jen, she always had to deal with my complains.

_**"It doesn't seem interesting."**_ Jen laughed at my complains. She always used to do it, and it always made me feel better.

_**"No, wait! Actually I've witnessed the most unbelievable event of high school. Something that is gonna be in the history of this school."**_ I said exaggeratedly excited. I always used to exaggerate things, because it always made things more interesting.

_**"Okay, Darren. What is it about?"**_ Jen asked laughing, already used to my way of talking.

_**"The geek girl hitting the popular guy; in front of the teacher and the entire class. You should've seen it, Jen! It was amazing! That girl stood up so angry after the guy yelled at her nerd and she just punched his face! Like, pum! Take that asshole!"**_ I said acting all the movements that the weird girl did. _**"Who would say that a girl like her could do something like that? I mean, she's the typical smartass who cries when someone yells rude things, but she didn't cry. It was priceless; I've already made up a script in my mind with this situation."**_

_**"Now I want to meet that geek and brave girl."**_ Jen laughed and I laughed along with her until I saw something that was happening in the hallway that made me stop.

There it was the weird girl of my Spanish class on the floor and the same popular guy of my Spanish class was hitting her. People around were just looking entertained this situation. The popular guy wasn't alone, he was surrounded by his friends and among his friends was the cheerleader I liked. They were laughing and no one was doing something to stop that asshole. How could a guy hit a girl? It didn't matter if she was a geek girl, she was a girl. I didn't know what to do; I needed to stop it because it wasn't right. But I really liked that cheerleader and I'd never have the chance to be with her if her friend was the one who was hitting the weird girl. I just stood there, without doing anything at all. And the weird girl looked at me, as if she was pleading me for some help. But I did nothing and I felt really bad. Then the popular guy stopped hitting her and he looked at her with contempt.

_**"Don't you dare to mess with me again, you bitch. Remember you're nothing but crap for this school and I'm the one who rules the school. Loser."**_ The popular guy said harshly and contemptuously while his friends laughed at the girl.

The popular guy and his friends walked away still laughing and the people around who were watching the fight also walked away. But I stood there, looking at that poor girl on the floor with no attempt of moving from there, but anyway she wasn't crying. I looked around to see if anyone was looking at me and I tried to walk to where she was, but Jen took me by the arm.

_**"What are you doing, Darren? We have class."**_ Jen whispered.

_**"I'll be there soon, Jen. I just can't leave her alone like that."**_ I answered also whispering.

_**"What, Darren? Oh come on, she's gonna be fine and you don't even know her."**_ Jen said looking at the girl frowning.

_**"She's the girl of my Spanish class, the brave and geek one."**_ I whispered.

_**"So? It doesn't mean you know her. Darren, let's go. You're gonna get in trouble if you help her."**_ Jen said.

_**"I know I don't know her, but poor girl, Jen. I'll be there in a few minutes, I promise."**_ I whispered and Jen sighed.

_**"Fine. Be careful on your way to the class, then."**_ Jen said before she started walking to the drama classroom.

I looked right to where the girl was; she was now sitting on the floor, leaning against the lockers, covering her face with her hands. I started walking towards her but she didn't look up. What the hell was I doing? I didn't even know her, I shouldn't be doing this. But I felt guilty when she looked at me pleadingly and I did nothing to help her. This was going to screw my reputation if someone happened to see me helping that girl. I finally reached her and I kneeled, not knowing what to do. She didn't look up and I really didn't know what to say.

_**"Are you okay?"**_ I asked softly.

_**"Yes."**_ She answered with trembling voice, now uncovering her face and looking at me with a weird look. Holy crap, her nose was bleeding and her left eye was bruised. And she wasn't crying!

_**"You...you're bleeding."**_ I stuttered looking at her nose. Fantastic! I was stuttering. Why, though?

_**"I know."**_ She answered shortly, cleaning the blood of her nose with her sleeve.

_**"Hold on, I think I have cotton here. You know, I'm in drama class and we need it to remove the makeup."**_ I said searching in my backpack the cotton and then I handed it to her. She looked at me again in a weird way and it made me feel uncomfortable. But then she grabbed it in silence and put it in her nose looking away. _**"I...I'll help you to stand up."**_ I said kind of nervous. This was an uncomfortable situation.

I stood up and I looked around to see if someone was looking at me before taking her hand to help her to stand up. At first I thought I did something wrong because she looked at me in a weird way, as if she was upset or sad, I couldn't tell what kind of look that was; and then when I held her hand she kind of shivered, as if she was uncomfortable of being with a stranger like me. I don't know, it was weird. When she stood up, I quickly let out her hand and she looked down. I looked around nervously and then I looked at her again.

_**"I'm sorry, because of what happened."**_ I said looking at her who was still looking down in silence. Man, it seemed she was dumb. _**"That guy is an asshole. He shouldn't hit a girl, no matter if you're a geek. It's just not right."**_ I said upset remembering how that guy hit her. I was thinking about it that I didn't realize I called her geek in front of her and now she was looking at me as if she was hurt. _**"I'm so sorry! I didn't mean it, I just have this mind...I never think what I say...No, wait, I mean..."**_

_**"It's fine. I'm used to people calling me like that. Thanks, for the cotton and all." **_She interrupted me with sad voice and looking down before she left quietly, turning the corner of the hallway.

_**"I'm a dick! How could I call her like that in front of her? Poor girl."**_ I cursed myself.

I really felt bad when she looked at me in a hurtful way and I really felt bad when she told me she was used to people calling her like that, as if she was hopeless. Even though I didn't know her, I felt bad because no one deserved to be treated like that. I wouldn't like to be in her shoes. Poor girl.

* * *

When you left the principal's office after he told you that you should take an extracurricular drama class as a punishment, you thought that your first day of school couldn't get worse. But you were wrong. When you were walking moody to your locker, the popular guy you hit in your Spanish class walked towards you. He was looking at you in anger and he was with his male friends, all of them showing you their fist. Crap, you were fucked up, you knew this wasn't going to end in a good way and you had no way to run away, you knew that no one would help a freak like you. And you felt it; you felt how the guy punched your left eye. It was so painful. Then he hit you again and you saw your sister. Your sister was there and she was laughing, she wasn't doing anything to stop that guy, to help her little sister. How could she do nothing? Then the guy pushed you against the lockers, making you fall on the floor while all the people around stopped to watch the situation, but no one was willing to help you. You looked at the popular guy scared, you were scared as hell. And you felt his fit on your face again, this time he punched your nose. You couldn't do anything, you couldn't run away because all of his friends were there to help that guy if you tried to escape. Your nose was bleeding, you could feel it, it was very painful, but you didn't have to cry. You needed to prove him you weren't going to regret of having punched his face. Then you tried to look away not to see the next time the guy was going to punch your face. And when you looked away, you saw the curly haired boy. He was standing there, looking at you, looking how that guy was hitting you. You looked at him in a way you never looked at him before, you looked at him like asking any kind of help; you looked at him in a sad way, in an embarrassed way. You didn't want him to know you were that kind of girl that everyone wanted to punch. The boy just remained there looking at you idly.

_**"Don't you dare to mess with me again, you bitch. Remember you're nothing but crap for this school and I'm the one who rules the school. Loser."**_ The popular guy yelled at you harshly and contemptuously while his friends laughed at you. Even your sister laughed at you.

When the popular guy left, you sat on the floor and leaned against the lockers, covering your face with your hands, as if it would stop the pain. You shouldn't cry, you needed to be brave; you needed to make people respect you. Then you heard unsteady steps walking towards you, you felt how someone kneeled next to you. You didn't want to uncover your face; you didn't want anyone to see you like this.

_**"Are you okay?"**_ Someone asked softly. You recognized that voice. It was the curly haired boy.

You uncovered your face to look at him astonished; you couldn't believe he was actually talking to you. He, the guy you were in love with since your Sophomore year, was talking to an uncool girl. Why was he doing it? You didn't want him to look at you like this, like a disaster, like in one of your lowest points.

"_**Yes."**_ You answered with trembling voice because you were nervous of being near him. You noticed how he looked all over your face with a terrified face, or was it a disgusting face? You didn't know.

_**"You...you're bleeding." **_The curly haired boy stuttered. Of course you were bleeding, but what could you do? This couldn't be more embarrassing.

_**"I know."**_ You answered embarrassed cleaning the blood of your nose with your sleeve. If you were embarrassed before, now you were even more embarrassed. This was disgusting but you had no other way to clean your nose. Gosh, it was painful.

_**"Hold on, I think I have cotton here. You know, I'm in drama class and we need it to remove the makeup."**_ He said before searching in his backpack the cotton and then he handed it to you.

You looked at him in disbelief. You couldn't believe he was helping you. Why was he being nice to you if he didn't know you at all? This guy was unreal. Nobody else has done something like that for you before. And he, out of all the people, was doing it. He seemed to be uncomfortable, so you just took the cotton and put it in your nose to stop the bleeding and then you looked away, feeling really embarrassed because he surely noticed you were looking at him deeply into his eyes, amazed because of his kindness.

_**"I...I'll help you to stand up."**_ He said kind of nervous. What? This wasn't real. This wasn't how you imagined how it'd be like to talk to him for the very first time.

But then it happened. You knew this guy couldn't be that perfect. When he stood up to help you to stand up, he looked around to check if someone was looking at him. Obviously he was embarrassed of helping and talking to a girl like you. Duh, who would want to talk to you? As the popular guy said, you were nothing but crap for the school. Anyway, you glanced at him kind of sad because, deep down, you had hopes he wasn't like the other guys. But he was; yes, he wasn't an asshole, but he was ashamed of being near you like the others. But anyway he held your hand and you shivered at his touch. His hands were soft but strong and you could feel the warmth of his body. You didn't want to let out his hand, it just felt so good. But then he let out your hand very quickly. You looked down sadly but trying to hide it, it was more than obvious he was doing this because he was a nice person but he didn't want be your kind of friend, he didn't want to be near you because, after all, you were a freak.

_**"I'm sorry, because of what happened."**_ He said softly but you didn't look up, you just kept looking down in silence. This wasn't what you expected, you didn't want his compassion, and you didn't want him to feel pity for you. _**"That guy is an asshole. He shouldn't hit a girl, no matter if you're a geek. It's just not right."**_

When you heard the way he called you, you looked up to him. Yes, you knew he was embarrassed of being with you, but you never thought he could call you a geek. It hurt you so much to hear the guy you really liked calling you like that; more than calling you like that, what killed you was the thought of him thinking and seeing you that way. It was even worse than hearing that popular guy calling you nerd or crap. Now you really wanted to walk away from him.

_**"I'm so sorry! I didn't mean it, I just have this mind...I never think what I say...No, wait, I mean..."**_The curly haired boy started to say nervous.

_**"It's fine. I'm used to people calling me like that. Thanks, for the cotton and all." **_You interrupted him with sad voice and looking down. It wasn't really his fault. You were just hurt because you never expected from him something like that. Come on, nobody would like if the guy you like calls you in that way. It just hurt.

You quickly walked away from him, you needed to go away, and you needed to turn the corner of the hallway so you'd be able to cry all the tears you were holding back. When you turned the corner of the hallway, you walked directly to the women bathroom and there you locked on a box to cry. You couldn't help it. It was stupid from you to think you could change this situation in your school; it was stupid to think that maybe someday you could be friends with this curly haired boy. It was stupid from you to think that someone would want to help you, to be your friend. It was stupid from you to think that someday someone would love you. For all of that you cried in silence. You were only an excluded girl. Deal with it.

When you cried your eyes out, you left the box of the bathroom to look into the mirror and wash your face. Your eyes were very swollen because of the crying, your left eye was severely bruised and your nose seemed to be broken. You looked terrible; you looked more awful than ever. Of course you missed all your classes of the day, you weren't like that but this time you couldn't help it, you weren't feeling good at all. But you had to go to that drama extracurricular class. It was your punishment and things were going to get worse if you didn't do it. This was the worst way you could start your first day, nothing was going well.

Feeling in a shitty way, you walked to the drama classroom. You didn't even like to act, you weren't good at it and you weren't good at anything that involved physical exercise. Hopefully they would let you come back home when the teacher, whoever it was, gets to see you like that. When you arrived, few people were there and you didn't know anyone there. All of those people looked at you and they started to murmur, apparently gossip things. You sat on a corner and you just looked away. You shouldn't be there. Then the teacher arrived. It was an eccentric man who seemed to be nice, he surely would let you come back home as soon as he gets to see your face. The teacher greeted the class and then he looked at your direction.

_**"That's a good makeup!"**_ The teacher exclaimed looking at you amazed. What? You couldn't believe this. Has he really thought it was a makeup? _**"Come here, girl. You're gonna start."**_

_**"What? No."**_ You refused in disbelief.

But it was too late; the teacher already took you by your arm and led you to the stage that was there. The teacher walked to the bench and sat there with the entire class. You were just standing there, feeling all of their looks directed to you, waiting for you to do something. What the hell were you supposed to do?

_**"I'm not supposed to be here. I don't even know what I'm doing here." **_You said almost in a whisper, very shyly. You've never been so exposed.

You were waiting for some kind of answer of your teacher, but he only kept looking at you very intently and expectant, just as the rest of the class. Why weren't they saying anything?

_**"The only thing I know is that this was a shitty day and I want to leave this place." **_You said again, now a bit louder.

No one answered. They just remained looking at you expectant and very intently. Oh hell, were they thinking you were acting? Yes, they were thinking that. You didn't know what to do. Maybe you could leave. But then you thought it could be a good way to let out all your feelings; after all, they'd think you were acting all this time. It could be a good thing. You heard how the door was opening, but you didn't look at it, you just were decided to let out all your feelings and you were focused on yourself now. You just forgot that people were there listening to you and watching you, and you just started talking, pretending to be acting.

_**"Some days I wake up with the hope I can change this hell I'm living. Some days I think everything is going to be good. But there's a thing I never consider, and it's the meanness of the people around me."**_ You said looking at a fixed point, with a blankly stare. _**"I always wonder why people gotta be so mean. I always wonder why we cannot be nice to all the people who are around us; why we cannot stop discriminating someone by the way that person looks like or thinks. I remember when I was a little kid."**_ You said and then you paused, still staring at that fixed point. _**"Everything was easier and not long ago I found out why everything was easier. Because when we're kids, appearance does not matter. Kids don't care if someone is pretty or ugly, if someone is popular or unpopular, if someone is rich or poor; kids don't care if someone is black, or white, or Asian or Latino, or even a dinosaur. Kids only want to a good time with someone. They're happy to have a new friend, regardless the way that friend looks like. They're happy because they don't know what discrimination is, because they don't make people feel bad, because they're pure in heart."**_ You sighed and then you looked down for a while.

Everything was silent and everyone, for the very first time in your life, was listening to you. Then you looked up again, it was sad look. You didn't look at someone in particular; you just stared at that fixed point.

_**"Unfortunately when we grow up, those values disappear. When we grow up, is better to get a nose job than a friend; we think that happiness is to be popular and to have a lot of fake friends instead being ourselves and have only few but real friends. Unfortunately when we grow up we turn into mean people because all we care is to get what we and only we want, and we do whatever it takes to get it, and we hurt people while trying to get it."**_ You said now bitterly. _**"This is what happened to me. I tried to be myself. It came a point I had to yell: Stop it! I'm a human being and I have feelings. You're hurting me and I won't let it happen anymore. Stop it! Please stop it because I can't take this any longer. Please stop it because I'm weak and all I want is to be happy, but I can't if you keep ignoring me and if you keep discriminating me for who I am or by the way I look like. Please, stop it. I'm tired to keep trying. Please, look at me, please notice me, please listen to me, and please let me be. Please, love me."**_ You said loudly with cracked voice, still staring at that fixed point. You never planned to shed tears, but it happened. _**"But they didn't do it; they didn't notice me, they didn't look at me, they didn't listen to me. They only beat me for being myself and they just laughed at it. That is what I got. This is the hell I'm living every single day of my life, this is the hell I want to leave to find that place where I can be happy again, a place where people would accept me for who I am and not for what I've got or not. I only want to find a place where no one is gonna beat me, where no one is gonna hurt me. And I don't even know if that place exists, but I want to think so because it's the only hope that allows me to keep going. Meanwhile, I'll keep living in this hell until someday someone will give me a hand and will save me. I know it's gonna happen someday, but I just don't know when. And I'm tired, too tired. Just...let me be."**_ You said with choked voice, breaking down and sitting on the floor slowly, shedding that last tear of deep anguish.

Everything was silent until after few seconds people there started clapping. You didn't care about it since this wasn't acting for you, this was real, and those feelings were real. And it worked, you felt lightly. You could let out all you were feeling and people who were there listened to you. They listened. You wiped your tears away and then you looked up to find that people there were also crying. You made them cry, your feelings and thoughts made them cry and it was absurdly odd. And there was also this curly haired man; he was looking intently at you, he was the only one who wasn't crying, he was just looking at you sadly but also in a way you couldn't define.

_**"Excellent! Excellent!"**_ The teacher clapped excited. He was also crying and that was the weirdest thing you've ever seen. Then you thought that maybe acting wasn't so bad. _**"This is the best way a class can start! You're an excellent performer but I've never seen you in drama class. Have you taken courses out campus?" **_

_**"No, this was the first time I acted." **_You answered shyly and the entire class looked at you astonished and raising eyebrows.

_**"You're kidding, girl!"**_ The teacher exclaimed, smiling, still with tears on his eyes.

_**"No, I'm not."**_ You said now looking down.

_**"Unbelievable! A talent you have from birth, then! I'm honored to have you in my class."**_ The teacher bowed. Your teacher bowed in front of you! What the hell was that? You, of course, looked at him befuddled.

_**"Umm...umm..."**_ You babbled because you were speechless.

_**"Alright class, for those who don't know me yet I'm Mr. Curry, but you can call me Ted. With time, maybe I'll let you call me Teddy but not now. I'm your teacher and a performance like the one we have just watched is what I want to achieve in our drama play at the end of the year in front of all the students."**_ Mr. Curry started saying excited and you just looked at him with eyes wide open before sitting on the bench, away from the other people there. _**"You two."**_ Mr. Curry pointed a pretty and blond girl and a tall and scruffy guy. _**"Get on stage and perform something. Imagine you're in the Middle Ages and..."**_

Mr. Curry kept talking but now you weren't paying attention anymore. What you just experienced was the weirdest thing that happened to you. You've never been listened and you've never been congratulated this way. Yes, you've been congratulated by your high scores and your smartness, but never for something you did that involved your feelings and corporal expression. And no one there laughed at you in a malicious way. Still, you thought you shouldn't be there because actually you haven't acted, you were just being yourself, you were just showing your real feelings and thoughts, one of the most private things of you. But on the other hand, you thought that these drama classes could help you to feel better. At least people there haven't made fun of you, and it meant a lot to you.

_**"You should be proud of yourself. Teddy never says something as nice as what he said to you."**_ Someone whispered next to you and you jumped because you were deep in thought.

You looked up to see the curly haired boy looking at you with a smile on his face. When did he get there? He was in the other side of the bench and now he was sitting next to you. You still couldn't feel comfortable next to him; he was the only person who could make you feel this way, as if you couldn't control your body shaking. He was very close and you realized that his hazel eyes were the most beautiful eyes in the entire universe, his hazel eyes and his long eyelashes. His curly hair was also wonderful, it seemed very smooth and you had to contain yourself from running your fingers through it. And his smile was just breathtaking and catchy. You really needed to stop looking at him that way or you were going to scare him more than he already was. You had to keep in mind that he was ashamed of being seen in public with someone like you.

_**"That was a really awesome performance and there's no doubt you turned into Teddy's favorite. For the record, he never cries. Only you could get it. It's remarkable."**_ He said still smiling and amazed. _**"You're gonna kick my ass this year. I used to be his favorite one."**_

_**"Oh, thank you?"**_ You said unsure and puzzled. You couldn't believe he was talking nicely to you and less that he was complimenting you. _**"And sorry for that. You're gonna be his favorite anyway. I only have to take this class for two weeks. You know, my punishment, you were at Spanish III class."**_

_**"Yeah, I was."**_ He said smiling and thinking about something. _**"That was an amazing class. That asshole deserved it." **_

_**"Yeah."**_ You answered shortly, now looking down. You really needed to keep your sight away from his.

_**"I'm really sorry for what I said earlier. I honestly didn't mean it."**_ He whispered...distressed?

_**"It's okay. I told you I'm used at it."**_ You also whispered, still looking down. You didn't want to look at those bright hazel eyes.

_**"It shouldn't be like that. Nobody deserves to be treated that way."**_ The boy said sincerely and then you couldn't help looking into his hazel and bright eyes. Damn, he was flawless. _**"Let me introduce myself properly. I'm Darren Everett Criss, but you can call me Darren. It's nice to meet you."**_

Darren Everett Criss was the name of this stunning guy. One of the mysterious things of this guy has been revealed and now, more than ever, you were intrigued to know more about this guy you've been in love with since your Sophomore year; about this guy who never noticed you and who was now talking to you. Was this real?


	2. The threat

**TEENAGE DREAM – Part 2- The threat.**

* * *

_**"I think you've got a new secret admirer, not so secret." **_

_**"What are you talking about Jen?" **_

I was in school, having lunch outside with Jen since it was an amazing sunny day. We were sitting on the grass while she was doing her Math homework and I was trying to do that shit extra homework of my Spanish class. I wasn't getting anything at all, I was bad-tempered and on top I had no idea what Jen was talking about. I only wanted to finish that homework, otherwise I was going to be forced to miss my first day at the club Donuts and Coffee, and therefore I was going to miss the chance to see that sexy cheerleader.

_**"The geek girl, Darren."**_ Jen answered, still doing mathematical calculations.

_**"Don't call her geek, it's not nice."**_ I said trying to complete for the third time the same incomplete sentence in Spanish.

_**"Are you kidding me, Darren?"**_ Jen exclaimed in disbelief, now looking up to me and I just shrugged. _**"You always called her geek. Why would you change your mind now? It's not as if you're lying when you call her geek."**_

_**"Could be. Maybe she is, maybe not. I don't know, Jen."**_ I shrugged indifferently, trying to focus on my Spanish homework but Jen wasn't helping. _**"I was just saying it isn't nice to call her like that. You wouldn't like to be called like that, so if you wouldn't like it don't do it."**_

_**"What is wrong with you, Darren? Yesterday you were calling her geek and now you say we shouldn't call her like that. Who understands you?"**_ Jen asked, looking at me incredulous. Her face just made me laugh, she always used to tell me I had that ability to change my mind every second, and she was right.

_**"You do, that's why you're my best friend."**_ I answered, tickling her playfully until she punched my arm playfully while laughing. _**"My point is...we both saw her performance yesterday, Jen."**_

_**"Yes, it was a damn good one. I didn't know she was good at acting, I never saw her in any drama class."**_ Jen said thoughtful and I returned to my Spanish homework.

_**"That's because she never took any drama class. She was there only because of her punishment, you know, for what she did in my Spanish class."**_ I said shrugging and again bad-tempered because of that stupid exercise of Spanish.

_**"How do you know it?"**_ Jen asked curious.

_**"I talked to her, she told me."**_ I answered and I threw away my notebook, frustrated because there was no way to do that Spanish homework. _**"I give up with this shit. There's no way to do this stupid homework."**_ I said leaning against the tree behind me and I looked at Jen, who finished doing her math homework long time ago and was now looking at me frowning. _**"What?"**_

_**"Why do you talk to her?"**_ Jen asked curious and still frowning.

_**"I don't know, Jen. Why do I talk to you? I just talk to everybody." **_I answered shrugging. I couldn't get why Jen was asking me about that girl, and besides I had no idea why we were talking about her in the first place.

_**"But Darren, she's not like everybody. She's weird and if you keep talking to her you're gonna get in trouble." **_Jen said serious. Why was she so upset?

_**"And what if she isn't like everybody? I just don't see what the problem of talking to her is. It's not like she's my friend or something. I just met her yesterday and I talked to her because, I don't know, to be nice."**_ I said shrugging. I was starting to get annoyed because I didn't want to talk about that girl, I was just anxious to see the cheerleader later. _**"And I don't even know why we're talking about her."**_

_**"Because I told you that you've got a new secret admirer. And obviously I was talking about that girl."**_ Jen said looking away.

_**"That's ridiculous, Jen."**_ I said in disbelief. I was thinking that Jen was making up things in her mind only because I talked to that girl yesterday.

_**"It's not. Listen, we never saw that girl before and now it seems she's always wherever you are. And have you noticed the way she looks at you? It seems she's eye-fucking you every time she looks at you, Darren."**_ Jen said with eyes wide open and aghast. I couldn't help laughing out loud. She was overreacting and it was funny.

_**"Then I'll have to make sure to wear hot underwear."**_ I joked still laughing but Jen didn't laugh.

_**"I'm serious, Darren. Beware of her. I'm pretty sure that her intentions with you are far from being nice and friendly."**_ Jen said serious and worried, still looking away exactly at the same point. _**"Look, she's there now. Why would she be there? She knew we were here, so she just came here. Because you're here and she wants to eye-fuck you." **_Jen said looking at the only girl who was outside alone, leaning against a tree not so far from where Jen and I were. She seemed to be a lonely girl and I stared at her in silence for a while.

_**"Well, I guess we'll have to find it out."**_ I said standing up, smiling amused.

_**"What? What are you doing Darren? Oh no, you aren't planning to talk to her now and here, are you?" **_Jen asked in disbelief and altered. I just laughed because of her reaction.

_**"It could be fun. And we'll find out if she wants to eye-fuck me or not. Fortunately I'm wearing hot underwear."**_ I joked laughing out loud and I started walking towards that weird and lonely girl.

_**"You're crazy, Darren."**_ Jen sighed in disbelief but anyway she followed me.

* * *

That day you woke up feeling better than the day before. That drama class helped you a lot to feel better and you still couldn't believe that some people listened to what you were holding back for so long. And you still couldn't believe you got to talk to Darren Everett Criss. Yes, now you knew his name and it was beautiful. You always imagined how it would be to talk to him, to meet him; you always dreamed of that moment. Of course, you didn't meet him the way you dreamed of, but you met him after all, and that was what mattered. You got to see every feature of his face and he was perfect. Yet, you didn't know what to think about him. On one hand, he seemed to be ashamed to be around you, you noticed it when he helped you and he looked around to check if someone was looking at him; he seemed to be uncomfortable with you. But on the other hand, he helped you and no one helped you before; and in the drama class he sat next to you to talk to you, and he was very nice. Maybe he was only ashamed to be seen in public with you, but he wasn't ashamed to be seen with you in front of his friends. You didn't know. It was kind of sad to think about it, but at the same time you were really happy because this was what you always wanted and you couldn't complain. You actually never thought you would get to talk to him.

Even though you were excited to see Darren Everett Criss again, you were also scared to go to school that day. You didn't know what those popular guys could do to you, you just didn't trust anyone. You couldn't get why your sister was with them and she was laughing at you instead helping you. Yes, you never had a good relationship with her, but she was your sister anyway, and if she were in your shoes, you'd help her. When you returned home the day before, she didn't even apologize and she didn't talk to you, neither did you. That day, you decided to go to school walking and not with your sister in her car. On your way to school nothing interesting happened, but it was good to go walking, it helped you to clear your mind and think about anything but your fear of going to school.

When you arrived at school, a lot of people whispered gossip about you while you were passing by them. Yes, you should have expected something like that. Of course they were talking about how that popular football player called Brian Clerk hit you the day before. Of course they were talking about your bruised eye and your broken nose. You just tried to ignore their comments and you just walked to your locker, hoping not to see Brian and his friends. If there was something you hated about school was the bullying, the gossips, the discrimination and hypocrisy. But what you hated most was that the principal never did anything to stop it; always the nerd people like you were punished while the popular people were always safe. Everything was so unfair.

During the day, nothing at all happened. No one tried to beat you; no one tried to bully you. And it was weird, but you knew that sooner or later it'd happen. So you just couldn't walk relaxed, you were all the time checking if someone was trying to pull you against the lockers or something. You hated walking through school with this fear, but you couldn't do anything at all. When it was time for lunch, you went to your locker to leave your books and you noticed how two people stood behind you. Shit, you didn't want to see who they were; you were scared because you knew they were Brian and one of his friends. You really didn't want to be bullied again. But you had to face them, this bullying needed to stop. You shouldn't be that harmless and frightened girl. When you turned around, you were very nervous and scared, but you knew you were making the right decision. But surprisingly, they weren't Brian and his friend. They were Peter and Alexandra, your friends since your Freshman year. You haven't seen them the day before and you wondered why, but now they were there and you were happy to see them again after the long summer.

_**"Hi guys! You scared me, I thought it was...it doesn't matter. I missed you guys."**_ You greeted them with a wide grin. But they didn't smile back and that was weird. _**"Is everything alright?"**_

_**"No, nothing is alright." **_Peter said nervously and moody. He was always nervous, but this time it was worse than ever, therefore you frowned in confusion.

_**"Why? What happened?"**_ You asked curious still not getting why they were looking at you that way. Maybe they were upset because you didn't spend the summer with them.

_**"We found out you're behaving in an inappropriate way and it goes against our values."**_ Alexandra said talking as a politician.

_**"What do you mean?"**_ You asked gingerly.

_**"We cannot be around someone who encourages violence the way you did yesterday with Brian Clerk. You punched him and you had to go to the principal's office. We cannot be friends with someone who can ruin our excellent reputation and behavior. You're like a black sheep."**_ Alexandra said frivolously and you just looked at them both in disbelief.

_**"What the fuck?"**_ You asked incredulous.

_**"Watch your words. Peter, we cannot be around her, she's a bad influence."**_ Alexandra said looking at Peter. Oh no, you couldn't believe it. _**"We don't want to see you anymore."**_

_**"Well, I'm sorry for trying to make people respect me! I'm sorry for trying to defend myself from bullying! And you know what? I don't regret having punched that asshole, he had it coming. No one is gonna mess with me."**_ You yelled angrily at your friends and they just looked at you bitterly. _**"And I thought you were real friends. But you only care about your stupid reputation. Guess what? You're just crap like me in the school, but the difference is that at least I admit it and I deal with it, and instead you two live in a bubble. If you don't make people respect you, you're gonna end in a bad way."**_ You yelled in a rage and people who were around turned to see your dispute. You slapped your locker and you started walking away from them, but then you turned around to yell them something else. _**"And on top of it, you just lost a real friend. Do you really think those popular people would be nice to you two only because you don't wanna be my friends? Do you really think it can stop the bullying? You're so stupid, I can't believe that with your intelligence you can't notice that those popular people don't care about anything and anyone but just themselves. You're gonna regret and then I won't be there."**_

All people around just looked at you yelling like a bitch and they started to whisper things and to point you, but you didn't care. Your ex friends did nothing; they just stood there, ignoring your words as though they were snooty people, and you really didn't care. You didn't know what was happening to you this year, but you weren't that helpless and stupid girl anymore. You were rebelling and you were trying to show that you were strong and that you wouldn't let anyone mess with you. Not anymore. Yes, this grumpy and rude girl wasn't you, but you needed to be like that until you get people respect you. You were angry, frustrated, and sad. You couldn't believe that your friends could have done something like that; you thought they were real friends but they ended up being hypocrites. Just like the others. When you were walking to nowhere in particular, you realized that now you were completely alone. You had no friends, you were still the weird, outcast and excluded girl, your sister was a real bitch to you, your scores weren't as excellent as before, you went for the first time to the principal's office and you didn't know what to do with all of that. You really needed to calm down and you couldn't do it inside the school where everybody was pointing you and gossiping. So you just went outside and you walked towards a tree to sit on the grass and lean against it, just to think about what recently happened, what happened the day before and what would happen later.

_**"Hi, freckles."**_ A man's voice said next to you and it made you startle in a ridiculous way that you even threw the lunch you had on your lap.

You heard laughs and then you looked up to find that Darren was standing in front of you with a girl you saw yesterday in the drama class. Why could he never find you in a normal way? Every time he was around you, you always had to do a stupid thing and it embarrassed you. Now your food was on the grass and you even messed up your shirt with ketchup. But besides that embarrassing moment, he called you freckles. Freckles, really? And why was he there anyway? You went there to be alone and he was now there with his friend. Not that you didn't want to talk to him because that was what you wanted most, but because the last thing you needed now was to see how someone was feeling uncomfortable and ashamed just for being near you.

_**"Hi...freckles?"**_ You greeted him frowning and surprised by the way he called you.

_**"Yeah, it's just you have freckles and in sunlight those freckles are more noticeable and I always make up nicknames for people...Not that I'm saying that having freckles is awful, I have freckles too, yours are cute...Uhm, doesn't matter."**_ Darren rambled and you grinned amused. You started to think that rambling was part of his personality and it only made him cuter.

_**"I don't mind that nickname, it was just weird. In any case, it's better than geek."**_ You said smiling and looking down. Damn, you really didn't want to say it to make him feel guilty.

_**"Yes, I'm sorry if I ever made you feel bad for calling you like that. I was a jerk."**_ Darren said now feeling guilty while the girl behind him looked at him frowning and astonished.

_**"No, I told you, it's okay. Not that you were the first one calling me like that, I've been called in worse ways."**_ You said smiling kindly.

Darren frowned and then he sat next to you on the grass. The girl who was with him looked at him in disbelief and then she looked around. It was the same thing that Darren did yesterday, she was checking if someone was looking at them. Anyway, the girl sat next to Darren.

_**"How do you do it?"**_ Darren asked curious, looking deeply into your eyes. Hell, his gaze was intimidating but because of its beauty and it was even brighter in sunlight.

_**"Excuse me?"**_ You asked frowning because you couldn't get what he asked because you were really distracted looking into his eyes.

_**"I mean, people are all the time calling you in rude ways, they bully you, they say shit about you, as if everyone is against you; but you still smile and you're still nice to people, even though they hurt you in different ways. How do you do it?"**_ Darren asked intrigued still looking deeply into your eyes.

_**"I'm used at it. It's been always like that and I just ignore them. I can't do it any other way."**_ You answered lazily, you really didn't want to tell him all you thought and all the things you did to make it, at least not yet.

_**"No, but really. How can you be nice to them, to us? How can you be so brave to face them even though you know you're going against the entire school? Doesn't it hurt you the way they treat you, the way we treat you? I don't know, if I were in your shoes, I wouldn't be so strong, I don't know what I'd do."**_ Darren said thoughtful and his eyes were even brighter. Maybe you could be honest; after all he was asking you something that anyone else asked you before because no one really cared.

_**"Well yes, it hurts. It hurts too much."**_ You answered looking down but not wanting to cry, just feeling sad. Darren looked at you intently and so did the girl who was with him. Suddenly the girl wasn't worried about being seen with you, she was just looking at you. _**"It hurts when you're being discriminated against by someone because of the way you look like or because of the way you think in terms of your values. It hurts when people put you on a rude label like loser or nerd or fat ass, only because you're not like them because you don't have the same interests as them. In this school if you aren't rich, if you don't have a sculpted body, if you don't get a nose job, if you don't wear makeup or you don't have designer clothing; then you happen to be the uncool person, the outcast, the excluded one. Therefore, the entire school calls you in that way, even if they don't know you. It's a huge hypocrisy."**_ You said bitterly still looking down. Darren and the girl were still looking at you intently in silence. _**"But then you start to realize that everybody is weak in their own way. I'm weak because I could never defend myself and who I am, because I let them hurt me to this point. But they're also weak. The people who aren't popular but aren't losers either, they're weak because they're afraid all the time, because they don't want to do something that could lead them to be a loser for the popular people; so they are just unhappy because they can't be themselves."**_ You said shrugging and Darren and the girl who was next to him exchanged glances. Maybe they felt part of those people. _**"And the popular people are also weak, it's just they don't know it. They think they rule the world, but truth is they could rule the school, but school isn't everything we have. When they finish their time in school, they'll realize they're just like me, or you or the girl who wears heels. But the saddest thing is they're gonna realize they're alone because they only cared about themselves and their own goals; therefore they don't have true friends. You know, everybody is weak, and if everyone is weak, that means I'm not so different from the others or they aren't so different from me. And that's the thing that allows me to keep going. I have faith in good people; I know there are good people. It's just matter of time to find them." **_You grinned slightly and Darren and his friend smiled back. _**"When you realize it, then not even bullying can stop you. Yes, it hurts and some days it's really hard to keep going. But we all have trouble, we all trip and stumble. And I believe life is beautiful and I believe there is something good waiting for me, it's just I still haven't found it."**_ You said smiling faintly and shrugging.

Darren and his friend were looking at you with bright eyes and smiling softly, still in silence. You didn't know why you told them all of that, but you didn't feel uncomfortable because they haven't looked at you in a weird way in any moment.

_**"I wish all of us could see things the way you do."**_ Darren said after looking at you bewitched.

_**"You're admirable."**_ The girl next to Darren said and both you and Darren looked at her amazed. You weren't expecting something like that from her. _**"I'm Jen, by the way."**_

_**"Well, thank you, Jen."**_ You smiled kindly at her, still amazed by what she said. _**"But I'm not admirable. I'm just a dumb human being in a rough situation feeling that I've lost, but I'm not helpless anymore. That's it."**_ You said shrugging.

Then it happened something you definitely weren't expecting. Jen leaned over to pull you into a hug. You got strained by the hug because you couldn't remember the last time someone hugged you and because you never expected that a stranger would hug you. It seemed that Darren was also astonished because he was looking at his friend with eyes wide open and raising eyebrows. However, you hugged her back. That hug just felt good and you felt good; not only because they seemed to care about you and because they listened to you, but also because this was the very first time in a long that someone showed you a little thing of what people called affection.

_**"I...I have to go to class."**_ You said after few seconds, so then Jen stopped hugging you.

_**"Yes, yes."**_ Jen nodded looking away but then she looked at you again. _**"See you at drama class, after school."**_

_**"Right. See you guys."**_ You said still astonished and then you stood up to leave.

What the hell was that? Why did that happen? You didn't know, but it was good, more than good.

* * *

I saw the mysterious girl with freckles walking away and, when she disappeared, I turned to look at Jen.

_**"Could you explain me what the fuck was that?"**_ I asked looking at her with eyes wide open.

Minutes before, Jen was telling me that the girl was very weird and that we shouldn't talk to her because we were going to get in trouble. Minutes before, Jen told me it was a really bad idea to go to where she was. Minutes before, Jen told me that I should beware of that girl. Minutes before, Jen called her geek. But now she hugged her? Jen hugged that girl? Why anyway? Jen wasn't one of those girls who were hugging everybody, it took a long time for her to hug me and now she hugged a complete stranger. Yes, the way the girl talked was very soulful, but it wasn't such a big deal to get a hug from Jen. Really, Jen wasn't an affective person; she barely showed her feelings even with her friends.

_**"I don't know, Darren!"**_ Jen said with choked voice before hugging me. Of course I hugged her back, I was always the one who hugged her, but this time she did it first.

_**"Seems you want to hug everybody today."**_ I joked giggling softly, but then I felt something warm on my chest. _**"Jen, are you crying?"**_

She was definitely crying, but why? I could count with only one hand the times she cried because she was actually this cheerful and positive girl. So she not only hugged a stranger but she was also crying and this was beyond weird. Now I felt bad, because it was still odd for me to see her crying and the times she cried was because something really bad happened. But as far as I knew, nothing bad has happened lately. I rubbed my hands on her back to reassure her and then I kissed her forehead and I saw she was in fact crying.

_**"Hey, Jen, what's wrong?"**_ I asked softly, trying to calm her.

_**"I'm sad, Dar."**_ Jen said with cracked voice, trying to rest her head on my chest again so I wouldn't see her crying. I let her doing so and then I started caressing her long hair.

_**"Why? Has something bad happened and you didn't tell me? You know I'm here for whatever you need."**_ I asked curious but feeling bad about the way she was crying almost inconsolably.

_**"No, it's just this girl!"**_ Jen said sobbing. The girl? Was she crying because of the girl?

_**"What's up with this girl? This is weird, you know it. What has to do this girl?"**_ I asked frowning and more confused than ever.

_**"I feel bad because I judged her and she seems to be a good person. She's just too hurt and nobody understands her, and she tries over and over but everybody keeps ignoring her! This is so unfair and I'm a terrible person!"**_ Jen said sobbing in my chest and damn, her crying was heartbreaking.

_**"You aren't a bad person, Jen. Not at all. You're one of the most softhearted girls I've met. You cannot do anything for that girl, we all judged her. But what actually matters is that you realized what kind of person she is at the end."**_ I said trying to comfort her.

_**"You don't get it, Darren. What she said, how her life is...it made me remind me of my brother. And it killed me, Dar."**_ Jen said still sobbing even more heartrendingly.

Why did she mention her brother? I knew her little brother died three years ago, when we were in our Freshman year. And it was the first time I saw her crying. It was a terrible day when she told me that her brother died in an accident. But I really couldn't get what his brother had to do with this and with that girl.

_**"Why?"**_ I asked cautiously and confused.

_**"Because there's something I've never told you about my brother and how he actually died."**_ Jen sobbed in a way she was almost making me cry along with her. It was distressing to see her mourn like that.

_**"What are you talking about, Jen?"**_ I asked her, frightened of hearing the answer.

_**"He hasn't died in an accident. He committed suicide."**_ Jen mourned inconsolably.

_**"What?"**_ I asked disturbed and with trembling voice.

This was one of the most terrible things I've ever heard. The worst was that Jen kept it only for herself all this time and she was surely feeling terrible about it, but she never could get any kind of help because no one knew it. If a death of a loved one was terrible, I didn't want to imagine how it'd feel to lose a loved one because that loved one decided to die for own election. Fuck, surely all this time Jen felt guilty for her brother's death, guilty because she never realized that his brother was going through a rough situation, guilty because she couldn't help him, and guilty because she surely thought this was her fault. I was expecting any kind of answer, but not this one. I honestly didn't know what to do or say to make her feel better; because if I was feeling sad and I wanted to cry; I didn't want to imagine how she was feeling.

_**"He was feeling bad, really bad and I couldn't do anything for him. He was like her, he was always bullied at school because of the way he used to dress up and no one ever tried to know his real personality. He was ignored, discriminated, beaten and he was living in a hell. But unlike her, he couldn't take it, he couldn't make it. And I did nothing because I was scared to be the uncool girl at school after helping my brother. I've chosen my stupid reputation instead saving my little brother's life." **_Jen cried devastated as I've never seen her before. What she was saying was very rough._** "I'm one of those weak people she said. I thought I was going learn after my brother's death, but I'm still the same terrible and awful person who chooses reputation instead being myself, instead being nice to those who really deserve it. And I judged her the same way those people judged my little brother. I killed my brother, Darren."**_

That was too much to me. Listening to Jen thinking that way about herself and knowing that Jen was feeling like a terrible person was too much to me. But what pierced my heart was to have heard her saying that she killed her little brother. I couldn't help shedding tears of sadness. Her words were making me feel really sad. I never knew she could be feeling like this, that she was holding back all these feelings.

_**"You haven't killed your brother, Jen. He decided to do what he did. Nothing is your fault, you just did all you could have done. You never thought he could do something like that. Sadly sometimes we cannot help people. Each person is a whole world and because of that we cannot guess how they're feeling or thinking if they don't let us know."**_ I whispered reassuringly in her ear while I was caressing her hair. _**"And yes, you're weak; but so am I and so is everybody. Don't forget that the girl said so, and we both know it's true. You judged her, I judged her and she judged other people. We, human beings, are always judging; it's inevitable. The point is if whether we're brave enough to admit we made a mistake or not, whether we're humble enough to put aside our pride and apologize to the person we hurt or not. And you did it; you showed her that you were regretted when you hugged her. She noticed it and she forgave you. And I'm sure that, wherever your brother is now, he also forgave you. But don't feel guilty because they know you are regretted, because they know what kind of person you're after you've apologized to them; and they already forgave you because they understood you. You're a damn hell of amazing person Jen, and don't let anyone make you feel the opposite."**_

I was still shedding tears in silence because it was breaking my heart seeing her so sad. I kissed her forehead again and the kiss lasted a while, I didn't know any other way to make her feel better. I wanted to show her how amazing I thought she was and how much I loved her for being just the way she was.

_**"Do you really think that my brother forgave my mistakes?" **_Jen asked looking at me and wiping her tears away.

_**"I really do."**_ I smiled fondly at her, caressing her cheek.

_**"Thanks, Dar. For always being here."**_ Jen said sincerely before kissing my cheek.

_**"Well, yeah, I don't know what I'd do without my best and crazy friend."**_ I said hugging her again while she laughed faintly.

_**"Darren, don't you have to go to that club of Donuts and Coffee?"**_ Jen asked after a while, her head rested on my lap.

_**"Yeah, but I'd rather to be here with you. You're my best friend and I wouldn't change you for a hot girl."**_ I laughed softly.

_**"No, Dare. You should go and talk to that hot girl once and for all."**_ Jen said now sitting upright. _**"Anyway I have to go to Speech and Debate club." **_

_**"Again, tell me why you've chosen to join that club?"**_ I asked in disbelief and she laughed. Jen never showed any interest in those kinds of things.

_**"Because I think I'm gonna study Politics. Soon I'll be the president of the USA."**_ Jen laughed and then she stood up. Yes, she had the ability for those kinds of things about speeches and all that shit.

_**"Better if I get extra benefits, then."**_ I joked as I stood up. _**"I guess I'll see you at drama class."**_

_**"Guess so. Good luck with the hot girl, Dar."**_ Jen said winking at me before she left, running to go to her club.

_**"Thanks, will need it!"**_ I yelled while laughing.

Yes, I really needed luck. That hot girl never noticed me and she was so damn sexy that surely she wouldn't want to talk to me, a quirky guy. This was going to be my one chance to finally talk to her since her boyfriend or whatever Jim was, wasn't part of the club. Duh, Jim was that kind of guy who enjoyed partying hard with alcohol and drugs, the opposite of this club's intentions. I needed to show that hot girl that I was a best option for her, better than Jim. But I was freaking out. Damn, Darren! Cool it.

* * *

After your Chemistry class, you were walking through the hallways of the school, deep in thought, thinking about how Jen, Darren's friend, hugged you unexpectedly. Why would she do that after the way she was looking around not to be caught talking to you? You weren't used to be hugged and less to be hugged by a stranger; but you couldn't deny that it felt good, as if someone finally really cared about you. You didn't know if she cared about you or not, but that was what you felt in that moment. Well, you'd have to figure out what that hug was for.

Still walking deep in thought, you started to realize that a lot of people was looking at you and laughing archly. Some of them were doing weird gestures when they looked at you and you couldn't get why. Until you saw it. In your locker, there was a picture of you from last year. You remembered that moment; it was at Peter's house, when you, Alexandra and Peter were studying for an exam. You were having a bad day that day because you had an argument with your sister so you had swollen eyes for crying, not only that but you also had a disgusting pimple on your nose, not to mention you were wearing sportswear. Only Alexandra and Peter had that picture. But there was a note in the picture. You tore the picture from your locker and you read the note.

**"Remember you're the crap and we're the strong ones, so don't mess with us and don't act as if you were the badass girl, you fucking fat ass. You're gonna lose and we'll hunt you down until you have to wallow in shit, begging down on your knees for forgiveness. Watch your back, pimples. –W-"**

When you finished reading the note you noticed that your hands were trembling. Who were they? Who was "W"? Because it seemed they were the popular guys, but they didn't have that picture of you and there was no way they could have got it. And Alexandra and Peter weren't the ones who wrote it because that wasn't their way of talking. Now you were really scared. Throughout the years in that school you'd been beaten and insulted, but this was the first time you were being threatened and bullied in a really rude way in anonymity. You looked around furtively and in fear to check if someone was looking at you, if those anonymous people were looking at you; but truth was everybody was looking at you in a wicked and sneering way. Still trembling, with the picture in your hands, you crumpled it up and then you ripped it, throwing it on the floor in fear and anger.

You started walking away from your locker to go to the Speech and Debate club classroom, trying to ignore the looks and evil laughs. As you passed by, people around shouted "pimples" in your face. As you passed by, people around scoffed you. You couldn't take it anymore, it was really rough and hurtful; but you needed to remain strong, they couldn't bring you down. Or could they? You wouldn't stop wondering what exactly you did to deserve to be treated this way. What was wrong with them? Or...what was wrong with you? You only wished this could be just a nightmare, but it wasn't; it was real and it was happening.

When you arrived to the club classroom, you didn't look around to see if someone you knew was there, you just sat in the first empty chair you saw. You wouldn't stop picturing the picture, the note, the wicked looks and the sneer laughter. You wanted to cry because of your weakness, but you also wanted to find out who has done it to punch that person or those people because of your anger. You wanted to go home to lie down in bed and calm down, to let out all the frustration you were feeling, to find out what you were doing wrong to deserve this. You wanted to talk to someone about this because you needed to vent all your feelings; but you also wanted to be alone because you were scared, because you were ashamed, because you felt so little and vulnerable, and because actually you didn't have anyone to talk to. The person or the people who have done it, really knew how to mess up your feelings, they really knew what your weak spot was. You were so thoughtful that you didn't realize someone was asking you something.

_**"Freckles?"**_ Jen asked and you finally looked at her disconcerted. _**"Are you okay? I've been talking to you, telling you that I couldn't believe you were part of this club too. I was telling you that now we were going to be fellows in this club and at drama class. But you seem to be very distracted."**_

_**"Yes, sorry. I was thinking about something else. Sorry, I didn't know you were here."**_ You said still disconcerted and thinking of what happened earlier. You had no idea what you were going to do to focus in your classes.

_**"It's fine."**_ Jen smiled at you.

That was weird, and after what happened earlier you couldn't trust anyone. And then you started thinking about an off-chance. What if Jen and Darren had something to do with this? This never happened before you met them and for some odd reason they were being nice to you even though they didn't know you. You knew the saying: Keep your friends close and your enemies closer. What if you were an enemy for them for some odd reason? No, it couldn't be like that. They couldn't be so morbid to do something like that. But at this point, you couldn't rule out any possibility. Or maybe the people who were harassing you wanted you to think this way; they wanted you to be completely alone so you'd be a point blank shot. You just didn't know anything now.

_**"Is there something wrong?"**_ Jen asked looking at you, apparently worried.

_**"What?"**_ You asked thoughtful and taken aback.

_**"Are you okay?"**_ Jen repeated, now frowning and evidently worried. Maybe you could trust her; you needed to tell someone all your worries.

_**"I..."**_ You started saying but suddenly your phone buzzed. It was an unknown number.

**"Listen, pimple face with fat ass. If you tell anyone how you feel waiting for any kind of help, we're gonna beat you to death; not only you but all the people who attempt to help you. Would you let them suffer what only you should be suffering? Are you that kind of selfish bitch? We're watching you. -W-"**

You looked around terrified. The people who were harassing you were there now, they were watching you and they were watching all of your actions. And they had your phone number. How the heck have they got your phone number? This was going out of control and you really didn't know how to stop it. You were in danger, you knew it; and they knew how to play this morbid game. How were you supposed to escape from this situation? You were frightened, nervous and strained and you couldn't prevent your body from trembling. They were watching you.

_**"I'm fine."**_ You answered with trembling voice, trying to calm down and still looking around terrified.

_**"You don't look fine. You're pale." **_Jen said in concern with eyes wide open.

_**"I'm fine, I'm just remembering that I forgot to do my Math homework and I really have to go to do it."**_ You said still with trembling voice and standing up nervously.

You left the club classroom as fast as you could; you wanted to be away from those people who were watching you, harassing you. As you were walking fast, more people were looking at you in a suspiciously way. Now everything seemed suspicious to you, all the places and all the people. Now your school turned into a place that didn't seem safe anymore. You didn't know where to go but you needed to go away. Ladies bathroom, you thought. When you arrived to the ladies bathroom to calm, you saw something in the mirror that scared you even more. With a red lipstick was written:

**"Beware, pimple face. We're everywhere, bitch. -W-"**

So a woman was also involved. This was too much, this wasn't happening, this couldn't be happening. You looked around to see if someone was there, but the bathroom was empty. Someone was plotting against you and the situation was getting serious. You couldn't talk to anyone, you couldn't get any kind of help; because they were going to hurt all the people who tried to help you, and you couldn't allow it. You couldn't show up your weakness because they were going to make this worse, but you also couldn't face them, whoever they were, because they were going to kick you down, and you didn't know how far they could go with this. You were alone on this and they screwed you at the point you didn't know what to do. Then, your phone buzzed again, it was the same unknown phone number.

**"Funny how many enemies you can get in a matter of days. You're so fucked up, bitch. And you're gonna pay for all you've done. Let the game begin. -W-"**

Your whole body started trembling in fear and desperation. You were a game for them and they wanted to see you ruined. They wanted to humiliate you until you give up. But you couldn't give up. You wouldn't let them win; they needed to know that you weren't a stupid person. But how would you do it alone? How would you do it if you had no clue? How would you do it if you didn't even know how to start? But one thing was for sure: They wanted to play? They were going to play. They'd know that they couldn't mess with you.

You left the ladies bathroom and you walked to the Speech and Debate club classroom, decided and serious. You shouldn't let them know that you were actually scared. You walked ignoring all the comments and laughs, the looks and rude gestures. But when you were about to arrive to the club classroom, you saw that there was a huge image of your picture hung on the wall with the words "Pimple face" written on it.

_**"Have you made sure to use acne cream? We really don't wanna be sunk with the pus of your cystic acne, pimple face."**_ Someone laughed malevolently behind you. You turned around to see Brian Clerk.

A feeling of extreme anger took over your body. You were never ever this mad and rabid. Brian was surely involved on this game and you wouldn't let him humiliate you. You couldn't control your anger any longer and your anger was making you blind and deaf. Your anger was pulling out the worst of you, all the rancor and frustration you've been holding back all these years.

_**"Wipe my ass, you fucking jackass."**_ You yelled at him in a rage.

You were red of anger and you closed your fist firmly and tightly. Your whole body was trembling in a mix of fear and wrath. You, the girl who had a faultless behavior, were now facing that stupid guy, you were now swearing and cursing, and you were doing the most stupid thing you could have ever done. Brian looked at you in disgust and madness, also closing his fit firmly and getting closer. Evidently he didn't like at all the way you called him, the way you insulted him in front of a lot of people. He didn't like at all the way you cut him off, the way you lowered him.

_**"What did you say, bitch?"**_ Brian yelled at you also in a rage and threatening you with his fit. Everybody was watching intently the fight, expectant, screaming like idiots _'Fight, fight, fight'_.

_**"Wipe my ass, jackass, and wipe it with your impotent dick." **_You yelled like a really bad-mannered person. But at this point you didn't care.

Shit, wrong decision.

* * *

I was so freaking nervous to go to the Donuts and Coffee club, but I really needed to talk to that hot girl. As Jen said, this was my last year in high school and I couldn't end it before at least talking to her. So there I was, in that club only for her. I was feeling like a stupid twelve years old boy, feeling nervous and anxious to talk to her. Crap, I didn't even want a kiss or get laid with her, it was only talk to her and I was this damn nervous. Yeah, sometimes I can be this stupid eager guy. The funny thing was she wasn't there yet. But minutes later I saw her entering the room with her cheerleader uniform which fit perfectly in her bloody sexy body, she entered the room with her long and smooth hair, with her beautiful outlined eyes and her damn hot red lips, and with her delightful perfume. Seriously, her presence was stunning. Of course every guy in the room turned to look at her and I just couldn't take my eyes off her. How the hell was I supposed to talk to her? She was kind of intimidating, I felt so crappy and gross next to her. Why would she want to talk to me? I was Mr. Nobody for her.

But she sat near me and my hormones were like exploding. Damn, she was so near and all I wanted was to stand up and pull her against the wall.

_**"Stop it, Darren. You need to control yourself; you're here only to talk to her."**_ I thought in my mind. _**"Fuck, she's so perfect. Alright, alright, focus, Darren. Focus on what that guy is saying, stop looking at her like a moron and perverted guy."**_

But I couldn't focus on what the guy was saying because it was really boring. Instead, I started thinking how I could start talking to that girl. I couldn't regret at this point and I couldn't miss this chance. After all, she was the reason why I was there. The guy kept talking bullshit and then he said something to start meeting each member of the club. This was the chance to talk to her. I noticed that everybody started standing up to talk to someone and I stood up as fast as I could so I was going to be the first to talk to this girl, because evidently, all the boys wanted to talk to her.

_**"Hi!"**_ I said like an idiot when I reached her.

_**"Hi."**_ The girl answered indifferently without looking at my face. She seemed to be looking for someone.

_**"I'm Darren."**_ I said again like an idiot, nervous as hell. Great way to impress her.

_**"Nice to meet you Warren."**_ The girl said frivolously still looking away, looking for that someone.

_**"It's Darren, not Warren."**_ I said now feeling like a stupid. Noticeably the girl didn't want to talk to me and I was just there making a fool of myself.

_**"Sorry, Darren."**_ The girl huffed and she finally looked at me. Oh her eyes were like a dream, man. _**"Sorry I was just looking for someone who promised to be here but obviously he isn't here, as always." **_The girl said bad-tempered.

_**"Is it your boyfriend?"**_ I asked curious. I shouldn't have asked that, such a meddlesome.

_**"Yes. He always breaks promises. Whatever."**_ The girl huffed again grumpily.

_**"I'm sure he'll come soon."**_ I said shrugging and the girl looked at me curiously. _**"If I were your boyfriend, I'd never leave you alone in a room full of men." **_

Fuck, Darren, fuck! Why the hell did I say it? You fucking stupid jerk! Go ahead and freak out the hot girl. What was wrong with me? I was babbling, smiling eagerly like a goofball and if it wasn't enough, I was talking about her boyfriend and I was being obvious about what I felt for her. But anyway, the girl laughed and it made me feel better. Her laughter was breathtaking.

_**"Well, I'll let him know that I'll end up dating you instead him if he keeps breaking promises."**_ The girl laughed. I really didn't know how to feel; if embarrassed because she noticed I was into her, or really flattered because she said she'd date me.

_**"Well yeah, sorry about that. I was just thinking aloud."**_ I said making a stupid gesture, but it made her laugh again.

_**"You're funny."**_ The girl said grinning widely. She was smiling at me and it was the most amazing thing in the world.

_**"I'd say I'm a goofball who cannot be tamed."**_ I joked, now feeling more comfortable.

_**"The beast cannot be tamed. I like it."**_ The girl said laughing again and I just smiled goofily because this was going so well. _**"Let me introduce myself properly. I'm..."**_

_**"Fight, fight, fight."**_

The screams from outside didn't let me hear her name and suddenly she had a terrified face. It happened too fast.

_**"That's my friend who's yelling. Sorry Darren, I need to check what's going on."**_ The girl said exasperated and she left the classroom, running.

I just stood there for a few seconds, astonished for all that happened in a matter of seconds. When everybody started to leave the classroom to see what was going on outside, I decided to go check as well. What I saw startled me and everything happened really fast that I was so disturbed. Freckles was there facing Brian, the hot girl was standing next to her boyfriend Jim, and Jim was behind Brian. Everybody else was screaming "fight" constantly. Freckles was looking at Brian defiantly and Brian was showing her his fit closed firmly. Then Freckles made the wrong decision, the most stupid thing she could have ever said.

_**"Wipe my ass, jackass, and wipe it with your impotent dick."**_ She yelled in a rage. Well, I wouldn't have expected that kind of vocabulary from her.

I saw how Brian hit her with his fist in her stomach; I saw her grimace of pain. I saw how now Brian hit her in her cheek and I heard how everybody was laughing at her, like idiots. I saw the hot girl laughing at her and it pierced my chest. Brian was going to leave her unconscious if he kept hitting her the way he was doing. I needed to stop it, this was very violent and the poor girl seemed to be really suffering. It was even worse than the last time. But, again, I couldn't stop it because there was that hot girl. Apparently the hot girl didn't like Freckles and I couldn't just defend her. I was such a coward and selfish guy, I felt really nasty and bad.

_**"Stop it! Stop it!"**_ I heard a familiar voice yelling in a desperate way.

_**"Oh Jen, what the hell are you doing?"**_ I thought in my mind, freaking out.

_**"Leave her alone, you moron!"**_ Jen yelled angrily, stepping between Freckles and Brian.

_**"Stay the fuck out of the scene or I'm going to fucking destroy you like you've never imagined."**_ Brian yelled looking at Jen in a rage, showing her his fist. He was out of control and this wasn't going to end in a good way.

_**"Then fucking destroy me because I'm not leaving." **_Jen said defiant. Why the hell was she doing it? Why was she risking this way for a girl she didn't even know? Stupid Jen!

_**"You got it!"**_ Brian said trying to hit Jen, but she was faster and she punched him in his stomach.

I couldn't stand it. That guy was going to hit my best friend and I couldn't be there idly. Not even that hot girl would stop me from protecting my best friend. When Jen punched Brian, he looked at her maddest than ever. He raised his fist to punch her straight in her face but I ran to him and I pounced on him, knocking him down. I got on top of him and I started punching his face. I was never a violent person, but this guy pulled me crazy.

_**"No Darren! No, stop, stop Darren!"**_ I heard Jen yelling distressed but I ignored what she was screaming. Brian really deserved this and I wouldn't let him hit my best friend, he wouldn't mess with Jen.

_**"You motherfucker don't mess with my friend again!"**_ I yelled madly while I was still punching his face with all my strength.

But then I felt hands taking me by my shoulders. It was Jim who knocked me down. He started hitting my face and then Brian joined him and he started punching my stomach. Damn hell, it was so painful and I couldn't make it against them both, they were football players, so they were huge and super strong. I heard Jen screaming distressingly, but I couldn't do anything, I couldn't move. Then one of them, Jim, stopped hitting me for some reason and I could see that it was because Freckles kicked him so now Jim wanted to hit her again. This was going out of control and I could barely see.

_**"What is going on here?"**_ Suddenly an authoritative voice yelled. It was the principal.

I was never gladder than that time to hear the principal's voice. Brian stood up quickly but I couldn't stand up. He hit me hard and it was so painful that I just couldn't stand up. I only glanced at Jen who was looking at me crying distressingly; then I looked at Freckles who was bleeding, lying on the floor, she seemed to be unconscious. Then I glanced at Jim and Brian who played innocent in front of the principal. Those assholes. And then I couldn't help looking at the hot girl. She was serious and she seemed to be disturbed; for some reason she was looking at Freckles and then at Jim. Damn, I was feeling so weak, I just wanted to rest; I wanted to stop the pain and sleep. Everything was blurry now and I could barely hear what the principal was saying. Damn, now I couldn't see anything at all, everything was dark and painful.


	3. A new person

A/N: Okay guys! Here's Chapter 3! I wanted to thank you very much for your reviews! I'm glad you like this story and this way I'm writing it! Hope you can enjoy this chapter! :)

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**TEENAGE DREAM – Part 3- A new person.**

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"_**Darren?"**_ I heard a woman's familiar voice in the distance._** "He's awake! Darren, can you hear me?"**_

_**"Mom?"**_ I asked while everything around me was getting clearer.

_**"Yes, it's me, Darren."**_ My mom answered with her smooth voice. It was very nice to hear her voice.

_**"What happened? Where am I?"**_ I asked trying to sit on the bed I was lying, in a place I didn't know. My head was aching and I was kind of dizzy. I felt a deep pain in my ribs when I tried to sit. It was very painful.

_**"No, son. Don't make any physical effort."**_ My mom said again with her smooth voice. I finally saw her face; she was kind of worried, angry and jittery. _**"You're in the school health nursing. What's the last thing you remember?"**_

_**"I don't know."**_ I answered trying hard to remember what happened and why I was there. But the pain wasn't allowing me to think. My head was about to explode. I touched my temple and I noticed I had it bandaged. Then a few images came up into my mind. _**"Yes, I was in the Donuts and Coffee club, talking to this girl. And then I heard screams from the hallway. They were fighting, it was a terrible fight. That asshole."**_ I said furious when I remembered Jim and Brian hitting the girl and then when Brian tried to hit Jen.

_**"Manners, Darren."**_ My mom said severely.

_**"But mom, he's a real asshole. What kind of man would hit a girl until she is unconscious? And he was about to hit Jen, I wouldn't let it, mom."**_ I said still furious for what happened.

_**"And then you hit him, Dar. You shouldn't have done it, I told you to stop."**_ Jen's trembling voice suddenly said. I turned to see Jen looking at me worried. Chuck, my brother, was next to her looking at me serious.

_**"Yeah well, I wouldn't stand idly while that asshole was about to hit you, Jen."**_ I said frowning. Suddenly it seemed that what I did was wrong, but I didn't regret it even though now I was in pain.

_**"Darren, what kind of idiot are you? Have you looked at Clerk? He's a giant and you're just a tiny guy. What made you think you could beat him?"**_ Chuck asked frowning and serious.

_**"Charles, manners."**_ My mom said looking at him severely.

_**"What? He's an idiot. Instead calling an authority, the stupid pounced on him." **_Chuck said upset. _**"He could have killed you, Darren."**_

_**"Whatever. I'm alive and Jen is safe."**_ I said shrugging upset and grumpy.

_**"Yeah, with a black eye and with a punched hole in your bottom lip; not to mention the laceration of your forehead and the bruises on your stomach and chest."**_ Chuck huffed upset.

_**"Whatever, Chuck. I'm gonna get better sooner or later."**_ I said frowning and looking away, really annoyed.

_**"Dar."**_ Jen said smoothly, taking my hand and it made me calm down. I glanced at her, she had a sad look. _**"We're saying this for your own good, because we're worried. You shouldn't mess with those people. Now everything ended up in a not so bad way, but you don't know what else they can do."**_

_**"But Jen, they were going to hit you. If they did this to me, I don't wanna imagine what they could have done to you. That asshole was out of control and he really couldn't contain his anger, he would've left you unconscious." **_I said softly looking at her.

_**"And I thank you, Dar. But please don't do it again."**_ Jen said looking at me worried and distressed.

_**"Then don't do stupid things again, Jen. Why did you have to step between Brian and that girl? It wasn't your fight and you risked yourself."**_ I said with eyes wide open, still in disbelief because she did something as stupid as that.

_**"I know it wasn't. But Brian was hitting her hard, Dar. And no one was doing anything to help her, everybody was laughing at her as cold-hearted people. I couldn't see that situation and not do anything at all."**_ Jen answered looking down with sad eyes.

_**"Then you should understand why I did what I did."**_ I said looking at Jen and I squeezed her hand. _**"Jen, you're a swell and kind-hearted person; but you shouldn't have done it for a girl you don't even know that much. Maybe she asked for it, we don't know what kind of things she could have done to get it."**_

_**"How could you say something like that, Darren? The girl hasn't done anything wrong, and those popular guys are the stupid ones who do that because they think they can rule the school. Only because the girl faced him and defended her pride, Brian hit her unconscious."**_ Jen said frowning and astonished.

_**"I don't know Jen. Maybe you're picturing her like your brother. Maybe she isn't a good person unlike your brother."**_ I said shrugging. Fuck, I shouldn't have said it, it was very rough and I realized it as soon as I saw Jen's aghast expression.

_**"It wasn't like that, Darren. And don't talk about my brother as if you knew him. I can't believe that you, out of all people, are saying that she isn't a good person after you listened to her thoughts and feelings."**_ Jen said kind of upset. Why was she defending her that way? _**"And for the record, you're still alive because she pounced on Jim to stop him from hitting you. And for that reason, she's now in hospital."**_

_**"I...I didn't know it."**_ I said now feeling guilty and bad for that girl. I couldn't believe she had the guts to face Jim that way. She was fine before Jim punched her, and because of my fault she was now in hospital. And I thought shit about her; I was a bad person unlike Jen, who had the guts to face Brian for her. _**"How is she?"**_

_**"Still unconscious. She's not good; Brian and Jim were really harsh on her."**_ Jen said looking down, worried and sad.

_**"I..."**_ I started to say even if I didn't know what to say. But the nurse suddenly came into the room.

_**"Well, I see you're awake. How are you feeling?"**_ The old nurse asked kindly while she started checking my pulse.

_**"I'm fine, just sore."**_ I answered still thinking about that girl and what she has done.

_**"It's normal after the fight we witnessed earlier."**_ The nurse said still kindly and now checking my eyes.

_**"How is he?"**_ My mom asked worried.

_**"He's actually really good. The sore is normal and he doesn't have major injuries. I'd say he's ready to go home right now as long as he rests the enough to recover. He'd be able to return to school tomorrow."**_ The nurse said smiling.

_**"But I'm still sore."**_ I complained like a child.

_**"But with this magical pill you're gonna feel better."**_ The nurse said showing me a pink pill. _**"Take one now and another one before sleeping."**_

I nodded and I took the pill as the nurse said. I really wanted the pain to stop and I was a kind of hyperactive guy, so I couldn't rest for so long. That pill was really disgusting, but well, it was to feel better.

_**"So, can we go now?" **_My mom asked again.

_**"Yes, Mrs. Criss. Make sure he rests the enough."**_ The nurse said smiling politely at my mom before leaving.

My mom and Chuck helped me to stand up and Jen took my backpack. I was really happy to go home after that terrible day. The only thing that wasn't terrible was that I finally got to talk to the hot girl. But then I remembered the weird way she was looking at Freckles and Jim after the fight. She seemed to be angry and disturbed. Of course everybody was kind of disturbed, but there was something else in her look that I couldn't stop thinking about. I was missing something there. When I was walking through the hallway with help from Chuck, I heard a conversation that it was more like a dispute.

_**"I'm out of this. We agreed you wouldn't hurt her!"**_ The hot girl yelled angrily.

_**"I thought you hated her."**_ Jim answered frivolously.

_**"Well, yes, I do. But this was too much, Jim. You could have killed her."**_ The hot girl yelled again angrily.

_**"Well, that bitch deserved it. She pounced on me. I hit her like a boss."**_ Jim said proud of himself. Dickhead, I thought.

_**"Yeah, Jim! How rude you are for hitting a girl younger than you!"**_ The hot girl exclaimed sarcastically. _**"I'm out of this shit, don't count on me anymore."**_

_**"But baby, she's a stupid loser girl."**_ Jim said taking her by her hips.

_**"Don't call me baby, you blithering idiot."**_ The hot girl said furious and she got away from him. _**"And I'm breaking up with you, dolt." **_

_**"Baby, wait!"**_ Jim yelled while the hot girl was walking away.

_**"Fuck you, Jim!"**_ The girl yelled without looking at him.

_**"You bitch, I'm gonna ruin you and your fucking plastic face."**_ Jim yelled in a rage knocking a locker.

I stood there, hearing the conversation in shock. That conversation was odd and I could barely get what they were talking about. I don't know, it just seemed they were talking about Freckles, but I wasn't sure. No, it had to be Freckles because Jim hit her and she was the one who pounced over him; but maybe Jim also hit another girl. And why would the hot girl hate Freckles? Freckles was barely noticed in school and I couldn't get why a popular and gorgeous girl like the cheerleader could hate a shy and unnoticeable girl like Freckles. Maybe Freckles has done something really bad to the cheerleader; after all, I didn't know Freckles that much to be sure she was a good person. And the cheerleader mentioned something that she was out of that, out of what? But I could be almost sure that the cheerleader wasn't a bad person because she didn't want to hurt Freckles, even though she hated her; at least it was what she told him. But anyway, I didn't even know if they were talking about Freckles, I was making up things in my mind as always. As if I was a private eye; hey, that was a good topic for a drama play. Fine, the only thing I was sure it was that the cheerleader broke up with Jim. That was a fantastic thing for me; Jim was an asshole and now I had the way free to get her. Oh yeah, I was going to start flirting with her shameless, until she realizes I'm a better option for her. Chuck was now looking at me frowning because I made him stop and my mom was looking at me concerned. Meanwhile, Jen was also kind of shocked; I thought I was looking just like her. She glanced at me and then she shook her head in disgust. Why did she do it? I don't know, maybe I was just being susceptible.

_**"Darren, is he one of the people who hit you?"**_ My mom asked concerned.

_**"Yeah."**_ I answered bitterly.

At this point I couldn't believe that neither Jim nor Brian were expelled. At least they could have got any kind of detention. But of course they wouldn't be expelled because they were the popular guys and their parents were surely representative and wealthy people; so Brian and Jim were well-off in the school. My mom tried to walk to Jim, but I took her by the arm.

_**"What are you doing mom?"**_ I asked disturbed.

_**"What do you think I'm doing? I'll talk to him."**_ She answered quietly.

_**"No, you won't do it, mom."**_ Chuck said firmly. _**"We're going home, Darren is gonna rest and later we're gonna talk to the principal. Is not that Darren is innocent on this."**_

Sometimes I wondered why sometimes Chuck could be a pain in the ass, playing to be my dad or something only because he was my big bro. Anyway, we had the best relationship we could have; he was the best big bro. And this time he was right, I wouldn't let my mom talk to that asshole. After my mom and Chuck argued, my mom agreed that Chuck was right, so then we walked to my mother's car. When I was about to get into the car, Jen stopped me.

_**"Dar, I'm sorry but I won't go to your place. I'll visit Freckles at the hospital, to see how she's doing."**_ Jen said softly.

_**"Are you serious Jen?"**_ I asked in disbelief raising my eyebrows. I couldn't get why Jen cared too much about this girl.

_**"Yeah, I'm serious Dar."**_ Jen answered looking deeply and serious into my eyes, in a very intimidating way. Yes, whenever she looked at me that way meant that she was speaking in all seriousness. _**"I hope the pain can stop. Do you want me to pick you up tomorrow morning?"**_

_**"Yeah..."**_ I started saying still thinking about Jen and this girl. Maybe Jen wasn't telling me something I didn't know yet.

_**"Good. I'll be at your place at 7am."**_ Jen said before kissing my cheek to say goodbye.

_**"Jen, wait. I'll go with you, to the hospital."**_ I said quickly before she could leave.

_**"No, you have to rest."**_ Jen said serious.

_**"Hey guys, is there any reason why you don't get your ass in the car?"**_ Chuck asked a bit annoyed from the car.

_**"Yes, actually, yes. I'm going home later."**_ I answered closing the car door.

_**"Darren, get in the car! You have to rest."**_ My mom said firmly from the car.

_**"I'll be home soon. Now I have to go to the hospital."**_ I said while I intertwined my arm with Jen's arm, because even though I was a bit better, I was still in pain.

_**"Everett, get in the car."**_ My mom said again, this time authoritatively. She was never this authoritative, this only happened when she was mad.

_**"Mom, I really have to go to the hospital to see how my...Umm, friend...is doing."**_ I said looking away. Freckles actually wasn't my friend, but I knew it was the only way my mother would let me go to the hospital.

_**"Fine. But both of you get in the car. We're gonna drive you there and we're gonna wait for you. You can't walk that much, Darren." **_My mom said now softening her voice. She was the most understanding and sympathetic person in earth, that was one of the reasons why I loved her so much.

The way to the hospital wasn't quiet at all. Once my mom and Chuck noticed I was better, they started joking about what happened to me earlier and how terrible I looked now; Jen also joked about it. They were always joking and a lot of people would think it wasn't right, but they weren't like most of people, I didn't have a normal family and that was what I loved so much. They always knew the way to make me smile whenever I was feeling bad. When we arrived to the hospital, Chuck and my mom waited in the car while Jen and I went to Freckles's room. At first, they didn't want to let us visit her because we weren't her family, but at the end, they agreed when we begged too much. When we were in front of her room door, the nurse stopped us.

_**"Fortunately she regained consciousness and she's awake now; but she can't talk yet, so please don't make her talk and be quiet. Visiting hour finishes in an hour."**_ The nurse said looking at us severely and we just nodded.

She opened the door and then she left, leaving us alone. The room was very quiet and no one was there. I thought that her parents would be there, but they weren't, maybe they didn't know she was there or maybe they couldn't be there at that time. There was only one bed; she was in a private room, surely her parents paid for it or something. In that bed there she was, lying in bed with her eyes opened and looking at the ceiling. She was connected to medical equipment and I had no idea of what those were for. Jen and I stood in the door, looking at her, very disrupted for the outrageous image we were seeing. Her face looked ghastly, she was really pale and every part of her face was swollen; she had a black eye from the other fight, but this time she had both of her eyes bruised, one of them was so swollen to the point she couldn't open it, and she had bleeding within the other eye. She had a big stitch in her jaw and other stitch in her temple. Her nose was fractured and she also had minor scratches all over her face. Then I looked at her arms, the only part of her body I could see, and she had few injuries there, but those were minor. She was really bad and a feeling of anger took over my body when I remembered that those assholes weren't expelled after what they've done. How couldn't they expel those assholes if they almost killed this poor girl? Why did they do something like that? What has this girl done to deserve this kind of excessive abuse? How could they be so cold-hearted to do something like that? While I was ablaze with anger, feeling powerless to face this situation; Jen, next to me, was shedding some tears in silence, but as soon as she noticed I was looking at her, she wiped her tears away and she pretended to be bleak. Jen was the first to walk towards her in silence. Freckles didn't move and she remained looking at the ceiling. Apparently, Jen was shedding tears again, so I just walked towards her to take her hand. But then I saw the girl lying in bed. The girl had a blank stare and tears were streaming down her face in silence. Her stare was empty and I'd think she wasn't feeling anything at all if it wasn't for her tears. When Jen and I were looking at her, the girl seemed not to have noticed our presence, or at least it seemed like that because she didn't glance at our direction. It was a heartbreaking situation to see her like that; she seemed so vulnerable and hopeless. I didn't know why I started to feel a pressure in my chest, as though a feeling of deep anguish was piercing my heart. I felt pity for that girl and all her distressing presence, I felt bad for all her vulnerability. I didn't know her and I shouldn't be feeling like that. But I knew why I was feeling this bad: she was like that because she tried to help me with those bullies. She was like that because she was trying to stop the bullying directed to her, because she was asserting her rights to be happy and safe, because she was asserting her rights to be herself without letting anyone bring her down for that. She was like that because she was the only person who faced those bullies with courage, she was the only person who tried to put an end to discrimination, harass and abuse; she against all the people who were coward like me. I started to wonder why people had to be so mean and why they enjoyed the suffering of the other; I couldn't find any answer. For some odd reason, not so odd, I started to shed tears in silence. Neither she nor anyone deserved that. Jen rested her head on my shoulder while she was still crying in silence; surely for her this situation was rougher than for me, because she was surely remembering her little brother. I was the first to talk.

_**"Hi Freckles."**_ I greeted kindly, breaking the silence and feeling kind of uncomfortable for that. _**"How are you doing?" **_

Ugh, stupid! She couldn't talk, it was the first thing the nurse said and I was so stupid to ask how she was doing. Anyway, she didn't move, she didn't attempt to talk and she didn't glance at our direction. She remained steady, still shedding tears, still looking at the ceiling, and still with her blank stare. It was really grievous to see her like that. The times I saw her, she was serious but whenever someone talked to her in a nice way, she always looked at that someone with bright eyes and smiled kindly. Now she seemed to be a different girl. I didn't know what to say, I never experienced a situation like this. And I didn't even know if she was listening to me or not.

_**"I...I wanted to thank you. Jen told me what you did for me. And I want to thank you very much." **_I said looking into her eyes. Nothing happened.

_**"We won't let this happen ever again, Freckles."**_ Jen finally said with choked voice. _**"We've got your back. You're safe, so don't be afraid." **_

I looked at Jen who was still crying in silence. She was damn of a wonderful person and she wouldn't stop surprising me. She always knew exactly what to say and I didn't know she was this caring person.

_**"Sorry to interrupt, but the visiting hour has finished."**_ The nurse said from the door and Jen and I nodded, looking at her.

_**"Take care, Freckles. I'll be waiting to see you again in school." **_Jen said smiling at her, but the girl didn't look at her. Jen waited a few seconds before she left the room.

I started walking next to Jen, but then I stopped. I had this need to tell her something else, I didn't know why, I just had that feeling. I turned around and I walked to her bed. I kneeled and I got closer. I could see every injured part of her face and my heart skipped a beat.

_**"You're so brave and I'm proud of you. Not everybody would have done what you've done."**_ I whispered in her ear. Maybe it was inappropriate, but I didn't care, I just needed to say it. _**"Do not ever give up. You've got a friend in me and I'll be here to help you face those bullies. You're not alone on this, keep it in mind."**_

I leaned to kiss her forehead, trying to be careful not to hurt her. I knew I shed a tear on her face; I knew the kiss lasted several seconds. What I didn't know was the reason why I did it, or why I told her she's got a friend in me; I just felt it and for some weird reason I'd never understand, I felt as if I were already her real friend. But what I most remember is what happened after I kissed her forehead. Her eyes weren't looking at the ceiling any longer; her big eyes were looking deeply into mine. What I felt in the moment she looked at me, was something I can't really explain. Her eyes were literally fixed on mine and she had the saddest and most helpless look I've ever seen in my life. I still couldn't get why she was looking at me that way, I only know that her look made me feel a bunch of feelings deep down my heart. I let my mind soar in terms of the fact I head right off her look. It was as if she was trying to say me something with her gaze, something she couldn't say out loud, something as though it was her deepest secret. She seemed to be desperate and also hopeless; she seemed to be downhearted, troubled, tired and frightened. But there was also something else I couldn't get, it was something as if she was worried, but not for herself, she was worried about something else. Her gaze was very intense and I couldn't take my eyes off her, because I was trying hard to get what she wanted to tell me, because I knew she wanted to tell me something. I always thought that no one can talk with their eyes, that it was only a lame invent of movies; but since she looked at me that way, I knew it was possible; it's just I never learned how to read the eyes of someone else. Instinctively, I took her hand and I squeezed it softly, still staring into her eyes. I didn't know why I did it; it was as though someone else was controlling my movements, as if I were a puppet. When I did it, she broke the eye contact and she looked blankly at the ceiling again, shedding tears again. When she broke the eye contact, it was as if the spell to which I was subjected, was over. I realized I was looking at her like a fool and I realized I was holding her hand. I was just too taken aback. I stood up and, before leaving, I glanced at her again, but she was still looking at the ceiling. When I closed the door behind me, I just stood there, more bewildered than ever.

_**"Dar, are you okay?"**_ Jen asked as soon as she noticed me and my face.

_**"I don't know."**_ I answered looking down, trying to settle down everything that happened in that room when Freckles and I were alone. Then I looked up to Jen. _**"She looked at me. And it was heartbreaking."**_

Unable to control it, tears started to stream down my face. I'd never understand what happened to me in that moment.

* * *

The last thing you remembered was Jim's fist going directly to your face, and then everything turned dark and silent. You couldn't understand why you were in another place you didn't know and how you got there. The pain in your whole body was unbearable and everything was blurry. When you opened your eyes, the only you could see was blurry people walking around, checking you. The only thing you could hear was a machine indicating your pulse. You tried to sit in bed, but you couldn't move; you tried to ask someone where you were, but you couldn't talk. Then you started feeling tired, so tired; your eyes were heavy and you couldn't stay with eyes open any longer. Dark again. You heard steps coming closer, you heard how the steps stopped next to you, and you felt how someone leaned over. But you couldn't open your eyes, you wanted to open your eyes, you wanted to move and you wanted to talk, but you simply couldn't.

_**"This is what bitches get when they're annoying. Enjoy your deplorable life as long as you can, fat ass." **_Someone's voice whispered in your ear.

You couldn't open your eyes to see who was saying it, you didn't recognize the voice, and you couldn't tell if it was a woman's or man's voice. You wanted to scream in fear, you wanted to shout help; but you couldn't. The person who was harassing you was there now and you couldn't defend yourself, that person could even kill you and you couldn't do anything to prevent it. You were scared, your heart started beating faster, but your body couldn't respond, you were motionless and speechless. Fear and exasperation was all you were feeling.

_**"If you tell anyone I was here, I'll disconnect the machine that keeps you alive. I've noticed you've got new friends. Well, if you tell them a damn fucking word of what I'm saying or doing, they'll be in danger and I'm gonna destroy them slowly in the worst way possible."**_ The same voice said again and you just wanted to scream. _**"You need to play this game alone; you really don't want other people suffer all the consequences only you should be suffering. Or are you also that selfish and black-hearted bitch?"**_

That person had to be someone who knew you well. Why was that someone there? Why wasn't anybody checking if everything was alright? You needed to see who that person was, talking to you in a morbid way.

_**"And beware your behavior. You shouldn't pretend something you aren't. Let's face it, bitch. You're nothing but a damn loser and stupid resistless person. Isn't it funny to know that no one is willing to help you? Except for that other bitch and that dickhead guy. Well, soon they're gonna be out of this game, either for your wise decision to stop talking to them or for what I'll have to do to them if you keep talking to them."**_ The person said ominously, laughing in a macabre way. _**"You're surely wondering what the goal of this game is; well, I'll let you know: To fucking destroy you until you kneel down with your last breathe begging for a chance to live while people see your repulsive lack of pride and courage, to make them see what kind of slut you are. Why are we doing this? Because at the end, no one wants a loser living in this world, you make people sick, you shouldn't exist, fat ass. Remember we're watching you and we know a lot of things about you to destroy you if you don't play fair. Watch out, slut."**_

Then you heard the steps walking away from you and closing the door of the room. You still couldn't do anything and you wanted to cry in exasperation. What have you done to deserve this? As far as you knew, you never hurt anyone; there was no reason to be threatened like this. You needed to walk away from the people you liked; otherwise they were going to suffer because of your fault. How could you do it? Then you realized you weren't safe anywhere. You just didn't know where they could appear or who those people could be. This was turning into a very ghoulish situation and you couldn't find any way to escape. You didn't know how this was going to end and you couldn't get how they managed to find you. You only wanted to wake up from this nightmare, aware that it wasn't a nightmare. Darkness and silence. The pain made you regain consciousness again. You tried to move but you still couldn't; you tried to talk but you couldn't; you tried to open your eyes and this time you could, but only with one eye. At first everything was blurry but then everything started to be clearer. The room was empty, you were completely alone, and you were in a hospital. You looked at your hand and arms, the only part of your body you could see. You had few injuries. Then you looked at the ceiling, thinking about everything that happened since you started school. You had the hope that things would get better, but each time it was only getting worse. You started crying the tears you couldn't cry when you heard the voice of that person. You had no way out. Either way, you would end up hurt; and not only you but also all those people who were nice to you. You needed to keep Darren and Jen away from you, for their own good. And that was hurtful. Right when you were finding your way to be happy, a thing like this came to happen. If this wasn't hell, then what was it? Voices and steps. That was what you could hear while you were staring blankly and hopeless at the ceiling. You couldn't see who it was because you were too weak, at this point you didn't care if it was the one who was bullying you. You just wanted to end with this hell, in any way. If they wanted to kill you, they were going to do so; honestly at this point you didn't care because anyway you were alone and it was pointless to live only by your own.

_**"Hi Freckles."**_ You heard a kind voice. It was Darren. _**"How are you doing?" **_

You couldn't help crying. Darren's voice was a really nice voice to hear and more in that moment; he had something in his voice that could make you calm down, whatever it was happening. But you couldn't look at him, not because physically you couldn't but because you remembered that ghoulish voice threatening you. You needed to stay away from him even though it was going to be really hard. You remembered when, months ago, your only dream was to talk to him, to be friends with this stunning guy; and now that you finally got the chance to talk to him, you couldn't do it because you didn't want that the people who were harassing you start to harass him as well. You wanted to look at him, you wanted to talk to him, you wanted to know how he was after the fight; but you needed to hold back your desires for his own good. If only you could be happy and have a normal life like the others, this would be different. But you had a dagger in your neck. You tried to focus on the ceiling, trying hard not to look at him while more tears started to stream down your face.

_**"I...I wanted to thank you. Jen told me what you did for me. And I want to thank you very much." **_Darren said again.

It was very hurtful to hear. You wanted to tell him that he shouldn't thank you because you were the one who should thank him for just being there; because he cared about you somehow, otherwise he wouldn't be in the hospital. You wanted to thank him because he was one of the reasons why you were being happy now; he was one of the reasons why you could face those bullies. But you couldn't do it, you needed to keep it in mind. You tried to look blankly at the ceiling. This was the only way you could keep them away from you.

_**"We won't let this happen ever again, Freckles."**_ Jen finally said with choked voice. _**"We've got your back. You're safe, so don't be afraid." **_

Your heart skipped a beat when you heard Jen's voice too. She was also there. She, the only person who defended you, who helped you, who faced those bullies to protect you for the very first time in all your years in school. You had no idea why she was doing all of that for you, why she was being so nice to you, why she cared about you that much. She had no idea how much she now meant to you. First it was the hug and then it was she helping you. And now she was saying all of those beautiful and caring words, the nicest words that someone has ever told you. If only she knew that this wasn't about a simple case of bullying; if only she knew the way you were being threatened. Once again, you tried your best not to look at them. This was too much to bear.

_**"Sorry to interrupt, but the visiting hour has finished."**_ You heard how the nurse's voice said from the door.

_**"Take care, Freckles. I'll be waiting to see you again in school." **_Jen said kindly and you had to contain yourself not to look at her.

You heard steps walking away from you, and you felt really sad because they were leaving, but at the same time you were feeling more relaxed because you couldn't keep avoiding looking at them for any longer. But then you heard steps walking to you, then you felt how someone kneeled next to your bed and you felt how someone was leaning over. You realized it was Darren because of his smell. He was very close and your heart started beating faster, this wasn't good. Now you seriously couldn't contain yourself any longer.

_**"You're so brave and I'm proud of you. Not everybody would have done what you've done."**_ Darren whispered in your ear. You were just like dying inside and more tears came out from your eyes. Darren Criss, the guy you loved in secret, was telling you that he was proud of you and anyone was proud of you before. This was too much for your feelings. _**"Do not ever give up. You've got a friend in me and I'll be here to help you face those bullies. You're not alone on this, keep it in mind."**_

And then he did something you'd have never expected: He kissed your forehead and it lasted several seconds. Those were the most beautiful seconds. Darren told you that you had a friend in him; he was telling you that he was your friend as you always dreamed. Darren was telling you that you weren't alone as you thought; he was telling you that he was going to help you face those bullies. And he kissed your forehead in a very sweet way; in a way that made you feel loved. At this point, you really needed to look at him. When he stopped kissing you, you looked straight into his eye. At first he didn't look at you, but then he realized you were looking at him, so then his deep hazel eyes fixed on your eyes. You couldn't look at anything but his eyes. You couldn't talk to him and you couldn't make any movement, otherwise the person who was harassing you was going to find out you didn't want to walk away from him. You tried your best to tell Darren with your eyes all you were feeling, all that was happening; but he seemed not to understand, he seemed to be disturbed. You didn't know how you did it, but suddenly all your feelings were reflected in your eyes: the anger, the fear, the sadness, the worry, the desperation, the tiredness and the hopeless. You wanted to let him know that you needed him but you couldn't stay near him; you wanted to let him know that you were thankful; you wanted to let him know that you needed help; you needed someone to stand by you. You needed to let him know that you were in danger, but that they were also in danger. You wanted to let him know how much he meant to you but also you wanted to let him know that he needed to stay away from you, that this was really hard but it had to be like that. But Darren seemed to be more bewildered than ever, you knew he wasn't getting what you were saying because his deep hazel eyes couldn't stop looking at yours very confused. Then he took one of your hands and squeezed it softly and reassuringly. It was the best you could feel; you felt his very soft and firm hand again. It was an inexplicable feeling what you felt when he held your hand. All your fears seemed to vanish and there was just this feeling of relief. But it was the calm before the storm. In your mind, you heard that malicious voice again, telling you that he or she or they were going to hurt Darren if you kept doing those kinds of things. A deep anguish of bleakness pierced your chest. Even though Darren was the person who could make you feel that nothing was too bad, you needed to let him go because he was this kind of awesome guy and you wouldn't forgive yourself if something bad comes to happen to him. So you looked deeply into his eyes for the last time before looking at the ceiling again, leaving him more confused than ever.

_**"I'm sorry, Darren. This is for your good." **_You thought in your mind when you were staring blankly at the ceiling and Darren let out your hand.

You heard his steps walking away from you and then you heard how he closed the door behind him. Now you were alone again. This was what the people who were harassing you wanted: to be alone. In this macabre game for them, they were going to win and you couldn't do anything to change it. You felt as if you couldn't live your own life because others were living it, making with your life whatever they wanted. This was frustrating and depressing.

* * *

_TWO WEEKS LATER…_

* * *

The first two weeks after the fight were really messy for me. I still felt pain in the parts of my face where Brian had beaten me, but the pain was mild. It surprised me that neither Brian nor Jim attempted to beat me again; yeah, they looked at me threateningly and furiously, but they did nothing. Without doubt, the worst was the way people looked at me when I passed by the hallways or when I was in class. Well, they had their reasons, because everybody would pay attention to the guy who had a black eye, a laceration of his forehead and a cut on his bottom lip. People looked at me terrified as if I were Freddy Krueger and I wondered why I didn't go to school dressed up as him, it'd have been funny. But also some of them looked at me in a weird and rough way; surely this was the way the "losers" felt every time the popular people looked at them. Maybe I was now a loser for those people, but I honestly didn't give a damn fuck. They could call me however they wanted and they could think whatever they wanted about me as long as I was happy and proud of what I did or who I was. Unlike me, Jen wasn't feeling good with this situation. Sometimes women could be rougher than men. While the men resorted to physical violence, women resorted to verbal abuse; and this last one could be worse than the first one. So yes, Jen had to bear being verbal abused by girls in school. Whenever I could, I defended her because for some reason Jen, instead defending herself, shut herself and that was making her be sad almost all the time. That was a damn weird thing from Jen. Anyway, I knew that soon this situation was going to end; it always happened after a while. You stop being an object of amusement and derision when they get bored of you and they find someone else to bother. Nasty but true story.

That day, Jen made me worry like never before. There was something wrong with her, but as much as I insisted, she wouldn't tell me anything. She seemed to be scared and disturbed for something, I just didn't know what that something was and I needed to find it out. It happened after our lunch, after she left the ladies bathroom. During lunch she was doing moderately well, but then she left the bathroom with a horrified face. The first I thought it was that some girl bothered her, but Jen denied it. She told me I should stop worrying about her because she was fine, but her eyes and the way she was talking weren't telling me the same. While I was walking with Jen, thinking what could be wrong with Jen, I saw her, I saw Freckles near her locker. The way I felt when I saw her face was something I would never understand. I was happy to see her again in school because it meant she was better, I felt relieved because I honestly thought she couldn't make it, I thought she was going to transfer to another school where she could be safe; but I also felt worried. I wasn't only worried because maybe those bullies could do what they did before, I was also worried because of the way she looked, the way everybody was looking at her and the way her presence was. And by presence I meant the way she was walking, the way she was looking at everybody and the way she was dressed. This wasn't the same person I met the first day of school. To be clearer, she was walking in an introverted way, looking at everybody with suspicion and fear; her bright presence had disappeared and now it was as though there was a dark shadow surrounding her. And the way she was dressed helped to create that atmosphere around her: Unlike the first days of school, she was now wearing black long stretchy leggings, a black sleeveless shirt with metal studs and black buskin cow leather boot; not to mention that now she was wearing black eye shadow and outlined eyes. I couldn't recognize her, I didn't like the way she was looking now and I knew she was doing it because she was feeling really down inside. Jen was the first to walk towards her; unlike me that I stood there, still not believing she changed roundly her appearance. Jen hugged her and Freckles reacted in a very weird way. She didn't hug her back like that day we were outside; this time she tried to get away from Jen. I saw that Jen whispered something at her, like a secret or something, and Freckles looked around and then she looked at Jen disturbed; telling Jen something in a whisper. Obviously I couldn't hear a damn shit of what they were talking about, but it didn't seem to be a good thing judging by their faces. Finally, I decided to walk towards her.

_**"Hi Freckles, it's nice to have you back."**_ I greeted, grinning warmly. Yes, it was nice to see her again but not this way, though. She still had a black and swollen eye and I could notice the scars on her jaw and forehead.

_**"Yeah, same."**_ She answered curtly, looking around.

Well, that was weird because as far as I remembered, I was the one who always looked around to check if someone was looking at me whenever I was with her; and now she was the one who was doing it and she never did it before. And the way she answered me? She wasn't like that, she hasn't even smiled, and she always smiled, at least faintly. She was serious and apparently kind of nervous. It seemed as if she wasn't comfortable around us like before.

_**"Sorry, I have to go to the stupid class. See you around."**_ Freckles said coldly and she turned around but I took her by the arm to stop her.

Holy shit, I didn't like at all the way she looked at me. She looked at me as if I were, I don't know, touching her ass or something. She looked at me kind of furious, actually furious wasn't the word, it was more like "What the hell are you doing?". I had to admit it was kind of scary. She let out her arm harshly. Dammit, I only took her by the arm! Was it that bad?

_**"Don't touch me again."**_ She said coldly, looking deeply into my eyes. She was making me feel as if I were a perverted or something like that. Anyway, very deep in her eyes I noticed a hint of sadness instead anger.

_**"Sorry. It was an instinctive reaction; I didn't know you could get that mad."**_ I said looking at her bewildered while Jen was just looking at the situation aghast.

_**"Well, now you know."**_ She said coldly again and then she looked away serious.

_**"I just wanted to stop you since we're going to the same class. Spanish III, remember?"**_ I said still looking at her intently. There was something weird about the situation that wasn't convincing me.

_**"Yeah, right. Well, I'm going to that lame and stupid class."**_ She said huffing in annoyance. Since when she cursed? Since when she called a class stupid? As far as I knew, she was always excited to go to class. _**"Hurry up if you're going as well."**_

_**"Yes, right."**_ I said nodding and then I looked at Jen. _**"See you later, Jenny."**_

_**"See you later, Dar. Have a good day, you two."**_ Jen said with her usual kindness.

_**"Remember."**_ Freckles suddenly said to Jen.

_**"Will do."**_ Jen said looking at Freckles, smiling sadly.

Now I was sure there was something about them I didn't know. The way they looked at each other in conspiracy, or as if they had an agreement or as if they were sharing a secret. Maybe later I'd ask Jen what it was about. But now, Freckles started walking and I walked behind her in silence, staring at her and the way she walked as if she was edgy. She didn't check if I was following her and she didn't talk to me in our way to the Spanish classroom. Who was this new girl?

* * *

The doctors said that now your medical condition was stable, so you could return to school. As far as you knew, Brian and Jim weren't expelled and they weren't even suspended; they were still in school and you knew they were going to keep bullying you. They were the ones who were bullying you, you just knew it; even though you couldn't understand how they knew everything you were doing if they weren't all the time near you and they almost weren't taking the same classes than you. But you couldn't be idly while they were still making fun of you. You wouldn't let them destroy you and you were going to prove them so. The last fight and that unexpected visit in hospital from that person who threatened you; helped you to clear your mind and think about a strategic plan; after all, you weren't an idiot when it came to logistics. So, in your first day in school after the fight, you were another kind of person: you needed to pretend that you were a rude person. To achieve the goal, first you needed to change the way of dressing because no one would take you seriously with the clothes you were used to wear. You needed to achieve a rude and dark look and for that; you looked in your sister's wardrobe for clothing that she used for a costume party when she dressed up as a heavy metal woman. You were going to start wearing those clothes until you could have time to go shopping and buy more clothes like that. But not only you needed to dress up like that to achieve that goal, you also had to start wearing make-up; you didn't like it so much but it was something you had to do. Then your appearance has changed completely and now you seemed almost a rude girl; but you also had to change your personality to make it believable. You were going to turn into a woman of few words. Yes, you wouldn't talk to anyone more than few minutes, and the times when you needed to talk, you were going to be harsh, cold and curtly. You needed to show disinterest in going to class or doing extracurricular activities and you needed to show disrespect for the authorities; you needed to turn into that badass girl. And the most important: you needed to stay away from Darren and Jen, because you didn't want them to end up hurt. Maybe this new way of being would keep them away, because you weren't going to be a nice girl. Yes, you were going to be like that until you get to know who the people who were bullying you were. Your purpose was to infiltrate between them, and they'd fall into a bottomless pit before they could realize it. When you arrived to school you were nervous as hell, and of course your plan wasn't working as you expected. You couldn't stop looking around you to find any kind of clue of who the people who were bullying you were; and everybody was obviously looking at you while they were gossiping about you. You got all the different kinds of look: surprised ones, terrified ones, disgusted ones, indifferent ones and derisive ones. It wasn't only for your new outward appearance, but it was also because of your injuries and scars. Maybe your plan wasn't working so well because now you were sort of the spotlight, as never happened before; but maybe being the spotlight was the opposite of being a bad thing, it could help you to get to those bullies easier. You needed to be very chary. When you were feeling moderately self-confident about your plan, everything changed when a person you knew walked towards you: Jen.

"_**Freckles, I'm so happy you're here again."**_ Jen said smiling at you kindly, but there was a shadow in her eyes. You quickly looked around to check if someone was near you, you saw Darren standing several steps away from you, looking at you with a disturbed face. _**"You look different."**_

_**"Yes, I'm different now."**_ You answered coldly. That was really hard to do and it was harsh to hear because Jen's smile vanished from her face. But it was what it was needed to do.

_**"I think I know why you try to seem another kind of person, very different from who you really are."**_ Jen whispered a bit sad. The honest and confident way she said that made you feel astonished. _**"I received an anonymous threatening message today."**_

_**"What?"**_ You exclaimed in a whisper, terrified.

The game has begun as the bullies told you. And of course they started with Jen, the one who helped you that day. You were now really worried and scared. One of your goals was to prevent those bullies from ill-treating Jen and Darren; but they were faster and they already started. But Jen surely didn't know that this was your fault, probably Jen didn't know that they were threatening you, maybe she was telling you that by coincidence; so you needed to keep your plan up.

_**"That's bad."**_ You whispered curtly, trying to pretend you didn't know what she was talking about.

_**"It is."**_ Jen whispered looking down while Darren was still standing several steps away with the same disturbed face. _**"It involves you. Have you been receiving those too?"**_

_**"No, I don't know what you're talking about." **_You answered in a whisper, looking nervously around to check if someone was looking at you.

_**"You're lying. Probably they told you not to tell anyone or they'd do something bad. I understand it."**_ Jen whispered looking deeply into your eyes and you felt even more nervous. _**"Look into my eyes and blink once if the answer is no and blink twice if the answer is yes. I won't tell anybody, not even Darren. But now I'm involved on this too and we're together on this."**_ Jen whispered in your ear before looking into your eyes again.

You didn't know what to do; this wasn't part of your plan. You couldn't tell her that you were being threatened as well because then your bullies would make this worse; but at the same time they already threatened Jen and it made you feel really angry and worried. Maybe you and Jen were together on this, as she said. Without having a clear and sure answer, you blinked twice.

_**"I suspected it." **_Jen whispered with trembling voice. _**"We need to talk about it, but not here and not now. This place isn't safe for us. I'll tell you what they did to me and you'll tell me what they did to you and together we're gonna plan something to stop this."**_

_**"Please, don't tell anyone. They told me..."**_ You started whispering, really nervous. You still weren't sure if you could trust on her completely, maybe she could be one of the bullies and you didn't know it.

_**"I know what they told you, because they told me the same. You aren't supposed to tell anyone if you don't want your friends to end up hurt."**_ Jen whispered looking down anguished. _**"Darren doesn't know about this and I don't want him to know, you surely understand why."**_

_**"I do."**_ You whispered nodding. _**"For now, act as if you don't want to talk to me anymore. They don't have to see us together." **_

_**"Will do."**_ Jen whispered with trembling voice. **_"I'm scared, Freckles."_** Jen whispered desperate with teary eyes.

_**"Me too."**_ You answered looking down. _**"But I won't..."**_

_**"Hi Freckles, it's nice to have you back."**_ Darren suddenly interrupted you, smiling warmly.

You glanced at Jen and she glanced at you in a sort of agreement. Neither of you would say something, or at least that was what you hoped. Yet you couldn't trust on her completely. What if this was part of that macabre plan of your bullies? What if this was a trap? You decided to trust her, but at the same time you started planning in your mind something else, just in case this was a trap. This could be a game full of lies, tricks and suspicion.

* * *

"_**Boring!"**_

"_**I'm wasting my precious time in this shit."**_

"_**Who cares about that crap?"**_

"_**How do you say I don't give a damn fuck in Spanish?"**_

Those were some of her comments during the Spanish class. I couldn't believe she was saying all that. The first time I met her in this class, she was the smartass who knew everything, who was sitting in the front of the class and who seemed to love this class. Now she was sitting in the last chair in a corner; she was slouching in her chair with one of her feet planted firmly on the desk, not paying attention at all. She didn't even pull out her notebook to take down notes. I couldn't stop staring at her; I was trying to find out what the hell could have happened to her to be like that. This was very weird and this person looked more like one of those stupid bullies. She was evidently having a lot of troubles and she was surely a mess. I wanted to find out what was going on with her, if I could help her somehow; but she seemed to want to distance, she didn't even look at me like other times. Why was I worrying about her anyway? Maybe it was because I felt as if I needed to thank her for having helped me the day of the fight. But I couldn't do that much if she was acting like a berk; and I didn't know her that much to keep trying it. But then I remembered that conversation she had with Jen minutes earlier. She and Jen had a secret and I was sure about it when Freckles said "Remember." Why would she say remember? Jen wouldn't tell me anything because I knew her very well, and when she was like that it was better to shut up and not insist. But I could try to find the way to get a word from Freckles. And I knew how I could do it; if I was good at something, it was to be charming with a girl. How? With music. At the end of the day, I was going to find out what was going on with Jen and Freckles. But during the Spanish class, I saw an almost imperceptible glance from her directed to me that made me worry about her. She surely didn't realize that I noticed it because it was very furtive, but I did. She was scared and it was the first real attitude from her that I saw that day. What was this I was feeling? Again, I didn't know; I just felt as if I couldn't let her like that. Damn, I needed to stop looking at her because I was feeling even more this weird feeling in my chest.

_**"Darren, focus on the class."**_ I said to myself reproachfully.

The rest of the class I looked at Mr. Rhodes, but I couldn't focus anyway. At the end of the class, Freckles stood up quickly to leave, but then I stopped her in a very sly and silly way. I knew if I stopped her by taking her by the arm or yelling at her, she wouldn't stop. But in this way I could gain her attention unexpectedly and no one would suspect anything.

_**"You dropped your pen."**_ I said quietly showing her my own pen. Of course she turned around and stopped abruptly. She seemed to be wondering when she pulled out her pen and I took advantage to walk towards her, still with the pen in my hand.

_**"That's not my pen."**_ She finally said upset and she attempted to go away again.

_**"Your name is in it."**_ I said shrugging trying to sound disinterested. I knew I'd stop her with that because the first day I met her in this same classroom, I noticed she had all her stuff with her name written on a label.

_**"Fine, give it to me."**_ She said upset walking towards me. I waited until there was no one in the classroom to take advantage to run to the door and close it. She looked at me disturbed and then she looked around nervously.

_**"We're alone now."**_ I said looking deeply into her eyes and standing between the door and her.

_**"What are you doing? Let me go."**_ She said kind of annoyed, trying to reach the door handle.

I took advantage to take her by her waist. Why did I do that? I wasn't planning to do it, I just did it and I didn't know why. I just felt really weird but anyway I kept my hands in her waist. She tried to step back, but I pulled her closer and I leaned over to whisper something in her ear.

_**"I want to talk to you."**_ I whispered and I didn't know why the hell it sounded more like flirting than a secret. Damn it.

_**"We're talking now. Let me go."**_ She said annoyed, looking harshly into my eyes but with a twinkle in them.

_**"No, I mean... I want to talk to you in private, not here."**_ I said looking into her eyes. Wow, she had captivating eyes. Fuck, Darren! What are you thinking? Focus on your plan. _**"After school, I'll follow you and when we get away from here, I'll tell you where we'll go to talk in private."**_

_**"I won't..."**_ She started to complain annoyed, but I interrupted her.

_**"See you later, Freckles."**_


	4. Somewhere only we know

A/N: Here it is, guys, the next chapter! I just wanted to thank you honestly for all of your reviews! Just wow guys. You never fail to make me feel thrilled by your words and I appreciate your continued support and encouragement! You guys, just thank you a lot! I wasn't so sure about this story, but now I really enjoy writing it, even though sometimes it's hard to write in 1st and 3rd person at the same time! I already noticed a few mistakes on my writing about it and I apologize! Now I'll just let you read this new chapter of Teenage Dream! Hope you like it! :)

* * *

**TEENAGE DREAM - PART 4 – Somewhere only we know.**

* * *

_**"Can you stop following me?" **_

Darren was following you since you left school and you couldn't believe he was serious when he said that, you thought he was kidding you; but you were now ten blocks away from school and Darren was still behind you. While you were walking, you couldn't stop looking around to check if someone was watching you on the sly, because after Darren closed the door of the classroom, the same unknown number sent you a text message.

**"Things would get really bad if that stupid guy follows you. We're gonna be watching you. -W-"**

You didn't want to treat him in a rough way, but you had to because in any other way he wouldn't stop walking behind you. You really wanted to talk to him and more after the way he talked to you in the classroom, he made you felt weird, he was very close to you and you could barely hold your new and fake attitude. But you were more scared of what they could do to him than what they could do to you, so you needed to be as rough as you could be. And you still had that feeling of someone watching you.

_**"I can, but I don't want."**_ Darren answered shrugging and then he walked to your side.

_**"Get out of here."**_ You said harshly and then you kept walking without looking at him, but he walked to your side again.

_**"And why would I do that?" **_

_**"Because I don't want a fucking stalker to follow me."**_ You said trying to sound cold and furious.

_**"Oh, come on! That's so lame! I know you can give me a better reason. Shoot!" **_He joked, laughing with his usual cheerfulness.

_**"Fuck off. Why don't you go to fuck someone instead trying to screw my mood? I'm sure it'd be more interesting."**_ You said rolling your eyes and sounding really bad-mannered. You couldn't believe those words came out from your mouth, you never said rude and gross things like that. He only looked at you with eyes wide open and raising his eyebrows in surprise.

_**"I can get laid with you, and then I can kill two birds with one stone."**_ He said after a while, looking at you mischievously but amused. You just looked at him stunned. Was he really saying that? Well, you haven't expected that kind of answer, now you didn't know how to answer that. _**"I'm just kidding."**_

_**"Screw you, you asshole."**_ You said trying to sound grumpy, but actually you were kind of amazed by his quirky sense of humor. _**"Excuse me, but I don't talk to assholes."**_

_**"Oh, now you don't talk to assholes. And man! I'm an asshole! Good to know."**_ He exclaimed kind of sarcastic. You knew that now you were making him feel bad, maybe that was his weak spot and from that you needed to try to keep him away from you.

_**"Yes, it's great! Now fuck off and celebrate it with all your retarded and assholes friends. Then tell me how it was the party of the assholes."**_ You said coldly and really harshly, trying to sound nasty. And you got it. You covertly looked around, nervous and kind of sad to see if that person who was watching you noticed the way you treated him.

_**"You're pathetic."**_ Darren said shaking his head disgusted. _**"Maybe that's the reason why no one stands you; because you're a stupid girl who tries to seem someone else and doesn't care about anything but her own shit. For a ridiculous moment I thought you were different, I thought I could give it a chance to really get to know how you are. But you aren't any different from those bullies; you deserve all that is happening to you. You're gonna be forever alone and that's exactly what a pathetic and idiot person like you deserves."**_ Darren yelled angry.

Well, you deserved those words from Darren considering the way you treated him, but his words were really hurtful anyway. It was very hurtful to hear that no one could stand you; but the most hurtful was to hear that you deserved all that was happening to you. He was surely thinking you were a terrible kind of person to have said that about you. You couldn't understand why you were feeling this down if after all you got what you wanted: to keep him away from you. For some reason you thought that Darren and Jen could have been the only true friends you had, even though you didn't know them too much, it was just a matter of a feeling; so it was hard to say all the things you were saying and it was hard to hear what Darren said.

"_**Whatever."**_ You answered trying to sound indifferent, but you failed a bit because your voice cracked.

_**"You know, idiot?"**_ Darren said still mad and he walked closer to you.

You were looking fixedly at him, still trying to seem indifferent, but he was very close and you were feeling like crap. When Darren was really close to you, he looked deeply into your eyes and then he winked and smiled faintly. He winked? It was really fast. Darren put something in your pocket on the sly and then he stepped back, now looking at you angry.

_**"I'm wasting my time being here and more talking to you. Why the hell am I doing this? It's more than obvious that you're a freak and loser. Damn, what the hell was in my mind?"**_ He yelled again angrily and you were more confused than ever.

_**"Well, you're making me waste my time, so why don't you go with your assholes friends and leave me the fuck alone?"**_ You yelled back, also angrily and grumpy. _**"I don't want you near me anymore." **_

_**"Don't worry; I'm a guy who learns fast. Spending time with you is a complete waste of time, so fuck it."**_ Darren said nastily and then he turned around and walked away from you.

There you stood; looking at the boy you loved since a long time ago, walking away from you once you had the chance to be his friend. You wondered why life had to be so unfair sometimes, why it had to be so sad sometimes, why you were so powerless in certain situations sometimes. A tear streamed down your face before you could hold it back. What were you doing? Was this the right thing to do? You didn't know, but you also didn't know what else to do. Your phone buzzed.

"**I'm amazed, bitch. You did a good job there. Now the stupid guy is out, let's see who's next. If you're still causing problems, the consequences will be more severe. You wouldn't want more victims in this game, would you? -W-"**

The bully was there, right there, watching you and watching all that happened minutes before. That person was harassing you everywhere and this was really out of control.

_**"What do you want?"**_ You yelled in the silent and quiet street, very upset and desperate but trying to sound rude. Of course, you didn't get any kind of answer.

"**Calm down, bitch. Soon you'll find it out, but meanwhile we'll enjoy your slow and fascinating destruction. -W-"**

"_**Go ahead, I'm not scared of you, moron." **_You yelled madly again in the quiet street, looking around to try to find out where this person or people were; but you didn't find any clue.

You didn't get any answer, not even a text message, so you just walked to your house as fast as you could. Once you arrived there, you felt safe. There no one would be able to harass you; there no one would be able to watch you. As usual, no one was at home; your parents were still at work and your sister was surely with her stupid friends. You walked to your bedroom and closed the door behind you. You lay down in bed and then you started to shed all the tears you were holding back; tears of fear, sadness and frustration. You cried your eyes out until you fell asleep. It wasn't until four hours later that you woke up with your eyes swollen and with a headache; but you still remained lying in bed, looking at the ceiling of your bedroom with a blankly stare. It wasn't until minutes later that you remembered that Darren Criss put something in your pocket. Quickly, you looked for it, it was a handwritten note.

**"Meet me at 8pm in Marin Headlands. We really need to talk, Freckles."**

* * *

People could say whatever they wanted, but I wasn't stupid. I knew that something eerie was happening and I knew it as soon as I saw Freckles's face when we were in the classroom. She couldn't stop looking around as if she was scared of being with me, she was kind of edgy. So, I spent the rest of the day thinking how I'd find out this thing that was spinning on my head. I didn't see Freckles in the rest of the day, because of course, she was only a Junior and she had a different schedule. But I did see Jen in the Rock & Roll Club.

_**"Jenny!"**_ I said hugging her by her back.

_**"Darren, someday you're gonna get punched in your face for this."**_ Jen said turning around, still startled for the unexpected hug.

I just laughed because I knew she hated when I did it; not because of the fact I hugged her, but because she never knew who was the one who was hugging her. However, Jen didn't laugh as usual; she only sat on the nearest chair, waiting for more people to arrive. I sat next to her and I looked fixedly into her eyes while she was trying to avoid my gaze.

_**"Are you gonna act this odd all day long or are you gonna tell me what the hell is going on?"**_ I finally asked.

_**"Nothing is going on."**_ Jen answered looking away.

_**"Nothing my ass! Jen, I'm your best friend since our Freshman year. Do you really think I'm gonna believe that nothing is going on?"**_ I asked quietly still looking at her, but she still was looking around, now getting nervous.

_**"Well, you should."**_ Jen answered coldly and bad tempered.

_**"Now you don't trust me anymore or what?" **_

_**"It's not that, Darren. It's just that nothing is going on. I just had a bad day."**_ Jen huffed looking at her lap.

_**"Bad day? Is that so?" **_

_**"Is that so."**_ Jen answered curtly and then she grabbed her notebook to keep her hands busy. Her hands were trembling, she was lying. Oh yeah, I knew her that much.

_**"May I know why?"**_ I asked playing dumb.

_**"Math. My homework was a disaster and now I know I have no chances to do well the exam, therefore I won't get a scholarship for college."**_ Jen huffed complaining, but her hands were still trembling.

_**"You're a crack in math. How come you did it wrong?"**_ I asked pretending to be curious only because I wanted to get the truth.

_**"I don't know Darren. Maybe I was good at it before, now I'm just a failure. I blame it on the teacher."**_ Jen said shrugging.

_**"I thought you had the same teacher than last year, who adores you. And haven't you told me the other day that you are going to the math competition?"**_ I asked knowing that I was hitting the bulls eye. Surely Jen didn't remember that she already told me that.

_**"Yeah... well, it was before the last homework."**_ Jen answered nervous and blushing.

_**"Oh, I see. It sucks." **_I said shaking my head.

_**"Yes, it really sucks."**_ Jen answered looking at her lap and playing nervously with her notebook.

_**"Now, the truth is...?"**_ I asked looking at her and then, finally, she looked up to me nervous.

_**"I just told you the truth."**_ Jen answered frowning and blushing hard.

_**"Then tell your hands to stop trembling as they always do when you're lying and tell your face to stop reflecting nervousness."**_ I said shrugging and looking deeply into her eyes. That was it, when both of us were looking into each other's eyes; there was no way that any of us could tell a lie.

_**"Fine, I give up. My homework was perfect, my teacher adores me, and I'm still going to the competition. But I can't tell you what's going on because it's something personal."**_ Jen said placing her notebook away and I smiled triumphant.

_**"We have no secrets, Jen."**_ I said still smiling.

_**"I'm on my period, okay?"**_ Jen huffed moody and then she looked away, still nervous.

_**"The bad times are flowing just as your fluids, eh?"**_ I laughed because of Jen's answer while Jen looked at me with a disgusted expression. _**"But your hands are still trembling. As far as I know, the menstrual cycle doesn't have that effect on you."**_

_**"Oh Darren, you're disgusting. Remind me that I don't have to tell you how it feels to be on a period anymore."**_ Jen protested grumpy, crossing her arms.

I was about to answer her with a joke when suddenly I heard a woman's voice behind me; a voice that made me feel super wee.

_**"Darren, right?"**_ The woman's voice said and I abruptly turned around.

There was the stunning cheerleader girl. Damn, she remembered my name and she was talking to me, she was looking at me, man! This was insane! I think in that moment I lost my ability to talk.

_**"Yeah, it's me."**_ I babbled like an idiot, but she only smiled wonderfully. Oh gosh, this girl was going to kill me.

_**"I finally found you!"**_ She said smiling like, I don't know, like an angel.

I couldn't stop looking at her like bewitched. Her lips were perfect. And then she placed her hand on my shoulder. Consequence: Hormones explosion. Oh man, nobody had that effect on me before and I was going insane. I really needed to focus on another thing or my friend down there was going to betray me.

_**"She's only talking to me, she's only being friendly, behave Darren."**_ I thought in my mind trying to focus on her eyes and trying not to feel her touching.

_**"I only wanted to let you know that tomorrow the club is going to meet in Contraband Coffee Bar at 4pm. They have a really tasty coffee and it's gonna be great."**_ The cheerleader said smiling brightly.

So then we were going to meet outside school, which was fabulous. Yes, that was the best thing that happened to me after the last crappy weeks. I was going to be with this girl outside school. Well, it wasn't a date, I was aware of it; but screw it, I was going to go to a coffee shop with the girl that drove me insane. And the fact of knowing that she was exclusively looking for me to tell me that, made me feel really good.

_**"Well, that's amazing."**_ I said smiling like a goober. But whatever, I was happy, man. _**"Thank you for telling me...Umm..."**_

_**"Amanda."**_ The cheerleader said grinning.

_**"Amanda. Beautiful name, yes, of course you'd have a beautiful name."**_ I said before I could actually realize that I was saying it out loud. Fuck. Hold on, was I blushing? Me?

_**"Actually it's not."**_ Amanda said laughing with her glorious laughter. _**"Call me Mandy, please." **_

_**"Mandy. Hey, like the song by Barry Manilow!"**_ I exclaimed. Could I just stop making a fool of myself?

_**"Yes, like the song."**_ She said giggling adorably. _**"Well Darren, I hope to see you there. Now I have to go to class. See you later!"**_

What happened next made me goosebumps. She kissed my cheek! She kissed my cheek and everything started spinning. I was so screwed. And then she left before I could say anything. When I remembered she was single now, happiness ran through my entire body. Now, I could have a chance with her; it wasn't like the first day of school when I thought I had no chances. Jen, next to me, laughed out loud.

_**"If you're going to meet her tomorrow, you really have to work on containing your goofy face while looking at her."**_ Jen said laughing amused.

_**"Shut up, Jen."**_ I said pretending to be upset, but I really couldn't be grumpy now.

The rest of the day in school was great. I couldn't stop smiling like a dork. But when the last class was finishing, I remembered I had to talk to Freckles and Jen to find out what was going on, and that was probably more important than any other girl. Both Jen and Freckles were nervous when I asked them what was going on, they seemed to be worried if someone was looking at them. And well, sometimes I can be very sharp-eyed and clever. Judging by the way they were acting, I drew my own conclusions: They were sharing a secret and they didn't want that a certain person could get to hear them. If this was a kind of secret, then I had to act secretly. It could be interesting. Before the last class finished, and before following Freckles as I said I would do; I wrote a note.

**"Meet me at 8pm in Marin Headlands. We really need to talk, Freckles."**

Perfect lonely place to talk about secrets. I knew I wouldn't get any kind of answer if I tried to talk to her in a public place during the day; so this idea could work. When I followed her, I talked to her and she told me a lot of rude things but still being nervous and looking around, I knew this was the best I could have done. Then I corroborated it when suddenly I noticed a hint of apologize and sadness in her eyes for a matter of a second. There was something really bad happening and I just needed to know as the curious person as I was.

So there I was, in Marin Headlands at 8pm. I got a perfect place to sit leaning against a tree with perfect eyesight to the Golden Gate Bridge. It was kind of cold and she wasn't coming. Maybe my plan wasn't as great as I thought it was; maybe she really didn't want to talk to me anymore and I made up things in my mind by thinking that the reason was that she didn't want to talk to me because she didn't want anyone to hear her. Or maybe I was thinking too much now. It was 9pm and she hasn't arrived. But then I saw a shadow walking towards me. It was her, but she wasn't dressed as earlier, and she wasn't dressed as she used to dress before the fight with Brian and Jim; she was dressed in a very natural way. Maybe that was the way she used to dress up when she was alone, and it was the most suitable look for her. She was wearing a pair of shredded jeans and a boat neck black and white striped shirt, with a black beret. If I didn't know her, I'd think she was French. She looked really nice and before this day I never noticed she was actually a pretty girl, who resembled to someone I knew, but I couldn't find out to who. When she was close and I could see her face clearly, I smiled at her.

_**"For a moment I thought you wouldn't come."**_

* * *

While you were going to Marin Headlands, you started to think that maybe it wasn't a good idea. But now you couldn't go back because Darren saw you. You really had no idea what he wanted to talk about and why he was so insistent. However, if he wanted to talk about something private, this was a good place at this time, because no one was around; maybe that was the main reason why you went there. It was a place where you could be safe, away from all the bullying you had to suffer during the day in school. It was so dark that it was kind of scary, but at this point nothing could be scarier than what you had to live every day. When you were close to him, he looked at you in an uncanny way and he was grinning. Of course you were kind of nervous because you were in a lonely and dark place with the guy you adored in secret.

_**"For a moment I thought you wouldn't come."**_ He said still looking at you from head to toe.

_**"Well, I came."**_ You answered still standing next to him.

_**"Come on, sit down over here."**_ He said politely making room for you to sit next to him against the tree.

You sat next to him and then you looked to the Golden Gate Bridge for a while, it was the perfect eyesight. After contemplating the view, you finally turned your glance to Darren, who was still looking at you in an uncanny way and smiling kindly. Why was he smiling at you kindly after all you said to him earlier?

_**"What? Why are you looking at me like that?"**_ You asked curiously, frowning.

_**"I don't know."**_ Darren shrugged still smiling with his beautiful smile. The moonlight was illuminating dimly his face and his face looked even more flawless. _**"You look weird."**_

_**"Oh, do you say it because of the way I'm dressed?" **_You asked now blushing a bit because, even though being dressed like this was normal to you, he never saw you like this. Fortunately it was dark and he couldn't notice it. _**"It's the way I dress up when I'm at home alone."**_

_**"I thought so."**_ He said smiling still looking at you in the same way.

_**"Yes, I look like an idiot."**_ You said looking away again.

_**"Not at all. You look beautiful."**_ Darren said grinning and you looked at him amazed. You couldn't believe that he said that, something you heard only in your dreams. _**"I don't know why you don't dress up like that daily. You look comfortable and just like you. A lot of guys would fall for you."**_

_**"Yes, sure."**_ You said sarcastically. He must be kidding you, everybody hated you. How would it be possible that someone could fall for you? Nobody ever fell for you.

_**"Hey, look at me."**_ Darren said looking deeply into your eyes, holding your hand. Feeling his touch and looking his big hazel eyes was amazing and your body started trembling, you couldn't help it, he had that effect on you. _**"I'm serious this time."**_

_**"Yes, whatever."**_ You said harshly, pulling your hand away from him.

You needed to remember that you were there because Darren wanted to talk about something and it was surely about why you were being like this now, not about your romantic fantasies with him. So, feeling his touch wasn't going to help.

"_**I have an hour. What do you want to talk about?"**_ You asked coldly looking at the Golden Gate Bridge.

"_**I think we both know what about. I'm just waiting for someone else."**_ Darren said now also looking at the Golden Gate Bridge.

"_**What? I thought nobody else was going to come. I won't talk with someone else here, I'm sorry."**_ You said a bit upset and standing up.

Darren took your hand to stop you and you looked at him still upset. But when you looked into his eyes, you couldn't be upset any longer. He was looking at you gently and pleadingly, in some way it was kind of reassuring.

_**"Please, don't go." **_He said softly. _**"Sit next to me again. This person I'm waiting for isn't a bad person. I swear that my intention is not to hurt you."**_

_**"So what's your intention? Because I can't tell anymore what people want or not. I can't trust anyone. Sorry."**_ You said frustrated. That was it; you couldn't contain your real feelings in front of him.

_**"Once I told you that you've got a friend in me. I don't retract that."**_ Darren said still looking into your eyes and there was something in his eyes, something that somehow made you trust him. _**"I only want to help you."**_

_**"I don't need help. Do you think I can be weak after what happened? Do you think I can't face this by myself? I don't need anyone to feel pity for me."**_ You said coldly looking away. You couldn't let anyone know that actually you did need help.

_**"I feel no pity for you."**_ Darren said frowning. _**"But I do realize that you aren't going through a good time and I wouldn't be idly knowing that maybe I can do something about it, like any friend would do. Because, let's face it, we both know that you have a problem."**_

_**"What are you talking about? What makes you think I have a problem? Are you trying to say that I'm mentally insane?"**_ You almost yelled now really angry. _**"Anyway, you should get on your own business. I don't know why you say we're friends if you don't know a shit about me, and I don't know a shit about you. Just because we talked a few times it doesn't mean we are friends."**_

You were really mad and you barely could realize what you were saying. He couldn't just state that you had a problem, because he had no idea. When you looked at him, you realized that you overreacted and that you treated him in a really bad way; he didn't deserve it. He was looking at you frowning and it seemed that your words hurt his feelings.

_**"I don't think you're mentally insane. I only said that you have a problem, a big one, just because of the rough situation you're going through; as I have my own problems and as anybody else has their own problems since we're human beings." **_Darren said still with his smooth voice and still holding your hand. _**"And you're right. We can't be friends because we don't know a shit about each other as you said. But we can start knowing each other now. We have time."**_

_**"Why are you doing this?"**_ You asked suspiciously.

_**"Because I know how it feels to be alone when you need someone."**_ Darren answered smiling sadly, still looking into your eyes with honesty.

Well, that got your attention. You never imagined he could answer something like that. You hesitated for a while and then you sat next to him again in silence. Even though you still couldn't trust him completely, there was honesty in his eyes. Now there was a gloomy climax between you both. He was still holding your hand and this time you didn't do anything to avoid it.

_**"When I was a kid, I didn't have any friends. They called me the freak boy. No one really wanted to be near me, because, I don't know. What kind of kid would rather to spend the day playing Disney songs than playing the ring toss? What kind of kid would rather to be an actor and musician than a superhero?"**_ Darren laughed softly but sadly.

You couldn't believe he was telling you something of his past that seemed to be something really private. You were now getting to know more about this mysterious and stunning guy. You were looking at him deeply and listening to him intently, while he was just looking at his lap.

"_**Anyway, my mom started to worry about me; because she couldn't understand why Chuck, my bro, had a lot of friends and I didn't have any. She started to think that she was doing something wrong, because she insisted to make me learn how to play violin and I was obsessed with it, instead doing what children are used to do."**_ Darren kept talking with a gloomy voice. He was showing his human side; he was showing he wasn't perfect as you thought. But his not perfection was making you fall for him even more. _**"Then it was the time when arguments came to happen at home. It was a really sad time for me and all my family. Fortunately, the love that bonded us was stronger than those arguments. I didn't know with whom I could share this that was happening to me and my family, but I needed to tell someone to feel better. I was holding so many feelings."**_

Somehow, his situation was similar than yours. You couldn't be fine with your family and you had no friends; you needed to talk to someone, you needed someone to lean on; but no one was there. You wondered how he could be the person he was now, full of friends and cheerfulness, while you couldn't get it.

_**"That was in elementary school. I never felt happier to have finished it. Unlike you, I couldn't be that strong, to keep my head held high and ignore the stupid comments. And fortunately I found Jen, Claire, Dean and Karen in high school; who accepted me for who I am. You know some of them; Jen of course, and you met Dean and Claire in the drama class, I don't think you know Karen, though. Anyway, then I found the help I always needed, then I wasn't alone and I understood the importance of friendship."**_ Darren said now looking into your eyes and now taking both of your hands in his. _**"This is why I'm doing this. Because you remind me of myself at some point. And I honestly think you're a cool person from the little I know about you."**_ Darren said smiling kindly.

"_**But you don't have to do this."**_ You said looking down.

You didn't know what else you could say, he left you speechless. He was sharing one of his secrets with you, but you still couldn't trust him; you wanted to, but you couldn't. Not after all that was happening to you, not after you had no idea who "W" could be. Maybe it could be him, and because he was an actor he could pretend to be the guy he was being with you now.

"_**True. But I want to."**_ He said smiling and looking at you deeply. His eyes were like piercing your soul.

"_**I'm sorry but I can't trust you."**_ You said kind of disappointed, not in him but in yourself.

Those bullies did it to you, they were destroying you little by little and in a way that didn't allow you to realize they were actually doing it. In the blink of an eye, you were completely alone: Peter and Alexandra weren't your friends anymore; your family didn't care about you too much because they were busy with themselves; and Darren and Jen couldn't be near you or those bullies were going to hurt them, and they already started with Jen. Those bullies made you change your personality, they turned you into a person you weren't and maybe being this rude and dressing up like a heavy metal girl was what they wanted and not what you planned; maybe they had planned you to do this making you think that you were planning it. And those bullies wanted to make you feel that you couldn't trust anyone, because anybody could be "W", because you had no clue, because they were clever and cautious in this kind of macabre game. They were good and you were screwed. How could you plan something if they messed up with your mind and integrity?

"_**I know you can't trust me and I know it's hard to trust someone after all the shit that comes to happen to us. It was hard for me, but here I am now. I have four amazing friends because I let myself trust them even though I was scared like hell. Sooner or later it'll come the time you'll trust someone, maybe that someone it's not gonna be me; but you'll find that person. Meanwhile, I'd be glad if that person can be me."**_ Darren said sweetly, as if he really cared about you.

"_**I don't know what to say…"**_ You stared saying feeling bad because even though he was being sweet and caring, you still couldn't trust him. You were struggling with what your heart was telling you, to trust him; and what your mind was telling you, that you shouldn't trust him.

"_**Don't say anything."**_ He said shrugging and smiling, as if it didn't matter that you couldn't say anything, as if he didn't care if you couldn't trust him yet, he was going to still be there. _**"I came here with a purpose: To find out what was going on with you and Jen. But I changed my mind; I won't push you to tell me anything. If someday you feel ready to tell me, then I'll be here to listen to you; and if that day doesn't come, well, it's not gonna change the fact that I'll be here if you need me."**_

"_**Thank you."**_ You said looking into his eyes, frankly thankful. You couldn't believe how he could be so understanding, maybe he wasn't a bad person; maybe with time you'd be able to trust him.

"_**Come with me, I have an idea."**_ Darren said smiling vividly, standing up and helping you to stand up, holding your hand.

What the hell was he doing? Where was he taking you? Why was he making you run? Why was he still holding your hand? What was his idea? Those were some of the questions that popped in your mind; while Darren was running, holding your hand, and taking you to somewhere for an unknown reason. He was laughing as though he was enjoying this and you couldn't understand why. You didn't even have the time to ask him what you were doing or to stop him. You decided to relax and find it out when the right time was. You ran a lot, now you were really away from where you were earlier and the hour you had to spend with him has already passed, but you didn't care. You were alone with him, nobody was bugging you, and he was laughing. That was priceless. You finally arrived at some place you haven't been before; it was a headland in the coastal trail away from the city itself. There were no buildings near, there were no paths, and there were no lighting; it was only the coast, the nature, and Darren and you. You were kind of scared because you couldn't see anything at all, it was very dark and the only sounds you could hear were the sound of the waves lapping against the rocks, the sounds of nocturnal animals and other nature sounds.

_**"Wait, Darren, wait! I'm gonna stumble and I'm gonna fall, I can't see anything."**_ You said with trembling voice after you got scared several times when you stumbled with little rocks.

_**"If you fall, I'm gonna hold you. Don't worry."**_ Darren said amused, still running.

_**"Darren, you're forgetting that I'm clumsy!"**_ Your scared voice echoed in the silence. _**"Darren, stop!"**_

And it happened. There was a big rock you didn't see and you stumbled. You started tumbling down the hill with Darren, who was holding your hand. You felt how all the rocks in the hill were hitting your face while Darren, inevitably, was hitting you with his body. You couldn't stop tumbling down until you ended up in the bay coast with Darren on top of you.

_**"Holy shit, I told you to stop!"**_ You moaned sore from the tumble. You were sure that your whole body was scraped and the weight of Darren's body on top of yours was really painful.

But Darren didn't moan, and he didn't attempt to move away from the top of you. He was just laughing out loud, an amused but a bit painful laugh. Why was he laughing? Both of you could have ended up in a really bad way considering the height from which you fell down. Besides, your clothes were ruined and torn, and you were wet because you fell in the water. He shouldn't be laughing, this wasn't funny.

_**"Oh my god! Why are you laughing?"**_ You asked grumpy.

_**"This was funny! This was really funny, I was scared like hell and we couldn't stop falling! Look at us, we're a disaster! We're two hopelessly clumsy people!" **_He answered still laughing out loud and still on top of you.

You looked at him in disbelief, but then you couldn't help laughing along with him. Even though your body was sore, this was actually funny, your clumsiness was funny. You couldn't remember the last time you laughed this naturally and more for a clumsy and odd situation like this. You laughed for a long time making fun of yourselves, until you stopped laughing gradually to then look into each other's eyes, he still on top of you and the water still soaking you. There was this moment when you got lost into his hazel eyes, when everything vanished around you to focus only on his stunning eyes. Your heart started beating faster because of your excitement and this thrilling feeling of having the guy you liked on top of you looking into your eyes. There was a moment when you wanted to kiss him, it was all you wanted, it was like a need you had. You had to contain this need and it was being really hard because you could even feel his breathing in your face. You had no idea for how long the two of you remained like that, but it was a long time because, without realizing, the tide was rising and it was almost covering your face. That was when the eye contact broke and you realized the way you were looking at him like an idiot in love; so then Darren quickly rolled on his back to stand up and take your hand to help you to stand up. But as soon as you stood up, he let out your hand and this time, he turned on his phone to illuminate the trail. He started walking in silence and you followed him, until you climbed the hill, a perfect place with view to the bay.

"_**Here, this place is awesome." **_Darren said and he lay down in the grass, looking at the dark sky. _**"Lie with me."**_ He said but you hesitated after what happened minutes earlier and the way you felt. _**"Come on, you won't regret."**_

_**"Okay."**_ You answered shyly and you lay down next to him, also looking at the dark sky.

Now you understood why he said that you weren't going to regret. The dark sky was very starry and the moon was huge. This was truly wonderful. You were away from the lights and noises of the city and you were now in place that was outstanding by its beauty that you barely could appreciate in the city. There was a peace in this place that was invaluable. It was precious and for some reason all your repressed feelings started flowing out there. You felt how Darren moved closer to you and he put an arm around you. You did nothing to avoid it because it felt good; it was different from what you felt minutes earlier, this time it was a feeling as if someone really cared about you and was there to support you. Without thinking, you rested your head on his shoulder, then both you and Darren were more comfortable now and now Darren wrapped both of his arms around you. It was a nice feeling because you were cold after being soaked by the water and his body against yours was warm; and it was nice because he was holding you in his arms.

_**"It's a splendid place, isn't it?"**_ Darren whispered smoothly.

_**"Yes, it really is."**_ You whispered still contemplating all the beauty around you.

_**"I used to come here whenever I was feeling down and I needed to be alone. No one knows about this place, except Jen and well, now you. It's like somewhere only we know."**_ Darren suddenly said. Was he sharing this secret place with you? That was absurd, but nice to know. _**"It's crazy the effect this place has. It's like suddenly everything is more peaceful and everything starts flowing. It's only you and your thoughts."**_

_**"Yes, I think it has the same effect on me."**_ You admitted, looking at the starry sky.

_**"May I ask you something?"**_ Darren asked now looking at you. You turned your sight to look at him and you simply nodded as an answer._** "But it has to be a secret between us, just like this place. And you have to answer honestly."**_

_**"Okay..."**_ You answered curious and a bit scared by what he could ask to have said it had to be a secret.

_**"What happened in your life that made you be like this? And I'm not talking about what's happening now with those bullies, I'm talking in general."**_

* * *

This girl was really puzzling. I just couldn't get which her real personality was, but this one seemed more real. It was weird because as much as I tried I couldn't stop looking at her because she was captivating me with this way she came here. I couldn't get why she had a low self-esteem if she was a pretty girl; she only had to go everywhere dressed like this, like just the way she was. I was sure that any guy would fall for her, but she didn't think the same. She was being reluctant when I was talking to her at first, it seemed as if every single thing I was saying was bothering her, as if I was screwing my chances to get to know what was going on with her and Jen. She even tried to go away when I told her I was waiting for someone, of course that was a lie, and I only wanted to know how she was going to react. And she reacted just as the way I expected; I needed to know it so I could check if my own conclusions were wrong or not. I was being right, she didn't want to talk about anything with anyone; and it reminded me of myself when I was in elementary school. Maybe she and I weren't so different at the end. I knew she wouldn't tell me anything, but now it was different, now I didn't mind so much if she was going to tell me or not. I felt weird in the moment when she was thinking that I tried to say she was mentally insane, because I really didn't mean it at all, but there was no way to make her see that. And I felt even weirder when she told me we weren't friends at all, as though her words hurt me at some point. I didn't know why, because I was aware we weren't friends, but a part of me really liked her; a part of me was feeling as if she was my twin only because I saw in her the way I used to be when I was a kid.

_**"Why are you doing this?"**_ She asked suspiciously after misunderstanding me.

I couldn't lie to her at this point. Somehow I had the need to tell her that she and I weren't so different, that I've been where she was now. I never told this to someone, except to Chuck and Jen; and I barely knew this girl, but she had that something.

_**"Because I know how it feels to be alone when you need someone." **_I answered smiling sadly.

I didn't know why I decided to tell her my past, I just felt as if she was going to understand me and maybe she could get any kind of help based on my mistakes and my past problems. When she sat next to me after hesitating, I held her hand more firmly. It was odd to be holding her hand, but it just felt proper. I told her it all and she listened to me very intently. I felt comfortable telling her that; it was different from the time I told Chuck and Jen; and it took me a long to tell them this, but with her it took me only few weeks. If this wasn't the meaning of eccentric and insane feeling, then I didn't know what it was. I knew she wouldn't trust me, I knew she was going to be still reluctant; but I only wanted to tell her that, to let her know that I understood her and how she may be feeling. I was dying to know how I could make her trust me, I didn't know why I was so eager to get it, but I just was. I totally forgot the real reason why I summoned her to come to this place. Then I came up with the idea to take her to that place I used to go when I needed to be alone, I knew that place was special and maybe it could be special for her too; maybe it could be the place where both of us could talk about anything in peace, away from those bullies and the shit that was happening in school. I never imagined that in our way we were going to tumble down, that I was going to end up on top of her, and that I was going to feel that way when I looked into her eyes. Man, her eyes were astounding, like I've never seen those kinds of eyes before; the bright of her eyes left me flabbergasted. And I still couldn't find out like whom she looked like. I felt attracted to her, like not in a friendly way. Why was I feeling attracted to her? Her lips were the same lips that once I've seen, but I couldn't remember where. Oh man, it was as if her lips were like a magnet to my lips. Damn, I needed to keep in mind who she was; she was only the girl I was trying to help, the girl I was trying to be friends with. But this feeling was stronger. Fortunately, the increased tide saved me. Her face was about to sink in the water, so I took advantage to broke the eye contact and stand up, scolding myself for feeling this way about her. I led her to the place I wanted to arrive in the first time, but this time I didn't want to hold her hand, not after the ridiculous way I felt for her. When I convinced her to lie down next to me, I noticed that this place had the same effect on her than on me. I noticed how she let herself be just the way she really was. I noticed sorrow and hopelessness in her eyes. That was the time I decided to wrap my arms around her and just hold her, as I needed when I was a kid; I knew she needed that. She didn't need to hear kind words, she needed to feel that someone cared about her and I wanted to prove her that I was the one. I wanted to hug her tightly, but I knew it wasn't proper; so I just closed my eyes to feel the warmth of her body leaning against mine.

_"What? Why am I doing that? Are you a douchebag, Darren? The fuck is going on with you."_ I thought in an irked way in my mind.

I just needed to think about something else, so I said the typical and stupid things that someone says when tries to avoid a feeling or a certain talk. Yeah, I started talking about how amazing this place was and blah, blah, blah. When I noticed this wasn't helping, I decided to ask her something that I always wondered. I had the feeling that this question wasn't going to end in a good way, but I needed to give it a try. I was curious to know more about this girl. So I just shot.

_**"What happened in your life that made you be like this? And I'm not talking about what's happening now with those bullies, I'm talking in general."**_

She looked at me disturbed as I thought, and then she returned her gaze to the starry sky. Dammit, I screwed it. Why did I have to be such a meddlesome? Anyway, she didn't move away from me and she still let me hug her. I needed to fix this blunder somehow, but I didn't know how. Right when I was having the chance to have a normal conversation with her, when I had the chance to get to know her more; I had to screw it.

_"Such a genius, Darren!"_ I thought in my mind annoyed. But then she started talking and it left me stunned.

_**"I don't know. It isn't a precise thing. It is just a collection of little bad events, I don't know if I'm explaining myself."**_ She started saying still looking at the starry sky. Her eyes were brighter than ever.

_**"Yes, you are."**_ I answered looking at her mindfully.

_**"It's really hard to explain because I tried to forget most of those events; so now I can barely tell what's true, what's my imagination and what's part of my subconscious. What I know is that whether those memories are real or not, it hurt me."**_ She said with gloomy but firmly voice. It was really curious what she was saying and I had to make an effort to understand her completely. _**"It's like when you accumulate bad feelings and memories and you try to forget them instead talking to someone, you're destroying yourself little by little without realizing it; until one day you wake up, you look in the mirror and you say to yourself: Why am I this kind of person? And there's no way back."**_

_**"And why haven't you talked to someone about what you were feeling?"**_ I asked softly. And my intention wasn't to be a meddler; my intention was to put myself in her shoes.

_**"Not because I didn't have someone to talk to, actually I used to have friends. But it was because they would think that I was worrying and feeling bad for stupid things. I've always despised what I felt because I always thought that it wasn't important. I mean, people daily suffer for big things, like the loss of someone loved, like rough situations as being raped or kidnapped, like really bad things. And none of that happened to me, my problems were little things. Then, why would those problems be important to people in this rough world we live?"**_ She said thoughtfully, she was really deep in her thoughts and I thought that she maybe forgot she was talking to me. _**"Thinking like that, you put your feelings away and you try to pretend you're fine because nothing serious happened to you, because it is unfair to feel sad while other people feel sad for serious things. And that's when you make your first mistake; that's the time when you start pretending to be or feel something very different from the real deal. And people don't love you when you're down. They always want to be with someone who is happy, because they don't want more problems than they already have. And because, let's face it, human beings always search for a source of happiness, so then we can avoid our feelings, so then we don't have to deal with the mess of another person. It's easier."**_

"_**But wait… Why haven't you tried to talk to them? Who knows, maybe they really cared about you. Why haven't you given it a try?"**_ I asked curious, trying to understand why she never told anyone what she was feeling.

_**"No, don't misunderstand me. I tried to talk to them. Once I told them the bad situation we were living at home, they pretended to be interested in my situation and how I was feeling at first; I felt good telling them. But then they forgot about it, I knew it because when I wanted to tell them a new bad thing that happened in my family, they didn't know what I was talking about. And they made fun of my problems, they always said that I was overreacting and I was making up things in my mind. They really didn't care too much about how I was feeling; they only talked about themselves, about superficial things like what they would do in the weekend or what they would wear for the next party. Then, why would I bug them with my problems if they didn't care?"**_ She asked frowning and then she started playing with her fingers. _**"Actually it wasn't that I didn't want to bother them; truth is I'm kind of prideful and they hurt my proud and feelings. I wasn't alone, but I was alone; I don't know if you understand what I mean."**_

_**"I do. They were there pretending to be your friends, but actually they weren't being your friends." **_I said also thoughtful and caressing her arm with my thumb. _**"You didn't have anyone to share your deepest feelings and that's why you accumulated your feelings which destroyed you little by little as you said."**_ I drew my own conclusion based on what she was saying. I didn't realize I was saying it out loud.

_**"Exactly like that."**_ She said anguished still playing with her fingers.

_**"But how did you do it? I mean, no one can hold back their feelings for so long."**_ I asked still not understanding downright.

_**"Well, I had my very own technique."**_ She answered now nervous for the first time in this talk.

_**"Which one?"**_ I insisted.

_**"It's really stupid. I... no, I'm ashamed of it, you're gonna think I'm totally insane."**_ She answered even more nervous and playing edgily with her fingers.

_**"Hey..."**_ I said looking at her comprehensively while caressing her smooth long hair. _**"I won't judge you."**_

_**"I had this imaginary friend. Well, it's not like I had that imaginary friend that I thought it was real. I pretended to have someone to talk to about my problems, someone who always was willing to listen to me, who really cared about me; someone that didn't exist, and I was aware of it. I just needed to pretend there was someone."**_ She said jittery with choked voice. If I could see her face under the sunlight, I would surely notice she was blushing. _**"It was my pillow; my pillow was my adviser and my way out of my mess. A damn pillow." **_She laughed kind of sad.

_**"I've done it. I declare myself part of the people who released feelings and secrets in a pillow."**_ I laughed softly when I remembered all the times I've done it. She looked at me surprised, raising her eyebrows.

_**"Have you?"**_ She asked in disbelief.

_**"Of course."**_ I affirmed. And she was the very first person to whom I confessed this. It was always a secret for me because, like her, I was ashamed to admit it; but with her I felt comfortable admitting this. _**"Pillows know it all. Our problems, secrets, dreams, concerns, happiness; summing up, everything."**_

_**"I can't believe it."**_ She said shaking her head, now feeling more relaxed.

_**"You see, we aren't so different."**_ I said shrugging and smiling at her. _**"But, what are some of those problems that destroyed you little by little as you said?"**_

_**"A lot. It's really a long story and I'd have to tell you my whole life if you want to understand me."**_ She said sighing as if she was tired.

_**"You know, I have time."**_ I insisted in a kind way.

_**"Yeah, I know. But if we keep being here we're gonna freeze. Maybe another time I'd tell you, if you still want to know."**_ She answered smiling softly, looking at me with her bright eyes and with something new in her eyes: hope.

_**"We can go anywhere else if you want, so then you can tell me now." **_

_**"No. This is the only place where I can feel safe."**_ She refused quickly.

_**"Then I know a way we can warm up to remain in this place."**_ I said half joking and half flirting. Why did I have to flirt with her? Hopefully she didn't notice it.

_**"What? Do you have a quilt?"**_ She joked kind of amused. Yeah, she didn't notice it; maybe she wasn't used at people flirting with her.

_**"No..."**_ I grinned mischievously. _**"I'm surprised that a person who's a crack in all the subjects can't figure out the way."**_

_**"What's in your..."**_She started asking suspiciously, but I didn't let her finish.

I pounced on her and I started tickling her. I was really fast so she couldn't do anything but laughing uncontrollably and trying to pull me away desperately. I started laughing along with her by the way she was making her best effort to pull me away but she was failing constantly. And then she got it. She kicked my leg which with I was holding my own weight and she made me fall on top of her. This time she was faster than me and she took my arms and wrapped her legs around me to prevent me from moving. Now I was her hostage. Crap, this position was really weird and I couldn't avoid those teenage hormones. Dammit, dammit! I needed to move away as fast as I could if I didn't want something inopportune to happen. But then I looked at her face and everything went to hell. She was giggling amused and brightly, as I've never seen her before; she was being truly vivid and I could notice all her splendor. She was actually unduly beautiful; but she wasn't beautiful like the other girls who were sexy and sensual, she had other kind of beauty. She resembled to a Disney princess, like her beauty was her kindness and sympathy. And her eyes, her eyes were killing me. Once again I felt as if her lips were like a magnet to mine. I couldn't help it, I couldn't even think, I was just carrying away by her beauty. I leaned my head and I nuzzled her nose softly with mine. My lips were very close to hers and I could no longer hold this need to kiss her. My hormones were exploding, more than that time when the cheerleader touched me. I was about to kiss her, I was only five inches from her lips and I was blinded.

_**"Darren?"**_ I heard a voice in the distance.

She quickly pulled me away and sat in the grass while I just remained kneeled, with all my hormones in their highest point, breathing fast not to say I was panting. I couldn't believe I was about to kiss her. What the hell was I thinking? But I couldn't avoid that need, that feeling. Why the hell did I feel that for her? I didn't want to screw my new friendly relationship with her, but it seemed it was all I was doing.

_"Oh man, I'm so screwed. Damn my fucking teenage hormones. Remember she's only your friend; you're only trying to be her friend. Fuck Darren. Why can't you do this well?"_ I scolded myself in my mind.

I still couldn't get why I was so attracted to her in that moment. I never felt this for Jen, Claire or Karen; and I've been in this kind of situations with them before, but I never felt this attraction for them. Now that I wasn't so close to Freckles I realized I was about to make a big mistake. I never thought of her in an intimate way, I was just doing it because of the hormones. I really needed to control it. I was so deep in thought that I didn't see who the person who said my name was; I didn't realize that the person was now standing in front of me and Freckles. It was Jen. Jen? What was she doing here at this time? Anyway, I was thankful she was there because she prevented me from doing something stupid. But when I looked at her face, then I wasn't so thankful. She was looking at me in that way when she was mad at me, when she was about to scold me like a mom. Damn it.

_**"Darren, what's going on here?"**_ Jen asked strictly.


	5. About mistrust and fear

**Teenage Dream – Part 5 – About mistrust and fear.**

* * *

You couldn't believe what happened and less what was about to happen if Jen didn't appear. When you took Darren by his arms and you wrapped your legs around him, you never had the intention to kiss him or whatever. You only did it because he was tickling you and you wanted to stop him, because the tickling and you weren't good friends. You didn't know that Darren would react that way because he never showed you any kind of attraction for you. You never expected he could look at you the way he was doing, that he could lean his head to nuzzle your nose and that he could kiss you. It wasn't his fault, though. You were guilty at some point because you were the one who made both of you end up in that compromising situation, and because you didn't attempt to stop him. You were sure that he really didn't want to kiss you because he had feelings for you; it was surely because he was a man; and, if you do this to any man, they would do something like that, it's a nature rule. But anyway you couldn't stop picturing the way he was looking at you, no one before looked at you that way and for the very first time you felt wanted by someone. And it wasn't any random man, it was Darren. This only happened in your dreams and you couldn't believe it was happening in real life; so you couldn't stop him because your secret feelings for him were stronger. You were falling for him hard and you couldn't avoid it. Now he was uncomfortable avoiding your gaze and Jen was looking at you both in a severe way.

_**"Darren, what's going on here?"**_ Jen asked when she was close to you and Darren.

You looked at Jen and then you looked at Darren. He seemed to be thinking about something else and he still had that disturbed face. You wouldn't answer anything because Jen was asking him not you, and in any case you didn't know what to answer because not even you knew what was going on. Darren didn't answer and Jen huffed in annoyance.

_**"For god's sake, Darren! Answer me!"**_ Jen huffed exasperated.

_**"What, Jen?"**_ Darren asked annoyed and frowning, still kneeling on the grass.

_**"What's going on here?"**_ Jen asked again looking at him severely. Gosh, she was like a mother scolding her son.

_**"Nothing is going on here."**_ Darren complained bad tempered, now sitting in the grass with his arms crossed.

_**"Yes, sure."**_ Jen said sarcastically, rolling her eyes.

_**"Why are you here anyway?"**_ He asked still grumpy and frowning.

_**"Why not? Can't I be here anymore now?"**_ Jen asked also getting grumpy.

You were just there listening to them, trying not to make any sound and hoping that neither of them would ask you something. You never saw them arguing, if this was an argument. You really wanted to go home now.

_**"That's not what I said. I just wasn't expecting you to be here at this time." **_Darren said looking away.

_**"Well, I'm here."**_ Jen said crossing her arms and also looking around.

Then you remembered when Darren told you he was waiting for someone to come. Maybe that someone was Jen and maybe this sort of argument was planned; maybe this all was planned. What if Darren planned to kiss you to make fun of you? Because you had to admit that no one before wanted to kiss you since you were that loser girl. Why would Darren, an amazing and good looking guy, want to kiss you? You were a fool all this time. He was just playing with you and your feelings and you fell into his trap like an idiot. And you even told him one of your deepest thoughts and feelings. Why did you do it if you didn't even know if he was or not one of those bullies? Why did you have to be this idiot?

"_**What are you doing?"**_ Darren asked looking at you when you stood up. Then Jen also looked at you.

"_**It's late. I need to go home." **_You answered shyly, trying to go away from there as soon as you could.

"_**No, don't go."**_ Darren said serious and almost demanding.

_**"Excuse me?"**_ You asked in disbelief. _**"I'm not asking your permission. I'm just letting you know that I'm going, just in case you decide to check and I'm not there anymore." **_

You were being the same cold girl you were this morning, when you returned to school. Darren looked at you bewildered and frowning before standing up to walk towards you. Jen, meanwhile, was observing the situation.

_**"We still need to talk." **_Darren whispered so Jen couldn't hear; he was looking at you with worried eyes and he was kind of uncomfortable.

_**"We don't have anything to talk about." **_You said coldly looking away to avoid his eyes. He could always change your mind with his damn cute eyes.

_**"Please."**_ Darren whispered looking at you with a kind of look that seemed he was a puppy or something. Damn it. _**"What just happened..."**_

_**"I don't know what you're talking about. We were just staring the starry sky before Jen came here."**_ You interrupted him, playing dumb.

_**"Freckles, we both know what it was about to happen."**_ Darren whispered again, still nervous.

_**"Forget it, okay? As far as I remember we tumbled down and then we came here to stare the starry sky, then Jen came and now I'm going home." **_You said coldly, letting him know that whatever was going to happen it was something that both of you should forget.

_**"No...I can't...Just, don't go."**_ Darren babbled edgily.

_**"Okay, whatever you're talking about, I wanted to let you know that I'm leaving; because I obviously came here to be alone and I can't, so then bye, guys." **_Jen yelled from behind and Darren turned around to look at her.

_**"No Jen! Don't go!"**_ Darren yelled trying to stop her.

_**"Darren, you can't say anything but don't go?"**_ Jen asked frowning but sort of amused.

_**"Screw you, Jen!"**_ Darren yelled in a jokingly way. Well, they really had a quirky friendship. "_**Come here, don't go." **_

_**"Alright. Better you have a good reason."**_ Jen huffed walking to where you and Darren were.

_**"I really have to go. I guess I'll see you around."**_ You said quickly, trying to slip away.

_**"Oh no, no, no!"**_ Darren said quickly taking you by your arm to stop you.

_**"What, Darren?"**_ Jen asked curious.

_**"Let me go! I have to go!"**_ You exclaimed kind of upset, trying to pull your arm away from him.

_**"Darren, loose her arm or you're gonna hurt her."**_ Jen said looking at you both serious.

_**"Damn, I don't even know why I'm here."**_ You complained grumpy.

_**"I thought you both were having a good time there."**_ Jen giggled mockingly.

_**"Oh, please! We were just..."**_ You started complaining.

_**"Holy fuck!"**_ Darren suddenly yelled exasperated. _**"Could you two just shut up for a minute? Only for a damn minute? Dammit, it's the real hell to be with two chatty girls!" **_

Jen and you looked at Darren astonished, raising eyebrows. He was very fretful and impatient and it was really funny the way he was looking at you both. You and Jen couldn't help bursting of laughter.

_**"Fuck you, Darren."**_ Jen and you said in unison.

_**"Whatever! You are unbearable!"**_ Darren exclaimed still exasperated.

_**"The minute is coming to its end, Darren."**_ Jen mocked amused.

_**"Please, make it three hours instead a minute."**_ Darren exclaimed with eyes wide open.

_**"You're asking too much."**_ You said mockingly.

_**"It's like a challenge. If you get to be quiet for three hours, I'll take both of you out to dinner at a restaurant of your choice."**_ Darren said trying to convince you both.

_**"Deal."**_ Jen and you answered in unison again.

_**"Unbelievable what a man has to do!"**_ Darren said shaking his head. _**"Now, can the two of you please sit?"**_

Neither you nor Jen answered; instead you sat on the grass in silence and so did Darren. Now the three of you were looking at each other, Jen and you expectant to know why Darren wanted you to sit there.

_**"So, now that the two of you are here...May I know what's up with you two? And don't tell me 'nothing' because I'm not stupid."**_ Darren asked roundly.

Jen and you looked at each other kind of puzzled and scared, both of you asking with your glances if any of you told Darren something about what was happening.

_**"You really don't know how to hide something. Come on, tell me. We're gonna stay here until I get any kind of answer."**_ Darren said crossing his arms and looking at you both intently.

_**"You're delirious. We aren't hiding anything at all."**_ You finally said frowning and playing with your fingers.

_**"You're playing with your fingers. It means you're nervous and therefore you're lying or hiding a secret you are ashamed to tell." **_Darren said looking at you with a faintly smile, while you looked at Jen bemused. How on earth has he found it out?

_**"Yeah, he's has got a sharp eye."**_ Jen said shrugging and Darren smiled proudly. _**"Seriously, Darren. There's nothing to tell." **_

_**"And Jen, you're tangling your finger on the ends of your hair. You're lying."**_ Darren said serene.

_**"I am not."**_ Jen defended herself.

_**"You're not going to talk, are you?"**_ Darren asked bluntly and you and Jen remained in silence looking down. _**"Okay, I have this note..."**_ Darren said searching for something in his pockets, until he pulled out a wet note from his jeans. _**"Yeah, this note. I found this odd note in my notebook before my last class today. Maybe you would know what it's about." **_

Jen and you looked at each other scared and worried. There was no way that Darren could have got a note too. How far could these bullies go? This was insane. But yet, you didn't know what that note was about, maybe you were making up things in your mind, or maybe not.

_**"Okay, I'll read this note."**_ Darren said looking at the note. _**"You're a stupid guy, Criss. How many times do we have to warn you that you shouldn't play with fire? We know a lot of private things about you, so watch out. For example, you wouldn't like everybody to know that you want to fuck that girl, you know who. Our advice: Stay away from the loser and that Jennifer girl. Not only your secrets would be revealed, but also those girls are gonna end up hurt, and maybe also that bitch you have as a mother. One last advice: Don't tell this to anyone, the girl you want to fuck won't be interested in a crazy guy, will she? Beware, Criss. - W-"**_ Darren finished reading the note and then he looked up to you and Jen. _**"Who the fuck is W, what do you have to do with this, and why are they threatening me?"**_

Damn, this harassing thing was getting even worse.

* * *

When it was obvious that they weren't going to talk, I decided that it was time to read them the note I found in my notebook before my last class. When I read that note for the first time I thought that someone was teasing me, like any of my friends; because... Who could have got my notebook? I always had it with me, except when I had to pee and leave the classroom in my Science class; maybe in that time the person put the note in my notebook, it was weird because I didn't know anybody there. And the second thing, who would know that I liked the cheerleader? Only my friends and as far as I knew, I never mentioned anything about her out loud, I've always been cautious about it. But who knows, maybe someone heard me. My thoughts that it was a friend making fun of me vanished quickly when I started thinking about the whole situation that it was happening. Jen was doing well before she went to the bathroom and then she was like disturbed and scared; maybe she received a note like mine. Freckles was acting weird since we visited her in hospital and now she was a different person, always looking around nervously checking if someone was looking at her and that was something she's never done before. Maybe she also received a note. And I only noticed those changes with Jen and Freckles, precisely the people who this W person mentioned in my note. And they messed up with my mom, none of my friends would mess with my mom because they knew her and they knew she was an amazing and adorable person. So this wasn't about a joke from my friends, this was a threat. I owe my ability to find out this kind of mysteries to the detective movies. Whatever this W person wanted to gain with this threat, he or she or they wanted to separate me from Jen and Freckles because they were surely seeing us like a menace when we were together, because they were surely thinking that together they wouldn't be able to beat us or me or whatever they wanted to hurt. I thought that this kind of grim bullying could never happen in my school, because it wasn't a public school. But I was wrong, bullying could happen everywhere in its worse ways. I couldn't get why people could be so mean, what kind of problems they had to be that mean. However, I wouldn't let those assholes hurt neither me nor the people who were my friends or my family. If they wanted to play with me, then they were going to play with me, but I'll attack as well, like in a chess game. They wanted to attack by bullying, I was going to attack with a concise strategy; I wasn't going to lower to their mediocre level. In any case, I decided to read them the note, because maybe that way they would tell me something; something that I probably knew already, but I needed to corroborate if I wasn't wrong.

_**"You're a stupid guy Criss. How many times do we have to warn you that you shouldn't play with fire? We know a lot of private things about you, so watch out. For example, you wouldn't like everybody to know that you want to fuck that girl, you know who. Our advice: Stay away from the loser and that Jennifer girl. Not only your secrets would be revealed, but also those girls are gonna end up hurt, and maybe also that bitch you have as a mother. One last advice: Don't tell this to anyone, the girl you want to fuck won't be interested in a crazy guy, will she? Beware, Criss. - W-"**_ I finished reading the note and then I looked up to Freckles and Jen, who were looking at me troubled. So I decided ask them a question they surely didn't want to hear. _**"Who the fuck is W, what do you have to do with this, and why are they threatening me?"**_

Jen and Freckles looked at each other, really bewildered and not knowing what to do or say. I just waited patiently to hear what they had to say to me. I needed to know it by them; I needed to hear them telling me the truth. The way they were looking at each other made me feel like a jerk; because it was more than obvious that they'd been talking about this and I was the one who didn't know anything about this and I'd have still been the one who didn't know if I hadn't mentioned the note W sent me. As always, I was the last one to find out what was happening.

_**"We don't know who W is."**_ Freckles finally answered looking at me, after looking at Jen for a long and they agreed to tell me the truth, or at least it was what seemed they agreed.

_**"You don't know, fine. But you know what I'm talking about when I say W, don't you?"**_ I asked trying to get more information, because both Jen and Freckles seemed to be uncomfortable and shy to tell me more.

_**"Yes, we do know."**_ Jen answered looking down.

_**"Then I'm assuming you've received those kinds of notes, haven't you?"**_ I asked again insistently.

_**"We have, yes."**_ Jen answered again and Freckles remained silent looking down and playing with her fingers.

_**"And you aren't telling me more because they also told you not to tell this to anyone or someone would end up hurt. Am I wrong?"**_ I asked feeling as if I was a detective trying to solve a crime.

_**"Yes."**_ Jen affirmed nodding.

_**"I see."**_ I answered shortly, also nodding.

_**"Don't judge us for that because this is not what it could happen to me if I say something, it's about what they could do to others. I wouldn't forgive myself if something bad comes to happen to someone I care about because of my fault for not keeping it as a secret as they told me to do."**_ Freckles finally spoke looking at her lap with teary eyes.

_**"I'm not judging you and I'll never do it."**_ I said softly placing my hand above hers.

I needed to let her know that I wasn't doing this because I wanted to blame her as she was surely thinking. Freckles looked up to me and I could see it in her eyes: guilt and apology. This meant something that was beyond that I thought this harassing situation could mean; I needed to ask her one thing that was now spinning in my mind.

_**"This started because of you, didn't it? They're threatening Jen and me because of you, because of something they warned you and you couldn't do. Isn't it like that?"**_ I asked curious, it sounded kind of harsh even though it wasn't my intention.

Shit, I really needed to learn how to ask things that were in my mind in a good way. Now Freckles was looking at me with eyes wide open and tears started to stream down her face in silence; obviously what I said made her feel like crap. But honestly it wasn't my intention and now I didn't know how to let her know that I expressed myself in a wrong way.

_**"Yes, it's my entire fault. You certainly wouldn't have received those threatening notes if it hadn't been because of my fault. I'm really sorry!"**_ Freckles exclaimed desperate and apologetically with choked voice.

Oh no, she really misunderstood why I asked what I asked. She was crying, man; and because of my stupid question. It was still weird for me to see someone crying and I barely knew what I could do to make her feel fine.

_"What an asshole, Darren!"_ I thought upset in my mind.

The worst was she wasn't crying like a capricious and hysterical girl; she was crying with one of the worst feelings that a human being could feel: guilt and repentance for something that it wasn't actually her fault. Because, judging from the little I knew about her, she wasn't a bad person and I was almost sure that she didn't intend to make that the bullies start to harass Jen and me. There should be a reason why they started doing it to us. What could she have done?

_**"Hey, no."**_ I whispered as smooth as I could do, wrapping an arm around her and placing her head on my shoulder so I could caress her long hair reassuringly.

She let me do it and she started shedding tears in silence on my shoulder; I totally forgot Jen was there and I kissed her head. I honestly didn't care what Jen could think about this, Freckles was sad because of my fault and I couldn't leave her like that; and, after all, Jen hugged her, so she couldn't really tell me anything. For a moment, I thought that Jen would look at me in the same way she looked at me when she found me and Freckles here; but she didn't. Instead, Jen looked at me smiling softly, as if she was thinking I was doing the right thing. And I still didn't know what the right thing was, not anymore at this point.

_**"It's not your fault, as far as I know, you haven't done anything wrong." **_I said reassuringly, but actually I wasn't sure if she did something wrong or not.

_**"Yes, I've done something wrong; otherwise this would never have happened."**_ She said still sobbing and I couldn't do anything else to calm her. Yes, I wanted to reassure her, but also I needed to know what exactly was happening with her and those bullies and what Jen and I had to do with this.

_**"Wait. I'm really not getting this. Why do you say you've done something wrong? And why is this happening? What exactly is the fuck that is happening? You need to tell us."**_ I said kind of desperate and it only made her feel worse. Yeah, I felt bad for that, but I first needed to know, and then I'd try to figure out how to solve this shit.

_**"I can't tell you; because this is gonna get even worse and I don't want it. I don't know what to do anymore."**_ She said still sobbing and now she moved away from me, looking away.

_**"I think we deserve to know. After all, now we're on this as well; and if we don't know what the hell is going on, then we won't know what to do."**_ I said a bit harshly.

I said it harshly because yes, I couldn't pretend everything was fine, because it wasn't. And I had to admit that I was kind of scared of this like her; but the difference between her and me, it was that at least she knew what was happening and I had no fucking idea. And if I didn't know it, how was I supposed to do something about to stop it?

_**"Listen, one way or another, we all are screwed already. The choice you can make is either you want to deal with all of this by yourself while Jen and I try to find out by ourselves what's going on while we're still being harassed, so everything can go to hell; or you can make the choice to tell us so then we all together can figure out what we can do to face this problem we have now, knowing that probably everything can go to hell as well but at least we're gonna be together. It's up to you."**_ I said trying not to sound rough but trying to sound firm and consistent.

_**"If I don't tell you, you won't understand the reasons why I don't want to tell you and you won't understand what's going on; but if I tell you, you'll understand but then you'll want to go back in time because you'll realize that I shouldn't have told you. And it's gonna be late."**_ Freckles rambled, looking at me with tears in her eyes but not crying like before; now she seemed to be troubled and confused.

_**"I choose to know and face whatever is gonna happen after you tell me. And I commit myself to do whatever it takes not to let that something bad comes to happen to any of us after you tell me. I take the risk."**_ I said surefire.

_**"No, I'm sorry. But I won't do it, because I don't want to take upon myself the responsibility of knowing that something bad happened to you because of my fault. I don't want that anything truly bad comes to happen to you both."**_ She answered firm and resolute.

Well, she had a point and she obviously didn't want to tell me anything not because she was selfish, but because it was for our own good. This time I decided to think twice what to say to her to convince her to tell us; and while I was thinking it, I came up with a possibility of what could be happening with her and what she could be thinking in her mind. And it was ghoulish.

_**"Do you realize what they are doing to you?"**_ I asked curious and intentionally.

_**"It's not hard to guess that they're harassing me and not only me but you two as well."**_ She answered frowning and looking at me as if I asked the most obvious question in the planet; but she really didn't get the intention of my question.

_**"That's not what I meant. What I'm trying to ask you is...Do you realize that they're playing with your mind? Do you realize that they're trying to distort your reality, making you think that you're wrong? Do you realize that they are trying to make you think what they want you to think while you think is what you really want to think? Oh my fucking god, this is a really good and macabre mental game what they are doing."**_ I said surprised of myself and my conclusions.

I was finding it out while I was saying it. But I was scared, because this wasn't a simple bullying thing; this was from a perverse and ominous mind. Someone has planned it all to win one way or another; that someone will always win, not matter what we could do because the mind of this person was like a criminal mind. We were fucked up. I finally looked up to see Jen and Freckles looking at me disturbed and startled because of my conclusion.

"_**I totally get it now."**_ I said when everything got clearer in my mind. _**"Yes, that's it. They want you to think that being alone and not telling anyone is what you need to do, they made you think that you got to think it by yourself, as if it was something you chose, not what they wanted you to choose. And they got it. Fuck, they're making you think that all you're doing it's because you decided to do it by own choice, but actually you're doing all they want you to do. You're leaving the field open to them to play, but you don't know it; therefore they're going to attack when they reach their goal: To make you think what they think, they want to turn you into one of them and you won't realize it until it's done."**_ I said slurred, completely accelerated by all I was now seeing clear. Everything was so obvious and dissembled at the same time.

_**"What are you saying?"**_ Freckles finally asked with eyes wide open, scared and confounded.

_**"I'm saying that you're doing exactly what they want you to do, and they're gonna beat you. There's no way you can win them, not even if you make your best. You won't get it, because they've planned absolutely everything; they knew how to destroy you since the beginning."**_ I said still stunned of how fast I was realizing how the whole situation was. _**"Fuck! Why didn't I see this before?"**_

_**"You're one of them. You're one of those people who make themselves call W. Oh gosh; all this time you were one of them!" **_Freckles yelled scared, standing up and getting away slowly, really panicking.

_**"What? What the hell?"**_ I asked bewildered looking at her frowning. I was a bit upset because I couldn't believe she was comparing me with those bullies with a perverse mind._** "How can you say something like that?" **_

_**"Because you seem to be so sure about all of this and it's not something that everybody can find out so easily and more if that person doesn't know a damn shit about what's going on!"**_ Freckles yelled frightened, still stepping back. _**"Right, this is why W always knows what I'm doing, what you do and what you think; that's why W always knows what to say to harass me. All this time, it was you! Now I see it. What do you want? What the fuck do you want from me? Stop this, please stop this!"**_

_**"What? You gotta be kidding me, Freckles!"**_ I said still bewildered, now standing up but not moving from where I was standing.

_**"Don't call me Freckles! Is that why all of a sudden you were nice to me? Yes, because everybody knows it, keep your friends close but your enemies closer! Oh god, oh my god!"**_ Freckles exclaimed flurried and freaking out.

_**"No, you're not getting this. Can't you see it? They want you to think that your friends are enemies because they want you alone!" **_I said now desperate because I didn't know how to make her see it wasn't what she was thinking.

_**"That's why no one is sending me anything now. Because you're the one who sends me the anonymous text messages; so you can't text me because you're with me!"**_ She said tearing up in fear.

_**"What anonymous text messages? What are you talking about?"**_ I asked confused. This was happening too fast and she was saying nonsense things for me.

_**"How did you get my phone number? How did you get that picture of me, the first one you used to harass me? How?"**_ She asked not answering my questions. I wasn't sure if she was listening to me at all.

_**"What picture? I don't have a fucking..."**_I started saying more confused than ever. What was she talking about? I didn't even have her phone number and I had no pictures of her.

_**"That explains why you came to the hospital that day with Jen right after you sneaked in to harass me earlier! You threatened me by telling me I shouldn't tell you anything, so then you came back with Jen to check if I was doing what you told me to do! Oh, fuck you!"**_ She yelled even more frightened.

_**"What the fuck? Has someone gone to the hospital to harass you before we...?"**_ I started asking scared by what she said, but she kept interrupting me.

_**"That's why you threatened me not to tell anyone or you'd hurt you and Jen! Because you'd never hurt yourself, so you would win anyway because you knew I wouldn't let anyone get hurt because of my fault! That's because you said you and Jen and not anybody else! You were proving me!"**_ She said in tears of fear, really pale.

_**"Have they said precisely that they were going to hurt only Jen and me if you happen to say something of what was happening?"**_ I asked stunned raising my eyebrows. Why would those bullies mention only Jen and me? So then, maybe they didn't want to hurt only Freckles, they wanted to beat me and Jen down as well.

_**"How could you do something like that? I trusted you! Oh damn, I told you a lot of private things and now you know it all. Oh crap!" **_She said panicking to the point I thought she was going to have a heart attack.

_**"Okay, it was enough!"**_ I yelled loudly and angrily to silence her and it worked. _**"I'm not getting a damn fuck of what you're saying; I didn't know anything of what was going on and now you're letting me know it in a way that I barely can understand because you only mentioned incoherent and not correlate events that happened to you. You're not answering my questions, you interrupt me all the time, you're not getting that the only thing I'm trying to do is to help you but I fucking can't because you keep thinking that I'm one of those assholes. You're comparing me to them and I won't allow it! Not to them!"**_ I yelled in a rage because she really drove me insane, in the bad sense of the word. _**"So if you want to keep thinking that, go ahead. But don't expect from me any kind of help, not anymore. And I'll only let you know that if you keep having this attitude with the people who try to help you, you're so fucked up! They're going to destroy you and they're gonna do it so fucking well and when that moment comes to happen, you're gonna regret for not trusting on people who ever tried to stand by you."**_ I said out of my mind while she was looking at me startled and pale. _**"So do the fuck you want! I won't beg you to believe me that I have nothing to do with this macabre shit." **_

_**"Darren, calm down."**_ Jen finally spoke shyly.

_**"To calm down? To calm down, Jen? Really? How am I supposed to calm down if when I try to help someone I'm treated like a real asshole and perverse guy?"**_ I asked yelling, still really mad.

_**"Try to understand her."**_ Jen said again shyly and softly.

_**"I won't understand her, because she'd never let me understand her! Because noticeably she thinks I'm one of them. Whatever!"**_ I exclaimed angrily rising up my arms.

_**"It's not what I think; it's what I know now! You're one of them and I know it!"**_ Freckles yelled now also angry.

_**"Think the shit you want, I don't care! I'll see how they beat you down!"**_ I yelled even angrier walking towards her until I was very close to her; now the two of us were facing each other like defiantly. It seemed that all my blood went up to my head and I was breathing with difficulty because of my anger. And I wasn't a guy who could get mad easily.

_**"You won't beat me down!"**_ She yelled defiantly getting even closer. I could notice she was breathing in the same way than me and all I could see in her eyes was fierceness.

_**"Okay, you two, stop it!"**_ Jen finally yelled, energetically and intrepid. It made me and Freckles look at her in surprise. Jen never yelled that way. _**"Whatever those bullies want, they're getting it! Look at you both, it's pathetic! With this, you're proving them that they're cleverer and stronger than you! Can we all just calm down and set down this problem to solve it?"**_

Both, Freckles and I, looked at her in silence and then we looked away; really trying to calm down. What Jen said it was what I was trying to say to Freckles all this time, but she said it in a way that apparently worked. Why did it work for Jen and not for me? Freckles crossed her arms and stood there, apparently she was going to stay to listen to whatever Jen or I had to say. Jen walked towards Freckles and looked at her with that kind of look that seemed to be begging for something.

_**"Freckles, you have to believe that Darren isn't one of them."**_ Jen said softly and with extreme sincerity. _**"I know it's hard for you to believe, because those bullies have done a lot of terrible things to you to the point you don't know who to trust anymore. I know it because at some point I've been there, and you know what I mean because I told you so earlier." **_Jen said now with choked voice and teary eyes.

What was that? Again I was feeling like the last one to find out everything. So Jen and Freckles had been talking about something. Could it be that something about her brother and all the bullying her brother had to suffer years ago? I didn't know, but Jen had this kind and sweet way to talk that could calm everybody even in the worst situations. And it seemed that Freckles only trusted her somehow. How could it be possible if Jen and I were with Freckles the same amount of time?

_**"But this time you have to trust him, Freckles. Darren is not a bad person, it's the opposite, he's the one who was always there for me, and he's the only one who knows all about me because he won my trust."**_ Jen said with the same choked voice and I looked at her sweetly. She was making me feel thrilled with her words. Jen, the sweetest girl in the universe. _**"And he'd never joke or threat about my brother, like the note spelled. He'd never mess with me and my brother in that way."**_

When I heard the last thing Jen said, I felt really irked and rabid. So Jen indeed received a note from W and they dared to mess with her brother, the thing that hurt her the most. And she didn't tell me anything about it, but she told so to Freckles. But it wasn't the point; the point was they messed with something they shouldn't have messed with my best friend. Now, more than ever, I wanted to find out who W was to give that person his or her due.

_**"Have they sent you an anonymous note messing up with you and your brother? What have they said? Jen, what the hell is going on? Why haven't you told me?"**_ I asked very distressed but upset at the same time.

_**"I'm sorry, Dar. I didn't want to worry you and I really couldn't talk to you about this."**_ Jen apologized.

_**"But why have you told her but not me?"**_ I asked still anguished because I couldn't understand it. Jen's been my best friend since years and she barely knew Freckles.

_**"Because she was involved in the note they sent me, not you."**_ Jen answered still looking at me in the same way.

_**"What did the note say?" **_I asked intrigued but scared for what it could say. Nothing good could be for sure if they messed with her brother.

_**"I don't know if it's the right time to tell you."**_ Jen answered shyly and then she looked at Freckles. _**"We're talking about this because of another reason."**_

_**"It's fine for me if you want to tell him now, if the other reason it's me."**_ Freckles answered shrugging. _**"He might know it already."**_

_**"Are you still thinking that? Unbelievable!"**_ I exclaimed in disbelief, looking at her.

_**"Guys, please."**_ Jen sighed a bit tired because of our behavior. _**"This is the note."**_

Jen looked for something in her purse and then she handed it to me. I quickly grabbed it and I started reading the note which was written in the same kind of paper than mine.

**"We're going to warn you something, bitch. This loser you're defending now, she's not like your brother who is writhing in his own tomb. Yes, she's a fucking loser just as your brother was. The difference between them, besides that fortunately one of them is dead, it's that this loser you're defending now is gonna screw your life. You know why? Because if you keep defending her, we're gonna kill you to death. But we're not gonna kill you so you can join your brother in hell, we're gonna kill all you have so then you can keep living but in misery. Besides, if you keep helping this loser bitch, soon she's gonna be dead like your little stupid brother. If you can't accept that your brother killed himself because of your entirely fault...How could you keep living knowing that you killed two people instead only one? So, beware your actions, slayer. We know everything. -W-"**

When I finished reading it, an intense anger ran through my whole body. This fucking asshole messed with something that shouldn't. How the hell has he or she dared to threat Jen with something like that? How has this person dared to call her a slayer? How has this person dared to say that Jen was the guilty for all that happened with her brother? How could this person be so cold-hearted and insensate to refer to a dead guy in that way? But above all those questions, there was this question: How did this person know about Jen, her brother and the guilt she felt for her brother's death? Almost no one knew it. Or this person knew us very well, or this person had allies who knew us and told everything about us, or this person was also harassing other people to get private information about us. All the options were possible and it scared the hell out of me.

_**"I'm gonna find out who this W person is and I'm gonna give this person his or her due. I won't let this person to fuck up us and I won't let this person win. This person will understand with whom is messing. I swear on my life."**_

* * *

You were really sure that Darren was one of those people who were bullying you. There was no way he could have drawn those conclusions if he didn't know anything. He was acting as if he didn't know anything; but when he started saying out loud his conclusions, suddenly it seemed he knew it all, and more than what you knew. If you were still there, it was because of Jen, because she begged you to stay somehow; because you knew what W sent her and it was something really serious; and not only because of that note, but also because after she told you they sent her a note, she told you what happened to her brother and how guilty she felt about his death. That was the time when you understood why she hugged you that day unexpectedly after you told her and Darren a little bit of your thoughts. It seemed that for her, you resembled to her brother at some point. Jen was honest with you, and she won your trust since that time. Even though it was Jen the one who was telling you that Darren was a good person and he could have never done something like that; you couldn't trust Darren anymore. Anyway, you stayed. Well, all of those negative thoughts you had about Darren, all of them changed when you saw his face while he was reading the note that W sent to Jen. But what really changed your mind was what he said after he finished reading the note and the way he said it.

_**"I'm gonna find out who this W person is and I'm gonna give this person his or her due. I won't let this person to fuck up us and I won't let this person win. This person will understand with whom is messing. I swear for my life." **_Darren said with trembling voice because of his anger. But he also was scared, just like you and Jen were.

He couldn't have said it that angry and scared if he was one of those bullies. His face was surprised and terrified while he was reading the note, and it wasn't so easy to act. Then you realized it: You judged him the same way people were judging you all the time. You were doing exactly the same than them; you were turning into one of them, as Darren said they wanted. You were suspicious of him, so you wanted to get away from him; just as Darren said they wanted. Darren was right; you were doing exactly what those bullies wanted. Now you could see it: those bullies were playing with your mind, making you think things that they wanted you to think, just as Darren said. Yes, because now you didn't know what truth was and what it wasn't. You could choose to deal with this alone and make sure that you wouldn't be betrayed by Darren or Jen, so you could be safe; but you weren't going to be safe, because that was what the bullies wanted, they wanted you to be alone and disconcerted. Also you could choose to trust Darren and Jen, taking the risk of being betrayed by them but at least you weren't going to be alone, at least this wasn't what the bullies wanted, even though Darren and Jen could be them at the end. But maybe they weren't, maybe they wanted to help you; and you couldn't know it if you didn't take the risk. Then you remembered something Darren told you earlier.

_**"Because I know how it feels to be alone when you need someone."**_

You remembered his face and his eyes when he told you that. There was a hint of open-heartedness and candidness in his eyes when he told you that; there was something in his eyes that no kind of bully would have. He wasn't one of them, not after the way he was with you when you were alone. Suddenly you felt really bad because of the way you treated him, because of the way you called him after what he was doing for you. He didn't deserve to be treated like that; you treated him in the same you hated people to treat you: with prejudice and injustice. Damn, you were turning into one of those disgusting people and you weren't realizing it. When you looked at Darren, to see the guy you hurt unfairly, he was arguing with Jen. Apparently Jen was trying to calm Darren and telling him that they should plan what to do wisely and not impulsively; but Darren was telling her that he was sick of that shit, and that he couldn't be calm after all that was happening. But you couldn't really follow the thread of the argument, because you were thinking how bad you behaved with Darren.

_**"I'm sorry."**_ You finally said looking at Darren, and Jen and Darren stopped arguing to look at you frowning in surprise.

_**"What?"**_ Darren asked moody when he realized you were looking only at him.

_**"I'm sorry."**_ You repeated apologetically.

_**"Sorry for what? You want to leave again because you still think I'm one of those assholes? Because if it's so, then go away. I'm not in mood to deal with your stupid way of thinking."**_ Darren said really sulky.

_**"No, I'm sorry for saying that, for saying you're one of those assholes."**_ You said looking deeply into his eyes apologetically. Why was it so hard to apologize? _** "I acted like them. I judged you and I treated you in the way they treated me, right in the way I hate. I did it as if I were an asshole like them. I'm really sorry." **_

Darren was now looking at you also a bit guilty and now he wasn't so sulky. He looked down for a while and then he looked up to you again.

_**"Yeah, you hurt me."**_ Darren said honestly, but he didn't say it resentful, he said it softly. _**"But I know that I treated you in a bad way as well. And I'm sorry for that. It's just that I couldn't believe that you were comparing me to them." **_

_**"I know you didn't deserve it. You were just trying to help, but I acted the way those bullies wanted me to act."**_ You said with choked voice. You couldn't hold back all those feelings you had._** "I just don't know what the right thing is and what is not. I just don't know how to stop this and I barely know who to trust. I'm just a damn big mess and I'm desperate. I just want this to stop, I can't deal with this anymore, I just can't."**_

You finally broke into tears. You wanted to wake up from this nightmare, you just wanted to wake up and see that everything was alright. You just wanted to have a normal life and you just wanted to be calm.

_**"I just want to disappear and go to some place where I can be myself, where I can be in peace. I want to go to some place where nobody can bring me down. I just want to go to some place where enemies and meanness don't exist. I can't do this because I feel weak and I'm tired."**_ You said crying desperately.

_**"Don't say that."**_ Jen finally said also with choked voice. She also was tearing up, maybe she was thinking in her brother's situation. _**"We're gonna find that place, but it is in here, we just have to look for it; and I'll look for it with you."**_

_**"You don't have any idea how it feels to wake up and see that nothing has changed, that only it's getting worse. I just can't understand what I've done to have got so many enemies. I can't find it out."**_ You said still crying frustrated.

"_**You've got enemies? Good. That means you actually stood up for something in your life."**_ Darren finally said looking at you.

_**"And why is it worth it if I can't even enjoy for that? Why is it good to have stood for something in my life if anyway they're trying to bring me down all the time?" **_

_**"If people are trying to bring you down, it only means you're above them."**_ Darren said smoothly and shrugging, while he took Jen's hand to walk towards you.

_**"You're saying it to comfort me, but we all know that actually it isn't like that. I'm six feet under them. I'm a miss nobody." **_

_**"No, you're not. You're just full of doubts and they're certain of themselves. But you know? The whole problem with this world is that fools are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts."**_ Darren said looking into your eyes and placing a hand in your shoulder, still holding Jen's hand.

_**"And why is it a good thing to have doubts? It's not the solution to stop this shit." **_

_**"Actually it is. With our doubts we're not gonna do something stupid, because the doubt is gonna lead us to think what to do in detail, because the face of doubt of not knowing if what we think will work out or not, we'll always have backup plans, whereas people who think to be right about everything, never think that their plans can fail. They have more room for error. And we, all together, are gonna find the way to move on."**_ Darren said smiling softly. _**"We're gonna trip and stumble, but someday we're gonna get it, not matter how hard it's gonna be. We have each other to lean on."**_

You looked at him with teary eyes but not crying anymore. How could you have thought that he was one of them? How could you? He was the most supportive person you've ever met, his words just touched you very much; he made you see this situation from another point of view, he made you feel as if you weren't so tiny and helpless compared to them. And he wouldn't win anything for himself by telling you all of this. He was unselfish, unlike those bullies. For the first time for real, you thought you had chances to stop this bullying thing, just if you could stick together with Darren and Jen. And for the first time, you were the one who hugged him first; for the first time in a long you were the one who took the initiative to hug someone. And not only you hugged him, you also hugged Jen at the same time, you just had the need to show them how thankful you were to have met two people like them in your life. Darren and Jen also hugged you back and the three of you hugged each other for a while. It was a weird but unforgettable moment. It was the three of you letting know each other that from now on you were going to stick together not to be alone on this; and for the first time you felt you had two real friends, you felt them as your friends. It didn't matter for how long you knew them, what mattered was how intense what happened was to feel them like your friends. Then you realized what people tried to say when they said that sometimes you can know a person for a lot of years but that person won't ever be your friend; and sometimes people you know in a short time can become your real friend. Yes, it was what happened to you.

_**"Thank you, guys. And I'm sorry if I ever made you feel bad." **_You whispered a bit shy but frankly, breaking the group hug.

_**"It's alright, Freckles. We understand you."**_ Jen said smiling kindly and taking your hand.

_**"Yeah, what would be a friendship without arguments?"**_ Darren joked messing up your hair while you tried to stop him but giggling.

The three of you kept fooling around and joking for a while, the three of you being glad of having each other now, of knowing that finally you were going to trust each other and that all together you were going to face the bullying thing with all your doubts and fears. You found new friends and a place where you could be safe. In 6 hours you haven't received any harassing text message and it was good. Wait, 6 hours? It was 3am, you were still there and you had to go to school in a few hours. Besides, the cold coastal breeze was freezing you, because you were still wet. You needed to come back to sleep at least a few hours and to change your wet clothes. But you were scared to go home at this time alone, and you couldn't go to your house with Darren and Jen because it was dangerous. What could you do?

_**"Guys, it's 3am."**_ You finally said serious. _**"We have to go to school in a few hours, we haven't slept at all and I'm gonna be a zombie at class, and I really need to change my clothes or I'm gonna catch pneumonia."**_

_**"Oh my god. You're so drastic!"**_ Darren said laughing._** "It'd be interesting to see a zombie with pneumonia. I've never ever seen one before."**_

_**"Maybe you can turn into one of them, but not me."**_ You said serious again even though it was funny what Darren said. Yes, you were really drastic. _**"I shall go home."**_

_**"Wait Freckles, you really can't go back to your home at this time. Not only because your parents are going to kill you and they're gonna bug you with annoying questions like: Where have you been all this time, missy? Do you think this is time to come back home? You're punished for a week, without TV, phone and Internet."**_ Jen said imitating the voice of a typical parent and you couldn't help laughing out loud along with Darren. She said it in a very accurate way. _**"Really, parents are so annoying sometimes. But you also can't come back home at this time because it's really dark and considering everything that is happening, it's not safe."**_

_**"Yes, but I really need to come back. I'm freezing here and I need to sleep at least one hour or I'd have a dysfunctional brain tomorrow. Like really, if I'm clumsy in my daily basis, imagine if I don't sleep at all."**_ You said raising your eyebrows because you were going to be a mess.

_**"Oh, man. Yes Jen, she needs to sleep or she'd be a complete disaster. Trust me, she's clumsier than me." **_Darren said giggling softly, apparently remembering the incident you had when you tumbled down.

_**"You gotta be kidding me, Dar. No one is clumsier than you."**_ Jen said with eyes wide open.

_**"Well, I thought the same, Jen. But Freckles has beaten me, she takes top prize."**_ Darren laughed looking at you amused.

_**"Hey, I'm not that clumsy."**_ You laughed knowing that what you said was a lie.

_**"Sure you're not."**_ Darren laughed along with you. _**"You're just a person with little agility, quite little to what is considered average."**_

_**"Maybe..."**_ You said amused.

_**"I can't believe it."**_ Jen exclaimed raising her eyebrows. _**"Am I the only normal person here?"**_

_**"What is that shit of normal person? You're so far from being a normal person, Jen. Yeah, you might have agility unlike us, but for sure you're not a normal person."**_ Darren said looking at her promptly.

_**"Weird is fun."**_ Jen said shrugging.

_**"Preach!"**_ Darren exclaimed amused. Yes, definitely they were two special and extraordinary people. _**"Well, back to our serious topic of conversation, I agree with Jen. Maybe it's not a good idea if you come back to your home. And considering that you don't want to turn into a zombie with pneumonia, even though I'd love to see that, you two can come to my house and we can go to school together. After all, it's not so far from here." **_

_**"Yes, I think that's the best."**_ Jen said nodding. _**"What do you think, Freckles?"**_

_**"I think it's not a good idea."**_ You answered looking down.

_**"Why not?"**_ Darren asked frowning but you didn't answer._** "Got it. If you're worrying because I'm a guy and you're a girl and you're thinking that you'd have to sleep in the same room than a weird guy; well then don't worry. I've got a spare room."**_

_**"Yes, I always sleep in that room so I can assure you it's a really nice room. And this time I can sleep in Darren's bedroom just in case you want to sleep alone."**_ Jen said smiling softly.

"_**No, it's not that…"**_ You said still looking down and feeling uncomfortable.

"_**So, what is it?"**_ Darren asked still frowning.

Well, you really wanted to go to Darren's house; not to sound a stalker, but you wanted to get to know that place where the guy you liked so much lived. You always dreamed of going to his house, meeting his family, getting along with them, sleeping with him...but it was a dream. Now that you had the chance it was weird. One of the reasons, as Darren thought accurately, was that you didn't want to sleep in the same room than him, because it'd be uncomfortable for you. The other reason was that it was very late and it wasn't right that the first time you were going to go to his house, you were going to arrive there at this time; what would his parents think about it? You didn't want to give them a bad impression of yourself. Another reason was that you were still wet and you didn't have any other outfit to wear; you didn't have pajamas to sleep, you didn't have dry clothes, and you couldn't go with these clothes to school next day. The clothes you were wearing now, weren't the kind of clothes you used to wear in public. So you just didn't think it was a good idea to go to his house, even though you also thought that it wasn't a good idea to come back to your house at this time.

"_**Is it about my parents? Because if that is what worries you, then you shouldn't. My parents are totally awesome and they're used at this, of me coming back home late and sometimes with Jen."**_ Darren said looking at you. _**"And they'll like you, right Jen? You know why."**_

"_**I do know. And yes, they'll like you."**_ Jen answered smiling. _**"Mostly, Darren's dad. He loves berets."**_ Jen said winking and chuckling but not in a bad way, looking at your beret. You couldn't help giggling softly.

_**"Well yeah, actually that's one of the reasons why I don't think it's a good idea." **_You said looking down awkwardly, even though you were smiling at Jen's comment.

_**"Okay, now you know it. They won't have any kind of problem if you come. They love having visits at home." **_Darren said shrugging.

_**"No, that's not what I meant. I don't have...you know...I'm a girl and...well." **_You started saying uncomfortable.

_**"Are you on your period?"**_ Darren suddenly asked and you looked up to him with eyes wide open and raising eyebrows. Why would he ask something like that?

_**"No..."**_ You answered slowly, frowning.

_**"Oh, it's just I thought it could be something like that. You know, it's the best excuse for girls: No, I can't because I'm on my period and I need my tampons."**_ Darren said shrugging and giggling.

_**"Darren, stop it! Why do you always have to talk about periods?"**_ Jen scolded him and it was kind of funny.

_**"What? I'm a teen! Naturally, I talk about periods and boners and everything that is related to that. Blame it on the hormones. Maybe someday I'm gonna write a song about periods."**_ Darren joked. "_**Anyway, why don't you want to come then?"**_

_**"Because I have no clothes. And I can't keep these wet clothes on, and I can't go to school like this."**_ You finally answered, trying to avoid Darren's look.

_**"Is that so?"**_ Darren said laughing amused. _**"Not a big deal. I can lend you some clothes to sleep while we wait for your clothes to dry; so then you can wear them to go to school, because honestly I can't get why you don't want to go to school like that."**_

_**"Are you kidding me? I look ridiculous."**_ You said in disbelief and a bit huffy.

_**"Not at all. I already told you what I think. Actually you look kind of sexy."**_ Darren said winking and he was surely kidding.

_**"I second that."**_ Jen agreed nodding. _**"Those clothes fit perfectly on you."**_

_**"Yes, sure."**_ You said sarcastically.

_**"Jen, she said yes."**_ Darren looked at Jen amused.

_**"That's right, she said yes! Why are we wasting time, then?"**_ Jen looked at Darren amused and then at you mischievously while you looked at them puzzled. It seemed that they had a conspiracy.

_**"I don't know."**_ Darren answered shrugging and smirking mischievously. _**"Let's go. We need to get some sleep before going to school. Freckles, what do you prefer? Pink or blue? I'll lend you any of my best shirts. And you won't regret, my mom makes the best breakfasts, you'll see."**_

_**"Oh yes! And the bedroom where you're gonna sleep has the coziest bed ever!"**_ Jen exclaimed excited.

_**"What are you talking about?"**_ You asked really puzzled and frowning.

_**"I know you're excited to get to know my home."**_ Darren said smiling amused. _**"But you really have to hurry up, because this way we won't arrive any soon."**_

_**"What? I never said I accepted going to your house!"**_ You exclaimed bewildered.

_**"Actually, you did. You said yes."**_ Darren said still smiling amused.

_**"Oh no! I didn't say yes as an acceptance to go to your house. I said yes because..." **_You started saying but Darren interrupted you.

_**"You said yes and that's it. You should watch out your words!" **_

_**"I'm sorry Freckles, but I'm with Darren on this. A yes is a yes."**_ Jen said also smirking amused.

_**"Oh my God! You're so unbearable and stubborn!"**_ You exclaimed in disbelief.

_**"Oh yes, we are."**_ Jen said giggling.

_**"Come on, let's go."**_ Darren said urging you and Jen.

_**"Fine, fine. I give up, I'm going. But this is the first and last time."**_ You said pretending to be grouchy, but you were actually amused and glad.

_**"We'll see that."**_ Darren answered smirking and looking brightly into your eyes. _**"Hurry up, we have to plot our plan. It's gonna be a long night."**_


	6. The plan

A/N: Alright guys! Here's a new chapter! I wanted to thank you all for the support and for always being there, reading my silly stories! I hope you like this story so far and I hope you're enjoying it! So here's the chapter of the plan...what would they plan? Well, you'll find it out now! So I'll let you read and I'll stop writing boring stuff! Hope you like it!

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**Teenage Dream – Part 6 – The plan.**

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You were walking in silence next to Darren and Jen late in the night, going to Darren's home. You still couldn't believe that you were going to his house this late and that you were going to meet his parents in these conditions. You still couldn't believe that you were going to sleep in the same house than him, but you needed to stop thinking about those stupid things; however, you've never slept in the same house with a guy in it; Peter was the only male friend you had, but you never slept in his house and he never slept in yours. So this was really a new experience in your life and you weren't sure if you'd be comfortable with it. Sometimes you wondered why you always had to be so insecure and why you had to tend to overthink everything. It was just one night that you were going to sleep in a guy's house, and you were going to sleep in a separate room, not big deal.

While you were walking in silence, Darren and Jen were talking about something they had to do in the Rock and Roll Club, something that you couldn't understand because they were talking about beats, solfege, decrescendo and crescendo, tempos, chords, countermelody and you didn't know what else. You sucked at music and it seemed they were talking in alien language; yes it was one of the things you could never understand. And not that you never tried to learn, you tried, yes, but you doubtlessly failed; so you just gave up in learning it. Whatever, they were talking about it and considering that you weren't getting anything, you just kept walking in silence. It was getting colder while you were walking and the wet clothes weren't helping at all, you were freezing and now you wanted to arrive at Darren's house as fast as you could. You wrapped your own arms around yourself, so maybe you could warm up that way. Darren said his house was near from where you were, evidently he was lying.

_**"Are you cold?"**_ Darren asked amused, looking at you. You, who were looking at the ground while walking, looked up to him.

_**"No."**_ You lied, still wrapping your arms around yourself. But you sneezed and it betrayed you.

_**"Bless you."**_ Jen said amused and smiling politely.

_**"Sneaky sneeze!"**_ Darren exclaimed amused and a bit mockingly.

_**"Yeah, stupid sneeze."**_ You said doing something really disgusting. But you had no tissues, so you just used your sleeve. _**"You said your house was near here. You cheater."**_

_**"It's near here!"**_ Darren laughed out loud. _**"Hey, after all we're walking and it's cool to walk sometimes. You lazy."**_

_**"I'm not lazy!"**_ You said frowning offended. _**"It's just not cool walking when you're wet."**_

Second sneeze. Gosh, third sneeze. Fourth sneeze. Oh damn! What now? You couldn't stop sneezing like a fool and your sneezes weren't sneaky, you had that way to sneeze so loudly. It was embarrassing, and more when Darren and Jen burst out laughing. Darren stepped to your side smiling widely and amused, and then he suddenly wrapped an arm around you, rubbing your arm to warm you up.

_**"You weren't lying when you said you were going to catch pneumonia, were you?"**_ Darren said smirking amused.

He was still rubbing your arm and walking next to you like this, while Jen was just looking at you both. It was an odd situation and you liked it, but at the same time you were feeling a bit uncomfortable. Because you still couldn't get used being near him, it was kind of impossible. Why did he have to be so cute? Everything about him was cute: his attitude, his wet and messed but soft curls, his precious smirk, his bright hazel eyes, and his freckles, because yes, he had few freckles and it was cute on a guy. His body was warm and his hands were firm, and his touching was something you couldn't explain, it was just driving you crazy. How were you supposed to stay at his house if you were feeling like this whenever you were near him?

_**"No, I wasn't."**_ You answered with congested voice because of the sneezing.

Anyway, you tried to sound kind because you were thankful because of his attitude, even though Jen couldn't stop staring at you both. What could she be thinking? Maybe this was normal for her; maybe Darren was just like this with everybody; so you needed to stop overthinking.

_**"Don't worry! We're here now!"**_ Darren said smiling widely, walking to a big and cozy house.

Oh gosh, he couldn't live there. That house was just so precious. How on earth could he live there? Not that your house wasn't nice, but this one was just so cozy. Darren finally unwrapped his arm around you and he walked to the front door, followed by Jen. You stepped shyly to where they were. Now it was the moment when you started to feel nervous, hopefully his parents were sleeping. And then you wondered if he had any sister or brother. Yes, he mentioned he had a brother called Chuck, but maybe he had more. You really didn't know so much about this Darren Criss guy but anyway there you were, getting into his house. So many questions were popping in your mind when suddenly you saw a huge and beautiful living room in the entrance, everything was clean and tidy and it had a unique brilliance. Darren and Jen were already inside but you only stepped in shyly.

_**"You're not gonna find any dragon here, so don't be scared and shy. The only dragon I have is in my bedroom and it's a cute and nice one."**_ Darren joked mockingly.

_**"How funny!"**_ You exclaimed lowly with sarcasm, officially entering his house.

_**"Why are you talking so low? I can barely hear you."**_ Darren said sitting on the couch next to Jen, who was smirking amused looking at you.

How could he ask you something like that? The answer was obvious. He only wanted to make you feel ashamed, because it was fun for him to see you like that. He enjoyed it. Such a teaser.

_**"You seem to be a robot, girl. Do I need to command you to sit over here?"**_ Darren joked mockingly. _**"Robot, come here. Robot, sit down. Robot, Robot?"**_ Darren mocked with robotic voice and pretending to be talking to a machine.

_**"Oh my god. Really?" **_You exclaimed in disbelief because of his silliness. How could he be so adorable and dork at the same time? How could he always have something random and funny to say?

_**"He always does things like that. He's a real dork, you're gonna get used soon." **_Jen said shrugging and giggling amused.

_**"Hey! That's rude!"**_ Darren faked a pout. Oh gosh, that was adorable. How could it be so adorable? _**"I'm a sad panda now, man. You're treating me like a dork, I didn't get a robot and my fave socks are really wet. Man, this sucks; my socks suck..."**_ Darren started saying nonsense things and you were just looking at him with eyes wide open, trying to follow the thread of the conversation but it was impossible.

_**"Darren, darling, stop talking."**_ Jen mocked amused, playing with one of his curls.

When you saw Jen playing with Darren's curls and when you heard she called him darling, you started thinking about something you never thought before. What if Jen and Darren were more than friends? What if they were friends with benefits or even a couple? You never thought about it, and it would make sense considering they were together all the time and they were really close. They'd make a nice couple, but you didn't want to think about it, because you really liked him. When you realized you were thinking about this, you slapped yourself. This was none of your business, Jen was a good girl so as Darren; and Darren had no romantic intentions with you, he could do whatever he wanted. You made a feint to sit on the couch, but then Darren stood up right in front where you were going to sit.

_**"Come with me, Freckles. I'll give you some clothes or you are really gonna get sick."**_ Darren said this time serious. How could he change from being dorky to being serious all of a sudden?

_**"Okay."**_ You nodded shyly. This was really uncomfortable, you still didn't know if you liked the idea of wearing his clothes.

_**"Meanwhile I'll make hot chocolate. It's gonna help you both to warm up."**_ Jen said politely.

_**"Yes, please. I love your hot chocolate."**_ Darren said excited and then he looked at you. _**"She makes the most delicious hot chocolates, you'll see. It's kind of addictive."**_

_**"He's exaggerating."**_ Jen said rolling her eyes amused. _**"But I think you'll like it anyway."**_

_**"I guess so. I love chocolate, any kind of chocolate."**_ You said smiling and shrugging.

_**"Any kind?"**_ Darren said looking at you mischievously and then he winked. You just frowned because you didn't get why he said so.

_**"Darren, stop it."**_ Jen scolded Darren serious.

_**"I'm sorry! I can't help it." **_Darren giggled amused and then you thought that he surely tried to say a perverted comment or something like that, but you were way too harmless. _**"Let's go, Freckles."**_

Darren started walking and you followed him. He was going to take you to his bedroom and you were freaking out because of it; you were going to his bedroom. You wanted to know how it looked like, but at the same time you didn't want to go there. He led you upstairs; apparently all the bedrooms were there. You tried to be as quiet as you could be because you really didn't want to wake up any member of his family. Darren led you to the end of the super tidy hallway, and you stopped in the last door at left. You chuckled inside when you saw a blue boyish door sign with his name spelled on it. He surely had it there since he was a little kid and he was surely used at it because he didn't comment anything about it. He just opened the door and you widened your eyes when you saw his huge bedroom. Unlike the entire tidy and clean house, his bedroom was a complete mess and you wondered how he could sleep in such a messy place. The bed was unmade, the pillow was on the floor, his clothes were on the floor scattered everywhere, there were also papers and candy wrappers on the floor, and he had a lot of posters and pictures hanging on the wall. On a corner you could notice there was a desk with a notebook, his desk was a mess; on the other corner, the cleanest corner in the bedroom, there was a violin, a cello and an acoustic guitar leaning against an aluminum stand; and he also had a bass guitar hanging on the wall. He also had drums, a harmonic and a keyboard, with a music rack in the middle of this corner for musical instruments. For god's sake, this boy really loved music. Despite the mess, his bedroom was so awesome. Darren entered his bedroom, but you stood in the door, just feeling very shy to enter it.

_**"Sorry about the mess."**_ Darren said grabbing some of his clothes that were on the floor.

_**"It's okay, I don't mind."**_ You said quietly from the door and then Darren looked up to you from the edge of his bed.

_**"Are you gonna get in or are you waiting for any ghost to make you get in? Because that's not gonna happen, you know?" **_He said giggling amused, putting the clothes he grabbed on his bed. He always knew the way to make you blush and to make you feel like a dumb.

_**"I'm disappointed. At least I was expecting to find the dragon you talked about."**_ You joked quietly, entering the bedroom.

_**"Good answer. His name's Ted. Well, Ted is sleeping, you know." **_Darren continued the joke. _**"Could you please close the door? I don't want to wake up my bro, who comes to sleep next to my bedroom."**_

_**"Oh, yes! Sorry."**_ You said apologetically, closing the door quietly and there you stood, not sure of what to do or where to go.

Darren just smiled at you kindly and he kept grabbing clothes from the floor to put on his bed, so meanwhile you started looking around more intently. The posters you saw hanging on the wall were all of famous bands and football teams; and the pictures were of himself with his family and friends. You laughed with tenderness inside when you saw a picture of him when he was about five years old with apparently his brother, both of them dressed up as cowboys. Unlike other teenage guys, he didn't have any poster of a sexy half-naked woman or things like that. Then you directed your sight to his nightstand, which had a drawer opened. There were some papers and under those papers you saw something that seemed a condom package. Actually it was indeed a condom package. Damn it, why the hell did you have to be so curious? Why the hell did you have to look there? Now you knew you were blushing hard and you tried to look anywhere else, but you were now feeling very awkward and you didn't know what to do to dissimulate your shame. Fuck, hopefully he wouldn't notice you were blushing and you were kind of uncomfortable.

_**"Sorry, I just wanted to clean a little this room but I give up. This is a real mess, it's kind of embarrassing. Now I get why my mom tells me all the time to clean my room."**_ Darren suddenly said and he finally looked at you.

You tried to avoid his glance and you pretended to be seeing his acoustic guitar. But he knew that you were nervous and that you weren't looking at his guitar because he looked at you curiously and suspiciously; then he looked at his guitar, he looked at you over again, and then he looked at his nightstand. Damn it, now he definitely knew you were seeing it seconds earlier and he was going to find out that you saw his condom package. You glanced furtively at him and you saw how he ran to his nightstand and closed the drawer, now he was also blushing and feeling embarrassed. He ran his fingers through his curly hair, also trying to avoid your glance. Well, probably this was the most awkward situation you had with him.

_**"Well, we're wet so let's see what we can do about it."**_ Darren said still avoiding your glance. It sounded bad and he realized it because he got even more nervous. _**"No, I mean...our clothes are wet so we need to take them off or...wait, no. We need to change our clothes, not that we have to take them off. I mean, yes. We have to take them off but not here, not in front of each other, we just... Damn."**_

You were looking at Darren with eyes wide open and raising your eyebrows and he was still avoiding your glance. He was blushing like never before and it was kind of cute to see him that nervous. You didn't say anything at all and then he looked up to you. When he looked at you and you saw his awkward face, you started laughing out loud and he looked at you frowning in surprise before laughing along with you. His reaction was funny and this awkward situation was funny.

_**"Definitely I have to listen to my mom. Next thing to do: Clean my room and make sure everything is presentable for when visitors come to avoid uncomfortable situations like the one we just witnessed." **_Darren said still laughing along with you.

_**"That's a good idea, actually. Mothers are always right."**_ You joked trying to stop your laughter.

_**"I hate it."**_ Darren said smiling amused now feeling less embarrassed. _**"Alright, let's see what I can give you, so you can change your clothes in the bathroom that is right in front of my bedroom." **_Darren said now trying to make sure not to ramble and say embarrassing things which could have double meaning.

_**"Okay."**_ You said smiling amused and you sat on the edge of his bed while Darren started looking for some clothes in his wardrobe.

_**"I hope you like pink. It's the smallest tee shirt I could find. And you can wear these shorts."**_ Darren said pulling out from his wardrobe a pink striped tee and a black pair of gym shorts. Pink? Really, Darren?

_**"Pink is fine."**_ You said shrugging and smiling a bit amused.

_**"Yeah, I love pink. But it's a secret." **_He said giggling but kind of serious, now grabbing some clothes for himself.

_**"My lips are sealed."**_ You answered amused and he laughed softly.

_**"Good to know."**_ He said now walking towards you with the clothes on his hands.

When Darren was walking towards you, he stumbled with something on his way and he fell on the floor, hitting hard his head with the edge of his bed. He moaned in pain rubbing his head and you quickly kneeled next to him, taking him by his shoulders. Your eyes met his and you stared at each other for a while, Darren with a grimace of pain but not complaining.

_**"Are you okay?"**_ You asked gently almost in a whisper, still looking into his beautiful eyes.

_**"I am."**_ He answered as gently, also almost in a whisper, still rubbing his head and looking into your eyes. _**"Now do you believe me when I say I'm as clumsy as you are?"**_ He joked still looking fixedly into your eyes and you chuckled softly. _**"That stupid shoe!"**_ Darren said kicking the shoe with which he stumbled and he stopped rubbing his head so you could see his head bump.

_**"I'm sure that sneaky shoe did it on purpose."**_ You joked while you softly pulled away one of his curls to see better his head bump. _**"It doesn't look so well."**_

But Darren wasn't listening to you, he had no idea what you were talking about; you knew it because after you saw his head bump you looked into his eyes again. He was deeply looking into your eyes and there was a twinkle on his eyes, and then you noticed how his eyes fixed on your mouth with his lips slightly parted. You noticed how he frowned slightly when he looked at your mouth and you didn't understand why he did so; actually at this point you couldn't be aware of anything. The way he was looking at your mouth made you turn on and it drove you crazy, you started making things up in your mind, you were thinking that he maybe wanted to kiss you but it was ridiculous; you just wanted to have the guts to lean over and just do it. But you couldn't because this all was product of your imagination and your desires to kiss this guy you liked way too much since a long time ago. But he was kind of your friend now and you couldn't screw it only for a moment of arousal because of your teenage hormones. You really needed to contain yourself, so you just broke any kind of eye contact with him and you stood up, looking away.

_**"It looks bad; maybe you should put ice on your injury."**_ You said still looking away and you noticed how Darren came back to reality and how he looked at the floor frowning.

_**"Yeah."**_ He answered hoarsely. Then, unexpectedly, he quickly stood up and grabbed his clothes, covering a certain part of his body. _**"I think I'll change in the bathroom and you can change here. See you downstairs, you know the way already."**_ He said slurred and then he kind of ran to the door and left his bedroom, closing the door behind him and leaving you there alone, more bewildered than ever.

_**"Holy shit. What the hell was that?"**_ You whispered puzzled once you were completely alone.

* * *

_**"Fuck, Darren! Fuck, fuck, fuck! What are you doing, man?"**_

I scolded myself while looking in the mirror of the bathroom, still covering my bulge with my clothes. I couldn't believe it, how could I be so stupid? The girl is just a friend and I don't even like her in a romantic way. Why did I have to eye-fuck her like that? Man, she was only touching my hair, she only wanted to see my head bump; but damn her eyes and mouth. Her fucking mouth was so close from mine and I couldn't help it. That mouth, I still couldn't find out where I saw that mouth before, maybe on an actress. Why did I have this need to kiss her again? Why the fuck did I have to look at her in that 'I want to fuck you' way? I didn't even want it. Man, that was so embarrassing, she surely noticed my hard on, she also saw my messy room and she saw that stupid condom package in my nightstand; and to boot, I talked like a real idiot, everything with double meanings even if it wasn't my intention. Shit, what was wrong with me? She'd now think I had an interest in being more than her friend and it wasn't like that.

_**"Or yes? No, no, man! She's Freckles, she's my friend. Dammit, no! Eww, it'd be like being in a love affair with Jen, Claire or Karen. No, it's morbid." **_

I couldn't stop scolding myself, I couldn't get why I got a hard on if we weren't doing anything, not that she was provoking or seducing me. She was only worried because I hit my face, and I, like a wanker, got a bulging stiffy. Well done, Darren!

_**"Stupid hormones, I'm so awkward. Jerk, jerk, jerk." **_

Well, at least the hard on was disappearing now. I was taking too long in the bathroom and I really need to change my clothes to go downstairs where Jen and Freckles were surely waiting for me to plot our plan. Crap, how was I supposed to focus on the plan now? How was I supposed to look at Freckles now? I only wished she wouldn't think I wanted to go all the way with her, because she was only a friend to me. Or not, I didn't know anymore. I decided to stop thinking about that shit because it wasn't leading me anywhere, so I started changing my wet clothes to wear a pair of gray sweatpants and a blue old tee. Before going downstairs, I looked in the mirror and I told myself to behave and not to be awkward, to pretend that nothing has happened. Indeed, Freckles was already there, sitting on the couch next to Jen and the hot chocolate mugs. I looked at her and I couldn't help smiling amused when I saw the way my clothes fitted on her. Of course my clothes were too big for her and it was really funny. I walked to the couch and I sat next to Jen, of course I wouldn't sit next to Freckles.

_**"Here you are, Darren! I thought you got lost in your own house considering how long it took you to come downstairs. You're worse than any girl."**_ Jen mocked giving me a hot chocolate mug. I needed to answer this with a joke to make this situation less uncomfortable for Freckles, who was avoiding my gaze.

_**"I just forgot where I left my organic night face cream. You know I can't miss my facial care moisturizing routine."**_ I answered trying to sound sassy and Jen laughed shaking his head. Even Freckles giggled faintly. Now the situation wasn't so awkward. _**"So, we need to make a plan."**_

_**"Yes, I don't know what was in your mind when you proposed it. Like, there's not so much we can do about." **_Freckles said softly looking at her hot chocolate mug she was grabbing with both of her hands. She was sitting adorably on the couch with her legs crossed.

_**"Well, you're wrong there."**_ I said looking at her and she looked up to me with her huge eyes and with a blankly stare.

_**"So then, what's on your mind?"**_ Jen asked curious, apparently she was thinking the same than Freckles.

_**"Nothing at all. I don't know what we can plan, I only know there must be something we can do about."**_ I said honestly, shrugging. I had no idea what we could do. _**"First off, when has this started and why?"**_ I asked looking at Freckles. Maybe we could plot a plan if we knew exactly why this all was happening.

_**"Well, I guess it started since the first day of school. Yeah, they never bullied me like this last year. I don't know, I think it started when I punched Brian's face."**_ Freckles answered, looking at her hot chocolate mug again, thoughtful. She seemed to be abstracted. _**"You guys know that you may be perfectly out of the bullying situation and safe if you stop talking to me, right?"**_

_**"We do."**_ I answered looking at her.

Damn, it was sad what she was saying. No matter what she could say, I knew she was feeling down by just looking at her sad eyes looking at the hot chocolate mug. I knew she was feeling that this was impossible to believe, that someone was helping her while they could be safe. I knew she was probably feeling as if no one could really do it for her, that she didn't deserve it because she had to go through a lot of shit and no one ever wanted to help her. When I realized it, I understood why she was acting on the defensive, why she was all the time suspecting that someone, no mattered who, wanted to hurt her. And then I understood why Jen was telling me all the time that I should try to understand Freckles. It was because she realized it before me, because she experienced it with her brother.

_**"But we won't stop talking to you. So those assholes need to stay the fuck out and deal with this."**_ I answered with a kind and mischievous smirk and she smiled back at me, faintly. _**"So, if this started when you punched Brian's face, which was awesome just so you know; it only means that Brian is involved, maybe he is W." **_

_**"Well yeah, I think it's obvious that Brian is W. But the problem is that W is not only one person. There's no way that only one person can do everything that is happening to me. I think a girl is also involved and I do think Jim is also involved. And I also think that someone else must be involved, someone who knows me from before because they know private things I've never told almost anyone; and there must be involved someone who knows you both, because they said things that only you know."**_ Freckles started saying and both Jen and I tried to follow the thread of what she was saying.

She was talking really fast and I could barely get all she was saying. But what she was saying had logic and it was very important. I was admiring her by the way she could guess everything that was happening, whether it was in fact like that or not. She was surely all the time thinking and trying to find out who W was.

_**"Point is, I think W is only one person who's getting help from others. I don't know if it makes any sense."**_ Freckles said frowning, still looking at her hot chocolate mug, thoughtful. Well, she was confusing me because she was contradicting herself; minutes before she was saying that W couldn't be only one person and now she was saying the opposite. _**"What I'm trying to say is that this bullying thing was planned by only one person who is surely trying to revenge for something I've done, something that I have no fucking idea of what it could be. But this person can't do it alone, this person needs help, so this person surely managed to find those people who also can't stand me for different reasons I don't know. It explains why this W person knows everything about me: my past, what I'm doing all the time, what I feel, who I was and who I am, and with what this person can mess to make me feel helpless. And it explains why this person also knows things about you guys. Because it makes no sense this person can know my private things and at the same time private things about you, because we weren't friends or anything weeks ago. There are people helping this person, and the people who are helping W can't stand either me or you."**_ Freckles said with an outstanding power of logic.

_**"So...what you're trying to say is...?"**_ I asked still amazed by her reasoning ability.

_**"What I'm trying to say is that this is like a vicious circle in which even the entire school could be involved. We're dealing with only one person who had managed to brainwash other people to be against us and get what this person wants to get, a thing I still don't know. We're dealing with a brilliant and ghoulish mind that is the master of this kind of clan of people who are now willing to do whatever it takes to accomplish the goal of this W person. I don't know what this person could have promised them to do what this person wanted, but it must be something really good, otherwise people who truly know us wouldn't have told W our secrets."**_ Freckles said and then she looked up to me and Jen, now with frightened eyes; but then she looked at her hot chocolate mug again, wide-eyed. _**"I do think Jim and Brian are part of the clan, but neither of them is the leader. This W person wouldn't be so obvious, and Jim and Brian make it clear that they don't stand me. I'm sure this W person is someone who I'd never imagine it could be."**_ Freckles said again looking up to us with the same frightened eyes. _**"But I'm not sure. I don't know anything. It could be like this or not. I just have no idea. Fact is, it's gonna be really hard to find out who W is, this is well planned. Can you understand why I think that beating W is almost impossible?"**_

_**"Whoa!"**_ I exclaimed stunned and puzzled. _**"Yes. This sucks."**_

She totally convinced me with her explanation and conclusions. Everything made sense to me and now I realized on what I was getting. I needed to admit that this was like a horror movie where no mattered what you could do, they will always know what to do to beat you down. But every horror movie can have a good ending, and that was what we had to do: to turn this horror movie into a good one with a happy ending.

_**"I'm scared. A person like that can do everything it takes to accomplish the goal. This is not a simple bullying thing, this is worse and it's going out of control. We need to tell this to an adult who would be able to control this. I don't know, I'm scared. This is really ominous."**_ Jen said with trembling voice and terrified.

_**"No, we can't do that."**_ I said also frightened, even if I was trying to hide it. _**"If we tell this to an adult, it's gonna get worse because they're gonna lose their mind in anger. We're in school, in school is where this is happening and no adult can be in school to protect us, so then they're not gonna be there when shitty and more terrible things come to happen."**_

_**"I don't know what we can do, then."**_ Jen said anguished and in despair.

_**"Guys, you can choose to stay out of this situation. Nothing bad would happen to you if you don't talk to me anymore. I think it's the best."**_ Freckles said sadly and surely feeling guilty, still looking at her hot chocolate mug.

_**"I'm not gonna stay out of this. Not this time." **_Jen assured firmly, looking at Freckles. Of course I knew why Jen was doing it.

_**"I'm a man of words. I said those assholes would have to deal with us together, then that is it all."**_ I assured firmly like Jen. _**"You must tell us absolutely everything: how it begun, all the ways they harassed you and what they said to you. Then, we'll be able to make this plan. But they're not gonna beat us."**_

_**"Okay. Everything started when..."**_

Freckles started telling us everything that happened to her since the beginning. She had to explain us things of her past so then we would understand the whole situation. She told us the entire crappy situation she was going through and how she felt about it, she told us how her family situation was, she told us how she lost her only friends, she told us it all. I've never seen such honesty in her eyes before; she was telling us all of that with all her soul, fears, doubts and concern. I felt really bad for her, I couldn't get why something like this could be happening to someone. I just wanted to hug her and tell her everything was going to be alright, that she had true friends now; but truth was I didn't know if actually everything was going to be alright. Jen, next to me, was already shedding tears unlike me. I couldn't cry for it, because more than sad I was worried about her, I just wanted to take care of her and I had no idea why I had that feeling. I was feeling as though she was like my little sister. Why?

_**"So, I guess that's it all."**_ Freckles said looking at her lap, really distressed, with teary eyes, but without shedding a single tear. Jen couldn't talk because this was obviously very intense for her.

_**"I still don't have a plan. To be honest, I think all of our plans are gonna fail."**_ I finally said frankly and Jen and Freckles looked at me bewildered, scared and kind of disappointed. _**"But I do think we have something they don't have, our most powerful weapon."**_

_**"What is it?"**_ Freckles asked both curious and jaundiced.

_**"It's our desire to be stuck together by a strong bond that is friendship, a real friendship. They don't know what it is and they devalue it, so then they have no chances."**_ I said looking at Jen and Freckles with a kind smile. _**"They don't know how powerful the good and nice intentions are because they're surrounded by wickedness and mean intentions. If there's something I've learned throughout my seventeen years of life, it's that wickedness will lead you nowhere, because it's not as strong as goodness is. And I've learned that everything you do in life will come back to you someday and it will be enhanced. They're gonna sink in their own meanness."**_ I said shrugging while Jen and Freckles were looking at me intently and bemused.

_**"That's beautiful, but I don't get how that is gonna help us in this moment."**_ Jen finally asked.

_**"It'll take a long for us to win and we're gonna have to go through real shit and we're gonna have to stand everything. We're gonna have to be ready to be destroyed, because that's what they're gonna do; they're gonna destroy us and they won't stop until they get it. They'll attack us in the worst ways and we're going to end up broken-down. We gotta admit that fact."**_ I said honestly and I was scaring them even more. But they needed to admit it would be like that, we needed to understand they wouldn't be nice to us.

_**"Darren, that's not helping at all."**_ Jen said with trembling voice. _**"We need to know that we can do this, that nothing bad is going to happen to us."**_

_**"Well, sorry, but I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna say what you want to hear. Because I know that a lot of bad things are going to happen to us. We need to admit it if we really want to find the way to beat them."**_ I said looking at Jen who was still looking at me frightened.

_**"Are you saying we don't have chances?"**_ Freckles asked also frightened and helpless.

_**"No, I'm not saying that."**_ I answered now looking at her deeply into her eyes.

_**"Then explain yourself, Darren!"**_ Jen exclaimed exasperated.

_**"They're gonna destroy us, but we're gonna disconcert them. How? Because what they expect is us to feel helpless and hopeless when we get to be in our lowest point. But they're not gonna get that because we're gonna stick together no matter what. We're gonna show them that yes, they destroyed us, they destroyed all of our dreams, things and hopes; but they couldn't destroy our friendship. They won't understand why they couldn't do it, they'll be really puzzled and that is when their plan is gonna fail, when they will come to realize that they can't do anything else, that we won. As I said, our friendship is our most powerful weapon, something they don't have."**_ I said looking at Jen and Freckles who were still trying to get my point. _**"Thing is, we don't have a plan because we really don't need it as long as we keep in mind that it don't matter what'll come to be, cause our friendship is all we need to make it through." **_

_**"So, is that our plan? Not having a plan?"**_ Jen asked frowning, still thoughtful. _**"Our plan is to be destroyed to win?" **_

_**"Exactly."**_ I said shrugging.

_**"Yes. The best plan is not to have a plan. I think we need to be ready to be destroyed, I personally think this is the only way we can beat a person who has this macabre mind. It's like we're gonna play his or her game the way this person wants, and when this person less expects, she or he is going to realize that the game is over and that we won."**_ Freckles said thoughtful, totally getting what I tried to say. _**"You're brilliant."**_ She said almost in a whisper and I felt totally flattered.

_**"So this is what we're gonna do: tomorrow we're going to school all together and we'll stay together just as long as we can; and we won't let that any kind of threatening message make us change our mind. They're gonna play dirty and they're gonna send us really mean and rough threatening messages which would scare us and we'd want to stop being together. But we won't let them win, no matter what kind of threatening message is."**_ I said emphatically looking at Freckles because I knew she'd want to step back on this plan as soon as they threat her on hurting people she cares about; so she got it and nodded. _**"And when we get time to be alone, we're gonna tell everything that happened to us during all day long. Absolutely everything, without exceptions. Did you get it?"**_

_**"Yes."**_ Jen answered nodding.

_**"Yes."**_ Freckles answered a bit unsure, looking at her lap.

_**"Freckles?"**_ I said looking at her intently and she looked up to me.

_**"Yes, I got it."**_ Now she answered firmly.

_**"Good."**_ I answered smiling and then I stood up. _**"Now we really should get some sleep. Come with me, Freckles. I'll show you your bedroom."**_

_**"Okay."**_ She answered shyly, standing up. Why was she always so shy? Anyway, it was cute.

_**"I guess I'll say goodnight now. I'll sleep in your bedroom, Dar."**_ Jen said standing up and then she smiled kindly before going upstairs.

I looked at Freckles and she nodded, so I led her to our spare room where Jen used to sleep. We walked in silence until we got into the kitchen, right next where the spare room was. I opened the door for her and I gestured her to enter it.

"_**So, this is the bedroom. I hope you can feel comfortable; it's cozy, even though not so many people use it. There are already clean blankets and quilts, and well, you have a bathroom over there. I think there's an unused toothbrush in the bathroom vanity, feel free to use it. And yeah, that's it all."**_ I said smiling kindly at her while she was looking around. _**"If you need anything, you know where my bedroom is. Don't hesitate to go there if you need anything at all."**_

_**"Okay, thank you, Darren."**_ She smiled sweetly and kindly. Wow, she was a really nice girl, how was it possible that someone could hate her?

_**"You're welcome."**_ I smiled back at her. _**"Goodnight, Freckles."**_

_**"Goodnight, Darren."**_ She said sweetly and then, impulsively, I leaned over to kiss her cheek and...Damn hell, she hugged me. _**"I'm sorry; I just wanted to thank you for what you and Jen are doing."**_ She said feeling embarrassed after breaking the hug.

Instead answering her, I hugged her again, caressing smoothly her hair. I didn't know why I did it, I just felt it was the right thing and it felt good. After all, it was only a hug and she was my friend now. And besides, I really needed to let her know with this hug that I was going to be there for her because what she told us earlier touched me. Then I pulled her away softly to kiss her forehead.

_**"Don't feel ashamed and never apologize for hug me. I'm your friend, remember?"**_ I said smiling kindly and she nodded, smiling back. _**"Have a good sleep."**_

I closed the door behind me, leaving her alone in the bedroom and I walked to my own bedroom with this weird feeling. I liked that hug, maybe way too much; and I couldn't tell if it was a good or bad thing. When I arrived to my bedroom, I tried not to make any noise because Jen was already there sleeping. Fortunately, my bed was big enough, so there could sleep two people and I had no shame to sleep in the same bed than Jen because she was my best friend since years and we both knew that anything else was going to happen because it wouldn't work. More than my best friend, Jen was like the sister I've never had. Indeed, Jen was already sleeping and she made room for me to sleep, so I just lay in bed and I closed my eyes. But I couldn't fall asleep as fast as usual. No, I was very thoughtful.

_**"Dar, are you asleep?"**_ I suddenly heard Jen's voice whispering and it made me startle because I really thought she was sleeping.

_**"No, I can't sleep."**_ I whispered, still with closed eyes.

_**"Me either."**_ Jen whispered. "_**Dar, may I ask you something?" **_

_**"Yeah."**_

_**"Why are you doing this? I mean, my reasons are obvious, because she reminds me of my brother. But, why you?"**_ Jen asked curious and I was speechless. Truth was I didn't even know why I was doing it.

_**"I don't know. Maybe it's because at some point she reminds me of myself when I was a kid."**_ I answered just as honest as possible. Maybe that was the reason but, deep down, I knew that wasn't the complete answer. I knew there was something else but I just couldn't tell what it was.

_**"I get it."**_ Jen answered in a whisper and I thought she fell asleep because she was silent for a long time, but no. _**"Darren, what was happening between you and Freckles when I found you in that place?"**_

_**"Nothing was happening, Jen."**_ I answered kind of nervous. Why did she have to mention it again?

_**"Darren, I'm not a fool and I'm your friend since years, I know you."**_ Jen insisted serious.

"_**Well, I was just tickling her. She was feeling bad and I wanted to make her laugh."**_ I whispered and it was the truth, but again it wasn't the complete answer.

_**"Yes, sure. But why were you with her in the first place?" **_

_**"Because I asked her if she could go there. I wanted to know what was going on with you and her. And I thought it was a good place to find it out. That's why."**_ I admitted frankly.

_**"It makes sense."**_ Jen whispered and I noticed she was shrugging. Damn, I only wished she could fall asleep soon because I didn't want to talk about this any longer. _**"Darren, what was happening between you and her when I found you?"**_

_**"Are you kidding me, Jen? I already answered it." **_I answered in disbelief.

_**"Yes, you did. But you didn't tell me everything. As I said, I know you, Dar." **_

_**"I don't wanna talk about this, Jen."**_ I said a bit annoyed because I really didn't want to tell her everything. Yes, I always told her everything but this time I couldn't because first I needed to find out what was happening to me.

_**"But there's something else, right?"**_

_**"Yes, there's something else."**_ I admitted because I couldn't lie to her. _**"But I don't wanna talk about it."**_

_**"Why not?"**_ She asked curious and I noticed she was now looking at me.

_**"Because I still don't know what actually happened. That's it, Jen, stop talking about this."**_ I whispered again, annoyed.

_**"What are your feelings for her?"**_ Jen asked and I finally opened my eyes to look at her bewildered. Why was she asking me that?

_**"I don't know. She's my friend."**_ I answered after thinking what my answer could be.

_**"Yes, I think she's my friend too."**_ Jen answered in a whisper and I thought that hopefully she'd change the subject now. _**"What do you like about her?"**_

_**"I don't know, Jen."**_ I sighed, really trying to change the subject, but Jen was still looking at me as if she was waiting for the answer. So I just answered. _**"I don't know, she seems to be a sweet and kind girl, she's always smiling, even though she had to go through crappy things. I kind of admire her because she keeps going and she's always trying to change things, she's not giving up as I'd do if I were in her shoes. I like her eyes, there's something in her eyes that can let you know how she really feels. I like the fact that she seems to be a warm-hearted girl and I like how grateful she is about everything, she is very grateful even for the smallest things. And she's smart and she doesn't flaunt her intelligence. I like the way she thinks about life, people and world itself. I like the fact that she's eerie and I want to know her more, she's intriguing. And I like her laugh because it sounds so genuine and candid. She's kind of awesome."**_

_**"That was beautiful."**_ Jen whispered gently and I got nervous because I totally forgot I was telling her all of that, that was something I only thought in my mind and there were things that only popped in my mind in that moment, things that I didn't even know I was feeling for her._** "Dar... Are you falling for her?"**_

_**"What? Oh my god, Jen! That's the most ridiculous and nonsense thing that you've ever asked."**_ I exclaimed in disbelief but feeling nervous. Why was I feeling nervous? Because it was a stupid question.

_**"You aren't answering, though." **_

_**"I can't believe this. No Jen, of course I'm not falling for her. You know I like that cheerleader."**_ I answered in disbelief and disgruntled.

_**"Fine, fine. I just wanted to make sure of that. I wouldn't like to see her hurt because you're not sure if you're falling for her or not; because I still think she's kind in love with you. Not that you're a bad person and I don't want you to be with her, actually I think that you two would make a nice couple; but she doesn't deserve to suffer for love too."**_ Jen whispered with complete honesty.

_**"Oh my god. Jen, stop it, okay? Just stop it." **_I answered even more disgruntled. _**"I'm not falling for her, that's ridiculous. And it's also absurd that you think she's in love with me, that's insane. And more insane is the fact that you think that we would make a nice couple. No. Just no. And I won't make her suffer, that's not on my list of things to do."**_

_**"No need to get angry, Dar. I wanted to make sure. That's it all, geez!"**_ Jen exclaimed surprised by my over-demonstrative answer. _**"I still think you would make a nice couple, though."**_

_**"For god's sake, Jen! Stop it, okay? Goodnight. I don't wanna talk to you anymore."**_ I said bad-tempered and I heard how Jen giggled softly. She was mocking me, how funny!

_**"Goodnight, Dar. Sweet dreams with that genuine and candid laugh of Freckles." **_Jen mocked and I hit her with one of my cushions while she was still laughing.

Even if I denied it, Jen left me thinking. Could I be falling for Freckles? That was impossible, I could only see her like my friend and I never thought of having a love affair with her. No, I couldn't be falling for her, it just made no sense. However, I fell asleep thinking about Freckles.

* * *

Next day, you woke up in a cozy bed, smelling the scent of Darren Criss, what made you smile warmly. Then you realized where you were sleeping and what you were wearing. You were in Darren's house and you were wearing his clothes and it explained why you smelled his delicious scent. It was 7am and within an hour you had to go to school. You didn't know how you managed to wake up since you've slept only 3 hours. Oh, you didn't want to leave this place, you wanted to sleep a little more, just smelling Darren's scent. You closed your eyes again with a smile on your face and you drowsed a little until you heard some voices coming from the kitchen.

_**"Mom, please. What if she doesn't like this stupid healthy breakfast?"**_ Darren complained and you giggled softly.

_**"Darren, manners. How many times do I have to tell you not to curse?"**_ A woman's voice answered. It had to be his mother._** "And she's going to like it. You're the only one who complains about this breakfast." **_

_**"Hey, that's not true. I don't like this breakfast either."**_ You heard a young man's voice complaining.

_**"Thanks, Chuck."**_ Darren said. So that was Chuck's voice, Darren's brother. _**"Mom, really! This is the first time she's here and I don't want her to eat this shit."**_

_**"I think someone is keen to make her feel pampered."**_ Chuck laughed mockingly and you couldn't help giggling softly.

_**"I told him the same thing last night."**_ You heard Jen's voice laughing.

What? So Jen and Darren had been talking about you last night when you were sleeping. You wondered what they could have talked about. You were now really intrigued.

_**"Shut up, you idiots!"**_ Darren yelled kind of annoyed.

_**"Darren Everett Criss! Don't play with the food! Go now over there and grab the grape you've just threw."**_ You heard an old man's voice scolding Darren. His father, you thought.

_**"Yes, dad. Sorry."**_ Darren said apologetically.

_**"Everett! Stop throwing the grapes! I saw you."**_ His dad scolded him again. It was funny to imagine Darren throwing grapes to his brother or Jen.

_**"Yes, yes, I'm sorry!"**_ Darren apologized again.

_**"Dad!"**_ You heard Chuck's voice complaining.

_**"Enough, Everett! Don't hit your brother's head."**_ His father scolded him and you laughed. It seemed that his parents called him Everett every time they were scolding him.

_**"But dad!" **_

_**"No buts." **_

_**"Ugh! I hate you, Charles."**_ Darren grumbled.

_**"Okay, breakfast is done. Darren, tell your friend that it's ready."**_ Her mom's voice said kindly.

_**"Jen, can you wake Freckles up?"**_ Darren asked.

_**"After you threw me a grape? I don't think so."**_ Jen answered.

_**"Oh, come on, Jen! I'm sorry, okay? I just can't go there and wake her up. You're a girl."**_ Darren said trying to convince Jen.

_**"And what if I'm a girl? You can do it by yourself."**_ Jen replied.

_**"Because you're a girl, Jen. I can't go there. What if she's doing those weird things that girls do? What if she doesn't sleep with clothes? I just can't go there; it'd be awkward both for me and her."**_ Darren said kind of exasperated and it made you chuckle.

_**"Oh my God, Darren. How old are you? Five?"**_ Chuck mocked amused.

_**"Stay the fuck out of this, Charles."**_ Darren answered grumpy. _**"Please, Jen! Please!" **_

_**"Sorry, Darren. I'm trying to finish this homework." **_Jen answered.

_**"Screw you, Jen! Now dare to ask me to do a favor for you!"**_ Darren said grouchy.

_**"As far as I remember, you're the one who's always asking me to do favors."**_ Jen answered with a giggle.

_**"Whatever, whatever, Jen! I'm not listening to you!"**_ Darren yelled as a kid.

You heard how everyone in the kitchen laughed out loud and then you heard some steps coming closer to the room where you were sleeping. You pretended to be asleep because it could be funnier that way. You heard how he opened the door but he stood there.

_**"Freckles?"**_ You heard Darren's shy voice. _**"Freckles, are you asleep?" **_Of course you didn't answer. _**"Freckles, breakfast is ready. We soon have to go to school."**_

You didn't answer and you didn't make any kind of movement, so you heard how Darren walked to your bed. Why were you doing this? Were you doing this because you thought it could be funny or because you wanted Darren to touch you to wake you up? Anyway, Darren was now standing next to your bed.

_**"Freckles, wake up."**_ Darren said again but you didn't open your eyes, you were still pretending to be asleep.

So then, after a while you didn't do any kind of movement, Darren knelt next to your bed and he leaned closer to you. You felt how he placed his soft and firm hand on your shoulder. Oh, it felt so good.

_**"Freckles, wake up. Breakfast is ready."**_ Darren whispered gently in your ear, but you kept your eyes closed because you wanted to know what else he could do.

He didn't talk anymore and you wondered why, yet he kept his hand placed on your shoulder. Then you felt how he softly brushed away the strand of hair that was covering your face and after he did it, he caressed your cheek with his thumb. Holy shit, you weren't expecting that and it was just feeling very nice that you didn't want to open your eyes. You wanted this moment to last forever, he caressing your cheek was something that was making you feel really good and you couldn't understand why your body didn't start to tremble with excitement. Then you felt how he leaned over closer to you and you could feel his breathing against your face. You knew he was very close and that was making your heart leap and beat fast. You felt how he brushed his lips at the corner of your mouth, very slightly. Holy crap, what was he doing? Oh damn, you were going to have a heart attack; you couldn't keep your eyes closed any longer. So you opened your eyes and you found Darren looking into your eyes, still brushing his lips at the corner of your mouth. When he noticed you opened your eyes, he quickly stood up with a terrified face and moved away from you awkwardly, so awkward that he stumbled with his own legs.

_**"Oh shit! I...I just...breakfast is ready."**_ Darren said nervously and he turned around to leave your bedroom as fast as possible without preamble, leaving you there alone.

Oh no, no, no. What was that? Why has Darren done it? He surely thought you were sleeping, but you weren't and you had no idea what he wanted to do or why he was doing it. It was just too odd. First it was in Marin Headlands, then in his bedroom, and now this. What did he want? It was obvious that he didn't want to have a love affair with you; because it was impossible for different and several reasons. In the first place, you weren't the kind of girl someone would fall in love with; you were just that unnoticeable nerd girl, who didn't have anything attractive, and you weren't his type, you knew it. Secondly, Darren could certainly have any girl he wanted because he was attractive, nice and gracious; why would he want to be with you, then? Thirdly, you knew he liked another girl, considering the threatening message he received; a message that mentioned that he surely wouldn't like everybody to find out he wanted to fuck a girl, and that girl couldn't be you because he never showed you any romantic interest before you were in Marin Headlands, and in any case you were sure it wasn't a romantic one. So then, what was going on? He must be confused, because, after all, you were a girl and you and him were so close all of a sudden; maybe it was an instinctive reaction what he had but it didn't mean he wanted to be more than you friend. However, the way Darren caressed your cheek, the way he brushed his lips at the corner of your mouth and the way he was looking at you when you opened your eyes, made you feel really good; because after all, anyone has ever done something like that with you. This was a new thing what you recently experienced. Anyway, you had to change your clothes because everybody was waiting for you to have breakfast; and that was when you realized that your clothes weren't there, you left them in the laundry room. Damn it. It was embarrassing the fact that his parents and brother would meet you like this, wearing Darren's clothes. Why nothing could go well? You didn't even know what you would say or do, they never met you but there you were, sleeping in one of their rooms. Shyly, you walked to the door but you stood there for several minutes before opening it and walk out. All eyes turned to you and you felt as though you were a kind of novel object. All of them were already sitting on the table, waiting for you. This was very uncomfortable and you didn't know what to say.

_**"Good morning."**_ You greeted shyly but politely, smiling.

_**"Good morning, sweetie."**_ A woman of Filipino traits with dark hair and eyes, greeted gently, smiling to you. She had to be his mother. She walked towards you and took your arm softly. _**"I'm Cerina, Darren's mother."**_

_**"It's nice to meet you, Mrs. Criss."**_ You said smiling politely.

_**"It's my pleasure. Darren has told us a lot about you, so it's really nice to finally meet you."**_ Mrs. Criss said kindly and you looked at her in surprise but still smiling.

_**"Mom..."**_ Darren warned from the table.

_**"What? Nervous that your secrets will be revealed, Dazzer?" **_A young man, but older than Darren, mocked from the table.

_**"Shut up."**_ Darren said grouchy.

_**"I'm Charles, Darren's older bro. But call me Chuck."**_ Chuck said smiling both amused and kind.

_**"Nice to meet you, Chuck."**_ You said smiling kindly.

_**"Let me introduce myself."**_ An old man of Irish traits, with blue eyes and white hair, who was wearing a khaki beret, said politely, walking towards you. _**"I'm Bill, Darren's father."**_ He said stretching out his hand.

_**"Nice to meet you, Mr. Criss."**_ You said smiling gently. You surely seemed a stupid because all you could say was 'nice to meet you' and smile like a fool.

_**"I saw a black beret in the laundry room. Darren told me it's yours. I guess you and I will have a lot to talk about."**_ Mr. Criss said laughing cheerfully and so did everybody in the room.

_**"I told you that Bill would like you, Freckles." **_Jen said smiling amused. _**"I'm Jen, by the way, but we already know each other."**_ Jen joked obviously because she noticed how uncomfortable you were.

_**"And I'm Darren."**_ Darren joked as well.

_**"The guy who is trying to pamper you."**_ Chuck coughed and giggled mockingly and Darren threw him a grape. You couldn't help giggling softly.

_**"Shut up, Charles! I'm gonna punch your face, you know? You know?"**_ Darren threatened Chuck, grouchy.

_**"Everett!"**_ Mr. Criss said firmly.

_**"Sorry, dad! But he's taunting me! Ugh!"**_ Darren exclaimed frustrated, shooting a withering look at his brother.

_**"Hey, I didn't do anything!"**_ Chuck said laughing amused.

_**"Boys, behave."**_ Mrs. Criss said looking at her sons and then she looked at you kindly._** "I'm sorry, sweetie, this always happens. If you keep visiting us, what I'd love, you're gonna get used. Now I know you might be feeling nervous and uncomfortable, the first time you meet your friends' family is like that. So, we're gonna try to make you feel like home." **_

_**"Yes, there's no need to feel nervous. We're glad to have you here."**_ Mr. Criss said smiling kindly.

_**"Thank you very much."**_ You answered smiling shyly.

_**"Come on, sweetie. Let's have breakfast. I hope you like healthy breakfasts."**_ Mrs. Criss said politely, leading you to the table.

_**"Yes, I always have healthy breakfasts."**_ You lied, but that breakfast didn't look so bad.

_**"I told you, Darren, that she was going to like it."**_ Mrs. Criss said looking at Darren.

_**"Oh please, mom. She's lying. Of course she wouldn't tell you this breakfast sucks, because she still doesn't have the confidence to say so."**_ Darren said frowning and looking at the breakfast in disgust.

_**"It's not like that. I really like healthy breakfasts."**_ You said again trying to sound convincing, sitting between Darren and Jen.

_**"Yeah, whatever."**_ Darren said rolling his eyes before eating a strawberry. _**"Anyway, I'm starving so I'm just gonna eat this shit."**_ He said with his mouth full of food.

_**"Everett, don't talk with your mouth full."**_ Mrs. Criss said severely as any other mother.

_**"Whatever."**_ Darren answered still with his mouth full.

_**"Hey, Darren. Your clothes fit better on your girl than on you."**_ Chuck said looking at you and Darren amused. He surely loved mocking his little brother. Anyway, you felt kind of embarrassed because of the way you were dressed.

_**"Fuck you, Chuck."**_ Darren answered with his mouth full, now putting in his mouth a spoonful of cereal with milk. Gosh, this boy was eating like a caveman or something.

_**"You're gonna be punished, Everett."**_ Mr. Criss said severely looking at his son.

_**"What? Chuck started! Why do you always scold me instead him? So fucking unfair, man."**_ Darren exclaimed in disbelief, spitting some of the cereals he was eating.

_**"Don't worry, Freckles. You are really gonna get used at this."**_ Jen whispered in your ear amused and you chuckled softly.

Darren's family was very different from yours. They were like the family you always wanted to have. Not that you didn't love your family, but your relationship with your sister was terrible and your parents were really strict and cold, always busy and thinking about work. So you barely had a breakfast with your family, and the times you could have breakfast with them, it was always everything really serious. You were amazed by the way everything seemed natural and cheerful in Darren's family. They talked a lot, they laughed and they asked each other how they were or what they would do. You barely spoke, because you were just contemplating and admiring the adorable Criss family. Somehow, they made you feel really comfortable on their presence, and you weren't expecting this when you crossed the door of the room where you were sleeping earlier. When breakfast was finished and after you helped them to clear the table, Mrs. Criss gave you your now dry clothes and you went to the room where you slept to change, while Jen and Darren were getting ready to go to school. Once you were ready, and feeling like a stupid for having to go to school dressed like this, you joined Darren and Jen in the living room.

_**"Okay, I'm ready."**_ You told them and they looked up to you smiling. You had no idea how you were going to go to school.

_**"Cool. We're waiting for a friend to pick us up."**_ Darren said smiling and trying to finish some maths homework, apparently he was frustrated. You walked closer to see what kind of exercise Darren had to do.

_**"A metal statue was divided into 5 parts, and packed in crates for shipping. That means that we have 5 crates. Each full crate weighs 520lbs, and 20lbs empty. That means that the crate itself weight 20lbs, so the statue part inside of it weight 500. We have 5 crates with the same condition. So, 5x crates it's 5 parts of statue that weight 500 each without the crate. 500 times 5 is equal to 2500 lb. That's the weight of the statue. I hope I helped you."**_ You answered looking at Darren's notebook and then you looked up to find Darren and Jen looking at you amazed and puzzled.

_**"Oh my fucking god. How the hell did you do it?"**_ Darren asked stunned.

_**"I guess I'm good at math."**_ You said smiling and shrugging.

_**"Oh geez! You saved me Freckles, you have no idea how much I love you right now. Tell me the answer again but slower, please!"**_ Darren exclaimed excited and still stunned and you giggled softly.

You told him the answer again while Darren was taking down notes, writing the answer and less frustrated now. After he finished it, he thanked you again, he told you again that you saved him and he told you that he couldn't believe that a Junior girl could have got the answer of a mathematical problem of Senior year. Jen also flattered you until someone knocked the door. Darren stood up to open the door and he hugged a girl that you saw once in the first day of school, it was one of Darren's friends.

_**"I thought you've forgotten to pick us up!"**_ Darren exclaimed cheerfully.

_**"Never, Dar."**_ The girl answered smiling kindly and then she looked right where Jen and you were frowning and curious. _**"Seems that today we're gonna arrive to school in droves."**_ The girl laughed cheerfully. _**"Hi, Jen."**_

_**"Hi, how are you doing?"**_ Jen answered politely.

_**"Fine."**_ The girl shrugged and then she looked at you. _**"Hi...Umm?"**_

_**"Oh, right! You don't know each other." **_Darren said. _**"Karen, this is Freckles. Freckles, this is Karen."**_ Darren said gently and you smiled at Karen.

_**"Freckles?"**_ Karen asked in disbelief, laughing.

_**"Yeah, it's a long story."**_ Darren answered also laughing softly.

_**"Well, nice to meet you...Freckles."**_ Karen said both kindly and a bit mockingly.

_**"Nice to meet you too."**_ You answered smiling faintly. You noticed how Jen rolled her eyes and huffed.

_**"We should go to school or we're gonna be late."**_ Jen said serious.

_**"Well, what are we waiting for, then? The car it's outside."**_ Karen said turning around.

_**"Yeah...Karen?"**_ Darren asked looking at her. _**"We're gonna be there in a minute. There's something I want to talk to them first."**_

_**"Yes, sure. I'll wait for you."**_ Karen said frowning but smiling gently before she walked to the red car that was parked in front of Darren's house.

_**"Girls. Are you ready for our first day of school according to our plan?"**_ Darren asked in a whisper looking intently at you and Jen.

_**"Yes."**_ Jen and you answered at the same time.

_**"Good. Remember, W and his or her allies are gonna try to bring us down all the time, they're gonna try to scare us and we don't know how far they can go. But remember, we need to stick together no matter what. Deal?"**_ Darren asked still looking intently at you and Jen.

_**"Deal."**_ Jen and you responded in unison.

_**"We got this shit. Let's kick some ass."**_ Darren said encouragingly before you all walked to the red car to go to school and face those bullies and their worst threats, this time all together. But deep down, you were freaking out and more when you received your first threatening message from W.

**"You are not following the rules, big ass. You want to play dirty? Dirty is what you're gonna get. Be ready to be fucked up. -W-"**


	7. Coffee, pictures and drinks

**Teenage Dream – Part 7 – Coffee, pictures and drinks.**

* * *

The way to school was very entertaining. Karen seemed to be a really funny person, she wouldn't stop making you laugh, and Darren and Karen together were like the funniest people in world, they should be comedians. At first, of course, the situation was kind of uncomfortable because neither you nor Karen knew each other, but then she started joking and it was nice. It seemed that all of Darren's friends were this nice to you and you couldn't get why, you couldn't get why people in general were nice to you sometimes. Maybe as you thought once, there was still good people in world. When you arrived at school, you were really nervous because you honestly didn't know what could happen. Of course, when you arrived everybody looked at you in a weird way not only because you were walking with Darren, Jen and Karen, but also because you were wearing those stupid clothes. When you were walking, a man's voice you recognized yelled behind you.

_**"How interesting! Pimple face thinks she's French! Hey, let me tell you something, you're in the wrong place! Have you forgotten what the way to go to Pimple's world is? You belong to that place! Get your fat ass away from here; I don't wanna screw my eyes by looking at your pimples."**_ Brian yelled arrogantly.

_**"As for me, I'd rather to live in that Pimple's world than living in the world of assholes who think are cool but cannot even match those dirt-cheap clothes you're wearing and, therefore, they look absurdly and excessively grotesque. Man, you really need to be reborn three times to see if you can even wear a decent shirt. What's the problem with you?"**_ Darren answered defiantly, looking at Brian.

_**"You Criss, stay the fuck out of this. Don't forget that I'm still waiting for the precise moment that I'm gonna kick your ass to bring you down and to listen to you begging me to stop like a momma's boy."**_ Brian threatened Darren.

_**"Bring it on, then. Let's see who's gonna be the one begging to stop like a momma's boy; you dickhead." **_Darren challenged Brian, walking closer to him and Jen placed a hand on his shoulder to stop him.

_**"Oh right. I forgot that you're a lady who needs ladies help to win a fight. Tell me, Criss...How it felt to be saved by a nerd and fat ass girl? I bet you gave her a good damn fuck to reward that whore. How was it, Criss? Does she also have pimples on her bearded clam? Does she have a big cum dumpster, Criss?"**_ Brian said maliciously and viciously, smiling vilely; now facing Darren face to face, they were only six inches away.

_**"You suck, you fuckin' junkie. Why don't you take this and stick it in your ass?"**_ Darren said madly, gesturing a fuck you sign with his hand.

_**"I'll let you to do it to yourself, you friggin faggot."**_ Brian said getting even closer to Darren.

_**"That's all you got? Wow, how sad. Say, wanna blow me?"**_ Darren faced Brian, stepping closer. Damn, they were so close.

_**"Darren, let's go. We shouldn't waste our precious time with that douchebag."**_ You said looking at Brian defiantly, taking Darren by his arm.

_**"Look, the big ass wants to hook up with the faggot."**_ Brian laughed viciously.

_**"Well, at least I have someone to hook up with, unlike you, who can get a blowjob only if you pay for it. How sad."**_ You said raising an eyebrow and looking at him provocatively. Both Jen and Darren were looking at you puzzled and stunned, while Brian was looking at you furiously.

_**"The fact I wouldn't hump you doesn't mean that I can't hump any girl I want. I just don't get laid with girls with a fucking big ass."**_ Brian said wickedly and you just laughed bitterly, what disconcerted him.

_**"Funny. You know what? I maintain my big ass so more people can kiss it, you piece of shit."**_ You said still laughing bitterly and you finally turned around, turning your back to him.

When you turned around you sensed how Brian was about to jump on you to strike you, but you were faster. You turned around again and without thinking twice, you punched Brian's face really hard, so hard that your fist was aching now. You made him bleed, his nose was bleeding now and he was looking at you in a rage. He pounced on you, but Darren stepped between you both and he pushed Brian, making him fall on the floor.

_**"Fuck off, jackass!"**_ Darren yelled at Brian, who was still on the floor. _**"Let's go girls."**_

Darren intertwined an arm with yours and he intertwined his other arm with Jen's arm and you walked away from Brian. Karen, who was observing the whole situation astonished, followed you. All the people who were also observing the situation astonished started walking away from Brian, gossiping shit. So then, the terrible day has begun in a crappy way as it was expected. When you were really away and you were in front of Darren's locker, your phone buzzed. But not only your phone buzzed, Darren and Jen's phones buzzed at the same time.

**"Well, well. The game is gettin' more exciting, suckers. That was an enthralling but blockhead movement. Is this the way you want to play? Brilliant, you all are gonna wail when you find out you're completely bludgeoned and defeated. -W-"**

You looked at Darren and Jen to find they were also looking at you, the three of you a bit scared and looking around nervously. Karen, meanwhile, was looking at the three of you frowning and curious.

_**"What's going on?"**_ Karen asked.

_**"Nothing, Karen." **_Darren answered putting his phone on his pocket. _**"Just that today we won't have drama class."**_ He lied and looked away. _**"I'm late; I have to go to safety and health class. Sorry guys, see you later."**_

_**"Me too. I have to go to math."**_ Jen said grabbing her books from her locker.

_**"Yes, I have science class now and my teacher is gonna kill me if I'm late. I guess I'll see you on lunch, guys."**_ Karen said and she turned around to leave.

_**"Guys!"**_ You said before Jen and Darren could leave you alone.

_**"Not now, Freckles. See you on lunch. Please, take care."**_ Darren whispered and he turned around, but then he returned. _**"Before leaving, give me your phone number to keep in touch, just in case."**_

_**"Yes, sure."**_ You answered and you gave it to him.

_**"Cool. See you later, Freckles."**_ Darren said smiling softly before he left with Jen.

When you were alone, you looked around to see if there was a suspicious person, but you couldn't find anyone. You needed to keep in mind what you planned with Darren and Jen; W couldn't make you change your mind. You walked alone to your English class, hoping not to encounter any unwanted person. Nothing bad happened and you sat in your class, without paying attention at all. Your mind was just too busy thinking about who W could be. Then it was when your phone buzzed again and, scared, you read the text message.

**"You turned out to be a real selfish bitch. Just because I'm nice, I'm going to anticipate what will happen next: Criss and Nedeau will suffer because of your fault. I'm going to defeat them before destroying you, so you won't miss the show. Should it be a horror or thriller show? Maybe both. Get your popcorns, fat ass! -W-" **

Oh damn, stupid W. That was a morbid text message and yes, it scared you. But then you read it again and you realized something. W knew Darren and Jen's last names. And this was the first time that W talked in first-person singular instead first-person plural. This was corroborating that your theory was right. W was only one person who was getting help from others. That was a big step. You needed to show Darren and Jen that you weren't so wrong after all. For a reason, even if it was a tough text message, you felt better. And that was when your phone buzzed again, four times.

**"You were awesome earlier! You totally kicked that asshole's ass! Huzzah for you!" **

**"Oh, I forgot. Just in case you didn't notice, I'm the 'friggin faggot' with whom you hook up." **

**"I was totally joking. I'm Darren, just Darren and this is my number."**

**"So, how's your class going so far? Here's so fucking boring!"**

You looked at his texts and you couldn't help smiling like a fool. He could always make you smile no matter what. How was it even possible? You never texted during a class, but this time you could make an exception.

To Darren:** First off: How can you text this fast? Secondly: I needed to kick his ass someday, right? Thirdly: I know it was a joke. Sorry about that, I needed to tell him something to shut his mouth out. Fourthly: Yo, you should be paying attention in class, I'm not going to solve your math problems forever.**

From Darren:** I'm a genius when it comes to texting, I'm so cool! BEST. ASS. KICK. EVER.! Yeah, don't worry about it, I don't mind. Actually, I think it was hotstuff! And hey, the fourth thing you said was so mean! In any case, you're not paying attention either. ;)**

To Darren:** I'm not texting you back.**

From Darren:** Oh, but you did. ;)**

You looked at his last text and you giggled softly, trying not to laugh too loud so no one would hear you. You put your phone in your pocket decided not to text him back this time, and to try to pay attention in class. But your phone buzzed again and you couldn't just not to look at it.

"**Twinkle twinkle little whore, close your legs you're not a door. You're gonna catch an STD, you're only wanted cause you're free… Twinkle twinkle little whore, you're cheaper than the dollar store. –W-"**

Great, such a way to ruin your mood. You just couldn't have a good time because W was always there to screw it and you were getting tired of it, even though you were still scared. Of course W was saying this because of what you said earlier to Brian, about you and Darren, which was obviously a lie. Resigned and bad tempered now, you put your phone aside and you tried to pay attention in class, what worked until your phone buzzed again.

From Darren:** Freckles, are you serious? Why wouldn't you text me anymore? I'm boooored, man!**

To Darren:** I'm not a man and I'm not your jester.**

From Darren:** Whoa! You mad?**

To Darren:** No.**

You didn't mean to treat Darren this rough and tough, but you just couldn't help it. You wanted to find out who W was once and for all. So right now you weren't in mood to text and less to be jokey or perky.

From Darren:** I totally failed safety and health course today.**

That was what Darren texted you, randomly. It was as if he didn't get why you were being so curtly and then he changed the subject all of a sudden. Anyway, you texted him back.

To Darren:** How did you manage that?**

From Darren:** Well, one of the questions was: In the event of a fire, what steps would you take?**

To Darren:** And...**

From Darren:** 'Fucking large ones' was apparently the wrong answer.**

To Darren: **Omg.**

Was he serious? How could he just answer something like that? Maybe that was a joke, but it sounded as something as Darren would do for real. Anyway, you had to admit that it was an original and witty answer. And that text message made you giggle and forget about W. Well, Darren had that effect on you.

From Darren: **What did the ocean say to the other ocean?**

To Darren: **What?**

From Darren: **Nothing, they just waved.**

To Darren: **Oh...**

From Darren: **Do you 'sea' what I did there?**

To Darren: **No...**

From Darren: **I'm 'shore' you did!**

To Darren: **How do you have friends?**

From Darren: **Hey! Don't be such a 'beach'!**

To Darren: **Omfg, Darren. You're impossible.**

From Darren: **Whatever, I can see you laughing!**

To Darren: **That you wish!**

From Darren: **I could keep goin', yo know?**

To Darren: **Please, don't. Remind me why I gave you my number.**

From Darren: **Cause I'm adorable and funny! ;)**

To Darren: **Bye, Darren, bye.**

From Darren: **That fought me and taught me that friends never say, never say goodbyeeeee!**

To Darren: **Wow. You're Elton John! May I get an autograph?**

From Darren: **Too busy. But I'll consider it just because I'm nice. Lunch on the tree?**

To Darren: **Sounds good.**

From Darren: **See ya later! ;)**

To Darren: **See ya, smileys whore.**

From Darren: **Best compliment ever! :) :)**

To Darren: **Oh boy.**

From Darren: **:)**

Definitely Darren got it, he made you smile like fool and he made you laugh like an idiot. And thanks to him, you texted in the middle of a class for the first time; for the very first time you didn't pay attention in class. So now you knew how it felt to be texting in class with a friend and now you understood why people used to do it a lot. Because it was just so funny and because you could smile; even if the class was the most boring class in the planet. Yes, you had no idea about this before. And Darren was just this goofy and dork guy that you couldn't hold your feelings for him; it seemed as if every new thing you were getting to know about him, was only making you fall harder for him. And that was a problem.

* * *

So the day in school has started just in the way I expected. First, that asshole, Brian, who started saying senseless and rude things. Man, I wanted to punch him straight in his face! But I didn't do it thanks to Freckles and her damn amazing artfulness. I was super surprised when she stood in front of him and she faced him that way, she seemed so strong and for the first time she felt superior to Brian. No wait, it was for the third time. Yeah, the first time was when she punched that asshole in the Spanish class and the second time it was when we had that terrible fight. Whatever, she was amazing. It was amazing the way Brian was looking at her not knowing what to say, and when he tried to punch her but she was faster and she gave him his due. So it wasn't so bad the way the day started, but then we all received an anonymous text message from W.

**"Well, well. The game is gettin' more exciting, suckers. That was an enthralling but a blockhead movement. This is the way you want to play? Brilliant, you all are gonna wail when you find out you're completely bludgeoned and defeated. -W-"**

If this was the way W was all the time harassing Freckles, then I realized how strong she was. I mean, this was not nice at all and any other person would have given up, but she didn't. Yes, she was about to give up, but now, and considering how she acted with Brian earlier, I could tell she was finally facing those assholes. To be honest, I was afraid she couldn't keep going with the plan, but I was wrong. And she gave me her number, I finally had her number. I was pretty excited to have it, and I didn't know why I was that excited. It was as if now I'd be able to talk to her whenever I wanted without having to worry if someone hears us or not. And there was another reason why I was excited, but I tried not to think about it because it was senseless.

What it was amazing was the text conversation I had with Freckles. The conversation started well, but then, all of a sudden, her mood changed and I had the feeling it was because she surely received another threatening message, so I just tried to joke to make her forget about it and to make her laugh. I knew it worked even though her replies were a bit curtly. That was what I proposed to myself: I was going to help her every time she was down because of this stupid W person, but I was going to help her in a way she couldn't notice, because I was sure she didn't like to receive much help because she couldn't trust on people and it was understandable considering all she had to go through. So that was my way: make her forget those threatening messages; and I was going to get it by making her laugh, so then I would hear her beautiful laugh. Oh damn! Why was I thinking about her laugh this way? Whatever. That was my secret plan. But Freckles wasn't the only one who received a threatening anonymous message. That W texted me as well, not long after I finished my conversation with Freckles.

**"Twinkle twinkle little snitch, mind your own business you nosey bitch. -W-"**

That message was kind of stupid for me; well, at least I had to think like that if I didn't want to feel down and scared. Of course W was talking about that I shouldn't help Freckles because this person actually didn't want to mess with me because the problem was only with Freckles; and surely was saying I was a snitch because I sent a text message to Jen telling her what I thought it was happening to Freckles. How could W know about this? It was weird. Anyway, W wouldn't get me so easily; I already made the decision and it was to stick with Freckles.

**"Do you know what happens with snitches? They die. Then, you wouldn't like to be a snitch, Criss, would you? -W-"**

Screw this W. That person wouldn't scare me by threatening me with death. This person couldn't kill anyone for real, or could? I didn't know, I was going to find it out sooner or later. The threatening messages increased after I had lunch with Freckles and Jen and after we all told to each other all the text messages that W sent to us during the day. It only could mean something: They knew about our place to have lunch because they were following us all the time. The weird thing was that I didn't see anyone following us, and there was no one around us. How could W know about this?

**"I never thought you could be so stupid, Criss. You're gonna regret, now you're involved on this. Prepare yourself to go through the worst you've ever gone. -W-"**

**"1, 2, 3 what is this? 4, 5, 6, you're a halfwit. 7, 8, 9, you're in the death line. 10, you're gonna regret every now and then. -W-"**

**"Oh, Criss, Criss; little assrat bastard. I'll shoot right where it hurts most. If I were you, I wouldn't let certain someone go to the supermarket on Sunday morning. Something bad could happen. -W-"**

Those were some of the text messages that W sent me during school. Something caught my attention. The person who was texting me, definitely knew things of my private life, considering the last text this person sent me. That person knew about my family habits. This W person knew that my mom was used to go to the supermarket on Sunday morning. So this situation was beyond school, they knew all the things we were used to do out school and that was when I really started to freak out. They could mess with whatever they wanted, but not with my family. How would W know that my family was the most important thing to me? Now I could understand better why Freckles was so afraid and why she didn't want to involve us on this, why she couldn't trust on anybody. I understood her better because I was experiencing all she was experiencing, and for sure what W was texting her was even worse. To be honest, I couldn't see how we were going to manage to keep going and win them, but I didn't want to disappoint neither Jen nor Freckles. I promised them that we would be fine at the end. How was I going to get it? I didn't know.

The only thing that made me change my bad mood was that now it was 4pm and I was in Contraband Coffee Bar, impatiently waiting for this sexy cheerleader to arrive. I was pretty excited to see her and to talk to her, now I was feeling more confident since she was the one who told me to come here. Of course it was because it was a club reunion, but whatever, she told me to be here, so here I was. I remembered when Jen suggested me the first day of school to join this club only to talk to this cheerleader, and so I did. I couldn't love Jen more. I was sitting next to people I didn't know because honestly, I never knew who was in the club or who wasn't, because all I did was to look at this girl. Then I saw her entering the coffee bar and it was little to say that my heart skipped a beat. Not to mention when she walked straight where I was to sit next to me. Oh for fuck's sake! She looked ever sexier without her cheerleader uniform. She was so gorgeous that of course every guy in the coffee bar turned to look at her and of course every girl there looked at her with jealousy.

_**"Hi, Mandy."**_ I said like a twat when she sat next to me. I needed Jen here to tell me that I needed to learn how to talk in front of this hot girl.

_**"Hi, Darren. I'm surprised, you remembered my name."**_ Mandy said looking at me with her outstanding eyes and smiling with her perfect mouth. Oh, that mouth.

_**"How wouldn't I?"**_ I said raising my eyebrows looking at her bewitched.

_**"Umm, thanks, I guess?"**_ She said frowning and smiling amused. She knew I was so into her. I was so fucking obvious.

_**"Yeah, sorry for my stupidity. I swear I try to be normal, but then that's not me."**_ I said now trying to look away not to look like a depraved, but her eyes were magnetic.

_**"Who would like to talk to a normal person?"**_ She asked looking at me and smiling widely. Man, has she tried to say that she enjoyed talking to me? Uh, maybe I was picturing things in my mind.

_**"Being true to my life motto, I'll answer: I don't know."**_ I said shrugging and smiling. Okay, damn, Darren! Use your charisma and sympathy to get her; do not act like a jerk.

_**"That's a good one. But you know, sometimes it's not useful." **_She said winking. Oh my fucking god, she winked at me and it was amazing.

_**"What do you mean? It always worked to me."**_ I asked shrugging and looking at her curious, and of course frowning.

_**"Well, what if I happen to ask you if you'd like to hang out with me? Would you answer me 'I don't know'?"**_ She asked looking at me intensely and a bit amused. Goddammit, she was so good on this. She totally had me in her knees.

_**"Oh well, I think I could make an exception."**_ I answered winking at her. Fuck you, Darren! Did you necessarily have to wink at her? You retarded.

_**"Really? Then what would be your answer to that question?"**_ She said in a fucking sensual way. Could she be maybe flirting with me? No, that made no sense. She's on other level; she's the girl who dates popular football players not awkward jerks like me.

_**"Let me think...I guess my answer would be that I wouldn't like it."**_ I said smiling amused. I was finally recovering my sense of flirting. This was my fucking one chance to get her attention, and chances like this one didn't happen often.

_**"Oh, I feel rejected."**_ She said looking at me frowning and confused, apparently offended. _**"Do you know you're the first guy who answered me something like that?"**_

_**"Well then, I might be an asshole."**_ I answered shrugging and looking at her intensely into her eyes, flirting as much as possible.

_**"No, actually I guess you're a special guy. Wow, for the first time someone rejected my invitation to hang out. This is not happening. Wow."**_ The girl said in disbelief and stunned. Yep, I got her attention now, which was good. _**"I don't know what to say now, this never happened to me."**_

_**"Well, I could make this easier and I could ask you something if you want this conversation to flow."**_ I said looking at her seductively and raising an eyebrow. She looked at me curious and intrigued. Well done, Darren!

_**"Well, ask me something, then."**_ Mandy said curious and still bewildered because of my rejection.

_**"Would you like to hang out with me this weekend?"**_ I asked flirty.

_**"What? But minutes ago you told me you wouldn't like it..."**_ Mandy said even more confused and I was so amused by her reaction.

_**"No, you didn't understand."**_ I said looking at her fervently. _**"I said that I wouldn't like it, because it was you the one who asked to hang out. Personally, I think the guy is the one who must ask it. I'm the typical old-fashioned guy who wants to make feel a lady just as she deserves, and it implies that I have to court her. And my plan would totally fail if you asked me so before I did. If I hang out with you, I'd like to make you feel wanted for who you are and not like other people who would be interested to hang out with you to get a booty call considering how gorgeous you are."**_ I said with my highest level of flirting.

_**"Oh my god."**_ Mandy said looking at me with eyes wide open and stunned. I couldn't tell if her reaction was a good one or not. _**"You're truly special." **_

_**"Maybe I am, maybe not. You wouldn't know if you don't give me the chance to hang out with you."**_ I said winking at her seductively.

_**"How could I say no to your offer after your sweet speech? And now I'm kinda intrigued to find out if you're special or not."**_ Mandy said looking at me with a bright smile.

Oh my god, oh my god! Was she saying yes to my proposal to hang out? This had to be a sort of a dream. Dammit! This was all I wanted since years! But anyway, I wasn't feeling as happy and excited as I should be. I was feeling like, 'Cool, I got to ask her for a kind of a date this weekend.' instead feeling like 'Holy fuck! The girl of my dreams is gonna hang out with me and this is totally insane and I think I'm gonna have a heart attack!'. Well, maybe I wasn't feeling like that because still I couldn't believe she was saying yes.

_**"So, this weekend at Gary Danko?"**_ I asked with a bright smile.

_**"Love that place."**_ Mandy answered with a sensual smile.

_**"Hey, you two! Pay attention! I'm not gonna repeat this again."**_ The leader of the club said kind of annoyed.

That was the time when I took advantage to wink at her seductively before looking at the leader and pay attention. I could notice that she giggled softly and adorably because of my flirting. Yeah, I was going to hang out with this sexy cheerleader as I always wanted and it was totally awesome. But something wasn't feeling right.

* * *

When school finished and you went home, you kept receiving text messages from W and each time it was getting worse and worse. You couldn't stand it anymore, you were getting tired, annoyed and frustrated because anything changed for good in the last few days. You were quiet in your bedroom, listening to loud music since nobody was home: your parents were still at work and your sister, as usual, was with her friends. You were lying in bed until you got one more text message from W.

**"It's such bliss not to see your ugly and deformed face until tomorrow. Look in the mirror, you hideous and unsightly bitch. -W-" **

You stood up and walked to the mirror by inertia, and then you saw your reflection in the mirror. This time W was right. You were just an ugly girl. Your eye was still swollen and black and you had that horrible scar on your jaw, a scar that would remain there for the rest of your life. Tears started to stream down your face in anguish, you couldn't help it. Now that you were alone, you could be weak as you actually were, because no one was looking at you. This was not what you wanted for your life years ago, this was not how life was supposed to be. Why did it have to be everything so hard and tough? Why did it have to be everything so unfair and hopeless? And you thought hours ago that maybe Darren was feeling something for you. How was it possible if you were this ugly girl, full of bumps and scars? What kind of stupid girl were you? No one ever would be interested in you and less Darren. You looked in the mirror your large scar on your jaw again. This was a tangible scar that those bullies have done to you; it was the proof of all the damage they were doing to you. They already started destroying you and you weren't winning anything, and most likely you wouldn't win, only that you didn't want to admit it. Right now, you just wanted to be pretty as your sister, so none of this would have happened. You just wanted to be like one of those Disney princesses, a pretty princess who was happy next to her Prince Charming and nothing was bad, and it had a happy ending. But that was just a fairy tale and it wasn't going to happen because it wasn't real and because you didn't look at all like a princess. You were just like the ogre of the fairy tale and you had to deal with it.

**"Don't be sad, ugly bitch, maybe you're like the frog that must be kissed to turn into a pretty human being. But, who would kiss you? -W-"**

That was enough. You were tired of this kind of physical, emotional and psychological harassment. They were degrading every single thing of your essence as a human being. You even thought about changing your phone number, but it was worthless because they, one way or another, would end up finding it out; as they found out the phone number of Jen and Darren. They knew everything. You put your phone aside, but it kept buzzing.

"**The story goes that the ugly frog wanted to be kissed by a Prince Charming named Darren Criss. Tells the story that the frog thought that no one knew that, but truth was everybody was making fun of that stupid fantasy of the ugly frog. How sad! -W-"**

You looked at that text message and you got pale. How the fuck did W know about this? How if you didn't tell this to anyone? This was bad, too bad. What were you going to do now? You knew that W was going to start harassing you with this. You knew that this was going to fuck up everything and you had no escape. Oh jeez, you didn't know how to deny it, how to deal with this, how to try to hide this from Darren. Now Darren was going to find it out, he was going to know that you had a crush on him since a long time and then your plan with him and Jen was going to fail. And W knew that you wouldn't tell about this text message to anyone, not even Jen. W knew that this was the way in which this person was going to destroy any kind of hope you had; W knew this was the way to screw up your plans. How were you going to win according to Darren's plan if you were going to keep certain things in secret? This was a vicious circle in which in any way you were going to end up defeated; not only you but also Darren and Jen who were helping you. Fuck.

**"Tell me ugly bitch... How it feels to be someone's second choice? -W-"**

W sent that text message with a picture. So then it was the time when W started harassing with pictures. It was a picture of Darren smiling cheerfully and talking to a girl you did recognize, in a coffee bar. The two of them were very close and they seemed to be enjoying each other's presence, and Darren had this look you've never seen on him before.

**"Oh yeah little bitch, you did recognize who the girl is, didn't you? The prettiest girl in school who happens to be someone you know pretty well. Breaking news! Your Prince Charming wants to get laid with the hottest girl! Only because I'm mannerly, I left a little present in your front door. Go and see it! -W-" **

Now you were crying in anger and sadness. Anger because this person was messing with your feelings and this person was going further than what you expected. And sadness because this picture killed any kind of hope you ever had to be with Darren; now, that wish seemed to be something really hard and even unreal to get. But you were also scared, because W mentioned about a present in the front door, so it meant that W knew where you lived. W knew it and he or she wouldn't leave you in peace. You went downstairs as fast as possible to go get that 'present'. And there you found it, a red box. You grabbed it, looked around to see if there was someone and when you made sure that no one was around, you entered your house again and closed the door. You looked at the red box for a while, afraid to open it. You really didn't know what it could be. The only certain thing was that it was heavy, so it couldn't be another picture or something like that. But you opened it because you needed to know what it was. It was a bottle of liquor. Really? As if you ever drank alcohol. Why would W send something like that? There was also a note.

**"Not a cheap liquor, to see how mannerly I can be. You just drink it, maybe alcohol is gonna turn you into a nasty bitch, but it'd help you to forget how ugly you are and how lonely and unwanted you are. One drink and you're done. Enjoy! -W-"**

You put the bottle of liquor aside with a disgusted face and then you sat on the couch. You closed your eyes and you tried to think about something nice to forget all the shit that was happening. But you failed because Darren's hazel eyes popped in your mind and your phone buzzed again.

**"Don't think it's too easy, bitch. You don't want Criss to find your secret love for him? Then you must follow my rules, my game. Be wise, fat ass. -W-" **

You looked at that text message and you knew you were screwed now. In both ways, following W rules or going on according to Darren's plan, this was going to end up in a bad way. Maybe drinking that liquor now wasn't a bad idea after all. Maybe you could drink only one cup, just to pass out the bitter situation. It took you four cups to get tipsy for the very first time in your life and you were feeling weird. Suddenly nothing was too bad and you were thinking about something different from the shit that was actually happening. Suddenly you didn't have this load upon your shoulders, suddenly you weren't feeling tired. You were feeling relaxed and everything seemed funnier than normal, even some things started to distort. But it was good feelings mixed with the deep anguish you were feeling. It wasn't till hours that your phone buzzed again.

From Darren:** Are you up to meet me in that place only we know?**

To Darren:** Why wuld yo wanit?**

From Darren:** Oh girl, so many typos in your last text! Never mind. Remember you told me you didn't know me at all and I told you that it's not late to get to know more about each other? Well, I guess it could be cool and there's no better place than that.**

To Darren:** Yeah.**

From Darren:** Yes what?**

To Darren:** I rembrer it.**

From Darren:** Remember is what you meant? So, what do you say? Would you want to meet me there, at the same place in an hour?**

To Darren:** Im bus.**

From Darren:** What? Omg, are you a bus? I thought you were a girl. Just kidding, are you sleep-texting?**

To Darren:** I dont gt wat u sayin. The tree theres u wnt t meet?**

From Darren:** I'm having a big problem in understanding you today. But I guess I got it. Yes, there's where I'm telling you to meet, but if you're sleeping it's not a problem, we can make it another day.**

To Darren:** K.**

From Darren:** And that means..?**

To Darren:** Goin to b ther in hour.**

From Darren:** Cool! See you soon, then, Freckles! :)**

What the hell was Darren trying to say to you? You could barely read his text messages and it was as if all the words were messed up. But you got it, that you and he were going to meet in an hour. Why did he want it? He was supposed to be with the prettiest girl in school, not wasting his time with an ugly girl like you. And why did you accept to go there? You knew the answer: You really wanted to see him, you wanted to be with him, you wanted to spend time with him. Screw everything! Screw W and all the fucking rules and plans! Screw the bullies, the threatening messages, the haters, school, and just everything! You were going to do the fuck you wanted and no one was going to stop you. You stood up to go to that place, and when you stood up, you felt really dizzy. But it didn't stop you from doing what you wanted to do: To meet Darren.

* * *

I was at the same place where I met Freckles for the first time out of school; I arrived there 15 minutes earlier, so I knew she wasn't going to be there yet. Then I took advantage to place on the ground the blanket I brought and my guitar next to the tree and then I sat there, waiting for her to come. If she wanted to get to know me more, I had to show her one of the things I loved most and that was to sing and play my guitar. I was excited to meet her because I had a sort of plan in mind. Well, she wasn't coming anyway but at this point I guessed that maybe she wasn't punctual. So I started thinking the conversation I had with Mandy in the coffee bar and I finally got excited for that. I was getting to hang out with her as I always wanted, and this time I thought I had a chance with her, unlike before. Jen would be proud of the way I talked to Mandy; I needed to tell her what happened in the afternoon. When I was thinking about Mandy and what I could do with her in the weekend, Freckles arrived. She was walking towards me, stumbling a little and not walking in a straight line. She was surely sleeping when I texted her. I just watched her coming to me with a smile.

_**"Why do you always arrive before me? Not fair, not fair!"**_ She yelled in the distance, slurring.

_**"I have a wrist watch."**_ I joked, yelling because she was still several steps away from me.

_**"Dammit, I need to get one." **_She slurred now standing in front of me.

_**"Maybe I'm gonna give you one for your birthday."**_ I said smiling widely as I saw how she dropped herself on the blanket.

_**"That would be the worst birthday gift ever, man! For my birthday I want a pink bunny with yellow spots, a bunny that can sing and dance and fly! Well then, that would be awesome."**_ She said slurred with eyes wide open, looking at nowhere in particular.

_**"I'd have never guessed that you could say nonsense things. I like it."**_ I said giggling looking at her.

_**"Not senseless. Once I saw one in my yard."**_ She said now looking at me as if she was telling me a secret and I laughed out loud. I never thought she could be this funny.

_**"You gotta introduce that bunny to me."**_ I said still giggling amused.

_**"They surely followed me."**_ She said looking behind her with a terrified face, changing abruptly the subject. I also looked behind her but there was no one, so I just looked at her again, frowning.

_**"Who's following you?"**_ I asked curious looking into her eyes. Well, she had droopy eyes and she was now chuckling for nothing in particular.

_**"W of course!"**_ She said giggling.

_**"Why do you say it?"**_ I asked serious but she was still giggling. What was wrong with her?

_**"Today W was nice and gave me a little present. W knows where I live. Woo, scary!"**_ She said joking and chuckling.

_**"What do you mean? How's that W knows where you live?"**_ I asked worried but she kept laughing. _**"Freckles, stop laughing! This isn't funny, this is a serious thing."**_

_**"Oh snap! Party pooper!"**_ She said now frowning and looking at a random flower over there. _**"That flower is yellow. Why are some flowers yellow?"**_

_**"Are you fucking kidding me?"**_ I asked in disbelief and she stared at me with her droopy eyes, not being able to focus her sight.

_**"No. This is an eerie world. Flowers can be yellow and beautiful but those flowers are surrounded by mean people who destroy them. Why does it have to be like that?"**_ She asked getting closer to me as if she wanted to tell me a secret while I was just looking at her frowning. _**"W destroys the yellow flowers, you're a yellow flower, so are Jen and I, but I'm just a wilted yellow flower."**_

I smelled her breath. It smelled like alcohol. Yeah, damn! That was why she was talking about random stuff, laughing, with droopy eyes, slurring her words, and not walking in straight line. And that was the reason why her text messages had a lot of typos. She was surely drunk. But why? She didn't seem the kind of girl who used to drink alcohol. Anyway, out of all the nonsense things she was saying, there was a hint of sense, distorted, but there it was.

_**"Have you been drinking?"**_ I asked serious, looking at her who was still looking at me with her droopy eyes.

_**"I have to drink to survive. Human beings don't survive without food and water. I learned it in school."**_ She answered chuckling again. _**"I wasted my whole life trying to be smart to be a better woman in the future for what? To learn that human beings can't survive without food and water? Lame, lame, lame! I should have been popular and stupid and materialist, then none of this would have happened." **_

_**"Stop it, Freckles. You're beautiful just the way you are. And you're indeed smart and you don't need to be like them to be loved."**_ I said looking into her eyes. Yeah, she was drunk but I always heard that drunken people always tell the truth, and she was saying out loud all she was thinking.

_**"I'm a wilted flower. Who would like wilted flowers?"**_ She said slurring her words, looking at her lap.

_**"People who believe in you, like me and Jen and I'm sure a lot of more people. People who are wise enough to know that a wilted flower is better than a perfect flower, because you can turn a wilted flower into a precious flower with effort, and that wilted flower would end up being the best flower in the yard; while the perfect flower could turn into a wilted flower. You know, people would appreciate more the wilted flower."**_ I answered, trying to follow her way of talking about this delicate stuff.

_**"I don't get what you're saying. Why do you speak so fast?"**_ She asked kinda confused and frowning, trying to look at me.

_**"That's something that characterizes me."**_ I answered shrugging and smiling.

She lay down, huffing, to look at the stars; so then I lay down next to her and I held her hand in silence. She didn't look at me when I did that but she didn't let out her hand either. So then I got closer to her and I stared the stars.

_**"Stars are beautiful. They shine all the time, even if the sky is rough. They shine and it doesn't matter what comes to happen, they're always gonna shine and they're high and free, and everybody loves the stars. Sometimes I'd like to be a star."**_ Freckles said slurring her words and looking at the stars, thoughtful.

_**"I do think you're star. Only that you're still afraid to shine."**_ I whispered near her ear.

_**"It makes no sense. Stars are beautiful and I'm just an ugly bitch."**_ She said kinda annoyed and frowning.

_**"Who told you that you're an ugly bitch?"**_ I asked now looking at her, looking at her face at the moonlight.

_**"Everybody thinks so, even you." **_She answered with a sad voice and her eyes started to shine even more, as if she was about to cry.

_**"I don't think you're an ugly bitch. I think you're pretty." **_I answered seeing all over her face until she looked at me sadly.

_**"No, you don't. Right now you're seeing my awful scars and my deformed face. I'm not a fool, Darren. I know no one thinks I'm pretty, because I know I'm not, not with these scars." **_Freckles said with teary voice and very anguished.

I felt pity for her, because of the way she was thinking. And she wasn't ugly; I still thought that she was pretty even with her scars. But I felt sad because she couldn't see it like that and it was understandable. So I just got even closer to her and I looked deeply into her eyes, starting to caress her large scar in her jaw.

_**"I still think you're pretty. Even with your scars. You know why? Because this scar is the proof of how brave and strong you are. And that's why you're prettier than any other girl. Other girls could be prettier but only because of their appearance, but you're prettier inside and outside, and that's why you win." **_I said sweetly, still caressing her scar and looking deeply into her big sad eyes, which were now shedding tears.

_**"Do not tell me things like that if you don't mean it because it hurts." **_She said with choked voice, still looking at me.

_**"But I really mean it."**_ I answered smiling kindly at her.

_**"You're lying. If what you told me had been true, then someone would have wanted to be my boyfriend."**_ She said now looking at the stars again, still shedding tears and I just squeezed her hand.

_**"Maybe that's because you still didn't find any man worthy of your love."**_ I answered still looking at her, even if she wasn't looking at me.

_**"That's what everybody would answer when there's nothing to say. That's what everybody would answer when feeling pity for someone else."**_ She said staring at the stars blankly.

_**"No, I really..."**_ I started saying but she interrupted me.

_**"Have you ever had a girlfriend?"**_ She asked curious, but still looking at the sky.

_**"Yeah..."**_ I answered feeling a bit uncomfortable and not getting why she was asking me this.

_**"How does it feel? How does it feel to be in love and to be loved by someone?"**_ She asked almost in a whisper. _**"Please, answer me. If I can't feel it by myself, then at least I want to know how it feels. If nobody can love me and I can't be in love, then I really want to know how it feels before I get destroyed by W. Please."**_

"_**Freckles, look at me."**_ I said kind of sad because of what she said and how it sounded so hopeless. When she looked at me with her big distressed eyes, I stared at her for a while before talking. _**"You're not gonna be destroyed by W because I won't let it happen. And someday you're gonna get to feel it by yourself, when the right time comes. And I know in that time you're gonna be really happy and I'm gonna be happy for you too. But don't say again that you won't feel it never ever, because I'm sure there's gonna be a guy who's gonna give you everything and you will finally feel as you deserve."**_

"_**Darren, it comes a time when you need to be realistic, it doesn't matter how much it hurts, but you have to be realistic. Look at me, Darren. Look at me very intently. Who would want to be with a girl like me? And don't lie to me because I'm sick of lies, and I can tell when someone is lying to me for pity and when not." **_She said distressed but strong and I felt even worse. It was hurtful to see her so hopeless. _**"I just want to know how it feels. Could you do it for me? Could you make me feel how it feels with your words? It's the only thing I'm asking you, please."**_

_**"I'm just gonna tell you because this is what you're gonna feel sooner or later, not because I think you won't feel it at all."**_ I said looking into her eyes and I saw how she only nodded. _**"It feels amazing. At first you don't realize you're in love with someone, I don't know if it's because you don't want to admit it or because you actually don't realize you're falling. It's like a process. You can't fall for someone because you chose it; you fall in love with someone when you get to know more this person, when you start to like everything about the other person. It's like then you start to think about this special someone all the time, all the time is there in your mind, and every time you get to see this person you feel something here..."**_ I said with a smile placing my hand in her stomach. _**"Right here in your stomach, you feel some kind of tickle that just makes you smile and act like a fool. You feel totally weird. It's like a torture, actually, but it's a good kind of torture. You feel you want to spend all the time with this person because there's nothing that can make you happier. No matter what you're doing, you just want to be with this person and you can barely contain your feelings. Then is when you feel this need to touch this person, to hug her, to caress her, to kiss her; but not only that; you also feel this need to make her smile, to make her laugh, to take care of her. Then is when you start to think 'Whoa, man! This girl drives me crazy. Could I be falling for her?' And that's the time when you admit it. Yes, you're falling for her, and falling hard, not being able to control it."**_ I explained thinking about all those times I feel something like that. Freckles was looking at me intently and I realized I was smiling like a fool, but I didn't care. _**"And when you admit it, it comes the time when you try to show this special someone what your real feelings for her are. At first you go slow, shy and unsure; this is the time when you seem a total idiot. Because you aren't sure if the person feels the same for you or not, and you don't want to screw what you have. But you want to be with her and it is really hard not to kiss her, so you just take the risk. And the most amazing thing is when you find out that this person feels exactly like you. It's like everything seems brighter, everything is more beautiful and you think 'Man, life is so fucking precious. How couldn't I notice it before?' Then you forget about time, you forget where you are and who's there, because all you care is to be happy with this person and make her feel just as happy. Everything is as if you were in fairy tale, where nothing can go wrong and nothing is as bad as you thought. It's just you and that special person and it's totally awesome. Just that, you can't explain it, because you just feel it. And it's the best feeling someone can feel, for sure."**_ I finished saying with a huge smile on my face, looking at the stars.

Then I looked at Freckles and I saw her eyes looking deeply into mine. She was shedding tears, but those weren't tears of sadness, it was more like tears of thrill. I only smiled at her, intertwining my fingers with hers, both of us lying down in the blanket and staring at each other in that dark night full of stars. It seemed as though we were in middle of a romantic movie, except for the fact that we were only friends.

_**"That was so wonderful. Thank you for making me feel it."**_ Freckles said still shedding tears, with a faint smile on her face.

_**"Someday, a guy is going to make you feel all of this and you'll feel this in the flesh."**_ I said smiling kindly at her and her smile kind of disappeared. Did I say something wrong?

_**"Maybe."**_ She answered gloomy and the she stared at the stars again. _**"How many times have you felt this?"**_

_**"The whole thing?"**_ I asked. _**"Twice. But I did feel only the first steps like...twice too."**_

I had to admit it; after all I wasn't going to tell her for who I felt this way and when. Yes, to be honest, I was feeling something like this for Mandy. With Mandy, I was in that stage where I wanted to be with her all the time and I was thinking about her all the time, I was in that stage where I acted like a fool and I couldn't stop smiling whenever I was with her. But I did feel something like this for someone else. Someone who was now right in front of me. And I didn't realize it until I started to tell her how it felt to be falling for someone. Yes, I was feeling totally weird whenever I was with Freckles. Yes, I used to think about her several times. Yes, I couldn't stop talking to her, now it was also texting her. Yes, I really enjoyed being with her. Like fuck, I enjoyed being with her more than I should. But maybe it was only because she was kind of intriguing to me; maybe it was because I really wanted to know more about her because she wasn't like any other girl. There was no way I could be falling for her because there was Mandy, and Mandy was the girl who was driving me crazy. With Freckles I felt something different from what I was feeling for Mandy, it was completely different. So that was why I couldn't be falling for Freckles, maybe what I was feeling for Freckles was just something as if she were my sister, something like that. I didn't know.

_**"I don't get what you tried to say."**_ Freckles said slurring her words and looking at me confused.

_**"Well, I only felt some of these things for two girls. And I felt everything of this with other two girls, who were my girlfriends. I only had two girlfriends."**_ I explained so she could understand me. _**"One of my girlfriends was Jen." **_I said laughing when I remembered the time I dated Jen.

_**"Jen? Really? And what happened? Are you guys still dating?"**_ She asked curious and in surprise.

_**"No, not at all."**_ I laughed shaking my head. _**"I mean, yes. It's true. But Jen and I aren't dating. She was my first girlfriend and it happened when I was 14. Jen and I met in our Freshman year in this school. I was alone and I didn't know anybody, and so was Jen. We met in our Math class and I remember that I didn't understand a damn shit of what the teacher was saying, and if you don't know, Jen is really good when it comes to math, so she just helped me to resolve an exercise. And that was when we started talking. We used to spend all the time together since that time, only talking and laughing and getting to know more about each other." **_I said with a smile when I remembered how I met Jen. _**"Then I started to feel weird whenever I was with her. And one day we were at my house, in my bedroom, just doing nothing, and she was looking so beautiful to me that I couldn't contain any longer what I was feeling for her, but I didn't know how to tell her this. So I just decided to sing her a song to tell her all that I felt for her. And she told me she was feeling the same. That was my first kiss."**_ I said smiling widely and kind of nostalgic. _**"We dated for three months to find out that it wasn't going to work. Yeah, we loved each other so fucking much, but just as friends. Jen was and is very important to me, but she's only like the sister I've never had."**_

When I was telling Freckles my story with Jen, I find out something. My story with Freckles wasn't so different from my story with Jen. So then it could only mean that I was beginning to grow fond of her but only as my friend. I needed to keep it in mind.

_**"That's a nice story. Now I get why you love her so much."**_ Freckles said smiling and trying to focus her eyes on mine, but she was failing. _**"And who was the second girlfriend?"**_

_**"Karen."**_ I said laughing. _**"But things were different with her. What I had with her is something I don't want to remember because at first everything ended up really bad. She didn't want to talk to me because she was saying I was an asshole, and she was trying to get me back because she was still in love with me, but I didn't feel anything for her anymore. But with time, she stopped loving me and she apologized. So that's why we're friends now."**_

_**"Wow, you're such a heart-breaker."**_ Freckles said slurred and I just laughed.

_**"I can't tell if that's a compliment or not."**_ I said looking at her amused.

_**"It is." **_Freckles whispered, smiling and trying to look into my eyes, but her eyes were so droopy. _**"You're so beautiful and funny and everything. You're everything."**_

_**"What?"**_ I asked amused and giggling because of the way she said it, slurring her words and still trying to focus her eyes on mine.

And then it happened something I wasn't expecting at all and goddammit. She leaned over, closed her eyes and kissed abruptly my lips while I was just like 'Whoa, whoa! What the hell?'. I was just looking at her in surprise while she was pressing her lips against mine, but then... Then I just closed my eyes, I placed a hand on her jaw and I kissed her back. I just couldn't explain it, but it was as if I had the need to do this, because it was what I wanted, even if I was all the time denying it. And her lips were so soft and sweet. And her lips fitted perfectly with mine. And I wanted more, I wanted to kiss her more and I didn't want this kiss to end. So I placed my other hand on the nape of her neck and I softly pulled her closer to me. Then I was in the perfect position to deepen the kiss, I just touched her lips with the tip of my tongue and she let me manage this; she let me explore her mouth with my tongue and it just felt so damn amazing. This was being my best kiss so far and I just wanted more. I knew I was getting hard but I didn't care, I only wanted this. Slowly, I leaned my body on top of hers and I intertwined a leg with hers, still kissing her perfect lips. I was feeling so good, so weird. But then she gently pulled me away and looked into my eyes. That was the time when I realized what I was doing. Fuck, fuck, fuck! This wasn't right, I shouldn't be kissing her, I shouldn't be feeling like this! I was just a mess and she was looking at me frowning with a weird face.

_**"Darren...Darren..."**_ She babbled with the same weird face and pale. _**"I'm not feeling good, I'm not feeling..."**_

And then she turned her face to do what any drunk person would have done: she threw up. Dammit. She only kissed me because she was drunk and I, like a moron, took advantage of this to kiss her back. But I felt so good that it scared me. Shit.


	8. Nightmare and ambush

A/N: Okay guys, I just wanted to thank you like very very much for all of your reviews! Like, it makes me feel good that you're enjoying this story! I don't know, it's like sometimes I'm not feeling like writing anymore but then I read what you tell me and well, it's like an incentive to keep writing and I really appreciate it because I don't know, I feel good writing even though I'm like playing to be writer, as when I was a child I played to be a teacher. Okay, it makes no sense, so forget it! I just wanted to thank you all as always for your words and I really like when you tell me things to improve my writing, so thank you a lot! Now I'll let you read this new chapter of Teenage Dream! Hope you can enjoy it!

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**Teenage Dream – Part 8 – Nightmare and ambush.**

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Freckles was now sitting on the blanket and looking away, apparently embarrassed and still feeling bad because of the effects of alcohol. This was surely the first time she drank alcohol because she couldn't understand why she was feeling like that. I was sitting behind her, rubbing her back smoothly, trying to reassure her. I still couldn't believe how I could have been such an asshole to take advantage of her condition. Yeah, it was true that she was the one who kissed me first, but she wasn't aware of it because she couldn't even talk properly and focus her sight. And I kissed her back, it was me the one who deepened the kiss, it was me the one who couldn't stop kissing her and it was me the one who fucking got on top of her. How could I have done something like that? Freckles was a friend and I really didn't want to lose her as my friend for a stupid reaction I had; a reaction that I still couldn't understand. I couldn't understand why I felt so damn good and why I loved her lips if I didn't have any passionate feeling for her. How could I solve this now? I only wished she wouldn't remember this next day. And that was making me a bad person. How could I think that way? That wasn't me. At this point, I really didn't know what I wanted.

_**"Freckles, are you alright?"**_ I finally whispered in her ear from behind her, still rubbing her back.

_**"I don't know. I feel weird." **_Freckles said still slurring her words.

_**"You're gonna feel better soon. You're just feeling like this because you got drunk."**_ I said softly, rubbing her back reassuringly.

_**"I'm so ashamed, so ashamed."**_ Freckles said covering her face with her hands.

_**"Hey, don't worry. It's not as if I've never seen something like this in my life."**_ I said kindly and then I kissed her temple while still rubbing her back. _**"Do you feel like throwing up again?" **_

_**"No."**_ Freckles answered in a whisper.

_**"How are you feeling? Any better or not?"**_ I asked looking at her, even though she was still covering her face.

_**"I feel tired. I'm so sleepy, I just want to sleep."**_ Freckles said and she indeed sounded tired.

_**"It's normal."**_ I said caressing her long hair, but then she turned around and she rested her head on my chest wrapping her arms around me and I startled.

_**"I want to sleep."**_ Freckles whispered with closed eyes and placing her head in a comfortable position for her.

_**"Then sleep. I'm not going anywhere." **_I whispered and I wrapped my arms around her, only to comfort her. Was that my only intention?

I knew that Freckles was now sleeping on my chest and I didn't want to wake her. I only wanted to be like this for a little more, I wanted to hug her the way I was doing right now; I wanted to feel her, sleeping on my chest the way she was doing it now. I stared her for a long, looking at every single thing of her face and especially the scar on her jaw. She seemed to be really relaxed now, unlike any other time I saw her. It seemed that sleeping was the only way she could be in peace, as if it was the only escape she had from the shit she was going through. She now seemed so harmless and quiet. She looked even more beautiful. I wondered why she had to suffer this much, I wondered how she could be so strong, I wondered how someone could be a real asshole with her if she was just this outstanding girl. I wished everything could be different for her, I wished people could see her the way I see her. But no, everything was so unfair and I was mad because of that.

_**"I promise to take care of you. I won't let anything and anybody hurt you. Not anymore." **_I whispered looking at her and caressing her smooth hair, even though she was asleep and she couldn't hear me.

_**"Mmm?"**_ Freckles suddenly babbled and I shivered. Damn, I thought she was sleeping.

_**"Nothing. I was just talking to myself."**_ I lied a bit nervous, but still holding her in my arms. She only nodded. _**"Freckles, are you feeling better?"**_

_**"Yes."**_ She whispered still with her eyes closed, her head on my chest and wrapping her arms around me.

_**"Do you want to come back?"**_ I asked softly, caressing her hair. She only nodded. _**"Well, I...err...we should stand up...and...I can't let you go alone, but I don't know where you live. I'll need your help so I can walk you home." **_

_**"Okay."**_ She answered but she didn't move and she didn't open her eyes.

_**"Where do you live?" **_

_**"Right there, next to the pink house. They have a dog called Sammie. I love that dog."**_ She answered slurring her words.

_**"Okay, that's not helping. Freckles, do you know where we are now?"**_ I asked looking at her who was still with eyes closed.

_**"Yes, we're here." **_

_**"And do you know where is here?" **_

_**"Just here. Please, let me sleep. I'm tired." **_

_**"Just one last thing... Do you know with who you are right now?" **_

_**"Yes, with you." **_

_**"Do you know who I am?" **_

_**"Yes, Bobby. Let me sleep, please. It's been a rough day and I just want to sleep and not to wake up."**_ She whispered sounding really tired and anguished.

I felt really bad in that moment. Not only because she wasn't aware that it was me the one who was with her, she mentioned Bobby and I had no idea who Bobby was. I must admit that I felt kind of jealous when she mentioned Bobby. But why the hell was I feeling jealous? It was stupid. I also felt bad when she said she had a rough day and the only thing she wanted to do was to sleep. How much pain was she actually feeling deep down? She sounded very dejected and it broke my heart. And besides all of that, she didn't tell me where she lived, so I couldn't take her home. I looked for her phone in her pocket so maybe in that way I could contact with any member of her family, but then I thought it wasn't a good idea. What would her family think if a complete stranger called to tell them he had their little daughter and she was drunk in middle of the night? No man, that was a terrible idea, they were going to kill me. What the heck could I do now? There was only one solution and it was to take her to my house. But what would her parents think? The day before she didn't sleep at home and now she wasn't going to sleep at home either. Either her parents were liberals or they didn't care about her so much. She mentioned that she didn't have the best relationship with her family, but what has she actually tried to say with this? What I thought it was that she used to have arguments with her family but never, until now, popped in my mind that maybe her family didn't care how she was or where she was, as if they didn't care if she was there or not because it was the same for them. I didn't want to think this was the real fact; it'd be so unfair for her, more than it already was. Well, I knew she would be welcome in my home, so then I was going to take her there. I looked at her and she was kind of passed out. I tried to wake her, but she didn't open her eyes and she didn't move; so I just raised her and I sat her on the grass against the tree so then I could put the blanket in my backpack. She didn't do anything; she was just sleeping in the same way. I put the blanket in my backpack and I slung it over my shoulder. Then I looked at my guitar and I thought for a while how I was going to manage to take it to my house with Freckles. So then I did something ridiculous, but it worked. I took off my hoodie and I wrapped it around the neck of the guitar to sling it over my other shoulder. Then I had my hands free to help Freckles walk. Once I was ready, I walked to Freckles and I kneeled, placing my hand on her shoulder.

_**"Freckles? Wake up, we must go." **_I whispered but she didn't move, so I spoke louder. _**"Freckles, wake up! It's late and you need to sleep." **_

Yeah sure, well said. 'You need to sleep' was the stupidest thing to say if she was already sleeping. Anyway, Freckles wasn't moving and she wasn't uttering any sound. I tried several times to wake her, but it wasn't working. I didn't have any other option: I would have to pick her up in my arms and take her to my home this way. When I picked her up in my arms, she didn't wake up. Damn, she was kind of heavy since she was completely asleep, even though she didn't seem to be heavy. How the fuck would I manage to walk home with my guitar and backpack on my shoulders and with Freckles in my arms? That was going to be tough. But I did it. I arrived home and my whole body was in pain, but she was safe. When I arrived home, everybody was sleeping and I tried to sneak into the guest room in silence to leave Freckles there. No one heard me and it was good. I didn't want my parents to see me like this or they would probably assume that I was the one who made her get drunk. I lay her down in bed and I left my backpack and guitar next to her bed, sitting on the edge of the bed. Damn, my back was aching like hell. Freckles, meanwhile, didn't notice that I left her there. I just couldn't leave her like that with all of those uncomfortable clothes; but I couldn't do anything about it either, because she was fast asleep.

_**"Freckles?"**_ I asked in the silent room to wake her up and to tell her to don the same clothes that I lent her last night, which were still there.

Freckles didn't move, she wasn't listening to me at all. She seemed to be away, dreaming. It was amazing to see her peace. I thought I could spend hours just looking at her sleeping. No, no, no! Why was I thinking that? I took off her shoes, I covered her with the quilt, and I stood up to go to my own bedroom, but then she spoke.

_**"I'm uncomfortable."**_ She grumbled, frowning and still with closed eyes, pulling away the quilt and tugging her clothes.

_**"Freckles!"**_ I exclaimed walking towards her again and grabbing the clothes I lent her last night. _**"Yes, take this. You can wear these clothes." **_

_**"Don't want, tired."**_ She mumbled still with closed eyes and frowning.

_**"Okay."**_ I said looking at her, who was shifting in bed in discomfort, still tugging her clothes.

_**"Change my clothes, I'm uncomfortable."**_ Freckles grumbled again with closed eyes and I looked at her stunned and kinda nervous.

_**"What? I... No."**_ I refused shaking my head, even if she wasn't looking at me. _**"Here are the clothes if you want to change, but I won't change you." **_

_**"Please, change me. I can't do it by myself."**_ Freckles grumbled again and she tried to unbutton her jeans but she failed.

_**"No, I won't."**_ I refused strongly.

I couldn't just undress her. No, the idea of undressing her right after I kissed her and I liked it, scared me like hell. No, because I didn't know what I could do, because at this point I didn't know what I would feel or do. I just couldn't trust on myself whenever I was with her. Yes, I would do this if it was Jen or Karen the ones who were asking me so, because I was aware they were my friends and nothing else; but not with Freckles because even though I considered her as my friend, I couldn't act like a friend for some weird reason.

_**"Fine."**_ Freckles complained, now sitting in bed, still with closed eyes. She tried to take off her shirt but she tangled with it. I didn't know how the hell she did that, but now a sleeve was like strangling her neck while the other sleeve was covering her face.

_**"Whoa, whoa!"**_ I exclaimed kinda worried and I walked towards her when I noticed she couldn't breathe.

I sat on the edge of the bed and I finally helped her to take her shirt off. She took a deep breathe when her shirt stopped strangling her neck and she dropped herself in bed abruptly, still with closed eyes. My eyes drifted to her half-naked body, I couldn't help it. Fuck, why was I looking at her boobs and bra? Dammit, such a pervert! Anyway, I kept looking at her half-naked body but now not in a horny way; now I was looking at it sadly. Her upper body was all bruised, surely since that time she was beaten by Brian and Jim. Jeez, this was terrible. I had no idea she was this bruised. It was assuredly very painful for her. How could she stand this? Instinctively, I ran my fingers through her stomach, which was the most bruised part. She only grumbled with her eyes closed and frowning, but she grumbled because apparently it hurt her. Then I realized what I was doing and I scolded myself. After that, I saw how she tried to unbutton her jeans again, failing over again. So then I took her hands to stop her and I unbuttoned her jeans for her. I gently took them off and now I stared at her whole body. Her legs were also bruised and I was feeling really bad. How could someone do this to someone else? This was heartless and merciless. I didn't know what was happening to me, but I was feeling really angry with those bullies but at the same time I was feeling dreary because of her. And I ended up shedding tears in silence for a while, while staring at her half-naked and bruised body. Before dressing her with my clothes, I leaned over to caress her cheek softly and I saw how she smiled faintly. She smiled despite all the pain she has suffered. How could she keep smiling? How? And I cried even more when she smiled, because it broke my heart and I was feeling weak. I was so broken only because of the fact of knowing how hard she was trying to keep going despite the sorrow; despite she couldn't make it better. When I got to calm myself, I dressed her, I covered her with the quilt again, and I tucked her up. I looked at her face for a long while and I kissed her temple before I stood up to go to my bedroom.

_**"Don't go."**_ I heard Freckles's voice behind me. I turned around and I saw she was still with her eyes closed.

_**"I need to get some sleep. You're gonna be fine, I promise."**_ I whispered looking at her; she seemed so harmless and little.

_**"Don't leave me alone. I don't wanna be alone anymore, enough is enough."**_ She said hugging the pillow. It literally broke my heart. For how long has she been feeling alone? Why?

_**"You're not alone. I'm here with you."**_ I answered with choked voice while my eyes filled in tears over again.

_**"Sleep with me, only for tonight. It's been a rough day and I need a little affection, I need to know there's someone at least once. I'm weak and tired, I need you." **_Freckles mumbled still hugging the pillow and with her eyes closed.

Holy shit, man! Why was I crying like a baby? I just couldn't stop shedding tears and I wasn't that kind of guy who used to cry often. But her words were piercing my heart and my heart just sank when I heard her words. And I couldn't leave her there alone after she told me all of that. She said she needed a little affection at least once and it was devastating. Everybody receives a little affection, but she didn't. So I needed to stay next to her, at least a few minutes to make her feel I did care about her. I walked to her bed and I slowly lay down next to her.

_**"Please, hold me."**_ Freckles whispered when she noticed I was now next to her.

And so I did. I wrapped my arms around her and I nuzzled my nose in the nape of her neck. I just wanted to hold her tight, I just wanted to be like this all night long, just feeling her warmth. I was feeling a bunch of feelings and I just couldn't leave. For a moment I thought I could get used at this, at sleeping with her. It just felt good, not only because I was sleeping with this beautiful girl, but because I knew I was making her feel good. And that was all I wanted, to make her feel good as she deserved. I wanted to make her happy. I wasn't falling for her but I couldn't see her as just my friend either, and I simply couldn't explain it. I decided to stop thinking about that and just enjoy my time with her, just enjoy the fact of being so close to her. Three words wanted to come out of my mouth, but I didn't say anything, I only tried to make her feel that, without words: I love you.

Yes, somehow, I loved her. I didn't know which way. I didn't know if it was a love of friends, a love of family, or even a love of a crush. I didn't know and I didn't want to think about that. I just closed my eyes and I fell asleep, holding her in my arms.

_**"Thank you, Bobby."**_ I heard Freckles saying in the night.

Who the hell was Bobby?

* * *

You were sleeping and you knew you had to wake up but you were feeling just very weak and your head was aching a lot. You just wanted to sleep more...you were sleeping and safe. You were feeling warmth and it was a good feeling, you just wanted to keep feeling it. You were dreaming someone was next to you, holding you in arms, but you couldn't see the face of this person. You wanted this to last forever, you didn't want to wake up, and you didn't want to return to the rough reality, to the mean world. You heard voices in the distance, but you knew those voices weren't distant. You suddenly felt how the warmth vanished, you felt alone again, you felt cold; but that someone was still there. You still didn't want to wake up.

_**"What are you doing here? What are you doing with her and why is she here?"**_ You heard a distant voice.

_**"I just fell asleep, she wasn't feeling good. It's nothing. What time is it?"**_ You heard a distant voice, but this voice came from next to you.

_**"It's time to go to school." **_

_**"I don't wanna go to school. Let me sleep a little more."**_ The second voice said again.

You felt the warmth again. You felt how this someone wrapped the arms around you. You wanted this someone to remain there next to you; this person was making you feel good, so good. You didn't want to remember the bad things. But nightmares came to happen. You were walking alone in a dark and lugubrious place; there was no one around and the only thing you could hear were screams. You heard a voice in the distance.

_**"We need to wake up; we need to go to school." **_

You didn't want it; you didn't want to get back to school, not to that place. You didn't want to see those bullies; you didn't want to receive another threatening text message. You recognized the place; you were in a dark hallway. There was someone at the end of the hallway, waiting for you. You couldn't tell if that person was a girl or a boy, it was distorted, but that person had a phone in the hands. Screams, louder screams. Darkness. A voice talking.

"_**I'd like to be like this all day long, just like this, only with you."**_

You wanted the same, but you didn't know who the person who was talking was. You just wanted to feel this comfortable warmth and that peculiar and scented smell. You walked closer to that person standing at the end of the hallway. The person had a sack on the head; the sack had a 'W' written on it. You ran towards that person, you wanted to uncover the face, you wanted to see who this person was, you wanted to know who W was. You were so close and you were about to uncover the face of this person, you were scared. Screams, screams. A voice talking again.

_**"This is the last warn. Get up, now! You have to go to school and no excuses for you, sir." **_

_**"I won't go! I'll stay here, I don't care." **_

_**"No, sir, get up!"**_

_**"No, leave me alone! No, no! What are you doing?" **_

The warmth you were feeling next to you vanished. You were completely alone now, there was no one. Alone over again; just as you were meant to be. You wanted to cry but you couldn't, you wanted to open your eyes but you couldn't, and you wanted to be with that someone but you couldn't. You were facing the person with the sack on the head, you took the sack off, you wanted to see the face of this person, but suddenly everything turned dark and blurry. The screams were deafening you. Huge and rough arms took you by your back. Those arms were throttling you, you couldn't breathe. You were dying, you were dying and you couldn't do anything.

_**"Are you okay? You look pale. Hey, wake up! No, no, no. Hey, you're safe here. Please wake up, you look sick. Mom! Mom!" **_

Warm arms, those arms saved you. They picked you up, you wanted to wake up but your eyes were so heavy, you were sweating in cold and you felt weak, so weak. You heard a wicked laugh, you recognized that laugh. You knew W, it was a girl, a girl. It couldn't be that person, no; it just couldn't be. But then you heard another wicked laugh, it was a boy. Then you started hearing a lot of wicked laughs, boys and girls. Those laughs were disturbing you, you couldn't see their faces. They were laughing at you, you were on the floor, and they were torturing you. You couldn't stand it any longer.

_**"I don't know what's wrong with her! She just started sweating in cold and she's pale, she looks sick! What's wrong with her?" **_

_**"Calm down, we're gonna do all we can." **_

_**"But what's wrong? What's wrong? I need to know! Why wouldn't you let me in? I need to be with her!" **_

_**"Please, take a seat. We'll let you in once we get to know what's wrong. Please, calm down."**_

_**"Calm down, she's gonna be fine."**_

_**"I need to be with her! She needs me!" **_

_**"Soon, son. She's gonna be alright."**_

You felt cold objects on your body. You heard voices talking but you couldn't get what they were saying. You were at some place with a peculiar smell you recognized. No, you didn't want to be there. No, you weren't beaten this time. You wanted them to let you go, you didn't want to be in that place, in that bed, with all that stuff and that smell. No, this wasn't a safe place. You wanted to talk and open your eyes, but you couldn't and it was frustrating. The laughter were in your mind and then you saw him. Brian was in a corner looking at you, but he wasn't laughing, he was just looking at you in a weird way. That couldn't be Brian, that person over there didn't seem malicious, who was that guy? You wanted to walk towards him, but then the huge and rough arms took you by your back again, you couldn't move, they were taking you to the darkness. Injection. Darkness. Slumber. Silence. Weakness. Sleep.

_**"How was school?"**_

_**"It doesn't matter. How is she? Is she gonna get better?"**_

_**"Yes, she's going to get better." **_

_**"Mom, tell me the truth."**_

_**"I'm telling you the truth."**_

_**"Has she opened her eyes? Has she said something?"**_

_**"No and no."**_

_**"Then she's not getting better. Why? Why, mom, why?" **_

Those voices, you wanted to see them. Your eyes were still heavy but you did your best. You opened them slightly, you saw their faces, and they were there with you. You weren't alone; they were taking care of you. Someone was finally taking care of you. You wanted to thank them, but you couldn't talk. They saw you and walked towards you, they smiled, you tried to smile back, but it was so hard. What was going on with you?

_**"Hi sweetie. How are you feeling?"**_ A woman with dark hair and with the kindest smile you've ever seen said.

_**"Freckles! How are you? Oh, Freckles! I was so worried!"**_ A young boy with dark curly hair and hazel eyes said, hugging you. It felt good but it hurt you because you were still weak.

_**"Darren, slow down. She's still weak."**_ The woman said and the curly haired boy moved away. _**"How are you feeling, sweetie?" **_

_**"Fine. Weak."**_ You whispered with difficulty. _**"Tha…Thank yo…you."**_

_**"Sweetie, do not force yourself to talk."**_ The woman said kindly and caressed your hair.

That woman caressed your hair as sweet as any mother would do and you just felt so good and thankful because you couldn't remember the last time your mom did it for you. So you couldn't hold back those tears that streamed down your face.

_**"You're gonna be fine. Promise me."**_ The curly haired boy said worried, looking deeply into your eyes, holding your hand.

_**"Promise."**_ You tried to answer and smile.

You barely had strength to keep talking and to keep your eyes open. You were feeling really tired and you wanted to sleep again. Why were you feeling like this? But at the same time you didn't want to sleep, you wanted to see their faces and keep that memory with you, a memory that someone was worried because of your well-being.

_**"Sleep, sweetie, you need to rest. We're gonna be here until your father arrives and takes you home. He's on his way."**_ The woman said smiling warmly.

_**"No, no. Please, no." **_You said kinda terrified and feeling weary.

You didn't want your father to come, you didn't want to go with him, and you wanted to remain there with them who really cared about you. You didn't want to hear your father scolding you; you didn't want to be home alone as always. The woman and the curly haired boy were looking at you confused and you were too weak to explain them something. You were falling asleep again. Everything was dark again and Brian was grabbing your arm, he was trying to keep you away from those huge and rough arms that were holding you. Was he W? Who were the bad here? Brian or the arms? You needed to run away from everything, you needed to go your own way, but you simply couldn't and it was maddening. Someone appeared, someone you knew. You knew you were going to be safe with that someone but you couldn't see who that person was. But they took that person away, that person screamed. They were hurting that person and you needed to help that person, you wanted to keep that person safe, but it was something out of control for you. You screamed out loud but no one heard. Dispute, you heard a dispute in the distance. You wanted to stop it, but you couldn't talk.

_**"I want you away from my daughter!"**_ You heard your father's voice yelling.

_**"Excuse me, sir? Why?"**_ You heard the curly haired boy's voice asking confused.

_**"Nowadays kids pretend not to know anything about the gross errors they make."**_ Your father said madly.

_**"I don't know what you're talking about, sir. I did nothing bad."**_ The curly haired boy said, still bewildered.

_**"Excuse my interference, sir. But I was all the time with my son and I can safely say he hasn't done anything wrong. Your daughter just started to feel sick in the morning and we quickly took her here."**_ The woman said politely.

_**"In the first place, why was my daughter sleeping in the same house as your atrocious and depraved son?" **_

_**"Excuse me, sir? Atrocious and depraved?" **_The curly haired boy asked in disbelief.

_**"Excuse me, sir. I don't want to disrespect you, but I won't let you call my son that way."**_ The woman said still politely but firmly and strict. _**"I know my son better than anyone and I know he can make mistakes sometimes as any teen his age, but he's far from being atrocious and depraved."**_

_**"Oh, for real? I think you should stay near your son whenever he's away home. You'll find out what kind of son you have."**_ Your father said viciously.

_**"I won't allow you to meddle in my child's upbringing and integrity."**_ The woman said firmly.

_**"That boy has no dignity, and I want him away from my daughter from now and then. I don't want my daughter to be a scoundrel and miscreant like your son." **_

_**"I'm none of that."**_ The curly haired boy said now angry.

_**"Then, boy, explain me why last night I found this bottle of liquor in my house with this note." **_Your father said furious. There was a pause and everything was silent for a while. _**"Read it out loud, let your mother know what kind of boy you are."**_

_**"Hey there hot stuff, look what I've found. Wanna have fun and get wild like a badass? Drink it all and meet me, you know where. Let's have a good damn fuck. I want to make you scream in pleasure and I want you to swallow my cum, baby. I want to fuck you so bad. Meet me after drinking, sexy little slut."**_ The curly haired boy read kinda scared. _**"I didn't write this, this wasn't me!"**_

_**"Sure not, but your name is on it."**_ Your father said fiercely.

_**"Darren, is that true?"**_ The woman asked in disbelief.

_**"No, mom! Mom, I didn't write this! I don't even know where she lives! Mom, please, this wasn't me!"**_ The boy said exasperated and nervous.

_**"I believe in my son."**_ The woman said firmly.

_**"Mrs. Criss, if you don't believe in the atrocities that your son has committed, then you should take a look at the picture that someone called W sent me. Look."**_ Your father said furious and then there was a pause again. _**"This is your son, right? And he's with my daughter. Can you explain me what he is doing on top of her while my daughter seems to be almost unconscious?" **_

_**"What is this, Darren?"**_ The woman asked severely and bewildered.

_**"It's not what it seems. No, it's not what it seems! Mom, please! I didn't write that gross thing! I wasn't doing anything, I wasn't trying to...to...you know! I wasn't trying to sleep with her! Mom, trust me!"**_ Darren said afraid with trembling voice.

_**"Then what's this? What were you doing in that place that late at night, and in this position? Darren, explain me this."**_ Darren's mother demanded strictly.

_**"We were...we were just talking. We go there to talk. And... I just... No, it's not what it seems! I wasn't...mom..."**_ Darren said nervous and distressed.

_**"You tried to rape my daughter, kid."**_ Your father said wrathful.

_**"I never tried to do such a thing, sir!"**_ Darren yelled in a rage. _**"This is an ambush by W! Fuck this shit! Fuck this!" **_

_**"Darren!"**_ Darren's mother yelled, scolding him.

_**"I'm sick of this! I'm sick! She's my friend, only my friend! I never attempted to do something bad to her and I'd never do it! I love her!"**_ Darren exclaimed exasperated.

He said those words and your heart skipped a beat. He said he loved you and you wanted to hug him, it was the most wonderful thing you heard. You tried to stop this dispute, you wanted to clear this up, you wanted to defend and protect Darren. W was pushing the envelope. W was messing with everybody, now including your father. But you couldn't do anything because of the medication. You were feeling very frustrated and distressed because of the way your father was treating Darren, one of the few people who really cared about you. This wasn't fair.

_**"She was your friend. Now I don't want to see you fooling around her. Did you get it, kid? This is the last time you're seeing her."**_ Your father said coldly.

_**"Sorry, but I won't walk away from her. I'll stand by her and you, sir, deal with it." **_Darren said now defiant.

_**"Oh no, kid. If you dare to be near her, I'll sue you. You're warned, so watch your actions."**_ Your father said rudely.

_**"Do the fuck you want. I won't stand off her life. No one is gonna keep me away from her and nothing's ever gonna take us down."**_ Darren said defiant and firmly.

_**"Stop it, Darren."**_ Darren's mother said serious.

_**"I won't fucking stop because I won't do all the shit this man over here wants! She's my friend and I'll keep being her friend no matter what! So, fuck off, sir!"**_ Darren yelled angrily.

_**"It was enough, Everett!" **_Darren's mother yelled severely. _**"We're going home. Now."**_

_**"I won't go anywhere! I'll stay here and if that man wants to call the police, well then, he better does it because I'm not moving my ass from here."**_ Darren yelled again.

_**"What's going on here?"**_ Another voice asked. _**"This is a hospital."**_

_**"Sorry, doctor. We're going now."**_ Darren's mother said politely.

_**"No, no, no! Leave me, mom! **__**I won't go, I won't go!"**_ Darren yelled making a tantrum and clinging to the edge of the bed.

_**"Stop acting as if you were five, Everett!" **_

_**"Get out of here, kid! You're not seeing my daughter anymore."**_ Your father said rabid.

_**"Freckles, can you hear me? I won't leave you alone. It doesn't matter what the world wants for us, I won't walk away from you. I love you, and no one is gonna beat us down." **_

Those were the last words of Darren before he was forced to leave the hospital room. His words made you feel as if nothing was too bad because, no matter what, he was going to be there. You wondered what picture W sent to your father and why Darren was on top of you. You couldn't remember anything from last night, everything was blurry and you had missing pieces of the events, so the whole thing was a huge nonsensical event. You remembered to have received that bottle of liquor from W, you remembered you drank it and you were feeling really dizzy and everything was funnier than normal, you couldn't walk in straight line and you couldn't focus your sight, everything was slower and blurry. You remembered you met Darren that night and you talked to him, but you couldn't remember anything of what you talked about. You remembered you asked Darren how it felt to be in love because you were very susceptible after W threatened you by telling Darren your real feelings for him. From that moment, there was a bump in your memory. The last thing you remembered was having that nightmare and hearing those voices. Now not even in your dreams you were safe and it was horrifying. Darren and Jen were the only hope you had, but now your father took them away from you thanks to W. The same person kept screaming but the screams were more distant as time passed by. There was a hole between that person and you, you couldn't jump it because the same arms kept holding you and the hole was getting bigger and bigger. You needed to be with that person, it was the only place where you could see the light, only with that person. So you defeated the arms with all your strength and you jumped the hole, but that person who was your only salvation was already gone and you just fell into the bottomless hole.

* * *

I woke up in a bed that wasn't mine and I slightly opened my eyes to realize I was sleeping in the guest room, holding Freckles in my arms. This wasn't right, but it was feeling nice, so I just closed my eyes again and I fell asleep over again, getting closer to her. I didn't want to wake up, I just wanted to sleep with her all day long. I didn't care about these new feelings I had now, I didn't want to think about that, I only wanted to enjoy this moment because I honestly didn't know when it would happen again. But minutes later I heard my mom's voice waking me up and questioning me why I was there with her and other shit that I couldn't get because I only wanted to sleep. My answer was only to hold her tighter to feel the warmth of her body. But my mom was being so annoying and she had no better idea than pulling me out of bed. Damn! I was feeling so warm next to Freckles and now I was so cold! I attempted to go back to bed, but my mom took me by the arm and pulled me out of the bedroom.

_**"What, mom? Ugh! I just want to sleep, you're being so annoying!"**_ I complained, still with sleepy eyes and yawning.

_**"Darren, you have to go to school. And what's your friend doing here?"**_ My mom asked severely. Damn, I didn't want to think about an answer.

_**"She wasn't feeling good and well...why does it matter? Jen always sleeps here and you don't question me annoying things."**_ I grumbled while I was messing my hair.

_**"Yes, but this time you were sleeping with this girl."**_ My mom said severely as any other mother would do. That was irritating this early in the morning.

_**"And what about it, mom? Jeez! I slept with Jen in the same bed thousands of times!"**_ I grumbled again, getting annoyed.

_**"Yes, but it took years until you slept with her in the same bed. What's in your mind, Everett? I won't allow it in this house."**_ My mom scolded me.

_**"Ugh! You're annoying, mother! Annoying!"**_ I protested irritated.

_**"Watch your words, little boy!"**_ My mother said severely.

_**"Yeah, sorry. I'm gonna wake her up. If you let me and if it doesn't annoy you! Because at this point I think everything annoys you!"**_ I exclaimed still complaining and now walking to the guest room.

When I walked to Freckles, I noticed she was doing something that scared the crap out of me. She was shifting in bed and she was sweating in cold, very pale. She really looked sick and I couldn't wake her up, she wasn't listening. So then I called my mom in desperation and we took her to the hospital. At first, the doctors didn't tell us a damn shit and we had to wait for about an hour until we got a lame answer.

_**"Are any of you a relative of the patient?" **_The doctor asked and I was so exasperated. How could he be so relaxed?

_**"No, doctor. She's friends with my son and she was at my house when she started to feel like this. We don't have any contact with her relatives."**_ My mom answered politely while I was so strained.

_**"I'm so sorry, but I can't tell the medical condition of the patient to a person who isn't her relative." **_The doctor said in terms of professionalism and I wanted to punch his face. I needed to know what was wrong with Freckles.

_**"For fuck's sake! I need to know how she is! She's my friend, goddammit!"**_ I exclaimed in anger and desperation. My mom looked at me angrily and severely while the doctor looked at me stunned, raising his eyebrows.

_**"Everett."**_ It was the only thing that my mom had to say to shut me up. _**"Sorry, doctor. We're really worried and we don't know how to contact any of her relatives. Could you just tell us what's wrong with her, so my son can go to school?" **_

_**"In short, the patient has had a strong decomposition produced by the consumption of alcohol and a peak arterial pressure caused by an emotional plea, particularly stress."**_ The doctor finally answered.

_**"But is she gonna get better, doctor?"**_ My mom asked kinda worried. Damn W. I knew this was W's fault.

_**"Yes. With the correct medication and rest, she's going to be able to return to her normal activities tomorrow."**_ The doctor said and I felt more relaxed.

_**"Thank you, doctor. And right now, what is going to happen with her?" **_My mom asked again politely.

_**"We need to contact her relatives, so they can take her home."**_ The doctor answered

_**"Could I stay with her until any of her relatives arrive?"**_ My mom asked again politely and I loved her for asking that.

_**"No, that's not possible, madam."**_ The doctor answered again in terms of professionalism.

_**"But she can't stay alone, doctor. And as I said, she was at my house when she got sick and surely any of her relatives would want any explanation."**_ My mom said persuasive.

_**"Alright. I think this time we can make an exception." **_The doctor said.

_**"Thank you a lot, doctor."**_ My mom thanked with a kind smile.

Of course the first thing I did was to attempt to walk to Freckles's room, but my mom stopped me.

_**"Darren, you need to go to school. Then you can come back to see how she's doing." **_My mom said looking at me severely.

_**"But mom!"**_ I complained.

_**"No buts. I'll take care of her. Then you can return here. You heard the doctor; she's going to be fine." **_My mom said again.

_**"Fine, fine."**_ I grumbled. _**"Please, take care of her."**_

_**"Will do."**_ My mom said smiling and it made me feel better.

Yes, I had the best mom in the universe. No matter how annoying and severe she could be sometimes; she was the best person ever, very caring and kind to everybody, she had a heart of gold, she really had her heart in the right place and I wouldn't change my mom for anything in the world. But, how was I supposed to go to school and pay attention after all the things that happened lately? I already missed my first class, so I needed to find Jen; I needed to talk to her. And there I saw her, alone, walking to her next class.

_**"Jenny!"**_ I yelled and she turned to look at me.

_**"Darren! Why have you missed your first class?"**_ Jen started asking curious but when I got closer, she looked at me worried. _**"Darren, you're pale. Dare, is everything okay?"**_

_**"No, not at all."**_ I answered in all honesty. _**"Jen, can we skip this class? I really need to talk to you about a lot of things. A lot." **_

_**"But Dare, we need to..."**_

_**"Please, Jen. I beg you."**_ I said with trembling voice looking deeply into her eyes.

_**"Okay, fine. Let's go outside."**_ Jen agreed.

We walked away from school in silence because we thought it would be the best. We arrived to an empty place and we sat on the grass. At first I didn't know where to start, I didn't know what I should tell Jen and what not. But then I decided to tell her everything, she deserved to know and I really needed to talk to someone about all that happened. I started telling her when I went to the coffee bar and I told her my entire conversation with Mandy, that I got a date with her and I was excited but not as excited as I thought I'd be. Then I told her my meeting with Freckles in Marin Headlands, I told her she was drunk and it was because of W, I told her all that Freckles told me that night, what she asked me and what I answered. And I told Jen that I kissed Freckles and I felt good and weird. I told her that I couldn't understand a damn shit of what was happening to me, I told her how I really felt, I told her that I liked the kiss but I wanted to be only her friend. I told Jen that I took her to my home because she couldn't wake up, I told Jen that I slept with Freckles that night and I didn't want to wake up, that I wanted to keep holding her in my arms, I told her about all the bruises that Freckles had in her body. I told Jen that I loved Freckles but I couldn't tell what kind of love it was, because I wanted to be only her friend but whenever I was with her I acted like a real idiot and then I regretted. And then I told Jen the real reason why I missed my first class, because Freckles was sick and we took her to the hospital. Summing up, I told Jen absolutely everything. When I finished talking, Jen was looking at me completely astonished and bewildered by the bunch of new information. She seemed to be speechless and it was normal after all the private things I told her, because this time I didn't lie to her.

_**"Holy crap, Darren."**_ It was the only thing Jen could say.

_**"I know, I know. It's a mess."**_ I said looking down and feeling more insecure than ever.

_**"Yes, it is."**_ Jen said now looking at her lap, trying to understand everything I told her. _**"So, you have a date with this hot girl you like since last year and you aren't happy for that."**_

_**"No, it's not like that. Of course I'm happy because of that and I'm excited. But... Just... It's not like before. I thought I was going to die if she agreed to hang out with me, but it wasn't like that. I didn't die; here I am, alive and kicking."**_ I said shrugging and feeling bad for that, because, after all, it was what I always wanted.

_**"Yes, I get it. You want it but you're not so excited. And on the other hand, we have Freckles." **_Jen said still looking at her lap and trying to understand.

_**"Yeah..."**_ I said looking away and frowning because I didn't want to feel like this.

_**"She kissed you because she was drunk. And you kissed her back and you liked it. Does she remember that you have kissed?"**_ Jen asked now looking at me.

_**"I don't know. I couldn't talk to her." **_I answered feeling ashamed now; it was uncomfortable to talk about this. _**"But she mentioned a Bobby guy when I was with her. She thought I was this Bobby guy." **_

_**"So, she didn't want to kiss you, she wanted to kiss this Bobby guy? Who's Bobby?"**_ Jen asked curious.

_**"I have no idea, Jen."**_ I answered kind of annoyed.

_**"Are you jealous of that?" **_

_**"What? No! Not at all!" **_I answered shortly but she looked at me fixedly, raising an eyebrow. _**"Maybe a little. Jen, I don't know why I'm feeling like this! I don't want this!" **_

_**"And you told me you love her. Is that right?" **_

_**"Yes, Jen, yes. But I don't know! Maybe I love her like my sister, I don't know." **_

_**"Would you kiss her again if you had the chance?" **_

_**"No. But as I told you, this is what I say but not what I do when I'm with her." **_

_**"If you had to choose between Mandy and Freckles, who would you choose?"**_

_**"I..."**_ I started answered but then I took my time to think about the answer. I was really confused and I didn't know why. Damn, this couldn't be happening. _**"I don't know. It's different."**_ I finally answered looking at Jen distressed and she was still staring me fixedly. _**"I'm screwed, right?"**_

_**"Kind of."**_ Jen answered. _**"You really need to think what you want, Darren."**_

_**"But Jen! I don't know what I want! I just don't know!"**_ I exclaimed in despair.

_**"I know, Dar. I'm not scolding you, I just want to warn you, because if you don't clear up what you really want and feel, you could end up hurting someone." **_Jen said placing a hand above mine.

_**"I never wanted this to happen."**_ I said looking at my lap anguished._** "Jen, I don't know what to do, I don't know what the right thing is."**_

_**"You'll figure it out with time. Welcome to the silly and complicated life of being in love."**_ Jen smiled trying to cheer me up and I giggled softly. It was so accurate.

_**"Screw this shit, I want to be a Power Ranger."**_ I joked trying to feel better.

I spent the next hours with Jen, and of course we missed all the classes, but we really needed to catch up. Jen told me that she kept receiving threatening text messages from W, always trying to make her feel guilty about her brother's death and telling her that Freckles would end up as him if she kept helping her. That was the worst thing that someone could say to Jen, there was no way that someone could joke about this, threaten about this. Oddly enough, I didn't receive any text message from W and I didn't realize it until that moment. But right when I thought about it, my phone buzzed.

**"I know what you did last night, Criss. -W-"**

That was it all. I received worse text messages from W, but this one made me feel really afraid. What did W know and what not? Could W know that I was with Freckles and I kissed her? No, that was impossible because no one knew about that place. But then I started to think that W sent Freckles a bottle of liquor and W found her house. Maybe W followed Freckles, as she suspected last night and I didn't believe her. Damn.

**"I never thought you could abuse a drunken bitch. What would yo momma think about this, Criss? You're not following the rules. Wait till I get back it to you. -W-"**

I showed Jen what W sent me and, even though Jen tried to calm me down by telling me that nothing bad would happen because W was saying it only because this person was annoyed and afraid, I couldn't calm. I knew with what W threatened me last time, and I knew there was where W was going to attack. How could I be calm if I knew W was going to try to hurt my mom?

_**"Jen, I'm going to the hospital, to see how Freckles is doing."**_ I said still thinking of those text messages.

_**"Okay Dar. I have to go out with my parents now, you know, it's Friday."**_ Jen said standing up. _**"Please, let me know how she is."**_

_**"Will do, Jenny. See you later."**_ I said hugging her. _**"And thanks, for listening to me and all."**_

_**"Oh, please! Since when are you so sappy?" **_Jen giggled still hugging me back.

_**"Since yesterday I ate an extra dose of sugar."**_ I joked.

_**"See? That's the Darren I know."**_ Jen laughed and I giggled softly. _**"Take care, Dar."**_

When I arrived to hospital, my mom was still there and she told me that Freckles still haven't woken up and it made me feel worried again. Why wasn't she waking up? But then she opened her eyes and the first thing I could do was to hug her tightly because...because it was Freckles and she was fine. It was what I needed most in that moment, to see she was getting better; It was what I needed to forget about the threatening messages from W. But then she closed her eyes again, after making a worried and scared face when my mom mentioned her dad was coming for her.

_**"Mom. Have you seen her face when you mentioned her father?"**_ I asked intrigued. I needed to talk about this to someone and my mom was always the ideal person to talk to whenever I needed.

_**"Yes, son. Maybe she was still confused because of the medicine."**_ My mom answered, sitting on a chair next to her bed.

She was avoiding my look. She was used to do it only when she didn't want to talk about something because she was thinking something bad and she didn't like to be pessimistic. I wanted to know what she was thinking.

_**"Mom, she seemed to be freaking out. Why do you think she got scared when you mentioned her dad?"**_ I asked curious again, insistent.

_**"I don't know, Darren. Maybe she was confused for the medicine, as I already said." **_My mom said looking at Freckles.

_**"She never mentioned her father; she only told me she doesn't have a good relationship with her family. What if her dad treats her in a bad way, mom? What if her father is an asshole with her?"**_ I asked out loud and I knew I shouldn't have asked it, because now my mom was looking at me displeased.

_**"Darren, how can you think that way? All parents love their children. Stop making up things in your mind."**_ My mom answered persuasive, but now I couldn't stop thinking in that possibility.

_**"I don't know, mom. She doesn't have the best life that a human being can have. She's suffered a lot..."**_ I said thoughtful, looking at Freckles sleeping quietly.

_**"Why do you say it, son?"**_ My mom suddenly asked curious.

_**"No reason."**_ I lied shrugging.

I never told my mom all that Freckles had to go through in this year and all she's suffered since she started high school. I never told my mom all that Freckles told me that night when we plotted our plan, almost all the things of her life, her deepest secrets. And I didn't want to tell my mom all of that because then I'd have to explain her the whole situation with W and I didn't want to worry her. Because my mom was that kind of person, she really cared a lot about the welfare of others. While I was thinking about all of this, someone entered the room. It was a tall man who was wearing a refined suit, with a really solemn and commanding presence. He had the same hair and nose than Freckles, but his lips and eyes were different from hers. He was really serious and he seemed to be a rigorous man. I had to admit he was kinda scary. He first looked at Freckles and then to my mom. Then he looked at me in a way that scared the shit out of me. Why was that man looking at me that way?

_**"Hello, I'm Cerina Criss. You must be her father." **_My mom greeted that man politely.

_**"Hello, Ms. Criss. I'm Robert. That kid over there must be your son."**_ He said rigorously looking at me.

_**"Certainly, sir. His name's Darren; he's your daughter's friend."**_ My mom answered with a polite smile.

_**"So, Darren, eh?"**_ The man said looking at me with anger. Anger? Why?

_**"Yes, sir."**_ I answered shyly because his presence was making me feel uncomfortable.

_**"I finally got to know who Darren is." **_The man said coldly and furiously. What was wrong with him and why did he say that? _**"I want you away from my daughter!"**_ He suddenly yelled in anger looking at me.

_**"Excuse me, sir? Why?"**_ I asked completely confused and bewildered.

The fuck was wrong with that man? What happened next gave me goosebumps. I felt the hair on the back of my neck prickle and the blood froze in my veins when her father gave me a note to read and showed me a picture of myself with Freckles, right when I was kissing her in Marin Headlands. I couldn't believe it, this time W attacked fiercely. In chess, this would be called check. It wasn't enough with me, Freckles and Jen; W had to involve Freckles's father and that was the perfect movement for W. If W wanted to separate us, that person was getting it. Now her father didn't allow me to see Freckles because of something I haven't done, but W played it so well that now I seemed to be the guilty one and I had no proof to show the opposite. Not only her father was thinking that I tried to abuse his daughter, but my mom was starting to mistrust me. W was putting everyone against us, even our own family, everything to achieve the goal that W had. I didn't know how to prove them that this was a huge ambush; it seemed that I had no way out for this. But no one would force me to walk away from Freckles; no, W won't beat us, not so easily. So I argued with her father and it was getting harsh. My mom, of course, scolded me, she seemed very angry and disappointed in me; and I couldn't make them see that this wasn't what it seemed. It was infuriating. But the doctor finally kicked me and my mom out.

_**"What was that, Everett?"**_ My mom asked me once we were in the car.

_**"I don't wanna talk about that, mom."**_ I answered feeling angry, scared and anguished. Then I looked into my mom's eyes beseechingly. _**"Mom, you have to believe me. I didn't do any of what that man said."**_

_**"I don't know what to think, Everett."**_ My mom answered avoiding my gaze. Shit, she sounded so very disappointed in me.

_**"Mom, please."**_ I begged with teary voice.

The fact of knowing that W got to put my mom against me killed me. It was my mom, and my own mom couldn't believe me, because this stupid W played it so well. My mom was the person I loved most and now she couldn't trust me. This bullying thing that started in school was going so far, and this 'game', as W called it, was getting very nefarious and sinister.

_**"Mom, please. You know me; you know I can't do such a thing. Mom, you've raised me so you know what kind of person I am. I haven't done it."**_ I said still with teary voice because of my anguish.

_**"Sometimes I wonder if this is the person I've raised. Sometimes I don't recognize you, Darren."**_ My mom said letdown with a hint of sadness.

I felt how my heart broke into million pieces when I heard my mom saying that. I couldn't hold back my tears any longer. This was the most hurtful thing that could have happened to me. My own mother didn't know who I was, but the most hurtful was that I disappointed her, something that I never wanted. And all of this because of an ambush by W. When I arrived home, the only thing I could do was to lock myself in my bedroom and cry my heart out. I couldn't hold this; I couldn't stand this any longer. W was destroying what I loved the most in this world and I couldn't do anything to stop it. And that was when my phone buzzed.

**"How does it feel to be hated by your own mother, Criss? I warned you not to mess, but you didn't hear. Now confront the consequences. My game, my rules, Criss. - W-"**

_**"Screw you!"**_ I yelled in anger while still crying in my silent and empty bedroom.

**"Wanna keep your momma alive, Criss? Follow my rules: Do not talk to the little whore again. If I see you around her, your momma is gonna be the next victim. Remember, I know what she does every Sunday morning. -W-"**

W sent me a picture with that text message. It was a picture of my mom in the supermarket and the picture was taken in a certain distance that my mother couldn't notice it. This was scaring me a lot and the worst was that I didn't know what to do to stop this.

**"You've chosen this, Criss. You used to be moderately popular, but you've chosen the losers side. Then you, your friends and your family deserve all that a loser deserves: misery. Enjoy the game as long as you can, geek. -W-"**

This was too much. What once I saw like a game in which we could win, now was a game with no way out, a lost game. If I couldn't feel secure and positive myself, how could I make Jen and Freckles feel that we had at least a little hope?

**"Jen, I beg you, I need to see you. I can't do this anymore; I need you, Jen. Come over here, please." **

That was what I texted to Jen in my desperation. I needed her a lot because I was broken and she was the only person with who I could talk to. I felt how everything around me was falling apart and I was there, helpless.


	9. Dreams coming true

**Teenage Dream – Part 9 – Dreams coming true.**

* * *

_**"Darren?"**_ I heard Jen's voice while she was entering my bedroom.

I didn't answer. I was curled up in bed, hugging my pillow, and giving my back to the door. I had swollen, red, itchy eyes; my nose was red and irritated because of all the times I blew my nose, and my lips were puffy. I spent the entire afternoon crying like never before until Jen arrived at night. And this wasn't me. I noticed how Jen sat on my bed next to me and started caressing my curls very softly. This kind gesture made me feel even worse but better at the same time, so that was the time when I turned around and I buried my face on Jen's lap, wrapping my arms around her hips, starting to cry my heart out again.

_**"Dar, are you crying? What happened, Dar? Is there something wrong?"**_ Jen asked really concerned because she knew I almost never cried.

_**"Everything is wrong, Jenny!"**_ I cried on her lap. Somehow I couldn't stop crying and it was a very desperate situation.

_**"Hey, Dar. Shh, I'm here. Tell me what happened."**_ Jen said reassuringly but still concerned, still caressing my curls and now rubbing my back.

_**"I can't do this anymore, Jenny. I tried, I swear I tried, but I can't stand this any longer. And I feel terrible!"**_ I cried again, having trouble speaking because my voice was really shaky.

_**"What can't you do any longer, Dar?"**_ Jen asked softly still trying to calm me, but I couldn't calm.

I was with my best friend and I suddenly let out all of my repressed feelings, all the feelings that I didn't allow myself to feel because I just wanted to be fine. I was falling apart and I was weeping all the tears I held back all these years; I wasn't only weeping because of my mom, Jen, Freckles, not even because of W, the ambush and his or her wickedness. I wasn't only crying because of all that happened in my past; the daily, little and sometimes silly sad things that ever happened to me. No, I was also wailing because I couldn't imagine what would happen next, because all I could imagine was dark and horrifying, because I couldn't see hope. I was crying out because I was feeling how everything was falling apart. And how could I explain this all to Jen?

_**"All of this! Jen, I know I said we could beat W because we have something that this person doesn't have. But this idea dies away day by day and now I know we won't make it."**_ I sobbed in her lap, trying to calm but failing.

_**"Dar, we're gonna make it. Don't give up hope."**_ Jen said kindly, caressing my hair, and I felt worse.

_**"Jenny, I'm so sorry! I already gave up hope! I never wanted to disappoint neither you nor Freckles, I never wanted to blow down. I swear I wanted to give W what that person deserves! I swear I wanted to make you see that we were stronger, that it didn't matter what it'll come to be, we were going to be fine! I swear I thought that all the shit that was going to happen to us wouldn't be as bad as it is now! But I can't take it, Jen. I want to give up and be in peace again as I used to be before we messed between W and Freckles; and I feel super bad about it, because Freckles is a damn hell of amazing person and because I promised to stand by her, by you; but I can't! Jenny, I'm a horrible person!"**_ I cried my eyes out, feeling remorseful and pained and my heart was really aching.

_**"Don't talk like that, Dar. I don't recognize you when you talk like that, please."**_ Jen said concerned and I finally looked up to see her with tears in my eyes, feeling really hurt.

She had to say those words. She said exactly the same words than my mom said earlier and it hurt deep in my heart. Somehow, it seemed I couldn't do anything well; as if it didn't matter what I could do, I always ended up disappointing the ones I loved the most. If I was feeling bad before, it was nothing compared to how I was feeling now that I heard Jen's words. Maybe I was the problem, not W. Jen was looking at me bewildered and I knew she felt bad because she obviously realized that her words hurt me.

_**"Dar..."**_ Jen started saying with trembling voice, feeling guilty for something she wasn't completely sure.

_**"Have I disappointed you too as I disappointed my own mom? Can't you see who I am anymore? Do you also think I'm a stupid boy that the only thing that can do is to screw everything up? Do you also think I'm a hideous boy?"**_ I asked with choked voice, breaking down in tears, still looking into Jen's eyes although I couldn't see clearly her eyes because of the tears.

_**"Darren Everett Criss."**_ Jen said firmly and kind of upset. _**"You're none of that and you've never disappointed anyone because everybody knows what kind of warm-hearted person you are, so I do not want to hear you talk that way again. Clear?" **_

Jen said it so firmly and conclusively that the only thing I could do was to stare at her with eyes wide open and nod. She really knew the way to shut me up and put my feet on the ground.

_**"Now I want you to listen to me very intently, okay? And don't you dare to interrupt me, Darren Everett Criss."**_ Jen said firmly and bossy, looking fixedly into my eyes. Whoa! That was the scary Jen.

_**"Okay."**_ I answered shyly and kinda scared, wiping my tears away.

_**"First of all: You are not a horrible person. What the heck was in your mind to think that?"**_ Jen asked bossy and incredulous.

_**"Because I..." **_

_**"Do not answer it. It was a rhetorical question. I know your answer is gonna be lame and completely erroneous."**_ Jen said severely and I just stared at her as if she was a kind of a commander. _**"Listen to me, Darren." **_Jen said placing her hands on my cheeks to look at me pervasively. _**"You're flawless and people who know you think that. Do not let that a stupid asshole who only wants to fuck everything up, make you think that stupidity. You must hold on to the people who love you just the way you are. And you? You're pretty awesome. And I'm not lying here, I'm sick of lies so I'll tell you all I think, I don't care if I'm rude or not. Do you get it?"**_

_**"Yes."**_ I said lowly, looking into her eyes.

_**"I can't hear you, Everett."**_ Jen said harshly.

_**"Yes."**_ I repeated this time louder.

_**"Good."**_ Jen said roughly. _**"Because feeling as you were feeling is exactly what that moron wants you to feel. Do you understand that it's like that?"**_

_**"Jen... It's not..." **_

_**"Do you understand that it's like that, Everett?" **_Jen asked again severely.

_**"Yes."**_ I answered looking down because she was right.

_**"Then, why the fuck would you let that moron make you feel that way?"**_ Jen asked.

_**"I don't know, Jen. I just..." **_

_**"Do not answer me that question. Think about it first. Think, Darren, think!" **_

_**"I didn't want it. I was feeling that way because I let myself be beaten by W and his or her goal. I was afraid, Jen. If you only knew what that person has done..."**_ I answered with choked voice looking at my lap and starting to shed tears again.

_**"Then tell me."**_ Jen demanded bossy.

I started telling Jen all that happened when I went to the hospital, telling her my argument with Freckle's father, the ambush by W, how her father forbidden me to see her again, I told Jen how my mom was disappointed in me and I told her all the text messages W sent me. Mostly, I told her how I felt about all of this. When I finished talking, Jen was looking at me worried, yet she was still looking at me firmly.

_**"I don't have way out, Jen. Whatever I decide to do is gonna hurt someone. I'm just trapped on this and I can't move. What am I supposed to do if there's nothing I can do?"**_ I cried again feeling deeply despondent. I curled up into Jen and I rested my head on her lap again while she held me in her arms.

_**"It's hard. Yes, damn, it is."**_ Jen said with shaky voice. **_"But we knew from the beginning that it would be hard."_**

_**"Not like this, Jen! Can't you understand? If I help Freckles, my mom is gonna end up hurt. If I don't help Freckles, they're gonna hurt her. If I decide to stay out of the situation, they're gonna hurt everybody anyway and they're gonna win because we're nothing if we stay apart. If I decide to keep holding on, they're gonna hurt everybody I love until they destroy everything, even if I try to keep everybody safe. I won't be able to make it, Jen. We lost the game from the beginning and we were just so blind to see that. We never had a chance. Look everything that has happened to us and we still don't have a damn clue of who W could be!"**_ I exclaimed feeling frustrated and dismal.

_**"You're forgetting that you're not alone on this. You're forgetting that you aren't the only one who must be brave and strong, you think that you have to give us the strength to hold on. You shouldn't carry the world upon your shoulders, Darren. You're helping us, and we're gonna help you; because, as you said, we're nothing if we stay apart. We're a team and we're gonna protect each other."**_ Jen said with her usual kindness but also firmly. _**"We all are weak, Darren. But we have our strength. Look at Freckles, all she had to go through; she received the worst part and she is still standing because she believes in us. Yes, she often breaks down and feels hopeless; because she's a human being and she has feelings, they hurt her and she can't take it all; but she still faces them. Look at me, Darren. They're messing with my family and my brother, Dar; and it hurts me like hell and I often feel as though there's no solution; I tried several times to stay out. But I'm still here because I know that we, all together, are gonna make it and we're gonna kick W's ass. You said it once, Dar. And look at yourself." **_Jen said with teary eyes but convinced. _**"You faced those bullies several times and you kicked their ass. Do you really think that W isn't worried about this? Do you really think that W's plan is going exactly as this person thought it would be? No, I'm sure W is threatening us with things like those because this person is scared, because we don't give up despite all the shit, because we still face them. And do you wanna know something?"**_

_**"What?" **_

_**"This is the biggest fear that a bully can have." **_

_**"Which one?"**_

_**"The fact that we're facing them. Bullies always think that no one can stand up to face them, because they think they're superior. And when a bullied person faces the bully despite the harassment and violence, the bullies feel lost. And that's the part when everything goes out of control for them, when they start failing because they're forced to plan certain things that never planned before; therefore they make a lot of mistakes. And when they make those mistakes is when the bullied person wins. The bullied person doesn't know it because is hurt and can't see anything good, but the bullied person wins after all."**_ Jen said smiling faintly.

_**"You're probably right, Jen. But what happens when the bullied person keeps being bullied with terrible things? What happens when the bullied person can't see a damn way to get out of this and end with this shit?"**_ I asked looking at Jen more calmed but still distressed.

_**"Well, that's a conformist attitude. You know why? Because there's always a way out for terrible things, but it's really hard; so people prefer not to face this hard thing because it's an exhausting job and it's easier to try to survive and adapt to mediocrity than fighting for ideals."**_ Jen said talking as self-confident as a politician. _**"We can change this situation. And it's gonna be tough and hard; because all changes that imply a dramatic change from what we are used to see and feel is always difficult, just for the simple fact that it's something that people reject because it's outside the protocol of what is normal and pathetic. Every change we want to do is hard, because it involves having a strong will and because we need to be aware that, on our way to change things, we're going to fall over and over again until you think that you can no longer move forward. But if we continue to the end, we will finally have the strength to do it, and we will. But there is always a solution, it's up to people to fight for it or not. What would you like to do?"**_

_**"I'd like to say I'm going to move forward and fight for my ideals. But I know I wouldn't be able to do it; because right there you described a strong person, and I'm not strong. I'm weak and a coward."**_ I said sadly looking down, feeling disappointed in myself.

_**"You're neither weak nor a coward. You're just scared and it's normal considering the way W has threatened you."**_ Jen said reassuringly and kindly, caressing my cheek. _**"I asked what you would like to do, not what you are going to do now. Forget that your mom is involved, forget that you met Freckles' dad and he told you all of those terrible things; imagine there's only you, me, and Freckles and we're being harassed by W, but not as bad as that person is doing now. Imagine this is a simple bullying. What would you do?"**_

_**"I'd kick that person's ass and I'd stick with you and Freckles no matter what, because you're my friends and I wouldn't like to see you suffering."**_ I answered frankly.

_**"Then, there's your answer."**_ Jen said shrugging.

_**"No, Jen. There's not the answer. Because want it or not, my mom is involved, Freckles' dad thinks I'm a pervert and he wouldn't allow me to see her, and this is not a damn simple bullying. So there's not a fucking answer. It'd be an answer if I were facing an imaginary situation in which we have a lot of chances; but reality is I'm facing this nasty situation in which I have no chances. That's the real deal."**_ I exclaimed troubled and unsettled.

_**"You're wrong, Dar."**_ Jen said looking at me fixedly and I looked at her in disbelief. _**"There's something I learned forcibly. We see things as bad as we want to see them, but we think it's actually that bad because it's something we see in our subconscious. Truth is, nothing is as bad as it seems. Yes, I won't deny that shit happens, but it's up to us the way we take that shit. Chances are whether we let that shit be bigger than it actually is, or we try to see a positive side of it and not give a damn for that shit. Would you like to kick that person's ass? Then do it. Would you like to stick with me and Freckles? Do it. Would you like to move forward and fight for your ideals? Just do it. The only one who's gonna stop you from doing what you want is only yourself; because after all, life is what you make of it. My advice? Let's make it rock."**_

_**"Yeah, that's amazing. But really, Jen? Sometimes we're forced to choose things we don't want because there's no option, because if we don't do what they want, they're gonna hurt someone we love. So what do you do now?"**_ I asked looking away.

_**"Have you ever thought that you can hurt people you love because they realize you're doing something you don't want and you're unhappy for that?"**_ Jen asked looking deeply into my eyes and I was just bewildered. I never thought about it to be honest. _**"Let me tell you something... People who you love and love you back are gonna get even more hurt if they see that you're doing something you dislike only because of them than if they get hurt because you stood up for something good in your life. Do you know why? Because people who love you are gonna feel guilty for making you feel unhappy. One way or another, they're gonna end up hurt, we can't avoid it. Thing is, if you feel good with yourself and you love what you do, then you're gonna be strong enough to help them get rid of their suffering, you're gonna be able to heal their wounds. But if not... Then, how would you be able to help them if you can't even help yourself?" **_

_**"I...I don't know."**_ I whispered looking down and really thoughtful.

_**"I do believe that we all have pain in our lives and we always get hurt for different reasons. Always. But I also believe that when we get hurt and we keep going thinking that maybe tomorrow is gonna get better, then we grow stronger. If we had an easy life, then we'd always be weak and that sucks, doesn't it? I do believe that just because today wasn't great, doesn't mean tomorrow won't be fucking fantastic. We have to be patient. I learned that life is about it and if we analyze this objectively, then we realize it's pretty awesome."**_ Jen said shrugging and smiling faintly. _**"I learned that on the rollercoaster of life, you can kick and scream or just have a fucking great time. What would you choose?"**_

_**"To have a fucking great time."**_ I answered now looking into Jen's eyes. Never anyone made me see this point of view as Jen has done.

_**"Then make it come true. You and only you can make it. You make the decisions and you're the owner of your own life, no one else can decide what to do with your life. Keep it in mind."**_ Jen said smiling at me with her comfortingly smile. _**"Do whatever you want, you're free. No one can push you to do something you don't want, not even your friends or family. Don't be afraid to make mistakes, because we learn from our mistakes. Write your own life just the way you want and get royalties for that."**_ Jen winked and I finally smiled.

_**"Can I write you on it?"**_ I asked with choked voice, looking at Jen deeply into her eyes feeling really thrilled.

_**"I'm afraid I'd have to think about it."**_ Jen joked giggling softly. _**"Come here, dummy."**_ Jen said smiling sweetly.

I got closer to her with a wide smile on my face and I curled up in her, resting my head on her lap and wrapping my arms around her hips while she held me in her arms, caressing my hair. Jen was that person who could always make me find the way whenever I was lost, only she could do that to me so easily.

_**"I love you, Jenny."**_ I whispered, closing my swollen eyes, feeling really exhausted but better than hours earlier.

_**"I love you too, Dar."**_ She said smoothly before kissing my forehead. _**"Even if sometimes I want to punch your face and you make me look like a grumpy mother, I love you." **_

Yes, that was my best friend and I wouldn't change her for anything in world.

* * *

You opened your eyes very slowly to find out you were in your own bedroom alone. Your head was aching too much and your eyes were heavy as if you had been sleeping for days. You didn't know why you were still in your bed if you had to go to school because it was Friday. You didn't remember what the last thing you did was and why you were wearing those clothes. You grabbed your phone that was on the nightstand; it was weird because you used to leave it under your pillow. It was 10 in the morning and you were super late for school, but then you looked the date and it was Saturday. Saturday? Why if hours earlier was Thursday? You couldn't get it and your head ached even more when you tried to sit on the bed. You were feeling really weak, so you lay in bed over again. You tried to remember what you did on Friday, a missing day in your memory, but you couldn't remember. It was like a blank spot in your memory. Someone suddenly entered your bedroom. It was your dad. What was he doing there? He wasn't used to be home Saturday mornings.

_**"Hi, little doll. I see you're finally awake. How are you feeling?"**_ Your dad said kindly, walking towards you and sitting on the edge of the bed.

Little doll? Really? He hasn't called you like that like in years. And why was he being nice to you? As far as you remembered, your father wasn't that kind since he got his new job as a chief administrative officer of a real estate company; because he was used to worry only about work and he barely spent time with you. And he was smiling fondly, gosh; you couldn't remember the last time he smiled at you.

_**"My head hurts but I'm fine."**_ You answered weakly.

_**"It's normal, little doll. After all you had to go through."**_ Your father said softly, caressing your cheek. What was that? This person couldn't be your father; but you liked it anyway._** "You should rest. Do you want anything to eat or drink?"**_

_**"No, I'm fine."**_ You answered still amazed by your father's attitude. _**"Dad, what do you mean with after all I had to go through? What happened?"**_

_**"I mean...the hospital and medication..."**_ Your father answered now frowning and unsure.

_**"What? Hospital? Medication? What's that?"**_ You asked completely bewildered and your father seemed to be just as bewildered as you were.

_**"Well, you had a kind of accident."**_ Your father answered still frowning.

_**"An accident? Are you kidding me?"**_ You asked disturbed. Obviously you couldn't remember it, you had no idea what your father was talking about and that was making you feel both frustrated and afraid.

_**"No, I'm not. But it wasn't something serious. You just suffered a breakdown surely caused because you worry too much about school. I think you should take more free time to relax and enjoy yourself, little doll."**_ Your father answered quickly, still caressing your cheek and frowning. He was evidently worried about something, but you couldn't tell the reason. _**"Let me ask you something... What were you doing last night?" **_

_**"I... I think was doing homework. Yes, my Spanish homework."**_ You answered trying to remember what you actually did. And yes, that was what you were doing; at least it was what you remembered._** "Why do you ask? Wasn't I doing it?" **_

_**"No, I mean yes. You were doing your Spanish homework. I was just asking because I saw a Spanish book in the living room and I didn't know if it was yours or your sister's."**_ Your father answered shortly and now he looked away concerned.

_**"I'm sorry, dad. It's weird because I was doing it here in my bedroom. I'm sorry; it wasn't my intention to leave my Spanish book in the living room."**_ You answered quickly because you knew how mad he could get whenever you or your sister left your books in the living room.

_**"No, it's okay."**_ You father answered, smiling kindly and caressing your cheek again. That was weird. _**"Maybe your sister left it there because she was trying to copy the homework." **_

_**"But she doesn't attend that class."**_ You said frowning and confused.

_**"Well, it doesn't matter, little doll. The important thing is that you did your Spanish homework and that you're very smart, studious and responsible. I'm proud of you and I have hope someday in your future you'll succeed in whatever you decide to do." **_Your father said proudly and you felt very thrilled. This was the nicest thing your father told you in years and you finally knew you were making him feel proud of you as you always wanted.

_**"Thanks, dad. I'm trying my best."**_ You said shyly and still thrilled. You couldn't believe that your dad, an austere and reputable man, was telling you all of that.

_**"I know you are, little doll."**_ Your father said before kissing your forehead. Oh wow. That made you feel really happy, because he was never this demonstrative and affectionate person. _**"Take a rest now, I'll bring you lunch in bed later, just as when you were a little girl. Do you remember it?"**_

_**"Of course I remember it. I loved those days."**_ You answered with a happy smile on your face and your father smiled back at you.

_**"Well, then that's what I'm gonna do. And I'm gonna make sure to bring your favorite food. Lasagna, just as Garfield." **_Your father laughed jovially as he used to laugh years ago. _**"Here, I brought your favorite book. I know how much you like reading, so you can take a free time for yourself and stop worrying too much about school."**_ Your father said smiling fondly, handing you the book A Study In Scarlet by Conan Doyle. You couldn't believe he remembered all of those things. _**"I'll see you later, little doll."**_ He said kissing your forehead again to then leave the bedroom.

You were still amazed about what recently happened. Your father seemed to be that kind and gentle dad he used to be when you were a little girl. It was something weird but something that you utterly liked. Your day started with a headache and in a gloomy way, but then it turned to be a really good day. Your relationship with your dad was being enjoyable again and you couldn't ask for more. You opened the book and you read a fragment of it.

_"The reader may set me down as a hopeless busybody, when I confess how much this man stimulated my curiosity, and how often I endeavoured to break through the reticence which he showed on all that concerned himself. Before pronouncing judgment, however, be it remembered, how objectless was my life, and how little there was to engage my attention. My health forbade me from venturing out unless the weather was exceptionally genial, and I had no friends who would call upon me and break the monotony of my daily existence. Under these circumstances, I eagerly hailed the little mystery which hung around my companion, and spent much of my time in endeavouring to unravel it." _

Somehow, this reminded you of yourself. Somehow, you felt as if you were that person with no friends and objectless life, your health seemed to be just like that and of course you thought your daily existence was monotonous. And somehow and for unexplained reasons, you felt as if there was a man in your life who was stimulating your curiosity; but you just couldn't tell who this man was. Suddenly, you started reading the book with more interest and curiosity. You felt as if you were John Watson.

* * *

_**"No, this tee makes me look like a fool. I totally look like Waldo, Jen! No way, no way. Imagine if Odlaw catches me. No, really, Jen, you're not helping. When I said I needed help to choose what to wear, I never imagined you wanted to make me look like an idiot!"**_ I said kind of upset, looking at myself in the mirror.

_**"For god's sake, Darren! You're worse than a girl."**_ Jen said behind me in disbelief but a bit amused. "_**It's only a date, it's not like you're going to the Milan Fashion Week."**_

_**"You know what? The point of a date is to impress the girl, not to freak her out because you look like an oddball."**_ I said frowning looking at the horrid matching outfit Jen has chosen for me to wear.

_**"Oh my God. You're insufferable, Darren."**_ Jen said laughing out loud and I looked at her upset.

_**"Why are you laughing? This is a serious thing! She's gonna run away and she's surely gonna scream 'I found you, Waldo!' Jen, help me! I'm in a plight. This is not good, not good at all."**_ I said hysterically, taking off that awful shirt and dropping to the floor all the clothes in my closet.

_**"Darren, calm your tits! You're being so overdramatic. Since when are you a drama queen? Oh gosh." **_Jen said giggling but a bit exasperated.

_**"You're not helping, Jen. It's supposed that my best friend must help me look super swell on my first date, not like a creep." **_I said annoyed, still looking for something cool to wear.

_**"Well, you wouldn't wear that amazing black leather coat with those black pants."**_ Jen said shrugging while she sat on my bed, looking at me amused.

_**"Are you fucking kidding me, Jen? I wouldn't want to look like Neo! Then what? Would I be moving in slow motion trying to dodge bullets? What's your problem with clothes and fictional characters, Jen? Dammit." **_I exclaimed fretful in disbelief. I heard how Jen laughed out loud again and it annoyed me.

_**"She could be your Trinity, you know?"**_ Jen joked, of course making fun of me.

_**"Yeah, cool. You could be The Oracle. What does the future hold for me, Oracle? Oh well, the prophecy says that you'll be kicked if you look like a total prat. What does it mean, Oracle? It means you shouldn't wear those clothes, keep them for Halloween not for a date. Oh cool, thanks Oracle! You're welcome, Darren."**_ I said ironically, having a random conversation with myself.

_**"Oh, boy."**_ Jen exclaimed, giggling totally amused. _**"I'm really considering my theory that you're schizophrenic."**_

_**"Shut up, shut up!"**_ I yelled throwing a tee to Jen, right in her face. When I looked at it, I walked to her, intrigued. _**"Hey, I could wear this tee." **_I said grabbing the tee I threw to Jen.

_**"Are you kidding? This tee is completely awful!"**_ Jen exclaimed in disbelief.

_**"It's totally awesome."**_ I said putting the tee on.

_**"Awful, awful, awful!"**_ Jen yelled giggling.

_**"You know what is awful? The tickle war I'm gonna start...Now!"**_ I said laughing and bouncing on her while I started tickling her and she started laughing uncontrollably.

Jen and I spent all the morning trying to decide what I could wear for the date I had in the afternoon with Mandy. Jen spent the night at my house because we kept talking until it was dawning. We talked about everything, mostly about what I could do from now on with W and how I could I keep moving despite the threats. I think I never cried more in my whole life, for some reason I was feeling more brittle and sensitive than ever, everything seemed rough and dark; but Jen helped me a lot to feel better. I still had to fix a lot of things, like I needed to talk to my mom, I needed to talk to Freckles and I needed to talk to her father and clear up this situation. But I couldn't do it headlong; first I needed to think well how I would face it; because, after all, the threat was still in-between. Anyway, next morning I was feeling better, even if my eyes were completely puffy and swollen and I looked like shit. And I had a date with Mandy and she was going to see me like this and it sucked. I was completely nervous and eager for this date; after all she was the girl I always wanted since a long time ago. As Jen said, I was insufferable. But hey, it was normal considering that maybe this was going to be my only chance to get her, this day was like the day that would determine if I had a chance to be more than her friend or not. So I really needed to impress her, because she was this stunning, popular and sexy girl and every man on earth would want to be with her; and I was just an awkward and weird guy, I had nothing too impressive and it was kind of crazy she accepted to hang out with me. So, I really shouldn't miss this singular chance.

_**"Darren, hurry up! You really don't want to be late on your first date!"**_ Jen yelled from the corridor while I was taking a shower.

When I finished taking a shower, I looked in the mirror and I started to freak out. I wasn't ready for this. What would I talk about to her? How would I impress her? Should I go slowly or should I flirt way too much to make it obvious I was interested in her? Did she even like junk food or not? Would we stay in the restaurant all the time or would we go to another place after dinner? Was she even looking for something more or not? Damn, too many questions were popping in my mind and now I was feeling very insecure. I left the bathroom and I entered my room. Jen was lying down in my bed, reading a magazine and when she noticed I was there, standing steady, she looked at me.

_**"Are you okay? You look like a ghost, Darren."**_ Jen asked curious and concerned.

_**"I can't do this, Jen."**_ I said in shock.

_**"What? What's that?" **_Jen asked alarmed. _**"Oh no, no, no. I know what's in your mind."**_ She said now standing up and walking to me. _**"Listen, Darren. You're a beautiful boy, cute and a very funny one to talk to. She's gonna fall for you."**_ Jen winked while patting my back encouragingly.

_**"No, Jen, no. I'm not on her level. Have you seen her? She's like the perfect woman, Jen! I'm just a goofball. Jen, what if she's doing it out of pity?"**_ I asked self-conscious.

_**"That's bullshit, Darren. Of course she's not doing it out of pity. She doesn't seem that kind of girl. She could have the man she wants, and she's chosen you, so embrace it. And do not feel as if you were lower than her. You've got a lot of amazing virtues, show her them and she'll fall for you."**_ Jen said smiling kindly.

_**"No, Jen. I'm gonna screw this, I know myself. She'd think I'm a freak."**_ I said nervous and scared.

_**"Darren Everett Criss."**_ Jen said with her bossy voice. _**"Calm down or I'm gonna kick your cute ass. You're gonna rock this. Just be yourself and flirt with her, girls sometimes love when a guy says beautiful words to us. Just flatter her about how wonderful she looks or how smart or funny she is, even if she isn't. Girls love when a guy wants us not only because of our physical appearance but also because of our personality. Do it, and you'll have this shit done, I assure you."**_ Jen said encouragingly.

_**"Do you think I could make her feel I'm good enough for her?"**_ I asked with all my doubts and insecurities.

_**"Yes, I do think that. You're gonna make her feel you're the best that can happen to her."**_ Jen answered confident and positive with a big smile. _**"Do I hand you your jacket?"**_

_**"Yes, please."**_ I answered feeling more relieved but still a bit afraid. _**"Wish me luck, Jenny." **_

_**"You really don't need it if you act like yourself."**_ Jen answered with an encouraging smile.

So there I was, at Gary Danko, sitting on a table and waiting for Mandy to arrive. I looked like an idiot, waiting for a person that probably wouldn't arrive. She surely stood me up and I was there like a fool, with all my hopes and illusions. The waitress asked me twice what I'd like to order and I just answered that I was waiting for someone; and the second time she told me that my date possibly wouldn't come. Fuck that waitress, I didn't want to think about that, but I was starting to think she was right. After waiting for Mandy for a little more than an hour, I stood up; decided to go away and feeling really bad and like a stupid for thinking I could have any chance with her.

_**"You're a jerk, Darren. Of course she wouldn't want to hang out with you. What kind of girl like her would want to do such thing? Stupid, stupid! She was only fooling you, duh."**_ I said to myself very upset and sad.

The cold breeze slapped my face as I headed outside, resigned. It was as though the weather was picturing my mood, the last thing missing was the rain, as in a drama movie. But it didn't happen, fortunately. I was starting heading home when I heard a voice yelling behind me.

_**"Darren? Darren!"**_ A girl's voice yelled.

I turned around to look at Mandy running to me. She seemed to be agitated and exhausted. She was there, after one hour and half, she arrived. And she looked flawless, like holy shit, how on earth could I have got a date with her? She was wearing a red tight short dress, a black coat and heels. Her hair wasn't back onto a sleek ponytail as when she was in school as a cheerleader; her hair was brushed out in a sexy way. And her lips, her big red lips. She was outstanding. I stood there, looking at the sexy girl walking to me and when she reached me, she seemed to be sorry and ashamed.

_**"I'm so sorry, Darren! I didn't want to keep you waiting so long. I had a family problem and I couldn't make it on time. I'm really sorry."**_ She said apologetically but I was kind of upset because at this point I didn't know if she was fooling me or not. Maybe she only wanted to make fun of me.

_**"It's fine. I was going home anyway. Have a good night, Mandy."**_ I said kinda offended and I turned around to leave, but she took me by my arm.

_**"No, wait. I'm so sorry, what can I do for you to forgive me?"**_ She asked distressed, looking deeply into my eyes.

_**"Nothing, you're forgiven. It's kinda late, I have to go. See you around."**_ I said coldly because I wouldn't let her make fun of me, no matter how precious she was.

_**"I didn't want to stand you up! I just had this family problem and this is a mess and it's been a really bad day. Please, forgive me."**_ She said with choked voice and teary eyes. Then I felt like an asshole for being so rough to her.

_**"Hey, no, don't feel bad. It's fine, really."**_ I said softening my voice and rubbing her back.

Then something I wasn't expecting came to happen. She pulled me into a tight hug and rested her head on my chest as she started to cry. I was startled and I couldn't believe she was actually hugging me. It felt so freaking awesome to feel the warmth of her body, we were really close and this girl was totally driving me insane. But why was she crying? I just wrapped my arms around her and I caressed her hair softly to reassure her.

_**"What happened? Is there something wrong with your family? You know, you can count on me on whatever you want. I know you don't know me, but you can lean on me."**_ I whispered kindly still caressing her hair.

_**"Why are you so nice and cute? No boy is like this around me! Why you?" **_She sobbed on my chest.

_**"Well, that's the price of being the prettiest girl in school."**_ I said smiling. _**"But they're stupid if they aren't nice to you. I think you're a good person besides you're beautiful, maybe they don't see that. That's why I'm nice. And I'm also nice because nobody likes an asshole."**_ I said shrugging and she finally looked up at me with teary eyes but smiling faintly.

_**"Do you really think I'm the prettiest girl in school and a good person?"**_ Mandy asked looking into my eyes and with a shy and sweet smile. Oh, she was so fetching.

_**"Yes, I do really think so."**_ I answered with a bright smile, also looking into her eyes and still wrapping my arms around her. I didn't want to let her go, I wanted to stay like this with her, and I was just feeling good.

_**"You're also pretty and you're very nice." **_She said with a bright smile and she seemed to be honest that I just melted.

She was thinking I was pretty, like what the hell? Was she really saying that? I was a bit uncomfortable, though. I didn't know what to say, I wasn't used to this, to girls telling me I was pretty and all. So I came up with something really stupid but that could help me to stop being uncomfortable.

_**"Are you hungry? I really don't wanna go in there, the waitress was kinda surly; but we can go somewhere else."**_ I said quickly, trying to sound sassy and cheery.

_**"Yes, sure."**_ She answered shrugging and smiling.

_**"There's something I want to ask you, a doubt I have and it's killing me. I don't dare to ask you this..."**_ I started to say mysteriously. It was time to start being flirty and funny, so that was what I was going to do.

_**"What?"**_ She asked intrigued but also a bit suspicious.

_**"I don't know if it's proper to ask you this..." **_

_**"Just ask me, what is it?"**_ She asked even more suspiciously. I had her full attention now and it was funny.

_**"Do you like junk food?"**_ I asked as if it was the most terrible question in world, obviously amused. She seemed to be relieved now and she started laughing. I thought I'd never get tired of hearing her laugh.

_**"Is that so?"**_ She asked still laughing and I nodded with an amused smile on my face. _**"Well, I'm not used to eating junk food, but I guess I could make an exception today." **_

_**"Oh no, please. We can instead eat a **__**very healthy **_green salad if you prefer." 

_**"Oh, no! I'd rather to eat a big cheese burger. It's been years since the last time I ate one."**_ She giggled and then she looked fixedly into my eyes. She had big piercing eyes.

_**"You saved my night!"**_ I exclaimed exaggeratedly and dramatically while she laughed again. _**"I really didn't know about a good place where we could eat that green salad and shit. But now that you told me you prefer a big cheese burger, I know the perfect place where we can go."**_

I started walking with a cheerful smile and she followed me, walking next to me until she took my hand. She did it first, she took my hand and I was like dying inside. When she did it, I looked at her stunned and she was smiling at me, so I couldn't help feeling this tingling in my stomach and smile brightly at her. Everything was going better than I expected and I was feeling very different from when I was waiting for her in the restaurant. So I took her to the best place I knew and we both ordered a big cheese burger. We spent a really great night and I was just amazed. I got to know a lot of things about her: what she liked to do in her free time, what her favorite food and color were, what her favorite TV show and music style were, I found out she really enjoyed music and when I told her I loved playing instruments and sing she was stunned, she told me how it was to be a cheerleader and a lot of things. And I flirted, I flirted as a madman; and the best thing was that she seemed to enjoy it. She wasn't only a damn hell of sexy girl; she was also a really funny, cheerful and kind girl. At first I thought she would be kind of bitchy, material and shallow-minded girl because she was a cheerleader, but she surprised me and I was falling. Oh yeah. After like five hours of talking about random things and enjoying our mutual company, she told me it was kinda late and she was right. But I didn't want to leave her.

_**"Do you want me to walk you home?"**_ I asked gently and smiling. I tried to sound as a gentleman, but truth was I wanted to be with her at least a little more.

_**"I'm not going home. But if you want, you can walk me my friend's home."**_ She answered smiling sensually and damn! She was perfect, man.

_**"Well, I wouldn't let a pretty lady like you walk alone this late. So yes, I'll walk you your friend's home." **_I said flirting and smiling alluringly.

At first we walked in silence and holding hands, but it wasn't something uncomfortable, at least for me. I was feeling like super happy and I loved to be able to hold her hand like this.

_**"So, Mandy...this is your last year in high school, right?"**_ I asked curious even though I knew the answer.

_**"Yes, that's right. This is yours too, right?" **_

_**"Yeah."**_ I answered smiling and looking down while walking. _**"Have you thought what you're going to study in college?" **_

_**"Yes, I'd love to become a fashion designer. I'm working hard to get a scholarship to Otis College of Art and Design. I really want to go to Los Angeles."**_ Mandy answered smiling.

_**"Oh, I'm sure you'll get it. I've never seen such a fashionable girl as you are. It's the perfect career for you." **_I answered smiling. _**"And Los Angeles seems totally cool."**_

_**"Yes, I'm pretty excited to start college, but I'm also a bit nervous. I mean... What if I don't get it? Or like... What if that isn't what I really want to be? What if I fail? And it scares me a bit to leave San Francisco and move to Los Angeles, away from my family and friends and all. I don't know if I'd manage to do it. It's scary and it seems like a lonely life I'm gonna start since none of my friends are going to Los Angeles, I don't know."**_ Mandy said excited and really frightened.

I just giggled softly; not because I thought it was funny, but because I thought it was pretty sweet and cute. She was letting me see her as a human being and not like this perfect and unrealistic girl, she was like me; she had the same fears I had when it was about college.

"_**I guess we all have fears. I'm actually freaking out about college. But you'll make it and you're gonna be really good. Just keep being as confident and amazing as you are, and you'll get whatever you want."**_ I winked at her seductively but also encouragingly. _**"And don't worry about your friends. I'm sure you'll keep in touch with them; maybe not as often as now, but if you're true friends not even distance is gonna keep you away. And meanwhile you'll meet new people there in Los Angeles, a girl like you will have tons of friends, I'm sure."**_

"_**Why do you have faith in me? I'm just a simple girl who happened to be popular in high school, but it could be completely different in college."**_ Mandy asked curious.

_**"Maybe it could be different, maybe not; I don't know."**_ I shrugged smiling. _**"But some people have born to be surrounded by tons of friends, and you're one of them, for sure. And I bet that most of your friends are gonna be guys."**_

_**"Why?" **_

_**"Isn't it obvious?"**_ I asked looking at her sensually. _**"You're really, like really pretty, Mandy. Any boy would want to be with you."**_

_**"What about you?"**_ She asked looking at me in a way that was killing me. I was a bit nervous, so I played fool.

_**"I'd want to study theater and music. I was thinking about University of Michigan."**_ I shrugged.

_**"Yes, of course you would study something like that. You're good at it. Not for nothing you're the best in drama class."**_ Mandy said smiling.

_**"I'm not the best."**_ I said shyly and blushing because of her compliment. _**"Anyway, how do you know about my drama class?" **_I asked curious.

_**"Do you really think I was going to accept a date with a complete stranger?"**_ Mandy asked amused. _**"I did my own research about you and you're pretty amazing."**_

_**"Well, Uhm...thank you."**_ I said totally awkwardly, blushing. Damn, I was blushing. Damn, damn, damn.

So Mandy, the prettiest girl in school, that outstanding and flawless girl, was complimenting me. That was totally insane. I just couldn't deal with that; she was making me fall so hard. And she was killing me; her sexiness, her sweetness, and her cheerfulness were killing me. And she's been researching about me; so it meant that maybe she was interested in me. Could it be possible? It was more like a dream.

_**"You're cute when you blush." **_Mandy giggled amused, but not in a derisive way.

_**"I...I'm not blushing. I was just pretending to be a tomato."**_ I joked, obviously making fun of myself. That was a good way to break out of the embarrassing situation. And again, I made her laugh.

_**"You're so funny. Probably the funniest person I know."**_ Mandy laughed. _**"Anyway, I was trying to ask you something else." **_

_**"What?"**_ I asked playing fool. I knew what she wanted to ask, but I just didn't want to answer that because I knew I wouldn't be able to lie to her and I knew I wouldn't be able to control my desire to kiss her.

_**"What about you? Would you want to be with me?" **_She asked very intrigued.

_**"I thought I was with you. Unless this is my ghost talking to you instead myself and that would be creepy because I didn't even know I was a ghost now. I mean... What happened to me? When did I die?"**_ I joked nervously like an idiot, but she giggled, though.

_**"Good answer."**_ She admitted still giggling. _**"You're an awesome ghost then, like Casper, the friendly ghost." **_Mandy said continuing the joke and I totally loved it. _**"But what I meant... Would you want to be with me, like more than friends?"**_

Shit, she had to ask it straight and right away. What could I say to her? The chances were to lie to her and tell her that I only wanted her as a friend and screw all my hopes of having something more with her; or to tell her the truth and risk this new friendly and great relationship we had now. It was a tough decision.

_**"What if I tell you I'd want to be the Mickey to your Minnie?"**_ I asked looking at her seductively. Yeah, I made the decision to risk everything, but that's what I really wanted.

_**"You make a good Mickey." **_Mandy answered surprisingly, also looking at me seductively.

Was I dreaming this? And it happened really fast. Mandy stopped walking to face me and she got closer to pull me into a kiss. I felt the softness of her lips against mine and it was crazy. Her lips tasted like strawberry and pink, man. Of course I deepened the kiss and I let myself carry away for this kiss, which happened to be the most awesome thing that happened to me in these last days. I placed both of my hands on her jaw and she let me explore her mouth with my tongue while she placed her hands on my hips. Oh god, this was great. She was a damn of amazing kisser; this was the best kiss ever. And the kiss lasted several minutes, as if neither of us wanted to end it.

_**"I never thought Mickey could be a good kisser."**_ Mandy whispered in front of my lips and I just smiled in front of hers, now looking at her almost in a lustful way; because, man, she knew how to turn me on even with a simple kiss.

_**"Let's do not forget that Mickey is kissing Minnie. And Mickey could use more kisses."**_ I whispered in front of her lips and now it was me the one who kissed her, deeper this time and more passionate.

_**"As much as I'd love to keep kissing Mickey, Minnie has to get some sleep." **_Mandy whispered smiling.

_**"That's fine. Guess they have time to spend later."**_ I said smiling back and then I held her hand again.

We walked in silence, both of us with bright smiles on our faces. What I always dreamed came to happen. And it couldn't be better. I was still waiting to wake up, because honestly I couldn't believe this was actually happening. Not several minutes later, we arrived to Mandy's friend's home. Now we were in front of a huge and elegant house and Mandy stopped in the front door. Before knocking the door, she looked at me.

_**"It was a lovely night, Darren." **_

_**"I think the same. We could have more of this."**_ I said smiling brightly because I was extremely happy.

_**"I'd love it."**_ Mandy said smiling and she leaned over to peck my lips again.

_**"Mandy?"**_ A girl's voice said from the front door.

_**"Oh, Alice. I was just about to knock the door." **_Mandy answered nervously looking at her friend, another cheerleader.

I noticed how Alice looked at me suspiciously and in disgust and then she looked at Mandy raising an eyebrow as if she were incredulous. Man, I felt totally bad. Why was that girl looking at me that way?

_**"I thought you had a date."**_ Alice said still suspiciously.

_**"Yes, that's right. Alice, this is Darren."**_ Mandy said smiling, introducing me. I smiled shyly at Alice but she only looked at me serious. I felt very awkward.

_**"You gotta be kidding me, Mandy. Why would you have a date with an oddball like this guy? Jim was way better; this guy is just a loser now."**_ Alice said whispering kinda mad and in disbelief. But I heard her and I felt really bad. Anyway, I pretended that I haven't heard her, I just looked down.

_**"Jim was an asshole. He only wanted to get in my pants. And he's not an oddball; he's pretty awesome and cute."**_ Mandy whispered and I smiled faintly.

_**"Mandy, you're very blind, really, Mandy. What is wrong with you? He looks like a creep. Have you noticed his shaggy curly hair? That's so uncool. I can't believe this!"**_ Alice whispered and now I really wanted to go away.

_**"Stop it, Alice."**_ Mandy whispered kinda upset and then she looked at me apologetically. _**"I'm sorry, Darren. I... I... see you later. Thank you for walking me here." **_

_**"It's fine, not problem at all. I guess I'll see you around."**_ I said shyly looking at her embarrassed.

_**"Yes, I think so. Goodnight."**_ Mandy said with a half-smile.

_**"Goodnight."**_ I said waving my hand shyly.

Then Mandy and Alice entered the house and I just stood there for a few seconds, feeling completely awkward and humiliated. This certainly wasn't on my plan. I didn't want to go home yet, so I just walked to nowhere in particular, thinking about the amazing night and how bad it ended. My phone buzzed.

From Jen: **"How was that date?"**

To Jen: **"We kissed and it was awesome." **

Yes, it really was, but I wasn't feeling really good. I knew there was another reason besides the way that Mandy's friend has talked about me. Yes, there was something else.

* * *

Your day was going pretty well. Your mother wasn't at home because she had a conference in Chicago, so she was going to be out the city all the weekend; but your father stayed home all day long talking to you as a lot of years ago, you both talked about a lot of things, mostly about politics and literature. You missed talking to your father and he was apparently surprised by the way you knew a lot about this stuff and the way you could talk as if you were the same age, unlike your sister. So your sister was a big trouble that day because she seemed to be jealous. In a time of day, when you and her where alone in the living room, she got closer to you, looking at you with her typical bitchy look.

_**"Stop pretending, you stupid nerd girl. Here we all know you aren't sick anymore, so stop pretending. Do you really think that dad would love you from one day to the other? You naive."**_ She said malicious but you decided to ignore her. You knew her pretty well and she wasn't the kindest person in world.

_**"Whatever, Amanda. I don't want to waste my time with you; so if you excuse me..."**_ You said coldly trying to go away from her, but she took you roughly by the arm.

_**"Listen to me, you stupid. You're not gonna keep dad away from me, okay? You're not gonna screw all that I got because of your stupid need to be the center of attention. You're not gonna get his money."**_ She said archly.

_**"I don't want his money; I'm not that kind of person. I think you're the only one who wants all his money; it's what you always wanted, right? You don't care about anything but money. You're so nasty."**_ You said in disgust looking at her, frowning. _**"Money isn't everything, Amanda. It's time for you to learn it. Oh, right! You don't even know how to open a book because it's not a lipstick!"**_ You said sarcastically and she dug her nails into your arm, hurting you.

_**"Listen, idiot. Don't mess with me or I'm gonna make you miserable. Get it?"**_ She said menacingly.

_**"I'm not scared of an artificial girl."**_ You said provocatively and firmly. And she slapped you, she slapped you very hard.

_**"What is going here, girls?"**_ Your dad's voice said behind you two and then Amanda let out your arm to look at your dad with a harmless and angelical face.

_**"Nothing, daddy. She only asked me to help her with her script for her drama class. And I had to slap her, according to the script. I didn't want to do it, but she almost begged me and, how could I refuse if she was asking me help? Right, little sister?"**_ Your sister said with a fake sweet voice, looking at you.

_**"Yes, that's right, dad. Don't worry about us."**_ You answered with the same hypocrite sweet voice than your sister.

_**"I like to see you both getting along and spending time together. Someday, I'll plan a family picnic or something."**_ Your dad said with an excited smile, believing the lie.

_**"I'd love it, daddy!"**_ Your sister exclaimed with falsehood, hugging your dad as he smiled brightly and kissed her forehead.

_**"I'm glad you like the idea. What do you think, daughter?"**_ Your dad asked now looking at you and you smiled hypocritically. Ugh, you hated to be like this.

_**"It's a good idea."**_ You answered.

_**"Good, I'm gonna plan it, then. Well, girls, I'll let you practice. Have a good time."**_ Your father said smiling and then he left the room. As soon as he left the room, your sister looked at you wickedly again.

_**"Little liar."**_ She said smiling archly. _**"Beware your actions, you stupid. And remember I'm dad's favorite. Don't try to ruin it or I'm gonna revenge and you have no idea how much you'll suffer."**_

_**"Bring it on, Amanda. And screw you."**_ You said coldly and defiantly.

_**"What did you say?"**_ She asked now five inches away from your face.

_**"Screw you." **_You repeated defiant and firmly.

And your sister lunged at you to slap you very hard. But you didn't stand there steady, no; you slapped her as well and she looked at you with tears of anger in her eyes. Then she started pulling your hair and scratching your arm and you tried to stop her because you really didn't want to hurt her even if you didn't like her. You didn't like violence so you couldn't understand why you were being this cold and rough if you weren't like this as far as you remembered. Then a flashback popped in your mind, _you punching a guy on his face._ You stepped back, away from your sister, astonished. You didn't remember to have punched a guy; you never punched someone because you were against of physical aggression. Maybe it was just something you've dreamed or something. You looked at your sister who was still looking at you in anger.

_**"Don't mess with me, you coward and stupid girl!"**_ Your sister yelled in anger but you were still astonished, so you turned around to leave your house as far and fast as possible to clear your mind.

You walked to nowhere in particular and when you finally became aware, you realized you were near the Golden Gate Bridge. You've walked a lot and you were really far from your house and it was kinda late. But you didn't want to go home, so you just sat on a bench near a tree. For some reason, this place seemed familiar to you, maybe when you were a little girl you went there with your parents. You just sat there and you stared at the grass, thinking about how different you were now and not understanding why; thinking about the flashback you had and thinking why things seemed so odd now, since you woke up this morning. You were so deep in thought that you didn't realize it was very dark and now there was someone standing in front of you. You looked up to see a guy with curly dark hair and big hazel eyes.

_**"Freckles? What are you doing here alone this late?"**_ The boy asked intrigued looking at you with a nice smile on his face. You looked at him deeply into his eyes and then you frowned before answering him.

_**"Sorry. Do I know you?"**_


	10. A new clue

A/N: Hello guys! I'm sorry I couldn't make it, to upload this chapter on Saturday morning! But here it is now! I wanted to thank you for your reviews guys, it seems you were intrigued to know what happened next, so here you'll find it out! Yes, bad things are happening, right? But with time it'll get better, I have all the story already planned but I won't tell you, it's better if you find it out! Thank you a lot for reading this story and I hope you're enjoying this as it seems when I read your reviews and that makes me happy! Hope not to disappoint you and hope you can keep reading this! Again, thank you for your words, it's amazing the way it encourages me to keep doing this, something that started as a kind of game because I was bored some random day! Thank you for your support, really. Now I'll let you read this chapter, I hope you can enjoy this!

* * *

**Teenage Dream – Chapter 10 – A new clue.**

* * *

_**"Sorry. Do I know you?"**_

That was what Freckles asked, looking at me certainly bewildered. I wasn't expecting her to be there, not after what happened to her and how her father acted so overprotective. This was like an eventual and unpredictable encounter and I was glad to see her again because I thought I wouldn't be able to see her as often as before because of her father.

_**"Oh, let me introduce myself. I'm that quirky and weird guy who likes to fool around with his music."**_ I laughed, sitting next to her on the bench.

It was funny the way she answered me when I asked her what she was doing there this late. But then I thought it may not be funny. Chances were, whether she pretended not to know me to make a parody of her father's threat with not seeing me again, or because W threatened her and she was suspecting that someone was following her like the last time. Hopefully it was the first supposition. But something absurdly rare happened.

_**"I don't know you, leave."**_ Freckles said with trembling voice and getting away from me, still sitting on the bench.

She seemed to be actually perturbed and edgy because of...fear? She was looking at me really frightened and she placed her hand inside her satchel bag. Why was she looking at me that way? She was really good at acting, no wonder why she was Teddy's favorite. Yes, she surely received a threat from W. So I got closer to her to whisper something only she could hear.

_**"Do you suspect that W is here?"**_ I whispered in her ear and she pulled me abruptly, standing up.

I looked up at her, confused by her reaction. Why would she do something like that? She was really rough and rude. And she was both scared and furious. What the hell was wrong with her? Now she was like defending herself with a pen, grabbing it firmly and looking at me with suspicion. Really?

_**"What are you doing, Freckles?" **_I asked cautiously, standing up slowly.

_**"Why do you call me Freckles? Who are you?"**_ She asked edgily, still grabbing that pen firmly. I started walking towards her very slowly. _**"No, no! Stay there, do not come near me!"**_ She yelled scared.

Okay, damn. I was starting to worry. I couldn't get why she was treating me that way and she didn't seem to be acting. It really seemed that she was scared and she was asking me all of those things for real. Why? Maybe W threatened her like me, in a way she was thinking she couldn't do anything but stay away from me.

_**"Has W threatened you? Is that so, isn't it?"**_ I asked kinda worried and walking slowly towards her.

_**"I told you to stay there! Do not move!"**_ She yelled angrily and I raised my eyebrows in surprise, rising up my hands.

_**"Alright...I'll stay here..."**_ I said now puzzled and disquiet. _**"What did W tell you now?"**_

_**"Who the hell is W? What are you talking about and why do you act as if you knew me?"**_ She asked rudely, frowning.

_**"What?"**_ I asked befuddled and I felt how my body started trembling.

Yes, I was scared because I didn't know why she was acting like that. She seemed to be telling the truth, she seemed to have no idea who W was and who I was. This wasn't possible; I only wanted to know what W has told her now. But she didn't answer, she was there expectant to hear my answer and still threatening me with the stupid pen.

_**"I do know you. We are friends, Freckles."**_ I answered trying to sound quiet.

_**"You're confusing me with someone else. I've never ever seen you in my life. I don't know who you are."**_ She said again with trembling voice and afraid.

_**"I'm not confusing you with someone else. What's going on, Freckles? I don't like this, this isn't funny, you know?"**_ I said concerned.

_**"Of course this isn't funny. A stranger is stalking me and you think I'll find it funny? No, I said stay there!"**_ She yelled when I tried to walk towards her again. Shit, this wasn't funny at all. _**"So, if you say we're friends...Then tell me what my favorite color is."**_

_**"Seriously?"**_ I asked in disbelief and I giggled nervously. She couldn't be asking me this, but she didn't laugh and she was looking at me with suspicion. _**"Your favorite color is blue, your favorite food is lasagna, you love any kind of chocolate, and you're really good at Spanish." **_I answered looking into her eyes while was frowning and seemed to be more frightened.

_**"You guessed it by chance."**_ She said with trembling voice and grabbing the pen even more firmly.

_**"You think that telling the things that make you feel sad it's pointless because you think those things are stupid little things and people don't care about it because there are worse things; when you're sad, you tend to blow off steam with your pillow; you have low self-esteem and you think you aren't pretty, even though is not like that; you're a lovely person who always cares about others but you feel as if no one cares about you; you've been through rough situations in your life and people are used to call you nerd because you're smarter than them. You have a family who isn't always there for you, you have troubles with them and you feel alone."**_ I said almost in a whisper and smiling both sadly and kindly while she was looking at me troubled. _**"When you laugh your cheeks blush and your laughter is catchy, when you're happy your eyes are brighter, when you're sad you look down and you try to be strong and hide it, when you're nervous you play with your hands, when you're tired you're clumsier than normal and it's adorable. When you are at home you like to wear a beret and you look like a French girl but you don't like to be seen in public like this. And you're here because this is our place. I do know you, Freckles." **_

_**"How do you know all of those things? Those are private things! Who are you?"**_ She exclaimed completely scared, trembling.

_**"We're friends, good friends. You told me those things and I saw you enough to find which your involuntary movements are."**_ I said while she was still looking at me bewildered and I walked towards her. She didn't say anything because she was puzzled. _**"I'm Darren, Freckles."**_

_**"I don't know you. I've never seen you before. I don't know who you are."**_ She said kinda distressed. She definitely wasn't acting, so I felt more distressed than her.

_**"If I didn't know you, then I wouldn't know who Bobby is."**_ I said even though I still didn't know who this guy was, but I knew that guy was someone important to her and someone that maybe only few people knew. And it was like that, she seemed really scared.

_**"How do you know about Bobby? No one knows about Bobby. Get out of here, you're creeping me out, get out of here! I don't know you! You're stalking me!"**_ She yelled in shock.

_**"Hey, hey! Calm down, Freckles! I'm not trying to hurt you, I'm your friend."**_ I said placing a hand on her shoulder to reassure her.

_**"Do not touch me!"**_ She yelled angrily, pushing me and stepping back. _**"And do not call me Freckles, you stalker!" **_

_**"I'm sorry."**_ I said anguished.

Whatever was happening to her it wasn't good and it was making me feel really bad and worried. She seemed to have lost memory. Holy shit. That was it; that was what happened to her, surely because of her sickness. This couldn't be happening. She really didn't seem to know me and she didn't seem to remember anything about us. I was now completely afflicted.

_**"You don't remember why you were in hospital, do you?"**_ I asked looking at her distressed.

_**"How do you know about it?"**_ She asked scared.

_**"I told you already. Do you remember where you were before you were in hospital?" **_

_**"Yes, of course. But it isn't any of your business."**_ She replied defensively.

_**"Actually it is, because you were with me. Do you remember that?" **_

_**"No, no! You're lying; you're trying to confuse me. I don't know you, I've never seen you, and I've never talked to you. Get out of here!"**_ She exclaimed troubled.

_**"You were sick and I took you to the hospital. You've lost your memory, Freckles. Please, try to remember. We were together, at my house. Remember, please!"**_ I begged anguished.

_**"Stop it!" **_

_**"Do you at least remember who W is? Please tell me yes." **_

_**"I don't know what you're talking about. Get out!"**_ She yelled nervously and I walked towards her. _**"Do not move or I'm gonna hurt you!"**_

_**"With that pen?"**_ I asked looking at the pen she was holding firmly. _**"The only you're gonna get is to scratch my face with that pen." **_

_**"I'll call the police!"**_ She threatened in fear.

_**"Freckles... Please."**_ I said imploring, looking into her eyes.

_**"Do not move. Stay there! And I don't want to see you again, you stalker! I swear if I see you again, I'll call the police!"**_ She threatened, stepping back.

_**"I won't leave you alone, not with all the things that are happening and you don't remember. I won't let anybody hurt you." **_

_**"What? No one is trying to hurt me! Do not move!"**_ She said starting to walk away.

_**"Where are you going?" **_

_**"It's none of your business!"**_ She yelled still walking away but still seeing if I was following her.

_**"Are you crazy? Are you going somewhere else alone this late? It's dangerous!"**_ I exclaimed worried and I started walking behind her.

_**"Do not follow me! I want you away from me!"**_ She yelled but I reached her and I took her by the arm to stop her.

Slap. She slapped me and hard. At first I looked down, but then I looked into her eyes very anguished, with teary eyes. She frowned and then she ran away, disappearing in the dark. She has lost her memory, but maybe not completely or maybe yes; maybe it was temporary or maybe not. I had no idea but this was worrying me, but mostly I was feeling bad, really bad. She couldn't remember me and our friendship and she made it clear that she didn't want to see me; and she was Freckles, she was my friend and I was still feeling weird whenever I was around her. I just couldn't picture being away from her, it'd feel wrong, I knew it. I realized I needed her more than I thought, as I'd have never imagined. Sadly, I always realize this when I lose it, I couldn't lose her. I needed her because she was... Freckles and no more laps. But how could I be with her if she was thinking I was a stalker? She didn't remember anything about me and it was breaking me. And she didn't remember W either and this was dangerous, because she would be alone again and W would destroy her now more than ever. I knew W was going to take advantage of this, because it was the perfect opportunity for W. I couldn't let this happen, no way; no one was going to hurt Freckles and now, more than ever, I was willing to protect her whatever it takes, I needed to be strong for her and for me, because she was important to me, very important. I only needed to find the way to do this, because this was going to be like starting over again. I didn't know where to start and I needed help, I couldn't do this alone, I needed Jen.

To Jen:** "Jen, there's a big trouble. A really bad one and it involves Freckles. I need to see you, I'm not joking." **

That was the only I could think of in that moment, because my mind was spinning, I was really disturbed. Few seconds after my phone buzzed. It was impossible Jen could answer so fast because she was surely already sleeping.

**"So, this is interesting. I win, Criss. The bitch doesn't even know who you are and I'm ready to attack her. Lovely night, isn't it? -W-" **

So W listened to me and Freckles talking. So W was there. I looked around kinda terrified but I couldn't see anyone. It was all dark and silent. But there was someone, I knew it.

_**"What do you want, asshole?" **_I yelled in anger, looking around. _**"Get out of there, wherever you are. I know you're here! Don't be a coward! Come on, face me! Face me, coward!"**_

No one answered and I was scared, but I was also really mad. I was sick of this and this bully was getting on my nerves. I wasn't sure if I wanted to face W because I didn't know if I was ready; but in that moment, I really wanted to give W what he or she deserved. My phone buzzed again.

**"Not yet, Criss. Patience is a virtue, keep it. -W-" **

W was watching me, W was there listening to me and I just couldn't find that bully. I looked everywhere, even in the most remote and unusual places. But I found not even a clue.

_**"You're a coward! That's what you are!"**_ I yelled even angrier. _**"Yeah, it's easy to send threatening text messages, but it's hard to face me face to face, isn't it? You fucking coward! You're pathetic!" **_

**"Watch your words, Criss. You do not want to be rude or you could end up seriously injured. -W-" **

_**"That's pathetic! I'm not afraid of you, you idiot!" **_I yelled with a bitter laugh. I was scared the shit outta me, but I needed to seem firm and rude. W couldn't play with me this way.

**"Do you know what's funny? You're yelling at me trying to sound like a badass, but all you get is to be lousy, Criss. And you're forgetting about something... -W-"**

_**"Yes, I'm forgetting that you're just a damn weak person, you jerk."**_ I yelled again superbly.

**"No precisely. Bad your attitude in letting that bitch walk alone in the dark. No one knows what could happen to her now. Thanks for making this so easy for me; you're a generous guy after all, Criss. -W-" **

_**"Freckles."**_ I thought terrified.

She was in danger and I couldn't be there idly. No, I couldn't. I needed to find her before it was too late.

* * *

That guy really scared you. You couldn't understand how he knew a lot of you, even the most private things like who Bobby was. No one knew that, but he seemed to know it, he mentioned it and you could swear you've never seen him before, even though when he touched your arm you felt something weird. You felt as if you've felt that soft and firm hand before, it made you feel a feeling you've ever felt but you couldn't remember when. But how was it possible if you didn't even know any guy called Darren? Why was he telling you that you were friends? This was really odd and murky and you were sure this guy was stalking you.

_"I won't leave you alone, not with all the things that are happening and you don't remember. I won't let anybody hurt you." _

You remembered what he said. It seemed that this guy cared about you and you didn't understand why. Maybe this was a trick to make you fall into his trap. And now you were alone walking in the dark, even more scared. What if the guy was following you? You could barely see and your senses began to increase, mostly your sense of hearing. You could hear absolutely everything; odd sounds which were making you feel highly disturbed. You heard steps following you and you looked around frightened. You couldn't see anyone near you, but your body started trembling because you were sure your heard steps. Or maybe it was all a figment of your imagination because you were afraid of the dark. But you heard steps again, getting closer, very slowly and silently.

_**"Who's there?"**_ You yelled with trembling voice, grabbing firmly the pen.

You knew it was a stupid object of self-defense, but it was all you had and you felt more secure with it. No one answered and you didn't hear more steps. You looked around and the only thing you could see was the empty street with trees, which crowns were swaying because of the breeze, producing a scary sound. You started walking faster, to arrive home as soon as possible. But then you heard more steps and your phone buzzed, making you startle and jump in fear.

**"This is like a horror movie, isn't it? Bitches shouldn't walk alone in a dark and empty street. I have you in my sights. -W-" **

What was that? You looked around really aghast, trying to see who was there watching and following you. W. The guy mentioned W but he didn't explain you who this W was. Whatever it was, it wasn't funny. And this W thing or person must know you because this person knew your phone number, what was making this even more terrifying. This wasn't a nice prank, if it was a prank. You wished you could be with someone now, but then you remembered you had no one to be with, because Peter and Alexandra were always studying and they didn't like to walk unlike you. You still weren't sure why you were friends with them because they never liked to do something with you outside school. Your phone buzzed again.

**"Scared, big ass? You should. I'm going to destroy you, now that you're alone and helpless. Finally, I win. -W-" **

Okay, this was really scary and you couldn't see where this person was, but that person was seeing you. You started walking faster, almost running. You needed to get home where you could be safe. Steps started running while you were running too. That person was really near but you couldn't see where, and you didn't want to see it, you only wanted to get away of there. You were almost blinded; you were running and running without seeing anything around you, until you stumbled with someone, which made you fall on the floor. You covered your body with your arms and closed your eyes because you knew you probably stumbled with the person who was texting you those scary things. You didn't want to see who it was and you wished that none of this was happening. You knew this person was going to hurt you. You felt how the person kneeled next to you and your body was trembling like hell and your heart beating really fast in fear. You had no way out, you were expecting some kind of harsh action from this person, but instead the person placed the hands on your shoulders softly.

_**"I'm so sorry. Are you okay?"**_ You heard a voice asking concerned but smoothly.

You recognized the voice: it was the voice of the same guy with whom you were talking minutes before. You opened your eyes to check this and it was indeed him. You started screaming in fear because this person obviously wanted to hurt you. You screamed with all your might, to get some kind of help and the boy looked at you nervous and disrupted.

_**"Hey, no, no! Chill out, don't scream!"**_ The boy said still disrupted and not knowing what to do, but you kept screaming.

_**"Leave me, leave me!"**_ You screamed in fear, trying to move away but you hit against the floor very hard and your body was aching.

_**"Freckles, don't scream! They're watching us, we need to be quiet."**_ The boy whispered also in fear, looking around.

_**"No, get out of here! You want to hurt me, leave me!"**_ You screamed with trembling voice and teary eyes. Obviously the guy didn't want you to scream because he didn't want anyone to save you.

_**"I don't want to hurt you, Freckles. I'm trying to protect you because they want you alone to attack you. You must believe me, please."**_ The boy said looking at you distressed.

_**"No, I won't fall into your trap!"**_ You shouted scared while your heart was beating even faster.

_**"What I can do to make you trust me? Because I'll do whatever it takes."**_ The boy asked desperate, still looking deeply into your eyes.

_**"Just leave me! Leave me alone!" **_

_**"No, I won't do it. If I leave you alone, they're gonna hurt you and I won't allow it. Once I promised I wouldn't let nothing and nobody hurt you and I'm keeping my word. I care about you way too much to let this happen and stay idly. Once I did it and I won't do it again."**_ The boy said anguished and apparently guilty. Somehow you felt more relaxed, but you were still thinking he was the one who wanted to hurt you. _**"I promised to stand by you, whatever it'll come to happen and that's what I'm gonna do, even if you don't remember me."**_

_**"Why do you want to hurt me? What have I done? Why are you sending me those text messages? Why are you following me?"**_ You asked really disturbed, shaking.

_**"Have you received texts messages from W?"**_ The boy asked and now he seemed to be worried. You only nodded.

The boy looked down and you took advantage to kick him on his stomach. The boy, of course, wrapped his arms around his stomach in pain and you took advantage to stand up and start running away from him. You ran really fast until you felt how harsh hands took you by your arms harshly and pulled you against a dark corner. Those weren't the same hands than the firm and soft ones from the curly boy. A flashback popped into your mind: _Huge and rough arms holding you, arms were throttling you, wicked laughs._ You remembered it but it seemed to be an imaginary and bad thing. You couldn't see because the person who cornered you covered your eyes and now the person started punching you in the stomach. It was painful. You heard shouts from the curly boy but you couldn't answer because of the pain.

_**"Freckles! Freckles, where are you? Please, come back! Freckles!"**_ The boy was yelling desperate.

The person who was punching you injected something in your arm and you felt how a liquid began to run through your veins. Then you started feeling tired, really tired. Now the person uncovered your eyes but you were seeing everything blurry, you could barely hear and you could barely keep your eyes open. But you focused your sight on the person who punched you. It was a guy and you recognized him, but you weren't sure if it was that person or not, because it was blurry and because it was impossible. You knew him, you knew that person. It was Peter, your friend.

_**"Why, Peter?"**_ You asked with the little breath that remained to you.

_**"Why? Because you ruined my life and I'm vindictive. You have no idea how many people want to destroy you, bitch."**_ Peter answered in a whisper and in a really malicious way.

A tear streamed down your face before you couldn't see anything at all. Your own friend betrayed you and you didn't know why. You couldn't see anything, but you could still hear and feel things, you didn't know for how long. You didn't know what he injected to you, but you were very tired. You felt how those harsh hands picked you up and left you on the ground, some branches were scraping your face. You heard steps coming closer, you heard voices yelling, and you heard their dispute.

_**"Freckles? What the fuck have you done to her, you asshole?"**_ You heard the voice of the curly guy yelling.

_**"Stay the fuck out, Criss! This is none of your business!"**_ You heard Peter yelling.

_**"Guess what? It is my business because she is my friend and I won't let an asshole like you hurt her! Get out of here before I punch you!" **_

_**"How adorable! The stupid guy is in love with the girl with big ass."**_ Peter mocked in a wicked way.

_**"How funny! W happens to be a retarded. I was expecting something better than you."**_ The curly haired boy said, arrogantly and defiant.

_**"You're so screwed, Criss. Do you really think I'm W? Do you really think we're that stupid?"**_ Peter laughed bitterly and archly. _**"You should give up, you're gonna lose the game anyway. Give up now before is too late, Criss."**_

_**"Give up my ass, you dickhead!"**_

_**"Tell me Criss... Does she know that you're playing with her feelings? Does she know that you're flirting with her while you're trying to fuck another girl? Does she know the kind of shit person you are? Does she know that you think she's a geek and a loser?"**_ Peter asked malignantly.

Then you heard more shouts but you couldn't hear it clearly. You heard how they started fighting, you heard punches and painful and angry yells. You heard more wicked words, you heard more punches and finally you heard steps running away. Then you felt how someone kneeled next to you and how that someone placed his hands on your cheeks. Those were the firm and soft hands, the curly haired guy.

_**"Can you hear me? Freckles?"**_ You heard a distant voice. You couldn't answer and now you could barely hear. _**"Answer me! What the hell has he done to you? Freckles, please, stay with me, open your eyes."**_

You just couldn't. Everything was dark and now you couldn't either feel or hear anything. Your body relaxed and the weariness beat you. But after a while, you heard more voices which had no sense and coherence.

_**"I told you I want you away from my daughter!" **_

_**"And I told you I won't do it!" **_

_**"I demand an explanation! Why have you drugged her? I'ma get you locked up in jail." **_

_**"I haven't done it! If I had done it, then I'd never have called you. And I won't explain you a damn shit if you don't explain me first what's going on with her! Why doesn't she remember anything at all?"**_

_**"That's not the way to talk to an adult, so watch your manners. You're exceeding the limit, Criss." **_

_**"I don't care! I need to know! I need to know why she's like that! Listen, you don't like me and you made it clear, but I deserve to know. She's important to me, please, tell me, sir. I beg you." **_

_**"Doctors said it's temporary. And the fact I'm telling you this doesn't change anything, kid. You won't be around my daughter again. Since my daughter is with you, she only gets in troubles; you're an abomination to our family." **_

_**"I'm trying to protect her; someone is trying to hurt her, sir."**_

_**"That's ridiculous. Go home, kid. And stay away."**_

_**"I won't."**_

_**"Yes, you will. If you really care about her, you'll stay away from her. Makes us a favor; if she doesn't remember you it might be because you're not important to her, so stay away, kid."**_

Then you couldn't hear anything again. It was your father the one who was talking to the curly haired guy. So maybe the curly haired guy wasn't lying. Maybe he was your friend, but your father wanted him away from you. If your father wanted him away from you, it only could mean that the guy wasn't a good influence on you. You couldn't think anything else and the only you could do was to hallucinate. What was happening to you?

* * *

_**"Hi, Dar."**_ Jen greeted me when I met her in the entrance of school.

_**"Hi, Jenny."**_ I greeted dreary, looking down and entering the school.

_**"How are you? Any better?"**_ Jen asked following me.

_**"What do you think?"**_ I asked ironically, still looking down and serious.

Things didn't get better since the last time I saw Freckles, about six weeks ago. Yes, actually I saw her several times in school, but she was always ignoring me. She looked completely different from the Freckles I knew, this person wasn't her. It was like the time she returned to school after the fight we had with Brian and Jim, but it was worse. At least that time she was acting strong but now she was acting like those material and superficial girls. She was being the kind of girl she always hated, this was against her thoughts and I couldn't get why she was being like that. Now she was used to talk to the cheerleaders, even though she preferred to be alone most of the time. I was losing her and it was making me feel sad and grumpy all the time. I couldn't get why this was happening. And I still needed her.

_**"Listen, Dar. Her father told you that her memory loss is temporary. Soon she's gonna remember and she's gonna be the same adorable girl we both love. Just be patient, Dar." **_Jen said reassuringly but it irritated me.

_**"To be patient, Jen? It has been like two months and she's getting worse! I'm tired of being patient and I'm tired of pretending I'm fine when obviously I am not. It breaks my heart when she ignores me while I need her, Jen. It gets on my nerves the fact I can't do anything to protect her from W, and I'm worried all the time. I'm worried if something bad comes to happen to her, I wouldn't forgive myself. But again, I can't do anything. So do not ask me to be patient while I notice how everything is fading away."**_ I said annoyed and desperate.

_**"Well, you won't win anything if you keep complaining and treating your friends this way."**_ Jen said looking down and serious.

_**"I'm sorry, Jenny. I didn't mean it. I just don't know what to do."**_ I apologized when I realized the way I treated her. After all, Jen was not to blame.

_**"I know, Dar. But think about this, at least now we have a clue about W. We know that her old friend Peter has something to do, so we won't let him get close to her and I don't think he'd have the guts to do so after you gave him what he had coming. We're not so lost like before, Dar."**_ Jen said trying to be positive.

_**"Yeah, I guess."**_ I replied despondent.

_**"Come on, Dar. We need to find this out. For Freckles. We know that Peter, Brian and Jim are involved. We know Brian is involved because she punched him and she made him look like a fool so he wanted to revenge. Now we have to find out why Peter and Jim are involved to try to find out the logic of W. Maybe Jim is only involved because he's friends with Brian."**_ Jen said again trying to sound positive and encouraging me.

_**"Yes, Jenny. You're right. We'll find this out, even if Freckles doesn't recover her memory, I'll do it for her."**_ I said trying to smile.

Truth was I wanted to do this for her, but I couldn't help being sad by the thought of Freckles not recovering her memory. I needed her back in my life. Since she was away, I could barely smile and laugh. It was as though a piece was missing me and I couldn't be happy without that missing piece. I wondered why she had that effect on me, because I was happy when I wasn't friends with her; but she changed me at some point and now nothing was the same.

_**"So, let's change the subject. How things are going between you and Mandy?"**_ Jen asked with a smile on her face and I just huffed.

_**"Same as always." **_I huffed in frustration and annoyance. _**"Outside school everything is fantastic, we talk a lot, we kiss and all, we're like a couple. But she still thinks that in school we have to pretend not knowing each other because it's so soon. I honestly don't know what she wants. I think she's ashamed to be seen in public with me."**_

_**"Don't think that, Dar. Maybe she's scared. Let's not forget that she was dating Jim and Jim is an aggressive person, maybe Mandy is scared of the fact Jim could hit you if he finds out you're dating her."**_ Jen said shrugging and I looked at her frowning.

_**"Why do you defend her if you don't even like her?"**_ I asked curious.

_**"Yes, I still don't like her. But you love her and I want to see you happy; so as long as you're happy, I'm gonna be happy."**_ Jen said smiling. Well, I had a really good friend. _**"Anyway, have you talked to her about this that bothers you?"**_

_**"No, of course not. What would I tell her? 'Hey Mandy, are you ashamed of me? Why don't you want at least to hold my hand in school if you kiss me hungrily and you want to get into my pants when we are outside school?' It's stupid, Jen.****"**_ I said laughing bitterly.

_**"Well, not exactly with those words. But you should talk to her; she needs to start respecting you too. She isn't the only important person here; it's time for her to learn it."**_ Jen said making it obvious that she didn't like her and I giggled because of this. _**"It's not funny, Darren."**_

_**"I find it interesting the way you can't stand her, Jenny. She's a good person once you get to know her better, outside school of course."**_ I said smiling.

_**"Whatever you say, Darren. She's dating you not me."**_ Jen said rolling her eyes and then she looked at me. _**"I still don't like her." **_

_**"I know, I know."**_ I laughed softly. _**"Well, Jenny, see you later. I have to go to Spanish class. Wish me luck with Freckles."**_

* * *

Six weeks have passed since you had that awful encounter with this Darren guy and Peter. Your father didn't want to explain you so much about this; he told you it was better to forget it. The only thing he told you it was that one of the guys injected you a strong sedative, so that was why you were feeling tired. He also told you neither to see nor to talk to the boy called Darren, because he was dangerous or something like that. You were going to do what your father was telling you because you were sure he wanted the best for you, but deep down you knew that Darren has saved you from Peter; if it wasn't for him, you didn't want to imagine what Peter could have done to you. You still wanted to figure out why your father and Darren were saying that you used to be friends, you couldn't remember that and it was making you feel very frustrated. The first day you returned to school after the incident, it was really hard. Darren, who happened to go to your school, tried to talk to you and so did a girl who was with him, who also seemed to know you; of course, you tried to ignore them. But there were other people with whom you never talked before, who started talking to you now: a few cheerleader girls. That was pretty weird because you weren't popular to talk to them, but it made you feel good; because at least now you weren't alone since your old friends, Peter and surely also Alexandra, betrayed you, therefore you didn't have any friends. Talking to those cheerleaders helped you to avoid that Darren guy who was all the time bugging you. With time, the cheerleaders started transforming your appearance. Now you looked almost like them, only without the beauty of them. But they gave you a few tips to dress better, how to put make-up on and how to make your long hair look good. Now you were feeling at least a little bit prettier. You knew this wasn't the real you, but only this way you could have a few friends and not to be a lonely girl, one of your biggest fears. Summing up, you turned into a superficial girl.

That day the same as always happened, you entered the school, you saw Darren talking to the girl who was always with him, and you tried to sneak between them without being seen, even though you noticed that he was in the same Spanish class than you. Hopefully this time he wouldn't try to talk to you. You wanted to arrive early so you could choose your sit away from where he was used to sit, but on your way a cheerleader stopped you to show you stupid things you didn't care but you had to pretend to be excited for it. So you weren't late; you were super late and you almost had to go running to your class. When you entered, the whole class turned to look at you.

_**"Estoy decepcionado de usted, señorita."**_ The grumpy Mr. Rhodes said severely. Of course you understood all he said; no matter into what kind of person you turned now, you were still good at Spanish and you liked it.

_**"Lo siento mucho, Mr. Rhodes. **__**No volverá a suceder."**_ You spoke in Spanish, very fluent, apologizing.

_**"Muy bien. Por favor, siéntese." **_Mr. Rhodes said, telling you to sit.

You looked around to find an empty seat, and you huffed and rolled your eyes when you noticed that the only empty seat was next to this Darren guy, in the last row. Moody, you walked to that seat and you sat in silence. You glanced at Darren and you saw how he smiled faintly at you and then he turned his gaze to Mr. Rhodes, without uttering a word. Well, that was good. You tried to focus on the class, but you couldn't because this attitude of this Darren guy was weird. Not that you didn't like it, but you were getting used at him bugging you and now he was different.

_**"So what is the answer?"**_ Mr. Rhodes asked and you looked at him to find he was asking that to you.

Oh, what was he asking? Flashback. _You were in your first Spanish class and you weren't paying attention because you were admiring and looking at a beautiful boy sitting next to you, a boy you always liked in secret but who never noticed you; you were haunted by his eyes and Mr. Rhodes was asking you something and you had no idea what he was asking._ That boy, you tried to find out who that boy was but you couldn't remember.

_**"Mr. Rhodes, if you excuse me, the answer is false. What the sentence actually says is that most of the populace is engaged in business and the international exchange of industrial products, particularly products of high technology."**_ Darren answered self-confident and you looked at him amazed.

_**"Excellent, Mr. Criss."**_ Mr. Rhodes said impressed. Apparently Darren wasn't a guy who was participatory in this class. _**"Now if you dare, say the sentence in Spanish."**_

_**"Yes, sure. **__**It would be: La mayoría de la población se dedica a los negocios y al intercambio internacional de productos industrializados, en particular productos de tecnología alta."**_ Criss answered and you looked at him fixedly. His pronunciation was almost perfect, but he failed at the end.

_**"He got it wrong."**_ You finally said arrogantly. _**"He failed at the end. It's not: de tecnología alta. He confused the order of the words. The correct way would be: de alta tecnología." **_

You noticed how Darren was now looking at you, raising his eyebrows and smiling kind of amused. You acted presumptuously and you avoided his gaze. You thought that you've won this, but this guy was stubborn.

_**"The significance is the same." **_He said, not looking at the teacher but looking at you fixedly, so you looked at him kinda annoyed.

_**"It could sound as if it was the same, but it isn't. If you're in Spanish III class you should know the exact order of the words. Your answer is wrong."**_ You said arrogantly again, looking at him defiant. The whole class was in silence, looking at you two.

_**"I personally think that it actually doesn't matter the exact order of the words. The important thing about Spanish is the significance of words, because Spanish has a lot of dialects depending on the country where you are. So my answer is right. After all, everybody understood me, right?"**_ He said smiling amused and trying to win this, but you wouldn't let this happen.

_**"So yeah! Let's all of us talk like cavemen. It's the same than English. For example, if I say: products of technology high; you'll understand me, but you know it doesn't sound right because the order of words is wrong. The same happens with Spanish. Your argument isn't valid. You were wrong, admit it."**_ You said smugly, looking into his eyes and he was still smiling. It was irritating.

_**"I won't admit it because I know I'm right and I already told you my reasons. It's not my fault that you're so attached to traditional formulas instead of expanding your view considering we live in a world of cultural diversity and, therefore, with dialectical diversity."**_ He answered smiling amused and he seemed to be really entertained.

_**"Excuse me? Are you calling me uneducated and illiterate?" **_You asked getting furious.

_**"I didn't say such a thing. That was your own interpretation and conclusion; and if you thought so it could have been for a reason, don't you think?"**_ He said smiling even more amused. That stupid boy.

_**"Let me tell you something..."**_ You started saying looking at him furious and severely.

_**"Alright, guys! Even though it was an interesting exchange of opinions and I appreciate the freedom of speech in my class; this was enough. Let's continue with the class."**_ Mr. Rhodes interrupted you. _**"So if I say that..."**_

Mr. Rhodes kept talking trying to change the subject but you weren't paying attention because you were still looking at Darren in anger. You couldn't believe he made you look like a fool; you, one of the best students in this class. Darren was still looking at you amused and entertained and it was making you feel even angrier. Then Darren looked at Mr. Rhodes again and that attitude made you feel rabid. The fact of him ignoring you and your madness made you feel terrible. And then you realized it, maybe that was the way you were making him feel whenever you ignored him; but you didn't care. Now you decided to pay attention and minutes later, when you looked at your desk, there was a note.

**"You look amazing when you're passionately defending your point of view of things. If this makes you feel better; if it hadn't been because of Mr. Rhodes, you'd have won me. We should make this more often. Darren." **

You read the note in disgust and then you looked at Darren, who was paying attention to Mr. Rhodes. You waited for him to look at you, but he didn't turn his gaze to you. So you decided to answer the note.

**"You should stop bugging me and you should get on your own business. I'd appreciate if you stay away from me." **

You wrote it furious and then you tried to give the note to him but you just didn't know how. You were waiting for Mr. Rhodes to get distracted but it seemed impossible, so minutes later you saw Darren's hand extending to you. You put the note on his hand and you looked away. Not long later, the note was again on your desk.

**"If you want so... Meanwhile I'll be content to have got a response from you. Lunch together?" **

You read the note raising your eyebrow in disbelief. What part of 'Stay away from me' hasn't he understood?

**"In your dreams." **

**"I'm all the time dreaming. So lunch together, outside school. I know about a place where we can go." **

**"It's not gonna happen." **

**"Oh, too late. You answered 'In your dreams' and considering I'm a big dreamer, this time I win. You should be careful with your responses. We'll meet in the entrance at 1pm." **

**"Wait if you want. I won't go."**

**"Too bad. I had in mind to order lasagna for two." **

**"You'll have to share it with Garfield."**

**"Have you found Garfield? I want to meet him! Maybe we all could eat lasagna all together, not a bad idea. I'm excited." **

**"Idiot." **

**"Beautiful. Your words, not you." **

**"Idiot squared."**

**"Beautiful squared. Your words and you." **

**"This conversation is over."**

**"Do you copy me? Do you copy me? Over and out!" **

**"What are you?"**

**"Adorkable." **

**"Adorkable? Would you mind to elaborate?"**

**"Adorable + Dork = Adorkable. Is that clear? ;)" **

**"Bye." **

**"See you at lunch, Freckles."**

That was the last note he sent you and you didn't reply it. You should be feeling mad at him, but to be honest, you liked this conversation with him. It just seemed to be so natural. You shouldn't be feeling cheerful after this, this wasn't right. You needed to keep in mind what your father told you; you couldn't be near him. Of course, you wouldn't meet him for lunch, no way. Or, why not? Maybe this lunch could help you to recover your memory. No, it was a bad idea. You spent most of the class having a conversation with your own mind until the class finished. When you were about to stand up and leave, a guy walked to you. It was a tall and handsome man, a football player.

_**"Hi."**_ The guy greeted you with a nice smile. You noticed how Darren, next to you, looked abruptly at you two.

_**"Hello."**_ You answered politely, smiling back at him.

_**"I was wondering if you'd like to have lunch with me. To be honest, I couldn't stop looking at you today. Your smartness amazes me and I'd like to talk to you to get to know you more." **_The guy said smiling kindly and sensually.

_**"Uhm..."**_ You said a bit uncomfortable and you were sensing how Darren couldn't stop staring at you.

_**"If you don't want it's alright, I understand."**_ The guy said still smiling.

_**"Well, why not?"**_ You smiled shrugging. You couldn't believe that a handsome guy was asking you to lunch.

_**"Is that a yes?"**_ The guy asked smiling brightly and you nodded while shrugging. _**"That's amazing!"**_ The boy exclaimed excited. _**"By the way, I'm Brian."**_

_**"Nice to meet you, Brian."**_ You smiled kindly. _**"See you at lunch, then."**_

That was the last thing you said before you stood up. That was good, not only because a handsome guy asked you to lunch, but also because you wouldn't have lunch with Darren and then you would do exactly what your father told you to do. When you were leaving the classroom, you glanced at Darren. He was looking at you with eyes wide open, in disbelief and... Terrified? Why would he be looking at you that way?

* * *

Everything was going fine with Freckles this time in Spanish class. The debate we had was amazing and I really missed seeing her so passionate like this, defending what she thought was right. She looked really cute being like that and I couldn't stop smiling for it. This was the only idea that occurred to me to get her attention and to get to talk to her as I wanted since long ago. And it worked. But the most amazing thing was when we started talking through notes. At first she was rude as I was expecting, but then I noticed she still had the same sense of humor, mostly when she mentioned Garfield. I totally loved it and it made me feel really happy. I wanted to have lunch with her, and it had to be outside school so we could be quiet. I thought that by having lunch with her I could help her to remember, what I wanted the most. I didn't care what her father told me the day of the incident. Yes, he made me feel like shit when he said that if she didn't remember me it was because I wasn't important to her. Maybe he was right, or maybe not; I wouldn't know it if I didn't try to talk to her to find it out. So, not even what her father told me was going to keep me away from her. And it took me six weeks to find out the way to finally talk to her. Six damn weeks, but I got it. Yes, I still didn't know if she would meet me at the entrance to have lunch together, but I needed to have hopes. When the class finished, I was about to talk to her to remind her that she had to have lunch with me, but something stopped me. Something that scared me.

_**"Hi."**_ Brian greeted Freckles with a false smile.

_**"Hello."**_ She answered.

_**"I was wondering if you'd like to have lunch with me. To be honest, I couldn't stop looking at you today. Your smartness amazes me and I'd like to talk to you to get to know you more."**_ Brian said flirting with her.

What the hell was all that? Freckles didn't seem to recognize him and Brian already knew that she has lost her memory, so that was why he was talking to her, pretending to be interested in her in a romantic way. This couldn't be happening. I couldn't stop looking at them both intently and terrified. I was there without knowing what to do or say, I was just very disturbed. If Brian knew that Freckles lost her memory, if he knew she was ignoring me all this time, and if he was flirting with her now; it only could mean that W has changed the plans. The simple fact of thinking about it scared the crap out of me. Brian was trying to be her friend now that Freckles forgot all he has done to her. That way it would be easier for W to attack, considering that W knew that Freckles didn't trust me anymore. I was so fucked up, man. Freckles wouldn't believe me if I told her that Brian was an asshole who harassed her, who hit her and who made her feel like crap. This wasn't happening. If I was scared at this point, I got even more scared when I heard Freckles' response to the invitation.

_**"Well, why not?"**_ She smiled with that cute smile.

No, Freckles! Why? No, no, no. You shouldn't have said yes. No. She accepted and Brian pretended to be really excited. Maybe he was indeed excited, but only because his plan went as he expected. I looked at Freckles leaving the classroom and I couldn't say anything, I just looked at her in shock, kinda sad and for sure terrified. When Freckles wasn't there anymore, I looked abruptly at Brian. Now I was furious, really furious. I stood up and I walked towards him determined. He turned his gaze to me and he smiled archly.

_**"Listen to me, you asshole..."**_ I started saying in a rage. _**"Stay away from her. I know your intentions, I'm not stupid. If you dare to hurt her, you're gonna suffer. So better if you stay away from her."**_

_**"Do you think I'm scared of a faggot like you, Criss?"**_ Brian laughed archly.

_**"You should, cause I won't let you put your hands on her and I'll do whatever it takes not to let you do this."**_ I said coldly and firmly.

_**"You gotta be kidding me, Criss. Have you fallen for that nerd girl? I thought you had a better sense of taste on women."**_ Brian scoffed at me.

_**"Don't call her like that, you douchebag."**_ I said ratty, getting closer to him. _**"Stay away from her, Clerk."**_

_**"I don't feel like doing that. I think it's time for you and your stupid friend Jennifer to stay the fuck out of the scene. Admit it, Criss, you've lost this. She doesn't even remember who you are and she doesn't want to be around you, an annoying faggot."**_ Brian laughed at me just for spite.

_**"Yeah, she doesn't remember me but it doesn't change a damn shit. You're not gonna get her and I'm gonna make sure of it." **_

_**"Good luck with that. The bitch doesn't believe a shit of what you say. Someone told me the way she slapped you, the way she was trying to run away from you. What does make you think that she's not going to do it now? Only because you've been exchanging stupid notes during the class? You're pathetic, Criss." **_

_**"I'm not afraid of you, Clerk. What are you? Only a stupid boy following the rules of an idiot who isn't even brave enough to say the real name, so uses a pseudonym. Yeah, W. Pathetic, isn't it? And you're just a friggin jerk who can't see that W is using you like a puppet. I feel pity for you, Clerk."**_ I said with all my despicable way to talk.

_**"You still can't understand how things actually are, can you? I see fear in your eyes, Criss. I noticed how terrified as a baby you were when I was talking to that bitch. You should practice how to hide your weaknesses, Criss. You're an easy guy to destroy. And you have no idea how many people are involved in this. So here's a little advice for you: Get on your own business and you won't be in this anymore. You're still on time." **_

_**"It turns out that she is my business now, Clerk. And here's a little advice for you: I never let people mess on my business." **_I said smiling bitterly.

_**"Oh, Criss! A boy in love is so vulnerable; you shouldn't let it happen."**_

_**"There's a thing you're not getting, Clerk. And it's that you don't have any good feeling for someone, so you'd never understand the power of it. Do not underestimate love and do not confuse love with weakness, because you're gonna end up fucked up." **_

_**"You're a fucking twee faggot."**_

_**"Is that all you have to say? How sad, man. Let me ask you something, Clerk. What do you get with all of this? Don't you have something better to do with your miserable existence?"**_ I asked arrogantly. Geez, I hated to be like this, but he needed to understand that he couldn't mess with Freckles.

_**"You're confusing the roles. Your existence is the miserable, being in love with a big ass girl who doesn't even know your name. How sad is that?"**_ He replied even more arrogantly.

_**"Why her? Why are you messing with her and not with someone else? Is that because she's better than you all so you feel in danger? Is that because she's braver than you, a guy who tries to pretend to be rude but actually is a crybaby? Why her, Clerk?"**_ I knew that was the perfect question to make him talk, to make him tell me at least one of the reasons why W was doing this. I knew it because I saw fierceness in his eyes, because I hurt his pride.

_**"I'll tell you why, Criss. Because she's messing with things she shouldn't, so she needs to learn that she can't mess with us." **_

_**"Is that so?"**_ I laughed sarcastically. _**"Is that because she punched your face and she made you look in public as the coward and stupid guy as you are? Doing this to her because of those reasons, is only proving how helpless you're on her presence; is only proving that you're afraid of her because you know that if you don't stop her, she would be able to beat you all. This is only proving who the strong one is, the only one who's able to stand up and defend what is right by good ways unlike you who think that violence rules everything. Let me tell you something, violence is practiced only by weak people. That's it all, you're weak and you're afraid of her. So you won't stop messing with her, because you're afraid. You're afraid of a girl younger than you, because you know how smart and brave she is, unlike you."**_

_**"No, you're not getting this, Criss."**_ He said but I knew he was kinda nervous now. I shot the target.

_**"No, you're the one who isn't getting this. They're using you like crap. They don't care if something bad comes to happen to you as long as they get to be closer to their goal. You think you're rude and strong, but truth is you're a miserable and a manipulated stupid boy. I feel pity for you. Pity."**_ I said smiling almost maliciously.

And then I felt how his fit crashed on my nose. It was painful but it was nothing compared to the fact that I found out his weak spot. Now I knew he was also thinking that W was manipulating him and he wasn't feeling good with that. This could be the way from where I could start destroying W, on my very own way, not applying violence to get it. So he could hit me all the times he wanted, but it wasn't going to change my sudden good mood for having discovered something new.

_**"Yeah, go ahead and hit me again. It's only proving how weak you feel now."**_ I said defiant. _**"Stay away from her and stop making your own life miserable, Clerk. Open your eyes!" **_

_**"I won't stay away from her. Do you know what I'm gonna do with her? I'm gonna make her fall for me, I'm gonna fuck her fiercely and then I'm gonna throw her to the crap where she belongs. I'm gonna destroy her and I'm gonna enjoy how you suffer for it because you can't do anything, because she abominates you, because you mean nothing to her now, because you're an idiot who's in love with her while she only wants to see you dead. You won't be able to do anything because I'm gonna manipulate her, because she doesn't trust you. And I'm gonna make you see how I fuck her wildness until her bearded clam bleeds and until she begs me yelling to stop; then I'm gonna make you see how I force her to give me a blowjob until she chokes with my cock on her throat, and finally I'm gonna make you see how I spill my cum on her face. And after all of this, I'm gonna make you see how I pull that bitch into the crap. I'll give you an entertaining show, Criss; feel honored for that."**_ Brian said repulsively.

My whole body was trembling in anger and I really wanted to punch his face as hard as he deserved. But I didn't do it because I wasn't going to lower to his level. He was only saying all of that because he was scared, because he had nothing else to say. But hearing him talking that way about Freckles maddened me.

_**"How sad does it feel that you won't be able to fuck her like that as you'd want, Criss?"**_ Brian laughed archly and I was getting even more furious, but I needed to control myself. _**"Do not mess between her and me. If I find out that you attempt to screw this, your mommy and your Jenny are gonna pass away, Criss. Do not forget that we know all about them. Make the right decision, Criss."**_

That was the last thing he said before he turned around and left the classroom. My whole body was still trembling in anger but now also in fear. Now that he was gone I let myself be weak as I really was. I found his weak spot, but he also knew which my weak spot was and it was my mom and Jen. I didn't know how I was going to make it, but everything was so hard and everything was so fucked up. My mom was still disappointed in me and she couldn't know what was happening, so there was no way I could convince her to be more careful without her suspecting something; Jen wouldn't stop helping me and Freckles, so they would hurt her; and it was impossible even to talk to Freckles now, so I couldn't protect her because she wouldn't let me be near her because she was still thinking I was a stalker. How the fuck was I going to make it? I needed to be faster than W, but it was impossible because I didn't even know what that person actually wanted and I had no idea what the plan of this person was. I'd never be able to be faster than this person because first I needed to get more information about W. I only wanted everything to be good, only that. While I was deep in thought, my phone buzzed.

**"Interesting how your whole life can be destroyed in a matter of minutes, Criss. You don't want to get out of this? Get ready to see how all the people you love suffer because of your fault. And congratulations! I'm impressed, you were about to find out my plan; but I won't make it easy for you. -W-"**


	11. Losing control

A/N: Guys please don't hate me! Oh wow, the reviews left me thinking that maybe the bad things that are happening are excessive! I'm so sorry guys! Truth is I already have it all written and well, it's really hard to change it because everything has correlativity in the development of the story. It's just for a while! I promise, I really promise that things will soon get better! I know my way of writing it's kinda dramatic and all, but I don't like to end everything in a bad way because what I truly want to do is to leave a positive message at the end, after all the bad things that could happen! Be patient, I assure things will get better because I wrote it already because since now I won't be able to keep writing because I'm super busy, so I wanted to write several chapters so you'll have your weekly update on Saturdays! Now changing the topic and only because I love to talk, have you read the real note that Darren Criss wrote for his fans? Isn't it very cute and wonderful? :) Okay, that's all I guess! haha... I'll let you read this short very short chapter now!

* * *

**Teenage Dream – Part 11 – Losing control**

* * *

_**"Darren! Hey, Darren, wait!"**_ I heard someone yelling at me, but I didn't stop.

I was running through the hallways of school, trying to find Freckles to try to talk to her about what happened. I looked like an idiot running all around, but I didn't care. Where could she be now? I needed to find her before Brian, I knew Brian was going to try to brainwash her with lies, and I knew Freckles was going to believe him because she was harmless and she always had this amazing thing about thinking the best of people; but right now that amazing thing of Freckles wasn't a good thing.

_**"Darren! Wait!"**_ I heard how the same person yelled behind me. Again, I didn't stop.

I was trying to remember what the next class of Freckles was after Spanish, but I couldn't remember. At this moment, I hated my bad memory. Think, Darren, think. Could it be Math? No, she had Math class on Wednesdays. English. Yes, that's right, she had English class now. I ran to where the classroom of English III was, but then someone stopped me, taking me by the arm.

_**"Darren! Geez!"**_ Karen said looking at me frowning, apparently exhausted because she has been running behind me.

_**"Not now, Karen. I'm busy."**_ I said trying to go to where Freckles was, but Karen wouldn't let me go there.

_**"Darren, this is important. I need to talk to you."**_ Karen said serious.

_**"Not now, Karen!"**_ I exclaimed exasperated. _**"Maybe after school, but not now!" **_

_**"No, it's going to be now."**_ Karen said bossy and I looked at her raising my eyebrows in surprise. She wasn't a bossy person.

_**"What do you want, Karen? I'm not in mood to talk about the prom dance you're organizing. Maybe after school, I don't know." **_I said moody, looking at the direction where the classroom of English was.

_**"I don't want to talk about the prom dance, Darren."**_ Karen said again serious.

_**"Then what do you want, Karen?" **_I asked moody and exasperated, checking if Brian was near or not.

_**"I want to know who W is."**_ Karen said serious and I looked at her in shock.

_**"What?"**_ I asked kinda nervous and scared.

Why was Karen asking me that? How did she know about W? It couldn't be possible that W was now harassing her as well, Karen never meddled between us, she had nothing to do with all of this and I didn't want to her to be part of this macabre game.

_**"I said I want to know who W is."**_ Karen repeated.

_**"I know what you said, Karen!"**_ I said kinda edgy. _**"But I don't know why you're asking me this, I don't know who W is." **_I lied. I needed to keep Karen out of the scene because I didn't want W to hurt her as well.

_**"Are you sure, Darren?" **_She asked suspiciously, of course noticing that I was lying. Why couldn't I be good at lying sometimes?

_**"Yes, sure. I don't know what you're talking about."**_ I shrugged, pretending to be indifferent and confused.

_**"Then why is your name on this note I received?"**_ Karen asked with a paper in her hands. Fuck, W has already threatened her and I never noticed this.

_**"What? Let me see it."**_ I said edgy trying to grab the note, but Karen hid it behind her. _**"Hey, let me read it."**_

_**"Not before you tell me what do you know about W and what do you have to do with this."**_ Karen said looking at me kinda severely. _**"And do not lie to me again." **_

_**"I don't know who W is, Karen!"**_ I exclaimed exasperated but frankly, because that was the truth: I had no idea who this W was.

_**"Is that all you have to tell me?" **_Karen asked looking at me fixedly and I just nodded. _**"Well, let me read this note for you."**_ Karen said coldly, opening the note to read it. _**"Would you like to see how the prom dance that you're organizing fails? I'll make it suck if you don't tell your friend Darren Criss to stop fooling around that bitch nerd girl. And you wouldn't like to be remembered as the girl who ruined a party to become a loser, would you? Remember this could ruin your chance to go to college. Stop your friend Darren soon, or you'll be destroyed. -W-"**_ Karen finished reading and then she looked up to me very serious and kinda annoyed. _**"Would you now explain me what's going on?"**_

_**"I...Karen, I don't know what's going on."**_ I said looking down, frankly. _**"I really don't know who W is; all I know is that this person is harassing me and Jen. I don't know why. I'm sorry this person involved you too, I'm really sorry."**_

_**"It's easy, Darren. Stop being with that new friend of you, she's only causing troubles and she's not worth it. Darren, that girl is only a damn geek with no friends, stay away from her. If she hasn't got any friends, it's for a reason; you should stop being so nice to everybody. After all, why are you friends with her? She's a creep and you know it."**_ Karen said frowning.

I looked at her upset but at the same time I needed to understand her. Anyway, I didn't like the way she was talking about Freckles, she had no idea how amazing Freckles actually was and I couldn't help feeling angry whenever someone talked about her in a derogatory way. Karen was being very rude and selfish. Yes, selfish because she only cared about her and her goals and she didn't care when I told her that W was also harassing me and Jen.

_**"Don't talk about her that way, Karen. You don't know her, so don't talk about her as if you knew her, because you have no idea."**_ I said annoyed and kinda coldly and she looked at me in disgust. Maybe I sounded rude.

_**"I can't believe this, Darren. Are you changing one of your real friends for a geek? Can't you see it? She's blinded you. I don't even recognize you, Darren."**_ Karen said coldly. Oh man, those words hurt, it made me remind of what my mom told me when I had that dispute with Freckles' father.

_**"I'm not changing anything, Karen! I can perfectly be friends with you two without any problem."**_ I said still feeling bad for Karen's words.

_**"The girl doesn't even remember you, Darren! What is your problem?" **_Karen yelled exasperated and I looked at her curiously and frowning.

_**"How do you know that?"**_ I asked suspiciously and Karen looked at me in disbelief.

_**"What? The whole school knows about that, Darren. Everybody started suspecting why the geek was now talking to the cheerleaders and why she has changed the way she is; so the truth was revealed!"**_ Karen said frowning and upset.

_**"Who has told you the truth? And what exactly have they told you?"**_ I asked again intrigued. I needed to know how the whole school knew about this.

_**"I don't know, Darren. I heard it, everybody is talking about it. That the geek has lost her memory and all... I don't know."**_ Karen said annoyed.

_**"From who have you heard it?"**_ I asked over again, insistent.

_**"A boy, I think he was her friend before. Why are you so interested in knowing this? Not that you didn't know this."**_ Karen huffed.

_**"Because, as I told you, they are harassing me and Jen, Karen. I don't know if you heard me when I said that."**_ I said upset and coldly.

I don't know why I was so upset; I guess I was tired of people being selfish and not really listening to me when I was talking about serious stuff. Suddenly I felt in the same way Freckles told me how she felt whenever she was feeling bad and didn't have anyone to talk to, when she told me it all when we went for the very first time to Marin Headlands. It was an awful feeling and like her, I couldn't understand why people sometimes were like that. Maybe I was like that too and I wasn't noticing it, maybe I was also a selfish one who couldn't listen to people whenever they were feeling bad because I was so focused only on my own problems. I didn't want to be like that. I needed to calm down, maybe Karen was being like that only because she was scared and it was understandable.

_**"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to be rude."**_ I apologized feeling guilty and bad for my reaction. _**"Listen, Karen. I know she doesn't remember me but her father told me that her memory loss is temporary. And this W person wants to hurt her and I won't let it happen, because I care about her. She's my friend now, like it or not, Karen; so I'll be there for her whether she remembers me or not. And I'll do the same for all my friends, so I won't let that this W hurts you too, Karen." **_

_**"Well, guess what, Darren? W is gonna hurt me if you don't stop fooling around that girl. You have to make a choice, Darren. Either it's that geek girl you met this year or it's me, your friend since years. You can't have it all; life is about making choices and it's hard, but it's like that. Who are you going to choose?"**_ Karen asked looking at me fixedly.

_**"I can't make any choice, Karen. Both of you are important to me. I'll stay for the two of you." **_I answered feeling anguished. I couldn't believe Karen was asking me to do that after I admitted that Freckles was my real friend.

_**"Seriously, Darren? Well, you're a good friend."**_ Karen said sarcastically and I looked at her hurt. _**"You're choosing her instead me. Unbelievable!" **_

_**"I didn't say that. I said I'm gonna be there for the two of you, I'm not choosing anyone."**_ I said frowning.

_**"You're in love with that geek girl, aren't you?"**_ Karen asked coldly and almost archly. Why was she being like that? She was a nice person; I didn't know why she was acting like this.

_**"No, I'm not."**_ I replied almost in a whisper, looking away.

_**"So why are you doing this, Darren? Why are you risking all you have for that girl? Why are you disappointing your friends for that girl? Why, Darren?"**_ She asked in disbelief.

_**"I'm sorry, Karen. I never wanted to disappoint you. And I'm risking all I have because this is what I'd do for any of the people I love."**_ I said feeling sad for her mean words.

_**"Well, then I guess I'm not one of the people you love. The only thing I need is you to stop fooling around her because of this menace I received, but you won't do it. You won't do it because now you say that the geek girl is important to you. Yes, she's important to you and apparently I mean nothing to you. I really thought you were my friend, Darren." **_Karen said coldly.

_**"You're not getting this, Karen. You are also important to me and I'm your friend. I just can't choose between you and her, because you're human beings, you aren't objects." **_

_**"So, you're still gonna be with her, aren't you?"**_ Karen asked and I nodded. _**"So it doesn't matter if this stupid W is going to hurt me because of that, because you're gonna be around her no matter what. You won't change your mind, will you?"**_

_**"No. I'm sorry."**_ I said looking down and feeling sad.

_**"Good to know."**_ Karen said bitterly. _**"You hurt me, Darren. We've been friends for years and now you're losing a friendship because of a girl who doesn't remember you and whose existence is miserable because she's only a damn geek who isn't worth it."**_

_**"Do not talk about her like that, Karen."**_ I said now coldly and getting upset again. _**"And it's not my fault that you're so selfish that you don't care about how I'm feeling about this, because all you care is about that stupid prom! There are things more important than a prom, Karen! It's time for you to know that. It's not my fault that you're acting like a child, making me choose between you and her, knowing that you two are important to me. That's selfish, you know? And for the record, you hurt me too, Karen."**_ I said exploding, saying out loud all I was feeling since a long time.

_**"Screw you, Darren. One day you'll realize that you've lost everything for a stupid girl and when you realize this, it'll be late. It's time for you to know that you're making a stupid decision. But whatever, I'm done with you."**_ Karen said coldly and she didn't let me say anything because she turned around and left.

I saw her walking away but I did nothing, because at that point I didn't know what to do; I just thought that the best would be to talk to her when she could be more relaxed and not this scared because of the note W sent her. Anyway, she also really hurt my feelings, she was thinking this was easy for me and truth was nothing was easy, but for now I was thinking this was the best I could do. I wouldn't let Freckles alone and I also didn't want to lose Karen's friendship; but what could I do? I wouldn't give up, that was for sure. I was going to help Karen and I had to be careful, just in case W attempted to hurt her because I wouldn't stop talking to Freckles; because even though Karen didn't want to talk to me now, she was still a friend to me. And there was a thing that left me thinking: Why was everybody thinking I was in love with Freckles? They could think something like that about me and Jen because we were together all the time and we had a very close friendship. But Freckles? Maybe it was rumored that I was in love with her, just as Freckles' health condition was rumored. Maybe it was another lie from W, who managed to spread it. Whatever, they could think whatever they wanted, I knew what my true feelings for Freckles were, and it was only love of friends. Summing up, I was feeling troubled, distressed and upset, really upset. I couldn't remember the last time I was so upset and moody. I wasn't in mood to talk to anybody and I wasn't in mood to deal with another trouble. I just wanted this shitty day to end.

_**"Hi, Darren. Skipping your class?"**_ A sweet voice said behind me.

I turned around to see Mandy smiling at me, but I didn't smile back. As I said, I wasn't in mood to talk to anybody, not even her. Actually, I particularly didn't want to talk to Mandy. I was still kinda upset about the way she acted with me the last two months, pretending not to know me at school. What was she thinking? Yes, she could be the hottest girl in school and I was lucky to have had the chance to meet her. Yes, I was a dork and awkward guy and I wasn't popular as she was. But I did have feelings and her behavior with me was hurting me. I wasn't a toy boy. I didn't know what she was thinking she was, but she couldn't just play with me and use me whenever she wanted. Jen was right; she needed to respect me too.

_**"Yes."**_ I answered moody, looking away.

_**"I think someone is having a bad day today. Maybe I could change your mood."**_ Mandy smiled and she held my hand. I quickly moved my hand away.

_**"What are you doing?"**_ I asked looking at her coldly and frowning.

_**"I'm only holding your hand. Why? I didn't know I wasn't allowed to hold your hand."**_ Mandy said looking at me confused.

_**"Yeah, right!"**_ I exclaimed bitterly. _**"How nice, you holding my hand when there's no one around! How nice, after I had to stand your stupid decision of pretending that you don't know me at all at school. Yeah, hold my hand now that no one is looking, I'll feel better for sure."**_ I said completely sarcastically.

Yes, I knew I was being very rude and nasty, and I knew this wasn't me; I didn't like to be like this. But I couldn't avoid the fury I was feeling about everything. I didn't know what was happening to me, it was as if I had no filter, I was just saying all the things that popped in my mind without being careful of my words. I was exploding because I was sick of everything. I knew I was crossing the line.

_**"It's not like that, Darren."**_ Mandy said with chocked voice, looking at me with sad eyes.

_**"Do not tell me it's not like that because I'm not a fool!"**_ I yelled upset. The last thing I needed was to be treated like an idiot.

_**"I don't think you're a fool. Can we talk about this?"**_ Mandy said sadly.

_**"Yes, we can talk. I'm tired of you, Mandy. I'm tired of you playing with my feelings, I'm tired of doing always what you want like a damn puppet, I'm tired of being treated like a toy, I'm tired of your lack of concern for what I feel. It's only you, you and you, same old story. And let me clear you something, the fact that you happen to be the hottest girl in school doesn't mean at all that you can do whatever you want whenever you want. If you want that, find another guy with who you can play, but not me. I'm out of this shit and lie." **_I yelled very out of control.

_**"I'm sorry; I never wanted to make you feel like that."**_ Mandy said weeping.

_**"Oh no, do not cry those fake tears. I don't believe it; you can fool somebody else with your crying but not me."**_ I said coldly. Holy shit, I was acting like an asshole but I couldn't help it. Mandy didn't say anything; she only covered her face and kept crying. _**"What do you want from me? Why are you with me if you feel ashamed of me, eh?"**_

_**"I don't feel ashamed of you. I'm scared."**_ She said still crying and covering her face.

_**"What are you afraid? Oh sure, you're afraid of what people might say if they see you with me. Yeah, how could a girl like you be with an idiot like me?"**_ I said sarcastically.

_**"You don't understand. It was really hard for me to be where I am now. I don't want to suffer it over again; I don't want to be a lonely girl again." **_She said weeping and I looked at her disappointed and in disbelief.

_**"I see, for you is more important to be popular than keeping by your side someone who really cares about you. Then I'm not your type, you should look for a guy who cares more about being popular than giving you love; but do not look for me again because I don't give a shit about being popular, I have different values than yours."**_ I said bitterly. _**"I would have given everything to you; I'd have done everything for you, Mandy; and you just lost it."**_

_**"I only want you."**_ Mandy said finally looking at me with teary eyes.

_**"Stop lying."**_ I said frowning and avoiding her gaze.

_**"I'm not lying, Darren."**_ Mandy said, holding my hand again. This time I let her do that, she was calming me. _**"I'm scared, yes. But I want you; I need you to say you're going to help me not to be scared anymore. I need to know that you're going to be with me even if I'm not popular anymore, even if I turn into an un-pretty girl. I need you to make me feel sure that you won't walk away, that you won't use me only to get into my pants as Jim has done. That's what I'm afraid of. Sometimes it's hard for me to believe that someone can love me for who I am and not for how I look like." **_

Wow, man. It made me feel super bad. I treated her like crap and she didn't deserve it. I was an asshole; I couldn't believe I said all of those rude things. She was just afraid of being used only for sex as her stupid ex-boyfriend has done. How could I take back my rude words now? I pulled her into a tight hug, caressing her hair smoothly to reassure her, who was still crying.

_**"I'm sorry, Mandy, I was a real ass. I'm not trying to get into your pants; I want you because of the way you are when we're alone."**_ I whispered in her ear while we were still hugging. Oh, she smelled so good. _**"I think we should stay away for a while, just until you decide what you really want."**_

_**"No, please, no."**_ Mandy begged with choked voice, now breaking the hug to look at me. Yeah, it was hard for me because I wanted her so badly, but I couldn't keep being like this because it was hurting me.

_**"You know it's the best, for both of us."**_ I said trying to avoid her gaze; otherwise she was going to convince me not to do it. _**"Don't make this harder for me. I just... I don't want to be with you for now, not like this, not while you're still unsure of being seen in public with me."**_

_**"But... Would we still see each other outside school?"**_ Mandy asked looking at me desperate.

_**"No, Mandy. I'm sorry, but I won't do it. I'm not walking away from you, but I don't want to keep doing this because I don't want to screw this." **_

_**"Yes, you're walking away from me. Whatever, I imagined no one could be perfect as you seemed to be. I was expecting to get from you a little support because you seemed to be a nice boy who really cared about me, but I was clearly wrong."**_ Mandy said now coldly, frowning and stepping back. What the hell was that? Suddenly she changed her sweet way of talking. _**"Do whatever you want, Darren. I don't need you."**_

_**"What? Mandy, wait, you didn't get this."**_ I said bewildered, frowning.

_**"Yes, I got this; I'm not a stupid girl as you think. You made it clear, now stay away from me, okay?"**_ She said looking at me angrily, and she turned around to leave and I couldn't even stop her because she was fast.

_**"Mandy, wait, please!"**_ I yelled behind her, but she ignored me until she disappeared. _**"Fuck!"**_ I yelled in annoyance once I was alone, punching one of the lockers near me.

This day wasn't going well at all. It was impossible, how could all of that have happened just in a couple of hours? Things got worse when I saw Freckles walking out of her English classroom with Brian, both very close to each other and laughing as if they were old friends. Not only that, but when she noticed I was looking at her, she looked away and ignored me, now linking her arm with Brian's. Why was she doing that? Why couldn't she realize that she was with her enemy? Why couldn't she trust me but she trusted Brian? What was I doing wrong? And then I did something I've never done before. I went to the men's restroom and I locked myself in one of the bathroom stalls. And I cried like a little boy. I cried all the anguish I was feeling, all the anger and frustration I was feeling, I cried my lack of hopes. I didn't want anyone to see me this weak, I didn't want to prove that W was indeed winning me. After a while, I tried to calm down to go to the school entrance where I told Freckles to meet. I was going to wait for her, even though I knew she wouldn't go, but I needed to be there. Then my phone buzzed.

**"This is a very good day. How does it feel to have lost a friend, a girlfriend and a geek girl only in a matter of hours? This is only the beginning, Criss. I won't stop until you get to be completely alone and miserable. Enjoy this life as long as you can. -W-"**

* * *

You went to your English class as soon as possible. You sat at the back of the classroom to think about the way the curly haired boy looked at you when you accepted Brian's invitation. Yes, he was maybe hurt or disappointed because you were going to have lunch with Brian instead him, and you had to admit that there you acted like a bitch. There was no need to accept it while the boy was in front of you; but you needed to do it to make clear that you wouldn't hang out with him because your father didn't think it was a good idea. So, it didn't matter how tentative his invitation was, you couldn't do it; even though you still wanted to know why you were friends with him before. Anyway, his look was far of being disappointed, it was more like a terrified look and for that you were still thinking about him. Why would he look at you that way?

_**"It seems that we share this class too."**_ A voice said next to you, interrupting your thoughts. It was Brian.

_**"That's good."**_ You said smiling politely.

_**"You seem to be concentrating on something. May I ask what were you thinking?"**_ Brian asked, smiling friendly.

_**"I was just... thinking about the essay we have to write about Edgar Allan Poe."**_ You lied, looking for your non finished essay.

_**"I could help you with that if you want. I finished mine days ago, I happen to love Edgar Allan Poe; his tales of mystery are awesome, particularly The Murders in the Rue Morgue."**_ Brian said looking at your poor essay. Not that you were lazy, but you just didn't have the time to finish it.

_**"Oh, no. I don't wanna bug you with this."**_ You said shyly. You were used to be one of the best in class, and it was kind of weird that someone was offering you help with school stuff.

_**"Oh, come on. You're not bugging; I'd love to help you." **_Brian said smiling nicely. _**"Do it for me, let me feel as smart as you are, although I'd never be as smart as you are."**_

_**"Is that a sneer?"**_ You asked looking at him suspiciously, frowning. It wouldn't be odd if this was a sneer, after all everybody was used to make fun of you.

_**"No, that was a compliment."**_ Brian said winking and smiling seductively. Now that was eerie. _**"Would you let me help you, then?"**_

_**"Yes, why not?"**_ You said shrugging and smiling.

_**"Great! What do you think if you come over to my house so I can give you a hand?"**_ Brian asked expectant.

_**"I don't think it's a good idea. We just met."**_ You said looking away now. Of course you wouldn't go to a stranger's house, no matter for what reason.

_**"That's alright, I understand."**_ Brian said apologetically. _**"We could go to the library after school, after my football practice. Is that better?" **_

_**"Yes, that's better. But you don't have to, really."**_ You said looking down, still amazed because he was trying to help you.

_**"I know, but I want to. The only thing is that you'd have to wait until I finish my football practice; and of course until I take a shower, you wouldn't want to be with a smelly guy after playing football."**_ Brian joked and you giggled softly.

_**"It could be hot, but right now, I wouldn't like it." **_You said still giggling. _**"But it's okay. Anyway, I have drama class after school. I'm not quite sure why I'm there, but I'm there."**_

_**"Drama class? I didn't know you would be the next Hollywood actress." **_Brian said smiling amused, but not mockingly. _**"So that's fair enough. I'll look for you after I finish my football practice and if I'm lucky, I'd get to see you performing something."**_

_**"It's not gonna happen. I'd tell the teacher I won't go to that class any longer. I never liked drama classes too much. Maybe I was dumb when I joined it."**_ You said shrugging.

That was right. When you noticed you were in drama class, you couldn't believe it. You were never interested in taking those classes and that just wasn't your thing. You've never performed before, so you were just going to that class to tell the teacher you wouldn't keep taking the drama class. Brian and you kept talking during the class until it was finished. Brian and you walked out of the classroom together. When you were near the door, Brian walked closer to you.

_**"So, if you give up your drama class, you could always come to see me playing football. You'd make a good cheerleader for me."**_ Brian joked seductively and you looked at him amused and amazed.

_**"Oh, I see what you did there. You want your coach to confuse me with you so I can replace you when you're tired. You cheater."**_ You answered in a joke.

_**"How would that be possible? Are you trying to say I'm a tiny guy who likes to wear make-up and skirts?"**_ Brian joked, looking at you amused and really close.

Why was he so close to you? Anyway, you couldn't help laughing out loud. And when this happened, you noticed that Darren was standing there, looking at you with a sad look. Why was he there and why was he looking at you like that? You just decided to ignore him and keep walking. You wanted to avoid any kind of eye contact with him because in your Spanish class you noticed he had big beautiful hazel eyes, which would make you get lost into his eyes.

_**"It's lunch time. You're coming with me, right?"**_ Brian asked looking at you intensely with his green eyes.

_**"Yes, sure. Just wait for me there, I need to go to the bathroom first."**_ You answered, smiling faintly.

_**"You, girls!"**_ Brian exclaimed amused. _**"Well then, I'll make sure to choose a good place for us. See you soon."**_

_**"See you soon."**_ You smiled.

You saw how Brian walked to the cafeteria while you started walking to the bathroom. However, you didn't enter the bathroom because something stopped you. Your phone buzzed and again, it was this W person. Who was this W and why was this person sending you those kinds of texts?

**"Who would imagine that a nerd bitch like you would have the chance to choose between two boys? I'm amazed, really. Are you ready to decide which heart would you break now with your decision? Do it, bitch; go and destroy somebody's heart, make one of them feel miserable. You, little slut. -W-" **

You couldn't do it. You didn't want to make them feel bad. Yes, you were going to have lunch with Brian because you couldn't do it with Darren; but you neither wanted to hurt this Darren boy. You weren't one of those people who enjoyed seeing people sad. But what could you do? You couldn't have lunch with them both, because they didn't seem to like each other. Then you came up with an idea. You walked to the school entrance to find Darren. When you got there, you saw him sitting outside, looking at nowhere in particular. He seemed to be down, very different from how sassy and cocky he seemed to be in Spanish class. Quietly, you walked towards him and you sat next to him. When you did so, he looked up at you and his sad eyes suddenly brightened. Wow, his eyes were like magical.

_**"I really thought you wouldn't come."**_ He said with a soft smile.

_**"Well, yeah, I'm here."**_ You answered nervously. You actually weren't sure why you were there.

_**"I knew you couldn't refuse the lasagna. But well, after the Spanish class and Brian... you know... and after you walked and ignored me... yeah... I wasn't so sure and... I'm glad you came, Freckles." **_Darren rambled nervously and then he looked at you with bright eyes.

Was it because he wanted to cry? Wow, you felt really bad now. No, why would he want to cry? What was wrong with this boy? You couldn't leave him there like that; he really seemed to be glad because you went there. You couldn't understand why it felt as if he was really down and only you could make him feel better, as if you were important to him for some reason. But it was nonsense; you were making things up in your mind only because you were feeling guilty. But you needed to keep in mind that your father was more important than anyone else.

_**"Yes..."**_ You whispered looking down because you were feeling like a really bad person.

_**"So, lasagna is waiting for us. Let's go."**_ He said kindly, standing up.

You remained there, sitting and looking down, so then he took your hand. You looked up at him astonished and disturbed and you quickly moved your hand away. Of course you made him feel nervous, but you were also nervous because you felt something very, but very odd. A flashback. _You were in a place you haven't been before; it was a dark and starry night. That place was simply wonderful and you were with someone, a boy. You were sad and you were telling one of your deepest secrets to this someone. But then you felt something really nice, something you haven't felt in years; it was a kind feeling: this someone took your hand and he didn't have to say anything, just with that nice gesture he made you feel as if you weren't alone anymore_. However, you couldn't see who this boy was. Why would you remember that now? That scene almost didn't have any sense. Now besides feeling odd, you were feeling bad, really bad; as if you were sick. You stood up by yourself and looked away, feeling edgy.

_**"I'm sorry, I can't do this."**_ You said slurred and feeling really bad. You felt as if you wanted to throw up. Why? Why was this happening to you?

_**"Hey, wait."**_ Darren said placing a hand on your shoulder, but you couldn't move it away because now you were also feeling dizzy. _**"Freckles, are you alright? You look pale."**_

_**"I'm fine."**_ You lied and you did your best to pretend you were fine. _**"Just leave, I can't do this. Leave."**_

_**"No. Let me take you with the nurse."**_ Darren said worried taking you softly by the arm and you managed to look furiously at him.

_**"I said leave; I don't need your help!"**_ You yelled and that was the moment when you felt as if your body turned into jelly. _**"Oh..."**_

_**"Whoa, whoa!"**_ Darren exclaimed concerned when you almost fainted, holding you not to fall on the floor. You saw how he looked for something in his pocket while he was still holding you. _**"Here, you need to eat sugar. Surely your level of blood sugar has lowered."**_ He said sweetly, handing you a candy and you looked at him suspiciously. _**"Come on, eat it. You'll feel better." **_

Flashback. _You were in the hallway of this school, leaning against a locker, on the floor. You've just been hit by someone, you didn't know who. Your nose was bleeding, it was broken. A blurry guy walked towards you and handed you a cotton ball. You were nervous and you were feeling happy at the same time for being with this nice but blurry guy, although your nose was broken_. Why were you remembering those incoherent events? And being with this Darren guy was increasing those flashbacks. Why? Those flashbacks were only making you feel sick, dizzy and confused. You needed to be away from this guy, he was making you feel terrible.

_**"No, I don't want it. I'm fine."**_ You said abruptly getting away from him.

You shouldn't have done that abrupt movement because now you felt weak again and the boy had to hold you again not to fall, and this time you had to wrap an arm around him to maintain your balance. And that was the moment when your eyes met his and it was a weird feeling, as if you've seen those amazing eyes before. Over again, a flashback. _You were lying in a cozy bed but that wasn't your bed. You smelled a very nice scent and you were looking those same hazel eyes. You caught those eyes, which were looking at you off guard. Your eyes and those same hazel eyes were so close and so were your mouths. Then the same hazel eyes looked away nervously and disappeared_. This wasn't possible, those were exactly the same eyes; you were in that bed and you knew it was this Darren guy the one who was looking at you, who was very close to you. But why? What have happened that time? Why were you so close to him? You didn't know this Darren guy, but why were all your flashbacks about him?

_**"You'll eat this candy, Freckles."**_ Darren said kindly but also bossy, opening the envelope of the candy and still holding you.

_**"Who are you?"**_ You asked looking at him disturbed. You needed to get any kind of answer; you needed to know why he was all the time in your mind.

_**"What?"**_ Darren asked looking at you concerned. _**"Oh no, I'll take you with the nurse."**_

_**"No! I don't want to go to the fucking nursing!"**_ You yelled angrily and desperate and Darren looked at you with eyes wide open in surprise. _**"I want to know who you are!"**_

_**"I'm Darren."**_ He answered gingerly, looking at you confused.

_**"Goddammit! I know that your stupid name is Darren! I want to know who you are and why you're messing with me!" **_You yelled again, now moving away from him.

_**"I'm not trying to mess with you. Calm down, please, you aren't feeling good and this could be bad for you."**_ The boy said troubled.

_**"How many times do I have to tell you that I'm fine? And do not decide what could be good or bad for me, because you have no idea!"**_ You shouted angrily again.

_**"Freckles..."**_

_**"Do not call me Freckles, you creep!"**_ You yelled in a rage, barely controlling your words. Then you saw it, you saw that look that you knew pretty well because it was the same look you had whenever someone was telling you something really hurtful.

_**"I only want to help you."**_ He whispered with choked voice.

_**"Do you want to help me? Then stay the fuck away from me! I don't want you around me because you make me sick!"**_ You shouted coldly.

_**"You... you really need to eat this candy..." **_The boy said with choked voice, handing you the candy again and it irritated you.

_**"I don't want your stupid candy, I don't want to have lunch with you, I don't even want to talk to you. I only did this because I feel pity for you!"**_ You yelled nastily, as if you were being another person very different from what you really were. _**"I don't want to be related to you because you're only a creep and a weirdo! I want you to stop messing with me because I can't stand it, because you annoy me! I don't want to be near you because I'm ashamed of you. I want you away from me because you're the one who's making me feel sick, because I was fine before I met you. You make me feel as if I was about to throw up. You're nobody to me but a bothersome and pathetic guy!"**_

That was the last thing you said nastily before turning around to leave him there. Before you walked away from him, you saw how a tear streamed down his face while he was looking at you sorrowful, still with the candy for you in his hand. When you saw him like that, you felt a pressure in your chest, as if you knew this wasn't the right thing. It pierced your heart when you saw him breaking down. But anyway, you walked away from him. You couldn't be around him because he was the reason why you started feeling bad; your incoherent flashbacks with him were the reason why you were feeling sick. A part of you wanted to come back with him and apologize for your hideous behavior; but the other part of you wanted to be away from him. Point was... Which one of your parts was the right one? You couldn't tell. For now, you thought this was the best, even though you acted as a terrible person, even though you acted as if you were another person, even though you hurt him the same way people hurt you in your past. And that, that wasn't good. To make things worse, your phone buzzed.

**"Congratulations. You've ****officially **broken a guy's heart. Congratulations. You've destroyed a guy's soul and now the scar would** always** remain in him. Now let me welcome you to the world where heartless bitches live. -W-"


	12. Brainwashing

A/N: Hello guys! How are you doing this Saturday? Well, as for me I wanted to let you know that I'm good! I read all of your reviews and I must say...wow! Thank you a lot for those! I don't know, I guess I like the fact of knowing that you like this story, despite all the dramatic things I write sometimes, more like too often! I like the variety of thoughts you guys have, like one review from another are very different, so that way I can know how I'm going with the development of the story! So I appreciate each one of them. And I really like when you say funny things that make laugh, or sweet things that make me feel like very touched, or when you seem to be eager to read the next chapter! I guess I can't believe that I actually make you feel things with my writing, for me that is one of the best things that someone can tell me, for several reasons; and well, it's almost impossible to believe, but it's something good for sure. Thank you a lot guys, I'll never get tired to thank you, so get used at it. Well, well, this chapter... well, I don't know how you'll take this chapter, but I hope you can enjoy it! I'll figure it out later, I guess! So just I'm gonna let you read this one now. With these words, I'm telling you...Until next Saturday! :)

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**Teenage Dream – Chapter 12 – Brainwashing**

* * *

_**"Finally you're here! I was thinking that maybe you got lost!"**_ Brian exclaimed when you finally arrived to the cafeteria.

_**"I'm sorry; something didn't allow me to come here earlier." **_You answered monotonically.

You sat on the table where Brian was waiting for you, already with your lunch. You didn't know how you were going to manage to pretend everything was fine after you saw Darren so very downhearted because of your fault and after you received that harsh text message from W. You were like a big damn mess and anything was helping, it seemed you were doing everything wrong.

_**"May I ask you what happened?"**_ Brian asked curious, but not in a recriminatory way.

_**"Girls stuff..."**_ You lied but you sounded honest. Wow, now you were an expert on lying. What was wrong with you?

_**"Got it."**_ Brian said understanding and he smiled sympathetically. _**"It explains your sudden change of mood. That's a mystery for boys, why girls can change their mood so abruptly when they're on their period, like you, girls, seem to be bipolar." **_

_**"Trust me; it's a mystery for us too. And do not be surprised if I suddenly start crying for nothing in particular, we tend to be ridiculously sensitive."**_ You tried to joke and it worked because Brian was now laughing.

_**"That's why we, boys, love and hate women at the same time. Because you're a big mystery to discover and that's amazing, but we get tired too fast when we can't get what's going on with you. It's like... Dude, am I doing something wrong?"**_ Brian said amused and you giggled because of his confession.

_**"Well, at least we don't make the routine so routinely. It'd be boring otherwise, don't you think?"**_ You said now cheering up and trying to forget all the shit that happened to you earlier.

_**"You have a point there. I'm gonna start appreciating more your backflips."**_ Brian said smiling gently.

_**"Hey, dude. How are you doing?"**_ A boy interrupted your conversation. You recognized him.

_**"Hey there, Jim."**_ Brian greeted and suddenly he stopped smiled. Well, you thought they were friends; after all they were in the same football team. _**"Hi, Dean."**_ Brian greeted the tall, blonde and skinny boy who was next to Jim.

_**"Hello, Brian."**_ Dean greeted looking at you and Brian very intently.

_**"Do you mind if we sit over here?"**_ Jim asked and you noticed how Brian huffed before shaking his head.

Then Jim sat on the table next to Brian and Dean sat next to you. Well, now this wasn't so comfortable and it was even more uncomfortable when Jim started staring at you in a weird way.

_**"Hey dude, is this the girl you've talked me about?"**_ Jim asked Brian.

_**"Yeah."**_ Brian answered curtly.

_**"It's very nice to meet you, gurl." **_Jim said looking at you with a cocky smile. There was something about him you didn't like, but anyway you smiled trying to be polite. _**"Brian told us that you were in drama class, that's great. Dean, the boy who's next to you, also goes to that class."**_

_**"Really?"**_ You asked trying to be interested in the conversation. _**"That's good to know."**_ You said smiling at Dean but he didn't smile back. Wow, that guy was just so cold. _**"Anyway, I'm gonna tell the teacher I won't take those classes any longer."**_ You said shrugging and munching your sandwich.

_**"Why not?"**_ Dean asked with eyes wide open. Why was that guy looking at you as if he was terrified about knowing that?

_**"Theatre is not my thing."**_ You answered shrugging pretending to be indifferent but now you were intrigued to know why Dean looked at you that way.

_**"No, you must keep going. You're the best in the class." **_Dean said supplicant. What? That had to be a sort of a joke. You've never been in a drama class and you didn't even know what it was about.

_**"Dean, I thought you said that the Darren Criss guy was the best one."**_ Jim said frowning and apparently confused and you choked with your food.

_**"Is that Darren guy in that class too?"**_ You asked with eyes wide open because of your surprise.

_**"Yes, you and he are the best ones. We need the both of you for the final show."**_ Dean said supplicant again and apparently worried.

_**"Well, I'm sorry. But now that you told me that the Darren guy is in that class too, I'm more than sure to stop going to that drama class."**_ You said moody, taking a sip of your soda.

_**"Why?"**_ Jim asked curious and frowning.

_**"Because the guy is a creep." **_You answered curtly and coldly, looking away.

_**"Brian, I think we should tell her..."**_ Jim said with a tone of conspiracy.

_**"Yeah, whatever..."**_ Brian said indifferent and bad tempered, looking away.

_**"Tell me what?"**_ You asked intrigued and suspiciously.

_**"Well, your father told us that you have memory loss, so we thought that maybe you could have forgotten all that has been happening lately... Something really serious, but we weren't sure if you remembered that or not; and apparently you don't remember. Anyway, we didn't want to push you to remember this terrible thing..."**_ Jim started saying almost in a whisper, as if what he was saying was a secret. _**"Maybe it's not time yet for you to remember, but this is something hideous and you need to know just in case something bad comes to happen..." **_

_**"Alright, get straight to the point."**_ You demanded bossily and impatiently and all of the guys on the table looked at you in surprise.

_**"You've been receiving rough text messages from W, haven't you?"**_ Jim asked looking at you intently.

_**"Yes, who is that W person?"**_ You asked eagerly, trying to get any kind of answer.

_**"We still don't know, but we have our suspicions."**_ Jim said thoughtful and you were now very intrigued to know why Jim was talking about W if you were talking about Darren seconds ago. _**"What we know is that W is a terrible person who wants to hurt you, we don't know why. Point is W has been threatening you since a long time ago and things were getting worse with time. We also started receiving harassing text messages from this W person, only because we were helping you. But screw W, we weren't going to leave you alone on this." **_

_**"I don't get it. Why would someone want to hurt us?"**_ You asked confused and disturbed.

_**"Because, sadly, there are mean people."**_ Jim said looking down sadly and you nodded in agreement. _**"Point is we think that this Darren Criss guy is W."**_

_**"How come?"**_ You asked frowning and not believing him fully.

_**"Because the guy never noticed you until one particular day..."**_ Jim said as a mystery.

_**"The day you started going to the drama class."**_ Dean said.

_**"Exactly. And since that day you started receiving those text messages. Dean and I came to the conclusion that Darren Criss is W because he was jealous of you. You see, Darren was the best one in the drama class until you arrived and you changed it. Now you're the favorite one and Criss is an ambitious and selfish guy and he couldn't stand it."**_ Jim said self-confident and Dean nodded, while Brian was just looking away in silence and very serious.

_**"That cannot be possible. I mean, the guy is a creep but once he helped me when I was in danger."**_ You said frowning and confused.

_**"Do you mean that time when Peter, your old friend, took you?"**_ Jim asked and you looked at him amazed. How would he know that? Anyway, you nodded. _**"Well, that's the way he acts. He's a perverse guy. He pretended to be your friend all this time and he has this ability to distort reality. What Peter has done to you was a plan of Criss. They were allies. Do you know why? Because**__** all this time**_ Criss tried to make you think that he was a good guy who cared about you, only to then attack you. You know what people say, keep your friends close but your enemies closer."

_**"I can't believe it..."**_ You whispered disturbed. This all was too much information.

_**"Well, yes. That's because you're a good person and you can't understand why people gotta be so mean sometimes."**_ Jim said smiling sadly. _**"Why do you think that Criss is bugging you all the time? Why do you think that he's nice to you all the time? And the worst is that he's a good actor, so you'd never believe that he can be a cruel person. Surely he already told you that he cared about you, that you were important to him; surely he also pretended to be crying and all that."**_

_**"The Criss show."**_ Dean said in disgust.

_**"Oh my God..."**_ You exclaimed in disbelief because that was what actually happened.

_**"Yes, it's terrible." **_Jim said shaking his head in disgust. _**"Point is, when we realized what was happening, we planned something to win him. If he wanted to play that way, then we also needed to play like that. Keep us close, but keep Criss closer. So, days before your accident and before your memory loss, we planned that you were going to pretend to be his friend. That way we'd be able to figure out what he wanted. That's why everybody was surely telling you that you and Criss used to be friends, because that's what we planned." **_

_**"And that's why we were worried when you said you wouldn't keep going to drama class. You must keep going and you must pretend you're his friend so then we'll get more information about Darren's plans." **_Dean said and Jim nodded in agreement.

_**"I see. Yes, that's a good plan. But it's too late, I already screwed it."**_ You said now feeling guilty.

_**"What do you mean?"**_ Jim asked frowning.

_**"I treated him like shit before coming here. I hardly think he'd want to keep talking to me now."**_ You answered looking down.

_**"That's not a problem at all. Use your charm to convince him you're sorry. He'd forgive you, I'm sure."**_ Jim said encouragingly.

_**"After all, you're a good actress as well."**_ Dean said also encouragingly. _**"Tell him that you'd do whatever it takes if he only forgives you, he'd fall."**_

_**"Yes, I guess it could work. I should give it a try."**_ You said shrugging.

_**"That's the attitude!"**_ Jim said smiling proudly and you smiled flattered. _**"But remember, you must tell us everything that is happening. We don't want you to end up hurt because of that asshole. Deal?"**_

_**"Yes, deal."**_ You nodded in agreement, feeling brave for the first time. You knew you could do this, somehow you were feeling self-confident.

You kept talking for a long and they encouraged you to do this, so you were feeling really self-confident now. They gave you some advises, telling you what you could say to Darren to get his forgiveness and they warned more things about him and his macabre game. This Darren Criss guy wouldn't hurt you, you were going to do whatever it takes not to let this happen; and Jim, Dean and Brian were going to help you. They were true friends, they really cared about you; and with them you didn't have those awful flashbacks, which were making you feel sick. That was going well. When the lunch time finished, Jim and Dean said goodbye and now you were alone with Brian, who remained silent all the lunch time.

_**"I can't believe what this Criss guy is doing. It's so perverse."**_ You finally said thoughtful and frowning in disbelief.

_**"Well, do not take this to heart. Do not forget that all of this is only a suspicion. We're not really sure if Darren is W."**_ Brian whispered serious, very different from when you were with him alone before Jim and Dean arrived. _**"If you're a wise girl, you won't tell Jim and Dean everything that is happening. Yes, maybe they want to help you, but they're sure that Darren is the asshole, so they'd do whatever to hurt him in revenge for the harassing text messages. To be honest, I don't think Criss is W. And you wouldn't want to hurt an innocent person, would you?"**_

_**"No, I wouldn't want it."**_ You said frowning and confused, because maybe Brian was right. He made you see another point of view. _**"So then, what's your advice for me?"**_

_**"I don't know. Maybe you should pretend to be his friend, but you shouldn't tell anyone what's happening if you aren't sure if he's the real bully. Maybe you could find out that Darren actually cares about you, that he isn't pretending it. Or maybe not; I have no idea."**_ Brian said shrugging.

_**"I don't know what to do, Brian. I don't know if I'm going to be able to keep this as a secret. I need someone to tell everything that is happening, I don't know if I can do it alone. And I'm scared."**_ You said anguished.

_**"Don't be scared. You're a good person and I won't let anything bad happen to you."**_ Brian whispered, smiling kindly. Why was he whispering? _**"Listen, you can count on me for this. I could help you, in our own way. Do not listen to Jim and Dean. I'll help you to figure out if Darren is W or not. For now, I think he isn't. He doesn't seem to be a bad person, and this W person is someone perverse."**_

_**"But do not forget that Darren is a good actor, as Jim and Dean said."**_ You reminded him.

_**"Yes, that's right. But I'm gonna tell you something that Jim and Dean haven't told you."**_ Brian whispered looking at you intensely. _**"Once you told me that Darren Criss was also receiving those text messages because he was helping you, not only him but also his friend called Jennifer. Once you told me that this Darren Criss was the only guy who helped you when someone was hitting you, while nobody else has done it for you, not even Jim, not even Dean... Not even me."**_ Brian whispered sadly and you took his hand to make him feel that it was okay, that he shouldn't feel bad about it. _**"You know, I think that this Darren Criss is your true friend. But it's only my opinion and please, do not tell anybody I told you this, because they'd think I'm on Darren's team, and it's not like that. I don't like him, even if I think he's a good influence on you." **_Brian whispered kinda worried.

_**"You can trust me. I won't tell anybody."**_ You said smiling gently. _**"Thank you, Brian, for being honest with me and for making me see that not always everything is what it seems, while the others only tried to make me see what they thought."**_

_**"Yes, the last thing you said is so wise. Remember it always."**_ Brian whispered and smiled. You saw honesty in his eyes, you knew he was the only one on whom you could trust for now.

* * *

_**"Dar, she's only confused, that's why she said all that. Soon she's gonna remember everything."**_ Jen said rubbing my back.

_**"Yeah..."**_ I sighed looking down, feeling very downhearted. _**"Stop saying that, Jen. I'm tired of **__** always **_hearing the same old story, that soon she's gonna get better and all. I don't want to hear those words of compassion."

_**"I know, Dar. But hey, don't feel down because of what she said, she's only scared."**_ Jen said reassuringly, still rubbing my back.

_**"Jen, she told me I make her sick. She told me she's ashamed of me, that she feels pity for me; that I mean nothing to her and she said I'm a bothersome and pathetic guy for her. How do you expect me not to feel down if she...she...she means..."**_ I started babbling because the lump in my throat wouldn't allow me to keep talking.

_**"Hey, hey, calm down."**_ Jen said sweetly hugging me when I was about to cry, again. _**"I know she's important to you and her words were rough. But give her time; she needs to settle down what's happening. Picture it; she's here, not understanding what's going on because for her everything is different from what she remembered. Do not let this make you feel crestfallen because maybe that's what W wants."**_

_**"I'm sick of W. I don't care about it, I only want Freckles to be with me as she used to be because...she... I need... she changed my..."**_ I stammered, feeling troubled with my own feelings for her and with what was happening.

_**"Don't talk like that, Dar. If you really love her, no matter in which way you love her, you'll be strong for her. She needs you, even if she is now saying those terrible things, we don't have to leave her alone because you know they're going to hurt her."**_ Jen said smoothly.

_**"I know, Jen. But sometimes it's hard. I guess soon it's gonna end, I don't know."**_ I said frustrated, looking away.

_**"Hey there, guys!"**_ Someone greeted cheerfully.

_**"Hey, Dean. How are you?"**_ Jen greeted politely smiling to one of our friends and I greeted him only with a slight smile. Let's say I wasn't in a good mood.

_**"I'm pretty excited about today. We're gonna practice our final show. I'm sure you're gonna be the main character, Darren."**_ Dean said excited and I smiled faintly because I couldn't be excited right now, even though I really wanted to practice our final show.

We were in the drama classroom, waiting for our teacher to arrive and tell us what the final show would be about. I was waiting for this day to come since a long time because acting was one of my favorite things to do, so this was very important to me; but somehow now it didn't seem important, now I didn't care about it. I understood there were more important things, like Freckles in this case. If Teddy would choose me as the main character of the play, I wasn't sure if I would be able to do it. Lately, I couldn't focus on school stuff and that was bad. Jen and Dean kept talking about the play and I just stood up to walk away from them because I honestly wanted to be alone. I sat on the farthest seat to think about Freckles and the words she told me. I haven't even realized that our teacher already arrived and was talking to the class.

_**"Darren, would you mind to join the class? I have important announcements to say."**_ Teddy said gently. I was always amazed by the way he treated his students as if we were his friends.

_**"Yes, sorry, Teddy."**_ I apologized, standing up to walk near where the whole class was sitting, looking down.

When I was walking I decided to look up and I saw Freckles there, sitting in silence next to Dean. She was looking at me fixedly, but she wasn't smiling as usual. Anyway, my heart skipped a beat when I saw her; I wasn't expecting her to come to this class after her memory loss. I needed to stop looking at her because all of her rough words popped in my mind again. So I finally sat near where the whole class was, but anyway I was far from everybody.

_**"I know you all are excited to know what the final show is going to be about and I know you're excited to know who the main characters are gonna be. But this year, we're gonna do something different."**_ Teddy said mysteriously, but I really didn't mind. I heard how the whole class babbled in excitement.

_**"Are we gonna perform Batman?"**_ Dean asked excited. I giggled softly because I knew he wanted to perform Batman since we started coming to this class but Teddy never agreed.

_**"No, not Batman, Dean."**_ Teddy answered frowning in disbelief and I saw how Dean huffed in frustration. _**"This year, we're gonna write our own story. And it's gonna be a collection of short and different stories which are gonna be connected at the end. This way, all of you are going to be the main characters."**_ Teddy said excited and the whole class cheered in excitement. Well, this was very different and it was a good idea because no one was going to be excluded. _**"The only condition is that I'm gonna pair you. I'll pair a boy and a girl and you'll have to write your story together. At the end, we're gonna see what the stories are about and then all together we're gonna write the final, when all the stories are connected. So, what do you think?"**_

_**"It's an awesome idea, Teddy!"**_ Jen exclaimed excited and the whole class agreed. I didn't say anything at all; I only smiled faintly.

_**"Good, good! Well, I'm gonna start pairing you."**_ Teddy said looking for a paper. _**"Grace with Toby. Linda with Hugo. Jen with Dean. Tania with Jackson. Melissa with Jack. Holly with Zach. Emma with Oliver. And... Darren with the new girl."**_ Teddy said excited. Yes, I didn't know why I was so sure he was going to pair us. I looked at Freckles who was looking down and then I looked away. _**"Alright guys, go each one of you with your new partner you'll have until the end of the year. We have a lot of work to do! Let's get started!"**_ Teddy exclaimed ablaze and smiling brightly and everybody started walking to go right where their partners were.

Neither Freckles nor I moved from where we were. I knew she didn't want to be with me and I didn't want to walk to her as always to be treated like shit. So I just stayed where I was, looking down, without saying anything at all. Teddy would surely ask me why the hell I wasn't with my partner, and then I'd be forced to explain him that I didn't want to make this with her because of personal reasons. And I was going to do this only for her, because she was the one who didn't want to see me; because if it was up to me, I'd be with her all excited and happy already planning what to do together. Then I felt how someone stood behind me. So now was surely the time that Teddy would ask me such a thing.

_**"Can I sit here?"**_ I heard a very nice voice, which made my heart skip a beat. For sure, it wasn't Teddy.

_**"Yes, you can."**_ I shrugged trying to pretend I was indifferent but truth was I wanted to hug her tight.

Freckles smiled faintly and sat next to me in silence while I tried to avoid her gaze. It was an uncomfortable situation in which none of us wanted to talk first. Everybody was already talking excited about what they could do, but we were in silence. Well, I was the first to start talking.

_**"I'll tell Teddy that we won't do this together, so don't worry. You won't have to be near me."**_ I said curtly, standing up, decided to do this for her. But then she took my hand, she took my hand and I felt how everything that was around me vanished; she took my hand and I felt a pressure in my heart, and I felt mild and meek.

_**"No, wait. I think we can do this; after all, I'm with the best in the class. Anyway, it's just writing a story, not big deal."**_ Freckles said shrugging and indifferent.

Well then, for a moment I thought she took my hand and stopped me to say sorry or something. I thought that maybe she would tell me that she really wanted to do this with me because she was sorry for her words after she had a little time to think about it. But no, I was wrong. She said she could do this only because she was thinking I was the best in the class, as if she was interested and as if she wanted to use me to get her own benefit; at least she sounded like that.

_**"You're the best in the class. I'm sure you'll be able to do it by yourself as a monologue and you'll do it amazing. You don't need me at all."**_ I said looking away and looking for Teddy, still letting her hold my hand because, although I felt bad for her answer, I liked the fact that she was holding my hand.

_**"But the condition was..." **_

_**"It doesn't matter; I could make Teddy change his mind."**_ I said trying to avoid her gaze, I just couldn't look at her in the eyes otherwise I was going to stay with her and I knew it wasn't the best for now.

_**"Oh, come on."**_ She said kinda annoyed and tugged my hand. _**"Sit over here, we're gonna do this because this is about the final show and I want it to be more than amazing. We have to write a stupid story, nothing else. And I already have some ideas."**_

_**"Alright."**_ I said sitting next to her but still looking away. _**"Tell me what your idea is about."**_

_**"Well, I was thinking that maybe we could write about a surreal story, a metaphorical one but with a hint of realism with the macabre. I was thinking that maybe it could about this girl who sees a guy's soul living in her apartment, and the soul cannot rest in peace because he has some unfinished business to do. I don't know why I thought about The Canterville Ghost by Oscar Wilde. I still don't know how the story could develop, but it's an idea."**_ Freckles said kind of excited and I just looked at her intently without uttering a word and without telling her my opinion. _**"What about you? Do you have some ideas or not?" **_

_**"Yes, actually yes. I have an idea."**_ I said frowning and thoughtful. _**"I do not agree about writing a surreal story. I think we should write a very realistic one, I think this is our chance to show everybody what we think, like an opportunity to make them see the everyday problems that sometimes people have to suffer. I think we should write a story with a message, a really good message; because this is the best way people can get how people feel sometimes, maybe this way we can touch people's hearts." **_

_**"Well, that's the opposite of what I thought. But well, I don't know, maybe it could be a good idea. Have you thought what the story could be about?"**_ She asked me curiously and frowning because she knew we wouldn't agree on this story. But this was my chance to tell her how I felt when she treated me in that rough way.

_**"Yes, I thought about something." **_I started saying still thoughtful and now looking at her straight into her eyes. _**"I've been thinking about this story since a long time, like sometimes I like to write stuff. We can take it or not, then you tell me." **_

_**"Fine, I'm listening."**_ She said crossing her legs and propping her head up with her hand, looking intensely into my eyes. She looked adorable, but I needed to focus on the alleged story I've been thinking since a long time ago.

_**"The story starts with a high school girl who has a normal life, just one of those girls who are very smart but so shy. Well then, the girl doesn't have many friends because she is very introverted and because her extreme intelligence isn't appreciated by many people; but she is a damn hell of amazing person. It is sad, because people can't see that because they are all the time judging the girl. And sometimes people can be rude, selfish and jealous; so the bullying starts to happen. People start bullying the girl and they hurt her on so many ways, because that's what bullying produces: it's not only about the physical abuse; it's also about the emotional and psychological abuse. They manage to make her feel alone and hopeless. They manage to make her think that she isn't worth it, they manage to hurt her to a point that she thinks nothing could be good in her life because nobody cares about her."**_ I said looking at her very intently, actually telling her own story. She was listening to me and she was frowning; maybe she noticed I was talking about her, or maybe not; I didn't know. _**"But that isn't true. There is this boy who really cares about her, because the girl shows him the way she truly is. It takes a long time for the girl to trust on the boy, because she is used to being treated like shit; but after a while, the girl trusts on him and he feels really happy. The girl just has this power to make him feel happy, the girl changes the boy's life and they become good friends. The boy is amazed with this girl and he cannot understand why people can hate her if she is one of the most good-hearted girls. So the boy sets a goal: he would make her feel that she isn't alone because she has him now and he wouldn't let that anything bad comes to happen to her. So the bullying starts getting worse: both of them are being harassed and this is getting very serious. They try to bring the boy and the girl down, but the boy and the girl don't fall apart because they have something that the bullies don't have, and they know that this something is the weapon to finish with the bullying thing. And it is love and real friendship. And love is the strongest thing someone can have, love can defeat everything; love is what gives us the strength to go against every tough thing, even when things seem impossible. This is why the boy and the girl never give up hope, because they have each other now and that is all they need. Love against all the material and superficial things in life, something that the bullies can't understand."**_ I said smiling faintly and looking away, lost in my thoughts, remembering that time when she and I were happy together despite all the shit that was happening. _**"But sometimes things don't go as expected. The girl has an accident and she and the boy are forced to walk away for different reasons. The boy tries his best to keep her in his life, because once the boy isn't allowed to see her again, he realizes that she is the best that happened in his life, that now he can't live without her; because he needs her because he loves her. But after the accident, the girl isn't the same person and the boy sees how she walks away and he feels desperate because he can't do anything to stop it. The amazing friendship they used to have is now dying away. The boy doesn't want to give up until one day she breaks his heart, making him feel terrible. The most important person to the boy is now telling him that she doesn't want to see him again because he is making her feel sick. And the boy never had the chance to let her know how much he loves her and he regrets not to have showed this to her when he still had the chance. But now it is late, because the girl said that the only thing that could make her feel good was if the boy was away from her; and the only thing the boy wants is to see her happy; it is the only thing that matters to him."**_ I said looking down in a gloomy way. I never thought that saying this could make me feel this distressed. _**"The girl breaks his heart and the boy loses his hopes; but he needs to be strong for her because he knows that it doesn't matter the kind of person the girl is after the accident; he knows that she is still the same awesome person he has met and she would always be this awesome person, no matter what." **_I finished telling the story, still looking down.

_**"But... How does the story finish?"**_ Freckles asked and I finally looked up at her. She had teary eyes and it made me feel bad, seeing her sad.

_**"I don't know. I haven't written it yet, I still don't want to finish it."**_ I said with choked voice and looking away, trying my best not to shed those stupid tears I wanted to shed.

_**"I think the girl needs to get back with the boy. I mean, the boy really loves her in a way that not so many people can love someone. The girl is a stupid, how could she break his heart after he was the one who made her feel she wasn't alone? She's stupid."**_ Freckles said kinda disgusted and upset.

_**"No, she isn't stupid."**_ I said shaking my head and she looked at me frowning. _**"She had an accident, it wasn't her fault she was feeling confused and the boy understood this. It's just that it was hard for the guy to see her like that; that was what broke his heart. She isn't stupid; she's the bravest and most warm-hearted girl." **_

_**"But this story cannot end like that. What kind of message do you want to give? That all the good things in life would be gone sooner or later for different reasons?"**_ She asked in disbelief.

_**"No, not at all. Tell me, how would you end this story?"**_ I asked looking at her deeply into her eyes, expectant to know her answer. Obviously, she didn't realize this story was about her and me.

_**"The girl stops being confused because she realizes how much this boy loves her, because she realizes that something is missing her, something that isn't allowing her to be completely happy. The message must be that no matter how many bad things can come to happen to you and no matter how hard and impossible it seems to improve things; because if there's love, things will work naturally and love is all that human beings need to be happy, simple as that. I think that the girl must realize that the boy is always there even when she thought she was alone; because the message must be that sometimes we can feel completely alone but it's because we're blinded, because there's always someone but it's just that we sometimes can't see it. I think that the girl must admit the mistakes she has made and apologize for that; because the message must be that we learn from mistakes, that we don't have to stuck regretting what we've done, we need to apologize and admit all the bad things we've done because that's the way we can grow and keep going, always learning new things. I do think that the girl should get back with the boy; because the message must be that it's never too late to fight for that thing that once we wanted or loved, that we shouldn't let anything stop us from doing that what our heart wants; because I'm sure the girl also loves the guy, but she's confused because other things are stopping her from doing what her heart wants. They were meant to be together since the beginning and it doesn't matter how many bad things could happen in between, they would be together as they always thought; because you said it, love can defeat everything even when things seem impossible. I do think they need to be friends again. That would be the end for me; the end of the story but not the end for them."**_ Freckles said fervently and I just looked at her with teary eyes because I was touched by her wonderful words. That was the Freckles I knew; I knew she was still that awesome person I met. If only she knew that the story was about us...

_**"I wish I could write it. I wish that could be the end of the story but not the end for them. Trust me; I'd be really happy to be able to write that good end for the boy and the girl."**_ I said with choked voice, trying to control my feelings.

_**"So why don't you just write that end?" **_Freckles asked confused, frowning.

_**"Because sometimes, the end of a story doesn't end as the writer would like; sometimes the end also depends on the readers. As a writer, I'd really love to end this story that way, but I depend on one person who will decide which the real end is gonna be; this goes beyond me and my wishes."**_ I said now shedding a tear but quickly wiping it away; looking deeply at Freckles, the one who was going to decide what the end for us would be; because if it was up only to me, I'd have written this end long time ago.

_**"Oh..."**_ Freckles suddenly said looking down nervously. _**"This isn't a fictional story, is it? This is a true-life story, isn't it?"**_ She asked now looking at me bemused and I only nodded. _**"You're the boy, aren't you? And I'm the girl, aren't I?"**_

_**"Yeah..."**_ I answered looking intensely into her eyes and then she avoided my gaze, apparently feeling uncomfortable.

_**"I...I..."**_ She stammered and I looked down, feeling kinda sad because of her discomfort.

_**"Listen, you don't have to say anything; I shouldn't have said this. Let's forget this."**_ I said anguished, looking at my lap. _**"We... we should write your story about the soul and The Canterville Ghost or whatever."**_

_**"I'm sorry."**_ Freckles mumbled downcast.

_**"No, it's okay. Really, let's forget this."**_ I replied shaking my head and making a gesture with my hand, trying to avoid her gaze because now she seemed to be down and I wouldn't stand seeing her sad because of my fault.

_**"No, I mean... I'm sorry for the way I treated you. I... it wasn't my intention to break your heart."**_ She apologized regretted and now I couldn't help looking at her, I couldn't believe she was saying that. I didn't want her to feel guilty.

_**"I know. I know you the enough to know that you never have bad intentions."**_ I whispered meekly, smiling sadly at her. And that was the truth, I really thought so, it was just that anyway I couldn't avoid this awful feeling on my chest.

_**"I'm sorry, I'd really like to...but, you know, I can't... Geez, I'm a terrible person. I can't..."**_ Freckles spluttered unsettled, frowning and apparently displeased with herself.

_**"You can't trust me, I understand. But it doesn't make you a terrible person. Please, don't say it again because you're a really good person."**_ I said smoothly, making her look at me in the eyes. She needed to understand that she was an incredible person; she couldn't feel lowered because I knew she was feeling like this because of W's fault and that was bad. It didn't matter she didn't want to be with me, although it made me feel disheartened; I couldn't let W hurt her.

_**"How can you still be so nice to me after I treated you like crap? How?"**_ She asked looking at me in despair with eyes wide open, and apparently feeling confused.

_**"Because I know what kind of person you are, and you deserve to be treated nicely. Because, dammit, I'd never be able to be mad at you; even though this situation is breaking me."**_ I admitted looking at her deeply into her eyes and feeling this affliction on my chest. _**"I do understand you, Freckles; I know you're confused and I won't push you to be my friend again although that is what I want the most."**_ I said softening my voice and smiling sadly at her. _**"If you ask me to be away from you because that is what is going to make you happy, then I'd do it only to see you smiling again, even if I wouldn't be there with you anymore to share those smiles as before."**_ I said softly with such honesty.

Suddenly her marvelous laugh popped in my mind and I closed my eyes, only because I thought that in that way maybe I was going to be able to grasp the sound of her laughter with me. When I opened my eyes again, she was looking at me distressed and there wasn't her beautiful smile that I wanted to see.

_**"Why? Why would you want to see me happy without considering your feelings? Why would you resign what you want only because of me?"**_ She asked troubled.

_**"Because you're important to me. And because I love you. I'd do everything for you."**_ I said frankly and sweetly.

_**"No, you shouldn't..."**_ She said shaking her head and looking away.

_**"No, hey, listen."**_ I said getting closer to her and then I took her hands. I knew this was a risky thing to do considering how our relationship was now; but I needed to do it and, surprisingly, she let me do so. _**"I made this decision to see you happy, so please don't feel guilty and don't feel sad; because then, I wouldn't know what else to do to see you smiling again. This is a hard decision for me, so please, smile; please, let me know that I'm doing the right thing. Please, smile."**_ I whispered with choked voice feeling that lump in my throat, looking deeply into her eyes with teary eyes.

_**"But I want to see you smiling too."**_ She whispered afflicted.

_**"As long as you smile, I'll smile; because whenever you smile I have a reason to smile."**_ I assured with a faint but kind smile.

_**"Why can't I remember you?"**_ She suddenly asked frustrated and dismayed, moving her hands away from mine.

_**"I don't know."**_ I whispered looking down and feeling how the grief was piercing my chest. Maybe because I wasn't important to her, as her father told me.

_**"I don't know what to do! I don't know who to trust! Everything is so different now, and I don't know why, I don't know what happened to me because I can't remember and I'm disappointing everybody and I just can't stop it!" **_She exclaimed stricken and exasperated, now with teary eyes.

_**"Hey, hey! No, don't say that."**_ I said smoothly, getting closer to her and taking her hands again. It was breaking my heart to see her so troubled and distressed. _**"You aren't disappointing anyone, we understand you. Don't push yourself, sooner or later you'll remember everything, I'm sure."**_ I said trying to sound surefire, even though I couldn't be sure any longer about anything; but I knew she needed to hear those things.

_**"But it's gonna be late, because maybe now I'm pushing away all the good things once I had. Maybe when I get to remember everything, all those good things won't be there any longer."**_ She said with choked voice and afflicted.

_**"It'll never be late, you won't lose anything." **_I assured, squeezing her hands softly.

_**"Would you still be there with me when I get to remember everything despite now I'm being a bitch with you?"**_ She asked looking deeply and desperately into my eyes and I felt how my heart kinda melted. If only she knew how much I loved her no matter what…

_**"Always, Freckles. I'll always be there with you as long as you want; I'll always be there for you whenever you need me."**_ I replied with a reassuringly smile on my face, holding her hands firmly. And that was something she needed to know, I was going to stand by her because that was what I really wanted, no matter how long it was going to take to be with her again.

_**"Thank you."**_ Freckles whispered with choked voice, shedding a tear.

I was about to answer her, but then I felt how she pulled me into a hug and everything around me faded away. She was hugging me and it was such the thrill I was feeling that my body started trembling, I was now feeling mild and now I was feeling peaceful. Of course I hugged her back and I closed my eyes because I didn't know when I was going to be able to hug her again; because I wanted to grasp this feeling because this feeling was the one I needed to feel strong for her whenever I was feeling weak to keep going when things sucked. I tried to hold on to me this entire situation: the hug, her smell, her soft skin, the warmth of her body, and her heart beating against my chest. I noticed how she was shedding her tears on my shoulder and I caressed reassuringly her long and soft hair. Geez, I wanted this moment to last forever, but I wished we could be hugging each other both of us smiling and laughing instead crying. I wanted to feel that happiness I used to feel when I was with her before and then I regretted because I never appreciated those moments the enough, when I had the chance. I wished I could have told her how much I loved being with her when I had the chance; and now that I was losing her, I was regretting having been coward and not having admitted my feelings for her. Damn, I missed her like hell.

"_**You're trembling."**_ She whispered near my ear while we were still hugging, and I gulped.

_**"I...I'm just..."**_ I started babbling because I couldn't really talk, I only hugged her tighter and my heart started beating faster. _**"I miss you."**_

Then Freckles moved away softly to look into my eyes. That was an intense look, she was frowning and she seemed to be faraway, thinking about something else. Could she be remembering something? Could she have remembered me? We were really close now and she was still looking at me as if she was faraway, and when she was about to say something, I felt a buzz. Her phone has buzzed and now she looked away, breaking the eye contact to look at her phone. She checked her phone but didn't read the text message; she only put her phone away, frowning and now apparently disgusted.

_**"Freckles..." **_

_**"It's an unknown number, it must be this W. I'm tired of it, I don't know who W is."**_ She said annoyed and bewildered. So W was still harassing her despite her memory loss.

_**"Do you mind if I read it?"**_ I asked, knowing that probably she was going to curse me for being such a meddlesome.

_**"Excuse me?"**_ She asked looking at me frowning and suspiciously.

_**"I only want to know what W says. I've been... We've have been trying to find out who W is to stop this shit and... Everything could be a clue. So I was wondering if I could read that text message, but if you don't want..."**_ I started rambling nervously now. Her gaze was making me feel nervous. I shouldn't have asked such a thing.

_**"Alright, alright. Here you have my stupid phone." **_She said annoyed, but handing me her phone. Wow, I couldn't believe she was actually letting me read her text messages.

I grabbed her phone and I stared at it for a while. I wasn't sure if I should read it or not, I had no idea what W could be telling her, but when I thought about it again, I knew I needed to read it because maybe this way I was going to be able to help her. So, I just read it.

**"Congratulations, you're a really good actress. Darren Criss has fallen in the trap you've planned with your new friends. He even believed that you cared about him. The fake hug and tears? Priceless. Poor Criss, so naive. Cheers! -W-"**

A trap? Fake? What did all of that mean? I stared at the phone for a while, trying to find out what was going on; I was really confused and bewildered, but I was also hurt and upset. I was feeling like a real idiot. Was she really being like this with me only because she planned this with Brian and who knows with whom else? Was she really pretending this while I was feeling stupidly happy for having her back with me? Could I be that fool? I looked up to see her looking away; I stared at her for a while until she noticed I was looking at her. I handed her the phone in silence, looking fixedly into her eyes and now she noticed something weird was happening because she frowned suspiciously before she grabbed her phone. How could she have done this to me?

_**"What the hell is that?"**_ I asked.


	13. Ups and downs

A/N: Hi, hi, guys! How are you? This is gonna be a short text from me because I want to let you read this new chapter. I only wanted to thank you a lot for your amazing words to me, all of your reviews were simply amazing! I do really appreciate that, and it makes me smile whenever I read those, like it makes me feel good that you kinda like the story! So, I'm glad I made the decision of keep writing this story and to make it even longer than what I planned! Hope you don't get tired of this! Now, that's all. I'll let you read this new chapter and well... you will see what happens! Remember: Be patient! Hope you can enjoy it! Until next Saturday!

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**Teenage Dream – Part 13 – Ups and downs**

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You couldn't believe that now you had to be Darren's partner until the end of the year. Why did you have to be with him among all the people in the class? Anyway, it could work according to the plan you had with Jim, Dean and Brian. Well, mostly Dean and Jim, because Brian barely talked about it. It was really hard for you to do the first step. You knew that Darren wasn't going to walk to you and it was understandable after the rude way you treated him; so you had to be the one to walk to him. But once you were there, you didn't know what to say because you just forgot all the advices that Jim and Dean gave you to say to Darren to get his forgiveness. Instead following the plan you had, you decided to start talking about what you have to write; because now you weren't sure to do what Jim and Dean told you to do, considering the conversation you had with Brian. But then this Darren Criss started telling you his idea for the story you both you perform; he told you it in a way you realized he was telling you a true-story about the two of you. And what happened next was really weird. As Darren was talking about you two, you were feeling very thrilled; not only because of the way he was saying beautiful things although you treated him like shit, but because somehow he was making you feel like...loved. It came a point that you couldn't believe that Darren was W because he seemed to be a really good person and he really seemed to care about you, it didn't seem he was pretending all of this; the way he was talking, his choked voice, his teary and sad eyes, all of that seemed to be real. You couldn't do what Jim and Dean told you to do, because Darren was making you feel special. It was such your thrill that you hugged him instinctively; you didn't even know why you did it, but you felt as doing it. And when he hugged you back, at first the only you felt was how his body was trembling and how good it felt to feel the warmth of his body; but then you had like a flashback. This flashback was different from the others, this time you couldn't see any kind of image of the past situation; this time it was a feeling what you remembered. His smell; you were sure you smelled that perfume before and it was a smell that brought you a good feeling, a good memory; that smell was a smell you loved. And then it was the warmth of his body, the way he was holding you, the way that his arms were wrapped around you; you remembered that feeling of someone holding you tight and firmly, a feeling that sometime in the past made you feel safe. The only explanation could be that you were really friends with him and he was one person that in your past was helping you, was supporting you, someone who wanted you to be fine and not bad. No, this Darren guy couldn't be W. When you broke the hug to look at him and try to remember who this mysterious guy was, your phone buzzed. It was an unknown number, so you were sure it was from W. If Darren was W, then how on earth could Darren be W if he was with you at that moment? The fact of thinking about W in this thrilled moment, made you feel annoyed; you really didn't want to read that text message. But then Darren asked you if he could read the text message and at first you doubted, but considering that now you were thinking that it was impossible that Darren was W, you let him read it. Everything was good until he looked at you and asked something that made you speechless, while he gave you the phone back.

_**"What the hell is this?"**_ He asked looking at me bewildered, upset and kinda hurt.

You barely had time to read the text message before Darren asked you so, so you couldn't understand why he was looking at you that way if minutes before you saw like a happy twinkle in his eyes. But then you read the text message and you understood why Darren was actually looking at you that way. You couldn't believe this, you couldn't believe that W has seen you hugging him and talking to him, you couldn't believe that Darren read that lie and now surely he believed it. Well, it was true that you've planned something similar with Jim and Dean; but you never faked your tears, you never faked the hug, you really felt it and you completely forgot about the plan when you were with him. This was a lie from W. You instantly looked at him desperate and trying to find the words to tell him that this was a lie; but he was looking at you as if he was disappointed and you could no longer think what to say. You tried to place your hand above his, but he moved his hands away and he kept looking at you in the same way.

_**"This is not true."**_ You said gingerly and instantly you regretted because he thought you were talking about the hug and tears_**. "I mean, the hug and tears were real. What it isn't true is what W said in this text message."**_ You said nervously, playing with your own fingers.

Darren didn't say anything at all, he only looked down to look at your hands and then he looked up to you again, with the same disappointed and bewildered look. He was so silent that was making you feel nervous. Why were you feeling nervous anyway? You still couldn't remember who he was, he shouldn't be important to you, you shouldn't care about this. But somehow, you cared about this and very much. Why?

_**"You're lying. You're playing with your fingers."**_ Darren said curtly, pointing with his chin your hands and you tried to keep your hands to yourself.

_**"No, I'm not. Well, yes I have... but it's not what really...I mean..."**_ You said nervously not knowing how to say how things really were.

_**"You don't have to explain me anything. After all, you don't know who I am and you do the right thing on not trusting on people you don't know."**_ Darren said letdown, looking away.

_**"Yes, I have to explain you because..."**_ And there you stopped. You really didn't know why you had this need to explain him what happened.

_**"Because what?"**_ Darren asked harsh and annoyed; and the way he said it, kinda hurt you, so you just looked down and remained silent. _**"Listen, the fact that I told you that I was going to stand by you no matter what, doesn't mean that now you're free to fool me whenever you want. The fact that I told you that, doesn't mean that whatever you do is not gonna make me feel bad, because it does; and the fact that I'm hiding it, doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt me way too much, because it does."**_ Darren said upset but also gloomy, and you remained silent feeling guilty. _**"And do not misunderstand me; I'm not blaming you because you cannot remember me so now you're talking to people you've never talked to before, people that before you couldn't bear. But anyway I'm not saying this neither to judge them nor to judge you. The point is that if you can't remember me, that is okay; but at least I want you to be honest, is the only thing I'm asking. If you don't remember me and now you can't bear me, do not pretend that you like me, do not pretend that you care about me because then you're playing with my feelings. Do you have any idea how that hug made me feel?"**_

_**"No..."**_ You whispered looking down and not knowing how to apologize.

_**"That hug made me felt as if you still wanted to be my friend, that hug made me feel that maybe soon things will be as they were used to be, when we were fine. And I was happy, super happy for that. But then I happen to know that it was fake, that my feelings for that hug were fake because your hug was fake."**_ Darren said despondent. _**"And I swear I'm trying, I'm trying too hard not to feel bad while you ignore me because deep inside me I still have hopes, I have hopes that you'll remember everything so I'm trying to be strong for you; but when you do things like these, I don't know what to do. If you don't want to be near me, well then I do understand you and I'm gonna tell you that I'm gonna stay away from you but when you're about to fall I'm gonna be there anyway to hold you; and I'd rather it than if you make me feel fake things because I can't take it, because after all I'm a human being and I'm not perfect, I'm not that strong to take it."**_ Darren said frowning looking away. _**"And if you have new friends now, that's good. I would never forbid you to have new friends. But please, do not hurt me only because you want to have fun with them, only because you're looking the way you can make fun of me and my stupid feelings for you."**_ Darren said firmly but you could notice he was really down. _**"And yeah, I told you that I'd never forbid you to have new friends; but those friends you have now, they just aren't good people. And I'm there, all the time worried because I'm scared they can hurt you; and I'm there all the time checking on the sly if they aren't hurting you and I feel like a stalker because I shouldn't be spying you, but I can't help it. And this is sick, is totally sick and I know it. I'm worried about you and all you want is to laugh at me? Well then, laugh at me if you want, curse me if you want, slap me if you want; I'll take it all and I won't complain, and I'll still be there. But do not create false hopes in me by faking a feeling you don't feel."**_

_**"I didn't fake anything!"**_ You exclaimed with choked voice and watery eyes because his words hurt you.

_**"Stop lying to me!"**_ Darren exclaimed exasperated and irked.

_**"I'm not lying! You have to believe me."**_ You begged looking deeply into his eyes and holding one of his hands. He quickly moved his hand away, apparently feeling troubled.

_**"I wish I could, but sorry, I can't."**_ Darren said curtly but his voice trembled and he looked away, tensing his jaw.

_**"You said you knew what kind of person I truly was, so you should know that I'm not lying, that I'm telling you the truth."**_ You said desperate.

_**"Yes, I said it. But I'm not saying that I can't trust on you because of the way you are. I can't trust you because I know who your new friends are and I know that nothing good can come from them, I know how wicked they are, so I know that whatever your plan was, it wasn't something nice. I'm sorry."**_ Darren said still looking away and you were really disturbed. _**"And you're completely free to choose with whom you want to be friends with, so I'm not making you stop being friends with them, I'm not making you choose between them and me; but do not ask me to trust on you now that you're with them."**_

_**"Why do you say that they're wicked?" **_

_**"Why would you want me to tell you so? Anyway you wouldn't believe me; you don't believe anything of what I tell you." **_

_**"I do believe you now."**_ You said unsure, but you needed to know why he thought so. Anyway, you tried to sound as if you were sure.

_**"No, you don't."**_ Darren said looking at you now. _**"I know you, and I know you were unsure when you said it. You don't believe me and is fine. Whatever. I don't know what is fine and what I want to be fine even though I know it isn't fine. Whatever."**_

At this point you didn't know what to say. The fact of seeing him so letdown and so hopeless was making you feel terrible. And you didn't know who to trust, if him or Jim and Dean, or even Brian. Any of them was lying, but you couldn't tell who. Yes, Darren seemed to be honest with you and he made you feel in this way that you started to think that he was a good person and he couldn't be W. But on the other hand, Jim and Dean convinced you when you were in the cafeteria; their argument was coherent unlike what you felt whenever you had those flashbacks when you were with Darren. And there was also Brian, who was on Jim's side but who told you at the same time that you shouldn't believe all he was saying. Summing up, you were a huge mess. It was time to know who was telling the truth.

_**"Yes, W was right."**_ You finally said after a long silence and Darren looked up to you in surprise, with a disappointed look. _**"I've planned something with my new friends but it wasn't to make fun of you. The plan was about..."**_

_**"I don't want to know your plan. I've had enough for today."**_ Darren interrupted you harshly.

_**"No, you listen to me now. I've listened to you, now you listen to me."**_ You said bossy and Darren raised his eyebrows in surprise, but he didn't say anything, he only looked at you as if he was willing to listen to you now. _**"The plan was only to get your forgiveness because of the crappy way I treated you. You may be wondering why they wanted me to get your forgiveness."**_ You said and Darren raised his eyebrows sarcastically, as if that was more than obvious. _**"Well, it was because they thought that being friends with you was the best." **_

_**"Really? They told you that being friends with me would be the best thing?"**_ Darren laughed bitterly and sarcastically.

_**"Yes, exactly. It was like a strategic plan. I needed to be friends with you because this way I could get information from you, about W."**_ You assured and Darren looked at you in disbelief. You still weren't sure why you were telling him all of this if it was supposed to be a secret and you still couldn't trust on him. And maybe he was W. But in some way you felt as if you needed to tell him this, for unknown reasons. _**"So yes, the plan was to pretend I wanted to be with you again, that everything was fine and that I should lie to you only to get information."**_

_**"Are you serious?"**_ Darren looked at you even more disappointed than before and even more hurt than before. _**"So, you're admitting that you fake it all."**_

_**"No, I'm not admitting it."**_ You said firm and serious.

_**"Oh no, you have a problem. You just told me that faking it all was your plan and now you deny it? What's wrong with you? Do you think I'm that fool?"**_ Darren asked in disbelief and upset.

_**"Yes, I do have a problem and it's called memory loss; thank you for reminding me that."**_ You said coldly now and Darren looked down apparently having a mix of different feelings. _**"Yes, I did say that the plan was to fake it all, but I couldn't do it. That hug and those tears were real."**_

_**"Yeah, sure. And now you expect me to believe you."**_ Darren said ironically.

_**"No, I do not expect you to believe me as you don't expect me to believe you. Is the same, isn't it?"**_ You said harshly and Darren looked down because he knew things were like that. _**"But I do want you to listen to my version of how I really felt; I don't care if you believe me or not, that's your problem."**_ You said harshly again and now Darren looked at you frowning and in silence. _**"When I arrived to this class I had in mind to act according to the plan. Yes, I was going to pretend I wanted to be your friend again and that's what I started doing when I sit next to you and we started talking. But then you told me that story, that true-story."**_ You said softening to voice as you were remembering all the feelings you felt in that moment. _**"And I forgot about the stupid plan. I just focused on your story and I forgot about everything. I saw honesty in your eyes when you told that story that I couldn't think about anything else but that this was our story that I was trying to remember but I couldn't. You made me feel as if you really cared about me, as if you weren't trying to mess with me, as if you weren't trying to hurt me as I thought in the beginning. And your words were so wonderful that made me feel touched and thrilled; and yeah, that's the reason why I shed those tears, because I really felt it. Because you were making me feel as if I was worth it. And I hugged you because I had that need, because I needed to feel that thing that only an embrace can make you feel and that is contention. And that embrace was the realest thing I felt lately since I lost my memory. I can't explain it, I don't why I felt it; but suddenly I felt a familiar feeling, something that I knew I felt in my forgotten past but I just couldn't know when I felt it and why I felt it in my past; I just remembered that feeling."**_ You said with this anguish on your chest because you couldn't know why you felt like that and you wanted to know. _**"And I'm like this mess because I can't remember what kind of person you are, I don't know if you're a good person or not. I don't know what you want from me, I don't know if I should trust on you; but what I know is that only with you I have those incoherent flashbacks and I'm still trying to find out why I feel all of that only with you and not with somebody else. I'm trying but I can't and it makes me feel as if I should stay away from everything."**_ You said sadly and frustrated while Darren was looking at you intently, listening to you without interrupting you at all. _**"And you told me you don't know what to do, but put yourself in my shoes. If you don't know what to do, imagine me. I lost my memory! Do you really think I know what I'm doing? Not at all. I'm confused, I'm unsure, I'm full of doubts and I'm bumbling all the time, trying to figure out what the right thing to do is. I'm blindfolded, walking to an uncertain place. And it's maddening and scary. But I have no options, what else can I do if it's not up to me? If you know the answer, please let me know because I'm dumb."**_ You said with choked voice and teary eyes again because this was as if everything was hopeless, as if you wanted to change things but you couldn't do it.

Now Darren was looking at you with sad eyes, as if what you said was making him feel guilty, but that wasn't your intention. You only had that need to tell him how you were feeling.

_**"I wish I could have that answer."**_ Darren finally said quietly and you just looked down, trying to focus your mind in another thing not to think how frustrating this was. _**"You'll have to trust on someone because you can't shut yourself up, is bad for you after how far you've come. If you want to be with them, alright, do it. That's not my decision and I can't say anything more than I already said. And just so you know, I do wish I could trust on you now and I wish you could trust on me. But that's not gonna happen any soon, at least not until you remember everything."**_ Darren said firmly but not harshly, he said it kind of sad. _**"So... if what worries you is that I'm not gonna be there for you whenever you need someone; don't worry because I'll be there, I promise you I'll be there. But do not fool with me, because I'm not a boy toy, because it hurts me and nobody likes to be hurt and then I won't be sure if I could be there. I want to tell you so many things, but I do not want to freak you out. But I want to warn you, you should be careful; please be careful with them because they aren't nice as they seem to be, please."**_ Darren said concerned and exasperated and you looked at him frowning, disconcerted.

_**"Why do you say it?"**_ You asked intrigued and suspiciously.

_**"I can't tell you because you'll think I'm crazy. But they aren't good people and they may want to hurt you, they did it in the past."**_ He answered and you looked at him in disbelief.

_**"That's ridiculous."**_ You said moody but you were still disturbed and frightened._** "They've been nice to me, especially Brian."**_

_**"Brian is not a good person. We do think he is one of the people who are helping W. You need to be very careful with him, and I wish you could stop talking to him because he's gonna hurt you, but I can't push you and, you see, that's the infuriating thing of all of this. So please, be careful."**_ Darren begged desperate and you looked at him now mad. You knew Brian couldn't be a bad person; he was the only one who told you that maybe Darren was a good friend for you. Why would Darren then be talking bad about him?

_**"How can you think that Brian is W? It has no sense. What about you being W, huh?"**_ You asked mad and coldly.

_**"What the fuck is that?"**_ Darren asked in disbelief and perturbed with eyes wide open in surprise. _**"You really don't think I'm W, do you? We've been through this already."**_

_**"Oh, so I've suspected of you in the past. Surely I had my reasons to think so." **_You said coldly again while he was looking at you puzzled.

_**"Yes, you've suspected of me in the past; but then we cleared everything up. We agreed that..."**_

_**"Sorry? We agreed? Oh please, it only means that you brainwashed me. You tried to convince me that..."**_

_**"Stop it."**_ Darren interrupted you harshly. _**"I can't believe this. Do you really think I'm that kind of guy who's around brainwashing people?"**_

_**"I do not know what kind of guy you are."**_ You said coldly and looking at him in suspicion.

_**"Well, let me tell you something. I'm not gonna go through this again. I won't let you to compare me with those assholes who are trying to hurt you, I won't let you think that I'm the one who is harassing you while I'm here like a major idiot trying to help you."**_ He said really furious and you couldn't stop looking at him in suspicion. _**"Why am I doing this? Why do I let you to treat me like crap while I'm still here like a fool worrying all the time for you? Goddammit, how can you think such a thing about me after all I'm doing for you?"**_

_**"I never asked you to do something for me."**_ You said harshly and he looked deeply into your eyes for a while in silence.

_**"That's the only thing with sense you've said today."**_ Darren said also coldly. He was furious, very different than earlier. _**"Yes, you've never asked me to do something for you; but here I am like a jerk always trying to see you smiling and to see that you're doing fine. And unlike those assholes you call friends now, I really care about you and I'm doing all I can for you without expecting anything in return, because I don't give a shit if I get something in return or not. I'm doing this because I'm your friend or at least that is what I thought I was. But don't worry; I'm nobody here but a creep for you. Oh no, don't you worry; you can do whatever you want with me, you can tell me whatever you want, you can break me into million pieces and I'll always find the way to stick those pieces again to be there for you whenever you need someone. But who cares? That means nothing to you, because for you I'm only an asshole who is harassing you. Yeah, yeah. Do not worry, I don't feel anything at all."**_ Darren said sarcastically and loudly, so now the whole class was looking at you. _**"What are you seeing?"**_ Darren asked yelling, irked looking at all the people who were now looking at you both. _**"We're only practicing our possible story, so mind your own business."**_ Darren said looking at them all serious and you just didn't know what to say. But it worked, because now no one was looking at you except Teddy. _**"Because this is very similar to that, isn't it? A big damn show in which you're the main character, acting all the time; and I'm just this spectator who is watching the show, believing everything that is happening on the show; because that is what actors do, their goal is to make the spectator believe that the imaginary world is real; because that is what you're doing, isn't it?" **_

_**"I'm not acting, this is my life, you dickhead."**_ You answered coldly and narrowing your lips in anger.

_**"Am I a dickhead now? Unbelievable! Hey, the only guy who cares about you is a dickhead now!"**_ Darren said very loudly ironically and the whole class looked at you both again in surprise.

_**"Yes, you're a damn dickhead. And what does make you think that you're the only guy here, Criss? Do you really think that you are that important? You're only this pathetic weirdo with whom nobody wants to be around, that's you. And for the record, I don't need you because you're just a bothersome who doesn't have anything more important to do than messing around with others because cannot stand his own life, because his life is so miserable that needs to screw other people's life. You're nasty, Criss." **_You said loudly with the anger that was taking over your body.

Of course, everybody heard that. People around were looking at you astonished and speechless, no one was brave to meddle into your dispute. At this point, everybody knew that this had nothing to do with the story you had to write because you mentioned Darren's last name. Teddy, on the other corner of the classroom, was also astonished and he was kinda edgy; of course he thought that something like this would never happen in his class. Darren was now looking at you with that blankly expression; he was looking at you as if your words really pierced his heart. And you knew it, because your words were really harsh and cruel; but you couldn't help it, your words only came out from your mouth and you didn't think about them before talking. This wasn't you and that made you feel terrible.

_**"Is that so? Fine, go ahead and screw your own life, you stupid girl. And do not dare to look for me when you realize that your life is completely ruined, because I won't be there. I'm out of this shit and I'm done with you." **_Darren yelled with trembling voice in anger, but also with a hint of woe and affliction.

_**"I never wanted you in my life, you douchebag."**_ You said loudly and nastily.

_**"Alright you two, stop this."**_ Teddy finally said authoritatively.

_**"Why would we stop? We're practicing. Isn't this stupid class to practice our stupid story we have to write?"**_ Darren yelled irked and the class looked at him very perplexed because apparently he wasn't the kind of person who treated people this way.

_**"Criss, go to the principal's office now."**_ Teddy said firmly.

_**"Oh no, you gotta be fucking kidding me man. I do get the detention while this stupid girl in front of me is messing around. Come on, who else wants to fuck me up? Come on, shoot. Come on, this is your chance. Let's we all fuck Darren!"**_ Darren yelled, standing up very furious and raising up his arms. He was out of himself.

Everybody looked at him agape, with a disturbed expression. You were only looking at him in indignation. Things got worse when Brian suddenly entered the classroom. Darren looked at his direction and walked to him with all his rage. And Brian was there like bewildered, because evidently he didn't know what was going on. You quickly stood up to run to Brian because you knew that Darren with his rage could do something bad and you wouldn't allow him to hurt Brian.

_**"What are you doing here, asshole?"**_ Darren yelled angrily still walking to Brian.

_**"What?"**_ Brian asked bewildered and stepping back when he noticed how mad Darren was.

_**"Stop fucking around! I'm sick of you; I'm sick of you and your lies! Why don't you just disappear?" **_Darren yelled angrily again, now very close to Brian. Then you reached them and you stood between them both.

_**"Get out of here, Criss."**_ You said coldly, protecting Brian and Brian grabbed your arm softly to make you stop, but you wouldn't let things like that. _**"You should disappear, Criss. This place would be better without you."**_ You said calamitously and rudely. You noticed how Darren changed his facial expression and now he seemed to be troubled and stricken.

_**"Calm down."**_ Brian whispered smoothly in your hear.

_**"I don't know what you told her, I don't know what you made her think, Clerk... But if you dare to hurt her, I swear on my life that I'm gonna destroy you." **_Darren said with trembling voice and pointing at Brian threateningly. But he didn't sound so mean, he sounded concerned and distressed.

_**"I don't know what you're talking about, Criss..."**_ Brian said nervously. Why would he answer that nervously?

_**"Oh yeah, you know exactly what I'm talking about. It can be that she has lost her memory, but I didn't, I remember absolutely everything of what has happened; and both of us know what I'm talking about. Do not hurt her."**_ Darren said this time with choked voice but trying to sound firm and determined.

_**"That's completely ridiculous. I won't hurt her."**_ Brian said bewildered and still nervous.

_**"You better, Clerk. You better."**_ Darren said with choked voice and he glanced at you sadly before he left the classroom.

_**"What was that?"**_ Brian asked looking into your eyes disturbed.

_**"Long story."**_ You huffed annoyed. _**"Can we please leave this place?"**_

* * *

_**"I knew I could find you here."**_ Jen said behind me.

I was alone in a park near school, swinging softly on a swing, very thoughtful. Yes, Jen knew I used to come here when I was having a bad day in school. I didn't answer her, so she started swinging on the swing next to me. That was one of the things I loved about Jen: she knew how to respect me when I didn't feel like talking, but at the same time she was there in silence like telling me she would listen to me whenever I wanted to talk. I started swinging faster, still thinking about Freckles and all she told me. It was as if swinging faster was going to help me to let out all the anguish I was feeling. Jen, next to me, started swinging on the swing faster too. Everything started popping in my mind while I was swinging fast and feeling the breeze on my face: The first time I met Freckles when we were in Spanish class and she was looking at me with her beautiful eyes; the first time I dared to talk to her when that asshole Brian punched her face; the first time I saw her outstanding performance in drama class; the time when I visited her in hospital and she talked to me with her eyes making me feel this weird thing; the time when we went to Marin Headlands, when she talked me about her past and her feelings, when we were there just staring the starts, when we tumbled from the hill to the beach; the first time she slept in my house and she met my family; I remembered the first time I kissed her and I felt so good; then I remembered her last awful words and how she slapped me. I heard the sound of her sweet voice, her entrancing laughter; I saw her dreamy eyes, her gorgeous lips, her scars; her adoring face smiling looking at me with those shinning eyes, just the two of us lying down in the ground. And I saw how rudely she looked at me minutes ago. And I was still swinging on the swing really fast, shedding tears now while I was picturing it all in my mind. I let this anguish I was feeling to unleash and then I stopped swinging to look down thinking how all of this could have happened. How could I have lost her?

_**"Why, Jen? Why?"**_ I finally said with choked voice.

_**"Because sometimes good things hurt, but it doesn't make them less good. Because when it hurts it means you really care about something. And we only get to enjoy those good things after we go through pain, that's when it's worth it; and if you really care you'll face this pain, with time things will flow naturally and will get better, only with time." **_Jen whispered looking at me.

_**"I wish I could go back in time, Jenny." **_

_**"Never ever say it. Things happen for a reason, find out which that reason is and fight for it and do never regret for the things you do; remember that those things make you stronger, that everybody learns from their mistakes. This is the wonderful fact of life, we're always learning new things, we're always trying to become a better person; we're all the time stumbling and we learn how to stand up again; do not let that this wonderful fact of life becomes an awful thing. And learn how to be friends with time, times solves everything when there is nothing else to do, when you tried everything; do not make time becomes your enemy. Things, someday and somehow, will get better if you only have hopes."**_ Jen said sweetly, still looking at me. _**"I was forced to learn it when I lost my brother, so I can assure you that things will get better. Just smile for all the things you have and fight for those things you want."**_

_**"I do really appreciate your words, Jenny. It's wonderful the way you talk, but those are just words, easy to say but hard to do." **_

_**"Well, nobody said it was easy; but it's worth it trying." **_Jen said shrugging.

_**"Yes, but how do I do it? What can I do with all the things that are happening to me? Now it seems I'm only this weak crying baby boy." **_I said looking down and frowning, feeling as if there was nothing I could do and it was frustrating.

_**"Hey, no. Do not ever mistake your crying for weakness. You don't cry because you're weak, you cry because you've been strong for too long."**_ Jen said smiling softly. _**"And with respect to what is happening to you, well... it's pretty bad but not impossible to fix. Of course you'll think that everything is impossible because you're going through a crappy situation and you're being pessimistic."**_

_**"Yes, this sucks. Being pessimistic, I don't like to be like this." **_

_**"Personally, I do think that being pessimistic is good sometimes because it only means that you're not pleased with something so you'll try your best to change it, to make it better. Instead, if you're positive all the time, it only means that you're adopting a conformist attitude to events that happen, because it's too hard to change things and it's easier to give up and it's easier to mold to the mass of people. As all things in life, being extremist is a bad thing, we have to maintain a balance; so being pessimistic isn't bad sometimes."**_ Jen said softly and I looked at her amazed. I never saw this point of view, and she was right. _**"First of all, I think you should get rid of your bad emotions, you have to try to respect your feelings and don't feel upset with yourself because you're having these bad emotions. Learn to respect yourself, Dare, because nobody else is gonna do it for you. Once you do it, then you should try to find the way to fix all those things you want to get back. But remember that not always things will go as you expect, you have to keep it in mind. Barely things go as we expect, and it'd be boring if things go as we plan, it wouldn't have sense."**_ Jen said smiling softly and she was sounding so positive and pessimistic at the same time and there I found out what she tried to tell me when she said we have to maintain a balance. _**"And also remember that things will never be as same as before and you have to learn that it isn't a bad thing. Sometimes people are afraid to fix things because they think that things will never be like before as they want, and that's bad because then we live afraid all the time and we don't take risks, therefore our lives turn into a monotonous life. And do you know why things will never be as same as before?"**_

_**"Because we're gonna always remember that time when we were apart, so we'll live afraid to be apart from that person again, therefore we won't be truly happy again."**_ I said sounding very pessimistic.

_**"No, that's not the reason. Things will never be as same as before because in between we've learned something; because despite all the things which were stopping you from being fine with that person again, you found out the way to be fine again, so the bond between you is gonna be stronger."**_ Jen said positive and smiling. _**"So, I was saying, first you have to respect yourself and only then you'll be able to fix things with others. Only then you should talk to your mom to fix your situation, to talk to Mandy and Karen. And to talk to Freckles, don't give up on her, she's only a mess right now, Dare; but we both know she isn't a bad person."**_

_**"I'm not trying to give up on her, but she makes this too hard to hold on."**_ I said thinking about all the rough things Freckles told me.

_**"I know, but you have me and I'll help you to hold on. You can always count on me, Dare."**_ Jen said smiling at me friendly and sweetly.

_**"I know, Jenny, I know. Thank you."**_ I said looking at my beloved and best friend, very thankful. _**"You know, you should study psychology. Just saying."**_ I said shrugging and giggling faintly.

_**"I'll consider it."**_ Jen said smiling amused, trying to cheer me up. She was fantastic.

* * *

It was late in the evening when you returned to your house, after spending almost all the day with Brian. He helped you to finish your essay about Edgar Allan Poe as he has promised. It was still weird for you that a guy who played football and who was very popular could be this smart when it was about literature. But he not only helped you with your essay; you and he also talked about a lot of things, one of them it was about Darren and what happened in the drama class. You explained him all that was happening before he arrived, so he could understand why Darren was so rude on him. You remembered clearly the conversation you had in the library, which was almost empty.

_**"You shouldn't have been so rude on him."**_ Brian said looking at you, but he wasn't scolding you and neither was he blaming you.

_**"How do you expect me to act? I mean, I don't even know who is he and when I told him that what I felt in that moment wasn't planned and it was real, he seemed to be deaf."**_ You said annoyed and huffing.

_**"I don't think it was like that. Maybe he was just confused because of that text message; I think I'd have reacted like him in that situation."**_ Brian said shrugging and very quiet. _**"Put yourself on his shoes. The guy is worried because you cannot remember him and apparently you're important to him; you hug him and then he reads this text message saying that it all was false. Of course he'll be disturbed. But that's only my point of view."**_

_**"Are you serious, Brian?"**_ You asked in disbelief. _**"Why are you defending him anyway?"**_

_**"No, don't misunderstand me. I'm not defending him, I don't know what kind of person he is, and I barely talked to him. I'm just telling you my point of view of this situation, objectively."**_ Brian said calm while you were still annoyed.

_**"Well, Brian, he said you weren't a good person, so you just know."**_ You said raising an eyebrow.

_**"Well, maybe I'm not a good person. In the end, aren't we all foul people sometimes? Maybe we don't have the intention of being nasty people, but at the end of the day, we realize that we hurt some people on different levels for several and different reasons even though we didn't want it. Sometimes we don't notice it, sometimes it's because we're forced somehow and sometimes it's intentional. Yes, we make a lot of mistakes and for that you're considered as a bad person, but then it's up to you if you try to change it, then that is what makes you a good person." **_Brian said quietly and you looked at him intently. Well, you never expected him to say something like that. _**"I'm not gonna lie you. I've done a lot of mistakes and I know I'm not a good person. I hurt so many people in the past. But I do regret it and I'm trying to change it and I know it's not gonna happen any soon, because I'm still learning how to make it good. This Darren guy had his reasons to say I'm not a good person." **_

_**"What have you done?"**_ You asked curious because you wanted to know, after all that Darren told you.

_**"I...I don't want to talk about it."**_ Brian said now uncomfortable.

_**"Hey, I'm not gonna judge you. I've done my very own mistakes as well. Well, I'm not a good person considering the way I treated Darren and other people..." **_You said, thinking about your sister. _**"So maybe we aren't so different. I hope you know you can count on me if you want to talk about this sometime."**_ You said smiling friendly at him and grabbing his hand. When you grabbed his hand, he looked at you with this disconcerted face.

_**"Thank you. No one ever told me such a thing."**_ Brian said thankful and he, surprisingly, intertwined his fingers with yours. It seemed as if he needed someone to be this nice to him. _**"There was this girl..."**_ Brian started saying shyly and you knew he was going to tell you that you wanted to hear, so you listened to him very intently. _**"She was a weird girl, but she seemed to be a nice girl anyway. I never had any kind of trouble with her until one day I was forced to say something really nasty. I didn't want to say it, but someone forced me; this someone threatened me with my father. This someone told me if I didn't act as her enemy, this someone would screw my dad's job. It's a long story, it was really hard for my dad to get a job because he has this Parkinson's disease and no one wanted to hire him; and my mother ran away when I was eight, so my dad had to take care of me all these years by his own. I knew that my dad had been having troubles lately with his actual job; he was hanging on by a thread. So I had no options, I had to do exactly what this someone was telling me to do, and I felt terrible when I did it. I felt even worse when things started to get really bad, but I couldn't stop doing what this someone was telling me to do, I couldn't jeopardize my dad's job. But at the same time, this girl didn't deserve it, she really didn't deserve it."**_ Brian said looking down, still holding your hand.

_**"Hey, don't feel bad, it wasn't your fault. After all, family comes first."**_ You said smiling reassuringly at him.

_**"Yeah, I guess."**_ Brian said sadly still looking down and you felt bad for him. _**"The point is that now people started to think I was a badass, and that wasn't me, but I had to pretend all the time I was like that. I said terrible things to this girl, I even... I even punched her. You have no idea how much I do regret it, but... but..."**_

_**"You had no options, Brian."**_ You said softly, squeezing his hand. Yes, it was very awful what he was saying, but somehow you could understand him, he was forced, his dad's job was at risk.

_**"I know, but I was a coward. I don't spend any single day not thinking about it. I wish things could be different, you know."**_ Brian said angry with himself. _**"The point is that this Darren guy saw me doing all of that. That's why he says I'm not a good person, and he is right. Can you see why do I say that he had his reasons to have said such a thing?" **_

_**"No, he had no reasons to have said you're a bad person. He didn't know what was going on with you, so he just judged you. I personally think you aren't a bad person, you had no options and you did all of that because of your dad, so you aren't a coward. And there's always time to change things, don't feel bad because you never wanted to do this intentionally."**_ You said smiling at him friendly and he smiled back at you faintly.

_**"I know, I'm still trying to change those things, but I still can't. I depend on this someone, until this someone decides to stop this kind of game that is playing."**_ Brian said in disgust.

_**"May I ask you who this someone is and who this girl is?"**_ You asked curious, wanting to know more.

_**"Well..."**_ Brian started to say nervously. _**"Of course this someone I'm talking about is W."**_ Brian said and you looked at him with eyes wide open. So W was also bugging him. _**"You shouldn't be surprised. This W person is a really nasty person with a perverse mind."**_ Brian said when he saw your astonished face. _**"And the girl... you don't know her."**_

_**"I see..." **_You said thoughtful. _**"I can't believe that this W person is also harassing you. When is this gonna end?"**_

_**"W won't stop until this person gets to see you destroyed, really down."**_

_**"Are you trying to say that I have to be destroyed if I want things to come back to normal? I have to be destroyed, so then you'll be able to apologize with this girl, so your dad's job will be safe, so you can be yourself again. Not only you, but I have to be destroyed so also this Darren guy can be fine again, because he told me W is also harassing him and I doubt he can be W. So it's me the one who is causing all these troubles, I'm the one who can stop this, I have to be destroyed because I'm hurting so many people."**_ You said disturbed and scared when you realized how things actually were. Why you?

_**"No, oh no, no."**_ Brian said quickly, squeezing your hand to calm you. _**"This is not your fault and that isn't the solution. You should never let anyone to hurt you."**_

_**"But I'm hurting so many people."**_ You said desperate with choked voice.

_**"You're not hurting anyone, W is the one who's hurting people. Do not forget it. I don't want you to give up on this, I know you can defeat W, I believe in you. And if you can't do it alone, you have me and I'm gonna help you in my very own way; but it has to be a secret. And... well... I think this Darren guy won't leave you alone on this. Forget about all that Jim and Dean said in the cafeteria, their point of view of the situation has no sense. Do what you feel, not what you think or what people tell you to do. How do you feel about Darren?"**_ Brian asked looking deeply into your eyes.

_**"I... I don't know..."**_ You said disturbed, still thinking about how suddenly you found out how things actually were. _**"Maybe... maybe he's truly trying to help me... but... but he called me stupid and he... at the end, he was rude on me... I don't know."**_

_**"You do realize that Darren was rude on you because he was feeling down by your words, don't you? Now tell me how you felt when he told you that true-story about the two of you."**_ Brian demanded softly, looking at you fixedly.

_**"I felt as if he really cared about me, as if he really was my friend. But at the same time I feel weird when I'm with him, because I have those incoherent flashbacks that make me sick." **_You said looking down, feeling anguish on your chest because you knew you were in a dilemma.

_**"Flashbacks? Are you saying that you're starting to remember?"**_ Brian asked concerned.

_**"Yes, kind of. But it's everything very blurry and incoherent."**_ You said frowning and thoughtful.

_**"I see..."**_ Brian whispered looking down. _**"Well, it's probably that if you felt as if Darren was truly your friend, it may be like that. I don't know. Maybe... maybe you should be near him. He... it seems he cares about you, judging by the way he was worried if I could hurt you even though you treated him in a bad way."**_ Brian said still looking down and I was looking at him confused.

_**"Well, you said it. I treated him like crap several times since I lost my memory. I doubt I can be near him now, he wouldn't want to see me again."**_ You said shrugging.

_**"Oh trust me; he would like to see you again. You only have to talk to him and clear things, only if you want, of course." **_

_**"I don't see how I can get it. He seemed to be tired of me, I hurt him really bad this time, apparently."**_ You said discouraged.

_**"You could text him; you've told me that he has been sending you several text messages which you never replied. Ask him if you can meet somewhere to talk."**_ Brian said trying to cheer you up.

_**"I don't know. Maybe I could do it..."**_ You said unsure. You knew he wouldn't want to meet you, it didn't matter what Brian was saying to convince you it wasn't like that.

_**"You have nothing to lose."**_ Brian said shrugging and well, he was right. _**"But please, if you meet somewhere, don't meet in Marin Headlands. W knows about that place."**_

_**"Okay...but I don't know why you mentioned it. I've never been there."**_ You said bewildered, frowning.

_**"Yes, you've been there with him in the past and W found that place."**_ Brian said so sure that you believed him although you didn't remember that place. _**"And please, don't mention to anyone this conversation we just have had. I wasn't supposed to tell you what W forced me to do."**_

_**"Don't worry, I won't tell anyone. Thanks, for trusting me and for helping me."**_ You said smiling kindly at him and he smiled back to you.

So there you were in your bedroom, thinking if you should text Darren or not. You still weren't sure because anyway, you didn't know what you could say once you meet, if he even wanted to meet you. You couldn't get why you were feeling nervous, you shouldn't be feeling nervous; it was only to talk to him. But you had now all this pressure, knowing that you made him feel terrible, that W wanted to hurt him because of your fault, that your dad didn't want you to see him, all that Jim and Dean told you about him, what Brian told you about him... those were so many things that your mind was spinning. But Brian told you that you had nothing to lose, so you just did it.

To Darren: **I know this is gonna sound crazy and weird considering that I've been ignoring your text messages and I treated you like crap... but I was wondering if you'd like to meet me, so maybe we could talk.**

You hesitated before pressing send, but you did it. Once you sent him that text message, you checked your phone every second to see if Darren replied you, but he didn't. It had been 2 hours and he didn't reply you. Of course he wouldn't reply you; you were a fool. How could you think that he wanted to see you after all that has happened? You were resigned when your phone buzzed. It was a text message from Darren and you couldn't explain why your heart skipped a beat when you saw his name.

From Darren: **Sorry, I was busy. Yes, it's weird to get a text message from you; it's been awhile since the last time. Sure, we can talk tomorrow in school.**

To Darren: **No, not in school. I was wondering if we could meet... Now?**

You were really nervous when you texted him that, it sounded weird. You had to wait like 15 minutes to get his reply. Why would he answer you so slowly?

From Darren: **It's late.**

That was the only thing he replied and you felt really bad about it. Well, you knew that it was most likely that he didn't want to see you; but to be honest; you never expected this kind of answer, very curtly.

To Darren: **Yes, I'm sorry; I didn't want to bug you. Well, I guess I'll see you around. Have a good night. **

You replied that and then you left your phone in your nightstand. You lay down in bed and you tried to sleep, but you couldn't because you were feeling distressed. You weren't supposed to feel like this, because he was just a random guy for you, but for some reason you felt as if something was missing you, as if this was really bad. About 30 minutes later, your phone buzzed and you quickly grabbed it. Why were you so desperate to see if it was Darren?

From Darren: **Anyway, I can't sleep. What about Marin Headlands in an hour?**

To Darren: **No, not Marin Headlands.**

From Darren: **Why not? That was... like our place.**

To Darren: **Because W knows about that place and I want to talk to you, alone.**

From Darren: **Makes sense. I don't know then...**

To Darren: **Golden Gate Bridge, on the eastern side walkway.**

From Darren: **Good. See you there, then. **

To Darren:** See you there. And thank you, for giving me a second... more like a third chance.**

That was the last text message you sent and the last one you received from him. You grabbed your coat and you sneaked out your house in silence because you really didn't want your dad to find out that you were going out this late in the night. And you really didn't want your dad to find out that you were going to meet Darren. It was a cold night in San Francisco, so almost no one was walking. The Golden Gate Bridge wasn't near your house, but anyway you went there walking and it helped to clear your mind and calm down. Even though you went there walking, you arrived there in time. Darren wasn't there yet and everything around was silent, only few cars were crossing the bridge but there was not only a single person walking. When you were there you got really nervous again because you didn't know yet how you were going to apologize, you weren't sure why you were there but you knew you should be there. Then you started to feel anxious because you really wanted to talk to him, you needed to talk to him. You looked around to see if Darren was coming, but you couldn't see anyone walking near you, maybe his house was also far from there. Anyway, now you were feeling as if you really could do this, this is what you wanted to do, this is what your heart wanted and not what your mind wanted, just as Brian told you to do. You felt as if this was the right thing to do. But it had been an hour and Darren hasn't arrived. He wasn't going to come.


	14. To hear you singing

A/N: Hi guys! How are you doing this Saturday? Hope that you're doing totally awesome! I just wanted to thank you for your reviews, as always! Besides, this time I want to let you know that I won't be able to update the next chapter on Saturday, so I'll be updating it on Sunday. Also I want to thank my sister because she's the one responsible to be updating every Saturday the chapters I already wrote, without her I wouldn't have the time because I'm like very very busy! So that's all I guess! I hope you can enjoy this new chapter; this time is less dramatic, I think! Okay, I shouldn't screw it, so I'll just let you read it. Thank you all for reading this story! Until next Sunday!

* * *

**Teenage Dream – Part 14 – To hear you singing**

* * *

As usual, I arrived at the Golden Gate Bridge earlier than Freckles, but this time I didn't wait for her in the place we agreed to meet. I don't know why I decided to wait for her behind a large tree that was near the eastern side walkway. It was as if I was hiding from her, because I still wasn't sure if she was going to come or what she wanted to talk to me about. When I first read her text message, it took me 2 hours to reply her. First, I couldn't believe she was the one who was texting me; and secondly, I couldn't trust on her anymore and that was terrible. Maybe meeting here was a new plan that she and Brian plotted after drama class; maybe she didn't want to talk to me to be fine again, maybe she wanted to fool me. But I was this stupid guy who wanted to be with her, who would do whatever she wanted; such an idiot, but I couldn't help it. And I tried to ignore her at least for a while until I clear everything with myself and my feelings, but it didn't work. The truth was that I wanted to see her, to hear the sound of her voice, to hear her laugh again, and to hold her hand and feel that weird feeling that I had whenever I did it. But I didn't want to be fooled by her again; I wouldn't be able to take it; so that's why I was hiding. And then I saw her walking alone to the place we agreed to meet and my heart skipped a beat. I saw her looking around to see if I was there, but I didn't move from where I was, I just couldn't. I saw her waiting, looking beautiful and not like those cheerleaders taught her how to dress; I saw her standing there and I felt this pressure on my chest. If only this situation was different... I stared just there, seeing her on the sly, I stared her for a long and I wasn't aware of the time. But then I saw how she turned around and started walking. Was she leaving? I looked my watch and I saw that indeed I've been staring her for more than an hour; it was obvious that she was going to leave. I wanted to walk to her, but I couldn't move; I was scared. Then a car drove near her and illuminated her face; I could see her face and I saw her disappointed look. I couldn't let her like that, so I took the guts to run to her despite my fears.

_**"Freckles!"**_ I yelled loudly and agitated behind her.

When she heard my voice she stopped walking but she didn't turn around to look at me, so I walked to her. When I reached her, she was looking down as if she didn't want me to look at her and I noticed how she wiped away a tear surreptitiously. I felt really bad about it.

_**"For a moment I thought you weren't going to come."**_ Freckles whispered, still looking down.

_**"That is what I used to say to you."**_ I said smiling softly, trying to change this gloomy situation. _**"This is the first time you arrive before than me."**_ I lied because I wouldn't admit that I was staring her on the sly. _**"I'm really sorry; I couldn't make it in time."**_

_**"That's alright."**_ She answered faintly, still looking down. Damn, how could I make her feel good now? This was my fault.

_**"Do you want to walk with me? It's amazing to walk in the Golden Gate Bridge, I don't know if you've done it before."**_ I said smiling widely and trying to sound cheerful although I was nervous. She only shook her head in response. _**"Come with me, you won't regret." **_

I started walking and she followed me, in this uncomfortable silence. I've been in this kind of situation with Freckles but it wasn't as same as before. We were walking together as if we were strangers; well, I was a stranger for her but she wasn't a stranger for me and I wanted so badly to hold her hand and walk like that with her. So I took the risk, after all, we have to take risks in our lives. I held her hand shyly but firmly, without saying anything. I was expecting the worst of this, I was expecting her to curse me; but instead, she intertwined her fingers with mine in silence. And that was all that I needed, all that I wanted for so long and I couldn't help it but feeling that ticklish in my stomach. We walked holding hands for a while in this quiet night in San Francisco, and I felt as if no one could ruin this moment, not even W.

_**"Wait, wait here."**_ I said smiling when we were in the middle of the bridge.

_**"What?"**_ She asked looking into my eyes shyly and confused. _**"Did I do something...?"**_

_**"No, no. Hold on here."**_ I said smiling amused and cheerfully and she frowned. _**"Close your eyes."**_

_**"No, I won't..."**_ She started complaining as if she was thinking I was crazy. But then I stood in front of her and I grabbed her arms softly.

_**"Trust me, I won't hurt you. Close your eyes."**_ I said firmly and smiling kindly, looking deeply into her eyes. She didn't say anything but she closed her eyes slowly_**. "I'll guide you, don't be afraid and do not open your eyes until I tell you. Trust me."**_ I said standing behind her while I placed my hands on her waist very smoothly. I noticed how she shivered at my touch but she didn't open her eyes, so I rested my chin on her shoulder to whisper in her ear. _**"Relax, I won't hurt you."**_

I walked her to the railing and I made her stop there. I wrapped my arms around her waist and I nuzzled my nose on her neck; once again she shivered at my touch. I wasn't planning to do this, but I couldn't help it. Her smell was captivating me and I had this need to be as close as I could from her. I felt her soft skin and instinctively I brushed my lips on her neck, making her shiver again. I needed to stop doing this because at this point I didn't know how this could end up, considering that I was feeling over again this need to kiss her, although she was only a friend to me. With all my willpower, I rested my chin on her shoulder and I smiled softly. Being like this was making me happy, feeling the warmth of her body again and wrapping my arms around her. She seemed so vulnerable and little and I felt as if I was protecting her, as if she was my... just that. I saw all the landscape around, the lights of the city of San Francisco in the distance, the bay illuminated by the streetlights of the bridge, the starry and dark sky and the big old moon. It was wonderful.

_**"Can you feel it?"**_ I whispered in her ear. _**"Can you feel the cool breeze on your skin? The sounds of the city in the distance, the sound of the water? Just forget about everything and focus on your perceptions. Can you smell it? The smell of the bay? The smell of this old metallic structure? Just relax and feel it, imagine that you're alone in this place that you don't know and you have to discover by your senses. What do you imagine?"**_

_**"I imagine a beautiful place, a quiet one. It's peaceful and relaxing. I can't hear the sound of the traffic, I can't smell the contamination of the city; I can't hear all those things that stress me. It's so... wonderful."**_ She whispered still with her eyes closed and I saw how she was smiling joyfully now and that was flawless.

_**"Now imagine you're seeing this wonderful landscape and all is dark, but suddenly the water is illuminated by the moonlight and the stars. There's no one but only you and this place."**_ I whispered softly in her ear, smiling because I was finally seeing her smile, as I always wanted since she lost her memory. _**"How do you feel?"**_

_**"I feel peaceful, as if there's nothing mean that can hurt me."**_ She whispered still with that joyful smile. _**"But I don't want to be alone; I wish there could be someone with me, with whom I could share this. I don't want to be lonely."**_

_**"Then, imagine now that someone walks to you and this someone holds you; holds you and makes you feel how much this someone wants to be with you, because this someone loves you and you feel loved with this someone." **_I whispered with trembling voice because my whole body was trembling, and I also closed my eyes now. And I held her tighter; I wanted to make her feel that I was there with her because that was what I wanted. _**"Can you feel how this someone loves you?"**_ I asked with choked voice now, because this was too much for me to hold. Geez, I loved her so much.

_**"I can."**_ She whispered also with trembling voice as she placed her hands on my arms which were holding her. And I had to contain myself not to kiss her when I felt her touch.

_**"I love you so much."**_ I whispered fondly in her ear before I could realize what I was saying.

That was the most honest thing I said and at first I regretted, but then I changed my mind. This was what I was truly feeling, why would I regret it? Why would I hide my feelings for her? Then I slowly opened my eyes to find out that she was now looking at me frowning with tears on her eyes.

_**"I wish I could remember you. You're being so nice to me and I can't remember you and I'm treating you like crap because I can't remember and you don't deserve it. And I'm this bitch girl who's hurting you and this is not right... This is not right and I wish I could remember..."**_ Freckles babbled with choked voice, shedding some tears.

That broke my heart, it was sad to see her crying like that, desperate because she couldn't remember even though she was trying hard. I made her turn around to hug her tight and she cried on my chest while I rubbed her back reassuringly. It was as if she was this little girl I wanted to be happy again.

_**"Don't feel bad, I got your back. You'll be fine and I'll be fine, I'm fine whenever I'm with you. And this? This is all I need, so don't worry about me because this isn't your fault. And you'll remember someday, let's not hurry things because there's no hurry."**_ I whispered in her ear while I was still rubbing her back and she was still crying on my chest. I forgot about all my fears, I forgot that idea I had that maybe this was a plan she has plotted with Brian; I forgot it all because she seemed so honest and vulnerable. She was the girl I knew, I knew it when I saw her smile.

_**"I'm sorry to have treated you in a bad way, I'm really sorry. It's just I'm so confused and frustrated and I barely know what to do."**_ She said now looking at me with her big and teary eyes, while I was still wrapping my arms around her.

_**"I know and I understand. You're forgiven."**_ I said caressing her cheek smoothly. I was afraid to caress her cheek at first because I didn't know how she would react, but when I noticed she was letting me to do so, I felt really good. Her skin was really soft.

_**"You shouldn't be nice to me, because I'm not nice to you and you... you're all the time telling me that I used to do any random thing, that we were used to do whatever and to go wherever...And I can't remember and it makes me feel terrible!"**_ She said upset with herself, and pouting. Oh dammit, that was so adorable that I couldn't help it but smiling sweetly. _**"Why are you smiling like that?"**_ She asked puzzled because that wasn't the right time to smile like that because she was telling me something not nice.

_**"Nothing. Only that you look totally adorable when you pout like that."**_ I said still smiling like a fool. Dammit! Why did I have to say something like that? I really needed to think before talking.

_**"Are you making fun of me?"**_ She asked frowning and pouting like a little kid.

_**"Aww!" **_I exclaimed smiling goofily when I saw her adorable face, placing both of my hands on her cheeks. I couldn't help it, man. That sound only came out from my mouth and I didn't even have the intention to do it. _**"You're like a puppy!"**_

_**"Are you comparing me with an animal?"**_ She asked in disbelief, frowning.

_**"No... I mean yes, but not with any kind of animal. I'm comparing you with a puppy and puppies are totally adorable and cute and all."**_ I said like a fool, not thinking about what I was saying.

_**"What it's next then? Should I start barking or something?"**_ She asked looking at me now kinda amused.

_**"Oh, I'd die to see that happening."**_ I giggled and she giggled faintly, looking down.

_**"I was talking about serious stuff and then you start saying something like this... This... Geez."**_ She said still giggling softly.

_**"Well, at least I made you giggle. And that was totally awesome."**_ I said smiling widely and she looked at me with bright eyes. Gosh, I missed so much seeing those bright eyes. Suddenly it was as if I could notice how damn beautiful she was, she was indeed a beautiful girl.

_**"Thank you, for all you're doing."**_ She said smiling kindly at me and I just felt this ticklish again. This was the first time she smiled at me like that since she lost her memory.

_**"Trust me; I could do more than this for you."**_ I said smiling kindly at her, caressing her cheek with my thumb, very smoothly.

_**"So... If I asked you to do something for me... Would you do it?"**_ She asked shyly as if she really wanted to ask me something, but she was afraid to ask.

_**"Yes, I would."**_ I assured smiling.

_**"If I asked you, for example, if we could pretend to not know each other to start over again... Would you do it?"**_ She asked shyly again, this time looking down.

I knew what she wanted to do. She couldn't remember me and she was feeling bad for it, so she wanted to start over again, as if we were just two strangers talking, so maybe that way she would find out why she was my friend in the past; without the pressure of me trying to make her remember things she couldn't. This could be actually a good idea, so I just smiled at her and I stepped back, placing my hands in my jean's pockets, while she looked at me confused. I looked at her as if I didn't know her and I just stumbled with her on my way.

_**"Excuse me, missy. I'm new here and I'm kinda lost... Could you help me to find my way back home?"**_ I asked looking at her amused and when she noticed what I was doing she smiled brightly._** "I'm Darren, by the way."**_

_**"Nice to meet you, Darren. You can call me Freckles, as one person used to call me once upon a time."**_ Freckles smiled with the same bright smile. Her smile was so bright as never before and that... that was all I needed to feel happy again. Her bright smile was like... magical.

* * *

At first you thought that Darren wasn't going to come, but he finally arrived. At first, you didn't want to be there, but then he did that wonderful thing: He asked you to close your eyes and he took you away, only with your imagination, away from all the frustration you were feeling for not remembering anything at all. He made you smile as no one before, at least of what you remembered. He made you feel loved; he made you feel a weird ticklish on your belly when he held you in his arms, when he whispered in your ear, when he brushed his lips on your neck. The weirdest thing for you was to hear whispering in your ear how much he loved you in that fond way; something that made you feel safe but at the same time sad, because it didn't matter how hard you were trying, you couldn't remember him. There was only one way you could maybe remember him, and it was if the two of you started once again. Even though you wouldn't remember him over again, maybe meeting each other again was a way to find out why you were friends with him in the past, maybe in a future you wouldn't need to remember him because you became friends over again. Maybe it could work, maybe not, you didn't know. One thing was for sure and it was that you couldn't keep being like this because he was all the time telling you things you were used to do in the past and that was making you feel really bad because you couldn't remember those things. He wasn't to blame, but you just couldn't keep doing this like that. So it surprised you when Darren started pretending he didn't know you, it surprised you the way he got so fast what you needed.

_**"Excuse me, missy. I'm new here and I'm kinda lost... Could you help me to find my way back home?"**_ He asked looking at you amused and you couldn't help it but smiling. _**"I'm Darren, by the way."**_

_**"Nice to meet you, Darren. You can call me Freckles, as one person used to call me once upon a time."**_ You said still smiling. _**"So, where's your home? Maybe I'll be able to help you."**_

_**"That's the point. I don't know."**_ He said shrugging and pretending to be very worried.

_**"So that's a big problem."**_ You said crossing your arms and also pretending to be worried. Since when you could act? Maybe this was what Dean was talking about when he said you were good at acting. _**"Maybe we could walk until you remember where your house is."**_

_**"Actually, I think it's a good idea. But I wouldn't want to bother you."**_

_**"Not a bother. Anyway, I lost my way back home as well, and I have nothing to do." **_You said smiling and shrugging.

_**"It's impossible to me to believe that you have nothing to do, guess I'm a lucky man."**_ Darren said kinda flirty and you couldn't help it but giggling. _**"And a girl like you shouldn't be alone this late."**_

_**"Why not?"**_ You asked pretending to be intrigued but actually you were amused at his natural way of flirting. Definitely, he was a guy who knew how to flirt even though it wasn't his intention.

_**"Well, tells the story..." **_Darren whispered getting closer to you as if he was telling you a top secret. _**"That in dark nights like this, with full moon, a werewolf appears in San Francisco to kidnap the prettiest girls..."**_

_**"Oh, that's terrible!"**_ You said faking surprise and fear, amazed by Darren's imagination. _**"Lucky I'm not a pretty girl."**_

_**"What? Then you're the most vulnerable, because you're so very beautiful but you aren't bumptious about this. The werewolf will come for you if you keep being alone." **_Darren whispered as this was a real secret, still flirting naturally.

_**"Do you really think so?"**_ You asked pretending to be scared. _**"What should I do then?"**_

_**"You should stay really near me. This werewolf won't do anything to you if he sees you're with another guy."**_ Darren whispered again and you stepped closer, yes you were close enough.

_**"Is it fine now?"**_ You whispered looking into his bright hazel eyes. Oh, those eyes; you felt a weird ticklish on your belly.

_**"No, we should be even closer."**_ He whispered looking fixedly into your eyes, stepping even closer; now you were like four inches away from each other. _**"Like this."**_ He whispered with a seductive smile. Was he actually flirting with you? That was ridiculous. Anyway, for some reason, you were enjoying this. _**"And maybe...we should walk like this."**_ Darren whispered now holding your hand. You couldn't explain why you felt this weird whenever you felt his touch. _**"Just in case, is safer this way."**_

_**"Alright, if you say that like this the werewolf won't hurt me, we should do it."**_ You whispered also flirting. If he was talking in a flirty way, why shouldn't you do the same? This was funny. _**"Would you protect me from the werewolf?" **_You asked as if you were helpless and also flirty, and Darren looked at you amazed and then he smiled.

_**"Of course I'll protect you. Always."**_ He whispered looking fixedly into your eyes.

_**"Thank you."**_ You answered smiling seductively. Wow, you've never flirted with someone before and this was pretty amusing. _**"We should find our homes, but I don't know which way we should go."**_

_**"Mhm, maybe we should go that way."**_ Darren said pointing exactly the opposite direction where your home was. But you didn't say anything, maybe you could stay late this night.

_**"I agree."**_ You answered smiling and he smiled back to you.

The two of you started walking to the opposite direction to where your home was, holding hands and in silence, but the two of you smiling. You seemed to be a couple, like in a romantic movie walking holding hands in the night with full moon and no one walking around. Except for the fact that you weren't a couple and he was still a stranger for you. However, this was being a good night, something that you weren't expecting to happen when you asked him to come here.

_**"I couldn't help but notice that you have a guitar. Are you a musician?" **_You suddenly asked intrigued for real. If you were going to pretend you didn't know each other, you needed to discover new things about this Darren Criss guy. He smiled but he didn't look at you, he kept walking holding hands with you.

_**"That's what I wish."**_ He said still smiling and looking at the landscape._** "I love music and I wish someday I could become a good musician."**_

_**"But, you can play the guitar, can't you? I mean, you wouldn't walk around with a guitar if couldn't play it."**_ You asked intrigued, looking at him while he was looking away.

_**"Yes, I can."**_ He said giggling.

_**"That's amazing, I always wanted to learn how to play guitar, but my fingers are stupid, so short to reach the strings and play the right chord."**_ You said frowning and looking down, while Darren laughed out loud. _**"Hey! It's not funny!"**_

_**"I'm sorry! It's just that I pictured you trying to reach the strings and... Never mind."**_ Darren said still laughing. He had a flawless laughter, so you couldn't help it but smile amused. _**"I could teach you, if you want."**_

_**"Oh no, I gave up on that. I'd never be good at playing musical instruments."**_ You refused, still smiling amused. _**"So, guitar is the only instrument you can play?"**_

_**"No, actually."**_ He said smiling naturally, still walking holding hands with you peacefully.

_**"What other instruments can you play?" **_

_**"Well..."**_ Darren said smiling but a bit uncomfortable. _**"Guitar, violin, harmonica, piano, drums, cello and mandolin."**_ He answered quietly while you looked at him with eyes wide open and raising eyebrows, really amazed.

_**"You gotta be kidding me!"**_ You exclaimed still amazed while he laughed softly. _**"You aren't kidding, are you?"**_

_**"Nope. I'm not kidding."**_ He said laughing softly and a bit uncomfortable, maybe he was shy? _**"But hey, don't think I'm good at playing all of them, I'm still learning."**_

_**"You're like this infant prodigy."**_ You said still astonished and amazed and Darren finally looked at you raising eyebrows in surprise and amused.

_**"Infant prodigy?"**_ He finally asked laughing and shaking his head. "_**No, oh man, no! Not at all." **_

_**"Oh please, don't be so self-effacing. I want to see it, I want to know if you're good or not."**_ You said looking at him amused.

_**"Are you like... challenging me?"**_ He asked suspiciously and amused.

_**"Maybe I am."**_ You answered shrugging. _**"So, can you sing too?"**_

_**"Yes, I can sing. But everybody can sing, the fact is if you can sing in tune or not."**_ He answered shrugging but that wasn't answering your question.

_**"Well, you know that was what I meant. Can you sing in tune?" **_You asked intrigued again.

_**"I don't know, you'll have to tell me so."**_ He said smiling mysteriously.

_**"Sing me something, then."**_ You said looking fixedly into his eyes. You really wanted to know if he was a good singer or not.

_**"I will, not now. Soon."**_ He said mysteriously again. Was he planning something?

_**"Alright, I take your word. And... Do you write your own songs or something?"**_ You asked intrigued over again.

_**"Oh man, I feel like I'm being interviewed. Or as if you were like a detective trying to discover a crime or something."**_ He laughed merrily.

_**"Hey! I'm intrigued! Am I making you feel uncomfortable?"**_ You asked now concerned, you didn't want to bug him even though you wanted to know more about him.

_**"Not at all. I love your interest about this. You could be a journalist, you know."**_ He answered smiling sweetly. Oh, that was very sweet. _**"I tried to write my own songs, yes. But I never finished writing completely one song."**_

_**"Why not?"**_ You asked frowning and he looked at you frowning and astonished, as if you were the first one who asked him so and he already didn't have the answer.

_**"Well, I guess it's because I have a lot of ideas and a lot of things to write about; but I just can't find the way to connect all the things. It's like always something is missing and I can't make it right, I'm still trying to write that perfect song to me." **_Darren answered frankly.

_**"I get it. Like a puzzle!"**_ You exclaimed excited as if this was a very important discovery and he laughed out loud.

_**"Yes, like a puzzle."**_ He answered still laughing and nodding.

_**"So, there's something I can't understand..."**_ You said slowly and thoughtful.

_**"What's that?"**_ He asked smiling softly and looking at the bay.

_**"You can play like a whole lot of musical instruments, you can sing, and you're writing your own songs; but you don't consider yourself as a musician yet. How come?"**_ You asked looking down kinda confused, frowning and Darren giggled.

_**"I've got a lot to learn to be a musician. That's why I'd like to study something related to music and acting at college. I love those things and I love them together."**_ Darren answered quietly.

_**"I see... This is your last year in high school, isn't it?"**_ You asked quietly.

_**"Yes, it is."**_ He answered nodding.

_**"Are you scared?"**_ You asked intrigued because you were scared to start college, a new life; but fortunately you had still one more year to finish high school.

_**"Like hell."**_ He answered sincerely. _**"I have no idea what I'll find out there, I have no idea how life in college is. I'm scared that maybe I'll miss here; my family, friends, this city itself. I'm scared because... What if I don't like it? What would I do?"**_ Darren said sounding vulnerable and not like this perfect guy, something that was making him being more perfect. _**"But maybe college would be the best experience ever; I mean, I'm gonna study that thing that I love. I don't know, I guess I'll have to wait to see it by myself." **_

_**"Yes, that's right. After all, you may be scared because this is a new stage in your life. I guess it was the same when you finished elementary school to start high school, the same happens when you have to start college. Like, all the changes in our lives are scary because we don't know what it'll come to be, but that's pretty exciting at the same time, because we'll do something for the first time and there's nothing better than that. I guess."**_ You said rambling trying to say all you were thinking and Darren looked at you with his bright eyes, smiling kindly.

_**"That's a really good point."**_ He finally said.

Darren and you kept talking about random things while walking holding hands, going to nowhere in particular. This was the best you've done since you've lost your memory. Everything was so natural, plain and spontaneous; as if you've been his friend since you were a little girl. You were feeling very comfortable with him that you forgot all of those incoherent things about W and bad things. It was only you, him and this dark and cool night in San Francisco. It was good.

* * *

_**"I don't want to bug you, but I really need to stop walking. My feet hurt like a lot." **_Freckles said after we spent two hours walking without stopping.

_**"I could always raise you up."**_ I said looking at her amused and raising an eyebrow, as if I were about to make a prank. She got it instantly, so she let out my hand and started walking faster. _**"Hey, where are you going? I thought you were tired?"**_

_**"I was!"**_ She yelled and she started walking even faster, almost running. How on earth could she know what I wanted to do?

_**"Okay! Hey, you! Stop!"**_ I yelled giggling really amused, now running behind her to catch her.

_**"Catch me if you can!"**_ She yelled giggling and running as a child and I ran behind her.

She was really fast and she was running all around, laughing so naturally that I only wanted to catch her to hold her in my arms tightly, only to hear her amazing laughter near me. But suddenly she disappeared in the dark. I looked for her, but I couldn't find her anywhere. I looked for her several minutes and she wasn't appearing, I couldn't hear any kind of sound so I started worrying. What if something bad happened, like that time when Peter caught her?

_**"Freckles? Where are you?" **_I yelled in the dark place.

This place was kinda scary, I've never been here considering we've been walking a lot and we were far away from the city and the streetlights. No one seemed to be around and Freckles didn't answer.

_**"Freckles, this isn't funny! Where are you?"**_ I yelled again, this time even more concerned.

And that was the time when my phone buzzed and I started to get really nervous. I haven't received a text from W since a long time.

**"Beware with the girl, Criss. Bad idea to leave her alone in the dark. -W-"**

Oh no, this wasn't good. I needed to hurry up and find her quickly before than W. So, right in this moment, W was spying us, but it didn't surprise me, W was everywhere. I looked for Freckles, but there was no clue of her, and I couldn't hear any kind of sound.

_**"Freckles, come on! Get out of wherever you are, this isn't funny at all!"**_ I yelled scared and edgy.

_**"Party pooper!"**_ I heard a voice yelling and laughing behind me, something that scared the crap out of me.

There she was. Freckles was alone and safe, nothing bad seemed to have happened to her. And she was laughing but I was so very worried so I couldn't laugh. If she wouldn't have appeared, then I wouldn't know what W could have done to her. I walked to her frowning and a bit mad.

_**"Do not ever do that again! Do not disappear like this, Freckles!"**_ I scolded her, as if I were her father or something; just as the same way Jen was used to scold me when she was mad at me.

_**"What? I thought we were having fun." **_Freckles said bewildered, frowning.

_**"Well, that wasn't fun! It's dark and it's dangerous to disappear in a place neither of us knows! Dammit, don't do it again!"**_ I exclaimed mad, but not because I was angry, but because I was really worried.

_**"Well, sorry."**_ She said now upset and looking away, still frowning. Now she wasn't laughing at all. _**"Anyway, I don't know why you're being like this, like scolding me as if you were...I don't know, a teacher or my father or something; only because I wanted to play a little. That's ridiculous. I thought you were cool."**_

_**"You don't know how I am because you can't remember, so you have no idea." **_I said upset now, because somehow her words made me feel angry. I knew I screwed it all when I saw her face.

_**"Yeah, right."**_ She said almost in a whisper and then she turned around and started walking.

_**"Hey, no, wait."**_ I said walking behind her, feeling really guilty and regret because of my rough words; but she kept walking, ignoring me. So I walked faster to reach her and grab her arm to stop her. _**"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean it."**_

_**"Yes, you really meant that."**_ She replied looking away, but anyway she didn't keep walking. _**"And you know? That's fine, because that is what happened, I don't remember you so I don't know how you are. And here we are, two fool people pretending not to know each other to start over again something that I don't know how it was like; it was a very stupid idea. Whatever, it's fine."**_ She said kinda disappointed and she tried to walk away again, but I held her.

_**"No, it's not fine. I don't think this is stupid and I'm really sorry for have said what I said. I was just very worried when I couldn't find you; it's not safe to be alone here this late in the night."**_ I said as sincerely as I could be, but she didn't look at me.

_**"Yes, whatever, I forgive you."**_ She said and I felt a bit better, but then she started walking away from me.

_**"Hey, wait! Where are you going?" **_

_**"Home. You said it, it's late."**_ She answered curtly, without looking at me and still walking while I reached her again.

_**"No, you can't go home." **_

_**"Excuse me?"**_ She asked in disbelief, now looking at me raising an eyebrow. _**"You won't tell me what I can do and what not."**_

_**"And I won't. I just... I won't let you go alone..."**_ I said kinda worried again.

I didn't want to mention which was the real reason I didn't want her to come back home alone. Not only because it was dangerous and because I knew W was around and I didn't want to worry her by saying that W was here, I didn't want to screw more this moment. It was because I really didn't want her to leave; I wanted to hold on to her at least a little more, I wanted to spend more time with her because I really missed her a lot. But I couldn't tell her this. Then, what could I say?

_**"I'm old enough to take care of myself, thank you."**_ She answered curtly again.

_**"Just let me walk you home."**_ I almost begged, I didn't know how to make this better.

_**"No. Bye, Darren."**_ She said coldly and she walked away, leaving me there.

_**"You know what sucks?"**_ I finally said loudly, so she stopped but didn't turn around to look at me. _**"That I'm all the time screwing everything. I really thought I could do this with you, but evidently it wasn't like that. It doesn't matter what I do and how good my intentions are, I always end up screwing everything and it's kinda frustrating. The most frustrating thing is to see how you walk away while I'm still here, wishing to hold on to you at least a little more; but you walk away anyway, because of my fault, because there's always something I do wrong. I wish you could see that I'm trying to do the right thing and I wish you could really forgive me for my stupid mistakes."**_

I said saying out loud almost all that I was feeling. I had to watch my words not to say some of my deepest secret feelings for her. And that was the time when she turned around to look at me.

_**"And I wish you could ever really forgive me because I can't remember you. It's frustrating for me too."**_ She said gloomy and I couldn't say anything, because both of us were right. I only walked to her and I held both of her hands.

_**"I forgive you and I'm sorry for making you feel frustrated."**_ I said frankly, looking deeply into her eyes.

_**"And I forgive you and I'm sorry for making you feel as if you were doing something wrong." **_She said honestly, also looking deeply into my eyes, so deep that I got lost in her eyes. _**"After all, you're the only one who made me smile this much lately and I never thanked you for that." **_

_**"I told you I was going to do whatever it takes to see you smiling again. And you... You make me smile."**_ I said smiling sweetly at her, caressing her hands with my thumbs. Geez, I really needed to stop telling her how I was feeling with her, I didn't want to creep her. _**"Can... Can we just... be together a little more?"**_ I asked awkwardly and shyly.

_**"Yes, we can."**_ She answered after a while, smiling at me and I felt warmth on my chest.

_**"Can we just go somewhere else? I know you're tired and you don't want to..."**_ I started saying but she interrupted me.

_**"Just let's go somewhere else if you want."**_ She said kindly. Yes, she was still being the same person I... I was friends with.

We started walking holding hands again in silence, and I let her to lead me wherever she wanted to go; I only wanted to be away from W and I only wanted to be with her, anything else mattered to me. While we were walking, she was so focused on the way, so I just took the advantage to stare at her. How come she could make me this happy even though we weren't talking now? How come this almost insignificant situation could be so perfect to me? Why was she making me feel like this even though it wasn't her intention? And suddenly I pictured both of us, elderly, walking around just holding hands and enjoying being together; I pictured both of us still being happy like this in the future and I thought it could be possible with her, I thought that I could be like this with her for so long. Quickly I dissipated those thoughts away from my mind; I shouldn't be thinking of her like this, as if she was my partner or something. But I really had this need to stop her and just hug her, to just feel her as mine. I shouldn't be confused. While I was thinking about this, Freckles led me to a place I've never been before. It was such an amazing place, like a hill with a few trees with an excellent view to the city. This place should be definitely a touristic place.

_**"Do you think here's okay?"**_ Freckles asked looking around and I just stared at her. What I really wanted to answer was that it didn't matter where we were as long as I could be with her; but obviously I didn't answer that.

_**"Yes, I like this place."**_ I answered instead, smiling amiably.

_**"So...Uhm... Do you think we should..?"**_ Freckles started asking uncomfortable because evidently she didn't know what to do.

I only smiled amused and I sat on the grass, pulling her to make her sit next to me; but like an idiot, I did it so clumsily and hastily that I made her stumble and she ended up sitting on my lap on a weird position. She hit her head on my stomach and she placed her hands on my hips to maintain the balance. Yes, actually her upper body ended up on my lap. Man, I couldn't be that clumsy, that was awkward.

_**"I'm really sorry! Sorry, sorry, sorry!"**_ I apologized quickly feeling like a jerk. She, instead being mad at me, started laughing.

_**"It's fine, I'm fine, everything is fine."**_ She said sitting up right next to me, still laughing. _**"But as a punishment to have made me fall, you have to do something."**_ She said now looking at me mischievously.

_**"Should I be scared?"**_ I asked looking at her suspiciously.

_**"Very scared..."**_ She said with the same mischievously smile. Oh well, she was being so intriguing and I loved it.

_**"Am I on time to run away?"**_ I asked jokingly.

_**"Oh no, sir. Face your punishment."**_ She said amused and saucy.

_**"Damn it. Fine, I'll face my punishment, lady."**_ I said also amused. _**"What do I have to do?"**_

_**"Sing to me."**_ She said after a while and I smiled brightly at her. Well, nobody else asked me before to sing for that someone.

_**"Is that so? I'll be honored."**_ I said still smiling brightly and pulling out my guitar. _**"What song do you want me to sing?" **_

_**"Surprise me."**_ She said with an amused smile, looking at me fixedly.

Well, I had the perfect song for this moment. I started tuning the guitar until it was sounding good, so then I was ready to start singing. This was weird and I don't know why I was kind of nervous if I've sung and played my guitar in front of a lot of people before; but with Freckles it was different; she had never heard me singing before and I only hoped she could like it, I just don't know why. Before start singing and playing my guitar, I looked at her straight in her eyes and I smiled fondly, while she was looking at me intently and was smiling softly. This song was definitely dedicated to her, even though I'd never admit that.

_Life is beautiful_

_We live until we die._

_When you run into my arms,_

_We steal a perfect moment._

_Let the monsters see you smile,_

_Let them see you smiling._

_Do I hold you too tightly?_

_When will the hurt kick in?_

_Life is beautiful, but it's complicated._

_We barely make it._

_We don't need to understand,_

_There are miracles, miracles._

_Yeah, life is beautiful._

_Our hearts, they beat and break._

_When you run away from harm,_

_Will you run back into my arms,_

_Like you did when you were young?_

_Will you come back to me?_

_I will hold you tightly_

_When the hurting kicks in._

_Life is beautiful, but it's complicated, _

_We barely make it._

_We don't need to understand,_

_There are miracles, miracles._

_Stand where you are._

_We let all these moments pass us by._

_It's amazing where I'm standing,_

_There's a lot that we can give._

_This is ours just for the moment,_

_There's a lot that we can give._

_It's amazing where I'm standing, _

_There's a lot that we can give. _

_This is ours just for the moment, _

_There's a lot that we can give._

While I was singing I tried to do my best, at some point I wanted to impress her, I wanted to make her feel that the lyrics of the song was dedicated to her. But I didn't dare to look at her while I was singing, because on the other hand I was afraid of what she'll think if she found out that I meant it. But when I finished singing and playing my guitar, I looked up to her and I smiled softly. She was looking at me intently and there was a twinkle in her eyes so pretty.

_**"Your voice is dreamy." **_She whispered as if she was amazed and I smiled even brighter but I looked down because I was feeling shy.

_**"Thank you."**_ I answered shyly. Whoa man! She was the first one who made me feel shy when I sang. Dammit, I was like blushing.

_**"Definitely you'll succeed if you dedicate to music. Really, you have this way to sing, so mellow and stripped down and just... I loved it."**_ She said still amazed and she was really making me blush.

_**"Oh, stop it."**_ I said shifting uncomfortable because I was feeling very bashful as never before.

_**"Have you sung to me before in the past?"**_ She asked intrigued and I looked at her again.

_**"No, this is the first time."**_ I answered smiling cheerfully.

_**"I thought so. I mean, how on earth could I forget your voice? It's just so wonderful, no one could forget it."**_ She said thoughtful and amazed.

_**"You're making me feel flattered, Freckles."**_ I said now giggling nervously.

_**"Well, you should get used at it. Imagine when people do line to get your autograph or to get a ticket for your show! Imagine all the people screaming your name and wishing to hear you singing, all of your fans telling you amazing things and making you feel even more flattered. You most definitely have to get used."**_ She said smiling and with a dreamy face. Even though her ideas were so unrealistic and illusory, she really made me smile; that was like a very good dream.

_**"Will you be there for that time?"**_ I asked looking at her fixedly and smiling.

_**"Yes, I could be your manager."**_ She said now also smiling, and letting her fantasies soar.

_**"What if we form a duet? So people will do line to get a ticket for our show. That would be awesome."**_ I said also letting my fantasies soar and she burst out laughing.

_**"That won't happen. No if you want to succeed. I'll screw it all and people will run away scared trying to save their ears."**_ She said still laughing and I couldn't help it but giggling softly.

_**"Why do you say it?"**_ I asked intrigued and amused.

_**"I'm the most terrible singer you've ever seen, duh."**_ She said raising an eyebrow and still laughing.

_**"You cannot be that bad."**_ I said looking at her amused. Geez, I loved her laughter.

_**"Trust me, I can."**_ She assured firmly.

_**"I want to hear you singing, and then I'll check it."**_ I said looking at her intently. I really wanted to know how her voice was singing. What if she had a beautiful voice? That would make her perfect and she couldn't be that perfect.

_**"You won't get it."**_ She refused firmly shaking her head.

_**"Oh, come on, please!"**_ I begged looking into her eyes.

_**"No way."**_ She refused again, this time even more firmly. So I just got closer to her and I grabbed her hands.

_**"Please?"**_ I asked looking at her with my look of puppy. Jen always told me that I could get whatever I wanted if I looked at someone this way, so I was doing it. Freckles glanced at me and she shook her head. _**"Pretty please?"**_

_**"Oh my God. How do you do that?"**_ She asked looking at me in disbelief. _**"Fine, I'll do it. But trust me, I'm a really bad singer, like the worst." **_She said frowning and I smiled brightly. Yay! I got it and I was feeling really joyful.

_**"It doesn't matter. I only want to hear you singing. My friend, Jen, is a bad singer but she sings anyway. You see, music has this effect on people, it doesn't matter how bad you're singing, you just feel good while singing."**_ I said trying to make her feel more comfortable.

_**"Well, you see, I know it. I sing while showering or in my bedroom. But I've never sung in front of someone. And it's really shameful to me to sing in front of you who happen to have a fantastic voice."**_ She said looking away nervously.

_**"Oh please! Forget about it, I'm not here to judge you how you sing; I'm here to hear you singing and just have a good time together. How many times have you had a moment like this? Imagine you're sitting around a bonfire, everybody sings."**_ I said persuasive.

_**"Fine, fine, I'll do it."**_ She said less nervous now, but still nervous anyway.

_**"Okay, let's do this. Considering that music is like the best way to let soar all we feel, let's play a kind of game."**_ I said when I came up with an idea.

_**"What kind of game?" **_She asked suspiciously and intrigued.

_**"You'll sing a song which expresses what you really feel. Be wise to choose the proper song. And... I'll answer what I think, also singing. So, what do you think?"**_ I asked looking at her smiling.

_**"I don't know..."**_ She answered unsure and looking down. _**"I don't know if I could do it. It's like very private." **_

_**"Hey..."**_ I said smoothly, holding her hands. _**"I won't judge you. I thought that maybe you could need to tell someone how you're actually feeling, but it's hard for you because nobody seems to care and because it's always hard to say to another one how you really feel. You almost all the time can't find the right words, so sometimes it could be better to do it singing."**_ I said kindly looking at her. I knew she was feeling like that, because I still remembered the time we were in Marin Headlands for the first time.

_**"Fine..."**_ She answered shyly. _**"Maybe you're right."**_

_**"Cool. So, you'll sing and I'll play my guitar. Deal?" **_I asked cheerfully.

_**"Deal."**_ She said smiling faintly.

_**"Do you have already the song you want to sing?"**_ I asked looking at her. I was really intrigued to know which song she would pick.

_**"I do. I can't believe I'm gonna do this."**_ She said in disbelief shaking her head, but she started singing.

_There's a girl _

_Who sits under the bleachers. _

_Just another day eating alone _

_And though she smiles _

_There is something just hiding _

_And she can't find a way to relate _

_She just goes unnoticed _

_As the crowd passes by _

_And she'll pretend to be busy _

_When inside she just wants to cry _

_She'll say... _

Freckles started singing, at first very shyly and almost in a whisper. I was just so astonished by the song she picked. I wasn't expecting this song; this was a really sad song and I felt kinda down to know she was feeling like this. Anyway, I played my guitar while looking at her intently sometimes. Her voice was so sweet and melodious, of course she was out of tune sometimes, but I thought it could be because she's never practiced unlike me. I thought that if she could practice a little more, her voice would sound like angelical.

_Take a little look at the life of Miss Always Invisible _

_Look a little closer, I really want you to put yourself in her shoes _

_Take another look at the face of Miss Always Invisible _

_Look a little harder and maybe then you will see why she waits for the day _

_When you'll ask her… her name _

_The beginning, in the first weeks of class _

_She did everything to try and fit in _

_But the others they couldn't seem to get past all the things that mismatched on the surface _

_And she would close her eyes when they left and she fell down the stairs _

_And the more that they joked _

_And the more that they screamed _

_She retreated to where she is now _

_And she'll sing..._

Now there was something different in Freckles. It seemed as if she had forgotten she was with someone, it seemed as if she thought she was alone and she was pouring out all she has held on to inside for so long. She was singing in a way that it didn't matter she was out of tune, because she had this way to make feel to the other exactly what she was feeling, she had this ability to make me feel touched by her song; and that was really hard to do. Goddammit, all this time she was feeling like that. Each line she was singing was making me feel even more distressed inside. But I kept playing my guitar.

_Take a little look at the life of Miss Always Invisible _

_Look a little harder I really, really want you to put yourself in her shoes _

_Take a little look at the face of Miss Always Invisible _

_Look a little closer and maybe then you will see why she waits for the day that you will ask her...her name _

_And one day just the same as the last _

_Just the days been in counting the time _

_Came a boy that sat under the bleachers just a little bit further behind..._

When she finished singing I noticed she was still so into the song and she was still pouring out all she was feeling. She was down, yes; but there was something in her eyes when she finally looked at me, something that made me remind when she tried to talk to me at the hospital only with her gaze. Her eyes were teary, but I couldn't tell if it was because she was sad or she was touched, it was as if something bright was hidden in the dark. I couldn't help it but having teary eyes. I didn't say anything at all, I just put my guitar aside and I moved closer to her, so close. We stared into each other's eyes for a long while, just that. It was something special and finally I pulled her into a warm hug, I held her in my arms tightly in silence, trying to make her feel she wasn't a miss always invisible to me; trying to make her feel that she was important to me. That hug was the best hug ever and it lasted a long. I just couldn't let her go.

_**"Thank you, for being that boy that sat under the bleachers just a little bit further behind."**_ Freckles whispered in my ear with choked voice while we were still hugging, sitting on the grass.

_**"I will always be that boy and I wish you could let me sit a little bit closer to you." **_I whispered, moving a little away just to look into her eyes. I caressed her cheek very smoothly and I smiled fondly at her.

_**"Only if you really want."**_ She said looking at me deeply into my eyes as if there was a hint of hope in her eyes.

_**"No, it's not what I want, is what I need."**_ I said honestly still smiling fondly. At this point, I couldn't stop myself from saying what I was feeling. Right when I said so, the twinkle appeared again in her eyes and it was as if her face lit up.

_**"Thank you."**_ She said smiling and the she leaned to kiss my cheek very smoothly.

Oh goddammit, I started feeling a bunch of things, mostly I felt that ticklish on my belly again. I couldn't help it but close my eyes when she kissed my cheek. This was one of the things I missed the most about her, feeling like this whenever she kissed me. And I had this need to turn my face and kiss her lips, I wanted to do it so badly but I needed to contain myself, so my body started trembling. When she moved away I opened my eyes to look at that pretty girl in front of me. I couldn't keep denying it; yes, I was in love with her. She smiled at me kindly and I leaned to attempt to kiss her because it was I wanted to do, but she moved and rested her head on my lap, closing her eyes with the same bright smile. I noticed that I was about to do the worst thing ever, right when things were fine again, so I just started caressing her hair while she kept her eyes closed and with an expression on her face of peaceful. It was so amazing to see her like this that I couldn't help it but smile.

_**"Could you sing to me again?"**_ Freckles asked softly, still with her eyes closed and I caressed her cheek smoothly, very glad to hear her asking that.

_**"If you ask me so like that...I will, yes."**_ I answered smiling even though she wasn't looking at me.

I leaned and I rested my head on my lap so then I was facing her face, I could see her very close to me and I saw every feature of her face. I stared at her for a while, just like this, looking at her long eyelashes, her luscious lips, her soft skin and all her cute freckles and her scar in her jaw. I was like bewitched with her, she had that effect on me. I placed my hands on her arms and like this, I started singing softly in her ear.

_When you're down and troubled and you need a helping hand_

_And nothing, whoa, nothing is going right._

_Close your eyes and think of me and soon I will be there to brighten up even your darkest nights._

_You just call out my name, and you know where ever I am_

_I'll come running to see you again._

_Winter, spring, summer, or fall, all you have to do is call and I'll be there, yeah, yeah,_

_You've got a friend._

_If the sky above you should turn dark and full of clouds_

_And that old north wind should begin to blow,_

_Keep your head together and call my name out loud._

_Soon I will be knocking upon your door._

_You just call out my name, and you know where ever I am_

_I'll come running to see you again._

_Winter, spring, summer, or fall, all you have to do is call and I'll be there._

_Hey, ain't it good to know that you've got a friend? People can be so cold._

_They'll hurt you and desert you. Well, they'll take your soul if you let them,_

_Oh yeah, but don't you let them._

_You just call out my name, and you know where ever I am_

_I'll come running to see you again._

_Winter, spring, summer, or fall, all you have to do is call, Lord, I'll be there, yeah, yeah,_

_You've got a friend. You've got a friend._

_Ain't it good to know you've got a friend? Ain't it good to know you've got a friend?_

_Oh, yeah, yeah, you've got a friend._

This time I looked at her during all the song; this time I didn't play my guitar, this time I didn't want to impress her; this time it was more intimate, like I was whispering her a secret and not actually singing. She didn't open her eyes while I was singing, but I noticed how she was smiling and I noticed how a tear streamed down her face. When I finished singing, she opened her eyes and our eyes met to stare into each other's eyes for a long time without uttering a single word. I'd never understand what happened in that moment, but it was like magical, as sappy as it could sound. I didn't think anything; I just let myself to carry away by her eyes and by my feelings. I leaned and I nuzzled my nose with hers, her lips were now like a magnet to mine. I couldn't contain myself any longer, my lips were so urgent on hers so I slowly brushed my lips against hers; it was a fleeting touch but my body started trembling because I had all these feelings. So I kissed her lips very slightly while placing a hand on her cheek. I was about to kiss her again, this time more firmly; but she pulled away from the kiss. I looked at her nervously because I knew I shouldn't have done it, and I knew it when I saw her bewildered face, frowning in confusion and looking down. I totally screwed it all. I wanted to apologize, but I couldn't because this time I couldn't regret it, because that was what I wanted to do and because I felt good doing so; but I needed to apologize because obviously she didn't want the same.

_**"Freckles... I'm really sorry...I..."**_ I started babbling nervously, trying to make eye contact with her again.

_**"Darren..."**_ She whispered still looking down and then she looked up to me. Her eyes were bigger than ever and she had still this bewildered look.

_**"Yes, I know, I screwed it again, I'm sorry..."**_ I said gulping, feeling even more nervous because of her intense look.

_**"No, no..."**_ She said shaking her head and still looking at me wide-eyed, now shedding some tears. Oh no, shit, I made her feel terrible and I didn't even want to do so.

_**"I'm really sor..."**_ I started saying apologetically, but she interrupted me.

_**"I remember everything. I remember you, Darren."**_


	15. Kicked out

A/N: Hi everybody! Finally it's Sunday! Thank you for waiting for this day to read this new chapter! I wanted to thank you a lot for the last reviews! I never thought I could get so many reviews only with one chapter; at least those were a lot for me and I do thank you for that! And I'm so happy to know that you liked the last chapter, that was what it seemed and really I'm glad! I'll just let you know that this story, Teenage Dream, is planned to be a really long story! This is crazy because when I first decided to start writing a fanfiction, I never thought I could write long stories with several chapters (I remember myself thinking: you're gonna screw it! Do not ever write long stories because is hard!). Oh yeah, but I did, because I'm stubborn. Anyway, I don't regret; yes, it's hard but it's nice to write like this. And you know what? Yesterday, the 3rd of November, it has been 3 months since I started writing Teenage Dream!So... Thank you for sharing with me these 3 months and thank you for supporting me already 3 months! I guess someday I'll find the way to thank you; I don't know how yet, but for sure I must do something to show you my gratitude. Alright, anything else to say I guess... I'll just let you read this new chapter! Oh, by the way, thanks to my sister again for taking her time to have learned how to manage a doc in fanfiction to update this chapter for me! Until next Saturday!

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**Teenage Dream – Part 15 – Kicked out**

* * *

You were now lying down in the grass, resting your head in Darren's lap with your eyes closed and listening to Darren's amazing voice singing in your ear. You still couldn't believe that you've sung in front of him, but you felt genuinely good when you did so, you let yourself to pour out all you were holding onto for so long. Now, he was the cutest person you've ever met and you felt bad to have thought he was a bad person. But now you were feeling more than good for being like this with him in this peaceful night in which no one was bothering or threatening you. And Darren was singing to you a wonderful song which meant a lot to you, so you couldn't help it but shedding a tear and smile because of that; you were feeling very touched indeed. When he finished singing, you finally opened your eyes to find him looking deeply into your eyes. Those eyes, those big and hazel eyes resembled you to eyes that you've dreamed of, sometime long ago; and now you couldn't stop staring at him. You were so close and you were feeling weird but it was a good feeling for sure. He suddenly leaned and nuzzled his nose with yours and you let him doing so because it felt cozy; you only closed your eyes again. Then you felt how his sweet and silky lips brushed against yours very smoothly. Your heart skipped a beat in thrill, but then you had a flashback which tangled you up. You remembered everything, all that happened before that night you received a liquor bottle from W and you got drunk. You remembered how all the time he was there for you, the way he was caring with you, you remembered you were actually friends with him; you remembered all the events that made you happy in middle of your desolation, everything thanks to him. You remembered everything about Darren, the guy who was now in front of you. And you realized why those eyes were so familiar to you, why you felt weird when he nuzzled his nose with yours, why those lips also seemed very familiar to you. Yes, the same thing happened that night when you lost consciousness and your memory; exactly the same have happened. Darren kissed you that night and you could remember it perfectly as if it happened five minutes ago. Darren, the guy you've been in love since the first time you've seen him, was now kissing you for the second time. Why was he doing that? As much as you liked this because it was what you've dreamed of always, you knew something wasn't right. You just moved away from the kiss and looked at him frowning and bewildered. All you remembered suddenly made you feel very dizzy.

_**"I remember everything. I remember you, Darren." **_You said looking at him still astonished and dizzy while your head started aching. You moved a bit away from him and sat upright on the grass.

_**"What?"**_ Darren asked now also astonished and wide-eyed. _**"What are you talking about, Freckles?" **_

_**"I remember that night, I remember it all."**_ You said still taken aback, thinking in all those new memories.

_**"What night?"**_ Darren asked cautiously.

_**"The night when W sent me that liquor bottle, when we were talking...and then when I... when you... I remember it."**_ You said not wanting to tell him that you remembered when he kissed you.

_**"Do you remember... do you remember everything? All you have forgotten, do you remember it?"**_ Darren asked in a mix of fear and happiness.

_**"Yes, I do... My head aches."**_ You said now placing your hands on your head so maybe that way the pain would stop.

_**"Hey, hey!"**_ Darren whispered getting closer to you and grabbing your hands, looking deeply into your eyes. _**"Slow down; don't force yourself to think all that you've forgotten. You remember."**_ He said in a dreamy way and with a twinkle in his eyes.

_**"W has ambushed you. And my father... your mother... Oh my god."**_ You said worried when you remembered the dispute in the hospital.

_**"Hey, stop. Do not think about it now."**_ Darren said kindly and he caressed your hair smoothly trying to reassure you. _**"Do you... Do you remember what happened that night? Like... what have we done?"**_ Darren asked gingerly and looking fixedly into your eyes. Obviously he was afraid you could remember the kiss.

_**"Yes... yes, I do."**_ You said looking away. You needed to lie, you didn't want him to feel uncomfortable with you, and you didn't want him to walk away from you because he was feeling ashamed. _**"Yes, we were talking and then... there's a blank spot in my memory... and then I remember I was feeling tired and just fell asleep. The last thing I remember of that day is being at hospital, when I heard that dispute. That's it."**_

_**"Don't you remember anything else?"**_ Darren asked looking at you frowning.

_**"No, that's all. Is there something else?" **_You asked playing fool. Darren looked down still frowning and you could notice... a sad look?

_**"No, there's nothing else; at least there's nothing else important."**_ Darren said with faintly voice, still looking down. He also lied to you, maybe this was the best. _**"I can't believe you remember, Freckles. You have no idea... I wished you could... I'm so very happy for that, Freckles."**_ Darren said after a while, now looking at you with bright eyes and smiling nicely.

_**"Darren, I'm so sorry; please forgive me."**_ You said with choked voice and teary eyes, looking at the only guy who helped you to keep going all this time, the same guy you treated like crap, really terrible and he didn't deserve it. _**"Please forgive me, I hurt you and I didn't want it..."**_

_**"Hey, Freckles."**_ Darren whispered with sweet voice, moving even closer to you and still holding your hands. _**"I already forgave you, remember?"**_

_**"Yes, but I treated you..."**_ You started saying feeling really guilty. _**"And I was... I left you alone when I promised never to do it... and you were trying... while I was with..."**_

_**"Calm down, Freckles."**_ Darren said reassuringly, caressing your hands with his thumbs. _**"That was in the past, we cannot be stuck in the past. What matters is that we're fine again, that you are fine. Let bygones be bygones."**_

_**"But..." **_

_**"No buts, Freckles. I don't know about you, but I forgot what happened in between when you lost your memory."**_ Darren said smiling and shrugging but you were still looking at him with guilt. _**"Come here."**_ He said smiling sweetly and then he pulled you into a warm hug. _**"Every cloud has a silver lining, so don't feel sad. At the end, we're still together, aren't we?"**_ He whispered in your ear while hugging.

_**"Yes. Thank you for never give up on me."**_ You whispered in his ear while you hugged him tighter.

_**"I will never do so. You see, I can't stay away from you."**_ He whispered.

He moved away from the hug to look at you with a sweet smile and you smiled back at him. You slowly rested your head on his shoulder and wrapped your arms around him; Darren apparently got surprised, because his whole body tensed when you did it. At first you thought you've done something wrong, but then he wrapped his arms around you and kissed your head. You stayed in silence like this for a while; you feeling happy to have remembered him but also feeling worried because your mind was a mess and this was related to W. In the time you've lost your memory, you were used to hang out with Brian and his friends and apparently appearances were deceptive. Brian didn't seem to be the bad person he seemed to be, even though he was the main person who abused you. On the other hand, there was Jim and also Dean; the two people who were trying to brainwash you with bad things about Darren. So then... Who were the real people who were on W's side?

_**"Darren... I know you don't want me to talk about W and all that stuff..."**_ You started saying softly.

_**"No, don't do that now."**_ Darren answered while he was rubbing your back.

_**"But Darren... While I was hanging out with them when I lost my memory... I found out a new thing very important about W; something that I really need to tell you..."**_

* * *

Don't misunderstand me, I was super happy to know that Freckles has recovered memory; I was only kinda down to know she couldn't remember absolutely everything. Yes, I know that what I wanted the night I kissed her for the first time was her to forget about it, but now it was different. Somehow I had the hope she could remember it, I don't know why because I knew the best for us was to keep being only friends, because I was still confused even though my feelings for her were so intense. Maybe the kiss wasn't so important to her so that was why she couldn't remember it, or maybe it was only because she was drunk; I didn't know. And what about this last kiss? Why hasn't she said anything at all about it? Yes, it was a slight and fleeting kiss, but still. What did I really want? Damn, I was so confused. I couldn't stop thinking about all of this while she was resting her head on my shoulder and wrapping her arms around me. I was so very thoughtful until she talked and said something that left me thinking about something else.

_**"But Darren... While I was hanging out with them when I lost my memory... I found out a new thing very important about W; something that I really need to tell you..."**_ Freckles whispered.

_**"We can talk about it later, Freckles. Now you should slow down and just relax."**_ I said kissing her head kindly.

I was taking advantage to be as close to her as I could be. However, I was really intrigued to know what she had to tell me. She moved her head away from my shoulder to look at me; I only got closer and I wrapped my arms around her waist while I placed my legs on her sides, pulling her softly closer to me again. Maybe I was acting like a moron, but I really wanted to take advantage to be near her, because I didn't know how long this was going to last. Anyway, she let me do all of that, because she seemed to be deep in thought.

_**"I can't relax, Darren... Have you heard me?"**_ She asked looking me in disbelief while I pulled her even closer, very softly.

_**"Yes, I have. You need to tell me something new that you've found out about W while you were friends with Brian and all of them."**_ I answered quietly, smiling at her. _**"And I'm telling you that you should forget about W and all the mean things, at least only for tonight."**_

_**"But I can't! This is important!"**_ She said still looking at me in disbelief. I only got closer and I rested my forehead against her.

_**"And isn't this important to you?" **_I asked looking deeply into her eyes. Oh man, what was wrong with me? I was making her feel uncomfortable by being like this with her, but I just couldn't avoid it. Was I flirting with her? Yes, obviously. But... Was she noticing this?

_**"What? Yes, this is important too... But..."**_ She said nervously, turning her face.

_**"But what?"**_ I asked while I placed my hand on her chin to make her look at me again.

We were so close... She looked at me, but I shifted my gaze to her lips and I leaned... I leaned to get even closer, to reach her lips again. This was a feeling that I couldn't contain. But then she pulled me away softly.

_**"Darren, what is wrong with you?"**_ She asked looking at me puzzled. Fuck, I screwed it.

_**"Nothing! Nothing..."**_ I said feeling like a jerk but also feeling down. If I was in love with her, it didn't matter because she wasn't feeling the same for me and I preferred to have her as my friend that not having her at all. _**"I only want you to forget about W, only for tonight. Imagine as if there was nothing bad happening."**_

_**"I can't Darren, because shit is happening..." **_

_**"But imagine it! Imagine if it was only the two of us, right now... and nothing bad is happening, we are just two good friends enjoying a normal night together." **_I said looking deeply into her eyes. She really needed to stop thinking about W all the time or she was going to get sick again.

_**"Don't you care anymore to find out who W is to end with all of this so then we can do what you ask me to do for real?"**_ She asked looking at me kinda disappointed. But it wasn't disappointment, it was something else.

_**"Hey, no..."**_ I said placing my hands firmly on her waist. _**"I do care about finding out who W is. Yes, I do want this to end so then we can do all of this for real. But I don't want you to get sick again because of W."**_

_**"I won't get sick..."**_

_**"That's what happened. You were really stressed because of W and among other things; that is why you were in hospital."**_ I answered still holding her, even though we weren't as close as before.

_**"No, that's ridiculous. My dad told me it was because of school." **_She said frowning.

_**"Yeah, of course he would tell you something like that..." **_I answered ironically raising an eyebrow. I knew I couldn't mess with her father, but I really couldn't stand that man.

_**"Hey, slow down, Darren. He is my father; do not talk about him as if he was a terrible person because you don't know him."**_ Freckles said serious and firmly, apparently a bit upset.

_**"I'm sorry; I didn't try to talk about him as if he was a terrible person. But I can't talk about him as if he was the nicest man on earth, not after the way he treated me and the way he tried to keep us apart."**_ I said honestly, I wouldn't lie to her.

_**"Well, maybe he had his reasons to treat you like that."**_ Freckles whispered looking away and I looked at her in disbelief, now moving my hands away from her. Why would she say something like that? What kind of guy was she thinking I was?

_**"He called me a depraved, scoundrel and miscreant. Do you think I'm that kind of guy?"**_ I said now looking at her hurt and frowning, placing my hands on my pockets.

_**"No! No, Darren. I don't think you're like that. I only said that maybe he had his reasons to treat you like that, because of the ambush and all; he was only trying to protect me."**_ Freckles said placing a hand on my arm and I only glanced at her. Man, I couldn't be mad at her not even once. _**"Maybe if you and my dad meet to clear up..."**_

_**"Oh no, that's not gonna happen."**_ I refused quickly when I noticed what she was trying to tell me. There was no way to talk to that man; I didn't like him at all. His arrogance made me sick.

_**"Well, at least you could try it. If it isn't for you or for him, do it for me."**_ Freckles said looking at me but I was looking away frowning.

_**"Freckles..."**_ I said after a while, now looking into her eyes. _**"I could do whatever you want; you could ask me to do whatever you want and I'd do it... But not this."**_

_**"Why not? Darren, is not that terrible, he isn't a bad person. He was just angry that time."**_ Freckles said looking at me distressed.

_**"There's a thing you don't know... You see, thanks to your father, now my mom is disappointed of me. My mom and I were used to have a really good relationship and now it's all screwed, we barely talk now. And that was since your father treated me like a depraved. Yes, your father maybe isn't a bad person, but you see he didn't only hurt me; he also hurt my mom's feelings. Not to talk about the fact he still thinks I'm the one who is trying to hurt you, so he doesn't want us to be together."**_ I said confessing her what that meeting in hospital caused.

_**"I'm sorry, I didn't know it."**_ Freckles said anguished, looking down.

_**"No, don't feel sorry because it's not your fault."**_ I said now feeling bad because I should have known that she was going to feel guilty.

"_**I wish things could be different. It's kinda sad to know that all the people I love can't fit in."**_ She said sighing anguished and still looking down. _**"But it's fine, I understand you. He was cruel to you."**_

Man, I couldn't see her like that. I wouldn't want it as well; I'd love to see all the people I love getting along. Maybe I could try to talk to her father, only for her. Yes, she definitely could make me do whatever she wanted; I was going to do everything for her. And I wasn't making this decision because she was pretending to be anguished because of this situation, because she wasn't pretending it. And she was so little and vulnerable... I looked down for a while in silence before I held her hands and I looked at her deeply.

_**"You know, maybe I could try to talk to your father... Who knows what could happen?"**_ I said softly and kindly.

_**"No, Darren. You don't have to do it. I do understand he hurt you too much; in any case, my dad should be the one apologizing."**_ Freckles said shaking her head. Gosh, could she be any sweeter?

_**"I don't think so; I did my part as well. I wasn't the nicest guy with him. Maybe we can do this; maybe after I talk to your father we can stay together again without making up excuses whenever we want to meet." **_I said trying to sound positive for her; because I honestly didn't think that her father would want to see me with her.

_**"You don't have..." **_

_**"Hey, look at me.**_" I said holding her hands with mine, and looking fixedly into her eyes. When she looked up to me, I saw that sad look. _**"I know I don't have to do it, but I want. When I said I was going to do everything for you, I wasn't lying, you know?" **_

_**"You shouldn't say you could do everything for me; because then I'd feel bad because I don't know if I could do everything for you as I'd want, because I'm not that strong sometimes..." **_

_**"Hey, hey. Neither I'm that strong; I'm so weak, you know? We aren't so different. And when I say I'd do everything for you, I'm not expecting anything in return. I'd do it because I really want it."**_ I said looking at her with a warm smile and she was looking at me fixedly.

_**"Why?" **_

That was the time when I was in plight. It was time to decide if I was going to tell her that I was in love with her but I was confused and I wasn't so sure to be in love with her and then I'll have to figure out what was going to happen next; or not, or not admitting her my real feelings to keep being her friend. What should I do, man? I couldn't just tell her I was in love with her, because she was going to freak out and it was probable that she'd want to stay apart from me because evidently she wasn't feeling the same for me. Damn, damn, damn. I needed to answer something quickly because she was still looking at me, expectant to know the answer.

_**"Because I love you."**_ I whispered looking into her eyes nervously. She raised her eyebrows and looked at me in surprise. Damn, apparently she didn't like my answer. _**"Yes, because you're my friend and I love you... like Jen, I'd do everything for Jen too... Yes."**_ I said nervously because now I knew I couldn't tell her I was in love with her. Yes, I chickened out.

_**"You're a good friend, Darren."**_ She said smiling friendly and then she pulled me into a tight hug.

_**"Yeah..."**_ I whispered.

And there I was, hugging tightly the girl I was in love with, pretending to be only her friend. I was such a coward, I didn't know how I was going to manage to be with her and pretend all the time that I only loved her as my friend. And that was making me a liar. But... she was Freckles, and I knew that being away from her was going to be harder than being with her and hold on my real feelings. Fuck, if she only could feel the same for me...

* * *

You let Darren to walk you home; so now the two of you were walking there. He still didn't know where your home was, so you were leading him. You were walking in silence and it was kinda uncomfortable; and this time, he didn't hold your hand to walk. Well, maybe that was the normal thing between friends, but you had to admit that you got used to Darren holding your hand. It was weird what you were feeling; after he told you he loved you, your heart skipped a beat. It was him, the guy you always loved secretly, telling you that he loved you. Come on, of course you'd be happy. But then he mentioned he loved you as a friend, like Jen; and well, then you didn't feel so special. Anyway, he loved you and he was an amazing friend; you couldn't ask for more because, after all, you were still that geek and ugly girl. Or at least that was how you were feeling. However, you were now coming back home and Darren convinced you not to talk about that new thing you found out about W, he convinced you to talk about this the next day.

_**"We'll arrive soon."**_ You finally spoke, breaking the silence. Darren only smiled faintly. He was walking looking down.

Why was he being so quiet? He was used to talk a lot and it was weird to see him like that. Have you done something wrong? Anyway, you kept walking in silence and looking away until you were two blocks away from your home. That was when you took the risk to walk closer to him and to hold his hand. He only glanced furtively at you when you did so, but he intertwined his fingers with yours.

_**"Well, we're here."**_ You said smiling joyfully and Darren only looked at your house in surprise.

_**"Do you live here?"**_ He asked amazed.

_**"Yes, I do."**_ You said smiling kindly.

_**"Whoa! Your house is totally awesome. Man, it's so big and so brand-new! Like... wow."**_ He said still looking at your house amazed and you giggled amused.

_**"Yeah, I know. My mom hired a renowned architect to design it."**_ You said shrugging. _**"Anyway, I prefer yours. It's cozier**_."

_**"You're crazy."**_ Darren said shaking his head and you giggled again. _**"Well, uhm... Do you want me to walk you to the entrance?"**_ He asked awkwardly.

_**"Yes, sure."**_ You answered smiling cheerfully.

Darren walked you to the entrance, still holding hands. Everything was going good until your father came out from the house. He seemed to be upset and you noticed how Darren looked at him terrified and then he looked down. Anyway, he was still holding your hand.

_**"Why were you away from home? What were you doing this late in the night with this kid?"**_ You father asked angrily looking at you. Wow, that was scary.

_**"I'm sorry, dad. I was... I just needed to talk to someone."**_ You said frightened.

You've never seen your father this angry. Maybe this was the way he was looking at Darren that day in hospital. Darren was in silence looking down but still holding your hand. You knew he was scared, so why was he still there? Oh no, no, no. No, he was still there because he promised you to talk to your father for you. No, you couldn't let it happen, not as long as your father was this angry.

_**"Sure, and you had to go to talk to this depraved boy. Get into the house, this boy and I have to talk."**_ Your father said coldly.

_**"I won't get into the house."**_ You suddenly challenged your father. This was the first time you faced him, only for Darren. And it felt good. Both, Darren and your father looked at you in surprise.

_**"Freckles, it's better if you get in. I'll be fine, we're gonna talk as I promised."**_ Darren whispered in your ear as he squeezed your hand.

_**"No, Darren. I'll stay here."**_ You whispered to him. _**"I won't let you alone with my father."**_

_**"I said get into the house and don't you dare to disobey my orders."**_ Your father said strictly.

_**"And I said I won't do it and don't you dare to suppress my freedom of expression."**_ You faced your father coldly again. Wow, you were being like a rebel teen. Again, both your father and Darren looked at you astonished.

_**"What have you done with my daughter, you depraved?"**_ My father asked aggressively looking at Darren. Darren looked at him terrified and he gulped.

_**"Do not call him like that, father."**_ You said coldly and firmly. _**"He's none of that; he's the only boy in school who cares about me; so I won't allow that you treat him like crap. Respect that."**_

_**"Freckles, stop..." **_Darren whispered in your ear, concerned when he noticed the way your father was looking at you.

_**"You're all the time trying to force me to do what you want. When is gonna be the time when you let me do that thing I want to do? If I am mistaken, then let me be wrong, I'll learn from my own mistakes." **_You said distressed looking at your father. _**"But stop managing my life, I'm sick of it, I'm not that perfect daughter you think you have. I'm all the time trying to please you that I forgot to enjoy my own life, my own life is passing by and I'm not living it at all."**_ You said frowning and feeling really anguished while you were realizing all of this. Your father and Darren were looking at you puzzled. _**"And when for the first time I found someone with whom I can start living my life the way I want..." **_You exclaimed exasperated and squeezing Darren's hand. _**"You always find the way to screw it! I don't wanna live your life, because this is my life and I'm the only owner of my life, so I'll do with it whatever I want, father! Let me be!"**_ You exclaimed exaggeratedly but because you were feeling how all the feelings that were repressed were now coming out.

_**"You don't know what you're saying; you're just blinded because of this depraved boy."**_ Your father said indifferent and coldly.

_**"Can't you see it, father? I'm not blinded, I was blinded but now I'm seeing it all; you never wanted me to be truly happy, all this time you wanted me to live your life that you thought it was perfect to me. Guess what? That life sucks for me; that kind of life doesn't fit on me."**_ You said upset and as much as you wanted to control your feelings, you couldn't. _**"And this guy who is next to me? This guy is the only guy who helped me to find my way to be happy by being myself, something that you should have done as my father. So I won't allow you to call him a depraved, because you don't know him, because you judged him for the first time you saw him and you never gave him a chance to prove you the amazing kind of person he is. So, who is the victim and who is the victimizer here?"**_

You were out of control, you knew you were being very ill-mannered and aggressive, you knew you shouldn't be treating your father this way because it was inappropriate; but you couldn't help it, he needed to understand that he must not manage your life as he wanted. And Darren was right, it was a bad idea to have mentioned him if he could talk to your father to solve things. Poor Darren, he knew that something like that could happen and you were so stubborn, but he was going to do it for you anyway; he didn't deserve to be treated like that by your father. Darren, next to you, was looking at you astonished but with a twinkle in his eyes, while your father was looking at you in a rage.

_**"You, Criss... I want you and your ideas away from my daughter. I don't want to see you with her never again."**_ Your father threatened him furious while Darren was looking at your father scared and not knowing what to say and you noticed how he clung to your hand.

_**"I'm sorry father, but you won't keep us away. If you really love me and you want to see me happy, then you'll understand that I'm not walking away from him, because he makes me happy."**_ You said intertwining your arm with Darren's.

_**"Is this what you want, kid? To put my daughter against me? To make her think that I'm a bad father?"**_ Your father asked coldly and furiously.

_**"No...I don't..."**_ Darren started babbling with trembling voice. Gosh, he was really scared.

_**"Stop it, father! He only came here to talk to you and clear up things. He never tried to put me against you, never ever. If I'm saying all of this, it's because I finally opened my eyes and I realized how the whole situation actually is. Darren has nothing to do with what I'm saying now."**_ You said looking at your father coldly. _**"And the only thing I'm asking you is to give him a chance. I'm asking you to let me be happy and I'm gonna be happy if you accept him as my friend."**_

_**"I'd never do it. I know what kind of person this kid here is and I won't let my daughter to be hurt by a criminal."**_ Your father said furious and Darren looked down distressed.

_**"If you don't do it, then I'm really sorry father but I have nothing else to talk to you. I'm really hurt by your decision; I thought you cared about my real happiness." **_You said looking down, feeling very sad._** "I won't walk away from him." **_You said getting closer to Darren, still looking down. _**"You can do whatever you want, but I won't allow you to mess in my life anymore. I'm tired of it."**_

_**"Is that your decision?"**_ Your father asked looking at you rabidly and you only nodded. _**"You have fifteen minutes to pack your personal stuff and leave this house. You're not my daughter, now you are a stranger to me and I won't let strangers to live at my house." **_

You looked up to look at your father terrified and puzzled. Has your father thrown you out your house? Was he really saying it? Darren was also looking at your father astonished, raising his eyebrows. You couldn't help it but shed tears in sadness, you just couldn't believe it. Yes, your father was a severe person, but you never thought he could do something like that. Darren noticed you were sobbing, so he squeezed your hand reassuringly but it didn't work to you.

_**"What?"**_ You asked in disbelief and with choked voice.

_**"You heard me. From now on, you don't belong to this family therefore this isn't your house any longer." **_Your father said rudely, avoiding your teary eyes. _**"You have fifteen minutes."**_ He said before turning around and you just broke down.

_**"Hold on, sir!"**_ Darren finally exclaimed. He seemed to be exasperated. Your father turned around to look at Darren. _**"This is my fault..."**_ Darren started saying and you looked at him frowning and confused. Why was he saying that? This wasn't his fault at all. _**"I forced her to say all of that; I wanted her to be against to you. This isn't her fault, so don't do this to her. I'll walk away from her, but don't throw her out the house."**_

_**"What? No, Darren. This is not your..."**_ You started saying because this wasn't like this, and he shouldn't blame himself for this only to make your father change his mind. You couldn't allow it.

_**"Freckles, don't say anything, I know what I'm doing. I wouldn't forgive myself if your father does this because of me. This is the best." **_Darren whispered looking into your eyes distressed.

_**"No..."**_ You whispered shaking your head. No, he couldn't do that.

"_**Are you admitting that you made my daughter to be this ill-mannered?"**_ Your father asked looking at Darren fixedly.

_**"Yes, sir."**_ Darren answered looking down.

_**"Are you admitting that you're a bad influence to my daughter?"**_

_**"Yes, sir."**_

_**"So... Are you admitting that you're a depraved and scoundrel boy?" **_Your father asked coldly and you looked at him disgusted.

_**"Yes..."**_ Darren answered anguished and still looking down.

_**"Good..."**_

_**"No!"**_ You finally exploded in anger. _**"He's none of that! Can't you see that, father? He's only doing this because he cares about me and he doesn't want you to be that rude and heartless father to me! You are the one who is a scoundrel person, father!" **_

_**"Freckles!"**_ Darren exclaimed in disbelief, nervous.

_**"No, Darren! I won't let this to happen! I won't let him to treat you as crap because he cannot deal with the fact that finally I stood up for something in my life that I truly want, so the easiest thing to do for him is to kick me out! Because he wants always to control everything and he can't do it with me any longer. No, no, I won't let him to screw the only real thing I have that is your friendship. Not anymore." **_You said furious and sorrowful at the same time.

_**"Don't do that, Freckles..."**_ Darren begged afflicted but you didn't listen to him.

_**"I'll leave this house because I can't call it home any longer."**_ You said coldly trying to sound determined and strong, but you were dying inside.

_**"Fifteen minutes."**_ You father said indifferent and rudely. Darren, next to you, looked at him in a rage.

_**"What kind of father are you? How could you kick out your own daughter? How? Do you have any kindness in your heart at all? Can't you see that you're hurting your own daughter? Don't you understand that she only needs her father to support her? How can you think about yourself first before thinking of your daughter?"**_ Darren asked really furious and you held Darren's hand to calm him down.

_**"You won't tell me what I have to do as her father, Criss."**_ Your father said archly and then he looked at you. _**"Get out of here; I don't wanna see you when I wake up."**_

Those were his last words before he got into the house without looking behind. When you father disappeared, you broke into tears. This was the worst thing that someone could have done to you. You were now homeless and now you didn't have a family; you have lost it all. You sat on the floor slowly and you started crying your heart out. It was as if there was a hole in your heart now and nothing would fill it again. Everybody was used to say that the worst thing was the loss of a relative; but the worst thing was actually to lose a relative while was still alive. What could stop now the pain you were feeling? Darren kneeled next to you and he held you in his arms tightly, rubbing your back and caressing your hair reassuringly but it wasn't working.

_**"Everything is going to be alright, my little Freckles, everything is going to be alright."**_ Darren whispered sweetly, kissing your forehead and still holding you in his arms.

You wanted to think that, but you knew that it wasn't going to get better; you knew that it wasn't to be alright. You knew your father pretty well and you knew he was the most prideful person on earth, you knew he wouldn't forgive you; you knew that he wasn't going to understand you.

_**"You can stay at my home as long as you want, you're welcome there. You can stay there until everything clears up."**_ Darren whispered again sweetly and you couldn't talk because you couldn't stop crying. _**"You'll see that things will clear up soon."**_

You wanted to thank him, but you couldn't; anyway, he understood you somehow. You didn't talk when he helped you to pack your personal stuff, he respected the fact you couldn't talk. And you couldn't pack your stuff without crying and trembling, so he did it for you in silence while you lay down in your bed for the last time. You noticed how he glanced at you sadly several times, but you didn't have the strength to pretend you were fine. Before leaving your bedroom, you looked at your bedroom with sadness and melancholia; you looked at it and you shed more tears. Darren noticed this, so he wrapped his free arm to hug you as you rested your head on his chest. The worst feeling was when you closed your front door, when you realized that you were in fact kicked out from your own house, when you realized that now you didn't have a place to call home.

* * *

_**"Morning."**_ I greeted yawning when I woke up next day.

It was Saturday morning about 10am, the day when my family was used to wake up late because it was weekend. I was wearing gray sweatpants and a loose white tee of Roger Rabbit, everything as usual. But there was something that wasn't usual: When I entered the kitchen to have the usual breakfast of Saturday morning with my family, I noticed there was not the usual breakfast and my family was looking at me serious. Why were they looking at me that way? Why wasn't there the usual breakfast? The table was full of cupcakes, waffles, French toasts and hot cakes; there were also coffee, cereals with milk and fresh squeezed orange juice. Since when my mom was up to make this kind of breakfast on Saturday morning? I sat on the table suspiciously because they were still looking at me serious and I tried to break the tense situation with a lame, very lame joke.

_**"Were you inspired this morning, mom?"**_ I said laughing like an idiot. She only looked at me severely.

_**"No, I woke up and I found this..." **_My mom said pointing the table. She and my dad were still looking at me severely while Chuck started eating wantonly one of the cupcakes.

_**"Oh boy! This is delicious!"**_ Chuck exclaimed in pleasure with his mouth full of cupcakes.

_**"Charles, I'm trying to talk to your brother. Please, behave and do not talk with your mouth full of food."**_ My mom said strictly and Chuck kept eating those cupcakes. I needed to taste one now. I grabbed one but my mom stopped me.

_**"What, mom? I'm hungry!"**_ I exclaimed bad tempered and frowning.

_**"I want you to come with me." **_My mom said roundly.

_**"Later, mom! Now I want to have breakfast, I'm hungry!"**_ I complained.

_**"I said now, Everett!"**_ My mom said firmly.

_**"Oh man! What the hell have I done now?" **_I asked in disbelief and grumpy. She seemed to be mad at me and I did nothing this time.

_**"Someone is in troubles!"**_ Chuck mocked amused while still eating a cupcake and I glanced at him archly.

_**"Come with me, Everett."**_ My mom said again firmly.

_**"Fine, fine!"**_ I complained surly, hiding covertly a cupcake in my pocket before I followed my mom to the living room.

_**"Do you remember what I told you when you messed the living room after you spent hours playing to that thing you have...?"**_ My mom started scolding me when we were already in the living room alone.

_**"Play Station, mom."**_ I huffed because I remembered perfectly what she told me to do and I never did. _**"Yes, that I had to clean the living room and you didn't want to see any popcorn on the floor. I know, I know! I just didn't have time to clean it!"**_

_**"Have you looked around?"**_ My mom asked and so then I looked around. Everything was clean now and I felt bad, because this was making things worse between me and my mom.

_**"You didn't have to clean it! I told you I was going to clean it, mom! I was going to do so today."**_ I said feeling guilty.

_**"I didn't clean it."**_ My mom said serious and I looked at her bewildered; there was no way that my dad or Chuck cleaned that for me. _**"I found this note today, on the table."**_

I grabbed the note that my mom was handing me and I looked at it in suspicion, before reading it.

**"This is my way to thank you for receiving me in your home. I noticed you were sleeping so I took advantage to go to the grocery and bought some stuff to make breakfast. And I also took the boldness to clean the living room to show my gratitude. I hope you don't mind, I'll try to make my presence here as unnoticeable as I can. Thank you a lot for everything. Freckles."**

Why was she doing this? I didn't want to think that she was thinking this was her duty because I offered her to stay here. She didn't have to do this, is what any friend would have done. Where was she anyway? She wasn't in the kitchen having breakfast with my family. How could she be feeling today? Last night she was broken and she barely wanted to talk. I looked up to my mom who was looking at me fixedly.

_**"Can you explain me what is happening, Everett?"**_ My mom asked severely and I didn't know where to start.

_**"Well...Uhm... She's gonna stay here for a few days, or weeks, or months, I don't know."**_ I answered awkwardly.

I knew that I should have asked her first if Freckles could stay home until things get better; but I couldn't leave Freckles homeless last night. When I remembered all her father told her, I started feeling really upset. That man was a dick.

_**"What do you mean? I don't remember to have authorized you to do such a thing." **_My mom said in disbelief and upset.

_**"I know and I'm sorry mom... But..." **_

_**"But nothing, Darren. We both know that her father didn't want you to hang out with her. Do I have to remind you how bad-mannered you were that day in hospital?" **_My mom asked severely and I looked down.

_**"Mom, her father kicked her out the house last night. I couldn't just leave her there, homeless."**_ I said anguished, still looking down.

_**"What did you say?"**_ My mom asked now concerned.

_**"She and her father had a dispute last night and he was so rude and harsh on her. He said terrible things only because... because she was telling her father that she... well, that she wanted to live her life her own way not the way her father wanted. And well, he kicked her out, it was so heartless."**_ I said anguished and upset when I remembered it. _**"And I told her she could stay home as long as she wanted, until things with her father get better. Mom... she's my friend, I couldn't leave her there alone."**_

_**"It's fine. But Darren... Do you have something to do with this dispute?" **_

_**"No!"**_ I exclaimed quickly, frowning; but then I looked down. _**"Maybe a little."**_

_**"Oh for god sake, Darren! What have you done now?"**_ My mom sighed as if she was tired of me and that made me feel bad.

_**"Why do you always think that I'm all the time doing the wrong thing, mom? Why do you think always that I'm the guilty one; the one who is all the time screwing everything?"**_ I finally asked distressed. It was time to talk to her. _**"I'm only trying to do the right thing; and yeah, sometimes I make mistakes. But I don't have bad intentions; I was only trying to help her and all I get always is to be blamed for everything. And it hurts me to see how disappointed of me you are all the time; because I always try to make you feel proud of me, but it seems that you're ashamed of me and it makes me feel terrible, mom. And I just... I just don't know what to do!" **_I said with tears in my eyes now.

_**"No, Darren..."**_ My mom said sweetly and she hugged me, while I snuggled up to her still sobbing. _**"You never disappointed me; you make me feel the proudest mother with your kindness and warm heart."**_ She said fondly caressing my curls while I was still snuggled up to her as if I were a little boy. _**"I'm sorry if I ever made you feel like that; it's that I have to scold you sometimes when you make mistakes because that's my duty as your mother; but it isn't because you disappointed me, it's because I'm trying to accompany you in the hard decisions in life, I'm trying to teach you what took me years to understand." **_She said now kissing my forehead and then she looked at me. _**"You're gonna always make me feel proud in whatever you decide to do; and if you ever see me altered and distressed it's only because I'm seeing how my little boy is growing up and because I realize you're not a kid, you're a man now and I realize that soon you'll go your own way when you start university and I won't be able to be with my boy all the time as now."**_ My mom said now with choked voice and teary eyes. I couldn't help it but shed more tears, this time those were tears of thrill.

_**"Mommy, I'd never walk away from you. I'll always be your little boy, even if I'm not a kid anymore." **_I said feeling very thrilled because finally I knew the reasons why my mom was acting weird with me. _**"And I'd never forget you; the fact that I'm going to start university doesn't mean that I won't see you often. Yes, I may be away, but I'll come here often, only to see you."**_ I said with choked voice while I was seeing my mom crying. I couldn't stand it, so I just hugged her tightly. _**"I love you, mom." **_

_**"I love you too, my little boy."**_ She said caressing my hair. _**"And I'm proud of you, son. Remember it always."**_

I spent almost the whole morning with my mom, telling her what happened between her and her father. She seemed to be very concerned about Freckles and she felt bad for her, she couldn't believe what her father has done. She said that maybe we should go and talk to her father, because maybe he said it all because he was upset in the moment; but I convinced her that it wasn't a good idea considering how arrogant her father was. Of course my mom agreed to accommodate Freckles in our house and she said that Freckles could stay all the time she needed to stay here. I thought that no one could be more warmhearted than my mom, she was amazing. The rest of the morning I called Jen and I told her all that happened, since we met in the Golden Gate Bridge until her father kicked her out. She was really worried and said she was going to try to come over here in the afternoon to see how Freckles was doing after this all. So now it was noon and we were about to have lunch, but Freckles wasn't here yet. Where could she be? I was kinda worried, because she didn't even reply my text messages and when I called her, her phone was off.

_**"I don't know where she could be. I've been calling her and she wouldn't answer me."**_ I said concerned while my mom was cooking and my dad was reading the newspaper.

_**"Maybe she needed to go for a walk, son."**_ My dad said quietly.

_**"Yeah... I don't know..."**_ I said still worried. She would let me know if she was doing so. I was worried because of W. What if W has done something to her? _**"I'll look for her." **_

_**"But Darren, lunch is almost ready!"**_ My mom said while I was grabbing my hoodie.

_**"I know, mom! I'll try to be fast. I need to know where she is!"**_ I exclaimed and I left my home quickly before my mom could say me something.

Now that I was outside, I had no idea where to start to find her. At first I thought about Marin Headlands, but then I thought that it was a remote possibility considering that she knew that W knew about that place and surely she wanted to be alone right now. Then I thought about the Golden Gate Bridge, but she surely wasn't there because it was Saturday and it was full of cyclists. Where the hell could she be? I thought about another place she liked, but I couldn't remember. Good, and now? I tried to call her again, but over again her phone was off.

_**"Think, Darren, think! Where would she go if she wants to be alone?"**_ I thought loudly._** "It's San Francisco, Saturday, and she surely is in an empty place..."**_ I tried to think harder. _**"She likes flowers...Could she be in the Japanese Tea Garden in Golden Gate Park? Maybe she's there."**_

I started walking over there, even though I didn't think she was there; but I didn't know where else could find her. When I was on my way I passed by a square near my house and I stopped abruptly. There she was, sitting on the grass against a tree, alone. I started walking to her but when I was getting closer, something stopped me. She wasn't alone, she was talking to someone I couldn't see. I don't know why but I hid behind a tree near her to see with whom she was talking. There was no one. Was she talking to herself? I got even closer, still hiding behind trees to hear what she was talking about. Then I was the close enough to realize she wasn't talking, she was singing.

_**"The love between the two of us was dying, and it got so bad I knew I had to leave..."**_ She was singing with her sweet voice but still out of tune. Anyway, I loved it.

I was about to walk to her because I knew what kind of song that was and she was singing it because of her father. Obviously, she was still feeling really sorrowful. But then, something stopped me and I hid behind the tree again quickly.

_**"Here it is; two sodas for us."**_ I heard a man's voice.

Was it Chuck? What the fuck was doing Chuck with her? I spied them. Freckles smiled at him brightly and then Chuck sat next to her. Hey, they were really close. Why was Chuck doing that? Why was Chuck close to her? Could be Chuck flirting with her? Man, I felt so fucking jealous, of my very own brother! What I wanted to do was to walk to them and take Freckles with me; but what I did was to be there, hiding behind the tree and looking at them on the sly. Chuck wouldn't flirt with her; no, he wouldn't do something like that to me. But then I thought that no one knew that I was in love with Freckles, no one except Jen; so he was free to flirt with her, because Chuck thought she was only my friend. This couldn't be happening; my own brother couldn't flirt with the girl I was in love secretly.

_**"Why, Chuck?"**_ I asked to myself, feeling jealous and anguished.

_**"Darren?"**_ I heard another voice asking loudly. _**"What are you doing there, hiding behind a tree?"**_

Oh damn shit! That was so inopportune! I felt how I started blushing hard when Chuck and Freckles turned around when they heard that voice. Yes, obviously they saw me there, hiding behind the tree like the biggest asshole. I really needed to disappear.

_**"Eat me, earth!"**_ I exclaimed in a whisper, feeling completely ashamed. _**"I'm not hiding, mom."**_

_**"Oh look, Darren! You've found your friend. See? She's over there with Chuck!"**_ My mom exclaimed loudly again, pointing to them. Oh dammit, I needed to stop her. This was so embarrassing.

_**"I know, mom, I know."**_ I said moody, trying to get away from there. Chuck and Freckles now stood up.

_**"Have you been spying them, Darren?"**_ My mom asked. Why the hell did she have to say all those things that were making things worse? Mothers and their lack of common sense.

_**"No, mom!"**_ I exclaimed even more irritated.

_**"So why were you hiding behind the tree?" **_

_**"I... I wasn't hiding, for fuck's sake!"**_ I exclaimed altered, blushing so hard.

_**"Hi, little bro. Seems that you've eaten a chili."**_ Chuck mocked, making fun of me.

_**"Shut up."**_ I said harshly and grumpily.

_**"Whoa! Why so serious?"**_ Chuck mocked again amused.

I wasn't in mood to answer him, so I just looked away. I really didn't want to see Freckles's face. What would she be thinking? She totally found out that I was spying her. She surely was thinking that I was a stalker or a jerk. Man, she couldn't find the reason why I was spying her; she couldn't find out that I was feeling kinda jealous. Shit, why did I have to spy her? Anyway, why was my mom there? If it wasn't because of her, Freckles would have never noticed I was there. I was the most unlucky guy on earth.

_**"Stop, boys."**_ My mom said firmly when she noticed how furious I was looking at Chuck. _**"Lunch is ready, so better if you hurry up." **_

_**"What's for lunch?"**_ Chuck asked walking to my mom and I just stood there where I was.

_**"Lasagna."**_ My mom answered.

_**"Oh my God! Lasagna is my favorite food!"**_ Freckles suddenly exclaimed excited and everybody looked at her.

_**"Well, there's another thing we share." **_Chuck said smiling at Freckles and she smiled back to him. Man, I needed to stop feeling jealous; but I really thought Chuck was flirting with her. _**"It's fantastic, mom."**_

My mom smiled cheerfully and then she started walking home, followed by Chuck and Freckles. I only stood there because I was feeling very embarrassed to walk with them. I observed while they all were walking and laughing joyfully. Freckles seemed to be happy, very different than last night. And she looked happier when she was with Chuck than when she was with me. Could she like my brother? What if she was also flirting with my bother? What if she preferred him over me? Maybe that was why Freckles never mentioned the times I kissed her, because she wasn't interested on me. Well, it made me feel very anguished. I knew I should be glad because she was smiling and she seemed to be happy, but I couldn't. Was I that selfish?

_**"Hey Darren! Aren't you coming?"**_ I heard Freckles's voice yelling in the distance and I shivered because I wasn't expecting that.

_**"In a minute."**_ I yelled still from the tree and I looked down because I couldn't stop feeling ashamed.

_**"Are you alright?"**_ I heard Freckle's voice again, this time next to me. When did she get close to me? I didn't notice it.

_**"Yes, I'm fine."**_ I answered looking away. I couldn't look into her eyes, I don't know why. What before seemed to be an easy thing, now it was so hard. _**"And you? How are you feeling today?"**_

_**"I'm much better today, thanks."**_ She answered smiling kindly.

_**"I tried to call you all day long, but you wouldn't answer." **_I said still looking away. _**"I was worried, you know..."**_

_**"I'm so sorry; I just wanted to be alone. You know... I needed to think. I'm sorry, it won't happen again." **_She said apologetically.

_**"Yeah, it's fine."**_ I answered faintly, now looking at my shoes. I needed to focus my sight in another point that wasn't her eyes. _**"But you weren't alone... you were talking to Chuck..." **_What was wrong with me? Why did I seem to be reproaching her something? Not that she had to explain me whatever she was doing because we weren't anything but friends.

_**"So you're admitting that you were spying us." **_She said kinda amused and I got nervous and I felt how I started blushing again.

_**"No, I wasn't... No."**_ I answered nervously and she chuckled softly.

_**"That's fine, you know?"**_ She said amused and then I couldn't help it but looking at her. She was smiling widely and her eyes were very brightly. Maybe she wasn't the prettiest girl, but she was so fucking pretty to me and more when her eyes were so bright like this.

_**"Yeah... well, it wasn't my intention. I was just looking for you and when I started walking to you..."**_ I started explaining, babbling like a retarded.

_**"You don't have to explain me, Dar." **_She said smiling sweetly.

_**"I love it, when you call me Dar. I don't know, I just love it."**_ I said without realizing I was saying it loudly. Oh geez, today I was acting like a dumb.

_**"Well, then I found a new way to call you."**_ She said giggling lively. _**"Come on, let's go have lunch."**_ She said intertwining her arm with mine. Oh yeah, this was feeling better. I loved to walk with Freckles like this. If I only could be with her like this always... Dang! I needed to stop thinking about things like these.

_**"So..."**_ I said while we were walking like this through the desert neighborhood, going home._** "It seems you're getting along with my bro."**_

_**"Oh yes!"**_ She exclaimed cheerfully. _**"He's awesome! I'm really happy to have met him a bit more. We share a lot of things, it's amazing! He made me feel very comfortable and I don't know... He is very kind."**_

_**"Oh, I see..."**_

I felt that demon again called jealousy for her and my brother. I couldn't stand that feeling and I couldn't avoid being needlessly unkind with her now. She wasn't the one to blame, but what could I do? It's not that I chose to feel like this. I couldn't believe I was feeling jealousy for them. I only wanted her to be with me, I wanted her to be mine. How could I be such a selfish guy? I needed to admit her all my real feelings, but I knew that I was never going to do so because she made it clear that she wanted to be only my friend, otherwise she would have mentioned the kiss or something. While we were still walking, I glanced at her on the sly... Oh Freckles, if you only knew how I'm feeling about you... Why don't you want the way I feel for you?


	16. Yes, I'm in love

A/N: Hello guys! How are you all? I want to thank you all for your support as always, I read so many nice things so thank you! :) Also, this time, I want to give you a link... it's a community that I created, I collected some fanfics of different authors about Darren/You, so if you want to read more stories like that, you'll be able to do that! I'm sure those authors (I'm just guessing because I actually don't know them) would like if you can read it and, after all, those are Darren's stories and I guess that's awesome! So, if you want to read, here's the link: community/Darren-Criss-fanfics/101991/

Enjoy! :) Okay, that's all! Now I'll let you read this new chapter, hope you like it! Have a good day and until next Saturday, guys! :)

* * *

**Teenage Dream – Part 16 – Yes, I'm in love.**

* * *

_**"Hey, what are you doing here alone?"**_ Someone asked when you were in the square near Darren's house. You looked up to find his brother Chuck there.

_**"I just wanted to get some fresh air."**_ You answered smiling faintly and a bit uncomfortable, you really wanted to be alone; you were still feeling terrible for what your dad has done.

_**"Makes sense. Do you mind if I join you?" **_Chuck asked pointing a place next to you. You only shook your head in response, so he sat next to you on the grass. _**"I wanted to thank you for the breakfast. Do you have any idea when was the last time that I've had a breakfast like that? Not that I'm complaining about my mom's breakfasts, but those are so healthy and boring and yours was just so delicious! Good way to start the day."**_

Oh god, Chuck talked just as fast as Darren and it seemed he also was that kind of guy who talked a lot. Maybe it was a family thing. It was funny because Darren and Chuck were so similar but different at the same time. Chuck seemed to be calmer and ease, while Darren was very expressive, sometimes exaggerated, and he was kinda hyperkinetic. You looked at Chuck and you smiled trying to be polite, even though you weren't in mood to talk to someone.

_**"Well, I needed to do something to thank you all for welcoming me in your home. Not everybody would do what you all did."**_ You said shrugging and very thankful.

_**"Yeah, I heard my mom and Darren talking earlier. Apparently you're gonna stay at our home for a while." **_Chuck said frowning and you felt really ashamed. Did it mean that Darren hasn't told his parents last night that you were going to stay at their house?

_**"Wait... Hasn't Darren told...? Oh gosh. Yeah, that was the idea but apparently... Oh god, you didn't know about this. I feel so ashamed. I didn't want... I mean... Damn." **_You rambled feeling very embarrassed and confused. Chuck only giggled softly.

_**"I know what you may be thinking... Let me tell you that you're more than welcome in our home and more if you keep making breakfasts like this."**_ Chuck said looking at you amused but smiling friendly. _**"May I ask you why you're going to stay here? Of course, if you don't mind telling me."**_

_**"No, actually I think you all must know, I mean... I'm a stranger staying at your home, so it's my duty to let you know..." **_

_**"Hold on, wait a minute."**_ Chuck interrupted you abruptly and you looked at him frowning. _**"First of all, you aren't a stranger. You're my bro's friend and trust me, we know a lot about you; Darren wouldn't stop talking about you. And secondly, I don't want you to feel forced to tell me why you're gonna stay; it's not your duty. If you're gonna stay here, it must be for a good reason otherwise Darren wouldn't have looked worried this morning while talking to my mom. If you're going to tell me it must be because you want to, not because you think it's your duty. If you feel forced, then I don't have to know why you're here."**_ Chuck said again talking very fast as Darren.

_**"I... well..."**_ You started babbling because you weren't expecting something like this. Should you tell him why you were going to stay there? Well, you were still thinking it was your duty.

_**"I'm making you uncomfortable, aren't I?"**_ Chuck asked looking at you, but he wasn't upset, it was more as if he could understand you.

_**"No! No, you aren't... No..."**_ You exclaimed quickly feeling really guilty. _**"No, it's just... I don't want to bug you with my problems." **_

_**"You won't bug me. We all need sometimes someone to talk to... I don't know why you think that telling your problems to someone is wrong, actually it's the opposite. Not only is good for you, but also for the one you're telling your problems. It's like a vote of confidence that you place in the other person."**_ Chuck said quietly and shrugging while you looked at him amazed, he had a point there, a point of view you've never seen before. _**"I do understand if you don't want to tell me, I know we aren't so close, so you may feel uncomfortable and it's perfectly understandable." **_He said kindly looking into your eyes._** "And I won't get mad if you don't tell me... But I'll get mad if you steal my chewing gums."**_ He joked and you chuckled softly. Well, he had the same sense of humor than Darren.

_**"And if I tell you... Would you give me one of your chewing gums? Now I'm intrigued to know how those taste." **_You continued with the joke and Chuck laughed. He had almost the same laughter than Darren; and his eyes were very bright when he laughed, just like Darren. Yes, they were definitely brothers.

_**"Maybe... I don't know... I'll have to think about it."**_ He said amused and then he stared at you with a warm smile. Was that also a family thing, to be adorable? _**"Well, I'll do it only because you're my bro's friend and judging but what he said about you, you are a cool person." **_

_**"Well, okay. What exactly has Darren told you about me?"**_ You asked curiously. So Darren was used to talk about you, Chuck was assuring this.

_**"Oh boy! A lot of things! I wouldn't be able to tell you all the things he says because we'd spend all day long talking about this. Let's say that all he said about you are nice things and it seems he really loves you, just as Jen. I don't know what you did with my bro, but it definitely is a good thing."**_ Chuck said looking at the grass and smiling joyfully. _**"You know... Darren... Darren is a special person, you surely know it." **_Chuck said almost in a whisper still looking at the grass while you were looking at him confused. What was he trying to say? You didn't say anything at all. _**"He's a really good person, always taking care of those he loves; but he always had this kind of problem, that he can break so easily when someone hurts him, because he cannot understand it, he never could because of his own kindness. The few last years he changed it when he met Jen, his self-confidence grew and he got stronger. But when he met you..." **_

_**"I screwed what he had got?"**_ You asked really confused and frowning and Chuck looked up to you.

_**"No, it's the opposite." **_Chuck said quickly, shaking his head. _**"He got with Jen all the confidence he needed, but there was something missing; something that you filled when you appeared. Everybody at home noticed it; now he was like... I don't know, happier. He was now confident and strong, and he had his sense of humor and all you know about him; but he didn't have that excitement that everybody has when you have actually something interesting to do in a random day. And you should see his face whenever he talks about you... it's so funny. It's like you've changed him for good and I don't know how you did it in a couple of months what we have tried to do for years. And it's amazing."**_ Chuck said smiling gladly. _**"And we noticed his sudden change of mood when you and he were apart for a while. He was all the time so sullen and forlorn and we were worried he could come back to be the way he was used to be when he was at elementary school. And now that you're back, the change is noticeable. You make him be happy, like... I don't know how to explain it, like; you keep him in balance; so you definitely must be a special person as he always says. It'd be sad if you grow apart again; I know it'll hurt him so much even though he would insist he's fine."**_ Chuck said deep in thought. Why was he telling you all of this? It was like very private; but you were glad to have heard that; you were thrilled.

_**"Wow. I didn't know he... I'd have never imagined that I could have that effect on someone. I really didn't know..." **_You spluttered still thrilled and amazed. _**"I'm no one special, trust me. I'm more like this troublesome and geek girl that nobody wants to be around. I'm only a weirdo and people made it clear, everybody knows it." **_

_**"You know, most of people think that being a weirdo it's something bad, something wrong because it's not what we're used to see normally and we think that what it isn't normal is bad, because it's against all we learned as the usual settled parameters of life." **_Chuck said almost philosophically and you were listening to him very intently. _**"What we haven't learned is that normal isn't always right. We were taught under the precepts of what our ancestors thought it was right. And maybe it was right, but now those precepts are un-contextualized from the era in which we live now. Society and its way of interacting with others has changed, so as its behavior patterns; so we cannot be stuck in what our parents had taught us, because it doesn't work in this society any longer."**_ Chuck said as if he was an adult or a teacher, he sounded really firm and determined that it amazed you; but you were still confused. _**"What I'm trying to say here is that being a weirdo is a cool thing, because it means that you're searching for your own way to live life, and you aren't stuck on those patterns that don't fit here any longer. Being a weirdo is cool because it means you don't want to be one else in this mass society and consumer society; you want to be different, you want to be considered as the way you really are with your own personality, and not as another depersonalized human being. To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment. So that's why being a weirdo is cool, because it makes you different and what makes you different is what makes you special. So there you have your answer... Darren said you were special and cool and I can assure it."**_

Oh wow, such a meditation and deliberation about life. You've never seen things like that and it had so much sense when Chuck said it all. How come you've never considered this different point of view? You thought that you were so used to think that what you were doing was wrong because nobody could accept it, that you never thought that maybe it wasn't that you were wrong, it was only that they couldn't get it because they weren't used at that. You were so focused on what people said about you, that you thought that you were as they thought you were, and not as you really were; you were so used to hear that being a weirdo was wrong that it convinced you instead thinking that it could be the only thing which would help you to be different from others and reach that thing you wanted for life. And then it came Chuck with his way of thinking about life and it changed your point of view; as if you were blinded all this time and suddenly you took off the bandage from your eyes, giving you a whole new perspective of life. You were so puzzled that you barely could talk. Wow, Chuck was really impressive.

_**"Geez! This is what I call to be flabbergasted. You're a fucking genius."**_ You said with eyes wide open and still amazed. Chuck, next to you, laughed.

_**"Thanks for the compliment. But I'm not a genius; I'm just used to ponder a lot in my free time."**_ He said still laughing. _**"I don't know... It's like I'm always wondering... And why things have to be like this if it could be another way? Like, there must be something else, deeper, that explains those complicated things in life that we cannot understand. Like, I'm never satisfied by knowing only one point of view about things. And when you start wondering things like these is when your prospect is extended, considering possibilities never before considered."**_ Chuck said shrugging. _**"Not for nothing we have the ability to be thinking beings, not for nothing we have a restless mind. We're only afraid of what we could find because it could change everything we thought it was a fact. When you lose that fear, then you'll be amazed on how different things can be and how great it is." **_

_**"Oh my God. I've learned with you and this little talk all that I haven't learned in all my years of life."**_ You said astonished and very thoughtful now.

_**"Hope is a good thing."**_ He said looking into your eyes amused.

_**"It is."**_ You said nodding and smiling at him.

Chuck and you kept exchanging point of views about a lot of things and what it seemed that it was going to be a tough and sad day, it turned to be a good day and you almost forgot about the way your father kicked you out; and all thanks to Chuck. You finally had the chance to know him more and he was an amazing person. You kept finding more similarities between him and Darren, as some facial expressions and way to talk. After a while you finally explained him why you were going to stay at his home and he was very supportive to you. He was just as warm-hearted as Darren was and he made you feel very comfortable. You thought that you were very lucky to have met the Criss family, it was a real and solid family, all of them very nice. They were the ones who made you feel good by being yourself; they were the ones who taught you that being yourself is the real way to find happiness. Now that you were with them, you didn't want to let them go. And Chuck… Chuck was so like Darren…

_**"Darren?"**_ You heard suddenly a woman's voice yelling. _**"What are you doing there, hiding behind a tree?"**_

Both Chuck and you turned around to look in the direction right where the voice came from. There you could see a part of Darren's arm. Was then he spying you and Chuck? Why? Why wouldn't he walk to you and join you? When you and Chuck walked to him, you could notice he was blushing, well, it was more than obvious 'cause he was red. Darren like that resembled you to a little kid, very shy and it was funny. When you headed to Darren's house to have lunch, you realized that Darren didn't move, so you walked to him again.

_**"So...It seems you're getting along with my bro." **_Darren said at one point looking down when you were walking to his house.

_**"Oh yes!"**_ You exclaimed happily when you remembered your conversation with Chuck. _**"He's awesome! I'm really happy to have met him a bit more. We share a lot of things, it's amazing! He made me feel very comfortable and I don't know... He is very kind."**_

_**"Oh, I see..."**_ Darren said serious and frowning.

Why would he answer like that? He was acting very weird since you walked to him. Maybe he didn't like the idea of you getting along with his brother, maybe he didn't want you to relate with his family. What if you were doing the wrong thing? What if he was thinking that you were a meddlesome? What if he was thinking you were taking advantages you shouldn't take? Well, you felt kinda bad when you thought about this. You couldn't understand why Darren was being like that and you didn't dare to ask, so you preferred to be quiet and try to figure it out with time.

* * *

_**"I'll open the door, it must be Jen."**_ I said standing up when I heard the doorbell.

I was on my garden with Chuck and Freckles while my mom was baking a cake and my dad was reading a book in the kitchen to be with my mom. I was glad that the doorbell rang because I couldn't be there alone with Freckles and Chuck anymore. They were playing chess, and talking and laughing and all, and I was there as if I was invisible. When I offered her to stay here, I wasn't expecting this at all. Yes, I loved the idea of her getting along with my family, but she was getting along with Chuck way too much, more than I liked. When she accepted to stay at my home, I imagined spending with her long nights of talks and laughs, I imagined being closer to her, I imagined that I was going to get the chance to stay together more time; but now it seemed that she was living here but I couldn't be as close as her as when we lived in different places. And now... now that I said that I was going to open the door, neither Freckles nor Chuck listened to me, they only kept laughing at some stupid joke. When I stood up they didn't even notice I was leaving. I opened the door and I saw Jen there, smiling happily next to a four years old little boy, her cousin.

_**"Hi Dare!" **_Jen smiled cheerfully and I smiled back at her faintly.

_**"Hi Jen."**_ I greeted and then I crouched down to greet her little cousin. _**"Hi, little buddy. How are you doing?" **_I said knocking fists together, giving him a dap.

_**"I'm great!"**_ He exclaimed excited and jumping and it made me smile widely. He surely was the cutest boy. _**"Look what I've got! A ball of He-Man!"**_

_**"Oh dude! That's freaking awesome! Now you're gonna be able to defeat the evil forces of Skeletor. Maybe if we play with it, we're gonna be able to defend the realm of Eternia and the secrets of Castle Grayskull."**_ I said in a whisper as if it was a secret, to make him even more excited and it worked. That it was what I loved about kids, they could be so happy and excited even for the smallest things.

_**"Yes!"**_ He exclaimed jumping in excitement and I couldn't help it but giggle. _**"We'll have a superhuman strength!"**_

_**"By the Power of Grayskull!"**_ I exclaimed out loud as a warrior. I loved playing with him.

_**"I have the power!"**_ He exclaimed just as loud, like a hero.

_**"Yaaaaay!"**_ I cheered.

_**"Oh my God."**_ Jen suddenly exclaimed. _**"Darren, you're such a nerd. I can't believe this; I can't believe that you know about He-Man."**_ She said frowning and shaking her head and I laughed.

_**"Hey, it's He-Man! He's pretty awesome, you know."**_ I said still laughing. _**"Come on, let's go to the garden so we can play ball."**_

_**"It's more than obvious that I'm not playing."**_ Jen said serious.

_**"We'll see that..."**_ I said amused looking at her.

When we got into the house, Joe, Jen's cousin, ran to the garden excited and Jen and I laughed. I was also heading to the garden but Jen stopped me and she looked around before looking at me.

_**"I'm sorry, I had to bring Joe with me because, you know... My aunt was going to..." **_

_**"Jenny, it's alright. It's amazing that Joe is here, I missed that little thing."**_ I interrupted Jen and I smiled.

_**"Thank you a lot, Dare."**_ She said thankfully smiling. _**"So... How is Freckles doing? You know, about that she regained memory and her father... you know..."**_

_**"Oh..."**_ I said now looking down as my smile vanished. _**"She's doing better than I thought."**_

_**"What do you mean? Isn't she sad or something? You know, it's normal and after all the things that happened to her..." **_

_**"Oh trust me; she seems to be better than ever."**_ I said kinda bitterly. I shouldn't be feeling like this. What was wrong with me? I should feel happy for her, because she wasn't so down.

_**"Wow Darren, I don't get it. That's a good thing, I don't get why you said it as if it was the worst thing ever..." **_Jen said frowning, looking intently at me. Damn it. Jen always had that ability to get so fast how I was feeling. Sometimes I wished it wasn't like that.

_**"No, it's not... It's not like that... Never mind. She's doing fine and that's what matters."**_ I said feeling ashamed of myself and my way of feeling about this situation. _**"She's on the garden; surely you want to see her. Let's go there?"**_

_**"Yes, let's."**_ Jen answered excited. She seemed to be anxious to check if Freckles was fine or not.

We walked to the garden, willing to talk to Freckles about all that happened; but as soon as we walked outside, we stood there abruptly, amazed by what we were seeing. Freckles wasn't playing chest with Chuck anymore; she was now playing ball with Joe, of course also with Chuck. They were laughing and playing around as little kids. They were running and getting dirty with grass when they were falling on the ground, getting dirty as if nothing mattered because they were getting fun. Literally, I was seeing three kids playing on the yard. Jen smiled widely when she saw them playing so entertained and she was surely smiling by the way Joe was playing with them, because we both knew that Joe was a shy kid and he wouldn't play with a stranger. But, once again, Freckles had that amazing ability to make others like her so easily, at least outside school. I also smiled because it was very cute to see her having fun like that, because she was cute.

_**"I wouldn't dare to interrupt them. Freckles seems to be fine just as you said."**_ Jen said smiling, still looking at them. _**"Do you want to join them? I'm going to be here, just seeing."**_

_**"No, no, I'll stay with you. I prefer to see them playing."**_ I answered.

Jen and I sat on the deck chairs and we stared at them in silence. I glanced at Jen and she was smiling very cheerfully, laughing every time someone fell in the grass while playing. And then we saw something actually very funny. I knew that Freckles was very clumsy, so something funny had to happen and it happened. She stumbled with her own feet and she fell in the grass, after doing a weird and extravagant movement to maintain balance. It was funny because it wasn't a very hard fall. But then I saw it, then I saw how Chuck crouched down to help her up, I saw how Freckles was still laughing of her own clumsiness, I saw how Chuck was laughing along with her and how happy they seemed to be together. And I saw how suddenly Chuck started tickling her and how he hugged her tightly, both of them still laughing. They were hugging, they were really close, more than I liked and I started to feel very jealous again. I was kind of upset, because being jealous made me be upset. I was looking at them really serious and moody.

_**"Oh gosh, now I get it all..."**_ Jen suddenly said and I startled. She took me off guard.

_**"What?"**_ I asked moody and frowning and then I finally looked at her.

She wasn't looking at me, she was looking at Chuck and Freckles hugging and then she looked at me with eyes wide open and puzzled. Damn it, I knew that kind of look and I didn't like it, I knew that that kind of look meant that she actually realized how things were and she was expecting some kind of explanation.

_**"Darren... Are you jealous of your own brother?"**_ She asked me cautiously and I cursed her inside. How could she figure it out so easily? How? I hated it.

_**"What? No, of course not... That's completely absurd and ridiculous! Jealous of my own brother, please Jen! Why would I be jealous anyway? Oh dude, please. That's so silly; I don't know how you can think such a thing, Jen. Geez."**_ I said pretending to be hearing the most nonsense thing ever, running my fingers through my hair. But I was feeling nervous like hell.

_**"You're jealous, Darren, and don't lie to me. I know you pretty well to assure you're jealous." **_

_**"Oh please Jen, stop it. It's so stupid."**_ I said now really moody, looking away and frowning in annoyance.

_**"Darren, you have to talk about this. Tell me the truth, I'm your best friend and I know you since years."**_ Jen said looking at me even though I wasn't looking at her and now my gaze was focused on Freckles and Chuck, who were still fooling around very close.

_**"Ugh, fine. Maybe I'm a bit jealous. Happy?"**_ I asked annoyed because I didn't want to admit it.

_**"Just a little bit?"**_ Jen insisted and it irritated me.

_**"Very jealous like I cannot stand it, okay?"**_ I responded even more irritated. _**"I don't want to talk about this anymore, it's not like I want to feel like this." **_

_**"I know..."**_ Jen said now also looking at Freckles and Chuck. _**"I asked this once, but I want you to answer me it again... Are you falling for her?" **_

_**"No."**_ I answered curtly.

_**"Are you sure, Dare?" **_

_**"Yes."**_ I answered curtly again now feeling sad and impotent. _**"I'm not falling for her; I already fell for her, Jen, a long time ago. I just didn't want to admit it."**_ I admitted looking down and feeling troubled.

_**"Aww, why haven't you told me about this, Dare?" **_

_**"And what would I have said? Hey Jen, I'm fucking in love with this girl, and it's crazy, she doesn't even know who I am 'cause she lost her memory... But hey, I invited her for lunch and she changed me for that asshole in school called Brian. But it's cool 'cause she came to talk to me, but then she cursed at me and treated me like crap and I felt like shit; but that's alright 'cause she texted me later, she wanted to meet me at night; and I was this mess but I went because I love her...And awesome! She regained memory, but ouch, she remembered everything but when I kissed her. And wait; wait for the best part... She's gonna stay at my home! I'll be able to be with her more time and share all the things with her I've ever wanted... Oh shit, but wait... She's all the time with my bro, my own bro is flirting with her and she's doing the same with him, and I'm only this invisible guy who's in love with an awesome girl who only wants this invisible guy as a friend. Cool story, dude."**_ I said exaggeratedly and bitterly and then I saw Jen looking at me with eyes wide open and agape, obviously astonished.

_**"Wow, you've been holding this for so long. Listen Dare, it's not that terrible as you're saying..."**_

_**"Are you kidding me Jen?"**_ I asked in disbelief, feeling upset. _**"Are you trying to say that I'm overreacting and so stupid to be this pessimistic?"**_

_**"No, I'm not..."**_

_**"How would you feel if the guy you love is flirting with your best friend or something like that? How would you feel if you have to see it all the time and stay quiet because you don't dare to tell him your real feelings because you don't want to lose him as your friend? How do you think you will react if you feel so impotent and everything is going out of control? How would you feel if you've waiting for something for so damn long and when that time comes nothing is as you've been expecting and you are there, not knowing what to do and feeling lost and lopsided?"**_ I asked anguished while Jen was looking at me sadly. _**"And I'm sorry, but I can't stop being pessimistic because I won't pretend I'm doing fine because I'm not, and with time I learned that I don't have to hide how I really feel."**_

_**"You're contradicting yourself there."**_ Jen said quietly and I looked at her displeased. _**"You say you've learned not to hide how you feel, but you're hiding it when you don't dare to tell Freckles that you love her more than a friend."**_

_**"It's not the same..."**_ I said looking away and annoyed.

_**"Yes, it is." **_Jen said quietly. How could she be so quiet?

_**"No, it's not."**_ I said firmly. _**"It's not the same to show people that you aren't doing fine for whatever the reasons are, than to show someone you're in love with that person, knowing that it'll lead you nowhere because that someone doesn't feel the same as you. You'll show me that you aren't fine, but you wouldn't meet the person you love to tell him how much in love you are with him, even knowing that it won't work. So, don't tell me it's the same, because it's not."**_

_**"Let me ask you something... How can you be so sure that Freckles doesn't feel the same for you? Have you asked something to her to be so sure about this?"**_ Jen asked looking at me intently and I looked down. I didn't ask her anything, but it was more than obvious that she wasn't in love with me.

_**"No, I haven't..."**_ I responded looking down.

_**"So you wouldn't know it until you go and talk to her." **_

_**"I can't do that."**_ I said frowning and shaking my head. _**"Jen, I don't need to ask her this to know that she doesn't feel the same. Only by watching how she acts around me I can tell that she only loves me as her friend, nothing else."**_

_**"Oh, there you're so mistaken!" **_Jen said looking at me, raising her eyebrows. _**"You know, human beings, most of the time, act different as we feel; you should know it because that's exactly what you're doing. You act with Freckles as if you were her friend and as if you don't feel anything else for her but friendship; while inside you're dying to tell her that you're in love with her, you're dying to hold her hand and kiss her whenever you want. What if she is doing the same?"**_

_**"No, Jen."**_ I sighed looking down. _**"She's not doing the same."**_

_**"How do you know it?"**_

_**"I don't know, I just know it." **_I said shrugging.

_**"Do you want to know what I think? That you're a quitter who doesn't dare to talk to her to find out if she feels the same for you or not, because you're just too scared to hear that maybe, as a possibility, she doesn't feel the same so you'll have to deal with your pride. And you're too quitter that you don't take risks, so you'll never know that maybe she does feel the same and you're wasting your time thinking about unsure things, therefore taking unsure decisions; because you think you know things but actually you don't know anything and you'll never know until you talk to her and you deal with what you really feel." **_

_**"No..."**_ I said frowning but really I knew she was right, that was what was happening to me._** "Well, maybe yes. In any case, if things are like that, I wouldn't talk to her about this, because she's not a random person, she's Freckles and I love her too much to tear away from her if she doesn't feel the same. I prefer to be her friend and keep her near me."**_

_**"But at the end, you'll end up suffering anyway; just as you're suffering now because you think she's flirting with Chuck. Dare, it's time to have the guts to go and talk. This is the time we have to take risks, to make mistakes, to learn how to deal with new things; if you don't do it now, then when would you do it?"**_ Jen asked firmly and looking at me while placing her hand above mine.

_**"I know this is our time, Jenny. But I just can't... I need to wait to be sure..."**_ I said full of doubts and insecure.

_**"And for how long would you wait? Time maybe is the most valuable thing we've got. Everybody says that with time things will solve. And maybe yes, but those things won't solve by themselves; you have to do something, you have to act or then time will become your worst enemy, maybe you'll end up waiting all your life long for the right time in the right place and maybe the right time and the right place is here and now. Don't wait for something you want, just do something to get that something you want."**_ Jen said wisely and meditatively and I looked at her sadly because yes, she had a very good point there.

_**"But this isn't only about me, Freckles is also involved so I can't be selfish and think only about myself. What if I tell her that I'm in love with her and she just tears away because she didn't want this to be like that?"**_ I asked feeling troubled because I was a mess.

_**"Well, at least you'll know that you've tried it and you didn't stand there not doing anything at all. Because if you don't try, someday you're going to wake up and notice that you should've tried. And at the end, it's better to look back at your life and say I can't believe I did that, than saying I wish I did that."**_ Jen said and I nodded because dammit, she was always right. _**"And you know, after all, there is no end, there is no beginning; there is only the infinite passion of life. So don't be afraid of what it'll come to be, be afraid of not standing up for something you want with your heart. It's time not to act as our minds tell is right, but to act as our hearts tell is right, only in your heart you'll find the answer."**_

_**"That's so sappy, but so accurate..."**_ I said thoughtful, still looking down and freaking out because Jen was actually convincing me to talk to Freckles, she was convincing me that it was the best option.

_**"I know... Tell me Dare, are you very sure you're in love with her?"**_ Jen asked curiously.

_**"Yes, I'm very sure."**_ I answered firmly, nodding.

_**"So let me ask you... Why do you love her?"**_ Jen asked and I was about to answer but she stopped me. _**"Think about your answer, think about which the real reasons why you love her are; and then tell me."**_

_**"Well..."**_ I said thoughtful after a while, looking down.

When I was thinking about those reasons my heart started beating faster and I felt a huge happiness inside that I barely could contain. Thinking about her made me feel like this. I looked up to see Freckles laughing naturally and still playing with Joe, with all her brightness and cuteness; she was outstanding. When I started answering I never stopped looking at her.

_**"It's a hard question to answer, because there's no reason in particular, because is the sum of all the little things about her what amazes me and makes me feel that I need to be with her. Mostly, I'd say that is because she's banged up mentally and emotionally, literally and metaphorically; but every day she walks outside with a smile on her face because that's who she is. Because I've grown tremendously as a person since I met her, she's changed me for the better in so many ways; because her gorgeous smile always lights up my day, because she says the cutest things that make me laugh, because she always brings out the best in me, because I love the way our hands fit so perfectly together; I love how we can talk without saying a word, I love how she still acts like a big kid just like me, I love that we can talk for hours about nothing, I love how we can have fun doing absolutely nothing, I love the way she says my name, I love how it is always hard for me to leave her every night, and how I can't wait to see her the next day. I love her personality. But mostly because she's the last person I want to see when I go to sleep, and the first person I want to wake up to. I often wonder why I love her and then I find out that it's only her presence."**_ I finally said.

I was still looking at Freckles, feeling this strong love for her, something that I haven't felt before. More than telling this to Jen, I pictured I was telling this all to Freckles. This was what I wanted to tell her, but what I couldn't. Man, I wanted her so badly; I wished things could be easier. I only wanted to walk to her and hold her in my arms like forever. Then I stopped looking at her because I seemed like a fool, so I just looked at Jen, who was looking at me with a warm smile on her face and teary eyes. What? Why would she have teary eyes?

"_**That is surely one of the most beautiful things I've ever heard. And yes, I believe you're in love with her, Dare."**_ Jen said placing a hand above mine again and I started feeling ashamed. Like that was so very private, those were things only I thought in my mind and surely I sounded so mushy. _**"Go for her, Dare; don't waste your time with doubts and fears. Tell her all that you just said, you'll touch her soul. After all, if not now, then when? Life will always be full of later, of challenges, of later on. It's better to admit it and decide to be happy now anyway. There is no later nor a way to happiness, happiness is the way and is now. And judging by the way you were looking at her while you were telling all the reasons you love her; I can assuredly say that she's the one with whom you can share that happiness and the time is now. Go, talk to her, now." **_Jen said encouragingly looking into my eyes and suddenly I felt very nervous.

_**"Like... Now? Right now?"**_ I asked nervously.

_**"Like right now. If you think about it too much, then you'll end up doing nothing; because that is what happens all the times we postpone things. Go now and talk to her, meanwhile I'll entertain Chuck and Joe. Go, Dare!"**_ She exclaimed encouragingly and positively.

_**"You're right. I'll talk to her right now."**_ I said firmly and bravely, standing up.

But when I stood up I felt very dizzy, I felt extremely nervous and I felt that thing called adrenalin. I barely could breathe normally and my heart was beating so very fast that it was insane. Dammit, this could change absolutely everything, this was so risky, and I started doubting again. It took me only to see her flawless laughter to be brave and walk to her. I wanted this with all my soul; therefore I needed to do something. She was the one; she was all that I wanted. But then I heard the doorbell again and I stood abruptly. Jen was now talking to Chuck and Joe and Freckles was still with them, and no one of them seemed to have heard the doorbell. Well, maybe my mom or dad would open the door. But the doorbell rang again and I just turned around to go to open the door. Maybe it was a signal that I shouldn't to talk to her now. Moody, I opened the door.

_**"Hi." **_

_**"Hey...What are you doing here?"**_ I asked bewildered and amazed when I saw Mandy standing there.

* * *

You were having a lovely afternoon at Darren's home. You were getting along with Chuck better than you've expected. You spent hours playing chess with him, talking and joking; just fooling around. Meanwhile, Darren's mom and dad were in the kitchen baking a cake and Darren was just chilling out in the yard. This seemed to be a routine to them and it was great; everything seemed so natural and relaxing that it amazed you. Things got better when a little boy arrived with a ball on his hands. You wondered who he could be and Chuck explained you that he was Jen's little cousin called Joe. So Jen was there too, and it made happy. Anyway, you didn't see her nor Darren, so you started talking to this little and cute boy.

_**"Hi buddy."**_ You greeted him cheerfully and he smiled shyly, looking down. He didn't answer at all.

_**"He's so very shy and he barely talks to strangers, so don't feel bad."**_ Chuck whispered in your ear and you nodded.

_**"Hey, is that a He-man ball?" **_You asked surprised and smiling widely, trying to make him feel less shy.

Chuck looked at you astonished and amused. You really didn't know how you knew about He-man, you just knew it. And it worked, because the little boy looked at you brightly and you noticed how his face lit up when you said so. The boy only nodded energetically and vividly.

_**"Oh my god! That's is so amazing, you know? I always wanted to have a ball like this one, it must be powerful!" **_You exclaimed excited, crouching down.

_**"Yes! Daz told me the same."**_ The boy said very low, smiling shyly.

_**"Daz is Darren, just so you know."**_ Chuck whispered in your ear again. _**"I can't believe he's actually talking to you, he never does that. It took years for us to make him talk to us." **_

_**"I'm a lucky one, then."**_ You whispered, giggling happily.

_**"Not a lucky one, maybe a loveable one."**_ Chuck whispered, smiling friendly at you and you felt flattered.

_**"And how did you get that ball?"**_ You asked nicely, smiling at the little boy.

_**"Santa gave me it to me last Christmas."**_ The little boy answered, still shyly.

_**"Oh, that must be because you were a really good kid. Not anybody would get a He-man ball!"**_ You said joyfully.

_**"My mom told me the same. But no one wanted to play with me."**_ The little boy said looking down and you felt kinda sad.

_**"Well then, they're losing the chance to play with a powerful ball and with a warrior buddy." **_You said winking at him and he smiled again. Oh, he was so cute. _**"I'd be honored if you let me play with you."**_

_**"Would you really want to play with me?"**_ The little boy asked surprised and excited. His eyes were so full of hopes and desires that it killed you.

_**"Yes, of course!"**_ You said smiling widely. Oh gosh, you wanted to hug that little boy.

_**"Really, really?"**_ The little boy asked, jumping of excitement while Chuck was looking at you both amazed.

_**"Really, really!"**_ You exclaimed excited and feeling very touched at his excitement.

_**"Thank you! I really wanted someone to play with me!"**_ The boy exclaimed excited and then he hugged you.

Oh gosh, he was hugging you and it surely was weird judging by what Chuck told you. Of course you hugged him back because he was very cute and you just loved little kids. While you were hugging him, you glanced at Chuck who was looking at you very puzzled and astonished. Then the little boy moved away and he kissed your cheek sweetly. Oh please, could he be even cuter?

_**"How's your name?"**_ The boy asked cheerfully now, and definitely feeling less shy.

_**"You can call me Freckles.**_" You answered with a warm smile.

_**"Alright, Freckles! Let's go, let's play!"**_ The boy jumped in excitement and he grabbed your hand to lead you to a place where you can play.

_**"Unbelievable!"**_ You heard how Chuck exclaimed loudly behind you and you couldn't help it but giggle.

So that's the way you spent all the afternoon, just playing around with Joe and Chuck. It was so funny and you noticed how much you needed something like this, to have fun and not to worry about everyday problems. Since you were living at Darren's home everything was going fine; it wasn't as bad as you thought, you weren't feeling as blue as you thought you'd be. There was a magical thing on the Criss family, something that was making you feel as if you were home. And it scared you to think that maybe this was best than you family, actually you felt bad when you thought about it, but you couldn't help to feel this way, to feel as happy as you've ever been since years. You were still playing with them when Jen arrived and you felt really happy to see her again and actually recognize her.

_**"Jen!"**_ You greeted happily.

_**"Freckles!"**_ She smiled widely and she pulled you into a warm hug. It was very good to see her again. _**"I've been told that you've regained memory, I'm so happy for that." **_

_**"Yes, that's right. I feel so bad because I treated you..."**_ You started to say apologetically, but she stopped you.

_**"No, no, no. Everything is okay, we understand you."**_ She said smiling friendly. _**"And I see you're getting along with Joe, that's something extraordinary to see, you know?" **_

_**"I know, Chuck told me so."**_ You said smiling cheerfully.

_**"It's so great to see you so cheery, Freckles."**_ Jen suddenly said.

_**"Jenny!"**_ Chuck suddenly exclaimed loudly and he pulled her into a very tight hug, tickling her. Wow, their friendship was amazing; you thought that maybe Jen was like a part of the family for them.

Then they started talking about things you didn't get and Joe was now playing with the flowers of the garden, apparently trying to chase ants or something, so you just let him have fun. But you didn't know what to do there. You looked for Darren but you didn't see him, maybe he was with his parents. Well, you just headed to the kitchen to join them and maybe you could help with the cake. When you entered there, Darren wasn't there, but his parents looked at you smiling warmly. Oh well, they were so kind to you.

_**"How's that going? It smells so good."**_ You said smiling politely. _**"Do you need any help?"**_

_**"No, sweetheart. It's almost done, so you should be enjoying this lovely day with the boys."**_ Darren's mom said smiling just as politely.

_**"Oh, I've been enjoying it."**_ You said joyfully. _**"I didn't have the chance before to thank you, for letting me be here."**_

_**"Not a problem at all, sweetheart. You're very welcome at our home. We're glad to have you here, so you can stay as long as you need."**_ She said smiling warmly. How could she be so warm-hearted?

_**"Thank you very much, it means a lot to me. I really don't know what I'd do if you..."**_ You said now with choked voice, when you remembered why you were there.

You tried to hold back your tears because you didn't want them to see you crying. You couldn't finish the sentence because words couldn't come out. Darren's mom noticed this, so she walked to you and he hugged warmly. It felt very comfortable and reassuringly. Geez, Criss family was giving you all you needed in that moment. You thought that you'd be eternally grateful to them.

_**"If you ever need something, don't doubt on asking me, sweetheart." **_Darren's mom said caressing your hair softly and you felt so good. Who would do something like that for you? You were feeling very thrilled.

_**"Thanks, honestly."**_ You said with choked voice because of your thrill. _**"I don't know how I'm gonna return all you're doing for me."**_

_**"Oh no, we aren't doing this to get something in return."**_ She said smiling kindly and you smiled back to show her how thankful you were. _**"Oh, it seems cake is already done! Would you mind to call Darren? I think he's in his bedroom."**_

_**"Yes, sure."**_ You smiled politely.

You headed upstairs to call Darren; you knew exactly where his bedroom was. While you were walking to there, you were thinking how lucky you were to have met Darren and all his family; they were making you feel as if you were really loved, as if they really cared about you; and that was priceless. You knocked the door when you arrived, and he didn't answer; so you, shyly, opened the door. And there you saw them. You were completely in shock, you just couldn't believe it. They were there, now looking at you terrified and you just couldn't move because of your astonishment. Why? You asked to yourself, feeling how your heart was breaking into billion pieces.

* * *

_**"I only wanted to talk to you."**_ Mandy said looking down and shyly.

_**"What about?"**_ I asked without inviting her to come in. Just when I was about to talk to Freckles she has appeared.

_**"About the way I treated you that day in school. I shouldn't have done it, I overreacted because I wasn't having a good day and..."**_ Mandy started saying, apologetically, still looking down. _**"Do you think I can come in? I feel uncomfortable talking here."**_

_**"Uhm..."**_ I babbled thoughtful.

I didn't want Freckles to see her, because I didn't want her to see me with another girl or she'd think that Mandy was my lover or something and I only wanted Freckles. Yes, I still thought Mandy was a hell of sexy woman, but I didn't feel for her the same that I was feeling for Freckles. And that was the time when I noticed the difference between having a crush and being in love.

_**"Yes, sure."**_ I finally said, letting her to come in. She entered shyly and then she headed to the couch, but I stopped her. We shouldn't talk there, it was risky. _**"No wait; let's go to my bedroom. We have visitors and I don't want to bother them."**_

_**"Oh, okay."**_ She said shyly and then I started walking to my bedroom while Mandy followed behind me.

When we entered in my bedroom, she looked all around, amazed. Fortunately, my bedroom wasn't so untidy as the time when Freckles came here. I've learned my lesson with her; and more that Freckles was now staying at my home, so I didn't know, maybe she was going to enter my bedroom sometime and I didn't want to feel ashamed again. So I let Mandy look around and I sat on the edge of my bed in silence, so Mandy then could sit on the chair of my desk.

_**"You weren't lying when you told me you loved music."**_ Mandy said when she looked at the corner where I had all my musical instruments.

_**"No, I'm not used at lying."**_ I said curtly, with double intention: one because it was the truth, and then also because I was still upset about the way she lied about me in public. She definitely got it, because she looked down.

_**"I'm sorry, Darren."**_ She apologized and I didn't answer anything at all. _**"Answer me something."**_ She begged now looking at me with teary eyes.

_**"What do you want me to answer?"**_ I asked serious, looking fixedly into her eyes. This time she wasn't going to make me fall into her trap of crying. _**"You're forgiven, I don't care what you did, it's in the past. But I'm not falling again because I know how it'll end up."**_

_**"We're still on time, Darren."**_ She said with hopes, now sitting on the edge of the bed next to me, and I moved a bit away from her. _**"This time that I was away from you I realized this is what I want; I want you to be with me and I'm ready to make it public."**_ She said placing a hand above mine and I moved my hand away, looking away. _**"When we were apart I realized I missed you because you were the one who always make me laugh without expecting anything in return. And I can't believe I let you go, I was so stupid. But now I'm sure, I'm sure about this, about us. And I don't care what people would think because I know I'll be happy only with you. I'm ready now, Darren."**_ She whispered, getting closer to me and now I didn't have more room in the bed to move away from her.

_**"Cool, you're ready now."**_ I said curtly and coldly. _**"Well, I also thought a lot when we were apart. The difference is that, unlike you, I realized that this isn't what I want. I'm really sorry, Mandy. If you want, we can be friends, but I'm not gonna date with you or anything like that. I'm not your type and you made it clear; and you're not my type."**_ I answered firmly and I was hurting her feelings, but what could I do? I didn't want to have a love affair with her now. _**"Listen, you're this flawless and gorgeous girl, any man would want to be with you. And trust me, this is what I wanted before, the most I wanted was to be with you and I was dreaming for that day to happen. I had a crush on you since... I don't know, since the first time I saw you, last year. Goddammit, I'd have done everything only to get to be with you at least few seconds. And when you talked to me the first time I was like flying, so incredulous to believe it happened for real. Geez, I was so damn happy. Imagine when I got the first date with you, I was crazy. It was insane that the hottest girl in school wanted to hang out with a dork like me. And when we kissed, oh dammit, I was so hyper."**_ I admitted while she was looking at me smiling. I don't know why I was saying all of this, but I needed it. _**"But then shit started happening, first when I heard the way your friend Alice or whatever, started talking about me as if I was a creep. And then... you have no idea how it hurt me the way you acted different to me when we were in school. I thought you were different, Mandy. And yes, maybe you're a good person; but I can't be with you in a love affair because I know it won't last, because you're not the one with whom I imagine myself spending time together just doing nothing. I'll always remember you as the girl who was used to take my breath away, but now I look at you... and I don't feel the same as before. It's as if the magic has vanished..."**_

Wow, I felt good saying all that, I felt more relaxed. I was waiting for so long to tell her all of this; not because I wanted to hurt her feelings, no I didn't want it, but because it was time to say all that I was holding on. And this was the first step if I wanted to be with Freckles, to clear up things with Mandy first. Mandy was looking at me distressed, but I couldn't do anything, I wouldn't regret what I said because that was how I felt.

_**"I could take your breath away over again if you let me."**_ Mandy said getting even closer.

_**"What? No, Mandy, I..."**_ I started saying but I couldn't even finish the sentence.

She pounced over me and she made me lay down in bed while she got on top of me. Of course I tried to move her away from me, because no, I didn't want this. But she grabbed my arms strongly and before I could do something, she started kissing me. It was a very different kiss than the others we had. This was a needy and wild kiss, it was very passionate and it seemed she was like devouring me. I couldn't deny that the kiss was so good, but I didn't feel the same than when I kissed Freckles; I preferred Freckles's kisses. And damn hell, she placed her hands on my stomach underneath my shirt and she started running her fingers through my stomach till my chest before she took off my shirt. Oh no, no, no; I needed to stop this. I was about to take her away and curse at her, but she kissed me again, this time harder and deeper; while she was taking her own shirt off. What the hell? This is not what I wanted, even though I was starting to feel aroused because of the hormones. I finally pulled her away, upset and annoyed.

_**"What the fuck, Mandy? What the fuck?"**_ I yelled angrily and I stood up trying to get away from her.

_**"I know you want this, Darren. I know you like this, I know this arouses you."**_ Mandy said while she started to unbutton her own jeans and I looked away. _**"Wouldn't you look at me?"**_ She asked sensually but I didn't look at her at all.

_**"No. Get out of here, Mandy. I don't want you to be in my bedroom, I don't want you to be near me. Get out."**_ I said harshly, still looking away.

And I didn't notice she was now behind me and she wrapped her arms around me, rubbing her hands on my lower abdomen, near the spot of my pelvic area. Oh damn hell, no one touched me there before and it was so fucking arousal. I really wanted to pull her away, but I just couldn't. I let myself to carry away, thinking it was Freckles the one who was doing this. She turned me around and pulled me into a very fierce kiss, leading me to bed again. She pulled me in the bed and she got on top of me again, while still rubbing her hands on my lower abdomen, now trying to unbutton my jeans. She stopped kissing mi lips fiercely and she started to run her tongue from my chest to my belly bottom. Oh damn, this was the first time someone was doing something like this to me and it felt so fucking arousal and good. But no, I didn't want my first time to be with her; I finally noticed she was Mandy and not Freckles. I didn't want to try new things never experienced with Mandy; I wanted to experience new things with Freckles. I tried to pull her away over again, but she started kissing me again fiercely. And then I heard how someone knocked the door and I tried to move away from her desperately, but evidently she didn't hear someone knocking the door, so she kept kissing me and I was so desperate, I didn't want anyone to see me like this. And I heard how someone opened the door, and that was the time when Mandy let me free and we both looked at the door to find Freckles looking at us in shock. Holy damn shit! This couldn't be happening, oh no! No, why did it happen? Freckles was the first person I didn't want to see me with Mandy; and she not only saw when I was with Mandy, but also she saw how Mandy was like devouring me wildly, even though I didn't want it. But how would Freckles know that I didn't want to be with Mandy if the only she could see was us making out? I pulled Mandy away from me harshly and I quickly stood up. Shit, I wasn't wearing a shirt and my jeans were unbuttoned, and Mandy also wasn't wearing a shirt. Fuck, she would be thinking the worst. How could I make her to believe me if it seemed that we were actually about to have sex or something? Oh I was so screwed, man. I tried to walk to Freckles and explain her all of this, but no word came out from my mouth 'cause I didn't know what to say. Mandy, behind me, finally asked something.

_**"What are you doing here?"**_ She asked in disbelief.

I only was looking at Freckles, feeling terrible. Freckles was still in shock, but she glanced at Mandy and then she looked at me, with eyes wide open and hurtful.

_**"Freckles...Let me explain..."**_ I started saying feeling very, but very shameful and terrible.

But Freckles shook her head and she ran away as fast as she could, without saying anything at all. I stood there for a few seconds, feeling horrible and fearful because I knew that it was going to be hard to tell her all I truly felt for her now, she wouldn't believe me. Damn, just when I decided to tell her I was in love with her. I looked at Mandy very furious and then I ran behind Freckles.

_**"Freckles, wait!"**_ I yelled while running behind her. She didn't stop. _**"Freckles, let me explain you, it's not what it seems**_." I yelled even louder.

She stopped in the living room and I saw how my mom, my dad, Chuck and Jen popped into the room when they heard me yelling. Fuck, they needed to go away. I was so nervous, but I walked to Freckles and I held her hand, but she moved it away and I felt afflicted. She was looking down and she wouldn't look into my eyes. My family and Jen were seeing the situation very confused and then they looked behind me. I noticed how Jen raised her eyebrows and then she looked down, shaking her head. Mandy surely popped in the living room and that was the reason why everybody was looking behind me. Well, this was a very awful situation, I was still without my shirt and my jeans were unbuttoned; I looked behind me to see if Mandy was like me, but no, she was wearing her shirt now and she was looking at Freckles astonished. I looked at Freckles again and she was now looking at Mandy frowning and distressed. Oh man.

_**"What are you doing here?"**_ Mandy asked the same than she asked upstairs.

_**"I'm wondering the same. What are you doing here?"**_ Freckles finally spoke and I looked at them confused, as everybody in the room.

_**"I asked first."**_ Mandy said coldly. Everybody was looking at them very intently, including me.

_**"I'm living here."**_ Freckles answered just as coldly. _**"And you?"**_

_**"I'm visiting my boyfriend."**_ Mandy answered and I looked at her furious and disbelief.

_**"What? No..."**_ I started saying really annoyed and worried because it wasn't like that and Freckles heard that lie. Everybody in the room was silent and this was so uncomfortable. I looked at Freckles and she was now frowning and looking down. _**"Freckles, it's not..."**_

_**"I guess I'll see you often here now too."**_ Freckles said, avoiding me. Has she said too? So... Did she know Mandy?

_**"He's worried, you know? You should come back and stop thinking about yourself."**_ Mandy said coldly.

_**"Yeah, sure... And now he cares about me, and so you do. Great joke."**_ Freckles said ironically and I was just so confused.

_**"Yes, we do. You shouldn't have disappeared like that."**_ Mandy said, walking to Freckles and Freckles stepped back. What was going on here?

_**"What do you expect? He kicked me out! Did he tell you that or not?"**_ Freckles said now with choked voice and teary eyes and I saw how Mandy looked down.

_**"Sorry to interrupt... But, do you know each other?"**_ I asked curious and very confused. Freckles looked at me frowning and serious.

_**"Yes. She's my sister, Amanda."**_ Freckles answered curtly.

_**"Oh, holy shit."**_ I exclaimed troubled.


	17. Playing games

A/N: Hello, guys! A new chapter is up! I uploaded it earlier than other times because I wasn't going to be able to do so later, and I didn't want to let you waiting until Sunday! I'm glad that some of you liked the last chapter and I hope you can like this one! In this chapter you're gonna find out what's going to happen between Darren-Freckles-Amanda ;) And you'll get more things. I liked writing this chapter because it was kind of funny, you'll see it and then you tell me if it was like that or I'm totally wrong, maybe I am! haha Okay, okay, no more spoilers, I need to control that! I will let you read so... Go, go, go! Until next Saturday! Take care and have a good day!

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**Teenage Dream – Part 17 – Playing games**

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_**"Yes. She's my sister, Amanda."**_ Freckles answered curtly.

_**"Oh, holy shit."**_ I exclaimed troubled.

When I heard Freckles' response, I just got so very puzzled; like... which were the chances for this to happen? Among all the girls in high school and in San Francisco, precisely Mandy had to be her sister. Like, this was insanely crazy and no... This wasn't true, it couldn't be true. The lips, I thought. Right, holy crap! That is why her lips reminded me to something; because Freckles had exactly the same lips than Mandy. Oh geez, I can't believe I've never figured this out before. I could have never imagined that they were sisters, they were so fucking different. It never crossed my mind that Mandy was her family, not even when Freckles talked to me about her sister and all the problems they had. Oh my god, if I thought I was screwed before, now I was literally and undoubtedly screwed. Shit, what was I going to do now? If I thought that Freckles wouldn't want to be with me before, now she definitely wouldn't want to be with me; women codes, Jen taught me that. I looked nervously at Jen to get some kind of calmness, but she was looking at Freckles and Mandy just as astonished and terrified as me. Damn, it didn't help at all. I looked at Freckles even more nervous and she was avoiding my gaze.

_**"Darren, are you friends with my little sister?"**_ Mandy suddenly asked.

_**"Yes, I am."**_ I responded almost in a whisper while Freckles was still avoiding my gaze.

_**"And hasn't she told you that we were sisters?"**_ Mandy asked over again. Man, those were uncomfortable questions; I wanted to shut up her.

_**"No, she hasn't. I never asked anyway."**_ I said shrugging, still looking at Freckles who was looking at her own shoes.

_**"And do you call her a friend? Someone who hasn't told you about her own sister? Yes, such a good friend you've got..."**_ Mandy said sarcastically and I got very angry.

_**"So? What if she hasn't told me about you? We talked about more important things, you know?"**_ I said furious, defending Freckles, now looking at Mandy. I noticed how Freckles finally looked up. _**"And in any case, you also never mentioned that she was your sister, so don't play the victim here." **_

_**"I didn't know you were friends with her."**_ Mandy answered coldly because she surely felt humiliated and she wasn't used at it.

_**"And she didn't know anything about you, so why would she tell me something about you? Why would you tell me something about her? It's the same shit, different form."**_ I said just as coldly as her.

_**"You know it's not the same! You call her your friend and you really don't know anything about her! Wake up, Darren! The first thing you do when you meet someone before becoming friends is to introduce your family! She hasn't even told you anything about her family! What kind of friend is that?"**_ Mandy said almost yelling and I was getting so very furious.

_**"And what about you, Amanda? You come here with all your lies and bullshit saying that you're ready to start a fucking thing with me and you also never introduced me your family! That's even worse, so clean your mouth before speaking."**_ I said rabidly, looking at her really coldly. I noticed how everybody in the room was looking at me astonished. _**"And just so you know, I know more things about her than you, her own sister. You're the one who doesn't know a damn shit. And yes, she might have not introduced me her family; oh, but you know? She has told me a lot of things about you and her family; she just never mentioned your name. I know more than you know, so don't mess here." **_

_**"Darren..."**_ I heard Jen's warning voice from behind and I turned around to look at her, my mom, my dad and Chuck.

_**"Can you all please leave? This is private and I don't want anybody to meddle here."**_ I said moody and ill-mannered.

_**"Let's go, better... They need privacy."**_ My mom said softly and I thanked her. She, my dad, Chuck and Jen turned around to leave. And then I saw Freckles was also leaving, but I stopped her.

_**"Not you, Freckles. Please, stay."**_ I said softening my voice. I didn't want to treat her in a bad way; she wasn't the one to blame here, the only nasty person was her sister.

_**"It's better if I go... It seems this is a couple's argument and I don't want to meddle."**_ She responded looking down.

_**"What? No, don't misunderstand this. Amanda is not my couple. Oh no, no way."**_ I said quickly shaking my head.

_**"Leave her, Darren. She won't stay, she always runs away from troubles because she's too coward to face them."**_ Amanda said laughing archly and I looked at her in disgust.

_**"You really don't know a damn shit about your sister, Amanda."**_ I defended Freckles. I wanted Amanda to leave my house.

_**"Stop it, Darren."**_ Freckles suddenly begged so sadly and I looked at her. That was all I needed to calm; if she wanted me to stop, then that was what I was going to do. _**"I'll stay."**_ She said defiant, looking at her sister.

_**"Oh wow, that's outstanding. The coward girl will stay."**_ Mandy laughed amused and wickedly.

_**"Get out of my house, Amanda. I won't let you treat her like this. Get out." **_I said roundly and determined and she looked at me abashed.

_**"What?" **_Mandy said with trembling voice, astonished. _**"Please, don't. I... I didn't mean to treat her this way. It's just... I'm bewildered to see her here, doing fine, while I was worried about her because I didn't know where she could be. I'm so sorry." **_

_**"You shouldn't be apologizing to me; you should apologize to your sister."**_ I said looking away.

_**"You're right..."**_ She said and then I saw how she walked to Freckles. I noticed how Freckles looked at Mandy with suspicion. _**"I'm so sorry, sis. Really. I know sometimes I can be a bitch over you, but it's because we're sisters. But you know I love you anyway, don't you?"**_ Mandy said with choked voice and that sounded very frankly, but I couldn't believe it; not after all the things Freckles told me about her sister.

_**"I don't know..."**_ Freckles whispered, looking down.

_**"Please, sis. I love you, you're my sister. Is just that I can't show you it, because you know I'm not that kind of person who shows how she's feeling. And yes, I do know that I treated you like crap several times... but it's because, you know... Because I know you're always going to forgive me, as I'd forgive you; it's how sisters are, isn't it?"**_ Mandy said still with choked voice and I was starting to believe her. She couldn't be lying, she sounded so honest. _**"I'm sorry if I didn't show you the enough that I love you; but I really do care about you. And I didn't know that daddy kicked you out, and I was so worried... Please, come back home."**_ Mandy begged and Freckles looked down. Wow, that was really sincere. Now I felt bad for treating her in a bad way, she was only worried for her little sister.

_**"I love you too, Amanda. But I... I just can't come back home. Not yet."**_ Freckles said after a while, distressed. _**"If you only knew all the things that dad told me..."**_ Freckles said with teary eyes and I wanted to hug and comfort her. She wasn't doing fine, she was pretending she was doing fine and I noticed it when tears started to stream down her face.

_**"I do understand and I'm sorry I wasn't there to defend you, sis. You know that I'd have done it, don't you?"**_ Mandy said sweetly with a hint of guilt while Freckles nodded. Whoa, I felt so touched. _**"I can talk to dad, so maybe he'd change his mind." **_

_**"No..."**_ Freckles refused, shaking her head energetically. _**"I don't want to get you into this. It's a problem between me and dad, not yours. So don't feel guilty." **_

_**"But... Can I at least come to visit you here? Would you let me doing so?"**_ Mandy asked with eyes full of hopes and I felt thrilled. It was good to see them getting along.

_**"Yes, of course."**_ Freckles said smiling faintly, but looking down. I was feeling as if I was interrupting them... but I wanted to see everything of that.

_**"Thank you, sis."**_ Mandy said smiling sweetly. _**"And I'm so sorry."**_

_**"I'm sorry too, for having treated you in a bad way."**_ Freckles said apologetically. _**"Darren..."**_ Freckles said and I startled when she said my name, because I was looking away. I quickly looked at her. _**"If you don't mind... Would you let my sister to stay here for the rest of the day?"**_

_**"Yeah, sure..." **_I responded amazed. To be honest, I wasn't expecting a question like this. I didn't want Mandy to stay, but Freckles was asking me that and I wanted her to feel home here. _**"She can stay; you don't even have to ask that. You know, this is like your home now; so you can invite whoever you want."**_

_**"Thank you, Dar."**_ She said very sweetly looking at me and I felt how my heart skipped a beat. I just loved so much the way she called me. Then she looked at her sister. _**"We were about to eat cake. I know you aren't used to eat those fatty foods, but I was wondering if you'd like to join."**_

_**"Yes, I'd love it. And I could use some cake now, especially if it's chocolate cake."**_ Mandy said giggling.

_**"Then it's your lucky day."**_ Freckles said smiling widely. _**"Come on, let's go to the yard."**_

Mandy nodded and both of them started walking outside. But I needed to talk to Freckles, I still needed to explain her what happened. I couldn't go there without first talking to her; because surely she was still thinking I had something with Mandy when I really wanted to be with her. It was now or never. Fuck, I was so nervous.

_**"Freckles, wait."**_ I finally said, trying to be brave. Freckles stopped and both Mandy and Freckles turned around to look at me. _**"Can I talk to you first?"**_

_**"Yes, sure."**_ She answered shrugging. Both of them stood there. I looked at Mandy and then I looked at Freckles.

_**"In private?"**_ I asked shyly, looking fixedly into her eyes.

_**"I... I'll be outside."**_ Mandy said when she got I didn't want her to be there. Freckles nodded at her sister and fortunately Mandy turned around and left me alone with Freckles. I waited until I was sure Mandy was gone to look at Freckles.

_**"Freckles... Uhm... I..."**_ I started stuttering like a real jerk. I was so nervous and she was only looking at me in silence... How could I start this conversation?_** "I wanted to explain you... what you saw upstairs... it's not what it seems..."**_

_**"Darren, Darren..."**_ Freckles interrupted me, gesturing her hands and looking down. _**"I don't need any kind of explanation." **_

_**"Yes, you need..."**_ I said nervously, walking closer to her.

_**"Not at all. I shouldn't have opened the door and I'm sorry to have interrupted you guys, it was so inappropriate from me." **_She apologized still looking down. Holy hell, how was I gonna change her mind that it wasn't what she surely was thinking?

_**"No, Freckles! Listen... I'm not... Your sister..."**_ I said even more nervous, not knowing how to explain her all of this and not knowing how to tell my feelings for her.

_**"Stop, Darren. I'm glad you're dating my sister. Does it make us family?"**_ She asked trying to pretend she was amused.

_**"I'm not dating your sister, Freckles. What you saw upstairs..."**_ I started saying again.

_**"Darren, really, I don't need you to explain me anything. It was an inopportune situation and let's just forget it. This is only a private thing between you and my sister. That's it, imagine I didn't see anything." **_Freckles interrupted me again and I was feeling so frustrated. _**"Let's go get some cake."**_

_**"No, I don't want cake. I want to explain you this because you surely misunderstood things. Can we please talk?"**_ I asked kinda exasperated.

_**"I don't want to talk about this; it's easier if both of us just forget what happened upstairs. I really don't want to know."**_ Freckles said looking down, apparently also nervous. I was about to answer her, but she interrupted me again. _**"Darren, it's okay. I understood that you need privacy... and... You don't have to explain me this only because I've seen that and because she's my sister."**_

_**"I don't want to explain you this because she's your sister. I want to explain you this because..."**_ I said very nervous. This was the time I needed to tell her that I was in love with her, but I couldn't because of my fear.

_**"Because?"**_ She asked looking at me curious, frowning.

_**"Because I... Freckles, I'm in..."**_ I started saying very but very nervous, looking deeply into her eyes.

_**"Hey Darren! Joe wants to see you, bro!"**_ Chuck interrupted and I huffed in frustration. That was so fucking inopportune, man. Right when I was about to tell Freckles I was in love with her, right when I was being brave. Damn it. Chuck surely noticed it because he looked at us suspiciously. _**"Sorry, am I interrupting something?"**_

_**"No..."**_ Freckles started saying.

_**"Yes, actually, yes, Charles."**_ I said annoyed and Freckles looked at me frowning.

_**"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it. I... I'll leave you alone."**_ Chuck said kinda uncomfortable and then he turned around.

_**"Wait, Chuck. We've just finished talking."**_ Freckles said walking to Chuck but I grabbed her arm quickly. I didn't want to leave this conversation here. _**"Darren, let's go."**_

_**"No, I want to talk to you."**_ I begged in a whisper, so Chuck wouldn't hear me.

_**"Later, Darren. Now they're waiting for us."**_ Freckles said roundly and nervously, seeing how Chuck went away.

_**"No, if it's not now, then I don't know if I'll dare to talk to you about this. Please."**_ I begged again, looking into her big and beautiful eyes.

_**"Well, maybe it's because you don't have to tell me that thing you want to tell."**_ Freckles said shrugging. _**"Listen, Darren... Everything is okay for me. You don't have to explain me anything because it's your privacy and I don't want to meddle. I'm happy for you two, guys."**_ Freckles said looking down and then she walked away from me.

_**"No, Freckles... You aren't getting this..."**_ I said anguished while she was walking away. I saw how she disappeared and I stood there, alone. _**"I'm not dating your sister because I love you."**_

And my gloomy words echoed in the silent and empty room.

* * *

You left Darren alone because you really needed to walk away from him, you didn't know for how long you'd be able to contain your tears the way you were doing. You should feel happy because of Darren and your sister. Yes, it was true that you couldn't stand your sister and surely this would have been terrible if you wouldn't have had that short talk with her minutes earlier. Now she showed you another side of her that you couldn't see before and she had something with your best friend, Darren. Yes, you should feel happy; but it wasn't like that at all and you felt so selfish. For you, Darren was still the boy with whom you fell in love years ago; he was still that boy with whom you wanted to be all the time; he was still that boy who was all the time on your mind. It was stupid to think that he maybe could feel something more for you, it was really stupid considering he was with your sister and your sister was the prettiest girl, she was like a supermodel and you were... well, you were only friendly and this smartass. You really needed to stop having illusions with things that would never happen because it was hurting you. So there were you, now outside, feeling bereaved while you should be feeling happy for Darren's happiness and for your sister's happiness. You tried to pretend you were fine, because everybody there was cheery and you didn't want to ruin the mood. After a few minutes, Darren finally appeared now wearing a shirt and you tried to avoid his gaze. You couldn't look at him into the eyes, but you noticed how he walked to you.

_**"Freckles... I want to talk to you.**_" Darren whispered and you looked away.

_**"No, Darren, stop, please. Let's go get some cake."**_ You said nervously and quickly walking away from him.

You were trying strongly to not talk to him because he wanted to explain you what happened upstairs and you really didn't want to know. You could understand he was feeling ashamed because you saw him, but he shouldn't explain you anything at all. But the real reason of why you didn't want to hear his explanation was because you didn't want to know private issues of them because it would hurt you, because you still weren't ready to assume that they were actually dating. You walked next to Jen and you saw how your sister was now with Darren. She was very close to him and he seemed to be really uncomfortable, surely because he was still feeling ashamed. You watched them for a long, wishing that you could be your sister.

_**"It's weird to see them together."**_ Jen said making you startle because you were so focused looking at them that you forgot that she was right next to you. What a shame.

_**"Why?"**_ You asked curious, now trying to stop looking at them. Jen didn't have to notice that you were feeling kinda jealous because you were in love with Darren. No way, Jen was Darren's best friend.

_**"Because they aren't dating and anything. Now I know she's your sister and surely you love her and all... but she wasn't nice to Darren so things weren't fine."**_ Jen said shrugging. _**"It's really weird. I wonder what has happened..."**_

_**"Well, they seem to be fine for me."**_ You said looking down and you frowned when you remembered the way they were making out in Darren's bedroom, as if they were about to have sex or something. You wanted to erase that memory from your mind. _**"And why do you say that my sister hasn't been nice to Darren?" **_You asked really curious.

_**"She was ashamed of Darren. Yes, they had something but that was like a month ago or something. Darren got tired because in school your sister pretended not to know him, but outside school they were fine; so Darren couldn't take it anymore. He wasn't happy with her and when they talked about this, they broke up and Darren was happy again. I know you may not believe this, because she is your sister and it's understandable."**_ Jen whispered and you listened to her very intently.

_**"No, I believe you. That is typical of my sister. Sometimes I think she only cares about being pretty and popular and she doesn't care about others, I don't know."**_ You said shrugging and now looking at Darren and your sister again. _**"But they seem to be doing fine now, so I guess I should be happy for them."**_

_**"No, I don't think they're doing fine. I'm sorry, I don't want...you know, it's your sister... But Darren isn't happy with her. Look at them, it's obvious that Darren doesn't want to be with her; look, he's avoiding your sister's look, and he wants to get away. And don't think that he's a bad person for doing so, it's just that he's too nice to tell someone he doesn't want to be there."**_ Jen whispered, also looking at them. Maybe she was right, you didn't know. Then she looked at you frowning. _**"And why would you say that you guess you should be happy for them?"**_

_**"Uhm...well..."**_ You said nervously. _**"Well, because she's my sister and Darren is my friend and I do think that they deserve to be happy, and if they're happy, well, I guess I should be happy too."**_

_**"Yes, it's not that what I'm asking; it's the guess thing. You actually don't feel happy, do you?" **_Jen asked and you looked at her astonished. How could she have guessed such a thing? Were you too obvious or was she very instinctive?

_**"I... No... I mean yes, I feel happy."**_ You said looking down, feeling ashamed.

_**"Well, you know? Darren is my friend, and however I don't feel happy when I see him with your sister. It's not bad not to feel happy for them."**_ Jen said shrugging and you looked at her curiously. Why wouldn't she feel happy for them? Could she be still in love with Darren?

_**"Why not? I mean, why don't you feel happy for them?"**_ You asked intrigued.

_**"Because... And I'm sorry for what I'm gonna say... There's something about your sister that I don't like. I don't think she's the right person for him as I don't think he's the right person for her. They just... They don't fit together. And well, because I've seen Darren happy and I know when he's happy or not; so I can tell he isn't happy with her, even though he's aware that Mandy is the prettiest girl and all, he's not happy." **_Jen whispered looking at them over again and then she looked at you deeply. Oh wow, that was a kinda scary look. _**"And why aren't you happy for them?"**_

_**"I... I don't know..."**_ You babbled nervously, at least now admitting that you weren't happy.

_**"You like Darren, don't you?"**_ Jen suddenly asked and you looked at her terrified. Damn shit, how could she have noticed it? This wasn't good at all.

_**"No!"**_ You exclaimed loudly and nervous, and then you realized that you couldn't be more obvious. _**"I mean yes, he's my friend..."**_

_**"Yes, but what I meant... you like him more than a friend, don't you?"**_ Jen asked again and you didn't know what to do to pretend not to be as nervous as you were.

_**"No..."**_ You said frowning and looking down, lying to her. You didn't like it, but Jen couldn't know it because she was Darren's best friend and she surely was going to tell Darren all of this.

_**"Okay."**_ Jen said shrugging. _**"I'm not gonna tell this to Darren, if that is what worries you. This is a girl's talk and you're also my friend, so this is like our secret."**_

_**"But I don't like him more than as a friend."**_ You said quickly.

_**"Alright, if you say so..." **_Jen said smiling faintly. _**"However, I do think you two would make a nice couple; I've told this to Darren already." **_

_**"What?"**_ You asked in disbelief. Why would Jen tell this to Darren? And... What could Darren have answered?

_**"Yes, what you heard. Do you want to know what happened before I told him this?"**_ Jen asked looking at you amused and you just looked at her, trying not to be too obvious that you were dying to know. _**"He smiled. He smiled brightly as he always does when he's with you; I don't know if you noticed that... But he's happy when he's with you, unlike when he's with your sister." **_Jen said winking and you blushed hard. _**"Oh, I really need to taste that cake."**_ Jen said and she left you there alone, more confused than ever.

What would Jen want to say with that? Why would she tell you that? Wow, you were very confused and you started making things up in your head. What if Darren liked you more than as just a friend? What if you had a chance with him? No, it was impossible. He had your sister and she was way too much sexier and prettier than you. Why would Darren want to be with you if he had your sister? It was absurd; you reminded yourself that you needed to stop having illusions with Darren, because it won't happen ever. You glanced at them before you walked to get some cake and pretend to be feeling good again.

_**"Boys and girls... I'm really sorry but Cerine and I have an appointment now, so we'll have to leave you alone." **_Bill Criss said giggling very cheerful.

_**"Oh, you have a date!"**_ Chuck exclaimed amused, looking at his parents and they laughed.

_**"Yes, it could be named like that."**_ Cerine Criss said still chuckling, also cheerful. _**"Jen, darling, do you want us to take Joe home so you can stay here for a bit more?" **_

_**"Oh no, I wouldn't want to bother you, Cerine."**_ Jen said quickly.

_**"Not a bother. His home is on our way."**_ Cerine answered smiling kindly.

_**"Are you sure?"**_ Jen asked suspiciously.

_**"Yes, darling. Don't worry about that. We're gonna take Joe home, so you can have fun now, without the disturbing presence of adults. We were teens once."**_ Cerine said giggling, looking at Bill who nodded. What kind of parents did Darren have? They were amazing.

_**"Alright then. Thank you very much, Cerine."**_ Jen said smiling kindly.

Once that Darren's parents and Joe were gone, you all were just there, doing nothing in particular while it was getting dark. Your sister was still with Darren and Darren was still trying to get away from her, as Jen said. You were with Jen and Chuck, just talking and eating more cake.

_**"Hey, we're alone, this doesn't happen so often! We should go partying!"**_ Chuck joked, chuckling. _**"No really, I have an idea."**_

_**"What's that?"**_ Jen asked curious.

_**"The night is amazing to stay here. What if we go to Baker Beach? We could make a bonfire and play some random songs, and you know, just have fun."**_ Chuck said excited.

_**"I love this idea! I wanted to go there since a long time."**_ Jen said cheerfully.

_**"Yes, I like it too."**_ You said smiling and shrugging. After all, you loved going to the beach.

_**"So, what are we waiting for? Let's go! I'll bring my guitar."**_ Chuck said excited and you and Jen laughed. _**"Hey, you two!"**_ Chuck yelled at Darren and Mandy and they looked at him._** "We're going to Baker Beach; do you want to join us?" **_

_**"No, maybe another time..."**_ Mandy answered and you looked down. Maybe they wanted privacy.

_**"Holy shit, yes! I'm going too!"**_ Darren interrupted Mandy, looking now at you. Was he looking at you? No, maybe he was looking at Chuck who was next to you.

_**"But Darren..."**_ You heard how Mandy started complaining.

_**"I'll bring my guitar! This is gonna be awesome."**_ Darren exclaimed excited, totally avoiding what Mandy was saying and you noticed how she got irritated.

So there you were, all of you walking to Baker Beach; Darren and Chuck bringing their guitars. It was a lovely night and you have never been on a bonfire with friends before, so it could be fun. While you were walking, you were in silence and looking at the stars, which were shinning intensely; you loved that.

_**"This is always my favorite part of the night; to look at you watching the stars."**_ Darren suddenly said next to you and you looked at him before looking down nervously. Your sister was near you, you shouldn't be talking to him. _**"You have those shiny eyes when you stare the stars. It's cute."**_ Darren said shrugging and smiling warmly. _**"It's like that night, when we walked through the Golden Gate. Only that time it was better 'cause... I was doing this..."**_ Darren said and he suddenly held your hand. You got really nervous, you didn't want your sister to see this, so you quickly moved your hand away and Darren looked down.

_**"Yes, it was a good night."**_ You answered almost in a whisper, looking away and avoiding his gaze.

_**"Can I hold your hand, like that night?"**_ Darren asked and you felt really bad. Now it couldn't be like before.

_**"I don't think it's a good idea."**_ You answered coldly and it broke your heart to answer him like this. It was hard for you.

_**"It's kinda cold!" **_Mandy suddenly said, linking her arm with Darren's. _**"This way is better."**_

_**"What are you doing?"**_ You heard how Darren asked...annoyed?

Anyway, you walked away from them because you didn't want to hear their conversation because you knew it would hurt you. You walked away from them because you just couldn't see them together. And you felt really bad, not only because you wished to be your sister and you wished to be able to hold Darren's hand; but also because you were feeling very selfish. This probably wouldn't be a nice night as you thought.

* * *

_**"I swear this fire is against me, it's something personal, man."**_

I said annoyed when we were already at the beach and I was trying to make the bonfire but the flame wouldn't catch the kindling material. Everybody laughed at me, man; that wasn't funny, I was trying to make it since hours and nothing would happen. Considering I was there trying to make the bonfire and I wanted to make it alone because of my stubbornness, Chuck was now sitting on the sand playing his guitar while Jen, Mandy and Freckles were listening to him, entertained. I couldn't help it but glance at Freckles sometimes to see what she was doing and every time I glanced at her, Mandy caught me, but I didn't care. I couldn't understand why Mandy was acting with me this way, all the time very flirting, after I told her that I didn't want to have a love affair with her. The fact was that Freckles was still thinking that I had something with her sister and this was too bad.

_**"Hey Darren, hurry up! It's getting cold over here!"**_ Chuck chuckled from where he was. I knew that kind of chuckle, he was kinda tipsy surely because of the beers everybody was drinking.

_**"I said that we should have brought a quilt!"**_ Jen chuckled the same way than Chuck. Yeah, she was also kinda tipsy. _**"Darren never could make a bonfire; I don't know why we let him doing so."**_

_**"It's weird, because he really knows how to be on fire." **_Mandy chuckled seductively and everybody laughed except Freckles. Dammit, I hated Mandy for saying something like that, but I knew they all were tipsy, so I decided to ignore them.

_**"Daaaaaarreeeeen!" **_Chuck yelled still chuckling. _**"Let somebody else to do it and come here to drink a beer, bro."**_

I chuckled because it was funny to see Chuck like that, he wasn't used to be this tipsy and he was totally slurring his words. He kept singing another song while Jen started dancing, and that was also funny because Jen was always too shy to dance in public but now she was unleashed. I kept trying to make that stupid bonfire and then I saw how Mandy joined Jen; I had to admit that Mandy was a hell of damn good dancer; her movements were really sexy, man. I couldn't help it but stare at her for a while, just as Chuck was doing; but then I looked at Freckles who was only there lying on the sand and looking the stars with a warm smile, very quiet. I observed how different but how similar the sisters were. Physically they were similar, especially their lips; but personally, they were very different. Yes, Mandy could be sexy but Freckles was beautiful and so cute. I realized I was observing them way too much, so I decided to focus on the bonfire again; I needed to make it once and for all.

_**"You're doing it wrong, that's why this isn't working."**_ I heard Freckles's voice near me. I looked up to her and I stared into her big and pretty eyes for a while, seeing the girl I loved right in front of me. Holy shit, I loved her so much. _**"Look, you didn't cover the opening with a piece of wood, so the wind is blowing out the fire."**_ She said pointing me the opening that I left to place a newspaper to light the fire.

_**"You gotta be kidding me. So all this time that I wasted trying to light the fire and didn't work was because I didn't cover the opening?"**_ I asked in disbelief looking at her, feeling ashamed and making fun of myself.

_**"Exactly."**_ Freckles nodded with an amused smile, with that beautiful smile, and she kneeled to cover the opening with a piece of wood for me. _**"Now, we only have to wait for the flame to catch the kindling material, and then watch your bonfire grow."**_ She said smiling, still kneeled and looking up to me.

_**"I can't believe it, I'm such a jerk. How did you know it?"**_ I asked intrigued, now kneeling next to her. I wanted to be as close to her as I could.

_**"I'm a nerd."**_ She said shrugging and giggling.

She sat next to the bonfire, which was finally growing. I sat next to her and I dared to hold her hand and, surprisingly, she let me doing so; so I took advantage to move closer to her, still holding her hand. I looked at her deeply into her eyes.

_**"You're not a nerd. You're just smarter than the average and that's pretty awesome."**_ I said smiling warmly at her.

_**"Yes, whatever."**_ She shrugged again and looked at the bonfire. Whoa man, she looked gorgeous when the bonfire was lighting her face. It was inexplicable; I was only amazed by her beauty.

_**"You're so beautiful."**_ I whispered without thinking what I was saying. Fuck, I said it out loud.

_**"What?"**_ She looked at me frowning and I felt super nervous.

_**"Nothing, that you... the night and the bonfire... it's beautiful."**_ I said very nervous, almost babbling. Why wouldn't I finally admit that I actually said she was the one who was beautiful? Such a coward.

_**"Yes, it's very beautiful."**_ She said giggling amused.

_**"No."**_ I shook my head, trying to be brave and finally admit what I was feeling for her. I needed to do it, I wanted her to know that I loved her; I wanted to be with her so badly. _**"I actually said that you are beautiful. You're so beautiful, Freckles."**_ I finally admitted looking deeply into her eyes and holding firmly her hand, feeling this thing called adrenalin.

_**"I... well, wow."**_ She chuckled nervously with eyes wide open because of her astonishment. _**"Thank you, Darren... but... I'm not..."**_ She said avoiding my gaze, but I lifted her chin so she looked into my eyes again. Man, I was feeling this extreme adrenalin and it was almost unbearable.

_**"Can't you see it, Freckles?"**_ I asked almost in a whisper, feeling more nervous and excited than ever. I was about to confess her my real feelings and this was like the craziest thing I've ever done.

_**"See what? Darren... I'm not beautiful and I deal with it since a long time, I don't care..."**_ She said still nervous.

_**"You're the most beautiful and outstanding girl I've ever met, outside and inside. If you only knew..."**_ I whispered again, feeling how my heart was beating very fast; now holding both of her hands and moving even closer; we were so close.

_**"If I only knew what?"**_ She asked nervous and curious, frowning. This was the time I needed to tell her, it was time. Be brave, Darren, be brave.

_**"If you only knew how crazy you drive me."**_ I finally said and this was crazy, the way my heart was beating fast was crazy, the way my body was trembling, expecting to hear her answer was crazy.

_**"What?"**_ She asked kinda terrified, with eyes wide open and raising her eyebrows. _**"Are you trying to say that I annoy you or something? I'm sorry if I ever made you feel mad...I didn't..."**_

_**"No, Freckles."**_ I interrupted her, shaking my head and feeling very anxious and edgy. _**"You drive me crazy because you're this outstanding person... because you make me feel this need to be with you all the time and I love it, I love when I'm with you and it's all I want..."**_ I said stuttering because I was so edgy; I couldn't believe I was telling her this. I moved even closer and now my lips were only six inches from hers. _**"Freckles, I'm in lo..."**_

_**"Darren! You finally made it!"**_ Chuck exclaimed behind us and Freckles moved away from me really quickly, with a terrified face. Dammit, Chuck. This was unbelievable. Why every time I wanted to tell her my real feelings something had to interrupt me? Shit, I was so annoyed.

_**"Yeah..."**_ I answered bitterly looking away and running my fingers through my curls.

_**"Awesome! Hey everybody! Come over here, Darren made it!"**_ Chuck yelled excited and Jen and Mandy walked over where we were. _**"Let's sing here!"**_ Chuck said sitting between Freckles and me.

_**"Wow, Darren! I really thought you weren't going to make it. I'm impressed."**_ Jen giggled and sat next to Freckles.

_**"You're fire, Criss."**_ Mandy whispered seductively in my ear, kissing the corner of my mouth and I turned my face, even more annoyed. She didn't notice my annoyance and she sat next to me, placing her hand on my thigh and I quickly moved it away.

I couldn't believe I was interrupted this way and now Mandy was all over me again. I was really mad at her because she was aware of the conversation we had in my bedroom, she knew I didn't want to have a love affair with her, because even though she was so sexy, I wasn't in love with her and I didn't feel for her the same that I felt for her at the beginning of this school year. I figured out that we wouldn't work together because we were very different and we didn't fit together; and there was Freckles now. I glanced at Freckles and she was now giggling along with Chuck and I felt jealous again. And then I saw how Chuck wrapped an arm around her and rubbed her back, still giggling. What the fuck was that? I was so mad, man. I couldn't let it happen, I couldn't stand seeing my own brother being this cuddly with her and less I couldn't stand seeing her enjoying it because... What if she now had feelings for my brother? I wouldn't be able to stand it at all. I needed to do something and quickly and the first thing that popped in my mind was to grab my guitar. If I couldn't tell Freckles what I was feeling for her, then I was going to sing a song that expressed my feelings for her. I didn't care if others would notice which the meaning of the song was, I was going to do it.

_**"I'd like to sing something, now that you all are in mood to hear songs."**_ I said ripping the guitar and I noticed how everybody looked at me. Then I looked intensely into Freckles' eyes. _**"As some of you already know, I do think that music is the best way to express things that sometimes we can't express with words, so here I go."**_ I said still looking deeply into Freckles' eyes.

_**"Oh, come on Darren! Just sing it; we all want to hear you sing!"**_ Chuck exclaimed excited and then finally he unwrapped his arm around Freckles and I felt a bit better.

I didn't answer; I just looked at Freckles for a while. Honestly, I didn't care if others would figure out that this song was dedicated to Freckles, I wanted her to figure it out, it was my point and I was determined. Without taking my eyes off her, I started singing. I thought this was the most accurate song for this situation.

_I like the way you sound in the morning_

_We're on the phone and without a warning_

_I realize your laugh is the best sound_

_I have ever heard._

_I like the way I can't keep my focus_

_I watch you talk, you didn't notice_

_I hear the words but all I can think is_

_We should be together_

_Every time you smile, I smile_

_And every time you shine, I'll shine for you._

_Whoa oh, I'm feeling you baby_

_Don't be afraid to_

_Jump then fall_

_Jump then fall into me_

_Be there, never gonna leave you_

_Say that you wanna be with me too_

_So I'm a stay through it all_

_So jump then fall._

_I like the way your hair falls in your face_

_You got the keys to me_

_I love each freckle on your face, oh_

_I've never been so wrapped up, honey_

_I like the way you're everything I ever wanted._

_I had time to think it oh, over_

_And all I can say is come closer_

_Take a deep breath then jump then fall into me_

_Cause every time you smile, I smile_

_And every time you shine, I'll shine for you._

_Whoa oh, I'm feeling you baby_

_Don't be afraid to_

_Jump then fall_

_Jump then fall into me_

_Be there, never gonna leave you_

_Say that you wanna be with me too_

_So I'm a stay through it all_

_So jump then fall._

_The bottom's gonna drop out from under our feet_

_I'll catch you, I'll catch you_

_And people say things that bring you to your knees_

_I'll catch you_

_The time is gonna come when you're so mad you could cry_

_But I'll hold you through the night until you smile._

_Whoa oh, I need you baby_

_Don't be afraid, please_

_Jump then fall_

_Jump then fall into me_

_Be there, never gonna leave you_

_Say that you wanna be with me too_

_So I'm a stay through it all_

_So jump then fall_

_Jump then fall baby_

_Jump then fall into me, into me._

_Every time you smile, I smile_

_And every time you shine, I shine_

_And every time you're here_

_Baby I'll show you, I'll show you_

_You can jump then fall, jump then fall_

_Jump then fall into me, into me, yeah._

I didn't take my eyes off her during all the song long; I sang it looking deeply into her eyes, trying to tell her with my eyes what I was feeling, just as she taught me that time in hospital when she tried to tell me something with her gaze. I tried to make her feel this song was dedicated to her and only to her, I tried to make her feel that this was completely honest as it really was. I didn't even bother to look at the others to see their faces, I didn't care. And Freckles looked down when I finished singing. Could she have noticed this was for her? Or could she be uncomfortable with this song because she didn't feel the same for me? Neither of the two options were good, but most definitely one of the options was the right one, because she didn't seem to be happy. I knew that something like this could happen, but I never thought that maybe I wasn't ready to deal with it, of being kind of rejected by her. Shit, I needed to be alone with her; I really needed to talk to her. I finally looked away because it was hurtful, the first person I saw was Chuck who was raising his eyebrows in surprise and then I looked at Jen who was looking at me astonished and kind of nervous. Really, was it a terrible idea to have sung that song? I didn't think it was too bad, but I guess I was wrong judging by their faces.

_**"That song is so cute!"**_ Mandy exclaimed excited next to me and I sighed, now looking at my lap and putting my guitar aside. _**"How did you notice I have freckles on my face?"**_

_**"What?"**_ I asked in disbelief now looking at Mandy frowning. I didn't want to be rude with her, but she was making me feel very annoyed and I didn't want to be with her; I couldn't believe she thought this song was for her. _**"I'm sorry Amanda, but the song wasn't for you."**_

_**"Oh..."**_ She whispered faintly and looking away, apparently ashamed. I felt bad for it, as if I were a bad person. But what could I do? I didn't want to lie.

_**"Alright!"**_ Chuck exclaimed loudly and nervously. _**"I think we should change this topic..." **_

_**"Then... For who was this song?"**_ Mandy asked intrigued and apparently a bit upset and a bit anguished.

_**"I agree with you, Chuck! We should do something else!"**_ Jen exclaimed just as loudly as Chuck, also nervously.

_**"I think is nothing of your business."**_ I replied a bit coldly. Goddamn, I shouldn't be so rude.

_**"I think I deserve to know. I mean, I'm your girlfriend."**_ Mandy said now really upset.

_**"What did you say?"**_ I asked also upset.

_**"What about a game, guys?"**_ Chuck exclaimed almost yelling, even more edgy.

_**"I think you're not getting this, Amanda. You aren't my girlfriend and you know it. Why do you act now as if...?"**_ I started asking really mad.

_**"Yes, a game it's cool!"**_ Jen said also almost yelling, interrupting me.

_**"So... How do you call what we had and what we have, huh?"**_ Mandy asked furiously.

_**"Are you fucking serious?"**_ I asked rabidly.

_**"Stop it!"**_ Freckles finally yelled and I looked abruptly at her, and now everybody was silent. She was frowning but she didn't seem to be angry, she was more like distressed; so I felt really bad._** "Why don't we just play a game?" **_

_**"Yes, please."**_ Chuck said sighing in relief. _**"What about... Uhm... Never have I ever game?"**_

_**"Yes, yes, let's play it."**_ Jen said hurriedly, as if she didn't care what kind of game we could play, she only wanted to change the topic of conversation.

_**"Alright... Everybody knows how this game is?"**_ Chuck asked and Jen and Mandy nodded, I didn't answer because I wasn't in mood and Freckles shook her head. _**"Okay, I'll explain you. In the game, each one of us has to say a simple statement starting with Never have I ever. Everyone who has done the thing the person says must drink; if not, then you don't drink. So the game reveals interesting things about the others, it's like a way we can know more about the other. Did you get it?"**_ Chuck asked looking at Freckles.

_**"Yes, I guess so..."**_ Freckles answered shyly.

_**"I don't think is a good game."**_ I finally said grumpy, but actually I said it because I noticed Freckles was a bit nervous about it.

_**"Oh please, bro! You've played it several times and you know it's funny." **_Chuck insisted.

_**"That's right, Darren. It's just a game."**_ Jen said.

_**"It's not just a game. I know you guys, and you'll start saying compromising statements, and it could be uncomfortable."**_ I said moody, looking away.

_**"We promise to behave this time. Just innocent statements."**_ Chuck assured.

_**"I guess it could be fun."**_ Freckles finally said shrugging.

Oh no, she didn't really know in what she was getting into. But maybe... Maybe it could help me to know more private things about her... there was still a lot of things I wanted to know about her, like who this Bobby guy was.

_**"Alright, alright. Let's play it."**_ I finally said and both Chuck and Jen smiled widely.

_**"Great! Everybody just grab a beer; I'll start!"**_ Chuck exclaimed excited and everybody did what Chuck said. _**"Never have I ever embarrassed myself in public, looking like a fool."**_ Chuck said giggling.

All of us drank a sip of beer, of course; even Mandy. Well, I've never seen her embarrassing herself in public, she was very careful about it. So everybody started telling the stories of when they were embarrassed in public. Well, that was funny; it was really funny to hear all of those stories. Maybe this game wasn't a bad idea after all.

_**"Okay, my turn."**_ Jen said amused. _**"Never have I ever prank called anyone."**_

Once again, everybody took a sip of beer, all of us laughing and telling our stories again. Now it was Freckles' turn. What would she ask? I was intrigued.

_**"Uhm... Never have I ever cheated on a test or exam."**_ Freckles said amused.

Well, it was an innocent question and surely she wouldn't drink this time. Jen, Mandy, Chuck and I took a sip and I got very but very amazed when I saw Freckles taking a sip. What?

_**"Did you?"**_ I asked still amazed and amused.

_**"I did!"**_ She said laughing.

_**"I can't believe it."**_ I said shaking my head and laughing out loud. _**"Okay, my turn."**_ I said. I've been thinking what I could ask to get an answer from Freckles and this was the best I could think of for the moment. _**"Never have I ever been so in love with somebody." **_I said looking fixedly into Freckles' eyes.

I didn't see if others took a sip of beer or not because I didn't care. I took a sip, thinking about her and I got surprised when Freckles also took a sip. Whoa. So she was in love sometime, or maybe she was still in love. The thing now was that I needed to find out with who she was in love. Man, I wished so much I could be that person, but it couldn't be possible, not after the way she looked when I finished singing the song.

_**"It's my turn!" **_Mandy exclaimed. _**"Never have I ever laughed until something I was drinking came out of my nose."**_

_**"Oh my god!"**_ Chuck exclaimed laughing out loud as he took a sip of beer.

This time, only Chuck, Mandy and I took a sip. The game continued with silly and funny questions and it came a point that everybody was very tipsy that we were laughing out loud without stopping. The night was kinda cold but I wasn't cold at all, I was feeling hot and I felt how my cheeks were like burning. I looked at Freckles and at first it was kinda hard to focus my sight. Damn, man, I was so tipsy. But I saw her, and she also had her cheeks very rosy and she was giggling constantly. Whoa man, she was precious and I wanted to kiss her so badly.

_**"My turn! My turn!" **_Jen exclaimed giggling. That was funny, to see Jen tipsy. _**"Never have I ever farted and blamed it on a pet." **_Jen said chuckling and looking at me.

_**"Damn Jen!"**_ I said frowning but laughing. _**"I hate you so very much."**_

I was the only one who took a sip of beer, but then I saw Freckles also taking a sip. Oh dude, that was so freaking funny. I mean, Freckles? Farting and blaming it on a pet? She was surprising me the way too much and it was amazing.

_**"Holy shit! Freckles! You too?"**_ I asked totally amused and laughing out loud.

_**"What? Those things happen sometimes."**_ She replied shrugging and laughing as everybody laughed along with her.

_**"Alright, my turn!"**_ Chuck said almost yelling. _**"Never have I ever played spin-the-bottle."**_ Well, everybody took a sip except Freckles. And Chuck looked at her astonished exaggeratedly. _**"Haven't you played it?"**_ He asked and Freckles shook her head. _**"Oh girl, you have to play it! Let's all play spin-the-bottle!"**_

_**"Yay!"**_ Jen exclaimed still giggling, totally tipsy. She wouldn't say it if she was sober.

_**"No."**_ I refused shaking my head energetically. There was no way I wanted to play that game. No, what if I'd have to stand seeing Freckles kissing Chuck? No, not at all. I wasn't going to play it.

_**"Fine. Darren is out. Let's play the four of us!"**_ Chuck said again excited.

_**"What? No!"**_ I yelled exaggeratedly.

_**"Don't be a party pooper, Darren!"**_ Jen snorted but chuckled.

_**"Do you want to play it?"**_ Chuck asked looking at Freckles.

_**"Why not?"**_ She replied shrugging and giggling. No, she was tipsy so that's why she wanted to play it.

_**"Great! Let's play it. Anyone else besides Darren doesn't want to play it?"**_ Chuck asked and no one answered.

_**"Alright, I'll play!"**_ I said quickly. If they were going to play it, then I was going to play it so Freckles won't have more chances to kiss Chuck; or maybe I could get a chance to kiss her and that would be great.

Jen grabbed one empty beer bottle and we sat in a circle, so she placed it on the sand in the center of the circle. Freckles was right in front of me, so I could see her perfectly from where I was. Jen was the first to spin the bottle and like this, the game started. Man, I don't know why I was doing this, I shouldn't have let to play this game; but there I was, wishing that Freckles wouldn't kiss anyone. The bottle finally stopped spinning and it pointed to Mandy.

_**"Oh my God! Girls kiss! This is gonna be interesting to see."**_ Chuck exclaimed laughing out loud and I couldn't help it but giggling.

_**"Shut up, Chuck!"**_ Jen said also giggling.

Jen and Mandy walked to be near enough to kiss. I couldn't believe I was about to see something like that, Jen and Mandy? Like... Jen didn't like Mandy at all and now she had to kiss her, it was like kissing your enemy or something like that. But Jen was so tipsy that she didn't mind to do it and I checked it when they finally kissed slightly on the lips. Chuck cheered excited and laughing and I knew that he always wanted to see two girls kissing; it was like his fantasy or something like that. I only giggled softly. When they broke the kiss, Mandy was the one who had to spin the bottle. I wished so much that the bottle wouldn't stop on me, not when Freckles was there, I didn't want it. I was very nervous but I felt relieved when the bottle stopped on Chuck.

_**"Oh well, now I'm gonna know which one of the Criss brothers is the best kisser."**_ Mandy said laughing and a bit seductively, now walking to Chuck who was looking at her fixedly.

Damn, why did she have to mention such a thing? I observed Freckles who was now looking down and smiling faintly, as if she was laughing minutes before and when her sister mentioned it, she felt annoyed or bad. Or maybe I was just making up things in my mind. I saw how Mandy and Chuck kissed each other; this kiss was longer than the kiss between her and Jen; it was longer but it was a common kiss, not passionately and all that shit. Then they broke the kiss and Mandy looked at me with a mischievous smile. Oh man, why? I didn't like that look, so I just played fool.

_**"This is a hard decision, but for sure both of the Criss brothers know how to kiss a girl."**_ She said sensually and I looked away, still playing fool. _**"Anyway, I guess I choose you, Darren." **_

Holy shit, Amanda. Why did you have to say that? I didn't want to know it; I didn't care what she was thinking about me and my kisses or whatever. I only glanced at Freckles on the sly and I noticed she was looking away, now kinda serious. This wasn't good. Of course I didn't answer. And now it was Chuck's turn to spin the bottle. If I was nervous before now I was scared the shit out of me.

_**"Please, please, please, don't stop on Freckles. Please, please, Chuck doesn't have to kiss her."**_ I thought on my mind nervously, looking intently at the bottle. _**"Oh crap."**_

The bottle stopped on Freckles and I didn't know how to stop the game right now, but I needed to stop it. No, I couldn't let they kiss each other. No freaking way. I saw how Chuck walked to Freckles laughing and I saw Freckles frowning amused. Why did she seem to be amused? Did she want to kiss my brother? Dude, no! I tried to stand up and stop with all of this, but Mandy caught me off guard and she pulled me closer to her and I felt so annoyed that I didn't notice that I abruptly moved away from her, now looking at her very upset. And then I saw right where Chuck and Freckles were and it was too late. Chuck leaned to kiss Freckles' lips and I felt so jealous, so jealous than never before; not only jealous but also I felt this ugly feeling of anger and rage. I noticed how both of them laughed during the kiss, as if they were happy and man I swear I can't understand how I didn't stand up in that moment and I pulled them away. And actually I knew why I didn't do it: because it was such the anger I was feeling, that I wouldn't be able to control my impulses to punch my brother and I couldn't do it, because Chuck was an amazing brother despite our silly arguments and because, after all, this was only a game. A very stupid game. I only clenched my fists and tensed my jaw while looking at them fixedly while they were kissing. The only good thing about this was that the kiss didn't last too much, even though it seemed an eternity to me. When they broke the kiss they looked at each other and they laughed. Why were they laughing? Oh my god; what if they liked each other and I was there, like a bother to them? I never thought very well about it; all this time I was thinking only about me and my feelings for Freckles that I didn't stop to think about if she liked my brother and my brother liked her. I was very selfish, but I couldn't help it. Suddenly my rage turned into sadness. I didn't want to think it was like that, because then I wouldn't know what to do and I wouldn't know how to stand it.

_**"So, this is the famous game."**_ I heard Freckles saying and laughing.

Now it was Freckles' turn to spin the bottle and I really wanted to be that guy who could kiss her now. But it wasn't my lucky day. The bottle stopped on Jen; well, fortunately it wasn't Chuck again. I heard how Freckles and Jen laughed out loud, but I couldn't laugh, not after the kiss between my brother and her.

_**"I never kissed a girl, and now it's gonna be the second time on a night! Unbelievable!" **_I heard Jen laughing.

So then Jen and Freckles kissed very slightly on the lips and then they burst out laughing. Definitely both of them were tipsy. Who wasn't? Even I was tipsy, I could feel it. Jen spun the bottle again and I took advantage to look at Freckles, who was giggling on a way that she seemed to be very entertained.

_**"Darren! Like the old times!"**_ I heard Jen exclaiming loudly and then I looked at the bottle, which was pointing at me. I couldn't help it but laughing softly.

_**"Like the old times!"**_ I said now when Jen was walking to me.

She kneeled next to me and then she kissed me on the lips. It was a slight kiss, as if this was our very first kiss. It wasn't, but both of us knew that we were only meant to be friends, so it wasn't an intense kiss like the ones we had when we dated in the past. We quickly broke the kiss and we looked at each other frowning amused.

_**"No, definitely, no."**_ Jen said giggling.

_**"I agree. Only friends."**_ I said laughing.

Now it was my turn to spin the bottle and I was so anxious. Please, this time it needed to be Freckles, but this wasn't being my lucky day so I didn't know if I could get that chance. I wanted to kiss her so badly, I wanted to show her that my kiss would be real and it wasn't because of the game. I only grabbed the bottle and I spun it, feeling how my heart was beating fast while I was looking the bottle spinning. And it stopped. I looked up to see who the person I had to kiss was. It was between Freckles and Jen. Oh Jen, I love you so much. Jen moved away from the bottle very surreptitiously, so then the bottle seemed to be pointing only at Freckles. Freckles was looking at the bottle in silence and she didn't look up, she wasn't smiling at all and I felt kinda bad. Was I going to do the right thing? Anyway, I walked to her and I kneeled next to her. She didn't look up. I felt bad; I couldn't do it even though I wanted it so badly. But I couldn't be selfish; I needed to think about her and what she wanted. So I leaned my head but not to kiss her, I leaned to whisper in her ear on the sly.

_**"We don't have to do this if you don't want. I respect you."**_ I whispered kindly, knowing that I was doing the right thing and dying inside to kiss her.

That was the time when she looked up to me and smiled softly. She smiled at me and I felt meek, I felt this affection I had for her; an affection that it didn't care if I was dying to kiss her, because seeing her, smiling that way, was amazing to me.

_**"It's fine for me."**_ She answered shrugging and I felt my heart beating very fast.

_**"Are you sure? Listen, if you don't want, we can pretend we're kissing but actually we aren't."**_ I said with trembling voice. Man, I needed to control myself.

_**"Yes, it's fine. But hey, if you don't want... Well, if you don't want it and you feel uncomfortable, we can pretend it, as you said."**_ Freckles whispered.

_**"No, no!"**_ I exclaimed quickly. _**"I want this."**_ I said looking deeply into her eyes and smiling at her. Yeah, why would I lie to her? I couldn't hide my feelings for her any longer.

_**"So...well..."**_ Freckles started babbling nervously and I couldn't help it but giggling because it was very sweet to me.

_**"Leave that to me."**_ I said smiling widely, because yeah, I couldn't stop smiling like a fool.

I leaned and I nuzzled my nose with hers, without taking my eyes off her, while she was also looking into my eyes. I smiled in front of her lips. First, I needed to let her know that this kiss wouldn't be part of this game to me; I needed to let her know that this kiss was a proof of what I was feeling for her. Surprisingly, she also smiled in front of my lips, but she didn't do any movement. So I brushed my lips on hers very slightly, feeling the warmth of her lips and enjoying it. When she felt my lips on hers, she closed her eyes and I placed a hand on the nape of her head before closing my eyes to start kissing her lips. I started kissing her lips very smoothly at first because what I wanted to do was to show her that I really wanted to do this with her; but I let myself to carry away when I started kissing the girl I loved. Man, I felt how my body was trembling of happiness and I felt my heart beating fast, but not because I was nervous, because I was very happy. I placed my other hand on her cheek and I pulled her closer to deepen the kiss. Surprisingly, she let me doing it and she let me explore her mouth with my tongue. Everything around me vanished and it was only her and me. The happiness I was feeling for this and summing the effects of the alcohol, made me feel turned on. I needed to stop kissing her if I didn't want something uncomfortable to happen, because I started to feel tight. But I couldn't stop, I was enjoying this way too much and I wanted more. Geez, she was driving me crazy. The slight kiss turned into a fervent kiss, full of emotions. Dude, I wanted so badly she could feel this I was feeling for her. And then I felt her hand on my curls and I went crazy. I felt how she was breathing fast against me and I knew I was also breathing fast against her, but instead stopping, we deepened the kiss. I lowered my hand from her neck to her waist and I pulled her even closer, as she started running her fingers through my curls. Goddammit, it felt so damn good. We didn't notice we were in presence of people until someone spoke: Amanda.

_**"Well, well, I think it was enough!"**_ She exclaimed edgy and loudly.

And that was the time when Freckles quickly moved away from me, looking down and very nervous and embarrassed. Everybody was looking at us with eyes wide open and raising eyebrows, astonished. I hated Amanda so much right now. I only wanted to kiss Freckles again; oh man, I wanted it like hell. I moved closer to Freckles again and I looked straight into her lips before looking up into her eyes. Wow, she was the girl I wanted to be with all my life, and now I was more than sure. Freckles was now looking at me shyly and she was blushing.

_**"I'm sorry..."**_ She whispered so nobody could hear except me.

_**"Please, don't be sorry."**_ I whispered almost begging, looking into her big eyes. _**"I'd never regret this kiss..."**_ I said now looking at her lips and I moved closer so our lips were very close again. I just couldn't help it; her lips were like calling me.

_**"Darren..."**_ Freckles whispered weakly in front my lips. _**"I don't think..."**_

_**"I love you, so much."**_ I whispered in front of her lips, caressing her cheek very smoothly and looking deeply and fondly into her eyes. Finally, I said it to her.


	18. Welcome to my life

A/N: Alright guys! New chapter is up! I'm glad for your reviews! I thought that maybe I could thank you personally this time with the last reviews and I'm gonna do the same in the next chapters! So now I'm gonna take a time to answer you so... Here I go!

caarolineboeira1: First of all, thank you a lot for always giving me your opinion of how the story is developing! You really make me smile when I read your comments, they're so expressive and more than once you made me feel moved with your words! :) You wrote "all this time Darren and Freckles weren't together yet, just made their love grow" Well, that's true; at least is what I wanted to do!

Kaylacriss332: Cliffhanger, yes! I don't know, it's like I have an obsession with cliffhangers, but you surely already noticed it! I don't know why I do always have to end a chapter with a cliffhanger, for some reason I think that this way you'll be more excited to read the next chapter. Well, I kind of like the suspense! haha

Guest: You wrote this: "they better get together or at least flirt a LOT more in the next chapter!" Well, well, you'll find it out now! ;) I think you'll like the next chapters, not sure about this one, though! And thank you for your lovely words! :)

LiesMiranda: You already know that I'm very thankful, you've always supported me and you've helped me to improve my writing! I owe you a lot! You wrote this: "Can't wait to see the return of W, I'm sure we've spent enough time without him and he'll be making a scary return soon!" W: He, she, they or it? W will come back soon; and yes... The return is gonna be quite interesting, I think, I hope! And I think you'll hate W, very much.

A: Thank you a lot for your words! I tried to make it cute and innocent and... What better than doing it with games in between? I found it funny and maybe accurate, considering they're teens and they're discovering this new thing called love, that is such a beautiful part of life!

amanecerita83: Aww thanks! Thank you for support me and all of your reviews! Well, in this chapter and in the next chapters you'll find out how they end up! What do you think? How should they end up? ;)

Gabby: haha you made me laugh! You seem pretty excited and that makes me happy! I'm glad you're happy for what is happening! Let's see how you feel in this new chapter! :)

Okay, that's all for today, guys! Oh yeah, by the way, I was thinking... Maybe this would be even more entertaining and more interactive for me and also for you if you ask me some things you want to know about everything you want: About me, about the story, about the characters, about the weather or about the sky, I don't whatever! haha And also I was thinking that it'd be interesting if you tell me what is the line that you liked the most in the chapter from now on! And tips to improve my writing are always welcome! Okay, okay, I think I've talked (actually written) a lot for today. Soooooo, I'll let you read this new chapter! Enjoy and until next Saturday!

* * *

**Teenage Dream – Part 18 – Welcome to my life.**

* * *

You were very tipsy after that game of "Never have I ever" or whatever. The point was that you shouldn't have played it even though it was funny; you shouldn't have played it because the only and last time you drank before, things didn't end in a good way. However this time was different, because you weren't feeling sick like that time; you were feeling only a bit dizzy and everything seemed funny, you couldn't stop laughing and you felt hot even though it was cold. You barely could talk properly and you were more cheeky and sassy than ever; somehow, nothing seemed embarrassing to you at this point. Summing up, you were having a good time, until you decided to play the spin the bottle game. The first person that you had to kiss was Chuck, you couldn't believe that you were kissing Darren's brother; but he made you feel this was only a game so you didn't feel uncomfortable. He even joked during the kiss. You still could remember his words before he kissed you.

_**"I dare you to look at my little bro's face after we kiss. I bet he'll be jealous."**_ Chuck whispered before he kissed you.

Why would he say something like that? And why would he mention Darren? You couldn't get it, that didn't have sense. Anyway, after you kissed you glanced at Darren as Chuck challenged you, and you noticed something weird on Darren's face, but you couldn't call that jealousy.

_**"This is not gonna work for us."**_ Chuck said shaking his head and serious but then he giggled and you giggled along with him. _**"Really... Don't you want to try this with my little bro?"**_

_**"What are you talking about?"**_ You asked frowning and giggling. Oh wow, why couldn't you stop laughing? This wasn't a funny thing.

_**"Nothing at all. Only that you two could make it better. Just... instinct."**_ Chuck said amused and then he walked away, leaving you there, confused.

What could Chuck have wanted to say with that? At this point nothing had sense to you, but somehow, at the same time, everything had sense and it was funny. Damn, you were confusing things and this wasn't good, but, at the same time, it seemed to be good in this moment. Yes, something inexplicable and you couldn't understand anything, you only were aware that you were having a good time. After you had to kiss Jen, the first girl you kissed ever, it was her turn to spin the bottle again and it stopped on Darren. You remembered when Darren told you that Jen was like his first love but it didn't work for them; so you understood what Jen wanted to say when she spoke.

_**"Darren! Like the old times!"**_ She exclaimed giggling exaggeratedly. Surely she was just as tipsy as you were.

Anyway, that was funny to you, considering you knew their story; and it seemed even funnier when both of them agreed that it wouldn't work like the old times. You and Chuck laughed, but your sister remained looking at them confused. Maybe Darren didn't tell her about the little love affair he and Jen had. In that case, you felt a bit good; because there were things you knew about Darren that your sister didn't know, even though she was like his girlfriend or whatever. The point was that now it was Darren's turn to spin the bottle. Inside, you really wanted the bottle to stop on you because you wanted to kiss him over again; you wanted to feel all of those feelings you felt when he kissed you for the very first time, that time before you lost your memory, that time you remembered pretty well but you didn't admit it to Darren. You wanted to get that perfect kiss from him at least for the last time, because you knew that you'd never get it again considering that he was with your sister. He was with your sister and you wanted to kiss your sister's boyfriend. Oh boy, it felt so wrong; you were being like a bitch. You just couldn't want your sister's boyfriend, even though you've been in love with him since years. Hush! You needed to stop thinking about all of this, you should remember that Darren was your sister's boyfriend and you'd never be able to be with him, the guy you've been in love since the first time you saw him. And in any case, Darren would never want to be with you if he had your sister, because your sister was the prettiest girl ever and you were just a geek, as people were used to call you. But the bottle stopped on you and you started feeling nervous as hell; not to mention when he walked to you with his amazing smile.

_**"We don't have to do this if you don't want. I respect you."**_ He whispered and you gulped.

You really didn't know what to answer. It was so nice from him to say that he respected you, but on the other hand, you started to think that maybe he was saying that because he didn't want to kiss you and it was understandable. Who would want to kiss a girl like you? So you only looked up and smiled softly, even though inside you were feeling very insecure.

_**"It's fine for me."**_ You answered shrugging, pretending to be indifferent, pretending you considered this as only a game.

_**"Are you sure? Listen, if you don't want, we can pretend we're kissing but actually we aren't." **_He said and you started to think that the most probably option was that he didn't want to do this.

_**"Yes, it's fine. But hey, if you don't want... Well, if you don't want it and you feel uncomfortable, we can pretend it, as you said."**_ You whispered nervously, trying to still pretend indifference, but it was hard and it wasn't working. You were feeling anguished and you knew you shouldn't feel like that but you couldn't help it.

_**"No, no!"**_ He suddenly exclaimed and you looked at him frowning. You had to contain yourself not to laugh because it was actually funny the way he said it so abruptly. _**"I want this."**_ He said looking into your eyes and your heart started beating faster.

Oh goodness, he wanted it; he said he wanted it and you started making up things on your mind. Why did he say he wanted it? Maybe to make you feel better because he noticed you were kinda anguished. No, it couldn't be that because you pretended to be indifferent. But there was no other explanation. Then you felt how he leaned and you thought he was going to kiss you quickly and slightly, but instead, he nuzzled his nose with yours and it was so cute so you couldn't help it but smile in front of his lips. And then he brushed his lips on yours and you closed your eyes as soon as you felt the contact and the warmth of his lips. Oh, his lips tasted so good and were very soft... He started kissing very smoothly and very gently, as if he was feeling shy. You knew the kiss wouldn't last considering the way it started, but you were wrong. He placed one of his hands on the nape of your neck and the other one on your cheek; then he pulled you closer and he deepened the kiss. Oh lord, it was feeling so damn good. You forgot where you were, you forgot about your sister, you forgot about all the shitty things that were happening and you only focused on this amazing moment. He was making you feel weird, as if you were wanted, as if you were loved; he made you feel as if you were like in a dream, a very good dream. It was awesome the way he could make you tremble of joy, the way he could bright you, and the way he could give you goosebumps. You let yourself to carry away by the kiss because, hell, this was what you always wanted, you were kissing the guy you loved and... What could be more perfect than that? Even though this was part of the game, you let yourself to think this was a real kiss. After all, no one could find out you were feeling this kiss like a real thing, and not like a game; no one could find out your feelings for Darren; so you took advantage of this, you had the excuse it was a game. So you dared to run your fingers through Darren's soft curls. Oh geez, his curls were so soft and flawless. You knew you were carrying away way too much, but you didn't care. The alcohol and the desire you had to kiss him all night long were stronger than the conscious part of your mind which was telling you this wasn't right. When he lowered his hand from your neck to your waist, you felt very turned on and you knew that now you wouldn't be able to stop and control yourself. You were feeling wild, your body was trembling, you were breathing fast and your heart was pounding; all of that were symptoms that this was one of the best moments of your life. You weren't aware of where you were until your sister interrupted both of you.

_**"Well, well, I think it was enough!"**_ She exclaimed edgy and loudly.

You felt how everybody was looking at you and you felt very ashamed. They were observing you and Darren kissing fiercely and it was very embarrassing. You kissed him fiercely and your sister, Darren's girlfriend, was there watching you. You felt bad, as if you didn't have any kind of respect for her. What kind of person were you now? This was wrong, so wrong. You moved away from Darren and you started blushing; now feeling very shy. But then Darren moved closer to you to whisper something in front of your lips while caressing your cheek very kindly. He said something that made your heart skip a beat.

_**"I love you, so much." **_

No, he couldn't have said it; he was tipsy, that's why he said so. There was no way that Darren could feel such a thing for you, it was impossible. But anyway, a feeling of extreme happiness grew on your heart when he said those words. It was the most precious and lovely thing that someone has ever told you. You wanted so much to tell him that you loved him so much as well; but you couldn't, because there was your sister.

_**"No, Darren..."**_ You started saying nervously, now looking down because you couldn't look into his eyes any longer. His eyes were killing you.

_**"Freckles, please..."**_ He whispered supplicant, now looking at you with that kind of look which was making him look as a puppy. And he said your name, he was aware it was you. _**"Please, tell me that you love me too. Tell me that you love me back." **_He said now nuzzling his nose on yours while you forgot again you weren't alone.

_**"I love you too."**_ You whispered in front of his lips, feeling that urge to kiss him again. But no, then you remembered your sister again. You needed to fix this now. _**"You're my best friend, Darren, of course I love you."**_

_**"No... I love you more than that."**_ He whispered and sighed in front of your lips before you felt his lips on yours again.

Oh boy, oh boy, this was feeling so good and you didn't have the strength to break the kiss; because, after all, you didn't want to break the kiss. How could you stop kissing the boy you loved? It was impossible. Geez, you started to feel turned on again. Why was this happening anyway? Why was Darren kissing you again and why was he telling you that he loved you? The only explanation was that he was drunk so he wasn't aware of what he was doing or saying, he was going to forget this and he was going to regret this the next day. And you were tired of pretending that nothing happened, because everything was happening for you, because this was the best that could be happening to you, but it wasn't for him. And you were tired of being hurt. Yes, you needed to stop the kiss, for the good of the two of you.

_**"Darren, no, stop."**_ You said roundly, not wanting to look at him in the eyes.

But you failed. You glanced at him when you pulled softly him away from you; and he was looking at you with his puppy eyes, apparently hurt. He seemed so harmless and vulnerable as you've never seen him before. He looked downward with a wanly look, eyebrows up, and lips down-turned.

_**"I'm so sorry. I'm not sorry for the kiss 'cause it's something I really wanted to do; but I'm sorry because I should have respected you. I'm so sorry, Freckles."**_ He whispered apologetically, still looking down. Oh, you felt so bad. If only things were different...

_**"No, it's okay..."**_ You started saying also apologetically, still feeling bad.

_**"Okay! I think the game is over!"**_ You heard how your sister exclaimed loudly in the distance.

_**"Why? I thought we were having fun."**_ You heard how Jen said upset also in the distance. But you didn't care what they were saying; you were still looking at Darren who seemed to be downhearted because of your fault.

_**"Yes, we were having fun until a girl who has never been kissed took advantage to kiss wildly my boyfriend. Pathetic."**_ Your sister said displeased.

It sounded so rough but you ignored it. Darren was more important. You noticed how Darren was now looking at your sister in anger... Was that actually a dark look? You finally stopped looking at Darren to look at your sister and Jen. Both of them seemed to be upset.

_**"He's not your boyfriend, when will you understand it?"**_ Jen asked provocatively and you looked at her astonished. You definitely haven't seen Jen like this before.

_**"You have no idea. Do you think that only because you're his stupid friend, you'd know everything about him?"**_ Your sister replied just as provocatively. Oh no, this shouldn't be happening.

_**"Listen, you... If you're here it's only because you have an awesome sister and we're doing this for her, not because any of us want you here. Is that clear?"**_ Jen said annoyed, looking fixedly at your sister.

_**"Awesome sister? Oh please, bitch. She's the farthest thing of awesome that I know. What kind of girl that takes advantage to kiss a guy for the very first time on her life can be awesome? It's pathetic and piteous. Poor thing, she knows nobody would want to kiss her for real." **_Your sister said coldly and rudely. Ouch, her words were really hurting you, why was she saying all that? You thought you were fine now.

_**"What kind of sister are you, Amanda?" **_Darren suddenly asked in disbelief and furiously. You looked at him with eyes wide open and you grabbed his hand as a sign that you wanted him to stop saying those things. You didn't want to witness a dispute; you knew your sister when she was mad and it was terrible. _**"Whether you're a hideous sister or you aren't aware of the amazing person you have as a sister. You don't have a freaking idea of what's like to be like her, so don't mess. You're the pathetic one who can't appreciate all the good things that you have." **_

_**"Darren, please stop."**_ You whispered, begging him; but he apparently didn't hear.

_**"What? Oh my god. Of course I know how it's like to be like her because I live with her. She's only this lonely and pitiful little girl who's always depressed of everything, a little baby girl who cries all the time for stupid and nonsense things. She's that kind of girl who makes of a little trouble a big drama, only to get the attention. She always has this stupid urge to have everybody at her knees to ask her how is she doing or what is happening to her; only because she's so idiot that she cannot strike up a friendship with anybody."**_ Mandy said rudely and so heartless that hurt you deeply.

_**"You have no idea..." **_Darren started saying just as rudely.

_**"Stop it."**_ You said very loudly and determined that your voice echoed and everybody looked at you in silence. You looked at your sister straight into her eyes, hurt and also angry._** "Do you really want to know what's like to be like me? Good, I'll tell you, Amanda."**_

_**"How interesting, let's see what you have to tell me."**_ Your sister laughed ironically and you ignored it.

_**"You know what? I won't tell you, I'll sing it. Someone really wise once told me that music can say all the things that words can't and I agree completely with this." **_You said angrily but then you looked at Darren with a slight smile, just to let him know he was this someone you were talking about.

_**"Oh god, I don't want to hear you singing, it's gonna be terrible."**_ Your sister said nastily.

_**"Shut up, Amanda and listen to me!"**_ You yelled angrily and bossy, out of control.

Everybody looked at you astonished and disturbed, even your sister who was silent now. You looked at her fixedly and then you started singing, with no instrument and anything. It was only you, singing to your sister while everybody was looking at you. You felt the pressure of their gazes, but you decided to ignore it and just sing; because, this way, you finally would be able to let out all of that you've been holding onto your inside for so long.

_Do you ever feel like breaking down? _

_Do you ever feel out of place? _

_Like somehow you just don't belong _

_And no one understands you._

_Do you ever want to run away? _

_Do you lock yourself in your room? _

_With the radio on turned up so loud _

_That no one hears you screaming. _

_No you don't know what it's like _

_When nothing feels alright. _

_You don't know what it's like _

_To be like me. _

_To be hurt, to feel lost _

_To be left out in the dark _

_To be kicked when you're down _

_To feel like you've been pushed around _

_To be on the edge of breaking down _

_And no one's there to save you _

_No you don't know what it's like _

_Welcome to my life. _

_Do you wanna be somebody else? _

_Are you sick of feeling so left out? _

_Are you desperate to find something more _

_Before your life is over? _

_Are you stuck inside a world you hate? _

_Are you sick of everyone around? _

_With their big fake smiles and stupid lies _

_While deep inside you're bleeding._

_No you don't know what it's like _

_When nothing feels alright _

_You don't know what it's like _

_To be like me._

_To be hurt, to feel lost _

_To be left out in the dark _

_To be kicked when you're down _

_To feel like you've been pushed around _

_To be on the edge of breaking down _

_And no one's there to save you _

_No you don't know what it's like _

_Welcome to my life. _

_No one ever lied straight to your face _

_And no one ever stabbed you in the back _

_You might think I'm happy _

_But I'm not gonna be ok _

_Everybody always gave you what you wanted _

_You never had to work _

_It was always there _

_You don't know what it's like _

_What it's like _

_To be hurt, to feel lost _

_To be left out in the dark _

_To be kicked when you're down _

_To feel like you've been pushed around _

_To be on the edge of breaking down _

_And no one's there to save you _

_No you don't know what it's like. _

_To be hurt _

_To feel lost _

_To be left out in the dark _

_To be kicked _

_When you're down _

_To feel like you've been pushed around _

_To be on the edge of breaking down _

_And no one's there to save you _

_No you don't know what it's like _

_Welcome to my life._

_Welcome to my life. _

_Welcome to my life_.

You sang it with all your emotions and feelings, it was very meaningful. You let yourself to express all that you were feeling and now you were feeling this pressure on your chest, a combination of sorrow and angriness; it was very intense to sing it, because that was exactly the way you were feeling. Now you were looking down and when you finally looked up, you saw your sister looking at you bewildered and frowning, and you couldn't tell what kind of look was that. On the other side, Jen and Chuck were looking at you with eyes wide open and astonished; while Darren was looking at you also frowning but with a grievous look. You looked away feeling nervous while your body was trembling; but you weren't nervous because it worried you what they could be thinking about you, you were nervous because you finally let out something very important of you. You sighed, looking down and then you turned around to leave that place, without uttering a word. No one followed you, because they were still bewildered, and you were glad of that because you needed to be alone right now. You walked for a while, with no rush and to nowhere in particular. When you were sure you were far enough, you sat on the sand to observe the ocean in front of you, and just to think. When would be the time you could be in peace and just enjoy your life as anybody else? When would be the time when you'd be able to be yourself and do the things you really wanted to do? Everybody always told you that you have to make with your life that thing you want it to be; but nobody ever told you that sometimes you can't make it because this isn't about only yourself, there are others involved, people who can change everything. And this was your case: You wanted to be with Darren because you loved him, but you couldn't because there was your sister; your sister that hated you for no reason. You wanted to have a close family, but your sister couldn't stand you and even your own father kicked out from your own house. You wanted to be respected and to be appreciated by the way you were, but people only could make fun of you all the time and just because you tried to be yourself, they called you a geek. You wanted to have good grades in school so you could get a scholarship for University, but your grades were getting worse and worse because you couldn't focus on studying while you kept receiving anonymous threats and because shitty things were happening often. You wanted to be someone in your life, but always seemed that you were nobody, like a ghost fooling around. Yes, you had Darren and Jen as your friends, your real friends ever; and now there was also Chuck; but somehow, you were feeling alone and empty. That was the thing: you were feeling empty; as if there was nothing that could make you feel excited for something because you knew that it wouldn't work, as it was happening since a long time. Why couldn't you just disappear and start a new life, to start over again? Yes, you wanted to start over again a new life, but you wanted to keep Darren and Jen with you and that was impossible; because, want it or not, they would keep reminding you the bad things that happened to you, of course not on purpose. You couldn't keep being like this, you needed to change something; if people couldn't respect you, then you needed to make them respect you, but first you needed to respect yourself. When you were deep in thought, you heard some steps walking to you.

_**"What the hell was that?"**_ Your sister asked furious behind you and you only rolled your eyes. You weren't in mood to talk to her so you didn't answer. _**"Won't you answer me?"**_

_**"Go away, Amanda. I don't want to talk to you."**_ You answered curtly.

_**"Oh no, you'll talk to me, because you made me look like an idiot there, you stupid."**_ Mandy said furiously and you felt how all the rage started to run all over your body.

_**"Listen, Amanda. If you don't go away right now, you'll know me truly angry and you don't want it; because I can be the worst person ever while angry. So go away, before I start talking." **_You said furious and coldly, looking into her eyes now.

_**"Why don't you just talk and you show the world how you truly are, huh?"**_ Your sister said defiant.

_**"Get the fuck out of here, Amanda! I'm sick of you, I'm sick of your hypocrisy and lies. You're a nasty person, Amanda and I honestly can't get how you have friends if you're the most selfish and abominable person I know. Only because you're pretty you think you can do whatever you want whenever you want. Guess what? You can't mess with me, so get the fuck out."**_ You said as coldly as never before. But you were really tired of her and you wouldn't let her to treat you however she wanted.

_**"Oh well, I have something to tell you too. Stop messing with me and Darren, you stupid girl. Can't you get it? Look at you, you're awful, you're a geek and you have no grace. How can you think that Darren would want to be with you? Stop living on an imaginary world and face the real world in which you're nobody. Face it, Darren would never want to be with you. Look for someone like you, Darren is not on your low level. And he's mine."**_ Your sister said coldly and nastily.

_**"Your words mean nothing to me. I don't care what you think about me, I know what I am. And what if I don't want to stop messing between you and Darren?"**_ You asked challengingly. _**"Only because you're my sister doesn't mean that you can decide what I have to do and what not. Guess what, Amanda? I love Darren and I won't let you to play with him as a toy. I'm gonna prove I'm better than you, because I know I am, even though I'm not pretty as you are. But you know? I have something you don't have and it's called true love. You'll never feel it and I feel bad for that."**_ You said coldly, looking fixedly at your sister. You were standing up for the love of your life and it felt good. _**"So this is it. You want Darren? Go for him. But know that I also want him because I'm in love with him, and this time I won't walk away from him thinking that I need to respect you. You have no respect for me, so then I won't have respect for you. I love him too, so I'll stand for him, I'll try to get what I really want; and if he doesn't love me back, well, I'll find it by myself and not because you tell me so. But I won't give up on him without first trying. So deal with it, Amanda."**_ You said determined and surer than ever. Then you felt something for the first time: self-confidence. Your sister now seemed to be astonished and surprised by your reaction.

_**"Well... I..."**_ She started stammering nervously. _**"Oh wow."**_ She exclaimed raising her eyebrows with eyes wide open._** "I never expected to hear something like this." **_She finally said and she sat on the sand next to you. _**"So... this is it? Is this now a kind of fight between sisters to get a boy's attention?"**_ She asked staring the ocean, just the same you were doing.

_**"We've never been real sisters. And yeah, this is it all."**_ You answered softening your voice and very serious.

_**"Don't say that."**_ Your sister whispered faintly.

_**"What? Is there something you don't want to hear?"**_ You asked with indifference.

_**"Yes, that thing you said... that we've never been real sisters." **_Mandy said whispering again, still both of you looking the ocean.

_**"That's the truth, Amanda, and you know it. We're sisters because we have the same parents, but we never learned how to be real sisters of soul. You're just my family, not my sister with whom I can count on; and the same goes for me, I'm not that kind of sister to you."**_ You said being frankly and feeling bad, but saying all those things never said between you both.

_**"There was a time when we were real sisters. Have you forgotten it? When we were kids and we were used to spend all time together, playing and telling silly secrets? Have you forgotten those vacations on Grand Canyon National Park when we were together all the time, searching for adventures to do? When I fell off the valley and you risked your safety just to help me? When we were watching the stars and you taught me the most famous constellations? When you were feeling cold and I gave you my hoodie because you forgot it on the camp? Have you forgotten all those times?"**_ Mandy said still looking at the ocean, with teary voice. You couldn't help it but shedding some tears; of course you remembered it all, but it was long time ago, your good times.

_**"No, I haven't forgotten those times, Mandy."**_ You whispered faintly, still looking at the ocean and trying to hold back your tears. _**"But that was long time ago. As the years passed by, we grew up and we grew apart gradually until we became the persons we are now. Everything is different now." **_

_**"I wish things could be different for us now. I never wanted to grow apart from you. What happened with us?"**_ Mandy said now finally looking at you. You noticed she had teary eyes.

"_**We started high school; you became popular always surrounded by friends as I became this smartass and lonely girl I am now. Our interests changed, you prioritized popularity over smartness and I prioritized smartness over popularity. You noticed that being near me would make you lose your popularity and I got that it was important to you, so I walked away, so you could have that popularity you always wanted. Our personalities were opposite, so we couldn't stand each other. And we never talked about this, so yeah, we grew apart so this is why we're so distant now. You don't know anything about me and I don't know anything about you. It's sad not to know how your own sister is."**_ You said softly, looking down and kinda anguished. _**"And there's something I'd never understand... What have I done to you to hate me this much?" **_You asked looking into her eyes. You needed to know this since a long time and you never had the chance to ask her this, so it was normal that you were feeling nervous.

_**"I don't hate you. If I ever treated bad it wasn't because I hate you, it was because I'm jealous of you." **_Mandy whispered shyly, looking down.

_**"Jealous of me? What kind of crap is that?"**_ You asked in disbelief and feeling bad, a pressure on your chest and you couldn't figure out why you were feeling it. _**"Why would you feel jealous of me, Amanda? You always had everything, everything at all: the beauty, the sexiness, the popularity, the sympathy, a lot of friends, a lot of guys who would do even the impossible to be with you, a wardrobe full of clothes and shoes, and you've always been dad's favorite. You always had that ability to get whatever you wanted. And look at me. I'm not pretty, I don't have many friends, I'm the less sexy girl on this planet, I'm lonely and in high school I'm the loser, never a guy wanted to be with me, I wear these boring clothes because all the clothes look awful on me, and my own dad doesn't love me, I've been kicked out of my own house. Why would you be jealous of me?"**_ You asked looking at your sister with teary eyes.

_**"You don't understand it, do you? What's the point of being pretty if you aren't smart? What's the point of having a lot of friends if you don't have real ones with whom you can lean on? What's the point of being popular and do whatever it takes to get it if soon I'll have to start a new stage on my life at college? What's the point of having a lot of clothes if I don't have someone with whom I can share it? What's the point of having a lot of guys who would do whatever to be with me if they only want to get in my pants and not really love me? What's the point of being dad's favorite if I can't have my sister to share girls' moments as before? When you stop to think that, it's not cool to be me; I have nothing even though it seems I have it all. And you seem not to have anything, but actually you have it all: you have the smartness that would remain on you forever, that would help you to be important on this life; you have only few friends, but amazing friends who would do whatever for you only to see you happy; you don't have a wardrobe full of clothes because you don't need it to feel confident yourself, because you have real virtues that come from soul and not from physical appearance."**_ Your sister said with choked voice, looking deeply into your eyes and you started feeling sad because she was being more honest than ever; you were finding out knew things about her, about her hidden feelings; you were having that talk you never had. _**"You think that no guy would want to be with you, but the truth is that those guys don't want to be with you because they're assholes and they only want sex, and they, somehow, know that they can't mess with you with that; but there's a guy who truly loves you for who you are, only that you can't see it. And I feel so jealous for that because I'd never know how it feels to be truly loved by someone."**_ You sister said now crying. She was crying in front of you for the first time and you've never seen her so weak and sincere like this before. You've never thought that she could be feeling like this. _**"And Darren... Darren was the only guy who ever made me feel loved and I screwed it because of fear of what I was feeling. I was falling in love with him and I never felt it for anybody, so I was scared. Darren was the only guy who made me see which the real and important things in this life were, he was the one who was making me change for better and now I lost him. I know I lost him but I don't want to admit it, because he's one of the best things that happened to me lately. First I lost you, my little sister who used to care about me but I couldn't see it; and now I lost him. It's as if I can't hold on the good things with me."**_ She said tearing up, and you couldn't help it but sobbing. If only you knew all of this. _**"And I'm so sorry because I've acted like a bitch with you. You have no idea how sorry I am. I never knew that you could feel like that, like the song. But you know me, I barely express what I feel and I couldn't let you know I was sorry because of my pride. I never wanted my little sister to feel like this and I'm sorry for never have done something to stop with that, to help you as you'd have helped me if I were in your situation. I feel terrible and I don't know how to change all the bad things that I've said and done to you. I wish someday you can forgive me and we can be those sisters we were used to be."**_ Mandy said crying disconsolately, trying to wipe away her tears. You didn't know what to say, you were feeling very thrilled and anguished that you barely could talk.

_**"I forgive you, Mandy."**_ You finally said with choked voice and she cried even more, so you pulled her into a real and honest hug. _**"We're still on time to be the sisters we were used to be. I never knew you were feeling like this, Mandy, and I'm so sorry. If only we could have talked about this before, things would have been so different now. But it's done, now we can start over again, after all, you're gonna be always my sister and I'll always love you." **_You said smiling at her fondly.

_**"You've been always so caring. I don't know what I'd have done if I lost you forever. And... and... if you truly love Darren, then I'll walk away from you two. Darren is a good person and he's the only one who deserves you as you deserve him, and I want you to be happy, so I won't bug you anymore."**_ Your sister said now more calmed and you looked down. You couldn't this to her after all she told you, after she told you that Darren was one of the best things that happened to her; no matter how much you loved him.

_**"No, Mandy. Listen... Darren and I are just friends and you know... I don't think we can be more than that, I don't think it would work. You... Darren feels something for you, or in the first time he wouldn't have dated you. You told me he's one of the few best things that happened to you lately; you told me he was changing you for better. And, as your sister, I would love to see you with him..."**_ You said looking down, feeling very sad and having troubles to say this because you really loved Darren; but this was the right thing to do.

_**"No, I don't want you to give up on him because of my fault. If you love him, just go for him and forget about me." **_

_**"No, that's not right. I can't just forget about you, I wouldn't like to hurt you and well... you said it, I doubt Darren would want to be with me and I'll end up hurting myself too." **_

_**"What I said it was because I was jealous and I was saying just hurtful but not meaningful words. All that I said is a lie, you should know it. And you know? You should stop thinking about others and start thinking about yourself. It's not fair to live your whole life based on others. I'm not saying that you should do whatever you want forgetting about others and their feelings; but I'm saying that you should also live your life. Sometimes you have to think about yourself in first place and you should stop thinking what others want to start thinking what you want. So let me ask you and please be honest... Do you want to be with Darren?"**_ Your sister asked looking deeply into your eyes.

_**"I... Mandy, it doesn't matter, really."**_ You answered looking away.

_**"I haven't asked you if it matters or not. I only asked you if you want to be with Darren." **_

_**"Yes... But no, at the same time. We're just friends, anything else."**_

_**"I know you're friends, but do you love him more than a friend?" **_

_**"I... I don't know."**_ You replied nervously. You really didn't want to talk about this, now knowing that she also loved Darren.

_**"When you're alone... Do you think about him?" **_

_**"Well, yeah..."**_

_**"Do you miss him when you're alone?" **_

_**"Yeah... but..."**_

_**"Have you ever imagined kissing him?"**_ She asked looking deeply into your eyes. Damn, if she only knew you thought about this all the time, and that you not only imagined it because it actually happened a few times... But you couldn't tell her this.

_**"No..."**_ You lied, looking away.

_**"Okay... So... How did you feel when he kissed you minutes before?" **_

_**"I don't know, Mandy, it doesn't matter. I really don't want to talk about this." **_You said sighing and looking down, still feeling nervous.

_**"It does matter. Was that your very first kiss?" **_

_**"Uhm, well... no."**_ You admitted looking down and feeling uncomfortable.

_**"No? Have you ever kissed someone already?"**_ Your sister asked in disbelief and then she looked down frowning and apparently feeling bad. _**"Geez, I can't believe all the things I missed about my own little sister. I always wanted to be for you that sister who could advice you about things, with whom you could share your secrets and your best and worst moments. You already had your first kiss and I had no idea. Oh my god, how could I let this to happen?"**_ She asked herself, almost in a whisper. Then she looked up to you. _**"When was your first kiss?"**_

_**"Not long ago... about, I don't know... four months or something, before the accident."**_ You admitted, looking away.

_**"Who was the guy that kissed you? Or was it a girl?" **_

_**"It was a boy... Just, a random boy..."**_ You replied playing with your fingers, feeling nervous.

_**"Tell me the truth. It wasn't a random boy, was it?"**_ She asked looking fixedly at you. You only shook your head, you couldn't lie to her. _**"Was that boy Darren?"**_ You nodded in silence, looking away._** "Oh, I see... So... How many times have you guys kissed?"**_

_**"I don't know... Just... three times, counting this last one." **_You admitted feeling ashamed.

_**"Three times? Oh my God... And the first time was before the accident..." **_You sister said frowning and apparently thinking about something. _**"Did you like it? When he kissed you?" **_

_**"Mandy, I really don't want to talk about this."**_ You said now a bit annoyed, frowning.

_**"It's just a yes or no. For example, my first kiss was awful to me. I want to know how you felt when Darren kissed you. Did you like it?"**_

_**"Yes, I liked it."**_ You admitted looking away, because you knew she wouldn't stop asking until you answer her, and you couldn't keep lying to her.

_**"And when you kissed... Did you feel something weird in your stomach and chest, as if your body was trembling and you couldn't stop smiling?"**_ She asked looking at you intrigued and you huffed.

_**"The first time no... I mean, yes a little, but I can't remember it pretty well because it was when I got drunk. Shame on me. The second time... well, it was when I couldn't remember him, and then when he kissed me, suddenly I remembered everything so yeah, it was a weird kiss. And the third... well... yeah."**_ You rambled feeling uncomfortable. You just couldn't tell your sister it was the best thing that happened to you. You finally looked up to your sister, who was smiling softly while looking at you.

_**"My little sister is in love."**_ She said smiling softly. Why was her smile so warm? You felt thrilled, because you couldn't remember such an honest and warm smile from your sister to you.

_**"I'm not..."**_ You lied, looking away and feeling more uncomfortable than ever. Well, you've never told anything of this to anybody

_**"You are, and don't feel ashamed because being in love is one of the most wondrous things that can happen. I'm glad to know that Darren is the guy, he seems to be a good guy, really."**_ She said still with the same smile.

_**"No Mandy, stop. Nothing is gonna happen between us because we're friends and only that. If we ever kissed it was because of the situation, not because we actually wanted to do it. Your situation with him is different, because you both were dating, it wasn't a spontaneous thing, you both were aware of that. And gosh, you guys are dating; I don't know why we're having this conversation." **_You said nervously, almost stuttering.

_**"Sometimes the most real feelings are the spontaneous ones, because is something you really feel and you can't contain." **_She said shrugging and smiling but then she looked down. _**"And we aren't dating. It lasted only a few months, but then we broke up, because it wasn't working." **_

_**"What are you talking about, Mandy? I've seen you... In Darren's bedroom..."**_ You said embarrassed when you remember that scene. _**"You were kissing and you... well, you both seemed to be enjoying... you know... well, you know what I mean."**_ You stuttered, knowing that you were blushing when you remembered that intimate situation between them. _**"And then... well, then you were together all the time."**_

_**"Yes, that's because I insisted. I was the one who pulled him into this..."**_ Your sister said in a whisper, still looking down and then she sighed. _**"Whatever... The point is that we aren't dating and I really doubt we could date again, because you're involved on this too now, and I guess Darren is for you, not for me."**_ She said forcing a smile and shrugging. Wow, you felt bad, as if you were a bothersome between them.

_**"Mandy, we are only friends and we won't be more than friends. You asked me so many things, so let me ask you something too... Do you love him?" **_

_**"What's the point to answer that?" **_

_**"As you said, it's only a yes or no." **_

_**"No wonder you're the clever one."**_ She said chuckling faintly. _**"Yes, I do. But it won't work, I know it."**_

_**"Alright... that's what I needed to know." **_You answered with a faintly smile.

You remained in silence for a while, both of you deep in thought. You were happy to have had this kind of talk to your sister, and everything seemed very honest and natural, as the old times. That was the sister you had when you were a little girl and that you lost years ago. You were glad that she was back now and you could clear up some things and catch up with some things; now you knew you'll have time to keep talking for hours as before. There was only this problem... Darren. What would you do about it? You really loved him and you couldn't contain your feelings for him any longer, he was driving you crazy and he was what you wanted, to be with him. But on the other hand, you couldn't do anything because there was also your sister who was also in love with him; you couldn't hurt her after you got her back. And, after all, Darren dated your sister and not you; you were only his friend and you knew it was impossible he could be in love with you, so you needed to take him off your mind and let Darren and Mandy be happy together. They had something, even though your sister said they weren't dating anymore; because if they didn't have anything, then they wouldn't have been in that situation they were when you went to Darren's bedroom. Even though it was going to be hard, even though it was going to break your heart, even though you were going to feel distressed; you needed to forget Darren and your feelings for him. It was the best, for you and for them. While you were making this decision on your mind, you heard a voice behind you.

_**"Is everything alright here?"**_ Darren asked gingerly. You looked abruptly at him and then you stood up.

"_**Yeah, everything is fine." **_You replied quickly, playing with your fingers nervously. _**"I guess… I'll return… Yeah… See you guys."**_ You babbled and then you walked away from them as fast as you could, without looking at them for one last time.

For the moment, you couldn't be near Darren and you needed to let them alone. Definitely, this was going to be hard. You actually didn't come back to where Chuck and Jen were; you came back to Darren's house, where you were staying. There was no one at his house and you remembered that his parents weren't going to spend the night there. You walked in silence to the guest room, which was your bedroom now. Everything was silent and when you entered the room, you could smell Darren's scent and it broke you. You lay down in bed and you cried your heart out until you fell asleep. You cried all those feelings you were feeling for him, you cried because you knew that if before was hard to be with Darren, now it was harder. And you still loved him.

* * *

_**"Darren, what the hell was that, bro?"**_ Chuck asked me when Freckles walked away and Mandy followed her. I tried to follow them, but Chuck stopped me. _**"I'm a big mess, first that kiss, that damn hell of kiss; and then this song and all. What's going on?"**_

_**"It's a long story, Chuck."**_ I answered, trying to see where Freckles and her sister where going.

_**"I guess I deserve to know. I mean, your friend is gonna live with us and weird things didn't stop happening since this morning when the girl you're dating appeared. Are you dating with someone and you didn't tell me? And this girl is your friend's sister and you didn't know? And what's all that? The song and the way the sisters were looking at each other? And do you realize the way you kissed your friend in front of her sister, the girl you're dating? How can you do that, Darren? And what were you doing in your bedroom with your girlfriend? Because you should have seen Freckles' face, bro. Explain me, Darren."**_ Chuck said very fast, slurring his words and I just looked at him trying to understand everything he was asking.

_**"Whoa, Chuck! Slow down!"**_ I exclaimed raising my eyebrows. _**"First of all, I'm not dating Mandy, she's not my girlfriend. Yeah, I used to date her, but it didn't work for different reasons I don't want to talk right now. Is none of your business what I was doing in my bedroom with her, it's something private and the only thing I can tell you it's that I haven't done anything, she was the one who pulled me into an uncomfortable situation. Yes, I didn't know they were sisters, goddammit; not even Jen knew that." **_I said looking at Jen because actually I didn't know if she knew or not, but judging by her face, she didn't know._** "The song was for obvious reasons, Chuck. They don't get along, they don't have the best relationship to be honest, and Mandy is kinda cruel with Freckles as far as I know. Well, you heard the way Mandy talked about her own sister; it's not nice at all."**_ I answered bitterly when I remembered all that Mandy said.

_**"And the kiss, Darren?"**_ Chuck asked and I looked away. Damn, I was trying to avoid that question Chuck asked.

_**"What about the kiss, Chuck? You kissed her too."**_ I replied looking at him annoyed and feeling jealous again.

_**"Yes, because it was part of the game. And you can't compare my kiss to your kiss, no way."**_ Chuck said shaking his head.

_**"Yeah, whatever, whatever Chuck."**_ I replied annoyed and frowning.

_**"Are you jealous, bro?" **_

_**"What? Oh please, stop it, okay?"**_ I answered even more annoyed but this time also feeling a bit nervous. It was pathetic from me to feel jealous of my own brother but I couldn't help it.

_**"You aren't answering me."**_ Chuck insisted. Oh man, why the hell was he so insistent? And why was Jen so silent? _**"Why did you kiss her like that?"**_

_**"Like what, Chuck, like what?" **_

_**"Like… it was as if you really wanted to kiss her, not as if it was part of the game. It was as if you didn't want to stop kissing her, like you really wanted it. I don't know bro, you were like eating her. It wasn't a simple little kiss like the others, you gotta admit it."**_ Chuck said quietly, raising his eyebrows and I just remained looking away, serious. _**"Why did you kiss her that way?"**_

_**"Because I'm in love with her, okay?"**_ I yelled in annoyance, looking at him exasperated; and when he looked at me surprised I noticed what I said. I admitted it in front of my brother now. Damn. _**"Whatever, it's pointless." **_I said now looking down, remembering when Freckles told me she loved me back but just as a friend.

_**"Whoa! That was a real revelation. Whoa, now I understand everything."**_ Chuck exclaimed in surprise but I didn't look at him. There was an uncomfortable silence for a while. _**"She loves you, bro."**_

_**"Yeah... I know."**_ I said faintly and still looking down. Yes, yes, she loved me, but I was only a friend for her.

_**"Darren, I think Chuck thinks the same than me." **_Jen suddenly spoke after a long time, so I looked up to her. _**"I know you may be thinking that she loves you but only as a friend, but it isn't like that. You can tell it when you see the way she looks at you, the way she smiles whenever she sees you; she is in love with you Darren, and you know I've suspected this from the first time I met her."**_

_**"Yeah, I also suspected that; when I talked to her and you found us... Yeah, I remember how her eyes brightened when she talked about you." **_Chuck said thoughtful, and I looked at him confused. So they talked about me that time... Whatever, it was pointless now.

_**"She isn't in love with me."**_ I said bitterly looking down. Shit, I only wanted them to stop talking about this; I didn't want to hear that because I knew what the truth was.

_**"Darren, you don't know it. I've already told you, if you don't talk to her about this, you'd never know. Personally, I think she really loves you but she doesn't dare to admit it; and I do think Chuck thinks the same than me."**_ Jen said looking at Chuck, who nodded in agreement. _**"Talk to her, then you'll know and you'll see... she's in love with you."**_

_**"Stop it, Jen, please!"**_ I exclaimed in exasperation because this talk was really making me feel worse. _**"I know she isn't in love with me because after that kiss I admitted that I was in love with her. I was scared like hell, but I took the risk as you told me; so I just told her, I told her that I loved her so much. Do you know what she answered?"**_ I asked with choked voice, looking at Jen who was looking at me astonished. _**"She told me that she loved me. Yeah, she told me: I love you because you're my best friend. Those were her words."**_

_**"Oh Darren..."**_ Jen whispered, apparently feeling guilty. _**"But she didn't say she wasn't in love with you, she only told you that she loved you because you're her best friend maybe because she was afraid to admit that she was feeling the same than you. Or maybe it was because you told her that you loved her, but you didn't clear that you were in love with her."**_

_**"No, no, Jen. Do you really think that I let our conversation to end like that? No, of course not. I took the risk, so then I needed to say it all; I told her that I loved her more than my friend and I attempted to kiss her again. She pulled me away, Jen. She told me to stop and she said it so roundly and bossy and serious, Jen."**_ I said still with choked voice and looking down, feeling distressed. Oh man, the last I needed was to cry like a baby in front of her and Chuck.

_**"That's weird..." **_Jen said thoughtful. _**"Maybe it was because she didn't want to admit it while we were here..." **_She said unsure and I sighed.

_**"Jen, stop saying things like that because it's making me feel terrible. I told her what I really felt for her and she dumped me, she rejected me. I'm aware of it and I know it's not gonna change, so don't try to cheer me up telling me that maybe she could love me, that maybe and maybe whatever... Because it's making me feel worse, I know how things are and I just have to deal with it, I don't want to keep picturing she's gonna be with me because it's not gonna happen. So please, I beg you to stop."**_ I said with choked voice and trying to hold back my tears. I shouldn't cry in front of them.

_**"But really, Darren... Is weird..." **_

_**"Jen, stop! Stop, for fuck's sake! I'm already feeling like crap and I don't want to feel even worse. I do understand that sometimes people you love don't love you back, and well, I have to deal with it, right? But right now, I don't want to deal with it, I'm not feeling like forgetting what she told me and how I felt when I heard her saying me to stop."**_ I said even more distressed and wanting to stop talking about this, because it was too much to hold. _**"I just need to be alone, okay?"**_

_**"Okay..."**_ Jen whispered looking down.

_**"Right... I just... I'm just gonna go for a walk, just to think."**_ I said looking away and I didn't start walking until both Jen and Chuck nodded.

That was a lie. I wasn't going for a walk to think and clear up my mind; I was going to look for Freckles because I saw Mandy following her, and after all that happened, I was suspecting that maybe something bad could be happening between them. I walked for a long time, trying to find out where they were; I walked a lot and I started thinking that maybe I wasn't going to find them, but then I saw two blurry and dark figures in the distance. That was the silhouette of Freckles. I walked right to where they were, but in silence. Then I was the close enough to hear their talk but they couldn't see me. I knew this was wrong and I knew it could end in a bad way, just as when I was caught by Freckles and Chuck; but I couldn't help it. This was weird. Neither of them seemed to be arguing; they seemed to be talking quietly; it was very different than the situation I witnessed minutes before. Anyway, the only thing I could hear was Freckles saying that something, I don't know what, was what she needed to know; then the two of them remained looking at the ocean in silence. I couldn't keep being silent; I needed to know what was going on there. So I just walked closer and only because they still didn't notice I was there, I talked.

_**"Is everything alright here?"**_ I asked gingerly.

Both Freckles and Mandy looked at me abruptly, surely I made them startle. Freckles was the only one who stood up quickly, so very quickly that I couldn't get how she managed not to stumble with her own legs as usual.

"_**Yeah, everything is fine."**_ She replied almost stammering, playing with her fingers. She was nervous. _**"I guess… I'll return… Yeah… See you guys." **_She babbled, looking away.

She was really fast; she started walking away before I could grab her arm to stop her or something. Man, she was almost running.

_**"Freckles, wait! Hey, hold on!"**_ I yelled trying to stop her, but she didn't hear, or she pretended not to have heard me.

She didn't stop and she disappeared in the dark very fast. I attempted to follow her, but somehow I couldn't move; I remained looking at her, running away from me. Actually, I knew why I didn't move and it was because it hurt me the way she tried to get away from me as soon as she saw me. It hurt me because she never did that to me before, and now surely she was doing it because I admitted I was in love with her. I thought how much I screwed our friendship, now nothing was going to be the same. And that was my fear: to lose her once that I admit my real feelings; and I was losing her. Not only I lost my hopes to be her boyfriend, I was also losing my best friend. Suddenly I felt empty and gloomy; as if there was a piece of me that was missing, and that piece was her.

_**"You're in love with her, aren't you?"**_ Suddenly Mandy asked behind me. I totally forgot she was there.

_**"That's none of your business, Amanda." **_I huffed in annoyance, avoiding her gaze and still looking straight to where Freckles disappeared.

_**"You see, actually it's something of my business, Darren."**_ Mandy said, now stepping to be next to me. _**"After all, she's my little sister. I do care about her."**_

_**"Yeah sure, awesome joke."**_ I laughed bitterly and sarcastically, rolling my eyes.

_**"You know? There are certain things you'll never know about her and me, Darren; so don't mock me."**_ Mandy said quietly, instead being upset as she would have been.

_**"Whatever."**_ I answered curtly. I really didn't want to be with her, not after all that happened. After all, she was one of the reasons why Freckles and I had that shitty relationship now. So yeah, I started walking away from her to go find Freckles.

_**"Darren, wait."**_ Mandy suddenly said almost pleading; I don't know why, but I stopped and I finally looked at her. She had a weird facial expression. _**"I want to talk to you."**_

_**"Oh no, you and I have a very different concept of talking. The last time you wanted to talk to me, you ended up trying to hook up with me. You did it once, it's not gonna happen a second time; I learnt the lesson."**_ I said coldly and a bit sarcastic.

_**"Oh come on, Darren, let's be mature."**_ Mandy said sighing and serious and I looked at her in suspicion. _**"I made a mistake, okay? And I'm sorry. I'm sorry to have led you to that uncomfortable situation you weren't expecting when I asked you if we could talk. I apologize."**_

_**"Why are you apologizing? What do you want? What are you planning?"**_ I asked suspiciously.

_**"Oh my god." **_Mandy exclaimed in disbelief. _**"Listen, it's not easy for me to apologize to someone. But I'm apologizing anyway, and I'm not doing this for me, I'm doing this for my sister. I don't want anything from you but only to talk to you and I'm not planning anything, unless you consider to be sorry a plan."**_

_**"Why would you want to do this for your sister? You never cared about her, why would you care about her now?" **_I asked still suspiciously. _**"And in any case, you should apologize to your sister, not to me. You've been a real bitch with your sister." **_

_**"I've already done it. And I always cared about her, only that before we were distant because we needed to talk since a long time ago; but fortunately we could talk already. So yes, I'm apologizing to you because of my sister, because I know you're important to her."**_ Mandy said serious, looking at me.

_**"Sorry, I can't trust you. I have this feeling that you're going to hurt her as always. You always make her feel as if everything is more than fine and then, when she less expects, you stab her by her back. I won't let you to do it again; I won't be idly while I see how you hurt her feelings over and over again. I wish you could see the awesome person you're losing because of your selfishness."**_ I said determinant, looking fixedly into her eyes.

_**"I know. I know I missed a lot of things of her all this time I was apart, being selfish and jealous. And that's why I'm trying to get back all the wasted time, to make it right this time."**_ Mandy said a bit distressed, looking down. That was weird. _**"And I'm glad she has a friend like you, who really cares about her. It's good to know that you won't let anybody to hurt her. I should have been that person, but I couldn't and I feel bad for that. But I'm really glad she had you to lean on while I wasn't there." **_She said with choked voice and I started believing her. This wasn't something like she could say, but it seemed real.

_**"What's your point Amanda?" **_I asked still suspicious, but softening my voice because she was convincing me.

_**"I want to make sure you really love her. I want to make sure you won't hurt her. I'm not asking you to believe me, not after all I did to you; but I'm asking you, please, not to hurt her, because she's all I have, she's my little sister." **_Mandy said still with the same choked voice.

_**"I won't hurt her; at least that's not what I want. And you can be sure I love her. Yeah, I do." **_I answered almost in a whisper. I don't know why I was telling her this, but I just had this need to tell her this.

_**"Thank you a lot."**_ Mandy said now looking at me with teary eyes. _**"I'm sorry Darren to have pulled you into something you didn't want. I know that things are screwed for us now, but I wish someday you could forgive me for all my mistakes."**_ Mandy said apologetically and I didn't know what to answer, I wasn't sure if I could forgive her, at least not in this moment. _**"But what I wish right now is that you and my sister can still be friends. I noticed she's acting weird with you and I know that in part this is my fault; so I promise I'll try my best to make her see that what happened in your bedroom and what happened after that was only because of my fault, and not yours. I'll try to make her see that you didn't want to be with me. It's the least I can do to start paying for my mistakes."**_ She said feeling guilty, looking down and still distressed. I was only there, listening to her very intently and astonished by what she was saying. This didn't seem a lie, but I couldn't fully trust her. _**"Because I know you're in love with her. I tried to play fool and pretend that it wasn't like that. But I know it, because I noticed the way your eyes brighten when you look at her, I noticed the way your face seems to light up whenever you're close to her, and I noticed the way you smile when you hug her... and I noticed the way you kissed her, as if that was the best thing you could be doing. I know it all because I always wanted you to feel that way with me, and I couldn't get it."**_

_**"It's not..."**_ I started mumbling nervously because honestly I didn't know what to say. Why did it seem to be sincere?

_**"Yes, it's like that. And now I'm not even jealous. I won't deny that I feel a bit sad because I lost a man who could have been like the perfect boyfriend. But I guess we were never meant to be together, but with my sister it's different."**_ Mandy said shrugging and smiling faintly. _**"Just let me ask you something and please, answer it with honesty." **_

_**"Uhm, well... yeah, sure..."**_ I said feeling nervous. Man, why was I letting her to do this? I didn't even know if she wanted to do a good or bad thing.

_**"Are you completely sure that you're in love with her?"**_ She finally asked, looking fixedly into my eyes and it made me feel like powerless.

_**"I'm sorry, I won't answer you that. It's something private and I'm really sorry but I still can't trust you."**_ I replied trying to avoid her gaze.

_**"I got it."**_ Mandy whispered looking down. _**"You know? She loves you, Darren; even though she tries to hide it because of fear. So I'll warn you something... I'll walk away from you both, so I won't be a bother for you... But if I ever find out that you hurt her, just in case you start dating or something, I'll kick your ass and I'm serious."**_ Mandy said very serious and almost in an ominous way; and I just looked at her very amazed, raising my eyebrows in surprise. _**"I wouldn't like to find out that you will be with her only because you want to have a good time with her, while you aren't completely sure you're in love with her; I don't want her first love affair to be a real shit like mine, I don't want her to suffer what I suffered. So, watch out, Criss. Now that I got her back, I will be that sister I wasn't before; and the first thing I'm gonna do is to protect her from assholes. I don't think you're an asshole, but just in case, you're warned."**_

For fuck's sake! Why was she telling me all that in that menacing way? But it was weird, because it wasn't a bad kind of menace; it was more like a mother protecting her children. Anyway, this all was weird; this was very different from the girl who was being like a bitch minutes ago; this was more like the Mandy she was when we were out school. Maybe this was her real personality, or maybe not. I didn't know, but what I knew was that all she said seemed to be true. And whoa! Why was she menacing me with that? She just assumed I was in love with her sister despite I tried to hide it from her because of fear she could do something wicked with that. She assumed I was in love with Freckles and she was right, but why would she warn me such a thing? Not that Freckles was in love with me. But Mandy mentioned that her sister loved me, and she didn't know it, because she wasn't there when I told Jen and Chuck the short talk I had with Freckles. Why was Mandy saying something about Freckles' first love affair with me? What if Freckles told Mandy that she had feelings for me? No man, that was impossible after the short talk I had with Freckles; and I didn't want to have hopes with her again and then feel broken again because nothing was going to happen. But... What if? That would be the best thing that could happen to me.

_**"But if you're completely sure you love her..."**_ Mandy suddenly started speaking again and I jumped because I was so deep in thought that I forgot she was there. _**"I want you to know that I'll be happy for the two of you; because I know you're going to be happy. Only if you are sure."**_

_**"It doesn't matter what I feel for her or what not; you can be relaxed because nothing is gonna happen between us. Not because I don't want to be with her but because she doesn't feel the same for me."**_ I whispered looking down, distressed. Oh fuck, man! Why the hell did I let it out in front of her? Mandy shouldn't know what I feel for Freckles.

_**"What are you doubting? Are you suspecting that she isn't in love with you?"**_ Mandy asked intrigued and I looked away frowning, quarreling with myself.

_**"I'm not suspecting anything, I know it because we... it doesn't matter. I'm not gonna talk to you about this."**_ I said bad-tempered, still looking away. Geez, I needed to control my words in front of her.

_**"Well, if I were in love with someone, if this someone were like the love of my life... I wouldn't give up so easily."**_ Mandy started saying with a roguish smile on her face and I glanced at her in silence. _**"If I were truly in love with someone, I'd try my best to make this someone to fall for me. If I were sure I want to be with this someone, I'd talk with this someone while we're alone, a real talk, risking everything for this someone; even if this someone acts as if doesn't want to be with me. Because, after all, when it's about love, people tend to hide it because of fear while inside we're dying to yell those words we both know: I'm in love with you."**_ Mandy said raising an eyebrow and still looking at me with that roguish smile. _**"I don't know... maybe that someone is my sister to you... Just saying."**_ She said shrugging and smiling. What the hell was going on with her? It was as if she wanted me and Freckles to be together or something; or maybe I was just making up things on my mind. _**"If you're sure you love her, then go for her. Go and talk to her, Darren. Do not waste your time, do not let time to pass by because maybe then it's gonna be late and you'll regret. Go and talk, I'm almost sure it'll work."**_

_**"Why are you doing this? Minutes ago you were trying to hook up with me and now you're trying to hook me up with your sister. I'm sorry but this has no sense, there's something weird; I'm not that fool."**_ I said raising my eyebrows and totally suspecting of what she was doing.

_**"You know? It comes a point when you want to stop being selfish to start helping people you love. It comes a point when something suddenly changes everything, establishing an end and a new beginning. Well, that something for me was when my sister sang that song and when then I talked to her. I don't want to keep being that popular and heartless person I used to be since years ago; because that's not me. And I couldn't realize I wasn't being happy until I noticed how many good things I lost while I was trying to be popular. So this is my way to start over again; and I'm sorry, but I'm not doing this for you, I'm doing this for my little sister that I missed so much.**_" Mandy said and her voice cracked at some point, as if she was feeling thrilled. I couldn't help it, I believed her._** "And... I gotta admit that you both would make a lovely couple. So if being with my sister is what you truly want, go and talk. It's only my advice, you can take it or not, it's up to you." **_

_**"Yeah..."**_ I said smiling faintly, looking at her with teary eyes. Why would I feel like this? Man, her speech really moved me.

_**"Right. Well, this is all I wanted to tell you. And... I really need to come back home." **_Mandy said looking down and I noticed how she wiped away a tear, even though she did it very surreptitiously. _**"I... I'll see you around, Darren."**_ She said smiling softly and then she turned around to leave.

_**"Mandy?"**_ I said when she was already walking. She turned her head to look at me. _**"Thank you, for giving me the courage to do this."**_

_**"You're welcome. Good luck with that. I bluntly hope you both can be happy."**_ She said softly. _**"And by the way… I received a text message. My sister is at your home alone right now. I don't know, I just thought you'd like to know."**_ Mandy smiled one last time before she left, leaving me there alone.

My mind was a one big mess; I was thinking a lot of things in a matter of seconds. And I was nervous and scared like hell. Maybe Mandy was right. Maybe I should risk it all for Freckles; maybe I should talk to her to find out if she was in love with me, and maybe I should try my best to make her fall for me if she wasn't in love with me. Maybe I shouldn't give up on this so easily just as she said. She was Freckles, man, and I loved her so fucking much. I needed to talk to her, because I needed her, because I loved her. I texted Chuck that I was coming back home and then I left to go right where Freckles was. I was going to do this and I wasn't going to be cowed this time. I was more than sure that I wanted this. Once I arrived home, I walked straight to Freckles' room, but I stopped in front of her closed door. It was very silent. I leaned my head against it and I closed my eyes, trying to calm down. Shit, I was so nervous, my heart was beating fast and my body was trembling. This talk was going to change everything, only that I didn't know if it was going to be for good or bad; so I started doubting. But then her beautiful eyes and smile popped in my mind. Hell yeah, she was the one.

_**"Here I go..."**_ I whispered breaking the silence, taking a deep breath and finally opening the door.


	19. Sweet dreams

A/N: Okay, wow! Wow, guys! I reached the 100 reviews! This is insane! I honestly can't believe it, I never thought I could get so many reviews, not ever. I honestly don't know how to thank you all for this, it's too much; you've been always very supportive and I do appreciate it a lot! I've received so many reviews in the last chapter and it's crazy and it makes me really happy! Thank you a lot! So, it's time to answer each one of you, as I promised! Uhm, first of all, I need to warn you that I'm on a silly mood, so maybe I'll say silly things and make some stupid jokes! I'm a dumb human, after all!

Kaylacriss332: I'm glad you like suspense just as I do! Don't worry, this time you won't have a cliffhanger! So you can relax about it! See? I was good girl this time haha.

alicegursk: Are you still alive to read the new chapter? What would Freckles do now? Now you'll find out if she keeps being so silly or not! ;)

Guest: Oh well! You asked me if I've thought about becoming a professional author. Hell no! I always, literally always, sucked at writing! When I was in high school, I always had bad grades when it was about writing, I just can't do it well. I have a huge imagination, but I think I could never write like a professional, for that I'd have to study something like that. Instead, I decided to use my imagination for architecture! Next year I'll become an architect! :) I read a lot in my life, so maybe that helps me a little bit to write my stories, besides the movies and music. You mentioned about having the first time with Darren; well, I'll think about it and if I ever write it, I hope I could make it well as you want and I hope not to disappoint you! Thanks for your words! :)

Jeanette: It is Saturday already! :D You'll get more of this story for a very long time, so I'm so happy to know that you like this story! Hope you never get bored of it!

caarolineboeira1: You really made me smile when you wrote this: "sometimes I walk out of my room in the middle of the chapter cause it's so tense that I have to stop reading for a few minutes to calm down" Geez! Do I really can make that with my writing? It's so crazy but I like it! :) And I do agree with you, Freckles really over thinks things and I do think she needs to think more about herself; haha it's crazy for me to say this because it was me the one who made Freckles to be like that; but there is a reason for that and it's that I want to show how someone can grow and learn new things throughout life. And Mandy? Oh, she's a mystery, a character full of surprises! Thank you, as always, for your words and for telling me which your favorite line was!

LiesMiranda: You're curious about who W is and I'm curious to know who you think W is! haha. About Mandy and Freckles; yes, that was what I wanted to do with them, I've written about the sisters before but I needed to explain more about their relationship and why they weren't so close, with time you'll find more things about them! About the main characters, I know! They can be so silly sometimes, right? I just want to write how a teen could feel sometimes when it's about love, when you feel so shy and insecure because it's a new thing; I don't know if I'm doing it right, but I hope so! And this you wrote: "Though please tell me this talk's going to work out, if not I'll burn up in a furnace of frustration." Oh my god! That made me laugh so hard! Well, you should be preparing the furnace! Or not... I don't know, you'll find it out now!

Sarah: Okay, you wrote this: "You are seriously good with the cliffhangers" Is that a good or bad thing? I hope it's a good one because I love cliffhangers and you'll get a lot of those! Yeah, I know it's hard to tell if Mandy is lying or not. Mandy... well, it's a special character and a little bit weird. With time you'll know what kind of person Mandy actually is! For now, is gonna be a huge mystery!

Gabby: hahaha everybody is talking about my cliffhangers! Was the last one really so bad? As I mentioned to others, yes, Mandy is a mystery for now; for now it's only up to you to think if she lies or not and with time you'll know the real answer! I'm glad you chose that line as your favorite, I kind of liked writing it and I do agree with you, we all should learn it! Sometimes is hard, but it's worth it trying.

Mockingjay-Potterhead-9: You are the guest! I caught you! I laughed when I read that you forgot to sign in to review! And you made me feel very flattered when you wrote that I'm your hero! What kind of super powers do I have? I'm just kidding; silly mode, sorry! Now seriously talking, thank you a lot for your words because it made me smile like a fool, your words touched me! You thanked me for sharing my imagination, but I thank you for giving me a chance and for reading my story! I don't think that what I write is perfect, but I try to do my best and I try to make you enjoy what I write. For me is really nice to know that you like reading this because, I don't know, reading is beautiful and I enjoy writing even though I'm not a professional author or whatever. So, what you wrote only makes me want to write more and more and I do thank you for that, because writing is my way to de-stress of the everyday problems we all have! Thank you, really! Lots of love for you too! :)

Aminyia: Do not worry! The new chapter is up now! Sorry about the cliffhanger and I'm really happy that you seem to be enjoying this story and that you were enthralled! I hope you can feel the same with this new chapter! :)

A: Oh my god! The damn cliffhanger! I know, I know, it was a terrible cliffhanger! Yes, maybe Freckles will think more about herself or maybe not, it's something she has to learn and eventually she will. Now with this chapter you'll find out what happens between Darren and Freckles. Are you ready to read it?

Oh god, that was long, wasn't it? Now, Mandy and Freckles had that talk they never had before but no one knows if she's lying or not; Mandy talked to Darren and encouraged him to talk to Freckles but no one knows if Mandy's intentions are good or bad; and Darren finally decided to go and talk to Freckles. And that's what you missed on Teenage Dream chapter 18! Now, what would happen? Will they talk about it? Will the talk work out or not? Find it out in this new chapter of Teenage Dream! haha alright, I should stop writing, I know. I'll just let you read this new chapter that you've been waiting for! Until next Saturday guys! Have a lovely week!

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**Teenage Dream – Part 19 – Sweet dreams**

* * *

When I entered Freckles' room I noticed how my heart was beating absurdly fast, but I was determined to do this. The room was really dark and silent, I almost could see in the darkness, but I could see her silhouette laying on the bed. I remained standing there for a while in silence, looking at her, just trying to calm my nervousness. She seemed to be sleeping and I really didn't want to wake her, but I knew that if I didn't have this talk now, I would never have the guts to do this again. It was now or never. Again, I took a deep breath and I walked to her, feeling how my legs were trembling, so I was walking awkwardly. I reached her bed and I stood there, observing her sleeping. I finally kneeled next to her bed so now I could see her face clearer. How could she be so beautiful while sleeping? No one is beautiful while sleeping, but she was the exception. I smiled softly, looking at that girl who was driving me crazy in a good way. It came a point that I forgot all I've planned to tell her, I forgot why I was there, I forgot that we had that uncomfortable situation an hour ago; I only focused on seeing her sleeping with all her beauty that amazed me. Without thinking and acting by instinct, I caressed her cheek very smoothly, still smiling; because she had that effect on me, she could make me smile even if she wasn't trying to do it. Suddenly, she opened her eyes slowly and looked at me confused. Instead getting nervous because she caught me caressing her cheek, I smiled brightly.

_**"Hey."**_ I whispered softly and sweetly, still caressing her cheek.

_**"Hi."**_ She whispered frowning and still with sleepy eyes, now rubbing her eyes and yawning. Oh dude, that was so freaking cute. _**"What are you doing here?"**_

_**"Oh, I was wondering if you could let me lie down with you, only for tonight."**_ I whispered softly, looking deeply into her big and sleepy eyes, caressing her cheek with my thumb.

_**"I don't think it'd be proper."**_ She answered avoiding my gaze, covering her body with the quilt.

_**"Okay, I get it."**_ I answered smiling sweetly. Somehow, I didn't feel offended or rejected, I was feeling good, because I was near her. And I honestly didn't want to rush things; I wanted to make it good.

_**"Okay?"**_ She asked apparently in disbelief. Of course she couldn't understand it, because I've always been that insistent and stubborn guy.

_**"Yeah, okay."**_ I smiled at her fondly and then I sat on the floor while she was looking at me bewildered. _**"Would you let me sit here just for a while? I can't sleep and Chuck and Jen are still on the beach."**_

_**"Yes, you can..."**_ She answered still bewildered. _**"And why aren't you with them?"**_

_**"I don't know."**_ I answered quietly, shrugging. _**"I guess I wanted to come back home, right where you were."**_ I admitted, because although I didn't want to rush things, I wouldn't lie to her. She seemed to be a bit nervous now, so I tried to change the topic of conversation. _**"And why did you come back here so early?" **_

_**"Oh, because it was getting cold... and I was sleepy. I'm sorry that I didn't let you know I was coming back here."**_ She answered now looking into my eyes, she was more relaxed now and she looked so dreamy...

_**"It's fine, don't worry. Your sister told me."**_ I answered smiling softly at her.

_**"My sister? Oh yes, right. I forgot I texted her."**_ Freckles said and then she yawned. _**"I'm sorry, because of the yawn, I'm sleepy." **_

_**"Don't be sorry, it was so adorable to see."**_ I answered looking deeply at her. Man, she was so cute; I really wanted to lie down with her.

_**"No yawn is adorable, you liar!"**_ She said giggling softly and I couldn't help it but laughing along with her, now looking down. Her laughter was very catchy.

_**"Yeah, that's true. Let's just say that your yawn isn't as bad as other yawns."**_ I said still laughing softly and then I looked at her again. Her eyes were even brighter; there was a twinkle in her eyes that amazed me. _**"Oh geez..."**_ I exclaimed, and those words just came out from my mouth without controlling it.

_**"What?"**_ She asked suspiciously, uncomfortable. _**"What? Do I have something on my face? Is it the make-up?" **_

_**"No, no, you don't have anything on your face."**_ I laughed when I saw her rubbing her eyes a bit desperate. But she didn't hear me and she kept rubbing her eyes, so I grabbed her hands and I held them, to stop her. _**"You don't have anything, Freckles. I was looking your eyes; I was seeing that twinkle you have whenever you laugh. I was just amazed of it. You don't have anything." **_

_**"Oh, okay..."**_ She replied looking away, edgy. _**"I'm sorry, Darren, but I'm really sleepy." **_

_**"Yeah..."**_ I whispered still holding her hands, now tighter. _**"Just... Let me be here a little more, please." **_

_**"I'm sorry, Darren..." **_

_**"Please."**_ I said supplicant, kissing one of her hands and I noticed how she shivered.

_**"Fine, but if I suddenly fall asleep..."**_ She started warning and I chuckled in joy.

_**"If you fall asleep, I'll understand it and I'll tuck you."**_ I interrupted her, smiling at her.

_**"Okay, deal."**_ She replied smiling delicately.

_**"Thank you."**_ I smiled sweetly at her and then I kissed her hands again. _**"Could you lend me a quilt? I'm kinda cold." **_

_**"Oh, Darren. Come here..."**_ Freckles suddenly said, making room for me in the bed and I looked at her raising eyebrows, surprised. No, I didn't say it because I wanted her to let me in her bed.

_**"No, with the quilt is fine, really."**_ I said quickly because I didn't want her to misunderstand me.

_**"Come on, Darren. It's cold, come here. Come on, I'm freezing."**_ She hurried me, patting the bed.

_**"Are you sure?"**_ I asked gingerly, looking at her. _**"I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable..."**_

_**"Come on, Darren."**_ She insisted and I couldn't help it but smile.

_**"Alright."**_ I said with a bright and vivid smile.

I took off my shoes and my hoodie to get into the bed, right next to her. Once I was next to her, I covered both of us with the quilt and I couldn't help it but snuggle up to her. Of course she shivered at the slight touch of my body against hers, but she didn't move away. Suddenly I started to feel the warmth and I felt very comfortable and cheery. Dammit, I loved being with her like this. I took the risk to snuggle up to her even closer, and she let me do so. And I could keep getting closer... I was going to get closer until she stops me. I wrapped my arms around her waist, holding her in my arms tightly and I felt extremely good, man. And that feeling was nothing compared when she placed her hands on my chest. Now we were face to face and we were looking into each other's eyes very intensely. I smiled fondly at her and I said nothing, I was just too happy and I was enjoying this moment way too much to ruin it by saying something. And my heart kinda melted when she smiled back at me. I moved closer to her so now our noses were touching while we were still looking into each other's eyes. She wasn't trying to stop me and I was feeling so good because of that. I should try to talk to her, because being like this with her was what I wanted to do always.

_**"Freckles... There's something I want to tell you."**_ I whispered, still lost into her big and deep eyes while my heart started beating fast.

_**"No, please. Don't ruin this moment."**_ She whispered gently, still looking into my eyes.

_**"Trust me, the least I want is to ruin this moment."**_ I said nuzzling my nose with hers._** "Do you remember what I told you after we kissed?"**_

_**"I do. You told me you love me, and I told you that I love you back."**_ She whispered quietly. She didn't seem to be uncomfortable or nervous because of this situation, she was very calm and she was smiling and looking at me in the eye; this was amazing.

_**"Yes, exactly. I really meant it, you know? But I don't think you got what I tried to say."**_ I whispered feeling how my heart was about to explode. _**"You told me that you love me back because I'm your best friend. Well, you're my best friend too, but... When I said I love you, what I really meant to say was that I'm in love with you, Freckles."**_ I said looking deeply into her eyes while my body was trembling because of the confession recently told. I was expectant to know how Freckles would react this time.

_**"I know you tried to say that, but I refuse to believe it. We've been drinking alcohol, and we've been distant for a while and suddenly I came here to live in the same house than you, spending a lot of time together. You may think you meant it, but maybe you're just confused because of the sudden change."**_ She whispered quiet, still looking at me. So, did she already know what I tried to say but she played fool? I needed to know which her feelings for me were.

_**"No Freckles, I'm not confused."**_ I said shaking my head, while still looking at her and wrapping my arms around her waist. It was time to tell her it all. _**"I want to tell you everything. You have no idea how hard is for me to tell you this; because I'm scared, I'm scared to lose you after I tell you it all. But I can't keep holding this any longer; I need to tell you and then you're gonna be free to do what you think is right, but not before I confess what I've been feeling for you since a long time ago."**_ I said feeling very nervous but determined. Freckles was silent, only looking at me very intently, as if she was letting me to say what I wanted to say. _**"Alright... well..."**_ I started saying with trembling voice, mumbling. Fuck, I needed to calm down, I couldn't talk.

_**"Darren, we can talk about this later if you aren't ready yet. It's okay."**_ She whispered, smiling kindly. Oh well, her smile was what I needed to be calm, her smile made me feel sure again.

_**"No, I'm ready now."**_ I said smiling sweetly at her, now placing a hand on her cheek and the other one still on her waist. _**"I remember the first time I saw you, at Spanish class. I was very distracted thinking about music and stuff, but suddenly something caught my attention; it was you. If it wasn't thanks to Mr. Rhodes, probably I'd have never seen you because I remember you were very but very shy. That was the first time I saw you, and I looked at you straight into your eyes, that was the first time that your eyes amazed me. But I gotta admit that in that moment I had that stupid prejudice about you, and it changed when I saw you facing Brian, as no one has done before."**_ I said very thoughtful just because I was remembering it all, it seemed as if it was a long time ago; but I still could remember that moment perfectly. Freckles was just looking at me in silence, listening to me very intently. _**"And I remember our very awkward first talk, when Brian hit you for the first time; I was a real ass that day, I called you in a derogatory way and I'll always regret it. But I talked to you and since that moment I thought it could be cool to get to know you a bit more."**_ I said smiling softly while she was now looking at me frowning and a bit amused.

"_**Yeah, that was very awkward. I can't believe you remember that day, I was so ashamed."**_ She said giggling softly and the sound of her laughter made me smile widely. _**"But, really, Darren? Cool?"**_ She asked frowning amused.

"_**Yeah, really!" **_I assured, also smiling amused. _**"Whatever… Then I saw you for the first time in drama class, when you gave us that awesome performance, although I knew you weren't acting... You weren't, but you were amazing; I was glad to see you there. It's funny how since that moment we started talking more often. But I didn't have all these feelings for you yet. At first, I felt pity for you, for all that was happening to you; then I started to have this feeling that you were actually a cool girl; then I don't know how it happened, but in the blink of an eye we became really good friends. I always thought that we had this special and weird connection, as if we didn't really need to spend a lot of time together to be as good friends as we were; it was just there, implicitly."**_ I said now looking deeply into Freckles' eyes, still amazed by the special connection we had, it was something intriguing, something that I still couldn't get but I was glad it was there. Freckles, meanwhile, was also looking at me deeply in the eyes. Oh, her eyes were so bright and shinning. _**"With time I got to know you more and more, and every single thing of you was amazing me. I remember myself thinking: Where have you been all this time? Yeah, I couldn't believe we didn't meet each other before, you were so like me and at the same time you weren't like me at all, but I still loved that from you."**_ I said giggling softly and Freckles smiled sweetly in silence. _**"And then it came a point that I was all the time thinking about you and it scared me. I couldn't get why you were on my mind all the time, I couldn't get why I had this urge to see you all the time; and it scared me like hell the way I was enjoying a lot whenever I was with you, the way I was feeling something on my stomach whenever I held your hand or whenever I was near you. I didn't want to admit that I was actually falling for you, and I was falling hard."**_ I said now with trembling voice because I was thrilled.

This time I wasn't nervous, because somehow Freckles was making me feel comfortable while saying all of this, even though she was silent. I don't know; it was as if she wasn't uncomfortable with the things I was saying; she was more like surprised and confused, she seemed to be thinking about something but she was listening to me for sure. I only held her hands and I intertwined my fingers with hers; I looked deeply into her eyes, and I smiled fondly at her; and when she smiled back at me, my heart skipped a beat. Maybe it wasn't a bad idea to be confessing this to her, after all.

"_**You were my friend and you became my best friend, I couldn't be in love with you. So I denied it for a long time, I tried to convince myself that I wasn't falling for you, but it was hard. I loved and I love absolutely everything about you, even when you're upset or when you want to kill me when I do stupid things."**_ I said giggling softly and she giggled softly along with me, and her eyes brightened, because her eyes always brighten when she laughs and that was amazing. _**"Then, the night before you had the accident... you asked me how it felt to be in love, and I told you. When I was telling you that, I realized that I was in fact in love with you, even if I tried to deny it, I knew you weren't only my friend to me. And that night, you don't remember, but that night was the first time I kissed you. And I totally loved it; it was like my best kiss ever. When I was kissing you, I felt a lot of things that I've never felt before, you made me feel in a way I can barely explain with words. And damn hell, I was so scared by the way I felt when I kissed you; 'cause dammit! You were my friend!"**_ I exclaimed almost exaggeratedly, frowning and smiling faintly.

I started to feel that ticklish on my stomach when I thought about the way I felt when I kissed her for the first time. Whoa man, I had that memory so fresh on my mind that it was unbelievable. How could someone make me feel the same way she did? It was beyond belief. Freckles was only looking at me intensely. And she frowned slightly when suddenly a gloomy sparkle appeared on my eyes: I started to remember what happened after that night, something that came to happen to be one of the worst things, for everything. I also needed to tell her this, I needed to tell her it all, like absolutely everything; this seemed to be the right time.

"_**From that day I was big damn mess and things got even worse when you lost your memory. I was losing you, Freckles and I felt so broken when I found out you couldn't remember me; you have no idea. I started to think that you couldn't remember me because I wasn't important to you and it broke me the way you were ignoring me. I wasn't broken because I was thinking you were a bad person, I always knew you are an extraordinary person, no matter what; I was broken because I was feeling so very hopeless and helpless without you. It was as if I couldn't be without you because all I wanted was to hear your laughter again, to talk to you, to see you, to just fool around without doing anything but just being together. I needed you, I missed you like hell; it was ridiculous but it was the truth." **_I said and my voice cracked, feeling the lump in my throat.

Oh man, it was very sad to remember that moment; it was as if I still couldn't get over it, no matter how hard I tried to forget it and be fine; there was still a scar on me that wouldn't let me to get over it. Yeah, I was like super happy because now Freckles remembered me; yeah, I was so glad that we were kinda fine now; but I was still hurt because while she didn't remember me, she said very hurtful things to me. I knew that probably she didn't do it intentionally, I knew that I needed to understand her, that she said all those things because in that moment I was like a stranger for her and I kept reminding her things she couldn't remember. But still... I couldn't stop thinking that maybe she actually thought once all the hurtful things she told me those times. And I could have stood all those hurtful things if others were the ones to tell me those; but I couldn't stand it from Freckles, because she was Freckles, and it hurt me to think that the girl I loved thought terrible things about me. I started to feel insecure again, when I remembered the real reasons why telling this to her was even harder. I knew what she was going to do now, because I already knew her way too much; and it wasn't my point, I didn't want her to feel like that... And she did exactly what I thought and didn't want.

_**"I'm so very sorry, Darren. I never wanted to make you feel that way; it was something I couldn't control... It never crossed my mind to hurt your feelings, I don't even want it. I never thought I could be that kind of person who hurts so many people; but I ended up doing it, I ended up being like those people who hurt me in the past and keep hurting me sometimes. I really hate myself for that."**_ She said with choked voice and teary eyes, feeling guilty as I knew she would feel. Damn, I didn't want to make her feel guilty or anything like that.

_**"Hey, no, Freckles."**_ I said sweetly, looking at her sadly, caressing her soft cheek to reassure her. She cried those tears she was holding back and I wiped her tears away with my thumb. _**"Don't cry, Freckles, please."**_ I whispered very kindly and I had to contain myself not to kiss her. She buried her head on my chest and my heart started beating faster at the touch, but I focused on the situation we were and the talk we were having; so I only held her in my arms very tightly and reassuringly, caressing her long hair. _**"Do not ever say that you hate yourself for something that was out of your control, it wasn't your fault at all, and I know it perfectly and I do understand why you did what you did. It's reasonable. And do not ever say that you're like those people, because you aren't. You're not like them; you're an extraordinary person instead."**_ I said and I kissed her forehead very smoothly while still holding her in my arms. Whoa, I truly loved being like this with her; I only would have changed the tears for laughter, and the situation would have been perfect. _**"If I'm telling you this, is not because I want you to feel bad or guilty. I'm telling you this because you need to know it all, so you'll fully understand why I feel the way I feel for you. But if you feel guilty, I'll stop telling you this, because that's not my point, I never wanted to make you feel guilty, because I know you aren't. Do you want me to stop?"**_ I asked looking deeply into her eyes and she, still with eyes full of tears, shook her head. _**"But you have to promise me that you will never think again that you did things wrong, because what you did was for a reason and a very understandable reason in that particular moment and believe me when I tell you that I understand you. But promise me that you won't feel bad or then I'll stop, because I'd never forgive myself to make you feel bad for something that isn't your fault. Actually, I'd never forgive myself to make you feel bad; no matter if it was something you did wrong or not. So, promise?"**_

_**"I promise."**_ She said this time smiling kindly at me, apparently thankful. I, of course, smiled back at her and that was when she rested her head on my chest and wrapped her arms around me. Oh fuck, I couldn't help it but feel how my body started trembling because of the emotion. She wrapped her arms around me without even asking and it felt great. I gulped, trying to focus on all I wanted to tell her. First, she needed to know everything, so then I had to contain myself.

_**"Alright... I'll keep telling you then..."**_ I said running my fingers through her arms very softly, while holding her. _**"I couldn't lie to myself any longer: I loved you so fucking much and I was losing you; it was exasperating. I remember Jen telling me that I should be patient, that soon you were going to remember everything; but I couldn't just be fine while I was seeing you were growing apart from me, now hanging out with that asshole of Brian. And then everything went to hell... I treated you like crap that day in drama class and I knew I screwed it all, but it was because I was tired of being so hopeless. I remember I didn't want to see you again; of course I was lying to myself again, because I did want to see you, but I couldn't because it was hurting me the way you were very distant from me even when we were in the same place. It was killing me, but I couldn't do anything."**_

I said frowning and with sad eyes, because I thought she wasn't looking at me; but when I looked down to see her face, she was resting her chin on my chest, looking fixedly into my eyes with her big and now rueful eyes. I thought about stopping telling her this, because she was feeling bad, I knew it. But then she did something I wasn't expecting, surprising me again: she caressed my cheek again, as if she was apologizing. And it was a mix of feelings what I felt. Goddammit, it felt so good to feel her thumbs caressing my cheeks for the very first time. How was I supposed to keep telling her my story? But I needed to do it, to make things right.

"_**And then I got that text message from you, asking me if we could meet at the Golden Gate Bridge. I tried not to meet you that day, because I decided I needed to be away from you for a while, but my desire to see you and to be near you, won me. I'm sure you still think you arrived earlier than me that night, but it wasn't like that. I was hiding behind a damn tree, just looking at you on the sly, feeling very scared to walk to you because I didn't know what was going to happen and I wasn't ready to lose you completely. But when you were about to leave I thought that I'd never forgive myself if I let you go, so I walked to you. At first it was an uncomfortable situation, but when you let me hold your hand, a little hope grew in my heart. And that... that gave me all the strength I needed to keep going, to try to improve things between us. Gosh, I missed you so much."**_ I whispered with choked voice, holding now her hands while she was still resting her head on my chest. Freckles' eyes were shinning like never before, I didn't know if it was because she wanted to shed tears or if it was because she was emotional. The fact was that I started to feel like a pressure on my chest because of the thrill to have her now in my arms and because all the feelings she was making me feel. Before talking again, I took a deep breathe. _**"That same night... I couldn't help it but kissing you again. Shit, your lips were like calling me, like I had this need to kiss you, to hold you in my arms, to just cuddle with you. And you remembered everything and I was like the happiest man, you remembered me."**_ I said completely with cracked voice, man I needed to control it, but I couldn't avoid it, I was feeling like super sensitive while I was remembering everything, while I was trying to tell her how much I loved her. _**"The point is, I had to come to the point to be about to lose you to finally face my real feelings for you, to accept and face the fact that I was completely and undoubtedly in love with you."**_

I whispered, now leaning my head to nuzzle my nose with hers, while I closed my eyes just to feel this, to feel her more intensely. My body was trembling, not only because of the thrill, but also because I was still scared by the way she could react with this new confession. But if I was already risking our friendship, I needed to risk it all and tell her why I loved her this much. I was having troubles to speak again because the nervousness was making me babble and I couldn't just talk. She was letting me to caress her, to hold her in my arms, to be just as tender as I wanted to be with her, even though I knew I could do more for her, just that I didn't want to carry away with her, not now when I didn't finish to say everything. I slowly opened my eyes to find her looking into my eyes, and there was a moment when our eyes met and we couldn't stop staring each other intensely. Looking at her like this was making things harder to me, harder because, damn, I wanted her so badly. She was very silent and she wasn't smiling, but somehow, by the way she was looking at me, I knew it wasn't something bad. I was so close to her... I wanted to kiss her... maybe if I just leaned my head a little more so I could reach her lips... No. No, Darren! Don't screw this; tell her all you feel for her for once and all. Still nuzzling my nose with hers, I placed my hands on her cheeks and I caressed them with my thumbs, tenderly. I smiled fondly at her and when she smiled, I felt relaxed: my nervousness disappeared and all the feelings for her that I was holding back, suddenly soared. I let my sprit soar right in that moment. It was just me and her, and nothing could be more perfect than this...so, Why don't to tell her everything? Why don't risk everything? Maybe it was worth it. Now, it was the moment to explain her why I loved her, which the things that made me fell in love with her this much were. I took a very long and deep breathe and I stared at her, while still caressing her cheeks.

"_**And yeah, I love everything about you: I love the way you are physically and personally; I love your eyes, your lips, your hair, the sound of your laughter, the way you play with your fingers whenever you're nervous, the way you blush when something embarrass you, the way you babble and ramble when you're feeling uncomfortable, the way you always have a smile on your face even when you're having a shitty day, the way your eyes brighten when something you like is happening, I love your humility and your graciousness, your sympathy and your clumsiness, your brightness and intelligence, I love to talk to you, I love to walk to you holding hands, I love to hold you in my arms, I love to snuggle up with you, I love to tickle you, I love your smell it's so addictive; I love the way you can tell me stuff with your eyes without uttering a word, man, I thought that such a thing only happened on movies!"**_ I said just as mushy as I was feeling; now laughing while she giggled softly. I looked at her fixedly, smiling fondly at her by the way she giggled and the way she was looking at me with that twinkle on her eyes, I've never seen such a beauty. Man, I was feeling so mild and maudlin. _**"And I fucking love your cute freckles." **_I said smiling brightly, connecting all of her little freckles very slowly, it was like a funny game to play. And I did notice she was looking at me slightly frowning and smiling kind of amused. When I noticed this, I only looked at her and smiled even brighter. _**"But mostly, I love the way you make me feel: you make me feel in a way I can't explain, because it's impossible to explain, you can only feel it, it's so weird and so amazing. Look…" **_I said grabbing softly one of her hands and I placed it right on my heart. I noticed how she shivered at my touch and I saw how she was looking at me just as fervent as I was looking at her. I couldn't explain it; it was as if our eyes had a special connection. _**"You make my heart beat fast; no one has that effect on me, only you."**_

At that time, we stared into one another's eyes very intensely and fervently for a long time. I was totally lost into her eyes and I couldn't help it. I was trying to figure out what she was thinking about all of these I was confessing to her; but I couldn't somehow. At times I was feeling as if she loved me back the same way; but at other times, I was feeling as if she didn't want to hear me saying I was in love with her this way. And it came a moment when she looked away from me, breaking the eye contact and moving her hand away from my heart. Whoa, what did it mean? I started feeling nervous again, but what could I do? This feeling was real and I couldn't just simply change my feelings. Wow, I've never felt this way before; like having ups and downs while still having the same conversation. So, with trembling voice now, I started saying the last thing that needed to be said.

"_**So yeah, I love you and I love you so much, Freckles. It took me a long time to admit it, but finally here I am, telling you my real feelings for you. I don't know what's going to happen now, I don't even know if you love me just the same way I do; I don't even know if you ever had these feelings for me. It took me a long time to decide to come over here and say it all; but I took the risk, because I can't keep hiding this love I feel for you. There's nothing I want more than to be with you; but I would never push you into something you don't want. If you don't feel the same for me, then it's alright and I wish you could forgive me for this I'm feeling that I never expected to feel; and I wish we could still be friends; because, after all, you're still my best friend."**_ I said with cracked voice while I got closer to her and I held both of her hands. She was still looking away, but then she looked into my eyes and that was the moment when I took advantage to rest my forehead on hers. I closed my eyes for a while, just to feel her. Holy shit, I wanted to kiss her, but I respected her, so I didn't do such a thing. I gulped before talking again, now in a whisper, opening my eyes to look at her again. _**"But if by chance you feel the same than me, I beg you to give me a chance to prove you that I'll do anything for you, to show you that this thing between us can work, I beg you to let me get in. You're all I need, Freckles; and I honestly don't know what I'd do you if you ever miss me, 'cause I can't picture myself without you, not anymore."**_

When I finished telling her, I looked at her, expecting to hear her saying something, but instead there was an abysmal silence. She was only looking at me with eyes wide open and kinda stunned; she was like opening her mouth to say something but nothing really came out from her mouth. I was still resting my forehead on hers, so I could see even the smallest expressions of her face. She was indeed kinda edgy. Man, why wasn't she answering me? I was very eager; I needed to hear some kind of answer. But I decided to control my anxiety and give her time; after all, I knew that probably she never expected me to say something like this, this was like a new thing for her and it was more than obvious that she'd be kinda confused and stunned.

_**"I don't know what to say."**_ She finally whispered and looked down, moving her face away from mine. Oh crap, that wasn't a good sign. _**"Oh god, I'm so confused..."**_ She said troubled and then she looked up to me with her big and stunned eyes. _**"How can you say me all of this now? I mean... you and my sister... Darren, this is not right."**_ She said with trembling voice and I felt bad, man, so bad. Why couldn't she understand that I didn't love her sister? That what her sister and I had was just more like a fanciful and whimsical thing?

_**"What about your sister, Freckles?"**_ I asked kinda distressed and a bit tired to hear her mentioning her sister all the time. _**"I mean, I know it's your sister and you women kind of have a sort of codes or something... But I just can't see what your sister has to do with this. I already told you that she isn't my girlfriend and she never was; it was just... like an outburst what I had with her. She never loved me and yeah, I'm not gonna lie you, maybe I was interested on your sister, but that was before I met you; when you appeared, you've turned my world upside down and it's like my life is spinning 'round you now. If you feel something for me, I don't want that the reason that stops you from being with me is your sister."**_

_**"What are you saying Darren? She's my sister, it doesn't matter what I feel for you or not; she's my sister and I wouldn't want to hurt her, no matter if she hurt me in the past or not, she's gonna be always my sister."**_ Freckles said frowning, still troubled, and then she sighed. _**"You know, it comes a point when things, sadly, cannot be as you wished, because there are other people involved. My sister, she does love you and I cannot be with the person my sister loves because it wouldn't be right; because... I wouldn't want it to happen to me, so I won't do it; despite everything. And I cannot be with someone who dated my sister, it's just not right."**_

_**"Freckles, please..."**_ I exclaimed anguished, I knew this was going to be hard. Damn the time I dated Mandy. If only I had been the brave enough to admit my feelings for Freckles before... this would never have happened that way. _**"Your sister doesn't love me and what I felt for her was only a crush, I never felt for her what I feel for you. Don't do this to me, don't put your sister as an excuse because I've talked to her recently and she was the one who encouraged me to tell you what I really feel for you, she was the one who told me not to give up so easily and she was the one who advised me to talk to you about this. So, please, tell me it was worth it all I've told you."**_ I said with choked voice, looking at her deeply into her eyes while she was frowning, apparently even more confused.

_**"What have you talked to my sister? What has she told you?"**_ She asked bewildered.

_**"She told me she was going to kick my ass if I hurt you in case I wasn't completely sure I was in love with you; and she told me that if I was sure I was in love with you, I should go for you. She told me she was going to be happy for us and that I should risk everything. And then, she made it clear that she was advising me not because she wanted to help me, but because she was doing this for you. And I honestly don't know what she tried to say when she said she was doing this for you, I couldn't get it, but it doesn't matter, I guess it's something personal... What matters is that your sister encouraged me to do this, so how could she be in love with me if she was telling me to risk everything to be with you? How could your sister stop you from being with me after this? I don't know what you feel for me, and, as I told you, I don't even know if you want to be with me... But what I know is that your sister isn't an impediment for us if what you want is to be with me, as I'd want."**_ I said almost exasperated, looking at her anxiously while she had that disturbed look. _**"Freckles... I really, really love you."**_

"_**I'm sorry, but I honestly don't know if I can believe it…"**_ She answered in a whisper, looking down, totally avoiding my gaze.

"_**Why would you say something like that?"**_I asked without taking my eyes off her. Well, I was distressed, that wasn't the kind of answer I was expecting to hear.

"_**Because I'm not the kind of girl guys fall in love with."**_ She answered shyly and very softly, still looking down. I noticed how she was blushing now, apparently feeling uncomfortable. Was this her real reason? Man, that seemed like very heartbreaking. How could she think such a thing? How?

"_**That's a big damn lie."**_I assured loudly and resolutely, staring into her eyes while she looked up at me kinda dumbfounded. As it happened before, we stared for a long time, getting lost into each other's eyes. _**"If you weren't the kind of girl guys fall in love with, then I wouldn't be here right now, looking at you and thinking how beautiful you are, dying to kiss you and hug you, wanting to walk holding hands with you and take care of you always, wanting to give you everything about me and get everything about you, and dying to tell everybody "Hey, look, this is my girlfriend"."**_I said with soft voice and dreamy eyes, looking deeply at her, smiling slightly and fondly, and holding one of her hands. Oh man, how I wanted to call her like that! In the meantime, she was looking at me with bright eyes. _**"So don't say that you aren't that kind of girl, because you are. So now tell me the truth, what are you afraid of? Don't you like the idea of being in love?"**_

"_**No, I am in love with the idea of being in love. I love the feeling you get when you're around someone you have feelings for, I love how happy it makes me, I love being able to have someone to talk to at all times, having someone make you smile and laugh."**_ She answered shyly but frankly, trying to look at me in the eye, but feeling uncomfortable to do it all the time. Then she looked down and said something else, now in a whisper so I had to get closer to hear clearly what she was saying. _**"But I'm scared of the idea of being in love too, though. I'm scared of rejection; I'm scared of being hurt, and being brought down." **_She said still looking down, with a sad and apparently ashamed voice.

I stared at her for a while, thinking about how much she has been hurt in the past so that now she couldn't believe that something real and good could be happening to her; I was trying to find the words to let her know all I was feeling. When I found the words, I snuggled up to her even closer, wrapping an arm around her waist and placing my other hand on her cheek, caressing it with my thumb.

"_**You should know that I won't ever try to hurt you or bring you down; I'll try to make it right, because that's what I truly want. I want to make it right with you because I love you the way too much to screw this. And maybe I'm a little scared too, because I never felt such a thing for someone, and it's always scary when you face and feel new things never felt; but I know that I want to try to figure out what all these new feelings are about, together. So I know it's scary because I'm scared too, but we have each other."**_I said sweetly looking at her beautiful bright eyes, trying to let her know that I really meant it. I was still caressing her cheek to focus on another thing than kissing her as I really, really wanted. Wow, how come someone could have this effect on me?_**"So don't think about the things that could come to happen because, after all, we'll never know what's going to happen next, we'll have to figure it out with time. Present is the only certain thing we have, because the future is unknown and the past is just a memory we sometimes tend to distort."**_I said shrugging and I noticed she was thoughtful. I gulped before talking again, I didn't want to be insistent, but I really needed to know which actually her feelings for me were, despite all the fears. _**"So tell me what you feel right now, tell me what you feel whenever you're with me and when you aren't with me, let me know how you felt when I told you my real feelings for you. Those are the things I want to hear you saying now. I told you all these feelings I was hiding which were so hard to tell you; I want you to forget about every prejudice and shit, and I want you to be honest with yourself and with me. So tell me, please, how you feel about me." **_I said hoarsely, looking very intently at her, the girl I loved. Please, she needed to tell me she was feeling the same than me or I wouldn't know what to do next; I didn't know what I was going to do with my feelings and my desires to be with her if she didn't feel the same.

"_**Well, I'm gonna be honest. I don't know how to do this, because I never ever talked about my deepest feelings with someone, I don't know how to do this because I've never been in a situation like this; but I'll try my best." **_Freckles said with trembling voice just as her body.

I was so close to her that I could feel how her heart was beating fast, she was nervous and I noticed it because she started playing with her fingers. I needed to make her feel comfortable somehow. So that, I started to twist her hair around my finger, while I smiled warmly at her. Then I figured out a new thing about her, judging by the expression of pleasure and relax that she had on her face as soon as I started doing it: she really liked when someone was petting her hair; and I loved her soft hair, so it was a good thing. Now she had her eyes closed and she stayed like that for a while, until she opened her eyes again, showing me a pair of dreamy and serene eyes. So then I started running my fingers through the nape of her neck, still playing with her hair. She was now smiling softly and relaxed. Anyway, before talking again, she took a deep breath and then she sighed.

"_**You've taught me and showed me many things. You've taught me that I can love, that people can care about me. You showed me the feeling of being in someone's arms when they mean the world to you. The feeling of compassion. So many wonderful things. You've also showed me that people break promises; that people don't always hold true to their word. You've taught me that you can love someone more than anything in the world, yet hate them just as much. That just because someone says something, that doesn't mean it's true. I do thank you for that."**_ She said calmly and with an enchanting voice.

I couldn't stop staring at her and I couldn't stop the feeling on my chest, as if my heart was about to explode because of the nervousness. After all, everything depended on what she was saying now; everything was going to change, for good or bad, after what she had to say. Yeah, I was nervous and excited and scared and so in love. So many feelings. She paused to look all over my face before speaking again.

"_**The point is that when I'm with you, I act different. In a good way of course. I smile more and laugh more. I don't have to pretend everything is okay when it's really not. With you, I can drop the fake smile and put on a real one. I don't feel hurt and alone when I'm with you. Instead, I feel safe and loved. You're easy to talk to, and you listen to me. I don't have to worry about holding back with you. I don't feel self-conscious. I don't even feel insecure or sad. You show me that you really do care, and you're not just pretending. I really appreciate your company, because with you I'm different. With you, I'm happy."**_ She voiced profoundly and intimately.

She was looking steadily into my eyes with her eyes sparkling and glinting as never before. And god, her words were so poignant and soulful to me; I was feeling super blithe and thrilled. Man, she was saying that she was happy when she was with me, that she smiled more when I was around her. That was what I was wishing all this time to hear from her. This was crazy and so awesome. But then, a dark and gloomy spark appeared in her eyes as she looked down with a sad expression. Oh no, what the hell was that? It was super scary, I knew that something not good was going to come after this and I didn't want it.

"_**But I can't see us together. Not because I don't feel for you the same you feel for me; not because I don't want to be with you, because… I always wanted to be with you. But I had time to think, you know. And the truth is that I don't want to start a new thing with you because… What if we're not meant to be? What if this doesn't work? What then? All we have now will go straight to hell and I love you too much to lose you because of this stupid feel I have for you. I'm afraid this could be a huge mistake and I honestly don't know what the right thing to do is."**_ She whispered sadly, not being able to look at me in the eye.

I was now looking at her frowning, trying to get what exactly she was trying to say. Not that I couldn't understand her, but I just couldn't get why she would give up on something before giving it a try, just assuming she wanted to be with me. Why was this too hard? Why telling someone something like this always had to be hard? I knew the answer, though; I knew it was because we cared too much to lose something… But if I took the risk it was because I wasn't afraid to make a mistake, because I knew that if things worked, then it would be better than what already was; why couldn't she do the same?

"_**You over think things. You say, 'What if we're not meant to be?' Well you know what? So what?"**_I asked raising my eyebrows and shrugging, while she was looking at me surprised because I kinda said it loudly and fervently.

So then was the time when I sat cross-legged in bed and she looked at me frowning and confused with parted lips; I only moved closer to her, while she was still lying in bed, and I placed both of my hands on her cheeks, so that our eyes met. It was an intense look and our faces were like five inches away.

"_**Make a mistake with me. Nobody goes through this life and does everything perfectly. We're all going to fail, so you might as well make a mistake with me. Sometimes, we take a chance that has this much at stake and we look back and in hindsight, what seemed wrong looks more like right. So I say worst case, we'll be left with lots of good memories. This chance we have? Well, it's worth it, so make a mistake with me. I'm telling you the right thing to do is to make a mistake with me."**_I said with trembling voice because of the intense feeling I had while looking at her so close to me and telling her this. She was like looking at me dumbfounded, still with lips parted. My heart was beating at breakneck speed, man. She mouthed several times trying to say something, but she didn't utter a single word; until she inhaled and exhaled and finally started talking.

"_**Listen…If you are going to fall in love with me, it's only fair that you know what you are falling in love with. You are falling in love with my insecurities. You are falling in love with my immaturity, my constant need to feel loved and appreciated, my overactive tear ducts, my tendency to be too clingy. You fall in love with my hopes and my dreams, and how I'm a hopeless romantic at heart. If you fall in love with me, you fall in love with my distrust and all my imperfections and my perception that nobody could ever love me. But, you are also falling in love with the way my eyes will smile when I'm with you, the way I'll text you in the mornings just to tell you that I hope you have a great day."**_ She said with trembling voice and bright eyes.

Man, I never heard her saying something more honest than this, it was as if this was hard for her to say, but she was saying it anyway. I was just admiring her beauty and her open-heartedness; I was just like a fool looking at her. Her words... wow, her words gave me hopes, those hopes to be with her that I thought were lost. She was still lying in bed and I was still sitting next to her, still with my hands on her cheeks; but now I rested my forehead on hers and I smiled fondly at her, obviously moved because of her words to me. She didn't try to move away, she did nothing to stop me from doing this; instead, she smiled back to me. Could this be actually real?

"_**I kinda love what I'm falling in love with. It's pretty awesome." **_I whispered so almost in front of her lips, smiling widely, kind of sweet and kind of amused.

She was smiling at me so very sweetly and there was an intense twinkle on her eyes that it was too hard for me not to kiss her. Man, we were very close, and we were silent, just smiling and staring at each other. She wasn't going to do anything, I knew it; she was shy. And I wasn't sure if I should do something or not, I didn't know if I should kiss her as I wanted like hell. What if she didn't want it? But... She told me all those things, and now I was thinking that she was feeling almost the same than me, maybe not as much as me; but she had feelings for me, at least that was what I understood, what I wanted to believe. And... What if she wanted a kiss too? I needed to take the risk, worst case I was going to be cursed but then maybe she would forgive me. But I just wanted to hold onto this moment a little more; I loved whenever our eyes meet because, I don't know, it was as if there was something whenever we looked into each other's eyes, something that was so intimate and so precious. I wanted to grasp with me every single thing of her: her bright eyes, her long eyelashes, her sweet smile, her cute freckles, her soft skin; everything. She was so beautiful and this situation was so wondrous. I slowly moved my hands, so that my thumbs were on her cheeks and my fingers were on the back of her ears; and I gently caressed her cheeks with my thumbs, while leaning my head to nuzzle her nose with mine. I was still staring at her eyes, but then my gaze turned to look at her lips; I couldn't help it, her lips were so addictive for me and more when I remembered how it felt to kiss them, I wanted to feel it again. I don't know for how long I stared at her lips, but it seemed an eternity, because I could even notice what seemed unnoticeable: every single crack of her lips. Oh man, fuck, I needed to kiss her; I couldn't contain myself any longer. But I didn't want to make it a passionately one; I wanted to make it a very tender one, a kiss that was meaningful to me, and I wanted to make it meaningful to her too. So I just dared to do it. I closed my eyes and I pressed my lips against hers, it was more like brushing her lips with mine, very slightly, just to feel her lips. Then I kissed her slightly but affectionately, and after that, I parted my lips from her, but I was still touching them slightly. She did nothing to stop me, she did nothing to push me away; so I just kissed her again, this time a little more deep without stop being tender; but those kisses were more like pecks. I repeated this several times until I noticed she was feeling the comfortable enough to deepen the kiss. I pressed my lips against hers again, but this time I tried to separate her lips, so that I could touch her tongue with mine; and she let me do so. Not long after, the kiss turned more vivid and passionate. I was breathless, man, this was feeling so very amazing, as I always imagined. This kiss was very different from the others: Her lips tasted just as good as always; but the feeling was different because this time I wasn't scared, this time I wasn't thinking it was wrong; this time both of us were sure we wanted this, there was something new involved now and it was the true and honest love we were feeling for each other, with no worries to hide it because of fear; this kiss was like so natural and right. I slowly lay in bed next to her, while still kissing her, so now I was even more comfortable. The kiss was getting deeper and deeper and I was carrying away the way too much. Man, I thought this was impossible, but I felt as if my whole body was like jelly, I was feeling very light, and all the ticklish thing on my stomach... This was too much to handle, but not in bad way, it was more than awesome. How come I never felt this before? I wanted to feel her more, to feel her against me; so I placed a hand on her waist and I softly pulled her closer to me. Now I could feel her heart beating fast against mine, I could feel her fast breathing against me, and I felt how her body was slightly shivering. I couldn't stop kissing her but I needed to stop not to carry away the way too much until the point I was going to regret, because I didn't want to turn our first real and practically official kiss into an arousal thing. Because I knew myself and I knew my body, so that I knew that I was going to go all the way with her, and I didn't want it for now. So, with all my will power, I started softening the kiss until I was only brushing her lips with mine. So I opened my eyes and I saw she still had her eyes closed, with a facial expression I've never seen before, something that made me smile kindly in front of her lips. She seemed to be happy, and I was full of happiness. Yeah, I didn't care if it sounded sappy or whatever, this was like one of the best things that happened to me, she was like... wow, she was everything. She slowly opened her eyes and caught me looking deeply into her eyes; and, instead feeling nervous or embarrassed, she smiled in front of my lips as well and I felt how my heart melted. That was definitely a good thing. Oh man! Was I dreaming? Was my best friend and the girl I loved smiling because of our kiss? I wanted to tell her how fucking much I loved her, I wanted to tell her that this was all I wanted and needed, I wanted to tell her she was the one for me; but no sound came out from my mouth. Instead, we stared into each other's eyes, smiling fondly at each other; it was a very natural and calm situation, something... magical. I caressed softly her cheek, trying to show her how much this meant to me and she caressed my cheek fondly as well. How wow, that felt so nice; I couldn't remember the last time someone did it to me with such affection.

_**"Oh man, this feels like a million butterflies being farted out of a unicorn."**_ I said smiling softly and she giggled before she pecked my lips slightly. Oh man, she did it first than me! She was the one who did it and I felt so excited. I needed to ask her, I needed to do it: I needed to ask her that something I wanted to ask her since a long time ago. My heart started beating fast again, but I spoke anyway. _**"So... Freckles... Would you like to be my girlfriend?"**_ She looked at me with eyes wide open because of the surprise; and then she looked away nervously. What?

_**"Darren, please, listen... It's more than obvious that I love you, and I've loved you secretly for a long time; and trust me when I tell you that I've been always wishing for this moment to happen. But I only imagined it on my mind, I never thought it could actually happen and I still can't believe this is happening; and I'm happy, so happy. "**_ She said now looking deeply into my eyes, with a twinkle on her eyes and grinning slightly, but then the smile faded out and she looked down, distressed._** "But... I don't think I'm ready for this yet. Not because I'm not sure of my feelings for you, but because this is a whole new thing for me and I need time, I need to do this slowly. I wish I could do all the things you want as you said, that thing of walking holding hands everywhere, and telling everybody I'm your girlfriend and stuff... But I can't do this all of a sudden, I'm so sorry. But I'm not ready yet." **_She said now blushing and still avoiding my gaze.

_**"What do you mean? You don't want to be my girlfriend?"**_ I asked confused and kind of hurt. Why was she saying that? I couldn't get that, not after our kiss and those tokens of love. I really had hopes she was going to be my girlfriend after this and now everything kinda faded away.

_**"No, it's not like that. I do want to be your girlfriend, damn, I've always wanted it... It's just that I'm not ready to make this public so quickly... And please don't misunderstand me here; it's not because I feel ashamed of you or whatever..." **_She said now looking at me again, with teary eyes and still blushing. Then she kinda looked down ashamed and whispered something I couldn't hear; maybe she was just babbling. Then she cleared her throat and whispered something else, and this time I could hear that. _**"It's because I don't know how it's like to be someone's girlfriend and first I need to figure it out; first I need to feel self-confident about this and put aside all my insecurities, to make it right as I want; because you aren't anybody, you're... you're like everything to me."**_ And her voice cracked when she said this last thing. When she looked up to me, I was looking at her very thrilled. Yeah, she didn't want to be my girlfriend yet and it was kinda sad to me, but what she said was simply wonderful.

_**"I got it."**_ I said smiling fondly at her, and getting closer to caress her cheek sweetly. She looked at me amazed and more relieved. Then I held both of her hands and I intertwined my fingers with hers._** "If you don't want to make it public yet because you aren't ready to make it quick, then I'll patiently wait until you're ready. But I won't stay idly; instead I'll help you to feel completely sure and self-confident. And I won't stop making you feel all the love I feel for you in the meantime, I won't stop making you fall for me. And I'll do this and everything for you, if you assure me that you want to be my girlfriend. I just need to know if you really want to be called my girlfriend sometime, no matter if it takes days, weeks or even months to make it public; just knowing that sometime you'll want it is enough for me." **_

_**"I do want to be called your girlfriend sometime, Darren."**_ She said smiling warmly at me while caressing my hands with her thumbs. Oh man, I loved those things about her, her small but sweet gestures.

_**"That's all I need to know. Gee, you have no idea how happy you're making me feel; you have no idea how much I wished this, Freckles. I love you, I love you so much."**_ I whispered very close to her, resting my forehead against hers and nuzzling my nose with hers; just a bit unsure to kiss her again considering she wanted to take this slowly.

_**"I love you too, Dar."**_ She whispered looking at me with a twinkle in her eyes, and then she got even closer to peck my lips tenderly. Geez, I loved this. Of course I pecked her lips back, several times, smiling while doing this. I loved to be able to do this freely, unlike before, when it seemed I was like stealing her some kisses.

_**"Mhm..."**_ I mumbled in front of her lips, with a big grin on my face. Yeah, I was happy, man. _**"Do you love me more than that Bobby guy?"**_

_**"Bobby?"**_ She suddenly asked in disbelief and laughed out loud, amused. Well, obviously I wasn't getting it.

_**"What's the funny thing?"**_ I asked curiously and looking at her a bit suspiciously. I still didn't know anything about that Bobby guy and now that we were going to start something, I really wanted to know who this guy was and what he meant to her.

_**"Bobby is not a person, Darren."**_ She said looking at me amused, but slightly blushing. What the hell? This couldn't be true.

_**"What exactly do you mean?"**_ I asked confused and more intrigued.

_**"Well, yeah... Bobby is not a person..."**_ She said embarrassed, blushing harder. _**"It's...it's...well, do you remember when I told you what I was used to do whenever I was feeling down and I couldn't talk to anybody?"**_ She asked in a whisper and I nodded, quiet. _**"Well, the... you know, the pillow thing... well, I named it. Don't ask me the reasons because I don't know why I did such a stupid thing... It was a long time ago... Oh gosh, this is embarrassing." **_She said with trembling voice and blushing so hard that I couldn't avoid smiling amused because of her cuteness. When she noticed this, she frowned slightly. _**"Oh, you may be thinking I'm the stupidest and most ridiculous person in the entire world."**_

_**"Not at all."**_ I said still smiling amused and enjoying seeing how she was blushing. That was for sure the cutest thing ever. _**"I don't think it's stupid, I think I am stupid. You know why? Because I just realized that all this time I was so fucking jealous of a damn pillow, man. I really hated Bobby."**_ I giggled amused because of my silliness. _**"You have no idea how relieved I am now because I won't have to deal with Bobby just to protect the person I love the most. And... Call me mushy; but I'd love to be that pillow, in which you can blow off steam all you feel within yourself, in which you can lean on. I wish I could replace Bobby any soon."**_ I said all sappy, smiling at her and she smiled widely despite the maudlin thing.

_**"Would you really do that?"**_ She asked now running her fingers through my curls. I didn't like so much when people touched my hair, but with her everything was different; I truly loved when she did that.

_**"Of course I would. Actually, I'd feel like honored, I'd love that."**_ I replied, now petting her hair. _**"Oh girl, what do you do to me? I think there's no such a thing I wouldn't do for you. You see, I never felt this way. I do think you're a kind of witch or something like that."**_ I said giggling and she burst out laughing. Her laughter, my god, her stunning laughter. _**"You got me haunted and the eerie thing is that I love that."**_

_**"Get used at it, Criss. I totally forgot to warn you that from now on you'll be sort of my experiment for my new potions and witchcrafts."**_ She said raising an eyebrow amused and mysteriously and I grinned widely. That funny and quirky side of her was awesome.

_**"Is that so? Oh you sneaky devil!"**_ I said laughing and I started tickling her while she was laughing uncontrollably.

That was a laughter that I loved, a laughter that I'd never forget, a laughter that I was going to hear even more often, because she was my girl now. Oh whoa! She was indeed my girl now. That cute, sweet, beautiful, smart, lively, funny and softhearted girl was sort of my girlfriend now. Could I get something better? I didn't think so; she was perfect to me.

_**"Hey, Freckles... Tomorrow, remember me to show you something..."**_ I whispered in the silent room once we were cuddling on the same bed, about to sleep together as I pictured on my mind all the time. This was now real.

_**"What about?"**_ She asked in a sleepy voice, with her eyes already closed.

_**"Surprise."**_ I whispered in front of her lips, while I was snuggled up to her. _**"Goodnight, baby."**_ I whispered kinda nervous because of the way I called her. How would she take it? It was super weird, but it felt good.

_**"Sweet dreams, Dare."**_ She whispered and, in the darkness, I could notice a smile on her face. Then I felt something soft and sweet on my lips, she was pecking my lips. Yeah, definitely I was going to have a really good night and sweet dreams.


	20. You give me something

A/N: Hello everybody! A new chapter is up! Many of you have been wondering what would happen with Darren and Freckles now that they were couple... What would W do? Is the return of W now? Uhm, it's been a while since W doesn't appear, right? But who cares? They're a couple now, screw W! (I may seem a stupid writing this since I'm the writer of the story; but oh well.) No, really! The moment you've been waiting for so long finally came and now they're together; now only we have to see how their new relationship develops, who is intrigued? Anybody? Okay, okay, I'll stop. I'm gonna thank each one of you for your lovely reviews, I really loved them! So, here I go...

alicegursk: "OH MY FUCKING DEAD WIZARD GOD" I truly loved this line! It reminded me of AVPM, so it made me laugh! I love how you were so excited and happy for them! Judging by your previous reviews, you've been waiting for this moment to happen since a LONG time ago! So you finally got it! I hope you enjoyed it, then!

caarolineboeira1: Your mom thinks you're crazy now? Geez, that is my fault, I feel kind of guilty now! But if it makes you feel better, my whole family thinks I'm crazy, it's good to be crazy sometimes, I guess! I understand you; whenever I read something, I also get into the character so I guess I know what you mean! Aww that line you chose! Yeah, I used to feel like that when I was younger! (I feel like I'm talking as if I were a granny or something!) Trust me, with time, you won't think that anymore; you'll see that you're just what you want to be and with time, somehow, you start being more self-confident and that is great, is really hard though, but not impossible! I'm so happy you liked the last chapter! I tried to do my best there, trying to remember how it felt to be in love for the very first time!

Mockingjay-Potterhead-9: I love that super power! I really didn't know I had it and aww, well, you made me grin like a fool while I was reading it! Sometimes it's just really hard to believe it! And this story may be the last one I'm gonna write, I don't know; but don't worry because this story is gonna be a really long one! Like, you're gonna get bored of it because you're gonna think... When is this gonna end? haha. No, really, if I write everything as I planned (I always change things, my plans almost never work), you'll spend the whole next year still reading this story, if you still like it of course! About what you said of Freckles not having a real name... Yes, I did it on purpose. When I decided to start writing fanfictions, I thought that it could be cool if I never write a real name so people would identify themselves with the character as you said. I never thought it could be so hard, because sometimes I feel like I need a name! And well, also because the whole story is fictional and their lives (of the people who read this story) aren't as the story says; like, the personal things of each character and stuff. (I don't know if I'm explaining myself properly, I kind of suck at explaining) But well, I decided that I won't ever write a real name. So it amazes me that you feel you could be Freckles, I mean, that is really awesome! I'm really glad for that!

Kaylacriss332: Now you're gonna be mentioned thrice! :) Aww, I'm really happy that you liked the last chapter! I really liked to write it too; like, yes, they had to be together once and for all! W! That bitch! haha. Yeah, I know it's been a while since the last time you read about W; but the return is not gonna be nice. I'm also intrigued to know what W will do to them as a couple! To be honest I already wrote it, but I'm not telling! ;). Maybe things will get better or maybe it's gonna be the opposite! But for sure, you'll know about W soon!

Sarah: Aww, thank you a lot Sarah! I tried to do my best, to write it as sweet as possible, because they're kind of sweet and cute! And it's first love, so it had to be special! Anyway, when I read it again, I thought I could have written it even sweeter, but maybe I'll leave it for later! Yeah, I know that feeling about cliffhangers! I read a lot of books with cliffhangers and I remember myself thinking: Oh damn, I need to read the next chapter to know what it happens! And thanks to that I spent a lot of nights barely sleeping only to the read the next and next chapter. So I understand what you meant when you said it's a little annoying because you have to wait, I'd feel the same way! But I just can't help it, those books I read made me be this evil! Blame it on the books! :P

LiesMiranda: I just love your analogies! They always make me laugh! Yes, I still have to work on that, of not being so wordy! It's really hard because there's a lot I want to write about and I just want to write it all and it ends up being a damn essay, monograph or will; as you prefer to call it! And also sometimes because I have troubles to write well what I want to write, so I use so many words to explain one simple thing. Maybe it's because I need to keep learning English and new ways to write those things I want. Commentarius, I didn't read it! I guess I need to; I want to read more things, especially all the fanfictions that you wrote and a lot of things, summing up! In three weeks I'm gonna be free because I start my vacations, so I'll start reading more! I know, I wasn't sure of writing what Freckles said, but well, it has a point; Freckles is a very insecure girl and I want to write how she grows with time while discovering new feelings and all. I know, it was weird not to write a cliffhanger that time! Yes, you're kind of right; things will change from now on and there's gonna be ups and downs and W will appear again, finally! I'd call it W reloaded. I also do think it's pretty cool that you were the 111th reviewer! As a kind of reward for it, I'll give you a sneak peak... A new hint of W appears in this chapter! Now you'll have to read it to find it out!

MerryCrissmas: Your review was simply moving for me; you made me feel really thrilled and I won't be ashamed to admit that you made me shed some tears of joy. When you wrote that Chain Letters changed your life for better and that you now find strength even in the darkest of times, I was like... Wow, did I really do that? What you said it's one of the best accomplishments I could ever get. I'm gonna admit you that in the past I've been hurt and felt alone and it was awful for me; it was hard for me to find the strength to move on; but eventually I got it. Since that time I proposed myself a goal: I was going to try to show people who feel like me in that time, all the things I had to learn by myself; so maybe that way people will feel that they have someone, that other people also felt the same and that it's possible to move on and to believe that life, despite everything, is beautiful. I could never find the way to do it and it frustrated me; so I thought that maybe I could write all the things I learned, to share my thoughts; that is when Chain Letters was written. So that is the reason why your words really moved me. Honestly, thank you for that. And I love your sense of humor, the things you wrote about being like Bellatrix after long night with Voldy and that the pains in your chest were Freckles and Darren's fault. About your first Ps.: I like the line you chose! You really got what I tried to show when I wrote it! And don't worry about having a dirty mind; I have a pretty dirty mind myself! Trust me, I don't know how I didn't write something really dirty yet! I'm surprised! About your Ps.2: I honestly never thought about it! But now that you mention it, it'd be really cool to give them a ship name! And, as you, I also prefer Dreckles because Farren totally reminds me of farts! But thinking about it, it'd be so of Darren to have a ship name that involves farts or shit, let's do not forget about Pigfarts! About your Ps.3: If this was an essay, I don't mind, I loved it! Thank you again for your words. Oh, by the way... MerryCrissmas? I totally love the name you used!

amanecerita83: I loved to read that the chapter brought you back to when you first fell in love and that you felt all that over again! And what you said about that the man you fell in love with is your husband made me smile! Don't ask me why, I found it really sweet! Like, yeah, that is like the proof that true love does exist! Aww, I don't know, it's so cute! I wish that you and your husband can feel always as same as when you fell in love for the very first time, that is one of the best feelings ever! :) And I do agree with you about the typical crapiness of Mondays and I'm glad and amazed that this story can nullify it!

A: Thank you a lot! :) I tried to do my best with that chapter and I'm really satisfied and happy for the reviews! Reading that you liked it as I liked writing it is really amazing! Well, you smiled like a fool while reading it and I smiled like a fool while writing it, so I think it's fair enough! Haha

Guest: Oh geez! Thank you very very much! I'm really amazed to know that you think that the story gets better and better! Sometimes I have these writer's block and I try to keep writing but I'm like... Whoa, I can't do it! So sometimes I think it sucks what I write! But well, as an inexperienced writer, I try to do my best! So thanks for your words, it means a lot! :) hahahaha the line you chose! I needed to write something funny, considering that Darren is a hilarious person and I was making him way too different than he actually is! Of course, I'd never be able to say (in this case write) hilarious things as Darren, but it's something!

Oh man! That was really long! Sorry for that, but I need to thank you all! So now, without further ado, I'll let you read this new chapter. Enjoy and until next Saturday! Lots of love for each one of you!

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**Teenage Dream – Part 20 – You give me something.**

* * *

Next day you woke up with a slight headache and smelling a very amazing scent. You were feeling warmer than normal and you were very comfortable, unlike the last few days. Something has changed, something wasn't as usual, and there was something else, something new. But you were feeling way too comfortable to open your eyes, you were very relaxed and you didn't want to get up yet. And there was something else you were feeling, something as if it was the most wonderful day of your life, everything seemed happier and brighter; suddenly there was nothing wrong, everything was great; there was an odd and extraordinary happiness in your heart. What has changed? Then you felt it; you felt how someone next to you wrapped an arm around your waist and placed the head above your shoulder, nuzzling the nose in your neck. You recognized that soft skin, you recognized that firm hand on your waist, and you recognized that distinctive smell: Darren was right there, sleeping next to you. As a flashback, everything that happened last night popped in your mind. Oh geez, you were sleeping with your... sort of boyfriend? Darren Criss, the guy who could drive you crazy, was there next to you...The same guy admitted you last night that he was in love with you, as you've been with him since years ago. You opened your eyes slowly, just to check if it was like that. Oh dear, this was real. Darren was peacefully sleeping next to you, so very close to you, and with an outstanding and warm smile on his face. How could he be so damn beautiful while sleeping? How come all of this happened? You still were like daydreaming; this was too good to be true, this was so chimerical. You looked at him for a long time before you ran your fingers through his curls; oh, you loved his hair. Anyway, you were feeling weird because now Darren was your best friend, he wasn't anymore that mysterious guy you fell in love with; he was your best friend but you kissed him several times and you still had that need to kiss him; he was your best friend but last night both of you admitted you were in love. That was eerie. And you never had a boyfriend before. How the hell were you supposed to move on after what happened last night? This was uncharted territory for you, you didn't know what you were supposed to do or say, you didn't know how you should greet him after he wakes up... Should you greet him with a simple good morning; with a kiss on his cheek or with a kiss on his lips? Should you mention something about what happened last night or not? Should you be tender and loving or would that be so hasty for now? Should you keep calling him by his name or should you find like a pet name for him? Oh, so many questions and doubts. Oh well, being in love wasn't an easy thing as everybody was used to say; actually, it was more like painful because of the uncertainties and insecurities; but for sure, it was a good feeling. Come on, you wanted to jump and yell of happiness. Okay, you needed to stop overthinking and you needed to focus on enjoying what was happening, this new thing of having sort of a love affair with someone, not someone but with the guy you were in love with. You let him sleep a bit more, and you decided to take a shower; feeling so very positive as never before.

_**"I love you."**_ You whispered before taking that shower, right in front of his lips before you peck them very slightly, so you wouldn't wake him.

At the time you finished taking the shower; Darren was still sleeping, but now hugging the pillow. It was very funny to see that and you had to make a big effort to keep from laughing. Should you wake up him now or not? Oh, but he looked so peaceful and cute that you didn't want to disturb him. Well, maybe you could make breakfast and read something until he wakes up. Yes, that would be the best. When you walked to the kitchen, Jen and Chuck were already there, both of them silent and just staring at nowhere in particular; both of them drinking a coffee. Oh yes, you knew why the climax was like this: the famous hangover. Fortunately, you haven't drunk too much, so you were feeling moderately good; besides, you had a plus that was what happened last night.

_**"Good morning, guys."**_ You greeted cheerfully and kinda amused, looking at them. Neither of them looked up at you.

_**"Morning."**_ Chuck answered hoarsely; completely deadbeat.

_**"Morning, F."**_ Jen greeted also hoarsely; trying to smile, but holding her head and making a painful gesture.

_**"Let me guess... Hangover!"**_ You asked with a playful smile.

_**"No shit Sherlock."**_ Chuck said propping his head on his hands, still hoarsely.

_**"I didn't know what a hangover was until now. Someone please kill me."**_ Jen exclaimed with the same grimace of pain.

_**"Well, I know about something that can make you feel better, maybe."**_ You said shrugging and still amused, seeing how them were looking at you almost imploring for some help. _**"Scrambled eggs, it does work." **_

_**"Oh my god, why are you yelling?"**_ Chuck asked in a whisper with almost the same pain grimace than Jen.

_**"I think if I eat those scrambled eggs, I'm gonna throw up. I can't eat anything at all."**_ Jen said with a grimace of disgust now.

_**"Trust me, if you eat that, you'll feel better."**_ You assured, now looking at them serious.

_**"Since when are you an expert? I thought you've never had a hangover."**_ Chuck asked again in a whisper and you just giggled.

_**"Well, the fact that I've never had a hangover doesn't mean that I don't know how to recover after a long night of alcohol and stuff."**_ You said still chuckling, now shrugging.

_**"I trust you, you're the smart one. Gimme that shit to eat, please."**_ Chuck implored and Jen only nodded energetically in agreement.

You walked to the kitchen counter to start making those scrambled eggs for them, smiling. Why couldn't you stop smiling? It was as if someone was forcing you to smile, only that no one was forcing you, you were smiling naturally.

_**"By the way... Congratulations, Freckles!"**_ Chuck yelled from the table and you turned to look at him curious.

_**"For what?"**_ You asked.

_**"For you and my bro! Man, it was time to get that shit done. You two were like those supposed friends who are all the time flirting, exchanging furtive and intense looks, flattering each other, insinuating that the two were dying to kiss but always with that shit of "hey, I'm scared, hey no, it's not right, we're friends" Friends my ass! I've never seen a guy and a girl wanting so bad to be together. Man, seriously, it was time."**_ Chuck exclaimed raising his eyebrows and Jen, next to him, chuckled softly.

_**"Yeah, really, it was time. Darren was all the freaking time talking about you, telling me he was confused and shit that he didn't want to lose you and whatever. And I was all the time like..."Oh yeah, Darren, you have to think about it" but inside I was thinking... "For god sake, Darren! Go and just kiss her!" And fortunately he did so; it took him a really long time to do so, but finally he did." **_ Jen said also raising eyebrows, nodding slightly and giggling along with Chuck. In the meantime, you were blushing hard. How would they know about Darren and you?

_**"I... I don't know what you're talking about..."**_ You stuttered, trying to focus on the scrambled eggs again. Geez, this was embarrassing.

_**"Yeah, sure!"**_ Chuck exclaimed ironically, laughing out loud. _**"Nothing has happened but I can't stop smiling like a goofy girl in love with my hypothetical best friend."**_ Chuck laughed and Jen burst out laughing.

_**"Oh man! The fuck? You woke me up with your boisterous laughter!" **_Darren finally exclaimed, popping into the kitchen, with his hair all messed and a sleepy face.

Oh gosh, now it was time to see how you'd act with Darren. Oh gosh, oh gosh... Should you kiss him on the lips or should you just kiss him on his cheek? Oh, damn, you were so nervous. Shit, no one ever told you that starting a love affair would be so complicated. But then he looked at you and smiled so warmly in the distance that you melted; oh please, he was gorgeous.

* * *

_**"Oh, I feel so good. Mhm, yeah...Maybe I could move a little closer. Yes, yes, right like this. Oh man, she truly drives me nuts. Mhm, this smell, oh, I love it. Dude, I'm sleeping with her! I wish I could do this more often, I just feel so good... I'm just gonna pretend I'm sleeping, I really don't want to get up."**_ I thought in my mind while I was holding Freckles in my arms, resting my head over her shoulder and nuzzling my nose on her neck, just to feel her skin and smell her fragrance.

Could we just stay like this all day long? I loved to feel her to close to me... No, I also wanted to show her my best, so she would agree to be called my girlfriend soon; I wanted to talk to her, I loved talking to her. But like this... it was pretty awesome too. At one point I felt how she ran her fingers through my curls, oh so good, it was relaxing and stimulating at the same time. And then I heard her voice saying something that made my heart skip a beat.

_**"I love you."**_ She said before pecking my lips. Please, I wanted to kiss her back, but no, I wanted to still pretend I was sleeping to be with her more time like this.

Oh no, what the fuck is she doing? Oh no, no, no, why was she going away? No, Freckles, come back here with me, let's sleep together a little more! But I couldn't really say those things out loud. I glanced at her covertly and I could see she was going to the bathroom; then I heard the sound of the shower. I sat in the bed, feeling a bit sleepy, a bit painful because of the headache and completely happy. What the hell? Oh no shit! What the actual fuck? A boner? Really, man? Yeah, it was the morning and well, it was obvious... But hell, I was sleeping with Freckles and we were so close. Oh man, please, I hope she didn't notice this. So fucking embarrassing, man. Come on, Darren, think about something nasty, think, think. Alright, yeah, catching my bro having sex with someone; yes, it's working... Is that Freckles talking in the shower? Oh, she's right there, taking a shower...How would she look like? What? No, fuck! Darren, what's wrong with you? Oh no, no, now I can't take Freckles out of my mind. Screw everything! No, I need to solve this little business. Alright, Darren, focus on the nasty thing... Yes, definitely that is Freckles talking in the shower. What is she saying? I got up to walk very silently to the door. I rested my ear on the door and I heard her: she wasn't talking, she was singing...

_You want to stay with me in the morning_

_You only hold me when I sleep_

_I was meant to tread the water_

_Now I've gotten in too deep_

_For every piece of me that wants you_

_Another piece backs away_

_'Cause you give me something_

_That makes me scared, alright_

_This could be nothing_

_But I'm willing to give it a try_

_Please give me something_

_'Cause someday I might know my heart_

_You only waited up for hours_

_Just to spend a little time alone with me_

_And I can say I've never bought you flowers_

_I can't work out what they mean_

_I never thought that I'd love someone_

_That was someone else's dream_

_'Cause you give me something_

_That makes me scared, alright_

_This could be nothing_

_But I'm willing to give it a try_

_Please give me something_

_'Cause someday I might call you from my heart_

_But it might be a second too late_

_And the words that I could never say_

_Gonna come out anyway_

_'Cause you give me something_

_That makes me scared, alright_

_This could be nothing_

_But I'm willing to give it a try_

_Please give me something_

_'Cause you give me something_

_That makes me scared, alright_

_This could be nothing_

_But I'm willing to give it a try_

_Please give me something_

_'Cause someday I might know my heart_

_Know my heart, know my heart, know my heart._

She finished singing and then I noticed she already came out from the shower. Oh damn, oh damn, I still have this stupid hard-on. What should I do? What? Yes, I need to come back to bed and pretend I'm sleeping, yes. I ran to the bed and I covered all my body with the quilt, hugging the pillow, just to cover the hard-on. Not many seconds later, she came out of the bathroom. Phew! It was so close. I could feel she was still in the bedroom... Oh please, she needed to go so I could solve this problem; but at the same time I really wanted to lie down in bed with her again. So then I heard how she left the bedroom. Well, I was alone now, so I opened my eyes again. What was song about? Did she really mean that song? Was she referring at us? Well, if it was like that, I couldn't notice if it was a good or bad thing; most likely like a good thing, but I was going to have to try harder to prove her that I was willing to give her everything and not just something. How could I make her feel that? Oh well, well, is that Chuck telling Freckles something about us? What? Jen? Why are you telling Freckles my secrets? Well, it wasn't a secret anymore, but still... Is that so, Jen? All this time telling me that I should think and you never told me what you really thought? Oh good to know, you sneaky devil! Wait a minute... How on earth did they know about me and Freckles? I didn't tell them anything at all; how would they know that I finally talked to Freckles about my feelings? Oh yeah, right! They have been spying us! Boy, that was so inappropriate! Poor Freckles, how would she be feeling now? She didn't want to tell anybody about us yet. I needed to save her from that uncomfortable situation for her; so I just got up and walked to the kitchen.

_**"Oh man! The fuck? You woke me up with your boisterous laughter!"**_ I exclaimed while I popped into the kitchen, pretending to be still sleepy.

Chuck and Jen shuddered when I talked, because obviously, they weren't expecting me to be there and because they knew they were talking stuff they shouldn't. It was kind of funny to see them like that, but then my gaze, inevitably, drifted to Freckles. I couldn't avoid smiling widely and warmly when I saw her. Geez, that girl over there was my girl now; I was such a lucky guy. I forgot that Chuck and Jen were there and I just walked to Freckles, who seemed to be nervous, probably by the things they were saying. She was so focused cooking something. I stood behind her and I wrapped my arms around her, by her back. I rested my chin on her shoulder and I tried to look into her eyes. Man, she was really nervous.

_**"Good morning, baby."**_ I whispered in her ear and smiled brightly at her before I leaned to peck her lips.

She smiled slightly in front of my lips but I knew she was still nervous, because she looked behind me to check if Jen and Chuck were looking at us. I needed to make her feel more comfortable.

_**"You didn't wake me up."**_ I said pouting, still resting my chin on her shoulder and wrapping my arms around her while she smiled sweetly at me.

_**"Yes, I'm sorry... It's just that you seemed so peaceful sleeping that I didn't want to bug you."**_ She replied cutely and geez, I just died of sweetness.

_**"Oh, baby, you'll never bug me."**_ I whispered, hugging her tightly and kissing her cheek this time because I didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable again.

_**"Alright, I'll keep it in mind next time."**_ She said smiling widely and placing her hands above mine. Man, this was odd but so great. _**"Do you want something for breakfast? I'm making some scrambled eggs for Chuck and Jen, do you want some? Or do you prefer something else? Maybe a coffee?"**_ She asked slurring her words and I giggled softly.

_**"A coffee is fine for me."**_ I said before I kissed her forehead. Gosh, I couldn't stop kissing her. _**"Do you want me to help you? I don't know how to do this kind of stuff, but you can teach me. I don't want you to make it all alone."**_

_**"No, it's fine, really. Go and sit, I'll bring you a coffee in a few minutes."**_ She answered softly, smiling slightly. Oh wow, I've never seen her smiling so much like this; that was good.

_**"But I don't want to let you doing it alone, let me help you."**_ I insisted, looking into her eyes deeply.

_**"Dare, really. You don't have to help me, is fine, and it's only a coffee and scrambled eggs, not big deal."**_ She said shrugging and making those scrambled eggs again.

_**"Come on, teach me. I want to spoil you today, let me do that, please?"**_ I asked now looking at her with my famous puppy dog eyes; yeah, that could work maybe.

_**"You know?"**_ She asked frowning after she looked at me for a while and I shrugged playing fool, a bit amused. _**"I do hate that look of you."**_ She huffed and I couldn't help it but laughing out loud. _**"Fine, I'll teach you, but next time I tell you that I don't need any help, do not look me that way, deal?"**_

_**"Deal!"**_ I exclaimed excited and I stood next to her now.

I leaned to kiss her lips quickly and slightly. This time, she only smiled and shook her head chuckling and that was a good sign. I was so ready to start this day spoiling her, spoiling my girlfriend; because yes, she was my girlfriend despite she didn't want to be called like that in public yet. Man, I had a freaking girlfriend and it was Freckles! Whoa, so crazy! I grabbed a spoon and the bowl where the eggs were and I stared at it. What the hell should I do now? I can't believe I didn't know anything at all about cooking; I'd never be able to surprise her with a breakfast, a lunch or a dinner. Shame on me. Well, maybe I could buy one of those stupid books of cooking someday so that I could cook for her something sometime, I'd like that; but ugh, I really hated cooking, it just had no sense to me. Freckles surely noticed my face of "What the hell is this?" because she was chuckling next to me; I saw her and I chuckled along with her, her laughter was very catchy. She guided me how to do it and, slowly and like a fool doing disasters, I got the way I had to do that. Hey, it wasn't so hard.

_**"Darren, seriously? Are you cooking?"**_ Chuck suddenly asked in disbelief behind me. Oh yeah, I knew him so well, now he was going to make fun of me; duh, he never saw me grabbing a spoon to cook.

_**"Oh no, now we all are gonna die intoxicated."**_ Jen exclaimed a bit serious and a bit amused. Oh great, Jen was going to make fun of me too.

_**"Don't worry guys, I'll check if he's doing it right, I wouldn't want you to die because of this." **_Freckles suddenly said laughing softly.

_**"What? Are you also gonna make fun of me, Freckles? Unbelievable!"**_ I exclaimed loudly in disbelief.

_**"Really, Darren, this is so unreal, bro. You've never ever grabbed a damn spoon and now that your girlfriend or whatever is cooking, you are suddenly interested on cooking? Bro, she has you so fucking pussy whipped."**_ Chuck laughed out loud and Jen laughed along with him. Freckles, next to me, smiled amused on the sly. Oh, what? _**"Hey, Freckles, you know? Darren is doing a big effort, trust me. I think you should thank him in a very cool way."**_

_**"Yes, maybe I'd give him a plus on this breakfast."**_ She replied amused and raising an eyebrow. I looked at her frowning; I don't know why it sounded so sexy.

_**"Come on, Freckles, just kiss him; we know you want to do so and Darren is like drooling when he stares at your lips."**_ Jen pressed insistently and both, Freckles and I, looked at her with eyes wide open, bewildered. Was that Jen?

_**"Jen!"**_ I exclaimed loudly, still bewildered.

_**"What, Darren?"**_ Jen shrugged and frowned. _**"Please, as if it wasn't obvious." **_Jen excused herself when I looked at her serious.

_**"Jen is right, bro. Just kiss, goddammit."**_ Chuck insisted exasperated. _**"You've been making out all night long yesterday, what's the difference now?"**_

_**"How... How do you know that, huh?"**_ I asked frowning, really curiously and suspiciously.

_**"Oh, we didn't know it yet, we only suspected that and you just confirmed it."**_ Jen said chuckling amused and shrugging, and then she looked at Chuck. _**"You're a genius, Chuck. High five!"**_ Jen laughed and Chuck laughed along with her.

I looked at them a bit furious and a bit ashamed of myself, dammit; I fell into their trap like a real idiot. I looked at Freckles bewildered trying to apologize or something, but she was looking at me amused and she shrugged. Then she leaned and kissed me, she kissed me in front of Jen and Chuck, and this time it wasn't a part of a game. Oh wow, that was so very good. I kissed her back of course, smiling during the kiss. I slowly deepened the kiss, placing my hands on her jaw, caressing her cheeks with my thumbs and, after a while, we broke the kiss slowly. I looked into her eyes very brightly and she was looking at me the same way, smiling widely. This was too good to be true but it was true and that... that was totally awesome.

_**"That's what we're talking about!" **_Chuck exclaimed loudly and cheerfully. _**"This is a good reason to celebrate, man! Jen, we got it! We got it!" **_

_**"Yay! I can't believe it worked! Finally!"**_ Jen exclaimed just as excited as Chuck. Freckles laughed amused but I looked at them suspiciously again.

_**"Excuse me? It worked what? You got what?"**_ I asked in suspicion; I knew there was something they weren't saying, I knew both of them very well.

_**"Well, Chuck and I had a plan, duh."**_ Jen replied amused, shrugging.

_**"A plan? Really?"**_ I asked raising an eyebrow and Freckles now looked at them curious and frowning, but still smiling slightly.

_**"Listen, we knew you wouldn't do anything at all, neither of you. You were like taking baby steps and it was ridiculous seeing from the outside how the two of you wanted to be together but neither of you dared to take the first step. And I said..."**_ Chuck started explaining and looked at Jen amused, who giggled softly.

_**"Jen, we have to do something."**_ Jen said imitating Chuck's voice and the two of them laughed. _**"And I agreed. Of course, first we made sure that you two wanted to be together, despite it was obvious. So yeah, we planned to try to encourage you, to pair you."**_ Jen shrugged quietly. _**"We couldn't stay idly. Seriously, it was almost exasperating to see you suffering because you were thinking that the other didn't want to be with the other one while the real fact was the opposite."**_

_**"Yeah, man. I've never seen something like this, like... What the fuck are you doing man? Just go for her, damn!" **_Chuck exclaimed exaggeratedly.

_**"Yes, or like... What the hell are you doing, girl? Just screw everything and go for the guy!"**_ Jen exclaimed just as exaggeratedly as Chuck. _**"So...our plan..."**_ Jen started saying while looking at Chuck.

_**"Yeah, our plan... We planned to go to the beach last night; we planned to play a game like spin the bottle..."**_ Chuck said quietly.

_**"Exactly, and when Freckles said she never played the spin the bottle game, things were even easier."**_ Jen said nodding.

_**"Damn right! We, somehow, needed to make the bottle point to the two of you."**_ Chuck said.

_**"So then, when you, Darren, spun the bottle; well, it pointed between me and Freckles and I, surreptitiously, moved away, so then it seemed that the bottle was pointing only at Freckles."**_ Jen said smiling mischievously.

_**"Yeah... that was awesome, man. Well done, Jenny!"**_ Chuck congratulated Jen and she smiled proudly. _**"What we haven't planned was the sister thing. We didn't know about her and it really annoyed us when she tried to stop you while kissing. However, things got a bit harder after the kiss, when Freckles sang that song and then she and her sister went away. We thought it was everything fucked up." **_

_**"Right, right. And then you stood up, because you wanted to walk or whatever. I know you, Criss; and your brother also knows you way too much. We knew that you were going to go for Freckles."**_ Jen said smiling with her usual 'Ha! I caught you!' smile.

_**"So we thought that the best was going to be to leave you alone, with hopes that you were going to talk. And when I got your text message that you were coming back home..."**_ Chuck said smiling mischievously as Jen.

_**"We knew that you were going to go home to be with Freckles. And we thought... This is gonna be the night, it has to be the night."**_ Jen said raising an eyebrow and Chuck nodded amused. _**"And, no sooner said than done, it was the night."**_

_**"Yeah, man. Of course when we arrived home we went to your bedroom; and when we didn't see you there..."**_ Chuck said looking at me and then at Jen.

_**"We said... Freckles' room! And it was like that. We opened the door very silently so that you wouldn't hear us; and the two of you were there. But you were already sleeping; so we didn't know yet if something has happened or not." **_Jen said.

_**"And when Freckles woke up this morning, we saw a huge smile on her face, and Jen and I exchanged a look. Something must have happened, so we started asking her some questions... But she was like on the defensive all the time." **_Chuck said looking at Freckles amused and I looked at her, who was looking at my bro with a weird face. _**"Hey, don't look at me that way! You can't deny you were on the defensive, it was like that." **_

_**"Yeah, it was like that indeed."**_ Jen giggled amused. _**"So, when you, Darren, woke up... Well, we knew you were like easier prey... We knew that sooner or later you were going to speak; you always do, you're an expert in screwing up and talking too much."**_ Jen and Chuck laughed out loud and I frowned pretending to be offended, but she was right.

_**"So... That's why we're saying that we got it."**_ Chuck shrugged, smiling mischievously. _**"Hope you don't get mad, guys."**_

_**"I can't believe this shit... I just... Oh my god."**_ I exclaimed, still bewildered. Chuck and Jen laughed out loud, even Freckles chuckled softly. I looked at her in disbelief. _**"Are you really laughing?"**_

_**"What? It's kind of funny."**_ Freckles replied shrugging and laughing more loudly this time. I smiled amused this time, knowing that this was funny for her and not something uncomfortable. _**"We're babies, Darren." **_She laughed.

_**"Damn yeah, we are."**_ I laughed this time.

I grabbed Freckles by her waist to pull her closer and pull her into a kiss. She let me doing so; it was as if now she didn't mind to show our thing in public, at least not in front of Jen and my brother. Yeah, great way to start the morning. We spent a good breakfast all together and then, Jen and Chuck went to the living room to watch a movie. Freckles was about to join them but I stopped her.

_**"Wait, what if we skip the movie?"**_ I asked looking at her kind of seductively. Yep, it felt great to be able to look at her seductively without thinking it was wrong.

_**"What's on your mind?"**_ She asked raising an eyebrow and smiling amused.

_**"Nothing, actually. I want to spend more time alone with you."**_ I answered placing my hands on her hips, resting my forehead on hers and smiling in front of her lips._** "Besides, I want to show you something, remember?" **_

_**"Yes, I do remember."**_ She smiled back at me, placing her hands on my chest. I thought that I'd never stop having tingles whenever she touched me. As a reaction, I kissed her lips; not swiftly, but neither fiercely.

_**"Come with me, then. It's upstairs, in my bedroom."**_ I said hoarsely when we broke the kiss.

_**"In your bedroom?" **_She asked raising an eyebrow. Oh man, maybe it sounded wrong.

_**"Yes, yes, in my bedroom. But don't worry, I swear I have no bad intentions; it's something harmless." **_I said looking into her eyes, trying to change the way it sounded before.

_**"Well, I don't know what you think I thought..."**_ She said smiling amused.

_**"Uhm... Nothing at all."**_ I answered awkwardly; maybe I was the only one who had this kind of kinky mind. _**"Just... Let's go, okay?"**_

_**"Okay." **_She answered chuckling and I shook my head, also giggling.

I held her hand, intertwining my fingers with hers, to go straight to my bedroom upstairs. Fortunately, this time my bedroom wasn't a big mess like before, otherwise it would have been very uncomfortable. When we entered my room, Freckles looked all over around, like in the first time; but this time she had an amused smile and she wasn't wet.

_**"Seems that someone has been cleaning the room."**_ She giggled softly and I looked at her amused.

_**"Hey, the first time, you came here in a very inopportune time. Normally my room is clean and tidy; I don't know what happened when you came here, surely it was my dragon Ted the one who messed up this room."**_ I lied laughing, making it obvious that I was being sarcastic.

_**"Yeah, sure... Poor Ted, blaming him when he isn't around."**_ She giggled amused, shaking her head. Oh my God, I loved her; I loved when she was this funny, playing along to me.

_**"Actually, Ted is invisible and he's right now whispering me to say this and blame him, to make me look good."**_ I smiled amused, looking at her intensely.

_**"Oh, is Ted here? Hi Ted! What's up, buddy?"**_ Freckles said, waving her hand at some point and I couldn't help it but laughing out loud. Geez, she was awesome.

_**"Mhm, you're adorable." **_I whispered smiling sweetly at her, while placing my hands on her jaw to pull her into a deep kiss. _**"Sorry, Ted told me to kiss you, you know?"**_

_**"Oh, so that Ted is a sneaky dragon. Well played, Ted."**_ She said amused, winking at the same point where she waved her hand.

_**"Yeah, he likes you. He's telling me right now that you're the prettiest girl he saw around here; that I'm the luckiest guy to have you with me." **_I said smiling fondly and looking at her deeply.

_**"Really?"**_ She asked, smiling amused, raising an eyebrow and swaying._** "And what else is he telling you, huh?" **_

_**"Well, he's telling me that he's happy that you're my...girlfriend now. He's telling me that if I let you go, I'll be a total jerk, because you're the best I have. You know, he can feel what I feel, it's like we're connected or something, so he's telling me that you're the one for me, because he never felt such love in my heart for someone." **_I said almost in a whisper, looking at her vividly while she was looking at me with bright eyes and smiling yearningly.

_**"Well, tell Ted that I feel the same way."**_ She smiled and caressed my cheek very softly, while she stood on tiptoe to peck my lips.

_**"Will do."**_ I replied after the kiss, while I wrapped my arms around her. _**"And... Ted is telling me that I should show you the surprise." **_

_**"Oh, I'm excited to know what that is about." **_She said smiling vividly, swaying again. How cute, man!

_**"Alright, alright. Mhm..." **_I said excited and I pecked her lips several times while smiling. Then I held her hand and I led her to my bed. _**"Sit over here and...Wait for me, just a second."**_ I said turning around to walk right where my guitar was. _**"Do not move!"**_ I yelled while I was giving her my back, and I heard how she laughed.

_**"I won't, I won't!"**_ She exclaimed still laughing. Wow, she was laughing a lot lately and it was so amazing.

Then I grabbed my guitar and I turned around to walk to where she was, smiling widely when I saw her huge smile. I kneeled next to her on the floor and then I sat cross-legged, starting to play my guitar, just to tune it. After I got it, I looked up at her and she was looking at me very intently.

_**"Well... After we talked yesterday and after you told me you weren't ready to be called my girlfriend in public yet because you didn't know how to be someone's girlfriend... I honestly didn't know how to say all I was feeling, all I wanted to tell you. Words simply couldn't come out from my mouth; I couldn't find the proper words."**_ I said quietly looking at her while she was still looking at me very intently. _**"So, I remember what I told you once: when words aren't enough, there is music, because music can express what words can't. So yeah, this song is for you, baby."**_ I said looking deeply into her eyes before I looked at my guitar to start playing the song. I was relaxed, she could make me feel comfortable and I really liked to sing to her.

_Take a little time to hold yourself_

_Take a little time to feel around_

_Before it's gone_

_You won't let go_

_But you still keep on falling down_

_Remember how you saved me now_

_From all of my wrongs, yeah_

I looked at her and I smiled faintly, just to let her know that I really meant what I was singing. Yeah, she kinda saved me, she made me trust on someone so much as I couldn't lately, she made me feel love again and she taught me how to be strong and smile even if everything was a real shit. With her I truly learned how bad is to judge and discriminate someone just by the way the person looks; with her I learned that you don't have to judge a book by its cover, because appearances are deceiving. And, even though she taught me a lot of things, she was still thinking that she did nothing, that she was still nobody. Then I looked even more intensely into her eyes, what I was about to sing to her now was what I truly wanted to let her know, knowing that she was still afraid to feel love.

_And if there's love, just feel it_

_And if there's life, we'll see it_

_This is no time to be alone, alone, yeah_

_I won't let you go, oh, no_

_Say those words_

_Say those words like there's nothing else_

_Close your eyes and you might believe_

_That there is some way out, yeah_

_Open up_

_Open up your heart to me now_

_Let it all come pouring out_

_There's nothing I can't take._

I sang, looking deeply into her eyes and my voice cracked because of the thrill. I really wished she could open her heart to me, that she could let all come pouring out; I really wished she could really know that I was going to be with her no matter what and what I felt for her was real, that I wouldn't let her go, even if she was still unsure to be my girlfriend. I honestly didn't care the label of a couple, what I really cared about was to be with her, sharing everything together.

_And if there's love, just feel it_

_And if there's life, we'll see it_

_This is no time to be alone, alone, yeah_

_I won't let you go, oh, no_

_If your sky is falling_

_Just take my hand and hold it_

_You don't have to be alone, alone, yeah_

_I won't let you go_

_And if you feel the fading of the light_

_And you're too weak to carry on the fight_

_And all your friends that you count on have disappeared_

_I'll be here night going, forever holding on, oh_

I kept singing, this time looking at her kinda sadly because I remembered how her only friends, Peter and Alexandra, betrayed her, leaving her alone at that time; remembering all the horrible things they told her and all the terrible things they have done to her. I remembered exactly how she felt the first time that Alexandra and Peter told her that they didn't want to be near her anymore, that day when Freckles and I weren't friends yet; I remembered exactly how she felt when she found out that Peter was part of the game of W which goal was to make her feel alone and bad, really bad. Whoa, I never noticed really how hard this surely was for her… But I was there, to let her know that I wouldn't leave her alone.

_And if there's love, just feel it_

_And if there's life, we'll see it_

_This is no time to be alone, alone, yeah_

_I won't let you go, oh, no_

_If your sky is falling_

_Just take my hand and hold it_

_And you don't have to be alone, alone, yeah_

_I won't let you go, no, no, yeah_

_I won't let you go, no, I won't let_

_I won't let you go, no, I won't let_

_I won't let you go, no_

_Won't let you go_.

I finished singing almost in a whisper, looking at my guitar. When I looked up to her, she was shedding some tears in silence, but those weren't tears of weakness or sadness, it was more like tears of joy. She was looking at me with the sweetest face and before I could do or say something, she pounced on me to give me a tight hug. There was a space between us, so I could put my guitar aside and when I did so, she kinda sat on my lap, shortening the distance between us. I hugged her back just as tightly, while she buried her face on my shoulder. We really didn't need to say something at all, everything was already said with the song, our looks and that hug. I could feel what she was trying to say me and I checked it when she tried to speak with teary voice.

_**"Thank you."**_ She whispered in my ear and then she broke the hug only to look into my eyes, but she was still sitting on my lap.

_**"You don't have..."**_ I started saying while I place my hands firmly on her waist, to hold her.

_**"No, wait... I want to tell you something."**_ She interrupted me, but not in a harsh way, she was gentle and kind. I looked at her curious because she almost never interrupted me, so this maybe was very important to her. _**"I love you."**_ She whispered and her eyes twinkled. Wow, she said it so beautifully fond that my heart skipped a beat. I was about to answer her, but she kept talking. _**"I never could tell you this, because you know I'm not good at talking, you know it's hard to me to believe that someone really cares about what I say and because I'm not self-confident, so I'm always thinking that whatever I say is useless and awkward. But you make me feel the opposite, somehow. And this song? It meant a lot to me; you made me feel weird, you really made me feel loved; because, you know, there isn't so many people who would be willing to wait for me, to understand me, to tell me that they won't let me go despite my insecurities and my lack of expressing what I feel. But you do; and it's an odd feeling because no one has done something like that for me without expecting something in return; only you."**_ She said while her voice cracked and her eyes filled with tears. Even my eyes filled with tears just by hearing what she was saying and the way she was looking at me. I never knew that being in love could make me feel this sentimental; but whatever, this was the best feeling I've ever had. _**"And I never could tell you how thankful I am for all you do for me. Sometimes I wonder why it is so hard to me to tell you a simple thanks and I think of all the times I wanted to thank you and I simply couldn't, because, I don't know, I felt very shy. So now I'm telling you that I really appreciate all you've done since the first time we met: the first time we talked, when you gave me that cotton for my nose, when we were just strangers, that was the first nice gesture that someone showed me; when I had that crappy day when Peter and Alexandra brought me down and you and Jen were the only ones to talk to me even when I was still that geek girl for you, I really appreciate that; all the times we spent together in Marin Headlands, when we shared a lot of things, things I've never told anyone, gosh, we shared a lot of things. When you tried to help me when you found out about W; you helped me even though you knew that W was going to mess with you after this, you helped me and no one has helped me before and that... that was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me. When I lost my memory and I treated you like crap, but you were still there, to be right next to me whenever I needed you; you forgave all my mistakes and that is too much, you have no idea how much I appreciate that."**_ She said with choked voice now shedding the tears and looking at me fixedly. Oh man, I wanted to hug her, I wanted to reassure her, to comfort her, I didn't like to see her shedding tears; I just wanted to see her smile. _**"But the main reason I want to thank you is for being always there for me, for never giving up on me, for all the times you take time to listen to me and to be with me; for being this caring person, for being this person who always is trying to understand my craziness, my insecurities and my childish behavior and sometimes even whimsical. I want to thank you for all that and also for being my best friend and my love."**_ She said still shedding tears but looking at me in a very affectionate way, smiling fondly. Oh yeah, I was definitely madly in love with her. _**"And I won't deny it, I'm still afraid for this entire new thing we have now, but at the same time, I'm sure of saying that I've never felt better. I feel so awkward by saying this... but... I've been in love with you since a long time ago and I always hid it; so just knowing now that this feeling is mutual, it's just...crazy. So I came up with the conclusion that maybe I'm not afraid of being together, I'm afraid to realize someday that maybe this is just something imaginary, because what is happening right now between us, for me, is just too good to be true."**_

She finished talking with the same choked voice and I really couldn't answer her because I was really moved by what she said. It was as if she, little by little, was opening her heart to pour out her feelings and thoughts; and, like the song, she was letting me see her true colors. I completely understood that something like this was hard for her, but she was trying it for me, and that was the mean reason that made me feel moved. Besides, she told me the real reason why she was scared; all this time I thought it was because maybe she was thinking I wasn't good enough for her, but it was the opposite. Whoa, I was totally fascinated of the girl sitting on my lap, looking at me with her bright eyes. I placed firmly but softly my hands on her waist and I rested my forehead against her, smiling fondly at her.

_**"This is only proving that good things can happen because, you know, this is true."**_ I whispered and then I kissed her forehead softly. I looked at her deeply into her eyes and I placed both of my hands on her cheeks. _**"I think that everything in our minds is a big mess because we really don't know what to say or do, but despite everything we know that this is what we want, just being like this; and we really don't need anything else. So, summing up, I do think that we're just two scared and silly guys trying to find out how it's like to be in love."**_

_**"Maybe, but here I have a disadvantage. At least you know how it feels to be in love, because you felt it before. Instead, this is something completely new for me, this is the first time I feel this unlike you."**_ She whispered looking at me with those big and scary eyes.

_**"Oh no, trust me, this is the first time I feel something like this, it's weird. I know what you meant, though, but I can tell you that I never got to love Jen or Karen like this. Yeah, I felt something for them in that time, but now I know that I wasn't in love with them... Because if so... Then, how would I call this I feel for you now?"**_ I said affectionately, caressing her cheeks with my thumbs. _**"Trust me, Freckles, when I say that the love I feel for you is hard to express with words, it's something very deep and intense that I'm feeling for the very first time, so I guess this must be to be in love. So this is new for the two of us and I'm very happy that it's like that, I'm happy that it's with you with whom I'm gonna find out how it's like to be the boyfriend of the person I'm in love with. So... wouldn't you like to find it out too now that you know this is true?"**_ I asked looking into her eyes and she looked down, apparently thoughtful; but then she looked up at me again.

_**"Yes, I guess I would like it."**_ She said shyly and shrugging, but with a cute smile. I smiled widely and then I leaned to kiss her lips very kindly.

_**"Yeah, definitely I like this."**_ I whispered chuckling softly in front of her lips.

* * *

_**"Darren! Slow down, I'm serious!"**_ You yelled scared._** "Ahhhhhhh! I'm gonna crash! Darren, I'm gonna crash!"**_

Then you felt it, you felt your head hitting the sidewalk, now you were lying on the sidewalk tangled in the bike, feeling pain in your entire body. You heard how another bike stopped beside you.

_**"Oh my fucking God! What the hell have you done?"**_ You heard Darren's worried voice.

It was the same Sunday afternoon and Darren proposed you to go out to enjoy the sunny day, so he convinced you to go for a bike ride. You liked to ride a bike, but you liked to ride your bike, not someone else's bike; not because you were capricious, but because your bike was like special, considering you were short. Darren lend you Chuck's bike and the saddle was high, even though Darren tried to shorten the seatpost as much as it was possible. So it was really hard for you to ride that bike because your feet barely could reach the pedals and your arms barely could reach the handlebar. Plus, the place where you were cycling was very steep and Darren, apparently, liked cycling at high speed and you couldn't reach him; you were scared and you really didn't feel safe with that bike. So yeah, all of those factors contributed to the fact that you crashed into the sidewalk.

_**"Baby, are you okay?"**_ Darren asked concerned, helping you to move away the bike which was on top of you.

_**"Yes, yes, I'm fine."**_ You answered with trembling voice because of the fear of having crashed into the sidewalk. But really, you were fine, it was nothing.

_**"Oh, you've torn your jeans. You have a scrape on your knee and on your elbow, does it hurt? Do you want to come back?"**_ Darren asked, blowing on the wound to try to ease the pain.

_**"No, it's nothing, it doesn't hurt."**_ You said shivering while he was blowing on the wound, it was making it worse, so you tried to stop him._** "I told you I was too short and too clumsy to ride this bike."**_ Now you said giggling softly and he looked up to you, also giggling softly.

_**"Yeah, I guess I should listen to you more often. I shouldn't have led you to this place; it's only for experts like me."**_ He said making fun of you when he was sure you were fine.

_**"Oh my god! I can't believe it, Criss! You know? I'm better than you when is about riding bikes, you just give me my bike and I'll beat you."**_ You said challenging and amused.

_**"I'm sorry baby, but no one can beat me. I'm a crack on this." **_He answered playfully, with a cocky and amused smile on his face.

_**"You'll be surprised in how many things I can beat you. You had an advantage on this competition, so it's not fair."**_ You said pouting amused and you saw how his eyes brightened, with his sassy smile.

_**"Yeah? I wonder in what else you are good at."**_ He said looking at you mischievously and seductively, raising an eyebrow and with the same sassy smile. Oh well, well, he wanted to play this game? You were going to play it as well.

_**"You have no idea, Criss."**_ You answered in a seductive whisper in front of his lips.

It was funny to play to be sexy, even though you were maybe the less sexy person on earth; but with him, somehow, you weren't ashamed to pretend you were sexy and seductive. Of course his gaze shifted straight to your lips and now he was looking at you dumbfounded and his lips were parted. Well, that was good start. Then you wondered how far you could go with this game, it'd be interesting to find it out.

_**"Show me."**_ He said hoarsely after a while, still looking at your lips.

_**"Are you sure? You're gonna play a dangerous game, darling."**_ You whispered seductively in front of his lips again, brushing his lips very slightly. Oh wow, this wasn't you, but it was fun.

_**"I'm willing to take the risk."**_ He replied hoarsely again, now looking at you intensely and mischievously.

_**"Alright, then don't tell me I didn't warn you."**_ You whispered in front of his lips and you bit them slightly before you parted to look at him. Yeah, that was working, he was looking goofily at your lips and he was agape. He tried to lean and kiss you, but you moved away slightly with a mischievous smile. _**"Oh no, Criss... This is my game."**_

_**"Oh damn."**_ He moaned, trying to lean again to kiss you, but you placed your hand on his chest to keep distance between him and you.

As you've never done before, you took the first step, you were going to lead this; it was crazy, but you were feeling as if you could do this. It was weird, with him you felt more self-confident. So you leaned to kiss his jaw, from his chin to his earlobe, very slowly. He did nothing to stop you, you glanced at him and you could see that he had his eyes closed now. You smiled to yourself when you saw this; maybe you were doing it right. Thanks god you watched a lot of romantic movies, so you could have an idea. Maybe you could go a little further, after all, there was no one around; it seemed to be a desert neighborhood. So you sat on his lap, placing your left leg on his right side and your right leg on his left side; placing your hands underneath his shirt. You looked at him intensely into his eyes, with a seductive smile and he looked back at you, dumbfounded and fiercely. You leaned and you started sucking his earlobe very softly, seeing how he closed his eyes and how he, automatically, placed his hands on your hips. He moaned softly when you nibbled softly his earlobe and you smiled amused. So then you started kissing his neck and then it was when he moaned a bit louder; thrusting his hip up, instinctively. You dared to go a little further, so you licked his neck while you rubbed your hands on his chest, underneath his shirt and he groaned again, pulling you closer to him, now placing his hands on your lower back, underneath your shirt. Geez, this definitely wasn't you, but at the same time, you were enjoying this, this didn't seem to be wrong, not with him. So you started sucking his neck on a particular spot, now running a finger from his chest to his belly button, and he shivered and thrust his hip up again, this time more abruptly, groaning louder. You felt something weird when he thrust his hip against you, something new... Oh geez, was he...? You glanced down his crotch on the sly. Yes, he was. You felt a little shy but at the same time you were feeling adrenaline and a weird tingly. It was like the same adrenaline rush you get from a roller coaster, as if you were climbing a steep incline anticipating the moment you get to the peak, and then... Boom! Craziness charging down. From that moment, you acted for instinct, carrying away: You placed your hands in his V made by his chiseled lower abs and hip flexors, now sucking his neck even harder, almost passionately while he moaned loudly. But then he placed both of his hands on your shoulders, moving you away softly. You looked at him frowning and confused and he was looking at you with his lips parted and with a look of pleasure.

_**"Please, stop it."**_ Darren said hoarsely and weakly.

You suddenly felt very shy and embarrassed. He had to stop you because you were crossing the line. Oh god, it was so embarrassing to be stopped by a man; you acted like a floozy. Usually, judging by the movies, it was always the woman the one to stop the man, and this was the opposite. What have you done? You started blushing and you quickly sat away from him. You even had to look away because of the shame. He surely was thinking you were a floozy, and it wasn't like that; you just didn't know what happened to you in that moment.

_**"I'm sorry."**_ You whispered shyly, still looking away.

_**"Why?"**_ Darren suddenly asked but you didn't look at him.

_**"Because... you know. I shouldn't have done it, I know it was inappropriate and you... I'm not a floozy, I swear, I didn't want... Oh shit."**_ You exclaimed even more embarrassed, blushing harder.

_**"What are you talking about?"**_ Darren asked again, and over again, you didn't look at him.

_**"You didn't want to... you know, I don't know what happened to me... I'm sorry, I didn't want to push you into something you didn't want and you didn't like... you had to stop me... and, geez, I'm sorry, this is so embarrassing." **_You whispered, wanting to disappear. You were still looking away and then you felt how Darren's arms wrapped around you.

_**"Hey, no. If I stopped you, it was because I loved what you were doing way too much and I was carrying away. And well, you know, in guys is more evident... and well, I was really getting aroused and it was going to be really awkward if we kept going on and on. I... I don't know if you know what I mean... That thing guys get... Whoa! This is awkward to explain."**_ Darren tried to explain, apparently feeling just as embarrassed as you. You finally looked up to him, to find an ashamed Darren looking at you, also blushing and you started chuckling softly. _**"Why are you laughing?"**_ He suddenly asked curious and a bit amused now.

_**"Nothing, it's just funny to see you embarrassed. I only saw you really ashamed twice: this time and the first day I went to your bedroom and I saw those condoms..." **_You said giggling louder this time and he looked down, shaking his head, and also giggling.

_**"Oh man, I must be the most awkward person on earth." **_He said still laughing.

_**"Well, maybe that's why we get along. We both are really awkward."**_ You joked and he looked at you with bright eyes.

_**"Yeah, I second that."**_ He said amused and then he leaned to kiss your lips very sweetly.

_**"Darren?" **_Suddenly a woman's voice asked in the distance, when you were still kissing. You and he broke the kiss to look at the direction where the voice came. You recognized the girl, you saw her a few times; she was one of Darren's friends with another girl of school.

_**"Karen? Hi, what are you doing here?"**_ Darren greeted kind of confused and apparently not so happy to have seen her.

_**"Nothing, I was just going for a walk with Susan. She lives nearby here."**_ Karen answered in the distance. Why didn't they greet with a hug or a kiss or something, as they were used to do? That was weird. Anyway, no one greeted you, so you stayed silent.

_**"Yeah, right. Hi, Susan."**_ Darren greeted politely from where he was.

_**"Hi, Darren."**_ Susan answered just as politely.

Again, no one greeted you; it was as if you were invisible to them. And there was an uncomfortable silence. Something was happening here, this was way too odd; Darren never was like this and less with one of his friends. Darren was now looking away and you noticed how Karen looked at you yet she didn't greet you, even though she knew you; oh well, maybe she was ashamed of being near you as everybody in school.

_**"And you? What were you doing?"**_ Karen asked after a while, now looking at Darren again.

_**"Nothing, just enjoying the afternoon. We decided to go for a bike ride and right now we were taking a break. Right, baby?" **_Darren asked and you that were looking down now looked at him astonished; not only because he mentioned you in the conversation all of a sudden but also because he called you baby in front of other people. It sounded weird.

_**"Yes."**_ You answered shyly, looking down again and blushing; knowing that everybody was looking at you. Yet, over again, no one greeted you.

_**"Baby?"**_ Karen laughed kind of ironically and you blushed even harder, feeling uncomfortable.

_**"Yes, baby."**_ Darren assured firmly and coldly, holding your hand. _**"Let's go somewhere else, baby. I still need to show you that place."**_ Darren said and you knew he was looking at you, but you were feeling way too uncomfortable to look at him.

He noticed that, so he stood up and he helped you to stand up next to him, then he grabbed his bike and Chuck's bike for you; everything in silence, while you were still looking down. You grabbed Chuck's bike and then, finally, you looked up to him very shyly while he smiled kindly at you. He sat on his bike in silence and when he was about to start riding it, Karen talked.

_**"Wait, Darren."**_ She said quickly and Darren looked at her, apparently moody. _**"I thought that maybe we could talk." **_

_**"Yeah, sure. Tell me."**_ He said curtly right from where he was, with no intentions to go to where she was.

_**"Susan, could you give me a minute?" **_Karen asked and Susan nodded, now walking to the square that was next to where they were. You didn't know what to do and Darren was just looking at Karen in the same moody way, very serious. What was happening? _**"Could you leave us alone?"**_ Karen asked and when you looked up, you noticed she was looking at you, so you started babbling nervously.

_**"No, she's staying, Karen. Whatever you have to tell me, you can tell me in front of her."**_ Darren answered quickly and you felt even more uncomfortable.

_**"But Darren, it's something private."**_ Karen started complaining, nervously.

_**"Whatever, she's staying; I don't have secrets with her, so just tell me or, otherwise, I'm going."**_ Darren replied curtly.

_**"Darren, it's alright, I'll just leave you alone."**_ You whispered shyly and Darren looked at you frowning.

_**"No, stay here. She can tell it in front of you; if not, well then, she won't say anything at all."**_ Darren answered loudly and you felt nervous. Oh gosh, what should you do?

_**"Please, Darren."**_ Karen begged in the distance.

_**"No..."**_ He started saying and then you held his hand.

_**"Dar, I'll leave you alone, okay? I'll be right there, in the square; so you can talk quiet."**_ You started saying firmly even though you were still uncomfortable. When Darren was about to complain, you interrupted him. _**"It seems she has something important to tell you, Dar, and it seems to be private. I don't have to know absolutely everything; I do understand that this is something only between you and her, so I have nothing to do in here. Talk to her alone, I'll be there, fine?"**_

_**"Fine, just... don't go so far, okay?"**_ He replied softening his voice.

_**"Okay."**_ You smiled slightly and then you let out his hand to walk away; but first, he kissed the corner of your mouth only because you moved your face. You knew it was wrong and more when you saw his sad eyes, but you were still feeling uncomfortable doing this in public.

_**"Thank you."**_ You heard Karen saying and you only looked at her and smiled slightly.

You walked to the square and you sat on one of the benches there, just looking at the grass. You glanced at Darren and Karen and you wondered what they had to talk about, but you didn't want to meddle in it; you knew that you shouldn't have to know everything because, if you were going to be Darren's girlfriend, you didn't want to be one of those girls who were controlling all that the boyfriend was doing or saying, because you thought it wasn't going to be good for neither of you. You were intrigued looking at them that you didn't notice that the Susan girl was now sitting next to you; so when you saw her, you jumped kinda scared.

_**"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to scare you."**_ She said apologetically.

_**"It's fine, stupid me."**_ You said giggling nervously, as you always did when you jumped scared for something really silly.

_**"You're intrigued to know what they're talking about, aren't you?" **_She asked looking at them and you looked at her frowning.

_**"No... I mean, well, just a little, but I wouldn't want to know it. I guess it's something private." **_You answered shrugging, looking at them again.

_**"Yeah, same happens to me. The only thing I know is that they were kind of distant lately." **_She answered and you looked at her curious. Was this true? You didn't know anything about it.

_**"Really? Why? They were used to be good friends."**_ You asked expectant to get some kind of answer.

_**"I don't know so well. I think it was because of someone's fault. But I don't know." **_She answered now looking deeply at you. Why was she looking at you that way? That was uncomfortable... It could be that someone you? But you haven't done anything; at least that was what you thought. _**"So... Are you his girlfriend or something?" **_She asked and you looked at her suspiciously. You didn't know her, so you didn't know if you should answer her.

_**"I don't know."**_ You answered shrugging and looking away.

_**"You don't know?"**_ She asked laughing sarcastically and you looked at her a bit upset._** "How come you don't know?"**_

_**"I just don't know."**_ You answered coldly, looking away again.

_**"Oh, I get it... This is the first time you have a relationship, isn't it?"**_ She asked and you didn't answer. _**"Well, it happens the first time; you never know when you're someone's girlfriend or not."**_ She said softly and then you looked at her.

Maybe you overreacted when you got a bit upset; maybe she wasn't laughing in a derogatory way. You should stop being on guard all the time thinking that everybody wanted to hurt you. Maybe it was time to admit you were his girlfriend; after all, you loved that idea of being called his girlfriend.

_**"Yes, I guess that is so. Well, yes... He's my boyfriend, but is something recent." **_You answered trying to sound self-confident; you needed to start enjoying all the good things you had with no feelings of guilt or shame.

_**"Really?"**_ She exclaimed amazed and laughing. _**"Oh my god! Who would think that a girl like you could be his boyfriend? Not that Darren is the sexiest or coolest boy in school...but you? Oh girl, Darren surely was blind when he got interested on you." **_

_**"Excuse me?"**_ You asked in disbelief, looking at her frowning and feeling very upset and kind of hurt. How could she say something like that? That was so cruel.

_**"I thought he had a good sense when it was about picking a girlfriend. I mean, first it was Jen, then Karen and then Mandy... They were pretty girls... but then he picked you. What is wrong with him?"**_ She asked more to herself, laughing coldly. You couldn't say anything; this was hurting your feelings. _**"Darren is dating the geek girl in school, the fat ass and pimple face girl, unbelievable! Stupid Darren; Darren is a stupid guy, I always knew it." **_

You looked at her really hurt and really mad now. And then you started remembering some things that happened in the first days of school, when the whole bullying thing started. This Susan girl called you geek, fat ass and pimple face. You remembered the poster of you in school and the firsts text messages from W.

_"Remember you're the crap and we're the strong ones, so don't mess with us and don't act as if you were the badass girl, you fucking fat ass. You're gonna lose and we'll hunt you down until you have to wallow in shit, begging down on your knees for forgiveness. Watch your back, pimples. –W-"_

_"Listen, pimple face with fat ass. If you tell anyone how you feel waiting for some kind of help, we're gonna beat you to death; but not only you but all the people who attempt to help you. Would you let them suffer what only you should be suffering? Are you that kind of selfish bitch? We're watching you. -W-"_

_"Things would get really bad if that stupid guy follows you. We're gonna be watching you. -W-"_

You looked at Susan really scared and aghast. She used the same words that W was used to use in the text messages. Oh damn shit, could she be W? Could it be? Your whole body started trembling and you didn't know if you should stay silent, if you should yell for help, if you should face her or if you should be sure of this first.

_**"Sorry, how did you call me?"**_ It was the only thing you asked and she looked at you archly.

_**"What? Geek? Fat ass? Pimple face? Everybody thinks that about you, stupid bitch." **_She answered archly and you started feeling bad, really bad and completely scared. Maybe you were now in front of W.


	21. The coolest girl

A/N: Alright guys! This time I'm gonna make this shorter because I do not have so much time! That's why I uploaded this chapter earlier than usual. I'd love to answer each one of you as I've been doing, but really I can't in this moment! I have exams, parties, presentations, family visitors from another city and a lot of things! So this time I'm gonna thank you in general, so sorry! It's so funny how mad you are at Susan, W and all that stuff! W needed to come back, I think; you still have to find out who it is or what that person is gonna do! About this new chapter... This time I'm not gonna say anything, I'll let you read and you then can tell me what you think! I just wish you can enjoy it! So, that's all I guess. No, actually not. I wanted to tell you that maybe I won't be able to update the next chapter on Saturday; in case I can't make it, I'm gonna upload it on Sunday! I wanted to let you know that, considering that you all know that Saturday is the day I upload new chapters. And I still don't know if you're gonna be alive or not! I mean, December 21 is next Friday! I'm just kidding and it was silly, I know! I'll just let you read! Enjoy and have a totally awesome week!

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**Teenage Dream – Part 21 – The coolest girl.**

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I was checking that Freckles wasn't going so far because I couldn't be tranquil whenever she was away, not after knowing that for some reason W always seemed to know where we were all the time. When I saw she sat on a bench and then Susan sat next to her, I felt relaxed and I finally looked at Karen, who was now nearer me and looking at the girls as well.

_**"Darren, why did you call her baby?"**_ Karen asked still looking at the girls and I just looked at Karen serious.

I remembered quite well the last conversation we had; when she called Freckles a lot of awful things, when she made me choose between her and Freckles, when she treated me as if I was the worst friend on earth and when she said our friendship was over because of Freckles. Yeah, of course it was sad for me to have lost Karen as my friend; yeah, of course I wanted to be friends with her again because I loved her as my friend; but she said a lot of awful things, and I did my part as well, but at least I tried to talk to her while she was avoiding me all this time. So I had no idea why she wanted to talk to me again all of a sudden, and I had no idea why she was interested to know about me and Freckles now; as if she actually cared, please.

_**"Because I'm dating her."**_ I answered curtly, looking at her fixedly and serious; almost challenging and expectant to see her reaction. Fortunately, Freckles wasn't near, so she didn't hear me saying I was her boyfriend, I knew she still didn't want it to be public.

_**"Are you serious, Darren?"**_ She asked in disbelief, bewildered and almost in disgust. Well, that made me feel even more upset than I already was.

_**"Yes, I'm totally serious."**_ I replied coldly.

_**"Why her, Darren? Why?"**_ She asked again in disbelief.

_**"Because she's precious inside and outside; and because I love her for that as I've never loved someone before. Yeah, that's why is her."**_ I answered looking at Karen fixedly and serious. Better if she did not dare to say anything bad about Freckles.

_**"Darren, what is wrong with you? You had something with that Mandy girl, the most popular and prettiest girl in school and you changed her for this girl? People are gonna start talking about this and is not gonna be something nice. I don't know what you're doing, Darren. You're so weird lately."**_ Karen said a bit annoyed, shaking her head and frowning. And I felt even more upset.

_**"Oh yeah, Mandy. She's Freckles' sister, did you know that?" **_I asked almost ironically, trying to control my anger while Karen looked at me wide eyed as she shook her head slowly. _**"Yeah, she is. Anyway, it wasn't going to work and we both agreed that. Mandy is kind of happy for us, I guess. At least it was what she made me think. So yeah, I changed Mandy for that girl who is Freckles and I've never been happier. Maybe that's why you said I'm weird; because yeah, I was happy before, but it was nothing compared to now. I'm not acting weird; I'm acting like an actual happy guy in love."**_ I said looking at Karen fixedly while she was still looking at me frowning. _**"And for the record, I don't give a shit if I'm dating with the most popular girl or the shyest girl in school; I don't care if I'm dating the prettiest or the ugliest, physically talking, girl in school. I just don't give a shit because that's not what it matters to me, Karen. I'm dating this girl, Freckles, because she drives me crazy with her kind heart and I love absolutely everything about her, all her strengths and weaknesses. So I don't give a shit about what people are gonna start talking, because actually it doesn't matter as long as I feel happy, as long as she feels happy too. People can talk and kiss my ass if they want; I just know I'm feeling great with her, so... What else can I ask for?"**_ I asked looking challenging at her, letting her know that she would have to rinse her mouth out with soap before talking bad about Freckles.

_**"It's beautiful what you say, Darren. But sadly you're only talking about you and her and it's as if you're forgetting about your friends."**_ She whispered looking down and I squinted in disbelief.

_**"What the fuck? What are you talking about Karen?"**_ I asked incredulous. _**"I'm sorry, but as far as I know, I wasn't the one who forced a friend to choose between two people, I'm not the one who is thinking only about one person; and if I told you so, is because you asked about me and her; so do not misconstrue what I said and do not take my words out of context."**_ I said mad, but still trying to control. It was hard, man. I couldn't believe I was coming to this point with one of my greatest friends; I never imagined that this could happen.

_**"Excuse me, are you reproaching me something, Darren?"**_ She asked upset, looking at me frowning and squinting.

_**"No, I'm not. I'm just reminding you that you were the one who said that our friendship was over because, for you, I had the obligation to choose between you and her. So tell me now, who is the one who is thinking about oneself? You or me? Think about it."**_ I asked rhetorically, looking at her fixedly and still upset. I was expecting her to insult or to yell at me; but instead, she looked down kinda sad.

_**"I'm sorry, Darren. What I did was wrong, I know it and I'm sorry."**_ She said lowly, still looking down and I started calming my anger.

_**"And if you knew it, why wouldn't you talk to me when I looked for you to try to solve our problems? Why, Karen? Because I tried and you wouldn't talk, you kept ignoring me. And that hurt me, Karen; because I thought our friendship was stronger than a stupid dispute about a stupid thing that came to happen because of a stupid anonymous person."**_ I said a bit upset but also dreary.

_**"I know and I'm sorry! I was scared, Darren! After we had that dispute that day, I kept receiving those text messages; threatening me about that if I dared to talk to you someone was going to hurt me and to hurt you. What could have I done, Darren? What?"**_ She asked in an exclamation, looking at me desperate and nervous. I also looked at her nervous... So she kept receiving those text messages and I didn't know, all this time she was alone on this. Oh man, I felt terrible. _**"And right now I'm afraid that the supposed W is hearing this, I'm afraid that this person is gonna hurt us because of this!"**_

_**"Hey, Karen..."**_ I said softening my voice and changing completely my bad temper, now feeling pity for her and also scared. I placed my hands on her shoulders to reassure her, because she was about to cry. _**"Once I told you that I wasn't going to let W to hurt you, I'm keeping my word." **_

_**"Will you really do that?"**_ She asked with teary voice, looking deeply into my eyes.

_**"Yes, I will."**_ I assured firmly.

_**"But... But..."**_ She babbled with the same teary voice, now shedding some tears.

_**"But what?"**_ I asked softly, caressing her shoulders to reassure her.

_**"This W person told me that... This person threatened me with..."**_ She babbled again and I barely could understand what she said.

_**"With what?"**_ I asked kind of concerned. I needed to know.

_**"This person told me that if I dared to talk to you while you were still with that girl..." **_

_**"Freckles."**_ I corrected her but softly.

_**"Yes, that Freckles girl... W told me that was going to make me suffer by... by hurting my family, Darren!" **_She exclaimed scared and sorrowful and I looked at her frowning. _**"And that's not all. Also told me that was going to... to... to hurt you and Cerina. This person told me that if I wanted everything to be alright, the solution was only not to talk to you never again or to make you walk away from that girl. And I don't know what to do because I want you to be happy and you recently said that you were happy with that girl; but I also miss you, Darren. I need my friend. I feel lonely."**_ She cried and I looked at her freeze. No, I couldn't do that but neither had I wanted to stop talking to her. Dammit, she was my friend and Freckles was my girlfriend; I loved them both, this was so unfair, man.

_**"Karen..."**_ I whispered letting out a nervous and scared giggle. _**"Please, let's don't go over this again. I won't choose between you and Freckles. I miss you as my friend too, but Freckles is very but very important to me; so I'm not gonna choose. What I can promise you is not to let W to hurt you nor anybody you love. But I'm staying with the two of you and that is something you need to understand."**_ I said very slowly and looking at her fixedly. _**"Can you take it?"**_

_**"I don't know, Darren. I don't think so."**_ She whispered looking down and I felt bad. I really thought she was going to say yes.

_**"I'm so sorry, Karen. I love you; but Freckles... She means a lot to me and I love her so fucking much. It was really hard for me to be with her as I am now and there's no way I'm walking away from her because I simply can't. And it hurts me a lot to say this, but... I love Freckles with all my heart, Karen; so... I'm staying with her. I wish you could change your mind, because I already promised to try to do my best not to let anybody hurt you."**_ I said now looking down and feeling really bad for what I was saying, but... I really couldn't be away from Freckles.

_**"Really, Darren?"**_ She asked with teary and choked voice, still looking down. I knew she was crying but I couldn't look at her.

_**"Yeah, sorry."**_ I whispered feeling even worse.

_**"You really love that girl, she's lucky."**_ She whispered with the same choked voice. _**"And I want you to be happy, after all. I... I'm scared, Darren... But if you really promise me that you won't..."**_ She started saying and I looked up to her. _**"That you won't leave me alone and that you will kind of protect me... If you really promise that... I think... I'll do that for you, just to see you happy with her but also being my friend as we used to be. If you really promise." **_

_**"I really promise, Karen."**_ I said smiling kindly and looking at her fondly.

_**"Thank you."**_ She said in tears and I hugged her tightly. I hugged my beloved friend. _**"I missed you, fool."**_

_**"I missed you too, silly."**_ I whispered giggling softly while still hugging her. _**"You'll see everything is going to be fine; we're stronger while we're all together."**_

_**"I hope so."**_ She said breaking the hug to look at me, smiling slightly. _**"I should… I really should come back… Susan and I were doing a project and we were just walking because we took a break and now it's late… I… I'm happy we could finally talk."**_

"_**I'm happy too, Karen."**_ I said smiling friendly. _**"And I do understand you have to go. Now I'm glad to say to you see you tomorrow." **_

"_**Yes… See you tomorrow, Darren."**_ She said smiling kindly.

I stayed there, seeing how Karen walked to Susan and how they both waved her hands to greet me. I was doing fine, this was going well; I had Freckles with me and finally I could talk to my friend Karen and we were fine now. Yeah, it was a great day. I walked to Freckles smiling widely, but she wasn't looking up, so I just sat next to her, feeling pretty well. I wrapped an arm around her and that was when I noticed she was trembling, so I looked intently at her. She was completely pale and she had this shock expression on her face, looking at nowhere in particular. The image of her in the guest room when she got really sick and she had to be hospitalized came up into my mind.

_**"Baby, are you alright?"**_ I asked concerned and scared. She didn't answer and she didn't even look at me. _**"Baby, what's wrong?"**_ Once again, she didn't answer and I was really freaking out now. What the hell could have happened? _**"Freckles, please, answer me!"**_ I exclaimed loudly and desperately. So this time she looked at me in silence. Her eyes were bigger than ever and her body wouldn't stop trembling; she seemed to be indeed in shock._** "What is happening?"**_

_**"W."**_ She murmured with trembling voice.

_**"Oh no, fuck. Has W sent you a text message again?"**_ I asked annoyed but scared because she was really pale. She only shook her head in response. Oh man, she needed to tell me what was going on. _**"So what, then?"**_

_**"Remember I told you I had to tell you new things?"**_ She murmured again and I nodded.

Of course I remembered it, when she told me that and I asked her to forget about W only for that night; it was just that things happened in between so then we never could talk about it. But why would she tell me that right now? Why was she doing fine and now she was like this?

_**"Well, there are a lot of things that happened that you don't know, and I don't know how to start explaining you."**_ She started saying nervous and I squeezed her shoulder to reassure her.

_**"Hey, we can talk about this later, if you want. Please, calm down."**_ I said softly, looking at her, even though she wasn't looking at me anymore.

_**"No, if it's not now then I don't know when, because it seems I can't find the proper time to tell you this."**_ She said looking down and then she looked into my eyes. _**"Do you want to know or not? I mean, do you still want to find out who W is? Because if not, I completely understand but I want you to tell me the truth because..."**_

_**"Hey, hey, baby. Calm down."**_ I interrupted her when I noticed she started rambling nervously. _**"I really do want to know and I do really want to find out who W is. I just don't want you to feel scared and nervous as you are now. Just that."**_ I said smoothly and she looked at me still with her eyes bigger than ever. _**"Listen, if you don't know how to start explaining me that, it doesn't matter; just explain me the way you want and I'll try my best to get what you try to say; but just relax, alright?"**_

_**"Alright."**_ She sighed and then she took a deep breath. _**"Nothing is what it seems."**_ She assured firmly and I looked at her confused. Well, it wasn't a good way to start. _**"When I couldn't remember anything at all, you know I used to hang out with Brian and his friends."**_ She said looking away and I nodded, frowning just because of the thought of that. _**"Right. When I was hanging out with them, they said things that I can remember. They talked to me about W, but they told me that you were W. In that time I believed them, hence is the reason why I treated you in a bad way during that time. Of course I don't think you're W now, because I remembered everything, fortunately. So yeah, they tried to convince me that you were W so they could get information of you; they kinda brainwashed me. It explains the plan of being friendly with you when I couldn't remember you. Sorry for that." **_She said looking at me sadly.

_**"It's okay, we talked about it and I forgave you."**_ I said smiling softly but frowning because my brain was like processing all the new information. Still, I couldn't get what her point was. So far, she didn't say anything weird that could help us to find out who W was. _**"So... Is there something else?"**_ I asked cautiously and she nodded, looking away again.

_**"Jim is definitely involved on this grim game of W. He was the main person who tried to convince me that you were W."**_ She whispered, but she wasn't saying anything that we didn't know already. That was more than obvious. _**"What you don't know is who else was involved."**_

_**"So...? Who else is involved?"**_ I asked gingerly and curious after a short silence.

_**"Dean is involved."**_ She whispered deep in thought and I laughed softly in disbelief while she looked at me frowning.

_**"That's absurd, Freckles. Dean is my friend since years and he's a good person."**_ I said still in disbelief.

_**"Well, but he's involved. It may explain why W knew a lot of things about you and Jen; it was because all this time Dean was helping W."**_ She said again, insistent.

_**"No, Freckles. No way. Dean is really my friend; we've been friends since I was a freshman, so I know him. And he knows a lot about me and Jen; but W threatened us with things that Dean has no idea; because even though he's our friend, we didn't share our most private things. Just, it's ridiculous what you're saying."**_ I said shaking my head, incredulous and when I looked at her and I saw her hurt eyes, I regretted for being this incredulous. But I couldn't help it; seriously, there was no way that Dean could be involved.

_**"Darren, I'm telling you what I had to go through while I had this memory loss. Dean was also there, trying to convince me that you were W. I remember exactly his words. He said that I needed to keep going to the drama class and I needed to pretend I was your friend so then they'll get more information about your plans. He said that and I told him that I treated you in a crappy way minutes ago, so you wouldn't want to talk to me; so then he gave me an advice. He told me that I should tell you that I was going to do whatever it takes if you only could forgive me, that you were going to fall. Dean himself said that, not Jim."**_ She said still deep in thought, now telling me this in a sad way. I still couldn't believe that.

_**"Maybe you're just confusing things, you were feeling lost that time. Dean can't..." **_

_**"I'm not confusing things, Darren."**_ She interrupted me abruptly, looking at me bewildered. _**"The fact I couldn't remember my past in that moment, it doesn't mean that I wasn't aware of what they were saying or who said those things. I forgot my past, yeah; but I can remember perfectly what happened whilst I couldn't remember. I really thought you trusted me." **_She said now looking at me disappointed. Whoa, that was a terrible way to look at me; I've never seen her disappointed of me like this.

_**"Hey no, baby."**_ I said looking deeply into her eyes.

_**"Do not call me baby if you aren't able to trust me; and do not call me your girlfriend if you won't believe what I say when I'm being honest. If you can't do that, then we aren't anything. After all, every relationship is based on trusting. If you can't trust now, you won't trust later and we're starting in a bad way."**_ She said still disappointed and I started feeling really bad. How could this have ended on this? _**"And I'm not forcing you to believe me on this, because this is something you should feel. What I'm trying to say is that it makes me feel bad the fact that you're thinking that I'm lying about this, because, someway, it means that you don't know me that well."**_ She said with cracked voice, looking down. Man, her words hurt me.

_**"You aren't getting this, Freckles."**_ I said and my voice trembled. _**"I do know you and I... I believe you, but... Oh shit. Freckles, is hard for me to think that Dean is involved. He is really a good person and he's been my friend..."**_

_**"Since years. I know it, you already said that. And it's fine. After all, you know him better than me; and, after all, you know him since years ago and you know me only since August."**_ She said serious, still looking down. Oh no, no; she was getting this all wrong. _**"Maybe it was a bad idea to tell you this."**_

_**"No, Freckles. Oh my God. You're not understanding; please, stop overstating things."**_

_**"Am I overstating things?"**_ She asked in disbelief and hurt, now looking into my eyes. Oh shit, I didn't like how this was developing.

_**"No. Maybe I expressed myself in a bad way. I know what you may be thinking and that's not what I meant." **_I said slowly, looking gingerly at her.

_**"So what's what you meant, Darren?"**_ She asked as if she was tired, sighing.

_**"Okay, I'll start over again."**_ I sighed, because I just didn't know how to let her know that I did trust her, but this was something hard to believe_**. "I do trust you and I know that you aren't lying, because you can't lie; whenever you lie, you play with your fingers and you weren't doing that. But please, try to understand me. Dean is my friend, I know him and we shared a lot of things together. So is kind of weird to hear that he's involved. It's like... as if I suddenly tell you that your sister is also involved on this but you never saw her doing something unusual. How would you feel? Would you believe me the first time I tell you this, even if you trust me because I'm your boyfriend?"**_ I asked looking fixedly into her eyes and she babbled nervously before looking down, frowning and thoughtful.

_**"No, I guess I wouldn't."**_ She finally answered in a whisper.

_**"Well, it's exactly like that how I'm feeling. I do trust you, I know that you won't lie to me; but is kinda shocking to figure this out all of a sudden of a person that I consider as one of my closest friends. Anyway, even if it still seems odd for me to believe it, I choose to believe you and we'll find out together if it's in fact like that."**_ I said looking into her eyes and holding her hands.

_**"I don't want to force you to believe me..." **_

_**"Baby, you're not forcing me. I truly believe you. Maybe... maybe W forced Dean to do this, for some reason. I don't know, maybe W threatened him to do this. I have no idea."**_ I said thoughtful, trying to find a logical explanation to why Dean would do something like that.

_**"Talking about W forcing and threatening people to do things... There's something else..."**_ She said shyly and insecure and I looked at her intrigued.

_**"What's that?" **_

_**"Brian... Well, Brian actually is not a bad guy."**_ She said with bated breath, looking down and I started to look at her kind of suspiciously. Her reaction was weird. Why would she say something as preposterous as that?

_**"That's so nonsensical, Freckles."**_ I said thunderstruck and she frowned, hurt. Oh dude, I was doing it again, I was making her feel bad again. _**"How come you can say Brian is not a bad guy after all he has done to you?"**_

_**"Well, he isn't. He... While Jim and Dean were trying to convince me that you were W, he said that I shouldn't believe them; that maybe you were my real friend. He was the only one who gave me another point of view of how things could be while the others were just brainwashing me. He was the one who encouraged me to try to solve things with you, he was the only one who told me that you seemed to really care about me, that you weren't a bad person. So, what kind of ally of W would say that about you?"**_ She asked looking deeply into my eyes.

_**"A really good ally, actually."**_ I answered quietly, still in disbelief for what she was saying. _**"He would pretend to be a good person, so you'd think that he is actually trying to see you're doing fine with me just to then get your trusting, so then you'll just tell him how good we're doing now, all we do or all we don't do, just to tell that to W. It's the same that Jim and... Dean tried to convince you to do with me."**_

_**"It's not like that, Darren. He told me things. He told me that W was also threatening him with his father's job and a lot of private things. And he was being honest; I saw it in his eyes."**_ She said very convinced and firmly.

_**"Oh for fuck's sake, Freckles! He was pretending and he's getting what he wanted, you to believe him."**_ I exclaimed exasperated and she looked at me a bit annoyed. _**"Brian is a fucking asshole. Freckles, he beat you; he beat you and you ended up at hospital. That scar you have in your jaw now? That is because of Brian's fault. He treated you like shit all this time. How the hell can you think he's a good person? How?"**_ I asked kind of mad.

_**"Because W forced him to do all of those things. It's not his fault, he didn't want to do all of that; he had no options and I do understand him and I forgive him, because I know how W threatened him, Darren. That's why." **_She replied annoyed and that was getting me on my nerves.

_**"I can't believe it, Freckles. He's manipulating you and you're being so damn fool."**_ I said really madly.

_**"So am I a fool for you? Is that what I am for you? Only because I decided to forgive a guy who has been forced to do things he didn't want? Just as you've been forced to do things you didn't want? As Jen's been forced to do things she didn't want? As me? Am I a fool for that?"**_ She asked really upset.

_**"Yes, you're a fool for that."**_ I said coldly because I was really mad at the way Brian was manipulating her.

_**"Good to know, Darren."**_ She replied after a while, very coldly and then she stood up.

_**"What? Are we also gonna fight because of the stupid of Brian? Are you gonna walk away as you always do when you get mad because you're too coward to deal with our problems?"**_ I yelled angry while she was walking.

When she turned around to look at me after I said that, I realized I crossed the line and said things that I didn't mean to say. Fuck, the way she was looking at me now was truly scary; I've never seen her like this mad; her face was totally transformed; she didn't seem to be the sweet Freckles I knew. She walked to me really angry and I felt scared. Man, I was feeling scared of Freckles. What the heck?

_**"Do you think I'm a coward? Do you think I can't deal with this stupid thing, Darren? Really? I've been through worst things and this is nothing compared to that. Do not call me coward because you've no idea what I have to go through every single damn day of my life. I can be insecure, I can be stupid, I can be shy and I can be afraid all the time; but I'm not a coward. I deal with my fears day by day and what you know about me it's only a part, you don't know everything about me and my past; so don't talk about things you don't know. And do you really think I can't deal with this? Well, here I am. Spit it out, tell me all the things you've been reproaching in secret about me; tell me all the things you never dared to tell me because you thought I was going to break. Tell me it all; face me, Darren. Right now. I've been through worse things, so one more thing that you can tell me that could hurt me, won't make a difference." **_She yelled in a rage and I noticed how all the veins of her neck were showing because of the anger. I was there looking at her scared, aghast and feeling very little and helpless in front of her commanding presence. What was this? I've never seen her like this and I couldn't even react, I was shocked. _**"Come on, Darren. I'm here to deal with this, so spit it out!"**_ She yelled again and I felt as if I couldn't talk, as if I couldn't move. Nevertheless, I stood up and I walked to her, very gingerly.

_**"Freckles, can we talk about this?"**_ I asked faint-heartedly.

_**"We're talking already, Darren!"**_ She yelled in anger.

_**"No, we aren't talking; we're arguing and I don't want it."**_ I said distressed and my voice cracked. Yeah, of course this was making me feel terrible; I didn't want to argue with her, I couldn't stand it. She huffed and sighed, but she changed her face; now she wasn't looking scary. _**"This went out of control and I really don't want to argue with you. I'm sorry by the way I treated you. You aren't a fool; you're just so kind-hearted that you can't understand how someone can pretend to be someone that isn't. If I called you a fool it was because I'm feeling so upset with Brian, for making you believe things that aren't, because I'm scared that he can hurt you and I don't want it to happen. It was because I was scared and not because you're a fool."**_ I said softly, looking into her eyes and now holding her hands, while she was calming. _**"I didn't mean to call you a coward; I called you like that because I... because I'm this stupid guy who sometimes is so proud to apologize for his mistakes. I know you aren't a coward because I always thought you're very strong for being able to move on despite all the shitty things that happen to you. I don't want to reproach you anything, because I have nothing to reproach you; because you've always been this incredible wondrous person; so wondrous that sometimes I think I don't deserve you."**_ I said looking deeply and fondly into her eyes, while my voice cracked because of the thrill. Now she was looking at me in a different way, now her eyes were teary, but she didn't say anything at all. _**"I know I don't know everything about you and your past, I know I still don't know what terrible things you've been through in your life. But I wish that someday you could open your heart to me completely; and I wish you could have room in your heart for me, so you'd let me to go through this with you. I wish I could help you more and I wish I could make you feel loved as I'd like you to feel. But sometimes I'm so jerk that I can't find the way to show you all I feel for you that is too much. I love you so much and I feel terrible because I can't show you that, I can't find the way to make you feel that. But I love you."**_ I said now shedding some tears, still holding her hands tightly.

She was also shedding some tears now and, after a while we remained looking into each other's eyes, she pulled me into a tight and warm hug. She wrapped her arms around my neck, burying her head on my chest; as I wrapped my arms around her waist, burying my head on her shoulder; both of us still sobbing. I really thought I could lose her seconds ago, but with this hug, I felt relaxed and sobbing like this was the only way I could let out my feelings.

_**"I'm sorry, Darren. I didn't mean to say all of those things, to have treated you like that; you didn't deserve it. I'm a terrible girlfriend." **_She said still sobbing on my chest and I started caressing her hair and rubbing her back. I was trying to reassure her because I didn't want her to feel guilty; but anyway, I couldn't avoid a slight grin when I heard she called herself my girlfriend.

_**"Why do you call yourself a terrible girlfriend? All I witnessed minutes ago was you, standing up for something. What I witnessed, it was you being human being. All that distress, all that anger; those were just the proof that you aren't feeling good. And you know what? It's not bad to feel bad sometimes, actually is something normal; so I'm glad you showed it. You see, being angry isn't bad, it means that you are still alive, and that you can still feel emotions when things don't go well. We cannot be happy all the time in our lives; that would be hypocrite. I'm glad you let me see you like that, because it means you do care; and I'm glad you let me see it because I wasn't aware of what I was doing wrong, so now I'd be able to change it for us. Hence, you aren't a terrible girlfriend; you're a great girlfriend."**_ I whispered while I was still trying to reassure her. All I said, it was true. She looked into my eyes with teary eyes but not sobbing anymore, now resting her chin on my chest and I looked down to look into her eyes as well; nevertheless, she couldn't say anything. _**"I'd like to know what is going through your mind now; I'd like to understand why you aren't feeling good. I want to make this with you; I don't wanna leave you alone with this entire burden you're carrying upon your shoulders. I wanna be the guy who's gonna take that entire burden for you when you're feeling tired to keep moving on. I wanna know what is happening to you, baby. Please, let me know."**_

_**"It's not only one thing, Darren..."**_ She replied looking down.

_**"We have time."**_ I said smiling slightly, letting her know that it didn't matter for how long we would have to talk, I was willing to listen to her; I wanted that. _**"Why don't we just sit over there and we talk?"**_

She looked deeply into my eyes for a while before nodding in agreement. So we walked to the bench where we were sitting minutes before. We stayed in silence for a while; I stayed silent because I was giving her all the time she needed to start talking, and she was silent because she seemed to be thinking how to start telling me all she had to tell. Then she started telling me about her unknown past for me, she started telling me all the differences that her father was used to make between her and her sister Amanda; she started telling me the way her father was all the time controlling her life, forcing her all the time to be better and get the best scores in school, forcing her to learn how to be competitive, teaching her how money was more important than anything else. She told me how much she disagreed with this, but she never did anything about it, because she was scared since her father was a rancorous and very prideful person. She told me that she always did what her father told her to do, because after all, he was still her father and she loved him, but also because her father was a bossy and strict man since her grandfather was a soldier, a man who died in the Second World War. She told me also about her mother, she told me she was the only one who could make her father change his mind, she was the only one who could calm down her father; but sadly she was never home because of work; she was all the time working and she was always away from San Francisco because of conferences. She told me how she was raised with her grandmother, who was sick because of the depression to have lost her husband in the War. She told me how she had to take pills to keep the awareness of reality; she told me how she was a violent person every time she forgot to take the pills. She told me that in that time when she and her sister were living with her grandmother, the two sisters were very united and they supported each other. But then she told me they came back to live in their house with her mother and father, and she told that family problems started happening. She told me the way her mother and father argued all the nights when they thought that the sisters were sleeping; she told me all the times her father left the house because of those disputes; and she told me the way that she and Amanda started to grow apart because of those problems. After she told me all about her family past, she started telling me the way she was discriminated the first day she started high school. She told me about all the awful things that people have done to her; of course not as terrible as W was doing, but terrible at the end. She told me why she started being the way she was, the same way which was the reason why people discriminated her. She told me that she was the person she was now because it was the only way out of her problems and confusion she could find. It was the only way she could keep her mind busy and forget about the bad things; but right when she was trying to forget the bad things of her family, bad things started happening to her in high school, it was like a vicious circle. She told me that it didn't matter how much she tried, she couldn't overcome those problems for some frustrating and unknown reason. She told me she tried to change this year; she admitted me that when she started the first day of school, she was decided to start changing the way people mistreated her but anything went as expected; instead, things got worse with this issue of W. She told me that nevertheless, not everything was bad in her life; she also had very good memories and good things happened to her; she told me that Jen and I were one of those really good things in her life. But she told me that as much as she tried, the bad things were always above the good things and that was sickening. She told me that she had no idea how to change things, but she wanted that change; only that she didn't know how to start because people let her down so deep that she was losing her hopes and encouragement.

_**"I remind myself all the time that I shouldn't let them to make me feel down for what they say, but I fail all the time and I can't avoid it. Words can hurt you so deep in your heart, you know? And we try to convince ourselves that they won't hurt us again with their rough words, but we're lying to ourselves, because it keeps hurting no matter what you do or not. It just hurts and it cannot be reversed. It's sad to think that actually we're not what we are because it's what we wanted to be. It's sad to realize that actually we are a collection of events that came to happen to us, a collection of rough or nice words people told us ever, a collection of what the world showed us. It's sad because you come to think that maybe we don't have control of ourselves as much as we think it's like that. So then, how far are we really free? How far are we owners of our own decisions? It's a doubt I've ever had and I still can't figure out its answer."**_ She said with teary voice.

Surprisingly, she didn't shed any tears and I couldn't figure out if that was a good thing or not. Both or she was overcoming her problems or she was just too let down to keep trying to overcome it, so she just gave up. She made me feel all her hidden anguish and concerns just by the way she was saying it all with such honesty and openness. She was opening her heart to me, as I always wished. The point was that I wanted to help her, to support and reassure her; but I didn't know how to do that after all of those confessions. I didn't know what to say because I never expected to hear things like that. I really needed to say something, because now she was looking down and I knew she was feeling kind of ashamed for telling me it all with genuineness. Surely she didn't tell this to anybody, maybe I was a very important person to her; and it wasn't fair that the first time she dared to say it all out loud, she wouldn't get anything as a response, anything at all because I was this jerk who couldn't find the words to say.

_**"Whoa."**_ It was the only stupid thing I could say. Whoa. Really? _**"The truth is, I'm one of those few people who actually care when I ask 'What's wrong?' The only problem is that usually I have no idea what to say afterward or how to make it better. I try not to use phrases like 'That sucks' or 'I'm sorry', but I still can never find the right words to say. But I promise, I'll always listen. I guess that's all I can do."**_

_**"Thank you, that's all I can ask for. So, really, thanks."**_ She replied in a whisper, smiling slightly but still looking down. No, she couldn't feel like that. How would she say that it was all she could ask for? That wasn't fair. I stayed silent for a long time, just thinking about all I wanted to say, but I was having troubles to express it.

_**"Freckles..."**_ I whispered awkwardly, holding her hands and she looked up to me. Yeah, now that she looked at me with those big eyes seeking for a hint of hope, I figured out a way to tell her what I was thinking. _**"You cannot change how people treat you or what they say about you, it's impossible. What you can do is to change the way you react to it. So I do think that we're not a collection of what other people say about us or how they treat us, but precisely we're a collection of how we react to those actions or events. I think that when you come to start assimilating this, then you'll find your answer. That is what is gonna define if you're owner of your own decisions or not, when you're gonna have the control of yourself. And from that moment and on, words won't stop you from doing what you want."**_

_**"I wish I could be less dramatic with fewer problems and be, instead, more cheerful and simple for you. I don't like to be always that kind of girl who you have to cheer up and reassure all the time."**_ She whispered, looking intensely into my eyes.

_**"I wouldn't like you in any other way, different of how you are. This girl I have in front of me now? I fell in love with her just the way she is. If she were any different, simple like other girls, then most definitely I wouldn't be so madly in love as I am now."**_ I said smiling fondly and caressing her cheek sweetly, while she was looking at me with bright eyes, smiling just as fondly.

_**"Thanks for loving me like that."**_ She said smiling shyly at me, but still in a very sweet way. _**"I... I love you, Dare."**_ She whispered shyly but in a way that made my heart skip a beat.

Whoa man, she never said that in this wonderful way. I couldn't help it, man; I had this extraordinary need to kiss her. And this was the first time that we both leaned to kiss each other at exactly the same time. It was a very gentle but long kiss, it started out a bit tentatively as I felt her out, and it finished lingering. I felt so much emotion connected to it, that I was really very surprised with myself because I usually don't get emotionally attached too easily. But with her, everything was different, nothing was as usual and I loved it. When we parted, I looked deeply into her eyes and neither of us said something. While I was staring her, I wondered how I could have ended up loving her this much; I wondered why she was the girl, my girl. Months ago I had no idea who she was, and look at me now; I can't stop feeling this tingling sensation in my tummy whenever I'm near her or whenever I think about her. I would have never imagined that a person like Freckles could take my breath away, literally. Man, what is this feeling? Why do I feel so damn weird? It was almost like being sick, but with the difference that it was a pleasant feeling. Why sick? Because I had this pressure in my chest; I could barely control my body because I seemed to be like floating, my body wouldn't stop trembling and shivering and every part of my body was lighter; my heart wouldn't stop beating faster than usual and I wouldn't stop having palpitations; my head was about to explode because I couldn't tell the difference between reality and imagination; because, to be true, I just didn't know what this all was. But, contradictorily, all of those feelings were just so amazing and agreeable. Was this normal? Was I going crazy? The only certain thing was that undoubtedly I could stay lost in this moment forever, with her, always with her.

_**"Always."**_ I whispered while I was dumbfounded looking at her. Of course, I never meant to say it out loud.

_**"What? Why did you say always?"**_ Freckles asked curious and confused and I felt very ashamed.

_**"Nothing, nothing... I was just thinking about something."**_ I replied embarrassed, blushing slightly as she smiled amused. After a while, I looked at her, feeling a bit nervous. _**"Baby... I want to show you something. I think this moment is accurate, considering what we just talked about..." **_I started saying shyly.

_**"Yeah? What's that?"**_ She asked looking at me curiously. Her look was so intense that I felt even shyer. So simple that only she had that effect on me. Me? Shy? It was ridiculous, but none of my feelings had sense with her and that fact was kind of fantastic.

_**"Well, uhm... Do you remember the night we went to the Golden Gate Bridge, when you remembered everything?"**_ I asked awkwardly, not knowing how to start telling her what I had for her.

_**"I do."**_ She replied frowning, still intrigued and curious.

_**"At one point of the night we pretended not to know each other, remember?"**_ I asked once again, if not more awkwardly. She only smiled slightly and nodded. _**"Alright. Do you remember what we talked about in that moment?" **_

_**"Oh well, you said a lot of things. I remember you telling me about a dangerous werewolf."**_ She answered amused and I looked down, shaking my head and giggling softly. Man, I couldn't believe how many silly things I could say sometimes.

_**"Not that."**_ I said still giggling and she looked at me even more amused, now biting her lower lip. _**"The other thing..."**_

_**"Let me think..."**_ She said thoughtful, looking up. _**"Yeah, we talked about college and that this is your last year in high school."**_

_**"Yes. But there was a reason why we were talking about college..."**_ I said insistent, still not knowing how to manage this conversation, even though it was me the one who started it.

_**"Because you were scared?"**_ She asked frowning, apparently trying hard to figure out what my point was.

_**"No, not because of that."**_ I replied shaking my head energetically.

_**"Darren, why are you rambling like this? Are you nervous or something?"**_ She asked still frowning and confused.

_**"No, I'm not."**_ I answered quickly on the defensive; but then I looked away because that was a lie. _**"Well actually yes, I'm kinda nervous but because...oh fuck."**_ I exclaimed frustrated. Why was this being so hard? I've been in worse situations.

_**"Let's do something. Why don't you just tell me what your point is? So then is gonna be less awkward. After all, I don't bite."**_ She simply said, shrugging.

_**"Oh, really? Because earlier it wasn't me the one biting an ear."**_ I answered now amused and looking at her fixedly and mischievously, raising an eyebrow.

_**"That was the only exception."**_ She replied laughing out loud, rolling her eyes.

_**"Yeah, yeah, sure."**_ I said mischievously, shaking my head. Then I sighed, trying to finally say what I wanted. _**"Fine. What I was trying to make you remember, was the thing we talked about music and how you asked me if I ever wrote my own songs."**_

_**"Oh yes, of course I remember it!"**_ She exclaimed, nodding energetically in a very cute way. She was like a child, so very spontaneous, who could get excited even with the smallest things. _**"I was so impressed about it, when you told me all the instruments you can play; and your awesome voice... Yes, I remember. You didn't like when I called you a musician. I thought it was absurd the fact that you didn't like it, considering how talented you are." **_She said and I felt how I started blushing, because of the excessive way she flattered me.

_**"Well, yes, that's because I'm not a musician yet and not because I didn't like it. I've got a lot to learn before, I've already explained you that. Okay, okay, but the point wasn't that; it was about writing my own songs."**_ I said trying to get straight to the point now.

_**"Yes, you told me that you tried to do it, but you never could finish a song; because you had so many ideas but you just didn't know how to connect them all or something like that. Am I wrong?"**_ She asked innocently, looking at me. Fortunately, she remembered something, so now it was easier to explain what I wanted to show her.

_**"No, you're right; it was something like that."**_ I answered quietly, now feeling a bit less nervous. _**"The point is that in that time I didn't tell you something, because it wasn't proper in that moment." **_

_**"What is so?"**_ She asked curiously.

_**"That I actually wrote a song. I mean, I have a lot of unfinished songs, but I finished writing one."**_ I finally admitted. I still wasn't sure if I should show her what I had but, after all, she seemed to be very interested about knowing this kind of things. _**"And that is what I wanted to show you."**_ I said shyly, blushing slightly and looking down. _**"I mean... You really seemed to be interested about knowing those kinds of things about me... And I need to hear some kind of opinion... Well, I didn't show anyone this song, but I thought that maybe... Well, that maybe you could be the first to hear that; if you want of course."**_ I said rambling like a jerk, feeling very awkward and stupid.

_**"Are you serious?"**_ She asked excited, so that I looked into her eyes. Apparently, her face lit up when I said so and her eyes brightened, as she was smiling widely. _**"I would love to hear that song, Dare."**_

_**"Really?"**_ I asked now smiling just as widely as her. I loved the way she seemed to be very excited and happy for this.

_**"Of course! I want to hear that, Dare! Oh my god, I can't believe I'm gonna be the first one to hear that!"**_ She jumped excited as a child and I couldn't help it but laughing softly because of her cuteness.

_**"Okay!"**_ I said still giggling as I looked for my ukulele in my backpack. When I pulled it out, Freckles looked at me frowning and amused.

_**"What is that, Darren?" **_

_**"A ukulele, duh."**_ I answered shrugging.

_**"I know what it is. I mean, how on earth can you have a ukulele in your backpack? Who does that?"**_ She asked in disbelief still amused and I chuckled.

_**"Only me, I guess?"**_ I said just as amused, shrugging.

_**"Geez, you're weird."**_ She said amused.

_**"Oh yeah, you got that right, baby."**_ I laughed softly as I started to tune the ukulele. _**"Okay, this song you're gonna listen... Well, I must to say that... Uhm..."**_ I started saying nervous as I noticed she was smiling excited and amused at the same time. I looked deeply into her beautiful eyes and I knew I needed to admit it. _**"You were my muse."**_ I admitted and she looked at me wide-eyed, puzzled. She tried to say something, but no sound came out from her mouth. _**"Actually, I wrote it as if it was you the one singing it. It's kind of weird... You were my inspiration, I always wanted to write a song inspired on you but I never dared, because I was still confused about my feelings; but once I decided to do it, it amazed me the way I could write it so fluently and easily. It never happened to me, so that's why I'm saying you're my muse. Damn, you really are."**_

_**"I... Wow, you left me speechless. I'm not sure what to say, Dare..." **_She babbled, still puzzled and I smiled widely and sweetly at her.

_**"You don't have to say anything. I just want you to listen to it, and then you can tell me what you think about it." **_I said still smiling. _**"The song is called the coolest girl."**_

I started playing the ukulele as Freckles sat on the bench cross legged, facing me to look how I played it, with a huge smile on her face. She couldn't be any cuter; she was the first person to get so excited about me playing something and it meant a lot to me. And I really wished she could like the song that I wrote for her; that I wrote as if she was the one singing it.

_All my dreams_

_I'm chasing after,_

_They don't need_

_all this laughter._

_I take a grain of salt,_

_stiff upper lip._

_It's not their fault_

_I'm not as hip._

_Wake up kid, you know you're more than this._

_I'm the smartest person_

_that I've ever met._

_So why do I allow myself to_

_possibly forget_

_There's so much I know how to do,_

_so much more than all of you._

_The only thing I wish I knew_

_was how to make them see_

_the girl that I can be._

_I am_

_the coolest girl in the whole wide world_

_I know it_

_but can't show it at all._

_I am_

_sick and tired_

_of low, not higher_

_places, where I should belong._

_Well, it's about time I proved them wrong._

_So give me a shot_

_to show what I've got!_

_I'm a helluva whole lot more_

_Than this frizzy hair,_

_these frumpy clothes I wear,_

_though I rock 'em like nobody you've seen before_

_'Cause I am_

_the coolest girl in the whole wide world_

_I know it_

_below it all._

_I am_

_done with losin',_

_on with choosin'_

_The coolest girl on the face of the planet,_

_The coolest bitch on earth, goddammit!_

_The coolest chick you've ever seen or heard!_

_So you can try to bring me down,_

_but sorry guys, I'm stickin' around!_

_I've thought about it, and I've found_

_that I am_

_the coolest girl!_

_Yeah!_

I sang all the song, making some mistakes because I still had to practice it; but singing it with a huge smile and kinda amused, looking at her sometimes to see if she was liking it or not. I thought that maybe she liked it because she was also looking at me with a huge smile, moving her shoulders to the beat of the music. When I stopped to think about it, I've never seen her dancing and I'd really love to dance with her. Well, maybe sometime I was going to invite her to dance, even if it is only the two of us. So when I finished singing the song, she was looking at me with a bright smile, apparently very excited.

_**"So?"**_ I asked shyly, looking intensely at her.

_**"I think I'm your biggest fan! Can I get an autograph? Can I get a picture with you?"**_ She asked bouncing on the bench and I burst out laughing.

_**"I can sign you an autograph, I only need a pen."**_ I answered, continuing with this kind of joke or not joke, I didn't know. I was about to put aside my ukulele but I saw that Freckles handed me a pen and I looked at her amused and amazed. _**"Alright..."**_ I said grabbing the pen, still amused. And I did it, I signed my ukulele and I handed it to her, who was now looking at me as if I were crazy. _**"Here you have. A signed ukulele for my biggest fan. With love, Darren Criss." **_

_**"Are you insane? You shouldn't have signed the ukulele! Oh my god, I feel so guilty now."**_ She said frowning, not receiving the ukulele.

_**"Come on, keep it. I want to give it to you, so then I can teach you how to play it. Please, accept my humble gift as a token of my gratitude."**_ I said smiling sweetly but she was still looking at me frowning and kind of stunned.

_**"No, I can't accept it. That thing must be very expensive and it's yours. Besides, I already told you that I gave up on learning how to play an instrument. I'm really bad, I... I can't take it, Darren."**_ She said shaking her head, frowning.

_**"Hey, first of all, what's mine is yours. And you never had me as a teacher, so before giving up on it, you should try it with me. What do you say?"**_ I asked excited, but she was still shaking her head. _**"Come on, do it for me? I'd love to teach you, I'd love to give my ukulele to you. If you accept it, I'd feel happy."**_

_**"I... Okay, but..."**_ She said receiving the ukulele shyly.

_**"But nothing! Thank you, baby, for receiving it."**_ I said smiling fondly and when she looked up to me, she smiled as well. _**"Well, about the picture... My phone has a camera, but the picture would be mine. I'll be kind of selfish here, because I'd love to have a picture with you."**_

_**"Okay, but I want to have a picture with you too! It's not fair; I am the fan here, not you."**_ She said pouting and I loved it.

_**"Hey, how inconsiderate you are! I'm your biggest fan as well!"**_ I said also pouting and she laughed.

_**"You? Fan of me? For what?" **_She asked still laughing cheerfully.

_**"Oh, because of your smartness and your beauty. And... Because you're the coolest girl, goddammit!"**_ I said smiling amused and kindly as she laughed even louder.

Oh dude, that was the laughter that I loved, so natural and real. Then I pulled out my phone and I moved closer to her, wrapping my arm around her and resting my head on hers as I focused the camera on us. I could feel how she was looking at me amused but then she wrapped her arms around my waist and the two of us looked at the camera.

_**"Cheese!"**_ The two of us exclaimed, laughing cheerfully.

As soon as I took the picture, I looked at it. It was very beautiful. The picture itself was kind of crappy, because it wasn't in focus, it was really dark and because I failed at focusing only the two of us; but it was wonderful the way the two of us seemed to be very happy. The two of us were laughing with so naturally and with such gladness that it was awesome. Fortunately, I didn't make a silly face as usual; otherwise I was going to screw it, considering how outstanding Freckles looked in it. Her eyes were really bright and small because of the way she was laughing, showing all her teeth; it was a way that her face seemed to be lit up. Man, it was sappy to say, but you really could see her soul in that picture. I was dumbfounded looking at her in the picture.

_**"Can I see it?"**_ She suddenly asked and I smiled slightly. Surely I was looking like a jerk.

_**"Yeah, sorry. I was just seeing how beautiful this picture is. I think this is our first picture together."**_ I replied handing her my phone. She saw the picture and she smiled brightly.

_**"It is." **_She said almost in a whisper.

I couldn't help it: I pounced on her to kiss this pretty girl I had in front of me, to kiss my girlfriend. She laughed in between the kiss and I laughed as well; I don't know, I was feeling like laughing because I was happy, man. I started thinking that no kiss would be like other kiss, all of them would be different and I'd never get tired of it. Yep, her lips were addictive.

_**"Totally."**_ I whispered and, once again, I didn't realize I said it loud.

_**"What?"**_ She asked chuckling.

_**"Nothing..."**_ I started saying but Freckles interrupted me.

_**"Let me guess... You were thinking about something."**_ She said with a mischievous smile.

_**"Exactly."**_ I answered also chuckling.

_**"I'd like someday to know what you think..." **_She said in a suggestive way.

_**"No way I'm telling you. I would make a fool of myself."**_ I replied amused and laughing. Then my phone buzzed and I checked it.

**From Chuck: "Hey bro, I don't want to mind your own business with your girlfriend; but remember that mom and dad will be back in a matter of hours and they won't like to find out you're not home. Get your ass over here, bro."**

**To Chuck: "Will do in a moment. I'm busy ;)"**

**From Chuck: "Yeah, your ass will be busy if you don't come over here now. As your older bro, is my duty to take care of your cute ass. Last warning."**

**To Chuck: "Such a party pooper, man!"**

I laughed when I sent the last text message and then I looked at Freckles again, but she wasn't as same as minutes ago. Now she was serious and she was seeing her phone terrified. What could have happened now?

_**"Baby?"**_ I asked gingerly and she didn't look at me, she didn't even answer. _**"Baby, can I take a look of it?"**_ I asked gingerly again.

Now I was suspecting that it was W the one who sent her a text message. Surely it was W, she only had that face whenever W sent her a new threatening message. What else could change her mood like this? Or maybe it was her father. She didn't answer, but she handed me her phone, so I took it quickly to read it. Indeed, it was from W.

**"Well, well, how interesting things are getting! The fat ass girl not only recovered her memory, but also she thinks she's someone else's girlfriend. That Criss guy is really stupid to get involved with you; ugly bitches don't have a boyfriend. Sit and enjoy how your stupid love affair falls apart. -W-" **

_**"What the fuck is this?"**_ I asked so madly.

I was really furious, not only because of the emotional tort to Freckles, but also because... How was it possible that W could be everywhere? How the hell did W know about everything, always? I looked at Freckles and she still had the same terrified face, she seemed to be deep in thought. She knew something; I knew it, I knew that face.

_**"What do you know that you aren't telling me?"**_ I asked kind of coldly, even if it wasn't my intention. I was still mad at W. She didn't look at me, but she replied.

_**"I think I know who W is, Darren." **_

_**"What the fuck?" **_I asked really aghast.


	22. The mirror

A/N: How are you guys? Surprised because I'm updating today? Well, yeah! I am! I'll tell you why... First of the reasons: I wasn't planning to update this chapter so soon and my idea was to update on Sunday, but one of you, Sarah, asked me if I could make an exception and update on Monday; so I asked to myself... Why not doing it once? It's not Monday, I know, but it's Tuesday or Wednesday in some countries. Second of the reasons: I won't be in my city this entire week and weekend and then it's Christmas and well, I wouldn't have the time to update this chapter. So this is why I'm updating today instead Saturday or Sunday. After this chapter, you'll have to wait till December 29 to read the next chapter. I'm so sorry, but I won't be able to update before that day; so I'm very sorry you'll have to wait for so long; and I'm feeling even worse because the chapter ends with my usual cliffhangers and this one… Well, this one it's not something you'll like, I guess. So well, now that I have time, I'll answer your reviews! I'll start answering the new readers of this story! :) First of all, and in general, I wanted to thank each one of you for reading this story and I hope you can keep reading it with a smile, enjoying it; I'll try my best to get it. I still can't believe that I'm getting new readers, not so many, but not for that less important for me. So, thank you a lot! It means a lot to me to know that people read my silly stuff! Like, writing never was my stuff so your words are very moving for me. Okay, okay, I'll start answering my new readers:

Victoria Paige: You hate me! Well, thanks god it's in a good way! And I feel terrible right now, because you hate me because you have to wait till next Saturday to read the next chapter and now you'll have to wait more than a week to read the next one! I think I was so inopportune! Sorry, sorry! And thank you very much for reading this story and liking it! :)

JustCallMeNicola: You're new! Your review really sounded like you really needed more and well, it made me smile! Now you're getting more and I hope you can enjoy it!

StarkidLuna: Awww thank you a lot, Starkid fellow! It's still weird for me to read that my story is brilliant and amazing, I still think (notice Darren's song, lol) that I need to improve like a lot for that my story can be called like that! Anyways, your review made me smile, so thank you for that! :)

Theaterlover13: Okay, your words made me feel moved! I mean, it's so wonderful to read that I write beautifully! I hope someday I can get better and I hope you can still like my writing! I always try to make people who read this story feel the emotions and enjoy those heartfelt speeches that they have as you said; sometimes I don't get it and I feel upset with myself thinking 'this is shit' or 'I could have written it better'; sometimes I feel like I'm writing in a very corny and cheesy way, in a very exaggerated way; and sometimes I feel satisfied with what I wrote (this is the less feeling I have, I'm very self-demanding). So yeah, thank you for saying what you said!

Now for my old and amazing readers!

alicegursk: You made me laugh! haha. 'I solemnly swear that my intentions are not good'; I mean, are good, good intentions! Will you buy a book by me? Oh my god! I think you'll be the only one who's gonna buy it and the real writers will hate me for writing such a terrible book compared to them! I'm kidding! I just prefer to write here, in this website, so everybody can read what I write for free without the need to pay for it and also because I like this, seeing every week what you think about a new chapter, talking to you all, sharing some things! See? It's cool in this way! If someone makes a serial with my fanfiction... I only hope that the person who does that changes the name of Darren Criss or the person maintains my name in anonymity. I mean, I'll die of embarrassment if Darren notices that I'm writing about him; it'd be really awkward and I wouldn't like it at all. Like... No! Wow, just thinking about it makes me feel ashamed! I prefer this to be only for fans! haha

Sarah: Sarah! See? I updated earlier than usual! But I'm afraid that you'll hate me even more after this chapter! Ouch! I'm sorry! But anyway, I hope you can enjoy it!

Kaylacriss332: haha Kayla! I know, I know! I have a serious illness called 'syndrome of cliffhangers craziness and addiction' okay, that was a terrible saying. The worst thing is that in the next chapters... all of them have cliffhangers and some of them are terrible. I think this one is pure suspense, like you'll want to know what the hell is going on. And I won't be able to update next chapter till December 29! I say in advance, I'm so very sorry and now I gotta go to find something to protect my life! Just kidding, terrible joke!

caarolineboeira1: haha I'll admit you something, I also love the way they fight! I wrote it like that because I tried to remember all those kinds of similar situations I've been through in my life (of course my situations weren't as the way I wrote in this story, but the concept of fight is there implicit). You'll think I'm crazy, but what I write is a mix of the situations in my life, situations of my friends' lives, and situations inspired by movies and music; and when I write, I picture in my mind what is happening as if I were watching a movie in my mind. Kinda crazy! About the line you chose and what you said: You can have Darren! At least you can dream about it and for those who think it's ridiculous, well, screw them! Oh Karen, Karen! haha yes, she started like a bitch, but hey! Then she said she was going to support Darren, or something like that! You said that you didn't know if you were going to be able to wait until Sunday; so maybe this is a good new that I updated earlier than usual!

Okay, that's all. But before letting you read this chapter; I want to say something else. As I already said, I won't be able to update the next chapter before December 29; so I wanted to wish you all a very Merry Christmas! Or in our case, very Merry Crissmas! I hope that Santa (let's be kids and believe it only for today) can fulfill all that you have written on your wishlist! But mostly, I hope you all can have a lovely Christmas with all your beloved ones, the most important thing. Let's forget about the presents and let's do not forget the spirit of Christmas: being more selfless, friendlier, kinder, and generally much nicer to people. Such an amazing spirit, isn't it? Okay, I just wanted to wish you that to you, my amazing readers! Now everything said, I'll let you read this unexpected new chapter! Enjoy and have a super and totally awesome week, weekend and Christmas! Lots of love! See you soon!

* * *

**Teenage Dream – Part 22 – The mirror.**

* * *

You noticed how Darren was looking at you as if you were crazy, as if you were saying nonsense things; so you started feeling insecure. Maybe you shouldn't tell him about W; after all, you weren't completely sure, it was a supposition, maybe a very certain supposition, but a supposition in the end. Maybe you shouldn't say anything, considering the way he couldn't believe you when you told him about Dean and Brian, maybe it wasn't a good idea now that things were good between you and him. But you didn't have to say anything; he only found out by himself that there was something you weren't telling him.

_**"I think I know who W is, Darren."**_ You said shyly and still insecure.

_**"What the fuck?"**_ He asked aghast and frowning. Oh, this was going to be hard, you knew it.

_**"Yes... Yes, I wanted to tell you this before but then... Well, then we argued and I thought that maybe... Maybe it was better if I didn't tell you that..."**_ You said feeling even more insecure and he was frowning more evidently.

_**"What? How could you... How could you not tell me something like this? We're together on this. I want as much as you to find out who W is, and you didn't tell me a damn shit! We agreed that we were going to say the other if someone finds out something new."**_ He reproached angry and also disappointed.

_**"Yes, I know we agreed that. That's why I told you about Brian and Dean. But you didn't believe me, so I thought that maybe it wasn't time... You know, to tell you that in that moment."**_ You said on the defensive, but not wanting to start over again another dispute.

_**"I can't believe you're telling me that. Tell me, how would you feel if suddenly I find out who W is and I don't tell you anything? Brian and Dean? That was different. Whether or not they're bad people, we know that neither of them is W; they could be allies, but not the leaders. This that you supposedly found out about W? That is something that you should've told me in first place. When were you going to tell me if I wouldn't have read that text message? When? You want me and Jen to help you, and we're willing to do that; but how can you expect us to help you if you don't tell us what is happening? Sometimes... Sometimes I just can't understand you! At times you make my blood boil!"**_ Darren exclaimed kind of mad and exasperated and you felt really hurt at his rough words. You only looked at him baffled and distressed.

_**"I'm sorry; I've never had the intention of doing that to you."**_ You said looking down, still feeling distressed. _**"You have to understand that I never asked for your help; if you stop to think about it, actually I tried to convince you not to help me. And this I'm saying doesn't mean that I'm reproaching you something. I never asked for your help, but I'm really glad and grateful for your help."**_ You said with bated breath and shyly, still looking down. _**"Please, don't make me feel guiltier than I already am for involving you on this, because I can't avoid feeling that all the bad things that come to happen to you, is my entire fault. So if sometimes I don't tell you certain things, is not because I don't want to tell you because of selfishness, but because I don't want to involve you on this way too much, because I wouldn't forgive myself if something really bad comes to happen to you because of my fault once again. I know that a lot of bad things happened to you since you started talking to me; so I'm aware that it is my fault, but I play fool, not because I don't care about it, but because I still don't know how to stop it, because this goes out of my control. Please forgive me, I'm trying."**_ You said with teary voice and you couldn't avoid breaking into tears.

There was no worse feeling than guilt. You didn't want him to see you crying once again; he already saw you crying several times and you hated it; so you turned around and covered your face, trying to calm down. You heard how Darren, behind you, sighed and then you felt the warmth of his body near you. He hesitated a few seconds before he stood up behind you and held you in his arms, caressing your shoulders very smoothly. But you still were covering your face, you really needed to control your feelings, you just couldn't cry all the time because you didn't even like it.

_**"You must understand and believe that nothing is your fault, Freckles."**_ Darren whispered, resting his chin on your shoulder, still holding you in his arms. _**"If something bad comes to happen to me is because this is what I've chosen. I knew what kind of shitty things could happen to me before getting involved on this, but I took a chance because you are more important to me than any other crap thing that could happen to me. I won't deny that at first I wasn't so sure; but as time went by, I figured out that I took the right decision and I'm glad for taking that decision because it got me where I am now, with you, like this. I've chosen it, Freckles; so don't carry all the responsibility. And I have it clear that the bad things aren't happening because of your fault, but because of W's fault."**_ He whispered again, softening his voice and talking in a loving way. Now you uncovered your face and stopped crying, but you still couldn't look at him and you couldn't talk; so there was a silent moment in which Darren kissed your temple. _**"I'm sorry for the way I treated you, I was just a bit nervous and scared because of what you told me. I mean... I always wanted that day to come, the day when we finally find out who W is; but I've never actually pictured it. So it took me by surprise; and yeah... even if it isn't something reliable what you know about W; I'm scared to know who that person is... I mean... After I get to know who W is... What am I gonna do? What will happen next? Should we do something or should we play fool? There are so many unanswered questions. I'm sorry; I shouldn't have projected my fears into you. Forgive me."**_ He said, nuzzling slowly his nose on your neck.

You turned your face slightly to glance at him. He was resting his chin on your shoulder, he was brushing his nose on your neck and his eyes were closed while he was hugging you tightly. You tried to reach his lips to kiss him; so you stood on tiptoe but you failed anyway; instead a kiss it was more like a very slight and swift brush of lips. But he smiled still with his eyes closed, and you thought that was the best smile on him; it was slight, but it was full of kindness and affection. He slowly opened his eyes and his long eyelashes and deep hazel eyes captivated you. You never saw his eyes as close as this moment. Wow, he was beautiful, now more than ever. How on earth could a guy like him be interested on you? You were really lost in his eyes.

_**"You're so handsome."**_ You said in a whisper, besotted. You really didn't want to say it loud, stupid you. Of course he was now looking at you amused, with that saucy smile, frowning slightly.

_**"Do you really think I'm handsome**_?" He asked with a seductive look and an alluring smile.

_**"I... What... I tried... Well..."**_ You stammered like a real idiot, blushing hard and this only increased Darren's amusement. You had to take a deep breath before talking again. _**"Well, I think every girl finds you attractive." **_

_**"I don't care of what other girls think. I want to know if you, and only you, find me attractive."**_ He insisted, looking intensely into your eyes, still with the seductive look.

_**"Well yeah..."**_ You whispered, looking down because of your shame. _**"Yes, of course I do."**_

_**"Alright..."**_ He said and then he lifted up your chin; so, inevitably, you were looking into his eyes again. _**"Now I want you to tell me that while looking at me in the eye; otherwise, I'd think you're lying to me for pity."**_ He said with the saucy smile and you giggled shyly. This was very weird; you've never admitted someone on the face that was handsome.

_**"Of course I'm not lying. You're handsome."**_ You said shyly but looking into his eyes and he smiled widely, now not in a saucy way, but in a fondly way.

_**"I think you are pretty and sexy."**_ He said smiling and piercing you with his fervent look. You couldn't help it but laughing nervously and in a very silly way.

_**"Me? Sexy? Please, you gotta be kidding me."**_ You laughed, but he was still looking at you in the same way.

_**"No, I'm not kidding. You're sexy, very sexy. And I'm happy that you show your sexy side only with me; otherwise, other guys wouldn't take their eyes off you and I'd kill them for that." **_He said still looking at you fervently. Oh that look was making you feel a bit uncomfortable; duh, no one ever looked at you like that. _**"Oh, I'm a jealous guy, by the way. I really hate when someone glances at you furtively, I get jealous whenever a guy stands very close to you. Man, I hated Chuck when I saw him fooling around you." **_He said serious and frowning and you burst out laughing.

_**"Are you serious Darren?"**_ You said still laughing.

_**"Yes, I'm very serious. You'll have to stand my insane jealousy." **_He said raising his eyebrows, still looking at you serious and you grinned amused.

_**"Well, so then you'll have to stand my jealousy as well."**_ You said shrugging.

You still didn't know if you were a jealous girl or not, because you never experienced having a boyfriend before; but the truth was that you wouldn't like to see a girl fooling around him, so maybe you were also a jealous person. Darren placed his hands on your hips to turn you around, so now you were facing. But instead taking his hands off your hips, he placed them more firmly and he pulled you closer to him, now your tummies were brushing slightly and you felt a ticklish that made you giggle. You wrapped your arms around his neck and he rested his forehead on yours, to smile in front of your lips, but without kissing you. It was fine that he didn't kiss you; it was something weird, it was as if he was kissing you but without doing it physically. Can things like that happen actually? You stayed like this for a long time, only staring into each other's eyes and smiling in front of each other's lips; feeling and hearing his breathe, smelling his aroma, feeling his soft skin, staring every feature of his face; admiring his hazel eyes and his long eyelashes, what you loved most about him besides his entire personality.

_**"Baby... Can you tell me what you've found about W?"**_ He asked after a long time.

You looked down to avoid his gaze. You knew you should tell him, it was what he deserved to know; but you didn't know how he was going to take it. Maybe the best was going to be if you tell him once and for all, without preamble.

_**"I think that W is Susan, your friend's friend."**_ You said very low, still looking down and not wanting to see what kind of expression he had on his face.

_**"How come?"**_ He asked a bit incredulous.

You looked away and sighed. This was going to be definitely hard. You really didn't want to try to convince him as before, because now you knew how it would end up. Anyway, you explained him the reasons. You explained him all the connections you could notice between W and Susan; the way she called you in the same way than W; the way she seemed to be very interested in knowing if you were his girlfriend or not and the text message that said something related to it; the explanation because she knew a lot about Darren thanks to her friend Karen who surely was manipulated by Susan; you explained him the archly way she talked to you, the same archly way that W treated you. Summing up, you told him all your suspicions. Darren didn't interrupt you, he only listened to you very intently, with a blankly expression: he wasn't believing you but he didn't want to tell you that.

_**"Well, I do think that we cannot assume this as certain and irrefutable. It's only based on your suppositions and it's tied to your subjectivity. We should investigate more about this to figure out if this is in fact like this or not; because I won't deny that the similarities are obvious and many; but... Susan? This is the first time you've seen Susan. How come she can be W if she also didn't know you before today? Maybe she could be an ally too, but I don't think she is W. W is a person who knows you a lot and has some personal issues with you. For me, W is someone else, don't know who yet."**_ He answered and you just looked away, knowing that he was just saying it because he couldn't believe you, but you wouldn't argue about this, not again.

_**"Yes, maybe."**_ You answered in a whisper, not being completely honest but only not to start the same dispute for the same reasons.

_**"Baby, I believe you; I really do."**_ Darren said holding your hands and you glanced at him furtively. _**"I'm just only saying that we should get more clues to prove if in fact it's what you're saying; only not to screw it. We wouldn't like to be ambushed by W again, would we?" **_He asked and you shook your head, still looking down. _**"Can we do that then?"**_ He asked and you nodded in silence. _**"Baby, please, look at me." **_He almost begged and you looked at him blankly. _**"I do believe you."**_

_**"Okay."**_ You answered and looked down again.

He let out your hands and you glanced at him furtively to see that now he was running his fingers through his hair, biting his lower lip and looking away and then he looked at you over again, but you looked down again.

_**"This is not gonna work like this."**_ He finally said, now more distant from you. Those words made you feel terrible. _**"I want you to believe me that when I say that we should investigate more about Susan is not because I don't believe what you said, is because I want to be sure about it. This is not a game in which if we make a mistake it doesn't matter because you can play it again, you can try again. This is about finding out who the person who harasses us is; we need to be sure of everything. You found out something very important about W; well, what I'm saying is, let's start from there; let's see if W is Susan or not. Can you see my point?"**_ He asked looking at you frowning and a bit anguished; this time you looked at him for a long time.

_**"Yes, I can. Maybe you're right; maybe we shouldn't rush into this. I guess we'll have to sit and wait to see what happens..."**_ You answered shrugging and Darren walked closer to you.

_**"No, we must not do that. We need to start doing something, only that way we'll get real proofs. Let's investigate, let's research, and let's be keener of every odd situation we see or hear. But most importantly, let's be together on this. I propose that from now on we trust each other, we believe in what the other says; which doesn't mean that we must agree on everything or take it as certain. I insist, we shouldn't let W do us part. So... Do you think we can do that? If you want to do this in some other way, I'm listening to you. We don't have to do what I say, you know that."**_ Darren said firmly looking deeply into your eyes and you only smiled faintly. Well, he could convince you of doing whatever he wanted; you didn't know how he always managed to do that.

_**"No, I think we should do what you said. Maybe I've overreacted when I said all of that about Susan. I was scared, just that." **_You said this time honestly. Maybe your fears didn't let you see things properly.

_**"I know we'll find who W is and I'll kick that person's ass for messing with my girlfriend."**_ He said smiling widely and warmly before he hugged you tightly, a warm and cozy hug.

* * *

We came back home with our bikes slowly, because even though we should hurry because my parents would arrive any soon, I wanted this bike ride to last more. We barely could enjoy it and it was unbelievable how fast the afternoon passed by. It was already 7pm and it was starting to get dark. This was a weird afternoon, one of the weirdest ones: the bike ride, the talk to Karen, the dispute with Freckles, our ups and downs along all day long, and all that Freckles told me about W: about Susan, Dean and Brian. I tried hard to believe her but it was almost impossible; not because I didn't trust her but because this was too odd. But I wouldn't tell her this, because thanks to that I almost lose her and I felt terrible; no, I wouldn't risk my new relationship with the girl of my dreams.

_**"Darren, for fuck's sake! I texted you two hours ago! I made it clear: Get your ass over here now! What the hell do you mean by the word now?"**_ Chuck asked accelerated and hysterical when Freckles and I arrived home. Oh great, now I was going to stand Chuck playing to be like dad as he always did when he was in charge of me.

_**"Sorry I couldn't make it in time."**_ I answered while parking my bike.

_**"The fact you have a girlfriend now, doesn't mean that you can do whatever you want, Darren." **_Chuck scolded me and I looked at him annoyed, really annoyed.

_**"You're not dad, Charles." **_I replied curtly.

_**"But I'm your older brother and I'm in charge of you. So, whenever dad and mom aren't here, you have to obey me."**_ Chuck said firmly and bossy and it irritated me. Man, he was only two years older than me.

_**"Oh man... Sometimes I really wish you could be at Trinity College-Hartford, where you should be now."**_ I said really upset.

I didn't realize I totally screwed it. Chuck was now looking down, biting his lower lip, frowning and a bit distressed. Freckles was only looking at us in silence so she noticed the sudden change of mood of Chuck, and she frowned slightly, confused. Well, she didn't know what it meant, so it was normal that she was confused. I felt like a real asshole.

_**"I'm sorry, bro. I was just upset, I didn't mean that."**_ I apologized.

_**"It's alright; you said nothing but the truth."**_ He answered looking away. _**"Whatever, mom and dad aren't here yet, but you have visitors inside."**_ He said before turning around to leave. Fuck, I felt really bad.

_**"What was that, Darren?"**_ Freckles suddenly asked.

_**"Nothing, just a family thing."**_ I answered still feeling bad for what I said.

_**"Oh, okay. I get it."**_ Freckles simply answered and she parked Chuck's bike, as if she wanted to respect me.

_**"Last year Chuck started college; he decided to study music at Trinity College."**_ I started telling Freckles. I knew she wanted to know but she was just too respectful to ask when it wasn't something of her business. And I wanted to share things with her. _**"He was doing really fine; he was one of the best students. You should hear Chuck singing and playing. He's really good."**_ I said and I noticed how Freckles was listening to me very intently. _**"The point is that he had a girlfriend and he was really in love with that girl. They dated for more than three years and when they started college, they forcedly had to go different ways. They kept having the long-distance relationship and everything was going well until one day he went to visit her in Chicago. It was a surprise, she didn't know that. She had a lover there. Chuck found her with that guy in a very compromising situation. Since that time, Chuck was a big mess and everything in college started going wrong; he had to leave Hartford and come back to San Francisco because he couldn't get better. So that's why this year he's here, he's taking a free year to start college again, this time to do it well. He's fine now, but he was a real mess." **_

_**"That's really awful. Poor Chuck."**_ Freckles said anguished, frowning. Aww, it was so cute the way she could put herself in someone else's shoes so easily.

_**"Yes, it is. But it's in the past; fortunately he overcame it. Still, I screwed it when I said that to him minutes ago."**_ I said looking down, feeling angry with myself. _**"Oh my god, I'm a terrible person. How could I say that? Stupid me." **_

_**"Dare... You know you aren't a terrible person. You weren't thinking what you said, you were just annoyed. We all say things we don't mean while we're upset, I guess Chuck got it. You know, your brother is a very accessible person and he's mature, surely he also has been in situations like yours; after all, you and he aren't so different."**_ Freckles said softly, with a kind smile on her face, trying to cheer me up. _**"He is your brother; brothers always are like this. You only should talk to him and apologize; you don't get anything by cursing at yourself for a mistake you've made."**_

_**"Yeah, but still, I feel bad."**_ I replied looking away. Yes, it was accurate what she was saying, but it didn't mean I was feeling any better.

_**"I know and it's normal to feel bad whenever we make a mistake. It's part of our learning."**_ She said wisely, shrugging. I could never stop feeling amazed whenever she talked in a wise way, as if she was an expert; and she was one year younger than me. How come? _**"But your brother taught me something: we need to learn how to find a new perspective of things; sometimes things aren't as we think, sometimes they can be taken in another way; it's up to us. I'm not gonna tell you in which way you should take this, because it must be your point of view; but I can tell you that when you get it, you'll be able to apologize; to really apologize to someone. Because it's easy to say forgive me or I forgive you; what it's not easy is to really mean it. Take your time to apologize; sometimes is better to take a time to do so than to apologize as soon as we make the mistake. Your brother will understand it, I'm sure."**_

_**"Why are you so inspiring all the time?"**_ I asked dumbfounded, looking at her like a fool.

_**"Am I?"**_ She asked giggling softly. Not only she was inspiring, she was the most humble person ever, so far from being smug even though she had reasons to be like that because of her smartness.

_**"You are."**_ I replied looking at her goofily, admiring the hell damn of amazing person I had as a girlfriend.

_**"Alright, if you say so..."**_ She answered smiling in a silly way, blushing and looking down. _**"Come on, let's get in; Chuck said you have visitors." **_She said cheerfully, feinting to enter the house; but I grabbed her hand quickly.

_**"Hold on."**_ I said quickly and she looked at me. I smiled lovingly at her. _**"I love you."**_ I said looking into her eyes and she smiled widely as her face lit up.

_**"I love you too."**_ She answered shyly and then she pecked my lips. I loved every time she did that.

_**"Okay, now I can get in."**_ I said while I intertwined my fingers with hers, to walk into the house holding hands with my new girlfriend. Life is wonderful, I thought.

* * *

You never expected that the visitor would be Amanda and it was only to see you.

_**"I told you I was going to come often to visit you, sis."**_ She said cheerfully at some point, pulling you into a hug.

She has been waiting for you for more than an hour but she didn't want to leave until she could see you, it seemed she had something to tell you, but she didn't mention anything because you were in the living room with Darren, Chuck and Jen. When you entered the house, holding hands with Darren, she noticed it and you felt very nervous. You still haven't told your sister you were now Darren's girlfriend. You really didn't want her to find this out this way, you wanted to talk to her about this; because, after all, she also had feelings for Darren and this whole situation didn't feel right. You thought that after she noticed this gesture, she was going to feel down and look away; but instead, she saw your hands and then she looked up at you and Darren with a huge smile on her face. You couldn't get it, but it felt good.

_**"I'm so happy for you two."**_ Was the only she said cheerfully, without the need to clear to her that you and Darren were a couple now.

That was weird, but she really seemed to be happy; she seemed to support this. Yes, Darren told you that he has talked to her about you and him; but you never thought that she could actually be happy for this, considering she still had feelings for Darren. You felt kinda bad about it, but Darren was the guy you've always dreamed of, so you really wanted to be with him.

_**"I thought that mom and dad were going to be here soon. It's been more than two hours."**_ Darren said at one point, when all of you were just chilling in the living room, talking about everything.

_**"Yeah, I don't know what happened to them. I guess soon they'll arrive."**_ Chuck said shrugging.

_**"It's weird; they always let us know when they're late."**_ Darren said frowning, more like in a whisper and thoughtful.

But the topic of conversation changed roundly when Mandy mentioned something that has happened to her in one of her trips. Still, you could notice how Darren was still thoughtful, thinking about what he recently said. You didn't know if it was weird or not, but Darren's face was concerning you. What would he be thinking?

_**"Sister, are you here?"**_ Mandy suddenly asked giggling. You were very thoughtful that you forgot where you were. She was looking at you as everybody else in the room. _**"You seem to be anywhere else but not here."**_

_**"Sorry, I was thinking..."**_ You apologized ashamed.

_**"It's alright. I was just asking you if we could talk. I have something to tell you, in private."**_ Mandy said and you nodded.

_**"Yes, we can. I don't know... We can go outside?"**_ You asked her; but also glancing at Darren, to ask for his permission. He noticed it.

_**"Baby, this is your home now. Feel free to do what you want, when you want." **_He said smiling warmly and you smiled back at him.

_**"Thanks."**_ You said and Darren smiled before kissing slightly your lips.

Oh well, that was kind of uncomfortable. Not that you felt uncomfortable when Darren kissed you, but the whole situation was uncomfortable. Not only Chuck and Jen saw you, but also your sister. As a reflex, the first you did was to look at Mandy. She looked down, feeling nervous; but then she looked up again and smiled. You knew what she was feeling because it was the same you did when you saw Darren and Mandy walking together when you all went to the beach. She was feeling sad, but trying to feel happy for you two. This was going to be hard, not because she was going to do something to separate you, but because you didn't know if you could handle seeing your sister sad now that you were fine. You walked to the yard with your sister and the two of you sat on the grass. What would she want to tell you? You didn't know, because she didn't speak for a while.

_**"I miss you being at home."**_ She finally said and you looked at her bewildered. You never expected her to say that; but she said it with honesty. _**"If you could see, everything is different since you left."**_

_**"Since I was kicked out, Mandy."**_ You corrected her and your sister looked down, anguished.

_**"Yeah, I can't believe he could have done such a thing."**_ She said in a whisper and now you also looked down.

_**"Yes, you can. He's never been so supportive and he barely knows how to treat his own daughters. You've been there too, only that he didn't go far to the point to kick you out. He has a mental disorder and should be treated with a psychiatrist. Mom has tried it, but it didn't work."**_ You answered feeling bad for saying that, but it was the cruel truth.

_**"You were so little, how could you get all of those things at your age that time?" **_She asked distressed.

_**"Mandy... It was obvious, everybody could see that. I was little, yes, but I knew something weird and bad was happening all the times you took me with you to your bedroom, with loud music and to play with our dolls; to distract me and to not to hear their disputes. I appreciate that, but anyway I could notice it. You were so little as well, Mandy; you're only one year older than me."**_ You answered gloomy remembering all those dark times. _**"But I really found out what was happening after years; only that I didn't want to see it. Just like you." **_

_**"Yes, I wonder why he would have mental disorder." **_Mandy admitted it for the first time.

_**"Our grandpa, Mandy. He was out of himself; you know it; you also saw what happened with our grandma." **_

_**"That's right, I'd never forget the time we lived with her. It was awful, I was always wondering why we had to go through that while the other kids were living happy with their moms and dads."**_ Mandy said with such distress that you let out a tear. Yes, you always wondered the same. _**"I need you in home, sis. I can't stand living with dad alone. I know we barely talked before, but yet I felt good when you were around, even if I denied it always. Please, come back."**_

_**"You know I won't, you also wouldn't do it. He's the one who kicked me out, I didn't want to leave home; so he's the one who should come to apologize and ask me to come back."**_ You answered coldly, but only because you were trying hard to hold back your tears. After you said that, there was an intense silence. _**"Does he ever ask for me?"**_ You asked with teary voice, you really wanted to know it because after all he was your dad. And over again, there was a silence for a long time.

_**"No."**_ Mandy answered uncomfortable and anguished and you looked down, wanting to cry but holding back your tears. _**"I'm sorry. He never asked for you. I'm sorry."**_

_**"Don't be sorry, not your fault."**_ You answered breathlessly, with teary voice.

And then you felt how your sister pulled you into a tight and warm hug. You couldn't hold back your tears any longer, not after that hug. It was your family, and your family was fading away; your own father didn't care about you, he didn't even think about you, not even once. Not matter how much you wanted to seem strong about this situation; it was your dad and it hurt, you wanted to see him again; you wanted everything to be fine with him.

_**"I feel so bad for you, because you don't deserve this."**_ Your sister whispered while still hugging you.

_**"Maybe I do deserve this."**_ You answered breathlessly again.

_**"No, you don't. This is very unfair. I can't get why he would kick out someone like you. I can't get why he doesn't care about you if you were always the one who tried to reach his heart, you were the only one who always cared about him and now he's doing this, as if nothing matters! How come?"**_ Your sister exclaimed troubled and desperate and you cried even more. _**"I promise that I'll never do something like that to you. You can count on me and fortunately you also have Darren who loves you; he's gonna support you always. That's the only reason that can make me feel better, because I know you're in good hands."**_ You sister said now looking at you with teary eyes and you smiled at her.

_**"Thanks for being here with me, as the old times."**_ You said softly. _**"Mandy... What about mom? Does she know about this?" **_

_**"No, she doesn't know yet; I didn't want to worry her. She's coming back this week and she's gonna get mad at dad. I hope she can fix this situation."**_ Mandy said looking down and you looked away.

_**"Please Mandy, don't tell mom where I am. I don't want to cause more troubles in home. If she's really worried, let me know and I'm gonna come back. I don't want mom to think that the Criss family are bad people for taking me to their home and for preventing me of being at home; I know she's gonna think that." **_You said concerned because you knew that your mother tended to overreact and overthink things.

_**"I won't tell her, promise."**_ Mandy said smiling slightly. _**"But someday you'll have to tell her, I mean, she needs to know what dad has done and how kind the Criss family is for accommodating you here, in their home."**_

_**"I know. I'm still trying to find the way to thank them all they're doing for me. Sometimes I think I don't thank the enough; I don't thank them, I don't thank you, I don't thank Jen and all the people who are always there or who try to help me. But I'm very thankful, I really am."**_ You said with teary voice again.

_**"And we know that. Sometimes you don't have to say the word thanks to show someone that you're thankful. You show it with your actions. People, who know you, know that you're like this and we love that of you. You should stop feeling bad when people help you; if they do it, is because they want to and they care about it, they aren't expecting anything in return; all you do to thank them is enough, trust me." **_Your sister told you, looking fixedly into your eyes.

_**"I don't do anything; I don't know why you're saying that."**_ You answered shyly, frowning and looking down.

_**"You do a lot. Maybe you don't realize it, but there's something in you, something that is like a charm. Only with your smile and your self-effacement and gentleness, you can turn the entire world; you make people feel good and it's weird. Do not ever lose that virtue of yours."**_ She smiled kindly and you felt moved. _**"I do think that's why Darren loves you so much, because you inspire people and you're so humble that you can't see that. You inspired him, you touched his heart."**_ She said still smiling and you looked away, feeling very shy and, therefore, blushing. You couldn't say anything because you didn't know what to say; it was weird hearing your sister talking about Darren. _**"You two make a lovely couple. I demand to be the bridesmaid at your wedding."**_ She said chuckling and you giggled softly, still looking down.

_**"I think that's not gonna happen any soon."**_ You answered with an amused smile. She was trying to cheer you up and you appreciated it, more if it was from Mandy.

_**"You never know."**_ She said shrugging and still giggling. _**"That guy won't let you go, everybody can see that if you only stop to see the way he looks at you."**_ She winked and you looked at her incredulous, but amused. _**"And he has got a good ass."**_

_**"Amanda!"**_ You exclaimed in disbelief but amused. _**"But you're right about it. He's got a really good ass." **_You laughed and she laughed along with you.

_**"Now seriously talking... I'm glad you finally found the right guy for you. I always thought that no one would be good enough for you, but this Criss guy could be. I'll have to check his attitudes all the time to prove if I'm right or wrong." **_She said as a controlling person and then she chuckled. Yes, this was the sister you once had; the real Amanda. It was really good to have her back.

* * *

_**"What is Amanda doing here?"**_ I asked suspiciously once that Freckles and Amanda went outside.

_**"I don't know, man. She came to visit her sister, is normal, isn't it?"**_ Chuck answered indifferent, shrugging and eating a cookie. He was being kind of distant with me, I could notice it; but I couldn't blame him because it was my fault.

_**"Listen... I'm really sorry, Chuck. I wasn't thinking..."**_ I started saying shyly but he interrupted me.

_**"Stop it, Darren. I don't want to ruin this night."**_ He said roundly and I looked down. Yes, definitely it was a hard to apologize to someone and more if it was a loved one.

_**"Chuck, please..."**_ I started begging.

_**"I said stop, Darren! Goddammit!"**_ He said almost yelling, irritated.

_**"I think I'm gonna make a coffee..."**_ Jen said when she realized there was happening something unusual.

She only stood up and left the living room in silence. Neither I nor Chuck talked for a long time. He was trying to get entertained with a cushion and I was only looking at him, not knowing how to apologize. I really hated whenever Chuck and I were mad at each other, whenever we were distant or we had a dispute; because Chuck was my only brother and he meant a lot to me. I looked at him and he was still avoiding my gaze. Whoa, Freckles was right; it was hard to apologize to someone, but I was really feeling like doing so.

_**"Chuck..."**_ I started saying shyly.

_**"Shut up, Darren."**_ He said curtly and I stopped talking. Damn, he was always the stronger one. But I took the courage to keep talking.

_**"No, listen to me."**_ I said determined and he looked at me amazed. Yeah, I never talked to him so determined after he shut me up. _**"I was a dick and I'm really sorry for that. Lately I've been very touchy and for some reason I'm moody all the time. Most of the things I say aren't intentional, I just say it without thinking and most of the times are just untrue things. You know, a lot of things are happening to me lately; good and bad things, so I'm just a bit unbalanced. What I said earlier about you, it isn't like that."**_ I said honestly, feeling nervous but sure of saying all of this. Chuck was looking away, but listening to me in silence. _**"Bro, I've been there when you had to go through that shit; I know perfectly why you're here and I do understand it. If it ever comes to happen to me with Freckles; I don't know if I'd be able to be like you're now; surely I'd be lying on my bed all the time, despondent and not trying at all to overcome it. But you did, and I know you're trying hard; I know that what happened to you is hard. And you are like... you're like my role model; I admire you and I'm always trying to be like you. I always wanted to be like you. So what I said earlier is because I was upset in that moment, and also because sometimes I'm jealous of you, because I'd like to be like you and I can't. I know I shouldn't be jealous of you because it's not nice, but it's because you're like my hero. I'm sorry Chuck, I really am. I don't like to be at odds with you. Please, forgive me for my stupidity." **_I finally apologized heartily, looking at him with a hint of guiltiness and contrition but also with expectation to get his forgiveness.

_**"All that you've said is utterly stupid."**_ Chuck answered roundly and it was as if a bucket of cold water fell on my body. My expectation turned into disappointment, more like hopelessness.

_**"Chuck, I'm just trying to apologize because I'm regretted."**_ I said very low, looking at my lap and feeling kind of intimidated.

_**"Yeah, I'm your brother and I know you since you've born, so I can tell what you mean and what not." **_He replied and I just remained looking at my lap, feeling bad. This was being very hard; I thought he was going to forgive me. _**"As your brother, I'm telling you that what you recently said is completely stupid."**_ He said roughly and I didn't know anymore how to manage this. _**"First of all... How the hell can you think that Freckles would do something like that to you?"**_ He asked in disbelief and I finally looked up at him, astonished. Oh well, I wasn't expecting that kind of answer or question. _**"She's the nicest girl I've met and she's so hooked up with you, Darren. For what I know about her so far, she would never hurt someone in the way Madeline hurt me. Your girlfriend is a quite good person; I hope you never let her go." **_

_**"I won't."**_ I answered with a faintly smile, still feeling bad but now a bit better. Anyway, I was still confused about his point.

_**"Good."**_ Chuck answered with a slight smile. _**"Then... How would you think you're stupid? I'm sick of you calling yourself stupid. You are not. I totally got that you said it because you were upset in that moment; I know it because it always happened to me whenever mom interrupted me when I was with Madeline. And I know you didn't mean it because I know you bro, and I know how you always tried to cheer me up on your own way; inviting me to play songs with you, inviting me to fool around, making pranks and jokes, teasing me all the time to get distracted."**_ He said softening his voice and I looked at him in silence, with a half-smile.

_**"Have you noticed it? Cheering people up never was my strong point; I just couldn't see you like that."**_ I admitted shyly.

_**"Of course I've noticed it. I do think that cheering people up is your strong point, is only that you don't do it in the conventional way. Sometimes is better the way you do because sometimes you just need to get distracted, sometimes you don't want to talk about it. So, thanks, bro."**_ Chuck said softly, looking at me with a friendly smile and I just smiled back. Chuck was like me, he wouldn't talk so easily about those feelings, so this was really a good thing. _**"But the most stupid thing you've said... How the fuck would you want to be like me? Seriously, Darren?" **_

_**"Yeah, seriously."**_ I answered now feeling abashed by the way he asked that.

_**"See, that's stupid. You're not stupid, that way of thinking is stupid. I mean, Darren... You're just awesome the way you are; you cannot be the copy of someone. What I always liked about you, when you were younger, is that you never tried to be someone else; you were yourself." **_Chuck said serious and I just felt so abashed that I looked at my lap as I remembered all the crappy things that happened to me in elementary school for being myself.

_**"Yeah, and both you and I know how it ended."**_ I said very low, touching my knees because I didn't know what else to do not to start feeling very sensitive as I've been feeling lately.

_**"That was years ago, you were little and you didn't know how to defend yourself; you didn't know how to deal with tough situations. And those kids were really mean, they were only kids."**_ Chuck said but I didn't look up at him.

_**"There are still people like that, Chuck. I'm not that strong yet to deal with people's verbal cruelty. I just... I don't think I've overcame what people told me when I was in elementary school."**_ I said feeling very ashamed because I've never admitted this to anybody. Chuck stayed silent for a while.

_**"You know? You only have to look at your girlfriend. She's not like other people because she's herself and she's happy being like that. And I do know that people treat her in a shitty way, I do know that she's discriminated every day of her life because she's not like them, I do know that she feels down so often and sometimes is insufferable for her to keep going on her own way. But she's still there, tripping and stumbling, but acting as herself, surrounded by people who truly love her the way she is. You only have to look at her and ask to yourself... If she can be happy being herself, why wouldn't I? She's the living proof that being yourself is the best way; you have her, bro."**_ Chuck said kindly and I finally looked at him, a bit sad because I didn't know if I could do it, but also a bit hopeful because he was right. _**"Why do you love her?"**_

_**"Yeah, because of the way she is; because she's herself and she's just... perfect, even with her weakness. I know I have the best example as my girlfriend about this; is that why I admire her so much. I can't do the same she does, I could never do it."**_ I said looking away and biting my lower lip, I really didn't want to disappoint my brother.

_**"You can. I don't know if you're aware of what she's doing to you, she's changing you for the better. Now you're different, you're happier, you're more self-confident, you aren't ashamed of all the silly things you do, you even started composing songs again!"**_ Chuck exclaimed excited and I started babbling, astonished and frowning because... How would he know it? He noticed my face and he knew what I was about to ask, so he came forward with the answer. _**"Your bedroom is next to mine, Darren; and you were most of the time locked in your bedroom when you weren't with Freckles. I was intrigued so I had no options, I spied you. The point is... If Freckles has changed a lot of things of you for the better, I know she's gonna help you to be yourself in public and, when you less notice, you're just gonna be acting like you really are."**_

_**"I don't know... She'd have to try hard to get it, she has a hard work to do to fix that; and I don't want to force her or anything."**_ I said unsure, looking away. _**"I don't want her to feel pity for me."**_

_**"Well, she's not gonna try anything, as she's never tried to change you. It just happened. It'll flow naturally, neither you nor she would realize that she's gonna show you the way to be yourself. People outside would notice it."**_ He said and I just kept looking away, feeling very unsure; it was like a remote possibility. _**"Hey bro, don't be afraid. This is your time, dare to enjoy it. And do not ever try to be like me; that is absurd. More than a hero, I'm like the disastrous old brother."**_ He said laughing and I giggled softly.

_**"You're totally not."**_ I assured honestly. _**"You're like Superman and that's a lot to say."**_ I said with a nice smile and he shook his head amused. _**"So... Do you forgive me?"**_

_**"Stupid brother!"**_ Chuck yelled amused and threw me a cushion right on my face. _**"You don't have to apologize, I got you." **_

_**"Fine! Thanks!"**_ I giggled throwing him the same cushion.

That's what I loved about Chuck, the way he always had the right words to tell me, the way he also couldn't be mad at me for so long. Yeah, he was my awesome brother.

_**"Guys?"**_ I heard a voice. Mandy. _**"I just wanted to greet you, I have to come back home soon."**_

_**"Oh, alright..."**_ I answered softly and there was a long and a bit uncomfortable silence for a while. Chuck looked at me like in a 'Darren, be a gentleman' way. _**"Oh... Do you want me to take you home or something?"**_

_**"Oh no, not at all. I brought my car. I just... I need someone to open me the door." **_She answered shyly.

She was being like the Mandy I knew when we were outside school. Could possibly Freckles has changed her for the better like she has done to me?

_**"Oh yeah, sure. I'll go."**_ I answered quickly, standing up and walking to the door as Mandy followed me.

I saw how Chuck disappeared to the kitchen, where Jen was. Lately, they've spent a lot, like a lot time together; I thought suspiciously. No, it wasn't possible; they were like a brother and a sister. But it was weird...

_**"Thanks."**_ Mandy said softly when I opened the door and my mind focused on the situation again. _**"My sister told me that she was going to be in her bedroom, she wanted to take a shower." **_

_**"Oh okay. Thanks for telling me."**_ I answered smiling slightly and she smiled faintly. _**"It was good to see you getting along with Freckles." **_

_**"Freckles... I like the way you call her."**_ Mandy said giggling softly and I smiled amused. I was so used to call her that way that I never thought it could sound weird for other people. _**"And yes, I think I'll be here more often because of my sister, until things get better in home so she can come back. If you don't mind, of course." **_

_**"No, of course I don't mind. You're her sister; feel free to come over here whenever you want. I know that Freckles would like it."**_ I answered gently.

_**"I hope so; I hope we can catch up."**_ She answered smiling. She was being gentle and polite. This was good to see. _**"So...Uhm... I guess..."**_ She started stammering nervously.

_**"Yeah, I guess I'll see you around."**_ I answered quickly when I noticed she didn't know how to say bye. I had to admit that it was kinda weird to be talking to her in a friendly way after all the things that happened between us.

_**"Yes, that. I'll see you around, Darren."**_ She answered more firmly now. So then I was about to close the door when she turned around, but then she looked at me again in a weird way._** "Hey Darren, one last thing..."**_

_**"Yeah?"**_ I asked suspiciously because she was looking at me in a weird way.

_**"You seem a cool guy and it seems you love my sister... But if you ever hurt her..."**_ She started saying almost threateningly and I chuckled softly because I knew what she was going to say.

_**"You're gonna kick my ass. I know, you already told me." **_I said amused but she kept looking at me in the same way.

_**"Yeah, that. So be careful of what you do, Criss. I'll be controlling you, to see if everything goes right. Now, if you make her happy as you're doing now... well, you're gonna be safe and I won't let people mess with you two."**_ She said determined and I looked at her bewildered. Was this girl Mandy? She was being way too nice considering she tried to fight with her sister for me. _**"Sadly, high school is a real shit and you know how people are with my sister. Now you're gonna be treated like her, only because you're dating her. I hope you can stick with her, even when things get bad; I hope you will not fall apart from her because of this."**_ She said concerned and looking at me as if she was actually begging me something.

_**"Don't worry, I won't leave her. When I asked her to be my girlfriend, I knew what I was going to have to go through. But it's nothing because what I feel for her is stronger than any kind of aggression. I'm sure of this, Mandy. I'm sure that I want to be with her, so nobody will be able to separate us."**_ I assured her, talking to her as if nothing ever happened between her and me.

_**"I'm glad to hear that. And... You're her first boyfriend, so better if you treat her with respect. And Criss, both you and I aren't innocent... We know what happens in a loving relationship... Don't force her to do something she doesn't want, don't hurry things and take it slowly... And if for some reason it comes to happen...please use protection, use a condom, Darren and be careful and loving. Don't make it a hook up and only an arousal moment."**_ Mandy warned serious and very ease, as if it was something usual to talk about. Man, she made me feel super uncomfortable and awkward.

_**"I... Mandy... No, you don't have to warn me that... I never thought..."**_ I babbled nervously and I felt how I was blushing.

_**"Yes, you surely thought about it, Criss, don't play fool with me."**_ She said serious, but not scolding me. Of course I thought about it, I wanted my first time to be with Freckles; but not now, I respected her.

_**"Mandy... If I'm dating your sister is not because I wanted someone to hook up with. It's because I truly love her, because of the way she is. I want this to be a strong relationship; I want her to be the one and only for me. Yeah... Maybe I thought about it... But I know it's not time yet, for neither of us. I'm not that kind of guy who would turn our first time into an arousal moment." **_I answered awkwardly, blushing even more. It was very uncomfortable to talk to her about this stuff.

_**"Yeah, but you never know how much you'll carry away; and maybe she's gonna carry away too. It's normal. But keep it in mind that all of this is new for her and she needs to be treated like a princess, get it Darren? So bring with you a condom all the time. I wouldn't want to see my sister pregnant so young."**_ She warned serious again and I blushed hard, I looked at her bewildered.

_**"What? Oh my god. That's not gonna happen, Amanda. Stop talking about this, this is awkward."**_ I said roundly, feeling very uncomfortable.

_**"I don't care if this is awkward; I care most my sister's safety. It's better to prevent things in time than to regret later the bad decisions."**_ Mandy said shrugging and well, she was right this time. _**"Okay Criss, I gotta go. Remember, condom!" **_She said yelling while she was walking to her car. Fuck, why did she have to yell it?

I closed the door, still feeling awkward and I noticed that Chuck and Jen were already there, sitting on the couch and looking at me with an amused smile. Oh shit... Here we go; Darren, be prepared to be mocked...

_**"When used consistently and correctly, condoms and lubricants are an efficient way of preventing pregnancy and HIV infection, also reducing the possibility of contracting other STDs."**_ Jen said serious and I looked at her raising an eyebrow.

_**"As if I didn't know it already, Jen."**_ I answered quietly, knowing that this was only the beginning.

_**"Let's teach him how to put on a condom, so we'll be sure that he's not gonna do anything stupid."**_ Chuck said looking at Jen and I looked at him biting my lower lip.

_**"I know how to do it. I don't need your explanation."**_ I answered trying to keep calm and not to start blushing like an idiot. But he didn't listen.

_**"First, open the condom wrapper using the easy-tear edges. Do not use scissors, your teeth, or any other sharp instrument to open the condom wrapper; you may inadvertently tear the condom itself. Likewise, don't tear the wrapper open violently, even if you're desperate and very aroused. It's important."**_ Chuck said serious but a bit amused as Jen giggled when I looked at Chuck in disbelief. _**"Determine which way the condom is rolled. This can be difficult to do, particularly if you're in the dark. Instead of trying to see which way the condom is rolled, feel it with your fingers."**_ Chuck winked and so did Jen. _**"Make sure the reservoir at the tip of the condom is pointing in the right direction. Important, make sure the penis is fully erect. If rolled over a penis that is not yet fully erect, it will fit awkwardly and be more likely to fall off or tear during sex."**_ Chuck said amused because he was seeing I started blushing and I was looking at him in disbelief, very awkward. _**"Pinch the entire reservoir at the tip of the condom shut. This eliminates the possibility of creating an air pocket inside the condom when it is worn, reducing the chance of breakage and providing the semen with a place to go during ejaculation."**_ He said now almost giggling as Jen was already laughing hard because of my face. I hated Chuck so much in this moment. _**"Place the condom against the tip of the erect penis. With your other hand, push pubic hair out of the way if necessary, roll the condom slightly over the tip of the penis to get it started, then gently pull back the foreskin. Slide your first hand from the reservoir tip down to the rolled ring of the condom and roll it down the entire length of the shaft. Use one hand to hold the bottom of the condom in place at the bottom of the shaft and then push the foreskin forward inside the condom with the other hand. Smooth lubricant over the condom if necessary."**_ He said now chuckling because this was very awkward to hear; I didn't want my brother to give me sexual education. _**"Replace condom if alternating between different types of sex. If switching from anal to vaginal sex, for example, switch condoms to reduce the risk of infection."**_

_**"Alright, enough, Charles!"**_ I exclaimed desperate, feeling very ashamed and nervous. This wasn't cool to talk about with my brother and my best friend. They both laughed out loud at me.

_**"Wait, wait. There's something else, bro! An advice, find novelty condoms to play with: colored, textured, glow-in-the-dark condoms are fun and sexy; and if you're using a condom for oral sex, try flavored condoms and lubes."**_ He said still laughing and I threw him a cushion.

_**"Shut up, Charles!"**_ I yelled upset and embarrassed. _**"You both can go directly to hell, idiots!" **_

_**"Why you so mad? We just want you to enjoy the sexual intercourse safely. Consider it as a free sexual education class."**_ Jen said chuckling and Chuck wouldn't stop laughing uncontrollably.

_**"Shut. Up."**_ I said bossy, pointing at Jen serious.

_**"Oh, you should try the 69 position. Yeah, that's a good one."**_ Chuck said laughing and I looked at him in a rage.

_**"Fuck you, Charles!"**_ I yelled again.

_**"Darren? Darren, please, come over here!"**_ I heard a scream coming out from Freckles' bedroom.

_**"Huh, she was about to take a shower, she may be naked. Do you have a condom?"**_ Jen asked amused, laughing and I looked at her furious.

_**"Stop it, Jennifer."**_ I said upset and moody.

_**"Darren!"**_ Freckles yelled again and this time it sounded as if she was scared. Then I started to worry and Chuck and Jen stopped laughing to get serious.

_**"It seems is something serious. You better go, Darren."**_ Jen said serious.

_**"Yeah."**_ I said concerned and I left them.

I ran to Freckles' bedroom and I knocked the door before entering, just in case. She didn't answer, so I just opened the door slightly. She wasn't in the bedroom; her clothes were on her bed and I saw a light coming from the bathroom. Should I go there? What if she was naked as Jen said? It'd be awkward.

_**"Freckles?"**_ I asked knocking the door, but she didn't answer.

I just opened the door very slowly. There she was, wrapped only on a towel, looking herself in the mirror. I couldn't help it but looking at her from head to toe, thinking how sexy she looked like that. Fuck, Darren, stop it. She called me for a reason and it seemed to be a serious thing. I looked at her face. She was indeed scared; I walked to her very slowly and suspicious. She didn't do any kind of movement; so I just placed my hands on her shoulder. She didn't look at me.

_**"Baby, are you alright?"**_ I asked very cautiously.

_**"Darren..."**_ She said weakly, scared and with cracked voice. Her eyes filled in tears. What was going on?

_**"What, baby?"**_ I asked softly, caressing her shoulders to try to reassure her. She only pointed me the mirror, in shock. I saw it and I freaked out.

_**"What the hell is that?"**_ I asked very nervous and scared.


	23. Hide and seek

A/N: First of all I want to apologize because of the delay! I'm really sorry and I feel bad that I broke the promise! But I told you the last time that I was going to be out of my city and I wouldn't have my notebook and all; well, for some reasons my stay out of the city was extended and I just came back and it's really late here, but I wanted to update as fast as I could. That's why I couldn't update the 29; but I promise that after this, I'll update every Saturday as usual and everything will return to normality! The good thing is that you'll have to wait only 5 days to read the next chapter! And I also I just read all the reviews! Thank you for the greetings and the reviews! I'll try to write as coherent as I can now, but if you find mistakes and nonsense sentences, it's because the bitch of my brain doesn't want to work! Okay, here I go!

alicegursk: Have you really laughed when Chuck and Jen talked about condoms and all of that? To be honest, I wasn't sure about that conversation because I didn't know how you all were going to take it; I mean, I was all the time thinking that maybe you wouldn't like it or that maybe it was going to be offensive for some people; but finally I dared and I'm glad that you enjoyed it; after all, it's something normal! About the award! haha you made me imagine myself wearing a damn amazing dress receiving the award and thanking all the people and also saying 'Thanks, Hermione!' or saying 'Thank Dead God!' as the Starkid would say! If ever I become famous, just walk to me, and say your name and I'll introduce you to the people as the girl who read my silly fanfiction, when I was just starting this whole thing! Now you'll find what the hell is in the mirror! You had to wait for a long time, but finally you'll know it and things will get really heavy! Ready to read?

Kaylacriss332: haha I know, it was a terrible cliffhanger this time and worse was that you had to wait a long time to find out what the fuck is in the mirror! Terrible, terrible! And I was telling Alice that I wasn't sure about that conversation between Chuck, Jen and Darren, about the condoms and all; because I wasn't sure if you were going to like to read sexual things and all that; but I finally dared to write about it, so now I'll feel more comfortable writing about that stuff! I feel bad that I have to say that sadly you didn't have to wait 10 days; you had to wait like what? About 11 or 12 days, not sure, didn't count! But finally you're gonna read it and I hope you can be ready to know what's in the mirror and what's gonna happen next!

caarolineboeira1: Have you finished high school? In that case, congratulations! :D I hope you had a blast! Are you going to college? If that's the case, what are you going to study? I'm really curious, right? And when you told me that picturing what you read-write like a movie, I started to think that maybe you and I aren't so different! Ah! Good line chosen! Trust me, I have a boyfriend and he doesn't say all of those cute things; well, sometimes yes, but not all the time; anyway I love him. You need Darren, this fictional Darren and maybe also the real deal! haha. About Mandy, I think that nobody can fully trust on her! Maybe you shouldn't or maybe you should... you'll find it out soon! W, such a bitch! hahahaha about the towel and the emergency! Well, maybe Freckles was just kidding and she wanted to look sexy in front of Darren only with a towel, so she could be only with Darren again; or maybe she was being serious and something bad was happening; again, you'll find it out soon, in this chapter! The world hasn't ended, but the world didn't let me update until today! Too bad, I know, very bad of me. I promise that since today, I'll update every Saturday as usual!

Sarah: First, you're welcome! But second, I'm very sorry that I couldn't update the day that I promised! I feel really bad and more considering the stupid cliffhanger that I wrote in the last chapter! It won't happen again, the delay thing. I told other people that I wasn't sure about writing that thing of 'free sexual education class'. I wasn't sure if you were going to like it, of you were going to laugh about it, if you were going to enjoy it; or if you were going to hate it, if you were going to find it offensive or even not proper. But well, I dared to write about it and it seems that many of you liked it, so now I feel better and I feel more comfortable to keep writing things like those. Now, again, sorry for the delay; but finally here's the chapter and you'll find out what was in the mirror!

Monique: I know, it was a terrible and hideous cliffhanger! And also was hideous how long you had to wait to read this new chapter, but finally is here! The good thing is that this Saturday I'll update the next chapter! So you won't have to wait for so long! Because the way it ends this chapter... Well, you can picture it, I think that you already know that I'm married the cliffhangers or something ridiculous like that! Thank you for your greetings! :)

RoseIsabelleCarrow: I hope that this you wrote 'You are simply amazing with all of your outrageous cliffhangers' is a compliment; otherwise I'll kick weiner dogs in Pigfarts to let out my sadness. Just kidding, stupid joke considering the time here, it's really late and I have no brain. Nah, really now; thank you a lot for what you said! I'm super happy to know that you like this story; I know it can't be like Chain Letters, but well, I try to do my best! Thank you, thank you, and thank you! :)

LiesMiranda: You don't have to be sorry! It's alright if you forget to review! I'm just glad that you're reading the story, that is what matters and that is more than enough for me! Well, you see, I'm the one who must apologize because you reviewed this chapter in a hurry because I was supposedly going to update the next chapter earlier, but I couldn't make it in time and you had to wait more time to read this new chapter! I know about the cliffhangers, when I'm the reader, I hate the cliffhangers because I always want to read the next chapter quickly; it happens to me with some books, hence why I can read an entire book in a matter of few days. So I can picture how annoying and how intriguing these cliffhangers can be! I really liked your suggestion and you're completely right! The point is that Darren/Freckles just started this new relationship and everything is recent and new, and they're scared, they're spinning their feelings and all because of the fact that they do want to be together, but then they get angry, but they want to be fine to be together and all love and that, because they want to know what is that about. I was thinking that maybe when the relationship is already settled and they already found out completely what being in love is, is when the problems of the normal and realistic relationships are gonna start! Uh! I have lot to write about it but it'll happen later! I don't know if I explained myself here, you know that I tend to ramble and all that, I suck at this! haha. Oh well! Again one of your funny analogies! Oh gosh, I love them! You seem to be very sure and I don't know I'm starting to think that you have like a power to guess what's going to happen next; you always guess everything! All I can say right now is: Is your car ready?

Alright guys, again, I apologize and I hope you can enjoy this new chapter. And guess what? It's December 31 already here! So I wanted to wish you a totally awesome New Year's Eve and a happy New Year! I hope this New Year can be even better than this year! Have a really good time with your family, friends and beloved people! See you again on Saturday!

* * *

**Teenage Dream – Part 23 – Hide and seek.**

* * *

_**"What the hell is that?"**_ Darren asked as if he was just as scared as you were.

_**"I don't know."**_ You answered with teary and trembling voice because of the fear. _**"I just came here to take a shower and I saw it. Darren!" **_You exclaimed desperate.

You wanted and needed some kind of protection. He noticed it, so he wrapped his arms around you and kissed your head to try to reassure you, but he was also trembling. He also seemed to not know what it was.

_**"Maybe... Maybe is a joke; maybe Chuck or Jen did it."**_ Darren replied but unsure.

_**"You know it's not a joke, Darren. How did this happen? How?"**_ You asked very nervous and scared.

_**"I don't know, baby."**_ Darren answered with trembling voice, looking around in search of someone or a proof. There was nothing.

_**"It's the same lipstick that was in the school bathroom. Darren, why is it there? How is it possible?"**_ You asked insistent, trying to get some kind of answer, but he was in the same confusing situation than you.

_**"I don't know, it must be a joke..."**_ Darren said nervous, gulping.

_**"It is not."**_ You answered with cracked voice, wanting to cry.

_**"Yeah, it is not. I just don't wanna think that W found the way to break into my house."**_ Darren said edgy, looking around. _**"The window is open. Baby, have you opened it?"**_ He asked nervous and you saw the window and shook your head, feeling even more scared.

_**"No, I haven't." **_

Darren walked to where the window was and checked it intently. He was serious, frowning; he was pale and his body was still trembling. Still, he seemed to be trying hard to seem calm, for you.

_**"The window has been smashed. W surely broke into the house by here."**_ Darren assured scared but trying to sound calm.

You looked at him worried and then you looked at the mirror again. It was impossible. How could have W done it without being noticed by Chuck or Jen? You read over again the message in the mirror, written with the same red lipstick that you saw once written in the school bathroom.

**"You're playing dirty, pimple face. Not only you moved into Criss' house; now it comes to happen that you're his girlfriend and I told you to be away from the stupid guy. Not cool. That wasn't a rule of the game and, as a punishment for breaking the rules, this person is also gonna play dirty. Die, bitch. -W-"**

You looked at Darren again who was now looking at the ceiling, frowning as never before; he seemed to be analyzing something so you let him. You looked at the mirror again and you walked closer. You felt something; you stepped on something on the floor, like a nylon yarn.

_**"Watch out!"**_ Darren yelled and he quickly pounced on you, throwing you to the floor.

You looked up scared to find a knife aiming right to where you were seconds ago before Darren threw you on the floor. You couldn't hold back the tears of fear. If it wasn't for Darren, now you probably would be stabbed. Darren held you in his arms very tightly and he caressed your hair trying to calm you. His body was trembling and his heart was beating fast, but he was still trying to comfort you. How was this possible? W was going so far; now this not only was a verbal aggression, it was also a physical aggression; this was something that only an assassin would do. Darren extended one of his arms to grab the knife.

_**"It's a rubber knife."**_ Darren said with trembling voice, throwing it violently to the wall. _**"This is going out of control, this is too much. We need to stop this."**_ Darren said firmly but still trembling as you were still crying because of the fear and the fright. Then he kissed your forehead and rubbed your back reassuringly. _**"It's okay, baby. I'm gonna stop W and nothing; absolutely nothing is gonna happen to you. You're safe with me."**_ He whispered lovingly in your ear._** "I swear on my life that I'm gonna stop W, so we can live in peace. I swear."**_

_**"I'm scared, Darren."**_ You sobbed and he held you tighter.

_**"I know, baby. I am too. But nothing is going to happen to us, I swear. You're with me and I will take care of you always. Get it?"**_ He said now looking deeply into your eyes and you nodded.

_**"Thanks. I promise I'll take care of you too."**_ You answered as fondly as you could in all this mess. He looked at you with bright eyes and a warm smile for a while.

_**"You're already taking care of me, since the first time I've met you."**_ He said caressing your cheek and then he placed his hand on your towel and lifted it. Oh damn, half of your breasts were showing up, what a shame.

_**"Oh gosh, that was embarrassing."**_ You said in a whisper, blushing; and he chuckled very softly.

_**"Don't worry, I didn't see anything."**_ He replied and he wasn't lying because all the time he was looking at you straight into your eyes. _**"Come on."**_ He said standing up and giving you his hand to help you to stand up. You grabbed with your free hand the towel and finally stood up. _**"I'll make you a hot chocolate to calm down and moreover we're gonna ask Chuck and Jen if they have heard something."**_

_**"Fine. Just give me a minute."**_ You said holding your towel firmly. Darren nodded but he stood there. _**"I... I want to be alone for a minute."**_ You asked shyly and Darren raised his eyebrows, suddenly feeling awkward.

_**"Oh yes, yes, sorry."**_ He said quickly, slurring his words. _**"I'll be in the kitchen, okay?"**_

_**"Okay, fine. Thanks."**_ You answered with a slight smile.

When Darren finally left the bathroom and closed the door behind you, you walked to the mirror again, this time checking if there was another trap. Fortunately, there wasn't. You read the message again, very intently. Something popped in your mind, something that scared you, something that made you feel terribly down-hearted, something that shocked you. The color of the lipstick; it was exactly the same that your sister had, and your sister was here, in this house. That couldn't be possible; she could never do that to you, never ever. You threw the towel and quickly you put on some clothes to run as fast as you could to the entrance. You needed to find your sister. When you ran to the entrance, Darren was in the living room with two cups of hot chocolate, next to Chuck and Jen. But you didn't stop to give them any explanation, you just left the house running.

_**"Freckles! Hey!"**_ You heard Darren yelling, trying to follow you now; but you were being really fast and you couldn't stop. _**"Freckles, where are you going? Stop right now! Please!"**_ He yelled desperate but his screams were more distant now; you kept running.

You ran and ran, not looking behind, while tears started to stream down your face but dispelled by the speed at which you were running. You were confused, sad, upset, disappointed. The warm wind typical of spring started blowing, it was dark and only few people were around, but you kept running. You didn't hear Darren's screams anymore, he lost you in the way, but you kept running; you kept running despite that your legs were in pain and you barely could breathe. You finally arrived at your old house and you stood there, looking at it. All the lights were off and it was very silent. You couldn't get in, because there was also your father, and you didn't want to see him, not now. But you needed to talk to your sister and you were mad and disconcerted.

_**"Amanda!"**_ You yelled your lungs out from the street, looking at Amanda's bedroom window. _**"Amanda!"**_ You yelled even louder.

A lot of lights of the neighboring houses turned on and some people poked their heads out the windows. But Amanda didn't appeared and the light didn't turn on. Your father also didn't appear.

_**"Amanda! Get out the house!"**_ You yelled your lungs out again, now you knew you were going to become hoarse. Some people began to shut you, but you didn't listen. _**"AMANDA!"**_

And finally the light of her bedroom turned on and she poked her face out the window. She was already on her pajamas and she was apparently sleeping, now she was looking at you frowning and bewildered, as if you were crazy. When she saw you, she got inside again. You waited patiently and then you saw how the light of the front yard turned on and, minutes later, Mandy appeared, wearing a long coat.

_**"Are you insane?"**_ She asked in disbelief while walking to you. _**"What happened? Have you had a fight with Darren or something?" **_

You didn't answer at her, you only pounced at her and you threw her to the floor, you getting on top of her to pull her hair. You were carrying away because of your rage, you couldn't control it, you barely knew what you were doing, and you were just a mess. Your sister didn't beat you, but she pulled you away to stop you. When she got it; you attempted to pounce on her over again but she grabbed you by your arms strongly, but careful not to hurt you. You couldn't move so you looked at her in anger and you saw her eyes. She was looking at you puzzled and distressed. Then it was as if everything was tearing apart; as if everything was cold and there was no warm, there was no bright, no sun, no comfort. You started to mourn disconsolately; not only for what you just did, because that there wasn't you; also because Mandy was your sister and maybe she was the one who did all that to you, maybe she was part of the W team, or worse yet, maybe she was W. All this suffering, all these threats, all these concerns, all these shit situation that brought you down; maybe Mandy was the one who caused that. Your own sister. You cried your heart out and your sister hugged you to comfort you. But there was no comfort, not now.

_**"Why did you do that?"**_ You asked still sobbing.

_**"Why did I do what?"**_ She asked with cracked voice and in a whisper, confused.

_**"Why, Mandy? Why do you hate me so much?"**_

_**"I don't hate you. Where did you get something like that?"**_ She asked still confused.

_**"You hate me, you hate me, you hate me. What did I do? Why? How could you? I don't want you to hate me like that."**_ You said still sobbing, trying to say sense things, but you didn't get it.

_**"Alright."**_ Amanda said firmly and she grabbed you by the arms again to look at you fixedly._** "What is going on? What happened? Why are you saying all of that?"**_

_**"You're one of them. All this time... You knew it all because you're one of them."**_ You answered in between the tears.

_**"One of whom?"**_ She asked still flurried.

_**"Of the W team!"**_ You answered almost yelling shrilly. Amanda raised her eyebrows and looked at you with eyes wide open, completely horrified.

_**"What did you say?"**_ She asked brokenly, still terrified.

_**"Do not lie to me, Amanda. Not anymore. I'm sick of lies, of living in this fake reality where nothing is real, nothing is honest, and nothing can be true."**_ You sobbed looking at her intensely.

_**"I'm not... I swear... I... I'm not one of those..."**_ Mandy said it trembling, looking away and very edgy.

_**"I just want to know why! Why have you done it to me? Give me an answer; please give me a honest answer for once and all!"**_ You cried while tears wouldn't stop to stream down your face.

_**"I've never meant to do it. I'm sorry."**_ Mandy answered now also crying.

That was like a knife stabbing your heart. You looked at her with your heart broken. She admitted that she was involved in this macabre game. Your sister, your only sister; the person with whom you shared all your life; was one of the guilty people of your pain and suffering. She was one of the people who made you feel down, who threatened you, who made you feel as if you were worthless; who abused of you both psychologically and physically; she was one of the people who turned your life into a very insufferable and horrid life. Why? You closed your eyes in suffering and tried to stop crying but it was impossible, it hurt way too much.

_**"Are you W?"**_ You asked weakly, still with your eyes closed and shedding tears.

_**"No, I'm not."**_ You sister answered sobbing. _**"I swear I am not."**_

_**"Why are you one of them?"**_ You asked again trying to calm and constantly failing. _**"How does that macabre game work? Are you part of the team of haters? Are you one of the people who want to destroy me? Why are you involved? What is the reason?"**_

_**"I'm not one of the haters and I've never wanted to destroy you. I've never wanted to be involved, I've been forced. I swear on my life that I've been forced."**_ Your sister cried even more, now holding your hands. You looked at her heartbrokenly and she was looking at you desperate.

_**"That's why W knew my phone number... You told it."**_ You said so down that it was unbearable, so unbearable that you were starting to feel nothing and feel cold and heartless. Your sister looked down and it only meant a yes. _**"You were the one who wrote with a lipstick the mirror of the school bathroom; with your red lipstick. You were the one who got the picture of me, when everybody started calling me pimple face; no one else knew about that picture. You were the one who sent me the bottle of liquor, which the one I got drunk for the first time and made me lose my memory temporally; no one else knew where I lived. It explains why W knew a lot of things about me, like what I was doing, even when I was in my old bedroom. It explains why W knew about my past, about my private feelings, because you read my diary; in which I talked about Darren for example. You were the one who wrote that message in the mirror of Darren's bathroom; you were the one who put there that knife. How could you?"**_ You asked with teary voice, feeling very dejected. Your sister, next to you, was crying uncontrollably.

_**"I'm sorry, I had no options! Jim forced me!"**_ She cried.

_**"Sure, you had no options. The only option was to make me go through all the shit I had to go through, the only option was to make me feel so down to the point I was thinking that my whole life was pointless; but you didn't have the option of not doing what Jim was telling you to do. Good." **_You answered now coldly and faraway.

It was as if nothing could make you suffer more than this; as if now everything was lost and there was nothing. As if you really gave up, as if there was nothing to live for because your own family, your entire family threw you out, your entire family deserted you; you were no one to your family, you've never been part of the family. You were alone and everything else you had was just an illusion, was only something transient because, sooner or later, even Darren was going to desert you as everybody else has done: Your father, your mother, your sister, your only friends Peter and Alexandra. Now you started to feel it: You forgave the point of life; you were feeling empty.

_**"I'm so sorry! I didn't want to make you feel like that!"**_ She exclaimed desperate.

_**"You knew I was going to feel like that, but you did it anyway." **_You answered coldly, with your sight lost. _**"You could have told me, but you decided not to tell me anything. You could have supported me, but you didn't. You could have warned me if you couldn't talk, but you didn't. You could even have sent me anonymous text messages telling me to not to do certain things if you couldn't talk, but you didn't. You had thousands of ways to help me, but you haven't helped me. That was your decision."**_

_**"I was scared."**_

_**"I was scared too, Amanda. I was also confused, distressed, hopeless, helpless, lost, lonely, and insecure, discriminated, beaten, threatened; I was also falling apart. But I always tried to keep my few friends and my family safe. And I was broken, but I still tried to do the right thing, to not to hurt anyone. Do not tell me that you couldn't have done it, because I've been worse than you. At least, you've never been bullied. They abused of me, you abused of me, Amanda."**_ You said coldly but shedding tears; it seemed physically impossible that you could keep shedding tears after all the tears you've already shed.

_**"Please, don't say that." **_She wept, resting her head on your lap. You stayed steady, feeling insensitive.

_**"It's the truth."**_ You answered harshly.

_**"Try to understand me."**_ She begged.

_**"Why should I try to understand you, if no one ever tried to understand me? I'm sick of trying to make everybody happy while no one cares about me; while I'm still the poor girl that no one wants around. Why should I be always the fool? Why should I be always the girl who cares about everybody? Why should I be the girl who puts in first place others without thinking of herself in the first place? Why? Why others can't do it for me at least once? I also need someone, but no one notices it, no one cares."**_ You said absent and expressionless.

_**"I do care about you and this went out of my control. They threatened me with a lot of things, please. I begged Jim to stop with this, I told him I didn't want to keep going with this, I told him this was going out of control, that this was too much. I begged him to stop, but he wouldn't listen to me. I've even broken up with him because of this, but things kept going worse and worse. I tried to convince other people involved that this was bad; no one listened. Please, forgive me." **_She begged weeping, wrapping her arms around your hips, still with her head on your lap.

_**"I can't."**_ You answered curtly and frivolously.

_**"Please, forgive me. I'd do whatever you want, please. I love you, sister, I really do." **_

_**"Well, then tell me who W is."**_ You said bossy.

_**"I don't know who W is. Jim was the only one who all the time was forcing me to do things. W identity was never revealed to me."**_ She answered guiltily but honestly.

_**"Then, the only I want is you to be away from me. I tried to get closer to you several times, it never worked."**_ You said heartless.

_**"Please, don't. Don't ask me that. I want to be with you, I want to support you, I want to help you now."**_ She cried supplicant now looking at you, but you ignored her.

_**"It's late. I'm nobody, you wouldn't help a nobody."**_ You answered insensibly.

_**"You're my sister. And I love you and a lot of people love you, truly love you. You mean a lot to so many people; you aren't a nobody."**_ Your sister said afflicted. _**"I promise I'll stop doing all the things they tell me to do, no matter what it'll come to happen. I promise to protect you, to stand by you; I promise to help you to find out who W is. Because I realize now that nothing else is important, that you're more important than anything. Please, give me a chance."**_

_**"Amanda, I lost my ability to trust on people, to trust on promises." **_

_**"Fine, I got it. But at least let me try it, let me show you that you can trust again." **_She begged firmly and you only looked away serious. _**"Listen... I've been blinded all this time; I've called you a coward while actually I am the coward one. I've made a lot of mistakes, I've acted as a fool, and I've pulled you away from me. I want to change it, because... You're the only one I care about. This last time we spent together... It helped me to know you more and I realized the kind of person you are, I realized who is worthwhile and who isn't. I know you're the only good thing that happened to me, you were the only one who has really changed me for the better. For the first time, I feel good with myself, and I owe it to you. So please, let me return you all of this. Let me be the sister you always needed. I want to do it. And if you can't forgive me, I understand; if you can't trust me, I understand. But at least let me stand by you, let me love you."**_ She said wiping her tears away and looking deeply into your eyes. In other circumstances, you surely would have forgiven her; but now everything felt different.

_**"You're free to do whatever you want. You've been always free to do whatever you wanted. But do not expect anything from me, because you won't get it."**_ You replied cold-hearted.

_**"I won't expect anything from you. You'll see, I'll find out who W is; I'll protect you. Thank you, thank you!" **_Amanda said desperately and she hugged you tightly. You didn't hug her back.

_**"I wish everything could be different. I wish you would not have betrayed me."**_ You said coldly as you felt how a tear dropped on your shoulder while Mandy was still hugging you.

_**"Is that all true?"**_ You heard a voice coming from the distance.

You looked up to see who that person was. Darren was standing not so far from where you were; looking as if he was confused, upset and distressed. Apparently he had been listening to your conversation with Amanda, hiding behind a bush. You just simply looked the other way. You knew that sooner or later, Darren was also going to hurt you. It was part of this cruel humanity. It was what it was meant to you.

* * *

While I was waiting for Freckles with the two cups of hot chocolate, I saw her running away without saying anything at all. I asked her what the hell was going on while I was running behind her, but she didn't answer and she didn't stop. She ran so fast that I lost her. I didn't know where she could have gone, but on my way of running to nowhere in particular, I realized something. Before she ran away, she was in the bathroom; she was seeing the message written in the mirror with a red lipstick. It was the same red lipstick that Mandy had. Oh shit. Freckles was running to her house to find Mandy. I don't have a fucking idea why it popped in my mind, how I could have thought all of that in a matter of seconds. But it had sense; so I ran directly to her house. When I arrived at her house, she was there, yelling her lungs out, calling Mandy. I saw that situation puzzled because of its oddness. Hours ago they were getting along so very well and now she was yelling at her sister as if she was really furious. I thought that the best idea was to hide behind something, so I could hear what was happening without interrupting them. Mandy reached Freckles and I saw how Freckles pounced on her sister to pull her hair. What the fuck? That wasn't Freckles; Freckles wasn't a violent person. I was about to stop that fight, but Mandy stopped her quickly, so I stayed there. And then they started to dispute about something I couldn't get because Freckles was asking nonsense things. Until I heard it:

_**"You're one of them. All this time... You knew it all because you're one of them."**_ Freckles said crying.

_**"One of whom?"**_ Mandy asked terrified.

_**"Of the W team!"**_ Freckles yelled and Mandy freaked out.

Oh damn shit. Mandy was involved on this all this time and I've never suspected it. Maybe that was the reason why she, all of a sudden, was interested on me. That was why she wanted me, not because she had feelings for me but because she wanted to get information of me. I also remembered the conversation that Mandy and Jim had once, when Jim and Brian hit me that time, one of the first days of school...

_"I'm out of this. We agreed you wouldn't hurt her!" Mandy yelled._

_"I thought you hated her." Jim answered frivolously._

_"Well yes I do. But this was too much, Jim. You could have killed her." Mandy yelled again angrily._

_"Well, that bitch deserved it. She pounced on me. I hit her like a boss." Jim said proud of himself._

_"Yeah, Jim! How rude you are for hitting a girl younger than you!" Mandy exclaimed sarcastically. "I'm out of this shit, don't count on me anymore."_

Oh fuck. Mandy was definitely involved on this game of W. How could she? And Mandy was admitting Freckles that she was one of them. I heard the entire conversation and it was heartbreaking. What really broke my heart was what Freckles said...

_**"I was scared too, Amanda. I was also confused, distressed, hopeless, helpless, lost, lonely, and insecure, discriminated, beaten, threatened; I was also falling apart. But I always tried to keep my few friends and my family safe. And I was broken, but I still tried to do the right thing, to not to hurt anyone. Do not tell me that you couldn't have done it, because I've been worse than you. At least, you've never been bullied. They abused of me, you abused of me, Amanda."**_ She said coldly, as if she was another person.

I knew that kind of voice because I heard it on Jen when she lost her brother. She couldn't find the point of life anymore. I wanted to go running to her and hold her, I wanted to comfort her, I wanted to make her smile. But I stayed there, still hearing their conversation. Then, another thing that Freckles said broke my heart...

_**"Why should I try to understand you, if no one ever tried to understand me? I'm sick of trying to make everybody happy while no one cares about me; while I'm still the poor girl that no one wants around. Why should I be always the fool? Why should I be always the girl who cares about everybody? Why should I be the girl who puts in first place others without thinking of herself in the first place? Why? Why others can't do it for me at least once? I also need someone, but no one notices it, no one cares."**_ She said expressionless.

_**"I do care about you, I notice it, I want to be there for you; I love you."**_ I wanted to say to her, but I stayed silent, still hiding.

Amanda was desperate and she seemed to be honest, she was suffering this situation. But she betrayed Freckles, she was one of the people who hurt my Freckles; she was one of the people who hurt us, who helped to make everything hard and miserable, who threatened us. I was very disappointed of Amanda. Freckles, on the other hand, was being cruel and cold-hearted; she wasn't Freckles, she was a hopeless person who was tired of suffering, therefore she was being insensitive. Her words were very piercing and intense, so sad.

_**"It's late. I'm nobody, you wouldn't help a nobody."**_ Freckles said insensibly. A nobody? How the hell would she think that she is a nobody? It wasn't like that, not at all.

_**"You're my sister. And I love you and a lot of people love you, truly love you. You mean a lot to so many people; you aren't a nobody."**_ It was one wise thing that Amanda finally said.

_**"I wish everything could be different. I wish you would not have betrayed me."**_ Freckles said coldly.

I couldn't stand it anymore. Freckles wasn't fine, I could totally notice it. She needed me. And Amanda... I still couldn't believe that she was able to do such a terrible thing.

_**"Is that all true?"**_ I asked walking to them, still very puzzled.

_**"Darren, this is not a good moment. This is something only between my sister and me."**_ Amanda answered but not harshly. I looked at Freckles, she was looking away with a blankly expression that was hurtful to see.

_**"You see, this involves me too, and it involves Jen. It involves all the people that W hurt. So I do think I'm on my right to ask and stay here."**_ I answered firmly looking at Amanda and then I looked at Freckles again. _**"Besides, my girlfriend isn't fine and I want to be here with her, I want to comfort her and just hold her in this moment." **_

Amanda looked down knowing that I was right and she smiled slightly. She moved away from Freckles and Freckles didn't even look at me when I sat next to her, she didn't look at me when I held her hand and I wrapped an arm around her; she didn't smiled, she didn't look, she didn't move. This was hurtful and confusing.

_**"Are you feeling fine, baby?"**_ I whispered warmly in her ear and she simply shrugged without saying anything at all.

_**"I'm sorry, guys. I really am. I've done a lot of stupid things."**_ Amanda suddenly said and I looked at her serious. Freckles didn't look at her, she seemed to be faraway.

_**"Yes, you have."**_ I answered but not as coldly as Freckles has been answering her. _**"Freckles already said it all, I've been listening your conversation since the beginning. This went out of control and you and that team hurt a lot of people in a way you can't even picture. You and that team have been very rough and cruel, you all have threatened with terrible things and it's not easy to forgive it." **_

_**"I know..."**_ Mandy said with teary voice, looking down apparently feeling very regretted.

_**"You need to understand that it's not that we don't want to forgive you; it's just that it was such the pain caused that we'll need time to honestly forgive it. It's not easy for me, I can't imagine how hard is for Freckles, who has taken the worse part."**_ I said frankly and Mandy just kept looking down.

She really has changed for the better, I knew that she wanted to be a better person now; but it was just hard for us. I got distracted when Mandy's phone buzzed.

_**"Look! Look what I recently received."**_ Mandy said hurriedly, showing us her phone.

I looked at her frowning like 'what the hell are you doing'; she kneeled in front of me and Freckles and gave us her phone. I was suspicious, but I grabbed it and I started reading the text message with Freckles. Of course, it was from W.

**"Seriously, Mandy? Are you switching to their team now? You know it's not the best option, you know who's gonna win. With them you're going straight to the doom; you're gonna lose your popularity and you're gonna be a loser like 'em. And remember that your scholarship for college so longed with much effort, is in game. Say goodbye to it and all the good things you have. -W-"**

I finished reading the text message and I looked at Mandy. She was looking down, apparently feeling troubled. When she looked up to me, I could see the same scary eyes with which Freckles was used to look at me when she received one of those text messages; it was a kind of look like wanting some kind of support and help, a kind of look that meant that she needed someone to tell her that she was going to take the right decision. Freckles, over again, didn't say anything. Something was happening to her. Well, this was a weird situation... Maybe Mandy also has been receiving threatening text messages from W like this one, maybe that's why she did all she has done, right as she has told us. And W was threatening her with her scholarship for college and that wasn't good, I knew how hard was to get a scholarship, so it wasn't something with which you could play. Maybe Freckles couldn't understand it yet because she was a sophomore; maybe that was why she couldn't understand the decisions that Mandy has taken. Yeah, what Mandy has done wasn't good and she has been cruel with her little sister; but there was a reason and at least it was easier to forgive her now that I knew which the reasons of having done what she has done were.

_**"What are you gonna do?"**_ I asked looking at Mandy. I noticed how Mandy gulped and felt nervous.

_**"I'm gonna stay with my sister. If I can't get my scholarship, I don't care; I'll get a job to pay for it. I'd rather to do it than to see how they hurt my sister. I've learned from my mistakes."**_ She answered firmly but still with that kind of look that I knew from Freckles.

I smiled slightly and I nodded and I noticed how she felt a bit better. Mandy received another text message and this time, we all read it at the same time. Of course, again from W.

**"Stupid girl. Now for this stupid decision you have just taken, now your future for all your life is not gonna be as you've always dreamed. You wanted to be a fashion designer? Now you're just gonna be a poor enslaved housemaid, watching how the rich people, for whom you work for, are gonna waste money on less important things than those you need. You're entering into a life full of misery and suffering. And you know? You'd never be the person you've always dreamed of, you'd never get the job you always wanted, you'd never have real friends, and you'd never find a person to love and be loved. You're just an idiot and geek girl now. -W-" **

I knew that for Mandy this was too much to hold; because all her life she has always been the popular and pretty girl, surrounded by tons of friends and lovers; she was the kind of girl who always has got what she wanted; she's never been humiliated or bullied, she's never been left beside, she's never been ignored and treated like crap. So it was weird that someone was treating her like this now; surely it was going to be hard for her to start this new kind of life in high school, to be in this new status of popularity in school: the losers' team. She was looking away, frowning and distressed. She was feeling bad but she didn't want us to notice it; it was noticeable that she wanted to seem strong for us.

_**"You know, Mandy? This is bullshit. W, whoever this person is, actually can't do anything to ruin your future. Those are just threats, are just mean words to scare you. But you're the only one who can decide about your own future. If you want to be a fashion designer, then you'll get it. W can't do anything to screw it, to screw your dreams; because in fact, everything is up to you. W is just trying to let you down, so that way you won't fight for what you want because you'd think that is worthless the effort. That's how W works."**_ I said softly, trying to sound convinced of my words, even if I wasn't.

_**"I guess."**_ She smiled sadly, looking down. _**"These words won't change my mind, though. I'm sure of this decision I'm taking."**_

_**"That's the attitude. You need to feel self-confident and then W won't be able to hurt you; because you know you're doing what is right."**_ I said smiling friendly, even though the situation was tense. Freckles, still, wasn't saying anything at all. She was absent. Then it was my phone the one that buzzed.

**"Telling lies to the new member of your team? Bad boy. Oh, by the way, Criss... Have you noticed that your parents haven't arrived yet? Haven't you wondered which the reason can be? I don't know if you remember what I told you about your mommy on Sundays... If I were you, I'd be very worried. -W-"**

I finished reading the text message and I put it aside, trying to pretend that it wasn't anything serious. Freckles and Mandy haven't read it and I didn't want them to know. I needed to seem I was fine, that nothing wrong could happen. But inside, I was freaking out, I was very worried and edgy. Yes, it was in fact odd that my parents haven't arrived yet at home without telling us anything. But I didn't want to think about bad things and now, thanks to W, I was thinking very bad things. W had macabre ideas and plans, so I couldn't be sure of anything; I had no idea what could be happening. What if W found my parents and hurt them? What if they had an accident caused by W? What if they had been stolen or something? I wanted to come back home, I wanted to call my parents and get an answer from them; but they weren't taking the calls. But besides, I also needed to talk to Freckles because she was acting in a very eerie way and I didn't like seeing her that way. In silence and trying my best to seem calm; I texted Chuck.

To Chuck: **Hey bro... Are already mom and dad at home?**

From Chuck: **Nope. And they keep ignoring my calls. Maybe they extended their date.**

To Chuck: **Yeah, keep calling them. This is weird.**

From Chuck: **Will do. I'll tell you if they take the call or if they arrive. But come back home soon.**

I looked away very concerned and thinking about which were the chances that my parents could have had an accident caused by W. No, I didn't want to think about it. I was literally freaking out and I couldn't hide it.

_**"What's going on? Is everything alright?"**_ Mandy asked looking at me frowning.

_**"Yes, everything is fine... I just... My brother texted me, that's all."**_ I lied not because I wanted to, but because it was the best to say in this tense moment. Of course, my phone buzzed again.

**"Still telling lies, Criss? Huh no, bad done, little liar. The truth will out. -W-"**

Fuck you, W. I thought in my mind. I was sick of these threats, of these text messages, of living all the time worried, of trying to pretend I was fine when nothing was fine. Mandy' phone buzzed now and when she saw from who it was, she showed that text message to us.

**"Ask the little liar called Criss what the truth of what is happening is... You see, they're all liars. You mean nothing to them, that's why they won't tell you a damn shit. Not even they want to be your real friends, slut. -W-" **

_**"Uhm... It's not that you mean nothing to us, it's not like that. It's just something private."**_ I answered edgy, looking away.

_**"You don't have to tell me, is okay. I know how this game is, so don't worry."**_ Mandy replied comprehensively.

Then Freckles' phone buzzed like three times and both Mandy and I looked at her, expectant to know who it was and what it said. But she read it alone, serious and when she finished reading it, she threw her phone away in a fit of rage. We looked at her perplexed and she remained serious and blankly again, looking away, without giving us any kind of explanation. Mandy and I exchanged a suspicious gaze and then we looked at Freckles again.

_**"Who was it, baby?"**_ I asked gingerly.

_**"No one."**_ She answered coldly, still avoiding my gaze as she has been doing all this time.

_**"Was it W?"**_ I asked again, insistent.

_**"It doesn't matter. Nothing matters."**_ She answered harshly.

_**"It does matter. We're together on this, remember? Baby, what did it say?"**_ I asked insistent and finally she looked at me. But I wasn't expecting that kind of look full of anger. Why was she looking at me that way?

_**"I'm sick of having to explain everything all the time; I'm sick of receiving stupid threatening text messages; I'm sick of hearing the phrase 'hey, we're together on this' and shit like that. I know it's not like that, so please, stop annoying me with questions I don't feel like answering. Respect that."**_ She said almost yelling in a very harsh and cold way, still looking at me furious.

Oh man, what the hell? What was this all about? Why was she suddenly so angry, so pessimistic about life and all? Hours ago she was still the cute and simple Freckles that I was holding in my arms to comfort her. I looked at her confused and completely bemused, also feeling afflicted because her rude words kinda hurt me. I just couldn't get why she was being like that with me if, as far as I knew, I didn't do anything bad to her. I noticed how Mandy, next to me, looked down also afflicted and confused. Freckles looked away again with the blankly expression. Something really bad was happening to her and I needed to know; so I stood up in silence to grab her phone and read the text messages she has recently received. Yes, those were indeed from W. I read them and I understood why Freckles was so upset.

**"Everything is going as I've planned. You're going right to your own destruction: An ugly and geek bitch with no house, no family, no friends, no hopes, no goals, and no love; with nothing. How does it feel to be absolutely empty? -W-" **

**"Look at yourself... You can't even know who you are and why you are there. You don't fit anywhere and with anybody. Are you sure that your life has sense now? -W-"**

I read those awful text messages and I felt really mad. But the worst text message was the last one. I had no words to explain all I felt when I read it. I only know that I felt a mix of anger, disbelief, impotence, heartache, desperation, nervousness, perturbation, bitterness and a big grief. I didn't know that a human being could ever feel all of that at the same time; but yeah, it was possible. That text message was just so heartbreaking and so untrue; so morbid, insensitive, inhumane; so... ruthless. And false, everything was a huge lie. And more than a text message it seemed a letter, a perverse and grim letter.

**"Your sister lies. She helped to destroy you and now she's saying that she wants to be with you, but she didn't do it when she had the chance. Criss lies. He told you that you're the love of his life and that he trusts on you, but he didn't believe you when he had the chance, he chose to hide behind a bush when you were arguing with your sister instead comforting you as any other real boyfriend would have done. Criss said that he wants to share everything with you, but he hasn't shared with you what was happening lately. Jennifer lies. She told you that you could trust on her, but when you confessed her your love for Darren, she told him so. Charles lies. He told you that being different is good, but he didn't tell you that is impossible to do because he preferred you to suffer it. Your father lies. He told you were his little and best daughter, but he always loved more your sister than you, he kicked you out heartless. Your mother lies. She told you that she was going to take care of you always, but she's never in home when you need her. Your teachers lie. They told you that you're the smartest girl in school, but they didn't tell you that they're about to expel you from school because your degrees and your behavior got worse lately. You should really think if the people you have next to you really care and love you or if they're pretending it for pity. You should really think if you're worthy or you're just a nobody walking around lonely and miserable. You should consider your existence in this world, for your own good. -W-"**

W really had no heart. I looked at Freckles very anguished; she was still looking away blankly. I was feeling so bad, I was feeling a hole in my heart even though that text message wasn't for me; but it was for my girlfriend and whatever hurts her, it hurt me as well. And W was inducing her to the worst, that person was inducing her to commit suicide. How could any human being be so fucking ghoulish? I left her phone on the grass again and I walked to Freckles, as Mandy grabbed Freckles' phone to read the text messages, because she got scared when she saw my terrified face. I kneeled next to Freckles and I held her hands in silence; she still avoided my gaze.

_**"All of that... It's not true." **_I whispered glum. _**"We don't feel pity for you; we really love you and care. Your life is worthy and you are worthy. Yes, we all have made mistakes because we're human beings. Yes, surely we also hurt you on so many ways, but I'm sure when I say that it wasn't intentional. For all the bad things we've done, for all the bad decisions we have made, for all the pain caused... We never meant that. All of that doesn't mean that we don't love you, because we really do; because you let us to see your real you, your magic and your everything. We know you, W doesn't know you, and so that person can't opine what the best for you is. We can, you can; and what I think, as your boyfriend who loves you madly, is that the best for you is to keep being happy as you are when you're yourself. What I think is that you're the most magnificent person I've ever met and I wish nobody could make you think or feel the opposite. You're beloved."**_ I said with teary voice and eyes full of tears, trying to look deeply into her eyes, even though she wasn't looking at me. But Freckles still had the blankly expression, as if she hasn't listened to me at all.

_**"Yes, I am. That's why the only friends I had betrayed me; that's why everybody in school calls me in a derogatory way; that's why my mother is never here when I need a little mother love; that's why my own father told me awful things and kicked me out without caring if I had a place to go or not; that's why my own sister didn't care that I was falling apart; that's why people hit me, bullied me, cursed at me, made fun of me, and ignored me. That's why I'm beloved. That's why I don't have a family, I don't have friends, and I don't have a home. That's why even you, sooner or later, are gonna walk away from me. Someday, you're gonna do what everybody else has done. And I'd rather to avoid that moment from now than to later suffer it, when it's already too late."**_ She said insensitive, with a poker face.

Was she really feeling anything at all? What would she mean with those words? Why would she have that attitude? What would she be actually thinking and feeling? Unlike other times, she wasn't letting me to notice it; because she was being expressionless and distant. This was even worse than when she was mad at me, because at least those times I knew what she was feeling.

_**"Will not do that. I won't walk away from you."**_ I answered frowning and kind of distressed; because I couldn't get how she could be thinking something like that if I already told her what she meant to me. _**"I love you, I'm not one of those guys who say that and don't mean it. It took me a long time to admit it to you, but I'm sure that those words aren't simply words; that is what I truly feel for you."**_ I answered looking into her eyes, still feeling that distress in my chest as she was looking at me expressionless. _**"And you do have real friends who love you: you have Jen and Chuck; you also have me, because besides being my love, you're also my best friend. You have a family: you have your sister who has made a lot of mistakes but is trying hard now to show you that you're important to her; you also have my family who loves you as if you were one more of us. You do have a home: my home is your home; and that's only a tangible home, because besides you have another home, intangible, here in my heart."**_ I said placing my hand on my heart, still looking at her intensely. Her lack of expression was hurting me. _**"And if people have hurt you, have hit you, have made fun of you, have bullied you, have ignored you; it's because they can't appreciate the kind of person that you are, but they're the fool ones who are losing the chance to meet a person as extraordinary as you are."**_ I said with all honesty, holding her hands now. _**"I do understand that you can't see it because of that stupid and untrue text message you've received; but I'm telling you that it's like that."**_

_**"You can't understand me because you've never had to go through the things I had to. You'll never understand me, you don't have a fucking idea how it feels because you've never felt it."**_ She answered coldly and it was desperate.

_**"Maybe I haven't had to go through the things you had to. Maybe I haven't felt what you exactly are feeling. But I've been hurt too on so many ways, so I'm familiarized with the feeling. Maybe different things have hurt us, but the feeling of being lost and lonely is exactly the same."**_ I said kindly, trying to find out how she was feeling, but constantly failing. _**"I promise that I'll do as possible to not to let that someone hurt you; I'll do as possible to show you that I'm a guy who's gonna hug you while you're feeling down, who's gonna give you a hand when you need help, who's gonna give you a shoulder to lean on and cry, a guy who's gonna celebrate with you all your victories and accompany you in all your defeats. I will do as possible to show you that I'm the guy who wants to share your laughs and crying. I'm the guy who wants to steal you a smile to witness how the world suddenly lights up. I'm the guy who would do everything to cheer you up, to see you getting better. And all that because I love you, because I really do and it's not false as that text message."**_ I said with teary eyes as she looked at me. This time, her eyes brightened and I could notice it; only that she still wasn't as same as before.

_**"You inspire love, Darren."**_ She said looking into my eyes and I smiled warmly at her. _**"And to be totally, completely and absolutely in love, must be fully aware that one is also loved, that oneself also inspires love."**_ She said with soft voice and I was looking at her, trying to get what her point was. _**"And I don't feel like that. I don't feel loved and less I feel that I inspire love."**_ She said now looking at her lap; finally I was noticing her emotions: she was anguished. _**"You say you love me, it may be true, I don't know. What I know is that you can't love a girl who isn't even able to love herself."**_ She said with cracked voice and I was looking at her confused. I wasn't getting this. _**"So that's why I think, I really think that we shouldn't be together."**_ She said now looking at me straight in the eye. I looked at her for a long time in silence, still confused but feeling a pressure in my chest, as panic.

_**"What does it mean?"**_ I asked really confused and distressed, frowning.

_**"A break up."**_ She answered curtly.

And those words stabbed my heart. I looked at her agape, terrified and fully heartbroken. I looked fixedly into her eyes not wanting to accept what I just heard, I couldn't get it. I felt a hole in my heart, I felt a pressure in my chest, and I felt cold. Why was she doing that? Why was she saying those things? Why did she want it? I couldn't get it, I couldn't take it. I looked at her for a long time in silence because the lump on my throat wouldn't let me speak; I was in shock. _Do not cry, Darren Everett Criss, do not cry in front of her_. I repeated in my mind persistently. _She's only confused, she's only feeling bad now, it'll pass; just do not cry, Darren Everett Criss_. But it was too much to hold back. I had to look down because her eyes were like killing me, her seriousness was killing me. I tried to turn my face so she wouldn't notice that tears started to stream down my face uncontrollably.

_**"Do not do that."**_ Mandy finally said, firmly and serious. But I couldn't look at her; I needed to go away because my tears wouldn't stop falling down. _**"Do not let go the guy who loves you a lot and who you love, only because a person who doesn't know you is confusing you. Do not hurt the ones who love you because of someone you have no idea how is personally." **_Mandy said desperate.

_**"People can hurt me but I can't hurt anyone? How is that?"**_ Freckles asked kind of mad and in disbelief. She wasn't being the Freckles I knew. Why was she acting like that? I just wanted to understand her. Her words were just piercing my heart.

_**"Actually, you can hurt all the people you want if you want. You can hurt me, you can hurt Darren, you can hurt your friends, your peers, the neighbor's dog; and you also can hurt yourself. You're free to hurt people. Do it, if you want."**_ Amanda answered as if she was indifferent and I noticed how her words made Freckles frown in confusion. _**"But I'll tell you what you're gonna feel, because I felt it, because I've done it." **_Mandy said firmly and Freckles looked at her intently. _**"At first you'll feel so brave and superior, superb and mighty. You'll feel the world in your hands."**_ Mandy said smiling but then she got serious again, raising an eyebrow, smiling bitterly. _**"But with time, you'll realize that it was the opposite; you don't have the world in your hands, you have crushed the world in your hands with yourself in it. You aren't brave, you're a coward. You aren't mighty, you're weak. You aren't superior, you're disgusting. You aren't superb, you're an idiot."**_ She said disgusted and bitterly while Freckles was still looking at her intently. I was trying to listen to her, but I was still feeling really bad. _**"Because hurting people leads you nowhere. What's the point of hurting people? What would you get if not hate and suffering? As human beings, we're constantly hurting people, sometimes it isn't intentional, sometimes we don't notice it. It's part of being a human being; it's impossible not to hurt anybody. You know why?"**_ She asked looking fixedly at her sister and Freckles shook her head. She was very serious. _**"Because we constantly have to make decisions, and with every decision we make, we hurt someone; not because we wanted it, but because you can't please everybody. It's not bad, it's not mean; it's part of our nature. Do you really think that you've never ever hurt anyone?"**_ Amanda asked rhetorically and Freckles looked at her kind of annoyed and then she shrugged. _**"Well, you did; a lot of times. Of course it wasn't intentionally. What is bad is when you're aware that you're hurting someone, when you want it. Because there's something vicious on it, something that it's an empty feeling, something that only makes you a bad person, that makes you feel bad emotions."**_ Amanda said now in disgust and very bitterly, apparently she was thoughtful, because she was frowning. _**"And at the end, you end up being the hurt one, not the person you hurt. Because at least the person you hurt has someone to lean on; but the other person, the person who caused pain in another one, that person doesn't have anyone, that person is alone, because everybody, sooner or later, realizes that that person isn't good."**_ Mandy said firmly and wisely. Her eyes were shinning as if she wanted to cry, but she didn't. Freckles, on the other hand, was looking down. _**"So you can hurt Darren, the guy who's giving you everything of him; but now you're aware of all you'll cause and all you'll feel."**_

What Amanda said surprised me, I never thought she could have this sensitive way and she said it very wisely. Freckles stayed silent and I wiped my tears away while I tried to calm before looking at Freckles again. She was already looking at me, now she was serious but there was something else. I looked at her intensely, still feeling very heartbroken. When I looked into her beautiful eyes I felt even worse. Those eyes were used to look at me in a loving way and now those eyes were looking at me in gloomy way. We stared into each other's eyes for a long time and no one spoke. Her words 'a break up' popped in my mind again and I couldn't help it but shed a tear. She looked down as soon as she saw it. Dammit, I didn't want to do it in front of her. Fuck, I really needed to get away now, awful tears were coming again. _You're a boy; do not cry in front of girls, Everett_. I repeated in my mind.

_**"I feel bad."**_ Freckles suddenly said in a whisper. _**"I don't want to try it anymore. I don't understand why this is happening to me. I try and try but things get worse and worse and I just don't want it anymore. People hate me and people who still care about me will soon walk away as everything in my life. I'm tired of trying, I'm tired of feeling letdown, I'm tired of being misplaced and mistreated, I'm tired of being underestimated and hated. I'm tired of waking up every day and have false hopes that everything is gonna get better but actually it doesn't."**_ Freckles said finally showing her real feelings. She was sorrowful that it was hurtful. I only looked at her sadly but she never looked at me. _**"I only want to completely disappear."**_ She whispered gloomy, shedding a tear in silence.

_**"You know? As years pass by, the bullying and the youth suicide increase insanely in America; and not only in America, also all around the world. So you see, you're not the first one to feel like this because of bullying; and you're not gonna be the last one."**_ Amanda said after a while, kneeling next to her sister, right in front of me.

_**"What are you saying? That because other kids are going through the same situation than me, I'm not allowed to feel bad?"**_ Freckles asked in disbelief, frowning at her sister.

_**"No, I'm not saying that."**_ Amanda denied quickly. _**"I'm saying that you aren't alone. There are a lot of people who feel the same; some of them, sadly, have committed suicide; but others could keep going because they could found their real purpose in life; because they've learned how to love themselves, they finally figured out that people who hurt them, are not worthy; so they kept going."**_ Mandy said looking at Freckles deeply into her eyes while Freckles was looking at Mandy with teary eyes. _**"Now it's up to you to decide which way you'd take. No one is gonna force you, but you should know that, even though you can't see it, a lot of people will suffer if we lose you. Including me, including Darren."**_ Amanda said with tears in her eyes, still looking at Freckles straight in her eye. I also looked deeply into her eyes. Amanda was managing this situation and I was very thankful because I couldn't talk.

_**"I don't know how to make it. I don't know how to keep going, I can't find the way." **_Freckles said desperate with teary voice. I was still hurt because of her words, but more hurtful was to hear her saying that so desperately.

_**"Start over again."**_ Mandy answered with a fond smile. _**"Even if you feel tired. Even if the victory abandons you. Even if a mistake hurts you. Even if a business is bankrupt. Even if a betrayal hurts you. Even if a hope fades. Even if the pain burns your eyes. Even if people ignore your effort. Even if the ingratitude is the payment. Even if the incomprehension shuts off your laugh. Even if everything seems nothing. Start over again."**_ She said so wonderfully that made Freckles cry, this time because of her thrill. _**"Because starting over again is not about come unstuck. Starting over again is about to give yourself a new chance, to resume dreams, to fight for that you want, to be true to yourself and search the happiness. So don't be afraid to start over again because each day is a new chance."**_ Mandy said sweetly, holding her sister's hands. _**"Remember that it doesn't matter how hard the fall is, just get up and show the world that it doesn't matter how strong the beat is, it's not the strong enough to stop you."**_

Whoa, what Mandy was saying was truly inspirational; I could have never said something as beautiful as her. And the most important is that Freckles got it, that Amanda has touched Freckles' heart, something I couldn't get to do. The two sisters hugged each other in a warm and comforting hug for a very long time. I was glad to see that, but however I was also feeling bad because it was as if I were invisible to them. No one of them realized I was still there. I had to look away again to hold back the awful tears and then my phone buzzed.

**"How does it feel to have been dumped by the geek girl? How does it feel to be left beside? How does it feel to be worried about your parents and whatever happened to them and at the same time be broken because the girl you love doesn't want you, a stupid and naive guy? Sad, isn't it? I feel pity for you, Criss, my condolences. -W-"**

Oh man, awful tears again, I couldn't help it; I was feeling very sensitive as a little kid. I just couldn't stay there and cry in front of them, I needed to go away, at least to hide until I could be calmed. I needed to find a good excuse. I stood up and I attempted to leave in silence, maybe they weren't going to notice it. But unfortunately, Mandy did.

_**"Where are you going, Darren?"**_ She asked curious.

_**"Uhm... I'm just... Chuck texted me, we need to talk so... I was just... I was going to..."**_ I started babbling very nervous. I really didn't know what to say and the lump in my throat barely was letting me to speak.

_**"You need privacy, I get it. Alright, just go. We'll be here."**_ Mandy said smiling friendly and I nodded like a jerk.

Before turning around, I glanced at Freckles, who was looking away. With a bad feeling in my heart I walked away from there as fast as I could. I pulled out my phone to pretend I was talking to Chuck until I hid behind the same bush than earlier. I let my body drop in the grass and I held my legs as I rested my head on my knees to start crying all the tears I truly wanted to cry since Freckles broke up with me. I cried a lot but in silence because I didn't want the sisters to hear me crying. It was one of the most heartrending crying I've ever cried. I never thought that a break up could be as painful as it was being. Why was this happening? Why? Why couldn't I be with her? Why couldn't I make her happy? Why couldn't she just take my love? I needed her; I just couldn't be without her. Like I fool I imagined my life with her, and now it was only an illusion. All of my dreams with her were breaking into pieces, fading away and I just didn't know how to hold those pieces. It was awful, it was an awful feeling and I couldn't stop crying; I was aware that I needed to stop, but I simply couldn't. While I was still crying, I felt something heavy hitting my head and I felt how my entire body weakened until I couldn't move, until I couldn't see anything, until I lost consciousness.

* * *

You were really hurt for what your sister had done, but then she told you very inspiring things that made you change your mind. This time W got to make you feel things that you haven't felt before and when your sister talked to you with reasonableness, you realized how wrong the things that W made you think were. If it weren't for your sister, you surely would have done something stupid. Actually, you did something stupid. You made Darren feel miserable and he didn't deserve it. You told him rude things and his beautiful hazel eyes were so sad that you could notice that you broke his heart. And it was worse when you broke up with him; his look destroyed your heart, but you hid it. You didn't know why you did it if you were sure that you loved him. But everything was because of W' fault.

_**"Where is Darren?"**_ You suddenly asked.

_**"I don't know, he said he had to talk to his brother."**_ Mandy answered shrugging.

_**"I know, but it's been a long time already."**_ You said frowning and your sister nodded, also frowning. _**"Have you seen which way he walked?"**_

_**"Yeah, he went behind that bush."**_ Mandy answered and you stood up quickly.

_**"I'll look for him. It's late and we need to get some sleep, tomorrow we have to go to school." **_You said quietly and your sister nodded in agreement.

You walked alone to the bush, but you didn't find Darren there. You walked around there to see if he was near there, but he wasn't there. Anyway, you kept walking until you were already far from your old house. He couldn't have walked so away from there. But there was no signal of him anywhere. Maybe he decided to come back to his house, but he didn't tell you anything, he didn't even text you. Maybe because he was mad at you. No, but it wasn't possible, that attitude wasn't typical of Darren; no matter how mad he could be at you, he'd always advise you if he was leaving. You checked your phone to see if Darren has texted you, but there was nothing. You came back to where Mandy was and you looked at her frowning.

_**"He isn't anywhere. I looked for him all around, but he isn't here. Has he texted you or something?"**_ You asked suspiciously.

_**"No, he hasn't."**_ Amanda answered, shaking her head. _**"Maybe he just came back to his house."**_

_**"I don't think so; he'd have told me."**_ You said thoughtful and now concerned.

_**"Well, maybe he was feeling bad and wanted to come back and he forgot to notify you."**_ Mandy answered shrugging.

_**"No, Darren is not like that, Mandy."**_ You said concerned. _**"I'll call him, give me a minute."**_

Your sister nodded again and you called him. Voicemail. Oh well, that was too weird. His phone always was turned on and, besides, supposedly, he has been talking to his brother. Maybe it was only a chance, so you called him again. Over again, voicemail.

_**"He wouldn't take my calls."**_ You said frowning and concerned.

_**"Give him time. He didn't seem to be doing fine."**_ Amanda replied softly. That was all because of your fault. If only you could find him to apologize... _**"Have you really meant it?"**_ Your sister suddenly asked.

_**"What?"**_

_**"The break up."**_ She said looking at you as you looked down.

_**"No."**_ You answered honestly. _**"I don't know why I've done it, I was just a mess. I do love him, Mandy."**_

_**"Yeah, I know. But when you said it all... I don't know, it just sounded so real, as if that was what you truly wanted."**_ Mandy said frowning. _**"Is good to know that you didn't mean it, that boy really loves you and he's a good guy. Not every guy would say the things he said to you; trust me; it's me the one who's saying this. I have experience with guys."**_

_**"Yeah, I know..."**_ You said looking down, feeling guilty.

_**"Hey, why are you so down?"**_ Mandy asked, lifting your chin.

_**"I don't know... He didn't deserve to hear all the rude things I said. I don't know if he could... forgive me."**_ You said again looking down and your sister caressed your hair.

_**"He's gonna forgive you. Because he loves you, he understands you in a way nobody else does."**_ Mandy said sweetly.

_**"But I hurt him. And I feel exactly as you described how I was going to feel."**_ You said feeling more than guilty now.

_**"But you regret it, and I know it wasn't your intention to hurt him; it was only because you're a mess now."**_ Mandy said and you shook your head.

_**"No, the worse thing is that I meant to hurt him in that moment."**_ You admitted feeling awful, now shedding tears. _**"I feel horrible!"**_

_**"Hey, well..."**_ You sister said kind of nervous. You knew she didn't know what to say now. _**"Sometimes we mean to hurt people not because we're mean, but because is like a method of self-defense and self-protection from others when we feel defenseless and scared. I know that is what happened to you. If you explain him that, he's gonna forgive you, I'm sure." **_

_**"I don't know! I wish I could go back in time to never have said that. I just don't wanna lose him, he's... He's the one who always was there for me and the one who made me feel really loved for the very first time, Mandy!"**_ You said crying.

_**"I know, I know..."**_ Your sister said hugging you and rubbing your back to reassure you. _**"I'm gonna tell you a little secret..." **_Mandy whispered and you looked at her intrigued, wiping your tears away._** "Darren and I once talked about you; and when he was talking about you, he didn't need to tell me anything to realize that you're everything for him."**_ She said smiling fondly and you smiled slightly. _**"You see, not only you feel that for him, he also feels the same for you. And in high school is hard to find a boy who can love you for who you are and not for how you look; even harder is to find someone who wants to start something serious with you and not only to hook up. That's why you two are so special together. That's why I know you're gonna last, so don't worry, little sis."**_

_**"Thanks."**_ You said smiling shyly but kindly as your sister smiled fondly.

_**"It's beautiful to see my little sister so in love with a good guy." **_She admitted with such honesty that was hard to believe.

Before you could answer her something, your phone buzzed and you looked at it desperately. Maybe it was Darren and it was to tell you where he was; you needed to know where he was because you needed to talk to him, you needed to apologize, you needed to tell him that he was your love and you wanted him forever. But it wasn't Darren.

**"I think there has been already so much drama and I don't like it. I like games and have fun so... why don't we play hide and seek? -W-" **

You read that text message and at first you felt disappointed because it wasn't Darren, but then you started to suspect about this. This was the first text message from W that wasn't aggressive and that was weird. Why would W want to play hide and seek?

**"Oh, sorry! I didn't tell you who you have to find! Well, easy... Your ex-boyfriend has disappeared, hasn't he? Go and look for him! -W-" **

After you read that text message you looked at Amanda, confused, suspiciously and frowning. As soon as your sister noticed your face, she looked at you concerned and took your phone to read the text messages.

_**"This is not good."**_ Mandy said very worried, now looking around.

_**"Why not? Do you know what's happening?"**_ You asked suspiciously.

_**"Yes, if we don't find Darren now, they're gonna get him. Come on, hurry up; we must find him!"**_ You sister said very edgy and grabbed your hand to start running.

You barely knew what was happening, but you ran with your sister who was leading you to a place you didn't know. You didn't even know if she knew where you two were going, but she kept screaming Darren's name persistently. You were feeling very scared and worried. Did it really mean that they could like... kidnap Darren? Oh no, for god's sake! You really needed to find him, then. So you also started screaming his name. But you couldn't hear any kind of Darren's response; you didn't hear his voice in any moment and he didn't appear. Where could he be? Everything was very dark and it was hard to see. This night seemed to be a horrible night, like in a horror movie. All the sounds, all the shadows, everything was scary and Darren wasn't appearing. Then, your phone buzzed again. You and your sister stopped to read the text message.

**"You can't find him? Oh, c'mon! I'll give you a clue so you'll find him faster. Is not so hard to guess! -W-" **

And with the text message there was a picture of some empty place. Both you and your sister recognized that place. It was the Golden Gate Park, in the Spreckels Lake. Mandy grabbed your hand and you both run to there as fast as you could. How could has Darren gone there if that place wasn't near your old house? It had no sense. While you were still running, your phone buzzed once again.

**"Hurried to find him? Don't worry; he's sleeping as a baby. We've got him and apparently he wants to swim in the lake. He deserves to have fun, don't you think? -W-" **

And with that, W sent you a picture that made you feel completely terrified. Darren was there unconscious and very pale; his feet were already in the lake. In his chest there was a sign that spelled 'Goodbye, cruel world'. This wasn't happening, they couldn't have gotten him; there was no way that W could throw him to the lake while he was unconscious; W wouldn't be able to... kill a person. Oh god, no, you didn't want to think about it. You needed Darren, you needed to get him back, you needed to save him from that monster that W was. You needed to keep him safe as you've always promised. You kept running while tears were falling down your face. Of course you didn't show Mandy the text message or she surely would have freaked out. When you arrived to Spreckels Lake, you and your sister looked all around to find Darren.

_**"He's near the lake, Mandy! Come on, please, let's find him!"**_ You said still crying, very edgy and desperate.

You ran through the paved walkway around the entire edge of the lake. You couldn't find him, he wasn't there yet... Surely W took him somewhere else. You and Amanda started screaming his name again, but he didn't answer. Of course, he was unconscious. But you didn't care, you kept screaming until you saw it... Darren's body was floating in the middle of the lake. You screamed terrified as never before and Mandy looked at you in shock, not getting what was happening. You needed to go for him, you needed to save him, maybe he was still in this world with you, even though he was floating unconscious. You couldn't swim, you have never learned to swim and that lake was deep. But you didn't care, you just ran to the edge of the lake and you jumped in the water before Mandy could have done something about. You swam as you could right to where Darren's unconscious body was floating.


	24. Playing the game

A/N: Hello guys! I updated earlier than usual! Yeah, I wasn't going to be able to update on Saturday, so I updated today. Well, the Iast time I left you with a terrible cliffhanger, judging by the reviews I got! Yeah, I know it was terrible and more terrible was that you had to wait to 2013 to read the next chapter, but here it is! The return of W was kind of intense, right? I wanted to write more action, since it's been a while since the last time W appeared. Well, what I have to say it's that the following chapters are gonna be just as intense, I guess. You'll read more action and you'll find new things. The first part of this story it's coming to its end, guys! Are you excited? I'll tell you something: I planned this story to be shorter than it is; I never thought I could write so many chapters and you still have to read a lot of more chapters. Yes, it's a really long story! But what can I say? You guys and your reviews made me feel better and you encouraged me to keep writing more and more... and more. I love writing for you because I love the way you seem to be into the story, it always makes me smile when I read your reviews and I don't know, sometimes I feel as if I'm doing something right! Thank you for that, Teenage Dream would be nothing without you all and your reviews, advices and constructive criticism. And… I reached the 150 reviews! Geez, that is super crazy! Thanks! Alright, now I'll start answering each one of you!

alicegursk: Alice! I think you were like freaking out when you wrote the review! All your feelings! It was a great review, it made me smile! Yeah, I get it; W is a piece of shit, that asshole! But you know, I wanted to make W' return a bit interesting, and this what I wrote, the crazy idea once I had. I remember myself thinking: All the bad things happen to Freckles, why do not I try it with Darren? After all, this is a fictional story and they're fictional characters and nothing (almost nothing) of what I write is real. Do I need an award for the most outrageous person after the last thing I wrote in the last chapter? Noooo, do not use the gun! W someday will get what deserves for messing with Freckles, Darren and Jen! Or not... Muhahaha, it's a surprise! Yes, Amanda! I always intended to write about her as if she was this mysterious girl who was hiding something and then later realizes all the good things she's missing for being such a bitch! haha. Well, you wished this chapter could be full of happiness, unicorns and Chris Colfer's diet coke (which is awesome!); and well, I can't promise anything, you'll just have to read it! And... I think I have a wife now! You better give me that unicorn as wedding gift, then! Haha

amanecerita83: I haven't really realized that this chapter, precisely this chapter, was going to be the last chapter of 2012! I haven't planned it, but now that I think about it, it was a good chapter to end the 2012, because it's the chapter when the action starts and when you'll find more things about W and all. Well, you see, you had to wait only one day less to read the next chapter, I hope it is a good thing! Thank you for wishing me a happy New Year! I hope you had a good start!

Kaylacriss332: Ouch! I know that it was a terrible cliffhanger and more because it was the last cliffhanger of 2012! I know, I was cruel there; but I can't help it! One of the first things I think when I write a new chapter is about all the things I'll write and most importantly how I'm gonna end it; so the cliffhangers are totally premeditated and that makes me cruel! haha. Well, you didn't have to wait until Saturday to read the new chapter, maybe it makes me a little bit less cruel!

Wow: hahaha do not freak out because the next chapter is here now! Now you'lll get more and you'll find out what happened to Darren! Anxious to read it?

Monique: Did you really like it? I don't know why my cliffhangers are always a topic of conversation! haha Are they that intriguing? Awww thank you for what you said you think that I can't write a better chapter and I prove you wrong! I really try to get better and write more interesting things; sometimes I'm satisfied with what I write and sometimes I think that it was a boring and terrible chapter; but I guess I'm learning everyday how to improve and the reviews help a lot with the advices and stuff! Thanks for thinking that this is an amazing story and that I'm an amazing writer! I don't know if I fully believe it, but you should know that I'll always try to do my best for you to enjoy the story and never get tired of it, because it's a very long story and you'll have this story for more time! By the way (this has nothing to do with the fanfiction) Have you followed me on Twitter? Because the other day (can't remember when) I finally checked my Twitter and Monique Naude is now following me; so I wanted to know if that is you or if I'm completely wrong! Anyway, if that is you, I'm now following you and well, it's been a while since the last time I used Twitter because I do not have much free time, but now that I'm starting vacations, maybe I'll be more often there. And surely I'm boring you with this, so I'll stop talking! Haha

RoseIsabelleCarrow: I don't know why I always smile when I read something like "Oh my freaking wizard god." I love saying that and I love when people say that! Yes, I was cruel when I wrote that about Darren and you'll hate me more after you read this chapter! Poor him! Alright, I won't tell you more so you can read it! But I really wanted to write something like this of Darren, because always all the bad things happen to Freckles and well, it had to change sometime! Yes, I wanted Mandy to really change, but change, grow and mature after a certain important event. Since the beginning I wanted to characterize her for being the popular, cruel and selfish girl who cared only about herself and superficial and material things; and I wanted her to be the girl who has lived wrong and then, with time, realizes that she was wrong and discovers the real important things in life once she's about to lose it all. Because, in certain way, we all can't enjoy the little things of life that truly make us happy until we're about to lose it or, worst case, when we already lost it. I hope I could have made Mandy like that. About the suicide, I always wanted to write about it, just as much as bullying; because it's a reality that it's happening nowadays and I try to give my points of views about it all when I have the chance. I'm ambitious, I know, but it started with Chain Letters when I decided that I wanted to write about serious stuff that happen in real life to give my point of view and maybe to help people who are going through similar situations. I always wanted to help people, I never knew how to do it because I'm not good at talking and opening up to someone and I like to write, so maybe I could put it in words and share it with people. I don't even know if what I write helps people, but I wish it could be like that. Anyway, I didn't write so much about suicide because I'm saving that topic for later and I'll elaborate on the topic. Okay, I think I've talked a lot and I may be boring you, so I promise I'll stop! I hope you can enjoy this new chapter and thanks for your words!

caarolineboeira1: Hi! You don't have to be sorry, really! It doesn't matter if you can't review soon, I'm more than glad that I get always a review from you and that is really awesome and I do thank you for that! :) Business? That seems hard! I guess it's because I always sucked at it, I suck at so many things that better I'll stuck with architecture, the only thing I can feel good enough! :P Aww, I also like that line, imagine Darren telling you something like that, I'll be crazy and screaming of happiness! haha. I know, maybe it was something silly to write about a break up; but there I wanted to show how insecure she can be for all the she found out; like when you're freaking out, disappointed and sad that you really don't think what you say and then you regret. Mandy, Mandy, Mandy; wasn't she always so suspicious? Before starting writing Teenage Dream, I never thought about Mandy being involved on this, but with time I thought that maybe it was a good idea, a good excuse to show how people can change for better when realize and admit that they've done something wrong; because, after all, that is how we learn to be better human beings, from our mistakes! Weird way of learning, isn't it? Maybe I'm crazy and maybe he's gonna be dead and he'll turn into a zombie now and the Darren we know actually it's a zombie, a funny and cute zombie! haha I'm just kidding and making up on my mind silly things. Yeah, I guess I'm not that crazy. Once I wrote a short story (a fantastic and unrealistic one) in which Darren not only died once, but three times. The story didn't end in a bad way; but no one liked it! haha. Of course, I wouldn't like it either. He's the boy who lived not died! Well, now you had to wait until Friday to read this chapter and I hope it's a good thing!

Mockingjay-Potterhead: Ouch! I wasn't in the city to change my mind and update earlier than usual! I'm sorry! Yes, it was one of the worst cliffhangers and I know you might be very intrigued to find out what the hell happened to Darren! Well, you'll know it in this chapter! The action has begun and the return of W is gonna be terrible! Aww, thank for your words! It's really nice and crazy to read that you think that my writing is insipiring! I pledged to write about serious stuff that happen nowadays, sometimes it seems I forget about it and I write about other things; but from time to time I try to write implicit advices, from my point of view (doesn't mean that my advices are fully right because it depends on each person and the existing diversity). But well, it means a lot to me what you said; so thank you very much!

Sarah: Yay! I'm very happy that you like more action in the story! I gotta admit that I like writing action and I always wanted to write something with action and mystery, but I always ended up writing about love, friendship and stuff. So this is something new for me and I'm glad that I'm trying new things and that you like it. In the next chapters you'll get also more action and I hope you can enjoy it soon. And well, well, soon you'll find out who W is! Do you suspect of someone? Maybe it's obvious, or not... The end of this first part is coming closer!

vicky: Because I'm the cruelest person you'll ever meet! And also because I have an obsession with cliffhangers! This is the first time I got your review! So welcome! Thank you for reading this story! :)

MeMi83: First of all: Welcome! You're new here and I'm super happy to know that you're reading this silly story! It's always amazing for me to know that more people read this story! It makes me really happy to know that you like this story and I hope to never disappoint you! Thank you! I always try to make the story interesting so that explains the plot twists as you said; I don't want to bore anyone with the story considering it's a long story. I know that sometimes, some things of the story are boring or pointless; but I try to find the way to write funny or lovely things from time to time as I also try to find the way to write more action and suspense. I'll keep writing and you'll get more of Teenage Dream for a really long time! I never planned this story to be this long, but oh well, it just happened! I only hope that you can keep liking it and finding it interesting! And soon, very soon, you'll find out who W is!

Gabby: You don't have to be sorry! It's okay if you couldn't review! It's enough for me to know that you keep reading this story and you didn't get bored of it! I know that what happened to Darren is terrible and in this chapter you'll find out what exactly happened to him! And yeah, W is such an asshole, right? And soon you'll find out who that person is! Yes, I think that everybody suspected of Amanda! She wasn't so nice and her actions were suspicious, as if she was hiding something and now you know what she was hiding! And yeah, this situation taught her that she was wrong and she wants to change for the better; or maybe not! You'll know!

Whoa! I really need to stop talking too much! This was really long, but I can't help it! I always end up talking a lot. Sorry! Now I'll let you read this new chapter so you'll find out what happened to Darren! Enjoy it! :) Have a lovely week and until next Saturday, guys!

* * *

**Teenage Dream – Part 24 – Playing the game.**

* * *

While you were trying to swim to him, you almost drowned; but for some inexplicable reasons, you were in fact swimming, as if you magically could swim only to save your love and best friend. You tried to do it the best you could and finally you arrived to where he was floating unconscious. You grabbed him by the sleeve of his shirt and you pulled him closer to you to then realize... It was only a doll with his clothes.

_**"It's a fucking doll!"**_ You yelled angrily and you clung to the doll, so you could float with it to the edge of the lake.

You didn't know what to feel, if anger because of this ambush and cruel joke; or relieved because that body wasn't actually Darren's body. Because as soon as you saw that body, you knew it wasn't alive, only that you didn't want to admit it. Instead, you started shedding tears because of the fear and the adrenalin recently felt. You finally arrived to the edge of the lake and Mandy helped you to get out of the lake, as she gave you her coat. It wasn't so cold, but the cool breeze was freezing you. Your sister hugged you tightly and rubbed your back energetically to warm you up while she started scolding you.

_**"Are you completely insane? Are you out of yourself? How could have you jumped to the lake if you can't swim? You could have died in there!"**_ She yelled very upset but nervous.

_**"It was about Darren, Mandy! I saw Darren there and I needed to save him! He was there unconscious; I would never leave him there!"**_ You defended yourself, still trembling because of the fear.

_**"But you could at least have told me!"**_ Mandy yelled again.

_**"You also can't swim, Mandy!"**_ You yelled with trembling voice. _**"It doesn't fucking matter because it was a damn doll!"**_ You screamed in tears, desperate and angry. _** "Those are his clothes, Mandy! Those are his clothes! I could smell his perfume!"**_

_**"Alright, calm down."**_ Mandy said now looking deeply into your eyes and placing her hands on your shoulders. _**"He must not be away from here."**_

_**"I need to find him, Amanda!"**_ You yelled desperate and edgy.

_**"And we will. You just need to calm down."**_ Amanda said quietly.

_**"I can't calm down! They've got my boyfriend! They've kidnaped him! How do you expect me to calm down? How the fuck?"**_ You yelled out of yourself, in shock and very terrified until your sister slapped you and you looked at her astonished and in silence.

_**"I'm sorry. You needed to calm down somehow."**_ She apologized and you started to take deep breathes. _**"Let's go find your boyfriend."**_ Amanda said determined, but right there your phone buzzed.

**"It was a big fright, wasn't it? But it's interesting how much you can do for your ex-boyfriend. Let's see what else you can do... Hide and seek! Go and find him before is too late! He could end up drowned for real now... -W-" **

You read it and your body started trembling again, your heart started beating fast again and you could barely breathe. Your sister also read the text message and she seemed to be thoughtful now. You, unlike your sister, couldn't think about anything. You only wanted to find Darren and you also wanted to find W, who was right there, in the same place than you. You needed to know if it was Susan or not.

_**"Let's go! I know where he could be!"**_ Mandy exclaimed energetically and she grabbed your hand to lead you to somewhere.

_**"Where?"**_ You asked while you were running.

_**"The Stow Lake!"**_ She exclaimed energetically again.

_**"How do you know?"**_ You asked curious.

_**"Well, the text message said that it could happen for real now; we know he isn't here... And the other important lake in this park is the Stow Lake."**_ She answered quickly and you looked at her stunned, while still running.

_**"You're a genius, Mandy!"**_ You exclaimed, admiring your sister.

_**"I learned from the best. You."**_ She smiled brightly while you were still running.

You finally arrived there and you started searching for him. Amanda and you decided to go different ways so you could find him faster. At first, Amanda refused to do it because it was dangerous; but then you convinced her. You were feeling very tired, but you wouldn't stop searching untiringly for Darren until you find him. You were losing your hopes until you saw, in the distance, a man's figure walking through one of the bridges that connected to the inner island. You ran to there, you were sure it was Darren. But... Was he walking? Because you saw him unconscious in the picture. Now you stopped running to walk to there, gingerly and scared. What if that person over there was W? You didn't have anything at all to protect yourself. You crouched and grabbed a stone that was on the grass. Then you kept walking to there, very slowly. When you were the close enough, you noticed that it was Darren indeed. You let out the stone and you ran to him, screaming his name. He didn't look at you, he didn't answer; but you kept running. He would be completely naked if it wasn't because of his underwear. You ran to him and then you jumped to him to hug him tightly and to weep in relief. He didn't hug you back and he didn't do any kind of movement; but you didn't care because he was safe now, he was with you now. He was cold and his body was fragile. You finally looked at him and what you saw scared you. He was very pale and his lips were almost violet because of the cold. His eyes were swollen and red; his pupils were dilated and he couldn't focus his sight. He was like lost.

_**"Darren, look at me." **_You said firmly and almost bossy, but Darren didn't look at you. His gaze was really lost. _**"Darren."**_ You said louder and bossy. He finally looked at you, but he was still lost. _**"Are you okay?"**_ You asked worried.

_**"You so funny, like a cartoon. I like you."**_ He said babbling, still with his gaze lost but trying to look at your face. _**"Do you wanna swim?" **_

_**"No, I don't want."**_ You said serious.

He wasn't fine and you needed to take him at hospital or at his house. But first, you needed to warm him up, so you gave him the coat that Mandy lend you. He only grabbed it and looked at it with eyes wide open. You looked at him very intently and you were getting very nervous now. What was wrong with him? You took the coat again and you dressed him because, apparently, he didn't seem to be able to do it by himself. He let you doing so in silence. Then you hugged him and started rubbing his back; just as your sister has done with you. He placed his hands on your hips and got closer, as he started kissing your neck. What?

_**"This is hot."**_ Darren babbled.

He placed his hands underneath your wet shirt and he started pulling you closer. Oh well, you were so close that you could feel that he was already hard, considering that he was like pressing his hips against yours. He started kissing your neck again and to lick it. It felt really good, but you needed to stop him, because he wasn't fine, something was bad, really bad with him. You placed your hands on his shoulders and pulled him away softly.

_**"Stop, Darren."**_ You said firmly and he tried to look at you.

_**"Wanna swim now?"**_ He asked stammering.

_**"No, I said no."**_ You said firmly and he placed his hands on your hips again.

_**"Come on, let's go swim, is fun!"**_ He said pulling you with him near the edge of the lake.

_**"Stop, Darren!"**_ You said trying to stop him, but he was stronger and he wasn't listening. Then you took all the courage to seem as bossy and scary as never before. _**"Darren Everett Criss. Stop right now."**_

And it worked. He was now looking at you with eyes wide open and almost innocently. Then you heard some steps running to you. You turned around quickly to find Mandy. But then you heard a plunge in the water. You rolled your eyes and then you turned around resigned, to see that Darren was now in the water, of course wearing the coat.

_**"What is wrong with him?"**_ Mandy asked frowning and confused.

_**"I don't know; he's acting weird..."**_ You said looking at Darren who wouldn't stop laughing.

_**"Join me, cartoon girl!"**_ Darren yelled from the water.

_**"Cartoon girl?" **_Mandy asked very confused.

_**"Yeah, he called me like that."**_ You replied frowning. _**"Help me to take him out from there."**_ You asked and Mandy nodded, so you both walked to the shore. _**"Give me your hand, Darren. We need to go."**_ You said extending your hand.

_**"To get candies?"**_ He asked excited and you frowned, exchanging a look with your sister, who nodded.

_**"Yes, to get candies."**_ You lied, but Darren took your hand.

Damn. You should have guessed it. He pulled you to the water with him. You almost drowned, but Darren placed his hands on your waist and he pulled you up. Of course he also pulled you closer; and of course you clung to him, wrapping your legs around his waist and your arms around his neck not to drown again. Of course now he placed his hands on your hips and pulled you even closer, something that didn't seem possible to do. Of course you looked at him befuddled, because he looked completely beautiful all wet, with some drops falling from his curls. But you needed to focus why you were there and it was because Darren wasn't fine... His pupils were still dilated. But how could you focus on it if Darren was now smiling at you in a very sensual way? How to focus if he was now kissing the corner of your lips? This boy was your perdition.

_**"You're sexy."**_ He whispered in front of your lips before he kissed them passionately but a bit awkwardly.

_**"Sister!"**_ You heard a yell behind you. Yes, you needed to get out of there.

_**"Could you take me to the shore? I'm cold."**_ You asked Darren, seeing if in this way this was going to work.

_**"Everything for the sexy lady."**_ He whispered with the same sensual smile.

And he did so. He took you to the shore and he helped you to get out from the water. He also got out of the water and then he snuggled to you, as if he was a little kid. He was trembling, of course, he was cold. But you couldn't give him any clothes.

_**"For god's sake!"**_ Mandy exclaimed bewildered next to you. _**"They've been drugged him."**_

_**"What? How do you know it?" **_You asked concerned, now looking at Darren, who was still snuggled to you, trembling.

_**"I've seen a lot of people high. See? His pupils are dilated and he's very pale, his vocalization is unclear and he's having problems with night vision. He's been very elated and accelerated and now he's somnolent. Look at his arm, there's a needle stick, they injected him... Surely it was heroin."**_ Mandy said very concerned and you looked at her puzzled. How did she know a lot about it? Then you looked at Darren, who now had his eyes closed.

_**"How could they?"**_ You asked very worried and distressed. _**"Is he gonna get better?" **_

_**"Yes. He needs to drink a lot of water and we need to take him home as soon as we can or he's gonna catch a hypothermia."**_ Mandy said and you nodded, still feeling very worried about him.

Darren was already sleeping, so Mandy helped you to carry him home. You crossed one of his arms around your back and so did Mandy. This way, the two of you arrived at Darren's house after a while. He wasn't fat, but he was heavy; so it was hard to take him home. When you arrived to his house, you were very nervous. How would you explain his parents this situation? Mandy told you that probably you should tell them that he suddenly fainted because of the blood pressure and the wet thing... well; it was because you were walking in the park near the lake so you two fell into the water when he fainted. You couldn't think about something else, so that was what you were going to tell them. Oh, you didn't like to lie; but it was the best option.

_**"Are you sure that you're going to be fine?"**_ Mandy asked concerned and you only nodded. _**"Fine, remember to give him a lot of water, he's gonna need it. And if possible, sleep with him tonight because he could vomit and well, I know it sounds disgusting, but he can choke on his own vomit."**_ Mandy said serious and you nodded again. _**"Good. Goodnight, sis. See you tomorrow in school."**_ She said kissing your cheek and you smiled slightly. _**"Please, take care."**_

Darren was still unconscious, so you crossed his arm firmly around your back and you placed a hand over his hand and the other hand on his waist. Like this, you walked to the front door. You didn't even need to knock the door, because Chuck opened it quickly. He looked worried at his little and unconscious brother and then he looked at you terrified.

_**"What the hell has happened?"**_ He asked very serious and puzzled.

_**"Darren? Freckles?"**_ Jen asked from behind, now appearing to look at you both horrified. _**"What has happened?" **_

_**"I... He... He has fainted..."**_ You replied edgy, stuttering. You didn't know how to lie. Damn it.

_**"Do not lie to me. Tell me the truth."**_ Chuck demanded bossy. You were so scared now; they were going to hate you.

_**"I... I was with my sister... And then he left... And he disappeared. I found him in the Golden Gate Park. He was drugged." **_You answered while crying because of your nervousness and your distress. Jen looked at you with eyes wide open, as if she knew that W was involved on this. Chuck, instead, looked at you kind of mad.

_**"Have you drugged him?"**_ He asked in disbelief.

_**"No, I haven't!"**_ You denied quickly. _**"I just found him like this!" **_

_**"You're lying!"**_ Chuck said upset and you felt even worse, more frightened.

_**"Chuck, she's telling the truth. I know it."**_ Jen said quietly, placing a hand on his shoulder and Chuck calmed. _**"Just... Let's help her to take him to his bedroom."**_

_**"Yeah."**_ Chuck answered coldly and he crossed the other arm of Darren around his back. _**"Let's be quiet. Mom and dad are already sleeping and they wouldn't like to see Darren like this. If they ask, you two were walking because you were feeling bad and needed to take fresh air."**_

_**"Fine."**_ You answered gloomy.

Like this, you took Darren to his bedroom and left him in his bed. You needed to dress him with dry clothes, but you were too shy to do it in front of Jen and Chuck. You remained there, not knowing what to do or say. You needed to ask Chuck if you could sleep with Darren only for this night and you knew he wouldn't want, less after he witnessed this situation and he was thinking that you were the guilty one.

_**"I was wondering if... If I could sleep here, only for tonight."**_ You asked shyly, looking down.

_**"I don't think is a good idea."**_ Chuck answered coldly.

_**"Chuck."**_ Jen said serious. _**"Maybe is better if she stays here, just in case something bad happens to Darren in the night."**_

_**"I don't know..." **_He said unsure. _**"If my parents see that they're sleeping together..." **_

_**"Then we'll tell them that it was because Freckles was feeling really bad and she needed to be near him to sleep well, she was having nightmares or something like that. They'll understand it." **_Jen said quietly and you smiled at her faintly to show her your gratitude.

_**"Okay, fine."**_ Chuck agreed. _**"Just take care of him, please."**_ He begged looking at you.

_**"Will do, I promise."**_ You assured and apparently he felt more relaxed.

_**"Chuck... Could you leave us alone for a while? I need to have a girl's conversation with Freckles."**_ Jen asked looking at Chuck and he nodded.

_**"Goodnight."**_ He greeted and then he left Darren's bedroom. When Chuck wasn't near, Jen looked at you worried.

_**"Was this all because of W?"**_ She asked in a whisper and you nodded sadly._** "Has W drugged him?"**_

_**"Yes. They've kidnapped him, Jen."**_ You answered now shedding tears of distress and guilt. _**"I wanted to find him on time, but it was late!" **_

_**"Oh my God." **_She exclaimed terrified and then she hugged you. _**"It's not your fault, Freckles." **_

You told Jen all that happened. You started telling her the conversation you had with your sister and how she was one of the members of W team. You told her how you treated Darren in a bad way and you were sorry, you told her how he disappeared and how your sister helped you to find him. You showed her all the threatening text messages from W, all the pictures. Then you told her how W ambushed you with that doll wearing Darren's clothes and how then you really found him. She was astonished and incredulous. She tried to convince you all the time that it wasn't your fault and then she helped you to dress Darren with dry clothes.

_**"I'll sleep in your bedroom. If you need any help, just call me. Okay?"**_ Jen said kindly and you nodded and smiled. _**"Goodnight, Freckles. And thanks, for saving Darren." **_

You lay in bed next to Darren and you looked at him deeply. He was now peacefully sleeping and you couldn't help it but shedding some tears. For little, you almost lost this boy who was the person you loved with all your being. How could have you left him alone in that moment? How could have you treated him in a bad way? How has this all happened? How could have W drugged him? This was insane. And you knew this was your entire fault; you wished that Darren could forgive you sometime. He now snuggled up to you and wrapped his arms around your waist, placing his head on your chest. And he smiled faintly. He seemed to be happily sleeping and you only hurt him. You hurt the boy you loved. Still weeping, you slowly ran your fingers through his curls and he smiled as if he was enjoying it. Then you kissed his temple and caressed his cheek.

_**"Please forgive me. I do love you."**_ You whispered and you heard a sound coming out from Darren's mouth, but you couldn't tell what he said.

* * *

_**"Drink this water, you'll feel better, I promise."**_ I heard her sweet voice.

I just drank it, not so aware of why I was doing it or why I had to do it. But her voice was telling me that it was the best option; that voice would never tell me to do something to hurt me. I knew I was in my house, I knew I was in my bedroom, I knew I was in my bed, I knew I was with her. I didn't know how actually I arrived here; I didn't know what happened after I was in her old house talking to her and her sister... I had flashbacks of me being at the park, of me seeing weird and unnatural things, of me having difficulties to see, of me feeling my mouth dry, of me having difficulties to breathe; of me feeling exalted and then cold and sleepy, very sleepy. I remembered I was alone and then she arrived magically, I remembered I was happier than ever to have found her there, when I needed her the most because I wasn't feeling good. Now I couldn't stop throwing up, I had no idea what was happening to my body, I couldn't control it. I was throwing up and I wanted it to stop, but it never happened. But she was there with me and that was making me feel better; she was there, taking care of me. She was there rubbing my back, covering me with the blankets, caressing my hair and my cheeks. She was there and with her I felt safe. She was protecting me.

_**"Shh, it's alright." **_

She whispered with her angelic voice, still rubbing my back when I started throwing up again and tears fell down my face because of this, after I drank the water. I didn't want her to see this; I didn't want her to see me like this and I didn't even know why I was like this.

_**"You'll feel better."**_ She said kindly, kissing softly my forehead.

I snuggled up to her, placing my head in her chest and wrapping my arms around her; as searching comfort in her, as searching protection in her, as searching safety in her; as a little boy. I was feeling helpless and she was the only one who could protect me as a mother; but she wasn't my mother, she was different, she was the girl I loved; this was another kind of protection different of a mother protection but not less comfortingly. She held me in her arms and I felt much better; it felt good to be in her arms. Gosh, I didn't want to let her go.

_**"Please, stay with me. Don't leave me."**_ I begged, holding her even tighter, still resting my head on her chest, with my eyes closed. I needed her, not only now but always.

_**"I'll stay."**_ She whispered fondly while caressing my hair.

_**"Promise me that you won't leave me, that you won't walk away; never ever."**_ I begged again desperately.

_**"I promise."**_ She assured.

Those words were the ones I needed to hear to feel safe. Thanks to those words I could sleep again, always feeling her next to me. I still remembered what she told me before; I don't know if minutes ago, hours ago, or even a day ago... I just still remembered when she told me that we shouldn't be together, when she broke up with me. I couldn't deal with it... Why would she want to break up with me if like this we were fine? If I could feel safe in her arms, why wouldn't she feel the same when she was in my arms? What was I doing wrong? I didn't want to do something wrong, less with her. I wanted her to change her mind, I wanted her. Now it was the morning, I knew it; I could feel the sun on my face. I had to go to school, what time was it? I slightly opened my eyes to take a look at the clock. I needed to get ready for school and I was feeling really well, as if nothing happened during the night. I turned around and I saw her. She never left. She was fast asleep and she seemed to be very tired; surely she hadn't slept all night long to take care of me, as she has done. I watched her sleeping while I started caressing her soft hair. Damn, how was it possible to love her this much? I was scared, scared to lose her. I leaned and I kissed her cheek; she opened her eyes slightly. Her eyes were really tired indeed.

_**"Good morning."**_ I whispered softly with a warm smile. She smiled me back and it lit up my day.

_**"Morning."**_ She said sitting on the bed and looking at me worried. _**"How are you feeling? Are you any better? Do you need something? More water? Something to eat?"**_ She asked very quickly and I just giggled because it was cute.

_**"I'm much better. And no, I don't need anything at all."**_ I said smiling sweetly and apparently she felt relieved. _**"Thank you for taking care of me even though..."**_ I said now looking down and biting my lower lip, remembering with anguish her words 'break up.' _**"You know..." **_I finished saying weakly and distressed.

_**"You shouldn't thank me; it's what everybody else would have done."**_ She said and well, it made me feel bad.

I was hoping to hear something like... 'I did it because I love you and I care about you.' or something like that. Maybe I was expecting too much, maybe I should be just thankful for what she did, considering that she didn't want to be with me.

_**"I guess..."**_ I answered shrugging and still looking down. _**"Do you want something for breakfast? I could bring you it here." **_

_**"No, thank you. I don't think it'd be a good idea; you know, being here wasn't proper because... well, because it was like disrespectful to your parents."**_ She answered nervously, looking away and I felt even worse. She didn't want to be here with me.

_**"Good morning, guys."**_ Suddenly my mom entered the room with a warm smile and bringing a tray with breakfast.

Both Freckles and I looked at her abruptly and astonished. It was kind of awkward this situation. I was in bed with my girl... ex-girlfriend and my mom was there... bringing us breakfast in bed? Like, what? My mom never wanted me to be in my bedroom with girls; it took years for her to accept Jen. But now she was aware that Freckles was here and she wasn't even mad; as if she already knew that Freckles was here. Well, surely my mom was fond of Freckles; of course, Freckles was a lovely person. My mom walked to my bed and gave me the tray, while I was still looking at her stunned and Freckles was looking down embarrassed.

_**"How are you feeling, darling?"**_ My mom asked and I was about to answer her, but then I noticed that she was looking at Freckles. I just frowned in confusion.

_**"I'm better, thanks."**_ Freckles answered with a shy smile.

_**"Good to know."**_ My mom smiled fondly and I was still very confused. _**"Anything you need, don't hesitate to ask."**_ My mom said caringly and Freckles nodded with a kind smile. _**"Now I'll leave you alone so you can have breakfast before school. Darren."**_ My mom said and I looked abruptly at her. _**"Please take a shower before school, you look terrible." **_

_**"Well, thanks mom."**_ I said frowning in disbelief. _**"I'll consider it." **_

_**"You won't consider it, you'll do it."**_ My mom said bossy. _**"When was the last time you took a shower?" **_

_**"Mom, stop it."**_ I said looking at her fixedly with eyes wide open, feeling embarrassed. I just hated whenever she asked things like that in front of other people; as if she had no filter.

_**"Just take a shower, Darren."**_ My mom said bossy and then she turned around to leave, but before she looked at Freckles. _**"Darling, what would you like to eat at lunch?"**_ She asked and Freckles raised her eyebrows in surprise, as if she wasn't expecting this question.

_**"Mom, today is my day to choose what to eat!"**_ I complained like a spoiled child.

_**"Not anymore, you'll choose tomorrow. Mondays will be the day that she chooses the food."**_ My mom answered tranquilly and I huffed.

_**"Uhm... I don't know... I..." **_Freckles said nervously, frowning and apparently stunned. Maybe her family wasn't used to choose the food each day. _**"Whatever... Darren, what do you want?" **_She finally asked awkwardly.

_**"No darling, this is your day to choose."**_ My mom said.

_**"Well... I... Maybe pasta?"**_ Freckles answered uncomfortably and my mom nodded with a kind smile before leaving and closing the door behind her.

_**"Pasta... Really?"**_ I asked in disbelief and she looked down.

_**"Well, I didn't know what to say. No one ever asked me what I wanted to eat."**_ She answered kind of uncomfortable and I just looked at her. Something simple as that and no one ever has done it for her.

_**"It's fine. After all, it's Monday and Mondays belong to Garfield... And Garfield loves pasta. Accurate."**_ I said trying to end with this uncomfortable situation and it worked because she chuckled.

_**"You're so silly."**_ She answered still chuckling and I smiled cheerfully. _**"So... when was the last time you took a shower, huh?"**_ She asked amused, now looking at me.

_**"Ugh!"**_ I exclaimed annoyed, huffing. But then I looked at her and her amused smiled and I couldn't help it but smiling. _**"Last Monday."**_ I joked and she looked at me with eyes wide open in disbelief.

_**"You gotta be kidding me!" **_

_**"I am."**_ I answered laughing. _**"But it was worth it. You should have seen your face."**_ I said trying to imitate her face and she laughed.

_**"I'm sure I didn't do that awful face!"**_ She exclaimed still laughing.

_**"You did. But it wasn't awful, it was cute. Hey, not everybody can do this face as gracefully as you do! Don't blame me for having this awful face."**_ I said amused, but pretending to be pouting.

_**"Oh, please."**_ She exclaimed incredulous. _**"Don't play the victim here. You're aware that you have a beautiful face." **_

_**"Have I?"**_ I asked amused, raising an eyebrow seductively.

_**"Just, shut up."**_ She said laughing and I laughed along with her.

_**"Alright, can I ask you something first?"**_ I asked.

_**"You just did."**_ She answered amused and I looked at her just as amused, biting my lower lip.

_**"Oh, so astute."**_ I replied amused and she just chuckled. _**"No, really. Why has my mother asked you if you were fine?"**_

_**"Oh, I guess it was because what Chuck and Jen said."**_ She answered grabbing her cup of coffee and I looked at her still expectant to know. _**"After they saw the situation last night, they thought that the best would be to tell your parents that I slept here because I wasn't feeling good and I was having nightmares."**_

_**"So... Chuck and Jen saw me last night? I just can't remember it; I don't know how I got here."**_ I said frowning, expectant that she could tell me what happened.

_**"Yeah, they saw you. And of course you can't remember because you were sleeping. What's the last thing you remember?" **_She asked serious.

_**"Well, that I was in a park with you and your sister... I... We were on a lake, right?"**_ I asked because I wasn't sure if that was real or it was part of my imagination, as everything seemed to be.

_**"Yes, we were... And from that moment you fell asleep. So you can remember what happened last night."**_ She kind of assured, but actually it was like a question.

_**"Just some of it. I can't tell what actually happened and what was imaginary. I have flashbacks but everything seems unreal, like... things that don't exist... Like, how is it possible that I saw a unicorn last night? It just has no sense."**_ I said troubled and Freckles was still looking at me fixedly and serious. That look was kind of scary.

_**"What do you remember besides that unicorn you saw?"**_ She asked serious but the question seemed to be really ridiculous.

_**"Well, that I was; I don't know how and why, walking alone in this park until I saw you. Then I remember to be in the lake with you. Why were we in a lake?"**_ I asked because I was intrigued, it was so absurd.

_**"You were exalted and you wanted to swim, so you pulled me to the lake with you."**_ She simply answered.

_**"Oh, sorry for that, I guess?"**_ I said frowning because I was still confused and she only nodded.

_**"Before you were in the park... What's the last thing you remember?"**_ She asked as if she was very worried.

_**"I was in your house with you and your sister and... I went away to talk to Chuck."**_ I lied because I'd never admit that actually I went away to cry. _**"And then I felt how something heavy hit my head. From that moment I don't remember anything until I was walking in the park alone."**_

_**"I see... Isn't there something else?"**_ She asked curious.

_**"Well, actually yes. But I don't know if it's something real or not. I heard voices. A woman's voice and a man's voice; but I couldn't see them. The girl was saying something like 'Just do it.' she seemed to be annoyed. And the man was saying something like 'It's not easy to inject this shit.', as if he were complaining."**_ I said frowning and Freckles was now looking away, thoughtful.

_**"Did you recognize those voices?"**_ She asked now looking at me fixedly.

_**"Yeah, those sounded familiar... But I can't remember. I don't know who they were. I can't." **_I answered trying my best to remember but I couldn't.

_**"It's okay..."**_ Freckles answered and looked away again.

_**"Do you know what happened to me?"**_ I asked kind of afflicted. I really needed to know.

_**"Yes."**_ She answered with cracked voice and teary eyes. What was that? _**"They've kidnapped you and they... They have drugged you. I'm so sorry!"**_

_**"What?"**_ I asked terrified. _**"Who?"**_

_**"W. I'm so sorry, I really am!"**_ She exclaimed desperately.

I looked away, still in shock for what I heard. How could have they done it? They kidnapped and drugged me; that was too much. This was insane and completely murky. This was a crime, they were committing serious crimes; this wasn't anymore a simple bullying thing. What would have happened if Freckles wouldn't have found me? What would they have done? How far would they get? Man, I was freaking out; this was really scary. I never ever imagined that something like that could ever happen to me. What could have they done while I was unconscious? I couldn't remember anything at all and that was maddening. I preferred not having received this information. I looked at Freckles again; she was looking at me with teary eyes, apparently feeling guilty because of this situation. I just hugged her, still in shock.

_**"Not your fault. Thank you, thank you a lot for having found me."**_ I said with trembling voice.

_**"Darren!"**_ Suddenly Chuck yelled angrily, getting inside my bedroom.

Freckles and I jumped startled and broke the hug to look at him abruptly and stunned. Oh what the hell? Not right now, Chuck. Whatever he wanted to scold me for, it wasn't the appropriate moment. I just looked at him crestfallen.

_**"Why the hell haven't you told me that someone was threatening you, Jen and Freckles?"**_ He yelled angrily and I looked at him puzzled and then I looked at Freckles kind of upset.

_**"Have you told him?"**_ I asked looking at Freckles very severely.

_**"No, no I haven't."**_ Freckles answered with trembling voice and then she looked at Chuck just as puzzled as me.

_**"I've told him, I'm sorry."**_ Jen suddenly said guiltily, appearing in my bedroom and closing the door. _**"Chuck, I told you not to make a fuss about this."**_ She said now looking at my brother angry.

_**"How do you expect it? Someone has been threatening you since months; someone has kidnapped my brother and drugged him. How do you expect me not to make a fuss of this?"**_ Chuck yelled very furious.

_**"Why have you told him, Jen? We promised not to tell anybody, I can't believe it! You knew how he would get! Why have you done it?"**_ I asked very irritated looking at Jen, who now looked down.

_**"He... He was convinced that Freckles was the one who drugged you and I couldn't leave it there. He wouldn't have believed me otherwise. I'm sorry."**_ Jen said exasperated.

_**"How the fuck would you think that Freckles was the one who drugged me? That's completely insane, Charles."**_ I said really mad at him.

_**"What is insane is that you haven't told me a damn shit about this! Darren, goddammit, are you an idiot? You should have told me!"**_ Chuck said in a rage but also worried and I huffed in annoyance.

_**"I'm not an idiot, you're an idiot! And you too, Jen! We shouldn't have said anything about this, now we are all screwed! Fuck!"**_ I yelled very mad.

_**"What is happening here?"**_ My dad suddenly asked severely, entering in my bedroom.

_**"Nothing is happening here, get out of here! All of you get out of here!"**_ I yelled furiously, not controlling my manners and words.

_**"Darren Everett Criss. You're grounded for a week!"**_ My father said very severely and bossy and I just looked away, frowning and feeling even madder. Everybody else was just looking down in silence. _**"That's not the way to talk to your father! Now get ready for school and beware of your modals, Everett."**_ He said upset, turning around to leave the bedroom.

_**"You all get out of here."**_ I said very irked, looking down and clenching my jaw. _**"Get out!"**_ I yelled now and everybody looked at me astonished.

I wasn't a violent person and I wasn't used to treat people in this way, less people who I loved. But now I was out of control, now everything was going out of control. Mandy was one of the people who was helping W; Freckles broke up with me; W kidnapped and drugged me; Jen broke our promise of not telling this to anybody; my father grounded only me for a week; Chuck now knew that someone was threatening us and that was bad, too bad. I still remembered one of the text messages that W sent to Freckles...

_"Listen, pimple face with fat ass. If you tell anyone how you feel waiting for some kind of help, we're gonna beat you to death; but not only you but all the people who attempt to help you. Would you let them suffer what only you should be suffering? Are you that kind of selfish bitch? We're watching you. -W-"_

Now Chuck knew about it, now I knew he was going to get involved and they were going to start threatening him; they were going to hurt him. I just looking down, feeling a total mess in my mind. No one moved from they were, the only one who stood up was Freckles and I looked up at her, distressed. I just wanted Chuck and Jen to leave, not her. She already left me when she broke up with me, now I didn't want her to completely leave.

_**"This is not good."**_ She said with trembling voice. She was scared; after all, she was the only one who already knew how guilty it felt to involve someone else on this. _**"You shouldn't know about this, Chuck."**_

_**"Why shouldn't I? This is about my brother, and they kidnapped and drugged him, that's a crime!"**_ Chuck exclaimed furious. I didn't want to see them fighting. _**"Sometimes I think you don't care at all about my brother."**_ He said coldly and I looked at Chuck in disbelief and upset. He just did not say that. He had no reasons to say that, he knew that Freckles was the best thing that happened to me lately… So why was he saying that now?

_**"I know and I'm sorry!"**_ Freckles yelled with teary voice and shedding tears. Everybody looked at her stunned. Well, nobody was expecting that kind of reaction. _**"I'm trying my best but sometimes things go out of control and I feel helpless. I see how everybody is suffering and this all is because of my fault and I'm aware of it! There's not a fucking day that I don't think that things would be different if never ever I would have told this! There's not a fucking day that I don't regret of involving Jen and Darren on this, and now you too are involved!"**_ She said afflicted and I noticed how Chuck looked down, feeling guilty to have yelled at her. Jen was also looking down and I was looking at Freckles, feeling bad because she was anguished of this... And all this time holding back those feelings... _**"This is something that I have to solve by myself because it started only with me and I don't want you all to suffer the consequences because of my fault. So I want you all out of this."**_ She said determined, looking down and everybody just looked at her in silence for a long time.

_**"You know I won't stay out of this. If I have to suffer the consequences, good then, I will. This is what I choose. So don't ask me to do something I can't do that is to leave you alone on this."**_ I finally said softly, looking at her even though she wasn't looking at anybody. She only shook her head.

_**"I also choose to suffer the consequences if I have to. We're friends and friends are together always no matter what." **_Jen said after me, also looking at her. Chuck was only looking at all of us, stunned.

_**"No..."**_ She said weakly shaking her head and I quickly stood up and held her hand.

_**"Yes."**_ I assured looking into her eyes and then our eyes met and it was wonderful and so intense. _**"It doesn't matter what happened between us. You're still my best friend and I'm not walking away so easily."**_ I said kindly.

She looked at me thankful, shedding more tears, so I just pulled her into a tight hug. Then we broke the hug and I smiled at her fondly; and she smiled me back faintly. I noticed how Chuck wanted to say something but he was having troubles to say it. I was still kind of mad at him for what he told to Freckles.

_**"I'm sorry, Freckles."**_ He finally said apologetically. _**"I was worried about my brother and I didn't mean those words. I know that you're a good influence for him and you've always been there for him. And I'm sorry for thinking that you were the one who drugged him... That was so stupid to think. I'm just so sorry." **_He finally said feeling very guilty.

_**"I understand you, Chuck. Don't worry."**_ Freckles answered with a soft smile. _**"After all, I'm the one to blame of this situation."**_

_**"No, you're not..."**_ I started saying distressed. She couldn't be thinking that.

_**"We all are guilty for different reasons. But the one responsible of this is that person who's harassing you. I'll find that person, I swear."**_ Chuck said kind of upset.

_**"No Chuck, you'll stay out of this... You don't even go to school and you don't even receive those threatening text messages."**_ I said firmly, looking at him serious and Freckles and Jen nodded.

_**"Do you really think that I'll stay idly while I see the things that this person does to you all?"**_ Chuck asked in disbelief.

_**"No, I don't think so. But you should; more than you should, you have to stay out of the scene."**_ I said firmly again.

_**"No way. I think we should call the police, or tell mom and dad, or talk to the principal."**_ Chuck said worried and thoughtful.

_**"Are you fucking insane? You're not gonna do it. Chuck, that's not way to help, that's a way to send us to the doom. Bro, you have no idea what kind of person is the one who is harassing us."**_ I said kinda terrified. _**"Things won't get better with it; they will get even worse. Neither you nor mom and dad will be there in school, where things happen. And the principal? He's not gonna do a damn shit, he won't believe it 'cause he thinks his school is perfect."**_ I said bitterly and almost sarcastically. _**"Do not dare to do it, Chuck." **_

_**"Fine, will not."**_ He said huffing and frowning. _**"But I won't stay idly..."**_ He said annoyed. _**"That person will know that shouldn't mess with you all." **_

That was the last thing he said before he turned around and left my bedroom. Jen looked at us apologetically and she said sorry over again until she also left my bedroom. Then I was alone with Freckles again and the situation was a bit uncomfortable.

_**"I'll take a shower, so then we can go to school."**_

I said to break the uncomfortable situation. She only nodded and left my bedroom, probably to take a shower in her bathroom. Oh shower, the perfect place to think over a lot of things, like almost philosophically; a lot of times I found myself thinking about the origins of life and its sense while taking a shower, but this time all I could think about was about W and the fact they've kidnapped and drugged me; but mostly, I thought about Freckles. It was hurtful to feel her distant, it was hurtful to have her and at the same time not have her at all. I thought and thought about which the reasons of the break up could have been, but I couldn't understand. She wouldn't come back with me... Unless if I do something. Yeah, I needed it; I needed to get her back and for that, I needed to do something. So we all went to school. I was kind of scared, I didn't know how it was going to be, how W was going to react; but I took the nuts to walk around as if nothing odd was happening. It wasn't long until we passed Jim on the way. I looked at him very furiously and he looked at me with a cocky and derogatory smile; but he did nothing. Then we passed Brian and that was when I felt weird. Freckles and he exchanged a long look and it was a weird look; I didn't know if actually it was like that or if it was because I was more intent of things now that Freckles wasn't with me anymore and after she told me that thing about him. Brian looked at her sadly and a bit worried and Freckles looked at him curiously; but neither of them spoke; Brian didn't even say anything gross or aggressive. Maybe Freckles was telling me the truth about him, but it was hard to believe. Then we passed next to Susan and Freckles looked at her furtively but suspiciously; surely she was still thinking that Susan was W. I also looked at her suspiciously, but she didn't seem to be W because she wasn't sinister such as Jim and Brian were. No one talked to us and no one harassed us, everything seemed to be quiet; this was weird... Could this be part of a plan? Then someone finally walked to us: Amanda.

_**"Hi little sis."**_ She said smiling widely but there was something weird on her face, as if she has been crying. Freckles greeted her sister politely; they seemed to be fine now. _**"Darren, are you better?"**_ She said when she saw me.

_**"Yeah, thanks."**_ I answered curtly but not harshly. _**"Are you okay?"**_ I asked curiously.

She really didn't seem to be the same as always... there was something weird and after a while I noticed it: She wasn't wearing her cheerleader uniform. Why? She was the best of the cheerleaders; why wouldn't she wear it? I wondered what it could have happened. What if she was kicked out because of us, because of W?

_**"I'm fine."**_ She answered with a faint smile.

_**"What happened with your cheerleader uniform?"**_ Freckles asked curious. Maybe she was suspecting the same as me.

_**"Oh, I got tired of it. I really wanted to wear normal clothes, like this pretty dress."**_ She said faking a smile. She was faking it, she wouldn't cheat me.

_**"Yes, it's really pretty."**_ Freckles said smiling kindly. I couldn't believe that she believed what Mandy said.

I looked at Mandy serious like telling her 'that's not what actually happened.' and she noticed I was looking at her. She exchanged a furtive look with me and then she looked down. Obviously, whatever it was, it wasn't something good and she didn't want to say it in front of her Freckles because she didn't want to worry her; so I just decided to play fool. We talked about other things and then Mandy joined us. That was also weird, because before Mandy was never near Freckles, so that's why almost nobody knew that they were sisters. People started to look at us as if we were weirdo; because Mandy, the most popular girl in school, wasn't wearing her cheerleader uniform and she was talking to losers like us. But Mandy seemed to be fine with us, even though I noticed this was being hard for her; she wasn't used at that kind of looks.

_**"Alright guys, I have to go to math class. See you soon!"**_ Mandy greeted cheerfully and then she looked at Freckles. _**"Please, take care and if something happens, call me."**_

_**"Yes, thanks."**_ Freckles said stunned because this was something odd. Mandy was never this protective with her sister. Once that Mandy left, Jen also left, because they both shared that class.

_**"Well, we both have Spanish class. Let's go?"**_ I asked and Freckles only nodded.

We walked in silence, both of us looking down; I was glancing from time to time her hand. Man, I wanted to hold her hand so badly. Yesterday morning I was wishing this day to come; I was excited because I was going to be able to hold her hand in public, in school and that was making me happy; but now it was different and it was hurtful. We arrived at the class in time to sit in the last seats. Brian was already there and Freckles and he exchanged looks again. I didn't like it. Mr. Rhodes arrived and the class was being so fucking bored, I couldn't understand how Freckles could pay attention at this class. Man, I was falling asleep; I needed to do something to entertain. I just grabbed my pen and I started drawing random things until I saw a note on my desk. I recognized that handwriting. Freckles.

**"You should be paying attention, Mr. Criss."**

I smiled when I read it and then I looked at her, but she was already looking at Mr. Rhodes again, now with an amused smile. I loved these things about her.

**"I say the same. You shouldn't be sending notes during the class, though I love it. By the way, you look gorgeous today, missy." **

I wrote flirting with her. Why wouldn't I do it? It was innocent. And like this, we kept sending each other notes, laughing very low so no one would hear us. Suddenly the class turned into a very entertaining class and the notes were very funny and flirting, which was awesome. I think that both of us forgot about W for a moment and that was more than awesome. Everything was going pretty well until...

_**"What are you doing?"**_ Mr. Rhodes asked upset.

I really didn't listen to him; actually I did, but I thought he was asking something at the class. Freckles also thought the same as me. We kept sending notes and laughing, neither of us aware of what was happening in the class or what Mr. Rhodes was explaining. Well, at least it was like that until I heard his steps coming closer and he suddenly took the note that I was writing for Freckles. That was when both Freckles and I realized that Mr. Rhodes has asked that question to us. Damn, he was reading all the notes that we exchanged and he was reading some of them loudly, so the entire class started laughing at some of our silly things; but actually they were laughing at our faces. We both were super ashamed and nervous. I couldn't believe that we've been caught. When Mr. Rhodes finished reading all of our private notes, I was expecting the worse; I couldn't even look at him in the face.

_**"You two, to the principal's office. I won't allow these kinds of things in my class."**_ Mr. Rhodes said severely.

Neither Freckles nor I complained about it; we knew that we shouldn't have done it and we knew that it was probably that Mr. Rhodes would find us out doing it; but I didn't regret. I didn't care if I had to the principal's office; I was just happy because Freckles and I were having a good time, and I loved every single thing she wrote me. So I grabbed my notebook and I put it on my backpack; Freckles did the same.

_**"Could you give me the notes, Mr. Rhodes?"**_ I asked politely and the whole class laughed. I didn't mean to say it to make them laugh; I just wanted to keep with me those notes.

_**"No, Mr. Criss. This will teach you that you don't have to do things like this during the class." **_Mr. Rhodes said severely and I looked at him frowning.

_**"But that's something private!"**_ I said very annoyed and the whole class laughed again. Damn, I didn't want them to laugh. _**"That is ours, it doesn't belong to you!"**_

_**"Excuse me?"**_ Mr. Rhodes asked in disbelief and kind of scary. Well yeah, I disrespected him.

_**"Mr. Rhodes, if you excuse me... Actually my classmate is right. You're in all your rights to send us to the principal's office because we've done something that we shouldn't; and I speak for the two of us when I say that we apologize for our bad manners during your class." **_Freckles started saying very quiet and politely, very formal and well-mannered that amazed me. Oh gosh, this girl. _**"But you can't keep a personal and private belonging, because that way you'd be violating student rights as set out in the school rules. I would argue strongly that both parties, teachers and students must respect these rights and obligations, to consolidate an education based on justice and integrity, as established in this school."**_ She said almost as a politician, very mannerly and respectful.

I was looking at her stunned, the whole class was looking at her stunned, even Mr. Rhodes was looking at her stunned. She was only a sophomore, man, and she could talk better than me, better than anyone in the class. Geez, I loved her. Mr. Rhodes babbled a few times; Freckles literally left him without words; surely no student ever talked to him this way. Then finally, Mr. Rhodes sighed. Everybody was expectant to hear his answer.

_**"You're right."**_ He finally said and I opened my eyes widely in surprise. No way! She got it! _**"Here you have your notes, but you still have to go to the principal's office and you'll get extra homework."**_ Mr. Rhodes said giving her the notes and she only smiled politely.

_**"We'll accept it and we apologize for our disrespect minutes ago. Won't happen again."**_ She assured respectful and Mr. Rhodes only nodded before continuing with the class.

Freckles gave me the notes and we started walking to the door while the whole class was looking at us in silence. It was kind of uncomfortable to leave that class. After we left, I noticed how Brian and Freckles exchanged looks again. Why were they looking at each other all the time? Ugh. When we left and we closed the door behind us, I walked in silence for a while till make sure we were far enough and no one will listen to us. I stepped in front of Freckles and I started walking in reverse.

_**"Oh my God! You were amazing in there!"**_ I exclaimed very excited and with a huge grin as she giggled softly, not saying anything. _**"You should have seen Mr. Rhodes face! He was like... I don't know how to explain! He was..." **_I said imitating his face, still very excited and she laughed louder.

_**"You're so silly."**_ She said giggling while we were still walking like this.

_**"And you're splendid! You left him speechless! Who does that? You! Only you!"**_ I said pointing at her, smiling widely and remembering the whole situation. _**"Yeah! You're a fucking genius! Where have you learned to speak like that?" **_

_**"Speech classes." **_She said winking and giggling. Oh fuck I wanted to kiss her, I was just so hyper.

_**"Bless those speech classes!"**_ I said laughing and now walking in between jumps, still on reverse.

_**"Oh my god, Darren. It wasn't so spectacular, you're overreacting."**_ She laughed out loud.

_**"Are you fucking kidding me? That was one of the best things ever seen! And you should have seen the whole class! They all were like..."**_ I said now imitating their faces and she burst out laughing.

_**"Stop making faces, Darren!"**_ She giggled and I looked at her with bright eyes, still grinning widely.

_**"You know what? It reminded me to the first time I met you, just in this same class."**_ I said remembering my first Spanish class, when I arrived late. _**"I remember I sat next to you and I started drawing... Hey, I caught you that time! You were looking at me; you, sneaky, were trying to see what I was drawing!"**_ I said giggling while she blushed. Why would she blush?

_**"You caught me? I can't believe that." **_She said raising her eyebrows and shaking her head, but smiling.

_**"Yeah, of course I caught you! No one ever tried to see what I was drawing as intrigued as you were that time! It was kind of funny. I remember that I thought... Why is she looking at me that way? I thought I had something odd in my face."**_ I admitted laughing and she seemed to be ashamed. _**"It was cool, though. Then it was when Mr. Rhodes caught you not paying attention at the class. And then... Bum! You hit Brian's face and you faced Mr. Rhodes because of his stupid sexist remark! That was also so awesome!"**_ I exclaimed very excited, still jumping while walking and she laughed amused.

_**"Yeah, I remember that time."**_ She answered quiet.

_**"It was kind of my fault that time too. I think I'm a bad influence for you." **_I said really amused and she raised an eyebrow, also amused.

_**"You are, Criss. But I love it."**_ She said giggling and my heart skipped a beat. Oh damn, I was so into her. Well, it was time to flirt.

_**"I could take you to the dark side."**_ I said seductively winking at her and she looked at me amused, raising an eyebrow.

_**"Oh, really? How?"**_ She challenged me and I totally loved it. I loved whenever she challenged me and more when I was flirting with her.

_**"Yeah..."**_ I said walking closer to her, now placing my hands on her waist. But we kept walking, me in reverse... No one was around, so I was free to do this and she didn't seem to mind, which was great. _**"Beware of me because I'm a bad boy."**_ I said seductively, almost whispering in front of her lips.

_**"Oh, bad boys turn me on..."**_She whispered just as seductively. Man, was she also flirting with me? Whoa! She was the one who was turning me on by the way she was talking and looking at me.

_**"Then let me be your bad boy."**_ I said looking intensely into her eyes.

_**"Give me reasons to do it." **_She challenged me again.

_**"Any kind of reason?"**_ I asked pulling her closer.

_**"Any kind. You have to convince me."**_ She challenged me in a very sensual way. Oh man, I really didn't want to go to the principal's office now.

_**"Well..." **_I said biting my lower lip and now looking at her lips. _**"Bad boys would do something that a girl doesn't want... But bad boys would make her feel the time of her life." **_I said whispering in front of her lips very seductively.

_**"Such as?"**_ She challenged me and I looked into her eyes to find her looking at me fiercely.

_**"Such as..."**_ I whispered and I leaned to brush my lips against hers.

She was like giving me a free pass, so why wouldn't I do it if it was what I wanted to do the most? She did nothing, so I pulled her even closer, still placing my hands on her waist firmly. I moved one of my hands to place it on her cheek and then I nibbled her lower lip very softly and slowly. Still, she did nothing. So I took a chance and I kissed her very slowly; but then I turned that slow kiss into a very passionately and deep kiss; now placing both of my hands on her cheeks. I wasn't aware of where I was, I was just enjoying that kiss that probably would be the last kiss I could give to her, so I did my best there. Gosh, I was going to really miss the taste of her lips and her kisses. I slowly lead her against a locker while still kissing her passionately. I broke the kiss several times only to breathe and bit her lower lip; both of us, yes, both of us; were breathing fast. Once she was against the locker I broke the kiss to look intensely into her eyes for a while and then I kissed her again, this time fiercely. Man, this kiss was perfect and I refused to believe it was the last one. Then she was the one to break the kiss and look at me intensely.

_**"And who told you that this isn't what I want?"**_ She asked defiant and very sensually.

That was a great turn on. I pulled her into a very fierce kiss again and she was kissing me just as fiercely. Oh fuck, where the hell has she learned to kiss this way? She was driving me completely crazy, my hormones were exploding and I just couldn't get enough of those kisses. My phone and her phone buzzed, but we just didn't care; we kept kissing as if we were in a private place. I knew that we would be in troubles if someone catches us, but I didn't care; after all, we had to go to the principal's office already. When I broke the kiss this time, was only to whisper something in front her lips.

_**"When you met me for the first time and you were looking at me in the first Spanish class... Have you ever imagined that we were going to end up like this?" **_I asked intrigued.

_**"Never. This only happened in my dreams... You see, I've had a crush with you since the first time I saw you; but I never thought I could get to be so in love with you as I am now. And I never thought that you could ever love me back."**_ She confessed looking deeply into my eyes.

Her words literally moved me and I felt how my heart skipped a beat. Her words literally lit up my day and made me really happy that I couldn't avoid smiling widely and brightly. She was still in love with me; maybe I still had chances to be with her as I wanted so badly. This time I caressed her cheek very softly while still looking into her eyes fondly. Then I leaned to kiss her one more time, this time sweetly. It was a short kiss, but a good one; and after the kiss I hugged her.

_**"Please, tell me that you want to come back with me."**_ I whispered in her ear.

_**"I never wanted to break up with you because you're the best I have."**_ She whispered fondly.

I couldn't help it but feeling thrilled and emotional. I hugged her even tighter as my body started trembling because of the thrill. I was so relieved to hear those words, to know that she was still mine, that I haven't lost her. I broke the hug to look into her eyes and show her how happy I was feeling but our phones buzzed at the same time; and this time, both of us grabbed our phones to read the text messages.

**"Mr. Rhodes wouldn't like to know that you two, instead going to the principal's office, you stayed in the hallway making out. Bad done! -W-"**

**"Oh guys, you're a bad boy and a bad girl. I wonder how bad you can be after someone, accidentally, shows at the entire school the film I just recorded of you two making out. It'll be fun, don't you think? -W-"**

Freckles and I exchanged a terrified look and then we looked around to see if W was around. But there was no one, how was it possible that someone could have recorded us? This wasn't good, we needed to find that video, we needed to prevent W from showing it to the entire school. We were in troubles.

_**"What are we gonna do?"**_ Freckles asked edgy and I looked at her in silence, serious.

_**"We're gonna find that video."**_ I said firmly.

_**"How?" **_She asked even more edgy.

_**"I don't know."**_ I answered honestly looking down. I have no idea where to start, because we didn't know anything at all about W. _**"Fuck!"**_ I exclaimed very angry and Freckles looked at me distressed, holding my hand.

_**"Dare, calm down."**_ She said reassuringly and I looked at her in surprise. Most of the times, it was me the one who was used to say it. There was something in her voice that could always reassure me. _**"We're not gonna find the video, it's impossible because we don't even know where to start."**_

_**"Yes, we will!"**_ I started saying because I didn't want her to lose her hopes.

_**"No, we won't. Let's be realistic; if we're realistic about this, then we won't feel frustrated when we don't get it as W is expecting us to feel."**_ She said quiet. She was right, but I refused to think it was lost. Why was she quiet anyway? _**"Instead wasting our time thinking how we're gonna get the video... Why don't we think how to react after this? What to do after the entire school watches it?"**_ Freckles said whispering in my ear, in a secret. Obviously she didn't want anyone to hear her. _**"I think W won't expect it. I have a plan, but we can't talk about it now." **_She whispered again. I looked at her intrigued.

_**"Good. Sounds good. Where do you want to go?"**_ I whispered in her ear.

_**"I'll text you. We should pretend that we're searching for the video in different ways for now; we're gonna distract W. I'll text you everything."**_ Freckles whispered and I nodded. I was really curious and this sounded like a really good plan. _**"I'm gonna act, you just do the same, okay?" **_She whispered and I nodded again. _**"No, Darren. That's ridiculous. We're not gonna find it! What are we gonna do? What? This is your fault."**_ She pretended to be angry and I got quickly what she tried to pretend. She wanted to pretend a dispute between us.

_**"What are you saying? Is this my fault now? Oh, good, I'm always the guilty one. If for you this is ridiculous, good then; but it's not for me. I'm not gonna allow W to do it, I'll find that video with or without you. You do whatever you want, I don't fucking care, but then don't run to me asking for some kind of sympathy."**_ I pretended to say very coldly and harshly. Whoa, I didn't like to say it all.

_**"Screw you, Darren. You're gonna waste your time; but go ahead and do it. Sometimes you're very stupid. I can't believe I let myself to be seduced by you; I don't regret to have broken up with you."**_ She said harshly and it hurt me, even though I knew she was acting it.

_**"Fuck you. I'm done with you."**_ I said just as harshly.

_**"Yeah, good luck, you idiot."**_ She said very contemptuously and then she turned around and left me there alone.

I didn't know what to do, so I just pretended to huff and I walked to the opposite way she went. And now? Where would I go? Uhm, to the choir room. Yeah, that would work; there was no one there at this time. It wasn't long after I received a text message; I thought it was from Freckles, but actually it was from W.

**"Going your own way, Criss? Feeling your heart broken again? The worst is gonna be that you won't find the video, the entire school will watch it, people will start asking and you'll have to explain that she is none for you now, people will think you're a liar. Hard... And then, maybe you could be expelled from school. Someone is in troubles! -W-" **

Oh fuck W... This scared me, though. Could I really be expelled from school because of this? And Freckles wasn't texting me yet. I was so anxious...

* * *

You left Darren there. You did have a plan, but first you needed to do something else and for that, Darren shouldn't be with you. You knew exactly where to go. You watched your clock, right in time when everybody had their next class. You went straight to the Spanish room and waited there outside, being careful not to be catch by Mr. Rhodes. Then you saw him coming out, he saw you but he avoided your gaze and he walked away quickly. You followed him in silence, he didn't stop; not until he was near the entrance of school and looked at you kind of frightened; just as the same way he has been looking at you since you arrived at school.

_**"What do you want?" **_He asked aggressively. He was pretending it, you knew it pretty well. He was also nervous; he wouldn't stop looking around to see if someone was looking at him.

_**"We need to talk."**_ You answered firmly.

_**"We have nothing to talk about, geek."**_ He answered again aggressively.

_**"I know you're pretending it, Brian. I know why you're doing this, I didn't forget."**_ You answered firmly, very serious and looking at him straight in the eye. He got even more nervous.

_**"I don't know what you're talking about..."**_ He said nervously looking around.

_**"They're threatening you as well, Brian."**_ You said still firmly. You weren't scared of him, not anymore.

_**"I... What..."**_ He said very nervous and then he walked closer to you. Maybe he was going to hit you, but you didn't care. But he didn't. He whispered in your ear instead. _**"Please, don't talk about it now and here. No one must know that I told you that and no one must see us together, I beg you."**_ He whispered supplicant.

_**"Good. Give me your number. I'll call you later."**_ You said bossy and he nodded. _**"See you, Brian."**_ You said curtly and he looked at you with sad eyes. You looked at him fixedly and then you held his hand furtively. _**"You're forgiven."**_

That was the last thing you told him before you left him alone. But before you walked away, you could see in his eyes something new: He was very thankful. Immediately, you received a text message from W and your heart skipped a beat in fear, because W surely saw you with Brian.

**"Do you know what is funny? Not only you and Criss will be completely screwed. Also your friend and your sister will be, those bitches who help you. Group destruction! Sounds so funny! -W-" **

You looked at it for a while, serious. On one hand, you were relieved because it meant that W haven't seen you with Brian and that was surely because you distracted W with Darren; because Darren was the one that supposedly was going to search for the video. You planned that and it worked; even though you felt a bit bad because you kind of used Darren for that; but your plan had a good reason in the end. But on the other hand, you were feeling scared and nervous because of them all: Darren, Jen and Mandy. They couldn't end up hurt and you wouldn't let it happen. Right away you texted Darren.

To Darren: **I'm sorry, just give me a minute and I'll tell you how to go on.**

From Darren: **Do you really think we have a minute? W could show that video in any moment. Where are you? What are you doing?**

To Darren: **I'm really sorry; I promise I'll tell you later. Go for Jen and my sister and stay together. It's important; W wants to hurt them too. Then go to a crowded place, to the cafeteria.**

From Darren: **Ok.**

He answered curtly as he wasn't used, so you could tell he was upset and you wouldn't blame him. He had been waiting for your text message for a long time and when you finally did it, you didn't give him any kind of explanation; but everything was for the plan. You really had hopes that it could work. You were nervous, jumpy and very exalted and overexcited. For once and all, at least once, your plan needed to work; at least once you should be lucky. So you ran to the place that no one ever would go, at least no student would go: the cleaning storage area. You locked yourself in that dirty and very small place after you were sure there was no one and no one saw you getting in there. You grabbed your phone and called Brian. Your hands were trembling because of the adrenalin. Gosh, he needed to take the call; you didn't have so much time.

_**"Hello?"**_ Brian answered.

_**"Brian, it's me."**_ You said low and there was a long silence and then you heard how he was closing a door.

_**"What do you want?" **_He asked nervously in a whisper.

_**"Are you in a safe place?"**_ You asked.

_**"Yes, I am. But I could be lying and you would never know."**_ Brian said again in a whisper.

_**"I trust you."**_ You assured and there was a silence again.

_**"Why?"**_ Then he asked stunned.

_**"Because I know the kind of person you are. You showed me your real personality. I know I can trust you, I know you're actually a good person, Brian." **_You said surefire and confident.

_**"What do you want? I don't want any kind of problems."**_ He said after a silence.

_**"I want you to help me. Would you do that for me? Only once."**_ You asked firmly but inside you were dying of nervousness; your plan depended on his answer.

_**"What kind of help?"**_ He asked and you felt a little bit less nervous.

_**"I don't want you to change. I want you to treat me just as harshly as you were used to treat me when we haven't talked yet."**_ You said.

_**"What? Why are you asking me that?"**_ He asked confused.

_**"Just promise it. Is the only thing I'm asking."**_ You said insistent.

_**"I... I don't know."**_ He said unsure and you were amazed. You weren't expecting this answer. _**"Why should I do that after you were the only one who cared about how I was feeling?"**_ He asked apparently distressed and you were now puzzled. Wow.

_**"Because your father's job is in risk, remember? Just treat me as rudely as you were used; for me, for you and for your father."**_ You answered still feeling weird because of his answer.

_**"What I've done to you isn't cool and I don't want to do it anymore. Don't force me. I don't want to treat you like crap as before, because the last time I got to know you more and you don't deserve it."**_ He answered still distressed. Brian was surprising you.

_**"Please."**_ You begged.

_**"I don't know... Anyway, you know that I could tell this conversation to W. Why are you talking to me?"**_ Brian asked curious.

_**"I noticed how you've been looking at me furtively, so I know you won't do that, will you?"**_ You asked to make it sure. Silence again.

_**"No, I won't do it. But you shouldn't trust on me, just for your own good."**_ He said honestly.

_**"I told you that I trust you because I know what kind of person you are, I know why you've done all you've done. And I do understand and I've already forgiven you."**_ You said softly.

_**"Thanks."**_ He said thankfully. _**"But why do you want it?"**_

_**"Because... I need you."**_ You admitted honestly. _**"You're one of the few people who are close to W. My sister was one of them, I already know it. But she decided to be out of it, so I can't have any kind of contact with W now. W won't trust on her. But W will trust on you if you keep being as you were used to be."**_ I confessed and Brian was silent.

_**"I don't get your point."**_ He said.

_**"Well..."**_ You said nervous now. This was the hard part. _**"You told me that you weren't feeling fine with all the things they were forcing you to do, that you wished it could be different. But you can't stop doing it or W will mess with your dad's job. So I was thinking... If you don't want to do it but you have to do it; you could pretend that you're doing what they tell you to do; but actually you're helping me."**_ You said very nervous. Now it was time for Brian to answer and he wasn't doing it.

_**"I'm in."**_ He finally said firmly and you felt an extreme happiness.

_**"Really?" **_

_**"Really. I don't want to belong to the W team; I'd rather to help you."**_ He assured again.

_**"Why would you rather to do it?"**_ You asked to make it sure, you needed to be sure that he wasn't lying.

_**"Because I like you."**_ He said and you felt really weird. _**"Whatever... I'm with you and that's what matters. So, what do I have to do?" **_

_**"I... Well..."**_ You babbled, still shocked for what he said. _**"You just keep treating me in a bad way and if you know something about W, tell me. I need to find out who W is. Do you know it?"**_ You asked very intrigued.

_**"Sadly, no. Jim was the one who was forcing me. He's the only one who knows who W is and he wouldn't tell anyone." **_Brian answered honestly. _**"But I'll help you. If I find something new, I'll tell you. You never deserved to be treated like shit, so this is my way to apologize." **_

_**"Thank you."**_ You said thrilled. _**"Brian..."**_

_**"Yeah?"**_

_**"This must be a secret between the two of us. No one else must know that you're helping me. Not even Jen, not even my sister... And not even Darren."**_ You said gingerly and clearly.

_**"Why? I thought they were your friends."**_ He asked confused.

_**"Because I tried to tell them that you're a good person and they didn't believe me. I just don't want them to know; at least not for now. Only you and me, okay?"**_ You insisted.

_**"Alright. Only you and me, I got it. I like to know that I share something with you that anybody else knows." **_Brian said softly and you felt weird again. _**"Count on me, we'll find who W is."**_

_**"Yes, thank you a lot."**_ You said kindly.

_**"Thank you for having forgiven me. Hey, I have to hang up; I think someone is getting in here. Talk to you later."**_ He said quickly and nervously.

_**"Brian, what are you doing here, dude? I thought you were in the cafeteria..."**_ You heard a voice. Jim.

_**"Nothing, I was just looking for something..."**_ Brian answered.

_**"But why...?"**_ Jim said but then the phone conversation ended.

Your whole body was trembling. You still weren't sure if this was the best option, but it was something. You only wished that Brian was being honest with you and he wouldn't tell anyone about your plan. This was like this now: Risking everything. There was nothing certain, so you only had to take chances. Good, the first part of your plan apparently worked. Brian was on your side and that was a new help. Now it was the video thing. You knew you wouldn't find it on time. Your phone buzzed.

From Darren: **You said a minute, Freckles. Now it has been more than a half an hour. Where the fuck are you? Things are getting crazy; I need to know where you are and if you're safe.**

To Darren: **I'm really sorry. I'm going to the cafeteria now.**

From Darren: **Are you crazy? There's no way you can get in there. Aren't you aware of what happened? Where are you?**

To Darren: **What happened? Where are you? Tell me and I'm going.**

From Darren: **Outside, right next to the fountain. The entire school is outside, there's no way to be inside the building. I can't find you among all people. Hurry up, please.**

Why would he text it? You frowned in confusion and then you got out of the cleaning storage area. Wow, everything was dark and foggy; as if someone has done a joke with one of those smoke bombs. There was no light and there was no one around. Everything seemed lugubrious and tenebrous, like in a horror movie. Damn, you couldn't see anything at all. You grabbed your phone and you tried to light the way with it. But then you started to hear some sounds and some steps; right behind you. You illuminated that way, but you didn't see anyone. You started walking faster to the entrance and the same steps started running behind you. You heard a voice, it was a machine and distorted voice.

_**"Finally we're alone, the two of us."**_ That voice said with an evil laugh.


	25. Love in the time of cholera

A/N: Hello guys! How are you all doing? I'm pretty well and excited and you know why? Because I recently found out that Joey Richter is gonna be on Glee! That's pretty exciting and I hope it's not just a false rumor. Sorry, needed to say it because I literally squealed when I read that! Now back to this story... I do not want to spoil you so many things; but what I can say is that soon, very soon, you'll finally find out who W is! It's really enjoyable to read of whom you suspect and what you think about W. Action will be still on this chapter! I'm glad you enjoyed reading a little more action, because I always wanted to write something like that, and I finally did! Maybe not in the best way because this is the first time I do it, but it is a start! First of all I want to thank y'all for all the reviews! And now, I'll start answering you!

alicegursk: 'Holy guacamole' that was the best expression ever! Loved it! Sorry, I didn't really realized that the last chapter could contain so many things that could make you feel so many things! It's like somehow I'm playing with your feelings; oh gosh, that sounds terrible as if I were a terrible, terrible person! Bad Lucy! I have a doubt... Who is Vic? I'll use my magic devilish powers and I'll make you feel less strained with this chapter! Maybe... well, maybe I'll hurt your feelings again, but it'll get better eventually! About the doll, ha! I was really cruel, I admit it! But well, I'm cruel and can't help it; and more when I wrote that thing of Darren being drugged. About Brian... Poor Brian! haha; well, maybe you're right if you don't still believe him, or maybe not! Soon you will find out, I promise! And god! haha I just loved when you wrote a part of my favorite song of Darren which is, obviously, Not Alone. And you're right, I love you because you're crazy! Being normal is s boring, so that's not cool, that's not what I'm waiting from a wife! Haha

Monique: I knew it! Ha! You don't have to thank me for the follow, I'm very glad that I did it, it's always nice to follow you; so then maybe, when I start using Twitter more as before, we'll be able to talk more! :) Are you also reading my other stories? Aww, thank you! And do you really think this one is the best? Because it's hard to believe, I always thought I could never write a story like Chain Letters, because after that story I felt as if I had no more ideas to keep writing! But well, this idea of writing about the young Darren came into my mind and it's cool to write about it! And Darren's quote! hahaha, oh my god, I'm so glad you liked it, because I also laughed when I wrote it! I remember myself thinking: 'Oh geez, this so silly and so stupid; it's amazing!' And like that I started laughing like an idiot of something I wrote, but the point is that I imagined Darren saying that with a silly face and well, it was funny to imagine! I love that, I love that you loved it and I love the fact you're a weirdo because so am I!

Kaylacriss332: The end of that chapter? Oh well, I thought it wasn't so bad, there have been worst endings! I think! The good thing is that this chapter ends in a different way, so I hope it can still be cool! And what about now? Are you also excited that this updated? I hope so, even though I haven't updated it earlier than normal.

MeMi83: You're welcome and you have to get used at it, because I like to answering my reviews! :) I'm glad you liked the last chapter and well, I like to write new things about each character and let you know more about them little by little; like discovering how someone is, not all of a sudden but gradually, as it happens also in real life! And thank you a lot for your nice words! I guess I can feel better now that I know you can't become bored of this story, I'll try to not let you down!

Vicky: First of all, thank you! I'm glad you liked the chapter and I'm glad you enjoyed that Darren and Freckles are together again! Those two, with their comings and goings, are so crazy! haha. Oh well, will W hurt Chuck? You'll have to find it out and if it scared you... Wait to read this new chapter! Am I cruel?

Guest: Another cliffhanger! And in this new chapter you're also gonna get another cliffhanger, but not as bad as the last one! Maybe you're gonna like it! And finally here it is! The chapter 25! Are you ready to know what's going to happen now? Be ready, because things are gonna happen!

Madison: Well hello! I think you're a new reader, so welcome! :) I'm not sure if you're gonna read this now, because as I can see, the review that I got from you is from chapter 3! I don't know if you already read the other chapters, but I hope so! Anyway, you'll read this eventually, I guess! I know, I tend to write very sad things, in a very dramatic way; I guess I'm a sort of drama queen and I can't help it. I don't know why I have this way to write, I guess I'm very emotional and I like to express feelings! And thank you very much! I'm glad you like this silly story!

caarolineboeira1: Hi! How are you? First of all, I'm very glad that you RTed one of my tweets the other day, because I haven't realized you were following me and I felt kind of a bitch when I noticed it and I noticed that I wasn't following back! So there you have my apologize! As you can see, I can't be on Twitter so often; and sometimes, when I have the time, I tweet as a madwoman! Maybe you'll end up unfollowing me because I can be really annoying and chatty! haha Have you really thought about architecture? haha I love the comparison you did, recalling a StarKid quote! I'll tell you a secret... I was a bit good when it was about drawing when I started studying this that was like 5 years ago. Now I'm exactly like Hermione! I can't draw! Bless the computer and digital programs to design! Back to the story, yeah! How could I kill that puppy called Darren? No way, I'd never forgive myself for that! Hey, it's kind of amazing that you thought exactly the same that the character said! Maybe you're Freckles indeed! What if? I needed to write flirting things there, and it was time for Freckles to flirt a little! hahaha you made me laugh with that you wrote about the plan! Yes, finally they have a plan! Finally, man! It was time! Now we have to wait to see if their plan it's gonna work or not! And well, about the questions you have... In this chapter you'll find all the answers!

SkittlesPanda: Hello new reader! I welcome you and I thank you for reading this story! I'm so very glad that you're doing it! I don't know if you're gonna read this now, because your review was from chapter 10, but I hope you kept reading my story and I hope you can read my answer! I'm sorry for making you cry! I won't say that it wasn't my intention, because I know I write things in a very dramatic way and sometimes is so sad that even I, the one who writes it, feel my heart broken and an anguish on my heart while writing sad stuff. But I like it at the same time, it's kind of ironic and all the things I do or say doesn't have sense, but well! It is your obsession a good thing or not? Well, you were deliberating if you should keep reading or stop reading this story; I hope you chose the first option! I promise, not everything is so sad and terrible; there are also cute and lovely things! I'm not so cruel and hideous, or yes?

Ginny Zoey: Yay! I love that you like this action! I always wanted to make of the return of W an intense thing! And what better than adding a little action to get it? I know, it was kind of terrible writing about Darren being drugged, I even hated W for doing that and you might be thinking that I'm crazy because I had the option to not write about it, but geez, I'm crazy and I wanted to write about something really serious. Yes, okay, I'm insane and my words almost don't have sense. And you're right! W identity will be out soon, really soon! I'm excited for that, I really want you to read that chapter and get to know what you think! For now, I won't spoil anything! And you... You are very perceptive and observant! I like that! Freckles won't stop researching about Karen's friend, it's just that so many things are happening now, and she needs to be cautious about everything; but eventually something weird is gonna happen... And I love what you realized when you read the chapter for second time; as I said, you're very observant! 'Somehow I think being W is even more tiring than being Freckles' Well, well, well! You're right about it, you're not crazy; you're just very perceptive! And I do agree, W must hate Freckles so much! It was so great to read your review!

Okay, that's all guys! I'll let you read this chapter and I really hope you can like it! Good and bad things are gonna happen! But I kinda like the way this chapter ends, you'll see! By the way... For all those that wonder how Jen looks like... Well, I'll tell you something: Jen Nedeau is real! Yes, and she was for real one of Darren's friends in St. Ignatius College Preparatory; but of course the Jen of this story is completely fictional. So, if you want to know how Jen looks like in real life, you can see it in my Tumblr (if the link doesn't work, go to my profile and search for my Tumblr): post/40318105718/darren-criss-and-jen-nedeau-a-darrens-friend

If you want to keep imagining her the way you've imagined her on your minds, that's okay too! Now, everything already said. Until next Saturday, guys! Have an amazing week!

* * *

**Teenage Dream – Part 25 – Love in the Time of Cholera.**

* * *

You ran fast because you really needed to go away. That was W, you were sure and W was going to hurt you now that nobody was there. You were very frightened. You ran, but you stumbled in the way. You heard how the steps came closer and you cornered against the lockers. W was now in front of you, you knew it. You looked up to see the face, you were scared but you needed to know who W was. This person was wearing a mask and a costume. You couldn't tell if it was a boy or a girl.

_**"See? I'm not a coward. You finally are meeting me, fat ass."**_ W laughed evilly.

_**"You still are a fucking coward. Look at you, wearing a mask and a costume. How pathetic." **_You said harshly even though inside you were freaking out.

That was when W crouched in front of you and you tried to remain firm. W grabbed your cheek harshly with one hand and with the other one, W searched for something in the pocket. You were fixedly looking at the mask, trying to find some clue; but there was nothing. The only you could notice it was that the hands seemed to be a woman's hand. You attempted quickly to take off the mask, but W pulled out what was searching. A knife; a knife that placed on your neck. Now you were really scared.

_**"Oh no, no, no. It's not a good idea to try to uncover me, bitch."**_ W said nastily, rubbing the knife on your neck. It was a real knife. _**"You know pimple face? I never thought you could go so far. I'm impressed of you. You're turning into me, answering in a very bad-mannered way, hitting people, hurting people, challenging people, and breaking hearts. You and I aren't so different."**_

_**"I'm not like you. You suck." **_You answered sternly.

_**"Oh, no, fat ass."**_ W said archly, pressing the knife on your neck. That person was going to cut you that way. _**"Do not treat me like that. Remember who has the power here." **_

_**"You don't have a damn shit. You're only a lonely person for who I feel pity. You only feel powerful because you have a knife now, but the truth is that the knife only makes you a coward. Because you can't deal with words, so you need a weapon to defense yourself. How sad, to be dependent on an object. You have nothing."**_ You said roughly and defiantly. W only pressed strongly the knife on your neck. It hurt.

_**"Do not mess with me, sucker. Remember that you're nobody; the geek and unnoticed girl, the girl who no one wants around. You're the misery of this school; you shouldn't be here because no one wants your presence."**_ W said very archly, still pressing the knife and rubbing it on your neck.

_**"I'm not alone. You are alone. Sooner or later, your game is gonna end and when people get to know who you are and what you have done; you're gonna be left aside. And remember, you've done terrible things, crimes; and I have proofs, the justice will take care of you in the jail."**_ You said coldly.

_**"We'll see who's gonna win the game. You have so little chances, bitch. I can't wait to see you destroyed. But good things take time, so I'm gonna take the time to destroy you in the best way possible. You still have a lot to suffer." **_W said archly, laughing in a malicious way.

_**"I'm not afraid of you."**_ You said defiantly even though you were scared the hell out of you inside.

_**"Good, this only makes things more interesting." **_W laughed wickedly. _**"But for now, I'll leave you a mark; so you and your fool friends will remember with who you are messing."**_

That was the last thing that W said before this person cut you with the knife. It hurt a lot and you felt the blood falling down your neck. You wanted to scream because of the pain, you wanted to cry; but you did nothing, because you were trying to be strong. W laughed archly once more time and then that person ran away; leaving you there alone before you could stand up to try to catch that person and find out who it was. But everything was so dark that you couldn't see which way that person went away. Besides, the pain of your injury was too much to hold. You ripped the sleeve of your shirt and you placed it on the injury, pressing it not to lose more blood. You grabbed your phone and you started walking to the entrance again, you needed to get out of there, you needed to find Darren; you needed to be in his arms to calm down, he was the only one who could do that. You had troubles to walk because you were shaking because of the fear and because you barely could see, because tears wouldn't stop to stream down. But finally you reached the door and you opened it. The sun almost hurt your eyes, but you got out of there; still trembling but not crying anymore. Indeed, the whole school was there and when you got out of there, people stared you suspiciously. But you ignored them, you were in shock and you were still bleeding. You passed by hundreds of people who wouldn't stop looking at you. You crossed beside Brian. He looked at you perplexed, frowning and with eyes wide open; then he looked at Jim in disgust; Jim was grinning archly, he knew about this plan of W. Brian looked at you again, now frightened and afflicted. But you didn't stop, you kept walking in silence and in shock; you needed to find Darren. And there you saw him; he was looking at other side. But then he noticed that everybody was looking right to where you were, so he noticed something odd was happening. When he looked at your direction, his serious and annoyed face turned into a very worried and terrified face. You stood there and he ran to you very fast to hold you in his arms. That was when you felt weak and relieved because now you were safe; you just let your weight fall on his arms. And you cried again; you didn't care that people were looking at you.

_**"What happened?"**_ He asked with trembling voice, still holding you. Then he looked at you again and he saw your injury. _**"Let's go, we need to heal that." **_You only nodded.

But then something stopped you. The same distorted voice started to ring over the loudspeakers. Everybody in school jumped and tried to figure out from where that voice was coming, everybody seemed to be scared and curious. Darren looked at you edgy and you looked down, feeling terrible.

_**"School has been taken by two people who decided to break all the rules of this school. Fortunately, the perpetrators of this hideous event recently witnessed in school have been discovered. A video will show you who are they, breaking another rule of school. With this video, I want to beg to the principal of this school the safety that all the students deserve. We cannot keep suffering hideous things like this. I demand justice in this school. W talking and out." **_

Darren looked at you very desperate and you looked at him very distressed. This was going to screw everything. You were going to be expelled from school and that couldn't happen. You weren't guilty, but how would you make the principal think the opposite? The video of you and Darren making out in the hallway of school started playing and everybody looked at your direction. Students, teachers and other employees were looking at you in anger and in disbelief. Jen and your sister were looking at you distressed and worried. You were completely screwed. When the video finished, everybody started to yell at you and Darren, some of them wanted to punch you and Darren protected you in his arms. You couldn't run away, because that way they would think that you were the guilty ones for sure. But you couldn't stay there because they were going to really punch you.

_**"We're gonna be fine, baby."**_ Darren whispered in your ear with trembling but fondly voice in between all the screams.

_**"That video is bullshit! It's all a lie!" **_You sister yelled her lungs out. _**"Hey you, asshole! Leave them alone!"**_ She yelled angrily to a boy who was about to hit Darren. This was being scandalous and you didn't know how to fix it.

_**"Shut up, idiot."**_ Jen suddenly yelled at a girl who was cursing at you.

_**"You two. Come with me. Now."**_ The principal's voice demanded severely in front of you and Darren.

You and him looked at the principal very scared and distressed. You noticed how Darren glanced at you covertly and then he held your hand. The principal looked at you both very irritated and severe, he looked upset at your hands holding, and then he turned around and started walking. Darren squeezed your hand and he led you with him, following the principal while the other people kept yelling at you horrible things. You've never been more humiliated than this time; and this time, you couldn't see anything good coming out of this. You couldn't get into the principal building of school, so you went to the gym.

_**"Wait here."**_ The principal said and you and Darren nodded.

You sat on the benches in silence. Neither you nor Darren spoke; each one of you were thoughtful, just thinking how you were going to explain everything, how you were going to get out of this. While you were waiting, a nurse healed the injury of your neck in silence; and when she finished it, she looked at you and shook her head in disappointment and then she left. You looked down and a tear let out your eye. Darren noticed it and he finally got closer to you to hold your hand and kiss it. You looked at him and your eyes met. He was also scared, he was also nervous; but he was there with you, trying to reassure you. You rested your head on his shoulder and he wrapped an arm around you. And like that, you stayed in silence, still waiting. The principal was in a kind of separate room, so you couldn't see what he was doing. In the waiting, you saw people coming and leaving that separate room; one of those people was Mr. Rhodes, who looked at you both very upset and disappointed before he left the gym. Other one was Jim. Jim? What the hell was he doing there? When he left the room, he looked at you both with an evil grin on his face. This wasn't good. Brian also was one of them. When he left, he looked only at you with a sad face and when he noticed that Darren was looking at him, he looked away and left without saying anything. Darren glanced at you, but you weren't in mood to explain anything. Jen and your sister also were in the room and before they left, they looked at you distressed but smiling faintly. You still didn't know what was happening in there. After a long time of waiting, the principal finally got out of the room. You were more nervous than ever and so was Darren. He squeezed your hand as if he was telling you that everything was alright.

_**"I called your parents. They'll be here in a moment."**_ The principal said very serious. _**"Please, follow me."**_

He turned around and walked to the separate room; but you couldn't move. If you were scared before, now you were more than scared and you knew that Darren was feeling the same. No, your father couldn't come, not him; not after all that happened between you and him. You looked at the floor feeling very bemused and preoccupied.

_**"Come on, baby. We only need to explain this and he will believe us."**_ Darren tried to reassure you, but he wasn't sure of what he said.

_**"He won't."**_ You said very distressed. _**"And our parents... they... they are gonna..."**_ You babbled with teary voice and Darren hugged you.

_**"He will believe us because we're gonna tell the truth. And don't worry about our parents, just don't think about it. I won't let your father to treat you in a bad way, okay?"**_ Darren said sweetly looking into your eyes and you only nodded.

You walked in silence and when you arrived to the room, the principal was already waiting for you, sitting on a desk. You and Darren sat on the seats which were in front of his desk. You both looked at him in silence and he also looked at you strictly in silence. This was very uncomfortable; you didn't know if you should start talking or if it was the principal the one who should start talking.

_**"Could you explain me what happened?"**_ The principal asked and both you and Darren looked down in silence. Neither of you answered. It was hard to answer, he was intimidating. _**"No? Well then... Do I need to play the video again so you can remember?"**_ Neither of us answered so he grabbed a remote control to play the video on a TV that was there.

_**"We're sorry, sir."**_ Darren said quickly, before the principal could play the video. The principal only looked at him very serious.

_**"I have understood that Mr. Rhodes sent both of you to my office this morning because you've disrespected him in his class. But you never arrived because you got distracted in the hallway of the school to do what the entire school has watched recently. Is that right?" **_The principal asked severely and both Darren and you looked down.

_**"Yeah, it is."**_ Darren answered honestly but still looking down.

_**"You're aware that this school prohibits strictly that kind of behavior, aren't you?"**_ The principal asked.

_**"Yeah, we are, and we're sorry."**_ Darren repeated apologetically. You just couldn't talk.

_**"You're aware that that kind of behavior implies a suspension from school, aren't you?"**_ He asked.

_**"Yeah, but... Come on, a lot of guys do it in school and they never got a suspension. We're sorry, we know that we shouldn't have done it; but... It's not fair, this is the first time we've done it and there are a lot of people who do it every single day of school."**_ Darren complained but keeping the calm, looking at the principal. You only bit your lower lip because you knew that he screwed up with it.

_**"Are you judging the system of this school, Mr. Criss?"**_ The principal asked harshly and Darren huffed, looking down again.

_**"Am not, sir. I just... This is our first time we are here..." **_Darren complained again.

_**"You're wrong, Mr. Criss. The two of you have already been in my office before."**_ He said curtly. He was right.

_**"Yeah, I know; but it wasn't because of a reason like this one..."**_ Darren started to defend.

_**"But it was because of bad manners. Besides your bad manners and this outrageous situation of you two in the hallway; I've noticed that both of you have got terrible scores in exams. Teachers, in general, are complaining about you two and your lack of study; they've notified me that your school performance has worsened. Could you explain me why?"**_ The principal asked looking fixedly at the two of you.

_**"Personal issues."**_ Darren answered quietly.

_**"Such as?" **_

_**"It's private. We're not gonna tell you because school cannot interfere in private matters that take place off campus."**_ Darren answered mannerly but firmly.

_**"School can when it affects your school performance."**_ The principal said superbly. _**"But well, if you say it's something off campus; I'm gonna ask it to your parents." **_

_**"What? No."**_ Darren said in disbelief. _**"You really cannot interfere in our private stuff; talking to you with the utmost respect."**_

_**"Sorry, Mr. Criss. But I'm the principal here and I'll decide what is best for the students and this school."**_ He said very strictly and Darren just looked down annoyed but also nervous. _**"So now, we have another problem. You've been rioting in this school and it affected the entire organization and progress of the academic schedule. You've caused panic among students, teachers and other employees. You've caused damages to the building. And you've caused a chaotic atmosphere in today. Only because you wanted to make a joke. This joke has violated twenty five rules of the school rules."**_ The principal said very severely. _**"We've talked to many students and a lot of them agreed that they've seen the two of you planting the smoke bombs and destroying the electrical installation of the building, among other riots."**_

_**"That's ridiculous."**_ Darren exclaimed incredulous and moody.

_**"Why, Mr. Criss?" **_

_**"Because we haven't done it. We never did such a thing; we're not to blame for those riots."**_ Darren answered moody.

_**"Still, with most of the people I've talked to, have said that they've witnessed it." **_

_**"They're lying because they don't like us."**_ Darren answered annoyed.

_**"Well, if you're not to blame, then who's to blame, Mr. Criss?"**_ The principal asked.

_**"I don't know."**_ Darren answered looking down and biting his lower lip.

_**"I see. Then why would I think that you're not to blame?" **_

_**"Because we're saying the truth. Yeah, we made a mistake when we were in the hallway; but I'm not gonna allow you to treat us as if we were vandals and destructive people; because we're not."**_ Darren said firmly and respectfully.

_**"It turns out that I have proof that you've been responsible for this vandalism."**_ The principal said roughly and you and Darren looked at him terrified and stunned. That wasn't possible. _**"Mr. Criss, this is your backpack, isn't it?"**_ The principal said showing him his backpack.

_**"Yeah, I lost it for a moment."**_ Darren answered frowning.

_**"Good. And this is you backpack, isn't it?"**_ The principal asked showing you the backpack that W has took when that person harassed you minutes ago.

_**"Yes."**_ You answered frowning and kind of scared. _**"Someone took it from me earlier."**_

_**"Yes, I see. Well, I invite you to open your backpacks."**_ The principal said, handing you your backpacks.

And so you did. You opened your backpacks and when you saw what was inside you freaked out and started feeling very edgy and frightened. You and Darren exchanged terrified looks and neither of you knew what to say. Inside your backpacks, there were a lot of smoke bombs, tweezers and scissors and wiring cables.

_**"This is an ambush."**_ Darren said with trembling voice.

_**"The proofs are reliable and you've violated twenty five rules as I've said before."**_ The principal said harshly. _**"You two are expelled from St. Ignatius College Preparatory."**_

_**"What?"**_ Darren exclaimed with trembling and terrified voice.

You couldn't believe what you heard; this wasn't happening, this wasn't possible. You just couldn't be expelled because you weren't responsible of all of this. You've always been an outstanding student and Darren has always been an active student as well. That couldn't be happening. Darren, you thought. He was looking for the scholarship for the University of Michigan and now he wouldn't get it. This wasn't fair, this wasn't right. You had only one option that could change absolutely everything. You didn't know if it was for good or for bad; but it was the only option. Darren was going to kill you for this, but it was the best you could do for now.

_**"You cannot expel us because this all has been an ambush, sir; and I have the proof to prove this."**_ You finally spoke with trembling voice and the principal just looked at you raising an eyebrow. Darren looked at you very confused and frowning. _**"This has been an ambush because there are people who have been bullying us since the first day of school. They've bullied us in several ways, both physically and emotionally; hence the reason why all of our scores worsened, those are the private reasons that Criss has talked about."**_ You said firmly and Darren looked at you like 'what the hell are you saying'. The principal was now looking at you very intently. _**"They've bullied us in and off campus, in anonymity. We've been threatened with very serious things via text messages and with notes written in different places. They've been harassing us wherever we were, they've been spying us, and they've been sending us macabre objects. They've committed crimes, real crimes."**_

_**"Stop it."**_ Darren interrupted you, looking away.

_**"Why should she stop, Mr. Criss?"**_ The principal asked curiously.

_**"Because they've threatened us that if we ever tell this to someone, they were going to hurt us and our loved ones in the most outrageous ways. That's why we never spoke, because we were afraid!"**_ You answered before Darren could; now crying desperately. The principal changed his face and now he seemed kind of worried. _**"We didn't know what to do! We still don't know what to do to stop with all of this and it's maddening!"**_ You exclaimed exasperated and Darren looked down, biting his lower lip and apparently trying to hold back his tears.

_**"How would I believe you?"**_ The principal asked and you handed him your phone.

_**"Take it. There you can read all the threatening and anonymous text messages that they've been sending us."**_ You said and he grabbed it.

There was a long silence when the principal started reading the text messages. In the meantime, Darren glanced at you very serious and distressed. He seemed to be upset; no, he seemed to be worried. You knew that you shouldn't have said it, but it was the only way not to be expelled. You were feeling guilty because of this you've done and said before asking Darren if he agreed; but Darren held your hand and it made you feel a bit better. When the principal finished reading the text messages of your phone and Darren's phone, he seemed to be very puzzled and troubled.

_**"You should have spoken about this."**_ He said serious, giving back your phones. _**"This is something very serious and intolerable. We have zero tolerance for bullying. And you're telling me that you don't know who the bully is." **_

_**"No, we don't know."**_ You answered looking down.

_**"I'm gonna take care to find out who the bully is."**_ The principal assured. _**"But what has this to do with the riots caused today?" **_

_**"That we haven't done it. This bully has done it. And... And I have recorded a conversation we had before I could get out from the building after the smoke bombs."**_ You said nervously and Darren looked at you bewildered.

_**"I don't understand. You say that you don't know who the bully is, but you've talked to that bully." **_The principal said disconcerted.

_**"That's right. Today the bully cornered me in the dark and empty hallway. But the bully was wearing a mask and a costume, so I couldn't tell who it was. The same bully is the one who cut my neck with a knife."**_ You answered with teary voice as Darren looked at you even more bewildered. He still didn't know about it.

_**"Why haven't you told me that?"**_ Darren asked anguished.

_**"Sorry, I haven't had the chance. You know... we had to come here." **_You answered looking down and then you looked at the principal. _**"As I said, I recorded our conversation. It's in my phone."**_

_**"Play it."**_ The principal demanded and you nodded.

* * *

"_**Please, come in."**_ The principal said.

My dad and mom came into the room, but Freckles' father didn't come, at least not yet. They looked at me very angry and I looked away. I was still socked for that conversation that Freckles had with W. She was in danger minutes ago and I never imagined it when I noticed she wasn't coming. W could have really killed her and I was mad and scared; I could have lost Freckles because I wasn't there with her. I was feeling guilty. And that fear was more important now than my parents looking at me harshly.

_**"We'll wait until the parents of the girl arrive."**_ The principal said quiet and my parents nodded.

After fifteen minutes, someone knocked the door; surely it was her father. The principal opened the door, but it wasn't her father. It was a really pretty woman, with the same eyes and lips than Freckles, she even had freckles. Freckles' mom, this was the first time I saw her. I looked at Freckles and she seemed to be surprised, as if this was something weird for her. I remembered what she told me about her mother, that she wasn't in her home so often. But what really caught my attention was how that woman and my mom looked at each other. They were surprised and their eyes were full of tears.

_**"Cerina?"**_ Freckles' mom asked amazed. How did she know my mom's name?

_**"Natalie?"**_ My mom asked just as amazed.

They didn't say anything else; they ran to hug each other. What the fuck was that? I looked at Freckles; she was just as stunned as I was. Were my mom and Freckles' mom crying? I couldn't get what was going on, but it was too odd. I looked at my dad; he was looking at them with a smile of joy. After a while my mom and Freckles' mom broke the hug and they looked at each other with tears of joy and wide and bright smile.

_**"I'm sorry to interrupt this moment, but I have to come back to solve some troubles."**_ The principal said and they looked at the principal and nodded, now more serious, but still thrilled.

I looked at Freckles again and she looked at me. Both of us were very confused and she shrugged, frowning. I needed to know what that was.

_**"Sorry, Mr. Bradesca."**_ Freckles' mom apologized, sitting next to her. Freckles looked at her stunned and her mom smiled faintly and sadly at her.

_**"So, why are we exactly here, Mr. Bradesca? As far as we know is that the kids..." **_My mom said looking severely at me and I just looked down to avoid her gaze. _**"Have been causing riots in school and it was a serious issue." **_

_**"Yes, that's what you've been called for; but there was a misunderstanding."**_ The principal said apologetically and our parents looked at him in confusion. The principal seemed to be a bit nervous and I knew why it was. _**"We've been informed that your children have been responsible of a riot that happened in school in today; but after researches, we've concluded that they are not the responsible ones. I apologize because of my mistake and it won't happen again."**_ He said roundly.

_**"Mr. Bradesca, are you saying that the children haven't done anything wrong as we thought?"**_ My dad asked serious.

_**"Yes, Mr. Criss. That's what I'm saying, the children are innocent." **_The principal said mannerly.

_**"Good, I was really worried. My daughter is not that kind of person."**_ Freckles' mom said apparently relieved and I noticed how Freckles looked down.

_**"We know. Neither of them are rebellious students and they've never been. I apologize for the misunderstanding."**_ The principal apologized again. _**"Although you've been called for this problem, now I want to talk to you all about something else that is happening."**_ The principal said frowning, very serious and concerned.

And like that, the principal started explaining our parents all about the bullying and the harassment. Freckles and I only looked down, feeling very nervous and worried because this morning we didn't want anybody to know about this, and now everybody will know it. W was really going to do something terrible now, everything went out of control. Our parents were looking at the principal terrified and incredulous, the principal was nervous and Freckles and I were just silent, already discouraged to do or say something. Then our parents looked at us astonished and very serious. Oh good, the scolding part.

_**"Darren, why haven't you told us about this?" **_My dad asked very worried and I just looked down in silence.

_**"What would I have said? You couldn't do anything... And we couldn't say anything."**_ I answered after a while, avoiding my parents' gaze.

_**"Yes, we could have done something. Darren, this is not a joke, this is not an innocent game. You should stop taking things as if everything is a videogame game and start taking things in a serious way." **_My father said scolding me and I looked at him upset.

_**"You have no idea if I took it serious or not and you have no idea of all the things I have done to stop with this! So do not tell me that."**_ I answered annoyed.

_**"Darren, what your father tried to say is that this is something very serious and we're worried. Something really bad could have happened to you and we didn't know this was happening, so we didn't know that this was what was worrying you all this time. We thought that you were worried for your grades in school, but not for this. We're your parents, Darren; we needed to know it."**_ My mom said distressed and I looked down, feeling guilty.

_**"I'm sorry, but I couldn't do anything. They threatened us! We weren't allowed to say anything or they were going to hurt us and all of you."**_ I said desperately with teary voice. And my mom hugged me, so thanks to that hug I started crying like a baby.

_**"Darren..."**_ My mom said distressed and with a hint of guilt. _**"We're sorry because we couldn't find out that this was what was happening to you. We could have prevented so many things, you should have told us. This makes us feel like bad parents."**_

_**"No, mom."**_ I said anguished, looking at her. _**"This is not your fault, you aren't bad parents. I know you're the best parents, so I knew that if I ever told you this, you were going to try to help us. And we didn't want it, because if you helped us, then the bully was going to hurt you and we didn't want it. I'm so sorry." **_I said sobbing and my mom hugged me again.

_**"And why you haven't told me?''**_ Freckles' mom asked looking at Freckles. I also looked at Freckles as everybody did. Freckles was looking down, feeling very sad.

_**"What would be the point of telling you? You're never home, you barely know what I do or not; you wouldn't have done anything about this." **_She answered gloomy.

I noticed how her mother looked at her downhearted and broken. She was about to cry, I knew that because she had exactly the same eyes than Freckles. That was an uncomfortable situation, no one was talking and everybody was looking at them.

_**"And I know it's because you're worried about your job all the time, and I do understand you. I didn't want to worry you with this thing; I didn't want to be a bothersome."**_ Freckles said still looking down and gloomy. Man, that was really sad.

_**"You're not a bothersome. I worry about you, sweetheart, and I wish you could have told me, so I could have been here with you."**_ Her mom said with teary voice and now shedding tears. Now everybody looked down.

_**"Mom... You have your job and you don't have time for us, you wouldn't have been able to be here. I do understand it."**_ Freckles answered afflicted, avoiding her mom's gaze._** "It's not time to talk about this now..."**_

She said that and everybody looked at her in silence. I just wanted to hug her, because I knew how she must be feeling; because she has told me about her mom. But I couldn't do that now because it'd have been inappropriate. There was an uncomfortable silence that the principal broke.

_**"Well, I think this is something that each parent should talk with their child in private. As the principal of this school, I'll take steps to end with the bullying issue. You can be sure that we're gonna establish a safety policy against the bullying, so your children will be safe."**_ The principal said very serious. _**"That's all for today. And if you excuse me now, I have to go. Have a good afternoon."**_

And as soon as the principal left the room, Freckles stood up and ran away. I looked at her in confusion and, without seeing anyone in the room, I ran after her. I yelled her name several times, but she didn't stop. She even left the gym and now she was walking outside; no one was there now. I knew to where she was running: to the same square that I used to go whenever I was having a bad moment; to the same square I went when Freckles couldn't remember me and I needed to let out all I was feeling. She kept running and I kept running behind her, until she stopped near the swings and there, she dropped herself on the grass. I finally reached her and the first thing I did was to kneel behind her and to hug her tightly. She covered her face with her hands and stared crying while I kissed her head and I held her in my arms, trying to reassure her. Yeah, I knew what was going on with her: she still had the pressure of our suspension because of the video, the pressure for having told everybody what was happening to us about the bullying thing, the pressure of having talked to W in person while she was alone and helpless, the pressure of having met her mother only because the principal called her in a very bad situation, and the pressure of not knowing what was going to happen from now on. Yeah, that was too much to hold back and I could understand it.

_**"It'll get better, baby."**_ I said softly and reassuringly, still holding her. She only turned around and kneeled, so now we were face to face. I saw her really sad and scared eyes before she hugged me tightly.

_**"I know, I know."**_ She said still sobbing but trying to calm down. _**"But right now..."**_

_**"I know, right now you just need to let out all you feel."**_ I said rubbing my cheek in her head while she was burying her face on my chest. _**"I got you. Just cry all you have to cry."**_

_**"I don't wanna cry anymore. I'm tired of crying all the time."**_ She said softly moving away from me and wiping away her tears. _**"This is exactly what W wants and I won't allow it. We'll find W and we're gonna win. We will."**_ She said determined and so self-confident that amazed me.

_**"Yes, we will."**_ I assured looking deeply into her eyes and now holding both of her hands.

_**"Now this is gonna get worse, because I'm sure the principal is gonna talk about the bullying thing, so the entire school will know about it. Therefore, W is gonna get really mad and will start doing worse things. But we won't let W to beat us or bring us down. We need to start acting, to get in the game and play our own way."**_ She said again very self-confident and determined. I was just listening to her very intently. _**"If W scares us, we're gonna scare this person as well, but not in an aggressive way. We need to show that we can stand for something we want without the need of being aggressive and bullying people. We need to distract W, we need to make that person think that we know who is, even if we have no idea. We need to stop being the weak people to start being strong; W must not see us as helpless people. And sneakily, we're gonna get more clues about W; we're not gonna try to solve and sort the obstacles and evil plans that W makes for us, we're gonna face them. Because we're not gonna play that game anymore, we're gonna play our game and that is to deal those obstacles and not to try to stop them; we're gonna focus on finally find out who W is without any kind of distraction caused by the macabre plans of W."**_ She said very firmly and confidently.

_**"That sounds good... But..."**_ I started saying very thoughtful. _**"How are we gonna get more clues about W?" **_

_**"That's the hard part. We'll need to infiltrate in between them."**_ She answered resolutely. It seemed as if she'd been thinking about this since a long time ago.

_**"How?"**_ I asked curiously and she looked at me very fixedly.

_**"We need to act and pretend to be different. I've been thinking about something, but I don't know if you'd agree..."**_ She said looking away, nervous.

_**"Tell me."**_ I said now even more intrigued.

_**"We need to pretend that we're not together, that the break up is real."**_ She said firmly and I didn't like it at all. I just frowned and looked down, but I wanted to hear what the point of this was. _**"That way you can infiltrate between Susan, who is one of the suspects. You have to do it because Susan is friends with Karen and Karen is only your friend. Jen told me that she and Karen don't get along."**_

_**"Freckles... Do you really think that we have to get to that point? I mean, pretending the break up is not necessary."**_ I said serious, still not liking the idea.

_**"It is. You need to pretend that you don't stand me anymore, so then Susan will trust you. You need to pretend that you want to revenge because... I don't know, tell them that I cheated on you."**_ She said trying to convince me and I looked away, disgusted. I didn't want to do it and say it. _**"Listen, it's only pretending it. If you say you want to revenge and in case Susan is W; well, she'll tell you a plan to do to revenge and if it's similar to W plans, then we'll know that it's Susan." **_

_**"I don't think it's gonna work. You live in my house; they won't believe that I want to revenge or shit like that."**_ I said still disgusted.

_**"Well, they'll believe it if you say that... That I cheated on you with Chuck."**_ She said nervously and I looked at her very upset.

_**"No fucking way."**_ I answered coldly.

_**"Darren, please!"**_ She begged but she wasn't going to change my mind that this idea was terrible. _**"Darren, it's just to pretend it, until we figure out if Susan is or is not W."**_

_**"No! No, Freckles! I don't like this idea; I don't want to pretend that we broke up, that you cheated on me with my brother. No."**_ I refused energetically.

_**"Please, we're gonna pretend it only in school. Just for a while. I know it's hard because it is for me too. But... Think about the goal. Please."**_ She insisted supplicant.

_**"Well, in the supposedly case I do it... What will you do? I mean, you said that we all have to infiltrate between them; but you're only saying that I am the only one I have to do it."**_ I said still disgusted and annoyed.

_**"No, you're not gonna be the only one. Mandy will help us, I know she will. I'll tell her to pretend she is the same person she was used to be with me. She'll be like a bitch again; I'll beg her to come back with Jim. Jim is for sure one of the team, so we'll get a lot of information."**_ Freckles said.

_**"That's insane. You can't tell Mandy to come back with Jim after the way he treated her and all the things he forced her to do. What is wrong with you? I mean, since when do you think that a plan is more important than what people feel?"**_ I asked very upset and she looked down anguished.

_**"It is not. I just want to find out who W is and we have to act and I can't have another idea better than this one. This is how W plays, so this is the only way."**_ Freckles said feeling bad.

_**"Okay, let's just suppose that Mandy and I do what you say... What else?"**_ I asked still in disagree.

_**"Jen. I told you that Dean was one of the team; I found it out while I couldn't remember anything. Well, I noticed how Dean looks at Jen. He likes her; I think he has a crush on her. And Jen and Dean are kind of friends... Jen could get closer to Dean, maybe she could flirt with him but without doing anything. She also has to pretend she isn't my friend anymore because I supposedly cheated on you. So maybe that way Dean will trust on her and tell her W plans."**_ Freckles said now more nervous than before. She knew this was a terrible idea. I couldn't believe she was saying all that._** "And I... I'll pretend to be the very shy and weak and very insecure girl. And... And they'll harass only me. And... It'll seem I'm alone again so it'll be easier to find out who W is."**_

_**"You can't tell people what to do, Freckles. More if they don't want to do it."**_ I answered looking away, serious but not harsh. I noticed how she looked down and said nothing._** "I know that your intentions aren't bad, but maybe this is not the way." **_

_**"Yes, maybe you're right..."**_ She whispered and let out my hands. _**"I'll take a walk..."**_ She said stricken, standing up.

_**"Baby, wait..."**_ I said sighing, trying to hold her hand but she moved it away.

_**"I'm fine. I just want to take a walk alone."**_ She said again and when I was about to answer her, she interrupted me with a forced smile.

_**"Please, don't do that."**_ I begged looking deeply into her eyes and she finally looked at me. _**"Do not force a smile, do not pretend you're fine, and do not go alone because you're feeling bad. Goddammit, I know you, so I know you're pretending it."**_

_**"I just want to clear my mind and think about something else we can do."**_ She answered looking away.

_**"Then don't go. Stay here and together we'll think what to do." **_I said now standing up and lifting her chin so she could look at me. _**"Freckles, that's something you still have to learn; you don't have to carry the world upon your shoulders alone; when you carry the world upon your shoulders with someone else, it's much more rewarding and pleasant. When I told you I wanted to be with you, it's not only because I want to spend time with you only to kiss and cuddle; I also want to share with you your good and bad moments, your fears and your dreams, and lots of things; and I also want to share mine with you."**_ I said looking into her eyes and she looked down again. I sighed and looked down to stay silent for a while. Then I looked up at her again. _**"Alright. Is that what you really want to try to do? To figure out if pretending not being together is the way to find out who W is?"**_ I asked and she didn't answer. _**"Okay, we'll do it and we'll see if it works or not." **_

_**"No... I don't want to force you. It was just an idea, I don't know. I don't know what to do and it was an idea that I thought maybe it could work. But no..." **_She said sighing and frowning.

_**"We'll do it."**_ I said still in disagree but trying to support her. After all, I also didn't know what else we could do. _**"If it works, then good. And if it doesn't, well, we'll figure out another way. After all, we have to give it a try; we never know what can happen."**_

_**"No. You were right; I can't decide what people should do. It's not right."**_ She answered quickly, feeling ashamed.

_**"You won't force me. If Mandy and Jen don't want to do it, well, then they won't do it and it'll be fine. But I'm telling you that I'll do it. We can do it; after all, we have nothing to lose."**_ I said shrugging and then I smiled slightly at her.

_**"Are you..."**_ She started asking insecure and I interrupted her.

_**"I'm sure. But... In reward for doing this and to pretend that I'm not your boyfriend, something that is gonna be a super hard thing to do..."**_ I said looking mischievously at her and she frowned curiously. _**"As a reward of all the pain I'll suffer because I won't be able to kiss you in school like when we were in the hallway..."**_ I said giggling and still looking at her mischievously as she started smiling amused now. _**"You have to go on a date with me tonight."**_ I said now looking at her fondly.

_**"Like... Our first date?"**_ She asked amused.

_**"Our first date but not the last one."**_ I said looking at her with a widely smile and she smiled brightly. _**"You'll have to go on a date with me every Monday night from now on."**_

_**"Seriously? Ugh."**_ She complained and I looked at her bewildered, raising my eyebrows. I wasn't expecting that kind of answer. _**"Okay then. But on Friday nights, you will be the one who will have to go on a date with me."**_ She said looking at me amused and mischievously and I laughed, feeling more relieved. I really thought she was complaining because she didn't want to go on a date with me.

_**"Deal."**_ I said smiling widely. _**"Can I kiss you or am not allowed to do it now?"**_

She didn't answer. She only wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed my lips very passionately. Whoa, that was amazing.

* * *

_**"So, why exactly are we here?"**_ Mandy asked looking at you.

After Darren and you spent time alone in that square, just thinking about your new plan and after talking about random things; you told him that you wanted to spend time with your sister and Jen, just a girl's time. He understood and he even joked about it.

_**"Yeah, I really don't wanna be there when you start talking about periods and stuff."**_ He said.

Then he told you that he wanted to come back to his house because it had been a long since the last time he practiced with his guitar and he had to do a show for school in a few days. So after it you texted both of them to meet you in a coffee shop that was near the square. And so there were the three of you, after you talked about all that happened in school, what the principal told you and all you told to the principal. Fortunately, they weren't mad at you for telling to the principal about W; they understood it was the only option not to be expelled. But you actually called them for another reason.

_**"Well, I was hoping you could give me some advices..." **_You said nervously and blushing. This was ridiculous.

_**"What about?"**_ Jen asked curiously.

_**"Uhm... well... Oh, this is so silly."**_ You said feeling very ashamed and like an idiot.

Jen and Mandy just giggled softly. You'd never understand why people had the tendency to laugh when you were feeling embarrassed. You just looked down and blushed hard, so then Mandy looked at you suspiciously.

_**"Oh no, please do not tell me that you want to get laid with Criss and you want advices."**_ Mandy said kind of disturbed and you looked at her with eyes wide open while Jen just giggled softly.

_**"What the fuck? Hell no!"**_ You answered bewildered and more embarrassed than ever.

Why would she think something like that? She knew you were still virgin and Darren was your first boyfriend and you were dating only since days. That wouldn't be right, at least for you. Yes, you loved Darren a lot, but losing virginity wasn't an inconsequential thing; it was something really important and you first needed to learn a lot of things, first you needed to be sure that Darren was the right person for you, first you needed to make sure that you wanted to surrender to him with all your soul and that he wanted the same. Come on, you still didn't know how to be someone's girlfriend, so you couldn't do that yet.

_**"Thanks god. Because I'm not ready yet to have this kind of conversation with my little sister; I mean, for me you're still my little sister and sometimes I refuse to see that you're turning into a woman. So... I hope it doesn't happen any soon." **_Mandy said with all her honesty, apparently more relieved.

_**"It won't happen."**_ You answered in a whisper, blushing hard and looking down still ashamed.

_**"So, what is it?"**_ Mandy asked curiously and both she and Jen were looking at you intrigued.

_**"I... Well... Darren asked me to go on a date with him."**_ You said very low and very shy.

_**"Did he?"**_ Jen asked amazed, raising her eyebrows and then she laughed amused. _**"I can't believe it."**_

_**"Why?"**_ You asked confused, frowning. Mandy looked at Jen just as the same way than you.

_**"Well, I remember Darren telling me all the time..."**_ She said laughing and then she tried to get serious to start imitating Darren's voice. _**"It's completely absurd and stupid to ask a girl to go on a date. I mean, that thing of giving flowers and having dinner, actually going to have dinner but not eating a damn shit... And that entire thing about flirting almost forcedly and the chocolates and... Wearing a damn suit, man, that's fucking uncomfortable! And just the fact of asking someone to go on a date... It's so dull! Like, what am I? An outdated and corny old man? Fuck no, that's so uncool; and sappy, mushy and sugary. I'd never ask anyone, no matter who, to go on a date. Dates totally suck."**_ Jen finished imitating Darren's voice and everybody laughed. _**"Look at him now, asking you on a date. I knew he was going to do it sometime and I knew it'd be with you. He's dumbfounded and so haunted with you."**_

_**"Such a revelation!" **_Mandy said laughing out loud. _**"Is this your first date?" **_

_**"Yes, it is."**_ You answered shyly, but still amused for what Jen said. _**"That's why I wanted your advice... I've never had a date, so I don't know how it's like or what you have to wear or say... I don't know."**_ You admitted ashamed.

_**"Oh my god, this is amazing!"**_ Mandy exclaimed really excited. _**"You totally came with the best people that can advise you! I know exactly what you should wear!"**_

_**"We should go shopping!"**_ Jen exclaimed just as excited, looking at Mandy. _**"We could buy her new clothes and shoes! New shoes!"**_

_**"And the make up! Oh, oh, oh! And we should go to the hairdresser."**_ Mandy kept saying excited, looking at Jen. _**"You know what? A purse. We need to buy a purse, it's really important because you never know where to put all your personal stuff."**_

_**"Oh my god, yes! And we should also buy earrings and a necklace." **_Jen said still excited. You were just looking at them agape.

_**"I just... That's too much. It's only a date."**_ You said frowning.

_**"Your first date."**_ Jen emphasized.

_**"With the love of your life." **_Mandy emphasized just as Jen did. _**"Why are we wasting time? Right now you should be trying on a dress in a clothing store." **_

_**"I don't want... I... Why don't I wear something that I already have?"**_ You said uncomfortably.

_**"No way. Your first date has to be unforgettable. The amazing thing of dates is to surprise the boy; you need to kill Darren." **_Mandy said winking and Jen nodded in agreement.

_**"I do agree. Just, let's go and do not complain, Freckles! It's a decision already taken; we're going shopping!"**_ Jen jumped excited with a huge smile.

So you were now in a clothing store; Jen and Mandy very excited looking for some dresses and you just moody, looking at all the clothes in that store. There was no way you could wear any of those clothes; you didn't want to be there; you didn't want to buy something new like a stupid. Mandy and Jen suddenly walked to you very excited and showed you a red short casual gown of soft satin; sleeveless, strapless, with bubble hem and knee length; with a red bow. You looked at it stunned because it was a really precious dress, but also you looked at it terrified because there was no way you could wear it. You said nothing, you just turned around and started walking away, pretending to look something else, but Mandy and Jen grabbed you by your arms and took you to the fitting room.

_**"No, I don't want to try on that dress! I don't like dresses! I've never ever worn a dress."**_ You refused energetically, trying to run away from there, but Mandy and Jen cornered you, showing you the dress.

_**"Exactly for that reason is why you have to wear a dress tonight."**_ Mandy said smiling excited.

_**"I don't want." **_You said frowning and annoyed.

_**"Try it on, Freckles."**_ Jen said almost bossy and pulled you inside the fitting room with the dress and closing the door. _**"I won't open the door until you try it on and show us how it fits on you!"**_ Jen yelled behind the door.

"_**Fine."**_ You huffed annoyed.

You took off your clothes to put on the dress. Once you were wearing the dress, you looked at yourself anguished in the mirror. It was very uncomfortable to wear; you've never worn a short dress or short clothing because you didn't like to show your legs. You also have never worn tight fitting clothing like this dress; you always worn loosely fitting clothes because you didn't like to have a flattering line to an outfit. The dress itself was wonderful, but it didn't look good on you. That kind of clothing never looked good on you, because those were clothes for thin people. You felt really depressed while looking how awful that dress looked on you; it was the real reason why you didn't want to go shopping, because you knew that nothing would look beautiful on you. It was ridiculous to think that you would find something nice to wear, that maybe you could look pretty for the first time in your life. Shyly and feeling very uncomfortable, you opened the door, crossing your arms, round-shouldered and trying to cover your legs; and looking around to be sure that no one was looking at you. When Jen and Mandy noticed that you finally opened the door, they looked at you very curious.

_**"Alright, uncross your arms."**_ Jen demanded and you did it very slowly, looking away and uncomfortable.

_**"Okay, now stand up straight."**_ Mandy said pulling your shoulders back softly. _**"And separate your legs slightly." **_She demanded and you did it, very uncomfortable and looking down.

_**"Lift your head and keep your eyes straight ahead." **_Jen said softly, lifting your chin. _**"Beautiful."**_ Jen whispered looking at you from head to toe.

_**"You look splendid, sis."**_ Mandy exclaimed cheerfully, also looking at you from head to toe. You frowned and looked down again.

_**"I look ridiculous. This dress looks ridiculous on me."**_ You said distressed, still frowning.

_**"Are you insane?"**_ Jen asked bewildered. _**"I've never seen you more beautiful than now. I can't understand why you don't wear clothes like this."**_

_**"Because I'm fat and ugly."**_ You answered in a whisper, feeling really depressed.

_**"What?"**_ Mandy asked disturbed and incredulous. _**"You're not fat and you aren't ugly at all! What are you saying?" **_

_**"I know I am. Do not lie at me because I know what I am."**_ You answered sighing and trying to get into the fitting room again to take off the dress; but Mandy stopped you by grabbing your hand.

_**"Look at me, sister."**_ Mandy said very roundly and firmly and you looked up at her very sadly. She was looking at you straight in the eye. _**"You are not fat. I don't know who told you that, but the person who said that is a real asshole and is jealous of you. In any case, if you're fat... What's the matter with it? Very skinny girls aren't attractive; the curves of a woman are sexy. You think you're fat because you're used to see models women in all the ads and commercials, always flawless, very skinny, without cellulite and without stretch marks, and with a perfect porcelain skin; but what almost no one knows is that mostly everything is a lie. They do have cellulite and stretch marks like us, they do have pimples like us, and they aren't so skinny; everything is photoshopped, so they can look very beautiful. But reality isn't like that and you feel brought down because you think you could never be like them; but you're depressed for something that isn't true. Bodies are exhausting, always screaming at us from billboards and televisions and magazines, always telling us that there is something more we could be whittling down and bulking up. Do not be cheated by what the commercials show, because you have to understand that this is a consumer society and a very material one; and you, more than anyone, know that those things aren't important in life."**_ Mandy said very softly. _**"You're very beautiful, only that you're afraid to show your beauty. Why? You just should show the world how beautiful you are without feeling ashamed of it, because there's nothing to be ashamed of."**_

_**"But I can't feel beautiful."**_ You said looking down.

_**"Because you have to believe it."**_ Mandy said now turning you around to make you see in the mirror, while she and Jen stood behind you. _**"Look at you. Tell me what you don't like about you."**_

_**"My legs are fat."**_ You said.

_**"They aren't fat; you look them fat because you've never worn short clothing."**_ Mandy answered softly. _**"What else?"**_

_**"I don't like my body and this dress is very tight fitting."**_ You said frowning.

_**"I think this dress enhances the curves of your body, making you look very sexy and appealing. I do agree with Jen that you should wear more tight fitting clothing, because it makes you look outstanding."**_ Mandy answered with a slight smile. _**"What else?"**_

_**"I'm very tiny and short, I look like a dwarf."**_ You said still frowning.

_**"Tiny and short people are more adorable and cute. But if you feel uncomfortable with it, you can fix it by wearing heels."**_ Mandy answered shrugging. _**"What else?" **_

_**"My face looks haggard and my hair is long but formless and boring."**_ You answered, feeling bad.

_**"The make-up makes magic; my face always looks haggard but I fix it with a little make up; and there's nothing bad of your face looking like that, it's natural and you're still beautiful without any make up on. And your hair... I told you, we're going to the salon." **_Mandy answered winking._** "Is there something else?"**_

_**"I hate all the skin moles and freckles in my entire body and face. It seems that my skin is dirty."**_ You answered looking at your body.

_**"Those freckles in your skin are the ones which make you unique and exceptional. You shouldn't hate them; you should love them; because it's a big part of you, one of the things that make you wonderful."**_ Mandy said with a sweet smile on her face.

_**"And remember that those freckles are the ones that Darren loves. And damn, he completely loves them."**_ Jen said giggling. _**"I remember the first time I met you, when Darren and I walked to you while you were lying against a tree; the first thing he noticed was your freckles; that's why we all call you freckles now. Do you remember what he told you that day?"**_ Jen asked amused and you laughed softly. Of course you remembered.

_**"Yes... He said something like..."**_ You started saying amused and then you started imitating Darren's voice. _**"It's just you have freckles and with the sun those freckles are more noticeable and I always make up nicknames for people...Not that I'm saying that having freckles is awful, I have freckles too, yours are cute...Uhm, doesn't matter."**_ You said laughing and Jen and Mandy laughed along with you.

_**"He was freaking out that time! I've never seen him so nervous."**_ Jen laughed really amused. _**"And when I asked him why he loved you so much, one of the many things he answered was that he loved your freckles. I don't know, I think he's kind of obsessed with them."**_ She said smiling and you chuckled softly.

_**"See? You're beautiful. Now look at you in the mirror again. Now trace the rises and falls of the little ripples on your skin: the scars, the dimples, the cellulite; and think about how much you try to hide these things in your day-to-day. Wonder why you hate them so much, and if this hate stems from somewhere within yourself, or as a result of being told all your life that it's wrong to have physical flaws. Wonder what you would think of your body if you never looked at a magazine, if you never thought about celebrities and models, if you never had to wonder where someone would rate you on a scale of 10. Look at yourself until the initial recoil softens, and you can consider your features in a more forgiving frame of mind."**_ Mandy said placing her hands on your shoulders. _**"Tell me what you see."**_

_**"I...I, well..." **_You started stammering very shyly.

_**"I see a pretty girl, wearing a beautiful dress because she's going on a first date with the guy who loves every single thing of her. I see a girl who is gorgeous inside and outside. I see a girl with shinning eyes and a girl who irradiates purity and graciousness. I only see an awesome person right there. That's you."**_ Mandy said very kindly and warmly and Jen nodded behind her with a nice smile.

_**"Thank you."**_ You said thrilled, looking at Mandy and Jen and then you all hugged. You didn't know what you would do without them.

So yes, they convinced you to buy the dress and after it you went to a shoe store, where Jen chose the heels for you. When you looked at those shoes, you didn't see how amazing they were; instead you got scared because damn, those were so high. When you tried them on, you, of course, almost fall down.

_**"How the hell am I supposed to wear these shoes? I'm gonna stumble!" **_You exclaimed terrified while you were trying to walk with those heels, losing balance sometimes. Jen and Mandy only laughed. _**"And my feet hurt already! It's like as if someone is stabbing my heel!" **_

_**"Well, it's only until you get used at it."**_ Mandy said laughing. _**"That's why you're going to start using those shoes from now on. You need to practice."**_

_**"Are you crazy? I'm not going to walk with these shoes right now!"**_ You exclaimed terrified.

And there you were, walking to the store to buy the make-up, the purse and the earrings and necklace with those heels. It was a torture, you couldn't understand how people could wear heels all the time; this was sick. More than once you felt very ashamed because you wouldn't stop stumbling. Jen and Mandy had to help you a lot to walk properly, while they were laughing at your terrified face. Once that you bought everything they forced you to take, you finally went to the salon. And they kept you there for more than two hours. You didn't want to look what they were doing, because you suffered when you saw them cutting your hair. When they finished and they forced you to look in the mirror (you really didn't want to do it because you were sure that you were going to cry), you parted your lips, agape. That wasn't you. Your hair was now very smooth and layered on the ends with just a few inches of layering from the bottom up and now you had bangs. Now your hair had a lively appearance and definition and it was still long. You never thought that a haircut could make such a change on you and, for the very first time, you liked it. Of course Jen and Mandy loved it, they seemed to be more excited than you and it was funny. This day was completely dedicated to a makeover and you were feeling pretty for the first time. After all of that, you all came back to Darren's house to get ready for the date. Of course Jen and Mandy checked if Darren wasn't near so you could go running to your bedroom to get ready. They insisted that Darren needed to see your change just when you were going out. Fortunately, Darren wasn't around and no one saw you. Feeling very happy, Jen and Mandy helped you to get ready for the date. They did everything for you and when you were finally ready, you couldn't believe that was you in the mirror. You looked different, you looked pretty. You only smiled happily, wishing that Darren could like it.

* * *

After Freckles and I were in that square and she went out with Jen and Mandy, I came back home with the idea of practicing with my guitar the song I had to play for school. Of course I couldn't because I spent the whole afternoon thinking about my date with Freckles. I was super happy for that because this was going to be our first date. Yeah, I always thought that dates were stupid and sappy, but I don't know, I really wanted to do this with Freckles; I wanted to do different things with her, things that I never imagined I could do ever. But there was a problem... I didn't know how these things of dates worked. Where should I take her? What should I say on the date? What should I wear? So many questions and I couldn't answer anyone. I tried to search in internet, yeah I fucking did it, about dates and shit; but nothing convinced me. All of those dates whether were so romantic and for old people or they were like intimate and sensual. I didn't want it, I wanted a natural date. Well, I was going to look like an idiot, but I really needed help now; so I did what I thought I'd never do.

_**"Bro? Can I ask you some advice?"**_ I said very shyly entering into his bedroom. He was just reading a book about music and when I said it he looked at me intrigued.

_**"You? Asking me an advice? Who are you and what have you done with my little bro?"**_ Chuck asked making fun of me and I threw him a shoe that was near me.

_**"Shut up. Dammit, I shouldn't have come here."**_ I said feeling embarrassed and annoyed.

_**"I was just kidding, bro. No need to get mad, chill out!" **_Chuck laughed looking at me. _**"Come on, shoot. It seems something interesting."**_

_**"I... Well... I invited Freckles on a date."**_ I said looking down, feeling very ashamed. Man, I couldn't believe I was talking to my brother about this. _**"And... I don't know how it's like to have a date with someone. And I was wondering if could advise me, you know, you've had lots of dates and all..." **_

_**"You invited someone on a date? You, the one who was used to say that dates were ridiculous and lame? The one who said that would never ask someone to go on a date? Whoa, Darren."**_ Chuck asked amazed and amused.

_**"Yeah, shut up."**_ I answered annoyed. _**"I don't know why I did it, it just... It didn't seem hard when I asked her it." **_

_**"You did it because that's normal, bro. It's normal that you want to spend time alone with your girlfriend. And dates aren't bad; you always have a date when you're alone with her. You think that having a date is going out to have dinner and pay for it and when you wear a suit and you bring flowers; but that's only a formal date imposed by romantic movies. That's only a kind of date but not the only one."**_ Chuck said shrugging and I was just looking at him frowning. _**"I'm sure that's why you didn't like this thing of dates, am I wrong?"**_

_**"No, you're right... I just... That's not my thing."**_ I answered uncomfortably.

_**"Then don't do it."**_ Chuck answered shrugging. _**"If you do something while feeling uncomfortable, you're gonna screw it."**_

_**"But Chuck... She seemed to be pretty excited when I invited her to go on a date. I can't just tell her that I don't like that syrupy romanticism of movies and let her down."**_ I said troubled. _**"I can't cancel a date, it'd be wrong."**_

_**"I'm not saying that you should cancel it. I'm just saying if taking her to a restaurant and bringing her flowers is uncomfortable for you, then find another way to have a date with her."**_ Chuck answered tranquilly.

_**"Such as?"**_ I asked curiously because I honestly had no idea.

_**"You like music, she enjoys hearing you singing; you both like being outside in the night, just lying down in grass and talking about random things... You both like movies... I don't know... I do think that a perfect date for you two would be if you take her to the movies and then you go for a walk in the park or somewhere where you feel comfortable. And it'd be a good idea if you bring your guitar to sing her a song."**_ Chuck answered still tranquil.

_**"Yeah... That actually could work..."**_ I said thoughtful. Actually it was a great idea.

_**"See? Then, having a date isn't so bad and sappy and ridiculous as you thought it was."**_ Chuck said raising an eyebrow, amused. _**"But you'd like to wear something nice, bro. I don't think that wearing that tee of Captain America is gonna work." **_

_**"Hey, what's wrong with you? This tee is totally awesome."**_ I answered amused.

_**"Boys."**_ My mom suddenly said entering the room. _**"I've been calling you, but you didn't answer."**_

_**"Sorry, mom. We were busy."**_ Chuck apologized.

_**"All right. I wanted to let you know that we have visitors for dinner, so I want you two to look presentable." **_Mom said serious and I looked at her in disbelief.

_**"I can't tonight, mom."**_ I complained. Man, seriously? Right when I dared to ask Freckles to go on a date my mom had to invite someone for dinner? It wasn't fair.

_**"Darren, you're gonna be here tonight. So dress well and take a shower."**_ My mom said bossy.

_**"Mom, really. Darren can't be here tonight."**_ Chuck said and I looked at him very thankful. _**"He has a date tonight."**_ He said then, amused and now I looked at him upset. Mom didn't know anything about Freckles and me.

_**"A date?"**_ My mom asked curiously. Dammit, why did she have to be so curious all the time? Chuck knew it. Fuck you, Chuck.

_**"Yeah, with his girlfriend."**_ Chuck answered and I really hated him.

_**"Darren, do you have a girlfriend?"**_ My mom asked very intrigued, looking at me serious.

_**"Yeah..."**_ I answered shyly looking down and cursing at Chuck inside.

_**"Why haven't you told me about this?"**_ She asked insistent.

_**"I was going to. But... You know... Things happened and I never had the chance... Whatever, mom!"**_ I exclaimed feeling very embarrassed.

_**"And who is this girl? Charles, do you know her?"**_ She asked looking at Chuck now.

_**"Kind of, yeah."**_ He answered shrugging, as if he was indifferent. I knew he was enjoying this situation of seeing me ashamed.

_**"Mom, please, stop!"**_ I huffed in annoyance. _**"You will soon meet her; just... stop for now."**_

_**"All right."**_ My mom answered nodding and I looked at her suspiciously. I couldn't believe she really stopped. _**"And I'm sorry, Darren... But you'll have to invite your girlfriend on a date in another opportunity. Tonight we have visitors and you must be here since the visitors are Natalie, your friend's mother, and her other daughter, Amanda."**_

_**"What?"**_ I asked in disbelief, raising my eyebrows in amazement.

Man, that was a terrible idea. Did Freckles know that her mother was going to come over here? She didn't seem to be happy when she saw her mother in school. And what would her mother say about the fact she was living at our home now? What would her mother think of me? And why would my mother invite Freckles' mother to dinner?

_**"Does Freckles know about this, mom?"**_ I asked suspiciously.

_**"I just told her, before I came here."**_ My mom answered tranquil.

_**"And how did she take it? Mom, first you should've asked her if she wanted her mother to come here. Maybe she's not comfortable with it."**_ I complained, feeling upset.

_**"Well, son, she's her mother. At first Freckles seemed to be sad, but then she smiled and said that it was alright."**_ My mom answered.

_**"Ugh, mom. She pretended that smile because she's too nice to tell someone that she doesn't like something. Oh mom! You shouldn't have invited her mother here."**_ I complained very upset now.

_**"Darren, is her mother and she's in all her rights to want to see her daughter. Maybe they'd want to talk too, so they can solve their problems and she can come back to live at her home." **_My mom said firmly, very serious.

_**"Is that what you want? Is Freckles a sort of burden for you? I can't believe this."**_ I exclaimed annoyed.

_**"Darren... I think you didn't get what mom tried to say because you're upset. That's not what mom tried to say at all; she's telling you that maybe this is an opportunity for them to talk and that's good for Freckles."**_ Chuck said tranquil.

_**"Thanks, Charles. That's what I tried to say. Freckles is not a burden neither for me nor your father. You know we like her and we're glad to have her in our home. But I do think that your friend has been feeling down lately and maybe what she needs is to talk to her mother."**_ My mom said quietly.

_**"Yeah, maybe."**_ I answered curtly, still feeling a bit upset.

_**"Good. Sorry Darren for ruining your plans with your girlfriend; but I think your friend will need you here and it'd be nice if her mother gets to know the boy who's living with her daughter." **_My mom said and I looked away.

_**"Fine, I'll stay. But... I'll invite my girlfriend to come over here tonight, then."**_ I said without asking permission, it was more like 'I'm gonna do it, want it or not.' My mom only looked at me in surprise.

_**"I don't think it'd be proper tonight, son."**_ She answered.

_**"Please, mom! You wanted to meet her? Well, this is your chance. Please?"**_ I almost begged now and my mom sighed.

_**"Fine, you can invite her."**_ She finally answered pretending to be resigned, but I noticed she had an amused smile on her face. She really wanted to know who my girlfriend was.

After all of that, my mom turned around to leave and I sat on a cushion that was on the floor. Well, maybe this could be my date now; maybe the best thing to do was to introduce Freckles to my parents as my girlfriend; maybe it was time to tell them. I knew that my parents liked her, come on, my mom just said that; but I didn't know if they would like the idea of her being my girlfriend, more now that we lived in the same house. But I was sure that I wanted Freckles as my girlfriend and I was happy and proud to be her boyfriend; so... Why shouldn't I introduce her to my parents? Maybe she still didn't want it; maybe she was still feeling uncomfortable whenever I called her my girlfriend. Damn, I never asked her that. I looked up and I found Chuck looking at me straight in the eye, very curious and amused.

_**"Are you sure that you want to tell mom and dad that Freckles is your girlfriend?" **_He asked with the same look.

_**"Why not?"**_ I asked amused and shrugging.

_**"You know exactly why."**_ Chuck answered amused and I giggled softly. Yeah, I knew why but I played fool; I was sure of my decision. _**"As soon as they figure out that she isn't your friend anymore, they'll kill you with questions that you must answer properly; they're gonna start controlling what you do or not; you'll have to say goodbye to all the times you want to sleep with her; they'll tell you 'the talk' and that's so awkward, man; they're gonna start asking you private things; they'll ask you always about her; whenever you feel upset, sad or happy, they'll relate it all with her and they're gonna ask if everything is fine and they'll force you to tell them what's going on and they'll be very overprotective. So tell me now... Are you sure you want to do it?"**_ Chuck asked one more time, looking at me very intently, raising an eyebrow.

_**"Yeah, I want to."**_ I answered smiling really amused.

_**"Whoa, bro. You must be really in love with that girl to be willing to face this kind of torture."**_ Chuck said raising his eyebrows and nodding.

_**"Yep, I am."**_ I said still smiling, now widely.

_**"Good, because I heart her and she's cool for you."**_ He said now smiling kindly. _**"You'd really want to wear something cool, bro and I'm totally helping you; that tee? Not cool for this very important event. Come on."**_

_**"Oh come on, Chuck! I'm fine with this..."**_ I started complaining but he was already looking for something in his wardrobe. _**"Chuck... I'm shorter than you; your clothes won't work on me."**_

_**"Just shut up, I think I have kept in my closet clothes for short and tiny people like you; I think once I wore a very nice costume when I acted as a dwarf." **_

_**"You never acted as a dwarf..."**_ I said very confused and then I got it. _**"Oh, I see what you did there... You idiot!"**_ I laughed when I realized he was just making fun of me.

_**"Try this on."**_ Chuck said giving me a white shirt and black dress pants.

_**"I'm not gonna wear that. It's too formal."**_ I said looking displeased at those clothes.

_**"Too formal my ass. It's perfect. Not too elegant and not too ordinary; a perfect combination of stylishly and informality. Try it on now."**_ He said bossy.

_**"Fine, fine!"**_ I exclaimed annoyed but actually thankful because he was helping me, although I'd never admit it to him.

And I did it, I tried it on and when I looked in the mirror I was surprised. Yeah, I liked how those clothes looked on me and it was crazy, because I remembered that once I said that I was never going to wear clothes like that. And it was very comfortable... I looked like a business young man; a cool one, not a boring one.

_**"Whoa, Darren! You can actually look sexy; I'd have never figured it." **_Chuck made fun of me, looking at me once I was wearing those clothes.

_**"Shut up, asshole!"**_ I said punching his arm and he laughed.

_**"Just do something with your hair, bro."**_ Chuck said looking at my hair indeed.

_**"What? What's up with my hair?"**_ I asked suspiciously, now touching my curls.

_**"I don't know, it looks weird... Like, so bushy and shaggy, man. I think soon you'll look like a sheep."**_ Chuck said laughing really amused and I looked at him annoyed, touching my hair.

_**"That's not true."**_ I said frowning, now looking in the mirror again and trying to comb my hair.

_**"Let me cut your hair."**_ Chuck said mischievously.

_**"No fucking way. I'm fine with my hair."**_ I answered and Chuck grabbed a scissor. _**"Get the fuck out of here!"**_ I yelled terrified, stepping back.

_**"Just a little bit."**_ He said very amused.

_**"No! No, step back! Get out, Charles!"**_ I yelled.

I tried to get away from him, but when I was about to run away, he tackled me and pulled me into the bed. I tried my best to get out of there, but Chuck was stronger than me. After we struggled for a while, Chuck stood up, laughing out loud.

_**"I was just kidding, bro!"**_ Chuck laughed and I looked at him upset. _**"Your hair is like... so you. I'd never cut it."**_

_**"I'll kill you, Charles. I didn't like that joke, it wasn't funny at all."**_ I said still upset.

_**"Oh please! Since when are you so grumpy? Having dates maybe isn't a good idea for you."**_ He said still laughing amused.

In the rest of the afternoon I just got ready for this kind of date I had with Freckles. I finally decided to wear the clothes that Chuck lent me and he also gave me a perfume. Perfume, that was ridiculous; but Chuck forced me, as everything. I didn't know why I was feeling very nervous after Chuck explained me how a real date was. I couldn't help it; I was all the time thinking how it was going to be, wondering if everything was going to work or not. But what was making me feel more nervous is that I was going to introduce Freckles as my girlfriend to my parents... and not only to them, also to her mother. That was scary. I didn't know how Freckles' mother was, not more than what she told me once. But Freckles never mentioned how her mother was when it was about these kinds of things. And her mother didn't know me, she didn't know how I was... Then... How would she accept me as her daughter's boyfriend? Man, what if she didn't like me? What if she didn't want us to be together just as Freckles' father? But hey, sooner or later I was going to have to tell everybody that she was my girlfriend; I really wanted everybody to know it, because I was happy to be with her. Then I started to think about Freckles. How would she be feeling? How would she look like now? How was she going to take this I wanted to do? Maybe I should talk to her about this first... Then I heard how someone knocked the door downstairs. Oh fuck, that was Freckles' mother talking to my parents. Now I was literally freaking out. I waited for a while until I was sure that Freckles' mother and my parents were in the backyard to go running to Freckles' bedroom to talk to her.

_**"Hey baby, it's me. Could you please open the door?" **_I asked while knocking the door.

_**"Sorry, Darren. You won't see her now."**_ I heard a woman's voice answering.

_**"Jen is that you?"**_ I asked intrigued.

_**"Yes, that's me. Go away, Darren!" **_Jen answered. What the hell was she doing here? Well, maybe my mom invited her too.

_**"Jen, open the door! Hey, I need to talk to Freckles."**_ I said trying to open the door, but it was locked.

_**"Stop bugging, Criss!"**_ I heard another voice.

_**"Mandy? Hey, what's going on there?"**_ I asked even more intrigued and then I heard laughs.

_**"Nothing of your business. Come on, Criss, go away, and do not screw this."**_ Mandy answered laughing.

_**"Hey, seriously. I really need to talk to Freckles, this is important."**_ I said very serious.

_**"What do you want, Criss?"**_ Mandy asked opening the door, but not letting me to get in and I couldn't see inside. She was already dressed for the occasion.

_**"I... Your mother is here already."**_ I answered still trying to look inside.

_**"Is she? Oh my God! Jen, can you do it alone now? I really need to go."**_ Mandy asked looking inside and I tried to do the same but I failed.

_**"Yes, everything is cool. Just go, I'll be there in a few minutes."**_ Jen yelled from inside.

_**"Good."**_ Mandy said smiling cheerfully and then she got out, closing the door. I looked at her and she looked at me amused. _**"You have to wait for good things, Criss. Be patient." **_

_**"I really need to talk to her."**_ I said very serious.

_**"Please Criss, just chill out. Nothing could be so serious that cannot wait."**_ Mandy said frowning and still amused.

_**"Well, this actually cannot wait. Really."**_ I said insistent.

_**"Why not? What's so important?"**_ She asked now intrigued.

_**"Something private... But really important. Please, Mandy, let me in."**_ I begged this time.

_**"I think you can wait."**_ She insisted, very stubborn; and then she turned around to leave with a very mischievous smile. Of course I ran to the door again to try to open it, but it was locked again. Dammit.

_**"Jenny? Please, open the door."**_ I begged with my most innocent voice.

_**"You're annoying Darren, you have to wait!"**_ Jen answered from the bedroom.

_**"This is very important, something that can change absolutely everything and... And if you don't open the door, I'm gonna break down the door." **_I exclaimed menacingly.

_**"You should win the prize for the most exaggerated and fastidious person in the whole world." **_Jen answered, opening the door. _**"I'll leave you alone, guys..."**_ She answered with a very amused smile and then she turned around to leave.

_**"Thank you, Jenny!"**_ I answered looking at Jen going away and then I looked to where the door was.

Freckles was now standing in front of the door, looking at me with a widely smile. I looked at her from head to toe, very stunned and agape. I couldn't even utter a word; I was just looking at her very mesmerized. Oh fuck, I didn't have a fucking idea what she did but she looked so beautiful, sexy and hot; she was completely and undoubtedly gorgeous. She never looked prettier and happier than this. Whoa, I couldn't do anything at all but mumbling like a fool; because I was a fool looking at her. I honestly couldn't take my eyes off her.

_**"So, what do you...?"**_ She started asking and I interrupted her, still mesmerized.

_**"You are so fucking gorgeous."**_ I exclaimed stunned with my lips parted. Man, she was so pretty; so pretty and I looked so ugly next to her; as if nobody could be with such a beautiful girl, but I was and that was crazy._** "I feel so intimidated right now." **_

_**"What?"**_ She asked frowning, amused but a bit confused.

_**"Yeah... You look like so wow, so graceful and handsome and... Well, how the fuck do you want to be with someone like me?"**_ I rambled, still stammering and mesmerized by her beauty.

_**"What?"**_ She asked again, this time really confused. _**"This wasn't exactly what I thought I was going to hear." **_

_**"I'm so sorry, I just can't talk! I feel so awkward next to you because you're so damn outstanding and perfect and I just... I feel like a fool, I can't talk because I can't stop seeing how beautiful you are and how lucky I am to have you. Goddamn, sometimes I think you're from a fairy tale or something, man. Where are you from really? This, all of this, it's just... Man, things like this only happen in Disney movies. Like, what are we? The Beauty and the Beast?"**_ I spoke really fast and senseless. I was just feeling nervous and so stupid. Freckles was now looking at me with eyes wide open, frowning and as if I were crazy.

_**"Are you okay, Darren?"**_ She asked gingerly.

_**"No, I'm not. I mean, yeah, I'm fine. I'm just so hooked."**_ I answered still looking at her completely idiotically.

_**"Well... I'm still not sure what you think of how I look..."**_ She said frowning but a bit amused, walking to me and now holding my hands.

Man, I never felt so nervous like this, my hands were literally sweating. Sweating! This was so unusual and weird and crazy. Her beauty, in all her aspects, was making me feel as if I wasn't enough for her because she was dreamy. She was like the girl I always dreamed of to have as a girlfriend and this wasn't a dream. Whoa, I was the luckiest guy. Then she smiled fondly, placed a hand on my shoulder and the other hand on my hair.

_**"But I do think you look sexy."**_ She said flirting.

Man, she was flirting with me and I should be the one flirting her, seducing her, and complimenting her. When she ran a finger through my hair, I went crazy and I couldn't help it but placing my hands on her waist and pulling her closer, very softly. I nuzzled my nose on her neck and I could sense her smell. Her smell was just so addictive and pleasant. I slowly kissed her jaw and then I looked deeply into her eyes. Whoa! So bright, so intense. She was going to kill me.

_**"All this time, all I tried to say is that you look flawless and you're... You're so fucking perfect to me."**_ I said smiling sweetly and resting my forehead against her. I noticed how this brightened her face and how she smiled widely. _**"Baby, you have no idea..."**_

_**"I love you, Dare."**_ She interrupted me with a warm smile and shiny eyes. She said it first and my heart skipped a beat. Man, I was feeling so good.

_**"I love you too." **_I said caressing her cheek very softly and smiling lovingly. _**"I swear I'm dying to kiss you right now, but I don't want to screw your make up, you know, I guess..."**_ I started saying but she interrupted me with a slight kiss. After she kissed me, I couldn't help it but licking my lips. Oh, she tasted so good. Then I looked intensely into her eyes. _**"I'd like to introduce you to my parents." **_I said surefire and she giggled softly while frowning.

_**"I thought they knew me already."**_ She said still giggling and I realized how stupid what I said sounded. I should have finished it.

_**"Yeah, but I'd like to introduce you to my parents as my girlfriend."**_ I answered without taking my eyes off her.

_**"Okay... Maybe sometime..."**_ She answered with an amused smile. She seemed to be really happy.

_**"No, not sometime. Tonight, right now; in front of my family, in front of your family and in front of Jen. Just... I want them all to know that you're my girlfriend."**_ I said nervously but very sure of what I was saying. We stared into each other's eyes for a long time; I knew I took her by surprise, so it was understandable that she was puzzled. _**"I know that I promised to wait until you're ready; I know that you still don't feel comfortable when I call you my girlfriend because I do understand this is something new and certainly crazy for you, so you want to take it slow. And I really don't want to push you and to make you feel uncomfortable... But... I... I really want you."**_ I said nervously and looking deeply into her eyes. _**"I'm really sure that you're the only one with who I want to be because you are... You're like the world to me. Baby, I really..."**_ I started babbling like a fool again and she placed a finger in my mouth to shut me up.

_**"The real reason of why I told you that I didn't want to be called your girlfriend yet is because I was scared. I wasn't sure if you and I was what you really wanted, what I really wanted. I'm not scared anymore."**_ She answered with a sweet smile and I looked at her very excited as my heart started beating faster.

_**"Does that mean that...?"**_

_**"It means that I think that tonight is perfect. Everybody is there, waiting for us..."**_ She said smiling widely and shrugging. I felt so happy when she said it that my face lit up and I kissed her automatically.

_**"Are you really sure that you're ready?"**_ I asked in front of her lips, without being able to stop smiling like a fool.

_**"I'm sure, I'm ready." **_She answered smiling in front of my lips, chuckling softly. _**"Darren?"**_ Then she asked looking deeply into my eyes.

_**"Yeah?"**_ I asked curiously.

_**"Will you hold my hand while we tell them this?"**_ She asked innocently and I thought it was so cute that I couldn't help smiling fondly at her.

_**"All the time, always."**_ I answered pecking her lips and caressing her cheeks. _**"Let's go. As you said, they're waiting for us." **_

I smiled brightly at her and she smiled back at me; we both were happy. I led her to the dining room, holding hands. When we arrived there, everybody was already sitting on the table; when we arrived there, all of them looked at us. When we arrived there, I took a deep breathe.

_**"Mom. Dad. Ms. Natalie."**_ I said with a bright smile looking at them and then I looked at the beautiful girl I had next to me.

I smiled at her very fondly and she smiled back at me. I squeezed her hand before looking at them again. My mom, my dad and Freckles' mom were looking at us confused and bewildered. Jen, Chuck and Mandy were looking at us stunned and agape. Freckles and I only smiled widely.

_**"This is my girlfriend."**_ I finally said, feeling happier than ever.


	26. Uncovering W

A/N: Hello amazing people! How are you all? I'm very excited! Yay! And you surely know why! Yes, you just have to read the title of this new chapter! Finally we're going to find out who W is! I'm sure that you all have been waiting for this moment to come since a long time ago, and it finally came! It's a very important thing for this story, isn't it? I'm so excited for that, I really want to know what you'll think! You know? I really enjoyed writing this chapter and I hope you can enjoy reading it! This chapter is a mix of several things and for sure you'll read parts of action. Unfortunately, I can't answer each one of your reviews because I'm in a hurry and I have to attend a party; that's why I updated earlier. But I promise that in the next chapter I'll answer each one of you as usual! Sorry, sorry, sorry! Okay, back to the chapter... I don't wanna screw it and I don't want to spoil you anything; but I just want to say that the end of this chapter is really shocking and it's the most shocking end of all the chapters already written. If you thought that the others were terrible cliffhangers, then you'll realize that those were nothing compared to this one; at least for me. I must say that I enjoyed very much writing that ending; I was really cruel, I must admit. Yeah, just that. I think you'll be very shocked, but I don't know... I'd really like to know your opinion after you finish reading this new chapter! Ahhh, I'm excited! Okay, okay, I'm done. I'll let you read this new important chapter! Enjoy guys; enjoy as long as you can! haha. Have an awesome week and... Until next Saturday!

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**Teenage Dream – Part 26 – Uncovering W.**

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You were very nervous when you entered in the dining room and everybody looked at you; but when Darren squeezed your hand and he said 'This is my girlfriend', you put your nervousness aside and you started feeling excited instead. It felt good to be called like that in public. But when you looked at them again, you felt nervous again. Everybody seemed to be puzzled and they said nothing. Chuck, Jen and Mandy were surprised because you said in public; they looked at Darren's parents and your mom nervously, wanting to see which their reaction was. Then you looked at Darren's parents: they seemed to be confused and very stunned for the notice, but they smiled. Then you looked at your mother: she was looking at you and then at Darren very fixedly, she seemed to be worried and confused, but after a while she smiled slightly, looking down; she couldn't opine about this, because she had no idea how Darren was or how you were feeling. You looked at the entire table again. Your father wasn't there, he didn't come. You looked down feeling disappointed; you still had hopes that your father will come sometime to apologize, but that day wasn't coming and maybe it wasn't going to come. But then you felt how Darren kissed your cheek and you looked up to see him; that made you feel better, his bright smile and happy eyes made you feel better. Darren's dad was the first to talk.

_**"Welcome to the family."**_ Bill Criss said smiling cheerfully and you smiled shyly but happily. Chuck looked at him amazed and bewildered but you couldn't get why.

_**"That's a good sign."**_ Darren whispered cheerfully in your ear. _**"It took a long time to my dad to accept Chuck's ex and he never accepted her as part of the family."**_ He whispered and you looked at him curiously. _**"I told you that my dad likes you."**_ He whispered shrugging and you chuckled softly before looking at Darren's dad.

_**"Thank you, Mr. Criss."**_ You said smiling politely.

_**"Oh please, call me Bill. We're family now and it's ridiculous if you keep calling me Mr. Criss."**_ Darren's dad laughed and Chuck looked at him even more amazed.

_**"Well, Darren, when you told me that you had a girlfriend and you were going to invite her tonight, I never thought it could be this pretty girl that is next to you now."**_ Cerina Criss started saying, smiling sweetly. _**"With your father always suspected that your friendship was peculiar; it shouldn't surprise me that you fell in love with each other. But it did surprise me and I'm glad that you decided to share your love with this girl, because she's a very nice girl."**_ Cerina kept saying and you started to feel thrilled while Darren was looking at his mother with a wide smile. _**"As my husband said, welcome to the family, sweetheart."**_ Cerina said looking at you in a very sweet way and you smiled shyly. _**"And do not call me Mrs. Criss, call me Cerina." **_She said laughing and you laughed softly along with her.

_**"You know my opinion already, Freckles. I heart you girl, and I admire you because I can't get how you do to stand my little bro."**_ Chuck said laughing and you noticed how Darren rolled his eyes, shaking his head as if he was resigned at his brother's comments.

_**"You also know my opinion guys. Finally!"**_ Jen exclaimed exaggeratedly and you and Darren laughed.

_**"Yeah, thanks Darren for making my sister as happy as she is; and I'm happy for you sis, you found a good guy with who you can experience new things. And you both are amazing together, everything told."**_ Mandy said sweetly. She was completely different now since you and she talked and it was good.

_**"Thanks, Mandy. Your sister makes me happy and I hope I'm doing the same as you said."**_ Darren said smiling kindly at her and she only nodded. The only one who wasn't saying anything at all was your mother. After a while she finally spoke.

_**"Darren, right?"**_ She asked and you looked at her very intently and serious.

_**"Yes, ma'am."**_ Darren answered politely.

_**"Call me Natalie."**_ She said also politely and smiling slightly and Darren nodded. Damn, what would your mother say? _**"Unfortunately, we never had the chance to meet. I wish I could have met you before this unexpected announcement, but different circumstances wouldn't let me."**_ Your mother said and both you and Darren looked down. You knew he was nervous, so you caressed his hand with your thumb slightly. _**"I honestly don't know you so I don't know what kind of person you are or how your relation with my daughter is. But you're Cerina' son, so I know you can't be a bad person as I've been told. I know Cerina and I know what kind of person she is, so I bet her children are just as good-hearted as she is."**_ Your mother said with a polite smile, placing a hand above Cerina' hand while Darren's mother smiled back. You and Darren looked at them frowning. So, she indeed knew Darren's mother. How come?

_**"I wish I could have met you before, Ms. Natalie." **_Darren said very politely, he was still nervous. _**"And I'm sorry that you've met me in a very inopportune moment and now I'm saying that I'm your daughter's boyfriend before we had the chance to talk sometime. It feels wrong, but..."**_ He said with trembling voice because of his nervousness.

_**"I understand, Darren. I've also been through this situation in my life. There are lots of different ways you can show love to someone else, none of them are wrong or right, so you shouldn't feel like that. Yes, I do think is weird the fact that my daughter is in a relationship with a boy I don't know; but we have time to meet each other and my daughter seems to be happy with you; so I can't complain."**_ You mother said smiling at Darren and you were really amazed and perplexed. You couldn't believe that your mother could accept someone so easily unlike your father. Then your mother looked at you and she smiled slightly but with sad eyes. That felt weird.

_**"Thank you, Natalie. I promise to take care of your daughter; I'd never do something to hurt her."**_ Darren said politely smiling and your mother smiled back at him.

Then Darren and you sat next to each other, right in front of your mother and Darren's mom. During the dinner, your mother and Darren's mother told the story of how they met.

_**"We were friends at college."**_ Your mother said, smiling widely and looking at Cerina. Everybody looked at them very surprised. You never expected this.

_**"Best friends."**_ Cerina corrected with a smile, looking at your mother._** "We were all the time together and I can't understand why if we weren't studying the same."**_

_**"I think we met in one of those parties of college. Yes, you were drinking something alone and I remember you were looking at a boy in the distance."**_ Your mother laughed.

_**"Bill. At that time he didn't know who I was, but I did know who he was; I was all the time looking at him and too shy to go and talk to him because he was always with friends."**_ Cerine said laughing and Bill and your mother laughed along. You chuckled when you thought that that situation wasn't so different of yours with Darren.

_**"And I was alone; I have no idea why I was at that party; so I just went to talk to you. Since then we started talking all the time about everything. I remember we planned the way you could talk to Bill."**_ Your mother said giggling.

_**"And it worked. I became his girlfriend."**_ Cerina said smiling widely. _**"And I owe all to you, Natalie. Then I wanted to find a man for you. You were a really beautiful woman, all the boys were in love with you, so I couldn't get why you weren't dating someone; but then you explained me that you didn't want to be with someone, your excuse was that you were so busy studying; you needed to graduate as fast as you could."**_ She said smiling sadly now and you looked at them confused.

_**"Yes, for economic reasons."**_ Your mother added smiling faintly and looking down. _**"We shared a lot of things. You made my stage in college a pleasant one; I don't know what I'd have done without you and all of your advices and support."**_ Your mother said looking at Cerina with a thrilled look.

_**"And why have you grown apart if you were best friends?" **_Mandy asked very curiously. Everybody wanted to know it, but no one dared to ask before. It was a very uncomfortable question, because both Cerina and your mother looked down distressed.

_**"I was forced to leave college. It was a tough time, both economically and familiar, so I couldn't afford the college. We tried to keep in touch, but it was hard."**_ Your mother answered still looking down and distressed. Cerina looked at her and placed a hand on her shoulder, and then they looked at each other smiling faintly. _**"When I came back at college I tried to find you, but it didn't work. I thought that you moved to the Philippines again because I couldn't find anything about you. I never suspected that the reason of why I never found you it was because your last name was now Criss." **_

_**"I tried to find you too and I never could."**_ Cerina said.

_**"Yes, I remember she never gave up. You were really good friends and I knew it when I looked at my wife trying desperately every day to find you."**_ Bill added looking at them. _**"It was my fault that the last five years she didn't try to find you. I told her that maybe you moved to London; that was your dream, wasn't it?"**_

_**"Yes, it was. Oh, those times when I was used to dream a lot. So silly."**_ Your mother said laughing softly but you noticed she was kind of sad. _**"It wasn't your fault, Bill. Eighteen years looking for me? Yes, it was too much. Well, now you know the reason why you never found me. I got married too."**_ Your mother answered raising an eyebrow and apparently disgusted. _**"Who would say that our children were going to bring us together again?"**_ Your mother said with cracked voice and teary eyes looking at Cerina who had the same teary eyes.

Wow, that was so thrilling. There were a lot of things you still didn't know about your mother and you felt bad. You didn't know that she was forced to leave college, which would have been the real reasons? You didn't know that she had a best friend because she wasn't so sociable. You didn't know that she had dreams such as going to London; you didn't know she was a dreamy person; that all the boys in college were in love with her. You didn't even know that your mother was able to cry, because she was a strong and cold person. What if your father changed her? What if she was a nice and lovely person before? What could have changed her?

_**"I believe that when two people met and their connection is special, then they would never grow apart, even if the other isn't here anymore; the other would be in your mind and heart. I believe that destiny, in the most unusual ways; will bring those people together again; because they're meant to stick together."**_ Cerina said with a very warm smile looking at your mother as your mother let out a tear. You looked at Mandy and she was also looking at you; she was thinking the same than you: that was weird. _**"Our children maybe brought us together because I do think they have the same special connection; I do believe that the nature is wise and not for nothing they met each other. You should see them, Natalie; their bond is so special, they remind me a lot of us. All the time together as if they were one, all the time sharing things, talking, hugging, laughing, crying, joking, getting into mischief."**_ Cerina laughed and so did your mother. You and Darren also laughed. It was weird that Cerina was mentioning all of this. Your mother was like you? Your mother, a very serious person, was used to get into mischief? _**"And they do that odd thing we were used to do, Natalie. Every night they go outside to lie on the grass and watch the stars while talking. The first time I saw them doing so, I thought about you. And when I first saw your daughter, she reminded me to you. She has the same eyes than you and she has got your same virtue. She can do exactly the same than you, she doesn't utter a word but you can understand what she's feeling or thinking because she talks with her eyes. Since then I've been thinking of you." **_Cerina said very thrilled and also shedding tears of joy like your mother. Darren looked at you amazed and raising his eyebrows. Maybe your mother and you weren't so different.

The rest of the evening you talked a lot about lots of things. You got to know more about your mother and her unknown past with Cerina Criss. That was crazy, the way they met, the way they were best friends, the way they met again; everything was crazy. But the night was being better than you expected. You thought it was going to be an uncomfortable night; but everything was very pleasurable and natural, as if everyone already knew the other one since years. This was really special and you never thought you could fit so perfectly somewhere like this. You thought that maybe this was the place and the people with who you belonged. At one point in the night, Darren looked at you with bright eyes and a sweet smile for a while and he placed his hand above yours, under the table; as if it was a secret thing to do. You turned the hand so you could intertwine your fingers with his and he smiled even brighter. He was thinking the same than you: This was definitely the perfect night, everything was natural and everybody seemed to be happy; but most importantly, everyone accepted you as a couple and that was the best thing that happened after the tough times you had to go through.

_**"I love you." **_Darren muttered with his lips, without making any sound.

_**"Love you too."**_ You muttered with your lips, smiling fondly at him as he smiled back, squeezing your hand under the table.

It was really late but everybody was talking very entertained. You looked around and you thought how happy you were being right in that moment. Wow, you had a lot of good things around you, how come you never noticed it? Everything was beautiful, life was beautiful despite all the bad things; those bad things weren't important in that moment because you were feeling good. Months ago, you never thought you could actually feel truly happy. Life is weird, you thought happily in your mind. You were so distracted thinking and seeing everything you had, that you haven't noticed that now everybody was looking at you.

_**"Teens. It seems they live in another planet. I had my very own planet, I remember."**_ Bill joked and you laughed.

_**"Sorry, I was distracted. What happened?"**_ You asked smiling.

_**"I was saying that Amanda and I have to leave because it's late, but I'd like to talk to you first."**_ Your mother said kindly. You looked intently at her, she had something different in her eyes; she had sad and tired eyes, but at the same time she seemed to be happy, and you couldn't remember the last time your mother was really happy.

_**"Yes, of course."**_ You said nodding. You looked at Darren before standing up and he smiled at you, squeezing your hand.

You walked with your mother and Mandy to the entrance and opened the door. You walked outside with them and your mother stopped and turned around to look at you with a smile. You looked at her frowning; it was still weird for you to see her so smiley.

_**"This boy, Darren... He seems to be a nice boy."**_ You mother said and you smiled, nodding.

_**"Yes mom, I told you he's the nicest boy and he's very friendly and funny. You should stop listening what dad says, he doesn't know him."**_ Mandy said frowning, apparently a bit upset. When Mandy mentioned your dad, your heart skipped a beat; you've forgotten about him and all he has done.

_**"Have you been talking to dad about this?"**_ You asked curiously.

_**"Yes, she has been talking. She arrived yesterday night and she found out that her daughter wasn't in home; so she started asking and our father told her a bunch of lies."**_ Mandy said now really upset.

_**"Such as?"**_ You asked worried.

_**"That you were a rebel girl and escaped from the house to go after a guy. That Darren was a scoundrel guy and he was taking you astray. He said that none was his fault and you were the one to blame because he couldn't even recognize you as his daughter. She tried to convince mom that you were sick and that we should banish you from our family because you were a shame for us. He said that now you were a lost case and Darren was a criminal."**_ Mandy said angrily and you felt how your heart broke. Goodbye to all of those hopes you had of your father apologizing to you to be fine again. You looked down feeling really despondent and trying to hold back your tears.

_**"That's not true. Darren isn't a bad guy, he was the only one who was there for me when I had no one, he was the one who gave me a place to stay when I was homeless because dad kicked me out because I told him I didn't want him to make with my life what he wanted. Darren was the one who supported me, who gave me the affection I needed that time; he was the one who comforted me and who gave me a hand when I needed the most. I didn't escape from home, he kicked me out."**_ You said with teary voice, still looking down and Mandy walked next to you to wrap an arm around you and rub your back to reassure you.

_**"I know, honey."**_ Your mother answered also with teary voice. You and Mandy looked up at her, she had also teary eyes. _**"Your father is sick and I thought I could control the situation, but I failed several times. I tried to play fool and pretend that everything was alright, because I still had hopes that he could get better and be the man he used to be. But it never happened. And the worst thing is that I couldn't notice that my children were suffering, that you weren't doing fine and every time I think about it, it breaks me."**_ Your mother said now breaking into tears. She seemed to be very vulnerable, different of how she was. _**"I'm very sorry to have disappointed you as a mother. I'm sorry for not having been there when you needed a mother's comfort. I'm sorry to have let you down, I'm sorry because in my concern to try to find a solution for your father I forgot about the most important thing I have: you, my children. I've failed as a wife, but what it hurts me the most is that I've failed as a mother. I'm so sorry; I never meant to hurt you."**_ Your mom said crying disconsolately and it was heartbreaking. Both, Mandy and you walked to her to hug her.

_**"Mom, you haven't failed as a mother." **_Mandy whispered.

_**"That's right. We understand that you had to do a lot of things by yourself and you were under a lot of pressure. You had to work hard to give us a place to live and something to eat, so we understand you couldn't be here with us all the time; you had to deal with dad's disorder by yourself, we know you tried to solve it to protect us; you had to deal with two teen daughters, we understand it's not an easy thing to do. Besides all of that, you had to put aside all your dreams, all your friendships and all the things you liked to do only because of us; so don't say you've failed as a mother. You tried your best and we know it; yes, maybe we'd have liked to have a mom with who we could spend more time and enjoy certain things in life, but you're our mother and we wouldn't love you any different."**_ You whispered still hugging her and resting your head on her chest as a little girl. _**"Sometimes it makes me feel bad that we haven't shown you affection and I know it may be destroyed you. But if we never shown you affection, is because dad was all the time telling us that showing affection was something for weak people and we were too young to understand that it wasn't like that. Mom, we love you, we really do."**_

_**"That is true. We love you, mom." **_Mandy assured also still hugging her.

_**"You're the most important thing I have, you're the people I love the most."**_ Your mom said still sobbing, but caressing your hair and rubbing Mandy's back. _**"That's why I decided to divorce your father." **_She said firmly and Mandy and you looked at her horrified.

_**"What?"**_ Mandy asked with trembling voice, stepping back.

_**"Yes."**_ Your mother said now feeling nervous. _**"He's gonna still be your father and you'll be able to see him when you want, but your father and you cannot be together any longer. I'd never accept the fact he kicked one of his daughters out without even talking to me first. He's out of his mind and I can't keep dealing with it; I had to stand a lot of things. He's a violent person and I don't want him to live in the same house than us, because everything could end in a bad way. It's time for me to admit how things really are; and this is the reality, I cannot be with your father any longer."**_

_**"Is this my fault?"**_ You asked looking down, feeling very guilty.

_**"No honey. You have done nothing to cause us to divorce. It's not your fault. This is between your father and me."**_ Your mother said placing her hands on your cheeks and caressing them with her thumbs. _**"This is a decision that I should've made a long time ago. A married couple not always work; I tried to work things out but unfortunately it hasn't worked for us. Parents can divorce each other, but they don't ever divorce their kids. We will be your mom and dad forever. We'll always be there for you just as before. You'll always be taken care of. You'll always have a home. Each of us will be with you, just usually not at the same time. We will still be a family, but we will be a different kind of family."**_

_**"What are you saying, mother? We won't be a family! What kind of family is that? You should try harder! This is so unfair!"**_ Mandy exclaimed angrily and you looked at her bewildered. You knew she was feeling pain just as you, but you didn't want to make feel your mom even worse, because you were still thinking this was your fault.

_**"We couldn't find a way to work out our problems or to make things any better. We've made mistakes and we're sorry that we're causing you pain. I want you to say what you feel and think. You may feel worried, angry and hurt. I understand because adults often have these same feelings too."**_ Your mother answered looking distressed at Mandy. _**"I know it seems unfair that these problems cause you pain and unhappiness. I wish things were different, too, but they're not, and we all have to work at accepting the changes in our family."**_

_**"I don't want to accept it."**_ Mandy said very furious.

_**"I'm sorry this is my entire fault!" **_You said in tears, feeling really bad.

_**"Separation is a grown-up problem and you are not to blame. It is our problem."**_ Your mother said kind of desperate. This was being something hard for her and you felt bad that she was the only one who was telling this, because your father never was there to solve problems. _**"Your father will live in his mother's house and I'll live in the same house than now. You can choose with who you want to live, I won't feel rejected, I'll understand it if you want to live with your father. I'll quite my actual job to get a new one, so I can have more time to be at home with you; we'll have to live without many comforts but I'll make it sure that you can have a safe and full of love place to live. I'll try my best to give all you need and to make you feel as loved as you are." **_My mother said trying to be quiet, but she was still kind of nervous. You wouldn't stop feeling guilty, no matter what she was saying; and Mandy wouldn't stop feeling upset.

_**"Honey, I've talked to Cerina and she would let you live with them until your father and I finally get divorced, so then you can come back at home, safe. And Mandy..." **_Your mother said now looking at Mandy distressed. _**"I'm not asking you to understand this decision now, because I know it's hard. But this separation doesn't mean that we don't love you."**_

_**"Whatever, mother."**_ Mandy said looking away and crossing her arms and you noticed how your mother tried hard to hold back her tears.

_**"Mom, we're just confused right now. We never expected to hear such a thing, we weren't expecting a divorce. Give her time."**_ You answered because it was breaking your heart to see your mother so anguished. Mandy looked at you on the sly, apparently she seemed to be thankful.

_**"Please, forgive me."**_ Your mother said with teary voice looking at the two of you. Mandy finally looked at her and she felt bad, so she hugged your mom again.

_**"It's okay; we actually know that thing with dad didn't work out. I'm just... This is... This took me by surprise."**_ Mandy said shedding silent tears.

And like that, your mom and your sister left, leaving you there in the front porch. You were very stunned by the notice, everything happened so fast; a lot of different things happened really fast. You recently had to experience how Darren was kidnapped and you couldn't do anything to stop it, so you were feeling guilty; you recently had been ambushed by W and you had to show to the principal all the harassing text messages not to be expelled, so you were feeling guilty for telling something you shouldn't have told; your mom and Darren's mom happened to be best friends at college and your mom had a lot of dreams and problems you never knew, so you felt guilty for never had asked her how she was in the past as if you weren't interested on her; and now your mom was getting divorced to your father, and you felt extremely guilty because this was because your father kicked you out for your rough attitude with him. Geez, you've made a lot of mistakes and now people were suffering the consequences of something that was your entire fault. You stayed there for a while to calm down, and you shed all the tears you had. Yes, you were feeling bad. But you needed to move on, so you just wiped your tears away and tried to convince yourself: Everything will be all right. You decided to go to your bedroom, so you wouldn't have to pretend that you were fine; but when you opened the door, the Criss family and Jen were right there in the living room, talking and laughing. You stood there and you felt as if you couldn't move; you didn't make any kind of sound, so you'd pass by unnoticed. But Darren looked away and saw you. He was still laughing at some joke of Chuck; but when he saw you, he frowned slightly, confused, and his face of joy turned into a concerned face. Without saying anything at all, he stood up and ran to you to hug you tightly. You hugged him back, finding comfort in his arms. You buried your face on his chest but you didn't cry; there were no more tears to shed. Darren didn't say anything, as if he understood that you didn't want to talk in that moment.

_**"Let's go outside."**_ Was the only thing that Darren whispered in your ear.

So then you were sitting on the grass. Darren sat behind you, placing his legs on your sides and wrapping his arms around you, while you rested your head on his shoulder. You knew he was looking at you, but you didn't want to look at him, you still didn't want to talk and he understood you, even if you haven't said a single word. After a while you finally looked into his eyes, he wasn't looking at you anymore. You took your time to look those stunning hazel eyes and long eyelashes. And you started to think... What if Darren someday will grow apart as your mother and your father did? What if someday you stop loving him? What if someday Darren doesn't love you anymore? What if someday you find out that you aren't meant to be together, that your relationship doesn't work after a long time you were together? What if all of this love vanish someday just as the love your mother and father had? When you thought about it, tears started to stream down your face. A tear dropped on Darren's hand so he immediately looked at you. He said nothing; he placed a hand on your cheek and caressed it lovingly with his thumb, right after wiping your tears away. And you told him everything that happened. He only looked at you in silence, always comforting you with his sweet caresses. He made you feel better without saying anything at all; maybe words weren't necessary, sometimes these sweet gestures were more effective than any kind of nice words.

_**"Everything will be fine because you have a mother who loves you with all her heart; you have a sister who loves you and is trying to get you back; you have friends who will do even the impossible to see you smiling; you have my family who loves you as if you were one more of us; and you have me. You have me and I'll never leave you alone and I'll take care of you always. You have me to lean on; remember that, baby."**_ Darren said kissing your lips sweetly. _**"When you stop to think about it, you realize that you do have a family. Family isn't always a matter of blood and DNA. Family is what you feel in your heart about someone. I wish you could consider me as part of your family." **_

_**"You're my family, Dare. You're more like my home."**_ You whispered fondly and meaningfully. That was weird but true.

* * *

Four weeks kind of flew by and now we were in May. Next month was going to be the prom dance and everybody was like crazy, including me. I was super nervous and I was having a lot of ups and downs. The time to go to college was coming closer and I was excited because I was going to start studying that I wanted, but at the same time I was feeling really down because it meant that I was going to leave Freckles. Man, I didn't want it, how the hell was I supposed to do it? Now that she was living with her mother and I couldn't see her as often as before was like killing me because I missed her like hell; I didn't want to imagine how I was going to feel once that I start college. I tried to keep my mind busy so I wouldn't think about it, but it was hard. It was even harder because I couldn't even talk to her in school. Yes, all of us were doing the plan that Freckles had. Jen was all the time with Dean to get information of W, I found out that Dean was indeed part of the W team as Freckles said; Mandy couldn't get to be with Jim because Jim didn't want to see her, so she was with Freckles all the time, and all the people was treating her like shit. And I was pretending to hate her to be with Karen, therefore to be near Susan. I couldn't get any kind of important information, but yeah, Susan was kind of suspicious, she wasn't a good person and she said a lot of nasty things and I had to pretend I liked her. My friendship with Karen grew and that was the only positive thing about this. But I hated the idea of pretending to ignore Freckles, and more now that she has changed her look and she looked amazing; so more people, boys particularly, were talking to her. I talked to her about this, I told her that I didn't like this; but she would say me that I was overreacting. Overreacting my ass! I couldn't stand seeing guys flirting with her and not being able to stop it; of course she never did something, but still. I missed her and I wanted to be with her; and the plan was good, we got to know that Dean was definitely involved, Susan was suspicious, and no one suspected that this all was a plan and we were pretending; but we weren't getting so much information and I didn't want to go on with this plan because I wanted to be able to walk holding hands with Freckles. Damn, I missed that and my time with her in San Francisco was coming to its end and I wanted to fully exploit my time with her. The other positive thing of this whole situation was that W hasn't harassed us since that time Freckles talked to the principal about this. I wondered which the reason could be. Maybe W was feeling helpless now; maybe W was scared now, or maybe was planning something worse. I didn't know, but for the moment I was just enjoying the absence. Now I was at Math class and I was alone in that class, so I was super bored, not paying attention at class at all and thinking about Freckles. Man, I really needed to see her.

To Freckles: **Hey baby, I miss you like hell. Would you meet me in the men's bathroom in fifteen minutes?**

From Freckles: **I'm not risking anything, Criss.**

To Freckles: **Oh come on, no one will see us; everybody is at class. I want just to see you, and maybe hug you, and touch you, and kiss you... Just a little bit, and then we come back to class.**

From Freckles: **Fine. You've got ten minutes to arrive there.**

I smiled widely when I read her response and of course, I stood up instantly to leave the class. The teacher didn't even notice it; he was too busy writing something in the blackboard. I checked that no one was seeing and when I was sure that the hallways were empty, I ran to the men's bathroom. When I arrived there, Freckles wasn't there. I closed the door and I decided that I was going to open the door only if it was Freckles and lock it when she gets in here. That way, no one was going to see us. I sat on the lavatories to wait for her. I started thinking about her and how our relationship grew tremendously the last four weeks. I never thought I could get along so very well with someone; not only with her but also with her family, except her father of course; and she with my family. It was like, whoa, it was great. Even though I couldn't see her all the time, our relationship was going perfectly amazing. Suddenly I heard a sound coming from one of the bathroom stalls that scared the crap out of me. I thought I was alone, man.

_**"Who is in there?"**_ I asked gingerly, walking slowly right to where the sound came.

Everything happened so fast. When I reached the bathroom stall from where the sound came, someone opened the door and pulled me inside, locking the door. Someone wrapped the arms around me and started kissing me passionately and desperately: Freckles. I laughed in between the kiss when I realized it was her and then I pulled her against the wall to kiss her even more fiercely. Shit, I loved this so much. I rose her, wrapping my arms around her hips to hold her, as she wrapped her legs right above my hips and wrapped her arms around my neck. Yeah, we were in the right position now and I could kiss her even better, deeper and very fiercely. That was a new thing about our relationship; we still had those moments of sweetness and fondness, but now we also had moments of passion and fierceness. More than once I had to stop kissing her abruptly because my body was responding to those arousing moments and I didn't want to turn that amazing moment into an uncomfortable one. And right in that moment my body was reacting to that arousing moment. Fuck, I was so turned on, the way she was like devouring my mouth and touching me. And she was wearing a fucking dress, so the feeling of my pelvis against hers was more perceptible and intense. I placed my hands on her thighs and I squeezed them while I was still pulling her against the wall. And she placed her hands on my hips, underneath my jeans. Fuck, fuck, fuck. It was too late, that touching was a very big turn on. I was getting hard and I needed to stop right in that moment, but I simply couldn't. Instead, I rubbed my hand on her naked thighs, going up to her buttock. And fuck, she let me do it; not only she let me do it; she rubbed her hands underneath my jeans from my hips to my pelvis. Oh no, that was it, I couldn't contain myself any longer. Now I seriously needed to stop.

_**"Wait, wait, wait."**_ I whispered weakly in front of her lips and she looked at me kind of lustfully. _**"I can't... I... I need to stop, you know..."**_

_**"Just a little bit more."**_ She begged lustfully, kissing me fiercely again. Hell, I loved those kisses.

_**"No, no!"**_ I whispered desperately, breaking the kiss. _**"I.. Fuck, I love this way too much, but I can't keep going. Really I can't, I'm way too turned on." **_

_**"Dare please, I miss you. I miss this."**_ She begged in front of my lips and this time it was me the one who kissed her fiercely.

I was turned on and she was begging me to keep going, and I really wanted to keep going, so my desires betrayed me. No, fuck, no. This wasn't going to end in a good way; I knew my body and my jeans were suddenly very tight.

_**"I miss you too, a lot. But, right now... No. It's... it's different in a man, you can't just kiss and touch like this without having a... you know, a sort of reaction in your body."**_ I whispered awkwardly.

She looked at me with a sensual smile and that aroused me even more. She was about to say something but then we heard something that scared us. Someone entered in the bathroom. How come if I locked the door? Shit, surely I didn't do it right. We both recognized the voice and got even more scared. It was Jim, talking on the phone. I looked at Freckles who had now a terrified face. I placed a finger on her mouth to indicate her to be silent. Silently and very slowly I stood up on the toilet, still holding her in my arms with her legs wrapped around me. I indicated her in silence to stand up on the toilet just as me, because I didn't know for how long I was going to be able to support her in my arms. She did it and she wrapped her arms around me in complete silence, burying her head on my chest, feeling scared.

_**"I'm telling you that today is the day. Listen, it's now or never. The end of the year is coming and we've waited a lot already. Yeah, yeah, I know that it was because that bitch showed the principal the text messages. Yeah, I also wasn't expecting it; but we have this new plan now. We're gonna destroy that bitch today, she and all of her pathetic friends. Oh come on, they'll never suspect that you're the one; they're so fucking stupid. Yes, exactly. Yeah, I noticed it too, the bitch got hot suddenly, who would have said it? Maybe I could play with her and her body before destroying her; she'll scream in pleasure when she feels a good cock in her ass."**_ Jim said laughing archly and I got so mad.

I felt how the anger ran through my veins. And I completely screwed it. In my anger, I did a bad movement and one of my feet slipped and touched the toilet's water, making a low but noticeable sound. Crap. Freckles looked at me very terrified and I looked at her apologetically, but it was already too late. Jim noticed it.

_**"Hold on, I heard something. Someone is in here, shit."**_ Jim said upset and I closed my eyes in horror. We were so screwed; he was going to find us. What would we do now? _**"Who's there? Get out of here, piece of shit, I heard you, whoever you are."**_ He said very rudely.

_**"Here you are, Jim. Finally, I've been looking for you."**_ A woman's voice said. I recognized it too: Susan. Freckles looked at me very fixedly and serious.

_**"Hey, hot stuff."**_ Jim greeted her and there was a silence. Were they kissing?

_**"Today is the day, right?"**_ She asked.

_**"Yeah, today we're gonna fuck them up."**_ Jim said laughing archly.

_**"Good, we need to let our team know it. We all need to act now and no one can regret at this point. That's your job, Jim. Tell everybody that we're gonna do it during the performance of the cheerleaders today. Everything needs to be as we've planned, Jim."**_ Susan said nastily. Damn, Freckles was right. It was more than obvious that Susan was W.

_**"Don't worry hot stuff. Today they'll regret to have been born."**_ Jim laughed viciously. _**"Let's go, we have job to do." **_

I heard some steps and then I heard how they closed the door; they finally left. I got off the toilet and so did Freckles. She looked at me very terrified and stunned.

_**"I told you it was Susan."**_ She said with trembling voice.

_**"I'm sorry, you were right all this time."**_ I apologized feeling terrible.

_**"You heard that, they're gonna do it today; not sure what they're gonna do but it isn't something nice for sure."**_ She said very concerned, she was very edgy.

_**"What are we gonna do now?"**_ I asked feeling very helpless and worried.

_**"I don't know!"**_ She exclaimed desperately.

_**"We need to tell Jen and Mandy."**_ I said trying to keep calm, but it was impossible.

_**"Yes, we need." **_

And then both of our phones buzzed at the same time. For the first time after four quiet weeks, W appeared again.

**"Hey suckers, I have news for you. The end of the year is coming, the graduation is close, and you still don't know who I am and this cannot keep being like this because is boring, so I propose something. You know that today we have a cheerleaders' performance; well, we will play a game. During the cheerleaders' performance, you have to find me. If you get to find who I am, then I'll set you free; but if you don't, then I'm gonna destroy you and all the people you love. Ready to play? Ready to find out who the winner is gonna be? You have forty minutes to find out who I am or your entire life will be fucked up. Good luck, suckers. -W-"**

I only exchanged a terrified look with Freckles. Dammit, I was so nervous; I didn't know what to do.

_**"All right."**_ Freckles exclaimed firmly, looking at me. _**"I have a plan."**_ She said self-confident. _**"We're gonna tell Jen and Mandy all of this. Then, when the entire school is in the gym to see that performance, we're gonna go separate ways to find Susan faster. Now we're sure that Susan is W, we only need to find her. If we find her on time, then they won't do anything. We can do this, Darren. We can finish this macabre game." **_She said encouragingly in this tough time. I loved her for that.

_**"Yeah, yeah. We can do this. We're finally going to be fine." **_I assured, trying to feel more relaxed now.

_**"Good. I'll tell Mandy and you tell Jen, right now. We'll meet in the gym and we're gonna go separate ways to find Susan or Jim."**_ Freckles said trying to sound positive.

_**"Yes."**_ I assured and then I looked deeply into her eyes. _**"We're gonna make this."**_ I said nodding; now convincing myself that we had a chance. _**"I love you."**_ I said looking intensely into her eyes after she encouraged me.

_**"Love you too."**_ She said smiling and then we kissed passionately. _**"Okay, I gotta go to find Mandy."**_

_**"Yeah, I gotta go to find Jen."**_ I said nodding.

It wasn't so hard to find Jen, she was with Dean. I took her by the arm and I pulled her away from Dean. I looked at Dean coldly before I turned around to walk with Jen another way. I didn't know where to take her to talk, so I just took her outside. That was when I heard the principal's voice starting to ring over the loudspeakers.

_**"Students, you all have to go to the gym to see the last performance of the cheerleaders while..." **_

I didn't listen anymore; crap, I still needed to tell Jen everything. So I told her everything as fast as I could while I was seeing how all of the students were walking cheerfully to the gym.

_**"Do you mean that right now we have to hurry up to find Susan who happens to be W; we have to do this and everything will be all right? Right now, in the gym... And we're wasting our time."**_ Jen said with trembling voice, very edgy.

_**"Yes, right now, in the gym, we must search Susan."**_ I said placing my hands on Jen's shoulders to reassure her. Usually, it was always she the one trying to calm me, but this time she was really nervous. _**"Jenny, we can do this, we really can. Now we have to go separate ways, but everything will be all right. If someone tries to hurt you, just call me. You don't need to talk, you just call and I'll know it's you and I'll find you, okay?"**_ I said looking deeply into her eyes and she nodded with scared eyes. I hugged her very tightly. _**"Nothing bad will happen to you, I won't let it happen. You know, this could be the end, we can be fine again as before when W didn't exist. Wouldn't it be cool?" **_I said smiling slightly to try to cheer her up. She smiled faintly.

_**"Yes, it'd be. But I'm scared right now."**_ Jen said with trembling voice now looking down.

_**"I'm scared too, like hell. I don't know what's going to happen now; but I do know what I want: this game to end. I don't know if they're gonna win or if they're gonna hurt us; but I do know what could happen if we find W and it's pretty awesome, so I'm doing this, so I'll gamble. I want us to be as tranquil and good as we used to be, imagine us being without W; that's awesome and for that I'm risking."**_ I said still looking deeply into her eyes. _**"If you feel too scared to do this, you can stay out, Jenny; and everything will be all right, I'll understand. You don't have to do this."**_

_**"No, I'll do this. As you said, we need to find Susan."**_ Jen said now more self-confident and I smiled at her. _**"Let's go find that bitch."**_

And we walked to the gym, it was a mess there. I tried to find Freckles and Mandy, but I couldn't see them. There were a lot of people and everybody was talking loudly and very excited. Jen and I were still trying to find Freckles in that crowded place. We wouldn't find them this way, so I looked at Jen.

_**"Jen, you go that way and try to find Freckles, Mandy or Susan. I'll go that other way. Otherwise, we won't find them quickly and we don't have so much time."**_ I said edgy, still trying to see them. Jen nodded in silence and went away.

Well, I was alone now and I tried to move in between all those people. Shit, it was as if W had planned to make this even harder; I never had a problem with crowded places, but this time I was going crazy. A lot of people tried to get on my way, stopping me or pushing me, but I tried to ignore them because I was so busy trying to find Freckles or Susan.

**"Having difficulties to find me, Criss? Are you really that naive to have thought that you could find me so easily? Twenty minutes left. Hurry up! -W-" **

Fuck you, Susan; I thought in my mind very annoyed. I tried to keep walking but it seemed that people were concentrating on my way. A lot of times I stopped walking to stand on tiptoe and see Freckles' face. Where the hell could she be now? I tried to call her, but her phone was turned off. I couldn't find Jim or Susan; I couldn't find Brian or Dean; no one was there. What if they weren't there? What if they were somewhere else? Now I couldn't even find Jen and when I called her, her phone was also turned off. Then suddenly everybody sat and got silent as the principal started talking, I kept walking until a teacher scolded me and forced me to sit. Fuck, I was so annoyed and nervous; I didn't have so much time. The cheerleaders' performance started. I tried to keep moving, this time crawling on all fours so no teacher was going to scold me. Lots of people made fun of me for what I was doing, but I ignored them; lots people slapped my head while I was passing by them, but I ignored them. And this was being hard because I couldn't see a damn shit like this. And then I saw her, I saw Susan. An anger and fear ran through my whole body. I acted by instinct: I stood up and I started running to her, feeling the adrenalin in my veins. Teachers yelled at me, telling me to sit up and behave; people tried to punch me when I passed by them, because I was kicking them because there wasn't so much room to run; I noticed how now the principal was walking to me very upset, I saw how teachers were going to help him to catch me, I noticed that a lot of people were looking at me bewildered; but I ignored it all, I needed to catch Susan. When I was about to reach her, she finally looked at me and smiled very archly and then... Fuck, then everything was dark: A power outage. Oh crap, I couldn't see anything at all and I needed to catch Susan; everybody started yelling and running like crazy. I needed to catch Susan but it was impossible because I couldn't see, everybody was crossing on my way and a lot of people were pushing me in their desperation to get out of this place. I tried to light the way with my phone but I couldn't see Susan anymore. Damn, I was so nervous and edgy; my whole body was trembling. I watched the time, I only had ten minutes to find her and this was a complete chaos. How was I supposed to find her in this chaos? But I kept running in the direction I was running before. Someone ran against me and made me fell into the floor; and I let out my phone to put my hands on the floor and make the fall less painful. Crawling on all fours and still not being able to see, I tried to find my phone patting the floor; some people stepped on my hands and it hurt me, but I ignored it. I needed to find my phone, I needed to light the way, I needed to find Susan, and the time was running. Then I saw my phone and I tried to go directly to there; but when I stood up, someone stumbled into me and hit my head with the elbow accidentally. Actually, it was a very strong hit. I tried to keep walking but I was feeling weak and very dizzy. And someone hit me on my head again and this time I couldn't do anything. I just fainted.

_**"He's waking up." **_A voice said.

_**"No, he's still like dead."**_ I heard another voice.

_**"Look, he's opening his eyes."**_ The first voice said.

My head was aching and I wanted to see who the people who were talking were. I tried to open my eyes but I couldn't focus my sight, everything seemed blurry. Where was I? What was this place? The smell was weird, super weird. I was feeling uncomfortable; I knew I was on the floor. I tried to rub my eyes to see clearly, but I realized that my hands were tied. I got very scared and my heart started beating fast. Where was I actually? Who were those people? I tried to move my legs, but my legs were also tied. Now I was starting to see clearer. I was in a very small room, a room full of brooms, scourers and cleaning products; it explained the smell. I couldn't talk; they covered my mouth with a bandage. I looked around, there they were: Brian and Jim. They were looking at me very intently and then Jim looked beside me. When I looked where Jim was looking, I saw Jen. She also was tied like me and she also had a bandage in her mouth. She was looking at me, she was crying and she seemed to be just as scared as me; she seemed to be desperate. I looked around again; neither Freckles nor Mandy were there. We've been caught by W. We have lost the game, I failed, and we failed. Fortunately, they haven't caught Freckles. But what if they did and they had her in another place, hurting her? I tried to get off the ties, but Jim punched me on the face, making my nose bleed. I heard how Jen tried to scream, but she couldn't. I tried to clean my nose with my shirt and then I looked at Jen, she was crying disconsolately. Then I looked at Jim and Brian in anger.

_**"Call her, Brian."**_ Jim demanded and Brian nodded, walking outside the room. _**"Well, well, Criss. This is interesting. You've lost the game, now you are completely fucked up. How does it feel?"**_ Jim asked archly and I looked at him in a rage. _**"Oh, I forgot, you can't talk."**_ He laughed wickedly. _**"But we're cool people. We want to let you know who W is. Are you ready to find out who this mysterious person is?"**_ Jim asked looking at me in a very macabre way. _**"You'll get surprised. I'm more than sure that you've never suspected of that person; you stupid idiot. It's so easy to trick you."**_

I couldn't believe that we've lost; I couldn't believe that I wasn't the fast enough to catch Susan right when I had the chance. I saw how Brian opened the door and got inside again. Now Susan was going to get in.

_**"She's ready to see you all."**_ Brian said quietly and he looked away. _**"Uncover his mouth, Jim."**_

_**"Good."**_ Jim uncovered my mouth rudely and I looked at him in anger. I didn't utter a word, I was too furious to talk_.__** "Let me introduce you to W."**_ Jim laughed viciously.

Brian opened the door again and I tried to see who it was the person who was going to enter the room. I knew it was Susan, I was completely sure of it, but I needed to see it with my eyes. I heard steps of heels coming closer, it was woman; yeah, of course. The first I saw of the person were the heels of the girl. Then I started looking up, she was wearing black tight leather pants and a black tight shirt. Then I finally looked up to see Susan's face. But it wasn't Susan. I looked at her and I felt how my heart skipped a beat. My body started trembling because of the surprise and the fear. I was so confused, I was so puzzled, I was in shock. This wasn't possible. I looked at her deeply into her eyes, trying to understand what the hell was going on. She walked to me and kneeled in front of me. Now I could look into her eyes even more deeply and intensely; her look wasn't the same, her eyes weren't the same. I frowned in confusion and she smiled viciously, that wasn't her smile. She wasn't the same person.

_**"Hello, Criss. I bet you never imagined that I was W. Astounding, huh?"**_ Freckles said laughing wickedly and ruthlessly as my heart broke into million pieces.


	27. Living on a lie

A/N: Oh my god, guys! I think I've never gotten as many reviews as the ones I got in the last chapter! I'm speechless and so puzzled! I didn't even know that many people were reading this story. Geez! I'm surprised and I want to thank you all for all the reviews! I got different opinions and I loved it! If there's something that you all share is the fact that you all seem to be surprised, although some of you already suspected of Freckles. Yes, I admit that I killed you with the last cliffhanger and I admit that I was satisfied with that ending (and this honestly barely happens). But finally you can read this new chapter and you'll get an explanation! I want to thank you all for everything, for telling me what you think of this story and thank you very much for supporting me all the time. Sometimes I have this feeling that I don't want to write anymore because I feel like I'm not doing it good or like if I keep writing you'll get bored of this story; but then I read the things you write in your reviews and it encourages me to keep writing. So thank you! Okay, before answering each one of you as I promised, I want to recommend you a fanfic, also about Darren Criss: it's called A Whole New World by Zahra Auob. This is the first fanfic she writes and I'd like if you can read it, guys! I know how hard is when you write your first fanfiction, so I guess it'd mean a lot for her if you can read it! Now back to this, I'm so sorry but this author note will be really long since I want to answer each one of you and I got many reviews (I'm not used at it!). I'll try my best to make it short, but I don't know if I'm gonna make it. So here I go!

Victoria Paige: First of all, I read one of your stories and I reviewed it, so maybe you'd like to check it. You devil. Okay, now I'll answer your review. I can't promise you that I'll fix this. I'm sorry. But for sure you'll get an explanation in this chapter and you'll understand (or not) what happened and why Freckles is W.

alicegursk: I think I'll have to sleep on the couch all the month and that makes me sad, I'll have contractures; at least give me a blanket! You know what is funny? That my whole family, especially my sisters, tell me all the time that I'm the devil, and I'm talking in all seriousness. I'm gonna shave my hair to see if the numbers 666 are engraved on my head. Were you surprised to find out that Freckles was W? Now wait to read the explanation! Please, give me the blanket.

MeMi83: I was about to reply you as a guest but fortunately I decided to check the next review so now I know it was you! Don't worry about that, it's okay! I don't want to blow it, so I can't say much. But in this chapter you'll read an explanation. In advance, no; Darren is not dreaming. And yes, Freckles is W. And yes, it's weird because it doesn't fit so much with the previously written; but well… It happened. I can't say much, really.

Kaylacriss332: Yeah, I know; what the actual fuck. I guess you weren't expecting this to happen, but you'll get an explanation now! Hope that helps a little!

Mockingjay-Potterhead-9: I could notice you were speechless as you said! I guess I'd have been speechless too, I don't know! The good thing is that you'll get the explanation in this chapter as you wanted! Let's see what you'll think about that!

TimMyeong: First of all, I read what you wrote on Tumblr! haha Maybe I am the real W. I'm the devil after all; but don't tell anybody because it's a secret! Okay, make out in the bathroom; yes, I always wanted to write a make out in the bathroom! It's a fantasy that I think we all have. Well, a lot of people also suspected of Freckles, I guess that at some point it was obvious. I wanted to make you think that W was Brian, Jim or Susan, but I guess it didn't work so much! Maybe Freckles is bipolar, you'll read an explanation now!

Guest 1: Maybe everything is wrong with me and just because of that you love me as you said! You don't like normal things! haha. Thank you a lot for saying it was an amazing chapter! And now you'll get an explanation so you won't be so surprised, or maybe you will...

SamCollins: I loved the way you said something and then you changed your mind. I must admit that I'm super intrigued to know what you're thinking that I'm doing. I loved the way you said that I could be the perfect Moriarty to your Sherlock; I love Sherlock Holmes! I'm intrigued because actually I don't think that I'm that smart as you mentioned; so I'm afraid I could disappoint you. Anyway, I felt so flattered when you said that I'm amazing and that when I write a book I'll have a fan in you. Maybe I'll disappoint you now because I doubt I'll ever write a book! haha I'm really intrigued to know what you think, that's all.

caarolineboeira1: I must tell you that I'm insane and well, I hope you can read this chapter even knowing that I'm still out of my mind. I don't want to blow it, but what I can tell you is that Darren isn't dreaming, but at least you'll get an explanation. Don't hate me. You enjoyed reading the make out in the bathroom and I enjoyed writing it! I always wanted to make it! Haha

SkittlesPanda: I'm so sorry that I broke your heart! But well, I hope you can keep reading this story anyway, despite all the things that happened and will happen! Just... Have mercy on me!

Natasha: I never meant to make you cry! I'm sorry for that; I just wanted to make you feel shocked! Sadly, I must say it's true and this isn't a dream. But you'll find out why Freckles is W.

Guest 2: Oh my! I'm so sorry I made you feel really bad! I mean, yes, I admit I was cruel when I wrote about it and I think you won't like so much the explanation of why Freckles is W. But... Oh! I don't want to blow it. Things are kinda heavy and I wanted to add more action to this story, so that is why I wrote what I wrote. Did I tell you this story is gonna be a super long one? Lots of things will happen; you just need to be patient to know what's gonna happen! I just don't want you all to feel as psychotic bitch as you said!

Ginny Zoey: Freckles' unknown twin sister! I liked that idea, actually and I love your imagination. I like the fact that you're shocked as Darren is, because that was my goal! Now you'll read an explanation and maybe you'll feel less shocked, or not, I don't know!

vicky: Yep, really! Your suspicions were right all this time! Freckles is W. But hey, there's an explanation. You'll find it out in this chapter... And also in the next chapters! I hope not to disappoint you.

Gabby: I'm so sorry Gabby! I didn't mean to break your heart; I only wanted to make you feel surprised! Now you'll get that explanation that you're waiting to read and I'm sorry it took you a whole week to read it! I just did it because... well, because I wanted more action in the story! So sorry!

amanecerita83: Are you surprised? I think so! You'll understand (or not) why Freckles is W! In this chapter and also in the next chapters. And yes, you'll understand the how and the why.

Vcriss: This is not a really long chapter so I'm sorry for that! But for sure you'll get the explanation and not only in this chapter, but mostly, yes. Thank you a lot for saying this story is awesome!

Guest 3: Thank you very much for saying that this is a good story and that I'm a good writer! I'm actually not because I'm aware I still have to learn a lot, but it makes me feel good and it encourages me to keep writing! So thank you. Then, well, yes, Freckles is but there's an explanation and you never know what can happen after that.

Besides that, I want to thank Zahra and Jan Nicole who gave me their opinions on Twitter!

Well, I tried my best to make it short. You guys, I have a sneaking suspicion that you won't keep reading this story after this chapter and it worries me. I beg you to keep reading this story, despite all the things that can happen. I'm cruel, I know... But... Please. I'm sorry; I won't force you to keep reading this if you don't want. But right now, maybe I regret a little what I wrote. Have mercy on me, please! Okay, now I'll let you read the explanation of why Freckles is W. Until next Saturday, guys!

* * *

**Teenage Dream – Part 27 – Living on a lie.**

* * *

Jen was looking at Freckles with eyes wide open and I was just still very confused. This couldn't be true; Freckles couldn't be W, this had to be a sort of joke. No, not Freckles, not her. I knew her, I knew her way too much, we shared a lot of things, she was my girlfriend, and she was the sweetest and most warm-hearted person I knew. But she was looking at me deeply into my eyes and her eyes weren't the same as before, there was something different in them; that wasn't the sweet look she always had. And her laughter didn't sound as always, that wasn't the enthralling and marvelous laughter she had, this laughter was completely different. But I refused to believe she was W. It was impossible and I knew it because I knew her. Man, I was a mess.

_**"You... You can't... You..."**_ I stuttered like a fool, still in shock.

_**"You, you, you..."**_ Freckles imitated me, making fun of me. _**"Learn to talk, Criss."**_ She laughed bitterly and Brian and Jim laughed along with her. This wasn't Freckles.

_**"What's going on, Freckles?"**_ I whispered very troubled so nobody except her would hear me.

_**"Ugh, Freckles. Goddammit, I always hated the way you called me, Criss."**_ She answered loudly and nastily and I felt really bad. I couldn't get this, why was she being like that with me? _**"Freckles? Seriously? That's so lame and so fucking stupid. I always knew you were a damn idiot guy, but I never thought you could be a total jerk and retarded."**_ She said nastily again, now walking around the room.

She looked so different with those tight clothes, walking very straightened with her head held high, and with all that make-up. She wasn't the simple and humble girl; she wasn't the sweet and cheerful girl, the insecure and shy girl. She now looked older than she was, she looked very self-confident and intimidating, she looked presumptuous and arrogant, haughty and audacious. No, she wasn't like this at all.

_**"What, Criss? You seem befuddled." **_She asked raising an eyebrow and looking at me in a derisive way, with a wicked smile and walking to me, placing one of her heels on my thigh and placing her hands on her waist.

_**"Have they forced you to do this?"**_ I asked looking fixedly into her eyes, very concerned. She only laughed out loud, and her laughter didn't sound as that catchy laughter she had.

_**"Have you guys heard that?" **_She asked still laughing in that awful way. _**"Have they forced you to do this?"**_ She said imitating me in a very rude way. _**"Please, bastard."**_ She said with a gross smile and now she kneeled again in front of me, placing her head very close to mine. _**"I'm W, dickhead."**_ She said whispering nastily in front of my lips. I only looked distressed into her eyes. I didn't know what was happening, but I wanted her to stop pretending this situation.

_**"I know you aren't. Baby, please stop. I don't know what they've told you to do, but stop please. I don't know with what they've threatened you this time, but forget about it, stop this, baby."**_ I whispered with trembling voice still looking into her eyes. The bright in her eyes wasn't there anymore.

_**"Aww, how cute! The poor idiot still calls me baby."**_ She laughed sarcastically and totally making fun of me. That hurt me, man. I just looked down, feeling sad. _**"Why is so hard for you to believe I'm W?"**_ She asked looking at me from above, placing a hand in my chin and forcing me rudely to look at her.

_**"Because I know you aren't like this, you're a good person probably you're the most kind-hearted person I know. And I know this because we shared a lot of things. I know you way too much."**_ I said looking deeply into her eyes feeling very distressed and trying to hold back my tears.

Why wasn't she looking at me in the same way as before? This was making me feel terrible, when I couldn't find in her eyes that love. She grabbed my chin even tighter and she was almost like digging her nails on my chin.

_**"Criss, you think you know me; but you don't know me at all. It was really easy to trick you, Criss, because you're so naive and innocent. I never thought it could be so easy to infiltrate between you."**_ She said nastily looking viciously into my eyes and still digging her nails on my chin. _**"Look at me Criss. This is what I am. Funny, isn't it?"**_ She said smiling evilly.

_**"I don't believe what you're saying. I know you aren't like this, I know what kind of person you really are." **_I said with trembling voice also looking into her eyes.

_**"What kind of person, Criss?"**_ She said archly, raising an eyebrow. Then, all of a sudden, she changed her face completely, now pouting and looking at me with sad and bright eyes. _**"The innocent, misunderstood and misplaced poor little girl who had no friends and no hopes, who wasn't self-confident, who was very lost and confused? I need you, Dare."**_ She said with the same voice she used to talk to me, but she was doing it in a mockingly way as Jim and Brian were laughing. Then she got close enough so now our faces were only four inches away. _**"I love you, Dare."**_ She whispered in front of my lips with her usual sweet voice and those bright eyes. But then she moved away and laughed viciously. I looked at her feeling completely broken and I couldn't help it but shed tears. _**"All of that? All of that was a big damn lie and you believed it. Either I'm an incredible actress or you're completely stupid and ingenuous. Maybe both."**_ She said smiling archly.

I was there looking at the girl with who I fell in love, seeing the girl I loved as nobody else, the person I loved the most. I was there seeing the girl I knew way too much, but she didn't seem to be that girl; I didn't know who the girl who was talking to me right now was, she wasn't my Freckles. And she told me 'I love you' and it sounded exactly as same as all the times she told me so; it seemed to be true, but she didn't mean it. All this time she told me those words she didn't really mean it and I thought the opposite. All this time she was lying to me, the girl I loved lied to me. It was heartbreaking to realize that she never loved me and she wasn't the kind of person I thought she was. My heart was broken and I wouldn't stop shedding tears. I was feeling terrible, dejected and bereaved. Who was this person? Where was the Freckles I knew? She didn't exist?

_**"My plan worked at the end. What do you think, Criss? Did I do a good job?"**_ She asked with a perverse smile, but I didn't answer. _**"Have you ever suspected of me?"**_ She asked over again with the same smile. Again, I didn't answer. _**"Of course not. My plan was perfect and brilliant. How would you suspect of me if I was supposedly the one who was being threatened? How would you suspect of me if the bad guys were hitting me and insulting me and I was so helpless? How would you suspect of an innocent and humble little girl? It was easy to pretend something I wasn't; it was easy to pretend that everybody was against me when in fact a lot of people were on my side. You see, Criss, a lot of people can't stand you. It was very easy to get all the people I needed to go on with my plan."**_ She said evilly and I just couldn't keep listening to all of those hideous things; it was making me feel even worse. _**"It was easy to get your friend Dean on my side; the poor little thing was very jealous of you because he always wanted to get a role-play and he never could because of your fault. It was easy to pretend that Peter and Alexandra were my friends and betrayed me; I don't know who those people are! But I did know that they couldn't stand you because they hated you since the time the principal canceled their science project when you performed your last show in school, last year. Mandy, my beloved and amazing sister! She always was very close to me and you really believed that we hated each other; no, she always helped me. Oh, what about my father and mother? Oh, the absent mother and the heartless father who kicked out her own daughter. Please, bitch, they aren't my real parents and it was so funny the way you thought they were. It was really hard to find Natalie; I needed to find her because I knew she was your mother's best friend at college. Yeah, I investigated everything about your family, Criss; I knew everything about them even before meeting them. I have my confidential resources and contacts. Jim, my best friend..."**_ She said now looking at Jim and smiling at him as he smiled back at her. Best friend? What the hell was all of this? None of this had sense. _**"Jimmy, always being a good friend and helping me. And Brian..."**_ She said walking to him and placing her hands on his chest as he placed his hands on her waist. _**"My real boyfriend."**_ She said and she kissed his lips.

I can't explain what I felt in that moment, I only know that I felt how everything was falling apart, how I was breaking and feeling completely destroyed. Brian was her boyfriend? What was this? How was this possible? I couldn't get anything; I was just too in shock. My girlfriend was kissing another guy who came to happen to be her boyfriend. And all this time I thought I was her boyfriend. She was kissing Brian in front of me as if nothing mattered and I was just looking at her feeling used and abashed.

_**"Do you really think that I would want to be with a stupid guy like you, Criss? Please, look at you. You suck, you're awkward and so idiot. Ugh, it was really disgusting when I had to kiss you; I wanted to throw up all those times. And your jokes? Please, stop doing that; you're not funny, you're pathetic and it was really hard to pretend I was laughing. And your stupid romance? Ugh, so melodramatic and mushy. The best part was when I pretended to have lost my memory. It was like a break for me, fortunately I didn't have to spend time with you, you were so absorbing and irritating."**_ She said bitterly and nastily.

Whoa, no one ever told me so many hurtful things like she was doing. She was really hurting my feelings and making me feel terrible, she was starting to lower my self-confidence; I was feeling like a fool. Why was she doing this?

_**"Why?"**_ I asked with teary voice, looking at her really distressed. She didn't look at me, but she had that serious expression on her face. _**"Why have done this? Why have you played with me?" **_

_**"You're such a crybaby, Criss."**_ Jim laughed but I ignored him. I didn't care about him; I only needed to hear Freckles' response.

_**"Why?"**_ She asked laughing and looked at me but then she quickly looked away again. _**"Because you shouldn't be here, you shouldn't exist, but unfortunately you do. But I'll explain you what led me to do this plan to destroy you."**_ She said nastily, still looking away. _**"There are certain things with which you shouldn't mess. And you messed with me, Criss; and I'd never allow it, less from a jackass guy like you."**_ She kept saying and I was looking at her very confused. What was she talking about? As far as I knew, I never messed with her. _**"I don't know if you remember that last year you met a girl who was asking you for help one rainy day."**_ She said looking at me now and I frowned in confusion. _**"Of course you don't remember, you dickhead. Let me remind you. You were in the EB Games store, surely searching for a game for your stupid PlayStation. It was raining outside; it was one of those terrible days in San Francisco. And then a little girl about eight years old walked to you. She was so tiny, with big eyes and long curly hair; she had freckles on her face and she was wearing a red plaid dress. She was lost and you were there alone, so she asked you if you could help her to find her parents. Do you remember that?"**_ She asked bitterly, looking at me furious. Man, I had no idea what she was talking about. _**"You don't, great. Well, you ignored that girl because as always, you were only minding your own business; but the girl insisted because she needed someone to help her, she was very innocent. Then you left the store and the girl decided to follow you because she thought you were a good person and you weren't going to hurt her, you were going to help her to find her parents. It was raining, as I said; you had an umbrella and the little girl was walking next to you; you looked at her and ignored her again, you didn't even offer her to stand under the umbrella and she was getting wet, you didn't care. She was crying, she was scared, she tried to hold your hand because her mother taught her that she had to walk holding hands while she was on the street; of course, you never held her hand. She tried to talk to you, she told you her name: Amy."**_ She said frowning and looking deeply into my eyes. Fuck, now I remembered it all now that she mentioned that name.

_I was in the EB Games store, trying to clear up my mind doing something stupid because I was having a shitty day. That day I found out that Chuck's girlfriend has cheated on him after all the things he has done for her. Besides, that day I got the result of my math exam and I got a fucking F, so I was very worried and very grumpy. I really needed to be away from friends and family because I couldn't and I didn't want to talk to anybody while I was being this moody. I was searching some stupid game to get distracted until a little girl walked to me. _

_"Hi. I'm lost." The little girl said shyly. I looked at her raising eyebrows and I kept searching for a game, ignoring her. I wasn't in mood to be nice to anybody and I really wasn't in mood to talk, less to a stranger. "I was walking with my parents near here and I saw a toy that I liked and when I looked back to ask my mom if she could buy it to me, she wasn't there anymore and now I don't know where they are!" The little girl said almost crying. _

_Why was that girl telling me that? Ugh, I didn't want to carry with another problem. I just walked away, so the girl would talk to somebody else. But the girl followed me and kept saying me things like explaining me why she was there. Seriously, man? Why couldn't that girl just talk to someone else? Why it had to be with me? I looked around, there were other people, so maybe if I leave the store, the girl would walk to somebody else. And I did so. It was a terrible day in San Francisco and it was raining insanely, luckily I brought my umbrella. I started walking through the street, thinking about Chuck and how he would be feeling; I didn't notice that girl followed me and now she was next to me. Oh goddammit! What the hell? Maybe if I ignored her, she wouldn't follow me anymore. So I just looked away and I kept walking; I noticed how the girl tried to hold my hand. What was wrong with her? I was a complete stranger for her, she shouldn't be doing this. _

_"I'm Amy. What's your name?" The little girl said and I ignored her again. I noticed how she looked down and started crying. Oh dammit. "I shouldn't be talking to a stranger because my mom taught me that. But I'm lost and I don't know what to do and you seem to be a nice boy; so I thought that maybe if you tell me your name then we won't be strangers and I won't be alone." The little girl with red plaid dress and long curly hair said crying. That made me feel as if I were a bad person, the way I was ignoring her. _

_"I'm Darren." I answered curtly. I only answered her because she made me feel bad, but still I didn't want to talk to anybody. "Listen Amy, I'm still a stranger so stop following me. Take this umbrella, I give it to you." I said giving her my umbrella, seeing how she was still crying. "I'm going away and you should stay here because your parents must be near here. So stop following me, okay? I'll go and I don't want to see you behind me. Your parents will find you, just... Just go under that tree so you won't get sick." I said looking at her and the girl with freckles on her face looked at me with her big eyes, still sobbing. _

_And I left and she didn't follow me. I left that little girl alone and I never saw her again._

_**"Amy. She was my sister."**_ She said bitterly, looking away.

_**"I... I didn't know..."**_ I said feeling bad for that little girl that I've forgotten. Whoa, that girl was Freckles' sister; that was super weird. _**"I don't know what this story has to do with this." **_

_**"I'll tell you, Criss. When you ignored her and you left a little girl of only six years old alone in the streets of San Francisco; someone else saw her, but this someone wasn't any of her parents, my parents. This man was acting very nice to her; this man told her that she needed to go with him because he was going to find her parents. And she, so little and innocent, believed him. The man was a criminal, he kidnapped her and he almost killed her, but fortunately cops found her on time. She was dying anyway, but she could tell us this entire story. After two days, she couldn't keep going, she died."**_ Freckles said now with teary voice, but then she looked at me very furiously.

_**"I'm sorry."**_ I answered looking down. Holy shit, this was terrible. And that was true, I was sorry, I was feeling bad for Freckles because I still cared; even though I knew that Freckles wasn't the Freckles I thought I knew.

_**"I'm sorry? Is that all you have to say, jackass?"**_ Freckles yelled really angry. _**"You ignored her, she was only six years old and she was innocent, she was asking you help; a little kid was asking you help and you ignored it. What kind of person does that? What kind of person can ignore a little scared kid? How could you leave alone a little girl knowing about all the crimes that happen in the city? You killed her, you fucking bastard!"**_ She yelled really angry.

_**"It's not my fault, so don't blame me for what happened. How could I imagine that a criminal was going to kill her?"**_ I said frowning in disbelief. And then I felt it: she slapped me with all her fury.

_**"You should be dead, not her!" **_She yelled in a rage while I was looking at her in shock.

She was fuming and she wouldn't stop huffing and wheezing, walking edgily all around the room. Everybody was silent looking at her; after a while she finally looked at me and walked abruptly to me. I was only looking at her serious and frowning, feeling something I thought I'd never feel about her: while before all I could feel for her was a tremendous feel of love and affection, now I was starting to feel for her abomination and disappointment. Yes, I was sorry for what happened to her sister, I didn't even know she was her sister and I didn't know her by that time; but she had no rights to say that I was the one who killed her, because it wasn't like that. Yes, I was feeling kind of guilty, but I wasn't a killer. Freckles kneeled and grabbed my chin again clawing at my chin. I looked at her coldly and she looked at me archly; like that we stared into each other's eyes for a while, right as what we were used to do only that this time the kind of look was completely different; there was hate in our looks instead love.

_**"You know? I should kill you, Criss; that is what you deserve."**_ She said archly, raising an eyebrow and kind of piercing my eyes with hers. _**"But, nah... It'd be so lame."**_ She said nastily. _**"Instead, I decided that I was going to make you feel just as my little sister felt when you ignored her; and how us, her family, felt when we lost her. That is why I've done all I did. I needed to make you feel how is to love something or someone so much and then suddenly this something or someone disappears, leaving you hopeless, helpless, miserable and forlorn; just as we felt when we lost her. I needed to make you feel disappointed of someone, just as my sister felt when she needed help and you ignored her. I needed to make you feel betrayed and cheated, I needed to make you feel the feeling when someone breaks a promise; just as my sister felt when you promised her that my parents were going to find her, before you left her alone and none of that happened. I needed to make you feel how cruel a person can be; I needed to make you feel lost and confused; I needed to make you feel heartbroken. I needed to make you feel destroyed, just as my sister felt when that criminal hurt her to death." **_She said with tears of anger in her eyes, still clawing at my chin. Then she let out my chin very abruptly and roughly. _**"And I wanted to make you hate someone for all this person has done; just as the same way I hate you for all you've done. You messed with the most important person I had, so you messed with me. You're despicable, Criss." **_She said in a gross way, now walking away from me. I was just looking at her blankly, but inside I was feeling very down. _**"I want to make you feel exactly how I felt when I lost my sister because of your fault: as if you're living dead. And I do think I accomplished my goal. What do you think, Criss?"**_ She asked looking at me wickedly and I just looked down, shedding tears even though I tried to hold back my tears.

Her words hurt me, because that was how I was feeling and I couldn't believe she planned it all; Freckles, my first love. I looked up at her very hurtful and still shedding tears, but I didn't say anything. She looked at me indifferent this time; she didn't care I was feeling broken, because actually she wanted me to feel like that.

_**"Yeah, it worked."**_ She said nastily, now breaking eye contact with me. _**"Awful feeling, isn't it?"**_ She said now looking fixedly at one point of the wall. _**"You can call the cops after this conversation; you can tell everybody all the terrible things I've done to you, you can scream my name and say that I should be expelled and I should be jailed for all I did. You can do it; but if you do it, then I'll show everybody what you did with my little sister, I'll tell everybody the kind of person you are, I'll press charges against you for murder, I have proofs."**_

_**"I didn't kill your sister, so you don't have proofs."**_ I said with trembling voice, feeling really mad and gloomy at the same time.

_**"Oh, but I do have. I got a video record of a store when you were talking to my sister and you left her alone. Right when you left her alone you called someone with your phone and minutes after, that man who kidnapped my sister appeared. You called that man to go for her, Criss."**_ She said archly and I looked at her really disturbed.

_**"I did not do that."**_ I said really deranged.

_**"I've got that proof, Criss, and I've got the best lawyer in San Francisco. I can prove that it was what actually happened, even though it isn't like that. Welcome to the world of lies, Criss."**_ She said laughing bitterly and I looked at her in disbelief.

_**"If I have learned something in life is that the lie is put against whoever invented it."**_ I said coldly looking at her.

_**"I'm not afraid of it, Criss. And I'm not afraid of you, dickhead. So bring it on, if you want. You won't beat me." **_She answered just as coldly. Then she looked at Brian and Jim. _**"Punch them, make them bleed. Then you can let them go."**_ Freckles said nastily and heartless; now walking to the door to leave the room. I followed her with my gaze, feeling letdown. She looked fixedly into my eyes before she left, it was the most contemptuous look she could have had. _**"Bye, Criss." **_

And that was the last I heard from her before Jim and only him started punching me and Jen and she closed the door behind her. His punches were painful, but it was nothing compared to what I was feeling. I've been betrayed by the person I was in love with.

* * *

When you closed the door behind you after talking to Darren, you heard steps coming closer to you, but you didn't look up; you knew who it was.

_**"I finally did it."**_ You said feeling very furious. _**"You're nasty."**_

_**"You're the nasty girlfriend who pretended all this time to be someone who wasn't. That's what Criss knows now, just reminding you."**_ The person answered. Then the person grabbed the phone and called someone. _**"Set them free."**_

* * *

_**"Dare, can I come in?"**_ I heard Jen's voice.

_**"Yeah, sure."**_ I answered listless, without moving from my bed.

Jen opened the door and entered in my bedroom. As soon as she saw me, she sighed and shook her head. I knew why that was. In the last six days, I didn't move from my bedroom, I didn't even go to school. I spent all the days locked in my bedroom, feeling way too bad to do something. I didn't want to see anybody, I didn't want to talk, I didn't want to eat, I didn't want to take a shower, I didn't want anything but lying in my bed. Neither my parents nor my brother asked me what happened, because they knew me and they knew that when I was like that it was better if they didn't ask. They let me skip school during the week and I was very thankful for that. Jen also didn't go to school, but she wouldn't stop texting me and I honestly didn't answer her because I wasn't in mood. I haven't heard anything about Freckles and neither had I wanted to hear something about her; it was enough with having her on my mind all the time, thinking of how she tricked me. Man, all these days I've been crying like a baby and I couldn't stop; I was really broken. Jen walked to me and I just buried my head on the pillow so she wouldn't see my swollen and red eyes. I noticed she sat on the edge of my bed.

_**"Darren, you stink."**_ Was the first she said. I knew why she was there and I knew this was hard for her to start talking because she knew I wouldn't talk.

_**"Whatever."**_ I answered curtly, still burying mi head on the pillow.

Jen just sighed and then I noticed she stood up and she started cleaning my room. There were a lot of things on the floor: clothes, food wrappers, glasses, papers, everything. Yeah, my bedroom was a real mess, but I didn't want to clean it, I didn't mind that mess in this moment. Now finally I looked at her frowning, seeing how she was doing it all and I didn't want it; but I wasn't feeling like talking, so I let her doing so. Until she grabbed a picture that was on the floor, right next to my bed. She grabbed it and looked at it with a sad face; I quickly stood up and took it abruptly, feeling really annoyed.

_**"Stop doing it, Jen."**_ I said rudely before coming back to my bed with the picture on my hands.

When I lay down in bed again, I looked at the picture that I've been seeing every day all the time and my eyes filled in tears. It was the first and only picture I had with Freckles, when we went for a bike riding the day right after we became a couple. I placed the picture on my chest and I started shedding tears in silence, looking at the ceiling. Why would she lie to me? I needed her, I needed her just as the way I met her, not the way she actually was. I missed that girl and she wouldn't come back because everything was a lie. My happiness was a lie, my memories of us together were a lie, and my love and her love were a lie.

_**"Dare, we need to talk."**_ Jen said softly, sitting on my bed again and rubbing her hand on my arm.

_**"There's nothing to talk about."**_ I answered with teary voice while still weeping.

_**"Give me that picture."**_ Jen demanded softly.

_**"No."**_ I refused, holding the picture strongly against my chest. I was feeling as if that picture was the only real thing I had of Freckles. I was feeling that I needed that picture because it was the only good thing I had from the girl I loved.

_**"Please, give it to me."**_ Jen insisted.

_**"No, Jen. I need it."**_ I said again with teary voice.

_**"You don't need it; you need to get rid of that picture." **_Jen said and she finally took the picture. And that was when I felt a hole in my heart, as if everything was completely over now. _**"How do you feel?"**_

_**"How do you expect me to feel, Jen?" **_I asked looking at her with tears in my eyes. _**"All that made me happy is gone and never existed; all the emotions I felt were never real; all the talks, all the laughs, all the tears, all the dreams and fears, all the memories, secrets and moments shared weren't real."**_ I said sobbing, feeling very sorrowful while Jen was looking at me afflicted.

_**"Dare..."**_ Jen said with cracked voice. _**"Please don't feel bad."**_

_**"Don't feel bad? How?"**_ I asked in disbelief and very dejected. _**"Jen, I'm so fucking in love with a person that doesn't exist. What do I have to do with that?"**_

_**"I... I don't know."**_ Jen said distressed looking down. Jen never answered me that she didn't know; she always had something to say. I looked at her for a while, crying in silence.

_**"Jen, I feel as if all the good things that I had, have gone. I feel empty and I need by my side a person that doesn't exist; that person is all I need to feel better and that person doesn't exist. And I'm angry, I'm frustrated, I'm sad, I'm broken."**_ I said sobbing, looking at the ceiling again. _**"How do you stop loving a person that doesn't exist? How do you stop feeling a love that isn't real but it's real at the same time? How do you overcome it? I don't know. I know that I need to move on, but I can't because I just can't tell anymore what is real or not."**_ I said still crying and Jen was only rubbing my arm reassuringly. _**"And I want to stop crying but she keeps popping on my mind all the time and I can't. I want to forget her but I can't; I mean, how do you forget something that never existed? It has no sense. I want to stand up again and be the guy I used to be before I met her, but I can't remember how I was when I wasn't with her, because she changed me. She is a part of me, and if she never existed; then what's with that? Does it mean that that part of me doesn't exist? It isn't real, but I feel it. How come? I'm so fucking confused, I'm a fucking mess, Jenny."**_ I said with cracked voice, feeling very exasperated. _**"She was my other half, Jen; I feel incomplete without her. I just can't believe that it all was a lie. And she got it; she destroyed me, Jen, just as she wanted." **_

_**"Don't say that, Dare. She didn't destroy you, you're still here."**_ Jen said anguished.

_**"I feel as if I were dead, Jen."**_ I answered honestly, looking blankly at the ceiling.

_**"Darren Everett Criss, don't say that again."**_ Jen said now bossy and firmly. _**"Yes, you've lost a person you loved a lot and it's terrible, I know that feeling. But it isn't the end of everything. You're young, you have a lot to live for, and you have a lot of wonderful things. I know that right now is hard for you to believe it, but it's like that. You'll see that eventually the wound in your heart will heal and you'll discover again how beautiful is to live your life. And if you can't forget her, then I'll distract you; if you can't stop crying, then I'll give you reasons to smile; if you can't move on, then I'll give you my hand and together we'll find the way. Your heart is not the first broken heart; you're not the first who felt like this; if all those people could move on, why wouldn't you? Everything is not lost; you only lost a very important part of your life, but not all of them. So, hold on to the other good things you have."**_ She said firmly but with cracked voice, she was also shedding tears.

_**"But it hurts, Jen. It hurts so much."**_ I said weeping again and she pulled me into a warm hug.

_**"I know it hurts. She was my friend too."**_ Jen said with teary voice while we both were still hugging and crying. _**"But we'll be fine because it's over now. We'll find the way to move on, I promise."**_ She assured and I buried my head on her shoulder to cry. Jen was my only friend now and I needed her.

_**"Promise me that you won't walk away as everybody did. Please." **_I said while still crying on her shoulder. She started caressing my hair reassuringly.

_**"I promise, Dare. You're my best friend and I need you just as you need me."**_ Jen said with teary voice.

Yes, we were leaving behind a stage of our lives; we were starting a new one. This time without Freckles, the girl that I still loved but I didn't love at the same time.

* * *

It was Monday, the day you came back to school after a whole week you didn't go. Mandy, after you told her all that happened and you made her promise that she wasn't going to mention it, convinced you to come back because it was time. She supported you all this time, just as you needed. Yet, you were still scared to come back to school. You didn't know what was going to happen after it. You didn't know what the entire school will think about you if someone mentioned what you did; you didn't know if the principal knew about this; but what was worrying you the most was to see Jen and Darren. You were going to see them, but nothing was going to be as it used to be and you weren't ready to be hated by them, you weren't ready to see them and not to talk to them as before. You spent the whole week thinking about Darren, you knew he wasn't going to talk to you anymore. It was like going to your first day of school at the beginning of this year, only that it was even worse.

_**"Come on, let's go little sis."**_ Mandy said friendly and softly, very different than the way she said it in your first day of school this year: 'Hurry up, stupid.' _**"Everything will be all right; I'll stay with you all the time."**_ She said again very different than the first day of school: 'Remember, once we arrive at school, walk away from me as soon as you can.'

When you arrived at school, all your fears became true. As soon as you came in, everybody was silent and looked at you in a suspicious and cold way, murmuring and gossiping things. When you saw it all, you stood there, not wanting to walk through the hallway, but Mandy linked her arm with yours and she led you to your locker. All the people cornered and walked away from you as you were passing by them, also murmuring things and looking fixedly at you. This was being worse than what you expected, you were feeling very exposed and not in a good way. You heard some things that people were saying.

_**"You moron."**_

_**"Get out of this school, damn bully."**_

_**"Fuck you, bitch."**_

_**"Bug off, asswipe."**_

_**"Get a life, you floozy." **_

Those were just some of the hurtful things you heard; you didn't answer, you kept walking looking down, being led by Mandy who was walking with her held head high, ignoring all those rude comments. When you were about to reach your locker, you looked up and there you saw Darren. He was standing alone not far from you were, also looking at you. But he didn't have his usual bright smile, he wasn't looking at you cheerfully; he was very serious and he was fixedly looking at you in anger. You felt really bad, your heart started beating fast, your body started trembling, and you tried your best to hold back your tears; you couldn't see him, it was hurting you. Then you saw how Karen walked to him; she whispered something in his ear, Darren nodded and then she linked her arm with his. They started walking and Darren looked at you one more time, a disappointed and disgusted look. Darren, instead walking to you with his usual happiness and gladness, turned around with a disgusted expression on his face, ignoring you and passing by your side with Karen; and Darren walked away as if you weren't there, as if he didn't know you. When he passed by your side and he was already behind you; you started shedding tears and Mandy rubbed your back reassuringly, not saying anything at all. And when Mandy was still rubbing your back, you looked up and you saw Brian, who was looking at you sadly. He was observing this situation, you knew it. When Mandy got distracted to curse a boy who was insulting you, Brian walked to you slowly. But you didn't look at him; you were seeing Darren walking away from you. You noticed that Brian was now standing by your side, but you didn't look at him, you didn't want to look at him because you were still sobbing in silence.

_**"You fell in love with him, didn't you?"**_ He suddenly asked and you glanced at him surreptitiously; he was also looking at Darren.

_**"I did, but it's pointless now." **_You sighed and wiped away your tears, trying not to cry again. You opened your locker and left your bag there, in silence.

_**"Why don't you tell him the truth?"**_ Brian asked and you looked down, shaking your head.

_**"Do you think he's gonna believe it? I screwed it and there's no back." **_You said gloomy. _**"Anyway, I can't say anything." **_

_**"I see."**_ Brian answered sadly. _**"Do you want him back?"**_

_**"What if I want to? It's not gonna happen and I have to deal with it."**_ You answered now looking at Brian.

_**"Yes, it can happen. Somehow, if you want him back, you're gonna get it. Somehow and someday he's gonna find out why you've done all you did and he will understand." **_Brian said with a faintly smile and you looked down, huffing. _**"You just need to have faith." **_

_**"I can't have faith; not anymore. It never worked on me. Somehow, all the things I do seem always to be wrong. Somehow, I fail at everything always. I just wish I could control and take my own decisions without hurting anyone."**_ You sighed looking down and Brian placed a hand on your shoulder.

_**"And I wish you could see all the good things you do for others and how lovely you are."**_ Brian said kindly and you looked up at him, amazed and feeling touched.

That was the first nice thing that someone told you that shitty day, so you let out a tear without being able to control it. Brian, for the very first time in public, hugged you. You felt very strained at first because this was really weird; but he was reassuring you, he was comforting you; so you just hugged him back, feeling protected and not so alone now. When you broke the hug, you looked at him with a faint but friendly smile and he smiled kindly at you.

_**"Hi, Brian."**_ Mandy interrupted you, looking suspiciously at Brian. Your sister was being very overprotective.

_**"Hi, Mandy."**_ Brian greeted her politely. _**"How are you?"**_

_**"Fine, dealing with some jerks here."**_ She answered moody, looking at the boy she was cursing minutes ago. Brian nodded, looking down and then there was an uncomfortable silence.

_**"Well, I have to go to class. You're coming with me, right? We both have Spanish class."**_ Brian said looking at you and you nodded.

_**"All right, I'll see you after that class, sis. Please, take care and do not let those jerks to hurt you, okay?" **_Mandy asked concerned and you nodded. Then she looked at Brian suspiciously. _**"And watch out, Brian. If I find out that you..."**_

_**"Mandy, it's fine."**_ You interrupted her and she nodded, still looking at Brian suspiciously. _**"Let's go, Brian, or we're gonna be late."**_

Brian nodded and you walked to the Spanish classroom in silence. When you entered the classroom, everybody looked at you irritated and started mumbling things again. You looked at the whole class, trying to find Darren as you used to do. Shit, you needed to remember that now you weren't going to be able to sit next to him as usual, you needed to remember that nothing was the same now therefore you couldn't do the same things. But you found him anyway. He was sitting alone in one of the last seats, scribbling in his notebook, very serious and almost blankly, ignoring you as never before. There were empty seats next to him, but you thought that maybe the best would be to sit away from him. Anyway, you and Brian sat in the same row, but three seats away from him. When you sat, Darren stopped doing what he was doing to look at you in a very cold way; your eyes met and you kept staring for a long time as before, but not as before. This eye contact wasn't as comforting and fondly as before. After a long, he shook his head and looked away in a very stiff way; you only looked down. This day just started and you already wanted it to end. Mr. Rhodes finally arrived and he did not greet the class as usual.

_**"Criss, to the principal's office."**_ He said severely. You looked at Darren frowning and Darren looked at the teacher stunned and confused. Why would the principal want to talk to him?

_**"I did nothing wrong. Why should I go to the principal's office?"**_ He asked cheerless.

_**"Just go, Criss. Now."**_ The teacher replied severely and then he looked at you with a disgusted expression. _**"You too. Go to the principal's office."**_ He said even more severely. Would the teachers know what happened?

Now the whole class was looking at you and Darren fixedly. Darren huffed, grabbed his stuff and stood up to leave the class; ignoring you completely. You also grabbed your stuff and stood up. Brian looked at you and he muttered 'It'll be fine.' You smiled sadly at him and then you left the classroom. Darren was already walking to the principal's office and he didn't look behind not even to see if you were behind; he didn't wait for you like the last time. You two were walking through the hallway in silence and ignoring each other as if you were strangers, as if nothing between you both happened one time ago; and that was very hurtful. When you arrived to the principal's office, Mr. Bradesca was already there, waiting for you two. Jen was there too. She looked at you and then she looked away disappointed.

_**"Mr. Criss, please take a seat."**_ He said very serious and Darren did so in silence. Then the principal looked at you. _**"Please, wait outside."**_

You nodded and you left the office in silence. The principal closed the door and you sat in one of the seats that were outside, alone. You started suspecting the reasons why you were there, but you didn't want to think about it. You were very nervous and very sad. Why this had to be happening? After a long time, the principal opened the door again.

_**"Please, come in."**_ He said severely.

You looked at him feeling even more nervous, but you stood up and walked to the office. Once there, the principal closed the door and sat at his desk. You didn't know what to do or say, so you sat on the only empty seat, right next to Darren. He ignored you as he has been doing since you saw him; he was just looking down, resting his elbows on his knees. Jen also ignored you. The only one who wasn't ignoring you was the principal. You looked at him frowning and feeling how your heart started beating fast. The situation was very tense and the principal wasn't saying anything at all, he was only looking at you fixedly and you didn't like that look. Whatever the principal had to say, he needed to say it now, because you were about to explode thanks to your nervousness.

_**"You're expelled from this school."**_ The principal finally said roundly.

You looked at him in shock, aware that all of your fears were coming true. You remained silent because you couldn't speak, so you just looked down in shock. This was only a nightmare, this wasn't happening. You noticed how Darren glanced at you surreptitiously, but you couldn't tell what kind of look that was and you were too in shock to try to guess. The point is that Darren looked away again without saying anything at all and it made you feel even worse; because in other circumstances, he'd have defended you. Now it was probably that he was the one who told the principal all you've done and for that now he was expelling you; but you couldn't blame Darren for doing it.

_**"Weeks ago I found out the serious problem of bullying in this school and I made it clear the new politics against bullying. So you were aware that whoever was responsible of bullying was going to be expelled from this school."**_ The principal said serious. _**"It's such a shame because you're one of the best students; I'd have never expected this from you."**_ The principal said disappointed of you; disappointed just as everybody. You didn't answer, you still couldn't. _**"This morning I received a video in which you are threatening them in a cleaning room of this school."**_ The principal said looking at Darren and Jen who were looking down, both of them very serious and avoiding your gaze. Fuck, how the hell could the principal have that video? _**"I've interrogated them and they refused to talk, but at the end I came to the conclusion that, sadly, this video isn't rigged. Do you confirm that you've been bullying them?" **_The principal asked looking at you fixedly.

You just looked down, feeling how your whole body was trembling. You didn't know what to answer. You didn't want to be expelled because school was very important to you because you really wanted to go to college. But you couldn't say anything. Again, you needed to take a decision: You or all the people you loved. Again, it was you versus a lot of people. You bit your lower lip, feeling very troubled and stricken.

_**"I'll take your silence as a yes."**_ The principal warned you, but you didn't answer. _**"All right. Do you confirm that you've been attacking the welfare of two students?"**_ He asked and again, you didn't answer. You noticed that both Darren and Jen were glancing at you surreptitiously and kind of distressed. _**"Good. Do you confirm that you're the responsible of all the hideous events lately occurred in this school such as bullying; harassment; and physical, verbal and emotional violence?"**_ The principal asked severely.

You just closed your eyes, looked down and bit your lower lip strongly. Oh damn, you were feeling terrible, this was terrible. You wanted to scream the truth, but you reminded to yourself that you couldn't regret your decision of having done what you've done. Ugly tears wanted to come out, but you did your best to hold them back. You noticed how Darren shifted in his chair as he was also biting his lower lip. The principal just sighed.

_**"Well, everything was told."**_ Mr. Bradesca said disappointed and you tried to seem as strong as you could. _**"Take now all of your personal stuff and leave the school. You're expelled."**_

You heard those words again and you felt as if someone was stabbing your heart, everything was going wrong, very different as what you've planned. You looked down again and gulped before nodding and standing up. You weren't able to look at the principal, you were feeling very ashamed for something that you shouldn't because it was your decision; you weren't able to look at Jen and Darren, two of the people who were feeling disappointed of you, who hated you now. You just remained standing for a while because you couldn't walk, because you couldn't control your body, because you were shaking and you were feeling as if you couldn't walk. When you finally could control it a bit, you turned around to leave the office, but first you glanced at Darren. He wasn't glancing at you surreptitiously anymore; he was now looking fixedly at you, kind of distressed, kind of disappointed and kind of upset; but as soon as he noticed you looked at him, he looked away. That was it, your heart broke into million pieces and you finally left the office. When you came out of the office, Mandy, somehow, was there waiting for you. You looked at her and you couldn't help it, you broke into tears, feeling how everything was falling apart. Mandy looked at you distressed and she ran to hug you, so now you started crying on her shoulder. She tried to reassure you, but the truth was that nothing could reassure you at this point. Nothing. You heard how the door of the office was opening and you could see that it was Jen and Darren coming out from there. They passed by your side, ignoring you. But when they were already away, you saw how Darren turned his head around to look at you. That was going to be the last time you were going to see him. When you realized this, you sobbed; more when Darren finally disappeared, turning around in the corner.

* * *

_**"Jen... Is it bad to feel bad for Freckles?"**_ I asked thoughtful and downhearted while we were at drama class, about to practice for our final show.

_**"I don't know. I feel bad too, but we shouldn't; not after all she did."**_ Jen answered avoiding my gaze, doing warm-up exercises.

_**"Yeah, it's just that I feel weird. It's been six weeks that she isn't in this school anymore, and it's weird not to see her anymore. I don't know if I feel sad or if I feel better now that she isn't around anymore. Sometimes I forget that she isn't the girl I used to know."**_ I said still thoughtful and doing side bends.

_**"Me too. But you heard what Karen said, we need to forget her because she's hurt us too much already, she's not a good person and it's hurting us. For the first time I agree with Karen."**_ Jen said rolling her shoulders forward and backward.

_**"Yeah, I agree too. But I can't help it feeling weird; even this class without her is weird. I was going to act with her, and now she isn't here. I often wonder what she would be doing. Shit, I just want to stop thinking those things."**_ I sighed while I was doing knee highs and jumping jacks.

_**"So just stop thinking about her and focus on this show we have to perform. You're gonna rock this, Darren; but only if you focus on this and nothing else. I'm sure that this show is a good chance to help you not to think about her."**_ Jen said shaking out her wrists.

_**"Yeah, maybe."**_ I answered discouraged, nodding my head side to side then forward and back. Jen stopped doing what she was doing to sigh and look at me deeply into my eyes.

_**"Think about this, Darren. You're single now and if you rock this show, then a lot of girls will be fighting to get you. Consider it as a starting over."**_ Jen said smiling slightly and I tried to smile but it didn't work.

I honestly couldn't think about other girls because I was still in love with the person I thought it was real. She was everything to me, so it wasn't easy to just forget her as if nothing happened. It was really hard for me to ignore her the day she was expelled; it was really hard for me to see her for the last time, even if I was aware of what she did. Then I noticed that Jen looked behind me, frowning and very serious, so I turned my head around to see what she was seeing. Mandy was standing behind me.

_**"Can I talk to you, Darren?" **_She asked kind of shy. I looked at her frowning and serious just as Jen.

_**"Yeah, tell me."**_ I answered curtly, trying to ignore her.

_**"Please, I need to talk to you in private."**_ She said looking around.

_**"No, whatever you have to say, you can say it now and here."**_ I answered curtly again.

_**"Please, Darren."**_ She said. _**"Only this time and I promise not to bug you anymore. But just let me talk to you in private this time."**_ Mandy said so supplicant that she seemed to be kind of desperate.

_**"Fine. Only this time, for the last time."**_ I answered coldly and she nodded.

We both walked out the classroom in silence. When we were already outside, I crossed my arms and I leaned against the wall, waiting for her to start talking. I needed to be strong, because I was suspecting of what she wanted to talk about and it was for sure something about Freckles.

_**"She's not doing well, Darren."**_ Mandy finally said with cracked voice, looking down. I just looked at her raising eyebrows and incredulous.

_**"Does this affect me? Do I have to care about this?"**_ I asked coldly. Shit, that sounded so rough, but I couldn't help it. She looked up at me really afflicted and in disbelief.

_**"She was your girlfriend, Darren."**_ Mandy whispered frowning.

_**"You said it, she was. I don't even know who she is because everything was a fucking lie."**_ I exclaimed annoyed. _**"If you made me come here to tell me that, then this conversation is over. I don't fucking care how she's doing or what she's doing. It's none of my business and I'm not interested to know."**_

_**"Darren, how can you say that?"**_ She asked distressed with trembling voice.

_**"How can I say that?"**_ I asked laughing bitterly and in disbelief. _**"She used me like a boy toy, Amanda. I loved her and I gave her everything and she only laughed at me. She tricked me, she harassed me, she hurt me; everything for a damn mistake I've made once which wasn't even intentional. She destroyed me, Amanda, and you're asking now how can I say that? Goddammit!"**_ I exclaimed in a rage and exasperated.

_**"She didn't do it."**_ Mandy said with trembling voice and teary eyes.

_**"She didn't do it? What am I? The biggest fool in the whole damn earth?" **_I asked in disbelief, grinning bitterly. _**"Yeah, I'm a damn fool for believing that she loved me once; but I'm not blind and I'm not deaf. I saw and heard when she admitted she was W all this time."**_

_**"Well, yes. You're blind because you can't see she truly loves you."**_ Mandy said this time firmly and I laughed bitterly, shaking my head. _**"You're so blind because you can't see that she isn't what you think she is."**_

_**"Yeah, sure."**_ I said nodding bitterly. _**"Is that all you have to say? Because I have more important things to do, so if you excuse me..."**_

_**"For fuck's sake, Darren! Open your eyes! You have to realize who the bad person actually is!"**_ She yelled exasperated and I looked at her suspiciously.

_**"You tell me. Who is the bad person?"**_ I asked and Mandy looked down, biting her lower lip. She didn't answer. _**"Stop bugging me with Freckles. I don't care about her, so I'd appreciate if you don't mention me her anymore."**_ I lied but it seemed it was true. _**"She means absolutely nothing to me."**_ I lied again.

_**"Someday you're gonna realize how things truly are and you'll regret for saying that, Darren."**_ Mandy said looking at me disappointed. _**"I thought you were different, but you're another asshole."**_

_**"Your sister is the asshole."**_ I answered coldly. I never thought I could say something like that about Freckles and I felt bad; but then I remembered how things were and she was that.

_**"Good. I'll let her know that you said that, so maybe she will stop crying and doing things that are hurting her only to protect you and your family. Maybe if I tell her what you said she's gonna start living her life instead worrying about you."**_ Mandy said with teary voice, but looking at me coldly.

_**"Whatever, Amanda, whatever."**_ I said coldly and indifferently. _**"I won't believe your lies again. So fuck off and leave me in peace now. Bye." **_

_**"You'll regret, Darren!"**_ She yelled when I was already walking to the classroom, ignoring her last comment.

The truth was that now I was thinking what the hell she tried to tell me with all of those things she said. Why would she say that Freckles was doing it to protect me and my family? That had no sense at all… Or yes? Fuck, I needed to just forget her.


	28. Making a choice

A/N: Hi guys! How are you doing? First of all, I want to say that I'm feeling really happy because I reached the 200th reviews! And the winner is: SamCollins (Gab, I know that is you)! haha yes, you were the review number 200 with your second comment. Okay, I got interesting reviews, different point of views but some very similar. I only hope you're enjoying this story. I'm really out of words today; I don't know what is happening to me because I usually talk a lot. You know? I'll blame it on Darren Criss. For the people that watch Glee, you may know why I'm like this... Darren shirtless. Okay, I'll put aside my feelings about that. Better I'll start answering the reviews!

alicegursk: You always manage to make me laugh with your reviews (in a good way of course). Give me the blanket, please! What you're asking is too much, but I swear that very deep in my heart I'm a nice person, so please don't kill me! I'm sorry that you're a mess like Darren! I'm so very intrigued to know how you'll feel about this chapter now! I hope you won't cry this time!

monique: Were you surprised? Okay yes, maybe Freckles isn't a bad person! Now you'll know it all in this new chapter! Let's see how you'll feel!

Guest: I'm assuming that you left me two reviews; if not, I'm answering this to two people at the same time. Thank you a lot for saying that I'm a good writer! I'm trying to improve, though! And fine, I'll take it as a compliment, thanks a lot! Maybe the mess is gonna vanish with this chapter! And about publishing this story... What did you mean? I thought I was publishing this! Just kidding! But really, did you mean to publish this like a book for a bookstore? I think that would be almost impossible, I'll lose a lot of money because people won't buy it! Haha

Mockingjay-Potterhead-9: Is it really surprising the things that are happening? Aww, I know, the story about the little Amy! I'm always weak when it comes to little kids, so I understand you. Thank you a lot for saying that I'm doing a good work; I don't think it's awesome, though; but thanks, really! Is my head too weird? I'm a weirdo, maybe! Let's see if with this chapter I can leave you speechless or not! Thanks!

Kaylacriss332: Oh my wizard god! I burst out laughing when I read your review! Freckles is a fucking horcrux, I love that idea way too much! Your imagination is just so amazing; I wish I could think like you! And I don't know why I thought you'd stop reading this! I guess I had one of those insecure feelings, I hate those! Well, now I'll have to think how to turn Freckles into a horcrux... Maybe Darren is not gonna be Harry freakin' Potter, maybe he's gonna be Voldy and Freckles his horcrux; but I like Joe W. as Voldy. It's a hard decision.

Vcriss: I think you're confused, or maybe surprised? I can't tell, but I sense that's a good feeling, I think! I hope you're enjoying this. About the second comment, Chain Letters. What did you mean? Like, writing another story similar to Chain Letters or writing about like the Second Part of Chain Letters? On the assumption that is the second option... Oh well, what can I say? Chain Letters was like... it was very intense for me to write it and it was the best I could write and I doubt I could ever write something like that, not even Teenage Dream would be good (from my point of view), because I poured out my entire heart in Chain Letters. Yes, maybe I'd like to change some things if I read it again. It's funny because recently I read the last chapter of that story and it made me feel weird, a good feeling. But I'm not sure if I can write a second part of it because I'm afraid that I can totally screw it, and I wouldn't like to screw that story. I'll consider it, if I ever write a second part of it, I really need to think pretty well how I'd continue it, you know, to not screw it.

SamCollins: Okay Gab, we talked on Twitter already, my Latina fellow, my Sherlock to my Moriarty! Anyway, I'm gonna reply you because you already know I like to talk too much. I'll never spoil you anything about the story, no matter how hard you try and I'm sure you don't want me to spoil you anything. So I won't say anything about W, except that you really have to read this chapter. Let's see if this time you expected what it's going to happen, I challenge you, Sherlock! But you're Sherlock, so you surely have a lot of clues and you surely suspected about what's going to happen. Whatever, I'm Moriarty and I'm awesome. Haha. I love the face you put when talked about Chain Letters, can you really make that face? *w*? Please, tell your friend to not hate me, I'll soon stop with the suspense and this thing of twisting things, so tell him that you won't be so eager next time! But I'm glad you listened to your friend and you talked to me! Now I know more things about you and that's great! You're so funny and weird and I like that!

TimMyeong: It's amazing that you're telling me of whom you suspect. It's always amazing to read things like those. So, you're suspecting of Jen, huh? That's interesting. And yes, you'll find out who W is, maybe sooner than what you expect! And yeah, Freckles and Darren's relationship is a bit screwed, I know. But well, I love drama, I can't do anything about it! Okay, I just want to know what you'll think about this new chapter!

caarolineboeira1: You don't understand anything anymore! haha That's funny and I like that because that was actually my intention (I'm a very cruel person). So Freckles... Maybe Freckles is not that bad, but don't worry because you'll get explanations in this chapter, good ones! Maybe your heart will be even more broken after this chapter, maybe this chapter is a little sad and I'm really sorry but I always loved drama! Haha. But at least I'm warning you! Get ready!

guest: Oh, no! Now I'm feeling guilty because I made you feel guilty! Please, don't feel guilty! I know you were kidding when you said that thing of psychotic bitch! Please, I knew that because I'm like that, always saying those things in a jokingly way! And when I replied your last review if I said something bad, it was because I was saying it in a jokingly way, so sorry! My sense of humor almost always is gotten in a wrong way because I tend to be sarcastic and jokingly but not in a bad way, so I often make people feel bad even if it isn't my intention. I'm so sorry and please, do not apologize! I understand you didn't want to say that to me! And thank you a lot for saying that you enjoy this story! Really thank you and sorry! I think we can maybe start again and forget the misunderstandings!

SkittlesPanda: So many feelings! It reminds me of Darren (actually Blaine) when sings! It wasn't Freckles, yeah well; you'll know it with this chapter. Just calm down, you'll get explanations and you'll understand what's going on! I promise. Do not cry, even if this chapter is a little sad, do not cry. And please, do not punch Darren in the face! Even if with this chapter you'll really want to do it. Poor Darren! You don't want to break his nose, do you?

Ginny Zoey: I know, it's outrageous! I can't promise you to make things better, but I can promise you that you'll get explanations now and from there, the story and their relationship is gonna develop. And maybe you were right, maybe this is what W wanted, to make Freckles feel completely destroyed. You'll see! And one more thing I can tell you is that Teenage Dream still has a lot of more chapters, so who knows? Maybe things eventually will get better. So far, I have 40 chapters written and I still have a lot more to write, but I'm still unsure if I'm gonna post all I wrote because I could change my mind at any time, I'm like that! haha

MeMi83: Yes, you were right all this time but I didn't want to tell you that because I didn't want to spoil you anything! Thank you a lot! I really love writing this and I'm trying to do my best to keep it entertaining; either with suspense, drama, romance and a little comedy; that's why I like to twist things all the time, sometimes it works, sometimes not; guess I'll improve with time! Thanks!

vicky: Okay, okay! You caught me! Yes, there's someone behind all of this, and maybe in this chapter you'll find it out. If you find it out, then in the next chapters you'll get the answer of your question if Darren is gonna be able to forgive Freckles for doing what she did. But first Darren should find it out, right?

Guest: Right now I feel like a demon because I'm a bad influence for your studying! But well, at least I know you'll do it after reading the new chapter! Thank you a lot! I'm glad you're enjoying this story and I'm so very glad that you liked Chain Letters as well! You see, for this story, you'll have to wait a lot to read the ending. Like really, a lot. I'm not planning to end it any soon, and I hope that could be good news for you!

Okay guys! I got so many reviews that mentioned Chain Letters and it's weird because recently I read the last chapter of that story! haha just wanted to say that! Now back to this story... I have a question for you all and I wish you can answer it. We're in the chapter number 28, right? Well, this first part ends in the chapter 30. If you read the summary, you surely know that Teenage Dream takes place at high school, college and professional life. All you read so far was only the high school part. So, you have 2 options: Either if you want this story to end in the chapter 30 only with the part of high school, or if you want me to keep posting more chapters that take place at college and professional life. So far, I wrote 40 chapters, and currently I'm writing the college part. But if you feel like you're gonna get bored about this, I'd like if you let me know that. Because in case you want to read only the part of high school, I really need to change the end of the story because... well, because it really can't end in the way I wrote the chapter 30. So please, let me know what you think and what you'd like! I'd appreciate it so much! Okay, now I'll stop boring you all with my boring comments and I'll let you read this new chapter! I hope you can enjoy it, guys! Until next Saturday! Warm fuzzies!

* * *

**Teenage Dream – Part 28 – Making a choice.**

* * *

When I entered the classroom again, after having that odd talk to Mandy, Jen was waiting for me.

_**"What did she want?"**_ She asked curiously.

_**"Nothing, just shit."**_ I answered moody. _**"Just... Let's practice." **_

Jen nodded and we started practicing few lines; but I couldn't focus on it, I was still thinking about what Amanda said. Was really Freckles crying about me? Was she really feeling bad? And what did she mean when she said that Freckles was doing things to protect me and my family? Why did she tell me that I needed to open my eyes because she wasn't the bad person? I started feeling really confused but then I remembered that day when Freckles admitted she was W. She was telling the truth that time; it was ridiculous to start doubting it. I needed to stop being a fool, I needed to stop believing their lies; I needed to focus on myself now and forget about Freckles. Yes, I needed. When the class finished, I checked my phone and I had a text message. It was from an unknown number, but it wasn't the same that Freckles used when she was texting me as a W. I read it very curious; even more curious when I realized that I could reply the text message, not like those text messages from W, I mean, Freckles.

From unknown number: **Criss, they're lying to you. You think you know who W is, but things aren't as they seem.**

To unknown number: **Who is this? Amanda, if this is you; stop bugging me, geez.**

From unknown number: **I ain't telling you who I am; but I'm not Amanda. Your girlfriend is not the one to blame, Criss; you should know it.**

To unknown number: **I do not have a girlfriend and I'd appreciate if you stop texting me. If you have something to talk about, come and face me; don't be a coward as the supposedly girlfriend is.**

From unknown number: **Will do; but not yet 'cause you're not ready yet. Just try to see things more than you can see superficially. There's something else you still don't know.**

To unknown number: **Why don't you make this easier and just tell me now what is that about?**

From unknown number: **You need to find it out by yourself. I know you won't believe what others say. But I'm willing to help you to find it out.**

To unknown number:** I'm not interested, thanks. Make me a favor, forget my number and mind your own business.**

And that was the last text message I sent and the last I received. Oh great, the least I needed was to receive more anonymous text messages. Geez, when was all of this finish? I was sick of those things, it reminded me to Freckles and that sucked. I was almost sure it was Amanda the one who was texting me and it irritated me. I wanted to forget Freckles so it was really annoying to keep hearing about her. Well, it was needless to say that I was really moody and Jen noticed it.

_**"Is everything fine, Darren?"**_ She asked curious.

_**"Yeah."**_ I answered curtly while grabbing my backpack.

_**"With who were you texting?"**_ She asked intrigued and I sighed.

_**"No one in particular; wrong number."**_ I lied because I really didn't want to worry Jen with this stupid thing.

_**"I see..."**_ She answered doubtfully; she knew I was lying, she always knew.

_**"I wasn't texting Freckles if that is what you were thinking."**_ I answered looking away and walking to the door as Jen followed me.

_**"Why would you think I was thinking that?"**_ She complained defensive.

_**"You were, I know you."**_ I answered curtly, shrugging.

_**"Well, yes; I were. It's just... You still think about her and it's hurting you and I thought that maybe..."**_

_**"Yes, Jen. I still think about her but I'm aware of what she did, so I'm not that fool to talk to her again. I don't even want to see her again."**_ I interrupted her, moody and frowning, feeling angry. But the truth was that maybe I wanted to see her, but I knew I shouldn't.

_**"Okay, I was just checking. Don't get mad at me."**_ Jen said kind of hurt and I stopped walking to look at her.

_**"I'm not mad at you, Jenny. I'm just mad for all that happened. It'll pass, just gimme time."**_ I said softening my voice now and she nodded.

_**"Hey guys!"**_ Karen exclaimed cheerfully once we left the drama classroom.

_**"Hey."**_ I answered monotonous. I liked the way she was trying to cheer us up, but right in that moment I wasn't in mood to pretend I was fine.

_**"Hi, Karen."**_ Jen greeted with a slight smile.

_**"How are you doing?"**_ She asked just as cheerfully and neither I nor Jen answered. Apparently she felt uncomfortable. _**"Right, stupid question. Let's just pretend I didn't ask it."**_ She said nervously and, over again, neither Jen nor I answered. _**"I was here just to invite you to hang out. I was thinking we could go for lunch and then go to the movies." **_She said happily smiling. When Karen mentioned the movies, inevitably, I thought when I was going to take Freckles to our first date and take her to the movies. I felt very sad but I quickly thought about something else.

_**"Yes, I like that idea."**_ Jen answered forcing a smile.

_**"Good!"**_ Karen exclaimed excited and she looked at me. _**"What about you, Darren?"**_

_**"Uhm... I'll skip this time."**_ I answered looking down. I wouldn't go, I didn't want. _**"I promised my bro that I was going to help him to do something..."**_ I lied, trying to make up a good excuse.

_**"Oh, okay..."**_ Karen answered kind of let down, but I wouldn't change my mind; I really wanted to be alone.

_**"Yeah... Well, I'm already late, so..."**_ I said uncomfortable. _**"See you tomorrow girls. Have a good time."**_

I left and I walked to my house, but I didn't want to come back there. I was sure that now my parents or Chuck were going to start asking what was happening to me or why I wasn't seeing Freckles or why she wasn't coming at my house as usual. I honestly didn't want to talk about this with them; I still didn't want to explain them that we weren't a couple anymore, to explain them why we weren't dating anymore. I wasn't feeling good at all; despite all that she has done, I couldn't stop thinking how bad she could be feeling judging by what Mandy said. Man, I only wanted to keep her out of my mind, but it seemed to be impossible and more after those odd text messages I received. I had to admit that I missed her; not her but what I thought she was; I was feeling empty without her, like I didn't know what to do, nothing could motivate me. I missed her, but I didn't want to see her, so I walked to Marin Headlands, that place that used to be our special place. When I arrived there and I looked around, I realized it was a bad idea to have gone there. That place wasn't cool anymore, I didn't like that place anymore because there was a weird atmosphere now that she wasn't there with me. Everything seemed lonely when it used to be peaceful and amazing. When I arrived that place, I saw all the places where Freckles and I used to sit and talk for hours; no one was there now. I felt nostalgic and crestfallen, and I started thinking what would I be doing if she was still here as the girl I used to know. Boy, this was making me feel even worse, why was I doing this to myself? But I kept walking to go to that place where Freckles and I kissed for the first time. When I was about to arrive, something stopped me abruptly. Freckles was actually there, sitting on the grass against a tree. She was looking fixedly at some random point and she seemed to be thoughtful. And she was with the ukulele I gave to her, holding it but not playing it. I remained staring at her for a while, without being able to move; I didn't want her to see me, but I couldn't do anything. I noticed how she shifted in the place she was sitting and that made me react. Feeling how my heart was beating fast because of my nervousness, I hid quickly behind a tree that was near me, resting my back in the trunk and letting myself to fall slowly in the grass. I started crying with no reason, I didn't even notice that I wanted to cry, tears just started falling down my face. I didn't even turn to look at her again; I just couldn't because I was feeling super bad. The girl I loved was right there and now everything was different, now I couldn't be in the same place than her. The hole in my heart appeared again. I covered my face with my hands to prevent any kind of sound I could make for being crying, she couldn't suspect that someone was there, that I was there. And the crying turned into a very content and silent crying, a muffled crying; it was exasperating, it was heartrending. I tried to calm but it was being hard. Then I had no better idea than poking my head out the trunk and see her. She was now looking at my direction and she saw me. She got very stunned and perplexed and so did I. We stared into each other's eyes in silence and neither of us moved from where we were. She was distant, so I couldn't notice if she was crying as me or not, but I could notice she was pale. My heart was beating really fast and I was feeling terrible. Then she stood up abruptly and started walking right to where I was as I started feeling even more nervous. I hid my head behind the tree again and I closed my eyes, wiping my tears away. She was going to talk to me or something and I wasn't ready to receive more aggression from her; I didn't want to hear more rude things from her; I just wanted to remember her as the girl I used to know; I didn't want to hate her but it was impossible. I heard her steps coming closer, but I didn't move; she was really near and she was going to stop where I was, I knew it; I was starting to get ready to hear her voice again. A voice talked, but it wasn't her voice.

_**"Darren, what are you doing here?"**_ The voice asked and I opened my eyes to see Karen standing in front of me.

I stood up quickly and the first thing I did was to look behind the tree to look at Freckles. She was indeed very close to me, but now she was only standing there as if she was in shock. She was looking at me with a very sad expression on her eyes and then she looked behind me, she surely was looking at Karen now; and when she did it, she looked down. Now that Freckles was closer, I could notice that she didn't look as I remembered her; all the shine that she used to have wasn't there anymore, she was paler than ever and she had dark circles; she truly looked gaunt and haggard, as if she hasn't slept in days. Then I felt how Karen linked an arm around mine and that made me stop looking at Freckles to look at her; when Karen did this, I noticed how Freckles looked at us surreptitiously.

_**"What are you doing here?" **_Karen asked rudely looking at Freckles. Freckles didn't answer, she remained looking down. _**"You've already caused so much pain, so why don't you just leave and stop messing with other people's lives? You're disgusting."**_ Karen said even more rudely and I looked at her frowning. I didn't need her to defend me, and I didn't like the way she was talking, even though I knew she was doing it to help me and I should be thankful for that. _**"Leave, bitch!"**_ She yelled angrily.

But Freckles didn't move, she didn't answer. This was a very odd situation. Freckles didn't seem to be the nasty person she was, she seemed to be sad and... Was she silently crying? What the actual fuck? I couldn't get what was happening.

_**"If you dare to mess with Darren again, I swear I'm gonna beat you, you damn bitch. How could have you been such a heartless and nasty person when Darren was giving you everything? And now you appear to mess with him again. Leave him alone. Can't you see that he doesn't want to see you again because you're a damn whore who broke his heart? Better if you stay away." **_Karen said threateningly and I looked at her frowning.

_**"Stop, Karen."**_ I whispered but I knew that Freckles heard me because she was now looking at me blankly. _**"Just let's go, I don't want to be here near her."**_ I said coldly and Karen nodded.

_**"Die, bitch."**_ Karen said nastily.

Then we turned around to leave Freckles and Karen had to led me, almost force me, to walk away from Freckles. Damn, why was it so hard for me to leave her after all she did to me? I tried not to look back because I knew that if I did it, surely I was going to stand there just to see her a little more.

_**"Darren."**_ I heard Freckles' voice calling me from behind.

Damn, she said my name and my heart skipped a beat as always happened whenever I heard her voice calling me. I stood abruptly when I heard her calling me, but I didn't turn around to see her; instead, I remained looking down, feeling really bad. Damn, I shouldn't have seen her; I shouldn't have heard her voice. Karen tried to force me to walk again, but this time I resisted keeping walking. I unlinked my arm with hers and I finally turned around to look at Freckles; I couldn't help it, I knew it was wrong, but it was Freckles, even though she wasn't the girl I used to know. She was looking at me fixedly with her big eyes; whoa, she was truly haggard. I didn't move, so she walked to me slowly and while she was walking, she drifted her gaze to look at Karen with a weird look; but I didn't mind to look at Karen, I was just looking at Freckles. When Freckles and I were close enough, my body started trembling and I had to look down to try not to remember all the times we were close; because in those times I was used to pull her closer and kiss her soft lips and now it wasn't going to happen.

_**"Darren."**_ She said again in a whisper.

Her voice sounded muffled. That caught my attention and I looked into her eyes; I got lost in her eyes. I don't know why she had sad eyes, why? She should be looking at me in a nasty way like the last time we talked. But no. And that made me feel bad and confused; I just needed to remember all the awful things she has done to me; I needed to remember that she was pretending to be someone she wasn't as she has been doing all this time.

_**"I... I wrote a letter for you."**_ She said with trembling voice and looking for something in her pocket.

I was just looking at her in silence; I couldn't say anything at all. Then she finally pulled out from her pocket a crumpled paper, handing it to me. But I didn't grab it, I just couldn't do anything, I didn't know what was happening to me. She insisted, handing it to me again.

_**"Please, take it. It's important to me." **_She said supplicant with her big and now teary eyes. She seemed to be desperate. I was about to grab it, but then I remembered why I couldn't see her again for all she has done.

_**"I don't want it. I'm not interested in having something that belongs to you, everything of you makes me sick; so you can burn it if you want, but I'm not taking it."**_ I said coldly and then I turned around without looking at her once more time.

I knew I shouldn't see her or I was going to regret what I said because she still had that effect on me. I started walking away from her and Karen followed me. After walking a little, I turned my face to look at Freckles. She was standing there, looking at me with sad eyes but not crying, still holding the letter in her hands. It broke my heart, but I knew I was doing the right thing; I needed desperately to take her off my mind.

_**"You did the right thing, Darren."**_ Karen said softly once we were really away from Freckles. I just stopped abruptly and I looked at her, very serious.

_**"I appreciate all you're doing for me, Karen. But just leave me alone, I want to be alone."**_ I said supplicant and exasperated as she looked at me with eyes wide open.

_**"All right. I'm sorry."**_ She said with trembling voice.

_**"I'm sorry, Karen. I'm a mess right now and I honestly don't want to be with anybody. It's not you, it's me. Sorry."**_ I apologized when I noticed how rude I sounded.

_**"I understand. And if you ever need to talk, just count on me, Darren."**_ She said softly with a slight smile and I smiled at her faintly.

_**"Yeah, thanks."**_ I answered looking down, biting my lower lip. _**"See you tomorrow at school, Karen."**_

I walked away from Karen as fast as I could because I didn't want her to see me crying, because I just couldn't hold back my tears any longer. I walked to nowhere in particular and without noticing it, I was in the Golden Gate Bridge. I just chose a place to sit where nobody was around and there I started shedding those tears. It was painful to see Freckles; and even though I used to think of her lately, I thought I've already overcame these feelings I had for her, but it wasn't like that at all, I was just lying to myself. I spent hours there, crying like a little boy but aware that it was going to be the last time I was going to cry for her, because after that, I was definitely going to forget her; I needed to. When it was already dark, my phone buzzed. Again, the unknown number.

From unknown number: **Criss, you should've taken that letter. It was really important and you have to read it. That letter explained how things actually were. I have it in my hands now, in case you want to read it now.**

To unknown number: **Fuck! Stop harassing me! I don't want any of that, I'm not interested and you and your friend or whoever that girl is for you can go to hell. Stop texting me, goddammit.**

* * *

_**"Hey honey, can I come in?"**_ Your mother said softly from the door of your bedroom.

_**"Yes."**_ You answered curtly because you weren't feeling like talking.

Since you saw Darren in Marin Headlands, everything was going worse. You could understand that he didn't want to talk to you, that he could be mad at you; but you never thought he could reject your letter. That letter was very important and hard to write and now he wouldn't read it and you needed him to read it but that wouldn't happen. So now you were in home and you wouldn't stop crying since the afternoon.

_**"What's wrong, honey?"**_ Your mom asked concerned and softly, sitting on the edge of the bed, caressing your back. You avoided her look; you didn't want her to see you like this.

You already explained her that you've been expelled from school, even before the principal did. Of course you didn't explain the real reasons why you were expelled; you didn't want her to think that you were a bad person. She understood and she believed your lie and that made you feel even worse; you were lying to your own mother. Anyway, she had been very supportive about this, even though you spent most of the days locked in your bedroom, not talking to anybody, not even to Mandy.

_**"Nothing."**_ You answered with cracked voice, trying not to cry anymore now that your mother was there.

_**"I'm your mother; I know when you're lying."**_ She said softly, still rubbing your back. If only she knew that you already lied to her before. _**"Does this have something to do with your boyfriend? It's been a while since the last time he came here or you went to his house."**_ Your mother asked and you tried your best to hold back the tears. Those words hurt.

_**"We're not together anymore."**_ You answered with muffled and teary voice.

_**"Why? You were so fine the last time I saw you together; and after all the lovely things you told me about him. He was a good boy as far as I know about him. What happened?"**_ Your mom asked curious and baffled and you really didn't want to talk about it.

_**"Just... Seems that we couldn't... It didn't work."**_ You answered still with teary voice, making an extraordinary effort not to cry.

_**"Oh honey, I'm so sorry."**_ Your mom said anguished, rubbing your back again reassuringly.

_**"Mom..."**_ You said now looking at her with teary eyes. _**"I've been expelled and Darren and I aren't together anymore, and I... I can't be here anymore, it hurts me."**_

_**"What? What do you want to say?"**_ Your mom asked very worried and confused, looking fixedly at you.

_**"I'm not going through a good moment right now and it seems that it's not gonna get better, no matter how hard I try. I'm not doing fine and I'm a mess, I really need to clear up my mind but I can't while I'm still here, in the same place where all the shitty things happened. I need to go away, just for a while; to see if finally I can get better."**_ You explained desperately looking at her.

_**"What do you mean? Do you want to live with your father?"**_ She asked still confused.

_**"No, mom. I want to go away from San Francisco. I thought that maybe I could go to San Diego or Los Angeles, it's not so far from here and there are some schools where I could go... And if I go to San Diego maybe I could stay with our aunt Hilary..." **_You answered nervously because you knew that your mom didn't like this idea.

_**"No, that's not gonna happen."**_ Your mother refused energetically.

_**"Please, mom, I beg you. Just for a while, I really need it." **_You said now shedding those tears that you were holding back. _**"I love San Francisco and I love living with you and Mandy; but I honestly can't be here because everything reminds me of the bad things that happened and I really tried mom! I tried not to think about it, I tried to get better while being here, but it's been a long time and I still can't get better and I know I won't. I never ask you for anything, but this time I'm begging you to let me do it."**_

_**"It's just a bad moment for you, I understand it. But overcoming these kinds of things is the way you can grow up. I've been a teen too, and I also had those moments when I thought that everything was wrong and it was going to be the end of everything, but eventually things got better. You don't need to go anywhere although you think that is the only way; you won't fix things that way; and eventually, it'll pass, you'll see."**_ Your mother answered quietly.

_**"Mom!"**_ You exclaimed exasperated. _**"It's not something that happened since I've been expelled. I've been doing wrong since years! I've been accumulating lot of things and the fact that I've been expelled and that Darren and I broke up, are only the things that made me explode! Darren was the only one who was making me feel a little better and now he isn't here anymore; so I beg you, please, let me go!"**_ You said desperately, sobbing while your mother was looking at you distressed.

_**"We'll do something."**_ Your mom said sighing and you tried to wipe away your tears. _**"You said that Darren was the only one who could make you feel a little better. I don't know what happened between you both and I won't force you to tell me. But if he makes you happy, then you should talk to him and try to solve things. Love is like that, it's complicated and you have no idea what a talk can do when everything seems lost. Don't be afraid to talk because maybe he wants the same but he doesn't dare to do it and because, after all, it's only a talk, it's not something strange. What I'm trying to say is that if you still love him, you shouldn't give up on the person you love only because of an argument you had; you have to fight for the good things you have."**_ Your mom said quiet while you were looking at her amazed. You never had this kind of talk with your mom and it was weird how open she was about love, about you and Darren. It seemed she really liked Darren. _**"If that talk doesn't work and you still think that you can't be here, you can go to San Diego with your aunt Hilary, just for a few months. But only if you promise to try to solve things here and not give up so easily."**_

_**"I promise; I'll talk to him. But promise me that if it doesn't work you'll truly let me go to San Diego."**_ You said looking fixedly at your mom.

_**"I promise."**_ Your mom said smiling slightly and caressing your long hair as you smiled faintly at her.

_**"Thanks, mom." **_You whispered, hugging her and burying your head on her lap.

Your mom was right, maybe you should try just a little bit harder, all you could do. And well, if it didn't work, she was going to let you go so maybe that way you'll clear your mind and finally get better. So you did what you promised: next day, you went to Darren's house in the afternoon. So now you were standing in his front door, waiting for someone to open you the door.

_**"Hi sweetheart, it's nice to finally see you again."**_ Cerina Criss said with a warm smile. You smiled back at her.

Wow, you missed her; she was like a kind of mother while you were living at Darren's house. And the fact of thinking that if things with Darren go wrong you wouldn't see her again, made you feel sad. But you tried to be positive; you tried to think that this talk was going to work out.

_**"Hi Cerina. It's nice to see you again too."**_ You answered politely, still smiling.

_**"Come on, come in, sweetheart."**_ She said inviting you and you nodded before entering. _**"I was wondering why you haven't come here lately. Darren wouldn't talk about it."**_

_**"Yes... I think we've been busy lately; you know, with the exams and Darren with the prom coming closer... I guess it's that."**_ You lied feeling terrible for that, but you didn't know what to say; apparently she didn't know anything about what happened.

_**"I understand. This part of the year is crazy for everybody."**_ She said giggling softly and you nodded with a faint smile. _**"Well, I won't bug you anymore!"**_ She exclaimed and you tried to answer her that it wasn't a bug, but she interrupted you. _**"I was your age a while back, so I know that the most you want to do now is to see him. Darren it's upstairs, in his bedroom. Lately, he's been locked in his bedroom all the time, maybe if you go there, he finally will leave his bedroom."**_ She said frowning and you looked down, biting your lower lip. Maybe this was your fault. _**"Go there, sweetheart; this is still your home, so feel free. I bet he's gonna be happy to see you around." **_

_**"I hope so."**_ You answered with a faint smile, trying to pretend you were happy to hear that, but the fact was that you weren't sure that he was going to be happy to see you there. _**"I... I'll go there, then."**_ You said shyly.

_**"Yes, yes; go sweetheart. I'll make chocolate milk for you two."**_ She said smiling widely and you smiled shyly.

You went upstairs and when you reached Darren's bedroom, you stayed standing there in front of the closed door for a while. You were really nervous, because you didn't know how he would react once he sees you; you didn't know what he would say and you didn't even know if he would listen to you. You actually didn't know what to say, but you had the letter that you wrote for him there with you. Nervous and trying to calm, you knocked the door.

_**"Come in."**_ You heard Darren's voice yelling from his bedroom and your heart skipped a beat.

He didn't ask who it was, but you opened the door anyway. He was lying in his bed, giving his back to the door, so he didn't see it was you the one who was there. You stood there, too shy to walk in. His bedroom was a mess like the first time you went there and there was a weird smell. Was this really a good idea to have come here to talk to him? Now you were cowering. You looked down and started playing with your fingers because of your nervousness; you didn't know how to start talking.

_**"Mom, what do you want? Just say it." **_He said kind of irritated, still giving you his back.

So, he was thinking that you were Cerina. What would he do when he realizes that it was you? You didn't say anything. Damn, why was this so hard? It wasn't so hard in your mind, but in the real deal was different. You heard how he was shifting in his bed but you didn't look up; shit, your body was trembling.

_**"What the fuck are you doing here?"**_ He asked angry. Definitely, he finally saw you and this wasn't a good start.

* * *

I was having one more of those usual crappy days that I was having since Freckles admitted she was W. I spent the whole day at school without talking to anybody except Jen and Karen, who were trying to distract me with things about prom and shit. I tried to pretend I was excited, but the truth was that nothing was exciting for me in these days. As soon as I finished the day at school, I came back at home and I locked in my bedroom, avoiding talking to any of my family. I knew that sooner or later I was going to have to talk to them and return to normality, but right now; after I saw Freckles with that letter and after I received all of those anonymous text messages trying to convince me that nothing was as it seemed, I wasn't feeling so well. However, last night was the last time I cried for Freckles and it was going to be like that from now on. I was tired of feeling sad because of her, so whatever; she was going to disappear of my mind one way or another. But right when I finally could stop thinking of her, she appeared in my house. She was now standing in my bedroom, without uttering a single word.

_**"What the fuck are you doing here?"**_ I asked rudely when I saw her.

I thought it was my mom the one who was there, but obviously I was wrong. Freckles didn't answer; she remained standing there in silence, looking down, biting her lower lip and playing with her fingers. What before I thought it was cute, now it was irritating for me: it was irritating to see her playing with her fingers. Damn, she was so cheeky and impertinent to have come here as if nothing ever happened. Who the hell did she think she was?

_**"I asked you something, so answer me."**_ I insisted just as rudely, looking at her.

_**"I just wanted to talk to you."**_ She answered in a whisper, still looking down.

_**"You and I have absolutely nothing to talk about. So leave, I don't want to see you."**_ I answered coldly and she finally looked up. She seemed to be distressed but surely she was pretending it, so I ignored it.

_**"Please, let me talk."**_ She said looking at me.

_**"No."**_ I said roundly and harshly. _**"You already talked, you had your chance. I don't know if you already forgot when you tied me and Jen in that room, when you took off your mask and you showed your real personality."**_ I said in disgust. _**"You know? Get out of here, you make me sick."**_ I said harshly and she looked at me with her big and teary eyes. Once again, I ignored it.

_**"Please, Darren. Let me tell you..."**_ She started saying with teary voice but I interrupted her.

_**"I don't want to hear your damn annoying voice; I don't want to see your fucking irritating presence; I don't want you to be in my bedroom, such impudence!"**_ I exclaimed in disbelief. _**"Who do you think you are? Do you think that you can treat me like shit, use me like a toy, cheat on me, throw me and then come back as if nothing has ever happened to talk to me? About what? About how you can shit on me?"**_ I asked angrily while she was frowning and looking at me distressed.

_**"No!"**_ She yelled exasperated and I looked coldly at her.

_**"I'm done with you; I'm done with all your shit. I don't care about you, I don't care what you have to tell me; I just don't care. And you know? Since you're gone, I've never been better."**_ I lied, saying it in the most hideous way I could have said it. She looked down again.

_**"I have something to tell you..."**_ She whispered weakly, still looking down.

_**"Keep it to yourself, goddammit! Can't you understand that I don't want to hear you because I'm not interested?"**_ I asked rudely. _**"Can't you understand that you mean nothing to me, you damn bitch?"**_ I said harshly and she looked up at me with tears in her eyes. Whoa, that was cruel and I felt bad for insulting her; but I didn't want to see her anymore and this was the only way.

_**"Fine."**_ She said with cracked voice and still with tears in her eyes, but not shedding them. _**"If you don't want to talk, is fine. If I mean nothing to you, okay then. I just... I just really want you to read this."**_ She said pulling out the same letter she tried to give me yesterday.

I only looked at it pretending to be indifferent, with a serious and nasty expression on my face. She walked shyly to my bed and I tried to stop her, but I couldn't do it. She only left the letter on my nightstand and then she walked to the door again. She was trying to say something but apparently she couldn't. I looked at the letter. I wanted to read it, but I knew I shouldn't because it wasn't a good idea if what I wanted was to forget her.

_**"I don't want your fucking letter."**_ I said harshly.

So I just grabbed the letter and I crumpled the letter. Freckles looked at me agape and astonished when I did it, but she didn't say anything. So then I threw the crumpled letter in her face. When the crumpled letter hit her face and then it fell on the floor, she looked down and I saw how she finally shed the tears. Oh fuck, I felt terrible. Why the hell did I do it? I wasn't that kind of guy, but the pressure that I was feeling to forget her and this uncomfortable situation for me, led me to do it. However, I didn't apologize.

_**"Get out of my house and never come back."**_ I said rudely, looking away now. She didn't move. She only crouched to grab the crumpled letter.

_**"Hello guys!"**_ My mom said cheerfully entering in the bedroom and the situation turned into an even more uncomfortable situation. _**"I brought chocolate milk for you two." **_

_**"Cool, but she was leaving now, right?"**_ I asked loudly looking fixedly at Freckles. My mom frowned and looked at her. Fortunately Freckles wiped her tears away and she was now only looking down.

_**"Yes, sorry Cerina. I was leaving. So sorry."**_ She answered in a whisper still looking down.

_**"But I thought..."**_ My mom started saying curiously and confused.

_**"She has things to do, so she will leave right now, mom. Do not insist."**_ I said curtly.

_**"Okay, but maybe you can drink these and then she can leave."**_ My mom insisted, not being aware that Freckles and I just had a dispute.

_**"No, she is leaving right now."**_ I replied coldly.

_**"Darren, don't be so ill-mannered."**_ My mom reproached me.

_**"It's alright, Cerina. I really have things to do, maybe another time."**_ Freckles answered still looking down. _**"Bye Cerina, have a good day."**_ She said looking at my mom now with a slight smile and then she looked at me sadly. _**"Goodbye, Darren."**_

Those were the last words I heard from her; that was the last time I saw her. She was gone now; she was gone from my life; this was going to be a real new start without her. It was good... At least is what I tried to convince to myself.

* * *

_WEEKS AGO…_

* * *

Darren and you went separate ways and now you were looking for Mandy. You tried to call her several times but she wouldn't answer. Where could she be? You were very desperate, you needed to talk to her, you needed to tell her what was happening, and your time to find W was running. Then your phone buzzed, it was an incoming call from Mandy.

_**"Mandy! Where are you? I'm looking for you!"**_ You said desperately.

_**"We've got your sister, fat ass. If you want to get her back, come to the empty classroom at the end of the hallway. And come alone, for your own good and for your sister's good."**_ The machine voice of W said and then hung up.

Oh no, crap. You needed to tell Darren, but if you tell him, then he was going to want to go with you and that couldn't happen. At this point, you thought that W was able to do anything. They had Mandy and you needed to go for her, but you were scared. Everybody was already going to the gym and you were still there in the hallway, cornered against a locker, feeling very scared. This was as if you had to walk right to where you knew you were going to be hurt. This was inhuman; no human being would walk or do something knowing that undoubtedly would end up hurt. She was your sister, you needed to go, you needed to stop thinking and feeling scared. You tried to think about something else, otherwise you were going to cower. Once that almost no one was around, you started walking to that classroom, trembling. When you arrived there, you tried to open the door without thinking twice, but the door was locked. At that time you tried to run away because you were literally freaking out, but someone opened the door: Brian. You looked at him really scared and edgy. He also looked at you very serious and he whispered something you barely could hear.

_**"Run away. Now." **_

You looked at him bewildered and you, like a fool, stayed there because you couldn't move. Brian grabbed you by your arm and he repeated the same he said. He seemed to be just as edgy as you. He let out your arm and you tried to turn around to leave, feeling very scared and stunned; but someone grabbed your arm again, this time it wasn't Brian, it was Jim.

_**"Here's the fat ass." **_Jim said with a wickedly smile. You looked at him disturbed and your body started trembling again. Then you looked at Brian, he was looking down and he seemed to be very concerned. _**"Let's go have a talk."**_

And Jim forced you to get in, grabbing your arm strongly. You didn't do anything to stop him, because you were kind of shocked and you barely could understand what was going on. The classroom was dark and you couldn't see your sister there. What if this was a kind of trap? Jim forced you to sit on a chair very rudely and he tied you in that chair. What was happening? Where was your sister? What did they want? You wanted to ask all that, but no word came out from your mouth. Jim now stood in front of you and he kneeled; now he was looking at you with the same wicked smile. You looked at him disturbed and more when he placed a hand on your thigh and started rubbing it. You couldn't do anything to stop it because your hands and legs were tied.

_**"You're changed, fat ass. Even you look kind of hot now."**_ He said perversely while trying to lift your dress, running his fingers on your naked thigh.

You remembered the phone conversation you heard in the bathroom earlier, Jim saying that he could play with your body. And this wasn't going well, what could he do? The most frustrating thing was that you couldn't do anything to protect yourself. Fortunately, when Brian saw all of this, he walked quickly to where you were and he placed a hand on Jim's shoulder.

_**"Hey man, leave her."**_ Brian said firmly but you could notice a hint of nervousness.

_**"What the fuck, dude?"**_ Jim asked in disbelief, now looking at Brian who was now looking at him edgily. _**"Oh, I see. You want her too. Well, we can make a threesome."**_ He said perversely.

_**"I'm not into that."**_ Brian answered serious. _**"Better if you go for you know who. I'll watch her, just in case she tries to escape." **_

_**"Yeah, yeah, right."**_ Jim said frowning and thoughtful. Then he, luckily, stood up. _**"I'll go and if by when I come back she's not here..."**_ He said pointing at you and looking at Brian threateningly. _**"I'm gonna beat you to death, dude."**_

_**"Why won't she be here by when you come back? I'll watch her, told you. Why the need to threaten me, man? I thought we were in the same team."**_ Brian said now coldly.

_**"I don't know, dude. Lately, you've been acting weird."**_ Jim said suspiciously. _**"Whatever, I want to see her here when I come back, clear?"**_

_**"Yeah. Just go."**_ Brian assured firmly.

Jim looked at Brian suspiciously one more time before he turned around and left the classroom. You stayed silent, looking down. Your sister wasn't there and you really needed to know where she was, you couldn't understand who was going to come now, probably Susan. After a while, you noticed that Brian was now standing behind you and he kneeled. He started to untie you.

_**"What are you doing?"**_ You finally asked with trembling voice, trying to turn your head to look at him.

_**"You need to get away from here."**_ Brian answered edgily, still trying to untie you. _**"You don't have much time."**_

_**"No, you can't do that; you heard what Jim said."**_ You said very concerned.

_**"Whatever. I'll think up something to explain why you aren't here."**_ He answered, trying desperately to untie you.

_**"No, Brian, stop!"**_ You said almost yelling, looking at him. _**"Brian, I'm serious."**_

_**"Just, shut up! You need to go, they'll hurt you."**_ Brian said finally untying your hands and now standing up to go in front of you and untie your legs.

_**"Brian, no! I don't care if they hurt me! I need to find my sister, I need to stay!"**_ You said desperately looking at him. He finally stopped doing what he was doing to look at you. You just remained looking at him very concerned and he placed both of his hands on your cheeks.

_**"Your sister isn't here and she's not gonna come. They have her in another place; this was an ambush only to hurt you. So you really need to go away, then I can help you to find your sister; but right now, you have to go."**_ He said looking deeply into your eyes and you looked at him scared. _**"Hit me."**_

_**"What?"**_ You asked bewildered.

_**"Come on, hit me. I'll tell them that you managed to untie and then you hit me before running away. Come on, hit me." **_Brian said moving closer his face so you could hit him.

_**"I'm not gonna do that, Brian."**_ You said serious, looking at him.

_**"Come on, hit me! There's not much time, hit me for fuck's sake!" **_He said very edgily and desperately.

_**"No."**_ You refused strongly and he looked at you troubled and kind of anguished.

_**"Listen, you asked me to help you, you asked me to do certain things I didn't want to do such as keep beating you and treating you like crap. And I've been doing it, right?"**_ He said and you nodded. _**"Well, now I'm asking you to return me the favor. And all I want is you to hit me and to run away from here. Please, do it." **_

_**"Why are you doing this, Brian?"**_ You asked with trembling voice looking deeply into his eyes.

_**"Because I care about you, because I heart you, okay? There, I said it. Now please, hit me!"**_ Brian said also with trembling voice and you were just looking at him puzzled. When he noticed the way you were looking at him, he looked down and sighed. _**"I... I just think you're a good person, please just trust me and hit me. I'm begging you to do it and go." **_He said still looking down.

_**"Don't make me hit you, please; and less after what you said." **_You said whispering trying to look into his green eyes. And when you said this, he looked at you kind of distressed. What was going on with him?

_**"All right."**_ Brian whispered, nodding. _**"I won't force you, I don't want it. I'll hit myself but you have to go, please, at least do it." **_He begged.

_**"What if they beat you after this, Brian? What if they hurt you instead me?"**_ You asked worried. You just couldn't believe he was doing all of this for you.

_**"I've caused so much pain already; you've been already hurt because of my fault. Now I won't let it happen again. I don't care if they hurt me, I'll get better." **_He said softly looking at you straight in the eye. That look was weird. Then he stood up and he gave you his hand. _**"Hurry up, just go and don't look back. Just run."**_

_**"Okay. I... I..."**_ You started babbling, feeling bad for what you were going to do.

You were already standing and you were in front of him, just looking at him as he was looking at you, still holding one of your hands; that was also weird, the way he was holding your hand for the first time. You couldn't say anything, so you just hugged him. He got strained when you hugged him by surprise; maybe he wasn't used at hugs. But then he wrapped his muscular arms around you. You felt so little in his arms, because he was a very tall and muscular guy; but you felt comforted. It was weird, as if you were friends; as if you were friends with the guy who months ago hit you several times. Then he did something weird: he broke the hug to place both of his hands on your cheeks and kiss your forehead. It felt wrong and right at the same time.

_**"Run."**_ He finally said.

You looked at him straight in his eye one more time before you turned around to leave him there. Then was when you felt really bad for leaving him there knowing that they will hurt him because of that; then you felt insecure and as if you were a bad person; so, when you reached the door, you turned around to look at him again. He was looking at you and when he saw you turning around he looked at you with a frightened look. Because he also heard the steps coming closer. They were already here. He quickly ran to you and he forced you to give him your back while he grabbed you strongly by your arms, pretending that he was kind of kidnapping you.

_**"It's too late."**_ He whispered in your ear distressed. _**"But don't worry, as long as you stay with me, they won't hurt you. I promise. But I'll have to pretend I'm on their side."**_ He whispered still distressed and you nodded. Your heart started beating faster and your body started trembling again. _**"Relax, I won't let them hurt you."**_ He whispered softly when he noticed you were scared.

The door was opened and you were expecting to see Susan, but it was only Jim. He looked at Brian suspiciously, walking to him.

_**"What's going on here?"**_ He asked dubiously.

_**"She needed to go pee."**_ Brian simply answered. You were just looking down, feeling too scared to make eye contact. _**"So we were just coming back."**_

_**"Right..."**_ Jim said still suspiciously. _**"And she peed in front of you..."**_

_**"Yeah, she did. I told you I was going to watch her."**_ Brian answered coldly, defensive. _**"Come on; help me to tie her again. She's kind of rowdy and unruly." **_

_**"Yes..."**_ Jim said still suspicious and he took you by the arm rudely.

_**"Hey!"**_ Brian yelled as an instinct and Jim looked at him menacingly. Brian noticed he screwed it, so he tried to fix it. _**"Watch out, she can escape." **_

_**"Don't worry, dude. This bitch won't go anywhere." **_He said laughing evilly and he forced you to sit on the chair again as he tied you. Brian was all the time checking if Jim wasn't hurting you too much. Then Jim stood in front of you. _**"Well, well, pimple face. You'll meet W in person. Are you ready?"**_ He said looking at you archly. You tried to look at him blankly, but you were freaking out and your heart was about to explode. _**"Everything is safe, you can come in!"**_ Jim yelled in the direction of the door.

You saw how someone was opening the door and you knew it was Susan, but still you were scared. Brian walked just to be next to you and surreptitiously he placed a hand on your shoulder to squeeze it and reassure you. Jim was smiling evilly looking at the door. When the person came in, you got stunned and agape. No, no, no; it couldn't be true.

_**"You?"**_ You asked in shock, looking at that person very astonished.

_**"Yes; me, bitch."**_ Karen answered with an archly smile.

_**"But... but... you... you're one of the best friends of Darren."**_ You stammered feeling completely confused and stunned.

_**"But... but... but..."**_ She made fun of you, imitating you. _**"There are a lot of things you don't know about me and Darren, whore."**_ She said closing the door and walking to you.

_**"Why? I just don't get it."**_ You said with trembling voice, feeling very bemused.

_**"Oh, you're surprised, bitch."**_ She said laughing wickedly. _**"I'll tell you a story..."**_ She said now standing in front of you and looking at you contemptuously. _**"Once upon a time, Darren and I were a couple." **_She started saying. Yes, you already knew it, but you didn't say anything. _**"We were fine, until one day he dumped me. And you know, no man can dump me and less if it's for lame excuses. You're not what I want, we should be just friends."**_ She said imitating Darren's voice, of course in a derogatory way_**. "I was willing to do whatever to make him fall for me again. It wasn't working and that was irritating me. He was trying to get away from me, he was starting to have new friends, he wanted to forget me and that wasn't part of my plan."**_ She said bitterly and you were just frowning, not getting what this had to do with this macabre game she was doing. _**"I needed to revenge this; but the revenge wasn't this game I started in the beginning of the year. Oh, no, that revenge was more innocent. I was going to show him I was the best option; I was an innocent girl that time. Yes, I started showing it at the end of last year, and he was falling; but someone decided to mess."**_ She said looking at you really furious. What the hell? Why was she looking at you that way now as if you were the guilty?_** "Yes, don't play the victim here. You know you were the one who decided to mess." **_

_**"I don't know what you're talking about... I didn't know Darren last year."**_ You said frowning, really confused.

_**"Oh, you did, you bitch."**_ She said nastily and furiously. _**"Yes, you never talked to him, but you did know him, you fucking stalker."**_ She said rudely and you just looked down, still frowning. _**"Yeah, you remember it, don't you?"**_ Karen said laughing bitterly. _**"Darren doesn't remember it because... Who could remember an unnoticeable whore like you? But you do remember, I'm sure."**_ She said bitterly again and you remained looking down. Yes, you remembered it; the first time you saw him. _**"You were all the time looking at him like an idiot and like a slut, wanting to have him. You were all the time eye-fucking him. I didn't care about it because you were only a loser, an ugly and fat bitch; so Darren was never going to notice you."**_ Karen said in a very derogatory way and you started to feel bad like in the beginning of the year. You thought you overcame it, but her words were just hurtful. _**"Until that day... I was about to get the shit done with Darren, he was going to be mine again. But you had to appear. You remember what you did when someone who graduated last year insulted you because you deserved it as the loser you are, don't you remember?"**_ She asked with an ironic sweet voice. _**"Yes, you do. You cried like a baby and Darren was near you. When I was about to kiss him, he interrupted me to walk to you. You fucked up it. Because he went to talk to you. Yes, when you saw it was him the one who was trying to talk to you, you ran away as a fucking coward. But you fucked it because, of course, you had to say something really stupid."**_ She said disgusted and very angry. _**"You told him: I'm just tired of being surrounded by people who make me believe I want something I don't want, and only because I realized it, I have to stand this."**_ She said imitating your voice in a derogatory way. You were just looking at her in disbelief, you couldn't believe she knew about it and she remembered it. _**"Yes, it was all you said and it changed everything, you damn hooker. Since that time Darren started doubting about me, he realized he didn't want to be with me and that is when everything went to hell. Thanks to you, fat ass." **_She said nastily.

_**"That has no sense; you're the stupid who thinks it's like that."**_ You said kind of upset now.

Because if this was the reason why she planned this macabre game, it was a stupid reason because you weren't guilty. You knew you shouldn't have said it, and you realized it when she looked at you very angry and she slapped you with all her fury.

_**"Hey."**_ Brian exclaimed almost in a whisper, again as an instinct. He, again, realized he shouldn't have said it because both Karen and Jim looked at him suspiciously. So Brian looked at you rabidly. _**"Shut the fuck up, bitch. You treat Karen like that again, and you can consider yourself as dead person."**_ He said menacingly.

_**"Well said, Brian."**_ Karen said smiling, rubbing Brian's back and he nodded and looked away, frowning. When Karen looked away, Brian looked at you and he moved his lips without uttering a word, muttering 'I'm sorry'. _**"Whatever."**_ Karen said sighing in a snotty-nosed way, raising an eyebrow, haughty. _**"The point is that this year things got worse. I can't believe Darren decided to be your friend, goddamn."**_

_**"You can't decide how to feel about someone; you just feel it in your heart. Hence, he didn't decide, he felt it; something you couldn't get with him because you forced him."**_ You said challenging.

Where was the fear you were feeling minutes before? Why were you answering like this if you knew this wasn't going to end up in a good way? You knew the answer: Karen was the one who has been messing with you all this time, she was the one who made you go through crappy situations, she was the one who made you feel like shit all this time; and she was the one who has messed with all the people you loved. And finally you knew who W was. It was normal to feel upset. Yes, you knew she was going to slap you now, but you didn't care. She has already hurt you way too much and emotionally, so a physical aggression such as a slap didn't mean anything at all for you now. Karen attempted to slap you again, but Brian placed his hands on her shoulders to prevent her to hit you. You looked at Brian and he tried to avoid your gaze, so it wouldn't be so evidently that he was helping you, or at least that was what you thought.

_**"Don't get mad right now."**_ Brian told to Karen and Karen looked at him frowning. _**"First finish telling this bitch why you did it all, then you can do what you want; but the bitch needs to hear the complete story."**_ Brian said in a derogatory way and Karen raised an eyebrow and nodded. One more time, Brian looked at you and muttered 'sorry'.

_**"You're right, Brian."**_ She said presumptuously and then she looked at you again. _**"As I was saying before you interrupted me; you and Darren became friends and then the fool of Darren fell in love with you, fucking loser. It was so disgusting." **_She said displeased, making a gross expression. _**"And it got me nuts. I couldn't believe that the asshole of Darren changed me for you. I couldn't let it be like that, I was feeling so humiliated and no one can make me feel like that. You deserve the worst, damn whore. You, a loser and ugly bitch, won't make me feel less than you; it's not right to mess with me. And Darren? That dickhead deserves the worst too, for making me look like a jerk. So I wasn't going to stay idly, oh no. I needed to destroy you as you both destroyed my dignity and pride. And why W? Because of all of us. We are a team of many people that wanted to destroy you."**_ Karen said nastily, looking archly at you.

_**"You have serious psychological problems."**_ You said looking at her in disbelief and disgruntled.

_**"What did you say, fat ass?"**_ She asked in a rage, walking closer to you and tugging your hair now.

_**"I said you're sick."**_ You repeated challenging.

You noticed how Brian closed his eyes and then he looked down as if he was letting you know that you were saying the wrong things, but you didn't care; you needed to say it because it was the truth. Karen tugged your hair strongly as she also slapped you. It was painful, but you could bear that, because the way she hurt you before was even more painful.

_**"Stop it."**_ Brian finally said loudly and Karen and Brian looked at him suspiciously. _**"Do not stoop to her level, Karen. You're much more than her, so leave her." **_Brian said frowning and serious. Karen looked at him raising an eyebrow but she finally left you in peace.

_**"That is right."**_ Karen said arrogantly looking away. Oh wow, you needed to thank Brian a lot for all he was doing to protect you, risking his own sake. _**"Alright... I guess you already realized who the winner of this game is. The time is almost over and Darren will never find me, he still thinks that Susan is W only because you made him think so. Oh yeah, I knew about your plan with Darren. I didn't believe a damn shit that thing that you broke up; please bitch, I'm not a fool."**_ She said laughing sarcastically. _**"Anyway, the point is that I won but the game isn't over actually. You have to do a last thing, so everything will be over and my plan will be complete."**_ She said mysteriously, smiling evilly. Something wasn't good of this, you still didn't know what.

_**"What makes you think that I'm gonna do something for you?"**_ You asked coldly.

_**"Oh, we will see."**_ She said mysteriously again and then she looked at Jim. _**"Jim, please, the video."**_

_**"Yes, right."**_ Jim said and he walked away. In that time you and Karen looked at each other furiously.

Jim put a video on the TV that was in the classroom. It was in a crappy definition and you barely could see what it was. Why was she showing a video anyway? What did it have to do with this? Then you figured it out.

_**"Can you see who it is?"**_ Karen asked perversely. Of course you could and you started feeling scared. _**"Oh yeah, your sister Amanda, the bitch who betrayed me to protect you. Ugh." **_She exclaimed disgusted. _**"Whatever. Can you see? She's tied just like you, in another place and I'm not telling you where that place is. The only thing I'm gonna tell you is that someone is with her and is waiting for my order to set her free or to hurt her, everything depending on your decision of doing what I say or not."**_

_**"What do you want?"**_ You asked coldly, looking at your sister. Evidently, that person already hit her, because she seemed to be unconscious.

_**"Hey, no, wait! Don't be so impatient!"**_ Karen exclaimed laughing. _**"Do you think that we only have your sister? Oh, no." **_She said smiling archly. Apparently, Jim now pressed the fast forward button and then stopped it. You saw it and you started feeling even more scared. _**"You recognize that person, don't you? Your sweet mommy. She seems to be very quiet in her home. What she doesn't know is that someone is watching her, also waiting for my order. And if your mommy decides to get out from home, the person who is there is gonna catch her and hurt her. You wouldn't like it, would you?" **_She said with a fake sweet voice.

_**"Tell me what you want, Karen."**_ You said angrily, but inside you were very edgy.

_**"Hold on! We're watching a video, let's enjoy it."**_ She said laughing viciously and you looked at her astonished. How could she be so cruel? _**"The next, Jim." **_Karen demanded and Jim pressed the fast forward button again. _**"Oh, look at that! The Criss family!"**_ Karen exclaimed while watching the video. There was Cerina, Bill and Chuck in their home, just talking in the living room. _**"They gave you a place to live when you were homeless; they're like your family too. Would you let them suffer? Because one of the people on my team is there, also waiting for my order. Everything is planned, and I assure they will suffer. Poor Criss, imagine if he finds out that his family is suffering and he can't do anything because this depends on you; he'd be broken. Would you let Darren and his family suffer? Really?"**_

_**"Stop it, what do you want for fuck's sake?"**_ You asked edgily and coldly and Karen smiled viciously.

_**"Wait, there's someone else you need to see."**_ She said wickedly as Jim pressed the fast forward button again. _**"Can you see him? Do you remember him?"**_ She asked and you watched it. Then you looked at Karen stunned again. _**"He's Joe, Jennifer's little cousin. Well, look at him, playing at the park. What would happen if a stranger walks to him and kidnap him? Because right there, the stranger is one of the people of my team. Would you let her mother suffer because someone kidnapped his son? Would you let Jennifer suffer because his little cousin is missing? Would you let a little and innocent boy suffer because of your decision? Think about it, pimple face."**_

_**"He's only four years old, Karen."**_ You said looking at her in disbelief and terrified. _**"How could you hurt a little boy? How? Are you that heartless?" **_

_**"I'm not the one who's gonna hurt him. You're gonna be the one who's gonna hurt him, because everything is up to you; you're the one who can decide if he's gonna suffer or not, everything depends on you."**_ She said looking at you viciously and apparently amused.

_**"You're so flint-hearted. How can you do all the things you do without feeling remorseful? How can you want to see someone suffering? How?"**_ You asked in disbelief with trembling voice.

_**"I told you bitch, no one messes with me. Besides I'm not the one who's gonna hurt them, it's gonna be you; I already told you so too."**_ Karen answered ruthlessly, looking into your eyes and raising an eyebrow. _**"So, what do you think now? Are you gonna do what I say or not?"**_

_**"What the fuck do you want, Karen?"**_ You asked rudely because you were feeling upset and incredulous because of her cruelty.

_**"First I want to show you something else. Jim, turn on the TV that shows the hidden Camera." **_Karen demanded bossy and Jim nodded, turning it on. Your heart started beating fast and you started feeling really bad when you saw Darren and Jen lying on the floor, tied, unconscious. You looked at it really horrified and then you looked at Karen again. _**"Look at them, so helpless. It was so easy to catch them. Susan caught Jennifer and Dean caught Darren. You should have seen it, Darren and Jennifer trying to fight in the darkness, in middle of a chaos. Now Susan and Dean are watching them. They also have an order to hurt them if you don't do what I say. Would you want to see your best friend Jenny suffering? Would you like to see your lover, Darren, suffering because of your fault? Would you want to watch how Dean and Susan beat them if you don't do what I say?"**_

_**"They're your friends, Karen."**_ You said with trembling voice, feeling very edgy and worried.

_**"It's been awhile since they're no longer my friends; since you appeared and fucked up everything. So, I don't mind to see them suffering as they deserve."**_ Karen said heartlessly. _**"So, I'm gonna tell you what I want you to do, then you can decide if you're willing to do it or not." **_She said coldly and roughly. _**"I want you to go to that room and tell Darren that you're W, that all this time you were pretending to be someone you weren't. I want you to tell them that Amanda was always a good sister to you, that Jim is your best friend, and that Brian is your real boyfriend. I want you to tell Darren that all this time you pretended to be his girlfriend it was torture for you. I want you to tell Darren that you love him and then laugh about it. I want you to tell Darren that Peter and Alexandra were people you didn't know but they wanted to revenge for something that Darren has done, last year; that Dean was on your side because he was jealous of Darren; that your parents aren't your real parents. I want you to tell him that you pretended to have lost your memory to make the plan even more believable. I want you to make him feel used and really down. You're W. After all you're an actress; you can make him believe it."**_ Karen said nastily and you were looking at her in shock. She couldn't be asking you to do it, you couldn't do it. _**"And surely he's gonna ask why you did it all. You need to invent a story. Darren, last year, met a little girl in the EB Games store, he told me that story; the girl was lost and was looking for her parents and Darren didn't help her; the girl followed him and he gave her his umbrella and left her alone to wait for her parents because he was having a pretty shitty day and didn't want to talk to anybody, he felt bad for it. And it's funny because the girl had those awful freckles just like you. Her name was Amy. You need to tell him that Amy was your sister and when he left her alone, someone kidnapped her and killed her. You need to make him feel guilty for this that happened. You need to tell him that you planned this game to revenge it; for that you're W."**_ Karen said perversely and you were just looking at her in disbelief, feeling terrible and troubled. _**"So, are you gonna tell them that you're W or are you gonna let suffer all the people you love and the people that Darren and Jen love?" **_She asked archly and you looked at her really bewildered. You didn't answer. _**"I'll give you time to think alone, it's an important decision the one you have to take, a lot of people's safety is in risk. So, we'll let you think and we'll come back in a few minutes."**_ Karen said smiling evilly. _**"Brian, you stay here and watch her." **_Karen demanded bossy and Brian nodded. _**"Jim, let's go?"**_ She asked and Jim nodded. The two of them walked to the door and before leaving, she looked at you. _**"We'll be right here, so there's no way you can escape, bitch."**_

Like that, she and Jim got out and closed the door behind them. You stayed silent, in shock and very troubled. You honestly didn't know what to do; one way or another you were going to hurt Darren. If you choose to not tell Darren that you were W; then Karen and all of her followers were going to hurt your sister, your mom, Darren's family and Joe; and they were innocent, they didn't deserve to suffer because of your fault, and Darren and Jen were going to feel really bad to see that the people they loved were hurt; and if they come to realize that you could have prevented it and you did nothing, they were going to hate you, they were going to feel disappointed of you. You couldn't let them all suffer, and more knowing that you could prevent it. But, on the other side, if you choose to tell Darren that you were W, then he would hate you, then he wouldn't want to see you again, then he'd feel broken and you'd lose him forever. And you couldn't be without Darren, because he was everything for you. Oh damn, you were fucked up. Neither of the options was good; and you were forced to choose something. You were feeling really bad and now that Karen and Jim weren't there, you started sobbing in silence. You couldn't do it; you weren't strong enough to choose something.

_**"Don't do it."**_ Brian suddenly said softly, rubbing your back. You didn't look at him and you remained weeping in silence. _**"If you tell them that you're W, then Karen's plan will work out and you'll be completely alone; your friends won't be your friends anymore and you'll be alone again; the principal might expel you and all the people in school will know it and they're gonna hate you. Don't do it."**_

_**"I need to do it, Brian."**_ You said after a while, with teary voice; now looking at him hopelessly. _**"I can't let all the people suffer because of my fault. They're important to me, Brian."**_

_**"But you are important too."**_ He whispered, now kneeling in front of you and placing his hands on your shoulders. _**"You don't deserve to suffer what you're gonna suffer because you are gonna lie and say you're W. No, you don't deserve to suffer."**_ He said kind of anguished looking at you.

_**"If I tell Darren, I'm gonna be the only one who's gonna suffer. And if I don't tell him, a lot of people will suffer; including myself because I wouldn't stand the idea that I could have prevented it and did nothing. Can you see why I have to do it?"**_ You said looking at him desperately, with teary eyes and cracked voice.

_**"Please, you have to think about yourself; you're all the time thinking about others, and what about you? Please."**_ Brian begged afflicted. _**"Don't do it." **_He insisted.

_**"I have to. I can't be selfish, I love those people."**_ You said strongly, but still feeling terrible. Brian sighed and looked down; he couldn't change your mind. He looked up to you again.

_**"You're a really good person; I wish I could have done more to help you."**_ He said distressed and you looked at him deeply into his green eyes.

_**"You've done a lot, Brian. I understand you weren't able to do much; and thank you a lot for stopping Karen when she wanted to hit me."**_ You said really thankful, but Brian was still looking at you distressed. Wow, this guy wasn't a bad guy. _**"But you're not gonna change my mind, Brian; I'm sorry. I need to do it." **_You said softly and he nodded after a while.

_**"All right. But you need to know what's going to happen because you'll have to face it."**_ Brian said concerned and you looked down, you didn't want to hear it, because you didn't want to think about it, but you didn't say anything. _**"Darren is gonna hate you. I do know you care about him, so is gonna be hard for you to see him looking at you in a cold way. He's not gonna talk to you never again, because he'll think you betrayed him. You'll feel broken for this. But I want you to keep in mind something."**_ Brian said looking intensely into your eyes. Wow, his eyes were really piercing. _**"You'll feel alone, but you're not gonna be alone. After this, I'm gonna be out of this stupid thing, no matter what Karen is gonna do with me, I'm gonna stand by you. And you'll have your sister as well. Yes, you won't have Jennifer and Darren; but you're not gonna be alone."**_ Brian said very firmly and you started sobbing again. You were surprised by the fact he was going to be with you, but you were also really sad because you were going to lose Jen and Darren. _**"But most importantly, remember always that at the end, good people win. You have a gold heart, so I believe that at the end, Darren, Jen and you will be together again; they'll know the truth. I don't know how long it'll take, but it'll happen eventually. You will need to be strong because it'll be a hard time; but keep being the amazing person you are. Good people always win eventually; remember that and then nothing and nobody will be able to bring you down. Okay?"**_ Brian said still looking intensely into your eyes. You looked at him amazed and agape. Was this Brian telling you all that? Wow. Just wow.

_**"Okay."**_ You answered shyly because you were speechless. Then you smiled faintly at him. _**"Thank you, a lot."**_ You said looking at him and he was about to tell you something judging by his weird look.

_**"Okay, bitch. You've had enough time."**_ Karen said entering into the room and interrupting you.

Brian stood up quickly and nervously, but then he looked at you and muttered 'Stay strong, I'm right here.' He muttered it and you let out a tear. Certainly that made you feel a bit better, knowing that at least you had someone. And those words meant a lot to you now that you were alone.

_**"What's your decision, fat ass?"**_ Karen asked impatiently and rudely.

_**"I'm telling Darren that I'm W. But first I want to see that you're gonna let all those people in peace."**_ You said firmly.

_**"Oh no, bitch, I'm not a fool. I'm not gonna do it until I'm sure you told Darren that you're W."**_ Karen said raising an eyebrow and crossing her arms.

_**"And I'm not that fool to tell Darren that I'm W and then believe that you're gonna set them free. It's the same."**_ You said challenging; but you needed to make sure she was going to keep her word. Karen looked at you thoughtful and then she grabbed a phone.

_**"Hey Susan. She's gonna do it. Can you tell everybody not to hurt them? But don't let them free yet. I'll call you again once she does it; then you all have to set them free."**_ Karen said talking on the phone. So Susan was one of the people who were there with one of the people you loved. Then she hung up and looked at you. _**"There, now you go and do it."**_ She said rudely and you nodded. _**"I'll be watching you here, so I'll know if you truly say him all I told you to say or not. Be careful of what you say, remember that people are in risk." **_

They untied you and you finally walked to the room where Darren and Jen were. You knew this was going to be the end of everything, but it was for the good of everyone. Before entering in the room and telling Darren that you were W, your heart started beating fast, your body was trembling and you shed tears of sadness. You were going to lose the guy you loved.


	29. Hold on

A/N: Okay guys, I'm very sleepy so maybe I'll make this short, maybe not; so, if you read silly and nonsense things, you already know which the reason is. Well, the next chapter is gonna be the last one... of this first part. Yes, some of you told me that you wanted to keep reading the college and professional life part, so I'll keep posting more chapters. Then, what else? Oh yeah! I won't be able to post a new chapter before Valentine's Day, so I wanted to wish you a pretty good one; my imaginary date is gonna be Darren; what's gonna be yours? Well, then, as always, I want to thank you all for the reviews. Well, now you know who W is! Now you finally know what really happened. Now you'll know what's going to happen between Darren and Freckles. And yeah, Darren still doesn't know how things are, so what's going to happen? Find it out with this chapter! I should really stop now. I'll answer your reviews now.

alicegursk: You love me again? Yes? Blanket? I've been sleeping on the couch all of this days and I'm cold! Did you really suspect about Karen? I tried to be cautious about it; sometimes I thought I was too obvious, sometimes not. Whatever, I'm sleepy and I know I have to sleep on the couch again and that makes me sad. I'm sorry I made you cry again, you won't cry with this chapter... or yes.

zahra auob: Zahra! I know, now that you mentioned that, you're right; it's sad that she had to go through that alone, but she had Mandy and Brian at least. I have an interesting story to develop about Brian; yes, I always planned him to be a good but complicated guy. And Karen, yes, I never imagined her as nice person either, but I needed to make her look as if she was a good friend at parts and also make her look like a bad person but not make it obvious so you won't suspect of her so easily. I think I'm confusing you instead explaining clearly what I thought.

MeMi83: Yes! Karen is the real W. Yes, I planned it since the beginning and it was hard to try to make her see like a good person and like a bad person sometimes, I didn't want you to suspect of her since the beginning! All this time, all I always tried was to make you think about other options except her: Brian, Jim, Susan, Mandy, Freckles and other random people; just to try to make it a bit more interesting! Thank you a lot for what you said. And well, I decided I'll keep posting more chapters that take place at college and professional life!

vicky: Okay, I'll keep posting chapters that take place at college and professional life, then! Yes, Karen is a cruel person as you said and her plan worked as the way she wanted. Maybe the truth will be out and Darren will find out how things are, eventually. And well, Freckles' mom promised her she could go to San Diego if the talk with Darren didn't work out; and it didn't work out, right? So yes, she's going to San Diego; let's see what happens after that!

Kaylacriss332: Now I'll write a chapter in your honor, in which Joe will be Voldy, Darren will be Potter and Freckles will be the horcrux, and that is when AVPM started as an idea. I'll do it. Don't be sorry for that, I loved the way you said it all and you seemed to be very excited!

Mockingjay-Potterhead-9: You went skiing! I always wanted to do that, but in my city it doesn't snow, so sad! Anyway, I think I'd suck, as I suck at everything related to sports, haha. I hope you had a totally awesome time, though! And okay, I'll keep posting more chapters that take place at college and professional life! I wish I'm taking the right option!

caarolineboeira1: Yes I was back and I'm back again! Yes, of course Freckles isn't W, I just wanted to scare you a little, but no way I could really make her a total bitch! haha... But Karen is! And aww, thank you a lot for what you said! I know the last chapters didn't have so much sense and everything was a mess, but I wanted to keep the suspense and confusion for a bit. At first I didn't write it in the way you read it; I asked to myself: What if I keep the explanation of why Freckles did what she did for later? And so I re-wrote the last 3 chapters. So this is what I could do! Okay, I won't end the story in high school because I don't want to die because you had to tear my heart off! The life after death, I've never thought about it before, it could be something interesting and maybe creepy, they as ghosts. And damn hell, I need that Men of McKinley calendar! It was so hot! But I guess I'll only keep December and January, maybe you know why! And the last one... He sleeping and sick... so cute, huh?

Guest: Yes, I know, when I wrote it (Darren throwing the letter to her face) I thought it was really cruel and something that people sometimes do when they're acting by instinct and not thinking about our actions. And it was indeed because he's feeling sad and confused about what happened; because for him, she's still W and she betrayed him; even if he loves her. And of course, I don't think Darren is like that in real life, I guess I'm just creating a new fictional Darren! You never thought about Karen? Well, I tried to not make it obvious! I wanted to surprise you, somehow! She's sick, yeah, and she could also have other problems behind all of this. And yes, Freckles has suffered a lot already and is sad for me too; and maybe Darren will know the truth, then you'll have to wait to see what happens right after that!

Vcriss: haha I guess I always tend to overthink things and think about all the possibilities always! Not your fault, it was my stupid mind! haha. I should really think about another plotline, right now I don't have so many ideas; but maybe someday I'll think about something random and I'm gonna write another story!

SamCollins: I'll keep calling like this even if I know your name; and I'll keep calling you Sherlock despite everything. So get used at it! And you know I'll recognize you, I'll even scream your name, remember? Red Vines! Butter Beer! Hogwarts! Let's meet the Sorty and the Scarfy and let's get a Zac Efron poster! Is there any other better way to celebrate it? And I totally get the frustration of the 140 characters of 'twittah', such a pain in the ass! I can't believe I defeated you, Sherlock! Does it mean I'm a good Moriarty? Yay! Yeah, I think she must be sick, and also other things... Yes, maybe other things. I also think it's stupid that you can bully a person because of those reasons, but each person is a different world! (silly mode, sleepy mode.) Yes, I think I'd have slapped Darren or whoever who treated me that way! But Freckles, sigh, she is a special person, I think. Aww, and I loved speaking with you as well! As you can notice, sometimes I'm on Twitter, sometimes I'm not, and sometimes I don't check my mentions as it happens most of the time only because something popped in my mind and wanted to tweet that random thing. But I'll try to be online more often so we can talk more and know what else we have in common! And you won't make me sing! Geez, you'll freak out if you hear me singing. But I loved the idea of singing AVMP anyway! Have I really made you fall for Brian? OMG! I can't believe I did that! Is this a kind of victory? I'm not sure if I posted a picture of someone who could look like Brian, and if I did, I can't remember either! And mmm, Joe Walker, sexy as hell! And he has feelings for Freckles? I don't know; well, I do know but won't say anything because I'm a cruel biaaaatch! haha.

Ginny Zoey: Were you scared to read this new chapter? I'm glad you decided to read it! Now you know how things are and now you know that Karen is W and not Freckles! Yes, I know this is depressing because the relationship between Darren and Freckles is kinda screwed... But new things will happen! And maybe, sooner or later, the truth will be out and he's gonna find out everything! Aww I loved your idea of what would happen once Freckles is in San Diego! Maybe something like that will happen in the future, but I won't tell you because I don't wanna screw it. And Brian! Maybe he's in love with Freckles, or maybe he only appreciate her; but he's a good guy for sure. Ah! The love triangle! I always wanted to write something about that because it's kinda interesting! But... I don't know! Can't say too much! haha. And don't worry about long comments, I love them!

SkittlesPanda: Yeah! I want to yell it to Darren too: Read the damn letter, Darren! Aww, I'm sorry I'm breaking your heart too much, but trust me, I do believe in happy endings! ;) So don't worry too much; I'm a hopeless romantic and dramatic girl at heart. And I hope I can still making you feel real feelings while reading this story; that would be like a huge accomplishment to me!

Nicole: Hi Nicole! First of all, welcome! I'm so glad that you started reading this story; it makes me really happy and more knowing that you're enjoying it! Thank you very much! I hope you can keep reading this, it'd be very nice! So, here you have a new update and you'll keep having them every Saturday/Friday (depending where you live).

So that is it all, guys! I won't say anything else because my mind is like dying and can't think about anything! So, I'll let your read this new chapter and I'll go to sleep! Oh, my cozy bed is waiting for me; like, where are you, bed? Oh, there you are; I've been looking for you forever. Okay, enough with my insanity. I hope you can enjoy this chapter! I wish you all a totally awesome week! Warm fuzzies and until next Saturday!

* * *

**Teenage Dream – Part 29 – Hold on.**

* * *

You were in your house, packing all your stuff to leave San Francisco, as your mother has promised you. You knew you were making the right decision, because you wanted to be away from this place, away from all the people who hurt you, away from all the people you loved and you lost, away from all the bad; at least for a while. Your sister was against this decision, but eventually she understood you and she supported you. Now you were packing your last things while Brian was there, reading the letter you wrote for Darren, in silence. Brian was one of the people who helped you the most to go through this situation and it was crazy, but he was like a friend for you now. You already explained him that you were leaving San Francisco and also you explained him all that happened with Darren and how he refused to read that letter in which you explained how things really were, all that W forced you to do. Of course you didn't wrote that Karen was W, because you wanted to tell that to Darren in person, but it never happened. The letter was pointless now, so you didn't mind to show it to Brian. When you finally finished, you looked at Brian, who was sitting in your bed. You noticed that he already finished reading the letter and he was looking sadly how you were packing your stuff.

_**"Please, don't leave for this."**_ Brian said anguished.

_**"Sorry, Brian. I already made the decision and this is the best for me. You always told me to do things for myself, so that is what I'm doing now." **_You answered while placing your baggage on the floor next to the door of your bedroom.

_**"Yes, but not this."**_ Brian said sighing and looking down. _**"You love San Francisco; you shouldn't go only because things are going wrong. And less you should go only because Darren is reluctant to talk." **_

_**"It's not only that. Brian, Darren... Darren was like the world to me, he changed me and when I lost him... I felt as if I lost everything. And now, seeing him ignoring me and hating on me, it just hurts. And it hurts to see him all the time with Karen, the person who betrayed him. I feel so impotent because he wouldn't listen to me; I tried but it didn't work. And I'm weak and I'm suffering. I just need time to be alone and away from all of this, to get better, to really get better. So that is it all."**_ You answered sounding surer than ever.

_**"You should hold on here a little more. Maybe Darren will soon want to talk to you and if you aren't here by that time, you're gonna lose that chance." **_Brian said trying to convince you, but it wouldn't work.

_**"If he ever really wants to talk to me, he'll wait; I know he will. But that's not gonna happen any soon, so in the meantime I'll be in San Diego, trying to start again, trying to remember which my dreams were before Karen screwed them all."**_ You answered quiet, with a faint and bitter smile.

_**"But... What if Darren suddenly wants to talk to you for example... tomorrow night? You won't be here by then."**_ Brian said convincingly, but again, it wouldn't work.

_**"Well, if he wants to talk to me tomorrow night, better if his anxiety wins him, so he would talk to me in the morning."**_ You laughed trying to make a joke to break with the tense situation.

_**"Is there something that can make change your mind?"**_ Brian asked distressed, looking at you and you smiled slightly, walking to him and sitting next to him.

_**"Sorry, Brian. But no."**_ You answered, placing your hand on his shoulder. He looked at you anguished and then he placed his hand above yours.

_**"Can I at least go to San Diego and visit you, then? It's not that you'll go only for a few days, you're going there for like five months." **_Brian said in a whisper and you giggled.

_**"Of course you can."**_ You said looking at him friendly. How come this guy became your friend? It was weird but definitely good.

_**"Good."**_ He said smiling friendly. _**"But... For example... If Darren decides to talk to you tomorrow morning and you talk to him and you clear up everything... Would you stay in here?"**_ He asked curiously and you chuckled, shaking your head amused. He was impossible.

_**"Maybe, yes. But it's not gonna happen... So..."**_ You answered shrugging. _**"You'll have to come to San Diego." **_

_**"I definitely will."**_ He answered with a slight smile, now looking away. _**"But you know? I guess you'll have to wait till tomorrow... Maybe his anxiety would win him as you said and you'd stay in San Francisco." **_

_**"Yes, yes, sure."**_ You answered laughing. _**"So, would you want to watch the last movie with me in San Francisco?" **_

_**"Yeah, I want."**_ He said chuckling and then he smiled friendly at you. _**"Can I keep this letter?"**_ He suddenly asked and you looked at him surprised.

_**"Yeah... But why would you want to keep it?"**_ You asked curious, looking at him frowning.

_**"Just to have something of you. I always admired your handwriting."**_ He said smiling amused and you laughed.

_**"Oh my god, you're weird!"**_ You replied shaking your head and still laughing. _**"Yes, you can keep it, I don't mind."**_

So you went to watch your last movie together. At one point of the afternoon, he had to leave and you greeted him for the last time in San Francisco. He said all the usual words that people were used to say whenever someone was leaving but his words were honest: Take care, have a good time there, call me as soon as you arrive there, I'm gonna text you to see how you're doing, take a lot of pictures and sent me them, I'll visit you there, do not forget about your friend over here; and most importantly:

_**"I heart you; I'll miss you." **_He said with a tight hug.

Yes, you were going to miss him too because lately you used to spend a lot of time with him. He was your friend now.

* * *

_**"I don't know, Jen. Maybe I'm gonna go alone to the prom."**_ I said talking with Jen on the phone.

_**"How are you going to go alone? No!"**_ She exclaimed in disbelief.

_**"What's the big deal? I'm not gonna be the first one to go alone in the history of proms." **_I answered defensively. _**"And you? With whom are you going?"**_

_**"Danny Green invited me."**_ She answered quiet.

_**"Danny Green? Really? Oh my god, Jen. That guy is gonna be all the time talking about himself and his abs. Why have you accepted?"**_ I asked in disbelief.

_**"I didn't accept, Darren." **_Jen answered. Was she nervous?

_**"Oh good. So, why don't we go together then? We both still don't have a partner, so we can go together."**_ I said while eating a cookie, lying in my bed.

_**"Actually... I do have a partner to go with."**_ Jen answered slowly and I started suspecting. Why wasn't she telling me with who she was going? And damn, Jen was the only one with who I could go after Freckles was gone.

_**"Who?"**_ I asked curious.

_**"Well... I..."**_ She babbled.

_**"Who, Jen? Just say it." **_I insisted eager.

_**"Chuck."**_ She answered in a whisper.

_**"Chuck? My brother?"**_ I asked kind of astonished. Like... What the hell man?

_**"Yes, Darren, your brother."**_ Jen answered sighing.

_**"What the hell, Jen? Why him? I mean... It's my brother! Why would you go with him? He isn't even at school."**_ I said still very puzzled.

_**"Well, yes... But Chuck and I..."**_

_**"Chuck and you what?"**_ I asked almost aggressive even if that wasn't my intention. What the hell was she going to say?

_**"Nothing, Darren, leave it there. It's impossible to talk to you when you're like this."**_ Jen huffed in annoyance.

_**"When I'm like what?"**_ I asked also a bit upset.

_**"Like that! Aggressive and moody, all the time on the defensive."**_ Jen said still annoyed.

_**"I'm not aggressive!"**_ I exclaimed really moody and Jen said nothing. I realized that I was actually being aggressive, so I sighed and I softened my voice. _**"I'm sorry, Jen, I didn't mean it. It just took me by surprise; I wasn't expecting to hear that you were going to go with my brother."**_

_**"Actually, you should have expected to hear something like that."**_ Jen answered curtly.

_**"What do you mean?"**_ I asked confused.

_**"Darren, I like Chuck and he likes me, okay? And it's been for a while. You should have noticed it, but you were so closed in yourself, locked in your bedroom, refusing to talk to someone, thinking about what was happening to you that you didn't notice anything."**_ Jen answered kind of upset and kind of sad and I couldn't believe what I was hearing. _**"I understand that you were sad because of Freckles, but I was also sad because she was my friend. So Chuck has been very supportive with me, the only one, and well, it just happened."**_

_**"Are you telling me that you are dating my brother?"**_ I asked stunned.

_**"Kind of."**_ She answered curtly.

After I heard those words, I stayed silent for a long time. Jen and my brother? What the fuck, man? They were like family. How couldn't have I noticed it? It was happening right in front of me and I didn't notice it ever. Suddenly I felt really bad; Jen was right, I was closed to myself, thinking only about myself that I let pass all that was happening around. Shit, I was a terrible person. Jen needed me but I was so busy thinking about myself so she found comfort in my brother. Then I realized something else: everybody was moving on except me. Jen found someone to love, my brother was with Jen, Karen also had a relationship with a random guy in school; and I was alone, still suffering for someone who I loved but wasn't here anymore. I was really alone and I felt bad. No, I should feel happy for Jen and Chuck because she was my best friend and he was my brother, I loved them both; I needed to stop thinking only about myself. But I couldn't help it, I was feeling really sad.

_**"Whoa, that is weird."**_ I exclaimed still stunned and Jen didn't say anything at all. _**"But I'm happy for you two. I wouldn't want to see you with anybody else, just as I wouldn't want to see Chuck with someone different than you. You guys are the people I love the most so, yeah, I'm glad you're together."**_ I said very softly and then I gulped. Damn, I didn't know what to say.

_**"Thanks, Darren."**_ Jen whispered kind of gloomy.

_**"I hope you both can accept my invitation."**_ I said trying to sound cheerful.

_**"What invitation?"**_ Jen asked still in a gloomy way.

_**"A dinner together. We have to celebrate that you're officially part of the family now, right?"**_ I said again trying to sound cheerful and finally I heard Jen giggling softly. That made me feel a bit better; I needed to make up for my mistakes.

_**"All right, but I choose the place."**_ She answered more joyful now.

_**"Deal."**_ I said with a slight smile, even though she couldn't see me.

We talked for a little more and then we hung up. I lay down in bed, with my arms behind my head, staring the ceiling, thoughtful. This was super odd, Jen and my bro, I just couldn't believe it yet; it was going to be weird to see them together in person, I only hoped I wouldn't feel uncomfortable. But yeah, I was kind of happy that they were together, I loved them both. But I couldn't be completely happy because I didn't believe in love anymore; I thought that love actually didn't exist, that it was a stupid feeling. Inevitably, Freckles popped in my mind again and it hasn't happened in a while. Damn, it wasn't nice to be alone when everybody around me was happy with someone to love and be loved. And to think that once I have felt that feeling; it seemed very distant. But I wasn't going to cry, I shouldn't cry; I was a guy and guys don't cry. Shit, I couldn't avoid it: a tear fell down my face but I wiped it away quickly. My phone buzzed and I thought it was Jen, but not. The unknown number again. Oh great, so opportune; I thought ironically.

From unknown number: **You wanted to know who I am, Criss; well, now you'll know who I am, it's time. Meet me in an hour in Marin Headlands, you know where.**

To unknown number: **What the hell makes you think that I'm going to go there? Screw you, I don't want to know who you are, I want you to stop bugging me.**

From unknown number: **Because I have something for you. **

To unknown number: **Not interested. **

From unknown number: **You should be interested, Criss, because it involves you and your friends. If I give you this I have, lot of things will change. You know, then, Marin Headlands in an hour; I'll be there.**

To unknown number: **Whatever.**

I wasn't going to go, it was pointless and ridiculous. But I was intrigued, why would that person say that it involves me and my friends? And who was that person anyway? How did that person have my number? I was sure it was Amanda, but I needed to be sure. And I had nothing to lose; after all, I was alone with nothing to do while everybody was busy. Yeah, after an hour, I found myself standing under the particular tree where Freckles and I used to be a time ago; waiting for that person to arrive. Then I heard some steps and I shivered. I started looking around to see who it was, but I didn't see anyone. It was very dark. Then I saw the person waking to me: Brian.

_**"What the hell are you doing here?"**_ I yelled angrily but also scared.

_**"Calm down, Criss."**_ He answered now walking to me slowly and gingerly.

_**"Do not move! Stay right there!"**_ I yelled again, looking at him suspiciously. But he kept walking and I pulled out my phone. _**"Stay right there or I'm gonna call the police!"**_ I yelled threateningly and he finally stopped walking.

_**"I'm not gonna hurt you, Criss. I'm just trying to help."**_ He said gingerly, looking fixedly at me.

_**"Help my ass!"**_ I yelled very furious. That fucking asshole, what was he doing? _**"Get out of here!"**_

_**"Criss, I just came here to give you something. I'm just gonna give you that and I'm gonna leave. I won't do anything else."**_ He said frowning, standing there and not moving.

_**"I don't want anything from you, you jackass!"**_ I yelled again.

_**"Stop that shit, Criss; you're acting like a kid."**_ He said now annoyed and I looked at him in disbelief. _**"You don't like me, yeah, and I don't even like you; but I'm doing this for someone else. So just take a minute to be mature this time."**_

_**"Mature? Are you fucking kidding me? As far as I remember I'm not the asshole who bullied someone; you were. So tell me now who needs to be mature, jerk."**_ I said very fiercely.

_**"Yeah, I admit that I acted like an asshole; but things aren't as you think they are and I won't start arguing about this now. I just came to give you something; something harmless, Criss."**_ He said annoyed but amazingly controlled and not aggressive. But then he started walking to me again.

_**"Do not move, I said!"**_ I yelled harshly and he stopped again.

_**"Fine, fine!"**_ He exclaimed raising his arms and looking at me incredulous. Then he looked for something in his pack and then he pulled out something I couldn't see.

_**"Throw it there right now!"**_ I yelled scared because I had no idea what he had in his hands now. What if it was something like a gun or something? He looked at me frowning and still annoyed and then he showed me what he had in his hands.

_**"See? It's something harmless, Criss. You should learn how to calm your tits."**_ He said raising an eyebrow and I felt like a fool. _**"I'm gonna leave this right here, I hope you can take it."**_ Brian said placing that package on the grass while I was looking at him still suspicious. _**"There are two letters and a video. First read the long letter, and then watch the video. And after you do it, read the short letter that I wrote. With these things you'll know it all, you'll find out that you've believed a lie all this time, Criss."**_

_**"I don't want that stuff."**_ I said suspiciously, looking at him and looking at the package.

_**"Whatever, Criss. You're free to do the shit you want. But I'm gonna leave it there."**_ Brian said shaking his head. _**"That's all; so bye, Criss."**_

Brian turned around and left, just as he said he was going to do. I stood there silently until I was sure he was gone; so then I looked at the package on the grass. I wasn't sure if I should take it because I didn't want to know anything else about W and Freckles or Brian; but I was really intrigued to know what those things were. So I just took the package and I came back to my house, all the time corroborating if someone was following me or not. I arrived home safe and sound and I went directly to my bedroom. Then it began the dilemma of whether I should see what was inside the package or not. It was already 5am and I couldn't sleep, I was still thinking if I should see it. I didn't want to start thinking about Freckles and all she did with her friends again; so it took me another hour to finally open the package. There were indeed a long letter, a video and a short letter; nothing more, nothing less. As Brian said, I took the long letter and I opened it. It was from Freckles; I recognized it because that was her handwriting and the paper was crumpled. My body started trembling when I noticed it, I was scared to read what I was about to read; but I took a deep breath and I started reading the letter I should have read a long time ago. When I finished reading it, I was stunned and perplexed. This letter explained a lot of things; this letter explained that Freckles wasn't W and that W forced her to do all she did that day. However, she didn't mention who W was, so I couldn't believe what she wrote in that letter. Anyway, I felt confused and I started doubting; so I went downstairs in silence to watch the video that Brian gave me. Fortunately it was 8am on a Saturday and everybody was sleeping because they were used to get up at 10am. I was feeling very eager and scared; man, what if Brian was telling me the truth? What if this was going to change everything? However, I pressed the play button. It took me few seconds to recognize where the video was filmed: it was in one of the classrooms of our school. I saw Jim and Brian talking about random things; then I heard how someone knocked the door and Brian walked to the door. After a while, Jim also went there and minutes later, Jim was tying Freckles on a chair. He started to curse and threaten her. Then Jim said he was going to look for someone and Brian was now alone with Freckles. Brian, surprisingly, untied her and he told her to run away. This was very weird and I was very concentrated watching the video. Brian was helping Freckles and Freckles was scared. Then someone opened the door and it was Jim. Brian lied and then Jim tied Freckles on the chair again. Then someone opened the door again. Karen? What the actual fuck? What was she doing there? She was saying she was W all this time, she was telling Freckles why she was W and why she has done all the things she did, she slapped Freckles a few times and Brian tried to stop her while Jim seemed to be enjoying this. Then Karen threaten Freckles, she forced her to do all the things that Freckles has done that day, otherwise she was going to hurt us; Karen showed Freckles a video of me, Jen, Mandy, my family, her family and Jen's family. Karen forced Freckles to do it all and Freckles did it for us, to protect us. The video finished when Freckles accepted to do it. Oh fuck, fuck, fuck. This wasn't possible. Oh damn shit, I was a hideous person with Freckles all this time and she only tried all this time to talk to me about this. And Karen, Karen betrayed me and I was with her all this last time while she was laughing at me. And Freckles was expelled from school for no reasons, and she took it only for us. And Brian helped her, like what the hell? Freckles was right when she told me that maybe Brian wasn't a bad person and I didn't believe her. And I believed that Freckles was actually W. How on the earth could have I done something like that? I knew Freckles way too much and I thought she was W? I should have suspected about it, but not. My whole body was trembling and I was in shock, feeling like the worst person in the whole planet. Everything had sense now, the way she was trying desperately to talk to me, the way she was looking at me in a sad way, the way she cried; I thought she was pretending it and it wasn't like that. I lost the person I loved because I was a total jerk. Oh no, how could have I treated her so nastily? Man, this was terrible; I was terrible. I didn't realize that it was 11am now, so my mom and dad finally came downstairs and I tried to calm and wipe away my tears; I didn't want to explain anything.

_**"Darren, why are you up so early?"**_ My dad asked curious.

_**"Nothing, dad."**_ I said quickly and I ran upstairs to go to my bedroom as fast as I could.

I took the letter that Brian wrote to me and I read it quickly.

**"You see, Criss, nothing is at it seems and now you know it. Sorry it took me time to give it all to you, I was trying to find the video because I knew you wouldn't believe anything without it. I hope that when you read this it's not too late. She's leaving San Francisco to live in San Diego for months because she said she couldn't be here anymore, because she's feeling really bad. She's leaving on Saturday at 12am. If you want her back, please try to go to her house before 12am so you can stop her; I know that if you talk to her, she's gonna stay; she told me that, even though she thought it was impossible. Everything is up to you, Criss. I hope you can see all the things she has done for you, she's a good girl and I never saw someone who could love you as much as she does. I hope you don't let her go. And sorry, for all the things I've done too."**

Oh damn shit, it was 11:30 am. She was going to leave in 30 minutes and I had to talk to her; I didn't want to lose her, I didn't want to let her go; I couldn't let her go because I loved her and I wouldn't stand being without her for months. I wanted to apologize, I wanted her to forgive me, I wanted to be with her again. Without thinking and without changing my clothes, I ran downstairs to go for my bike and go to her house. My mom and dad tried to stop me when they saw me so hurried and nervous, but I didn't stop. I grabbed my bike and I started riding to Freckles' house as fast as I could. Damn, her house was away from mine and I was dying, I was very tired; but I needed to get there. I didn't stop in any moment, even if my legs were hurting and I could barely breathe. I finally arrived there and I threw my bike to run to her front door, all sweaty and tired. I knocked desperately the door, not even stopping to check what time it was. I heard some steps and I felt relieved, it meant that Freckles was still there. My heart was beating fast and I was desperate. Someone opened the door, but it wasn't Freckles; it was her mom.

_**"Darren?"**_ Natalie asked frowning and confused.

_**"Ms. Natalie."**_ I said panting and desperately, while I was still sweating. _**"Please, I need to see Freckles; please."**_ I begged.

_**"I'm so sorry."**_ Her mom said kind of distressed, looking at me very intently.

_**"Please, Ms. Natalie, let me come in, let me talk to her. I know I've hurt your daughter but I'm really sorry for that and I really need to talk to her."**_ I begged desperately, still panting.

_**"No, I'm sorry because she's not here anymore. She left San Francisco." **_Her mother answered anguished. When I heard those words it was as if someone stabbed me. I looked down feeling really bad.

_**"Is she already gone?"**_ I asked with teary voice as tears started to stream down my face without being able to control it. _**"I didn't make it in time. She's gone."**_ I said feeling worse than ever. Now she was gone and I couldn't apologize, I wasn't going to see her again. _**"Oh no, no, no."**_ I exclaimed really stricken.

_**"Get in the car, Darren."**_ Natalie suddenly said and I looked at her astonished. _**"Maybe she's still in the airport and we can reach her before she leaves."**_

_**"Thank you! Thank you!"**_ I exclaimed very excited and relieved and I had no better idea than hugging Natalie.

This was the first time I hugged her and she seemed to be very tense and surprised, so I broke the hug quickly and I looked at her radiant. She looked at me with a warm smile and then we walked into her car. She drove really fast but always respecting the traffic signals. I was very nervous and eager, I wished she could drive a bit faster. In ten minutes we were already in the airport and I got out of the car really quickly, as Freckles' mom told me to go without her because she wouldn't be able to run as fast as me. So there I was, lost in the airport, surrounded by a lot of people, trying to find where Freckles was. I was very desperate and exalted, my heart was beating fast and I was starting to feel scared; I didn't want to think that I didn't arrive here in time. Then I saw her in middle of the crowded place: Freckles was about to cross the boarding gate. My heart started beating even faster and my body started trembling; I needed to stop her but it was her turn to cross the boarding gate and there were a lot of people between us. Anyway, I ran as fast as I could, pushing some people to reach her. Oh no fuck, she was stepping to cross the boarding gate. I thought it was impossible, but I ran even faster and when she was about to finally cross it, I managed to place my hands on her waist from behind and pull her to me. Once I did it, I wrapped my arms firmly and strongly around her waist to prevent her from moving. Once I made sure she couldn't move, I felt extremely relieved and I let the tears fall down my face, unleashing all the nervousness I was feeling. Freckles couldn't turn around to see what had happened and she started cursing because she was losing her flight. When I turned her around, so she was going to be able to see me; she looked at me really stunned and surprised, not to say she seemed to be kind of terrified. I looked at her exasperated and intensely and then I hugged her as tight as never before. And when she hugged me back and buried her head on my shoulder, I felt very relaxed all of a sudden, I felt as if I was weak and I couldn't remain standing, I felt as if there was still hope that she will forgive me. Few people were staring us, but I didn't care; I was just so relieved to have made it in time, to have her back even if we weren't fine yet; I was happy that I haven't lost her, that she was still here. We didn't care if people were staring us, we both started crying and it was a weird kind of cry: it was a mix of desperation, relief, joy, repentance and confusion. We hugged for a long time without saying anything at all, until I broke the hug to place my hands on her cheeks and look intensely and straight into her eyes.

_**"I'm so sorry."**_ I said with cracked and teary voice.

She didn't answer anything, but she looked at me with her bright and teary eyes; so we hugged again. I didn't want to let her go, I wanted to keep hugging her like forever; shit, I missed her so much. After a really long time, I was in the car of Natalie with Freckles, the three of us going to their house, because they invited me for dinner. The way to their house was silent but Freckles and I wouldn't stop looking at each other. There were a lot of things we had to talk about, there were a lot of things I wanted to say to her, there were a lot of things I wanted to apologize; but now I had time, because Freckles was staying in San Francisco. When we arrived to their house, Mandy was there in the house wearing her pajamas, very tousled and with red and swollen eyes; whoa, I've never seen her like that. When she realized we were there she looked at us agape and in shock. She looked first at her mother, then she looked at me and then at Freckles.

_**"Sister?"**_ She exclaimed with teary voice but joyfully. Then Mandy ran to hug Freckles, that was a nice moment; but I was still feeling like an intruder, very uncomfortable. _**"You didn't go away, thanks god!"**_

They and Natalie started talking about how happy they were because Freckles decided to stay; they seemed to be a unite family now, very different from before; and I was happy for that. And I was still there not knowing what to do, this should be a family encounter, a private moment; and I was there like bugging. Natalie went upstairs with Freckles, so she would help her to unpack her stuff, as Mandy went to the kitchen to make dinner for everybody, now feeling happy. I didn't know where to go or what to do; I wanted to be with Freckles and talk to her, but surely she wanted to be alone with her mother for a while and I didn't want to bother them. So I decided to follow Mandy. When I entered the kitchen, Mandy was already cooking something but she stopped doing what she was doing to look at me. I also had to apologize to her.

_**"Mandy..."**_

_**"Thank you, Darren."**_ She said honestly with a slight smile. _**"I don't know why you're here and why my sister was with you; but I guess it's for something you've done. So thanks."**_ She said and I looked at her astonished but still feeling guilty for all the bad things I've done.

_**"No, you shouldn't thank me... I... Mandy, I'm so sorry."**_ I said apologetically, looking at her while she frowned.

_**"Why? I mean... Do you regret for stopping my sister moving to San Diego?"**_ She asked confused.

_**"Not at all. I'm glad I made it in time to stop her."**_ I answered honestly_**. "I'm sorry because I didn't hear you when you tried to tell me what actually happened that day when Freckles and I grew apart. Now I know it all thanks to Brian, and I'm so sorry for all the bad I did."**_ I said very regretful and Mandy looked down in silence.

_**"Let bygones be bygones, Darren. The important is that you are here now, my sister is here; that you already know how things were. I understand why you didn't want to listen to me that time; you were still thinking that my sister was W." **_Mandy said softly, now looking at me. _**"But if what you want is to be forgiven, then you're forgiven, honestly." **_Mandy said with a friendly smile.

_**"Thank you a lot, Mandy."**_ I said smiling back at her.

_**"You're welcome."**_ She said placing her hand on my shoulder. _**"So, have you talked to my sister already?"**_

_**"No yet."**_ I said now looking down and feeling nervous and distressed again. What if she wouldn't forgive me? I hurt her so much, like a jerk.

_**"I see. Everything will work out, so change your face, Darren."**_ Mandy said encouragingly.

_**"I'm not sure about it. I promised her that I'd never do something to hurt her and I broke my promise. I treated her in a hideous way and I feel terrible for that."**_ I said still looking down and feeling anguished. _**"I'm scared that she won't forgive me."**_

_**"What shit is that?"**_ Mandy asked in disbelief and frowning and I looked up to look at her.

_**"I just don't wanna lose her, Mandy."**_ I admitted looking at her, feeling stricken.

_**"Do you really regret for what you did?"**_ She asked looking at me intently.

_**"Of course yes."**_ I replied frankly and distressed.

_**"Well, she also regrets because she made you feel bad when Karen forced her to say all of those things."**_ Mandy said shrugging and I looked at her curious. What was her point? _**"Do you really love my sister?"**_ She asked and I looked at her as if the answer was really obvious so the question was absurd.

_**"Hell yes, she's the person I love the most, I never stopped loving her even if I tried to."**_ I answered sincerely.

_**"There you have your answer, then. You two only need to talk and forgive each other and then everything will be as before, even better than before. So don't be scared because that is bullshit."**_ Mandy said as if she was reproaching me.

_**"Yeah, I hope so."**_ I said sighing and smiling faintly.

_**"Change your 'I hope so' for 'It'll be like that' and then we're gonna be fine."**_ Mandy said encouragingly again and she patted my shoulder as I grinned; only nodding. _**"Come on, brother-in-law, help me with the dinner." **_

_**"All right, but if I burn something, do not blame me." **_I said jokingly and she laughed. I liked the way she called me brother-in-law; she never said it before and it sounded good.

I helped Mandy as much as I could but it wasn't so much anyway; yeah, I promised that I was going to learn how to cook but I never did it. When dinner was ready, Freckles and Natalie got down and we all sat in the dining room to have a very quiet and nice moment. Neither I nor Freckles spoke so much. The only thing I did during all the dinner long was to look at Freckles, who was sitting right in front of me; and she also was looking at me. It was a bit uncomfortable situation and I regretted not to have talked to her before the dinner. At one point of the dinner, Freckles with all of her adorable clumsiness, tried to drink water while still looking at me and she failed, spilling the water. I chuckled inside and I smiled at her shyly; when she smiled back at me amused, suddenly I felt much better; I loved her smile, man. No one else noticed this, so it was like a secret between the two of us. The dinner continued being quiet and then, Mandy, on purpose, asked her mom if she could help her to fix a problem she had in her bedroom; so they would leave me alone with Freckles. When they left, I started feeling nervous because I didn't know how to start this conversation not to screw it up. Freckles didn't say anything; she only stood up to clear the table. I quickly stood up and I walked behind her, to place a hand above hers to stop her from doing what she was doing. She shivered at the touch and looked at me; I only smiled kindly at her.

_**"Let me do it for you." **_I said softly, and I started to clear the dishes.

_**"No Darren, it's not necessary." **_Freckles said trying to stop me. That was the first thing she said to me since I looked for her in the airport.

_**"Please."**_ I insisted softly and she sighed.

_**"All right, we can make it the two of us."**_ She said and I smiled at her.

So the two of us started clearing the table and then we went to the kitchen to wash the dishes. Freckles tried to do it herself, but I insisted that I wanted to do it so; again, we washed the dishes together. It was a simple gesture but for me it was as if we were sharing new things together, only the two of us, as before. The most uncomfortable moment was when we finished washing the dishes; I knew that I needed to talk to her but I didn't know how to start. It was ironic that I had so many things to say and at the same time I didn't know what to say. We were just standing there in the kitchen, both of us very silent and awkward. We were like this for a long time. If only I could hold her and kiss her as before...

_**"I think we need to talk." **_Freckles said. She was the first to talk and it surprised me; she never was the first to talk.

_**"Yes, we need."**_ I said awkwardly, feeling very edgy.

Then neither of us talked. We remained silent for a long time again; both of us looking down and feeling uncomfortable. Dammit, this was hard. But I needed to talk now if I wanted to get her back; or at least to be forgiven. I needed her to forgive me.

_**"I'm so sorry for all I've done, I promised you that I'd never hurt you and I broke the promise and I feel really bad because of it; I'm sorry that I didn't believe you when I had to; I'm sorry to have thought that you were W and a nasty person and I treated you in a hideous way and you really didn't deserve it. I feel so bad because all this time you were doing this for me and I was a real ass, making you feel bad all the time; I'm so sorry! And I feel terrible because you were expelled and I did nothing to stop it; damn, you were expelled and I knew how important school is for you. And I'm sorry because I couldn't be a good boyfriend for you, I'm a terrible boyfriend and I suck! But I love you so much and I have no idea how to make it up for all my mistakes and bad and I don't wanna lose you but I understand if you hate me for all I did. And I wish things could be different because, oh shit, I miss you and I love you so much."**_ I said quickly, slurring my words and feeling desperate and edgy, and also distressed and awkward. Freckles was looking at me with eyes wide open and raising her eyebrows.

_**"Darren, slow down."**_ She whispered still astonished. _**"I never understood how you can speak so fast and so obstreperously." **_She said and I chuckled nervously.

_**"I'm sorry. I guess... I just... I had so many things to say and I didn't know how to say it all and well, I'm just trying to say all of those things and I can't find the words and I seem a total jerk and I surely look so awkward but I don't care, I just want to apologize for being such an asshole and this is like gnawing my mind and I'm a mess and I'm upset with myself and I feel bad because I love you and..."**_ I started slurring my words again, feeling edgy and desperate again.

It wasn't until Freckles placed her hand on my shoulder that I finally shut up. Her touch made me shiver and I felt so good that it made me calm down. Usually in this situation I'd have wrapped my arms around her to kiss her or to caress her; but now I couldn't do it and it felt rough.

_**"Slow down, Darren. We can talk about this quietly, there's no hurry and there's no need to feel nervous. It's me; I'm still being the same person as always; why would you feel nervous?"**_ She asked very softly looking intensely into my eyes.

When she said that my heart started beating faster and I started shedding tears like a little boy. Yes, she was still the same person as always, she still had those enthralling eyes and that sweet voice, she still had that addictive smell and that cute smile; she was the same person with whom I fell in love, but the difference now was that I wasn't allowed to touch her, to caress her, to kiss her. What made my heart skip a beat was when she wiped my tears away with her thumb. In that time, I couldn't control myself any longer: I wrapped my arms around her and I buried my head on her shoulder, nuzzling her neck with my nose while weeping. Hell, how I missed her! How I wanted everything to be as before! How I wanted to go back in time to never hurt her the way I did! When she hugged me back and started running her fingers through my curls I cried even more.

_**"I'm really sorry, Freckles! I really am. I wish you could forgive me for all my bad; I wish I could get you back."**_ I said with teary voice, still burying my head on her shoulder.

_**"You shouldn't be crying, Darren. I like when you smile."**_ She said softly and I looked up to see her eyes, resting my chin on her shoulder; while she looked down to see my eyes. _**"I forgive you."**_

When she said those three words, the pressure and anguish that I was feeling on my chest disappeared. I tried my best not to cry because of what she said and I smiled at her, looking deeply into her eyes. Then I stood upright to look at her better, holding her hands.

_**"Thank you."**_ I said with cracked voice, more honest than ever. _**"You have no idea how much it means to me."**_ I said frankly and she looked down, nodding. For that she did, I knew that she forgave me but she had no intentions to be my girlfriend again. _**"I understand that you don't want to be with me again; but I hope that we can still be friends; because no matter what, you're still my best friend and even if we aren't together anymore, I want to be there for you."**_

_**"I never said that, why are you assuming it?"**_ Freckles asked now looking at me frowning and that stunned me, my head right off.

_**"I don't know... I... You... For what I did, I thought that maybe you wouldn't want to be with a jerk like me." **_I said mumbling, looking away because I was feeling like a fool.

_**"You're not a jerk, Darren. Stop saying that and stop assuming things because it makes you think things that aren't and then you feel bad for those things."**_ Freckles said softly and still looking at me frowning. Whoa, there was something different on her, as if she was now more self-confident or mature, I couldn't tell what it was, but it was surprising me.

_**"I... well..."**_ I stammered because actually I didn't know what to say, she left me speechless. Then I looked at her intensely. _**"Are you trying to say that I have a chance to get you back and be my girlfriend again?"**_ I asked full of hopes.

_**"No."**_ She answered and when she said that I looked down, biting my lower lip and feeling sad again. I shouldn't have asked that. _**"Because first I need to talk to you."**_ She said firmly and I looked at her again, curious but still feeling kinda sad. _**"You already told me that you're sorry; now it's my turn to say that I'm sorry."**_ Freckles said apologetically and I looked at her confused.

_**"Sorry for what?"**_ I asked.

_**"Because I haven't done anything to really try to fix things."**_ She started saying firmly and I was about to say that it wasn't like that, but she kept talking. _**"When I was at the airport and I realized why I was there, I had a moment. I realized that I was a coward because I was running away from all the things that were hurting me instead facing them. I realized that if only I could have been more self-confident and less coward, I could have fixed all those problems; I could have done something else to face Karen instead doing what she told me to do that day. Yes, I did what Karen told me to do because otherwise she was going to hurt you and all the people I love and I couldn't be selfish. But I know I could have done something else, like standing up to face her and fight for you all without the need to have said that I was W. But I chose the easy way because I'm a coward."**_ She said raising an eyebrow and thoughtful, as if she were feeling annoyed with herself. Over again, I tried to say that it wasn't like that but she kept talking. _**"And I also could have talked to you and have told you that I wasn't W, that I really loved you, that everything wasn't as it seemed to be. But I didn't try my best."**_

_**"No, Freckles. You tried, you tried several times to talk to me and tell me that. It was me the one who refused to talk and who treated you like crap. Do not blame yourself for this."**_ I said distressed looking at her and she shook her head.

_**"No, Darren. I really didn't try it all. I don't know if you understand it; you were the love of my life and for that I should have done more to try to fix things between us, even if it was hard. But I let myself to feel as if it was impossible because I was too coward to deal with harder things, so it was easier to run away; even if it involved being away from you. I don't know if you get what I'm trying to say; I couldn't stand being without you but I did nothing to reverse that situation."**_ Freckles said with cracked voice, now feeling disappointed of herself.

_**"That's bullshit."**_ I said frowning; now placing my hands on her cheeks and looking intensely into her eyes. _**"You've always done everything for me. It's too bad that I realized it yesterday night because I should've realized it before, when we were still together. You're far from being coward, you're actually so brave. Not everybody would have done what you did that day for someone else. I never met a girl who could have done something that could hurt herself only for the love for others. No one does that but you; and that is what makes you so damn astounding."**_

_**"I'm not astounding, Darren." **_She said sadly looking down, frowning. _**"I'm constantly making mistakes and hurting people. And I hurt you, the most important person to me."**_

_**"I am too constantly making mistakes and hurting people; and I also hurt you, the most important person to me. Everybody hurts just for the simple fact of being human beings. Making mistakes doesn't make you less astounding if you consider all the good things you've done."**_ I said softly, caressing her cheeks with my thumbs. _**"I love you so fucking much, with all your mistakes and all your good and I do think that I'd never meet someone as amazing as you are; and that is why is hard to me to let you go." **_

_**"Do you wanna let me go?"**_ She asked looking deeply into my eyes.

_**"No. If it was up to me, I'd be kissing you right now because I still love you as the first time, if not even more."**_ I answered resting my forehead on hers and still looking intensely into her eyes.

She didn't say anything but she remained looking deeply into my eyes, while I was still resting my forehead on hers. I nuzzled my nose with hers as I placed my hands on her waist. She did nothing to stop me and we just stared into each other's eyes just in the same way as we used to stare, when I could get lost into her eyes. I missed her and I missed her lips like crazy; all this time without her was very rough and I just wanted her again. So I closed my eyes to just feel everything about her as before: her skin, her smell, her breathe, her warmth. Now that I had my eyes closed, it was impossible not to kiss her; so I brushed my lips with hers, very smoothly. Oh yeah, I could still remember the taste of her lips so now I wanted to kiss them again. And so I did, without thinking twice. I kissed her lips very softly as I pulled her closer to me. When I noticed she placed her hands on my chest, I knew I was kind of allowed to kiss her as I wanted; she was letting me to do it and I felt really good for that. I kissed her even deeper and this time more firmly and a bit more fiercely, but still sweet and fond. She was continuing the kiss and then my hands on her waist and her hands on my chest turned into a hug while we were softening the kiss. The kiss turned into smiles and laughter; the sadness and guiltiness turned into joy and affection and the uncomfortable situation turned into a very comfortable and natural one. Our eyes met again, but it was a different kind of look now; it was the same lovingly look as before but squared.

_**"I really thought I was going to lose you and those were the most miserable days of my life, as cheesy as it sounds, I don't care, is what I feel."**_ I whispered in front of her lips and she only smiled slightly. _**"So..."**_ I said now smiling amused and kneeling as she looked at me amused, curious and frowning. I held her hands with mine and I looked into her eyes. _**"Do you wanna be my girlfriend again?"**_ I asked making a silly face and raising an eyebrow amused as she laughed. Oh my, I heard her amazing laughter again.

_**"I don't know, I should think about it."**_ She said pretending to be thoughtful and I pouted, so then she laughed again. _**"Maybe you should try to convince me, I know a way that could work out."**_

_**"Really?"**_ I asked pretending to be very intrigued and actually I was kinda intrigued and still amused. I stood up and I placed my hands on her waist before looking at her seductively. _**"What way?"**_

_**"A song; if you sing me something."**_ She answered looking at me with an adorable smile. _**"You know I love your voice, so it could make me say a sure yes."**_ She said smiling and both her smile and what she said was adorable.

_**"A song, huh? But I'll need an instrument to play."**_ I said shrugging and shaking my head.

_**"No problem. I have a ukulele that someone, my idol, gave me some time. Maybe you can play it**_." She said also shrugging.

_**"That could work. Yeah, gimme that ukulele."**_ I said chuckling.

_**"Good! You'll have to follow me, it's in my bedroom."**_ She said smiling amused as she held my hand. I looked at her amused and smiling widely.

She led me to her bedroom and she closed the door behind us, locking it with key, so nobody would interrupt us. Her room was different as I remembered it; it was empty and three suitcases were on the floor. She didn't talk and I remained standing, just seeing everything around not knowing what else to do while she was looking for the ukulele in one of the baggage. When she finally found it, she handed it to me with a bright smile and then she held my free hand to lead me to her bed. She sat there and she kind of forced me to sit next to her. Then she looked at me expectant with a huge and excited smile on her face. I giggled softly because she was so excited, she was always excited when I was about to sing; only she could get that excited for something like that.

_**"All right. This song is dedicated for the love of my life: You."**_ I said smiling amused but also fondly. _**"I think it's a proper song in this moment, considering the talk we had minutes ago. I wish from the bottom of my heart that you can enjoy it."**_ I said giggling softly again when she bounced excited on the bed.

_When the day is long and the night, the night is yours alone _

_When you're sure you've had enough of this life, well hang on _

_Don't let yourself go, everybody cries _

_And everybody hurts sometimes _

_Sometimes everything is wrong, now it's time to sing along _

_When your day is night alone...hold on, hold on _

_If you feel like letting go... hold on _

_When you think you've had too much of this life, well hang on _

_Everybody hurts; take comfort in your friends _

_Everybody hurts, _

_Don't throw your hand, oh no, don't throw your hand _

_When you feel like you're alone, no, no, no, you are not alone _

_If you're on your own in this life, the days and nights are long _

_When you think you've had too much of this life to hang on _

_Well everybody hurts, sometimes _

_Everybody cries, everybody hurts, sometimes _

_But everybody hurts sometimes _

_So hold on, hold on, hold on, _

_Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, _

_Everybody hurts _

_You are not alone_.

_**"I love that song and I love your voice."**_ She said smiling sweetly and I smiled back at her, putting aside the ukulele. I moved closer to her and I held her hands.

_**"So now that I did what you told me..." **_I said looking deeply into her bright eyes. _**"Do you wanna be the girlfriend of this fool guy?" **_

_**"I already told you what the answer would be. Yes." **_She said smiling widely and I smiled brightly, letting out a giggle of joy before leaning to kiss her.

Since that moment, everything flowed naturally as if we never grew apart; but now with something new that the two of us learned: How to truly apologize and forgive the loved person, making grow the relationship. Now we were lying down in her bed, snuggling up, just talking and laughing as two kids; telling all the things that happened to us when we were separate. It was good to talk to her again, to hold her in my arms again, to kiss her, to caress her, to see her smile and eyes again; it was good just to be with her even if we were only breathing together. It came a point of the night when we were silent and we looked into each other's eyes, with bright and joyful eyes, smiling very happy and fondly, caressing each other's cheeks and resting our foreheads together. We didn't say anything in that moment, but at the same time we said everything; only with our eyes we said those words: I love you.

* * *

_**"I'm not gonna come back to that school, Darren, so do not insist. We're not gonna tell the principal who W is, because I'm not like Karen, I wouldn't do the same she did. If we're doing this, is only because you convinced me that now I have a bad reputation for college and I have to change it. So that's it all."**_ You said firmly when Darren was forcing you to enter the school.

_**"Baby, please! If you come back to school, then you'll have more chances to get the scholarship. And I know you wouldn't come back if Karen and Jim are still around. We need to tell them that they were the bullies." **_Darren insisted strongly as he has been doing since days.

_**"We're not gonna argue about this anymore. I prefer to study at home so everybody is fine." **_You said huffing and when Darren was about to complain again, you interrupted him._** "Darren Everett Criss, stop right now. I made a decision already, so this is the end of this argument." **_

_**"Ugh! I hate when you do that."**_ He complained as a kid, huffing and frowning and then he looked away and you knew him way too much to figure out what he was thinking, so you stopped him while you were walking.

_**"Listen, Darren."**_ You said bossy and firmly. _**"I know what you're thinking and you're not gonna do that. You won't say anything at all, otherwise, I'm not gonna go to the principal's office. Clear?" **_

_**"Ugh!"**_ He complained annoyed, frowning. _**"I hate you."**_

_**"Do you?"**_ You asked looking at him fixedly, raising an eyebrow. He looked at you pouting and then he sighed.

_**"You know I don't."**_ He said still pouting and you had to make a big effort not to laugh and remain serious. He looked adorable whenever he pouted; it reminded you to a little kid. _**"But really, baby! If I..."**_

_**"Shh, Darren! It's already decided."**_ You interrupted him bossy.

_**"Oh damn! Come on! This is annoying, you're being so annoying!"**_ He complained again as a kid.

_**"Am I annoying?"**_ You asked again looking at him fixedly and raising an eyebrow and he huffed, frowned and pouted again.

_**"Of course not, you're asking those things on purpose! Leave me alone."**_ He huffed annoyed, still pouting and frowning; now also crossing his arms. You only looked at him wide eyed, raising eyebrows in surprise; again, trying not to laugh.

_**"All right... If that is what you want..." **_You said serious but actually you were really amused.

You turned around and you started walking away from him. At first, Darren didn't notice this because he was looking away, he never thought that you were going to do it for real, hence why when he noticed that you were walking away from him he looked at you astonished and then he ran to you, taking you by your arm to stop you.

_**"Why were you going?"**_ He asked still annoyed and you just looked at him serious. This was so much fun.

_**"You told me to do so."**_ You answered shrugging.

_**"Are you fucking kidding me? It was a joke, I was just..."**_ Darren started explaining in a very rowdy way and then you finally burst out laughing. Darren looked at you agape and he shook his head when he finally realized that you were amused because of this situation. _**"Oh man, you're impossible!"**_ He exclaimed loudly, raising his arms and still shaking his head, but now giggling. Then he looked at you and he bit his lower lip and, still shaking his head, he hugged you. _**"You know I love you for that, right?"**_ He said chuckling and you laughed before pecking his lips.

_**"I know. And you know that I love how you believe all the silly and innocents jokes that I make you, right?" **_You asked smiling mischievously in front of his lips.

_**"Hell yeah, I should've noticed it long time ago." **_He answered giggling in front of your lips before he kissed them. _**"So... We're telling the principal that Karen..."**_

_**"Oh no, no, no; not again!"**_ You interrupted him quickly, rolling your eyes. _**"I was serious when I said that I'm not going to go back to school and I wasn't going to tell that Karen and Jim were the bullies." **_

_**"Baby, do you know that song from Grease, Beauty school dropout?"**_ He asked and you looked at him fixedly.

_**"Yes I do know that song and you're not gonna sing it."**_ You said bossy, walking again as Darren started walking behind you, placing his hands on your shoulders.

_**"Beauty school dropout, no graduation day for you."**_ Darren started singing in your ear from behind.

_**"Darren, stop it."**_ You said firmly and curtly, even though this was funny for you.

_**"Beauty school dropout, missed your midterms and flunked shampoo!"**_ He kept singing and you looked at him in disbelief. He smiled amused and raised his eyebrows. _**"Beauty school dropout, go back to high school." **_

_**"Are you kidding me? Stop it, Darren."**_ You said again firmly but he smiled even more amused.

_**"Beauty school dropout, go back to high school."**_ He kept singing and you shook your head and rolled your eyes as he kneeled and held your hands. _**"Beauty school dropout, go back to high school."**_

_**"Oh my god."**_ You exclaimed in disbelief, raising your eyebrows and trying hard not to laugh. _**"You're a dork."**_

_**"I am, but at least you liked it."**_ He said standing up to walk next to you holding hands, looking at you amused.

_**"I didn't like it."**_ You said looking away and trying to be serious.

_**"Yes you did."**_ He insisted, pulling you closer to him as he wrapped an arm around your back.

_**"Okay, yes, I did."**_ You admitted laughing and wrapping an arm around his hips.

You kept fooling around and joking and laughing while you were going to school to talk to the principal. Everything was going more than well until something stopped you and changed your mood.

_**"Darren what the hell?" **_Someone asked really harshly, in disbelief.

_**"Get out of my sight, you crap."**_ Darren replied coldly and harshly looking at Karen.

This was the first time you both saw Karen after Darren found out how things truly were. What would happen now?


	30. The Prom

A/N: Hi guys! Are you ready for the last chapter that takes place in high school? Yes, the last one; that is why this chapter is the longest I wrote in this story. It is finally the prom dance! I wrote about different things to compensate all the time you'll spend reading this, so I really hope you can enjoy this chapter. I liked writing this chapter; I think it's emotional, a bit funny and also hot. So yes, there's a warning! If you don't like smut, probably you shouldn't read the last part because it's a bit sexual. I warned you, guys! Okay, that's all. Thank you a lot for reading this first part of this story, for sharing with me your opinions and feelings and just for spending half-year of your lives reading this. Yes! It's been already half-year since I published Teenage Dream! Crazy. Okay, I won't bother you anymore and I'll reply your reviews. Here I go!

SkittlesPanda: Here you have more! What will Karen do? Maybe it's gonna surprise you! I've told you that I believed in happy endings and I'm happy you were happy for their happiness! haha. I hope you can enjoy the last part of this story!

MeMi83: Please do not make a standing ovation because I'm a shy person and I'll probably run away! Now in all seriousness, thank you a lot! It made me smile, really! Wait, you still have to read the very last 1st part of this story! It's not over yet! It's gonna be over after this chapter. I really enjoy writing, even though lately I've been lazy! haha But I do really enjoy doing this, so you'll get like 100 more chapters! Well, maybe not so many, but you'll keep reading this for a long time, hopefully!

alicegursk: Brian is out bro, man! It's a bro thing! (talking in a fratty way here). Now I have a blanket and I'm a happy colorful unicorn! I have the power to make you cry tears of joy and tears of sadness; I think the next thing I have to achieve is to make you cry tears of anger, and then I'll be complete, I think. So, happy puppy, I hope you can enjoy this last chapter of the first part of this story! Get ready to read a lot. (Btw, this has nothing to do with the fic, but I've heard about the meteorite, don't know if Satka is near where you live; but anyway I hope you're fine!)

Ginny Zoey: Yes, they are back together again! I couldn't help it and I had to make it fast! I wanted to see them together again! haha. But Darren is so tiny! Would he be able to yell the crap out of Karen and beat the crap out of Jim? Let's see what he can do or what he can do not! I'm so glad that I made you smile with the last chapter and I hope I can make you smile with this one too. And yes, I'm gonna miss writing about their life in high school; so... Your wishes of make out scenes are granted! Ready? ;)

zahra auob: Yes, I liked this new Freckles as well! She's way more confident and you'll see it in this chapter. Oh the song! Never anyone mentioned me about the songs I put here, so I'm really happy you asked! It's called Everybody Hurts by R.E.M. I completely love that song, you need to listen to it, it's wonderful! That song often inspires me when I write emotional things (I use music as inspiration! haha). About Beauty School Drop Out; yes, I think I wrote that chapter just as soon as I finished watching that episode of Glee, I thought it could be a good idea to add it in here, I think it fitted. Would Darren kick Karen's ass? Let's see what happens!

SamGabCollins: Well, definitely I feel flattered! lalala I'm Moriarty lalala! lalala I beat you Sherlock lalala! Okay, enough with my silliness. And I feel even more flattered because you admitted I won, then; you competitive psycho! Well, okay, I promise if it's a Broadway show, I'll act and behave like a princess for a couple hours, but as soon as it finishes, I'll go out and stand with all the fans and I'll turn into a crazy animal, making high-pitched noises, hyperventilating and shaking my head fiercely while jumping and screaming your name as I wave you. Hey wait! Omg, I think I'll love your original songs! I really need to listen to them someday! So you forget your lyrics just as Darren, huh? Well, that makes you even more awesome! Hey, you! I like history! I'm a history nerd! Not! Well, maybe a little; I do like history of architecture, does it count? haha. Why don't we just throw a physics book? Your man-voice! haha! You're in love with Brian, unbelievable! But yes, he's so damn cute and sexy, yes. You'll love him more in the next chapters, maybe. I totally forgot about that scene of Friends! I watched it like a long time ago! Omg, you're right! Maybe that scene was in my subconscious all along! Well, truth is that I planned that scene since the first chapter of this story! So I tried to make it cute! Freckles must kick Karen's ass! But would she? I don't know. Oh, Everett, Everett (I love Everett more than Darren you know? haha) Yes, it was time for him to find out the truth! But I'd have loved writing about the couch scene! haha. I'll tell you the truth about Jen and Chuck: In the chapter 'You give me something' (When Darren and Freckles start dating) I was going to write about them being together, then I regretted so I didn't do it, I thought it was better if they were just like family; but then, in the last chapter, I thought 'What the hell! It'd be cute to see them together!' So I did it. Yeah. I love Chuck too! I love Freelance Whales! And if Blaine performs a Freelance Whales song, I think I'd die, literally! It'd be amazing! The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles! Man, I was Donatello; I don't know why, I liked purple color and well, maybe because I knew that I was the reincarnation of the Renaissance Italian artist... not! Okay, stop, I'm rambling too much! And I'd love to see the picture of the case that you have for your school! Okay, okay, I'll let you read this chapter, my Sherlock!

Guest 1: I think this '3' means something really nice! Thank you! 333

Kaylacriss332: First off, your picture is so damn hot. I feel like he's killing me with his sexy look. How am I supposed now to focus on what I have to answer you? Okay, okay, Beauty School Drop-Out! Damn, now I'm imagining his sexiness when he sang it. Okay, stop. Don't you worry, potterhead! I'll definitely write that chapter, a promise is a promise. I'm trying to think about a proper moment to write it, but I definitely will do it! I'm a potterhead myself too, so yes, it excites me!

Nicole: Did you like the ending? Oh, I don't know if you'll like this one, but I wish you can enjoy this whole new chapter! Have you read Chain Letters? Awww! So many memories! I liked so much writing that story! It always makes me smile when I think about it, I don't know why! I hope you liked it! And geez! Thank you a lot for saying I'm talented! It's so weird to hear that! Like, no I am not! But it made me feel so happy and flattered and shy when you said it! Thank you very much, you made me smile!

caarolineboeira1: Omg! You thought that when you saw Tina crying? Me too! I'll never have him and let me cry in peace! haha. Damn, I'd have done the same than her, that thing of vapor-rape him. Yeah! And now we got the hot make-out in the steamy car and ahhh! I wanted to scream, they were so horny! And well, so many Klaine feelings. Blaine got the D! haha. Okay, I'll stop, I promise! Yes, I also like that they're together again! I just... I didn't like them to be separated! I love them together, but I also love drama and all that stuff! haha. And Freckles and Karen! hahaha, well, you'll see what happens! Maybe it's gonna surprise you! Well, I'll let you read now this last chapter of the first part of Teenage Dream! Yay!

Guest 2: Yes! They're together again! Was it cute when Darren apologized to her? I wanted to make it cute and also awkward, as well all feel when we have to apologize to someone we really love! It's always awkward, I don't know why! If I were Freckles, surely I'd have loved the things he said. Maybe Freckles will start having a normal life again, not sure about the school part! And well, yes, Karen appeared so soon! Maybe something bad is gonna happen, or maybe not; or maybe something you weren't expecting will happen and you'll feel surprised, I don't know! You'll find it out! So, I'll let you read so you'll get your answer! I hope you can enjoy the last chapter of the first part of this story!

vicky: I liked writing that chapter as well, I swear I pictured it as if I was watching a movie when I was writing it! (haha I'm so weird!). Like, everything was exasperating and Darren, fuck, hurry up! haha okay, you might be thinking I'm completely insane, so I'll stop. Well... About what will happen now... A lot of things will happen. Good and bad things. Mostly good things, though. I don't know, you'll just have to read it, please don't kill me. And enjoy this last chapter!

Vcriss: You're about to find out what will happen now after that cliffhanger! And I'm with stupid right now; I think I didn't get what you tried to say with that you hoped glee this week didn't change all of our thoughts about Darren. I can be really stupid sometimes! haha. Thank you, anyway! I only hope you can enjoy this last chapter!

Alright guys, that was it all! Now get ready to read a long chapter, the last one! Don't kill me, that's all I'll say. Now, I hope you all have a totally awesome week! Until next Friday/Saturday! Warm fuzzies for y'all!

* * *

**Teenage Dream – Part 30 – The Prom.**

* * *

_**"What did you say?"**_ Karen asked disturbed looking intently at Darren and then at you, in disgust.

_**"Oh please, do not play dumb, Karen."**_ Darren said upset and in disgust. _**"I know it all."**_

_**"You know what?"**_ She asked frowning and stunned.

_**"That you're the most hideous person that I know; that you're a heartless bully and that you make me sick."**_ Darren answered harshly looking at her fixedly.

Now Karen changed completely her face now; now she wasn't pretending that she didn't know what Darren was talking about. Now she was looking at Darren coldly and then she looked at you in a rage, in a very nasty way. She walked to you still looking at you in that scary way, but Darren held you in his arms tightly, as if he wanted to protect you or something. You were scared because you didn't know what Karen was able to do now.

_**"Bitch, I told you not to say anything at all."**_ Karen said looking at you in a menacing and arrogant way while you were just looking at her scared. _**"Have you told him?"**_

_**"What if she...?"**_ Darren started asking angry, but you interrupted him.

_**"Yes, I told him."**_ You faced Karen, looking at her fixedly and with no fears now.

It was time for you to start facing those bullies, who screwed your adolescence; who hurt the people you loved, who made you feel miserable all this time. It was time for you to stand for yourself, to make them respect you, to be self-confident and strong to defend what was right, to defend your dignity and your person, to defend the people you loved. It was time for you to stop all those people who wanted to harass and bully you, who wanted to hurt your feelings and beat you, who wanted to make you feel as if you weren't important. You were important and the people you loved were important, so you were going to stand for all of them and for yourself.

_**"And I don't regret it."**_ You said firmly. Darren looked at you amazed and agape and Karen looked at you even nastier.

_**"I'm gonna destroy you, bitch."**_ She said harshly and threateningly.

_**"You won't..."**_ Darren started saying coldly, but you interrupted him again.

_**"Dare, please, let me manage this. I want to do this by myself; I need to do this, please." **_You whispered softly looking at him.

He looked at you stunned, but he nodded and stayed silent; anyway he kept holding you in his arms. Then you looked at Karen fixedly into her eyes. It was incredible that you weren't feeling scared anymore, it was incredible how self-confident you were feeling now; and that was because you knew this was the right thing to do. This was what you always wanted to do and you finally were doing it, so you were feeling how the adrenalin was running throughout your whole body.

_**"What did you say, Karen?"**_ You asked coldly.

_**"I said that I'm going to destroy you."**_ She said harshly, stepping closer to you.

You didn't move from where you were and Darren held you even tighter. You unwrapped Darren's arms that were holding you to walk firmly to Karen. Darren was looking at you frowning and very stunned to do something; surely he couldn't understand how you were so self-confident all of a sudden. Now you were very close to Karen and the two of you were looking very fixedly into each other's eyes. There was hate in Karen's eyes.

_**"You can't destroy me, Karen. No one can destroy me." **_You said smiling bitterly. _**"You're only destroying yourself and I feel pity for you." **_

_**"What did you say, whore?"**_ Karen asked coldly but with a hint of nervousness. She surely wasn't expecting you to face her the way you were doing.

_**"I said that I feel pity for you because you're wasting your life trying to hurt me because you can't accept the fact that you and me aren't so different, both of us were rejected; the difference is that I admitted it and I tried to move on, dealing with it; and you felt humiliated to the point you didn't want anyone to find out that inside you're feeling miserable, reason that led you to be on the defensive all the time, hurting people to try to show to the world that you're badass when actually all you want is to fit in, to have someone who can really love you with all your problems and mess. That's why you can't destroy me and you're destroying yourself."**_ You said firmly and looking fixedly into her eyes as she was looking at you astonished, nervous and scared. _**"You have serious problems and you should start dealing with it, maybe you could get some kind of help from a professional. So then maybe you'd be able to start living your life and accept that not always things are as we want because it's impossible not to fail at everything. You're a loser like me."**_

When you said it all, Darren was looking at you astonished and surprised. But Karen was looking at you in a rage and very nervous. And she punched you strongly on your face. When she punched you, you placed a hand on your nose because it was bleeding. Darren tried to walk to you and push away Karen because he was angry, but you made a gesture with your hands to stop him and so he did. You looked up to look at Karen again. You looked at her fixedly and with superiority; she was really angry and edgy. You didn't move, you just looked at her for a long time. You weren't going to punch her, you weren't like her.

_**"What do you win when you punch someone? What does it make you feel? Does it make you feel good, more important?"**_ You asked frowning as she looked away, apparently disturbed. _**"Or is that a way to make people believe that you're a badass instead a loser, to make people think that you're not like me?"**_

_**"I'm not like you!"**_ She yelled angrily and edgy and you just looked at her quiet.

_**"Yes, you are."**_ You said quiet and she yelled irritated before she punched you again.

_**"Stop, Karen!" **_You heard how Darren yelled upset but you made the same gesture again and looked at Karen.

_**"I forgive you, Karen."**_ You said looking deeply into her eyes and she looked at you puzzled and edgy, with teary eyes because of her nervousness.

_**"I don't care! Stop talking to me, I don't wanna talk to a loser; I don't want to be near you! Stay away!" **_She yelled very edgy.

_**"Will do if you want. But I wish someday you can overcome your problems and if you ever feel like you need someone to help you, I can be there for you; because I know how I can help you because I've been there too, I know how it feels when you think you're alone. No matter what you did, I forgive you and you can count on me. I really wish you can get better."**_ You said quiet and looking fixedly at her as she started shedding tears, looking away very edgy and apparently ashamed because she was crying. _**"Do not feel ashamed for crying, everybody cries. Despite everything, I believe that you are really good at heart."**_

_**"Stop, stop!" **_She said with trembling voice and still crying nervously. _**"I don't wanna hear you, I don't want!" **_She exclaimed weakly while still sobbing and looking away, covering her face with her hands.

You observed her and the situation and the angriness you were feeling days ago disappeared and it turned into a feeling of pity for her. All the days you had when you were alone, right after you were forced to tell Darren that you were W, you spent almost all the days missing Darren but also trying to understand why Karen could have done something like that. So it was when you started to think that she and you weren't so different; that maybe Karen has done everything she has done because it was like a wall of self-defense she built to protect herself from being rejected again; even though you'd have never do something like that, but maybe it was her way. Maybe she wasn't a bad person, maybe she was too scared, lonely and stricken but she didn't want people to know it, so she was pretending to be something else. And Karen, judging by the way she acted seconds ago, proved it was like that; she didn't say it directly, but her nervousness, shame and disturbance were the signs that proved you that it was in fact as you thought it was. So now you were feeling bad for her, because you also felt once so ashamed of your own feelings; you also felt alone and lost, not knowing how to move on to overcome your troubles. And one time you said that you wouldn't like anyone to feel the way you've felt in the past, no matter who it was the one who was feeling like that. And you knew perfectly what she needed: just a simple hug could heal the wounds, not completely, but it was a start. So you walked to her slowly, forgetting all she has done to you, and you hugged her. At first she resisted and tried to push you away while still crying and covering her face with her hands; but then it was as if she felt too weak to keep resisting and she let you hug her; she even buried her head to cry on your shoulder. It was weird to be hugging her, but you knew that a hug could do a lot, and you knew that she needed it, despite everything.

_**"I'm sorry for all I did."**_ Karen whispered with choked voice and still sobbing. You didn't answer, you just rubbed her back. You knew that those words were hard for her to say, so you appreciated it. Then she finally moved away and wiped her tears away. _**"I don't want anybody to know about this; I want you to forget about this; just pretend that this never happened, that you never hugged me and that I never cried." **_

_**"Why would you want to hide the best of you?"**_ You asked frowning, looking at her.

_**"Just pretend it, please. I don't want anybody to know that I'm weak." **_She said in a whisper, concerned.

_**"All right, if that is what you want. Don't worry, I won't tell anybody and I won't tell all the things you've done neither the good things nor the bad things."**_ You answered shrugging but kind of disappointed. You thought that the hug would make her think or feel different. _**"I wish someday you could show the world how you truly are, so then you'll feel better and happier. But I guess it'll take time for you to accept yourself as the way you are. You know, everybody hurts and everybody feels down sometimes, you shouldn't be ashamed of it; but after all, you're the only one who can decide what to show or not."**_ You said quiet and Karen just looked away.

_**"Maybe..."**_ She whispered still looking away and concerned. _**"Would you tell the principal..?"**_

_**"No, I won't say anything; at least I won't give him your name."**_ You interrupted her and she looked at you thankful.

_**"Why are you doing this? Why are you being nice to me after all I've done to you?"**_ She asked bemused.

_**"I already told you, because at heart, you and I aren't so different and I know how it feels when you make a mistake and you don't know how to apologize, when you can't find the way to hold on and move on, when you feel alone and rejected, misunderstood and lost. Because with time I learned that it's impossible not to get hurt and when people hurt you, you have to forgive them; because, after all, they're humans like me and humans make lots of mistakes. And because, as I already said, I believe that everybody is good at heart, despite everything. That's why." **_You answered looking fixedly at her, in a soft way. Karen just looked at you troubled and stricken and then she nodded.

_**"Right."**_ She whispered, looking down. But then she looked up to you with her eyes filled in tears. _**"Now I get why Darren has chosen you; now I understand why he loves you."**_ She said with choked voice and you looked down, now really not knowing what to say. _**"Whatever, I gotta go to school."**_

_**"Right."**_ You said shortly, not knowing what else to say.

_**"Bye."**_ She greeted with a faint smile looking at you and you nodded.

Then she looked behind you, surely to look at Darren, but she quickly looked away anguished; now turning around to leave. You stayed silent looking how she was walking away. You thought that this was the oddest situation you've ever been through; not only because you finally found out why Karen did all she did, but also because you finally stood up for something, because you finally could face the person who bullied you and you even forgave her. It was weird, but it felt good. You felt different; you've changed and you liked that change. Then you felt how Darren stood behind you and placed his hands on your waist and rested his chin on your shoulder.

_**"You forgave her."**_ He whispered, also looking at the direction where Karen was walking.

_**"I did."**_ You answered also in a whisper.

_**"I admire you."**_ He said now looking at you and then he kissed your cheek. _**"What you did, it's admirable; it's remarkable. Do you realize what you did? You faced her and you forgave her."**_

_**"I know, it's crazy."**_ You said amazed. You were feeling really weird.

_**"You're outstanding. Not everybody would have done what you did, not even me. See? That is one of the reasons why I love you this much."**_ Darren whispered now grabbing your chin to turn around your face and kiss your lips sweetly. _**"Never change, please."**_ He whispered in front of your lips and looking intensely into your eyes.

_**"I will try."**_ You smiled in front of his lips. You felt thrilled when he said 'never change'; it wasn't a big deal, but for you it meant a lot.

_**"Baby?"**_ Darren asked after a while in a whisper, while he was still holding you in his arms by your back and resting his chin on your shoulder; still both of you looking at nowhere in particular.

_**"Yeah?"**_ You asked deep in thought.

_**"Would you like to go to prom with me?"**_ He asked in a very cute way.

You turned your face to look at Darren surprised and thrilled. He was already looking at you in a fond way with a wide smile. This was the first time that a guy asked you to go to prom; and it was Darren the one who was asking you and this was very rousing. You placed a hand on his cheek and caressed it with your thumb with an affectionately smile.

_**"Of course I'd like it."**_ You replied, feeling happier than ever.

When he heard your answer, he smiled even more widely and laughed in joy before giving you a deep and sweet kiss.

* * *

_**"Dare, are you alright?"**_ Freckles asked curious, looking at me.

What would I answer her? I couldn't say yes because I'd be lying, but neither I could say no because I didn't want to screw this moment. Freckles didn't go back to high school and she was studying at her house, but the principal now knew that she wasn't the bully, so he apologized and he said that in her academic history won't figure that she was expelled. Freckles talked to Jen already and she told her everything that happened, so now Jen also knew everything as me. Jen told Freckles that she was sort of dating with my brother and Freckles didn't seem to be so surprised, maybe she has noticed it; I was still feeling weird by seeing Jen and Chuck together, but well, I couldn't do anything, after all they seemed to be doing fine. Anyway, now Freckles and I were in Golden Gate Park, in the Japanese Tea Garden, after Freckles spent hours trying to convince me to go there because she wanted a quiet stroll and a cup of tea and because she loved the variety of trees, flowers and bonsai trees, the water, the humpbacked bridges and small-scale pagodas; and I wanted to go to the Exploratium to have fun; but she won me because she wouldn't stop saying that it was a fantastic sunny day and we shouldn't waste it by being indoor. So now we were sitting on the grass, away from all the people; Freckles was reading a book and so then I started thinking about a lot of things. Graduation was really near and there were a lot of things that were worrying me. I still needed to tell Freckles something and I didn't know how to say it.

_**"I've got my admission letter from University of Michigan."**_ I said, looking down, playing with the grass.

_**"Really? And...?"**_ Freckles asked excited, with a wide smile.

_**"They accepted me."**_ I answered with a slight smile, now looking at her.

_**"Oh my god!"**_ She exclaimed loudly and excited, bouncing on the grass and then she pounced on me to hug me very tightly. _**"Congratulations, Dare! I knew you were going to get it! Oh my god, I'm so happy for you!" **_

_**"Yeah, thanks."**_ I said smiling and still hugging her. But she moved away to look at me frowning.

_**"I don't see you're happy, why? This is what you've always dreamed of."**_ She said suspiciously and I just looked down, feeling troubled. I stayed a long time in silence until I finally looked up into her eyes, feeling distressed and scared.

_**"What are we going to do after graduation when I can't see you every day?" **_I asked distressed, finally saying out loud what was worrying me.

She looked into my eyes afflicted with her lips parted, but she stayed silent for a while; then she finally looked down and started playing with her fingers; she was nervous. Surely she has also thought about this, but neither of us ever dared to talk about this, because we thought we still had time; but in two days it was the prom and after that I had to leave San Francisco. I couldn't postpone this conversation any longer because I couldn't take off of my mind the idea that I was going to be away from her after graduation, and that was killing me. I didn't want to be away from her. Freckles put her book aside and she sighed before looking at me again.

_**"Well... You have to think that every story has an ending, but in life every ending is a new beginning."**_ Freckles said with a faint smile, but there was still sadness in her eyes. When I heard her response I sighed and I looked down. She noticed that I didn't like that answer. _**"Listen Dare, I know that beginnings are scary and endings are sad, but it's the middle that counts the most. So don't look too hard for happy endings, because you might miss the best part of the story; that is this, what we have right now, in the present."**_

_**"What are you saying, baby?"**_ I asked frustrated and feeling even more anguished, and she looked at me distressed before looking down. _**"I don't want to hear those kinds of analogies or those kind of things that are ideal for a book or whatever but not for real life like now. This is real life and we have a problem that is that we're not gonna see each other for a very long time; it's a problem that is saddening me and is driving me nuts. And this is something that we both have to face now, because later it's gonna be too late and the two of us are gonna be away from each other. Haven't you thought about this? Doesn't it hurt you?"**_

_**"Yes, I thought about it and yes, it hurts me too much."**_ Freckles answered with choked voice looking down. _**"It always hurts to lose the one you love; but it's even worse to lose yourself while loving them. And I don't want you to lose yourself while loving me; because I know that what makes you be yourself is music and theatre and that is what you're going to study; that is why you're going to University of Michigan, to chase your dreams. It's time for you to go forth boldly in the direction of your dreams; and live the life you've imagined." **_

_**"I can't do that."**_ I said feeling stricken and feeling like a hole in my heart. Freckles looked at me just as anguished as before. _**"Yeah, I want to chase my dreams as you said; but I can't let you go. I'm scared that I'm gonna lose you, that I'm gonna feel lonely without you, that things will change when I'm gone. I'm scared."**_ I said with teary voice, trying to hold back my tears.

I was feeling terrible; I didn't want to think I wasn't going to be with her anymore. Freckles looked down and stayed silent for a while, playing with her fingers. She was doing it because I knew she was also trying to hold back her tears, I knew she was also feeling as terrible as me; but she wanted to cheer me up, so that is why she was trying to hold on; I knew it. She sighed and then she looked at me again, with teary eyes but not shedding tears.

_**"So this is the part where I'm supposed to tell you it's not scary."**_ She said giggling faintly but with sadness. _**"Well, it is. But fear is natural; fear is good; it just means you're growing. Do not let your fears take the place of your dreams. I'm not telling you it's going to be easy, I'm telling you it's going to be worth it."**_ Freckles said placing her hands above mine, smiling kindly at me. I tried to smile back at her, but I couldn't; so that was a sad smile and she noticed it, so she moved closer and she held both of my hands. _**"Sometimes you just have to remind yourself that it'll all be okay. Maybe not now, maybe not tomorrow, but one day. Say it enough that one day you'll actually believe it. Remind yourself that things have changed, they changed for a reason. You just have to let go and move on. It's going to be hard, and you're going to feel lonely, but just hold on, because who is to say tomorrow won't be the best day of your life?"**_ She said smiling encouragingly at me.

_**"I don't think that tomorrow will be the best day of my life, not if I'm not with you. I'm gonna be away from you and I think long distance relationships don't work out even if I'd really love it to work out; notice what happened with Chuck and his ex. So then what are we gonna be?" **_I asked distressed and exasperated.

_**"We will be friends, then; until we get to be back together, some day."**_ She answered shrugging with a slight smile, as if this was easy for her.

I sighed, looked down and shook my head; I didn't want it because I couldn't do it. Fuck, why did this have to be like this? Why couldn't we be together and nothing else?

_**"No..." **_I whispered afflicted and Freckles looked at me intensely.

_**"Darren, you have to understand that this is about your dreams and I wouldn't like you to give up on them because of us. It'd be stupid. Yes, I know it's hard, because I'm feeling it too the desperation of not having you anymore. But I do believe that time, someday and somehow, will bring us together; after the two of us get to accomplish our dreams. And right now, even if it hurts, you have to go your own way for all the dreams you've always dreamed of. Now it's time for that, later it's gonna be our time."**_ Freckles insisted, still holding both of my hands and now even closer and looking at me straight into my eyes intensely.

_**"Yeah, maybe."**_ I said weakly with choked voice, now not being able to hold back my tears for any longer.

I still didn't like this all, but I needed to stop being so pessimistic, because Freckles was doing her best to cheer me up, to encourage me; and for her this was just as hard as for me. When I started crying and I tried to wipe my tears, she held my hands and she wiped the tears for me with her thumb; looking at me sadly. She caressed my cheek fondly as she was looking at me deeply into my eyes. Then she smiled warmly at me, while still caressing my cheek.

_**"Listen, Dare..."**_ She said softly and sweetly. _**"As we go on, we have to remember all the times we spent together and as our lives change come whatever, we will still be friends forever; because, after all, we can grow separately without growing apart. Because even though we change and we're finding our own place in the world, we know that when tears fall or the smile spreads across our face, we'll come to each other because no matter where this crazy world takes us, nothing will ever change so much to the point where we're not still friends or lovers. And though we're off to different worlds, somehow we're together; because deep within our heart, these memories are made forever. So don't feel sad; because you're always going to be right with me and I'm always going to be right with you, even if we are miles apart. Screw those miles."**_ She said giggling softly in between tears and that made me giggle, also in between tears.

So then we both looked at each other with a fond smile before hugging tightly. I hugged her as if this was going to be the last hug; as if this was going to be the last time I was going to touch her, to feel the warmth of her body, to smell her, to feel her skin and to caress her hair. I was sad; but now at least I was feeling as if I was never going to forget her, as if I was going to meet her soon and talk just as much as now, telling my experiences in there and she telling her experiences in here. Yeah, I was going to miss her like hell, but I was going to do everything to come back to her. This wasn't a break up, this was a 'We'll come back together soon'. Still, I wanted to hold onto her. So when we broke the hug, I looked deeply into her eyes, grabbing both of her cheeks.

_**"Promise me, you won't forget our laughs, our jokes, our smiles, our conversations, our plans, our tears, our memories, our experiences, our friendship, our love."**_ I whispered while she was looking at me with teary eyes but with an affective smile.

_**"I promise, Dare."**_ She said and she leaned to kiss me.

We kissed for a long time, also as if this was going to be the last kiss. It was a sweet and tender kiss at the beginning, and then it turned into a passionate and very emotional kiss; and it ended in several short and tender pecks.

_**"I'm gonna miss you, baby; everything of you, everything of us. I can't say goodbye to you, I can't."**_ I whispered in front of her lips while I still had my eyes closed and I was nuzzling her nose with mine.

_**"So do not say goodbye."**_ She whispered and I finally opened my eyes to look at her; she was still smiling. _**"You know, you've taught me a lot, one of those things is that you taught me how to appreciate music and to feel identified with a song. And I have a perfect song for us now." **_

_**"Are you gonna sing to me?"**_ I asked looking at her with a wide smile.

She was too cute and I loved whenever she wanted to sing to me; even if she wasn't the best singer, even if she couldn't sing in tune. I loved it because she was ashamed of singing, but she did it anyway because she knew I loved it. She was such a sweetheart.

_**"Will do. If you don't mind to hear my scratchy and shaky voice."**_ She said chuckling and I laughed shaking my head; man, she was adorable.

_**"I already told you; I love when you sing. So just rock it!"**_ I said laughing and she giggled amused. Immediately, she started singing and I shut up to listen to her.

_Now what if I never kiss your lips again_

_Or feel the touch of your sweet embrace_

_How would I ever go on?_

_Without you there's no place to belong_

_Well someday love is going to lead you back to me_

_But till it does I'll have an empty heart_

_So I'll just have to believe_

_Somewhere out there you're thinkin' of me_

_Till the day I let you go_

_Until we say our next hello it's not goodbye_

_Till I see you again_

_I'll be right here remembering when_

_And if time is on our side_

_There will be no tears to cry on down the road_

_There is one thing I can't deny it's not goodbye_

_You think I'd be strong enough to make it through_

_And rise above when the rain falls down_

_But it's so hard to be strong_

_When you've been missing somebody so long_

_It's just a matter of time I'm sure_

_Well time takes time and I can't hold on_

_So won't you try as hard as you can_

_Put my broken heart together again?_

_Till the day I let you go_

_Until we say our next hello it's not goodbye_

_Till I see you again_

_I'll be right here remembering when_

_And if time is on our side_

_There will be no tears to cry on down the road_

_There is one thing I can't deny it's not goodbye_

_Hey, yeah it's not goodbye_

_Till the day I'll let you go_

_Until we say our next hello it's not goodbye_

_Till I see you again_

_I'll be right here remembering when_

_And if time is on our side_

_There will be no tears to cry on down the road_

_And I can't deny it's, not goodbye_

_Till the day I'll let you go_

_Until we say our next hello it's not goodbye_

_Till I see you_

_I'll be right here remembering when_

_And if time is on our side_

_There will be no tears to cry on down the road_

_And I can't deny it's, not goodbye_

_It's, not goodbye_

_Goodbye_

_No more tears to cry_

_It's not goodbye_.

When she finished singing, she smiled at me warmly with teary eyes and she wrapped her arms around me and rested her head on my lap. I wrapped my arms around her and I started caressing her hair before leaning to kiss her head while shedding tears, but not sad tears. I held her in my arms tightly, I rested my head on hers and we stayed like this in silence for a while.

_**"Thank you, baby. That was the perfect song."**_ I said with chocked voice, feeling how much I loved the little girl I had in my arms now. Then I lifted her chin to make her look at me._** "I love you so much and that's not gonna change. Now I understand what you tried to say when you said that we're gonna be together even if we're miles apart. I love you." **_

_**"Love you too."**_ She said with teary voice because she was thrilled.

And we kissed again. This time this was a soft but long kiss, it was more like we were pressing our lips together while caressing each other. This was the kiss I was going to remember when I would be gone. Yeah, how would I stop loving her? Never ever that was going to change no matter how distant we were going to be from each other. It was hard to grow separately from her, but I knew that someday and somehow I was going to be with her again as she said. I knew I was meant to be with her.

* * *

_**"What did you say?"**_ Your sister asked concerned.

_**"That what you heard, Mandy. After the prom, Darren and I are going to spend the weekend together and alone, we rented a hotel room on the outskirts of the city."**_ You explained feeling a bit annoyed; the last you needed was to be reproached for this.

_**"You cannot just rent a hotel room to spend a weekend alone with a guy!"**_ Mandy exclaimed looking at you in disbelief.

_**"Why not, huh?"**_ You asked annoyed, looking at your sister frowning and she mumbled some nonsensical things because she actually didn't know what to say or she didn't know how to say it.

_**"Because... Because you're a girl... And he's a guy... And you're gonna be alone..."**_ Mandy started saying awkwardly.

_**"Yeah... And?"**_ You asked even more annoyed, now searching for the dress you were going to wear that night. Mandy stayed silent for a while, but still babbling.

_**"Have you already had sex with Darren?" **_Mandy asked gingerly and you stopped searching the dress to turn around and look at her incredulous. You felt how you were blushing hard.

_**"What?"**_ You asked loudly and astonished. _**"No! Why would you ask that?"**_

_**"I was just checking, okay?"**_ Mandy replied quickly and on de defensive; she was also ashamed. _**"Listen... You won't cheat me; I know what's going to happen if you and Darren go to that hotel room alone for a whole weekend! You... You'll sleep in the same bed and you're going to be very close and... And well..."**_ She started babbling while feeling uncomfortable while you were still looking at her incredulous.

_**"Mandy! I've already slept in the same bed with Darren several times and never anything happened."**_ You said interrupting her, still astonished.

_**"Well, but it was different! You slept with him in the same bed but it was at his home or at our home, when your families were around! Of course never anything happened in that way. But now you're gonna be completely alone and it's gonna be different. I know what happens in those kinds of situations and you and Darren will end up..."**_ Mandy started saying still uncomfortable.

_**"Amanda, stop!"**_ You exclaimed loudly and upset and she stayed silent. _**"Nothing is gonna happen. If he and I are going to a hotel room to spend the weekend alone is only because after the weekend, Darren will leave San Francisco to go to Ann Arbor and we want to be together as much as we can before he leaves."**_

_**"I see, fine."**_ Mandy replied still unsure, but didn't say anything. _**"How are you both taking this issue that he's leaving and you're gonna stay here?"**_

_**"Good, I guess."**_ You answered curtly because you didn't want to think about it. Yes, you reassured him that day, but the truth was that you were really sad about the fact he wasn't going to be with you anymore.

_**"You'll miss him, won't you?"**_ Mandy asked and you tried to search the dress again to keep your mind busy and not feel sad in front of her.

_**"Yes."**_ You answered curtly again. _**"But it's just a matter of time, so we're gonna be fine, I guess."**_

_**"Yes, that is right. It's just like you and me; I'm gonna be away from San Francisco, well, not so away but away anyway; but we're gonna still be in touch and we won't grow apart. It's the same." **_Mandy said shrugging and you felt even worse.

Not only Darren was going to leave the city; your sister was also going to leave San Francisco to go to Los Angeles to study Fashion Design at Otis College of Art and Design; Jen also was going to leave San Francisco to go to Detroit at Wayne State University to study Psychology; Chuck was going back to college to study Music at Trinity College. Even Brian was leaving the city also to go to University of Michigan, but to study English Language and Literature. And you were going to stay here alone, completely alone; all your friends were leaving. Again, you tried to think about something else not to cry.

_**"Yes, I guess it's the same. Have you seen my dress? I can't find it."**_ You said trying to change the topic of conversation.

_**"Yes, it's right there."**_ Mandy said pointing you the dress that was in a chair. How couldn't you have seen it? You walked to there and grabbed the dress. _**"Why are you looking for the dress now? We still have time to go to prom. And you won't wear that dress; I'll give you one of mine." **_

_**"What's the problem with this dress?"**_ You asked frowning because for you it was fine.

_**"That dress is very unfashionable and you'll look like a granny. No way you're wearing it."**_ Mandy replied serious.

_**"Whatever."**_ You sighed. _**"Your dresses won't fit on me. I'm fat and you're skinny, so it won't work."**_

_**"Shut up. We already had this kind of conversation and we agreed that you aren't fat. I have the perfect dress for you; Darren will faint as soon as he gets to see you."**_ Mandy said excited with a wide smile and you opened your mouth to start complaining but she interrupted you. _**"You will wear that dress and you won't argue. End of this conversation."**_

_**"Fine, fine."**_ You complained annoyed and threw the dress to the floor. Then you walked to your bed and lay down there, feeling irritated but actually sad. Your sister walked to there too and she lay down next to you.

_**"It's not bad to feel sad for someone that you love who is gonna leave. Do not pretend to be annoyed when you're feeling sad instead."**_ Mandy said softly and you looked at her wondering how the hell she found it out. _**"Yes, I've been there too, you know? That is why I know how you feel; and besides because you're my little sister and I know you pretty well." **_She said smiling slightly as you were looking at the ceiling. _**"You feel sad now but life goes on and you'll get better. Do not think that you're gonna lose your boyfriend and your friends; they'll stay in your life only that living in different places. And in the blink of an eye, you'll be together again, eventually. Right now, all you have to do is to enjoy while they're still here and you can't do it while you're feeling down thinking about the future; just enjoy the present." **_

_**"I know I have to do it. But I don't choose to feel like this, I just feel like this."**_ You said sighing and gloomy.

_**"I know, sis. But just forget it, forget that they're leaving and think about how amazing this night is gonna be. And... And think about the weekend you're gonna spend with your boyfriend alone."**_ Mandy said encouragingly and you looked at her in disbelief.

_**"I thought you didn't like the idea of me being in a hotel room alone with Darren." **_You said looking at Mandy and raising an eyebrow.

_**"No, don't get me wrong. It's not that I don't like the idea; actually I think it's a really good idea."**_ Mandy said and you looked at her very confused. _**"I was just trying to prevent some things before you leave..."**_

_**"Prevent what?"**_ You asked looking at her fixedly.

_**"Well, you know, I'm going to put forward some things that could happen when you and Darren get to be alone in that hotel room based on my experience."**_ Mandy said taking a deep breath. _**"The time for when Darren has to leave is coming closer and both you and Darren will feel touchy and affectionate, trying to make the most of every second together that you have left. Everything will be more intense, warmer, more yearning; you'll find comfort in the arms of each other for those moments when you start to feel the anguish and nostalgia, so you'll be very close."**_ Mandy said quiet and you were listening to her intently. _**"And the two of you will be carried away by love. And it could end up in an intimate way, it'd be normal."**_

_**"I don't think..."**_ You started saying, feeling very uncomfortable and embarrassed.

_**"Listen sis, there's nothing wrong with being intimate with someone; being intimate doesn't mean necessary to have sex with someone; being intimate with someone provides strong emotional attachments; it also includes holding hands, hugging, kissing, cuddling, tickling, caressing, and leg-to-leg touching." **_Mandy said looking at you deeply into your eyes and you were feeling very uncomfortable as she seemed to be tranquil. _**"You really love Darren, don't you? I mean, you're very sure that Darren is the only guy with who you imagine to spend your life, right?"**_

_**"Yes."**_ You answered honestly.

_**"Well, have you ever had a desire to have physical intimacy with Darren?" **_Your sister asked and you felt very embarrassed, you didn't want to answer it because it was very private. You felt how you started blushing.

_**"I... I... I don't want to answer that..."**_ You stammered, feeling very uncomfortable. The answer was yes, but that was something that nobody knew, not even Darren; it was very embarrassing for you.

_**"Listen, sis...To desire occasional physical intimacy is a natural part of human sexuality, so you shouldn't be ashamed to feel that desire."**_ Mandy said softly, very tranquil while you were still feeling ashamed. You have never talked to someone about this. _**"It's about to let someone entering into your personal space, such as to make physical contact and that's an indicator of affection, as an expression of feelings which people have for one another." **_She said smiling slightly as if this was the most normal thing in the world as for you it was something private and intimate. _**"I don't know why sex is like a dirty word in this society; as if it's something wrong that you shouldn't do. I don't think it's like that, sex exists since forever and it's a natural and ancient way to express feelings of love."**_ Mandy said shrugging and you were listening to her, now starting to feel less embarrassed. _**"Sexual intercourse with the person you love can play a strong role in human bonding, leading to stronger emotional bonds and build trust; it even helps dissipate feelings of sadness or depression and it makes you experiencing deep emotional connection and the profound feeling of mutual caring. Sex reinforces intimate social bonds between individuals to form larger social structures and allows to gain the skills necessary for high-quality relationships later in life and to develop feelings of self-worth." **_Mandy said smiling and you frowned. You never thought about sex in this way and when she said it like that, then you started to think that maybe it wasn't actually something about you should feel embarrassed of. _**"But you have to be responsible. If you are gonna have sex, you need to be sure that it is with the person you love, with the person you want to spend your life. And also you have to take care and have safe sex practice by using the adequate protection such as condoms to avoid the transmission of sexually transmitted infections; and contraceptive methods such as the Pill for women and also condoms, to prevent pregnancy. If you practice safe sex, then there's nothing wrong with it."**_

_**"Thanks, Mandy, for talking to me about this."**_ You finally said with a slight smile.

_**"You don't have to thank me, it was a talk that I needed to have with you, considering that your thing with Darren is something serious."**_ She said smiling friendly. _**"Does mom know that you're going to spend the whole weekend alone with Darren?"**_

_**"No, not yet... I wanted to tell her, but you know..."**_ You said nervously, looking away.

_**"I know, she won't let you go."**_ Mandy replied. _**"Let's do something... You just go with Darren and do not tell mom. I'll make up something such as you were going to spend the weekend with Jen or something, and I'll tell her that I'm going too. It'll help me too, because I really want to do something else this weekend." **_

_**"What do you want to do?"**_ You asked curious.

_**"There's a conference about fashion design in Los Angeles and I thought that maybe I could go, but mom wouldn't let me go. So... Maybe I can take advantage of this."**_ She answered shrugging and you nodded. It was fair enough. _**"Well, I think we need to get ready for the prom now..."**_ She said standing up. _**"Come on, I'll show you the dress you're going to wear. And maybe I could lend you some sexy underwear, so you'll impress Darren."**_ Mandy said winking and giggling.

_**"Oh my God, stop it, Amanda."**_ You said shaking your head in disbelief but anyway, you also giggled.

It has been a while since the last time you giggled since you were all the time sad because Darren, Mandy and all your friends were going to leave San Francisco. So this was a good thing. And now, instead feeling sad, you were feeling excited to go to prom with Darren and to spend the weekend only with him. Maybe this weekend your bond was going to become stronger and it'd be easier to maintain a long-distance relationship. That was all you wanted, to be with Darren no matter where he was; you only wanted him forever.

* * *

_**"Oh shit!"**_ I exclaimed nervously.

_**"You're gonna have a heart attack, relax, bro."**_ Chuck said laughing.

_**"Shut up."**_ I replied annoyed. _**"How do I look?"**_

_**"Terrible. You betrayed the Hobbit community by wearing a suit."**_ Chuck answered making fun of me and he laughed out loud.

_**"You idiot!"**_ I exclaimed annoyed but because I was nervous, in another opportunity surely I'd have laughed. _**"I was asking Jen, not you."**_ I said now looking at Jen. _**"So? How do I look?"**_

_**"As if you were Shaggy or Scooby-Doo when they find a monster; nervous pretty much all the time." **_Jen replied serious but then she burst out laughing and she high-fived Chuck.

_**"You both are the most stupid people in the world, goddammit!"**_ I huffed in annoyance while they were still laughing.

_**"Relax, bro! This is not the end of the world! You look cute for the first time in your life; she'll love you more this night."**_ Chuck said still amused, chuckling.

_**"Okay, okay."**_ I said still feeling nervous.

_**"Darren, if you keep acting like that, you'll scare her. Right now I'm starting to think that you're a sort of psychopath and I think that soon I'll run away because I have fear for my life."**_ Jen said making fun of me and I looked at her disgruntled.

_**"You know? One day I'll revenge, I swear I will." **_I said trying to ignore their comments and then I took a deep breath to calm down before knocking the door of Freckles' house.

Finally it was the prom night and I was very eager and nervous; I don't know why exactly I was feeling like this; it was as if this was going to be the last night with all my peers, this was going to be maybe the last time I was going to see some of them; this night was going to mark an ending and a new beginning; maybe for that I was nervous. And I was eager because I wanted to see Freckles, I wanted to spend this night with her and I was anxious to spend the weekend with her alone; I was eager to see her because I wanted to be with her all the time as possible. I already admitted the fact that I was going to have to get used to not see her very often as now; so as long as I was still with her, I wanted to exploit to the fullest her companionship. Then I heard steps coming closer to the door and I felt even more nervous; man, why?

_**"Hello guys."**_ Natalie greeted cheerfully looking at all of us. _**"Please, come in. I'll tell the girls that you're already here." **_

So we did and Natalie went upstairs, leaving us in the living room. Chuck and Jen were the first to sit on the couch together, holding hands. I looked at them before sitting in the other couch alone; still was weird for me to see them together, I thought that I was never going to get used to see them like that; but oh well. The first to get down was Natalie, of course.

_**"The girls will come in a moment. So, are you excited for tonight?"**_ She asked smiling widely.

_**"Yes."**_ I answered also smiling widely.

_**"Darren is the most excited. He wouldn't stop asking if he was looking good and he wouldn't stop feeling anxious and nervous."**_ Jen replied giggling and I looked at her in disbelief.

_**"Thanks, Jen."**_ I whispered irked. Natalie only laughed softly. If I was feeling nervous before, it was nothing compared to now.

_**"Yes, I remember my prom, a long time ago."**_ Natalie said still laughing. _**"I was just as nervous. I wanted it to be perfect, so perfect that at the end I didn't enjoy it as much as I should because I was nervous. So you should relax and just enjoy this perfect night that it's already perfect itself." **_

_**"That is what we tried to convince him, but he wouldn't listen."**_ Chuck said shaking his head and I looked at him annoyed. That was a lie; they were only making fun of me all the way here.

_**"Darren, just relax sweetheart; this will be a good night."**_ Natalie said smiling kindly.

_**"I... I'm relaxed.**_" I replied shyly, looking down. Everybody burst out laughing, even Natalie. Oh great! This was unbelievable.

Fortunately, Mandy saved me when she came downstairs. Everybody looked at her amazed, even Jen; she was known for being the sexiest girl in school, but tonight, even if it seemed impossible, she was even sexier. She was wearing a long white and red dress with a very provocative plunging neckline, provocative but very classy; and her lips were more attractive than ever in a furious red. No one said anything at all because we all were busy looking at her.

_**"So?" **_Mandy asked with a slight smile, going around. _**"How do I look?"**_

_**"You look pretty, Mandy."**_ I said smiling, still looking at her amazed.

_**"Yeah, most definitely."**_ Chuck replied open-mouthed, looking at her goofily.

_**"All the guys in the prom will leave their partners to get a chance to dance with you."**_ Jen answered nodding, also open-mouthed.

_**"The guy who's going with you to prom is a very lucky guy."**_ I said smiling friendly at her and she smiled slightly.

_**"Thank you, bro-in-law."**_ Mandy said politely. _**"But I'm going to prom alone."**_ She answered and I felt terrible.

Oh man, I didn't know that. Everybody looked at me as 'Darren, you screwed it'. Now I was feeling very guilty for saying that and I reminded myself that I still needed to learn how to shut up and don't speak more than I should. Why would she go alone anyway? It was hard to believe considering that surely all the guys in school wanted to go with her to prom, so it was impossible to believe that no one asked her.

_**"I... I'm sorry, didn't know."**_ I said awkwardly, still feeling guilty.

_**"Oh, no, it's alright. It was my decision; I didn't want to go to anybody. I'm better off alone."**_ She said smiling and shrugging and I felt less guilty. There was an uncomfortable silence for a while, but Mandy broke it by changing the topic of conversation. _**"Oh, if I impressed you... Wait to see my sister, she's gonna kill it!"**_ Mandy said bouncing excited with a huge smile. When she mentioned Freckles, my heart skipped a beat and I started feeling nervous and eager again.

_**"Why is she taking so long?"**_ I asked loudly. Oh shit, it wasn't my intention to say it loudly. Now everybody was looking at me amused.

_**"Good things take time."**_ Mandy answered, winking and giggling. _**"Why? Are you that desperate to see my little sister?"**_ Mandy asked amused and everybody in the room chuckled softly as I blushed hard, shifting on the couch, uncomfortable.

_**"No!"**_ I exclaimed quickly and loudly. I thought that I couldn't have sounded more awkward and dork. _**"I was just wondering..." **_I added in a whisper.

_**"All right, if you say that."**_ Mandy replied still amused. _**"You know, there are pills to control nervousness. You could use some of that."**_ She said making fun of me and I sighed, shaking my head. Man, why was everybody thinking that I was nervous?

_**"Very funny."**_ I answered, raising an eyebrow and then looking away to avoid all the looks.

After an uncomfortable silence and amused glances directed at me, I finally heard some steps getting down. Freckles, I thought, and my heart skipped a beat as I started feeling more nervous and eager. Then a beautiful and flawless girl walked into the living room: Freckles. Oh geez! She was splendid wearing that strapless evening red dress, it was a sheath dress that fitted close to her body and defined her waist; but it was very short and I didn't like it, not because it didn't look well on her, but because everybody would look at her. And man, she had something on her face and her hair; I couldn't tell what, but she looked radiant and flaming. And wow, that pretty girl was my date. I couldn't say anything because I was still admiring her as she was smiling radiantly.

_**"Oh my God."**_ Chuck was the first to exclaim. Apparently he was just as amazed as me. _**"Mandy, you weren't wrong when you said that she was going to kill it; but I'd change it and I'd say that she's gonna kill every single man in the prom." **_

_**"And also every single girl."**_ Jen exclaimed also amazed. _**"Freckles, I swear I'd turn into lesbian only for you."**_ Jen said dumbfounded and Freckles giggled softly as everybody in the room; except me; I was still busy admiring that beauty in front of me.

_**"Darren, won't you say something?"**_ Mandy asked looking at me fixedly and amused. Oh fuck, I didn't know what to say because I was feeling so silly and so insignificant in front of the grand presence of Freckles.

_**"Uhm, well... Isn't that dress too short?" **_I said awkwardly like the biggest jerk as Freckles looked at herself frowning. I heard giggles coming from Chuck and Jen.

_**"Really?"**_ Mandy asked in disbelief, raising an eyebrow. _**"You were so impatient to see her and the first thing you say is that? Seriously, Criss?" **_

_**"It's alright, Mandy."**_ Freckles whispered shyly and she was blushing now. Then she looked at me, just as shyly. _**"Don't you like how I look?"**_ She asked ashamed.

_**"Oh no, I love it."**_ I said quickly, still feeling awkward. _**"But... But..."**_ I stammered like an idiot. _**"But the dress is too short and tight and all the guys won't take their eyes off you and I won't like it."**_ I whispered looking at her and she frowned.

_**"Oh Criss, come on!"**_ Mandy exclaimed loudly in disbelief. _**"What if other guys look at her?"**_

_**"I just don't want it."**_ I replied annoyed, feeling already jealous for no reason.

_**"What, bro? Are you afraid that your girlfriend will want to go with someone more handsome and classy than you?"**_ Chuck asked laughing, obviously making fun of me.

_**"Shut up."**_ I said annoyed.

_**"Criss, I can't believe it. Instead feeling stunned by the girl you have, you're worrying about other guys."**_ Mandy said incredulous.

_**"Guys, stop..."**_ Freckles said shyly, looking down. _**"Mandy, I told you that wearing this dress wasn't a good idea. I should have worn the other dress."**_ Freckles said embarrassed and still looking down. _**"If you don't mind waiting a little more, I'll change this dress."**_

_**"What? No! You look beautiful, sis."**_ Mandy exclaimed alarmed.

_**"No, I look ridiculous."**_ Freckles replied ashamed. _**"Be right back, you can go to the prom if you want, I'll go there later." **_Freckles said turning around and leaving the room really fast before I could say something.

_**"Criss, do something, this is your fault!"**_ Mandy exclaimed looking at me kind of mad.

_**"That's right, Darren. Freckles was hoping to hear something nice from you because she dressed like that only for you and you just made her feel bad."**_ Jen reproached me.

_**"It's needless to mention what I think, bro." **_Chuck said serious, shrugging.

_**"I didn't want to make her feel..."**_ I started saying feeling very guilty, but Mandy interrupted me.

_**"You shouldn't explain us anything; you should be explaining this to my sister."**_ Mandy said, crossing her arms and looking at me very serious.

I nodded and I left the living room to follow Freckles. She wasn't downstairs anymore, so I walked upstairs and I walked directly to her bedroom when I saw that she wasn't in the corridor. Before entering into her bedroom, I knocked the door, but she didn't answer so I slowly opened the door to enter into her bedroom very shyly. She was there with her back to the door, trying to unzip her dress to take it off and I quickly walked to her to stop her. When I placed my hands above hers by her back, she turned around, shivered and looked at me as if she hasn't noticed that someone was there in the bedroom. When I saw her teary eyes, I felt completely terrible. I was such a jerk.

_**"You should be downstairs, Darren. I won't take so long to change this dress."**_ She said looking down and trying to walk away from me, but I quickly grabbed her by her waist.

_**"No, do not change your dress."**_ I said looking at her even though she was still avoiding my gaze. _**"You look beautiful." **_

_**"No."**_ She said with choked voice, shaking her head. _**"I look like a slut." **_

_**"What the fuck? Of course not!"**_ I exclaimed alarmed and frowning.

_**"Yes, I do. I look ridiculous and awful and I told Mandy that wearing this dress wasn't a good idea because I'm fat and ugly and I don't look pretty, I look and I feel so stupid wearing this dress that is only for pretty and skinny girls."**_ She said very fast, slurring her words, with teary voice and still looking down as I felt some tears falling in my hands.

_**"What you just said is a bunch of crap."**_ I said feeling upset with myself for making her feel that way. She didn't look up and she didn't say anything. _**"You're not fat, you're not ugly and you don't look stupid. You look and you are the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. If the first thing I could say to you was that the dress was short, it wasn't because you didn't look amazing. It was because you indeed look amazing and first, I didn't know what the hell I should say because I was admiring your beauty; and second, because I'm a jealous guy and I wouldn't stand seeing how other guys look at you."**_ I said trying to look into her eyes but it was being hard to do because she wouldn't stop looking down. _**"You're pretty, very pretty that the first thing I thought when I saw you was: Whoa, is she real? Is that lovely girl my girlfriend? What a lucky guy that I am!"**_ I exclaimed smiling brightly at her even though she wasn't looking at me.

_**"Do not lie to me."**_ She said gloomy. _**"I'm pretty aware that I'm not pretty, Darren."**_

_**"No."**_ I exclaimed loudly, shaking my head. _**"Hey, look at me."**_ I said lifting softly her chin and finally I could see her big and teary eyes. _**"You are gorgeous and I love the way you look tonight."**_ I said firmly, smiling fondly at her.

_**"Do you really think that I look pretty with this dress?"**_ She asked shyly, looking at me with a hint of hope.

_**"No..."**_ I answered shaking my head. _**"You don't look pretty. You look outstanding."**_ I whispered caressing her cheek before leaning to kiss her lips softly.

_**"You look handsome."**_ She whispered in front of my lips with a sweet smile and I smiled back.

_**"I just hope to be at your level."**_ I giggled softly. _**"Come on, let's go to enjoy this night. Just a little warning..."**_ I said frowning slightly as I was holding her hand, walking downstairs. _**"You better don't walk away from me tonight. I want you to be with me all the night long... Just in case there's any rogue and bounder guy."**_ I said serious but she laughed anyway.

_**"Deal."**_ She answered still laughing.

Everything was going pretty well until we arrived at the party. Shit, I wanted to punch everybody there, why the hell do they have to look at my girl? I held her hand very firmly and I pulled her even closer to me, so that everybody would know that Freckles was mine and no one had the right to look at her and less to talk to her. As we walked by, all the girls in the salon were looking at her from head to toe, whispering things that I couldn't hear, but looking at her frowning. I looked at Freckles and she seemed to be very uncomfortable.

_**"They're just jealous because you're the prettiest in here."**_ I whispered in her ear and she smiled faintly but not convinced.

Anyway, what worried me weren't the girls; the problem was the boys. Not even a single guy didn't turn to look at her. Some of them tried to dissimulate, but some of them made it very obvious, looking at her from head to toe open-mouthed and almost drooling. When I caught a guy looking at her ass, I looked at him in a rage and in a menacing way.

_**"What are you looking, huh?"**_ I asked harshly and the guy stopped drooling while looking at her ass to look at me kind of scared.

_**"Nothing, dude! I was just admiring the panorama."**_ The guy answered and it was such my anger that I was about to walk to him and punch him, but Freckles took me by my arm to stop me.

_**"Stay away, clear?"**_ I said menacingly and the guy looked at me astonished.

_**"Alright, dude. Chill out!"**_ The guy replied and then he turned around to leave, not before looking at Freckles' ass again.

_**"Darren, you need to calm down; you're overreacting and picturing things that aren't."**_ Freckles whispered in my ear.

_**"Baby, that asshole was looking at your ass without dissimulation."**_ I replied defensively and still feeling upset and then Freckles giggled softly.

_**"You're so cute like this, but really; no one was looking at my ass. Stop it, okay? Just focus on spending a good time with me and all of your friends."**_ She said smiling cheerfully and that made me smile.

So we went to a table to sit and drink something to get in the mood. People were already dancing and everybody seemed to be enjoying it. But actually I wasn't paying attention to the people around, I was observing Freckles; damn she was really beautiful. What was I going to do after this party, after the weekend that we were going to spend together? I didn't want to think about it, I didn't want to admit the fact that I was going to be away from her; I just needed to enjoy this party with her, my first party with her. Then I remembered something: I have never ever danced with her and I've never ever seen her dancing. I really wanted to dance with her. Jen, Chuck and Mandy were already dancing but I preferred to stay with Freckles, but now that I remembered that, I wanted to ask her to dance.

_**"Baby, do you wanna go over there to move our bodies to the beat of the music?"**_ I asked cheerfully and she giggled.

_**"I can't dance."**_ She answered shyly._** "But why don't you go and dance with your friends? Maybe you could dance with Mandy."**_

_**"No, I don't wanna dance with Mandy; I want to dance with you. Come on, if you can't dance, I'll teach you. Please, please, please."**_ I begged exaggeratedly and she giggled again.

_**"No... Maybe later..."**_ She answered smiling uncomfortable and unsure. _**"You should go, Darren. Have fun with your friends, it's your prom. I'll be right here, seeing how you move your body."**_ She said chuckling.

_**"No, if you don't come, I'm not going."**_ I answered.

_**"Oh come on, Dare. Go and dance and have fun. Maybe later I'll join you."**_ She said trying to convince me but I shook my head. _**"Please? Do it for me?" **_She asked looking at me with a kind of look that I knew pretty well: it was the same puppy dog eyes that I used to make whenever I wanted something. Dammit, it really had a good convincing power.

_**"Oh shit. I hate that, do not copy my techniques."**_ I said pretending to be annoyed but I was pretty amused.

_**"Please?"**_ She said again with the same puppy eyes as I looked at her in disbelief, shaking my head and giggling.

_**"All right, but just for a while and then you're gonna be forced to dance with me." **_I said firmly as she smiled brightly.

_**"Yes, deal."**_ She said still smiling and then she leaned to peck my lips very softly and then I kissed her back, this time more fiercely. _**"Go and have fun, Dare."**_

I nodded with a bright smile and then I stood up to walk to Mandy so I could dance with her that was alone, even though a lot of guys tried to dance with her. When I reached her, I looked at her amused.

_**"Are you also gonna reject my offer of dancing with you?"**_ I asked with an amused smile and she laughed, shaking her head.

_**"I have to think about it, but I guess I can make an exception and dance with you."**_ She answered, continuing with the joke.

_**"Oh whoa! I feel flattered now."**_ I laughed amused as I placed my hands in her waist and she placed her hands on my shoulders. _**"Is okay this way?"**_

_**"Yes, it's fine."**_ She said smiling slightly and then she leaned to whisper something in my ear. _**"Actually I should thank you for dancing with me, bro-in-law. Those guys were starting to annoy me." **_She whispered and I laughed out loud.

_**"Oh well, well. Now that I kind of saved you, now you'll have to help me."**_ I said in a mysterious way.

_**"Oh yeah? With what?"**_ She asked intrigued as we started dancing. She was a really good dancer, maybe Freckles was just as good as her sister.

_**"You have to convince your sister to dance with me. She's telling me that she can't dance and shit, so she wouldn't want to dance with me." **_I said in a whisper, as if this was a secret or more like a conspiracy. When Mandy heard this she laughed.

_**"She really can't dance."**_ Mandy answered still laughing. _**"Actually she's better than me because when she was young she took dance classes, but she's shy so she wouldn't dance in a crowded place and she'd pretend that she's a bad dancer."**_

_**"What the fuck?"**_ I asked in disbelief.

_**"Yeah, what the fuck. It's the same that I wonder. But well, I'll help you with that."**_ Mandy agreed with a smile of conspiracy.

_**"Good, thanks."**_ I answered with a smile and then I looked behind Mandy to look at Freckles, as I've been doing since I started talking to her just to check if any guy wanted to walk and talk to my girlfriend.

_**"Darren, you need to stop controlling her."**_ Mandy whispered serious and I looked at her._** "She's not gonna do anything and she won't let any guy to cross the line with her." **_

_**"I can't help it."**_ I said shrugging.

Then I looked at Freckles again. Brian was now sitting next to her, very close. They were laughing and very distracted to look at me. I knew that Brian probably wouldn't do anything because he helped her and me to be together again; but still, they were really close and I didn't like it at all. I felt really jealous and I attempted to go there and take her away from him, but Mandy took me by my arm.

_**"Darren, you need to trust on her."**_ Mandy said serious, looking at me straight in the eye.

_**"I do trust on her."**_ I answered frowning, still looking at Freckles and Brian and feeling jealous.

_**"It doesn't seem like that."**_ Mandy said quiet but firmly. _**"Just because a guy is talking to her, doesn't mean that the guy wants to bang her." **_

_**"What? I didn't think..."**_ I started defending myself.

_**"Yes, that is exactly what you're thinking." **_Mandy said serious, looking at me pointedly and raising an eyebrow.

_**"Well, sorry, but I can't help it. Since we arrived here, guys wouldn't stop looking at her and I want to kill everybody."**_ I said letting out my jealousy. Mandy looked at me amazed, raising her eyebrows and then she burst out laughing.

_**"Is that a bad thing that all the guys are looking at her?"**_ Mandy asked amused.

_**"Yes, it is. I don't like it."**_ I huffed in annoyance and I looked at Freckles and Brian again.

_**"Darren, let her feel beautiful at least only for tonight. She's not used at guys looking at her and she barely feels beautiful, so this is weird for her and I'm sure this is special for her. So let her feel that way, let her feel and experience new things; after all, you're still the one and only for her, she's yours."**_ Mandy said kind of supplicant and I sighed.

_**"All right. I'll try not to feel jealous."**_ I said now looking at Mandy to stop looking at Freckles to control her.

_**"Good."**_ Mandy answered smiling joyfully. We danced for a while as I tried not to look at Freckles again, until Mandy whispered something. _**"Maybe you could try now to ask my sister to dance."**_ She said winking and I nodded. I really wanted to dance with my girlfriend but I couldn't leave Mandy alone.

"_**What about you?"**_ I asked.

"_**Oh, I'll be fine. However, I need to rest; I've been dancing for hours."**_ She said shrugging and smiling.

Before I left Mandy, I looked at Freckles directly into her eyes; even if I was away from her I could notice the spark of her eyes. She was still talking to Brian, but I walked to her very slowly, just admiring her; I didn't care about Brian anymore, I was just focused on her beauty. She wasn't looking at me, she wasn't aware that I was walking to her. But Brian did notice it and I knew it because he saw me and as soon as he saw me he stood up and greeted Freckles. When Brian finally left Freckles alone, he walked in my direction and he just greeted me with a nod and I greeted him back just in the same way, with a slight smile. Yeah, now things between him and me were different. Now he wasn't the bully for me, he wasn't the asshole who harassed me and my girlfriend; now he was the person who helped my girlfriend when she was being harassed by Karen, he was the one who gave me that video and letter that allowed me to be with Freckles again. Anyway, we weren't friends or anything; anyway I knew that he still didn't like me and I didn't like him for some random reasons that had nothing to do with the bullying; but we were just fine and that was good. I looked at Freckles again, she was now distracted with a flower that was on the table; she was smiling beautifully and that smile made me smile and walk a bit faster. I didn't want her to see me, I wanted to surprise her; so when I was close enough and she still didn't notice I was there, I stood behind her and I leaned to whisper something in her ear.

_**"May I have this dance?"**_ I whispered with a huge smile. She startled and turned around to look at me abruptly and surprised.

_**"Dare, you scared me... I... I don't know... I..."**_ She started babbling nervously as I kept looking at her with the same bright smile. I only offered her my hand in silence and she giggled. _**"All right, only one song." **_She said still giggling as she placed her hand above mine and I helped her to stand up.

I held her hand, leading her to the dance floor, both of us in silence but joyfully. The atmosphere now was amazing: the lights were dim, the music was now ballads and love songs and everybody was quiet dancing with their respective partners. I led Freckles to the middle of the dance floor and once we were there, I placed my hands on her waist and I pulled her closer to me. When she wrapped her arms around my neck, I pulled her even closer, so now our bodies were touching. Instantly, she rested her chin on my shoulder and we started dancing; when she did this before I could tell her what she needed to do, I corroborated what Mandy told me: She could dance and she was only playing dumb. Damn, she was dancing better than me and she was leading me when I thought that I was going to be the one to lead her. Although she said we were going to dance only one song, it has been like three songs already and we were still dancing together, very close and in silence. I wanted to hold onto her as much as I could and dancing like this was perfect. Neither of us said something but both of us were thinking that maybe this was going to be the last time we were going to dance together in a long time, so both of us tried to enjoy this moment we had now. Another song started and when I noticed which song it was, I lift her chin so now I could rest my forehead on hers. I looked intensely into her eyes while I was nuzzling my nose with hers and I was smiling fondly in front of her lips. She also looked into my eyes and smiled in front of my lips, so dancing this way was much more amazing.

_**"I dedicate this song to you, baby."**_ I whispered as I started singing this song in a whisper in front of her lips while we were still dancing very close.

_I've never seen you looking so lovely as you did tonight_

_I've never seen you shine so bright_

_I've never seen so many men ask you if you wanted to dance_

_They're looking for a little romance, given half a chance_

_I have never seen that dress you're wearing_

_Or the highlights in your hair that catch your eyes I have been blind_

_The lady in red is dancing with me cheek to cheek_

_There's nobody here, it's just you and me, it's where I wanna be_

_But I hardly know this beauty by my side_

_I'll never forget, the way you look tonight_

_I've never seen you looking so gorgeous as you did tonight_

_I've never seen you shine so bright you were amazing_

_I've never seen so many people want to be there by your side_

_And when you turned to me and smiled, it took my breath away_

_I have never had such a feeling_

_Such a feeling of complete and utter love, as I do tonight_

_The way you look tonight_

_I never will forget, the way you look tonight_

_The lady in red_

_The lady in red_

_The lady in red_

_My lady in red _

_I love you._

Right after the song finished and before the prom queen and prom king were going to be revealed, I pulled Freckles even closer to me and I leaned to kiss her lips, now placing a hand on her cheek. It was a long, soft and fond kiss. Our first kiss of the night, our first kiss in front of so many people. But we didn't care about the people who were looking at us because we actually thought we were alone. Even when the prom queen and the prom king were announced, we were still kissing.

_**"I love you so much, baby."**_ I whispered in front of her lips with a fond smile before we started clapping to congratulate the prom king, Brian, and the prom queen, Mandy, of course.

* * *

_**"What a nice place!"**_ Freckles exclaimed loudly and very excited when we arrived to the hotel.

She started looking around and bouncing as soon as she got out of the car that my dad lent me to drive to here. I started to get the suitcases out of the trunk of the car while I was looking at her amused; man, she seemed to be very happy.

_**"Wait to see the room. I rented one with Jacuzzi. And there's also a swimming pool in the hotel."**_ I yelled amused and she looked at me with eyes wide open, even more excited.

_**"You shouldn't have rented a room in this hotel, Darren! We could have been fine with a less expensive hotel room."**_ She started saying now, frowning. I left the suitcases on the ground and I walked to her to hold her hands.

_**"I wanted to rent a good place in which we could stay to spend the last days together in the best way."**_ I said looking at her with a slight smile. _**"What? Aren't you happy with this place? Because if you want we can sleep in the car."**_ I joked and she giggled.

_**"No, this place is amazing and I love it. But... It surely must have been expensive."**_ She said.

_**"I don't wanna talk about money, okay? It doesn't matter. What matters is that... We have a Jacuzzi!"**_ I exclaimed loudly and excited, laughing in between. _**"Oh yeah, and also that we're together."**_ I said smiling amused and she laughed.

When I looked for the keys of the hotel room and we finally went there and opened the door with our suitcases, we looked at the room very astonished. Nothing was as what I saw in the advertising.

_**"Sorry, the room you've reserved wasn't available when you asked for it. It was our mistake for having reserved you a not available room. This is the only available room and for our mistake you won't have to pay the extra cost of this suite room."**_ The hotel concierge said. _**"I hope you can have a good stay."**_

_**"Y-yeah, t-thanks." **_I stammered like an idiot and the man gave me the keys and left.

Freckles and I entered the room in silence, just looking around, still astonished and amazed. When I closed the door, Freckles and I looked at each other for a while and we both started screaming of excitement.

_**"Gosh darnit! Look at this room!"**_ I yelled excited.

_**"Holy cow! This place is amazing, Darren! Amazing, amazing, amazing!"**_ Freckles exclaimed just as excited, bouncing around. _**"Look at those couches! And the TV! Oh my goodness! It's as if we were in the movies! And look at that table!"**_

_**"Hey! We have a mini fridge! Look, look! We have water, sodas, beers and even champagne! And look at this! We have also a snack tray!"**_ I exclaimed excited, grabbing a pack of potato chips. When I turned around, Freckles wasn't here anymore.

_**"Oh holy crap! Look at this hell of amazing bathroom!" **_She yelled in the distance and I went running to the bathroom.

_**"Oh my fucking god!"**_ I exclaimed when I saw that bathroom. Not only had a Jacuzzi, but it was huge and it had even two sinks and mirrors and all. Then Freckles ran to the bedroom and I followed her.

_**"Oh geez!"**_ She exclaimed with eyes wide open.

_**"Well, I hope you don't mind sharing the same bed."**_ I said laughing but also amazed by that bedroom. The bed was like huge and there was also a TV there.

Freckles didn't answer anything; instead, she ran to the bed and she started jumping on the bed, laughing and very hyper like a little kid. It was very cute. I looked at her very amused and then I joined her. When I started jumping on the bed, I held her hand and we started jumping together, laughing as never before; this was so much fun, I couldn't remember the last time I did something like this. Then I looked at her in a mischievous way and I started tickling her as she started laughing desperately. She made a weird movement, like she hit my legs with her feet and it made me fall on top of her on the bed. Anyway, both of us were still laughing loudly and then we looked at each other while I was still on top of her. She raised her head to kiss me in a very fierce way. Whoa! That surprised me but I totally loved it. She placed a hand on the nape of my neck and other hand in my hair, as I placed a hand on her waist and other hand in her jaw. I deepened the kiss, making of the kiss a passionately and intense kiss. She started cuddling with her legs tangling up with mine and whoa, this was the first time she did something like that and it was weird, but I loved it most definitely; it was a weird feeling, as if she wanted to be close to me. I placed my hand on her thigh but now underneath her red dress. It seemed that she liked when I touched her there because she automatically kissed me more fiercely, now running her fingers through my curls and placing her hand on my back underneath my shirt in a way that was turning me on. I tried to think about something else to avoid an uncomfortable situation, but I couldn't; I was enjoying this moment way too much and I loved that I was doing this with her, with that girl that was driving me crazy. I don't know what led me then to kiss her neck, but I liked it: I liked the way she moaned softly as a sign that she liked it; I loved the way she had her eyes closed and it seemed that this was pleasant for her. And when I licked her neck slowly, she moaned louder and that sound she made, made me get a hard on and I couldn't control it. I wanted to stop because I knew that this was the moment I needed to stop, because later I wasn't going to be able to stop and control my body and my instincts and urge. But she started unbutton my shirt and I looked at her amazed, gulping. She was now looking deeply into my eyes as she kept unbuttoning my shirt very slowly. I placed my arms on her sides and I strained my arms to keep my chest up to let her unbutton my shirt as she was doing. When she finished unbuttoning my shirt, I helped her to take it off. I started into her eyes while she was seeing my naked chest for the first time. I wasn't a stocky guy but neither I was a muscular guy; and unlike the guys from the TV, I had hair on my chest; but she was still looking my naked chest as if she was admiring it. I let her doing so before I grabbed her hand to place it on my chest; I wanted to feel her touch. Staring into each other's eyes, I rubbed her hand on my chest and once I showed her how to touch me, I let out her hand so now she was rubbing my chest slowly and softly as I was leaning to kiss her again. We kissed for a little until she stopped me. I looked at her frowning, maybe I've done something wrong; but she looked at me intensely and the she sat on the bed, just below me and she started unzipping her dress.

_**"Would you help me?"**_ She asked softly and I gulped.

Oh man, I was so fucking nervous. I've never ever undressed a girl before. I mean, yeah, I undressed her once but she was drunk and almost unconscious and that was a fast thing and neither kisses nor cuddles were involved. I looked at her for a while before answering.

_**"Yeah."**_ I replied hoarsely, as if I haven't spoken for years.

She smiled before turning around to give me her back. I also sat on the bed, placing my legs on each one of her sides, very close to her that I could touch my legs with hers and my chest with her back. Then I noticed that I wouldn't be able to unzip her dress if my chest was against her back, so I moved a little to make room between us. So then I started unzipping her dress very slowly as I was starting to see her naked back, full of freckles. When I finished, I pulled down her dress to her hips. I started caressing her back very softly; her skin was as soft as the skin of a baby. I started giving her some massages and she relaxed her body; I wanted that, I wanted to make her feel relaxed and comfortable. While still giving her massages, I started kissing her shoulders very softly, but not in any place, I started kissing each one of her freckles in her shoulders and then in her back; I was discovering each one of her freckles, of her marks, of the particularities of her body. Then I moved closer to her, so now our bodies were touching, and like this I started kissing her neck. When she groaned softly, I knew that she liked this kind of kiss, so I kept doing it for a while, while caressing her arms and touching her legs with mine and caressing her feet with mine. I've never been this close to someone ever, I've never touched someone this way; and I guessed that it was the same for her. As I always wanted, I was experiencing new things with her and only with her. She turned her face and she kissed my lips, placing one of her hands on my jaw. Slowly while still kissing, she turned all her body and sat above me, with her legs on my sides as I bend my legs, so she could rest her back there. I placed my hands on her naked waist and she wrapped her arms around me. I kissed her for a little more until I broke the kiss to bite her lower lip very softly and then to look into her eyes. She was more beautiful than ever, she had something different in her eyes; it was a mix of bright eyes with happiness, nervousness and pleasure. While still staring into each other's eyes, I caressed her cheek and she smiled at me fondly. She also started caressing my cheek and like this, we started caressing each other's bodies, very softly and caringly. It was much more than being aroused, it was a whole new thing; I always thought that this kind of cuddling was cheesy and only happened in romantic movies. But I was wrong; this wasn't cheesy, this was about discovering our bodies, about sharing all we had, our most private things. We didn't need to talk to show the other the love we were feeling and it was weird and great. I stared her whole body while I started caressing her arms, her shoulders, her collarbone, her chest, her abdomen and her navel, and then I started running my fingers through her groin very slowly. She was looking my whole body while caressing my shoulders, my chest, my nipples, my tummy, my belly button, going straight to my the bone of my V zone. When she started running her fingers near my pelvis, I shivered and I suddenly I felt a tingle in my belly and also in between my legs, as I started to feel really hot and a warm sensation, as if down there I was warmer than the rest of my body and I felt as if my dick was getting very swollen and it was throbbing with up and down sensations of my heart beat. My heart was beating fast, my breath was slow and I had a deep urge; her touch in my skin was suddenly more sensitive. This was definitely a sensation that I've never felt before and it was feeling so amazing, even though that it was hurting me because my pants gave it no room for my hard on, that was getting even harder. She surely noticed this, because she kinda moaned and started breathing faster. I tried to focus on the cuddling thing, so I placed my hands on her back; but the first thing I did, without even being aware of it, was to unfasten her bra. She moved closer to me, and I felt her pelvis against mine as she placed both of her hands on my jaw to kiss me fiercely; of course I kissed her back, now placing a hand on her lower back and the other hand on her hair, messing it. She only broke the kiss to move back her upper body to take off her bra and to drop it on the floor. We kissed a little more, but then I broke the kiss to observe her whole upper body naked. When she noticed that I was admiring her, she smiled shyly and then she was the one to grab my hands to place it on her breasts. Oh wow, this was the very first time that I saw breasts in person and of course the very first time that I touched them. I gave it a little squeeze and this contact was hugely thrilling. It was weird; it was like bulgy, soft and warm. Oh god, it felt really nice to touch them. Then, when I was feeling more comfortable and I noticed that she liked this, I gently tickled the bottom of her breasts between her chest and her nipples with my finger nails; I gently grazed the sides of her breasts with my finger nails as I kept taking the occasional glance to make sure I wasn't inducing any pain; when I noticed she was liking this, I carried on. I leaned to kiss her and I applied my whole hand to her breasts, with her nipples up against the palms of my hand and I gently applied pressure and rubbed her breasts in a gentle circular motion and surprisingly, she was now helping me out. While I was doing this, I was kissing her chin, her jaw, her cheeks, her ear, I nibbled her ear lobes and I began to work down, kissing her neck ever so gently worked my way to her shoulders. My hands were gliding down her sides gently tickling her with my finger nails where I could pay attention to her stomach and her panty line all the way around her body, as I started to get down her dress to her knees. I kissed down her shoulders and neck until I reached her breasts, and then I kissed every inch of her breasts slowly and gently, except her nipples, while my hands tickled the backs of her thighs, knees and calves. Then I ran one hand up her body, tickling the area between her collar bone and her breasts, her neck, the side of her head, running my fingers through her hair, and finished by holding her hand. Then I gently licked her breasts in spots and blew air across those spots to give her some added sensation. I lightly licked the edges of the nipple, again blowing air on her nipple from time to time, using one of my hands on the breast I was working on and using the other hand to touch her thigh and then to hold her hand again to induce her a feeling of closeness and that I cared about her. After a long time I was doing this, I finally covered her nipple with my warm mouth and gently sucked on her breast as she started moaning. Oh hell damn, I loved those sounds she was making, it was making me feel that she was enjoying this as much as I was doing, as if I was pleasing her. I repeated this action with her other breast and then I felt her hands on my pants: she was unbuttoning my pants slowly and her touch down there made me feel even more aroused on a level that was driving me crazy, so crazy that I let out a loud moan. Once she unbuttoned my pants, she tried to pull down my pants and I stopped sucking her breast to help her. I raised my hips still with her on my lap and I started to pull down my pants to finally take them off and to drop them on the floor. Then she was the one who raised her hips and I took her dress off and I dropped it on the floor. Now she was only on her panties and I was on my underwear. We stared into each other's eyes intensely; she was smiling, I was smiling. I couldn't believe this was happening, I haven't planned this. I ran my fingers through her thighs and she did the same with me, while still looking at each other. This was very intimate and neither of us was feeling uncomfortable; this seemed to be completely natural. I pulled her closer to me, so her pelvis was against mine again; now I could feel her even more. I kissed her lips again, placing my hands on her hips as she wrapped her arms around my neck. It was a very fierce and passionate kiss, we were breathing slowly but our hearts were beating really fast. I was feeling hot, very hot; and her body was also hot; I knew that I was starting to sweat, but I couldn't help it. This kiss was arousing me even more that I started thrusting my hips up and down against her vagina; she accompanied me with the movement as we both started moaning in between the kiss; but it came a point that the moans didn't let us to keep kissing, so more than kissing we were just brushing our lips with our mouths opened. I let out a very loud groan when she placed a hand underneath my underwear to run her fingers through my pelvis; automatically, I placed both of my hands on her ass and squeeze it, without even thinking about it. When she ran her fingers down underneath my underwear, touching slightly my already fully erected penis and when she kept going down to my balls; I let out the most loudly moan I could make. I couldn't control it, those sounds were just coming out from my mouth as a reaction of the pleasure I was feeling. Oh shit, this was the first time that someone that wasn't me was touching me there and it felt even better than the times I did it myself. As an instinct, I thrust up my hips against her vagina and then I quickly took off my underwear; I was kind of desperate and I couldn't control this feeling. When I completely took it off, Freckles observed me and for some reason, I didn't feel uncomfortable while she was doing it. I let her doing it while I was caressing her cheek very softly. Then she looked up to me and I smiled at her. I slowly leaned her on the bed, so now she was lying down in bed as I was on top of her. She was looking deeply at me while I was caressing her cheeks, her neck, her shoulder, her breast, her abdomen and then her groin. I placed my hands on her panties and, slowly and caringly, I started taking off her panties as she pushed up her hips to help me. Once I did it, I dropped her panties on the floor and I stared her whole body naked. Oh holy crap, she was beautiful. We stared our naked bodies for a long time, just discovering each part of our bodies, our most intimate parts. Not only we stared our naked bodies, we also started caressing each other in parts we've never caressed before; it was something special; it was a new feeling, it was a new experience that I was experiencing with the girl I loved with all my heart and soul, with my Freckles. I leaned and I rested my body against hers; now I was feeling her naked body against my naked body and that feeling was very pleasant, it was thrilling. I kissed her very softly, but the kiss quickly turned into a fierce kiss, as we started thrusting our hips ups and down. Now it felt different. Now I felt my dick touching a warm and wet part of her body; I couldn't explain it, but that feeling was one of the best feelings I've ever had; and there was something else, a particular smell that I've never smelled before, but it was making me feel more aroused for sure. Man, this was feeling amazing. Then my erected penis touched her wet spot and it made me moan and she also moaned. Oh fuck, oh fuck, I had this urge that I couldn't avoid for any longer; this urge to get inside of her. So, while still kissing her, I extended my arm to reach my bag where I had a condom. While still looking for it, with my free hand, I ran a finger in her clitoris, making her moan loudly. Oh damn, that moan and the warm and wet sensation on my finger was driving me completely crazy. I felt as if I almost lost my mind when she grabbed my dick with her hands and started moving it up and down. Oh shit! This was a fantastic feeling, a really hot and beyond-belief feeling. I have no idea how I managed to keep searching for the condom with this feeling I was having. But I did and I found it. I quickly opened the condom wrapper. And then I did exactly the same that Chuck and Jen once told me about condoms and how to use them properly. I determined which way the condom was rolled, I pinched the entire reservoir at the tip of the condom shut, I placed the condom against the tip of my erect penis and I rolled the condom slightly over the tip of my penis and then I gently pulled back the foreskin and I slid my hand from the reservoir tip down to the rolled ring of the condom and rolled it down the entire length; I used one hand to hold the bottom of the condom in place at the bottom of the shaft and then pushed the foreskin forward inside the condom with the other hand. Once it was correctly placed, I leaned against Freckles again, placing one hand on her jaw to kiss her fiercely as we were doing as she wrapped her legs around my waist and wrapped her arms around my neck. I used my free hand to hold my dick and then I started rubbing it on her clitoris, going down straight to her vaginal opening. Oh god, oh god, this was an extraordinary feeling and I couldn't wait for any longer, it was an urge. But I stopped.

"_**Baby, if you want me to stop, just let me know."**_ I whispered looking at her.

"_**No, it's fine."**_ She answered hoarsely.

"_**Are you sure?"**_ I asked slowly and she only nodded. I leaned to kiss her lips very softly and fondly. _**"I love you."**_

She smiled fondly, it seemed she couldn't talk, so I kissed her again before I lined my penis with her vaginal opening and I tried to push my dick inside; but then I noticed that something different was happening; so I looked up to her again. She seemed to be scared.

"_**Darren?"**_ She said with trembling voice and I frowned.

"_**Yeah?"**_ I asked hoarsely.

_**"I... I'm virgin."**_ She said with trembling voice and very nervous, so I looked at her and caressed her cheek softly.

_**"I am too." **_I whispered softly but still hoarsely, kissing her lips and still caressing her cheek before smiling at her. She was looking at me scared but also frowning and confused.

_**"Are you?"**_ She asked in disbelief.

_**"Yes, I am."**_ I assured with the same soft smile. _**"My first time is gonna be with you and I'm glad for it."**_ I whispered in front of her lips as she was still scared. _**"Listen... We can stop right now if you want."**_

_**"No, I want... I mean..."**_ She babbled nervous and I chuckled softly.

_**"Don't be nervous, I want you to feel comfortable with this."**_ I whispered sweetly while caressing her hair.

_**"I'm not nervous, I want this."**_ She whispered with trembling voice and I kissed her. _**"I'm ready."**_ She whispered in between the kiss.

Yeah, I told her not to be nervous; but the fact was that I was nervous like hell; I thought that maybe it was normal to feel like that; like I couldn't stop thinking 'What if I totally suck at this? What if she doesn't like this? What if I don't do it right?' I didn't want to hurt her, I didn't want to make her feel bad; I wanted her to enjoy this new thing that the two of us were about to discover and I wanted to show her how much I loved her, I wanted to be loving and affectionate but also I still had this urge. I started kissing her fiercely but not forgetting to be affectionate, to get in the climax again. I kept kissing her while running my fingers through her whole body, going from her neck to her groin as she started moaning in between the kiss as I also did. With my free hand I grabbed my penis and I pushed it slowly and very softly in her vaginal opening. It didn't work; it wasn't as easy as I thought it was, judging for what I saw. It was like I couldn't do it because it was very tight. I tried to do it again and she almost screamed of pain and I felt something wet and warm, but not exactly where I was supposed to feel it. I felt that something wet and warm in my cheek that was resting against hers. I moved my face to look at her. She was crying.

_**"Baby, are you okay?"**_ I asked hoarsely and kinda concerned.

_**"I'm so sorry, I can't do this!"**_ She exclaimed in between tears and I looked at her confused and frowning.

_**"Hey, do not cry." **_I whispered weakly. I couldn't get why at first she seemed to be very sure and now she was crying.

_**"I'm so sorry, I'm an idiot."**_ She said weeping and I could barely understand that she said it because her voice was choked. But I heard perfectly when she said the next thing. _**"I'm sorry, Darren, for being a stupid girl who can't do this yet as you expected." **_

When I heard this and when I saw the way she was crying and covering her face, I got off of top of her to sit next to her head and wrap an arm behind her to raise her upper body and hug her as she buried her face on my chest, wrapping her arms around me, still crying. I caressed her hair and I kissed her head several times to try to reassure her.

_**"Baby, do not cry for this. I understand and it's alright."**_ I whispered softly and reassuringly but it wasn't working. _**"You're not stupid only because you aren't ready yet and I wasn't expecting to do this, not if you're not fully ready."**_ I said while she was still weeping disconsolately. _**"Hey baby, look at me."**_ I said now grabbing both of her cheeks as she looked at me with her eyes full of tears. _**"This is not about me nor about you; this is about us. We both need to be ready and comfortable and if you don't feel like that now, it's fine, I get it and I have no hurry; because what I want is you to feel fine and sure about this. The last I want is to do something that you're not ready yet. We can wait; we have time; because I'm not planning to leave you, not even if we're miles away."**_ I said looking intensely into her eyes.

_**"I really wanted to make this special, but I screwed this moment, I screwed everything."**_ She said crying.

_**"Do not say that."**_ I said frowning, still looking into her teary eyes. _**"You didn't screw this. This is the best thing we've ever had; hey, we have discovered something new about each other. Someway, we've made love, when we discovered our most private things about us; making love doesn't necessary involve sex. So I'm telling you that you didn't screw this, quite the contrary, you gave me the best I've ever got tonight. So, do not cry."**_ I whispered softly, caressing her cheeks with my thumbs and smiling fondly.

_**"I'm stupid; I should be like the other girls who have sex with no fear."**_ She said sobbing.

_**"What? No, of course not. I'm with you precisely because you aren't like the other girls; so do not ever compare yourself with other girls. I'm not looking from you to have sex, what I'm looking from you is this, being just like this, sharing new things that has nothing to do with only sex."**_ I said with a fond smile before kissing her sweetly and she kissed me back. _**"See? This is what I want. If we don't have sex now, it's okay. Maybe now isn't the time and the place; eventually that day will come, and it won't be something forced; it'll be because it'll be the right time. We have all of our lives to do this, so... Why would we hurry?"**_

_**"I... Darren..."**_ She said still sobbing, but more calmed now. _**"Will you stop loving me because of this?"**_

_**"What?"**_ I asked laughing but because I couldn't believe she was asking that. _**"Why would you think that I'd stop loving you?" **_

_**"Because I stopped you and... and..."**_ She started stammering and I interrupted her.

_**"Of course not, baby. I love you even more because you had the strength to stop me, because you made me respect you and because you respect yourself." **_I answered honestly looking deeply into her eyes. _**"Come here."**_ I said lying down in bed and making her rest her head on my chest, wrapping an arm around her and holding her hand with my free hand. _**"I love you so much, I really do." **_

_**"I love you too."**_ She whispered looking at me. I kissed her very sweetly and gently and then I smiled in front of her lips.

_**"Let's just sleep like this and you'll make me the happiest guy in the universe."**_ I said looking at her with a big smile while caressing her long hair.

_**"Yes, alright."**_ She said smiling shyly.

I smiled brightly when I heard her answer and I snuggled up into her, as she did the same. We lay on our sides, face to face, intertwined our legs and we held our hands. Now we stared into each other's eyes intensely as the two of us were smiling. She had bright eyes, but also swollen and sleepy eyes because of the crying; anyway, she looked gorgeous. I moved my face closer to hers to rest my forehead against hers and nuzzle my nose with hers, still staring into her eyes. It was not long until she fell asleep peacefully and smiling. I kissed her temple and I whispered goodnight in her ear, even if she couldn't listen to me. I couldn't fall asleep because I couldn't stop looking at her and how beautiful she looked while being asleep next to me, completely naked and smiling. My erection finally disappeared and I was still feeling bad by the way she cried because of this. Yes, I wouldn't deny that I really wanted to make this with her, but if she wasn't feeling sure, she shouldn't have felt bad and guilty for it. I looked at her and I thought that I could wait for her all the time she needed; for now sleeping like this with her was already pretty amazing. I caressed her naked side slowly and softly until I started feeling sleepy. When I was about to fall asleep, someone knocked the door. Maybe it was the hotel concierge. I kissed Freckles' lips lightly before I put on my underwear to open the door.

* * *

Next morning you woke up really peacefully. When you opened your eyes, you realized that you were still naked and that Darren wasn't next to you. You thought that maybe he was taking a shower, but no sound came from the bathroom, so maybe he was just having breakfast or maybe he went for a walk and he didn't want to wake you. So you covered yourself with the blankets to your face and you started thinking. What you've experienced last night, was special, was unique and it was quite awesome. The whole thing of undressing in front of Darren and him undressing in front of you so naturally was great. The whole thing of discovering your bodies and caressing and kissing as if this was the most natural thing you could have ever done was amazing. It was a nice feeling and thinking about it was making you feel butterflies in your stomach. What it didn't feel good was when you were about to go all the way with him. You thought you were ready, because you were sure that you wanted to lose your virginity with him and it surprised you when he said he was virgin too. But somehow, at one point, you started feeling very scared and your whole body tensed when you were about to have sex. And it hurt you way too much when he tried to get inside you; it was very painful. That was when you started to regret, even though you wanted to do it with Darren; but you weren't ready, not yet; it was scary and painful. You felt really guilty and ashamed when you finally told him that you couldn't do it. He told you that it was fine, but still you were feeling bad for it, because Darren really wanted to do it, he even put on a condom and all. Anyway, Darren finally convinced you that it was fine and he was very sweet and caring. You remembered when Mandy told you that it was hard to find a guy who could respect the way Darren respected you; she was right. Darren was unique. Well, it was time to get up and dress, so you could go with Darren and enjoy this last time together. You wanted to spend every single second with him now that you had the chance. You wanted to talk to him to hear his voice, to laugh along with him, to hear his voice singing, to look at him, to look at his beautiful hazel eyes and his sexy and charming smile, to be in his arms and feel the warmth of his body. Excited, you got up and you dressed feeling very cheerful. You first went to the bathroom but Darren wasn't there, then you poked your face to the living room, but he wasn't there; you were alone in the hotel room. Maybe he was in the pool, he loved swimming. You went to the bedroom to look for your phone before going outside with Darren. In the nightstand, there was a note. Well, it surely was a note from Darren telling you where he was going to be. Yes, definitely it was his handwriting. Excited and happy, you read it.

**"After thinking all night long, I decided that I'm leaving. I don't want to deal anymore with a girl who's scared of having sex. I had to wait so fucking much to get laid with you and at the end nothing happened because you're such a crybaby. All this time trying to be sweet, loving and cheesy to get in your pants and you didn't give me anything. I'm sick of that, I'm gonna look for a better girl in Michigan who's not gonna be scared to satisfy me. I'm sorry, I'm breaking up with you and I don't wanna see you again. Goodbye, have a good lonely stay here and please, do not call me anymore and do not try to find me. Darren."**

When you finished reading the note, you excitement and your happiness faded. You felt really heartbroken and everything fell apart. That was undoubtedly Darren's handwriting. You stayed in shock for several minutes, not believing what you just read. All the fears you were feeling last night before Darren reassured you, appeared again. You were afraid of it and it happened. You couldn't believe that he actually did it, that he actually dumped you because you didn't dare to have sex with him. How could he? No, no, no; this wasn't happening; this was surely a joke, a really hideous joke. You stood up and you searched Darren's suitcase, but only your suitcase was there. You looked through the window right to the parking lot; Darren's car wasn't there anymore; there were no signals from him except for the note he wrote. The guy you loved walked away from you and dumped you because you couldn't give him what he wanted. This wasn't the Darren you thought he was. You started feeling insecure again; you started feeling lonely, helpless, hopeless, stupid, ugly, neglected, deserted and depressed again. You felt a hole in your heart that wasn't going to heal. You were alone again; you felt how, over again, no one loved you. Darren, the guy you loved with all your being, made clear that he didn't want to see you again and he was gone. This time not for a while; this time forever.

_**"Why have you done this, Darren? Why?"**_ You cried your heart out in that lonely hotel room.


	31. University of Michigan

A/N: Hi guys! Well, I updated earlier than usual as you can see because I wouldn't be able to update it later. Yes, I'll keep posting chapters on Friday night/Saturday morning. Now... I knew that the last chapter was going to be like a bomb, this time I was ready! I prepared an especial costume, I brought my gas mask, I put on my bulletproof vest, my bulletproof helmet and my military boots to be protected. Okay, I get it, I need to stop being so silly. But I was ready to get not so nice reviews and I totally get it because it was not a nice ending! But you know I'm like this, I can be so mean sometimes! Nah, I just... Drama, I need drama! But it wasn't so terrible! The chapter had a lot of lovely things, I think. I just like to combine both things. And... Here we are now, starting the second part of Teenage Dream! In this second part you'll get new things and I'll write about different stuff. In the first part the main topic was bullying; and also some topics such as low self-esteem, how it's like to be in love for the very first time, discrimination, how it feels like to start a new stage in your life, the separation of a family, and more little things; I hope I could accomplish it satisfactorily. In this second part, the main topic is different and possibly you'll get more than only one main topic, but I won't tell you what it is about, you'll find it out while reading the chapters. Okay, I think that's all. Just... Please don't kill me, I'm nice! I'll start answering your reviews!

Victoria Paige: Yes, it's the way I chose it! I know it's not nice! But it's just the last chapter of the 1st part, now you get the 2nd part of the story and with that you'll get a lot of more chapters! With this chapter you'll get an explanation what happened that day. I won't blow it and I'll let you read it!

Ginny Zoey: Aww, I really felt bad when I read your review; not because of what you wrote, don't get me wrong! It's just because you left me thinking... And you're right! That was the last chapter of high school and it was a sad ending! I'll miss the high school part, I liked writing about it; but hey! This second part... I hope you like it. And of course I'll keep posting every Saturday! This is not over, so smile! You haven't gone nuts! I like that you look forward for their marriage! Only that... It won't happen yet, maybe it'll happen someday, maybe not, I'm not there yet! haha. Aww and thank you a lot, Ginny! I can call you Ginny, right? Are you married with Potter? Okay, enough with my silliness. Thank you very much for saying that this is a great story! I hope I can keep it interesting for you!

alicegursk: Thanks god you're far from the meteorite! I've seen the news and it was really scary! I'm so sorry Alice! Let's try this: Place a hand in your chest, right over your heart. Can you feel it beating? Option number 1: Yes. Good! You're still alive and you do have your heart and it's right there! That is cool! Option number 2: No. Oh my wizard god! You're a zombie! I always wanted to meet a zombie, that is cool!. I just want to make you smile; this is my way to apologize to have made you feel bad. In this chapter you'll get an explanation! So you only have to read it! (After reading, please repeat the procedure to place your hand over your heart to check if it is still beating.)

MrsDarrenCriss3: This is the first time I get your review! So, first off, welcome Mrs. Criss! I hope you're enjoying this story despite all the drama and my meanness! I think you should sing: 'Lucy, what can't you see what you're doing to me?' Right! It's Sami instead Lucy. And right now I'm just being a goofball. I'm so sorry, but eventually it'll get better, I promise! And I just updated! And you'll get my updates every Friday night/Saturday morning, depending where you live! Now I'll let you read this second part of the story!

MeMi83: Fairy claps! I totally love that! It seems like magical claps and yes, I like it! Really, you made me smile with that comment, I love everything that has to do with Disney and magic and fairy tales and all! I do think that you know me too well already! I have a serious problem and maybe I should get some help. I don't know why I cannot just write only one chapter in which everything, absolutely everything is alright. Like, I really can't! I always have this need to write something dramatic, a twist, a fight, or whatever. I don't know why. I know, sometimes I feel really bad for Freckles, because... why everything has to happen to her? And I know I'm the writer and I'm the fool who writes that, but well, my hands and my brain are the guilty! And as you can notice I'm in goofball mood today! And... In this chapter you'll know what happened actually!

vicky: Yes, I know! Everything was really fine at the beginning, and then it came the twist! I have this problem that my mind is such a bitch that wouldn't let me to write at least only one chapter in which everything is absolutely fine! Like my brain is all the time yelling: 'Write something dramatic or I'll kill you!' And I don't wanna die yet! In this chapter you'll find out who was at the door and why Darren has done it. And yes, they've been through a lot of wonderful things and that is something that I think neither of them will forget. Now things will be different, for better or worse, I still don't know, you'll see that. And maybe someday Freckles will forgive him, or maybe not; that's other thing you'll find out!

Guest 1: I don't love to torture you! My brain is the asshole! No, really, I don't love that! I'll fix it, yes! I don't know how much it'll take, but I'll fix it, so don't worry. And yes, maybe Darren is not capable to do something like that, but we all are human beings and we all make mistakes. But anyway, you'll get the explanation in this chapter! I swear that I try to write a few chapters in which they're happy all the time, but then my brain betrays me and decides to write something dramatic! I really have that problem, you can call me drama queen, or not. And I won't forgive your emotional outburst, because actually you shouldn't apologize for that! Actually, for me, it's good that you felt that. You know, for a writer is always good to know that you produce any kind of feeling to the readers, because it means that they can feel something while reading! Otherwise, it'd be just boring. And it's really hard to feel something while you're reading; so, for me, the fact that you felt something and the fact that you care about these fictional characters are like a huge accomplishment! So thank you very much! And you said it, this story isn't over and you still have a lot to read, so I wish you can keep reading this, it'd make me really happy! And yes! Omg! You just sang a song of The Beatles and I love them! All you need is love! I believe in that, despite my drama!

SamCollinsHolmes: I like this new name; I think I haven't told you this the last time we talked! Okay, my Sherlock. I already answered you on Twitter and I gave you some presents that you needed, I hope you kept them, otherwise I'm gonna go to a dark cave to cry forever. Well, well, well; Moriarty is gonna take a break because is very tired, but will come back eventually. So, you won't have to bother your friend (that writes subliminal messages) with mysteries to be resolved. Also, I wanted to give you a break, so we can start later again with more energy!

SkittlesPanda: Oh my god! I know that wasn't a happy ending! Maybe I have troubles to distinguish what is a happy ending and what not. Maybe my brain is damaged. Maybe I'm bipolar. Maybe I don't exist and I'm a robot just as Cleverbot told me. Okay, I'll stop saying stupid things that probably you don't want to read! You scolded me! I felt like a little child being scolded by her mother because she's done a mischief! I'll pretend that and I'll answer: 'Okay mommy, I swear I'll explain you that right now! Please, do not take away my candies!' Yes, I know I promised I'll stop saying stupid things but I'm in my usual silly mood. But yes, you'll get an explanation in this chapter! So I'll tell you who forced (or not) Darren. Now. In this chapter.

Kaylacriss332: I must say that I enjoy shitting you because I'm a shit that has been shat by one of the unicorns that was slain by Quirrell so Voldy could drink its blood and return to power. With the tail hair of that unicorn, Ollivander created a wand that will bring Freckles and Darren together; but the problem is that the wand still has no effect because the person that is using it, is not the real owner. But, however, someone has used the horn of that unicorn in a potion that allowed to recreate some scenes or quotes of Harry Potter; recreated in words that were written in a modern version of the Tom Riddle's diary, called Word. It's been written, but the owl that has it hasn't arrived yet, I bet that the owl is Errol. So we'll have to wait.

Guest 2: I really do this to keep you interested on the story, I just don't want to bore you! I've tried to write chapters in which they're absolutely fine but I constantly fail! I have this serious trouble but I'm willing to try harder and write a chapter in which everything is gonna be alright. But it's like I have a demon inside me that is telling me all the time that I should write dramatic things. I know that sometimes I can be really cruel, is a hard work the one of being a drama queen. I guess it's because I've watched thousands of drama movies that affected my brain! But believe me, I'm a nice person, I think! And yes, I want a happy ending for them; but I still want to show that life ain't easy and we often have a lot of troubles and this is about how we sort those troubles and all the things we do to get there; making you notice that sometimes a sad or happy ending or beginning isn't so important, because what really matters is what's in the middle that allows us grow and learn so many things. Am I weird? I only hope that my story affects you but in a positive way despite the drama; I really try to show reality (even though this all is fictional) and sometimes, in between lines, there are things that took me years to learn in my life that I wanted to share with you, a positive message. I really don't wanna make you feel depressed; I mean, I want to make you feel something while reading this story, but not depressed. I try to write beautiful things besides the drama!

caarolineboeira1: Caroline! Do not punch Karen through your screen because you're gonna break your computer and that is not good because you won't be able to keep reading how this story continues! You'll find out in this chapter who the person that was at the door was. Maybe it was Karen, maybe not; maybe Darren wanted to leave Freckles for real, maybe not. Maybe, maybe, maybe. You will see. Be or not to be, this is the question. You waited a week! You could make it! You should feel proud of yourself! And you shouldn't hate me (please don't do that to me!) Okay, I am acting like a fool!

Natasha: You'll understand it in this new chapter! You should grab your popcorn and read this new chapter to find out what Darren was doing and if this was an evil trick by W or not! Are you ready to read the truth of absolute truths?

Nicole: I loved your Starkid reference! We're Starkid fellows and that is totally awesome! I'm really glad that you liked the cliffhanger even if it was a bit tough! And in this new chapter you'll see if Darren really meant to break up and leave Freckles or not! And you'll also find out if this was an evil thing from Karen or not! I hope you can enjoy this new chapter!

Okay, that was all, guys! Oh yeah, I was forgetting... WARNING! There's a sexual part in this chapter, not so intense, but sexual at the end; I'm just warning just in case you don't like to read that stuff. And well, we're now at college, so it means that people are young and independent and are exploring sexuality... SO, in the following chapters you will get more sexual things, both talks and actions. So I'm just warning you guys! Now, I think I said everything... I think. I'll just let you read the first chapter of this second part of Teenage Dream!

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**Teenage Dream – Chapter 31 – University of Michigan.**

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AUGUST 2006…

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_**"Hey man!"**_ I pounced on Joey to beat him playfully as soon as I saw him in the University of Michigan North Campus. _**"How were your summer vacations? Missed my cute face way too much?"**_

_**"Get out of here; you damn pain in the ass."**_ Joey said laughing as he beat me also playfully. _**"Is that even a question? Of course I didn't miss your face. Bud, it was saturating seeing your face every single day last year; I needed to rest; my eyes are hurt."**_

_**"Yeah, yeah, shut up!"**_ I said punching his stomach playfully. _**"You'll have to get something for your eyes then, 'cause guess what? This year, you're gonna share the room with me again, man."**_

_**"No way! Oh no, no, no way! I'm not gonna be your roommate again, Criss."**_ Joey said quickly, pretending to be terrified.

_**"Hey guys!"**_ Meredith yelled in the distance, she was walking to us with Bonnie and Lauren.

_**"What's up?"**_ Bonnie yelled while laughing and walking.

_**"Hey, Richter! I heard that you've been traversing the galaxy on intergalactic travels to Pigfarts! Too bad that you thought that Pigfarts was to be locked in a porta-potty."**_ Lauren yelled laughing and Joey frowned but I knew he was amused. _**"Who looks stupid now? You do!" **_

_**"What the devil is going on here?"**_ I asked intrigued and amused when I saw Joey's face.

_**"Didn't Joey tell you? He was delightfully walking in Chicago when suddenly he wants to poop. There was nothing around but there was a porta-potty. He had no better idea than using it, even though there was a sign that spelled out of service. He pooped and surprise! He couldn't flush the toilet! It wasn't working! Imagine Joey pooping, the delightful smell."**_ Lauren explained making a disgusted face. _**"So he played fool and tried to get out of there but oh! The door was locked and he couldn't open it. He tried, he tried hard, so hard that the porta-poppy tumbled and crashed to the floor. After a while, a polite man helped him to get out of there because Joey was screaming like a girl. And when he got out of there... Well, you can picture it; he took a bath with poop and chemical fluids. Whoop whoop!"**_ She laughed out loud.

_**"Oh man! I wish I could have been there."**_ I said laughing out loud.

_**"One more comment like that and I'm gonna wrap you in a tortilla and then I'll eat you as a snack."**_ Joey said threateningly looking at Lauren, even if he was joking, Lauren replied.

_**"Oh yeah? Then I'll eat your pillow! You'll be having a dream that you're eating a giant marshmallow and you'll wake up and your favorite goosefeather pillow will be missing!"**_ Lauren said just as threateningly.

_**"Whatever, whatever!"**_ Joey said mockingly and then he looked at Bonnie. _**"Hey Bonnie, do you wanna share a room with me this year? I don't wanna share it with Criss." **_Joey said jokingly and I laughed, shaking my head.

_**"Not possible, this year I'm sharing the room with Lauren."**_ Bonnie answered amused.

_**"Oh shit. Hey Mere, what about you?"**_ Joey asked looking at Meredith.

_**"Oh no, too bad that I already have a roommate." **_She answered smiling amused.

_**"Really? Damn! Who? Jaime?"**_ He asked.

_**"No, Jamie is sharing the room with Julia. I don't know yet the girl who's gonna be my roommate; I think it's her first year here." **_She answered shrugging.

_**"Oh cool. Criss, damn you. We'll have to share the room again, 'cause Brian's roommate is Walker and Moses' roommate is Dylan. This time, I'm choosing first the bed." **_Joey said looking at me.

_**"No fucking way, Richter!"**_ I answered shaking my head amused.

_**"Hi ladies."**_ Joe Walker suddenly said behind us, accompanied by Brian and Joe Moses. _**"How much have you rocked the vacations?"**_

_**"Bonnie you look like a crab. What the hell has happened to you?"**_ Brian asked looking at her, who was completely red because obviously she's been sunbathing in an excessive way.

_**"It's called Caribbean vacation and you totally envy me." **_She answered raising an eyebrow amused.

_**"What the hell are you Joey?"**_ Joe Moses asked looking at Joey's blue headband.

_**"Whoa! Someone has been working out."**_ Lauren exclaimed touching Joe Walker's arm as he looked at her with a cocky smile.

_**"I'm hungry."**_ Meredith said frowning and everybody looked at her and laughed.

We joked and fooled around for a while before going separate ways to go to our rooms in the Baits Houses, located on North Campus. It was good to be back at college with my new friends that I met last year. They all were hilarious and I always had fun with them; besides they were really good friends. The atmosphere at college was totally different from high school; it was way better. Luckily, I met a lot of cool people, thanks to have lived on campus and to have gotten involved in campus groups. People there were funnier and there didn't exist the bullying thing; of course there still existed the asshole kind of people, but it was nothing compared to high school. College was definitely more work than high school academically; but the cool thing about college was the fact of not having to wake up early five days a week, and all the personal independence I gained. From time to time, I missed my family and Jen who was in Detroit; but fortunately, I got to see them occasionally; usually when I finished a term. Once in a while, when I had time, I went to Detroit to visit Jen and she did the same when she had time; so it wasn't so tough. My parents also invented excuses to come to Ann Arbor and visit me. The problem was Chuck, he was in NYC and I barely could see him, but internet and the social networks were amazing nowadays; so I used to Skype with him occasionally. When I missed them too much, my friends were there always to invite me to hang out to distract me; and I did the same for them.

_**"Darren, this is my bed! I chose it first!" **_Joey said throwing his suitcases and running to the bed next to the window, lying down in there to mark his territory.

_**"Fuck you, Joey! I said that I was going to choose first the bed."**_ I complained while leaving my suitcases on the floor next to the other bed right next to the closet. _**"I'm gonna revenge, you'll see."**_ I said now lying in my bed.

_**"I'm trembling with fear." **_He mocked, pretending being stuttering.

_**"Sorry, did I just s-stutter?"**_ I made fun of him, laughing softly and then I felt a pillow on my face._** "Cool, extra pillow for me now." **_

_**"Gimme it back, weiner jacket."**_ He complained and I threw his pillow on his face while laughing. He hugged his pillow and I shook my head still laughing, before placing my arms behind my head to look at the ceiling.

_**"So, how was your time in Chicago besides that little incident you had with the porta-potty?"**_ I asked giggling amused.

_**"Was good. I met a lot of new people, it was fun."**_ He answered quietly, also looking at the ceiling with his arms behind his head.

_**"Uh-huh, that sounds interesting. Have you met any girl?"**_ I asked winking and amused.

_**"Yeah, I have."**_ He answered smiling amused and that was when I turned to look at him really amused and intrigued.

Last year, everybody tried to find a girl for him, but he refused to be with someone because he said 'I'm not interested on finding a college boring and ordinary girl. I'm cool being with myself and my awesomeness.' No one really knew the real reasons of why he would reject every date we planned to pair him with a girl of college; no one but me. Since Joey and I were roommates, we got along well and we got to be close friends, so he was open to me and he told me the reasons. The thing was that he had to go through a situation similar to that of my brother. He had a girlfriend before coming here last year; but in his high school graduation, at his prom at one point of the party, he went to the bathroom and he found his girlfriend making out with another guy, not a random guy but his best friend. So that was why he didn't want to know anything about having a relationship, any kind of relationship with a girl.

_**"Tell me, man! I wanna know who the lady is! Do I know her?"**_ I asked intrigued, now sitting on my bed and looking at him as Joey laughed, shaking his head.

_**"No, you don't know her. It was just a random girl and it was a random thing. Really, not big deal."**_ Joey answered shrugging. _**"We just hung out few times and well, it happened. It was just a hook up, nothing serious, no relationship involved. That's cool for now." **_

_**"I see... And how was it?"**_ I asked looking at him mischievously.

_**"What do you wanna know, Darren? If she had a damn good ass and boobs? Yeah, hell. If she was amazing in bed? Hell yeah! What else do you wanna know? Maybe I could tell you some of my experiences in bed, like all the exotic sexual positions we practiced."**_ He said amused and chuckling.

_**"Please, reserve all those surely good experiences for yourself. I don't wanna go into detail. But, do you still talk to her or something?"**_ I asked intrigued.

_**"Nah. I told you, it was just a hook up. Neither of us wanted to go for more; I don't even have her phone number or her Facebook. It's better this way; I still don't wanna have a relationship, so this year do not even try to plan those stupid dates again."**_ He said looking at me warningly and very serious.

_**"Alright, alright, won't do!"**_ I said chuckling because he got instantly what was in my mind.

_**"What about you? How was San Francisco?"**_ Joey asked and I lay down in bed again.

_**"Good, the usual. You know, seeing the family and hanging out with old friends. Nothing peculiar."**_ I answered monotonously, looking blankly at the ceiling again.

_**"Yeah... What about Kelly? Have you seen her or talked to her?"**_ He asked intrigued.

_**"No, I haven't."**_ I answered quietly.

_**"Why don't you leave her? I mean, you're wasting your time with her."**_ Joey said and I knew he was going to say it because it was what he tried to convince me to do since last year.

_**"I am not. I like her, she's... She's nice."**_ I answered shrugging, almost indifferent.

_**"She's not nice. She's a pain in the ass, Darren. Not only she's with half of the guys in college, but also she thinks she has domain on you. You're all the time behind her as if you were a subservient brown noser to her without regard for your own interests; a typical lapdog. She's bossy, haughty and smug. Yeah, she may be pretty and good in bed, but she's a disgusting person. I think there are better girls with who you can be."**_ Joey said aggressively while talking about Kelly. Yeah, he didn't like her at all and he had reasons to not like her.

_**"Whoa, Joey! Do you wanna insult her a bit more?" **_I said raising my eyebrows, now looking at him, who seemed to be upset. I sighed and looked at the ceiling again. _**"I'm not looking for a serious relationship or love affair; so she's perfect." **_

_**"And you're a fucking idiot, no offense."**_ Joey said irritated and I looked at him incredulous.

_**"And you're a damn pain in the ass, no offense."**_ I answered in a jokingly way because I really wanted to talk about something else.

_**"When will you explain me why you don't want to have a serious relationship with a girl? You kinda avoided it every time we talked about this. I told you my reasons, why wouldn't you tell me yours?"**_ Joey asked what I was afraid to hear. Damn, I needed to avoid it again, but how?

_**"I told you several times; I came here to study, not for having stupid love affairs. Having a love affair involves having a lot of spare time to spend with her, involves less hours of study and less hours to hang out with friends; involves a lot of shit that I don't wanna do right now. I just want to study and have fun, not to stress with the usual problems of having a girlfriend."**_ I explained the same that I explained to him before, an effective but not so effective excuse to evade the question.

_**"Tell that shit and lame excuse to someone else, because I do not believe it." **_Joey said serious and I knew he was fixedly looking at me.

_**"It's your problem, then. I am telling you the truth and it's simple as that." **_I answered quiet, shrugging.

_**"Fine. One day, you'll tell me the real truth. For now, you should leave Kelly, that noisy bitch."**_ He exclaimed irritated.

_**"Yeah, whatever you say."**_ I answered curtly because I wanted this conversation to end right there and it worked.

Kelly. She was a girl that I met in the first days of college; I met her even first than meeting Joey or any of my friends. We shared a class, Intro Acting I course and she was my first partner. As soon as I saw her, she didn't get my attention; I wasn't really interested on her. Yes, she was a pretty girl with her long red hair and blues eyes, but I didn't find her as attractive as other guys did. She was the one who started flirting with me since the beginning; like excessively flirting. I always ignored her because I was not interested on having something with someone. But then she showed me that she also didn't want anything serious, she only wanted to have fun and she wanted a guy with who she could make out. So I said, why not? After all, I was sure that nothing serious was going to happen with her and that was great. So yeah, we started hanging out with no labels. With time, I found out that she was doing this with other guys, but I didn't mind because, as I said, she really didn't mean so much for me, she was only a girl with who I could have fun. As time passed by, our make out sessions were getting more intense and hot; we only wanted each other to satisfy our urges and needs. And she was my first. After the first time we had sex, we used to have sex as daily basis. But nothing ever got serious; at no moment any of us wanted to set this as a serious relationship. It was something more like friends with benefits which was cool for me. I liked her, but I didn't love her; I just liked her appearance. What Joey said about her was accurate; but I didn't care how she was personally, because I never thought about spending my life with her. No freaking way. It was kind of a relief that I haven't seen her or talked to her while I was in San Francisco, because I wanted to have a break; sometimes she was annoying and very capricious. And the truth was that I didn't want to see her again; I just didn't want to have that kind of vicious life. Maybe Joey was right, maybe I should just leave her. I knew she wouldn't feel bad if I decided to leave her, because I was aware that I meant nothing to her but a fuck buddy. But I still wasn't sure if I wanted to do it, because surely I wouldn't find another girl who wanted the same than me: To have something with no special attachment. I just didn't want to have a girlfriend; I didn't want a love affair. It has been a year, but I still wasn't ready for that.

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_**"Turn off that shit, Darren! Fuck!"**_ Joey exclaimed annoyed when my alarm rang the next morning at 7am. Of course, I did nothing, I was still sleeping and his voice and the music seemed distant. _**"Oh crap, who has the song Hakuna Matata as an alarm? Oh damn you, Darren."**_

_**"Hakuna Matata! What a wonderful phrase. Hakuna Matata! Ain't no passing craze."**_ I sang amused and hoarsely before I finally got up and turned off my alarm. _**"This is an awesome song, Joey. You should be thankful that you got to listen to it; now you'll start your morning with a lot of energy."**_

_**"Run away from here if you don't want me to kick your ass."**_ Joey complained, covering his face with the pillow.

_**"Whatever, get up! We have to go to class."**_ I said walking to the bathroom to brush my teeth.

_**"Yeah, yeah..." **_He said hoarsely still covering his face with the pillow as I heard how he was also singing the song. _**"It means no worries for the rest of your days. It's our problem-free philosophy. Hakuna Matata." **_

I laughed when I heard him from the bathroom and when I came back to the bedroom, he was already dressed and he seemed to be in good mood, whistling the song. I looked at him amused, raising an eyebrow and when he noticed this, he looked at me suspiciously.

_**"What?"**_ He asked.

_**"Nothing; nothing at all."**_ I answered chuckling as I looked for something to wear. _**"I say Hakuna."**_ I sang loudly while putting on my jeans.

_**"I say Matata!"**_ Joey sang just as loudly from the bathroom.

We joked a little before we went out to go to the School of Music, Theatre & Dance. Yeah, I was to going to major in Theater Performance and get a B.F.A. in performance and acting. Now Joey and I had to share this class, Acting I. I knew that many of the guys who I met last year were going to that class too, so I was in a really good mood; I loved that class. When we arrived to our classroom, Meredith was already there, alone. I greeted her with a hug and Joey greeted her with a super tight hug.

_**"Get out of here, Richter! You're choking me!"**_ Meredith complained, punching softly Joey's arm and he finally let her.

_**"How are you Mere?"**_ Joey greeted cheerfully.

_**"I'm doing fine, excited to start this class."**_ She said smiling widely and pouncing. _**"What about you guys?" **_

_**"Bad, too bad because this piece of shit next to me..."**_ Joey said looking fixedly at me before looking at Meredith again. _**"Woke me up with an absurd song." **_

_**"Oh please, that is one of the best songs. Besides, I don't know why you're complaining now if minutes earlier you were singing and dancing that song."**_ I mocked him, chuckling amused.

_**"What song?"**_ She asked intrigued, looking at as amused.

_**"Hakuna..."**_ I started saying, looking at Joey.

_**"Matata!"**_ He yelled in a funny way and Meredith and I burst out laughing.

_**"That's a great song. We should soon watch a Disney movie. I offer my room to do it."**_ Meredith said excited.

_**"I'm totally in!"**_ I exclaimed just as excited.

_**"What would your new roommate say about this?"**_ Joey asked. Oh yeah, I totally forgot that Meredith had a stranger as her roommate.

_**"I don't know; if we don't try we'll never know."**_ She replied shrugging.

_**"Yeah, right. How is this girl? Is she cool?"**_ I asked intrigued.

_**"Is she hot?"**_ Joey asked amused and Meredith laughed as I looked at Joey amused.

_**"Yeah... I don't know. She's weird."**_ Meredith said frowning.

_**"Weird in a good way?"**_ I asked intrigued.

_**"In a way that I still don't know if she's a spiritualist psychopath or if she's nice, funny and just weird in a cool way. I still don't know."**_ She answered still frowning and shrugging. _**"And answering your question, Joey; yes, she's kind of hot, but she's weird not only personally but also physically. She wears weird and colorful clothes and her hair looks weird; but she's pretty."**_ She said nodding slowly. _**"Anyway, she won't stay with me all the year, at the end of this term, she's gonna move with another person."**_

_**"Oh geez, what have you done Stepien?"**_ I asked amused, frowning.

_**"She saw my mustache and it terrified her."**_ She said serious and pretending to be thoughtful as Joey and I laughed.

_**"Poor girl."**_ Joey said still laughing, shaking his head.

_**"Yeah, poor little girl."**_ She said also shaking her head. _**"Nah, really. I think she has a friend here, but she couldn't share the room with this person in this term because the guy had already a roommate."**_

_**"Oh, so she has a boyfriend. Too bad."**_ Joey said pretending to be anguished.

_**"Oh no, the guy is only a friend. At least that is what she told me. So do not lose your hopes, Joey."**_ Meredith said winking. _**"I think you'll like her, Joey. Maybe I could introduce her to you."**_ She said mischievously.

_**"Oh no, not again!"**_ Joey complained and I shook my head amused. I knew he was going to complain.

_**"No, really! She's not the normal and ordinary kind of girl. She's kind of silly just like you."**_ Meredith said, now seriously talking.

_**"So am I silly? Oh good to know!"**_ Joey exclaimed loudly and I laughed.

_**"Darren!"**_ I heard a woman's voice yelling behind me.

As soon as I heard that voice, I recognized it and I wanted to run away. Joey and Meredith looked at me displeased as I only looked down and bit my lower lip. Damn, I hated this. I knew she was walking to me, but I played dumb and didn't turn around.

_**"Darren, you and I have to talk!"**_ She said irked. Now she was right next to me and I couldn't play dumb anymore.

_**"Hey, Kelly."**_ I greeted her pretending that I just heard her. _**"What's up?"**_ I asked nervously but hiding it, because I knew I was in troubles. For what anyway? But I knew that when she was this annoyed, nothing good could come.

_**"You fucking idiot!" **_She yelled angrily as she started beating my back with her bag.

_**"Hey! Hey! What the hell?"**_ I exclaimed now upset, trying to push her softly away from me.

_**"You didn't call me!"**_ She complained irritated.

_**"Oh man, I didn't know I had the obligation to call you."**_ I said looking at her in disbelief.

_**"You asshole!"**_ She yelled angrily again beating my back with her bag and now Joey and Meredith attempted to stop her, but they didn't and I was glad for it, because this was something only between me and Kelly and I could manage this situation by myself.

_**"Stop it, Kelly!"**_ I said loudly and bossy, really annoyed, putting her hands and her bag away. _**"Goddammit!"**_ I exclaimed loudly, still looking at her in disbelief. _**"As far as I know, we don't have an engagement; so I don't know why you're now reproaching me that I didn't call you. And in any case, you neither called."**_ I said harshly, raising an eyebrow. _**"And for the record, we're not in high school anymore; so I won't stand those stupid whimsical and temperamental scenes. Grow up for once and all."**_ I said annoyed and harshly. Fuck, I was doing well until she came here.

_**"What did you say?"**_ She asked menacingly and hysterically.

_**"You heard me, Kelly."**_ I replied looking away and serious. I should have guessed that she was going to slap me the way she did. _**"What the fuck, Kelly? What the fuck?"**_ I asked really angry.

_**"You got what you deserve."**_ She said arrogantly and I shook my head, looking at her disgusted.

_**"What I deserve?"**_ I asked laughing incredulous. _**"So tell me, why do I deserve this? Because I still don't know." **_

_**"Because you're a jerk. You haven't texted me, you haven't called me; you've disappeared. And now you surely expect to hang out with me again. So what? Do I have to pretend that your absence never existed?"**_ She replied spleenful.

_**"Listen, we agreed that our relationship wasn't going to have any kind of close attachment. We're just together to have fun and to fool around; if you don't want to take it and you're looking for a serious relationship; well then, I applause you and I wish you luck. But that's not gonna happen with me."**_ I said very serious and she was looking away while she was huffing in annoyance.

_**"I don't want a serious relationship."**_ She said still looking away.

_**"So do not reproach me anything and do not expect from me nice and cheesy words. You don't love me and I don't love you, we both know that. We're only friends with benefits, and we aren't even friends because we never shared anything but a bed together." **_I answered quiet and indifferent. _**"You wanted that, you proposed me that; I don't know if you remember."**_

_**"Yeah, I do remember."**_ She answered prideful, still looking away and her arms crossed.

_**"Good."**_ I said nodding, raising an eyebrow. _**"Now if you excuse me, I wanna be with my friends."**_ I said turning around and walking to Meredith and Joey who were serious looking at me.

_**"Darren?"**_ Kelly said behind me and I turned my face to see her.

_**"Yeah?"**_ I asked.

_**"Are we fine, right? I mean, we'll still be friends with benefits, right?" **_She asked looking fixedly at me.

_**"Yeah, sure."**_ I replied, shrugging.

When she nodded, I turned around again. I saw surreptitiously that she was walking away from me to go with one of her friends or lovers; I didn't know and didn't care. I finally walked to Joey and Meredith with my hands on the pockets of my jeans, pretending to be indifferent. I knew that Joey and Meredith were going to comment something about this and I didn't want to talk about it.

_**"Why are you with that girl, Darren?"**_ Meredith asked displeased.

_**"I asked him the same thing last night."**_ Joey said shaking his head in disapproval.

_**"And you know why I'm with her, Joey. We don't have anything serious, we're just..." **_

_**"Fuck buddies."**_ Joey said roundly.

_**"Yeah, yeah, something like that... I'd prefer call it two people with no strings attached."**_ I said running my fingers through my hair because I didn't like to talk about this and I didn't like how that word sounded.

_**"Call it whatever you want, Darren. If you don't want to have a serious relationship for whatever your reasons are, it's fine; but you should look for another girl. This girl is just... a bitch."**_ Meredith said serious and I sighed.

_**"Told him so too."**_ Joey said shrugging.

_**"Kelly is fine. She doesn't want anything serious and I won't find another girl like that... Girls like her that doesn't want anything serious are with the hot guys." **_I said in a jokingly way because I didn't want to explain anything else. Anyway, it didn't work because they were still looking at me serious and neither of them laughed.

_**"I'd introduce you my roommate, but she doesn't seem the kind of girl who wants to have only sex and fun at college; as much as weird and funny she is, she's taking college in a responsible way."**_ Meredith said thoughtful and biting her lower lip.

_**"Hey! I take college in a responsible way too!"**_ I said amused and Joey and Meredith looked at me raising an eyebrow like saying 'Yeah, sure.' _**"I don't want to have only sex and fun. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a floozy. It's just that for now, I don't wanna be involved in any love affair."**_ I said now talking in all seriousness. _**"Besides, your roommate is for Joey, remember?"**_

_**"Hell yeah! Joey, really, you'll like her. Besides, she needs to know more people here, won't you help her?"**_ Meredith said excited, smiling widely.

_**"I thought we were talking about Darren." **_Joey said frowning, looking away.

_**"Come on, bud. Give her a chance. Who knows? Maybe she ends up being the love of your life." **_I said in a cheesy way, laughing amused.

_**"Maybe she's gonna be the Sam for your Frodo. Really, she kinda looks like a hobbit."**_ Meredith said with eyes wide open.

_**"Why doesn't it surprise me that you're relating everything with The Lord of the Rings?"**_ I asked amused.

_**"Deal with it. The Lord of the Rings rocks." **_She answered amused.

_**"Well, well; but hold on. If she looks like a hobbit, maybe she should be with Darren, they'll be the hobbit squared."**_ Joey mocked me and I gave him a mockingly smile.

_**"Yeah, could be. But the girl is for you Joey and it's decided. You won't say no until you give her chance, get it? Get it?"**_ Meredith said almost aggressively.

_**"Yeah, yeah, get it!"**_ Joey huffed. _**"Can we talk about Darren again now?" **_

_**"Hey, no! Why would you talk about me again? No."**_ I refused strongly.

_**"I could ask my roommate if she knows a girl for you, Darren. Yeah..."**_ Meredith said thoughtful as if she was planning something.

_**"Whatever."**_ I replied to end with this conversation.

Finally the other guys arrived and Joey and Meredith started talking about something else before the class finally started. It was a quiet class, like all the first classes of each course. I started thinking what Joey and Meredith said, maybe yeah, I should find someone else, but I didn't want. Yeah, I didn't like at all what Kelly recently did because she was aware that we weren't a couple so she couldn't reproach me anything; but still, she was the only one with who I knew that I was never going to have something else. But yeah, she was starting to annoy me; maybe because I didn't want to be with her anymore, maybe because I didn't like to have a girl with who only have sex; that wasn't me. But also the truth was that I couldn't fall in love; no matter how hard I tried, it wouldn't happen. After the class finished, I was really thankful that Kelly didn't come to talk to me; instead, she went away with this guy. When I realized what I was thinking, I realized that I was making bad decisions and I was doing everything wrong; I shouldn't feel like this with someone.

_**"Hey, Darren. Are you coming with us?"**_ Dylan asked when everybody was leaving.

_**"Where?"**_ I asked because I wasn't listening what they were talking about.

_**"We're going to The Blue Apple to get a sandwich."**_ Lauren replied.

_**"Yeah, because this time I'm not the only one who's hungry."**_ Meredith said.

_**"Oh yeah, thanks, but I have another class right now."**_ I answered.

_**"Which one?"**_ Brian asked.

_**"Costume Design I. Yeah."**_ I replied and I knew I was going to be alone because they already took that course.

_**"Really? Me too!"**_ Julia exclaimed. _**"Why don't we go together?"**_

_**"Yes, that's so cool. I thought I was going to be alone there."**_ I said looking at her.

_**"Yes, me too."**_ Julia chuckled. _**"Alright guys, see you later."**_

_**"Yeah, see you later."**_ They answered.

_**"Wait! Guys, after that class you can go to the Lakewood Nature Area to have an adventure! We'll be there at 4pm."**_ Joe Walker said excited.

_**"Umm, yeah, sure."**_ I answered wondering what they could have planned now.

So then Julia and I went away to go to our next class. Thankfully she had that course because honestly I didn't want to go alone and that was a course that I should have took in my first year; but I was also studying Musicology, so I couldn't take that course because courses overlapped. We arrived early and we chose the seats back of the classroom. While we were waiting for students and the professor to arrive, Julia and I started talking.

_**"So, how was the start of this new year here?"**_ Julia asked, smiling friendly.

_**"It was quite good. I really wanted to come back here. I mean, I missed my family, but last year in here I gained personal independence and when I was at my parents' house, I felt as if I had no privacy. I really got used to have independence and do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted and there you have to respect some schedules and shit."**_ I replied shrugging.

_**"Yeah, I get it. I felt the same way. Like, I needed my own space."**_ Julia said chuckling. _**"And how was your encounter with Kelly?"**_

_**"Oh man!"**_ I exclaimed in disbelief. _**"Why everybody talks about Kelly?" **_

_**"Because you guys are dating."**_ Julia answered frowning, apparently confused.

_**"No, we're not dating at all. We just... We don't have any kind of relationship; we just hang out and have fun occasionally. I... I'm not really interested on her."**_ I answered awkwardly.

_**"Oh, I see. Like fuck buddies?"**_ She asked and I looked at her incredulous. Why everybody said that?

_**"Yeah, like that."**_ I answered now looking away.

_**"You don't seem happy to be with her." **_Julia said after a while.

_**"Well, maybe I'm not. But whatever, it's just to have fun."**_ I answered still looking away, serious.

_**"Can I tell you what I think, no offense?"**_ Julia asked politely.

_**"Sure, shoot."**_ I replied quiet. Julia was with one of the people with who I could talk honestly because she had something in her way of talking that reminded me to Jen. She was friendly and nice, and she always listened to me and had an advice, a good one.

_**"I think that Kelly once made you happy, because with her you experienced new things." **_Julia said and I knew what she was talking about, because only she knew that I was virgin before being with Kelly. _**"But the girl is trying to get something else from you; something that you don't want that is to have a little bit more serious relationship; not as a couple, but yes something stable. I still don't know why you don't want it; but I'm glad you don't want it, not with her. This girl has a lot of lovers and she'll be unfaithful and you deserve more than that; besides, Kelly only cares about her own interests. When was the last time that you were the one deciding what wanted to do instead her?" **_Julia asked looking at me and I sighed.

_**"Never happened."**_ I replied curtly.

_**"Exactly. She's all the time making decisions for you and you barely do what you really want. And that's silly and I know you aren't like that. This girl is turning you into a person you aren't. And I can openly say this because I know you when you aren't with her and you're completely different."**_ She said softly.

_**"Yeah, it may be like that." **_I answered gloomy, shrugging.

_**"See what I say? You're not happy and I do think that you don't want to be with her. You're only used at being with her because you're stuck in something that doesn't exist anymore that is when you used to have fun with her. Let me ask you something... How did you feel when you were in San Francisco, away from her?"**_ Julia asked roundly.

_**"Relieved and free."**_ I replied honestly.

_**"There you have."**_ Julia said. _**"I think you'll have more fun without her than with her. You don't need her. If you let her go, maybe you'll find a worthwhile girl." **_

_**"I don't think so. I mean, yeah, maybe you're right when you said I could have more fun without her; but I just don't think I'll meet a worthwhile girl. Not that there aren't worthwhile girls; just that there aren't worthwhile girls for me, for what I want."**_ I answered gloomy again, avoiding Julia's look.

_**"I think you've been hurt in the past so now you don't believe in true love anymore."**_ She said roundly and now I looked at her astonished. What the hell?

_**"Maybe..."**_ I answered curtly because now I was feeling uncomfortable and I didn't want to talk anymore.

_**"But it does exist; sometime you'll see that it does exist."**_ She said kindly.

_**"Yeah, maybe, sometime."**_ I answered curtly again. _**"It is weird that the professor didn't arrive yet."**_ I said looking at the door of the classroom, trying to change the topic of conversation.

_**"Yes, it is."**_ She said frowning, also looking at the door of the classroom. Phew, fortunately she stopped talking about it. Right in that moment, the professor arrived.

_**"Hello class, I'm Professor Jessica Hahn."**_ The professor greeted. She was pretty and she had about forty years old. And she seemed to be very strict. _**"This is Costume Design I and in this course you'll learn the art and process of costume design, with strong emphasis on text and character analysis and methods of research. You also will get an introduction to basic drawing skills and other visual options in presenting design ideas..." **_

_**"Sorry, is this Costume Design I?"**_ Someone asked, entering the classroom.

Everybody looked at that direction. The first I did was to see the face of the professor who didn't seem to be happy to have been interrupted by someone; she seemed really irked and severe. Then I looked at the door to see who the person that interrupted was. The first thing I saw was something really colorful; but very colorful. It was a girl wearing a dress with the colors of a rainbow; a girl with very short hair and a peculiar presence. From where I was sitting, I couldn't see clearly her face, but her colors caught my attention; I think that her colors caught everybody's attention because no one would stop looking at her.

_**"Yes it is and you're ten minutes late."**_ The professor answered severely.

_**"I'm sorry, this is my first class and I was lost, I couldn't find the place."**_ The girl answered well-mannered.

_**"Alright, only because this is the first class, you can come and sit."**_ The professor said.

_**"Thank you, professor."**_ The girl replied with a smile, walking, trying to find a seat.

_**"I won't allow anyone to arrive late in this course. Whoever arrives late, I won't..."**_ The professor started explained but I wasn't listening to her anymore.

I was seeing the girl who was coming closer. She didn't walk to my direction, but I could see more clearly her face now. She seemed very familiar; yeah, very. I started feeling very nervous and my body started trembling because I was in shock; I was astonished and puzzled; it couldn't be; no, it couldn't be Freckles. Why would she be attending this University? Why would she wear colorful clothes and dresses? Why would she have short hair? Which were the chances? No, maybe she was very similar to her; because Freckles didn't look like that as far as I remembered her. She sat away from me and when she sat, I couldn't see her face anymore. Damn, I wanted that girl to look at my direction, to look at me; I needed to check if that girl over there was Freckles or not; probably not, but I needed to be sure. But she never looked at me and I spent all the class looking at that girl. I couldn't remember when was the last time that I felt this way, that I felt my heart beating so fast, that I felt so nervous that my body was shaking. No matter who that girl was, she made me feel that way and now I needed to talk to her; I needed to see her closer. I wanted to stand up and walk to her, but the professor was very strict and I didn't want to have problems the first class; so I decided to wait until the end of the class.

_**"This was all, students. I'll see you next Monday at the same time in the same classroom. I don't want anybody to arrive late, clear?"**_ The professor said.

I quickly grabbed my bag and stood up. I needed to go right where this girl was. Determined, I started walking to her.

_**"Darren! Hey, wait. Where are you going?"**_ I heard Julia asking and I turned my face to look at her.

_**"Sorry, I'm in a hurry. See you later, Julia."**_ I greeted friendly but exasperated because I was nervous.

_**"But we agreed that we were going to..." **_

_**"Sorry, I can't go; later I'll explain."**_ I said hurriedly, interrupting her.

But when I turned around again, it was too late. The girl wasn't there anymore. I ran to the door of the classroom to try to reach that girl. When I got out the classroom, I looked in every direction to try to find her; in the distance, I recognized her because of her colorful dress. She was walking alone, but then a guy started walking next to her, talking to her. The hallway was crowded, but I ran to her anyway. Man, I needed to reach her; I needed to see her face.

_**"Excuse me! Excuse me!"**_ I started yelling and pushing softly people on my way while I was still trying to run to the girl. _**"Hey you! You!"**_ I yelled looking at the girl, but she didn't turn around; I didn't know how to call her so she would stop. _**"Colorful girl! Hey!"**_ I yelled but she didn't turn around.

Then I saw how she left the building and a bunch of people entered the building as I tried to keep running but it was almost impossible. After a while, I finally left the building and I looked around. Oh no, fuck. The campus was enormous and it was crowded; I couldn't find that girl; I couldn't even see the colorful dress.

_**"Shit!"**_ I yelled frustrated and a group of people looked at me as if I were crazy. I just looked at them. _**"Have you seen a girl with a colorful dress and short hair?"**_ I asked to them and they replied me only shaking their heads. _**"Oh crap."**_

I tried to look for the girl, but then I gave up. I wasn't going to find her. Maybe someday, if I was lucky, I was going to see her again before next Monday. I walked alone to my room in the Baits Houses, feeling very frustrated and weird. That girl really was very similar to Freckles. When I arrived to my room, Joey wasn't there and I was thankful for that; I really wanted to be alone and think about that weird feeling I had during that course of Costume Design. Man, I thought that I was never going to feel that way again. After a few hours, someone knocked the door. Surely it was Joey, he was used to forget his keys; like always. But it wasn't Joey; instead, it was Kelly. I didn't even have the time to greet her or ask her what she was doing here; because she pounced on me, wrapping her arms around my neck to kiss me fiercely, leading me inside the room again and closing the door behind her. She led me directly to my bed and she pulled me there before she got on top of me, kissing me and wrapping her arms around me and intertwining her legs with mine as if she was an octopus or something. She didn't even let me breathe. While still kissing me fiercely and biting my lips, she took off her shirt and then her bra, very abruptly. Then she tried to take my shirt off and she kinda ripped it. Yeah, this was very arousing; but I didn't have my mind in there; at least to fully. She took her jeans off and then she started unbuttoning my jeans and, fiercely and abruptly, she took my jeans off as if she was an expert and she was very desperate. She was kissing me in a way that seemed that she wanted to eat my mouth. It was not long after she put her hand underneath my underwear and started stroking my dick. Oh fuck, no, I couldn't resist this; I was already aroused, so I was already hard. She quickly took off my underwear and she started licking my stomach and from there, she went directly to my penis. O yeah, oh fuck; I couldn't stop moaning. I didn't want to do this, but I couldn't resist the pleasure I was feeling and more when she started giving me a blowjob. She knew when to speed up, slow down, and tease; she was good at this; oh damn, she was going to blow me away. Oh yeah, I was feeling it, I was going to cum. But before I could cum, she stopped giving me a blowjob and stood up to take off her panties and then she got on top of me again.

_**"Wait, wait..."**_ I moaned weakly when I felt her warm body on me.

_**"What?"**_ She complained in a moan, while nibbling my earlobe.

_**"Need a... Need a condom."**_ I tried to say in between moans.

_**"Forget about it, ugh."**_ She moaned and she tried to make the first move.

_**"Are you crazy? No, I need it..."**_ I said frowning, pulling her away softly. _**"It'll just take few seconds..."**_ I said.

So I stood up to walk to the closet and find the condoms as she lay down in bed, with her legs open, waiting for me and looking at me. Crap, where the hell were the condoms? While searching them, a box dropped on the floor and shattered. When I saw what it was in there, I stopped searching the condoms to kneel and see all of that stuff. I stayed silent looking at those things as I started feeling really bad.

_**"Hurry up, Darren!"**_ Kelly yelled annoyed.

_**"Please, leave."**_ I said gloomy.

_**"What?"**_ She asked in disbelief.

_**"I want you to leave, Kelly."**_ I repeated, this time a bit harsh.

_**"What? Can't you find a damn condom?"**_ She asked in disbelief.

_**"No, I do have stupid condoms; but I want you to get out of here. I don't wanna do this; so get out, Kelly."**_ I said harshly.

_**"What the fuck is wrong with you, Criss?"**_ She asked just as harshly. She was upset, but I didn't care.

_**"Nothing of your business. So just get dressed and leave."**_ I said roughly.

_**"Why would I...?"**_ She started complained.

_**"For fuck's sake, get the fuck out of here! Goddammit!"**_ I yelled really annoyed and toughly.

_**"Fine, you fucking idiot."**_ She exclaimed gaudily, getting up and starting dressing up quickly and abruptly, bad tempered. _**"You suck."**_

_**"Whatever."**_ I said indifferent and she threw my jeans on my face before she turned around to leave, but I didn't care. I just wanted her to leave.

When I heard how Kelly closed the door, I looked at all the things that were on the floor now. The first thing I grabbed was a photo. It has been more than a year since the last time I saw her; and when I saw the picture that Freckles and I took when we went for a bike ride once, I realized how much I missed her. I stared the photo for a long time as tears started falling down my face and I couldn't help it. We were so young and so happy; she was beautiful. We were so full of hopes, of love, of feelings. I never ever felt as the same way I felt when I was with her, like so complete and fully happy; not even when it was my first time with Kelly. Freckles was the only reason why I didn't want to have a serious relationship; not that I didn't want, I just couldn't. No girl was able to make me feel the way she did; no girl was as Freckles was, no one ever could be the way she was hence no one ever would be as good as she was for me. I was never going to love someone the way I loved her. And all those photos that I was seeing now, all those notes and letters from her; all those unfinished songs that I wrote for her and never had the chance to show them to her; all those songs that I couldn't finish because it broke me whenever I tried to do it when I remembered the reasons why we weren't together anymore. I remembered that day perfectly, the last day I saw her. I was sleeping with her after the best experience I've ever had and then, when she was asleep, Jim showed up in the hotel room. I remembered perfectly how he had a gun and he threatened me with killing her if I didn't write that damn note. And I was so scared that I did it, and it broke me when I left the note there and Jim tied me and forced me to get into his car. I remembered how he drove far away and threw me in the middle of nowhere after punching my face till bleeding. But I didn't care the physical pain, because it was more painful what I was feeling because of what Jim forced me to do. And before leaving me there, Jim threatened me with killing her if I dared to find her, to talk to her, to tell her the truth; he forced me to stay away from her and never see her again if I didn't want him to kill her. Jim was completely mad and that gun was loaded. And then I had to come here, at the University of Michigan; I couldn't even see her and it broke my heart, nothing went as I expected with her. And I swear that I tried to call her; I tried to call her every single damn day of my first term; but apparently she changed her number. I tried to call her sister, her mother; but no one of them had the same phone number. When it was winter, I came back to San Francisco. The first thing I did was to go to her house; I did it even before seeing my family. But no one was at her house; her house had a sign that said for sale. I went to my old high school, but she wasn't there; she never came back since the time she was expelled. I spent my winter holidays searching for her in every single high school in San Francisco; but she wasn't anywhere. I tried to find her father's house, but apparently he wasn't living in San Francisco. I even tried to talk to Brian because I had his number since the time he texted me to give me the video that I still had; but I couldn't talk to him, because it wasn't his number anymore. Freckles was nowhere; as if she suddenly disappeared from the earth. When I came back to Ann Arbor, I still searched for her in internet, to find out where she could be; I got nothing at all. After ten months searching for her, I finally gave up. Even if it broke my heart, I needed to admit that I wasn't going to find her and I needed to forget her. I tried to move on and it was really hard; I tried to forget her by doing other things to distract; and that is when Kelly appeared. I pretended so hard to be doing fine that I ended up believing that lie. And I wasn't aware anymore that it was lie until I saw all those photos, letters and songs again. Damn, how I missed her! Then I saw the video that Brian gave me when I thought that Freckles was W and I grabbed it. I walked to the T.V. and I put the video. When I saw her face and I heard her voice again, I cried; I cried in a way that I haven't cried for a long time. If only I could find her... I spent almost all the night replaying the video to see and hear her while placing the photo of the two of us on my chest. And I fell asleep on the floor, with the photo on my chest and watching the video over and over, as I was singing a song in my head…

_I've used hammers made out of wood_

_I have played games with pieces and rules_

_I undeciphered tricks at the bar_

_But now you're gone, I haven't figured out why_

_I've come up with riddles and jokes about war_

_I've figured out numbers and what they're for_

_I've understood feelings and I've understood words_

_But how could you be taken away?_

_And wherever you've gone _

_And wherever we might go_

_It don't seem fair...today just disappeared_

_Your light's reflected now, reflected from afar_

_We were but stones, your light made us stars_

_With heavy breath, awakened regrets_

_Back pages and days alone that could have been spent, together.._

_But we were miles apart_

_Every inch between us becomes light years now_

_No time to be void or save up on life_

_You got to spend it all.._

_And wherever you've gone _

_And wherever we might go_

_It don't seem fair...you seem to like it here_

_Your light's reflected now, reflected from afar_

_We were but stones, your light made us stars_

_And wherever you've gone _

_And wherever we might go_

_It don't seem fair...today just disappeared_

_Your light's reflected now, reflected from afar_

_We were but stones, your light made us stars._

* * *

Next morning I woke up strained and I had contractures. Yeah, I was still on the floor with the photo and the video was still playing over and over. My eyes really hurt and I felt them heavy, they were swollen. I looked around: Joey wasn't there. I checked my phone and I had a text message from him telling me that he wasn't going to sleep in the room because he was going to stay at Brian and Joe Walker's room. I watched the time, it was 8am and of course, I was already late for my first class of the day. Anyway, I wasn't feeling like going to classes; I wasn't feeling good at all. I just stood up and left the photo under my pillow and I stopped the video. I went to the bathroom and I looked in the mirror. Holy shit, I looked sick. My eyes were red and swollen and I had dark circles. I decided to take a shower so maybe that way I was going to feel better; because honestly I was feeling so tired and sick to do something at all; I was just very crestfallen and I had a terrible headache. When I finished taking a shower, I was feeling as same as before; so I walked directly to my bed, grabbing the photo of me and Freckles. I lay down on my side and I placed the photo on the pillow just next to me to stare it. I spent all the morning doing this. My phone buzzed several times, but I didn't even look at it, I didn't want. It was time for lunch, but I wasn't hungry; so I stayed in my bed. My back started aching for being for so long in bed that I had to get up. I saw the things on the floor again and I walked directly to there to grab one of the unfinished songs. Seeing that picture and watching the video, remembering Freckles and all we've shared and lived together, remembering how much we loved each other and remembering all the plans I had for my life with her; made me feel kind of inspired. She was always my muse. I grabbed a pen and my guitar and I sat on my bed to start writing the song to finish it. I wrote the song as if I were writing my name, judging by how fast all my emotions, words and composition came so fluently. Once finished it, I played it with my guitar and I realized that it wasn't going to work with a guitar, it needed to be played with a piano. So I looked for my keyboard and I started playing the song again. Yes, that was the song, the perfect song and melody. Finally I could finish that song that I always wanted to compose for her. When I realized that I was never going to be able to play it to her, I felt really down. Man, I didn't want to feel all of this again; I just wanted to be fine again.

_**"Darren, what the hell!"**_ Joey said suddenly, entering the room and I shivered because of his sudden appearance. _**"I've been texting and calling you all the day long! Where the hell is your damn phone?"**_

_**"I don't know."**_ I answered shrugging, hiding the lyrics of the song and the picture of me and Freckles under the pillow.

_**"You don't know! Fuck you, Darren. We were worried and more after Julia told us how you ran away yesterday when your class of Costume Design finished. We didn't know what the hell could have happened to you; you didn't go to classes today and that is weird; you don't reply the text messages, you don't take our calls. Nothing!" **_Joey exclaimed really upset and concerned.

_**"Oh please, Joey, you're overreacting. I'm not five; I can take care of myself. And what if I skipped my classes? What? Am I not allowed to do it at least one day? Besides, I haven't skipped all the classes; I'm still on time to take the last class."**_ I replied annoyed.

_**"Are you fucking kidding me? Do you have a class at 10pm?"**_ Joey asked sarcastically.

_**"It's not 10pm."**_ I answered but not so sure.

_**"If you open the window, you'll see that is a wonderful starry night, Criss."**_ Joey said upset and damn, he was right. I spent all the day here, it was night now and I didn't even realize it was this late. _**"What the hell buddy? Look at your face! You look sick! Have you been crying?"**_

_**"What? No! Not at all."**_ I lied, refusing abruptly because suddenly I felt very ashamed. _**"I just woke up with headache, that's all. And I've been sleeping all day long to get better, that is why I skipped my classes and I didn't text back or take the calls. Sorry, okay?"**_ I finally apologized. Part of what I said was true, but that wasn't the real reason and I wouldn't tell him it all.

_**"How are you feeling now?"**_ He asked.

_**"I'm good now; I really am."**_ I lied again.

_**"Good; so you can come with me tonight."**_ He said looking for clothes in his closet.

_**"What? Where?"**_ I asked frowning.

_**"Meredith invited us to go to her room tonight. We'll drink some beers and we'll meet her roommate. It seems that her roommate loves Disney movies and when Meredith asked if she minded if she invited friends, her roommate said that she wanted to meet us and she seemed to be excited about it. Apparently, she is weird in a good way; that is what Meredith said."**_ Joey explained while changing his clothes and I only sighed.

_**"I'm not feeling like socializing tonight, Joey. I don't wanna go there, maybe another day."**_ I said lying down in bed.

_**"Please, Darren! Meredith talked to me about this girl and she really seems to be a cool person; maybe with this girl is gonna be different. I really wanna meet her; you were the one to tell me to give her a chance and this is what I'm doing. I'm gonna give her a chance, maybe I'll like her and I could get a real date."**_ Joey said trying to convince me as I looked away.

_**"Why don't you go alone? You don't have to go with me."**_ I complained.

_**"Because I'll be alone with Meredith and her roommate. If you go, you can stay with Meredith and that way I'll have the chance to talk to this girl alone."**_ Joey said again trying to convince me.

_**"What if you go with any of the guys?"**_ I asked. Now that Joey explained me that I didn't want him to go alone, but I really didn't want to go there.

_**"No, it's impossible. The guys are going at some party of the Fraternity."**_ Joey answered. _**"Come on buddy, do it for me, only for tonight." **_He said almost supplicant.

_**"Alright, alright; I'll go."**_ I finally answered, sighing.

_**"Oh man! Thank you a lot!"**_ He exclaimed exaggeratedly.

_**"Yeah, yeah; someday you'll have to return me the favor."**_ I said standing up to change my clothes.

After a while, Joey and I were already ready and now we were waiting for Meredith to open the door of her room. Well, she wasn't in the same housing than us, she was at Bursley Hall housing; so it took time to get there, it wasn't far but we had to walk through the campus. Joey was very excited to meet this girl and if I didn't know him any better, I'd have said that he was nervous. It was funny to see him so exalted and cheerful and it was even funnier to know that it was because of a girl. Finally Joey was open to meet a new girl and I was totally glad for this; I only wished that this girl could be cool enough for him so he wouldn't be disappointed. Meredith finally opened the door. Oh wow, now I was intrigued to see her roommate and I could imagine how intrigued Joey was.

_**"Hi guys!"**_ Meredith greeted cheerful. _**"Come on, come in!"**_ She said and both Joey and I got in.

_**"Oh whoa! What the hell?"**_ I exclaimed loudly, impressed, when I saw her room.

_**"I know, this is fantastic, isn't it?"**_ Meredith said excited. _**"My roommate did it all and decorated our room."**_

But Joey and I weren't listening; we were admiring that room because it was completely awesome. The boring and typical room was very cheerful and colorful with all the drawings and paintings on the wall. The lamps had an original shade and the color was different depending of the room, so the room didn't have only one color. They also had handmade cups and dishes. On the closet there were huge handmade mirrors, also colorful. The funny thing was that the room was very colorful but it didn't look ridiculous; it looked harmonious; and who the hell was able to do it without making a complete disaster and grotesque ambient?

_**"This is totally awesome."**_ I exclaimed very impressed.

_**"I wanna live here, man."**_ Joey exclaimed.

_**"Yeah, she's talented."**_ Meredith said smiling widely.

_**"Where is she, by the way?"**_ Joey asked intrigued and Meredith laughed.

_**"She's in the bedroom. Come with me."**_ She said winking.

_**"Oh no, maybe it's not a good idea. What if she's dressing or something? We'll wait here."**_ I said uncomfortable.

"_**You'll wait here; I'll go to see the lady."**_ Joey said smiling mischievously and I shook my head as Meredith laughed.

_**"No, she has dressed up long time ago. She is now painting, that's her favorite place to paint."**_ Meredith answered. _**"Follow me."**_

And we did it. Meredith led us to the bedroom and there she was. I thought that she was the same girl I saw in my Costume Design class, because this girl also had short hair and colorful clothes. Yeah, it surely was the same girl. She was giving us her back and she didn't hear us entering the bedroom, then I noticed it was because she had earphones. She was wearing a short and colorful top, so her naked waist was showing; and she was also wearing a pair of low waist torn jeans, very tight jeans that fitted perfectly on her body and highlighted her skinny-fit legs and her firm and toned apple butt. Oh holy crap, she was sexy. I couldn't take my eyes off her.

_**"Holy dead God! Look at that ass! Oh damn, I need a cold shower."**_ Joey exclaimed in a whisper, open-mouthed, looking fixedly at her ass.

_**"I know, man. Shit, it's like... Man, I want like to pinch it."**_ I replied, also looking at her ass open-mouthed.

_**"Guys, I'm still here." **_Meredith said chuckling. _**"You're drooling."**_ She mocked us, but we were busy looking at that girl. _**"She's sexy, isn't she?"**_

_**"Sexy? More like supermegafoxyawesomehot."**_ I answered, still admiring that girl.

_**"Hell yeah."**_ Joey answered and Meredith laughed.

_**"Okay guys, I'll tell her that you're here; please look up; her eyes aren't on her ass."**_ Meredith said mockingly, now walking to her.

_**"Darren, that girl is mine."**_ Joey whispered.

_**"I don't know, man... She's hot..."**_ I whispered back.

_**"You have the stupid of Kelly, so stay away."**_ Joey whispered again and I punched him softly.

_**"Screw Kelly, I want this girl."**_ I laughed in a whisper, jokingly. As hot as this girl was, she was for Joey and I was aware of it.

_**"Hey, my friends are already here."**_ Meredith said, touching her shoulder.

The girl looked at Meredith but I couldn't see her face. I saw how she took off the earphones and left them on a nightstand; still I couldn't see her face, I only could see her ass moving from one place to another. Shit, I needed to stop looking at her butt, I seemed a depraved; but oh damn, it was hard, her butt was very striking. I finally looked up because I didn't want this girl to catch me looking at her ass. I looked at Joey who was still looking at her butt and I nudged him, so he looked up. Well, now I was going to see if the girl only had a hot body or if she also had a pretty face. The girl finally turned around slowly and as soon as I saw her, I froze. Freckles was standing right in front of me, smiling cheerfully.


	32. The reunion

A/N: Hello guys! How are you doing today? I'm fine, really tired because I've had a strenuous week, with exams and all that shit; but fortunately everything went good, really good. But I'm exhausted. Hence the reason why I think I won't talk too much today, and why I updated earlier than usual. I want to clear something, because apparently it wasn't so clear the way I wrote the last chapter, so some of you didn't get it; my fault. So, here we are, at University of Michigan and Darren and Freckles met again, after a whole year they haven't talked nor seen each other because of Jim's fault since that day after the prom. That's a general summary. Now it's time to see what's gonna happen to them and how they're gonna react to this surprise. I think that's all; if you don't understand something, just let me know and I'll explain; sorry for any misunderstanding! Now, I'll start answering your reviews!

alicegursk: My wife is not only a zombie, she's a swearing zombie! Just when I thought it couldn't get better! Yeah, fuck Jim! That asshole deserves the worst! I hate him too. And I agree with your comment that this world is too hard for them that it's very unfair! But things always happen for a reason, I think! Will Joey like her? Maybe, maybe not. That's a mystery that you'll find out sooner or later! But things are complicated. And Darren and Freckles! Ah! Let's see what will happen now! Your feelings always amaze me, I'm still trying to find out what kind of feeling 'AUSJDJKCKDKDKSKDKKVK' is! Just kidding! I just love your messed feelings!

nicole: Yes, it was Jim! Have you wondered why it was Jim and not Karen? Hmm, I won't say anything! Yes, and of course it wasn't Darren; I can be cruel, but not so cruel! I wouldn't have forgiven myself if I dared to write that Darren wanted to do it! Joey and Darren; well, I think it's interesting what's going to happen to them. Darren and Freckles' love story is kind of dramatic and unstable, full of difficulties, isn't it? But I do believe in good things! Come on, come back from Pigfarts! Have you seen Rumbleroar?

vicky: Starkid! Love them too, but I gotta admit that is hard to write them. I could never write the awesomeness that they are! Yes, that's exactly what happened! I could never write that Darren wanted to leave Freckles on purpose; I'm a bitch, but not so bitch! haha. And yes, he spent ten months looking for her and therefore he may still love her. The point here is Freckles; what will she do, eh? She has a different appearance, she's at University of Michigan; is she different? And then there's the fact that they haven't seen each other for a whole year.

Guest 1: So we're two crazy brains! I do think it's more interesting when you have a crazy brain; normal things tend to be boring, right? Of course! Darren is not an asshole! Poor Darren, he's cute! I'm not so cruel to write something so terrible about Darren; but I'm still cruel because I make you believe that it's like that! Oh yeah! Team StarKid forever! I love them! Though it's hard to write them because I just can't; they're too awesome and I cannot be like them! Oh, oh, Joey! There's gonna be an interesting thing with Joey, Darren and Freckles! I won't spoil it anyway! You love The Beatles! So maybe you'll like this chapter! 'So Voldys out bitches' I loved that!

Vcriss: You could wait a week! Here it is the new chapter! Things will be different now, I think! After a year they finally see each other! I'll just let you read it!

Mockingjay-Potterhead-9: It's okay that you forgot, don't worry about that! I do have the power to make you speechless and that's a good power! Yes! I have a power! I needed to write about StarKid! Even if it's hard because they have that thing that only a StarKid member can have, that little thing called awesomeness! I know, a year is a really long time and everything is different; and I do have a plan for them! Muahaha! I think the way they will react is weird, but I'll let you opine about it. And Joey-Darren-Freckles, what can I say? Things will happen, that's all that I'm gonna say!

Guest 2: Yes, I think Darren really enjoys being at college; he's studying what he loves, he met awesome people (hey, StarKid!) and his life is different; yet, there was this thing missing that is Freckles. But now she's there too! I think you'll be surprised by the way Freckles is gonna act with Darren. And you said it, Freckles is the best actress, she even made Darren think she was W! And you're right about that; it was tough for Freckles all that happened and being so skinny now could be one of the consequences of being so sad for what happened! And about Jim and Karen... Well, yes, there's something else behind all of this, but you won't know what it is for a long time! Now it's time to be focused on Darren, Freckles and their encounter!

Kaylacriss332: I can suck, yes! Okay, please don't mind what I recently wrote. Of course it was Freckles! Who else could be? But it's funny how Darren was so clueless about that. My answer was pretty confusing, yes, I know! I tend to write that kind of weird things sometimes! It was like a riddle! I really need to try to stop answering in weird ways, people sometimes don't understand me, even my closest friends here cannot understand me sometimes. I just wrote chapters with a lot of HP references! Thank you for saying that I write StarKid well! It's really hard because I'm not even close to be as awesome as them, even if I love them!

SamCollinsHolmes: You stuck with that name and I love it, Gab! Joey fucking Richter, all the way! I had to write about Joey because, it's Joey! And he's awesome. Yes, I also wanted to write about StarKid! Even if I cannot write them so well because they're totally awesome and I am not! But StarKid anyway. I knew you were going to love the part when Joe Walker appeared! I'm excited because you're excited because of the excitement of having StarKids! Yes, I like the new appearance of Freckles and I do agree with you that it was time for her to embrace her sexiness! I think you'll like the new Freckles, or not! hahaha omg! I really loved writing that part when Joey and Darren were checking her out, always Ron and Harry! After all, men are like that, always drooling and checking out (not that women aren't like that because if they put a Joe Walker in front of us, I do think we can be even worse). What would Freckles do? It's something interesting. If I were her, I'd slap him too; and slap him so hard, maybe punch him (do not think that I'm an aggressive bitch!). But let's see what Freckles does. I know the story of Joey at the beginning it's sad! And Kelly, that bitch! I know, I know. And yes, it's sad that she was Darren's first; but I tried to make it realistic: men are not like women when it comes to sex; they only want sex (sometimes). But I do have something interesting coming for that based on some things that a male friend told me; only that you'll have to wait for it. Why do you think that you know who Joey's hook up was? Ah! Maybe you know, maybe not. Again, nothing will be revealed so soon. If a zombie apocalypse appears, I don't wanna die! I don't wanna be part of The Walking Dead! I haven't seen the picture you sent me! I had a really stupid busy week because of stupid hard exams and I couldn't be on Twitter! I'll do it, tho, my Sherlock! :)

SkittlesPanda: I have you on Twitter now! Yay! Maybe we'll be able to talk more whenever I have free time to be there and tweet! I love to get to know my readers, so beware because I could be a pain in the ass! Maybe you'll regret to have found me! So the college Freckles sounds like you? That's interesting! Should I assume that you love colorful things and you have short hair? If you love colorful things, I may or may not give you a virtual Scarfy! (The Scarfy was my inspiration to write about the colorful Freckles, lol, I'm weird!)

JustCallMeNicola: Yes, you had to wait! But you could make it! Now you finally can read this new chapter! Are you excited to know how Darren and Freckles will react? Finally they saw each other!

caarolineboeira1: You really sounded like very confused! Maybe your confusion will disappear with the next chapter. Well, maybe not with this one, but in the other chapters! You'll understand more things, I think. Yes, Jim was the asshole and eventually you'll know why he has done it; but you'll have to be patient. Yes, Freckles has changed and she looks completely different, and again, you'll find out which the reasons are, but not in this chapter. And Kelly; I'll make you hate her even more with time, just as much as you hated Mandy. And this second part is way more different than the first one! The topics are different, so I really hope you can still like this story anyway!

MeMi83: Yes, please! Keep doing the fairy claps, even in the times I don't deserve that, just pretend the fairy claps! I'd really like to feel like Disney! Well, I wrote already several chapters of this second part and I must admit that there aren't so many cliffhangers, but the twists remain! So I hope I can keep you intrigued and interested on the story! Thank you a lot for saying that this is a brilliant story! I'm not sure if it's so like that, but it's really nice to hear that and it makes me feel like more encouraged to keep writing! Thank you very much! I needed to write about lines that StarKid said in different shows! I always wanted to do that and college was like the perfect excuse!

wujoka: First off, I loved your expression 'oh my fadizzle!'. I didn't know that you loved me, but now I know and I love that! I must admit that as soon as I read your review I totally searched 'Darren Criss palm reading' on YouTube! I was very intrigued! That was so funny! Omg! 'He only sees sex'. You're right! That fits with what I wrote! Maybe the professor communicated with me telepathically and forced me to write something about it! Anyway, the professor said that he only sees sex until he finds a love. And I screamed because... because dammit! I had it planned too! What if the professor took over my body and wrote for me? This is super weird and thank you very much for letting me know about the existence of that video!

amritsoomal: Have you started reading this last week and you're already in this last chapter! That's impressive and I'm so happy that you've done it! So, well, well, first off I should welcome you! I really hope you can enjoy this dramatic story and I really hope you can keep reading it! You'll always read a new chapter every Saturday and if I get to have a fit of madness, I could post a chapter before Saturday. Darren Criss is supermegafoxyawesomehot; I second this, always! I love that hobbit!

Alright guys, that was all! Now I'll let you read this new chapter in which Darren and Freckles will finally interact after a damn whole year! Are you intrigued to know what's going to happen? You only have to read this new chapter of Teenage Dream! Until next week, guys! Have a totally awesome week full of RedVines, rainbows, and warm fuzzies!

* * *

**Teenage Dream – Chapter 32 – The reunion.**

* * *

I was looking at Freckles in shock. No, no, no; she couldn't be there, she was not real, I was just imagining this. Which were the chances that she was at University of Michigan? Which were the chances that she was Meredith's roommate? But that girl was Freckles; her eyes were the same, her smile was the same, her face was the same; the cute freckles. But she looked completely different at the same time; she was way too skinnier, her long hair was now short hair, the clothes she was wearing weren't the clothes she used to wear. She looked flawless, though; brighter and sexier than ever. I couldn't move and I couldn't say anything at all because I was in shock, my body was literally shaking, my heart was beating really fast and the pressure on my chest was painful, I could barely breathe. She was there. I was feeling bad, I was feeling dizzy and my head was about to explode. I couldn't help it but feeling glad to have seen her again but also feeling really sad because I remembered why I haven't seen her before, and feeling nervous because I didn't know what was going to happen now. I had no idea how she would react now, I had no idea what her feelings for me were, I had no idea if she could remember me, I even had no idea if she expected to see me or to talk to me. Fuck, I needed to stop trembling. Yeah, she turned around with that cheerful smile, but she first saw Joey and then her gaze drifted to me and her smile faded. She looked at me frowning and kind of disturbed. Man, those were the most painful and long seconds of my entire life. If I was nervous before, now I was freaking out. I didn't know what to do and I couldn't do anything because I couldn't think. She couldn't be Freckles.

_**"Darren?"**_ She asked gingerly, still looking at me straight in the eye, frowning and disturbed.

Oh holy shit! I heard her sweet voice again and it wasn't in a video, it was here, in real life, in this place, right in front of me. I heard her voice again, something that I was yearning for so long. And she said my name. This seemed to be very surreal and I started feeling very thrilled. I cleared my throat because I already had that lump in throat.

_**"Freckles."**_ I said softly with choked voice, looking at her straight in the eye; trying not to shed any single tear of thrill.

_**"Oh my god."**_ She exclaimed in a whisper, stunned, walking directly to me.

As she was coming closer, I started feeling more and more nervous and my heart started beating faster and faster. What I wasn't expecting was what Freckles did next. She started walking to me slowly and when she was closer, she walked faster as almost running to pull me into a hug. That hug took me by surprise, so I didn't hug her back immediately. But when I felt her arms around my neck, her chin on my shoulder and the warmth of her body again; I felt even more thrilled and my body started trembling fiercely for the strong emotion. I hugged her back, placing my hands on her waist and pulling her a bit closer to hug her tighter; I buried my face on her shoulder and I smelled her enthralling perfume again. Now that I was hugging her, as I've always wanted to do, I didn't want to let her go; I wanted to stay like this with her forever; I wanted to get back all the lost time when we were apart; crap, I missed her like hell. She was back, finally I found her; she was with me and she was hugging me like old times when we were together and we were teenagers in love. I didn't know how long the intense hug lasted, because my perceptions were deceptive; for me it lasted like an eternity. When we broke the hug I could look into her big and beautiful eyes again; those bright eyes that I loved. She also looked into my eyes. I tried to smile at her, but I couldn't because I was still in shock and dizzy and this all seemed to be a dream, something unreal. I wanted to say that I was sorry, that I missed her, that I still loved her with all my being despite that we were apart for a bit more than a year. I wanted to tell her that I never stopped searching her, that I never stopped loving her, that I could never take her off my mind, that she was still the one for me; that during all the year, there was not even a single day in which I haven't thought about her. But nothing came out from my mouth. I wanted to hold her hand, I wanted to kiss her; but I did nothing because I just couldn't. So she stepped back and I regretted of not having done anything at all.

_**"Do you guys know each other?"**_ Joey asked frowning and curious, also confused.

I totally forgot that Meredith and Joey were there. Anyway, I didn't answer, I just remained looking at Freckles in silence in a way as if it was going to be the last time that I was going to see her. Freckles looked at Meredith and smiled slightly. Her smile was just as beautiful.

_**"Yeah..."**_ She answered with an uncomfortable smile. And I heard her voice again and I couldn't stop looking at her. _**"We..."**_ She said awkwardly, looking down. I didn't say anything because I couldn't. Though, I was intrigued to know which her answer would be. _**"We went to the same high school."**_

_**"Really? What a coincidence!"**_ Meredith exclaimed amazed, with eyes wide open and a huge smile, looking at Freckles and at me. I was looking at Freckles who didn't say anything about us, who didn't give them any description of our relationship in high school.

_**"You never mentioned her, Darren. You always talked about Jen, but never about her."**_ Joey said still confused, looking at me.

But I didn't look at him and I didn't answer him; I remained looking at Freckles who looked at me furtively and then looked down frowning before looking at Joey with a slight smile.

_**"I guess it's because we weren't so close."**_ She answered shrugging and Joey looked at her even more confused. I looked at her kind of hurt. Was that really her answer?

_**"But that hug... Man, it was like you were really close."**_ Joey said and I wanted him to shut up. I knew that Freckles was uncomfortable because she was playing with her fingers. She didn't change it.

_**"Oh well, it was because it's always nice to meet again at college an old guy or girl of your high school. Right?"**_ Freckles asked looking at me now with a smile. But I didn't smile and I didn't answer, so she looked down uncomfortable. I needed to say something.

_**"Yeah, right."**_ I answered hoarsely and curtly. She looked at me and forced a smile.

_**"Oh, let me introduce myself."**_ Freckles said now smiling brightly, looking at Joey. _**"I'm..."**_

_**"Freckles? Yeah, Darren said it."**_ Joey said laughing and Freckles chuckled nervously.

_**"Yeah, it's been a while since I wasn't called like that but... I guess... I guess you can call me like that."**_ She said a bit uncomfortable.

_**"Why Freckles, anyway?"**_ Joey asked amused.

_**"Well..."**_ Freckles started saying.

_**"Because of the cute freckles on her face."**_ I answered in a whisper, with chocked voice; looking deeply into Freckles' eyes. Everybody listened to me and Meredith and Joey chuckled amused and Freckles looked at me furtively to then look down.

_**"Yeah, that's right. I bet that Darren gave you that nickname. He always makes up the quirkiest nicknames for people."**_ Meredith said still laughing.

_**"Yeah... Yeah, he gave me that nickname."**_ She answered with a forced smile.

_**"And what kind of relationship did you have, guys?"**_ Meredith asked curious and Freckles looked at me furtively again as I was looking at her fixedly, without saying anything at all.

_**"Just... We just shared a class."**_ She answered looking at Meredith and I felt really hurt, this wasn't cool. _**"Spanish."**_ She said and Meredith and Joey nodded. _**"Right, Darren?"**_

_**"Yeah..."**_ I answered gloomy still looking into her eyes.

_**"And you are...?"**_ Freckles asked curious, looking at Joey.

So it meant that Meredith didn't tell her our names; so Freckles didn't know I was coming; so when Meredith said that Freckles was excited to meet her friends, she still didn't know that I was one of Meredith's friends. Maybe Freckles didn't want me to be there; maybe she didn't want to see me. I had no idea what she could be thinking.

_**"Sorry, I'm Joey. Darren's best buddy, right?"**_ Joey said looking at me.

_**"That's right."**_ I answered nodding, still gloomy.

_**"Oh, it's nice to meet you, Joey."**_ She answered smiling cheerfully and she walked to him to hug him.

I looked at them hugging, astonished and feeling jealous. Why was Freckles hugging Joey? And then I remembered that Joey was there because he wanted to meet Meredith's roommate because he thought that this girl could be someone with whom he could finally set down. And Joey liked her the first time he saw her; he really liked her and it didn't happen in a long time. But as much as I wanted Joey to be with a girl; he couldn't be with Freckles. No way. And now Joey was hugging her back with a surprised but joyful face. No, it couldn't happen. Meredith, in the meantime, walked to me.

_**"She hugs everybody. It's her way to greet people. I was kind of shocked when she hugged me the first time we met. That is why I thought she was weird; but she's a nice girl. Was she nice in high school?"**_ Meredith whispered in my ear.

_**"Yeah, she was the nicest girl."**_ I whispered, still looking a Freckles and Joey hugging. So Freckles hasn't hugged me because it was me. She only hugged me because she hugged everybody.

_**"I think that she and Joey will make an adorable couple. We need to pair them, Dare." **_Meredith whispered and I felt really bad.

_**"Yeah..."**_ I answered curtly, still looking at them. Then finally I looked at Meredith. _**"Can I use the bathroom?" **_

_**"Yes, sure."**_ Meredith asked with a slight smile, also looking at Joey and Freckles.

I went away from there as fast as I could to the bathroom and once there, I locked the door and I let myself to drop on the floor. I needed to be away because I couldn't hold back the tears any longer. I always wanted to see Freckles again but not this way. I thought that the day I could get to see her I was going to feel excited and happy. And yeah, I was happy to see her again; hell yeah I was happy; but at the same time I couldn't avoid feeling this pressure on my chest because she and I weren't the same as always, our relationship wasn't as same as always. I never thought before that seeing her again was going to be tough; because it was tough to have her but to have her so distant, pretending that we were nothing. Yeah, I could understand her reasons, because surely she was still thinking that I left her because she didn't want to have sex with me that damn night; yeah, considering this, she acted super nice because she could have ignored me or insult me; but she didn't. I planned what to tell her if I ever met her again; but now that it happened, that plan vanished. And I was feeling weird because for the first time I didn't know how to act with her. I didn't know if I should go or stay, if I should talk to her or not, if I should or should not do all the things I wanted to do such as hug her, hold her hand, kiss her. And there was another complication that was Joey. I insisted him that he should find someone; hell yeah, I wanted that but not with Freckles. And he seemed to like her; no, he indeed liked her and I was sure that he was going to love her personality because it was impossible not to love Freckles. What if Freckles also liked him? What if Joey starts dating Freckles? No, I needed to tell Joey who Freckles was and how important she was for me; I needed to explain him, finally, my past that I was avoiding to explain. He was going to understand me, he was going to forget his desire to have a date with Freckles, he was going to help me to get her back. But what if not? I needed to try it.

_**"Oh man."**_ I exclaimed in a whisper, propping my forehead up with my hand, troubled. _**"What am I doing?"**_ I said shaking my head slowly, still propping my forehead up with my hand.

When I realized where I was, what I was thinking and how I were feeling; everything seemed ridiculous and stupid. Freckles was back after a damn long year I haven't seen her and I was alone in the bathroom instead being with her and exploit my time with her. I was thinking and worrying about things that didn't happen yet instead doing something for getting her back. I was feeling sad instead feeling happy for finding her. I couldn't stop thinking how much I missed seeing her eyes, her smile, hearing her voice and laughter, smelling her perfume; instead being with her to feel it all in person now that I had the chance. The fuck was wrong with me? Damn! Freckles was here and that was super weird and extraordinary! I needed to be with her. I stood up and washed my face to try to dissimulate that I've been crying before walking out the bathroom.

_**"Hey Darren! Come and join us!" **_Meredith yelled as soon as I left the bathroom.

They were sitting on the floor in a circle with a bottle of Tequila on the center. Oh well, I presaged something bad, so I looked at them suspiciously. I knew what they were going to do, but I played fool.

_**"What are you guys doing?"**_ I asked suspiciously.

_**"We're gonna play a game." **_Freckles answered with an amused smile.

_**"What kind of game?"**_ I asked looking at the bottle of Tequila.

_**"A drinking game, duh."**_ Joey answered.

_**"Come on, Darren, sit here."**_ Meredith said patting a place that apparently they reserved for me; in between her and Freckles.

_**"I'm not sure if I wanna play this game..." **_I said unsure and Joey looked at me like saying 'what the fuck?' _**"Tomorrow morning I have to go to class."**_

_**"We all have to. It's just a simple game, Darren. Do not be a party pooper right now."**_ Joey complained.

_**"Oh man, I know you pretty well and I know that the bottle of the center is not precisely water."**_ I said raising an eyebrow.

_**"Oh c'mon! What if it's not water? Since when alcohol disgusts you?"**_ Joey asked incredulous.

_**"It's not that!"**_ I defended myself, frowning. _**"It's just... Not today. I don't wanna get drunk and be so drunk that I can't even walk to my room, and to then have a hangover next day and miss my class because I fell asleep in the middle of the campus."**_ I said serious and everybody laughed; even Freckles laughed. Oh yeah, that amazing laughter.

_**"You're gonna win an award for being the king of overreactions, Darren."**_ Freckles said still laughing and Joey and Meredith laughed even louder when they heard that. I looked at Freckles kind of amused and curious.

_**"Oh, are you making fun of me?"**_ I asked looking at her amused, raising an eyebrow as she looked at me with an innocent smile.

_**"No! How would you think that? I'm not making fun of you; I'm having fun with you."**_ She answered while chuckling.

_**"Oh yeah, I get it. Cool."**_ I answered looking at her fixedly while smiling amused.

_**"So? What do you say? Are you playing?"**_ Meredith asked.

_**"Sorry, but no. I really have..." **_

_**"You really have to go to class and you don't wanna get drunk to the point you won't be able to walk to your room and you'll fall asleep in the middle of the campus and you'll miss your class. Yeah, we all already know that."**_ Meredith said rolling her eyes. _**"Listen, if that is what worries you and that is what prevents you from playing, you and Joey can stay here this night so you won't have to walk to your room. And I can wake you up tomorrow morning, so you won't miss your cherished and sacred class." **_

_**"Yeah sure, you'll wake me up..."**_ I said sarcastically nodding.

_**"Why don't you trust me?"**_ Meredith asked pretending to be offended.

_**"Oh, let me think... Maybe because you don't have class in the morning and your bed is your lover and you won't let it go for anything in the world?"**_ I asked looking at her fixedly.

_**"Oh crap... Maybe you're right."**_ Meredith said shaking her head.

_**"Oh well, I could wake you, Darren. Just play."**_ Joey said.

_**"You don't have class in the morning either. And you and Meredith are equal." **_I said looking fixedly at him.

_**"Yeah, yeah..."**_ He huffed.

_**"I do have classes in the morning. If you want I could wake you." **_Freckles suddenly said shrugging and I quickly looked at her. Man, every time she talked to me my heart skipped a beat.

_**"Will you?"**_ I asked looking intently at her, raising my eyebrows in surprise.

_**"Yeah, why not?"**_ She replied shrugging again. _**"My first class is at 8am."**_

_**"Yeah, mine too."**_ I said still looking at her.

_**"That's so cool! Then you don't have excuses, Darren. You could sleep with her in her bed, so when she wakes up, she wakes you..."**_ Meredith started saying but when she was saying that, Freckles looked down apparently feeling uncomfortable, so I interrupted her.

_**"Meredith, I don't think that's a good idea."**_ I said roundly and she looked at me frowning. _**"If I stay here, maybe the best if I sleep with Joey and you sleep with Freckles... I don't know." **_

_**"But... Neither Joey nor I have classes in the morning... And I thought that Freckles wouldn't mind to sleep with you since you know each other from high school."**_ Meredith said confused.

_**"Have you asked her if she wouldn't mind?"**_ I asked looking serious at Meredith.

_**"No, I..."**_ Meredith started answering nervously. Apparently I made her feel uncomfortable. Then she looked at Freckles. _**"Would you mind to sleep with him?"**_ She asked Freckles.

_**"Umm... well... No."**_ Freckles answered in a whisper, looking down. Then she cleared her throat and spoke louder. _**"No, of course not." **_

_**"Are you sure?"**_ I asked gingerly, looking pointedly at her. Then she looked up at me with a nice smile.

_**"Yes, sure." **_She replied and I just stared at her amazed.

_**"Cool! Now get your ass over here and let's play!"**_ Meredith exclaimed excited.

I walked slowly to sit right in between Meredith and Joey. They started explaining how the game was, but I wasn't listening. I was just thinking how weird the idea of sleeping with Freckles again would be. I never could control my impulses whenever I was near her, so I wasn't sure how I was going to react while sleeping in the same bed than her, and more considering how much I missed her and all the feelings I had for her. I didn't know if I was going to be able to control my urge to snuggle up to her and kiss her. And her bed was a twin size bed; so we were going to be really close. Anyway, the idea of sleeping with her again was driving me crazy; I wanted to feel her closer again, even if I couldn't do anything; not until I could get to talk to her about what happened to us in the past.

_**"So Darren, did you get how the game is?"**_ Joey asked.

_**"What? Oh no, you talked really fast and I got lost."**_ I lied and everybody looked at me frowning. Why?

_**"Darren, Joey spoke really slowly."**_ Meredith finally said. Oh well, I was screwed.

_**"Doesn't matter; I'll explain again."**_ Joey said and I thanked him inside. _**"We're gonna put these questions and answers cards in the center. The game begins by choosing one person as a chaser and another as the runner. The chaser picks a question from the deck and reads it aloud. The runner decides whether to play or pass. If the runner passes or gets answers wrong then he or she must drink. If the runner answers the question correctly then the chaser has to drink. Each turn is for only one question, and the runner and chaser position each rotates one person clockwise each turn; so everyone gets to play."**_

_**"Alright, yes, get it."**_ I said nodding. _**"What kind of questions are?"**_

_**"Just general questions about whatever." **_Joey asked taking one of the cards. _**"Alright, I'll be the first chaser and Meredith will be the first runner. So, Mere, if you pass or get answer wrong, you have to drink; if not, I drink. Then you're gonna be the next chaser and Darren will be your runner."**_ He explained again just if there was any doubt, but everybody nodded. _**"Okay... The question is: Speedy Gonzales frustrates who in the cartoon Moby Duck?" **_

_**"Hey, that's an easy one!"**_ I exclaimed amused while Meredith smiled widely.

_**"Daffy Duck!"**_ She answered quickly.

_**"Damn you, Meredith!"**_ Joey complained but amused as he took a long sip of Tequila. _**"Oh shit, this burns!"**_ He exclaimed while placing both of his hands on his throat. "_**Alright, your turn, Mere."**_

_**"Yay!"**_ She exclaimed excited while grabbing one of the cards. _**"Are you ready, Darren?"**_ She asked amused and I nodded energetically, anxious to hear the question. _**"Who was Nigeria's first President and has been described as the father of modern Nigeria?"**_

_**"What the fuck?"**_ I asked looking at Meredith horrified, frowning. _**"Hey, no! No, no, no; hold on!"**_ I exclaimed loudly completely bewildered. _**"That's not fair, man! Why the hell did she have to answer that easy question and I have to answer this shit? Who knows that answer? Who?"**_ I asked looking at them and they only were laughing.

_**"Sorry Darren, answer or drink!"**_ Meredith laughed making fun of me.

_**"You did this on purpose, I'm sure! You cheated! You cheated!"**_ I complained pointing at them.

_**"We cheated my ass, answer, Darren!"**_ Joey said still laughing.

_**"Yeah, yeah, the answer is the president go to hell you all."**_ I said kind of upset, already grabbing the bottle to take a sip. _**"I want to know the answer first."**_

_**"It's Nnamdi Azikiwe."**_ Meredith replied with difficulties in pronouncing it.

_**"What? Oh, suck my balls! I can't even pronounce it! Who can, huh? Who? That's shit, suck my balls!"**_ I exclaimed loudly, in disbelief as everybody laughed even louder.

_**"Drink, drink, drink!"**_ Joey started cheering as Meredith and Freckles joined him in between giggles. I took a sip of Tequila and it literally burnt my throat. Oh whoa! That was strong, dammit.

_**"Stupid game, this is a stupid game!"**_ I exclaimed in between coughs because my throat was still burning. Anyway, I grabbed a card and I read it. When I finished reading it, I smiled mischievously and then I looked at Freckles. _**"Oh well, well, I think you'll be taking a sip of Tequila too."**_ I said mischievously as Freckles smiled amused and looked at me intrigued as if she was eager to hear the question. Oh man, she was adorable. _**"Who wrote Breakfast At Tiffany's?"**_

_**"Truman Capote!"**_ She answered loudly and excited, really fast, and my smile vanished.

_**"How the hell did you know that?"**_ I asked in disbelief with eyes wide open.

_**"I read that book and I like reading, so I know a lot about that stuff."**_ She answered with a slight and amused smile while shrugging as I was still looking at her in disbelief.

_**"Yeah, that was a stupid question; you were always good at English and literature. I'd never forget that essay you helped me to write; I've never got a better score than that time."**_ I said nodding and she giggled softly.

_**"Yes, I remember. You didn't even know who Jules Verne was."**_ She said still giggling.

_**"I'm still not sure who that man is, but whatever."**_ I answered frowning.

_**"I can't believe you still don't know who he is. You should read one of his books considering how much you love the science fiction genre. I have a book by him here, Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea; I can lend you it."**_ She said kindly, smiling. I looked at her dumbfounded, just too distracted seeing her sweet smile to listen. We were having an actual conversation and not an uncomfortable one; this was good, so good.

_**"Yeah, maybe I could read it."**_ I answered smiling back at her.

_**"Alright, alright, you two! Stop talking and Darren, take a damn sip of that Tequila!"**_ Joey exclaimed loudly and then I remembered that we were playing this game. Damn, I didn't want to drink again that shit.

_**"Fine, fine!"**_ I answered resigned, taking another sip and feeling how my throat was burning again and I coughed because I almost choked with it. _**"Alright..."**_ I said shrilly because my throat was still burning. _**"Your turn, Freckles."**_

_**"Okay!"**_ She said excited, taking one of the cards before looking at Joey. _**"How far can a dog run into the forest?" **_

_**"What is that question, man? How am I supposed to know that?"**_ Joey asked confused, frowning, just as disturbed as I was minutes ago.

_**"Ha! Take that, Richter!"**_ I mocked him.

_**"Shut up, Criss!"**_ He answered kind of annoyed.

_**"Hurry up, Joey!" **_Freckles said giggling.

_**"Come on, man! My question was harder than that!"**_ I laughed, totally making fun of him even though I didn't know the answer either.

_**"Do you know the answer?"**_ He asked looking at me and I shrugged with an amused smile. _**"I don't know, it depends... Is the forest a big forest or not?"**_

_**"Just a forest, unspecified. Answer, tell me your answer!"**_ Freckles hurried Joey, really amused and entertained.

_**"I have no idea, man. Er... 8 miles?"**_ He answered with a question and everybody looked at him stunned and then we laughed.

_**"8 miles, really Joey? What is that? A super dog?"**_ Meredith said laughing.

_**"I don't know! I can't think about an answer!"**_ He defended himself, frowning. _**"Let me guess... I have to drink, right?"**_

_**"Yep."**_ Freckles replied smiling really amused and nodding energetically. _**"The correct answer is halfway; because after that it will be running out of the forest."**_

_**"What? No! No way! It was a trick question!"**_ He complained agape, grabbing the bottle of Tequila and taking a sip. _**"Damn, I feel I'm gonna get drunk any soon."**_ He said shrilly, now taking a card. _**"Okay Mere, better if you answer wrong this time. The question is: In which city did Steve McQueen take part in the car chase in Bullitt?"**_ He asked.

_**"Oh that is a really easy one!"**_ Freckles exclaimed loudly, smiling joyfully.

_**"Yeah, hell, it is!"**_ I agreed, exchanging a look with Freckles and now chuckling along with her.

_**"I don't know... How do you know that, eh? Where was it?"**_ Meredith asked looking at me and Freckles.

_**"You're not allowed to ask them anything! And you can't answer; otherwise you'll have to drink too!" **_Joey warned looking at us. _**"Answer, Stepien!"**_

_**"No, no. I pass."**_ She answered shaking her head.

_**"No way that you passed!"**_ I exclaimed looking at her with eyes wide open and then I looked at Freckles.

_**"Darren, Freckles; do the honors of answering the question."**_ Joey said smiling mischievously.

_**"San Francisco!"**_ Freckles and I answered loudly at the same time, very cheerfully as Meredith grabbed the bottle of Tequila to take a sip frowning.

_**"Okay, okay. Darren, the question is: On which Rubber Soul track did George Harrison play sitar?"**_ Meredith asked and I looked at her smiling widely. I knew the answer.

_**"I'm not sure..."**_ I started saying, playing dumb as Meredith smiled because she was thinking she wouldn't have to drink. _**"Of course I'm kidding!" **_I exclaimed as Meredith's smile disappeared. _**"Norwegian Wood is the correct answer, 100% sure!" **_

_**"Screw you, Darren!"**_ Meredith exclaimed upset as she took another sip of Tequila.

_**"What? Of course I'd know the answer, I totally love The Beatles; I'm kind of obsessed with them."**_ I answered chuckling and shrugging.

_**"Are you? I love them too! I didn't know you loved The Beatles!"**_ Freckles exclaimed excited next to me and I turned my face to look at her flabbergasted. _**"I love all their songs that is too hard for me to choose one! In my Life is amazing!" **_

_**"There are places I'll remember all my life though some have changed, some forever not for better..."**_ I started singing really happy as she was smiling brightly.

_**"Some have gone and some remain; all these places have their moments with lovers and friends I still can recall."**_ She kept singing and now I looked at her stunned and agape.

_**"Oh jeez! Your singing has improved like a lot!" **_I exclaimed admiringly. Yeah, man, that was true. She always had a sweet singing voice but she was always out of tune; now that has changed and she was a good singer.

_**"Oh well, I've been practicing. You know, someone once said that music can express what cannot be expressed with words; so I had to make something to get it right."**_ She said shrugging, still smiling brightly. Man, she still remembered what I told her once.

_**"You're awesome."**_ I said looking at her enthralled.

_**"Guys..."**_ Meredith said.

_**"Oh yeah, yeah; sorry!"**_ I apologized because again I started talking to Freckles and forgot about the game. I took a card and read it. Oh yeah, this one was super hard! _**"Okay... You haven't taken a sip yet, Freckles. I guess it's time for you to do it..."**_ I said in an intriguing way, looking at her mischievously.

_**"Shoot!"**_ She exclaimed excited.

_**"A princess is as old as the prince will be when the princess is twice the age that the prince was when the princess's age was half the sum of their present ages. What are their ages?"**_ I asked and I saw her disturbed face.

_**"Ouch, that is hard."**_ She said frowning. _**"Just give me a second, I need to think."**_ She said almost in a whisper, very concentrated and thoughtful.

_**"Take all the time you need."**_ I said smiling victoriously because I knew she wouldn't get the answer; it was actually really hard, I had the answer, but I had no fucking idea why that was the answer.

"_**Oh, she's not gonna get it."**_ Meredith said also smiling mischievously.

"_**I got lost with the princess thing. Why it has to be a princess?"**_ Joey asked frowning and confused as Meredith and I laughed while Freckles was still thinking. I knew that Joey was already tipsy.

_**"Er... I think..." **_She said very thoughtful after a while. _**"I think that the princess is 40 and the prince is 30."**_

_**"No fucking way!"**_ I exclaimed really puzzled, looking at her open-mouthed.

_**"What?"**_ She asked suspiciously.

_**"No fucking way! She got it, she fucking got it!"**_ I exclaimed astonished, looking at Meredith and Joey who were now also just as astonished.

_**"Really?"**_ Freckles asked really excited.

_**"Yeah..."**_ I answered bemused as she bounced happily. _**"How did you get that?" **_

_**"Well, it's a bit messy… But using simple algebra... It's just a mathematical calculation."**_ She answered smiling merrily and shrugging.

_**"Oh wow, you're super smart."**_ Joey whispered puzzled.

_**"Hell yeah, she was always the smart one. She's the smartest person I know. Whoa, you're amazing."**_ I exclaimed admiringly.

_**"Thank you."**_ She smiled in a humble way.

_**"Yeah... But you know? It's not fair! Now I have to drink again! Damn."**_ I exclaimed frowning because I didn't want to do it. _**"Why cannot you answer something wrong, baby?"**_ I asked looking at her.

As soon as I asked this I realized the stupid thing I've just done. Fuck, I called her baby. Now Joey and Meredith were looking at me suspiciously and confused and Freckles was looking at me perplexed and then she looked down, uncomfortable. Shit, everything was going so well and I screwed it. I was so used to call her baby whenever I talked to her in my mind when we were apart that I didn't realize that I couldn't call her like that now. Oh, I needed to make up something now; I needed to play fool. I only grabbed the bottle of Tequila and I took a long and deep sip of it and it burned like hell, but it was nothing for what I needed for this awkward moment.

_**"Okay, your turn, Freckles."**_ I said while coughing.

_**"Yes."**_ She said quickly, grabbing one of the cards to read it quickly. _**"Joey; who said: All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl?"**_

_**"The amazing Charles Chaplin, duh!"**_ Joey answered quickly, excited; apparently forgetting the way I called Freckles. _**"Ha! You'll have to drink, girl! Drink, drink, drink!"**_ He cheered excited.

Oh yeah, he was tipsy. Freckles chuckled amused and grabbed the bottle of Tequila to take a really long sip of it; apparently she also needed it. Oh geez, but it was a really long sip and now her cheeks were rosy and she was coughing while rubbing her throat.

_**"Uh-huh! You know how to drink!"**_ Meredith exclaimed looking at Freckles with eyes wide open in surprise.

_**"Oh, boy!"**_ Freckles exclaimed shrilly, frowning and as if she was suffering while still rubbing her throat. _**"This tastes good." **_She laughed, but I noticed a hint of sarcasm and everybody did, so everybody laughed, including me.

_**"Mere, the question is: What percentage of the human body is composed of water?"**_ Joey asked.

_**"66 percent!"**_ She answered quickly and amused and then she shrugged when we looked at her. _**"What? I'm a nerd!" **_She laughed and Joey took a sip of Tequila as Meredith grabbed another card. _**"Oh, this is interesting!" **_She said looking at me and smiling maliciously. _**"Press the right button and I'll come all over your face; I usually get spread over your hairy parts and when you wipe me off, I get white stuff on your towel. What am I?"**_

_**"Oh what the hell is that question, man?" **_I asked incredulous when I heard it as everybody laughed. Meredith and Joey were already tipsy and Freckles was still fine. _**"Man, the fuck..."**_ I exclaimed again because I couldn't believe how wanky and perverted that question was. _**"I can't think about anything but a dick." **_

_**"Oh, you dirty mind! Take that bottle of Tequila because the correct answer is shaving cream!"**_ Meredith exclaimed really loudly, laughing out loud as everybody did.

_**"Suck my balls! Shaving cream? Geez!" **_I laughed, shaking my head, taking a sip of Tequila. _**"My mind is perverted!"**_ I laughed as everybody did while nodding. Man, I was starting to feel hot and a bit dizzy; I knew I was getting tipsy because I've already drank too much Tequila. _**"Alright, Freckles, this is an easy one... Which 60s icon was backed by The Band?"**_ I asked looking at her, but she was looking at me astonished.

_**"Well... I... I don't know."**_ She answered frowning.

_**"You don't know? Really?" **_I asked in disbelief and she shook her head. _**"Oh man, this is for the history! Freckles actually doesn't know something! This is unbelievable!"**_ I exclaimed laughing.

_**"Shut up, Criss!"**_ She said shaking her head and chuckling as she took another sip of Tequila. _**"Damn!"**_

_**"The answer was Bob Dylan!"**_ I said still laughing and more when I saw her face after drinking the Tequila. Man, the Tequila was taking effect on me already.

_**"Oh yeah, I'll remember it. Joey! Oh great, it's easy. What is the song in the beginning of The Lion King?"**_ She asked.

_**"Oh man, not The Lion King again!" **_Joey complained amused and he was looking at me on purpose. _**"I'm not sure if I can get the correct answer, but I'm sure Darren will. Stupid Darren and his alarm of Hakuna Matata!"**_ He made fun of me and I laughed. _**"The answer is The Circle of Life! And I owe it to Darren." **_Joey exclaimed and I laughed again. Damn, I couldn't stop laughing.

_**"Damn you, Joey!"**_ Freckles complained really loudly, grabbing the bottle of Tequila and taking another sip.

_**"Okay, Meredith! Who played Anita in the first Broadway production of West Side Story?" **_He asked.

_**"Chita Rivera! Chita Rivera!"**_ Meredith answered loudly and excited as Joey frowned and took a sip of Tequila. _**"Darren! What is Bugs Bunny's catchphrase?"**_

_**"Oh man!"**_ I said laughing out loud and I cleared my throat to imitate Bugs Bunny's voice. _**"Eh, what's up, Doc?"**_ I said and everybody laughed out loud as Meredith took a sip of Tequila.

_**"Oh my god! That was so funny! That was amazing!"**_ Freckles exclaimed giggling and I looked at her amused. I loved the way she was laughing non stopping. _**"You're such a nerd when it comes to cartoons and Disney!" **_

_**"Hey! You did not just say that!"**_ I exclaimed looking at her raising my eyebrows amused as she was still giggling. _**"I'll take it as a compliment." **_I said smiling widely. _**"Alright, the tremendously easy question for you is: In which movie did Alec Guinness first appear as Ben Obi Wan Kenobi?" **_

_**"What? What the hell is Ben Obi Wan Kenobi? Is that a tongue-twister?"**_ She asked in confusion as I looked at her incredulous.

_**"Oh man! How the hell can't you know the answer? How the hell don't you know who Ben Obi Wan Kenobi is?" **_I asked still incredulous looking at her.

_**"I don't know."**_ She answered frowning and pouting.

_**"Well, the correct answer is..."**_ I said looking at Joey and Meredith who also knew the answer. _**"Star Wars!"**_ Meredith, Joey and I exclaimed loudly at the same time.

_**"Oh dammit! It's not my fault that you all are nerds who watch that stupid movie!"**_ She said laughing as she took a sip of Tequila.

_**"Stupid movie?"**_ I asked in disbelief.

_**"Oh no, you did not just say that!"**_ Joey exclaimed in disbelief looking at Freckles.

_**"Haven't you watched it?"**_ Meredith asked also looking at Freckles in disbelief as she shook her head.

_**"Oh bab... Freckles!"**_ I exclaimed and corrected myself in time to not say baby again. _**"You really need to watch that movie! Is one of the best movies of all the times! Star Wars is like... Is like... I don't know what life would be without Star Wars, man!" **_I exclaimed loudly in an exaggerated way as Joey and Meredith nodded in agreement.

_**"Whatever!"**_ She exclaimed, now feeling a bit ashamed. Her cheeks were already rosy and she looked adorable.

_**"Let's make a deal. You lend me that book of Jules Verenti or whatever his name is and I'll read it, if you only accept my invitation to watch Star Wars tomorrow night."**_ I proposed looking fixedly at her. Of course I had to take advantage all the times I had to be as near as her as much as I could now she was here again. And this was a great excuse.

_**"Okay, deal, deal."**_ She answered rolling her eyes but with an amused smile and when I heard her response, my heart skipped a beat of happiness. Yay! I got it! _**"Joey! Question for you is: What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' and if you don't get it, you have to use your hand?"**_ She asked smiling and looking at him mischievously; so mischievously that it was sensual.

Oh fuck, that look and smile was so hot! If she looked at me that way I wouldn't be able to control my urge to kiss her as passionately as never before. Oh man, she really knew how to be sexy; I could totally imagine her looking at me that way in an intimate moment... Oh shit, I needed to stop thinking about that because her sexiness and the alcohol weren't helping at all to remain controlling the typical impulses of a man. I knew that Joey was thinking the same as me, because he was looking at Freckles' lips open-mouthed. He was surely also thinking that Freckles' lips were addictive and I knew it more than him, because I kissed them in the past. Damn, Joey, stop staring at her that way and answer the damn question!

_**"Do you need me to repeat you the question?"**_ Freckles asked looking at Joey amused and still mischievously and damn, it sounded very flirty.

Could she be flirting with Joey? No man, that wasn't possible; not while I was also there and considering that we were... Actually we were nothing now, so she could do whatever she wanted. No, I didn't want to think about it.

_**"Yeah, please."**_ Joey answered still looking at her lips, like enthralled.

_**"What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' and if you don't get it, you have to use your hand?" **_She repeated with the same mischievous smile.

_**"You won't cheat me as Meredith has done with Darren! The answer surely isn't fuck!"**_ Joey finally answered. _**"Damn... I can't think about something else. Just gimme a minute!"**_ Joey begged and Freckles laughed. _**"It's a fork! A damn fork!"**_ He replied after a while.

_**"Hell yeah!"**_ Freckles exclaimed giggling and then she looked at me mischievously. Oh no shit, why the hell did she have to look at me that way? Now it was me the one who was looking at her lips like a fool. _**"I think you're the only one who has a dirty mind, Darren."**_ She said almost sensually.

_**"Yeah..."**_ I answered like a jerk, still looking at her lips. _**"Man, you shouldn't be allowed to smile and look like that, you can kill people..."**_ I said and I didn't realize I said it loud. Damn the alcohol!

_**"What?"**_ She laughed as she took a sip of Tequila, looking at me fixedly. But I knew she got what I tried to say, because she was still looking at me in that sensual way. _**"This Tequila really tastes so good."**_ She said, now leaving the bottle and licking slowly her lips, still looking at me.

_**"Oh fuck, stop doing that."**_ I said looking fixedly at her lips, open-mouthed. Man, that was really hot and I knew I should stop looking at her that way, but I couldn't.

_**"Stop doing what?"**_ She asked, again licking her lips and now biting her lower lip as she was smiling sensually.

_**"You're so cruel."**_ I whispered, still looking at her lips in desire. I really wanted to kiss them and taste them again.

_**"Am I?"**_ She asked raising an eyebrow and looking piercingly into my eyes in a flirty way. Man, why was she doing that? Maybe she was also tipsy. _**"Why?"**_ She asked sensually biting her lower lip and I was still agape and besotted.

_**"You have no idea..."**_ I whispered as I leaned closer to her lips, still open-mouthed looking at them. She didn't move but she glanced at Meredith now.

_**"Hey, Darren, are you here?"**_ Meredith asked and I quickly looked at her.

_**"What?"**_ I exclaimed nervously because finally I realized what I was about to do seconds ago.

_**"I asked you the question and you never answered!"**_ Meredith complained.

_**"Sorry, wasn't listening."**_ I apologized nervously, trying not to look at Freckles.

_**"Yeah, I figured." **_Meredith said raising her eyebrows. _**"Question is: If you had a ton of feathers and a ton of stones which would be heavier?"**_

_**"The stones!"**_ I answered quickly without thinking.

_**"Are you serious, Darren?"**_ Freckles asked chuckling amused.

_**"What? What?"**_ I asked confused.

_**"Darren, the correct answer is neither because they both weigh a ton."**_ Meredith said laughing.

_**"Oh dammit, that was a trick question! Do not blame me, I couldn't think about anything when I had to answer!"**_ I said looking fixedly at Freckles, letting her know that it was her fault. I took a sip of Tequila, aware that after this sip I was going to be officially drunk. _**"Shit. Freckles, the question for you is: A rooster lays an egg at the very top of a slanted roof. Which side is the egg going to roll off on?"**_

_**"Er... Left?"**_ She answered with a question and I laughed.

_**"I can't believe you got it wrong!"**_ I laughed loudly and she looked at me frowning. _**"The correct answer is neither! Roosters don't lay eggs!"**_ I said laughing and Joey and Meredith laughed along with me.

_**"Oh fuck."**_ She exclaimed and took a sip of Tequila with a face of suffering. _**"Damn, I couldn't think about anything when I had to answer."**_ She answered the same as me, looking fixedly at me just as I did. But she looked at me mischievously and sensually again. Shit, shit, shit. She really needed to stop looking that way. _**"Joey! Hey you, answer this question oh my god I can't believe it is so easy, if you get it wrong I don't know what life is anymore..."**_ She said rambling and slurring her words. I knew that when she talked like that it was because she was drunk. _**"Question is what is the world's second longest single span bridge?"**_

_**"What the hell? That it's not easy! What am I supposed to be? An expert of bridges to answer this shit?" **_Joey complained, also slurring his words.

_**"Answer something!"**_ Freckles yelled amused.

_**"I have no idea man! The Great Wall of China?"**_ Joey replied and everybody laughed.

_**"Are you serious man? The Great Wall of China? You gotta be kidding, that it's not even a bridge!"**_ I exclaimed laughing out loud.

_**"Darren, do you wanna answer it with me?" **_Freckles asked looking at me amused.

_**"Golden Gate Bridge!"**_ Freckles and I yelled at the same time while laughing.

_**"Not fair! All because you two are from San Francisco!"**_ Joey complained as he took another sip of Tequila.

Freckles and I looked at each other and started laughing and we high-fived; but we failed surely because the alcohol was screwing our vision. When we tried to do it again, after laughing a lot, Freckles lost the coordination of her body and when she tried to extend her hand to high-five me, she didn't control the force and, by the impulse, she fell on me, hitting my chest with her head as she tried to place a hand on the floor to maintain balance. I quickly held her to prevent her for hitting. I looked down at her as she placed a hand on my leg to try to sit while she was looking at me, laughing uncontrollably. Her laughter was so compelling that I ended up laughing along with her as she now placed her other hand on my chest to try to sit again. Oh man, I loved her peculiar clumsiness. And she was still trying to sit, but she couldn't because she couldn't stop laughing.

_**"Do you wanna some help?"**_ I asked amused.

_**"Yeah, yeah."**_ She answered in between joyfully giggling. I placed a hand on her shoulder and another hand on her waist to help her to sit again as she was still laughing and she was still making me laugh. _**"Oh Darren, oh my god! You're tickling me!"**_ She said laughing.

_**"Oh really?"**_ I asked amused, looking at her mischievously. _**"I remember a young girl who liked to be tickled."**_ I said maliciously and she looked at me with eyes wide open with an amused smile.

_**"Oh no, no, no! I know what's on your mind! Do not dare to do what I'm thinking you'll do, Criss!"**_ She exclaimed really amused.

_**"Too late!"**_ I exclaimed just as amused as her.

I started tickling her all over the sides of her abdomen, her knees, armpits and neck; she started laughing out loud while she was shrinking, trying to stop me. Oh geez, this was much fun; I really missed doing these simple and funny things with someone; and the fact that I was playing with her, was even more awesome. I don't know how she did it, but on her desperation and anxiety to stop me, while she was doing twitching movements of the head, limbs, and torso; she ended up lying on the floor, with her head on my lap; still laughing uncontrollably; so I stopped tickling her and I took the risk to lean and wrap my arms around her waist and rest my head on hers, still laughing as she was calming her laughter slowly. I looked at her: She had her eyes closed and her face radiated joyfulness and amusement; her cheeks were rosy, she was shedding tears because of the laughter, she had a bright smile and her short hair was tousled. Yet, she looked completely beautiful.

"_**Having fun there?"**_ Joey asked suspiciously and so then both Freckles and I looked at him.

_**"Yes!"**_ She answered cheerfully with a giggle as I looked at her and I giggled.

Now I was thinking that it was very good to have her back, even though we still had to talk, but right now, I wanted to enjoy this. I rested my head on hers again as she closed her eyes again.

_**"I'm so sleepy." **_She whispered while yawning.

_**"Do you wanna go to sleep?"**_ I asked also in a whisper.

_**"Yes."**_ She answered with her eyes still closed, but she didn't move.

_**"Well then, let's go to sleep..."**_ I said not knowing why she wouldn't move.

_**"Yes."**_ She answered again with her eyes closed but didn't move. I unwrapped my arms around her, because I thought that maybe it was for that that she didn't move.

_**"Freckles, are you already asleep?"**_ I asked in a whisper, looking at her.

_**"No, no!"**_ She exclaimed quickly, opening her eyes abruptly. Yeah, surely she was dozing and it made me giggle. _**"I think I'll go to bed."**_ She said.

She tried to stand up, but apparently she couldn't control the movements of her body, so she staggered and almost fell on the floor; but fortunately I caught her on time and I placed my hands on her shoulders to prevent her from tumbling.

_**"Whoa, whoa!"**_ I exclaimed because it scared me when she was about to tumble. _**"I'll help you."**_ I said standing up while still holding her.

As soon as I stood up, she dropped the weight of her body on me with her eyes closed; so I raised her up as she wrapped her arms around my neck and rested her head on my shoulder. She was drunk. I looked at Joey and Meredith who were still drinking and laughing.

_**"Hey guys, I'll take her to bed."**_ I said.

_**"Is she drunk?"**_ Joey asked when she saw Freckles on my arms.

_**"Yeah, surely she's drunk. She hasn't eaten anything at all since breakfast; so surely the effect of alcohol in her was quick."**_ Meredith said serious.

_**"Yeah, right."**_ I said frowning and concerned. How come she hasn't eaten since breakfast? She was way too skinny now; could she have an eating disorder? That was something I was going to have to talk to her too._** "Which one is her bed?" **_

_**"Oh, the one that is next to the window."**_ Meredith answered and I nodded.

_**"Well, goodnight guys."**_ I said.

_**"What? Are you going to sleep too?"**_ Joey asked.

_**"Yeah, it's 4am and I have classes in the morning, remember?"**_ I answered and Joey nodded. I turned around to leave Freckles in bed, but then I had a doubt. _**"Umm... Meredith?"**_ I asked kind of nervous.

_**"Yeah?" **_

_**"Um... What do I do? Do I let her sleep with these clothes or... or what?"**_ I asked like an idiot.

_**"I don't know, Darren! What? Do you expect me to change her clothes?"**_ She asked frowning.

_**"No, no! But... Never mind."**_ I sighed, feeling so stupid.

_**"If you want I could change her clothes! I wouldn't mind at all."**_ Joey exclaimed laughing mischievously.

_**"Ha-ha; so funny."**_ I laughed sarcastically. _**"Goodnight."**_

I walked to Freckles' bed and I lay her down in there. She grumbled and frowned with her eyes closed and then she found a comfortable position and smiled slightly. I didn't know what to do know, if I should wake her so she could change her clothes, if I should let her sleep that way or if I should change her clothes. No, the last option was a terrible idea, even though I could do it because it wasn't going to be the first time. I shook her shoulder slightly to wake her, but she grumbled again, frowning, apparently annoyed. Hmm... Maybe I should let her sleep that way. She was taking up most of the bed and there was almost no space for me. And damn, I was used to sleep only on my underwear but I couldn't sleep like that now, it wouldn't be proper; I was going to sleep a bit uncomfortable, but with her. I shook her shoulder softly again to ask her to make room for me, but she snorted again and didn't move. Man, I was going to have to manage to lie down in that little space in bed. First of all, I took off Freckles' shoes and then I took off my shoes; then, as I could, I lay down in bed next to her and I covered us with the blankets. Finally she moved a little and gave me more room. I was face to face with her, both of us lying down in our sides. I was sleepy, but now that I was in bed with her, I couldn't sleep. I couldn't stop looking at her, she was truly beautiful. I wanted to snuggle up to her as before, I wanted to hold her in my arms as before, I wanted to caress her, to touch her, I wanted to kiss her goodnight. Man, how the hell I could have let her go? Not that I wanted it, but I should have searched for her even more; she appeared just right when I gave up on it. I had so many things to tell her, I had so many questions. I was intrigued to know how she felt when she saw me, where she was all this time, what I was for her now, what we were going to do now, why she was here, why she looked so different. She was Freckles, but I wasn't sure if I knew the girl who was in front of me now; what if she changed not only physically? Was she still the same person I fell in love with? Could I tell her that I loved her now? I certainly still loved her, and loved her so much, but I loved what she was in high school. I still wasn't sure if I knew the person who I loved. Man, I needed to sleep, it was too late. I heard Joey and Meredith murmuring things but I couldn't hear what they exactly were saying. Could they be talking about me and Freckles? I looked at Freckles again and I dared to move closer to her and when I noticed she didn't grouch, I placed a hand on her waist and I snuggled up to her. She didn't move and I could finally feel the warmth of her body again. So I dared to go further and I rested my forehead with hers and nuzzled my nose with hers. Again, she didn't grumble; instead, she smiled slightly. And so then, I took the risk to brush my lips with hers. Oh geez, how I wanted to do this! I missed her lips like crazy and they tasted just as good as before, despite the alcohol. I closed my eyes and I slightly kissed them, trying not to wake her. My heart started beating fast and I started feeling the pressure on my chest.

_**"I've missed you, baby."**_ I whispered in front of her lips, still with my eyes closed and feeling her lips on mine. _**"I never stopped loving you."**_

* * *

_**"Darren!"**_ I heard a voice whispering next to me.

_**"Hmm."**_ I grumbled, moving in the bed when someone shook my shoulder.

_**"Darren, wake up."**_ I heard the same voice. _**"Wake up; we have to go to class."**_

_**"Ugh."**_ I snorted in annoyance.

_**"Darren, if you don't get up right now, I'm gonna throw you a glass of cold water in your face."**_ The same voice complained. _**"You're warned."**_

_**"Argh!"**_ I growled in annoyance and I didn't hear the voice again. Few minutes later I felt something wet and cold in my face, which made me wake up abruptly and frightened. _**"What the hell?"**_ I yelled because of the startle; now looking at myself, all wet.

_**"Shh, Meredith and Joey are sleeping!"**_ The voice said and I looked up to find Freckles looking at me amused.

_**"The hell have you done?"**_ I asked in a whisper, incredulous and frowning.

_**"I warned you, Darren."**_ She said giggling softly.

_**"I swear that I'll revenge."**_ I said frowning, pretending to be moody; but the truth was that it was great that the first thing I got in the morning was to hear her voice and laughter.

_**"Whatever!"**_ She giggled softly again. _**"Listen, I'll take a shower and when I come back, I don't want to see you sleeping again."**_

_**"What? Why have you woken me up if you still have to take a shower? Oh man, let me sleep again."**_ I griped while frowning, lying down in bed again.

_**"Criss, I'll bring another glass of cold water again if you don't get up. My shower won't take long time and you surely want to dress up before leaving." **_She whispered looking at me fixedly.

_**"I'm dressed, do not bother me."**_ I said hugging the pillow.

_**"You're not."**_ Freckles said and I frowned before looking at myself. That was right. How the hell has it happened? I was sure that I slept with my shirt on. _**"You took it off during the night."**_ Freckles answered quiet when I looked at her confused. _**"Get up now."**_ She said bossy.

_**"What time is it, anyway?"**_ I complained and huffed.

_**"It's 7am and we have class in an hour."**_ She said grabbing a towel and some clothes.

_**"Oh damn, fine, fine, I'll get up."**_ I complained, sitting on the bed and rubbing my eyes while yawning and then I huffed again, grumbling. I was still very tired. I heard her giggling again and I looked at her curious.

_**"I forgot how grumpy you can be in the mornings."**_ She said smiling amused and shrugging and that made me smile, also amused.

_**"Am not."**_ I said frowning.

_**"You are."**_ She said raising an eyebrow.

_**"Well, maybe a little."**_ I snickered.

_**"Okay, grumpy man, I'll take a shower."**_ She said exhilarated and then she turned around to leave.

I got up and the first thing I did was to grab my shirt and put it on; then I sat in bed again, placing my elbows on my knees and propping my forehead up with my hands. I yawned and I started thinking how weird was to wake up like this, with Freckles in here; and how weirder was the way she was talking to me, as if everything was alright, as if nothing bad has happened between us; how weird it was that she was acting with me with such naturalness and perkiness after she disappeared completely for a year surely because she didn't want to know anything about me. I needed to tell Jen that I found her; hell yeah, I needed to tell her. She was the only one who knew how desperate I was to find Freckles because of what happened. I needed to talk to her, but I couldn't do it here, while Freckles was around and Joey and Meredith were there, sleeping. So I texted her.

To Jen: **Jenny! You won't believe it!**

From Jen: **What, Darren? Have you fell off your chair because you saw a giant tarantula with cat paws, meerkat eyes and gator tail wearing a tutu dress and dancing Thriller by Michael Jackson?**

To Jen: **What? That's absurd; I don't know why you think things like those about me. Think, think! It's something like... Magical!**

From Jen: **Oh my God, you finally saw a unicorn.**

To Jen: **You're not trying, Jennifer Nedeau. It seems that The George Washington University's School of Media and Public Affairs is affecting your skills for guessing.**

Yeah, Jen was in Detroit studying Psychology; but she said she didn't like it, so now she was studying Journalism at The George Washington University's School of Media and Public Affairs, in Washington D.C. Now we weren't so close and I didn't like it; but I was glad that she was studying it because she always loved that stuff, since she became the Student Body President at high school.

From Jen: **Is that your way to say how much you miss me? Just tell me, Criss; I do not have much time to my first class.**

To Jen: **I saw Freckles.**

From Jen: **WHAT? You saw her for real or again in your dreams?**

To Jen: **For real. She's here, also attending the University of Michigan.**

From Jen: **Are you serious, Darren? This isn't another of your pranks, right?**

To Jen: **No, I'm completely serious. I slept with her last night.**

From Jen: **What? What the hell? I'm calling you.**

To Jen: **No, do not do that! I can't speak right now! My roommates are sleeping and Freckles is around. Do not call me, Jen!**

From Jen: **Ok.** **You need to tell me it all. How did it happen? Why is she there? How is she? How are you? Is everything alright? And what the hell do you mean with 'I slept with her'?**

To Jen: **Hey! Slow down with the questions! I don't know how it happened, she's the roommate of one of my friends; I still don't know why she's here. She's different now, physically talking, personally talking I still don't know. I'm fine, Jenny, you can picture how damn happy I am after a year... And I just slept with her, in the most innocent meaning of the word.**

From Jen: **Oh my god. I need to call you, Darren. We cannot talk about this in this way. Just text me when you can speak. Geez, this is extraordinary.**

I put my phone in the pocket of my jeans and I lay down in bed, not to sleep but to stare at the ceiling and think about this that recently happened. I knew that Jen would be surprised about this because she always helped me to search Freckles; because Freckles was her friend and she missed her and was just as worried as I was when we couldn't find her. She never wanted me to give up on looking for Freckles, but I explained her that I couldn't keep holding on this, so she understood. Now I was wondering why I didn't listen to her when she was telling me that, if I wanted, I could find Freckles. But it was pointless now, the important was that finally I found her, or she found me; or Meredith made us find each other, or maybe it was Joey when he insisted me to come here last night. Maybe it was just fate. Whatever it has happened, it just happened.

_**"Darren! I told you not to sleep again!"**_ Freckles' voice suddenly said in a whisper, as scolding me.

_**"I'm not sleeping!"**_ I answered, sitting abruptly on the bed with my eyes wide open. _**"I was just waiting for you to come out the bathroom so I could use it."**_ I said looking at her from head to toe.

Oh geez, she looked amazing. She was wearing a bohemian floral long skirt, very colorful, and a white blouse. She also had phoenix tail earrings made of colorful thread and a very funny pair of Charlotte Olympia black suede cat flat shoes. How the hell was she now used to wear such extravagant clothing if she was shy? I don't know, man, but that was fantastic. I liked her new quirky and fashionable way of dressing.

_**"I like your shoes."**_ I said laughing.

_**"Oh, you like kittens."**_ She answered giggling softly, looking for something in the closet. _**"You can use the bathroom. Hurry up, we don't have much time."**_

_**"Yeah, sure, kitten woman."**_ I said jokingly, standing up and walking to the bathroom.

_**"How did you call me?"**_ She asked amused.

_**"Kitten woman!"**_ I repeated, chuckling and getting in the bathroom.

When I was already in the bathroom, I realized that I had no toothbrush and I really needed one; I didn't want to have bad breath. I also needed a comb, a shaver and a deodorant. Oh damn, it was bad idea to spend the night here; now I didn't have time to go to my room to change my clothes, brush my teeth, shave my stubble and comb my hair. I couldn't go to class like this, and I didn't want to be with Freckles like this, looking scruffy and smelly.

_**"Freckles?"**_ I yelled from the bathroom and I heard steps coming closer.

_**"Yeah?" **_I heard her answering from behind the door.

_**"Um, I... I need... I..."**_ I started babbling because I didn't know how the hell I could say that I needed my personal stuff and I didn't even know why I called her to tell her this if she couldn't do anything about it.

_**"What? Is there something wrong?"**_ She asked again.

_**"Yeah... I... I need..."**_ I started babbling again.

_**"What do you need?"**_ She asked.

_**"Umm, my toothbrush and a comb... among other things..."**_ I answered awkwardly.

_**"Oh, I see..."**_ She answered quietly. _**"Can I come in?"**_ She asked and I frowned in confusion, thinking how weird that question sounded.

_**"Yeah, yeah sure."**_ I answered and then she opened the door and entered the bathroom. I didn't know why I was feeling very uncomfortable. She didn't say anything; she was only looking for something in a cabinet that was there. She pulled out a little bag and opened it.

_**"You can use this toothbrush, I never used it, so don't worry."**_ She said handing me a blue toothbrush. _**"And you can use my comb, if you don't mind."**_ She said and I shook my head, of course I didn't mind. So she gave me a comb shaped like a mustache. I grabbed it, looking at it very amused.

_**"This comb is totally awesome."**_ I said and she chuckled.

_**"You can keep it if you want."**_ She said.

_**"Oh no, it's yours and it's amazing."**_ I answered quickly.

_**"Yeah, but I can get another one like it..." **_She said quietly while looking for something else. _**"I designed it and made it by myself." **_She said shrugging.

_**"Are you fucking kidding me? Have you designed this shit?"**_ I asked amazed, looking at that amazing comb.

_**"Yeah, I have. I like to design random stuff."**_ She answered with a slight smile.

_**"You should start selling this stuff. People would love it!"**_ I exclaimed still amazed. I couldn't believe that she could design things.

_**"Nah, I don't wanna do it. I do these kinds of things only as a hobby, not as a resource to earn money, I wouldn't like it."**_ She answered quietly and then she pulled out another thing. _**"Here, you can use this deodorant, it's unisex and it smells good."**_

_**"Oh yeah, thank you. I really need it."**_ I said grabbing the deodorant. _**"By chance... Don't you have a razor?"**_ I asked shyly.

_**"Oh no, sorry. I don't use a razor for depilation. I prefer the wax, sorry."**_ She said chuckling and I blushed like an idiot.

_**"I think it was too much to ask."**_ I said trying to joke and not to seem an idiot.

_**"Yeah..."**_ She answered giggling. _**"Anyway, I don't know why you want a razor. The scruffy beard looks well on you."**_ She said shrugging.

_**"Gee, thanks."**_ I answered shyly and I blushed again like a stupid. Man, she was the only one who could make me blush like a teenager.

_**"You're welcome. Okay, I'll leave you alone now... If you need something else, just call me."**_ She said and I nodded. _**"Keep the comb, really."**_

_**"Okay, thank you."**_ I answered, smiling politely and then she left.

So she liked to design things and she was really good at it; she also painted all those paintings that were on the wall and she also designed lamps and stuff. What was this? As far as I knew, Freckles was always good at subjects like politics, speech, English and math; but I didn't know she was good at arts. Since when? And why we shared the Costume Design course? Could she also be studying for a B.F.A. in performance and acting? I always thought that she was going to study something related to laws or writing, or stuff like that. But she was here and she could do all those awesome stuff. This was odd and this whole thing was intriguing for me. I really wanted to talk to her. After I finished my usual, not so usual now, routine in bathroom; I walked out and found Freckles already ready, waiting for me. She had an awesome boombox handbag.

_**"Oh my wizard god! Your handbag is totally awesome!" **_I exclaimed impressed. _**"Have you also designed it?"**_

_**"No, I haven't." **_She said chuckling. _**"But I can get you one if you want."**_

_**"No, it's okay. I bet you're the only one who has it."**_ I answered.

_**"Yeah, but only for now. Soon it's gonna be released." **_She answered joyfully.

_**"Where do you get all that stuff?"**_ I asked curiously.

_**"Oh, that is a secret. Maybe sometime I could show you it."**_ She said looking at me mysteriously and amused.

_**"Yes, please. Maybe sometime we could go shopping together; I'd like it."**_ I said intentionally. Yes, I was trying to get to spend all the time I could with her and I wouldn't stop inviting her to hang out together. Now that she was back, I should do that.

_**"Yeah, maybe some time."**_ She answered shrugging. Well, I didn't like so much that answer because now I knew what women wanted to say with these kinds of answers and it was that they weren't really interested and it was indifferent for them. But I was willing to make her be interested on me again. _**"Let's go?"**_

_**"Yes."**_ I answered and we both left.

It was weird to be walking next to her in silence and not holding hands. But I wanted to think in a positive way; so I took this as a new chance to make her fall for me again, as a new start for the two of us. It was like meeting each other again and it could be fun. And I was positively thinking that I could get her back as my girlfriend. Yeah, I didn't want to have a girlfriend, but she was the only exception.

_**"Dammit!"**_ I exclaimed while we were walking.

_**"What's wrong?" **_She asked curious, looking at me frowning.

_**"I just realized that I don't have my bag. Man, how am I supposed to go to class without my bag?"**_ I complained, annoyed with myself.

_**"Do not panic!"**_ She exclaimed loudly and laughing and I looked at her stunned. _**"I have an extra notebook and pen if you want it." **_

_**"Really?"**_ I asked and she nodded. _**"Oh man, you're like my savior!"**_ I exclaimed loudly and she laughed.

_**"You're so theatrical and dramatic."**_ She said shaking her head with an amused smile. Alright, it was time to start flirting with her.

_**"Yeah? And do you like it?"**_ I asked looking at her with a mischievously smile. She looked at me and raised an eyebrow; and she kept walking without answering anything at all. I didn't care; I wouldn't stop with the flirting. _**"I will take your silence as a yes."**_

_**"Whatever you want, Darren."**_ She said while walking ahead me. I ran to step behind her.

_**"I know you like it."**_ I whispered sensually in her ear and she shivered before looking at me frowning and serious and then she kept walking. Oh damn, she didn't like it; maybe I was going too fast. _**"Hey, don't get mad, I was just joking and fooling." **_

_**"I'm not mad."**_ She answered curtly but she kept walking ahead me.

_**"But you seem mad."**_ I said now stepping next to her.

_**"I'm not mad, Darren."**_ She sighed and then she finally looked at me. _**"You know? Um, I have to go to class really quickly. So... See you later, Darren."**_ She said and she started walking faster away from me.

_**"Hey, wait! Freckles, wait!"**_ I yelled but she didn't stop. _**"Can I at least have your number?" **_I yelled again, but she didn't stop and she didn't look back.

_**"Fool!"**_ A random guy laughed at me and passed by, but I ignored him.

Oh shit, why did I have to flirt with her that way? I was indeed a fool. I really didn't want to screw this with Freckles. But the point was that I couldn't stop flirting with her because I wanted her back, and she didn't like this. Maybe we didn't want the same. That was a problem.


	33. Somebody I used to know

A/N: Hello guys! Are you surprised because you got a new chapter in an unusual day? Are you wondering if this is real or not? Are you picturing that an alien kidnaped me and got my personal information and forced me to post a new chapter? Are you thinking that I have a memory leak and I'm lost in days, thinking it was Saturday instead Wednesday? Let me tell you that none of that happened, thankfully. I updated today because... We have a birthday, ladies and gentlemen! Today is 'MrsDarrenCriss3' birthday! So, as a humble and simple virtual gift, I decided to post a new chapter for her! I wish you can have a totally awesome birthday, full of fluffy, unicorns, rainbows, Nutella and cakes! May all your dreams come true! Don't forget to make a wish when blowing out your birthday cake's candles! Now, birthday girl, it's up to you if you want to read this chapter today or not; I don't know if I recommend you to read it today. But anyways, I hope you all can enjoy this early update and this new chapter! On Saturday, you'll get another update and everything will return to normal, unless there's another birthday and you want as present a new chapter! You could let me know when your birthday is, if you want! Now, as usual, I'll reply my reviews!

SkittlesPanda: Why are you so sure that something bad is gonna happen to them? Oh right, maybe because you've already read all the chapters I already posted and you know I have this serious trouble! Maybe 'angst' should be my second name; actually my third name because I do have a middle name. Thank you for saying that my writing brings out emotions that other stories usually don't! I really try to make it, hence why I picture everything as a movie when writing! haha I'm weird, maybe. I only hope you don't die!

alicegursk: Uncontrollable emotions are always awesome emotions! I'll start describing my uncontrollable emotions in that way! And I hope you can give me some of your awesomeness, we'll make the team of awesome wives! Okay, let's go to the story as you said! Honestly, I thought about the game spin the bottle, then I said, nah! I've already wrote about that game, it'll better if they play another one. I spent hours thinking about questions! It was tough. I'm sure that if I'd have watched the episode 'I do' by the time I wrote this chapter, I'd have written something about them having sex and then just this 'just friends' awkward situation; but unfortunately, I couldn't! haha. I like this new Freckles too! Finally she's more self-confident! But I do think she's weird anyway; you'll see. And well, let's see if she stills love him or not! Oh! You'll get so many chapters talking about that! I love you too and more when you put this adorable face: :3 It reminds me to a little kitten!

zahra auob: Zahra! I'm glad you liked this chapter! Well, Freckles and Darren still have to talk to make up things! It'll be a very important talk that could change everything, for better or worse. But there happen things in between, before the talk; and this is what you'll get in this chapter! Well, I'll write about StarKids in this second part because they're part of Darren's life in his college time; but they won't appear a lot because the main topic is always Darren-Freckles; among other characters that will appear! Anyway, is hard to write them because they have a peculiar sense of humor and awesomeness that I could never get! Awww thank a lot for saying that my chapters are the best thing to wake up to! It made me feel really happy!

Nicole: I wonder if someday Pigfarts will have internet access, then I guess everybody would want to live there until the end of time! You got to ride Rumbleroar's back! I so envy you! (In a good way, of course) Now that you told me your experience, I'll keep working on my rocketship to go there! Yes, I know! Poor Darren! I think things will be messy between him, Freckles, and now Joey! I think you know me, with the twists and all! Ah! The drinking game! It was so hard to write because questions wouldn't come to my mind! I spent a lot time thinking about questions and making them connect somehow! So, do you suspect that Jim was starting to have feelings for Freckles and for that he has done what he has done? That's an interesting theory! You'll know, eventually, the reasons. Yet, you'll have to wait a long for that and you guessed right! I won't tell you anything about it, only because I'm cruel and I want you to be intrigued about it! And also because I like when you tell me your theories, it's always awesome to read your own conclusions, I really enjoy it! Hugs and butterflies kisses for you!

amritsoomal: Please don't kill anybody! You don't wanna be jailed! Unless it's a jail in Pigfarts with talking animals, in which case everybody would love to be jailed. Joey and Freckles... Well, there's a story between them, here are the options: 1. They're gonna be haters. 2. They're gonna be just fellows. 3. They're gonna be friends. 4. They're gonna be fuck buddies. 5. They'll have a love affair. 6. They're gonna get married in Las Vegas while drunk and then they are getting divorced. 7. They'll get married until the end of time. 8. Joey will turn into water and Freckles into olive oil, so they won't be compatible and Darren will drink the water and cook bacon in olive oil. Now, you have to choose an option! 'Then you can play happy families again' I laughed so hard when I read this; actually is very accurate! I want a mustache comb too! Once I saw it here in a random shop and I wanted to buy it, but it was so expensive! Too sad! And I'm not like Freckles that can do one by herself, I'm not good at all at that shit! 'whatsherface' hahaha I can tell how much you love the fuck buddy! (Add sarcasm here) The bitch is called Kelly! haha. Oh, there'll be something interesting about her too! See? You didn't have to wait for so long till the next update, and you got a new chapter on Wednesday! I don't think I'll post every Wednesday because I'm starting college again next week and this is my final thesis, so I'm gonna be kind of busy to write so many chapters! But eventually you could get surprises!

MeMi83: Yes! They found each other and Freckles walked away from Darren hastily! I think it's because their situation is complicated! I'll insist that they have to talk, but the interesting is what happens before they can talk! And of course what will happen before they get to talk. Well, I'm really glad that you're liking the twists because you'll tons of twists since they relationship is a big huge complicated twist! This is so nice and cute to know that you don't have to pretend it! So, you said that you're glad that your reviews encourages me to keep writing because it allows you to keep reading, so I guess we both win! At least I know I'll have you as my reader and I love that! 'Have a wonderful week full of RedVines, unicorns and warm fuzzies!' You too! :)

Kaylacriss332: Omg! You've told your friend the question of the shaving cream! That's hilarious! I'll ask my friends the same, so I'll know if they're dirty minds, just as your friend turned out to be! haha. It was really hard to think about all the questions, like I think I'll never do it again. I spent literally hours thinking about questions, writing questions then discarding them, writing again other questions, reformulating questions, trying to make some funny and dirty questions. Argh! It was really tough. And, I can't promise you to not kill this again! You know that it goes against my overdramatic mind!

caarolineboeira1: Hi Caroline! Well, Freckles is not one of those girls who are messing around in life slapping people, even if maybe it could happen, someday. See? I wasn't so cruel and I let her talk to Darren! So you have a bad feeling, huh? Well, I think the same than you; she won't just forget what Darren 'did'. From this chapter on, you'll get just few hints of why Freckles acted that way with Darren, even if she still thinks Darren has left her. After few chapters you'll completely understand what happened to Freckles after that, maybe. And I also think that Darren needs to tell her that Jim was the guilty. But things will happen before they can talk, good or bad things, I won't tell! Her possible eating disorder, that is something that Darren thought, we have to wait to see if it's in fact like that or not. Remember that in this story Darren is 'the king of overreactions' according to Freckles, haha.

Vicky: I love the fact that you've asked me questions! I love to answer questions! I did see the trailer of Imogene/Girl Most Likely. How do I think Darren will be in that movie? Three words: Sexy as hell. Yes, for the little I could see, he looks very appealing; the part in which he danced, it was just very sexy for me and I wished I could be Kristen Wiig and more because they had sex, lol. Besides that, I think Darren will be like this young guy who's talented and is into singing (duh) but only got to work as a Backstreet Boy impersonator; a guy who will help Imogene to overcome her troubles and of course Imogene would fall in love with him (who wouldn't?). And I do think that Lee (Darren) will be interested on Imogene, but I'm not sure if they will end up together, in a serious and consistent relationship. I think I will totally love this movie and the character that Darren is gonna perform. Now what I think about Come What May. I think is one of the best songs of the season (besides The Scientist because I love Coldplay, Don't Stop Me Now because I love Queen, It's Time, Dark Side, Homeward Bound/Home and Mine); but definitely I loved that and I'll tell you why I loved it so much: not only because it's Klaine and I love Klaine. I really love this song because I haven't seen the performance and I already felt a lot of feelings. Both Darren and Chris, only with their voices, made me feel the real meaning of the song; and there aren't many artists and songs that can actually produce me an intense feeling as if I were feeling the happiness, sadness, love, desperation or whatever any song is about. Now, you see, that's something only a really good and talented artist can do. Now about the story and Freckles; I also like this new Freckles because she is more self-confident, but she is weird. And now from this chapter on, you'll find out why Freckles reacted that way with Darren and she didn't slap him or whatever. But you won't get all the reasons only in this chapter. Maybe she's gonna revenge, that's an interesting theory; maybe she is hiding something behind. You'll soon understand completely! And sorry for the long response, I just really love answering questions!

SamCollinsHolmes: My Sherlock! haha Were you really answering the questions? That's really great! I can totally picture you doing that, like those games in which you have to answer quickly because you've a limited time to answer them. I don't know why, but I pictured it like that! The story of Hakuna Matata! Oh my wizard god, Gab! Such a coincidence! Actually it's not a coincidence, I was given the power of reading minds, but I should keep it as a secret. No, really, it's really funny! I can't believe it! Like you're Darren (of course, we talked about this) and you bff is Joey! Do you realize how fucking awesome that is? Actually the real reason of why Freckles cannot be with Darren again is because Freckles is imaginary, she really doesn't exist. All of this is a big damn lie! Nothing of what happened is real. It was only a dream that Darren is having; and Darren isn't Darren. Darren is just a talking acorn that has feelings and is dreaming his last dream because a squirrel called Quirrell is gonna eat him and Squirrel Quirrell is gonna share him with Voldy because they're an odd couple and they're different as can be. Oh damn! I think I spoiled you the end of this story. I'll have to call Men in Black to erase your memory, or maybe I could cast the Obliviate spell. Are you really going to study at University of Michigan? Like, really? That would be geez! So impressive! I was also researching about it for a graduate program, a Master of Urban Design and a Master of Architecture; once I get my degree in Architecture at the end of this year. But I'm not still sure about it. And you'll be in the same program as Darren, I must assume! Yeah, Darren is gonna be flirty, like really flirty; or maybe not! And the story you wrote for English! I couldn't stop laughing! For me it had sense, they just cannot understand the awesomeness of having a weird mind in which everything has perfectly sense. You mixed a lot of stories and reference to different shows, books, movies and reality. So I do think they may envy you! But I'm disappointed because you didn't mention anything about riding Rumbleroar's back (I'm obsessed with that and I'm looking forward for the day I get to do it). Don't worry for taking so long! I'm glad I could reply you in time, before updating a new chapter, my awesome Sherlock! With love, your Moriarty that is taking vacations!

Well guys, that's all! I hope you feel happy because of this early update! Remember, on Saturday I'll post another chapter and everything will return to normal! So don't worry. I'll let you read this chapter. Finally you're getting Freckles' POV! You'll know a little bit of how she feels about all of this that is happening! Everything is already said, so I wish you a lovely Wednesday, Thursday and Friday; full of butterflies, suns, rabbits, squirrels and acorns (or actors?); until next Saturday!

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**Teenage Dream – Chapter 33 – Somebody I used to know.**

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Your life at college has started and you were now at the University of Michigan to get a B.F.A. in Interarts Performance. You were excited about starting college, but you weren't excited about that you could see Darren there. You knew that he was attending the University of Michigan and he was studying to get a B.F.A. in performance and acting; so it was probably that you were going to see him, mostly because you had some Theatre & Drama introductory elective courses and for that you had to go to the same building than him. That idea terrified you. It's been a year since the last time you saw him, when he left you that note in that hotel room. That day destroyed you and you were a complete mess; you were very depressed for imagining something with Darren that couldn't be. It was as if everything you've ever planned and wished suddenly faded away. You were aware only about one thing: You needed to forget Darren as easily as he dumped you. It was a tough year, but you overcame it and to overcome it, you changed. You literally changed everything: You changed your phone number, so he wouldn't talk to you again; you changed your school, so Darren wouldn't see you there; and you changed the place you lived and moved to L.A. with your mother and sister, so Darren wouldn't find you in your old house. While living in L.A. you changed your appearance, your personality, your likes, your interests, your everything. You were another person now, very different from the person you were the last time you saw Darren. You had new friends and a new style of life. You even had a new boyfriend. You knew that your relationship with that new boyfriend wasn't meant to be, but you lasted more than half a year and it ended when you had to go separate ways to start college. You liked him, but you could never love him the way you used to love Darren. Anyway, now that you were starting college and with that a new life, you were positively thinking that you could meet a new guy who could take your breath away just as Darren did in old times. You didn't know anybody there; anybody except Brian. You changed everything, but you didn't change him. You always kept talking to him and you met occasionally in L.A. You and him became good friends, best friends. He helped you a lot in those times you were depressed and he helped you see that life could move on even with the most terrible things. You still couldn't believe that the guy who you hated became your best friend and the guy who you loved became a stranger; it was ironic. The first thing you did when you arrived at the University of Michigan was to see Brian. You were hoping that you could share a room with him, but he had already a new roommate. Anyway, he told you that in the end of the first term, he was going to move to another room with you. Until then, you had to find a roommate. It wasn't so hard; your new roommate was going to be a girl of second year. When you met her, you realized that she was cool and funny, fortunately. She let you decorate the room the way you wanted and she loved it. She respected your schedules for everything, she respected the space you needed to do that you liked to do, and she respected your new habits such as foods and order in the room. And you also respected her; you really wanted to get along with your roommate. One of the things you two agreed was that if someone of you wanted to invite someone, neither of you were going to complain; that way, you were going to be able to invite Brian and she was going to be able to invite her friends. So you didn't complain when she asked you if she could invite two of her friends; actually you wanted it, maybe you could get to know more people in here. You never expected that one of her friends could be Darren. As first you saw him, you felt shocked because you weren't expecting to see him so soon. He was right there, looking at you; it was him. You felt really nervous and uncomfortable, but you pretended to be fine. You needed to act naturally, as if he was just another guy. You planned what to do if you ever had to greet him; you planned how to act if you ever had to be with him. Yes, you overcame it; as if nothing ever has happened. You needed to keep in mind your plan; you needed to keep in mind that what happened between him and you was long time ago and now you both were different; you needed to keep in mind that it's been more than a year and neither of you had feelings for each other now. You needed to act with him as if he was a stranger just as he was, because he was a stranger now. You never thought you could feel so nervous, and more after hugging him. To have hugged him was the most terrible thing you could have done. You immediately remembered his smell, the feeling you used to have when you were in his arms, the comfort and warmth of being in his arms and how well your body fit with his. Anyway, you tried to dissipate those feelings. But as the night continued, it was being hard. You were enjoying your time with him and it wasn't supposed to feel like that. But he was funny and he was lively. And he looked really different as you remembered; he looked as a man and not as a teen; there was something weird on his face... and his hair looked weird; damn, that was an amazing big afro and curly hair. And the alcohol wasn't helping; you shouldn't have gotten drunk because you knew how you were while drunk: you were very clingy, handsey and grabby; and you didn't want Darren to misinterpret anything and more than Meredith kinda forced you to sleep with him. You weren't comfortable about it, but you didn't want to arouse suspicion that you and Darren were more than peers in high school. You couldn't remember so much how it was to sleep with Darren again because you were drunk; but you could remember what you felt when you saw him sleeping very close to you when you woke up. You felt something weird in your chest, something that you haven't felt in a while, like a pressure and also you felt a ticklish in your belly. But soon you remembered again what he has done the last time you saw him, so you quickly got up and forgot about that feeling. You weren't going to make the same mistake with him again. You were going to try to get along with him, but nothing else was going to happen with him; not again. So that was it, you were going to act to him as if he was just a random person you recently met, just as if he was like Joey. Darren Everett Criss was only a random guy who you just recently met; no bonds, no past between you and him.

_**"Hey Sunny, what's up? I hope I made it in time, I came as fast as I could."**_ Brian said shaken and troubled.

_**"Yeah, yeah, you made it in time."**_ You answered trying to make him feel less troubled.

You've been waiting for Brian at the Café ConXion at SQ in the Central Campus. You called him to ask him if you could meet because you needed to tell him urgently that something really important happened; you needed to tell him about Darren because you didn't know with who else you could talk. Apparently, what you said seemed as if you've had an accident or something because he was very worried and edgy.

_**"What happened, Sunny?"**_ He asked concerned.

Sunny, that was the way he was used to call you since one day you dressed up with yellow clothes and he told you that among the clothes and your cheerfulness and brightness, you looked like the sun. It was a funny nickname, but you liked it.

_**"Nothing really too serious; so please calm down."**_ You said quietly.

_**"Alright..."**_ He said frowning and suspiciously. _**"What is that you wanted to tell me so urgently that couldn't wait because it's a matter of life or death?"**_

_**"Oh yeah, right. I tend to overreact sometimes."**_ You answered giggling.

_**"Yeah, I think so. Gee, I thought that you had a kind of accident but you look fine. You're fine, aren't you?" **_He asked again suspiciously.

_**"Yes, I'm fine, I guess."**_ You answered shrugging and he looked at you expectant, as if he really wanted to know what happened, so you sighed before speaking. _**"I saw Darren."**_

_**"You saw Darren?"**_ He asked surprised, looking fixedly at you. You knew what kind of look it was, he wanted to know more. _**"So...? How was it to see him again?"**_

_**"I don't know... weird."**_ You answered, looking away.

_**"Sunny, you knew that you were going to see him sooner or later. I don't know why you're altered about this if you prepared yourself for this."**_ Brian reminded you.

_**"I'm not altered."**_ You answered frowning.

_**"Sure not, but you needed to talk to me about something really important or you were going to explode. Those were your words."**_ Brian said looking fixedly at you.

_**"I told you already, I tend to overreact."**_ You said on the defensive.

_**"Okay, tell me now, have you greeted him?"**_ He asked curiously.

_**"Well, I haven't only greeted him..." **_You replied looking down and raising an eyebrow and when you looked up at him, he was looking at you expectant. _**"It turns out that he's one of my roommate's friends. And well, she invited two of her friends last night, one of them was Darren; so I spent the night with him and I slept with him. Yeah..."**_ You explained quickly to say it all in a jiffy.

_**"You what?"**_ He screeched really loudly and perplexed.

_**"Yes, that what you heard." **_You said trying to avoid his look. You knew he wouldn't like it so much.

_**"Wait, wait, wait. You slept with him? What?"**_ He asked still very puzzled.

_**"Yes, I slept with him, Brian. But nothing happened; at least that is what I can remember."**_ You explained quietly, feeling embarrassed because some people were looking at you and Brian because of the way Brian yelled.

_**"What do you mean with that at least that is what you remember?"**_ He asked suspiciously, trying to speak lower.

_**"Oh yes, because I got drunk."**_ You explained, still avoiding his gaze. Now you knew he was going to scold you.

_**"What? Oh man, what the hell? What's wrong with you?"**_ He asked stunned.

_**"Nothing is wrong with me."**_ You replied frowning, looking at him a bit upset. _**"I just wanted to have fun and we played a game. I didn't intend to get drunk, it just happened." **_

_**"Right."**_ He said shaking his head._** "And how do you explain the fact that you've slept with him?" **_

_**"What's with that? I only slept. No big deal. It's not as if I've never ever slept with a guy in the same bed. I did it with Darren in the past, I slept with Ian, and I've even slept with you, Brian. I don't see why you make of this a big drama."**_ You replied annoyed.

_**"Because with Darren is different. You and I are only friends and we're aware of it, so it's not bad. Ian was your boyfriend and it was fine that you've slept with Darren in the past; but now you and him don't have the same relationship than before, it's different now, you don't have the confidence to do it."**_ Brian explained serious as you kept looking away. He was right at some point. _**"Why have you done it?" **_

_**"Only because we drank too much and he doesn't live in the same building than me; so he stayed at my room. I only slept with him because the two of us had to wake up at the same time and Meredith and her other friend, Joey, didn't have to wake up early. That's why."**_ You explained trying to remain quiet and Brian was still looking at you concerned. _**"Nothing happened, really."**_

_**"How did you feel?"**_ He asked.

_**"I don't know, I already told you, I felt weird."**_ You answered honestly. _**"He's funny and he looks... Well, he looks good. We got along pretty well and I had fun. But I'm aware that nothing ever is going to happen between me and him, not again. He's just like a guy I've just met. I'll be polite and kind with him if he deserves so; but I'll keep in mind that we're nothing but acquaintances."**_ You explained trying to sound convincing.

_**"And have you felt attracted to him?"**_ He asked gingerly.

_**"Well, yeah... But only because it's the first time I see him after a year. He was important to me, he isn't anymore, but something remains there, the memories I have with him."**_ You said and it seemed that Brian didn't believe you judging by the way he was looking at you. _**"Honestly, he isn't important to me anymore and I don't feel attracted. It was just a fleeting feeling; because this morning I didn't feel attracted to him anymore." **_

_**"Okay, I believe you. And how has he reacted when he saw you?"**_ Brian asked curiously.

_**"He seemed to be surprised."**_ You shrugged, indifferent.

_**"Just surprised? Hasn't he tried to talk to you about what happened between you? Or hasn't he flirted with you?"**_ He asked.

_**"No, he hasn't tried to talk to me about what happened. And maybe he flirted a little, yeah; but I flirted too... I guess it was only for the alcohol. No, I'm sure about it."**_ You answered trying to sound indifferent again.

_**"Oh, Sunny."**_ He said sighing and shaking his head as if he was disappointed. _**"And your roommate hasn't wondered why you and Darren acted as if you knew each other?"**_

_**"Yes, she asked if we knew each other."**_

_**"And what have you answered?" **_

_**"Nothing; that we were just peers in high school. I never explained that we were a couple and I think that Darren never told anybody that he had a girlfriend in high school, because his friend Joey had no idea who I was but he knew who Jen was, for example."**_ You answered frowning.

_**"What are you gonna do now?"**_ He asked intrigued.

_**"I won't do anything. I'll just act as usual because nothing changed. I only saw him, talked to him, laughed with him, tickled with him, slept with him... But nothing else; not the end of the world, no big deal."**_ You answered while raising an eyebrow when you realized that actually you've already done a lot of things with him and this was only the first time you saw him. _**"If we see each other again, well, it's fine. But I won't look for him; I'm not interested of being friends with him. But if by chance it comes to happen, well, we're gonna be just friends."**_

_**"Okay..."**_ He said sighing. _**"Are you gonna talk to him about what happened?" **_

_**"I don't know... Maybe yes, maybe not. As I said, I won't look for him but if ever we talk again and he wants to talk about it, I won't oppose. But I'm not gonna be the first to talk about it. If he wants, fine; if not, cool."**_ You said shrugging.

_**"You know that the best is if you talk to him, so you'll really know what happened."**_ Brian said insistent as he's been since you told him about the note and the hotel room.

_**"I know what really happened, Brian. He dumped me. Clearer, impossible." **_You replied, raising an eyebrow.

_**"But what if he didn't want to do it?" **_He insisted as always. _**"He couldn't just have dumped you with no reasons, not after the kind of relationship that you guys had." **_

_**"Well, but he did, Brian. I don't wanna talk about it anymore. Let bygones be bygones."**_ You answered upset. _**"And in any case, he's not the same as he used to be. And I'm not anymore that girl I used to be in high school; I'm different now and I have other plans for my life, and Darren isn't on them." **_You said roundly, surefire.

_**"Fine, fine! Don't get mad at me!"**_ Brian exclaimed raising his eyebrows. _**"Summing up... Are you happy to have seen him again or not?" **_

_**"I'm just indifferent. I don't care anymore, so our reunion didn't mean anything to me." **_You answered shrugging.

_**"Okay, but telling you what I think and considering the way you told me you had something very important to tell me... I do think it meant something to you to have seen him again."**_ Brian said raising an eyebrow and looking at you fixedly.

_**"Do not insist, Brian. It meant nothing and end of this conversation."**_ You said sighing. _**"Tell me, how was your first day in college?"**_

Brian and you kept talking for a little more and you even skipped your next class, only because you missed talking to him. It was good to know that now you and he were going to be able to see each other more often this year, even if you weren't in the same campus. You couldn't wait to move with him to an apartment in Ann Arbor, out the campus. After a while, you came back to the north campus because you had to draw few sketches for your course of Concept, Form, and Context I: The Human Being. When you arrived to your room, Meredith wasn't there and it was good, because you had a lot to do; there was a note from her that said that she was going to a bar in Ann Arbor with her friends and just in case you wanted to join them, she gave you the address. Of course you weren't going to go, surely Darren was with them and you didn't want to see him again, at least not that day again; maybe another time, you thought. You took advantage that Meredith wasn't there to put the music out loud while quietly grabbing a white paper to place it on an easel. You grabbed your charcoal pencils and started sketching, trying to copy the drawing 'Head of a Young Woman with Tousled Hair' by Leonardo de Vinci. Gee, it was super hard and you regretted to have chosen that drawing. You were so focused trying to copy the eyes of the woman in the drawing until someone knocked the door. Surely it was Meredith. Before opening the door, you lowered the music volume and rubbed your eyes because they were aching for having spent hours drawing nonstop. When you opened the door, the person who was there was Darren. You looked at him surprised, raising an eyebrow.

_**"Hi Darren. Meredith isn't here."**_ You said as soon as you saw him.

_**"Yeah, I know."**_ He answered and you looked at him curiously, frowning. _**"I'm not here for Meredith."**_

_**"Oh, is it because you forgot something here?"**_ You asked looking fixedly at him.

_**"Yeah..."**_ He answered, running his fingers through his hair, looking down. You knew that expression of him because it hasn't changed: whether he was nervous or he was lying.

_**"What is it? I'll see if I can find it and then I'll hand it to you."**_ You said. You weren't going to let him in.

_**"I... Well... It's... Can I come in?"**_ He asked awkwardly, now looking at you.

_**"No..."**_ You answered curtly and he looked down, biting his lower lip. _**"I'm busy and really, the room is a mess. Tell me what you forgot here and I'll give it to you."**_

_**"Umm... Well, I forgot... I forgot my hoodie."**_ He answered babbling.

_**"Okay, I'll look for it. Wait here."**_ You said and then you closed the door.

You searched for his hoodie in vain, because you knew he was lying. Of course, he didn't wear a hoodie last night. Why would he show up knowing that Meredith wasn't there? What did he want? What did he expect? Maybe it wasn't a good thing to have seen him; maybe this wasn't good at all. Damn, you never thought that seeing him again was going to be like this. You thought that if you were going to see him, you only were going to see each other; you never thought that you were going to talk to him and less to see him often. You never expected that Darren was going to show up in your room as if everything was alright. Well, nothing was alright. You walked to the door again and opened it. Darren was still there, looking down; but as soon as you opened the door, he looked up nervous.

_**"Your hoodie isn't here, sorry."**_ You said curtly.

_**"Really? That's weird! I... I thought it was here... I... Can I look for it by myself?"**_ He asked pretending to be confused; you knew he was pretending so you looked at him serious, raising an eyebrow.

_**"I told you, your hoodie isn't here. Maybe you forgot it somewhere else." **_You said serious. _**"Darren... I know that last night you didn't come here with a hoodie. Why are you lying?"**_ You asked harshly and he sighed and looked down, apparently feeling ashamed or stupid.

_**"I... I'm sorry."**_ He finally said looking down. You didn't say anything, so he looked up to you. _**"I actually forgot something, but it's not my hoodie." **_

_**"Seriously? And may I know what is it?"**_ You asked harshly, raising an eyebrow.

_**"Yeah... I forgot to ask you if you want to go for a coffee?"**_ He asked shyly but looking into your eyes. You didn't answer and you kept looking at him serious and raising an eyebrow. Now he was even more nervous. _**"I guess that it's a no, isn't it?"**_

_**"Yes, it is a no."**_ You answered curtly. Why the hell would he ask you to go for a coffee as if everything between you was good? As if you were friends or something?

_**"Okay, I get it."**_ He said sighing and nodding while looking down and biting his lower lip. _**"Alright... Do you want me... Do you want me to leave?"**_ He asked awkwardly. Why was he asking those things?

_**"Yes."**_ You answered curtly again and he nodded and bit his lower lip again. There was something weird in his eyes.

_**"Fine."**_ He said gloomy and then he looked into your eyes. _**"You... You have something black there..."**_ He said pointing your eyes. Why wasn't he leaving now?

_**"Oh yeah, surely it's charcoal; I've been drawing."**_ You answered and rubbed your eyes again. _**"Well, goodnight, Darren."**_ You said intentionally so maybe he was going to leave.

_**"Yeah, goodnight."**_ He said gloomy and looking into your eyes. _**"Have... have a good night..."**_ He babbled while doing a strange movement, as if he didn't know if he should leave or stay; if he should kiss your cheek or not. You were only looking at him frowning. _**"You won't change your mind about the coffee, will you?" **_

_**"No, I won't."**_ You answered.

_**"Okay, umm... Okay."**_ He said biting his lower lip again. Why was he so nervous? _**"I hope someday we can do that." **_

_**"Yeah, maybe..."**_ You answered now looking away, wishing that he could leave any soon.

_**"Good."**_ He said nodding and looking down. _**"Have a good night."**_

_**"Yes, you too. Bye."**_ You said and you closed the door before he could keep talking.

You stayed there, behind the door. Darren was still there and he stayed there for a while until you heard steps walking away. Then you felt relieved and you came back to your drawing. Why would he ask you to go for a coffee? Why? Has he really showed up here only to ask you that? What was on his mind? Did he really think he could play with you and your feelings as before? No, he needed to understand that you weren't anymore that girl who could be fooled so easily. After a while, you heard someone knocking the door again. Damn, surely was Darren again and it was annoying you. You walked to the door a bit upset and opened it. It was indeed Darren again.

_**"What do you want, Darren?"**_ You asked harshly, looking at him annoyed.

_**"I just wanted to let you know that I'm not gonna stop asking you to go for a coffee until you accept."**_ He said now more confident than before.

_**"Why are you doing this?" **_You asked frowning.

_**"Because I'd like to talk to you."**_ He answered and you looked at him surprised. Yes, you weren't expecting him to say it. _**"So yeah... What do you think if we hang up tomorrow night?"**_

_**"I don't know, Darren."**_ You answered looking away and frowning.

_**"Okay then, tomorrow night I'll be here again to ask you to go for a coffee and will do so every night until you accept my invitation."**_ He said roundly and you looked at him kind of astonished. _**"Now I can really go. Have a good night, Freckles."**_ He said and before you could answer or do something, he kissed your cheek. _**"See you tomorrow."**_

Then he turned around and started walking away as you remained looking at him, still astonished. You couldn't move because what he said and what he did left you speechless and stunned. When he disappeared from your sight, you finally closed the door. Oh well, you didn't know what to think anymore. You just wanted to know why, all of a sudden, he was interested on you again after a year you spent without seeing each other. Which were his real intentions? It was a mystery for you. You only hoped that you could be able to keep in mind all the bad things he has done to you. But you were scared, because, very deep in the bottom of your heart, you still had a slight feeling for him whenever he was close. You didn't want to have that feeling anymore.

* * *

_**"You know what, Jen? I think I screwed it."**_ I said talking to Jen on the phone while eating chip potatoes and reading a script for my course Playwriting II.

_**"What? Darren, minutes earlier you were telling me how much fun you had with her, how well you got along, and how funny she was and blah, blah, blah. And now this?"**_ Jen asked confused.

_**"Yeah, but I don't know, it's as if all of a sudden she stopped being funny and nice to me."**_ I answered.

_**"What have you done or what have you said?"**_ She asked suspiciously.

_**"Why are you all the time thinking that I do and say stupid things all the time and that everything is like my fault?"**_ I asked on the defensive.

_**"Do I need to answer this**_?"

_**"No, don't do it."**_ I replied quickly because I knew what she was going to answer: that it was because I was a hasty and impulsive guy.

_**"So tell me now why she all of a sudden stopped being funny and nice." **_Jen insisted.

_**"Well, yesterday morning we were walking to our respective courses and she mentioned that I was theatrical and dramatic for something minor and I whispered in her ear that she liked it, you know, in a flirty way..." **_I started explained while standing up to get a glass of water.

_**"Have you flirted with her? The first time you saw her after a year?" **_Jen asked serious, as almost scolding me.

_**"Yes, what? Is that wrong now? It's not like I've never flirted with her."**_ I asked on the defensive.

_**"Oh, Darren."**_ Jen sighed. _**"It's not the same than before. It's been a year; you cannot just flirt with her after a year you haven't talked to her."**_

_**"Why not, eh?"**_ I asked defensively.

_**"Because it's different now, you two are different."**_ Jen said while sighing. _**"Listen Darren, there's something you have to know about girls. We're not like you, guys. We don't flirt with someone the first time we see him. Because you and her? It's like the first time you see each other. We don't like it, even though guys think we do. Instead, we think that it's something disrespectful and that you don't take us seriously. When a guy flirts with us the first time that sees us, we think that the guy only wants to get a hook up and isn't interested on getting to know us, our personality and everything. So I understand why Freckles changed her way to be with you."**_

_**"Are you serious, Jen? Oh whoa, girls tend to overthink things, man. Who understands them? If we, guys, flirt with someone is because we find the girl attractive, because she caught our attention."**_ I said frowning, not understanding at all why girls were so weird.

_**"Exactly, Darren. You find the girl attractive; you only see her appearance and not what she truly is. That is why we don't like it; guys are more physical while girls are more emotional. And it's been like that since the prehistory."**_ Jen said quiet.

_**"Okay, okay. So you think I shouldn't have flirted with her?" **_I asked.

_**"Yes, kind of. You can flirt with her Darren, but not in the conventional way of being seductive. Flirt with her by asking her how she's doing, telling her that she looks beautiful, showing interest of knowing more about her, of knowing about her again. Talk to her, make her laugh, be sweet and nice to her, ask her things, listen to her, and invite her to hang out but not as a date. Those are the things you have to do; those are the things that girls like."**_ She admitted.

_**"Yeah well, there's a problem."**_ I replied kind of uncomfortable.

_**"What problem, Darren?" **_

_**"Last night I invited her to go for a coffee. She rejected my invitation and she didn't seem happy to see me; actually, she acted tough on me."**_ I said frowning.

_**"You invited her? Were people around, watching you?"**_ Jen asked curious.

_**"No, it was just me and her." **_

_**"Hmm..."**_ She whispered and then she stayed silent for a while.

_**"That is something bad, right? I can tell when you think something isn't good. Tell me, Jen."**_ I asked eagerly.

_**"Well yes, it's kind of bad. I mean, if you asked her to go out while people were around, maybe she rejected because she was shy and ashamed. But if you asked her to go out while no one was around... Well... Maybe..." **_Jen started replying very uncomfortable.

_**"I know what you try to say. She really didn't want to hang out with me, did she?"**_ I asked cheerless.

_**"No, she didn't want."**_ Jen answered roundly but kind of sad.

_**"Yeah, I kinda had that feeling." **_I answered sighing. _**"Anyway, I told her that I wasn't going to stop insisting until she accepts my invitation." **_

_**"You did what? Oh my god, Darren."**_ Jen exclaimed kind of astonished.

_**"What? Is that also a wrong thing?" **_

_**"Darren, she needs time to set down everything that has happened. I bet it was hard for her to have seen you again, to have talked to you again. Remember why she and you aren't together anymore."**_ Jen said pointedly.

_**"Because Jim is an asshole who forced me to write her that stupid note."**_ I answered angrily.

_**"Exactly. But she doesn't know that Jim was the guilty; she still thinks that you really dumped her because she didn't want to have sex with you. So imagine how she may be feeling now, she surely is a big mess. You have to give her time; she needs time, she needs space. You shouldn't go too fast on her."**_ Jen said softly.

_**"Yeah, I know. I just wanna see her, I wanna talk to her. Jen, I've missed her so fucking much and now she's here... I just can't stop."**_ I said anguished now.

_**"I know, Darren. I know because I know how hard you tried to find her and I know how much it means to you to have seen her again."**_ Jen said feeling pity for me.

_**"So what am I supposed to do now? I can't stay idly seeing how she's around here and I'm doing nothing to be with her. I simply cannot do it."**_ I said huffing.

_**"So do not stay idly, but respect her. You can invite her again to go for a coffee, but if she says no again, respect her and don't feel bad. And when she says no, just smile at her and say 'Well, maybe next time'. Be nice to her even if you are feeling sad."**_ Jen advised me.

_**"Yeah, I guess I can do it." **_

_**"Hey buddy, with whom are you talking?"**_ I heard Joey asking while he was entering the room.

_**"Jen."**_ I answered.

_**"Oh cool, send her my regards."**_ Joey said and went to the bedroom.

_**"Alright, Jenny, I have to hang up. Talk to you later, okay?"**_ I said.

_**"Yes, okay."**_ Jen said and I could see a smile on her face even if I couldn't see her.

_**"I miss you, silly."**_ I said.

_**"Miss you too, goober. Take care, okay?"**_ Jen said and we hung up.

_**"Hey, Darren!" **_Joey yelled. _**"Have you seen my sneakers?"**_

_**"Yeah, I think they're under your bed."**_ I replied and I came back to reading the script.

_**"Oh cool! Here they are!"**_ Joey exclaimed excited. _**"Buddy, do you wanna come with us? We're going to the field to play tennis." **_

_**"Er, no... I don't feel like going out. Maybe next time."**_ I replied listless, trying to concentrate on my script.

_**"What's up buddy? Are you feeling alright?"**_ Joey asked now walking to where I was, looking at me suspiciously.

_**"Yeah, I'm fine."**_ I answered listless again.

_**"I don't think you're fine. You've been acting weird since days."**_ He said still looking at me suspiciously.

_**"Well, I'm fine. I just wanna have a good academic year."**_ I lied.

_**"Oh come on, we just started college and you're already worrying about it? It's not bad to have fun sometimes."**_ Joey insisted.

_**"Well, right now I don't want to play tennis."**_ I said kind of annoyed now.

_**"Come on, you could use some distraction. Even your friend of high school is going, Meredith convinced her." **_Joey said and I looked at him abruptly and exalted.

_**"Is she going?" **_I asked eager.

_**"Yeah, she is going. And maybe it'd be nice if she finds you there because she may feel uncomfortable in middle of people she doesn't know yet."**_ Joey said looking at me curiously and frowning because of the way I suddenly seemed to be interested on what he was saying; so I tried to dissimulate my excitement. _**"So what do you say? Are you coming?"**_

_**"Well, maybe I could go... After all, I could use some kind of distraction as you said."**_ I said trying to sound indifferent but it was hard because I was really excited.

_**"Cool, buddy! Come on, get ready. We're gonna meet there in half an hour."**_ Joey said trying to hurry me up.

I quickly stood up to change my clothes and put on a pair of blue and yellow gym shorts, a go blue t-shirt of Michigan, and a pair of sneakers. Man, I couldn't remember the last time I worn sportswear, but I was satisfied by the way I looked. I was skinnier than in high school and I was even more toned; I wasn't a Joe Walker, but I was fine. I also put on a blue headband because my hair was too bushy and shaggy. I wondered if Freckles would like to see me like this; if she ever thought I looked good now.

_**"Man, you gotta give me that blue headband."**_ Joey said when he saw I was ready.

_**"Maybe some time."**_ I said laughing because he wouldn't stop asking me if I could give it to him.

_**"I keep your word, Criss."**_ Joey said pointing at me and I laughed, shaking my head. _**"Let's go."**_

So Joey and I left the room. I was going to see Freckles again, even if I wouldn't see her alone as I wanted, I was going to see her and that was making me feel excited. Would Freckles know that I was going? What if she didn't know? Well, I was going to respect her as Jen told me, but I was going to try to have fun with her anyway. After all, we were going only to play tennis, no big deal. And as Jen told me, I was going to try not to flirt with her; I was just going to be nice but anyway I was going to let her know that I was interested on being with her; maybe I wasn't going to let her know that I was looking for a love affair yet, but maybe just as friends for now. Geez, I was so excited and eager to see her. When we arrived, Freckles and Meredith were already there, just as Joe Walker, Lauren, Julia and Brian Holden were; so we started walking to there. The first person I saw was Freckles and since then, I couldn't take my eyes off her. She looked really well on sportswear; well, actually she looked sexy. How was that even possible?

_**"Hey bro, your friend is super-hot."**_ Joey said next to me and I turned around to look at him. So it was when I realized that he was looking fixedly at Freckles.

_**"Yeah, she is."**_ I answered, looking at Freckles again and trying to ignore the way Joey was looking at her.

_**"Did she look like this in high school?"**_ Joey asked intrigued.

_**"No, she looks different now."**_ I answered curtly.

_**"Do you mean that she wasn't sexy in high school?" **_

_**"No, that's not what I mean. She looks different as I remember her, but she always was sexy."**_ I answered, remembering how she was in high school and how I loved her curves; curves that she didn't have any longer because she was way too skinny.

_**"How did you do it?"**_ Joey asked apparently stunned.

_**"How did I do what?"**_ I asked confused.

_**"How have you resisted to her? I mean; if I were you, I'd have tried my best to get her."**_ Joey exclaimed and I looked at him frowning.

_**"Yeah, I don't know..."**_ I answered uncomfortable. He still didn't know that Freckles actually was my girlfriend. No one knew yet.

_**"Oh bro, I love Meredith for having introduced her to me."**_ Joey exclaimed while still looking at Freckles fixedly and I looked at him frowning and serious again. I really needed to explain Joey what she meant to me. _**"I think I'm going to ask her out for coffee or something."**_ He said thoughtful and I looked at him even more serious. _**"Would you help me to get her, buddy? I like her."**_ Joey asked and suddenly I felt very edgy and aghast.

_**"I... Well, I... Joey, I don't think she's for you..."**_ I started stammering like an idiot, not knowing how to make him think that going out with her wasn't a viable possibility.

_**"Why not?"**_ He asked curiously, finally looking at me.

_**"Because she's not the girl she seems to be..."**_ I answered.

_**"Well, I could use the coffee as an excuse to get to know her more." **_He said shrugging. I didn't know what to say. _**"Who knows? Maybe we can end up having something; she could be the girl."**_

_**"Joey, she's not the girl."**_ I said roundly and he looked at me astonished.

_**"Why do you say it?" **_

_**"Because I know her."**_ I answered serious, now looking away. I didn't want to talk about this again.

_**"You said she looked different now, so maybe you don't know her anymore."**_ Joey said and I looked at him almost severely. He just told me the same than Jen and he still didn't know who Freckles was. Damn, maybe everybody was right. _**"Maybe I could give it a try; you always tried to convince me to give it a try with a girl; so I'll do it." **_

_**"Yeah, but not with her, Joey!"**_ I exclaimed exasperated and he looked at me even more astonished.

_**"You're acting weird, dude."**_ Joey said stunned after looking at me in silence for a few seconds and I just sighed and looked away.

_**"Whatever..."**_

_**"Hey guys!"**_ Lauren greeted loudly.

So everybody noticed we were there and greeted us kind of euphorically. Well, except Freckles who was standing behind, kind of shy. When all of them already greeted us, Freckles walked to us. She first greeted Joey with a slight hug just as Meredith said she was used to greet people now; and then I was waiting eagerly for her to hug me, the only possible way I could be close to her for now. But she didn't do it. Instead, she placed her hand on my shoulder.

_**"Hi."**_ She greeted softly looking at me as Joey walked away to mock Brian who was wearing a cap in the night.

_**"Hi."**_ I greeted forcing a smile. I really thought she was going to hug me; she hugged everybody but me; it felt rough. But I needed to be friendly and nice to her if I wanted her. _**"How are you?"**_ I asked friendly.

_**"Fine, thanks. And you?"**_ She asked just as friendly as me.

_**"I'm pretty well, taking a break, you know..."**_ I replied shrugging and smiling, trying to be nice.

_**"Yeah, me too."**_ She answered. _**"It's a nice night to take a break."**_

_**"Yeah, it is. It's very nice and warm... Yes."**_ I said smiling like a fool.

_**"Yeah..."**_ She answered nodding and smiling faintly, but looking away. I didn't know what to say anymore.

In the past, we could talk for hours about everything and neither of us would be speechless or wouldn't know what to say anymore; we always had something to talk about, even if it was about the socks we were wearing. Now we were talking about the weather and that was a terrible sign; because when you start talking to someone about the weather, it means that none of them wants really to talk or they feel uncomfortable to talk to the other. It was too tough to be acting as if we were strangers. And what was wrong with me anyway? I was never the shy guy, I was the guy who talked a lot and who was very sociable. Why was acting different with her? In any case, I should act in a more positive way with her, not like a jerk.

_**"So how was your day?"**_ I asked trying to socialize more with her.

_**"Oh, it was pretty well."**_ She answered with a faint smile. She wasn't answering in a chatty way and I wanted to talk to her fluently.

_**"Have you had a new course today?" **_

_**"Yeah, I have." **_

_**"Oh that's cool; it's always great when you have a new course. It's like you're thinking very excited and intrigued 'What would I learn now? How is this course going to be?' It's so cool the excitement you feel when you do a new thing." **_I said smiling brightly, trying to seem sassy.

_**"Yes, it's pretty cool. That's exactly how I felt."**_ She answered curtly. Why was she being so cutting and short-spoken? Couldn't she notice that I was trying hard to strike up a friendly conversation?

_**"Yeah, I figure. You'll see, some of the courses are totally awesome and you'll love them so much to a point that people could call you obsessed; and some of them will be just a pain in the ass that you'll prefer to be on Mars talking to talking animals than being in that course."**_ I said trying to sound funny to amuse her. She finally let out a snicker and I felt good, as if I've accomplished something. _**"So, you never told me what you're studying. May I know?"**_

_**"Oh yeah... I'm planning..."**_ She started saying but she was interrupted.

_**"Hey guys, bring your ass over here! We're already choosing our partners to play!"**_ Joe yelled and Freckles and I looked at him.

_**"Coming!"**_ Freckles yelled cheerfully and ran to there, leaving me there alone with an unanswered question.

I tried to avoid thinking that she was not interested on talking to me and telling me things about her, like what she was studying. Yes, I tried to avoid feeling left out and I tried to be as sprightly as I could, I tried to be peppy as much as I could. I walked to there and I stood next to Joey and Meredith.

_**"Well, I'll be the first choosing..."**_ Joe started saying but he was interrupted.

_**"Hey, that's not fair!"**_ Lauren complained and Joe looked at her frowning. _**"I think we should use a coin or something, so it'll be random choice."**_

_**"Oh please, Lauren, leave that for another time. I want to play already." **_Brian said and Lauren looked at him severely; she didn't like to be contradicted. _**"Just choose someone, Joe." **_

_**"Okay, I'll choose the new girl! Freckles."**_ Joe said looking at Freckles with a huge smile as I looked at him abruptly and stunned. What the hell?

_**"Okay!"**_ Freckles answered with a giggle, walking to him cheerfully. _**"We're gonna rock this game!"**_ She said high-fiving him.

_**"You got that right, girl!"**_ Joe exclaimed looking at her amused and Freckles smiled brightly while they clasped hands and then, before releasing, rubbed their thumbs together two times in rapid succession to end up laughing out loud.

I was like 'What the fuck?' They seemed to be getting along, but since when? They didn't know each other. Why then all of a sudden they seemed to have that kind of buddies relationship? I looked at Joey suspiciously, as trying to find some kind of explanation about this, but he was looking at them just as stunned and confounded as me.

_**"Joey, choose someone!"**_ Joe then exclaimed.

_**"Er... I will... I will choose Lauren."**_ He said thoughtful. Surely he also wanted to choose Freckles, just as I wanted.

_**"Darren? Julia or Meredith?"**_ He asked and I didn't know who to choose.

_**"Umm, Julia."**_ I answered because Julia was one of my closest friends. She smiled friendly and nodded.

_**"Okay, Brian and Mere, you're together."**_ Joe said. _**"We'll play in teams, first two teams; and for those who win have to play with another team until they're beaten and like that successively. Did you get it, ladies?"**_ He asked and everybody nodded.

Then I saw Joe talking enthusiastically to Freckles, as he was teaching Freckles how to play and how to use the tennis racket; as they were laughing and touching slightly their hands and arms. Yeah, I couldn't avoid noticing those silly and innocent touching.

_**"I guess I won't have a chance with her, after all."**_ Joey suddenly said in a whisper. He was also looking at them.

_**"Sorry, Joey."**_ Meredith said also in a whisper. _**"Joe told me he likes her and they wouldn't stop talking and laughing joyfully since they met this morning. They even had lunch together." **_

_**"What?"**_ I suddenly asked, abruptly, feeling aghast.

_**"Yes, Joe invited her for lunch and she accepted immediately. I think she likes him. Well, who doesn't like Joe? He's hot as hell."**_ Meredith replied shrugging, also looking at them.

_**"How do you know it?"**_ I asked curiously.

_**"Because I was there when Joe invited her and because she mentioned me that he was nice and good-looking."**_ Meredith answered indifferent as I felt that ugly pressure on my chest again, but it was something as jealousy this time.

So she didn't want to go for a simple damn coffee with me, a person who she knew for more than two years; but she accepted going for lunch with a guy she just met in the morning. Like, what the hell? Why would she do that? Why would she hang out with my friends and she didn't want to do anything with me? Why would she try to be friends with my friends? And why would she ignore me? Why would she act with a stranger as if they were friends and act as if I was a stranger with me? I was still trying to be nice to her, but there were things I just couldn't understand, like the way she was acting. And she mentioned Meredith that Joe was nice and good-looking. Why would she tell that to Meredith if she knew that it was probable that Meredith was going to tell me so? Could she be doing this on purpose? Could she want to hurt me just as the way I hurt her unintentionally? Did she really think that Joe was like that? Could she be interested on him? Could she have forgotten me at all? I had so many questions, damn. Now I really didn't want to play any stupid game. I came here only to see Freckles and talk to her, but she seemed to be having a damn good time with Joe, clearly forgetting me as if I wasn't there, as if I didn't exist for her. Fuck, I hated this and I wasn't going to deny that I was jealous as hell to the point I was irritated and kind of mad at her, even if she hasn't done anything to me directly. What was the point of staying there if I wouldn't get to talk to her because she didn't even want it?

_**"You don't look like you want to be here."**_ Julia said sitting next to me on a bench.

_**"Yeah, that is because I should be reading a script for tomorrow."**_ I lied.

Joey and Lauren' team was playing with Joe and Freckles' team right now; and I was observing them. No, actually I was only watching how Freckles was playing and laughing, as if she was very entertained. I was seeing how Freckles and Joe were so close, how they celebrated each victory with a high-five or a hug or shaking hands. I was seeing how Freckles was being really happy. Maybe she was happier without me and I was just a bothersome. Man, I needed Jen and her wise words right now, I needed an advice of what I should do; if I should try to get her or if I should let her go her own way to be happy. Everything was less complicated when we were together or even when we were apart; but this thing of being around but not knowing what we exactly were, that was complicated. Still, I preferred to have that complication than not having her at all. I wasn't in a good mood and that was weird, so that was why Julia was now looking at me suspiciously.

_**"It's not because you should be reading that script, is it?"**_ She asked looking at me and then looking at Freckles. I always thought that Julia and Jen weren't so different in some aspects. And this thing of noticing what was on my mind was one of the things they had in common.

_**"No, it's not."**_ I finally answered sighing, telling the truth; because I knew she was going to react as Jen in this situation if I dared to lie.

_**"So why is it then?"**_ Julia asked softly, looking deeply into my eyes.

_**"I really don't wanna talk about it."**_ I answered politely, looking at Freckles again who was now being tickled by Joe. I was feeling very impotent.

_**"You also like her, don't you?"**_ She asked and I looked at her frowning. Should I answer her?

_**"Yeah..."**_ I whispered.

_**"I thought so. It seems that everyone likes her, maybe is the cheerfulness, gentleness and beauty she radiates."**_ Julia said looking at her while Freckles was laughing. Yes, she definitely could radiate that, she was wonderful. _**"And is for that you don't wanna be here?"**_

_**"Why wouldn't I want to be in the same place than she is, if she radiates all of that? Who wouldn't want to be in her presence?"**_ I asked in a whisper and sighing, not realizing that Julia heard me. She was looking deeply into my eyes in silence and when I noticed she was doing this, I started feeling a bit uncomfortable.

_**"She wasn't only your peer in high school, was she?"**_ She asked softly.

I looked at her aghast as my heart skipped a beat and I started feeling nervous. Why the hell was she asking that? Could she have noticed something? She was looking at me in the same way, as if she was trying to find the answer in my eyes; so I quickly looked away because I didn't want to answer. But my sight focused on Freckles who was hugging Joe and I felt jealous again, so I couldn't take my eyes off her.

_**"No, she wasn't."**_ I answered without even noticing I was answered.

I only answered because I was feeling jealous and I didn't like to see Freckles so close to Joe. Joe was my friend and he was one of my best friends and it wasn't that I didn't like to see Joe and Freckles getting along; but in this circumstance, it didn't seem right. Not because I didn't like to see them laughing or hugging, because I was used to do it with my female friends too; but because of the fact that Freckles didn't look at me in any moment, she didn't know I was looking at her, she didn't know that I wanted her, that I still loved her; she didn't know and she didn't care. That was what I didn't like.

_**"Who was she?"**_ Julia asked now intrigued.

_**"My girlfriend."**_ I answered now looking down.

_**"Your girlfriend? Oh gosh."**_ Julia exclaimed surprised and stunned. _**"Does anybody know about it?"**_

_**"No. And please, don't tell anybody, I shouldn't have told you it."**_ I whispered looking fixedly at her.

_**"You can trust me, Darren. But why don't you want anybody to know?"**_ She asked intrigued.

_**"Because no; just because I don't want and because she doesn't want either. It is fine this way."**_ I replied, still looking down. _**"We're just strangers who went at the same high school."**_ I exclaimed bitterly and she noticed this.

_**"And you're still in love with her."**_ She said as a statement, but also kind of wondering.

_**"Doesn't matter, it's pointless."**_ I answered monotonous. _**"I think I'll come back to my room, I really need to read that script. Sorry." **_I said and then I stood up; but Julia stopped me.

_**"If you're still in love with her, I think you should stay." **_She said looking at me fixedly.

_**"And what would be the point of staying here? She doesn't even care if I stay or not. She doesn't care of anything about me. And I really don't wanna stay while she epically ignores me and while she fools around and has fun with everybody but me. I can't bear that."**_ I exclaimed bitterly and a bit harsh, so then I sighed and softened my voice. _**"It's a long story, Julia." **_

_**"Do you wanna go for a walk? Maybe you could tell me and let out all that you're feeling. And besides, I don't feel like playing tennis either." **_She said shrugging.

I hesitated for a while. Maybe it could be good if I tell someone everything, because Jen wasn't going to be able to guide me always, because she also had her own complications. And Julia was so much like Jen, maybe she could be my Jen in college. I nodded and then we started walking away from there. Of course, no one noticed; not that I was expecting that, because everybody was having fun. So I dared and I told her it all; and she listened to me all the time in a very compressive way. She didn't say much, but she listened and that was what I needed.

_**"I can't tell you what to do, Darren; that is something only you have to decide. I can't tell you what the best for you is, because only you know what that is. It's funny, because we never know what to do when something happens or when we have to choose; but inside, within our hearts, we're always hoping for one particular option. Just do that you're wishing to do."**_ Julia said kindly.

_**"And what if what I want to do is to hold her in my arms and kiss her? What if what I want to do is to tell her that I love her and never stopped loving her?"**_ I asked kind of distressed and Julia remained silent. _**"I can't do it, even if I want. Because there's a line between what I want and what is correct, and that dividing line is when my freedom ends and begins the respect for her."**_

_**"Well, you're right about that and I agree. If you can't do it, then try to get to it. Try to get to the point in which that dividing line disappears because you both want the same."**_

_**"It's not that easy." **_

_**"Of course it's not easy. But it either wasn't easy when you admitted your real feelings for her the very first time; but you finally did and then you became a couple."**_ She said smiling slightly and looking deeply at me. She had a point. _**"Surely you'd want to come back and show her this place before everybody returns to their respective rooms."**_ She said smiling mysteriously.

_**"Why would I do that?"**_ I asked confused.

_**"Oh well, look at the sky. It's wonderful and so starry. You told me she loves nights like this." **_She said smiling amused and I chuckled softly.

_**"Yeah, maybe it could be a good idea."**_

_**"So what are we waiting for? Let's go for her."**_ Julia exclaimed encouragingly.

And so we walked our way back to where everybody was playing and having fun. Now, I had a renewed positivism; thanks to Julia. At the end, it was good to have told her this, because now I was going to have a female perspective about things and she could advise me what to do with Freckles; and also because I felt more free now. She supported me and maybe that was what I needed all this time; someone to support my decisions, someone to tell me that I was doing the right thing and that I wasn't going to do a stupid nonsense thing. Hell yeah, I could do this with Freckles. I only had to be myself, as the guy I was now. When we arrived, no one was playing anymore. They were sitting on the grass, just talking. And Freckles was sitting right next to Joe, but not so close, to my relief.

_**"And who has won?"**_ I asked cheerfully while still walking to there.

_**"Who do you think who could have won?" **_Brian said frowning. He didn't like to lose and he was kind of moody, so surely he wasn't the one who won.

_**"I don't know."**_ I replied shrugging, still walking next to Julia.

_**"Oh wait, wait! Darren doesn't know! How weird is that?"**_ Lauren exclaimed ironically and amused and I laughed. They always joked about that whenever, that was too often, I answered I don't know. _**"Someone tell him who won."**_

_**"Joe and Freckles won, duh."**_ Joey said.

_**"Oh, congratulations guys."**_ I said friendly looking at Joe and then at Freckles; so that my sight focused on her.

_**"Thanks, bro. It was pretty hard, but we got it. Yeah!"**_ Joe exclaimed excited. Freckles only smiled slightly.

_**"Yeah, you won because you cheated!"**_ Brian exclaimed loudly, looking at them.

_**"We did not!"**_ Freckles exclaimed quickly with a giggle.

_**"You said you couldn't play tennis, so then Joe chose you because he can do it pretty well; but it turns out that you were the best at playing it. That's sort of cheating, I guess."**_ Meredith said shrugging and quiet.

_**"I really can't play tennis. It was just beginner's luck." **_Freckles said shrugging with her adorable smile.

_**"Beginner's luck my ass."**_ Brian exclaimed. _**"I'll let it pass only because you're the new here... But you, Joe Skywalker... You are not safe..."**_

_**"Whoa, chill out, guys!"**_ I said laughing because I knew this was the way they were used to joke, but Freckles still didn't know it and maybe she could be thinking that they were really mad.

_**"Chilling out is boring. I challenge you to a duel, instead."**_ Freckles said mischievously looking at Brian and I looked at her stunned as everybody did.

_**"Hey, I like you. Hey Darren, you never told us that she's like us! That's so cool!"**_ Brian exclaimed loudly looking at Freckles and then looking at me. Well, I didn't know it, that's why I never said it.

_**"Darren doesn't know me pretty well."**_ Freckles answered shrugging.

Jeez, her words really hurt me. Did she really have to say it? Julia, next to me, looked at me surreptitiously and then she looked down. She wanted to play like this? Well, I was going to play like that, then. I wouldn't feel bad again; instead, I was going to take this as a joke or game.

_**"Oh yeah? I think I know you pretty well. I challenge you to prove me wrong."**_ I said also smiling mischievously, looking at her fixedly. She wasn't expecting this answer because she was now looking at me with eyes wide open.

_**"I accept the challenge."**_ She said defiant, raising an eyebrow as everybody was looking at us amused and expectant to see this. _**"What's my favorite color?"**_

_**"Blue."**_

_**"Yes. My favorite food?"**_

_**"Lasagna."**_

_**"Yes. My favorite place in the world?"**_

_**"You don't have a specific place in the world; you just love being in places where you feel happy, regardless if it could be in a very paradisiac and exotic place or if it could be in a dirty lonely alleyway. You don't care about it; you give more weight to the important things in life."**_

_**"Yeah... And what are for me the important things in life?"**_

_**"Love, friendship, family, happiness, humility, solidarity and knowledge."**_

_**"Okay, yes, quite certain. What is my motto life?" **_

_**"Don't do unto others what you don't want them to do to you. That or you'll surely quote Disney by saying 'If you can dream it, you can do it.' Those are only two of the many you have." **_

_**"Yes, accurate. What's my favorite movie?"**_

_**"A Clockwork Orange."**_

_**"Why?"**_ She asked very defiant. I knew she was getting a bit annoyed because I was answering it all. The truth was that I knew her more than she thought.

_**"Because it features disturbing, violent images, facilitating its social commentary on psychiatry, youth gangs, and other social, political, and economic subjects in a dystopian, future Britain and because it includes classical music such as Beethoven, who you admire. And most importantly, because the film's central moral question is the definition of 'goodness' and whether it makes sense to use aversion therapy to stop immoral behavior; considering the use of aversion therapy as the new weapon for a totalitarian government to use to impose vast controls on its citizens and turn them into little more than robots. I'm just quoting your words right now."**_ I answered with an amused smile, looking fixedly at her as she was looking at me serious and everybody was looking at me puzzled and agape; because for them, Freckles was only my fellow in high school.

_**"You answered it perfectly."**_ Freckles said looking at me piercingly into my eyes and serious. She was now feeling really annoyed because of the way she couldn't prove me wrong. So then she raised an eyebrow and looked at me coldly and defiant. _**"Who was my first?"**_

When she asked that I looked deeply into her eyes, expressionless; I didn't want to show her that her last question was heartbreaking to me, that it actually hurt my feelings. She did not need to ask a question like that and less in front of many of my friends. It was just a sort of game what we were playing and she turned it into a hurtful thing. Because I knew she was aware that the question was provocative and its only point was to make me feel bad. I couldn't believe she did something like that; she was not that kind of person who really meant to hurt somebody, and she just did. Maybe she was right, maybe I didn't know her pretty well. Crazy how someone can change in a matter of a year.

_**"I don't know."**_ I answered darkly. _**"Congrats, you got what you wanted, you proved me wrong."**_ I said coldly and she looked away, serious. Everybody else looked at us confused.

_**"Oh, wow. Just wow."**_ Meredith exclaimed surprised.

_**"Are you fucking kidding? You answered everything except the last question, man."**_ Joey exclaimed stunned, looking at us with eyes wide open. _**"You guys told us that you were only acquaintances in high school."**_

_**"Acquaintances my ass!" **_Joe exclaimed also stunned. _**"You guys seem to know each other pretty well."**_

_**"Yeah, that's right. And the way you answered everything so quickly and so correctly, as if you Darren knew her like the back of your hand."**_ Lauren said, also surprised.

_**"Why do you, Darren, know everything about her?"**_ Brian asked curiously.

While they all were opining about us, me and Freckles were only staring each other very deeply into each other's eyes. This was our strongest eye contact since I saw her again. But it wasn't a great eye contact as the ones we used to have in high school, when everything between us was love. Oh no, this was different. I was looking at her coldly and she was looking at me defiant. It was something very different than love.

_**"Darren doesn't know everything about me. He only knows what I used to be."**_ Freckles said harshly, looking at me fixedly.

_**"That is right. I don't know you anymore.**_ _**Sometimes you have to know someone really well to realize you were actually strangers."**_ I said looking at her as she finally looked away. Now everybody was looking at us very bewildered. I only sighed. _**"It's late and I should be reading a script for tomorrow; so I'll see you around guys."**_

And like that, I walked away from them; I walked away from Freckles, that girl that I used to know. Now I finally understood that I didn't know her; now I finally understood why she treated me like a stranger: because we were indeed two strangers who accidentally met. She was nothing as the girl I knew. Or at least, she wasn't this cruel when I used to know her. But, even if I was aware that she wasn't the same girl with whom I fell so deeply in love; I felt a huge anguish on my chest when I finally walked away from her knowing that from this day on I was going to forget her.


	34. The last verses that I write for her

A/N: Hi beautiful people! How are you all doing? I'm just here, posting a new chapter as I promised! You didn't have to wait so much, did you? I do not have much to say (weird!), only that the roses are red, violets are blue; honey is sweet, but not as sweet as you. Yes, I'm very lazy lately! So I'll just start replying your reviews!

alicegursk: I don't wanna make you cry my awesome wife! Please forgive me! My brain did it all, that sneaky devil brain! Oh, but they will talk! Only that not now. Or maybe yes? For me they're real, they are not fictional characters! Who said they were fictional characters? Who? Okay, I'm silly mode, as you can notice. They are fictional characters, otherwise I'd be jailed because, you know, all that stuff of copyright or whatever. Come What May! Ah! It was so wonderful! I loved their voices and the whole performance, it was just so cute! The only thing I didn't understand was the 'Automa' sign. Why Automa? Well, do you wanna know a curious thing? I always write what you all want or wish. You want Freckles and Darren sing 'Come What May'? Maybe I could do it. I always try to read carefully what you'd wish and write about it; it's like, I don't know, as my way to let you know that I do really care about what you say and to make you feel as 'hey! I helped to write that somehow!'. I do it! So maybe your wish will be granted! Love you and receiving your awesomeness!

MeMi83: Thank you MeMi! I know it's heartbreaking what happens in between, but it's all a process! Freckles wouldn't forgive Darren so easily and Darren wouldn't talk to her so easily because of her attitude. Or maybe yes, I don't know! I do know, actually; because I already wrote it. And I'm very glad that it made you feel glad that I updated earlier! Maybe if I stop being so lazy, I'd be able to update twice a week and you'd be able to read something during the week; but if I keep being like this, it'll be impossible! I'm really lazy lately and I haven't written anything at all! Shame on me! Hopefully the inspiration and time will come magically again!

AnSofiekeeeh: Thank you, An Sofie, for reviewing and for reading this story and all of my stories! I'm super happy to know that you like my silly stories! It's always good to know that there are people out there reading my stories and liking them, despite all the drama I write! I really wish you can keep reading this story, even if you don't review; and I really wish you can still like it! I'll try to not disappoint you but if I ever do it, just kick my ass! You may or may not get cute fluff things! Who am I kidding? You'll get that, but you'll also get angst as always! I cannot help it, I'm a drama queen! I'm pretty sure that something that happened in my childhood affected my brain forever, I'm still trying to find out what it is. Sorry, silly mode!

Kaylacriss332: The response for your question is: Because I'm a cruel devil (in the muggle language) who wants to spread drama and angst all over the world! Sometimes I want them together, sometimes not; in the meantime you'll have to deal with the mess in my mind. Isn't it great? No? I thought so. Actually I have already it all planned, even the end of the ends of this story! But it's a huge process till get there. Forever twisting things and feelings!

amritsoomal: I'm really glad that wasn't all you had to say and also I'm glad to know that nothing can shut you up, because I'm chatty myself so this could work! Freckles is an outrageous, terrible and evil person! But maybe there's something behind of all of this, who knows? Could she have a reason to act in this cruel way? I'll be like Darren right now and I'll say 'I don't know!'. But actually I do know because I've already written about it! Again, I'll be like Darren and I'll say 'Yeah I know, but I ain't telling you a shit, son!'. Okay, enough! I also hate the fact that she's hurting Darren while all that Darren wants is to talk to her. But things will happen! That's why here's another chapter! And Darren is gonna be a happy bunny as you want! Eventually. Option 8 was the best option, so I'm proud of your choice; I could use some bacons right now! Yummy!

MrsDarrenCriss3: Aww thanks for saying that! And you're very welcome, it was just a humble virtual gift! Next year I'll try to get you a Darren Criss, who knows? Maybe I get that. I really hope you could have a totally awesome birthday! Despite the awful chapter that the last one was. Do you really think that Darren won't forget Freckles? You know I have a twisted mind, so the possibilities of that happening are just as much as the possibilities of not happening. One chapter can change everything, or not!

caarolineboeira1: I love whenever you start writing your emotions, as if you were just writing down everything that pops in your mind at the same time you're feeling things, maybe without thinking! It's just too awesome! Darren is very hurt, I think; maybe the best for him is just to forget her and start living his life to be less hurt; or maybe the best for him is to take action. I don't know! About Freckles and Joe; well, remember there's also Joey! Oh! Would something happen between Freckles and any of Darren's friends? I don't know! I'm starting to think that I don't know anything at all. Maybe Freckles doesn't belong to Darren anymore or maybe yes. Be or not to be, that's the question. I should stop. I've already wrote a note to remember your birthday (I have a terrible memory), so that day I'll post a chapter, but the thing is that your birthday is on a Saturday! Maybe it's gonna be another kind of present! I have time to think!

Vcriss: You've created an account on FanFiction! The good thing is that you didn't have to wait so long for a new chapter! Okay, I really haven't thought about writing when Darren auditions for Glee, but I do think that's very interesting! So I may be writing about it, it's a good idea. I always like when you tell your ideas and wishes about what I could write; I always write them on a note so then I could write about it and make you feel as if you're also part of this story, like you are part of that idea that I wrote. Of course if I write about Darren auditioning for Glee I'll mention you as the one who asked me or gave me the idea!

Guest: Yes, it was an unexpected update and now you're getting another update! They'll talk for sure, that's granted. Maybe in this chapter they're gonna talk, or maybe not; maybe in the next one or maybe after 3, 4, or 5 chapters! But they will talk, so don't you worry! About Freckles loving him... Let's see what she feels after or before the talk! I'd really like to give you two chapters a week, but it's kinda hard! If I stop being lazy and inspiration comes to me and I get to write more chapters, I think I'll do it. But for now I think it's almost impossible because it'll come a point in which you'll get a hiatus because I have nothing written! How long do I plan to make this story? Very long. If I had to say an average, I'd say that it'll have 90 chapters, 30 for each part (high school, college, professional life). So yes, most probably I'll spend all year long writing this story! So the happy ending won't come so fast! But you'll get happy parts before the happy ending! I'm a game master! But I do really think that I'm like a terrible boss, I think I could never be the boss of anybody, I'd suck! I'm not a little bit cruel, I'm totally cruel! I know exactly what you all want and I know exactly that it's not Freckles/Joe, neither Freckles/Joey, neither Darren/Kelly. But they are exploring! Ah! The love for fictional characters! Do not wonder it too much, just enjoy it! I also love fictional characters and I always ship them so hard that for me are real! And guess what? I don't regret anything! Sorry I'm not sorry, people! haha.

SamCWMHolmes: You're totally forgiven and in any case you shouldn't apologize and I should cheer you. Ah! Come What May! I completely loved it and trust me, I cried. I couldn't help it, it was very emotional. But why the fuck did it have to be a fantasy? Not fair! I've watched that video! Darren is such a dork asshole! Like, why? Why? See? He's totally awesome and I'm too weird to love dork guys, they're my weak spot. As far as I know you, I could totally picture you warming up like him; making those faces and those sounds. And I'm laughing! Weirdness is like the best thing ever! So don't feel bad if I compare you to him, because actually it's like a compliment if it comes out from my mouth! Screw bullying! I knew you were going to love Joe playing tennis. Imagine him sweating, making sexy faces and sounds while running and being concentrated on winning the game, drinking water and spilling it on his shirt. Are your ovaries gonna explode again? Maybe it's accurate to say 'Boom! Pregnant'. Yes, I'm a sweet devil. And yes! I know! Freckles was truly mean, very cruel and for sure it was unnecessary to have said that. She truly changed; maybe she's not gonna be a nice person now; or maybe she is but now her mind is a mess; or maybe she is just a devil that took over her body, pretending to be the real Freckles. Who knows? I know, but I ain't telling a shit! (quoting Darren). Have you already sent the application? Ah! Oh my wizard God! (fangirling mode) You really have to let me know when you get a response! And wait wait wait, are you applying for the Theatre&Drama program as Darren? I do not have patience, I shouldn't be studying this. Ha! Actually architecture taught me how to be patient and how to sleep only 4 hours a day every fucking day and how to spend the 90% of my life (5 years to be precise) only studying, drawing, investigating, and shit. But I'm in love with architecture. So at the end of this year, if I'm lucky and everything goes well, you'll be able to call me Architect Lucy. Maybe I'll write a book someday, but it'll be about architecture and you'll get bored and think 'this is pure shit!' haha. For now, I'll be here, only on FanFiction writing about Darren. Ah! How can you be so sure that Mia will appear? Maybe you can read my mind. My love for you, my Sherlock!

nicole: Sometimes I love the evolution of technology! And this is the case. They need to get it, come on! And don't worry about Rumbleroar's cubs' ears! We'll totally get him earmuffs and he will love them! I'll definitely prepare a suitcase full of RedVines and starkid stuff, just in case! It'll be like an unforgettable trip! Pigfarts, here I go! I honestly loved Come What May! It was the best of the episode besides Shout and Darren dancing; everything else it was just pointless for me. I loved the performance, I loved the scenery, I loved their voices, I loved the flashbacks, I loved everything! Well, except the fact that it was only a fantasy and the fact that I didn't understand why there was a 'Automat' sign. I like Adam, but I definitely don't want him to be with Kurt. Damn, it's exasperating! I want Klaine, they're the mean reason I watch Glee. You can be sure about Jim! He's just... weird. I won't tell you in which way, but he is weird. You didn't have to wait so much for the next chapter! That's good I think! I liked writing the part of Darren and Julia! And I liked writing how Darren knew everything (almost everything) about Freckles! Like, 'ha! take that, Freckles! I do know you!'.

Well, that was all, guys! I was sleepy while writing the responses, so if you find nonsense things; blame it on my sleepy mode! Now I'll let you read this new chapter and I wish you can enjoy it! Thank you very much for all your support! Warm fuzzies, pink flowers and novelty sized bananas for you all! Until next Saturday!

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**Teenage Dream – Chapter 34 – The last verses that I write for her.**

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_**"What the hell was all of that, buddy?"**_ Joey exclaimed really confused when he came back to our room after playing tennis. I was about to answer 'nothing' but he interrupted me. _**"And do not tell me that it was nothing because I won't believe that shit. What the hell is going here, Darren?" **_

_**"Calm your tits, Joey."**_ I said covering my face with the pillow. Yeah, I was already in bed because I really wanted to start a new day and forget about the shit that happened hours ago. _**"I'm trying to sleep."**_

_**"Fuck that, you won't sleep until you explain me what the hell happened out there."**_ He said bossy, taking my pillow and throwing it away.

_**"Geez! I didn't know you were my crazy, obsessive, distrustful and overprotective girlfriend, Joey!"**_ I exclaimed in disbelief, looking at him with eyes wide open. _**"At least you could kiss me if you're gonna get all bitchy on me." **_

_**"Yeah, I'll kiss your ass if you want; but now tell me everything, Darren."**_ Joey said serious. Whoa! I've never seen him like this. _**"I thought we were buddies, man."**_

_**"What the fuck, Joey? We're buddies. What is wrong with you? Why are you being like this?"**_ I asked looking at him confused. He really wasn't like this.

_**"I'm being like this because I saw that shit that happened out there and I know that there's something that you aren't saying. And I really thought that we were buddies, but man, it seems it's not like that, otherwise you'd have told me the hell is happening."**_ He said kind of mad and kind of disappointed of me.

_**"What?"**_ I exclaimed in disbelief. _**"Man, what are you saying? What do you want me to tell you, eh? Noth..."**_

_**"Do not say nothing, Criss!"**_ He warned, looking at me fixedly and pointing me.

_**"Alright, alright! There's something I haven't told you, yeah..."**_ I said looking away, frowning.

_**"I knew it!"**_ He exclaimed loudly, and almost victoriously.

_**"Yeah... And if I haven't told you yet, it was because it's a long story and not because you're not my buddy."**_ I explained.

_**"I have time to hear that story." **_He said sitting on the floor, right next to my bed.

_**"Not now, I'm really trying to sleep, Joey."**_ I complained.

_**"Tell me now, Darren."**_ He said kinda bossy.

_**"Fine... You want to know?"**_

_**"I thought it was obvious, dude." **_

_**"Good, then..."**_ I said getting up as he was looking at me like 'what the hell are you doing?' _**"First of all, you have to see something..."**_ I said while I walked right to my closet and pulled out the box that I found days ago. _**"Here, open it."**_ I said handing him the box.

_**"What is this?"**_ He asked confused and suspiciously.

_**"You wanted to know what was going on. Well, just open it and see everything that's in there."**_ I said insistent, sitting on my bed again.

Well, finally Joey opened it and started pulling out all the things that were inside. I was just looking at him in silence and he looked at me several times, frowning as if he wanted some kind of explanation, but I didn't say anything at all; I just let him seeing it all quiet. I let him see and read all the notes and letters that Freckles sent me; I let him see all the stupid material things I had that were meaningful to me because reminded me to Freckles; and I let him see all the few pictures I had with Freckles. When he saw the picture I had with Freckles, that picture of us when I sang her for the first time the song I wrote for her, 'the coolest girl'; I looked at that picture with him. I truly loved that picture because it always could bring me good memories, but this time I couldn't feel good. I just looked down while Joey looked at me astonished, showing me that picture.

_**"Is this Freckles?"**_ He asked very confused.

_**"Yeah, that's her."**_ I answered.

_**"Geez man, she looks different now."**_ He exclaimed very low.

_**"Yeah, she does."**_ I agreed. Hell yeah, she looked different. She was skinnier, she had very short hair now, she was wearing a different type of clothes now, and she was used to wear make-up now.

_**"Why do you have a picture like this with her, man? You said you were only acquaintances. Wipe my ass; this doesn't look like only a fellow's relationship."**_ Joey exclaimed loudly, very confused, looking at the picture.

_**"That's because she wasn't only my fellow."**_ I answered quietly and he looked at me abruptly.

_**"Then what the hell were you?"**_ He asked suspiciously.

_**"She was my best friend."**_ I answered honestly, looking at him._** "And she was my first and only real love. Yeah, she was my girlfriend." **_

_**"What the fuck buddy?"**_ He asked really amazed and stunned, looking fixedly at me and I only shrugged. Then he looked away, frowning. _**"Why the hell haven't you told me anything about this?" **_

_**"I think I wasn't ready yet."**_ I answered sighing; now looking at the picture again. _**"What we had... It was the best I've ever had and since her, I couldn't love anyone else. But things between us didn't go well, and I still couldn't deal with the fact we weren't together anymore; I refused to believe it. I couldn't just tell you this because I was trying to be fine and I didn't want to remember why we weren't together anymore. That is why I haven't told you anything. Sorry." **_

_**"Darren, what the fuck? Oh damn, man! All this time I was asking you to help me to get her and you... Shit, man." **_Joey exclaimed kind of terrified.

_**"It's alright, man. It's not your fault; you didn't know that she is... she was my girlfriend. It's alright." **_I said looking away.

_**"Oh man, now I understand it all. Now I get why the first time you saw her you were like stunned... Now I get why you were acting weird, why you wanted to be wherever she was, why you acted weird with her and why she acted weird with you... Now I get that shit game of questions and answers you played hours ago. Oh damn shit."**_ He exclaimed still stunned, but also kind of thoughtful. _**"Was she your first, dude?"**_

_**"I... No, she wasn't. My first was Kelly."**_ I answered frowning and looking down, now feeling kind of embarrassed.

_**"Kelly? Really? Oh shit... Man! Now I get it!"**_ He exclaimed loudly and almost as hyper as if he has found something new. _**"Now I get why she asked you in a cold way if you knew who her first was! Now I get why you then ended up in a bad way! Man, what the hell." **_

_**"Yeah..."**_ I answered bitterly, looking away.

_**"Buddy, do you still love her or something?"**_ He asked intrigued, he was very curious and exalted.

_**"I... Well... Well, when I first saw her here, yeah; I was still in love with her. I never stopped loving her, that's why I couldn't have a serious love affair with anybody... But... But it's different now..."**_ I answered very uncomfortable and not sure about anything. Joey was looking at me frowning as if he wasn't understanding anything at all, so I sighed. _**"I think you should know everything that happened between Freckles and I, so maybe you could understand. Just promise me that you won't tell anybody, man." **_

_**"Yeah, yeah, I promise."**_ He answered very eager.

Just as I told Julia, I told everything to Joey. He wouldn't stop looking at me aghast and perplexed and he would say some comments or questions; but he listened to me intently. I still wasn't sure if I should have told him everything or not; but I did it because this was going to be the end of a stage to start a new one.

_**"Fuck, dude."**_ He exclaimed once I told him every single thing about me and Freckles and how we didn't see each other for a year. _**"And now what?"**_

_**"Now what, what?"**_ I asked kind of confused.

_**"What are you gonna do with her?"**_ He asked.

_**"Nothing."**_ I answered, looking away.

_**"Really?" **_

_**"Yeah, really." **_

_**"And how do you feel, then?" **_

_**"Well, half of life is fucking up; the other half is dealing with it." **_I exclaimed laughing bitterly.

_**"Whoa, so positive… So very Darren Criss." **_He said ironically. Yes, I was never like this.

_**"Yeah, meet my dark side."**_ I said laughing softly. I really wanted to get in a better mood.

_**"It's kind of scary, I must say."**_ Joey said raising an eyebrow. _**"Now would you tell me what you really feel for her?" **_

_**"No... I'll let you read it..."**_ I said, pulling out a crumpled paper that I had in my pocket, handing it to him. _**"I wrote it... just when I came back here hours ago." **_

_**"What is this?"**_ He asked, grabbing the paper.

_**"Just read it, Joey."**_ I said roundly. And he read it loudly.

"**I can write the saddest lines tonight.**

**Write, for instance: 'The night is starry**

**and shiver, blue, those stars, in the distance.'**

**The night wind revolves in the sky and sings.**

**I can write the saddest lines tonight.**

**I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.**

**On nights like this I held her in my arms.**

**I kissed her again and again under the endless sky.**

**She loved me, sometimes I loved her too.**

**How to not have loved her big still eyes?**

**I can write the saddest lines tonight.**

**To think that I don't have her. Feel that I have lost her.**

**To hear the immense night, more immense without her.**

**And the verse falls to the soul like dew on the grass.**

**Does it matter that my love couldn't keep her?**

**The night is shattered and she is not with me.**

**That's it. In the distance someone is singing. In the distance.**

**My soul is lost without her.**

**As if to bring her closer, my eyes search her.**

**My heart looks for her, and she is not with me.**

**The same night whitening the same trees.**

**We, of that time, are no longer the same.**

**I no longer love her, true, but how I loved her.**

**My voice searched the wind to touch her hearing.**

**Someone else. She would belong to someone else. As before my kisses.**

**Her voice, her bright body. Her endless eyes.**

**I no longer love her, true, but maybe I love her.**

**Love is so short, and forgetting is so long.**

**Because on nights like this I held her in my arms,**

**my soul is lost without her.**

**Though this might be the last pain she causes me,**

**and these the last verses that I write for her."**

_**"Whoa! I didn't know you were a poet, Darren."**_ He exclaimed impressed as soon as he finished reading what I wrote.

_**"I'm totally not... I don't know, those words just came out. Like it was something I had the need to do."**_ I answered sincerely.

_**"You know, this is really sad, man. I don't know... It's something actually nice, but sad..." **_Joey said awkwardly. I knew he was kind of speechless, he didn't know what to say.

_**"Yeah, well. The point is that... well..."**_ I started stammering like an idiot, because I didn't know how to explain how I was really feeling. I took a deep breath before talking again. _**"Well, truth is that I feel almost happy, almost cheerful as someone who gets tired of being sad."**_ I admitted looking down and biting my lower lip. _**"I don't know any more if I'm sad to joyful vocation, or vice versa. What I do know is that there is always some sadness in my happiest moments, like there's always a little joy in my worst days." **_I said shrugging while Joey was looking at me fixedly in silence. _**"And, you know, no matter what I do, I always have this sense of being... I don't know, incomplete? Like I'm looking for something and no matter how many changes and adjustments I make, I never quite get there. Once in a while I'll have a minute or two where I don't feel that way. But most of the time, I feel a little bit empty. Not like I'm depressed or something, just..."**_ I started saying very awkwardly, because it was being hard to find the words.

_**"Searching... But you never get there."**_ Joey finished the sentence for me, when he noticed I didn't know how to say it.

_**"No, I never do. It's frustrating."**_ I said frowning and kind of annoyed with myself.

_**"That's because we think at some point we'll be able to stop working at life. As long as we think that, we're always going to feel incomplete. The secret is to make peace with the fact that you'll always feel incomplete."**_ Joey said and I looked at him amazed. Since when could he say things like that? Joey was the kind of guy who was always joking, so this was weird to hear from him.

_**"Well, yeah, I don't wanna feel like that."**_ I said looking away. _**"Damn, Joey. I just can't feel like that and it's kind of exasperating to try to think about something else when she keeps popping in mind all the fucking time. It is maddening the fact that I still feel something for her and she doesn't want to see me or to talk to me. It's kind of exasperating the fact that she thinks I left her because she didn't want to have sex with me, when the truth is that I fucking love her and I always did. I'm desperate, man."**_

_**"You know, Darren? The biggest mistake you can make is to succumb to despair, all other errors can be repaired, this one not. So, first of all, you should calm down."**_ Joey said looking at me very serious and I looked at him agape, frowning. _**"Now tell me, without even thinking, why you still love her, even if she has changed. Tell me now, without thinking."**_

_**"Well, because she's a mess of gorgeous and chaos, and you can see it in her eyes." **_I said without thinking, just as Joey said.

_**"I see... And what do you want right now?" **_

_**"I just want to forget her, Joey. I need to forget her."**_ I said gloomy, looking down.

_**"If there's something that doesn't exist is the forgotten."**_ Joey said and I looked at him kind of thunderstruck.

_**"Oh geez, thanks, bro, for your very supportive words."**_ I exclaimed sarcastically, raising an eyebrow.

_**"I'm your friend, man. Friends are supposed to tell the ugly truth."**_ Joey said shrugging and I looked at him frowning, kind of annoyed. Women were meeker to tell the truth. _**"Why would you want to forget her, Darren? That girl is important to you, so why would you forget her?"**_

_**"Because we aren't the same, Joey. Because I can't be here like an idiot, waiting for her to notice me while she is nice to others but me. I can't be like that, feeling bad all the time, man. I don't want it."**_ I said. _**"Listen, Joey; I've tried several times in these days to get her back and it didn't work. The time to get her back has ended."**_

_**"Why is it that things have a time? What if you attempt to wait it just to happen, despite everything? Sometimes, twisting time is twisting things around. Flowing is the key. Or a break before returning to blink." **_Joey said and I looked at him very confused.

_**"I really don't get what you try to say, man."**_ I said still very confused.

_**"Doesn't matter; someday you'll understand it."**_ Joey said, shaking his head. _**"The point is that if you still feel something for her; whatever that feeling is, if deep inside it's a positive feeling, then you shouldn't try to push her away; you shouldn't force yourself to forget her while you have a great chance right in front of your nose, that is the chance you have to talk to her again as you have been waiting for a year. Hey, it's pretty cool what it's happening to you right now." **_Joey exclaimed with a smile and I looked at him frowning in disbelief and discontent.

_**"Yeah, so very pretty cool bro. We act as strangers, so cool."**_ I said sarcastically, raising an eyebrow.

_**"It is. Damn, you have a chance to get to know her again, to find new things about a girl who you like, to find those things that make her happy and make her laugh and share it again; you have a chance to try to get to be friends with her, to fall in love with her again. To recreate with her over again all those memories you have and even to make it better, not making the same mistakes as before."**_ Joey said speaking really fast and I was slightly frowning, trying to get all he was saying. _**"But you have to be willing to start from the beginning. And that's very cool; because it's like if you have to do things for the first time. And there is nothing more exciting than doing something for the first time. That is so cool, bro. You have a damn good chance and if you force yourself to be away from her, you're gonna miss that chance and that would be so stupid. Not so often we have chances like that."**_ Joey said shrugging and now I was looking at him kind of surprised and thoughtful. _**"So, you can either keep feeling pity for yourself for what is happening and keep feeling how terrible and miserable things are like an idiot or you can make something fucking good with this chance you have now. It's all up to you, buddy."**_

_**"Never thought about it..."**_ I whispered, thoughtful. He was totally right.

_**"You're welcome, stupid."**_ Joey said with a slight smile, but I didn't answer anything, I was very thoughtful. He amazed me. _**"Well, now you know my point of view of this so I can sleep in peace."**_ Joey said now standing up and taking off his shirt to go to his bed. _**"Thanks for telling me, asshole."**_

_**"Yeah... Thanks for advising me..." **_I whispered still thoughtful as I lay down in bed.

And I began to think... What if I really take this as an opportunity and not as a washout? Maybe Joey was right, maybe it could be exciting to know her again. Yeah, I didn't know her anymore so I couldn't still be in love with her; but maybe I could be friends with her again. And what if I end up liking this new Freckles more than the Freckles of high school? She was a mystery for me right now. And damn, I loved mystery.

* * *

_**"Hey, Freckles. Could you lend me this book? I liked the title."**_ Meredith said next morning, after the night you went out to play tennis.

_**"Which one?"**_ You asked looking at Meredith while still looking for your black purse.

_**"This one, The Country Doctor."**_ Meredith said holding the book.

_**"Ugh, Kafka. I do not recommend you it; it is awesome, but it is very hard and complicated to read Kafka, because his works are really incomprehensibly complex, bizarre, and illogical and the surreal storylines are presented with total absurdity and nonsense, with inconsistencies within the novel, such as disparities in timing in addition to other discontinuities in narration. You'll have to re-read it if you want to understand it."**_ You explained quickly as Meredith was looking at you frowning.

_**"How do you know so much about books and shit like that?"**_ She asked kind of stunned. _**"You're very cultured and enlightened. I feel kind of intimidated." **_

_**"What?"**_ You asked laughing softly. _**"That's absurd. I know about it because I like reading, which doesn't make me an enlightened person."**_ You said still giggling softly as you searched for a book. _**"I strongly recommend you this one: To the Lighthouse by Virginia Woolf. The prose can be winding and hard to follow, but it's a really good book. The novel recalls childhood emotions and highlights adult relationships, many themes are those of loss, subjectivity, and the problem of perception; so it's a cool one."**_ You said handing the book to Meredith.

_**"Okay, I'll read it, maybe this way I'll be just as awesome and smart as you are."**_ She said with a smile, grabbing the book and you shook your head amused. _**"Are you going somewhere?"**_

_**"Yeah, I'll hang out with my friend who's also studying here, remember I told you?"**_ You asked while still searching for your black purse.

_**"Oh yeah, I remember. I'd like to meet him sometime, you know you're free to invite him here if you want, I don't mind."**_ Meredith said flipping through the first few pages of the book.

_**"Yes, I know. If you want I can ask him if he wants to have lunch with the two of us, so you'll finally meet him." **_You answered, now a bit annoyed because you couldn't find that purse.

_**"Yes, I'd like that. But hey... Don't you have class now?"**_ She asked curious.

_**"Oh yes, I have. But whatever! I'll take a free day..."**_ You said curtly because you didn't want to be specific about this; you didn't want to explain why you were taking a free day.

_**"Hmm, I should do the same. On Fridays I'm so lazy... I'd like just to chill out here, reading this book." **_Meredith said, sitting on a chair. _**"Gosh, that sounded so nerdy!" **_

_**"Yeah, don't worry about trying to sound cool with me; I'm a nerd myself."**_ You answered shrugging and laughing and then you huffed. _**"Have you seen my black purse?"**_

_**"You have a lot of black purses."**_ Meredith pointed. Yes, she was right.

_**"That one... with red strap."**_ You answered.

_**"Oh yeah, it's in the closet, next to your collection of awesome shoes." **_Meredith said, now reading the book.

_**"Yes, here it is thanks."**_ You said, now putting your phone, your wallet and your red lipstick on it. _**"Well, I gotta go, Meredith. See you on lunch, then?" **_

_**"Yes, totally. Let's meet at The Blue Apple around noon."**_ Meredith said and she looked up at you, finally paying attention. _**"Oh dear dead god! You look fantastic!"**_ She exclaimed loudly with eyes wide open.

_**"Do you really think so?"**_ You asked unsure, looking at yourself in the mirror. _**"I'm not sure about this dress... Don't do I look kind of ridiculous?"**_

_**"Hell no, you look like one of those women of the 50s with your short hair, red lips and that sexy dress. Oh girl, you could be the new Marilyn Monroe!"**_ She exclaimed still amazed and you laughed out loud.

_**"Please, Marilyn Monroe was a major sex symbol with her provocative curves, her extraordinary beauty and her splendid charisma. I don't think I could be ever like her, not even in a thousand year."**_ You answered laughing, but truth was that Meredith made you feel flattered and bit more confident.

_**"Let's see what guys will think when they see you passing by. You'll kill everybody, you'll see."**_ Meredith said nodding enthusiastically. _**"Why do you look so wonderful, anyway?"**_ She asked suspiciously and intrigued, with an amused smile. _**"Do you like your friend so you want to seduce him?"**_

_**"No, not at all. He's only my best friend and I was never interested on him for stupid love affairs or something; and he also sees me as his best friend. It'd be kinda disturbing to have something else than friendship with him."**_ You explained frowning, amused.

_**"So why do you look so beautiful then?"**_ She asked intrigued.

_**"I don't know. I guess I wanted to look beautiful today. You surely also have those moments sometimes, every girl has."**_ You answered shrugging and smiling.

_**"Well, if I had all your clothes and your beauty; yes, sure I'd want to look splendid all the time and show the world how beautiful I am."**_ Meredith answered in all seriousness, nodding.

_**"Oh well..."**_ You said shyly and feeling flattered. _**"You know? You can wear my clothes if you want, I really don't mind." **_

_**"I'd love that because your clothes are simply awesome, I don't know where you get those. But I'd never look well on them, and besides, your clothes won't fit on me. For that I have to lose weight first."**_ Meredith said looking at you, frowning.

_**"What? You're very thin. I'm sure my clothes will fit on you and I even think that my clothes will be loose on you."**_ You answered frowning.

_**"What? Are you insane? How... Oh boy, how on earth can you think that? Have you looked yourself in a mirror? You're super skinny."**_ Meredith exclaimed kind of astonished.

_**"Yeah, whatever..."**_ You answered looking away, uncomfortable. _**"Well, I really gotta go now. See you later, Meredith!"**_

You left your room and walked to The Blue Apple, where you were going to meet Brian. Meredith was right, everybody was looking at you while you were walking, not only men, women also. But you didn't think you were killing him; instead you were feeling kind of uncomfortable because you couldn't tell why they were looking at you in a not sly way. Anyway, you kept walking, trying to feel confident and pretty, and not ridiculous and awkward. When you arrived at The Blue Apple, Brian still wasn't there; so you sat on a table alone.

_**"Would this sexy lady let me sit with her?"**_ A random and very good-looking guy with olive skin tone and light brown hair asked, looking fixedly at you. More than you, he was staring your boobs.

_**"Sorry, I'm waiting for someone."**_ You replied, looking away and feeling shy.

_**"Come on, give me a chance. I'd do anything for you, I swear."**_ The boy exclaimed, still staring your boobs.

_**"My eyes are up here."**_ You pointed kind of harsh, because it was annoying you.

_**"Yeah, sorry. It's just that you... Damn, you're sexy as hell."**_ The boy exclaimed.

_**"Oh well, such a confidence to say it while I still don't know your name and you don't know mine."**_ You said raising an eyebrow and looking away. You really didn't like when guys objectified you.

_**"I'm so sorry, I'm never like this; it's just that you caught my attention because I'm not used to see pretty girls like you here. I'm very sorry." **_He said apologetically, finally looking into your eyes. You finally could see his eyes. Oh goddamn, he had dazzling ice blue eyes, very captivating and contrasting with his olive skin tone. You quickly looked away. _**"I'm Noah."**_

_**"Nice to meet you, Noah."**_ You answered curtly.

_**"It's my pleasure. Won't you tell me your name?"**_ He asked with a soft smile.

_**"I don't think so..." **_You answered curtly. Oh geez, you just wanted him to go away.

_**"Oh, I get it... I guess that my presence is not welcome to you."**_ The boy said and you looked at him, he was looking down but then he looked at you and smiled. His teeth were perfect and so white. That guy surely was a model or something. _**"I'm sorry for bothering you, lady."**_ He said as a gentleman, still smiling charmingly. _**"I hope you can forgive my imprudence."**_

_**"Hey, dude. What are you doing?"**_ Brian suddenly asked and you looked at him surprised. You didn't see him coming. The boy, Noah, looked at Brian kind of intimidated. Oh yes, you've forgotten that Brian actually looked intimidating, with his very well-toned body and his tallness.

_**"Nothing, I was just talking..."**_ The boy answered kind of nervous.

_**"That's right, Brian. He was just talking..."**_ You said because the poor guy was freaking out.

_**"You better..."**_ Brian said looking fixedly at the guy and Noah nodded.

_**"Well, I guess I'll see you around. It was nice to meet you." **_The guy said smiling charmingly at you and he gave you something... A chocolate? Really? _**"A sweet to another sweet."**_ He said kind of flirty, in a whisper so Brian wasn't able to hear, and then he left.

"_**Oh my god!" **_You exclaimed laughing, looking at Brian. _**"You scared the crap out of him, Brian!"**_ You exclaimed amused and Brian giggled softly.

"_**I've been told I have that ability." **_He answered also amused, now being the same nice Brian you knew. _**"Who was that guy?"**_ Brian asked intrigued while sitting on the chair with two coffees, handing one to you.

_**"I have no idea; he just came here and started talking."**_ You replied shrugging.

_**"Well, why doesn't it surprise me?"**_ Brian asked amused and you looked at him frowning.

_**"What do you mean with that?"**_ You asked suspiciously.

_**"Nothing... Just that you have that ability to attract men."**_ Brian answered amused. _**"And more if you dress like that. You look beautiful today, by the way." **_

_**"Thank you, Brian. I hope that your 'and more if you dress like that' is a compliment and not an indirect to tell me I look like a slut or something." **_You said giggling, shaking your head.

"_**Why would you look like a slut? You just look amazing with those clothes, it's very glamorous. Do you look like this for a specific reason?"**_ He asked intrigued, taking a sip of his coffee.

_**"No reason, I just wanted to look pretty."**_ You replied shrugging, also taking a sip of your non-fat coffee.

_**"Well, you always look pretty but today you look splendid. So don't be surprised if any other guy comes here to ask your phone number." **_Brian said laughing and you shook your head. _**"So, how have you been?"**_

_**"Oh, pretty well..."**_ You answered taking another sip of coffee, looking away.

_**"That is a sign that actually you aren't pretty well..."**_ Brian said looking fixedly at you.

_**"What? That's absurd. Why would you think that?"**_ You asked, raising an eyebrow.

_**"I know when you're lying, pretending everything is fine when actually something else is happening. I know you, Sunny."**_ He said with a 'ha!' smile.

_**"Every day I hate you more."**_ You answered, shaking your head.

_**"I know you don't."**_ He replied with an amused smile. _**"Does this have something to do with Darren?"**_

_**"Bingo!"**_ You exclaimed loudly and exaggeratedly, laughing then to try to make it as a joke.

_**"I see, I see... What happened? Have you seen him again?"**_ Brian asked intrigued.

_**"You know, when it's about me and Darren, somehow, when you ask if I've seen him again; see seems to be a lame word."**_ You replied.

_**"I'm assuming that what you try to say it's that you haven't only seen him. Do I have to assume that you talked to him and slept with him again?"**_ Brian asked.

_**"Yeah, well, no... I talked to him, yes; but I haven't slept with him since that time. I told you that it was an exception when I slept with him!"**_ You said trying to defend yourself. _**"I've just talked and played a stupid game..."**_

_**"Again with alcohol?"**_ Brian asked serious.

_**"No, not with alcohol. I played tennis and then... Then a questions and answers game; only Darren and I played that game while his friends were just looking at us."**_ You explained looking away.

_**"Questions and answers game? Do you have any idea how dangerous that kind of game can be? And more when you have a secret."**_ Brian exclaimed.

_**"Well yeah, now I know."**_ You said sighing.

_**"I can tell that you aren't pretty well because of that game; something went bad. Am I wrong?"**_ He asked looking fixedly into your eyes.

_**"No, you're right."**_ You sighed.

_**"Has he done or said something inappropriate?"**_ Brian asked.

_**"No, actually... Actually it was kind of my fault."**_ You said looking down, playing with your fingers.

_**"How come?"**_ He asked frowning in confusion.

_**"Well, I'll tell you what happened since the beginning. I was just fooling around with my roommate and her friends; I was talking to a very sexy friend of her called Joe, but it's pointless to mention him now because this what happened has nothing to do with him, just wanted to let you know that he is sexy and funny..."**_ You started explaining, rambling like an idiot.

_**"Relax, Sunny." **_Brian said raising his eyebrows as he let out a soft giggle.

_**"Okay, yes."**_ You said huffing and then you took a deep breathe. _**"We were talking about random things, and then Darren appeared... Well, everybody greeted him; seems that all of my roommate's friends are friends of Darren too. Yeah, I had no idea that Darren was coming, so it took me by surprise. I feel so bad for what I'm gonna say, but I really didn't want to greet him. Yeah..."**_ You said looking down, feeling as a bad person.

_**"Why? I thought you were prepared to see him again."**_ Brian said looking at you deeply into your eyes.

_**"I was prepared, but it still hurt."**_ You answered gloomy, looking down.

_**"Why did it hurt?"**_ He asked as if he was your psychologist and you huffed.

_**"Why are you asking me things?"**_ You asked kind of annoyed and Brian looked at you with eyes wide open, stunned. Shit, you didn't know what was wrong with you; lately you've been very grumpy. _**"I'm sorry, Brian. I didn't want..."**_

_**"I know, don't worry."**_ Brian said smiling kindly. _**"If you want I can just shut my mouth and listen."**_

_**"No, it's fine if you wanna ask something. It's not you, it's me; I've been kind of a bitch lately, so sorry."**_ You apologized.

_**"It's alright, I understand."**_ He said kindly. _**"Really." **_

_**"Thanks. Well, I'll answer you... It hurt because, you know, I still feel weird when he's around."**_ You answered honestly, looking down. _**"I want to act in a polite way with him, but I just can't. Is too weird that he's there, trying to talk to me... I just can't talk to him as before. He tried to talk to me about random things; he was being friendly, you know? But I wasn't feeling comfortable with him, so I cut him off. It hurt; I'm not like that." **_

"_**Why weren't you feeling comfortable with him?" **_

_**"Isn't it obvious, Brian? I can't talk to him politely, pretending as if nothing ever happened between us, it's weird..." **_

_**"I thought you didn't feel anything for him. As far as I know, you forgot him and all that happened."**_

_**"I really don't feel anything for him. But, you know? Nothing is as I thought it'd be. Yeah, I thought that I forgot everything that happened between us. But every time I see him, I immediately remember what he has done and I can't avoid it. So that is why I can't be nice to him; and I try, but I constantly fail."**_ You said sighing.

_**"I see, and that is the only reason you are feeling bad."**_ Brian said, not as a statement but as a question.

_**"No..."**_ You answered looking away, trying to avoid his gaze. _**"It was about the game, remember?"**_

_**"Yeah... The questions and answers game. Why have you decided to play that game with Darren?" **_

_**"Because I'm stupid, I guess."**_ You answered shrugging and laughing bitterly. _**"I honestly can't remember exactly why we started playing it. I said something stupid like 'Darren doesn't know me pretty well.'"**_ You said mocking yourself in a derogatory way, as emphasizing how stupid you were. _**"I should have known that it was a stupid thing to say, because right away Darren challenged me to prove him wrong, telling me that he did know me pretty well. And I, like the biggest idiot in the universe, accepted the challenge."**_ You said frowning and feeling upset with yourself.

_**"I see... What happened then?" **_

_**"Well, I started asking him some questions, innocent questions such as my favorite color, food, places, movie... Stupid things like that. Of course he answered everything perfectly. After a damn fucking year, he still knew everything about me; he didn't forget anything."**_ You said annoyed.

_**"Is that something bad?" **_

_**"Of course it is. Brian, we were nothing... Well, we were something but it was all a lie. We are strangers now, but he knows almost everything about me. I was feeling very irritated, so very irritated."**_ You admitted. _**"And I don't know... I acted... I acted like a real bitch; you wouldn't have recognized me in that moment Brian. I acted like a really bad person." **_

_**"What have you done?"**_ He asked intrigued.

_**"I needed to ask something he couldn't answer; I felt the need to make him feel bad. I know, it sounds terrible, I don't know why I wanted to make him feel that way. I'm not a bad person, I swear I'm not... But, in that moment... I was."**_ You said feeling really bad now.

_**"I know you're not a bad person. What have you done to say that?"**_ He asked even more intrigued.

_**"I asked him to answer me who my first was. In a very bitchy way and intending to be cruel and hurting him."**_ You answered anguished, looking down.

_**"Ouch..."**_ Brian exclaimed as letting you know that you screwed it. Damn. _**"And what did he answer?"**_

_**"At first he didn't answer, he only looked at me... Damn, he looked at me very sadly. You should have seen him; he was hurt, just as I wanted in that moment."**_ You said anguished, feeling like a hideous person. _**"Then... Then he answered that he didn't know and he congratulated me for proving him wrong. And to make things worse, I said that he didn't know me, that he only knew what I used to be. Everybody was there, looking at us; and I was a bitch anyway. And then... Well, then he said something like sometimes you have to know someone really well to realize you were actually strangers."**_ You said sighing, looking down, still feeling distressed.

_**"Gee, kinda intense..."**_ Brian whispered, frowning. You knew he didn't know what to say to not make you feel worse than you were already feeling.

_**"I'm a bad person, right?"**_ You asked now looking at him distressed.

_**"No, you're not. You were just feeling bad... I won't say that you said the right thing, because, you actually kinda screwed it... But everybody says things like that while feeling upset or bad..." **_He said kind of uncomfortable.

_**"You know?"**_ You said in a whisper. _**"I always shudder when I realize how easy it is to act wrong with people, how easy it is to stay with a negligible part of them and confuse the part with the whole."**_

_**"What do you mean?"**_ He asked confused. _**"Sunny, please, tell me exactly what you feel for him now; in all honesty."**_

_**"Well... Though at the end we weren't a great love story, although we were just a flash in the pan and everything was a lie; just two people in their teens, laughing and bullshitting, we were something."**_ You answered shrugging and feeling something weird in your chest, something that you haven't felt in a while. Then you started remembering all the memories that were still in your mind and you were trying hard to forget; and, without even being able to control it, you smiled slightly. _**"I can remember the way he sounds, the way his hair felt, and the way he made coffee in the mornings when the sun melted through the window. I can still hear his laugh, still taste the strawberries we got at the market, so juicy and ripe they almost fell apart in your hands. It's all still here."**_ You said still smiling slightly, but then you looked down, frowning and feeling a distress in your heart. _**"But even with such visceral memories, he doesn't exist to me anymore."**_ You said gloomy and then you sighed. _**"He will go on, get married, have children, and soon our relationship will be fifty years behind him. But I wonder, what happens to these moments that we shared together? Am I a different person for having watched it rain from his fire escape, for surprising him at 3 AM, for sharing my favorite TV show with him? These stupid, mundane moments with people like him often seem to be the ones that haunt me the most."**_ You answered very honest, still looking down.

You were feeling something odd in your chest; as if finally you were realizing all the things that were now just a distant memory; something almost unreal. You were noticing how all of those good moments you ever had, were just now something... wasted and threshed.

_**"I think you should talk to him about what happened." **_Brian said slowly, looking fixedly into your eyes with his green eyes.

_**"Yes, I think the same. I should talk to him to apologize. And I should talk to him not to be together again, because that is not what I want and because I don't feel the same love I felt for him once. But I should talk to him about what happened, to forgive and be forgiven; to try, at least, to have a moderately good relationship with him, because inevitably I'll see him often."**_ You said thoughtfully, coming to your senses.

_**"What if he wants to get you back as his girlfriend?"**_ Brian asked roundly, looking at you curiously.

_**"First of all, he never considered me as a real girlfriend. But in case he wants it, I'll made him clear that I'm not interested on him and that it won't happen. And I promise to say it in a civilized way and not like a bitch." **_You replied, looking at him while nodding.

_**"And if he wants to be your friend and not just someone with whom he gets along?"**_ Brian asked again, roundly.

_**"Well, I don't know. I guess I wouldn't mind if after the talk everything ends in a good way. But he can't be my friend so easily, because we are like strangers now. With this, I'm not trying to say that I'd do everything to avoid being his friend. If it comes to happen, well, it'll happen. If not, well, that's okay."**_ You answered shrugging.

_**"Are you sure you can do that?"**_ Brian asked frowning, a bit concerned.

_**"Yeah... Why wouldn't I?"**_ You asked suspiciously.

_**"Maybe because you still feel something for him."**_

_**"What? You know I don't feel anything for him more than the memories I have. I've changed, I'm different now. If I'm different and he's different, how could I still feel something for him?"**_ You asked incredulous.

_**"I don't know, I was just making sure; considering how you acted the last time you saw him... You feel something; I'm not saying that you're still in love with him and I'm not even trying to say that you feel something good for him; but you feel something indeed, something like... rancor, maybe; for something that never could be spoken. And once you talk to him... It could change everything." **_Brian said raising his eyebrows.

_**"Yes, maybe it could change everything. But the pain I felt when he dumped me in that way? That's not gonna change. I don't wanna feel rancor for him, but I won't forget it either. So... I don't see why this could be a problem. I'm more than sure that I don't want to be with him again, not more than as friends. And... Hell, I'm at college and there are a lot of cool guys! Maybe I could meet someone, who knows?"**_ You said with an amused smile.

_**"Yes, like that guy who gave you a chocolate?"**_ Brian asked amused and you laughed.

_**"Yes, like that guy. He was cute..."**_ You joked and Brian laughed softly, shaking his head. _**"Do you think I could like him?"**_

"_**Oh well, I don't think so…"**_ Brian said amused and you frowned. _**"I'm sure about it. You should have seen the way he was looking at you."**_ Brian laughed and so did you.

_**"Talking about guys and shit... I invited my roommate to have lunch with us; so you'll meet her and she'll meet you. You don't mind, right?"**_ You asked.

_**"Of course not. I'd like to know the girl who's living with my best friend." **_

_**"Oh, I think you'll like her. She's very funny and nice... And she's pretty."**_ You said winking, with an amused smile.

_**"I don't like the way you're looking at me, Sunny!"**_ Brian exclaimed amused and you laughed.

_**"Oh come on, Brian! You gotta find a girl! She's a good option, trust me."**_ You said persuasively.

_**"Well, it turns out that I don't wanna be with anybody... I'm fine by myself, I'm busy with other stuff, I do not have time for a girlfriend or something."**_ Brian answered kind of uncomfortable.

_**"Why? Why do you never want to give it a try? I can't get why you refuse all the time meeting a girl. And that excuse of 'I'm busy with other stuff' is very lame, just so you know."**_ You said looking fixedly at him, raising an eyebrow.

_**"I just don't want, okay?" **_Brian said sighing; now looking away and you looked at him frowning in silence.

_**"Are you gay?"**_ You asked suspiciously, looking deeply into his eyes.

_**"What?"**_ He asked loudly in disbelief, looking at you frowning. _**"Oh my god, no I'm not. Just because I don't wanna be in a relationship with a girl, doesn't mean that I'm gay."**_

_**"Oh, too bad. I really want to have a gay friend."**_ You said in a whisper, shaking your head while looking down. Then you looked up at him again. _**"I don't know... But I've never seen you with a girl... Maybe you're gay but you still don't know that you are; or maybe you don't want to admit it..."**_

_**"I'm not gay."**_ Brian interrupted you harshly.

_**"And what? You never liked a girl." **_You assumed, raising an eyebrow.

_**"Yes, I did. The fact that I haven't said anything, doesn't mean that I never liked a girl, you know." **_Brian said looking deeply into your eyes.

_**"And why haven't you told me? I always tell you my personal stuff; I always talk to you about Darren and Ian, and even the guy who recently was here. I always told you everything about my love life; why wouldn't you tell me anything? Is that you don't trust me?"**_ You asked suspiciously.

_**"No, it's not that."**_ He replied frowning, looking down. Apparently he was nervous, or uncomfortable or annoyed; you weren't sure. _**"You feel good when you talk about it; well, I don't. I don't feel comfortable telling that kind of stuff."**_

_**"But... It's me, Brian." **_You said looking into his green eyes, now feeling a bit sad. He never told you anything at all.

_**"Yeah, I know it's you."**_ He said in a whisper, looking deeply into your eyes. He looked at you in silence for a long time, until he looked away. _**"Whatever, let's not talk about it, shall we?"**_

_**"Okay..."**_ You answered frowning slightly, feeling a bit confused and bit sad. You were still thinking that he didn't trust you or maybe... _**"Is that because I'm all the time talking about myself and I never let you telling me something about you?"**_ You asked kind of distressed when you realized that he never could tell you anything because you always talked about yourself.

_**"Not at all."**_ Brian answered frowning as if you were saying a stupid thing. _**"Why would you think that? Geez! You need to stop overthinking things. It's because I didn't want to talk about it. Simple as that."**_

_**"Who's the girl you liked, may I know?"**_ You asked intrigued.

_**"I really, but really, don't wanna talk about it. Not because I don't trust you, but because I don't want to talk about it now. Maybe someday I'll tell you, but not now."**_ Brian said roundly.

_**"Fine."**_ You answered sighing.

_**"Thanks."**_ Brian said smiling slightly and you smiled faintly back at him.

_**"Freckles!"**_ You heard a woman's voice yelling.

Both you and Brian looked at her abruptly. It was Meredith. And she was with Darren. Seriously? What the fuck? You looked at them astonished by the surprise of seeing Darren with her, like why would Darren be with her? Why? Why would she bring Darren with her? Why would Darren come after the bad dispute you had and the way he left? This had no sense at all. But both Meredith and Darren were walking towards you and Brian, both of them smiling. Meredith seemed to be very excited while Darren was just smiling slightly. Damn. You looked at Brian surreptitiously; he was looking at you fixedly, raising an eyebrow and completely confused. You only shrugged and then you looked at Darren and Meredith again. Gosh, you started feeling nervous now. You really didn't want to be with Darren, at least not before you could talk to him and you couldn't do it now. You looked down because you didn't know what to do once they arrived where you were. How the fuck should you act?

_"Act naturally, as if nothing bad has happened. Be nice, be polite, and be kind. No matter what happens now, you're a well-mannered girl; so do not get mad, do not yell, do not treat anybody in a bad way. Behave."_ You repeated in your mind all the time while Meredith and Darren were coming closer.

_**"Hi Freckles!"**_ Meredith greeted you with a hug, smiling cheerfully.

Then she looked at Brian from head to toe, with a wide smile. Brian also looked at her from head to toe, smiling kindly. Then Brian stood up and stretched out his hand to Meredith, still smiling. You looked at him frowning and amused; Brian? Acting in a very polite way?

_**"Hi, I'm Brian."**_ He said smiling kindly as Meredith also stretched out her hand. _**"It's nice to finally meet you."**_

_**"Yes, it's nice to meet you too. I'm Meredith."**_ Meredith said with a bright smile. _**"Freckles has told me a lot about you." **_

_**"Freckles?"**_ Brian asked pretending to be curious; but he knew pretty well why she called you Freckles, so he asked that on purpose.

_**"Yes, Freckles. It's the way we call her; don't you call her like that too?"**_ Meredith asked confused but a bit amused.

_**"No, no."**_ Brian said chuckling softly while shaking his head. _**"I think that's the way that only Darren and his friends used to call her." **_

_**"Do you also know Darren?"**_ Meredith asked curiously, now looking at Darren in confusion.

_**"Yeah, we know each other already."**_ Darren replied with a slight smile.

You looked fixedly at him, serious; but he wasn't looking at you. He still didn't look at you. How would Darren act with Brian? How would Brian act with Darren? They never got along. You were afraid that this could end up in a bad way. But Darren stretched out his hand and so did Brian.

_**"Hi, man. It's cool to see you around."**_ Darren greeted politely.

_**"Yeah, same. It's been a while."**_ Brian said just as politely. What?

_**"Were you friends, guys?"**_ Meredith asked curious.

_**"No, we weren't."**_ Brian answered shrugging.

_**"That's right. But I owe him a lot."**_ Darren said looking at Brian and Brian raised his eyebrows in surprise. _**"He helped me out in a crucial moment."**_

_**"Yeah, well, that was long time ago. You don't owe me anything at all, Criss."**_ Brian answered kind of uncomfortable.

_**"I do, I didn't forget it, Clerk. And call me Darren. We're not in high school anymore. Let bygones be bygones." **_Darren said laughing softly.

_**"Yeah, well, you call me Brian then."**_ Brian answered friendly.

What the fuck was this? Why were they talking... like that? Both Meredith and you were looking at them confused. Meredith confused because she couldn't get this; and you confused because this wasn't normal. Then Darren looked at you and he smiled slightly.

_**"Hi, Freckles."**_ He greeted politely in the distance.

_**"Hi, Darren."**_ You greeted shyly. You weren't feeling comfortable at all.

_**"You look gorgeous today."**_ He said again, politely, in the distance.

_**"Thanks."**_ You replied shyly, looking down.

_**"Gorgeous? She looks sexy! She totally looks like Marilyn Monroe!"**_ Meredith exclaimed loudly and you blushed, still looking down; while Darren just giggled softly, not saying anything at all.

_**"Oh geez! That's right! I knew she was looking like someone, didn't realize it was like Marilyn Monroe!"**_ Brian suddenly exclaimed and Meredith looked at him amused; Darren looked at him frowning and you just looked at him in an 'I'll kill you' way.

_**"Darren, don't you think so too?"**_ Meredith asked kind of excited, looking at him and Darren just raised his eyebrows and giggled nervously, but he didn't answer anything. _**"Darren? Answer!"**_

_**"Umm..."**_ Darren started muttering, looking away while putting his hands in the pockets of his jeans.

_**"Okay, it was enough..."**_ You whispered shyly, still looking down; trying to save Darren of answering that question that seemed to be uncomfortable to him, because he surely was thinking that you didn't look like her and didn't know how to say it.

_**"Okay, don't get mad, Sunny!"**_ Brian exclaimed and Meredith looked at him frowning in an amused way while Darren looked at him, frowning in confusion.

_**"Sunny?"**_ Meredith asked intrigued.

_**"Yes, that's the way I call her because there was a day she was dressed up only with yellow clothes and all... Long story."**_ Brian said laughing and you felt even more uncomfortable. Geez, you didn't like this but you reminded to yourself that you should act naturally. _**"Come on, guys. Let's sit and have something for lunch. Darren, are you also staying? Because she only mentioned about Meredith..." **_Brian pointed and you felt kind of ashamed.

_**"Well, umm, yeah..."**_ Darren said frowning, looking away. He was uncomfortable.

_**"Yes, I invited him, sorry. It's just that I was coming here and Darren and I were in the same class; he also needed to have lunch, so I invited him. Sorry, I hope you don't mind." **_Meredith said now also feeling a bit uncomfortable, when she noticed everybody's faces.

_**"No, it's alright. Right, Sunny?"**_ Brian asked looking at you fixedly. Damn, why the hell was he doing it? He knew this was awkward for you; he wasn't helping at all.

_**"Yes, it's fine."**_ You answered curtly.

So then Brian sat next to you, Meredith in front of him and Darren in front of you. Well, thankfully he didn't sit next to you; but you didn't know what you preferred, because this way you were going to look at him all the time. Darren was the last one who sat, and when he did it, he accidentally stepped on your foot. Geez, it hurt, so you frowned and made a face of pain.

_**"Oh, I'm so sorry! It wasn't my intention, I'm sorry!"**_ He quickly apologized.

_**"It's okay, don't worry."**_ You replied with a faint smile, still feeling pain, though.

_**"What happened?"**_ Brian asked intrigued.

_**"Nothing, just nothing." **_You answered shortly.

_**"As the most awkward and clumsy person, I just stepped on her foot. Stupid ass."**_ Darren exclaimed annoyed with himself.

_**"You dumb."**_ Meredith said frowning.

_**"I know, fuck."**_ Darren said, still annoyed.

_**"It's okay, can we leave it behind?" **_You finally asked, kind of exasperated. Oh no, you were starting to lose control already and that wasn't good.

_**"Yeah, sorry."**_ Darren said looking down. You knew it, now this was going to be an uncomfortable silent situation.

_**"So how was your class?"**_ You asked as if trying to break the uncomfortable silence.

_**"Oh it was pretty cool, we were at..."**_ Meredith started explaining.

But you didn't listen anymore because, accidentally, Darren touched your knees with his. He didn't notice, because he was looking at Meredith and he was also commenting things of what happened in their class. You tried to move your knees, but there was no much room; so inevitably your knees were going to touch. Why he wasn't noticing this if you could notice it? Maybe you were paying too much attention at insignificant things; so you tried to forget about it.

_**"Freckles?"**_ Darren asked and you finally realized that you weren't listening anything at all.

_**"Eh? Sorry, I wasn't listening."**_ You said frowning slightly and feeling like an idiot.

_**"Yeah, I figured!"**_ He laughed and you smiled faintly. _**"I was asking what you want to eat because I'm gonna go there to order the food now." **_

_**"Oh, um, for drinking I want... A diet Snapple. And for eating, broccoli raisin salad."**_ You answered and Darren kept looking at you. Why was he looking at you that way?

_**"Okay. Broccoli raisin salad with what?"**_ He asked. _**"I recommend you a roast beef and cheddar sandwich, that's delicious."**_

_**"No. Just the salad."**_ You answered firmly, smiling politely. Darren kept looking fixedly at you, serious, raising an eyebrow. You didn't like that way he was looking at you.

_**"You can't eat only a salad."**_ He said serious.

_**"Why not?" **_You asked frowning. _**"I'm fine with the salad, I don't want anything else." **_

_**"Okay... And for dessert? Maybe a chocolate cake?"**_ He asked.

_**"Oh no!"**_ You refused strongly, frowning. No way that you could eat that. _**"Just a fresh fruit, maybe an apricot." **_

_**"Are you vegan now?"**_ He asked curiously, frowning and you giggled.

_**"No, I'm not. I just want to eat something healthy now."**_ You answered shrugging.

_**"Yeah, but healthy is if you eat the salad with something else..."**_ Darren said raising an eyebrow.

_**"Well, whatever. I just want the salad, the fresh fruit and a diet Snapple."**_ You replied firmly, sighing.

_**"Okay, fine."**_ Darren answered, now looking away. _**"Brian, what do you want?"**_

_**"Italian meatball sandwich on club roll with a coke. And for dessert, turtle cookies."**_ Brian answered.

_**"Good choice, man."**_ Darren said smiling. _**"Alright, I'll buy the food. Be right back."**_ Darren said standing up.

_**"Hey, wait! I have to give you the money. And I'll pay also Sunny's food." **_Brian said pulling out his wallet.

_**"Oh no, no, no!"**_ Darren said quickly, moving his hands and shaking his head. _**"I pay."**_

_**"No, man. Just wait... How much is it?"**_ Brian asked.

_**"No, really, dude; don't worry, I pay."**_ Darren said firmly and you looked at him surprised.

_**"But really..."**_

_**"Hey, just stop with that shit. Consider this as my invitation for the encounter."**_ Darren said quickly and Brian looked at him amazed and then he nodded. _**"Be right back, guys."**_

_**"I'll go with you, Darren; so I'll help you with the trays."**_ Meredith said, also standing up.

And so Darren and Meredith walked away to order the food. You stayed silent until you were sure they were far enough; so then you looked at Brian kind of altered.

_**"I can't believe he's here! Ugh!"**_ You exclaimed a bit annoyed.

_**"Why are you so moody about it?"**_ Brian asked frowning.

_**"Are you serious?"**_ You asked in disbelief.

_**"Yeah, I'm serious. I don't know why you make of this a big drama, honestly, no offense. The guy was friendly all the time, he didn't say or do anything provocative."**_ Brian answered, shrugging.

_**"You gotta be kidding me, Brian. You don't even like him."**_ You said incredulous.

_**"Hey, correction. I didn't like him in high school because, I don't know, he was very snooty and irritating. But it seems he has changed, for better. I don't know, he was just cool and amicable. I think you can't see it because you're still resented with him and you cannot see anything good of him; and I'm not blaming you. I'm just being objective while you're being subjective and it's understandable."**_ Brian answered softly.

_**"I can't believe it..."**_ You huffed, raising an eyebrow and shaking your head. _**"I don't know why you're acting with him as if you were friends or something. And could you please stop asking uncomfortable things and stop making me feel embarrassed? Ugh."**_ You huffed in annoyance.

_**"Hey, calm down, Sunny."**_ Brian adverted serious, looking at you fixedly. _**"You should be enjoying this lunch instead complaining about everything; you don't get anything by being annoyed. And for the record, I'm not acting with him as if we were friends or shit like that. I'm just trying to be friendly, because it could be cool to get along with your roommate and her friend that came to happen to be Darren; just that."**_

_**"What is wrong with you, Brian?"**_ You asked upset.

_**"Nothing is wrong with me; I think that something is wrong with you."**_ He said roundly and you felt really upset now. _**"You always tell me that you're prepared for this shit, but all you get is to be moody whenever he's around. You should stop doing it, because he's being nice to you and I can notice that he wants to get along with you. What I think is that he regrets what he did and he's trying to apologize but he cannot do it while you're still cutting him off and you're not giving him a chance to do it."**_

_**"Are you trying to say that I'm the bad person here and Darren is the good one?"**_ You asked suspiciously.

_**"No, I'm not saying that. I'm only trying to make you see that maybe you're overreacting with your actions and that maybe you should stop thinking all the time how he used to be to start seeing how he is now; and you should stop thinking all the time what he did, so you could allow him to be nice to you. He rejected you in the past; so do not reject him now, because you didn't like the feeling when he did it and I'm sure you wouldn't like anybody to feel the same way you did, because I know you aren't a bad person."**_ Brian said softly and you looked down. He had a point, but you just couldn't stop thinking about it all.

_**"Alright, I'll try to be nice and friendly..."**_ You answered, still looking down.

_**"I know you will. Just... just enjoy this and remember who you are now. You're a funny, cheerful, nice, kind, friendly, wonderful and positive girl now. Do not let this to change who you are."**_ Brian said kindly but also a bit nervous. _**"And open up yourself. Those walls you created between you and people? That's the worst thing you can do. You know? Not everybody wants to hurt you all the time; and if you think about it all the time, then you'll miss amazing things and you'll miss the chance to meet people who can become good friends."**_

_**"Yes, you're right. The impact I had when I met Darren again unbalanced me and it was starting to make me act and be in a different way than the way I truly am. That's right; I should act as myself, even with Darren. After all, it's like... Darren is like... A stranger, right? Yeah, I should act with him as if I were just talking to a new random person that I met in college. Yeah."**_ You said trying to convince yourself. _**"And I'm nice and open when I'm with a stranger... Why wouldn't I be like this with Darren, huh?" **_

_**"Yeah... well, something like that. Just, be yourself."**_ Brian said smiling warmly.

_**"Will do."**_ You said smiling brightly.

_**"And keep smiling like that, please."**_ He said and you frowned amused.

_**"Okay."**_ You giggled and he smiled kindly. _**"And what do you think about my roommate, huh? She's pretty, isn't she?"**_

_**"Yeah, she's pretty and nice."**_ Brian answered, smiling faintly. _**"But I do know which the intention of this question was… And no. She's pretty and nice, but nothing is gonna happen, you know?"**_

_**"Why not? Give her a chance!"**_ You tried to say convincingly.

_**"No, Sunny, no. I'd like to get along with her because she seems to be cool; but I don't want anything with anybody. She's not my type."**_ Brian replied firmly.

_**"And what is your type? What kind of girls do you like?"**_ You asked curiously.

_**"Well..."**_ Brian started answering kind of uncomfortable. _**"The kind of girls who are funny, nice, humble, friendly and that inspire cheerfulness and kindness."**_ He said looking at you and then he looked away.

_**"Meredith is like that."**_ You answered with a bright smile. _**"Maybe you could hang out with her another time and give a chance to know her better. And besides, I think she likes you."**_ You said winking.

_**"Yeah, maybe." **_Brian said sighing and you noticed he didn't want to talk about it anymore.

_**"Alright, guys! Here's the food!"**_ Darren suddenly exclaimed cheerful, giving you your tray and keeping one for him as Meredith gave one to Brian and kept one for her. Well, it was time to act nice to Darren as you promised.

_**"Thank you!"**_ You exclaimed happily and Darren looked at you abruptly, frowning, but then he smiled. _**"I was really hungry!"**_

_**"Yeah? Well, if you change your mind about the food... You can take some of mine if you want; I think I ordered food for two."**_ Darren said chuckling, looking at his tray. Indeed, he ordered for himself a lot of food.

_**"I don't think I'll change my mind, but thank you anyway." **_You answered with a friendly smile and again, Darren looked at you frowning as if he was stunned, but he smiled back at you.

_**"You're welcome."**_ He answered, sitting again; this time looking under the table to not step on your foot. _**"Well, thanks to the wizard god this time I didn't do something awkward."**_

_**"Yeah, I was starting to think that you wanted to steal my role of the clumsiest person, and I wouldn't like it, you know?"**_ You joked and Darren's face brightened with a widely smile as he laughed.

_**"Yeah, well, don't count your chickens before they have hatched! Maybe I could end up spilling my soda on your clothes, accidentally."**_ He said continuing with the joke and you giggled. _**"As far as I know, we both are clumsy. Man, the world should be scared of us being in the same place! We can cause disasters to the humanity!"**_

_**"Oh hell yeah!"**_ You exclaimed while laughing.

Well, maybe after all, it wasn't so bad to talk to Darren again... He was funny. Somehow, he also has changed. You still didn't know if for better or not; but for sure he was more hilarious, playful and sassy; and he for sure radiated joyfulness, a catchy joyfulness. You all kept talking for a long time, even when you finished eating you kept talking; about random things. You were afraid to admit it, but it was being one of the best days you had since you started college. Yes, you haven't laughed so much since you started college. It was also incredible how Darren and Brian were getting along, talking about football and other things. Like... Brian and Darren? Really? They were always like enemies and now this. It was funny the twists of life... Who would think that Darren and Brian were going to get along and Darren and you were going to have a weird, distant, indefinite relationship?

_**"Hey guys, we're going to downtown to visit the WSG Gallery. Do you wanna join us?"**_ Brian asked.

_**"Yeah, that would be a good idea. There's an exhibition of several artists and you will find an extravaganza of media and styles. I think it's a cool exhibition and you may like it."**_ You added with a bright smile.

_**"Oh yeah, I'd like to go there. It could be cool to do something new."**_ Meredith answered cheerfully.

_**"Great!"**_ You exclaimed joyfully. _**"And what about you, Darren?"**_ You asked looking at him with a friendly smile.

_**"I'd like to go... But unfortunately I've arranged to meet someone now."**_ Darren replied.

_**"Oh..."**_ You answered in a whisper, feeling... disappointed?

Why the hell would you feel disappointed? And why the hell were you very intrigued to know with who he was going to meet? Why the hell did you want to know if he was going to meet a girl? And why the hell were you now wondering if he had a girlfriend? Damn, you weren't supposed to feel like that. None of that was your business.

_**"Maybe another time."**_ Darren answered shrugging and smiling faintly.

_**"Yeah, yeah. Maybe another time."**_ You answered quickly, trying to not make obvious that you were feeling as weird as that.

_**"Cool. Well guys, it was a good lunch. But right now I have to go; otherwise I'll be late for my date."**_ He said laughing and you felt something you shouldn't feel: jealousy.

Were you jealous? Really? Well, for sure you weren't feeling jealous because you wanted to be the girl with whom he was going to have a date. But you were feeling jealous because he was with somebody and he surely was the way he used to be with you with that girl; and you still couldn't find someone. Actually, jealousy wasn't the proper word. But you didn't know how to call it and jealousy was the most similar feeling. A date. He was going to have a damn date. Darren stood up and grabbed his personal stuff.

_**"Okay guys, see you around. Have a blast in the gallery."**_ Darren greeted with a nice smile.

_**"Yeah, we will. You have a good time with the girl."**_ You said with a forced smile.

Then you realized the stupid thing you said but it was too late to regret. Darren was now looking at you frowning, as if he was confused and thinking about something. And Brian looked down and bit his lower lip as he was shaking his head, like saying 'I can't believe you just said something as stupid as that; you screwed it when finally everything was going well.' And you tried your best to play dumb.

_**"Yeah... Thanks."**_ Darren answered still looking at you that way, now smiling kind of amused. Could he be making fun of you? Could he be thinking how stupid you were?

You wouldn't know, because he left right away. He left the dining hall to go on a date with some girl. Good.

* * *

_**"Oh man, I can't believe we fell asleep. They're gonna kill us. Oh fuck! Ten missed calls." **_I exclaimed still sleepy, but getting up really abruptly on this Saturday morning. _**"Dude, I'm not used to wake up so early on a Saturday morning, this should be a crime."**_

_**"Dammit, Darren! Stop complaining and get dressed, we don't have time! Where the fuck is my bag?"**_ Joey asked, apparently also edgy because we fell asleep and we were really late.

_**"Oh, holy shit! I knew I should have prepared my bag last night!" **_I exclaimed annoyed when I realized I still didn't have my bag with all the stuff I needed because last night I was feeling lazy.

_**"Are you fucking kidding me, Darren? Don't you have your bag yet? Oh damn."**_ Joey exclaimed in disbelief.

_**"Well, I never planned to fall asleep."**_ I replied kind of annoyed, rubbing my eyes. _**"It won't take me so long; it's just a bag with some clothes and shit." **_

_**"Yeah, yeah, whatever. You do it now. I'll look for my bag..."**_ Joey said leaving the bedroom.

So there I was, looking for some clothes to put in my bag, two hours later than it should have been. Surely the guys would be really mad at us because they really wanted us to be punctual. But why the hell did we have to go there so early on a Saturday morning? It just had no sense. Now it was 10am and we were supposed to be in downtown at 8am. I knew it was a moderately long trip to Munising; it was 322 miles so it was going to take us about 6 hours to arrive there; but still. I grabbed some clothes and coats and I put it all in my bag; I also put a flashlight, some blankets and towel, a pocket knife, an insect repellent and sun block, my deodorant and toothbrush, a sleeping bag and all the shit you need to bring to camp. While doing all of this, I was thinking about Freckles and the lunch we had together the day before. I gotta admit that when Meredith proposed me to join them for lunch, at first I didn't like the idea so much, considering the way Freckles and I ended up that night after that stupid game of questions and answers. But then I remembered the plan I had, or actually what I wanted to do, that it was to try to talk to her and just be friendly, to get to know her again as starting over; so that lunch could be a good excuse. Meredith told me that Freckles was with a friend of her, but I never expected that the friend could be Brian. Yeah, I was surprised and I didn't like so much seeing him. Anyway, I tried to be nice to him and forget all the bad things he has done in high school and I only tried to remember the way he helped me out with Freckles the last time. The point is that during the lunch I realized that Brian wasn't a bad guy, maybe he also changed as Freckles did. It was cool to talk to him, and it was cool to talk to Freckles. Freckles, who looked so damn gorgeous and sexy; I really had to make a big effort not to tell her all of those things, because I didn't want her to think that I was a fucknut's stalker. Well, at first Freckles was acting as cold as that night; but then, I don't know why and how, when I returned with the food, she was very nice, friendly, funny and so open. I really loved that, the way she was finally acting nice to me with no alcohol involved. I had a great time with her and I wished that it could keep being like that. There was only one thing that was concerning me, and it was the fact she wasn't eating well and she didn't want to eat more than a poor salad; I really needed to talk to her about it, but in that moment it didn't feel proper. Well, then they invited me to go to a gallery or something, but unfortunately I couldn't. Damn, I really wanted to go, but I'd promised the brothers Matt and Nick Lang that I was going to meet them to talk about an idea for a play. The funny thing was when I joked that I had a date; I didn't say it provocatively to see her reaction, I just joked about it. The point is that she actually thought I had a date with a girl... Maybe it was all on my mind and I was picturing things that weren't, but she seemed to be kinda intrigued to know who the girl was, and if there even existed a girl. Yeah, maybe keeping her intrigued about my new life could be positive for me in order to get closer to her, just as a friend. Maybe that way she would be interested on me and she would talk to me often. Oh well, that was amazing; I really needed to do it. I needed to tell Joey about this idea I had, so he could tell me his opinion. So I walked out the bedroom to find him while putting stuff in my bag, so I couldn't look at him.

_**"Hey, Joey. You know? I was thinking about something that I could make with Freckles to make her change her mind and I think it actually could work... I could make her..." **_

_**"What do you want to make me?" **_A voice very different than Joey's voice asked.

I abruptly looked up for the sudden fright I felt and I found Freckles looking at me very intrigued and Joey looking at me with eyes wide open.

_**"Oh damn shit!"**_ I yelled and I quickly covered my lower body with my bag because I was still only in my underwear. _**"Shit, shit! What are you doing here?" **_I asked edgily while still trying to cover my body.

_**"Calm down, Darren. It's not as if I've never seen you half-naked."**_ Freckles said giggling and I looked at her astonished.

_**"Okay guys... I think I'll give you some privacy..."**_ Joey said raising his eyebrows. _**"I... I'll be in downtown with the guys, Darren. Hurry up."**_

I didn't answer anything because I was still stunned by her presence here, so Joey just left. Oh crap, what was she doing here? How did she know where my room was? Why didn't Joey tell me she was here? Why did I have to talk about her right in that moment? Why the fuck was I in my underwear? But mostly, why would she come over here without telling me? Not that I had her phone number or she had mine, but she could have asked Meredith my number so she could notify me she was coming. Why?

_**"What...?"**_ I started asking, still very stunned. _**"Be right back, I'll dress up."**_

_**"Okay, will be here." **_She answered softly.

_**"Right..."**_ I answered and I turned around as I felt how she was looking at me while I was walking to the bedroom.

_**"Interesting..."**_ I heard her saying. Oh fuck...

I quickly dressed up with the first thing I found. Damn, I was so nervous for no reason; she was making me feel nervous, her simple presence. The fact that she caught me right in the moment I was talking about her was making me feel nervous; and the fact that she saw me only in my underwear. And why the hell would she say interesting? What did she mean? Could she have liked how I looked?

_"Stop thinking about stupid things and go out there, Darren!"_ I scolded myself. _"Such an idiot, being nervous for something so insignificant like this. What are you? Twelve?"_

So I just first looked in the mirror to check if I was looking presentable. Damn, what was I doing? I was trying to look handsome for her. I had to remind myself that I was only trying to be her friend. Her friend, nothing more. Anyway, I combed my hair with my fingers and I practiced some silly faces before leaving the bedroom. She was entertained reading some of the scripts I had to read that were above the table. And then is when I realized that our room was a complete mess. Such a shame!

_**"So..."**_ I started saying looking around and she looked at me. _**"Welcome to college! It's like a special version of real life that has trash just sort of laying around everywhere."**_ I tried to joke about the mess and she laughed. It worked, at least.

_**"Oh yeah, don't worry about that. We also have our own mess in our room."**_ She replied with a funny smile and her smile just made me smile.

_**"You gotta be kidding me; your room is totally awesome, with all of those paintings and shit."**_ I said.

_**"Shit?"**_ She asked laughing. _**"I like your expression, that thing of totally awesome. I guess it's totally awesome to say." **_She said smiling amused and I couldn't help it smiling brightly.

_**"It really is, you should implement it to your everyday vocabulary." **_I said and she nodded. _**"Well... So..." **_

_**"Can I ask you something?"**_ She interrupted me.

_**"Yeah, sure..."**_ I replied suspiciously.

_**"What did you want to make me?"**_ She asked intrigued.

_**"Umm... Nothing?"**_ I replied trying to think quickly what to answer. She only looked at me raising an eyebrow, tremendously intrigued. _**"Just that I wanted to try to make you come with me... to...er... that gallery."**_

_**"Yeah, sure... Leave it there."**_ She said chuckling. She knew perfectly that I wasn't being honest but she didn't seem to be mad. Maybe that was a good sign. Still, I wanted to know why she was here.

_**"So, what are you doing here?"**_ I asked suspiciously. I really had no idea why she could be here.

_**"I want to talk to you."**_ She answered firmly. _**"About what happened to us in high school. I think it's time for us to have that talk." **_

So then I started feeling nervous. I was wishing this day to come, but now... Umm.

_**"Umm... Sorry. I can't do that." **_I replied uncomfortable, looking down.


	35. Battle of songs

A/N: Hi everybody! Well, first off, I'm sorry because I'm updating later than usual. It's because I just finished watching AVPSY. And I have no idea how I'm gonna make this right now because I have too many feelings right now! I'll keep in mind that 'Okay is wonderful' and it was totally awesome! Besides that, I had a completely amazing day, so I'm very thrilled and so yeah, I just can't think too much! I'm just very happy and sad and thrilled and just a mess of feelings! But mostly good feelings! I'll just say 'What a day!' and I'll stop boring you with my personal stuff! Wait, just one more thing... I think I'm Hermione Granger! She said: 'My passion is Fanfiction'. Oh man! Thanks, Hermione! Okay, now... Back to this fanfic. I really don't have too much to say cause, as I already said, I can't think too much right now, so excuse my lack of formulating coherent and concise lines. With this little warning, I'll start answering you! So, here I go, motherfuckers (don't take this to heart, just thinking about Starkid):

amritsoomal: The chapter ended because I love the cliffhangers and I'm cruel! At least I don't kill people, cause killing people doesn't make them like you, it just makes them dead (of course quoting Starkid). Oh, they will talk eventually! The will, they will...Not yet, though. Meredith and Brian? Do you think they're gonna get together? Maybe yes and maybe not. And Joey and Mandy? Oh, that's interesting. I already know who Joey's hook up was, but I won't spoil it! But I did love the idea of a big happy family, tho! I really hope you can enjoy this new chapter and I hope it can be good as you mentioned!

alicegursk: What Dafuq, man?! What the devil is going on with Darren? Tell me what's wrong. What's the matter, Harry? I mean, Darren. (Sorry, too excited for avpsy!). I really loved the idea of Darren making her jealous! I love it, when Darren is jealous. Yes, everything is hard and don't get me started with my second thoughts, Alice! Do you think Brian likes Freckles? Well, after few chapters you'll know more about Brian and his relationship with Freckles! But I love when you start telling your assumptions! Darren will talk but not yet, or yes... It depends on my crazy little biatch mind, that motherfucker. I'll keep it in mind about Come What May and I'll definitely do it, one way or another! I love you like a love song baby! haha.

Guest: The cliffhangers are part of me! They took over my body! Please, call the wizard cops! Cliffhangers, they little shit! (so very into Starkid mood right now, sorry)

SamCollinsHolmes: I know you'll understand my Starkid and AVPSY feelings! Why, Gab, why? I cried like for hours! It is over! And it was totally awesome and okay is wonderful, but I'm not okay but at the same time I am. Ah! I know you understand me, I know, I know, I know. Just feelings. Okay, I'll stop freaking you out. Remind this: 'Joe Walker is dead.' He is not, bitches! Harry Potter taught him how to love. And he guesses that's what Harry Potter's all about. And I second this! You surely enjoyed Joe shirtless! Not water involved, though. That guy is amazing, he is totally awesome, all of him. I understand your point of view about dorks and I fully agree with you! That is what I meant and I couldn't explain! haha. I'll try not to scare you anymore, but you have to understand that I'm a bad, terrible, outrageous person and most of the time I'm joking... or not. Why do you hate Blaine? Why? No! Do not do that! Because I am a blainer and I don't want you to hate me! But I guess I'm a blainer because I love Darren; but I actually love Klaine mostly. Come on, Klaine is the only reason I watch Glee! Mostly. I understand about Chris, because I was in love with Chris before I fell in love with Darren! Chris is inspirational, and funny and clever. Yes, you better remember to tell me when they give you a response! I'm so excited for you and I really, but really hope they can accept you! Then you could go to all the places I mention in Ann Arbor and remember me somehow! Do not forget me, Gab! Am I in a new level of goddess-like? I didn't even know I was like a goddess! I feel like Venus. I won't opine about Mia because I don't know a damn shit about her, so I don't know if she's a good or bad person; I only know she blocked me on Twitter and I don't even know why because I never tweeted her. I knew you were going to love Brian, I love him too, but this is a secret. And I'm almost sure that you're gonna love him more and more and more when you get to read, I don't know, I think it's from chapter 40 on. Oh, yeah! Joey is a deep man behind the red wig! He wants love, cookies and also the blue headband! You wanna know a secret? I completely suck at giving advices in real life, like in person! I am terrible, I suck, someone should make me shut up when I do it. I only can write them, but somehow I cannot say them in person, like what the fuck is wrong with me? So I feel kind sad too. Hey, why have you had a shitty week? You know? Even if I'm a sucker and all of that, if you need someone to talk to, I'm right here! You just have to send me a letter with an owl; I mean a tweet or pm, and that's all! And yo! Who do you think Joey's hook up is? I'm intrigued to know what you think. I already know who is it, but I'd like to know what you think, my Sherlock! Giving you all the love from earth to Pigfarts via Rumbleroar, your Moriarty!

Vcriss: I'll give you the credit anyway because I'm a stubborn person and when I propose something, I do it! Even if it wasn't an idea for you, I took it such as that, so yeah, you do deserve the credit! And do not say anything else; it's a decision already made!

AnSofiekeeeh: Thank you a lot An Sofie! By the way, I love your name. You're gonna read more now and you're gonna read all this year long this story, only if you keep reading it, of course; something I will not force you to do; because even if I'm cruel and all with the drama, the cliffhangers and things like those; I'm a nice person; trust me! I'm so very glad that you love drama, even if it's secretly! Drama is like... I don't know! Like passion, haha. Me and my stupid analogies! Aw thank you for saying I'm awesome, and for saying that I think you are the awesome here!

caarolineboeira: What the hell is wrong with Darren? Sometimes I don't understand him. Sometimes I don't understand Freckles and sometimes I don't understand anything of what I write. But I write anyway. Oh! Freckles' secret! Maybe she doesn't have only one secret, maybe she has a lot of secrets, or maybe she has no secrets! So, I'll make you feel curious because I'm a bad person. Haha. Does Brian like Freckles or Meredith? Or is he gay? Or is he an alien? But Brian is sweet (or not?) and you'll find out soon, not so soon, more things about Brian! Brian becomes an important part of this story, just as Joey; just like Jen was. Yeah, Freckles is totally insane! I never ever in my entire life ate only a salad because I just can't! I don't like salads so much and I just eat too much. Oh jealousy! Jealousy, jealousy, jealousy; there will be a lot of jealousy in this second part! That's granted. Because I love when one of the is jealous, I don't know why. Yes I did write a note! I won't forget it, promise! I just love greeting people for their birthdays, I don't know why, but I love that!

Kaylacriss332: I totally, completely, certainly picture Brian as a very hot guy. Like, I'd totally go for him, kidnap him, tie him and rape him after his approval; or not. I know, like what the devil is wrong with Criss? Man, you gotta do something! At least come for her, just come for her. Don't worry about the dirty mind, I always try to control myself, because I'm really, but really perverted and I'm all the time saying things with double meanings. So your comment just made me laugh!

MeMi83: Yes, they'll get along... Sometimes. You know how I am and how my mind is! Will Darren discuss about what happened in high school? Yes, he will; but not yet. I don't know if he did something wrong; I know actually. But I'll let you read it instead, only that maybe you won't get it in this chapter precisely! The cliffhanger will be revealed in this chapter, but maybe you're gonna get another one in this chapter! I hope you can enjoy the chapter, though! Lots of warm fuzzies, jars of Nutella and smiley suns for you, Memi!

TeamBrian: Oh my wizard God! There's a Team Brian! Oh gosh! Can I fangirl? I love Brian. I'm also a sucker for boys like him! Charming, sweet, handsome and sexy. He'd be like the perfect boyfriend for me. And let me tell you something Rachel, if you already like Brian... Wait to see after a few chapters! Maybe you'll fall in love with him, just as I did. I don't know, your review made me smile, because I never thought there could be someone shipping 'Sunny' and Brian! But I do like that. And don't worry, because I'm planning to make this story really long, in average it'll have like 90 chapters! So yeah, you'll get a lot! I hope you don't get bored of it! Thank you very much for your nice words, Rachel! You really made me smile when you said I'm a good author! I wish I can be that and I hope not never disappoint you! And geez! Your comment about the Saturday being your new favorite day of the week made me grin like a fool! Thanks! xoxo.

Nicole: Nicole, you were my 300th review! YAY! Just because you were my 300th review, I'll let you ask me whatever you want and I'll answer you in the next chapter! It's like a sort of an award; it's not a big deal what I'm proposing you, but at least it's something! And I agree with you when you said that Adam will never beat Blaine! Like, I felt upset when Adam said that thing of the movie; it was cute, but no. He shouldn't mess around Kurt because Kurt belongs to Blaine forever and ever, come what may.

Vicky: It's okay that you didn't review the other chapter! Really, don't worry about it, I'm just glad that you're reading this story and I cannot ask for more! They will talk, not in this chapter, but soon. Maybe, actually, in this chapter you'll get something. Darren will confess Freckles about what happened that night, eventually. And Freckles... Well, she has changed, she's not the same girl than before, so her reaction could be very weird. You'll know also what happened to her since that night. But I do think this part has a lot of comings and goings!

So that was it all guys! And here you have a new chapter! I hope you can enjoy it! Oh, by the way, considering I got a review by 'TeamBrian' I'd like to ask you... What team are you? Vote for: "Team Darren", "Team Brian" or "Team go to hell Lucy I won't answer this". Now seriously I'll let you read! I wish you a week full of flying diaries (Journals), Felix Felicis potions, and Scarfy and Sorty love! Oh my wizard god, Scarfy! :'(. Okay, take it easy Hogwarts, it's been totally awesome! Goodbye!

* * *

**Teenage Dream – Chapter 35 – Battle of songs.**

* * *

_**"Umm... Sorry. I can't do that."**_ Darren said.

You were there to finally talk to him. You got the guts to ask Meredith where Darren lived to go and talk about something you were avoiding since the time he left. You, after a long year that took you to overcome what he did; you, after days you spent thinking if talking to him was the best option; you, the one who was rejected before, was being rejected again. But this time, being rejected wasn't going to affect you as much as it affected you when he dumped you in high school. Yes, it was tough to hear he didn't want to talk. Yes, it hurt you. Yes, you were expecting something else. But this time you weren't going to fall apart as the last time; you had a year to learn it. You only looked at him in silence, only showing him through your eyes how disappointed you were feeling. At least, you tried to talk and that allowed you to have a clear conscience. You tried, he was the one who refused and you shouldn't feel bad for it. Yeah, that was what you wanted to convince to yourself; but the pain in the chest was still there.

_**"Alright..."**_ You said looking away. _**"That was all I wanted. And if you don't want to do it; well, it was your choice." **_You said almost in a listless way, now looking at him. He only looked at you frowning. _**"I hope you have a good day, Darren."**_

Like that, you turned around to leave, decided to not try to do this again. This time you weren't going to be again the first to talk. And besides, you should have never been the first to talk; because he was the one who disappeared, leaving you helpless. However, you weren't going to feel angry; because, as Brian said, being angry would lead you nowhere. You weren't going to let anything overshadow your happiness, not even being rejected. But when you were about to walk to the door, Darren took you by your arm.

_**"Hey, wait..."**_ Darren whispered.

You turned your face to look at him. He was still frowning, but frowning in confusion. You only looked at his hand touching your arm and then you looked at Darren again, serious. This made him feel nervous, so he let out your arm; but he kept looking into your eyes.

_**"I never said I didn't want to talk to you; I said that I can't. I can't right now, because my friends are waiting for me, we're going to Munising to spend the weekend and I'm already two hours later. And I don't want to talk about what happened to us in a shallow way, because this talk is important to me. I want to talk about this in a moment we both can sit and be quiet for hours, knowing that time isn't against us."**_ Darren explained still frowning and looking into your eyes. Oh wow, maybe Brian was right, maybe you tended to overthink everything.

_**"Well... Look for me when you have the time to do it."**_ You said still serious; because somehow you were still feeling kinda rejected. _**"I hope you can have a good time with your friends, then."**_ You said and you turned around to leave again.

This time you walked to the door and you opened it, but then you noticed how Darren closed the door abruptly from behind you to prevent you from leaving. So then you turned around abruptly to look at him kind of bewildered. What was he doing? Now you were really close; he was just six inches away from you, he was extending his arm to keep the door closed and his arm was right above your shoulder and it was slightly touching it. You were face to face and Darren was looking deeply into your eyes. You remained looking into each other's eyes for a while. Like the old times, you thought; but you quickly dispelled that thought from your mind. Darren lowered his gaze to your lips and he stared at them for a little before looking into your eyes again. Why were you feeling nervous? Why were you feeling a tickling in your whole body? Not that you never had this feeling when you were with Darren; but it wasn't supposed to feel like that now.

_**"I propose you something."**_ Darren whispered, still looking deeply into your eyes. You weren't able to talk and you hated it, you hated to have that feeling. _**"You can take it or leave it. But I do hope you can take it."**_

_**"What?"**_ You asked weakly while you were still feeling how his arm was touching your shoulder.

_**"Why don't you come with us to Munising? We can talk there. We can find a quiet place where nobody is gonna interrupt us. I'd really like it."**_ Darren said looking deeply, almost piercingly, into your eyes.

_**"I don't know, Darren... I don't wanna screw your trip, I'm not invited..."**_ You replied looking away; even though, very inside your heart, you wanted to go.

_**"Yes, you're invited. I'm inviting you right now. And how come you can think that you're gonna screw our trip? Geez, that's stupid; you could never do it..." **_Darren exclaimed, frowning.

_**"You have to think about your friends, Darren. Maybe they won't like the idea of me, a random person, joining you."**_ You said, still looking away.

_**"You're not a random person, Freckles. You'll never be a random person for me, not even if we're not the same as before."**_ Darren whispered and you finally looked into his eyes. He was looking at you very fixedly and you could notice that he really meant it. Damn, why were you feeling so touchy? _**"And you know that my friends like you; as all the people who meet you, they always like you. Yeah, you always had that ability and you haven't lost it, I noticed."**_ He said giggling softly, but not in an amused or mocking way, but in an adorable and kind way. _**"So, what do you say? Do you wanna come with me?"**_ He asked, now placing the hand that closed the door on your shoulder. You shivered at his touch, but he didn't move his hand away.

_**"I... Even if I want to, I can't... Because I have nothing prepared to go there and I can't go with these clothes."**_ You said uncomfortable, looking down.

_**"That's not a problem at all. We can go to your room and I can help you to pack some stuff."**_ He said shrugging with a smile.

_**"I..."**_ You babbled, not knowing what to do.

_**"You have no excuses, Freckles. You can either go or not if you want or not, there's not any other reason that can make you accept or deny my proposal. It's only if you want. So, what I'm asking you is if you want to come with me to Munising." **_Darren said smiling slightly and you looked into his eyes for a while. You knew that maybe you were going to regret but...

_**"Yes, I want."**_ You answered, after taking a deep breathe. The only thing that made you feel less regretted was the way he smiled brightly.

_**"I'm so glad!"**_ He exclaimed cheerfully, squeezing smoothly your shoulder. _**"Well, just... Just give me a second to finish packing my stuff and then we can go to your room. Okay?" **_

_**"Okay, fine."**_ You replied grinning softly.

Darren didn't take so long to pack all of his stuff. He only grabbed a big bag and his guitar. Then, as he said, he accompanied you to your room. Meredith wasn't there because she left early in the morning, surely to go to that place you were going to go now. So it was only you and Darren. Once there, you really didn't know what you should pack because you didn't know how Munising was. Was this a good idea? Yeah, maybe it was; it wasn't time to regret now.

_**"This may sound very stupid... But what should I pack?"**_ You asked awkwardly and Darren giggled.

_**"I think I can help you with that, if you don't mind..."**_ He said and you shook your head. Of course you didn't mind, for that you asked him so. _**"Well, first of all, you'll need a bag. Do you have one?"**_

_**"Yes, yes I have one. But it's not as big as yours."**_ You replied.

_**"Okay, show me it."**_ Darren said and you nodded. You walked to your bedroom and he didn't follow you.

_**"You can come over here, Darren."**_ You yelled from the bedroom when you realized he probably didn't follow you because he thought it was inappropriate.

_**"Okay... Is that alright if I come in?"**_ Darren asked from the door and you just looked at him, raising your eyebrows.

_**"Yes, it is; come on."**_ You replied and chuckled softly. Then you pulled out your bag and you showed it to Darren. _**"This is the biggest bag I have."**_

_**"Oh well, yeah... It may be a problem..."**_ Darren said frowning when he saw it. Yes, it wasn't so big. _**"Don't worry; you can put some of your stuff in my bag for now. But then remind me that I have to buy you a new bag."**_ He said giggling.

_**"Okay, thanks."**_ You said smiling kindly. _**"So... What should I bring?" **_

_**"Okay, let's see... Personal stuff you'll need is: a toothbrush, a comb, a deodorant, umm... I can lend you my insect repellent and sun block. That's the essential."**_ He replied and you nodded as you started looking for all of that stuff.

_**"You can sit on my bed, Darren."**_ You said when you noticed he didn't know what to do while you were searching all the things he mentioned. _**"Okay, I have it all... What else?"**_

_**"Clothes. It's still summer, but Munising tends to be cold at night. And we're going to go camping at Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore; so you'll need comfortable clothes and coats. And you probably would want to change that dress you're wearing now."**_ Darren said and you nodded.

_**"Good."**_ You said and starting looking for some clothes. That was a problem, because most of the clothes you had were dresses, unlike the clothes you had in high school. _**"Umm... I don't know... Maybe this?"**_ You asked unsure, showing Darren a pair of tight jeans and a short t-shirt.

_**"Er... no."**_ He said frowning, looking at the clothes. _**"Don't you have something like... more loose?"**_

_**"I don't know."**_ You answered frowning as you started to pull out all your clothes and drop them on the floor. Darren was just looking at you. _**"Would you help me to find something? Because I honestly don't know what to choose."**_

_**"Yeah, sure."**_ Darren said standing up and he walked to you. He kneeled right next to the pile of clothes on the floor. _**"What about this?"**_ Darren said showing you a pair of old jeans you had.

_**"No... Those don't fit on me anymore."**_ You answered frowning.

_**"What are you saying?"**_ He asked frowning, confused. _**"Freckles, I'm pretty sure these jeans fit on you."**_

_**"No..."**_

_**"Just try them on."**_ He said kind of bossy, handing you the jeans.

_**"Alright."**_ You sighed and you took off your dress to try on the jeans.

_**"Oh, umm..."**_ Darren exclaimed kind of uncomfortable and then he turned his face to avoid looking at you.

You looked at him frowning, confused. Then you realized why he was uncomfortable and it was because you were in your underwear in front of him. Well, you didn't think it could be so inappropriate because you used to do this with Brian that was only your friend. Then you remembered that Darren and you weren't friends.

_**"Sorry, I didn't want to make you feel uncomfortable..."**_ You apologized.

_**"No, it's okay."**_ Darren answered, still looking away.

_**"You can see me, Darren. There's nothing you haven't seen before."**_ You replied, putting on the old jeans.

_**"Fine..."**_ He answered in a whisper and he looked at you again as you were still trying to put on the jeans. You noticed that he looked at your entire body surreptitiously; but for some reason he was frowning.

_**"Well, see? These jeans don't fit on me."**_ You proved him and Darren kept looking at you frowning.

_**"Yeah, that's because those jeans are oversized big jeans for you. I remember you used to wear them in high school... You've lost too much weight, Freckles."**_ Darren said serious, still frowning.

_**"Yes, maybe I've lost a little weight."**_ You said shrugging; now looking away.

_**"Not just a little; too much weight. You're very slim, Freckles; you should eat a little more..."**_ He opined, still serious.

_**"Whatever..."**_ You said a bit upset. Was he scolding you? _**"That wasn't the point. The point is that I can't wear these jeans." **_

_**"You could if you just eat a little mor..."**_

_**"Stop it, Darren. I don't wanna talk about what I eat and what not."**_ You interrupted him abruptly and he looked up at you, serious.

_**"Okay, fine..."**_ Darren said sighing and looking away. _**"Then tell me which of these clothes aren't big for you..." **_

_**"All the dresses... And the tight jeans... And those long skirts; oh, the short jeans too."**_ You replied, pointing him the clothes.

_**"Okay, umm... None of those clothes will be useful..." **_He said frowning. _**"But well, you could bring the jeans, but you won't be comfortable." **_

_**"Well, I never expected to go camping someday..."**_ You answered sighing, taking off that old jean.

_**"That's alright..."**_ Darren said looking away again. _**"Remind me to buy you also comfortable clothes."**_

_**"Yeah..."**_ You replied putting on one of your new jeans and a simple white t-shirt. You were starting to think that maybe you shouldn't go.

_**"Hey wait..."**_ Darren suddenly exclaimed. _**"Do you have a belt?"**_

_**"No, I'm not used to wear belts."**_ You answered frowning.

_**"Okay..."**_ Darren said standing up and taking off his belt. _**"Put on your old jeans again."**_

_**"What? No..."**_ You refused when you realized what he was trying to do.

_**"Come on, Freckles. Just do it."**_ He demanded kind of bossy and you sighed. But you did it. _**"Good, just let me try something."**_

Darren walked to you with his belt on his hand. You just looked at him frowning but resigned. He placed his hands on your hips and you shivered at his touch, but you did nothing. He took the end of the belt without the buckle and pulled it through the belt loops until the belt was all the way around your hips and then he pulled the non-buckle end through the buckle opening until he placed the metal notch into one of the holes on the belt. It was weird to see Darren doing this for you; but you let him for some reason. Somehow, you enjoyed being close to him and feel his touch; even if it was wrong to feel it. Then he stepped back and looked at you.

_**"See? Now you can wear those jeans."**_ He said smiling satisfied.

_**"I don't know, this is your belt."**_ You said a bit uncomfortable.

_**"Oh, come on. I don't need it; you can keep it. Just a simple and humble gift."**_ He said smiling friendly.

_**"Okay, thank you."**_ You said smiling just as friendly.

_**"You're welcome."**_ He grinned. _**"Okay, let's get this shit done. Coats, make sure to bring a good one. Underwear... And you will also need blankets and a towel. Oh! And a sleeping bag."**_

_**"I don't have one..."**_ You said frowning. How the hell were you supposed to have one?

_**"Really?"**_ He asked frowning, surprised and concerned at the same time. _**"Oh man, you really need one. I know Joe had two sleeping bags, but he's already at downtown."**_

_**"I... See, Darren? Everything is like telling me that I shouldn't go."**_ You said huffing, looking away.

_**"Hey no! Let's do something... Bring another blanket. I'll lend you my sleeping bag and I'll sleep on the blanket. Problem solved."**_ He said grinning and you shook your head.

_**"I can't do that! That is your sleeping bag! How would you sleep in a blanket? No..."**_ You refused strongly.

_**"Yes! I can sleep everywhere, you know? Even on the ground."**_ Darren said convincingly, but he didn't get it.

You still refused to do it. He noticed it, so he held both of your hands and you looked at him frowning, kind of disgruntled for this. Not that you didn't like it, the problem actually was that you liked it and it was wrong. Anyway, you didn't move your hands away.

_**"Come on, Freckles. I really want you to go."**_ He said looking deeply into your eyes and your body, your stupid body, started trembling. You couldn't say no after this.

_**"Okay, but only if you sleep in your sleeping bag and I sleep in the blanket."**_ You said trying to avoid his intense gaze.

_**"We will see... But pretend I answered yes."**_ Darren said giggling softly and then he kissed your hands. What the hell? Now you really moved your hands away and he noticed he shouldn't have done it. _**"Sorry..."**_

_**"It's okay."**_ You answered looking away. _**"Well, so... Just let me pack that stuff."**_

_**"Yes. Do you want me to help you? You can put the blankets and towel in my bag."**_ Darren said.

So Darren helped you to pack everything while looking amused some of your most extravagant clothes, telling you all the time that those were 'totally awesome' clothes. Once you were ready, you took a bus to go to downtown, where everybody was waiting for you two to arrive... Actually they were waiting only for Darren to arrive. The trip to there was quiet; you didn't talk too much and if you talked was about silly and random things, mostly jokes. Darren was the first to get out the bus.

_**"Darren, what the hell, man? We've been waiting for you for more than two hours!"**_ You heard someone complaining while you were grabbing your bag to get out of the bus. This was surely your fault...

_**"Sorry, I swear that I have a logical explanation for that."**_ Darren said giggling.

_**"Why are you laughing, Darren? This is not funny, you promised not to fall asleep!"**_ Another person complained. And you finally walked to get out of the bus.

_**"Hi."**_ You greeted shyly. Yes, it was awkward; they didn't know that you were coming and you didn't know if they were going to like it. A lot of friends of Darren were there, including Meredith.

_**"Freckles?"**_ Meredith asked curiously, frowning but with a smile.

_**"Yeah, she's the explanation, Joe. So stop complaining."**_ Darren said looking at you with a bright smile. _**"Let me help you, Freckles."**_

Darren walked to you and he extended his hand and you held it to make your way down the big steps at the front of the bus. Once you were outside, Darren didn't let out your hand. He kept holding it and you were aware of this, but you played dumb. It was just something very harmless, why would you let out his hand?

_**"She's coming with us, guys!" **_Darren exclaimed cheerfully, still holding your hand.

_**"Really?"**_ Meredith asked excited. _**"That's amazing! I haven't invited you because you told me you had to study, but it's so great you could make it! You're gonna have so much fun, I promise!"**_

_**"Well, hello!"**_ Joe greeted you with a flirty smile and you just smiled kindly. _**"Only because you brought her, you're forgiven, Darren."**_

_**"Yeah, yeah, whatever, Joe."**_ Darren answered frowning. You noticed how Joey and Darren exchanged a look, but you couldn't tell what it was for.

_**"I hope you can be ready to have some crazy time with us!"**_ Lauren said smiling amused.

_**"Yes, it's great you could come; now we'll have the chance to know you more."**_ Julia said smiling friendly. Then she looked at your hands holding and then she exchanged a look with Darren, a confused kind of look. Well, it felt awkward; but still, you didn't let out his hand and he either.

_**"You really don't mind that I came, without saying anything? I mean... Umm, I don't wanna be a bother."**_ You said politely, looking at them all. Everybody, including Darren, looked at you frowning.

_**"Of course not." **_Brian answered still frowning and with a smile. _**"You're always welcome, you should feel part of our team, you know? I already told you that you're like us."**_ He said and that made you smile.

_**"I told you they like you, Freckles."**_ Darren whispered in your ear and you chuckled, happily.

_**"Well, we should go or we're gonna arrive at night."**_ A girl that you didn't know said. _**"I'm Bonnie, by the way." **_

_**"Oh yeah, right. She's Bonnie, that girl over there is Jaime; that guy over there is Dylan and that tiny guy is Joe Moses." **_Darren said pointing you each one of them as they made silly gestures to greet you, what made you laugh. They seemed to be a very funny group of people. _**"And where are Matt and Nick Lang? And Liam, Nico, Elona, Britney and the other guys?"**_

_**"They couldn't make it this weekend."**_ Joe Moses said, shrugging.

_**"Oh too bad. Well, you'll meet them another day."**_ Darren said looking at you while smiling friendly and you nodded.

_**"Well, let's move our ass, ladies!"**_ Joe Walker exclaimed and everybody laughed.

So everybody started walking; you right next to Darren, still holding hands. Yes, this was weird but it felt good, like the old times. Not even with your ex-boyfriend, Ian, you felt so comfortable to hold hands while walking. You always thought that Darren's hand fit perfectly with yours. Some of his friends were looking at you both intrigued and then you remembered that it wasn't normal to hold hands with someone that wasn't your lover; but it was always different with Darren; even when Darren and you were only friends, you used to hold hands. Yeah, he wasn't your friend now and he was the guy who dumped you; but just for this moment you wanted to forget it; you were simply feeling good, somehow.

_**"Where are we going? I mean, how are we gonna get to that place we're going?"**_ You asked in a whisper to Darren.

_**"Oh, haven't I told you?" **_Darren asked frowning, with a funny smile. _**"We're gonna go walking. Oh yeah, we all need to work-out."**_ He said laughing as you nudged him playfully while giggling. _**"Just kidding, we're going to The Greyhound Bus Station to go to Munising and from there we're going to the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore and there we're gonna camp in a backcountry campground along the North Country Trail." **_

_**"Oh, seems cool."**_ You said smiling brightly as Darren looked into your eyes, also smiling brightly.

_**"I think you'll like that place. It's a spectacular place for hiking, you're gonna be rewarded with exhilarating views! I'm not kidding, that place is beautiful, man."**_ Darren exclaimed excited.

_**"Have you gone already to that place?"**_ You asked intrigued.

_**"Yeah, I have."**_ He answered smiling softly.

_**"Oh, so it's not gonna be an adventure for you."**_ You said.

_**"Who told you that? It's always an adventure to visit places, even if you know those places; you never do the same things twice. And besides... I never went there with you. So yeah, it'll be an adventure for me too."**_ He said raising an eyebrow and looking at you amused as he squeezed your hand.

Well, you were going to be with Darren in apparently an exotic place in middle of nowhere... And you were going to spend the whole weekend with him. Yes, it was going to be an adventure; but you still didn't know if it was going to be a good or bad one.

* * *

_**"What a beautiful, wonderful, amazing place!"**_ I heard Freckles exclaiming out loud once we were already pitching the tents.

Oh man, it was so wonderful to see her so cheerful, so bright, so beautiful... so lively. She was being completely different than she was the last days since I met her again. I loved seeing her smiling, laughing, making jokes, getting along with my friends, jumping and running to and fro. I really liked this new Freckles and I was so eager to start knowing her again, to start over and become something important to her again.

_**"Hey man, what happened? Have you talked to her already?"**_ Joey asked while we were still pitching the tents.

_**"No, not yet."**_ I answered quiet. Somehow I was relaxed and I was feeling happy. Well, it was obvious; seeing her like that was making me happy.

_**"So why is she here? Why were you holding hands, buddy? And why is she this happy and you're seeing her like that?"**_ Joey asked so quickly.

_**"Hey, slow down."**_ I said laughing. _**"I just convinced her to come here to talk; she wanted to talk, man. That's a good sign, I guess."**_ I said smiling cheerfully. _**"And we were holding hands because... Well, because I took advantage of that moment that she didn't seem to mind. You know? Even when we were only friends in high school we used to hold hands; so it's not something too odd for us."**_

_**"Hey, Darren. What's up with you and Freckles?"**_ Julia suddenly asked intrigued.

_**"I was just telling that to Joey." **_

_**"Does Julia also know about Freckles and you?"**_ Joey asked.

_**"Yep. Only the two of you, guys."**_ I answered honestly, still smiling like a fool.

_**"What about Meredith?"**_ Julia asked intrigued.

_**"I think she doesn't know. Well, I didn't tell her anything, I don't know if Freckles did, but I don't think so."**_ I answered shrugging and frowning slightly. The truth was that I wasn't sure about it.

_**"Darren! Hey, is that girl your girl or something? She's pretty."**_ Joe Moses suddenly asked.

_**"I was wondering the same, you know?" **_Bonnie said next to Joe.

_**"Darren, what hell is going on with you and Freckles? As far as I know, you weren't close friends in high school. And now this? Why were you guys holding hands? I demand an explanation!"**_ Meredith exclaimed curiously and also confused. Oh geez, why was everybody asking me about Freckles?

_**"Whoa! You are bombarding me with questions!"**_ I exclaimed raising my eyebrows. _**"Freckles is... She was my friend in high school, okay? And just because we were holding hands doesn't mean that we're something more than friends. At least not for now..."**_ I said with a saucy smile. Yeah, man... I wouldn't hide it any longer.

_**"What do you mean with 'at least not for now', eh? Do you like her? Do you want to be more than her friend?"**_ Meredith asked really intrigued and almost suspiciously.

_**"Geez, Meredith!"**_ I exclaimed loudly, laughing softly and still with that saucy smile. I didn't answer her questions and I wasn't going to do it.

_**"You're not answering, Criss."**_ Meredith insisted.

_**"Hey, Dylan! Do you need help over there?"**_ I yelled and I walked to Dylan, amused. Yeah, I didn't want to answer for now, so I played dumb.

_**"No, no, I'm fine."**_ He answered.

_**"I'm pretty sure you need help. If not, you're gonna pretend that you need help."**_ I said laughing and he looked at me frowning.

_**"How do I do this? I mean, what is this for?"**_ I heard Freckles asking, looking at the Upright Pole.

_**"Oh my god. You've never gone camping, have you?"**_ I asked laughing, walking to her.

_**"Are you making fun of me?"**_ She asked frowning, smiling amused. _**"It's obvious, so the answer is needless." **_

_**"Let me help you, may I?"**_ I said standing right next to her and taking the Upright Pole.

_**"Okay, thanks."**_ She said smiling kindly and looking intently at me, as if she was waiting me to explain her how to do this.

_**"Well, this shit that I have now in my hands? This is an adjustable upright steel pole. It is useful for holding up tent doors to make awnings, creating washing lines and for supporting tarps."**_ I answered, looking at her amused.

_**"Oh, I see..."**_

_**"You didn't understand a damn shit, did you?"**_ I asked chuckling softly and she laughed.

_**"No, I didn't understand a damn shit."**_ She admitted, still laughing.

_**"I figured!"**_ I laughed out loud. _**"Alright, I'll tell you what we're gonna do."**_ I said and she nodded energetically. _**"This is a two-man tent, so it's not so hard to pitch it. First we have to push the shock-corded poles through the sleeves at the front and back of the tent. Then, we have to fit a plastic pole joint onto the tops of the two tent poles at the front of the tent and we have to do it again for the pair at the back of the tent. The front and back of the tent then will have a rigid triangular frame, formed by the two tent poles and the ground. Below, we have to slide one end of the remaining tent pole into the hole in the top of the plastic pole joint on the front of the tent. Then, we'll bend it down so we can fit it into the matching slot on the other plastic pole joint at the back of the tent. The end result will turn the remaining pole into a rigid arch across the top of the tent. The tent will be then pitched enough that it can stand on its own. Can we do that for now?"**_ I asked looking fixedly at her.

_**"Yeah, we can. But you'll have to help me, because when you explain something, it seems easy to do, even though I didn't understand anything; but when you put it into practice, it is a pain in the ass."**_ She said smiling amused.

_**"A pain in the ass? Ha! That's a good phrase!"**_ I said laughing out loud. _**"Okay, just help me to spread the shelter, that part isn't so hard." **_

It took us more time that it should have taken; but it was only because Freckles really seemed interested on learning how to do this, so she wanted to do everything by herself, and of course she was doing it wrong and I had to help her several times. I didn't mind to do it because I just loved spending time with her and I loved to explain her how to do certain things; usually she was the one who used to explain me everything, so I felt useful now. After we got it, we ran the nylon line through the small holes for it in the two plastic pole joints, tied the end at the back of the tent to a tent peg, and drove that peg into the ground; we attached the front end of the line to a tent peg, pulled the line taut, and drove that peg into the ground, too. We also pulled out the O-rings attached to the corners of the tent until they were taut, threaded a peg through the ring, and drove that peg into the ground. And finally, we threw the rain fly over the top of the tent and arranged it so that it was symmetrical.

_**"Alright! Look what you have done, Freckles! A damn perfect work! Look at your tent!"**_ I exclaimed excited as she bounced, also excited.

_**"We got it! It was so much fun!"**_ She exclaimed still excited and I looked deeply at her. It was adorable the way she could feel so happy for something so insignificant.

_**"Yay! Give me five!"**_ I exclaimed loudly and cheerfully and she gave me a high-five while giggling.

_**"We're the best team ever!"**_ She bounced excited.

_**"Oh well, well. I'm not sleeping in that tent. If Darren did it, I don't trust."**_ Lauren said raising her eyebrows and laughing.

_**"Hey!"**_ I exclaimed pretended to be offended. _**"We both did it and it's perfect."**_

_**"Yeah, sure! No one of us wants to die, so then only you two will sleep there, honey bunches of creamy pie." **_Lauren said looking at us amused and winking. She surely was also intrigued to know what was going on between us, but I played dumb again.

_**"No problem at all, we'll survive and I'll laugh in your face!"**_ I said challenging, in a playful way.

_**"Hell yeah, you'll envy us because our tent is the best one!"**_ Freckles said also challenging and laughing. I just looked at her amazed... So, did it mean that we were going to sleep together, only the two of us? I liked how it sounded, but I wasn't sure that Freckles was aware of that.

_**"I don't know if it's gonna be the best, but surely it'll be the warmest and hottest."**_ Lauren said winking, talking with double meaning. I just shook my head amused, but I didn't laugh because surely Freckles didn't get what Lauren actually meant.

_**"And maybe it'll be also the noisiest. Like a movie live and direct, you won't have to pay to rent a porn movie."**_ Freckles said mischievously, raising an eyebrow. I looked at her in shock. Was this Freckles saying something like that? Like, what the fuck? Lauren burst out laughing.

_**"Yes, girl. Definitely I like you!" **_Lauren said still laughing. _**"Oh my god, Darren. You've got a totally awesome girl."**_

_**"Yeah..."**_ I said still frowning and Lauren turned around and left. _**"What was that?"**_

_**"What was what?"**_ She asked amused, playing dumb.

_**"That thing of... Of the movie and all of that."**_

_**"Oh, the porn movie? Come on, Darren; we're not teens anymore, so don't be afraid to mention it."**_ She said giggling and I looked at her stunned. Oh geez, she was definitely different now. _**"I was just joking, no need to be so serious."**_

_**"Yeah, right."**_ I answered still stunned, but then I decided to be just as mischievous as her. Why not? I could have a little fun now. _**"But you know? I wouldn't mind at all to experiment that movie live and direct."**_ I whispered sensually in her ear while placing a hand on her waist.

_**"That you wish, Criss."**_ She said serious, softly pushing me away. Yeah, I shouldn't have done it.

_**"I was just kidding, Freckles."**_ I said frowning when I realized it was a mistake.

_**"Okay, fine."**_ She said looking away. _**"I'll see if someone needs some kind of help now that I know how to pitch a tent!"**_ She exclaimed.

She quickly turned around and walked away as I just looked down, cursing myself for saying something as stupid as that. Damn, I couldn't do anything right, man. I knew that she wouldn't like it because I tried to flirt with her already and it didn't go well; but I did it anyway like an idiot. I needed to talk to her first; but no, all I did was to flirt. What a jerk! When we finished pitching the tents, it was already dark. While others were placing the bags on the tents, I walked alone to gather tinder, kindling and logs. Everybody seemed to be really busy to accompany me, even Freckles. I tried to look at her direction and ask her to come with me, I wanted to be with her, but she never looked at me; she was fooling around with Joe Walker; they really seemed to get along since that day we played tennis. Then I remembered what Meredith told me: Freckles liked Joe. Well, I tried not to think about it, so I just went alone to clear my mind. So I was gathering dead dry plants and grasses, dry needles from coniferous trees, wood shavings, and dry twigs and wood pieces, placing them all in a kindling sack; until I heard a sound, a crack of a branch. I turned around abruptly, lighting with a flashlight in the direction from which the sound came.

_**"Who's there?" **_I asked gingerly. I was alone there, no one saw me.

And I heard the same crack of a branch, but this time coming from another direction, so I turned abruptly again. I was lighting the way, but no one seemed to be there. Maybe it was just a barred owl, a skunk, a mink or a chipmunk. But what if it was a white-tailed deer or a moose? Or even worse, what if it was a black bear or a wolf? Oh damn shit; that was why I shouldn't have come alone. What the fuck was wrong with me? No, I tried to relax; it was really weird to see an animal where people used to be. No, animals don't go to where the visitors often are. But the truth was that we chose a non-touristic place to camp and we were deep in the forest.

_**"This is not funny! Get out of there, whoever you are!"**_ I yelled, more frightened now.

No one answered and I heard the same sound, now even nearer. I lightened the place from which the sound came and there I saw it, a shadow running. But I couldn't tell if it was an animal or a person. Damn.

_**"Boo!"**_ I heard a yell behind me and then laughs.

That scared the crap out of me. I turned around to find Joey and Julia laughing out loud at my face.

_**"What the fuck?"**_ I exclaimed annoyed, while still panting because of the fear. My heart was still beating really fast. _**"That wasn't funny! I thought it was a wolf or a black bear. Fuck you."**_

_**"A wolf? Really, Darren?"**_ Joey asked still laughing, making fun of me.

_**"Wolves aren't where people are. They're not so foolish, you know?"**_ Julia said also laughing.

_**"Fuck you."**_ I said annoying, trying to calm down now.

_**"Come on, buddy! No need to be mad!" **_Joey said still laughing as he placed a hand on my shoulder and I nudged him.

_**"What are you doing here, anyway?"**_ I asked, still frowning.

_**"The question is what you are doing here alone."**_ Julia pointed.

_**"I just came to gather kindling, for the campfire, you idiots."**_ I said annoyed.

_**"Alone?"**_ Julia asked, raising an eyebrow.

_**"Yes, alone. Everybody was busy and it was going to get really dark. So yeah."**_ I answered as I crouched to grab a log. _**"And you?"**_

_**"We saw you coming here alone, so we were intrigued why you would be here."**_ Julia said shrugging.

_**"Well, now you know the reason."**_ I answered, still gathering tinder.

_**"Yeah, but you really had to come alone? Is that the only reason?"**_ Julia asked curiously.

_**"Yes, it is."**_ I answered curtly.

_**"Bullshit."**_ Joey exclaimed loudly, looking at me fixedly. _**"I know there's something else."**_

_**"And we're pretty sure that Freckles has something to do."**_ Julia added.

_**"Definitely."**_ Joey agreed, nodding.

_**"Ugh, why do you relate everything that happens to me to Freckles? It's not like that, you know."**_ I replied frowning, a bit annoyed; even if I knew they were right.

_**"Umm, let me see... Because since you saw Freckles for the first time this year you've been acting weird and kind of dull and cheerless."**_ Joey said. _**"Maybe because Freckles was your first real girlfriend and you were forced to leave her and you spent a whole damn year searching for her to get her back."**_

_**"Maybe because when you finally found her again, she was different and nothing was the same, she acted kind of distant with you and it made you feel confused, troubled and down."**_ Julia added. _**"Maybe because you're still in love with her, but you can't do anything because she's not the same girl with whom you fell in love in high school, so it makes you feel impotent and you have to pretend all the time that you don't feel like that."**_

_**"But mostly, because she keeps ignoring you while you try constantly to get closer. Maybe because of all of that."**_ Joey said shrugging and Julia nodded in agreement as I looked at them bewildered, frowning.

_**"Well, thanks guys. That was an amazing summary."**_ I exclaimed, shaking my head and looking down.

_**"Darren, we're just trying to help."**_ Julia said softly.

_**"Yeah, what a way to help!"**_ I exclaimed ironically.

_**"Don't be a jerk, Darren."**_ Joey said serious. _**"What we're trying to say is that you won't stop feeling like that as long as you don't talk to her. You really need to get the guts to go and just talk to her, goddammit!" **_

_**"Yeah, and how the fuck do you expect me to go and talk to her if every time I try to get closer to talk to her she finds a stupid damn excuse to walk away from me? How?"**_ I exclaimed angrily because I was feeling really impotent. When I saw Joey and Julia's faces, I noticed that I spoke in a really loudly and harshly way, so I sighed to calm down. _**"I tried it. And it's ironic, because she was the one who told me that she wanted to talk; but now it seems she wants to be as far as possible from me, she only wants to be there, fooling around with Joe. And you heard Meredith that day, Joey. Freckles likes him. And at times she acts very nice to me, she lets me hold her hand, she lets me be near her, she jokes and is funny and lovely; but at times she's the coldest person ever, she ignores me, she acts distant and she walks away from me. I don't fucking understand her, damn it. What can I do, eh?"**_ I asked distressed as they looked down. Neither of them said something. I looked at them for a while and then I sighed, resigned; I knew they didn't know what to say. _**"Whatever... We came here to have fun, not to have a crappy weekend. So I'll go out there and I'll put my best happy face and I'll smile, and laugh and talk, sing and joke. Like the guy I used to be before Freckles came."**_

_**"You can't pretend it, Darren; because it'll hurt you in the end."**_ Julia said in a whisper.

_**"Well, I think that maybe if I pretend it too much, I'll believe it and I'll be that guy again. Do you think that I like what I am now? No, it sucks. It sucks to be me right now. I just want to have fun, like last year. And I think I can do it, regardless of what Freckles does; now that isn't something of my business. She's free, and I'm free; we can do the shit we want. And what I want right now is to have a blast, so I won't care if Freckles wants to talk to me or not, if she wants to be with me or not; it won't affect me." **_I said trying to convince myself as Joey and Julia were looking at me frowning. _**"And change those faces, or I'm gonna kick your ass."**_ I said trying to joke and I laughed, but it was more like a bitter laugh._** "Come on, let's go. We have to make that stupid campfire."**_

_**"Yeah, okay..."**_ Joey said sighing.

So we came back to the camp and Joey and Julia helped me to make the campfire. While I was building a ring of rocks and then piling the kindling loosely in the fire ring, I was looking at Freckles who didn't notice I was there. She was playing a game with Joe, Meredith, Brian and Bonnie; I didn't know what kind of game, though. Yeah, I felt bad when she ignored me like that, but I tried to ignore that feeling. I needed to have fun and for that I shouldn't care about what Freckles was doing or not. So I focused on the campfire. We placed the tinder on the pile of kindling and then we lightened the fire with my lighter and we gradually added more kindling while we slowly blew air on the igniting fire to build heat and intensity. After a while, we got a great campfire.

_**"I am the king of campfires!"**_ I exclaimed loudly while laughing and I exclaimed it so loudly that everybody finally noticed us.

_**"Hey, you got our help." **_Joey said frowning but amused.

_**"I bet he did. As far as I remember, Darren couldn't do a campfire." **_Freckles suddenly said giggling while she was walking with Joe to where we were.

_**"That was a long time ago, honey. Now I'm an absolute beast when it comes to campfires."**_ I said in a sassy way, with an amused smile. _**"Be right back, I'll bring the marshmallows."**_ I said winking.

_**"Marshmallows! You brought marshmallows! I love that!"**_ Meredith exclaimed excited. _**"I'm so hungry that I'd eat them all alone."**_

I went to my tent to look for the marshmallows in my bag and when I was there, I didn't see Freckles' bag there. Oh well, that left me thinking for a while. Why wouldn't it be there if we were going to sleep in the same tent? Maybe she regretted to sleep in the same tent than me after what I said. But, where would she sleep? With who? Maybe with Joe? No, man, I needed to stop thinking about it; I really needed to have fun and wondering things like those were making me feel bitter. I grabbed the marshmallows and walked outside. Everybody was already sitting around the campfire; the first person I saw was Freckles, who was sitting next to Joe and Meredith. I walked slowly to there and I sat next to Joey and Julia, right in front of Freckles.

_**"Well, everybody please grab a marshmallow and melt it on a stick. It's fucking delicious."**_ I exclaimed trying to sound cheerful as I passed the pack of marshmallows.

Like that we all started eating and telling random stories. It was pretty fun, for real; I didn't have to pretend that I was having fun. The only thing I didn't like so much was how Freckles and Joe were making physical contact all the time, like touching hands or arms, even legs and hair; and whenever they talked they laughed. Yeah man, I couldn't compete with Joe; he was way much sexier and charismatic than me; no doubts why Freckles liked him; and he was also a good and funny guy. Damn, he was my friend; I shouldn't think bad things about him only because he was getting along with Freckles. He never did something to hurt me. I didn't take my eyes off Freckles in any moment and, contradictorily, Freckles took her eyes off me all the time. Yeah, she didn't glance at me not even once, not even when it was me the one who was talking or telling a joke.

_**"Hey Darren, bring your guitar! I think it's time to sing some shit."**_ Dylan suddenly exclaimed.

_**"Yeah, go ahead! We all want to hear your adorable annoying voice singing, Darren!"**_ Joe Moses joked.

_**"Annoying?"**_ Freckles suddenly asked looking at Joe Moses, frowning, apparently confused.

_**"Yeah, haven't you heard him? He sings his butt off all the time and he makes all of those expressive faces while singing. It's annoying."**_ Joe Moses joked again and Freckles was still frowning.

_**"Yeah, I've heard him... But I don't think it's annoying."**_ She replied, still looking at Joe and that made me smile slightly.

_**"You only say it because you're afraid to hurt his feelings, poor little Darren."**_ Joe Moses answered, making fun of me but in a playful way.

_**"No, really, I don't think..."**_

_**"Freckles, Joe is joking. Everybody here wants to be like Darren freakin' Criss!"**_ Jaime exclaimed laughing.

_**"Oh, I see... What a fool!"**_ Freckles exclaimed, now laughing of herself as I was looking at her amused.

_**"Alright, I'll bring my guitar then. But, hey, everybody has to sing!"**_ I exclaimed while standing up.

It didn't take me so long to look for my guitar and come back. I loved this part of the camp, when everybody is sitting around a campfire and singing. When I sat again next to Joey and Julia, Brian and Bonnie were writing something.

_**"What are you doing, guys?"**_ I asked frowning curiously.

_**"Oh, we decided we're gonna play a game."**_ Brian answered.

_**"I thought we were going to sing?"**_ I asked confused.

_**"Yeah, well; it's a game that involves singing."**_ Bonnie replied.

_**"Oh, I like how it sounds."**_ I said smiling cheerfully.

Then Brian and Bonnie cut the papers and put them in two little sacks. Then they mixed the sacks and they handed one sack to Jaime and she looked at them confused as everybody was.

_**"Okay, the game is about a battle of songs. First, you'll take a paper from this sack. The papers from this sack will tell you with who you have to sing and compete."**_ Bonnie explained. _**"This other sack contains names of some bands. So, once you already know with who you're gonna compete, that person is gonna take a paper from this sack and you'll know what band you have to perform. For example. I take one of these papers and it turns out that I have to sing with Brian."**_ Bonnie started explaining.

_**"Yeah, so then I take one of these papers and we'll see what band we have to perform. For example, I choose one and I get Queen. Then Bonnie is gonna start singing a song by Queen, for example 'You're My Best Friend'. Then, when she finishes singing the song, she first has to tell a little imaginary story to give me a rise to what song by Queen I have to sing."**_ Brian said.

_**"Let's suppose that after singing that song I say something like 'we were best friends, yeah, but what we didn't know was that there was something else; a new kind of feeling; but we didn't want to admit it, we weren't ready'. Then Brian could sing 'Crazy Little Thing Called Love'."**_ Bonnie continued.

_**"Exactly, and then I'm the one who has to tell another part of the story and Bonnie has to pick another song by Queen. But everything has to have coherent correlativity. Like this, the game continues until one of the competitors doesn't know how to keep going."**_ Brian said with a cheerful smile.

_**"Oh dude! That's a totally awesome game!"**_ I exclaimed really excited. This was for sure funnier than just singing. _**"How did you come up with this idea?"**_

_**"We're creative people, Darren."**_ Brian said laughing. _**"No, not really. It wasn't our idea, actually."**_

_**"It was Freckles' idea."**_ Bonnie admitted and Freckles smiled proudly, but not looking at me.

_**"Oh cool. That's a cool idea, Freckles."**_ I said looking at her, but she didn't look at me, she only smiled.

_**"Okay, Jaime, take a paper!"**_ Bonnie exclaimed.

_**"Well, I have to compete with... Dylan!"**_ She exclaimed joyfully.

_**"Good, now, Dylan, take one of these papers!"**_ Brian said handing him the sack.

_**"Well, well... We have to perform... Aerosmith!" **_Dylan exclaimed amused. _**"Great, I'm gonna beat you, Jaime!"**_

And like that the game started and they started performing songs by Aerosmith. It was so much fun to see them competing and making up silly stories. This game was really good and entertained. Then Joey had to sing with Lauren songs by The Rolling Stones; Meredith with Brian songs by The Beatles; and Julia with Joe Moses songs by Pink Floyd. Well, now only Bonnie, Freckles, Joe Walker and me had to sing and at this point of the night we were a bit tipsy because we've been drinking some beers and eating some snacks. No one was drunk, though, because we didn't drink so much. Now it was Freckles' turn to take a paper. I really, really wished that it could be me the one.

_**"Well, I have to sing with..." **_Freckles said mysteriously and amused while opening the little paper. I was eager to know it. She finally read it and her amused smile faded. _**"With Darren."**_ She said looking down and then she put aside the paper, now looking away.

Oh man, that was harsh; the way she stopped smiling and looked away when she read my name. What did I do to her anyway? I didn't deserve it, no, I really didn't deserve to be treated in that way, as if I was a piece of shit or something. As far as I know, since I met her again, she was the one who treated me in a bad way while all I tried to do was to be nice to her. She was always the one who was making me feel confused with her sudden changes of mood and her sudden changes of the way she acted with me. I simply couldn't understand her and I didn't know which her real personality was; I didn't know if she was now the funny and adorable girl she was with everybody or if she was the cold and distant girl she was with me sometimes. Yeah, I knew she was still thinking that I dumped her like an asshole, but still. She could try to understand me as well; she could at least notice that I was trying to be nice to her, that I was trying to get close to her again. This wasn't so fair. Anyway, I wouldn't let this to screw my mood and my amusement.

_**"Come on, Darren; pick a paper."**_ Brian told me, handing me the sack.

_**"Good."**_ I said trying to sound joyful, taking a paper and reading it. _**"Well, we have to perform Coldplay. Should I start?"**_

_**"Yes, yes! Come on, pick a song and just sing it! We all want to hear you, Criss!"**_ Jaime exclaimed excited.

_**"Good, well... I'll play my guitar as well."**_ I said and I focused on tuning my guitar while thinking what song by Coldplay I could sing. I looked up and I saw Freckles; she was still avoiding my gaze. _**"Alright, I got it..." **_I said looking fixedly at Freckles, who was looking down, playing with her fingers.

_**"Cool, just sing it, Criss!"**_ Lauren exclaimed loudly.

And yeah, I started singing the perfect song for the moment, while Freckles was looking away, serious.

_"So I look in your direction,_

_But you pay me no attention, do you?_

_I know you don't listen to me._

_'cause you say you see straight through me, don't you?_

_And on and on from the moment I wake,_

_To the moment I sleep,_

_I'll be there by your side,_

_Just you try and stop me,_

_I'll be waiting in line,_

_Just to see if you care._

_Did you want me to change?_

_Well I changed for good_

_And I want you to know._

_That you'll always get your way_

_I wanted to say,_

_Don't you Shiver?_

_Shiver_

_Sing it loud and clear._

_I'll always be waiting for you,_

_So you know how much I need you,_

_But you never even see me, do you?_

_And is this my final chance of getting you?_

_And on and on from the moment I wake,_

_To the moment I sleep,_

_I'll be there by your side,_

_Just you try and stop me,_

_I'll be waiting in line,_

_Just to see if you care._

_Oh, oh, oh, oh._

_Did you want me to change?_

_Well I changed for good_

_And I want you to know._

_That you'll always get your way_

_I wanted to say,_

_Don't you Shiver?_

_Don't you Shiver?_

_Sing it loud and clear._

_I'll always be waiting for you._

_Yeah I'll always be waiting for you._

_Yeah I'll always be waiting for you._

_Yeah I'll always be waiting for you._

_For you,_

_I will always be waiting._

_And it's you I see, but you don't see me._

_And it's you I hear, so loud and so clear_

_I sing it loud and clear._

_And I'll always be waiting for you._

_So I look in your direction,_

_But you pay me no attention,_

_And you know how much I need you,_

_But you never even see me."_

I finished singing and I sang all the song looking fixedly at Freckles as she only glanced at me few times, always serious. Well, it was time to think about something to say as a story; but I was going to tell her something I really meant, I was going to take advantage of it.

_**"And that was the song that the guy sang to the girl. He wanted to let her know how he really felt, and he didn't know how to express his feelings in any other way. The saddest part was when, even when the song was already sung, the girl didn't look at him. It was as if she didn't care at all about his true love feelings for her. The guy never knew why she was acting like that; he was confused, really confused. So the girl, finally, decided to tell him what she thought and felt deep inside her heart about the guy. She did it with a song."**_ I said looking fixedly at Freckles, who was also looking at me fixedly and serious.

She knew what I was doing, she wasn't a fool; she knew that I was trying to turn our real situation into a story, and nobody was going to suspect anything. In the meantime, everybody was looking at us intrigued and amused. No one suspected; no one except Joey and Julia who knew for what I was going through; they were the only who were looking at me agape, knowing how risky this could be.

_**"Good, give me the guitar."**_ Freckles said kind of bossy. _**"I wanna play the song with a guitar as well."**_

_**"You can't play the guitar."**_ I said frowning. She told me she could never learn it, that she gave up.

_**"Yes, I can, Criss. You don't know everything. I learned; I'm not so good, but I can play some songs."**_ Freckles said coldly and I looked at her stunned.

_**"Okay."**_ I said in a whisper and I passed my guitar, so my friends were going to give it to her. I observed Freckles very intently while she was tuning the guitar; she actually knew how to do it. And when she started playing the first chords, I was truly amazed.

_"And the hardest part_

_Was letting go, not taking part_

_Was the hardest part._

_And the strangest thing_

_Was waiting for that bell to ring_

_It was the strangest start._

_I could feel it go down_

_Bittersweet, I could taste in my mouth_

_Silver lining the cloud_

_Oh and I_

_I wish that I could work it out._

_And the hardest part_

_Was letting go, not taking part_

_You really broke my heart._

_And I tried to sing_

_But I couldn't think of anything_

_And that was the hardest part._

_I could feel it go down_

_You left the sweetest taste in my mouth_

_You're a silver lining the clouds_

_Oh and I_

_Oh and I_

_I wonder what it's all about_

_I wonder what it's all about._

_Everything I know is wrong_

_Everything I do, it's just comes undone_

_And everything is torn apart._

_Oh and it's the hardest part_

_That's the hardest part_

_Yeah that's the hardest part_

_That's the hardest part."_

And she finished singing. Oh geez, she was way better at singing; and she actually could play the guitar. When did she learn to do it all? How come was she good now? Her voice was simply amazing, and so sweet and melodic. She made some mistakes with the guitar and I noticed she was still learning, but she could do it. Well, maybe indeed I didn't know so many things about her, but things like these made me want to know her again. She also looked at me fixedly while singing and I paid attention to every single line of the song. I knew she also meant it. Now it was time to hear how she was going to continue with the story.

_**"So the girl finally told him how she was feeling. Anyway, she didn't say everything with the song; so she opened up her heart and told to the guy more things. The girl said that she truly loved him sometime, she told him that some time ago, she let him to stand by her and she gave him the chance to know that she really cared about him. But the guy, instead..."**_ Freckles said and her voice cracked as she looked down frowning; but then she looked up to me again, serious. _**"Instead, the guy dumped her, the guy left her all by herself; the guy made her feel like shit, worthless and miserable. He disappeared of her life with no explanations, leaving the girl with a broken heart that took a year to heal. He left her and she was lost; and right when she could move on and be happy again, he appeared again, acting as if nothing ever has happened; acting as if he was actually a nice guy; but the girl knew it was a lie, as everything of what they had was a damn big lie."**_ Freckles said looking at me coldly as I was feeling terrible, looking at her anguished. Joey and Julia were looking at us stunned and aghast; and the rest was looking at us entertained, they still didn't know this was actually a true story. _**"The guy answered with another song..."**_ She said coldly, passing the guitar and looking away while I was still looking at her distressed. Geez, I never thought she could actually continue with this I started. Was this a really good idea?

_**"This is being the best story so far. You two are good at telling stories, especially you, Freckles."**_ Joe Walker exclaimed amazed.

_**"Well, I like reading, so I learned something."**_ Freckles answered shrugging with a faint smile as I looked deeply into her eyes.

_**"Okay..."**_ I said clearing my throat before starting to sing again. I knew perfectly what song I should sing now. I looked at Freckles straight in the eye, still feeling an affliction in my chest.

_"Now I never meant,_

_To do you wrong,_

_That's what I came here to say._

_But if I was wrong,_

_Then I'm sorry,_

_I don't let it stand in our way._

_As my head just aches,_

_When I think of,_

_The things that I shouldn't have done._

_But, life is for living,_

_We all know,_

_And I don't wanna live it alone._

_Sing,_

_Ah, ah, oh,_

_Ah, ah, oh,_

_And just think,_

_Ah, ah, oh."_

I finished singing while still looking deeply into her eyes, feeling distressed. The song finished, but I wanted to sing something else; something that I really needed to sing, so I kept playing my guitar, even if it was a song that I should have played with a piano. Everybody looked at me frowning and some started complaining because of the confusion because I wasn't supposed to sing another song; but then they let me do it; even Freckles let me do it.

_"When you try your best, but you don't succeed_

_When you get what you want, but not what you need_

_When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep_

_Stuck in reverse._

_And the tears come streaming down your face_

_When you lose something you can't replace_

_When you love someone, but it goes to waste_

_Could it be worse?_

_Lights will guide you home_

_And ignite your bones_

_And I will try to fix you._

_And high up above or down below_

_When you're too in love to let it go_

_But if you never try you'll never know_

_Just what you're worth._

_Lights will guide you home_

_And ignite your bones_

_And I will try to fix you._

_Tears stream down your face_

_When you lose something you cannot replace_

_Tears stream down your face_

_And I..._

_Tears stream down your face_

_I promise you I will learn from my mistakes_

_Tears stream down your face_

_And I..._

_Lights will guide you home_

_And ignite your bones_

_And I will try to fix you." _

When I finished singing the song, my voice cracked, but I dissimulated it. I couldn't stop staring at Freckles and she looked at me while I was singing, but now she was looking down, frowning. Man, this wasn't a good idea at all, I was feeling vulnerable. I needed to continue with the story, I was aware of it. But I took a while to do it, because I couldn't talk. I noticed how Joey and Julia were also looking down, apparently feeling bad.

_**"The guy..."**_ I said with cracked voice and I had to take a time to look down and clear my throat before looking at Freckles again. _**"The guy was really sorry for what he did; he didn't spend even a damn single day without regretting about what he did to the girl. But he had reasons for having done what he has done; and for sure, one of the reasons wasn't to do her wrong. He made a mistake and he hurt the girl, something that he never wanted to do. He knew that the girl was feeling bad, but the guy also was feeling bad. He knew that the only way they could get better was only if they could talk for once and all; maybe that way she was going to understand him; maybe that way they were going to get back together again. Maybe that way the girl was going to realize that the guy never ever stopped loving that beautiful and lovely girl. The guy only wanted to fix her, to fix them."**_ I said with choked voice, looking at Freckles deeply into her eyes. I knew I had teary eyes, but I wasn't going to cry in front of everybody, but the truth was that it was really hard to hold the tears back. Freckles was also looking at me with teary eyes; and Joey and Julia were still looking down, biting their lower lip. _**"The girl... Maybe the girl had something to tell to the guy. And the guy was really interested on knowing her opinion."**_

Then I looked down and I frowned when I was trying hard to hold back the damn tears. Why the hell was I feeling like this? So sad. I shouldn't feel like this in front of everybody. And Freckles... What would Freckles say? I wasn't ready to hear a negative response from her.

_**"Hey, this story is so cool. Not only you're picking the perfect songs and making up that enthralling story; but you guys are also acting it! It feels so real, I love it!"**_ Meredith exclaimed happily.

_**"Yeah, guys. It seems we're watching a romantic movie or something like that. This is what I call angst."**_ Brian said nodding, amazed.

_**"You're gonna make me cry with that stupid story! And I never cry." **_Joe Walker said.

I was just looking down, biting my lower lip. Yeah, definitely no one noticed it was a true story. I just couldn't answer; that stupid annoying lump in the throat and that awful pain in the chest. I was also feeling eager to know her response; I needed to hear it. I looked up when I heard Freckles playing the guitar.

_"You know you made me cry_

_I see no use in wondering why_

_I cry for you._

_And now you've changed your mind_

_I see no reason to change mine_

_I cry it's through, oh._

_You're giving me the same old line_

_I'm wondering why_

_You hurt me then_

_You're back again_

_No, no, no, not a second time._

_You know you made me cry_

_I see no use in wondering why_

_I cry for you, yeah._

_And now you've changed your mind_

_I see no reason to change mine_

_I cry it's through, oh._

_You're giving me the same old line_

_I'm wondering why_

_You hurt me then_

_You're back again_

_No, no, no, not a second time_

_Not a second time_

_Not the second time_

_No, no, no, no, no_

_No, no no."_

I just looked at Freckles very intensely and frowning. I couldn't believe that was her response. Why? Why would she sing that after all I tried to tell her? Why would she be like this? It made me feel really bad, man. I was trying my best, and she still refused to give me a chance.

_**"That isn't even a song by Coldplay. That is a song by The Beatles."**_ I whispered, looking away, still feeling really bad.

_**"Whatever, Darren. It was the best song to sing."**_ Freckles said sighing. _**"But hey, congratulations, you won!"**_ She exclaimed bitterly looking at me in a tough way as I looked at her kind of hurt.

Now there was an uncomfortable silence. Maybe everyone finally noticed that this wasn't a simple story; or maybe not, maybe they were just expectant to keep hearing the story. Joey and Julia kept avoiding my gaze. Freckles looked away and then she sighed and stood up.

_**"The girl went for a walk and she wanted to be alone; away from that guy."**_ She said looking at me fixedly and then she started walking away as I was just still sitting there, feeling so bad to do something.

I knew that the best option would be to follow her, to try to talk to her in a quiet place. To really talk about everything. But I didn't move and Freckles went away very quickly with a flashlight; quickly getting lost in the forest. I was feeling how everybody was staring at me fixedly and agape, confused and stunned. Yeah, Freckles made it clear who the girl and the guy of the story were.

_**"So, the girl of the story is actually Freckles and the guy of the story is you, Darren. And this was actually a true story, wasn't it?"**_ Meredith asked gingerly and I just sighed, looking down and biting my lower lip. I really didn't want to explain anything.

_**"Yeah..."**_ I whispered.

_**"What the hell man?"**_ Joe Walker asked bewildered.

I didn't answer. My head was aching, I was still feeling a pain in my chest, I still wanted to cry like an idiot, I was still feeling terrible. I didn't want to give any damn explanation. I just wanted to be alone; I didn't want them to look at me that way. Everything was out of control now and I didn't even know what I wanted now. I just wanted to find Freckles. I needed to find her. I really needed to talk to her. And then I thought... Damn, she was alone in the dark forest and she didn't know this place, it wasn't safe. She was completely alone, only with a flashlight. Shit. A yell, I heard a yell coming from the forest. It was her.


	36. A fresh start

A/N: Hello guys, girls, dinosaurs, Death Eaters, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, muggles, hobbits, unicorns and inanimate objects! How are you all doing? I'm sick. I'm literally sick because I caught a terrible cold that is a real pain in the ass. So, I'm taking some pills to get better, and like Blaine, I suck at those things because they make me sleepy. Hopefully a stalker Tina won't appear in my bedroom to vapor-rape me. Anyways! I'll stop with my silly comments. I'm going straight to answer the reviews!

Monique: Monique! That's right; it's been a while since you reviewed! I'm glad that you made it to keep reading the chapters! Have you really read all of them in only one day? Whoa! That's impressive! Muahaha! This is an important chapter, maybe. You'll surely know what will happen between Darren and Freckles! You may or may not like it! It's only about your point of view! I think is really time for them to have 'the talk' and it's time for Darren to explain Freckles that Jim was the asshole. But, will Darren do it? Will they come back together? Okay, drama queen, we are two drama queens so that's cool! I'm just encouraging you to keep being the drama queen! haha. Alright, I just hope you can enjoy this chapter!

zahra auob: I know! I think that both, Freckles and Darren will still hurt each other until they get to talk for once and all! Honestly, if someone sings me the song that Freckles sang after confessing my feelings, I'd be broken... Like why? Why would that person give that as response? It'd be sad, I don't know. Will Freckles be fine? What could be happing to her that she screamed? Oh, you'll find it out! I really hope you like this new chapter!

Vcriss: Yes, it was a cliffhanger, which is weird because in this second part there aren't so many cliffhangers. So enjoy the cliffhangers (or not) as much as you can because you won't get so many! I'm really happy to know that you think that the story is turning to be a good one! Yes, when you mentioned about the audition, I thought about it; about why Darren would audition for a gay character and what Freckles would think about this. It's interesting indeed. And why don't you like the idea of him kissing guys? Is that because Darren is straight and now everybody sees him as a gay guy, not being able to distinguish what is a character and what is the real person? I don't know, I'm curious! You don't to answer if you don't want, though.

caarolineboeira1: Aww! I also love that thing that they always need songs to express their feelings! I think that's like their thing. Every couple has their thing, and their thing is this, songs, express feelings with songs. I don't know, I like it. I really enjoyed writing them holding hands. Actually, at first, I didn't write it but then I said... Screw it! I will write about them holding hands and everything goes to hell! haha. Oh geez! You're right about that thing that Freckles will kill Darren by changing her clothes in front of him, that's so cruel from her! I imagine how hard it was for Darren to look away! Oh, about Freckles changing her attitude around Darren, well, you'll find it out. I think it's in this chapter, but I don't remember so well, so if it's not in this chapter, it's in the next one! But maybe it'll clear up your mind! I don't know if Brian and Meredith will get together, but I have a story for Brian already planned, only in my mind for now. And now you'll find out what happened to Freckles in the forest! Maybe there's a killer in the forest and Darren saves her life, or not... You'll see, probably I'm just joking. Most probably.

alicegursk: Alice! Close your eyes; now open them to read this. Okay, open them. How will I let you know to open your eyes if I told you first to close them? Ah! Forget it. Just take a deep breath, and start dancing the dance of victory because if you're reading this is because you survived and you're able to read the new chapter! That's good to know that you're alive! You are, aren't you? I really don't think I'll write a book, I'll stick here with FanFiction where I can talk to people about what they think and exchange thoughts and shit! Besides if I write a book, I'll offend all the writers around the world! haha. Yet, I found it really cute and it really made smile like damn fool when I read 'proud mama tears' and when you mentioned I'm writing this perfection that actually is pure bullshit of drama and drama and... drama. Oh, also love and friendship, and fluff and... drama. Yes! I also laughed and cried like an idiot, I was alone, watching it, drinking a coffee and just... enjoying that perfection that was AVPSY! Gosh, it's beautiful! I'll also love you until my dying day, come what may, come what may my dear wife!

amritsoomal: I know, it was my fault that I didn't update at the usual hour! Blame it on AVPSY! But at least you got to read it in bed (I love reading in bed, is like the most awesome thing to do for me). Yes, I know it was sad, but it's because the two of them are still really confused because they need to talk! You'll see that things will get better, promise! And yes, I love that they expressed their feeling through songs because I already think that's like their thing, like think something about Freckles and Darren... Songs! It's so creepy the fact you mentioned the wolf because... Do you read my mind? Do you have a copy of all I wrote? When you get to read this, you'll know what I'm talking about! Maybe I'm too predictable! haha. Maybe Joe will go eat fish so he'll have a fishy smell and breath, then he won't look so hot. Don't hate Joe! You'll see you won't have reasons to hate him, promise. This time you won't get a cliffhanger, so you can feel relieved. This is may or may not be a happy ending, it only depends on your point of view! You'll see!

nicole: Ohhhh! That is a tough question! Yes, it is! But a promise is a promise and an award is an award and I'll keep my promise. So, the answer for your question is: Jim is not what he seems to be. He has a big trouble... He's sick, like literally sick and he has a mental disorder, maybe it's more like a trauma. In a part of this second part I'll explain why he had this trauma and how serious it was, you'll get a bit information about his past. So, summing up, Jim is a psychopath in certain way and he had a problem (related to his past) that is that he cannot stand seeing two people like Darren and Freckles together. But he wasn't in love with Freckles. I hope I could answer to your question somehow! I loved Blaine and Sue's feud! And I loved that it all was part of Blaine's plan to bring her down! And yes! I completely loved AVPSY! It was very emotional! Like, I laughed like never before, and all the characters that appeared again, and all the jokes and twists, and at the end! I broke when Harry said "Take it easy, Hogwarts. It's been totally awesome'. And his voice cracked and I was already in tears. I must admit that I'll miss it. I really loved them.

Kaylacriss332: hahaha! Oh my god! Can you believe it? I thought exactly the same when I wrote that Joe was charismatic, automatically the image of Ron saying 'He's so charismatic' about Zefron popped in my mind and I laughed like an idiot for a while. I could have never imagined that someone else could think the same thing. Aww, Bonnie! I missed her in AVPSY, but I liked Meredith too! She did a good job! Well, don't worry about the cliffhangers, because in this chapter you won't get one!

AnSofiekeeeh: Yes, sometimes my cliffhangers tend to be super annoying! haha. I know it; I admit it, because when I read a book or a fic that has a cliffhanger I just hate it because I always want to read the next chapter asap! So I'm like this stupid girl cursing a book or the screen of my computer, like a psycho, knowing that it won't answer me and it won't make the chapter come faster; but I have to try, therefore I'll keep acting like an insane person. Okay, I don't want to freak you out, sometimes I'm a sane person. How do I come up with so much text? Well, I think I'm a chatty girl that cannot shut up and just writes everything that pops in her mind, hence the so often non-sense answers! Oh yes! I like to write long chapters, because I always think that the chapters are short! I used to write longer chapters, with my story Chain Letters, but then I realized that writing very long chapters involved more waiting time for the readers to read the next chapter and that wasn't so nice. Now you'll know what's going to happen and this time you won't have to worry about the damn cliffhanger, because there's not a cliffhanger! I hope you like this chapter An Sofie!

Mockingjay-Potterhead-9: How can I update weekly? I have it already written. Currently writing chapter 51. Yes, otherwise, I'd never be able to update weekly because... picture this: I'm currently doing my final thesis at college and I'm studying architecture that gives you no time to breathe. So, I knew I wouldn't have time to write so much, so I had to write it all when I had free time. Still, I think it'll come a point that, sadly, you won't get a weekly update. Hope it doesn't happen, though. Oh, I remember my senior year! It was crazy, so I get what you tried to say about the stress. This sucks! Of course I loved AVPSY! Like, I was like you, I couldn't stop watching it again and over again; it was just so good, and it made me feel a bunch of different feelings and I'll just miss it! Don't worry if you don't come up with something next time, we can always talk about what kind of dragon you prefer! Just, you can talk to me about everything you want, because I tend to be random and rambling, just like I recently did, I think.

vicky: I completely loved AVPSY! Like really! I didn't stop laughing a single moment, and when I wasn't laughing I was crying or I was thinking that something was very cute, especially the things Ron said! I suffered a lot Scarfy's death and I think I'll never get over it. I laughed about everything and I really loved a lot of things, like, for example, when Hagrid starts bouncing Harry on his lap and Darren couldn't keep the character, it was great. I broke when Harry said 'take it easy, Hogwarts, it's been totally awesome' and his voice cracked, like he was saying goodbye to all of this part of his stage of his life with the Team Starkid (which I hope it never happens and I wish he could join other musicals). I cried the Quirrelmort scene and what they said 'Okay is beautiful' and also that 'You know, Harry Potter helped me once. He taught me something. He taught me that it's alright to let go. Of things that hurt us.' and also 'Harry Potter taught me how to love. And I guess that's what Harry Potter's all about'. Like hell yeah, it was so accurate! And I laughed when Darren made a complete mess with his tie, like fuck the tie! Just so many things, so many emotions. It was totally awesome. Now the chapter...They expressed their feelings but they still don't know each version of what happened that night and what happened after it. They'll talk, in this chapter. Darren's friends aren't still so sure about what happened, so some of them will be curious. And well, something happens to Freckles in the forest, it's a bad but good thing. Complicated, huh? You'll maybe get what I tried to say when you read it. And... Maybe Freckles is still in love with him, or maybe she's confused because she was deep in love with him and then she thinks Darren dumped her and now she sees him again and she tries to convince herself that she can be nice around him and that she doesn't feel anything for him, but maybe it's only what she tries to convince herself but not what she feels.

Guest: The damn stupid cliffhanger! Yes! But hey, to make up for it, in this chapter you won't get a cliffhanger. Is that a good thing? Actually, you won't get so many cliffhangers in the next chapters. I don't know what was happening to me, but I wrote a bunch of chapters that I didn't feel like ending with a cliffhanger, so maybe that will make you feel happy! And maybe with this chapter you'll feel happy and I'll really make up for the bad moment I made you go through thanks to the stupid cliffhanger!

SamHolmesCollins or NamelessHolmesC: Dear diary (Journal!) I'm not sure what name I should use, I feel confused! I loved Darren, and I loved all the times he broke the character; but I honestly loved more Joey. Mostly Joey; Joey is perfection; Joey is the master of the comedy; I love Joey. And Lauren! Lauren is a fucking genius and her Draco is amazing, is hilarious, is cute, is everything! Then of course Joe W (hell yeah!). And gosh, Joe Moses, I just love Snape, I don't know why, his Snape is like one of the best things that happened to me. I completely loved Brian as Hagrid and especially the scene in which he bounces Darren on his lap, I felt exactly the same than you. I loved Jaime as Ginny in this musical more than the others. I missed Bonnie, but I do think Meredith has done a really good job and I loved her; I just love Meredith for some reason, she is always smiley and she's so nice and funny. I just loved absolutely everything about the show and it was really sad to see it ending. And my heart is still suffering because of Scarfy's death; I know I'll never get over it. Yes, I agree with the cheating thing about Blaine. Yes, I didn't like that they broke up because of cheating and I didn't like when Blaine got mad when Kurt was just texting a guy and then he cheated on Kurt for real. I agree that it was terrible. But well, what can I say? We, human beings, are complicated. Speaking for myself and the situations I've experienced or the things I've seen and listened about my friends' experiences; I can say that we all make mistakes, some worse than others; but it's in the human nature to make mistakes and sometimes we don't even mean to do it, sometimes we don't realize them; and after all, we learn from mistakes, it might sound cliché, but it's like that. The way we learn things for real is when we make a mistake. If you do a mistake, it's fine because most of the time it isn't intentional; now if you do that mistake twice it's because there's something wrong and you had intentions to do it. I'm not saying that what Blaine did isn't wrong, because it's really wrong and it hurts, he hurt Kurt and I understand that Kurt couldn't forgive him. Cheating on someone is really awful because somehow it makes you feel that the person really doesn't care about you and it makes you feel devastated, it makes you feel like you're not worthwhile at some point. But I do think that everybody deserves second chances, even if it's hard, even if it's gonna take a long time to build up your trusting on the other person again, even if you're gonna have to work really hard to make things work; but everybody needs to forgive and be forgiven, if they are really repentant and want to make up for their mistakes. Sometimes we're so stupid that we need to feel how we're losing someone or something to really appreciate them and realize how important they're for us. Anyway, I won't keep boring you with my point of views, I must be irritating! So sorry! Oh, about the advices, I use to write letters to show them my point of views or to express my feelings; yes, it's very silly but it's honestly the only way I can do it; I don't even know why. Yes, look for me on fb, Lucy Samb! I'll be waiting your friend request! Yes, they didn't mention RedVines, why? Why? So bad, so bad! Now, I think you'll be bored of reading this, so, I'll say goodbye for now, it's been totally awesome my dear Sherlock! I love you like the Sorty loves Scarfy! Your Moriarty.

MeMi83: The line between the basilisk and Draco was amazing, I laughed so hard! I loved so many things about avpsy that's impossible to mention them all! Like, for example, 'I'm a snaaaaakeeeeeeee. Where'd my arms and legs go? Just kidding I'm a snaaaaaakkkkeeeeeeee.' I don't know, I laughed a lot with that one. And of course I also cried because it was very moving! Like I can't believe it's done! They're the best musicals ever! I just love them so much! Now, about the chapter! Yes, I had to make some kind of twist because everything was going so smooth and so calm. Now in this chapter everything is different and I let myself to write something sweeter and there's not a cliffhanger! So I really hope you can enjoy it! I honestly liked writing it. I wish you a delayed week of leprechauns and pots of gold! And also I wish you a week full of fairy, little cute bears, honey and shooting stars, so make a wish!

TeamBrian: Aww, it makes me feel really happy to know that my answer made you smile! Yes, it's true, you didn't get Brian! And unfortunately you won't get Brian in some chapters, but trust me when I say that the waiting is gonna be worthwhile! There's a lot about Brian, I wrote a lot about Brian, so don't worry, Rachel! I'd totally love to give you advices with your fanfiction and you have no idea how good it made me feel when you mentioned that somehow I inspired you to write your own fanfiction! Of course you can count on me with this! I never thought someone could ask me an advice! I just feel really good! Yes, I am following you on Twitter, Rachel Murcia, right? Yes, I remember that once you reviewed a chapter and after a while you started following me on Twitter and I remember I thought 'oh yes, I remember you!' So I followed you back! Umm, I don't know if Sunny and Brian will ever be together, but for sure they have a story together, a very interesting one and... well, I wrote something and for a moment I just wanted to just start writing about them. They'll get a very interesting story, I think. After all, I'm in love with Brian, so you'll get interesting things about him and ahhh! I just fell in love with a character that I invented! Am I crazy? About 1D, to be completely honest, I don't know, I can't opine because the truth is that I haven't listened to them! I'm like one of those old-fashioned girls who listen to old bands and music! My dad's influence I guess!

Okay guys, that's all. I always see all that I write when I answer your reviews and sometimes I feel like I need to stop talking too much; I surely am a pain in the ass! Geez. If it ever annoys you, just let me know, okay? I'll try to control myself. Now, I really hope you all can enjoy this chapter. I consider this is a cue chapter, but I don't know. Well, now I'll say goodbye and until next week! Have a totally super awesome week full of strawberries covered with chocolate! Yummy!

* * *

**Teenage Dream – Chapter 36 – A fresh start.**

* * *

_**"Freckles! Freckles, where are you?"**_ I yelled walking inside the forest right to where Freckles walked, lighting the way with my flashlight.

_**"Freckles!"**_ I heard my friends also yelling, who went separate ways to find her faster.

I heard another yell from her, she couldn't be so far and that scream was terrifying. I ran as fast as I could to the direction I heard the scream. I stumbled several times with the branches on the ground, but I didn't have time to check if I bruised myself or not, I needed to find Freckles.

_**"Freckles, tell me where you are!"**_ I yelled desperate, lighting everywhere. She wasn't there.

_**"Darren!" **_I heard a terrified scream from Freckles.

_**"Freckles! Tell me, please, tell me where you are! Tell me!" **_I yelled even more desperate, not knowing where to go.

The echo in the forest was such that wasn't letting me know from where her scream was coming; so the echo was deceiving. What the hell could be happening to her that she was screaming in that way?

_**"Darren, please help me! Help me!"**_ She screamed again, even more terrified and I was very edgy now.

_**"Please, tell me where you are!"**_ I yelled again very desperate.

I didn't know how I could find her or what I could tell her to do to let me know where she was. I was getting very inside the forest and I was already lost; I didn't know where I was going, but I was running. Being this inside the forest wasn't so safe and I arrived to a place when it was being difficult to walk. I was walking through multi-layered canopies and numerous fallen trees; the branches and the foliage of separate trees interlocked, so it was really, really hard to walk there. I've never been in this part of the forest before and it was kind of scary; but it was even more scary the fact I couldn't find Freckles and the fact that I couldn't hear anymore the yells from my friends. It only meant that I was truly away from them and that I was lost, and maybe Freckles wasn't near where I was.

_**"Help me, Darren!"**_ I heard Freckles' scream again.

_**"Freckles!"**_ I screamed my lungs out.

_**"Darren, I'm here, I'm here!"**_ She yelled even more terrified. She was close, I knew it, her scream was clearer. _**"I can see the light of your flashlight, Darren! I'm here!"**_ She yelled and my heart started beating faster.

She could see the light, it meant I was really close, but I couldn't see the light of her flashlight. I ran directly to where I thought the scream came from and suddenly I lighted the way and I found her. She was lying on the ground, apparently she was tangled in some branches and she couldn't move.

_**"Freckles!"**_ I yelled and I ran to her.

_**"Darren, slow down! Watch out, watch out!"**_ She screamed terrified and I stood abruptly, also terrified.

A gray wolf was right in front of her, watching her fixedly. Oh damn shit! Oh fuck, I didn't have anything at all for protection; I only had this stupid flashlight. I needed to take Freckles away from there. I really needed to scare away that wolf. But how? I had no fucking idea, I've never been in a situation like this; I've never seen a wolf and I had no idea how I should act. Maybe if I tried to scare away the wolf, it was going to attack us; maybe the best was to stay steady and quiet. I slowly walked to Freckles, trying not to make a loud noise and trying to be cautious. I was scared like hell, yes; but I wasn't going to leave Freckles there alone. So I finally reached her and I kneeled right behind her. I softly placed my hands on her shoulders. She was trembling and she was also sweating in cold, surely because of the fear she was feeling. I placed my cheek against her cheek; her cheek was wet, surely she had been crying.

_**"Do not move."**_ I whispered trying to reassure her. _**"Do not make any sudden movements."**_

_**"Darren, I'm scared."**_ She whispered with trembling voice.

_**"Don't be, nothing bad is gonna happen if we don't move. I'm right here, okay?"**_ I whispered reassuringly, squeezing her shoulders and kissing her cheek.

I felt how she placed her hands on mine. She was still trembling and I noticed how she was panting. The gray wolf walked closer to us and Freckles closed her eyes and held back her breath. I also held back my breath. Damn, I was so fucking scared. I didn't want to tremble because I wanted to reassure Freckles, I wanted to make her feel she was safe with me; but I couldn't help it. I was fixedly looking at the gray wolf that was getting even closer to us. What the hell should we do? If we dared to run, that wolf was going to attack us, I was sure of it; but if we didn't move, then I didn't know what that wolf could do, what if it attacked us anyway? Then the wolf was right there next to us. It started smelling Freckles' leg and Freckles gasped and flinched; but she didn't scream. Then the wolf started smelling me too; and, like Freckles, I flinched, but I didn't make any kind of sound. I just stayed there still and fraught. Should we yell at the wolf or not? What was the right thing to do, man? Damn, I should have researched about gray wolves. Then the wolf started smelling Freckles' arm and it got even closer. I thought it was going to attack her, but I couldn't move because of the fear. It was supposed that wolves were afraid of human beings, that wolf shouldn't come so near; it was supposed that it was going to run away; but it stayed there and got even closer. Surprisingly, the wolf started licking Freckles' arm as it started pawing her and nose nuzzling her.

_**"Darren, it's licking me."**_ Freckles whispered with trembling voice.

_**"I know, I can see that."**_ I whispered astonished. This wasn't normal. _**"Don't be afraid, it's not gonna attack you; actually I think it's asking you some kind of petting. Oh my god, this is so strange."**_ I exclaimed still in shock.

_**"What do I have to do?"**_ Freckles asked still with trembling voice.

_**"Just... Just do not move."**_ I said admiring that animal that was there. This was the first time I saw a wolf and I couldn't believe it was having a friendly reaction with a human.

_**"Darren, it's beautiful."**_ She said also admiring the wolf; while the wolf was still licking her arm and then it started licking her face. _**"Oh my god!"**_ She said giggling softly. _**"It's tickling me!"**_ She giggled again and I giggled along with her.

_**"Enjoy this, Freckles. Maybe it won't happen again."**_ I whispered in her ear. _**"What? Freckles, what are you doing? Just stay still!" **_

_**"I just want to pet it; maybe this is a friendly wolf."**_ She whispered while moving her arm.

_**"No! What if not? Wolves aren't friendly and they are afraid of human beings! It could attack you because it could think you want to attack it!"**_ I whispered kind of concerned.

_**"This seems to be a different wolf."**_ Freckles whispered.

Of course, she ignored what I said and she started petting the wolf. Amazingly, the wolf didn't attack her and, instead, it started to lick her hand as Freckles started giggling again. I was just in shock, admiring this situation.

_**"It's so cute!"**_ She exclaimed cheerfully. Now she wasn't scared at all. And I was calmer, I needed to admit it.

_**"I think it likes you."**_ I whispered in her ear, giggling softly and smiling brightly, still amazed and captivated.

_**"Come on, pet it you too!"**_ Freckles said.

_**"Oh no! The wolf is friendly with you, not with me. I shouldn't do it."**_ I whispered.

_**"Come on, Darren!"**_ She said again, now looking at me.

_**"Okay... Damn, I must be crazy."**_ I said a bit afraid. But I did it, I was totally insane.

But the wolf didn't attack me; instead, it started licking my hand too. I couldn't help it but laughing of happiness. Man, this was so weird; this was never going to happen. This was amazing, this was truly amazing. What kind of wolf was this?

_**"Look, Freckles, look! It's letting me to pet it!"**_ I exclaimed happily while still laughing softly. My heart was beating really fast because of the adrenaline, but I was so amazed.

_**"I know! Isn't it amazing?"**_ She exclaimed also happily as the two of us started petting it.

_**"It is! Oh my god, it truly is!"**_ I exclaimed excited as a child.

_**"Aww! I want to keep it, Darren!"**_ She exclaimed in a very adorable way.

_**"No, we cannot do that. This is a wild wolf, it enjoys being free in this forest. Maybe we should set it free now."**_ I said looking amazed at the gray wolf.

_**"Yes, you're right."**_ Freckles whispered. _**"Can I kiss it at least?"**_

_**"No, do not do that. It's dangerous!"**_ I said quickly, but, again, she ignored my comment and she kissed it as the wolf licked her face and she giggled. _**"That's adorable."**_ I exclaimed cheerfully.

And that was the last thing the wolf did before it turned around and ran away, getting lost in the forest. We both looked at the direction to where the wolf went, still in shock for what happened, feeling thrilled for sure. Then I stood up and I helped Freckles to put aside the branches that were tangling her. Once we got it, I gave her my hand to help her to stand up.

_**"That was extraordinary, Darren!"**_ She exclaimed excited and then she pulled me into a hug and I startled. _**"I was so scared!"**_ Then she said and I noticed she was still trembling, so I hugged her back as she buried her head on my chest. _**"Thanks for being here, despite the way I treated you."**_

_**"It's okay, Freckles."**_ I whispered softly and I closed my eyes, enjoying this hug. Then I felt something wet in my chest. _**"Hey, are you crying?"**_

_**"Yes, it's just... I was really scared, I couldn't see anything at all and I was lost, alone and then... Then this wolf came up." **_She said with teary voice.

_**"Hey..."**_ I whispered softly as I caressed her now short hair. _**"But everything was alright, right? We got to pet a gray wolf! Who does that? We're actually very lucky." **_

_**"I know! I know! But... But... We were lucky, what if that wolf wasn't a friendly one? What would have happened if you didn't find me?"**_ She said still crying.

_**"Hey, but it was a friendly wolf. And I did find you, right? I'm right here. So, you shouldn't worry about what it would have happened. You should just enjoy this that maybe won't happen ever again. Do you have any idea of how many people tried to get closer to a gray wolf and never could get it? Lot of people. So, this should make you happy, Freckles."**_ I whispered softly, trying to reassure her.

_**"I am happy, I'm just shocked."**_ She said now resting her chin on my chest and looking at my eyes with her big and bright eyes; those beautiful eyes. I smiled softly at her.

_**"I'm shocked too." **_I admitted and then I did it without thinking. I kissed her forehead and she let me do it. Not only she let me do it, she also smiled slightly.

_**"I just... I want to come back home."**_ She whispered.

_**"Why would you want it?"**_ I asked confused, frowning.

_**"I... We were lucky this time, Darren. But maybe we won't be lucky next time. I just don't like this place so much."**_ She said and I looked at her raising my eyebrows. Well, I never heard someone saying that didn't like this place.

_**"That is because you still didn't see all the beautiful things that this place has."**_ I said smiling. _**"Come with me, I know about something that you'll love for sure."**_ I said mysteriously.

_**"What is it?"**_ She asked intrigued.

_**"Oh, it's a surprise."**_ I said still mysteriously. _**"Come on, follow me."**_ I said and I started walking, lighting the way.

_**"Darren?"**_ Freckles suddenly asked softly.

_**"Yeah?"**_ I asked while still walking.

_**"Can I hold your hand? I'll feel safer if I do it, I'm still a bit scared."**_ She said shyly and I turned my face to look at her. It was really adorable to hear something like that.

_**"Yes, of course you can, Freckles. You don't even have to ask that."**_ I said really softly as I held her hand and I intertwined my fingers with hers.

_**"Thanks."**_ She said shyly and I looked at her for a while in silence.

Damn, in times like these was when I knew she still had something of the Freckles I knew and the Freckles I fell in love with. In time like these was when I had to admit that I was still in love with her, even if my feelings for her were confusing. I wanted to kiss her, but instead, I smiled kindly at her.

_**"Let's go."**_ I whispered and she nodded.

* * *

_**"Where are we going?"**_ You asked frowning.

_**"I told you, it's a surprise."**_ Darren answered while he kept walking, still holding your hand.

_**"We've been walking for hours."**_ You complained, a bit moody because your legs were already hurting.

_**"That's because I'm lost."**_ Darren answered quiet and you looked at him abruptly.

_**"You are what?"**_ You asked aghast.

_**"Yeah... What you heard."**_

_**"I thought you already knew this place! That is what you told me!" **_You complained, still aghast. You couldn't believe he was lost.

_**"Yes, I know. But... I've never been in this specific place."**_ Darren answered a bit uncomfortable.

_**"So that's it? We're lost in the dark in middle of a forest full of bugs, dangerous animals and maybe poisonous plants; with a flashlight that is going to run out of battery."**_ You said in an exaggerated way, still feeling worried.

_**"Exactly, but think about the positive side... At least it won't rain."**_ Darren giggled softly.

_**"How funny! Darren, what are we gonna do now?"**_ You asked serious.

_**"Keep walking." **_

_**"No shit Sherlock!"**_ You exclaimed sarcastically.

_**"You asked, I answered."**_ He said laughing and then he stopped to look at you. _**"Hey, what if we're lost? It's funny when you don't know where you're going and you just enjoy what you're exploring. And this is an awesome place to explore."**_ He said excited.

_**"Yes, but no when it's dark. Right now, this seems a creepy place."**_ You said frowning, looking around.

_**"A creepy place? How come?"**_ He asked in disbelief.

_**"Yes, it's creepy... All the shadows and weird noises; and sometimes you feel something touching your body and you can't tell if it's a branch, or a bug or some shit because it's dark like hell."**_ You answered a bit scared.

_**"Oh well, I didn't know that you considered my hand as a branch or bug."**_ He joked, chuckling.

_**"It's not funny."**_ You said frowning and pouting.

_**"Okay... I don't think this place is creepy. All I see it's an amazing forest, with beautiful large trees and plants of all species; you've got weird flowers, pines, beech, hemlock, and maple, spruce, tamarack, alder, and white cedar. There are also bugs, but it all is part of the nature. And you've got to pet a wolf. Everything is as if we were in a fairy tale."**_ Darren answered and you looked at him curiously.

_**"How come do you know so much about plants?"**_ You asked and he chuckled.

_**"My mom taught me that."**_ He answered, still chuckling.

_**"Your mom, how's she?" **_You asked curiously, realizing that you actually missed his family. They gave you a home when you were homeless, and you grew fond to them.

_**"She's fine; missing me and my bro now that we're at college. She misses you too, you know? She wouldn't stop asking me about you. She really loved you, so did my dad and Chuck."**_ Darren answered quiet, walking again.

_**"Yeah... I loved them too and I kinda miss them. They were my family." **_You answered feeling a bit sad now. They were really your family when you needed one.

_**"You know? It doesn't matter what happened between us; I won't forbid you to see my family if you want to do so. Even if you and I parted, they still consider you a part of the family; so... If you want to visit them sometime but you don't want to see me, just let me know and I'll make up an excuse to not be there while you're there." **_Darren said avoiding your gaze, now serious, focusing on the way. The way he said it made you feel bad.

_**"That's silly, Darren." **_You finally said. _**"You can be there while I'm there; I don't mind."**_

_**"Yeah, okay..."**_ Darren said kind of gloomy and you wondered why he would be acting like that. Then he stopped to turn his face and look at you. _**"I missed you too."**_ He whispered and you looked at him surprised, raising your eyebrows. You couldn't answer anything at all because you didn't know what to answer; he noticed this, so he turned his face again to focus on the way. _**"We need to keep walking and find some place with fewer trees."**_

So you kept walking for a long time, now in silence but still holding hands. You were starting to think that you weren't going to find an escape from the forest; but hours after, you arrived to a place that indeed looked like a fairy tale. You were stunned. From there you could look at the clear dark starry sky; there were billion of shiny stars. But also that place exhibited a breathtaking overlook to a big beautiful lake with clear waters and interesting rock formations with a series of connecting caverns eroded around the base of the rocks. What the hell was this staggering place? It was a magical place.

_**"Oh my god."**_ You exclaimed, still looking around really amazed.

_**"Yeah. We're at Miners Castle. Beautiful, isn't it?"**_ Darren whispered, also looking all around.

_**"Beautiful? This is breathtaking! Like... I can't believe this is real."**_ You whispered agape.

_**"Oh, but it is real."**_ Darren whispered and you looked at him. He was smiling brightly and he seemed just as amazed as you. _**"Come on, come with me; I want to show you a place."**_

_**"What? Do you finally know where we are?"**_ You asked while Darren was leading you to some place.

_**"Yes, I know."**_ He said.

_**"So then... So then why don't we come back to the camp? Maybe tomorrow we can come back here."**_ You said worried.

_**"Yes, we will come back; but first I want to show you something and for that it has to be dark."**_ Darren replied.

You couldn't complain, because Darren seemed to be excited to show you that place and you needed to admit that you were intrigued. After all, at least you weren't lost anymore, so it was going to be easy to come back now that Darren knew where you were. Then Darren stepped behind you and he covered your eyes.

_**"What are you doing?"**_ You asked frowning, a bit suspicious.

_**"Just trust me, I won't hurt you."**_ He whispered in your ear and you closed your eyes.

What he said made you remember the time you lost your memory and couldn't remember him, when you were at The Golden Gate. He whispered you the same thing, so it made you shiver. Still covering your eyes with his hands, he led you to somewhere. Then he stopped you and he slowly placed his hands on your shoulders.

_**"You can open your eyes."**_ He whispered while placing his cheek against your cheek.

You slowly opened your eyes and the view amazed you. You looked at that fabulous place with eyes wide open and open-mouthed. You were standing on the edge of a high rock from where you could see everything: the lake, the shore of the beach, the others rock formations, a part of the forest, and the marvelous starry sky. Oh geez! You were in love with this place; you wanted to live there forever.

_**"This is so wonderful."**_ You whispered, still seeing the panorama.

_**"I knew you were going to like this place."**_ Darren whispered kindly in your ear. _**"You always loved the starry skies and the panoramic views. I don't know if you still love it, but well, I needed to show you this, just in case."**_

_**"I still do love it."**_ You answered and you turned your face to look at him and smile kindly. _**"Thank you, for showing me this place. It's magical."**_ You said looking at the panorama again.

_**"Do you still like laying on the ground and watch the stars?"**_ He asked softly and you turned your face to look at him again, smiling.

You couldn't believe that Darren could remember everything about you. It was something nice, actually. You smiled at him and he smiled back at you. Like that, you stared at each other for a while, not saying anything at all, just smiling. It was like the old times. Still, you needed to remember that it wasn't like before; but only for this moment, you wanted to forget that and just enjoy the moment.

_**"Yes, I do."**_ You answered.

_**"Do you want to do it before returning to the camp?"**_ He asked still smiling.

_**"Yes, I think I'd like that."**_ You replied, smiling friendly.

Darren stepped back and he was the first to lie on the ground and you chuckled before laying on the ground next to him. The two of you just remained silent, only watching the shiny stars in this beautiful place. You were happy and peaceful; definitely you were feeling happy; you weren't doing anything at all, but it didn't matter because actually you didn't have to do anything but just enjoy the beauty of the nature.

_**"Have you ever watched the stars only to see if you saw a shooting star? You spend hours looking at the sky, watching stars. And for you, all of them seem equally beautiful. However, what you're expecting is a special star, a shooting star. That kind of star that you know that only you are gonna see, for an instant, and just because you were watching."**_ You whispered while watching peacefully the starts.

Darren moved his hand and touched slightly your hand; you just held his hand and intertwined your fingers with his, without thinking. It just felt right. You glanced at him surreptitiously: he was just watching the stars with his bright and beautiful hazel eyes, smiling joyful. What if Brian was right? What if you still felt something for him? Then Darren glanced at you and caught you looking at him; but instead asking you something, he only smiled at you.

_**"I missed this, you know? Only with you I can do this kind of thing."**_ He said softly, still looking at you and smiling.

_**"Same. I haven't done this since the time we were together." **_You admitted and you tried not to regret this that you said.

_**"I wish we could talk, Freckles. I really need to do it."**_ Darren said with very bright eyes, looking deeply into your eyes.

_**"No, not right now. I don't want to ruin this moment."**_ You said, looking at the stars again to avoid his piercing look.

_**"Please, I beg you. We really don't know when we can have time alone."**_ He begged you in a desperate way that you looked at him. Maybe it was time.

_**"Fine, let's talk."**_ You agreed and he smiled slightly at you.

_**"I don't know... I have so many things to say, I don't know how to start."**_ Darren finally said after a while, while the two of you were still laying on the ground and looking at each other.

_**"I'll start."**_ You said firmly and Darren looked at you surprised. _**"I want to tell you how I felt after you dumped me and disappeared."**_

_**"I didn't..."**_

_**"Please, just listen to me and then you can say whatever you want to say. But now, listen to me." **_You said interrupting him and he just nodded in silence. You were feeling nervous, but you had to do this. _**"My intentions aren't to make you feel bad and I do not want to recriminate you anything because it's something that I had to overcome by my own and I already got it. I just want to tell you how what you did made me feel, so maybe you'll understand why I act weird with you."**_

_**"Okay, I'll listen." **_Darren said softly and you looked deeply into his eyes before talking again.

_**"Occasionally we must pause to examine the past; line by line, step by step, tile by tile. And not to cry the lies but to sing the truths."**_ You said and Darren was just frowning slightly. _**"And that is what I did to overcome the crappy situation I was living when you dumped me." **_You explained but he still couldn't get your point. _**"You see, when you dumped me, I felt empty and confused, I felt how my heart broke into million pieces. I couldn't understand why you would do something like that to me if you loved me, if you told me that you loved me. I felt how everything was falling apart and I was alone, by my own and no one was there to support me. You were the love of my life, Darren; I've never loved someone like you, but you disappeared because you only wanted me for sex and I couldn't give it to you in that moment."**_ You explained, avoiding his gaze because it was impossible to talk about this and look into his eyes because it was hard. _**"When you dumped me the first reaction I had was to feel completely depressed and alone, I felt used as a toy, I felt how all the happiness faded away. As time passed, I started to feel confused and angry, helpless. Then I started to feel indifference and then, finally, I forgot you. That happened in a year."**_ You said and you finally looked at him. He was looking at you kind of distressed, but you ignored it. _**"It was hard, but I got it with a little help from my friend, Brian, and from my sister and mom. They made me realize that life could move on, that I should overcome it because I still had a lot to live for. I couldn't believe it, it seemed impossible; until I tried not to cry the lies but to sing the truths."**_ You said and Darren still couldn't get it. _**"I realized that I couldn't overcome what happened because all the time I was crying the lies; lies such as thinking that you truly loved me, that what we had was real and I lost it, that I couldn't live without you because you were the only one who could make me happy, that you were always there for me and now I didn't have you. Yeah, those things were destroying me, so I started singing the truths. I examined my past line by line and I realized that actually things weren't so much as I thought they were. No, you never loved me, you pretended to love me, so what we had wasn't real; I realized that I could live without you because in the past I didn't even know you and I was fine, besides I had an amazing friend and a lovely sister and mom. Then it was when I started seeing things that before I couldn't see because I was blinded by my love for you. I remembered all the cruel things you told me and the ones I told you; I remembered all those times when you ignored me or when you didn't want to do certain things with me; I remembered how you were with me when we first met, when you were ashamed of being with me; I remembered it all. I finally sang the truths and thanks to that, I could forget you.**_"

_**"Freckles... It isn't like that."**_ Darren said distressed.

_**"Just let me finish, Darren."**_ You said firmly and roundly. _**"Even though I realized it all, I was still feeling depressed. My mom didn't know what to do to make me feel good again, but eventually she found the way. I needed to be away from all the things I knew that reminded me of you. So, she gave me a new phone with a new number so you wouldn't be able to contact me to make me feel bad; that is why we moved from San Francisco to Los Angeles; I went to a school there and I met cool people who made me stop thinking about you; that is why I even used a fake name in Facebook, so you wouldn't find me in internet; that is why we hid every evidence that could make you find me. It was as if I wasn't in earth anymore for you."**_ You explained and Darren was looking at you frowning and open-mouthed, as if he was understanding something. _**"And that is why I tried to be busy all the time, to not think about you and to forget you. It allowed me to change my personality by hanging out with my new friends, allowed me to lose weight by going to the gym, and allowed me to learn new things, such as play tennis, play the guitar, sing, paint and draw, act, and make handcrafts. I loved doing all those things and it made me want to live life again the way I deserved, it made me happy again. And it came a point that I stopped thinking about you and that made me feel really happy. You were no one for me; I didn't care about you anymore. It took me a long time, but I got it."**_ You said looking at him as he looked at you hurt, his eyes were teary.

_**"That is... That is tough."**_ He whispered with teary voice, looking down.

_**"I know, and I'm sorry. But it was like that, you really hurt me, Darren; but I understood that it doesn't matter in how many pieces my heart broke, the world wouldn't stop for me to fix it; so I just had to find a way to do it, and the only way was to forget you."**_ You said biting your lower lip, looking down.

_**"So, all this time, all you tried to do was only to forget me."**_ He said still looking down, frowning and distressed. _**"And when you got it, you felt happy again. Because I wasn't part of your life anymore, for that you were happy." **_

_**"Yes."**_ You answered curtly. It was hard to tell him this, but he needed to know; you wouldn't lie to him. Darren looked up to you with teary eyes and then he looked down again.

_**"So, I shouldn't be afraid to assure that when you saw me again after a year... You weren't happy, you didn't like to see me again."**_ He said almost in a whisper.

_**"No, it's not like that."**_ You said and Darren looked at you abruptly. You needed to explain him. _**"When I decided to attend the University of Michigan, I was aware that, eventually, I was going to see you. So I was prepared for that moment. Of course I never expected that it could happen so soon and that my roommate could be your friend. I was decided to act with you in a way that I'd act with any stranger; because we were that, we were strangers regardless of all that happened between us in the past. We were strangers because nothing of what we had was true." **_You said and he looked down again. _**"I was prepared to see you, Darren. I was decided to act like a stranger with you. But I couldn't get it. I felt good when I saw you again and I wasn't supposed to feel like that. That is why I act in a weird way with you; because you make me laugh, but then I remember why we are apart and so I act distant with you." **_

_**"I don't understand you."**_ He said frustrated. _**"You say that you wanted to forget me, but then you got prepared to see me; then you saw me and I make you feel good, but you don't want to feel good with me... I just don't get it."**_

_**"What I'm trying to say is that..." **_You started saying and then you sighed. _**"You know? Occasionally I like to think about all these people who taught me so many things that I had never imagined before. They taught me well, very well when it was much needed, showed me so many things I never thought were possible. I like to think about all those friends deep inside my heart who, when I had no chance, gave me one. You were one of them and for that never, in my entire life; I'll forget your presence. You welcomed me and restored me whole, complete. But now I'm a different person, I changed. And I forgot you in terms of the love affair we had."**_

_**"I see..."**_ He said gloomy, while looking down, biting his lower lip and nodding. Then he looked up to you, distressed. _**"I really thought that we were going to last."**_

_**"I also thought that we were going to last; but you see, at the end nothing lasts forever and we lose those people we once loved. Nothing is forever; the coffee cools, the smoke clears, time passes, and people change." **_You said shrugging, looking at the stars and feeling weird. You finally were talking to him and it was a tranquil talk, it surprised you.

_**"I know that nothing lasts forever. But actually we never lose the people we love. They achieve immortality through us. They're still alive in our hearts and in our minds. They're always involved in each of our actions, ideas and decisions. And you were one of those people for me."**_ Darren said and you looked at him, frowning. _**"You're still one of those people for me; you're always in my heart and mind, all the fucking time."**_ He said looking deeply into your eyes. He couldn't say that to you.

_**"You should stop doing it, Darren; it's not good for you."**_ You said sadly, looking at him.

_**"Why?"**_ He asked almost desperate.

_**"Because I'm not the girl I used to be, so I shouldn't be involved in your ideas and decisions; I shouldn't be in your heart all the time. And because while I'm still in your heart, you might have hopes of something that won't happen that is us being together again."**_ You explained and you knew it sounded rough, but it was the truth.

_**"Why do you say it won't happen again? How can you be so sure about the future?"**_ He asked frowning.

_**"Because I've made a lot of mistakes and you've made a lot of mistakes; mistakes that are hard to forget and mistakes that I don't want to remember and I'm sure you don't want it either. Mistakes that hurt me too much and took me a long time to overcome."**_ You replied.

_**"Well, yes, I've made mistakes. Life didn't come with instructions."**_ Darren answered now kind of upset, raising an eyebrow and looking at the stars.

_**"I know, Darren, and it is okay. But actually, what I'm trying to say is that what we had probably was a mistake because we never were meant to be together."**_ You said, also looking at the stars. It was really hard to say it, but he needed to understand. He looked at you frowning and apparently anguished.

_**"So, if what we had was a mistake; then you were my favorite mistake. And I'll never regret something that once made me smile."**_ He said looking deeply into your eyes as he held your hand again. You quickly let it out and looked at him frowning.

_**"Stop saying those things, Darren."**_ You said roundly, looking at him fixedly. _**"It hurts me."**_ You said with teary voice. Damn, you shouldn't want to cry. _**"It broke my heart when you dumped me, Darren. So I don't want to hear you saying those things because it hurts me. It'd be different if our relationship would have ended in a different way; but you disappeared leaving me alone. For that I always regret what we had and for that I don't want you to say those things."**_ You said with teary voice again and Darren was looking at you really distressed. Then he sat and moved closer to you, while looking deeply into your eyes.

_**"Do you regret the beginning which ended so badly, or just the ending itself? Because if you regret the beginning, then you regret absolutely everything we had together, all the things we've experienced and learned that made us be what we are now. And if you regret the ending itself, then we can fix it, we can give it another ending that would be a new beginning." **_Darren said holding your hands again. He seemed to be desperate and he had teary eyes.

_**"Stop, Darren, stop."**_ You said with choked voice and you couldn't help it, you started shedding some tears. Geez, it had been a long time since the last time you cried. Darren softly wiped away your tears with his thumb and you moved his hand away. _**"I don't want you to touch me, Darren. I don't want you to say me lovely things. I don't want this. I just want you to stop because you're hurting me; it hurts me the way you treat me now, so nice and kind all the time. How can you treat me like that after what you've done to me? How can you play with my feelings like that? I just won't allow that. You hurt me once, you won't hurt me twice."**_ You said roundly but with teary voice.

_**"Okay, I won't do anything of that if that is what you want. But first you have to listen all I have to tell you. First you have to listen how things actually were."**_ Darren said looking away and serious, also with choked voice.

_**"Okay, fine."**_ You answered, also looking away and still feeling bad.

_**"Well... I never wanted to dump you, I never wanted to disappear and I never wanted us to part." **_He said with choked voice and you looked at him frowning in disbelief.

_**"Are you serious, Darren?"**_ You asked ironically.

_**"Yes, I'm totally serious."**_ He said expressly, now looking at you. _**"What I felt for you was true love, so what we had, was real. I never stopped loving you. Never."**_ He emphasized.

_**"Just quit telling lies, Darren. I'm sick of your lies."**_ You said sighing in disbelief, shaking your head.

_**"I'm not telling a damn lie. Nothing was a lie; that you think happened is a lie, Freckles."**_ Darren said firmly and you just kept shaking your head. _**"I was forced to leave you."**_ He said now desperate.

_**"How come, huh?"**_ You asked raising an eyebrow, still not believing he was saying that. You weren't stupid anymore; he wasn't going to fool you.

_**"When we were sleeping in that hotel room, someone knocked the door. It was Jim and he had a fucking gun. He threatened me by telling me if I didn't write that note to you and if I didn't walk away from you to never come back; he was going to shoot you. I was scared."**_ Darren said with trembling voice and looking at you exasperated. You looked at him frowning, suspiciously.

_**"And you expect me to believe this..."**_

_**"No, you don't have to believe me if you don't want. But I'm telling you the truth." **_He said looking deeply into your eyes. He seemed to be honest, but you couldn't believe him.

_**"How am I supposed to believe you, Darren? How after you dumped me?" **_

_**"I'm telling you that I didn't dump you, goddammit!"**_ He exclaimed exasperated and a bit upset and you looked at him astonished. He noticed this, so he sighed. _**"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to yell at you. Listen, you don't have to believe me. I'm just asking you to listen to me. I've been waiting for this moment to talk to you about this like... like forever. So please, give me the chance to tell you what happened regardless if you believe me or not."**_ He begged looking deeply into your eyes.

_**"Okay, fine. I'll listen to you."**_ You answered, trying to be less rude to him. Maybe he was telling you the truth, maybe not. You still didn't know, but you had to listen to him just the way he listened to you.

_**"Jim forced me to do it; he was aiming me and you with the gun while you were sleeping. I was scared and I had no fucking idea what I should do, so I wrote the note just as he forced me. After that, he took me to a car and he hit me and left me in middle of nowhere. I was too weak to walk and go to the hotel room again. I don't know how, but when I woke up I was at a hospital. I only wanted to talk to you, but doctors wouldn't let me to leave the hospital and I was still scared that Jim could come back to shoot you or something. After that, I had to come to Ann Arbor and I didn't have the chance to see you before. I felt really bad."**_ He said with teary voice and eyes as you were looking at him serious, trying to believe him, but you just couldn't, even if he seemed to be honest. _**"I tried to find you, you know? I spent a whole damn year looking for you everywhere; I went to St. Ignatius but they couldn't give me any kind of information; I went to your house, no one was there; I went to your dad's house, he wasn't there; I went to every place we used to go but you weren't there; I tried to call you but your phone number wasn't the same; I searched for you in every telephone directory, in every high school of the state; I searched you in internet; I never could find anything at all, but I didn't want to give up. My brother thought I was completely insane and he was telling me all the time that I should forget you because you weren't going to appear. Jen was the only one who supported me because she knew what you meant to me; she helped me, but we never got anything. Not even a damn shit."**_ He said with cracked voice and teary eyes. Yes, you didn't like to see him like that, but you just couldn't believe.

_**"Well, now you know why..."**_ Was the only thing you could say. Darren was looking down, frowning, apparently feeling distressed.

_**"Yes, now I know. But it was hard for me. I couldn't keep being like that, it was taking me away; my life was going by and I wasn't living it the way I should. I needed to find you, but it was impossible. I really needed to let you go."**_ He said still looking down and frowning, with teary voice. _**"And it hurts to let go. Sometimes it seems the harder you try to hold on to something, or someone, the more it wants to get away. You feel like some kind of criminal for having felt, for having wanted. For having wanted to be wanted. It confuses you, because you think that your feelings were wrong and it makes you feel so small because it's so hard to keep it inside when you let it out and it doesn't come back. You're left so alone that you can't explain. Damn, there's nothing like that, is there? I've been there and you have too." **_He said with cracked voice, looking into your eyes.

_**"Yes, I have."**_ You answered gloomy, being honest. _**"Yes, there's nothing like that... But I've overco..."**_

_**"You've overcome it, yeah."**_ He interrupted you. _**"And I thought I've overcome it too, but I was wrong. When I saw you again I realized I was wrong. I tried to go out with other people, other girls; just to see if in that way I could forget you. And I really thought I got it, but I was just fooling myself with things that weren't. When I saw you again, I realized that I was still in love with you and any other stupid love affair I had last year was just a farce. You were back, Freckles. You have no idea how fucking much I've been waiting for that moment to come, to see you again. You were back."**_ He said with choked voice, now letting out a tear. You couldn't cry, even though you were feeling that pain in the chest.

_**"I was back. But not for you." **_You said kind of coldly, looking away and you noticed that Darren looked down and closed his eyes while frowning and then he looked up again.

_**"I know, I figured it."**_ He whispered gloomy. _**"It really hurt me the way you were being with me. You need to understand that I've spent a long year searching you unceasingly; feeling really bad because I didn't have you and I still loved you, I missed you like hell; because you were the best I've ever had; and everything was unfair, it was unfair to be away from you. And when I saw you standing there... I was... I felt such happiness that I can't explain, I was shocked, I was stunned. And when we started getting along and everything seemed to be fine, I thought 'Damn, I'm so happy, man'."**_ He exclaimed with a bright smile but teary voice and eyes. And he let out another tear; you couldn't tell if that was a tear of joy or a tear of sadness; or just a fake tear. _**"It didn't last so much... You started being distant and kind of mean to me. I swear I tried to understand you, all the time I was trying to remember that you were still thinking that I truly wanted to dump you, that you still didn't know that actually I was forced to do it; so I needed to understand you. But it was being hard, it was hurting me way too much the way you were super nice and adorable and funny with my friends while you were being cold with me." **_He said looking down and wiping away his tears. He paused for a while; he was trying to calm down. You didn't know what to do.

_**"I'm sorry, Darren. I couldn't pretend any longer, I couldn't stop thinking about all the things you did. I was fine before I saw you again, you know? I was fine."**_ You said.

It sounded really harsh, but you couldn't help it. Darren remained silent and you noticed that he started shedding more tears; even if he was trying to hide it, even if he was looking away on purpose so you wouldn't notice that he was indeed crying; you noticed it. You really didn't know what to think or what to do. What if he was telling the truth? But what if he was lying again?

_**"I'm sorry that I made you wrong. It was never my intention."**_ He finally whispered, still looking away, so you couldn't see his eyes. _**"I feel bad for having lost you; even if you're back, I still don't have you. You're not the same person with who I fell in love with, and I'm not the person with who you fell in love with. I used to know you so much, and I still remember everything about you, about the girl you used to be. But you're different now and I don't know you anymore, I don't even know what your real personality is; if it's the way you act with my friends or if it's the way you act with me. And it just hurts... Because I'm still in love with a girl that is in front of me right now, but I can't be in love with that girl, because that girl is not what I used to know. It just confuses me. And I'm sorry, but that is how I feel, I didn't choose to feel like that. Sorry."**_

_**"You know? My real personality is the way I act with your friends. That's the real me; the happy and kind girl, the funny, friendly and confident girl. But somehow, I can't be like that with you, you unbalanced me, Darren. Because every time I look at you, I can't avoid remembering the way I was, always so insecure and shy; and I don't wanna be like that anymore. That's why I can't act like myself with you."**_ You explained in all honesty.

_**"You were adorable, Freckles. You're still like that, but... You lost something about your magic; I don't know what it is... But something is missing you, and I'm sure that you know it." **_Darren said looking at the panorama, sitting on the ground and wrapping his arms around his bent legs. You only looked down; yes, you knew what it was. _**"But I do understand you, as senseless as it may sound; because I'm not myself when I'm around you either; for different reasons than yours, though. Actually I'm a goober, silly, funny and sassy and weird guy; but when you're around, I'm this stupid, shy and gloomy guy, it's pathetic." **_He said making a face of disgust, frowning. _**"And the reason of why I'm like that with you is because I see how you're so distant while you're so close; and the worst way of missing someone is to be sitting beside her knowing you can't have her. And I perfectly know why I can't have you, I'm not a fool."**_ Darren said finally looking at you. Then his eyes filled in tears again. _**"And I'm like that with you because I feel extremely guilty and I'm all the time thinking that I deserve what I get; but at the same time I'm not sure if this is what I deserve." **_He said with cracked voice, apparently hopelessly looking into your eyes. _**"I feel like a terrible and horrid person; but I'm not a bad person, I've just made a lot of mistakes, probably huge mistakes; but I am not... I am not a bad guy; I just want to, you know, I want to get it right. And it's hard to do while you keep reminding me something that I haven't even done. I feel bad not for what you think I did; I feel bad because I gave up on searching you to explain you this, I feel bad because of the way I made you feel, even if I wasn't the one to blame. I feel horrid."**_ Darren said now shedding the tears while looking at you and then he turned his face to wipe away his tears; he seemed to be ashamed of you seeing him crying. That made you feel really bad, the way he seemed to be very distressed. Maybe he was really telling you the truth.

_**"You're not a bad guy... It's just that I can't... I can't..."**_ You stammered because you were feeling nervous and sad at the same time; you just didn't know what was true and what not, you were confused.

_**"You can't believe me. I get it, and that's okay."**_ He said with teary voice and he looked deeply into your eyes now that he wiped his tears away. _**"I'm not asking you to believe me; I'm not even asking you to be together again... The only I want from you is your forgiveness. I need you to forgive all my bad, because I have this pain and guilt inside me that isn't allowing me to move on; a pain that I've had since the last time I saw you in that hotel room and that didn't allow me to feel completely fine not even once in a year. I need to release this pain."**_ He said with teary voice and eyes, but avoiding your eyes and you started to feel anguished. _**"Please, I beg you to forgive me and I swear I'll leave you in peace if that is what you want. Please, forgive me, Freckles."**_ Darren begged with teary voice, now looking at you straight in your eye while tears were streaming down his face.

Oh geez, it's been a long time since the last time you felt like this. Your heart went out when you saw him crying like that, very desperate and stricken. Genuinely, your heart sank. He couldn't be lying, not after this; he couldn't pretend this. And he was only asking you to forgive him, nothing else. You couldn't help it; the way he was sobbing made you shed some tears as you looked deeply into his eyes. Damn, he'd been feeling really sorrowful all this time, he'd been feeling guilty all this time and he only wanted to talk to you to ask you your forgiveness; and all this time, the only you did was to act mean to him. You should've been more considered regardless of what you thought he did. You finally sat and moved closer to him to place a hand above his. You looked deeply into his teary and sad hazel eyes.

_**"I forgive you, Darren."**_ You whispered with teary voice because you were still shedding tears.

When Darren heard this, he sobbed even more disconsolately, so you just hugged him. It was a true and meaningful hug; the first real hug you gave him since you saw him after a year. He buried his head on your chest as he wrapped his arms around your waist and you wrapped your arms around his neck and started caressing his curly hair. He kept crying and you could sense how he was having difficulties to breathe; you were also crying because this was a very sad situation and you wouldn't stop feeling that pain in your heart.

_**"Thank you, thank you so much." **_He said still sobbing while still burying his head on your chest.

You didn't know what to say, so instead you kissed the part of his forehead that was visible. He had his eyes closed and he wouldn't stop crying, you didn't know what to do to stop it. And you couldn't believe that you were crying, you couldn't remember the last time you did. You slowly placed a hand in his cheek so he looked at you as you wanted. Though, you didn't move your hand away from his cheek and he was just looking at you with those big hazel eyes; you remembered that his eyes were one of the things you loved the most of him. Since that moment, you only acted by instinct. You leaned and rested your forehead against his, and the two of you closed your eyes. You remained like this for a while, in silence until you kissed his lips very slightly. His lips were the same, they tasted as you remembered, they were just as soft as you remembered; and all that made your heart skip a beat, feeling a deep nostalgia in your heart. After that slight kiss, you remained with your eyes closed and touching slightly his lips with yours. Everything seemed to be the same, but this time it didn't feel right; because Darren wasn't that high school boy you knew and you weren't that high school girl. It just wasn't right and you knew it; but in that moment, you had to do it because it was something that was pending between you both. Like that last kiss of goodbye.

_**"We can't do this."**_ You whispered in front of his lips, now opening your eyes.

He also opened his eyes and looked intensely into your eyes with those breathtaking hazel eyes. When he heard this, he looked down and shed one last tear. He just nodded slightly, in silence.

_**"I know..."**_ He whispered after a while, still looking down. _**"I set you free now. We can stop seeing each other now that I got what I needed; if that is what you want and if that is what is gonna make you happy again.**_"

_**"No, I propose you something instead."**_ You whispered gently and he looked into your eyes again.

_**"What?"**_ He asked with a hint of hopes in his eyes.

_**"We made it clear that you don't know me anymore and that I don't know you anymore. We're strangers right now, so we should act such as that. We should get to know each other again."**_ You proposed.

_**"Like a fresh start?"**_ He asked with bright eyes full of hopes.

_**"Like a fresh start."**_ You assured, smiling slightly. _**"Maybe we could get to be friends. Who knows?"**_ You said shrugging, still grinning slightly.

_**"I'd love that."**_ He said with a sweet smile and still with bright eyes. _**"Can I hug you one last time?"**_

_**"Of course you can."**_ You replied and he smiled before hugging you.

_**"Thank you, Freckles, for letting me talk about this that I was holding back. And thank you for being honest to me about how you were feeling. Even if you don't believe me, thank you for listening."**_ He whispered softly in your ear while you were still hugging.

_**"You too, Darren, you too. We really needed to talk and I'm glad we did."**_ You whispered before parting from the hug. _**"I think we should come back to the camp now. It is cold and really late."**_

_**"Yeah, we should."**_ He said standing up and searching for his flashlight while you stood up. _**"Damn!"**_ He exclaimed loudly, apparently concerned, hitting the flashlight with his hands.

_**"What happens?"**_ You asked frowning, looking at him who was still hitting the flashlight with his hands.

_**"This shit wouldn't turn on."**_ He said kind of annoyed and kind of worried.

_**"What?"**_ You exclaimed now really worried. Oh no, this wasn't happening.

_**"I think it ran out of battery."**_ He replied now looking at you concerned.

_**"What are we gonna do now, Darren?"**_ You asked perplexed. _**"Do you know the way back? Can we do that without the flashlight?"**_

_**"No... I mean yes, I know the way back; but we have to walk through the forest and we need the flashlight." **_

_**"Oh my god, what are we gonna do? What?"**_ You asked aghast.

_**"I don't know!"**_ He exclaimed exasperated. _**"We're gonna have to wait until the sun rises. I just... I don't know what else we can do." **_

_**"What? Wait till the sun rises? Here? In middle of nowhere, cold and in the dark? Are you saying that we have to spend the night here?" **_You asked really terrified.

_**"Yes! Damn, I don't know what else we can do! I'm sorry... I don't wanna spend the night here either, but we have no other option, Freckles." **_Darren exclaimed frowning, apparently moody and you tried to calm down.

_**"Well, maybe it's not gonna be so bad... It may not be long before dawn."**_ You said trying to sound positive, because Darren said it; you had no options so you needed to see the good side of this. _**"At least it's a mighty fine starry night and it's a beautiful place. And well... Maybe it's gonna be cool to see the dawn in this amazing place."**_

_**"Yeah..."**_ Darren whispered looking at you with a smile, apparently surprised because of your positivism. _**"Yeah, surely it'll be cool."**_

_**"Maybe... Maybe we just need to make a campfire here, so we won't be so cold."**_ You proposed because you were really cold, you didn't bring a coat.

_**"Yes, the problem is that I do not have an ignition source."**_ He replied sighing.

_**"I do have a lighter."**_ You said pulling out from your pocket a cigarette pack and you handed the lighter to Darren. He looked at you frowning.

_**"Do you smoke?"**_ He asked gingerly.

_**"Yeah, just occasionally."**_ You replied shrugging.

_**"Since when?"**_ He asked again, apparently he was surprised.

_**"I don't know... About more than a half-year."**_ You replied and he kept looking at you frowning. _**"But I'm not a committed and daily smoker; I only smoke in certain situations." **_

_**"I see..."**_ He replied taking the lighter, still frowning.

_**"What? Does it surprise you?"**_ You asked looking at him.

_**"Yes, it does. You don't seem the kind of girl who smokes. I can't say anything, though. I smoked few times, but just when I'm at parties and after I drank alcohol." **_Darren said shrugging and you looked at him curious.

_**"Well, you either seem the kind of guy who smokes."**_ You said amused and he chuckled softly.

_**"I guess that neither of us is what we seem to be."**_ He answered, still chuckling softly. _**"Alright, I'll gather some kindling." **_

_**"I'll help you."**_ You said walking next to him.

So Darren and you started gathering some kindling to make that campfire. He convinced you that the best was going to make the campfire in the part of rocks because in the grass you were going to get wet because of the soil moisture and probably you would end up getting sick. So you were now sitting around the campfire, just looking at the panorama and stars in silence. You had no idea what time it was, but you didn't care anymore; you were just trying to enjoy the moment even though you were still a bit cold. Neither you nor Darren spoke, both of you were thoughtful. You were still thinking about the things Darren said. What if he told you the truth? What if he never meant to leave and everything, all the suffering, was Jim's fault? You looked surreptitiously at Darren; he was peacefully looking at the view in front of him, sitting with his arms wrapped around his bended legs, resting his chin on his knees; the campfire light was illuminating his face and it was making him look beautiful. Then you thought... If he was telling the truth and everything was Jim's fault... What if he also suffered your separation? Could he have suffered just as much as you? You couldn't stop looking at him, thinking about it. Then Darren glanced at your direction and when he caught you looking at him, he smiled friendly; you just smiled back and you looked at the panorama again. Then a cold breeze blew and it made you shiver; damn, even if you were next to the campfire, you were still cold.

_**"Here, take it."**_ Darren suddenly said and you looked at him again. He was handing you his hoodie. That was very sweet gesture.

_**"Oh, no! I'm fine, thanks."**_ You smiled kindly.

_**"Come on, you're freezing. Take it." **_

_**"No, it's okay, really. I don't want you freeze because of my fault; I'm young to be jailed."**_ You said jokingly and Darren laughed softly.

_**"You see, we have a problem there; because if you don't take it, then you're gonna press charges against me because I forced you to do something you didn't want. So, options are whether you take it now and we both are gonna be safe and sound or you don't take it, so then I'll force you and I'm gonna freeze and we both are gonna be jailed. It's up to you."**_ Darren said smiling amused, looking at you. You looked at him just as amused as him, open-mouthed.

_**"You sneaky devil! Well played, Criss." **_You said shaking your head, laughing while you took his hoodie and put it on. Oh geez, it had his smell and you always loved it.

_**"I'm good, aren't I?"**_ Darren said mischievously. _**"That hoodie looks good on you."**_

_**"You gotta be kidding me, Darren. Look, it's baggy. I totally look like Chuckie Finster, the redheaded character of The Rugrats."**_ You said frowning but amused and Darren just laughed out loud.

_**"Not at all! You first have to dye your hair. And you need glasses. See? Keep on trying, my dear."**_ He said laughing and you looked at him amused, raising an eyebrow.

_**"Oh, you think you're very clever..." **_

_**"Oh yeah, I'm very witty and keen."**_ He answered winking, with a mischievous and sexy smile.

_**"And you most definitely have a knack for flirting, sir."**_ You answered giggling, shaking your head.

_**"Not sure about it... Should I try to figure it out?"**_ He asked looking at you mischievously.

_**"You can yeah, but you aren't considering the options of being kicked on your ass because of that." **_You replied also mischievously.

_**"Maybe I could take the risk."**_ He said moving closer and still looking at you in that way.

You knew well this kind of situation; you knew how it could end, because you've been there with your ex-boyfriend Ian. Everything was going to start like a simple game, an innocent and playful flirting game; neither of you would have the intention to go further; but the more flirting, the more intense it was going to get. Then the two of you would end up in an intimate situation without even realizing how you ended up like that because you never had the intention to get that. Oh yeah, you knew it; so you needed to stop with this, even though you were aware that Darren was doing it only in a jokingly way.

_**"You better don't, Darren. Talking in all seriousness."**_ You said now looking away.

_**"I was just joking. You know that, right?"**_ He said after a while, frowning.

_**"Yes, I know."**_ You replied with a faint smile.

_**"Good."**_ He said nodding.

You stayed silent for a while, neither of you looking at each other, until you looked at him surreptitiously. He was now laying on the ground, placing his head above his arms, just watching the stars in silence. Could he be feeling bad? Did you say it in a rude way? It was hard now to find out what he was thinking, unlike the old times; he just seemed to be very deep in thought. A cool breeze blew again and this time it was him the one who shivered. Of course, he gave you his hoodie even though he was also cold. Maybe you were still acting rude with him and he was still acting nice to you; maybe you should stop doing that. You moved closer to him and he noticed this, so he finally glanced at you, frowning slightly and still lying on the ground. You didn't say anything at all, you just lay down on the ground right next to him, and then you turned to your side and wrapped your arms around him to give him warmth. He stiffened with your touch and looked at you stunned, raising his eyebrows in surprise. However, he turned to his side and wrapped his arms around you, snuggling up to you to keep the warmth. Now you were face to face and you were looking deeply into each other's eyes in the light of the campfire.

_**"Thanks, I was kinda cold."**_ He whispered with a kind smile.

_**"Do you want the hoodie back?"**_ You asked softly.

_**"No, keep it."**_ He replied shortly, still smiling.

_**"Thank you."**_ You said smiling warmly. _**"Are we gonna freeze to death?"**_

_**"Maybe..."**_ He answered laughing softly. _**"But if we stay like this, I doubt we could die. So don't worry, we still have a long life to live."**_ He said still giggling softly.

_**"Okay, I trust you."**_ You said smiling kindly and then you snuggled up even closer. Now Darren was looking at you with bright eyes, it was an intense look. _**"What?"**_ You asked curiously.

_**"Nothing."**_ He answered softly, but still looking at you in that intense way.

Then he started caressing your cheek very smoothly, while still looking intensely into your eyes and smiling slightly. For some reason you let him doing so because it was making you feel a pleasant ticklish in your tummy, something that Ian never got to make you feel. Darren's eyes were really bright and more in the light of the campfire. Minutes after, he rested his forehead on yours and started nuzzling your nose with his, now closing his eyes. Damn, this feeling... This feeling you haven't felt for a long. As an instinct, you also closed your eyes and placed your hands on his chest. Well, his chest was more toned than what you remembered. Stop, you shouldn't feel like that. No matter how you were feeling in that moment, that wasn't the Darren you knew and he was the guy who left you alone, who made you suffer. But his touching felt so good.

_**"Give me one night. Only one night."**_ Darren whispered still with his eyes closed, but you opened your eyes to frown in confusion.

_**"One night? I don't understand."**_ You whispered, looking at him who still had his eyes closed and who kept nuzzling your nose with his.

_**"Give me a night to say goodbye to you, then we can start from scratch. Please."**_ He begged softly now opening his eyes and looking at you with bright eyes. There was hope in his eyes.

_**"What do you wanna do?" **_You asked still confused. Anyway, deep inside, you knew what he meant, you knew what he wanted and that made you feel nervous.

_**"I want just to relive what we used to be before we parted. Only for tonight forget what happened with us, forget who we are now, forget everything. Only for tonight I want to feel that I still have the girl I missed as hell, that I still have someone who truly understands and loves me and a person that I love back just as much, just as before. Only for tonight."**_ He said looking deeply into your eyes. Wow, his eyes never were so bright. But you were nervous, you couldn't do that. _**"You have no idea how much I longed for this moment to have you in my arms again, to feel it again, one last time. And we never could say goodbye to each other, let me do it tonight and I promise you that tomorrow we'll be what we are now again. Just give me the chance."**_ He begged with chocked voice and you had to look away because his words were piercing your heart.

Yes, you also longed for this moment. You always longed for a worthy goodbye. Damn, you always longed to feel the warmth and comfort of his arms again. But that was in the past and you couldn't go back in time. You didn't know what to answer. Darren raised your chin softly and you looked into his hazel eyes again. Maybe one last time, maybe the real goodbye. He leaned and closed his eyes as he kissed your lips very slightly, while placing a hand on your jaw. After that slight kiss, he kept resting his forehead on yours and touching his lips with yours, with his eyes still closed, just breathing in front of your lips. You were still looking at him and then you looked at his lips. Maybe you could just let yourself to carry away and just pretend you were still that high school girl who needed to say goodbye to the person she loved the most; even if it wasn't like that anymore. The love you felt for him in high school was really deep to have had that sad goodbye it actually had; this was the chance to change it. So you leaned and kissed his lips also slightly, while placing a hand on his chest and the other hand on the nape of his neck, feeling his curls intertwined in between your fingers. Then Darren placed both of his hands on your jaw and kissed again, this time deeper. He moved closer and his chest touched yours as he intertwined his legs with yours, deepening the kiss. This was the moment you could notice the way his heart was beating fast and the way he was breathing with difficulties. Also his body was trembling the same way than yours. You felt his tongue on your mouth again and this made you feel just as the same way you felt whenever Darren kissed you. You ran your fingers through his very curly and long hair as he also ran his fingers through your short hair. The kiss was really passionate but also sweet and tender; and it was a wet kiss because the two of you were shedding tears for no reason. It was just that the two of you were aware that this was a real goodbye, the one you never got the chance to have. And that was thrilling. He broke the kiss to look into your eyes with teary eyes while caressing your cheek with his thumb.

_**"I never stopped loving you."**_ He whispered in front of your lips and you let out the last tears.

_**"Neither did I."**_ You admitted in a whisper.

You closed your eyes again, just to feel his breathing in front of your face, to feel the warmth of his lips in front of yours, to smell him. Just to feel all you used to feel long time ago. It seemed that Darren was also doing the same because neither of you spoke and neither of you did a movement. Darren was the first to press his lips against yours; he only touched your lips with his but it lasted several minutes. Then he started pecking tenderly and repeatedly your lips while nuzzling your nose with his and while caressing your hair smoothly. You also caressed his curly hair and his cheek; you touched his skin one last time and so did he. You snuggled up even closer and you entire bodies were touching; you could feel the warmth of his body again, one last time. You opened your eyes again and you looked into each other's eyes very deeply; you remained looking at each other like before; you could see his eyes, those same eyes that used to look at you in that way in high school; for the last time. You smiled at each other fondly again. You talked with no words, just as you used to do in high school.

_**"I'll always keep you in my memory and heart; I'll never forget what we had, even if we have to go separate ways now. You'll always be my first and real love, baby."**_ Darren whispered in front of your lips with a fondly smile before the two of you fell asleep while cuddling for one last time.

This was the goodbye that your love deserved.


	37. When I began to love myself

A/N: Hello guys! How are you all? Are you surprised by this early update? Well, yes, that's because I'll be out my city all weekend because I decided I wanted to take a break and enjoy nature. So, I hope you're glad for this! Now, first off, a general thanks for all of your reviews, I'm really happy that you enjoyed the last chapter. I think you'll like this one too. I decided to be less cruel and add more fluff to all the drama! Anyway, I'd like to know your opinion, as always. Again, you won't get a cliffhanger in this chapter! So you can dance your dance of victory and relief. See? I'm not a complete demon. I miss the cliffhangers, though. Okay, I'll stop talking! Now I'll answer you!

alicegursk: Aww! It's so cute the way you really seemed to have enjoyed the last chapter! See? I can be sweet and nice enough to add fluff and cuteness to the story! I want to assume that the tears are tears because of the thrill and not because of frustration! Maybe you'll like this chapter and maybe next one too. Well, I hope so, otherwise I'll be cruel again and start with the cliffhangers again and just, you know, be cruel enough to sleep on the couch again (I don't want that, please!). Where do I live? I wish I could say Pigfarts, next to Rumbleroar's house. Sadly, I live in a country called Argentina. So, I think it'll be expensive a plane from Russian Federation to Argentina, but you can cry on my virtual shoulder for now! As long as you bring chocolates to eat; cause there's nothing better than crying while eating chocolates. I guess. About the famous writer... I have to improve and learn a lot yet! haha. I hope you can enjoy this chapter, Alice! Lots of love for you!

zahra auob: It's good to know that I caused so many feelings! I'm a very dramatic person, hence I needed to write something sad, but also very deep in my heart I'm a helpless romantic, hence I finally wrote something cute and lovely. And hey! You're right about when people see your eyes red after you wake up they'll never think you were crying! Sometimes I do it and when they ask, I answer that I woke up with allergy or that my eyes are burning because I'm still tired or something. Then they won't ask much more. Now I hope you enjoy this new chapter!

Vcriss: haha yes, I understand you; sometimes I ask myself the same: Why can't that be me? Ah! I wish I could kiss Darren. Well, at least I can do it in my mind and no one is gonna forbid me from doing so; unless Darren finds the way to sneak into my mind to kick my ass; then I'd be screwed and I'm sure that many of us would be just as screwed. For the sake of humanity, Darren must not find the way to sneak into other people's mind. And yes, I agree that Darren chooses what he wants to be and I also respect that; unless he decides to be a minds intruder, which I disapprove for the reasons above explained. Anyway, I don't believe Darren is gay in real life; it's just his character on Glee.

MeMi83: Aww thank you Memi! Sometimes I just like writing cute and romantic, always dramatic, chapters! When I realize it's being too dramatic, too problematic, too sad; I like to make the change. Well, they finally talked and I wanted to make it cute because it was unfair the way they ended after the prom, so they really needed a good goodbye. Good thing is that they didn't decide to stop seeing each other. I really like the word you invented 'energeticness', I like how it sounds and I feel really happy to be called like that! And I loved how right after that you mentioned one of my favorite quotes from Darren 'There is nothing more badass than being yourself'. And I did get better, thankfully! Goodbye flu! After a terrible week, the medicines had effect! Thank you, surely it was part of the good vibes you sent me! So now, I'm the one sending you good vibes, besides cheerfulness, warm fuzzies and hopes! And also days full of laughter and surprises!

amritsoomal: You liked it! I'm so very happy that you liked it because I remember I wrote that chapter with a smile on my face. And... You started following me on Twitter, right? Well, I followed you back! I only want to warn that lately I haven't used it so much, because lately I'm really busy! But maybe someday we could talk on Twitter! Now I hope you like this new chapter!

Kaylacriss332: Will they ever be together? Umm, I'll pretend I'm Darren and I'll say 'I don't know!'. Maybe they will be together soon and just give a fuck about the world and eat redvines and jump from rainbow to rainbow. Maybe they will be together but after a long time because they are cowards or because they are unsure, or whatever they think in their odd minds. Or maybe they will never be together because a jealous wolf that saw the nice wolf will eat them. That jealous bitch! I mean wolf. You want a pet wolf? I'll give you a virtual pet wolf! *throws the pet wolf* Be careful because it'll lick your face and it could be a little sticky!

Guest: You read it while listening to melancholic piano music? Do you wanna know something funny? I wrote this chapter while listening to piano music; I was listening 'Cinema Paradiso' by Ennio Morricone, 'I Giorni' by Ludovico Einaudi, 'Rain' by Brian Crain, 'A thousand years' by The Piano Guys, 'Looking Back' by Kerry Muzzey, 'Life and death' by Michael Giacchino, among other songs. I love piano and violin. So I'm really glad you read the chapter while listening to piano songs! Were you eating Mousse au Chocolat and raspberries? I googled it... How you dare not to share with me! That thing seems completely delicious! All I get to eat is a lame and boring fruit! I desperately want chocolate right now! See? Now you're the one who's doing things to my emotions!

Nicole: I know it's sad they're saying goodbye, but I can promise that interesting things will happen! Of course their goodbye needed to be nice and cute, I couldn't be a bitch as usual in that moment! haha. Well, I'm glad you could understand more about Jim, and that's only a part! Jim is a weird character for who I'll have to gather much information to try to recreate him in the story. But Jim won't appear any soon! Many things will happen in between. Yes, thankfully we'll be able to watch AVPSY whenever we want! Internet, YouTube, I want to marry you.

caarolineboeira1: I just love the fact you enjoyed the chapter! It returned to be the sweet, romantic, cheesy, fluffy, cute story! There was too much drama and bad things already! Now maybe, hopefully, you'll like this new chapter too! Hopefully you'll go to sleep smiling too! Maybe not as much as the last time, but at least one smile! Now it's time to see how their relationship is gonna develop now that they know more about each other! A little secret? I also missed them hugging and kissing and just being cute.

vicky: It was time for them to be honest with each other! They really needed to talk and finally they did, now maybe they'll stop acting weird around each other. And yes, it's sad that they said goodbye to each other, but remember they spent a whole year without seeing or talking, they're different. That's why they are gonna start from the scratch! And who knows? Maybe they end up falling in love again! Wouldn't it be cute? About your question... Yes, Jim will appear again in their lives. Maybe for bad, or maybe for good; maybe not in person, maybe yes. But he will appear, only that not so soon. I think it's gonna be interesting how Darren and Freckles would react if they get to see him or hear about him again.

SamHolmesCollins: You put Sam in your name again! I loved writing about them being together again, at least for one night. Oh! Will they fall in love again? I'm not sure about it; I could be a total bitch and not write about them falling in love again; or maybe my mind will act nicely and write, someday, about them falling in love again. Other things will happen in between and you might be confused and maybe, if I do it right, I'll make you think for a few chapters that you don't want Darren and Freckles together again because you want other things... Now I'll add my wicked laugh: Muahaha. I don't hate Blam, I really like them... And I want to clarify that I like them as friends, nothing more; because I didn't like at all the crush Blaine had on Sam. And maybe I only like Blam because of that episode in which they were superheroes and they were trying to get back the trophy and so then Blam! appeared like one of those slangs for superheroes; maybe just because I laughed and I like superheroes. Maybe. I'll consider about writing a book of advices, but surely it won't work because I can tell advices and all of that only when I'm not really thinking about writing an advice; when I think things too much because I'm somehow forced to write about certain topic, I screw everything. I really need to get the The Land of Stories book; everyday I'm more intrigued to read it, but I'm not sure they sell the book here! I also hate that Klaine now seems to be only dreams. Come what may shouldn't have been a fantasy; I hated that. But I'm sure that they will come back together, otherwise I'll travel to usa only to kick Ryan's ass. Because Klaine is the best couple on Glee, no one ever will be as great as they are. Klaine is real love, it really is. And yes, we're sorty and scarfy! My other otp. Ha! Take that Walker! But hey, Walker could join us sometime, I swear I wouldn't mind. We could throw a facebook party with him! And no, I learned that snickers aren't good. Not even joking. Lots of love for you, my Sherlock!

AnSofiekeeeh: You were hurried! I'm glad you could make it to let me know what you thought about the chapter! I'm super happy that you liked it and I really hope you can like this one too! At least there won't be a cliffhanger so you won't have to suffer it. Well, but I think is a nice chapter and not so dramatic!

Alright guys, that's all for today. I should really go to sleep right now cause I have to wake up in 5 hours to start travelling! Yay! I hope you can enjoy this chapter and I wish you all a week full of your favorite things of life! Do not forget to smile and make someone smile! Lots of warm fuzzies! Until next Saturday!

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**Teenage Dream – Chapter 37 – When I began to love myself.**

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I slowly opened my eyes feeling how my whole body was hurting but anyway something was feeling particularly pleasant. When I rubbed my eyes and I looked beside me, I found out why I was feeling something pleasant: Freckles was sleeping right next to me. I smiled at her even though she was still sleeping and couldn't see me. I snuggled up to her even closer and I rested my nose on her neck, still wrapping my arms around her. We finally could talk but I still wasn't sure that she believed me. I wished she could, but if not, it was okay; she was going to realize with time that I never wanted to leave her. At least we talked and we agreed to have a fresh start and it meant that I wasn't going to lose her completely. At least last night I could say goodbye to her and now I felt relieved; now I didn't have that pain I always had for feeling guilty, for feeling that something was missing. Yeah, it was weird to say goodbye to what we had; yeah, I felt a bit sad... But I still had her and that was what mattered. This fresh start could be a good thing, just as Joey said. I still had to get to know her again, I still had to find out how she was now; maybe I was going to find out that I don't love her anymore, that we should be only friends; or maybe not. The truth was that when we kissed last night, when we cuddled and caressed; I felt exactly the same feelings I used to have whenever I was with her; everything remained there, intact. But I made her a promise and I wasn't going to break it. I promised her that after last night, we were going to start from scratch. What were my plans now? I didn't have one, I was just going to be myself and show her the way I was now; I was going to enjoy my time with her, just as two people that are starting to know each other; I was just going to be friendly. But for now that she was still sleeping, I was going to hold her in my arms, feel her skin and smell her perfume, just one last time. Oh sweet wizard god, it was really good to have her back, even if it wasn't as before. I smiled really joyfully when I thought about this. I leaned and I kissed her cheek softly.

_**"Are you planning to wake up, Sleeping Beauty?"**_ I whispered in her ear and she frowned, still with her eyes closed. _**"It's a beautiful day; it'd be a shame to waste it sleeping. Today is a good day to have a great day."**_

_**"Do not be annoying, Darren."**_ She growled and I giggled softly, nuzzling my nose on her neck and she chuckled softly. _**"You're tickling me!"**_

_**"You know I won't stop until you wake up."**_ I said jokingly, still nuzzling my nose on her neck and she kept giggling.

_**"Okay, okay, stop it!"**_ She said laughing as she opened her eyes to look at me with a cheerful smile. I looked at her and I smiled kindly.

_**"Morning Freckles."**_ I said kissing her cheek slightly and she smiled softly.

_**"Morning, handsome."**_ She said chuckling and I looked at her amused, raising my eyebrows.

_**"Handsome?" **_I asked still amused.

_**"Yeah, handsome."**_ She repeated with an amused smile, now sitting and stretching her arms while yawning and rubbing her eyes.

_**"I'll take it as a compliment."**_ I answered amused, sitting next to her.

_**"Of course it is, silly."**_ She said chuckling and then she stood up. _**"Oh my god, what time is it?"**_

_**"I have no idea, but I'm pretty sure it already dawned."**_ I said joking, standing up behind her while placing my hands on her shoulders as I started massaging them.

_**"Oh, boy!"**_ She moaned in pleasure. _**"Do you have any idea of how much I wanted massages? You were always good at it, unlike Ian." **_

_**"Who's Ian?"**_ I asked curiously while I kept massaging her shoulders.

_**"Oh, my ex."**_ She answered quietly and I suddenly got strained. So Ian was the guy that replaced me.

_**"Oh, I see..."**_ I answered in a whisper. I wanted to know more about that guy. _**"Why didn't it work between you and him?" **_

_**"I don't know. We were different and we didn't want the same."**_ She answered shrugging while I kept massaging her shoulders.

_**"But you loved him?"**_ I asked curiously. I shouldn't have asked it because if she answered yes, I was going to feel bad. I really didn't know why I asked that, I was just curious... and maybe jealous too.

_**"Of course I did, otherwise he wouldn't have been my boyfriend."**_ She answered frowning and I felt kinda sad. So she really found someone to love again, she really moved on after me, unlike me. _**"Anyway, I don't feel very comfortable talking about this with you."**_

_**"Yeah, I'm sorry. Let's change the topic."**_ I said quickly, a bit nervous.

_**"Yeah."**_ She answered shortly, now stepping away from me and started observing the view.

_**"Do you wanna come back to the camp?" **_I asked after a while. She turned around and smiled.

_**"No, not really. Why? Do you want to?"**_ She asked with an amused smile. I just raised my eyebrows and snickered.

_**"Well... On one hand, I'd love to stay here with you a bit more. But on the other hand, I'm really starving; so yeah, I think I want to come back." **_I replied.

_**"Okay."**_ She answered shrugging and smiling before she turned around again to observe the view.

_**"So..."**_ I said gingerly. _**"We should go..."**_

_**"We? I don't think so, Criss. You were the one who said that wanted to come back, not me."**_ She replied, still entertained seeing the panorama.

_**"Oh come on, Freckles! Then we can come back if you want! But right now I'm really starving!" **_I almost begged.

_**"I'm not forbidding you to go. You can come back, Darren and that's okay. I just want to be here a little more and explore new places."**_ She said turning around to look at me.

_**"Without me?"**_ I asked raising my eyebrows.

_**"I'd like to do it with you; but if you're starving and you want to come back, I understand."**_ She answered. _**"I can go alone."**_

_**"You wouldn't do it alone."**_ I said.

_**"Oh Criss, you judge me too much."**_ She said smiling amused.

_**"What does it mean?" **_

_**"That I can do it alone. And I'll do it."**_ She answered with an amused smile.

_**"Sure you will."**_ I said sarcastically, also amused.

_**"Do I sense sarcasm?"**_ She asked suspiciously but amused.

_**"No at all!"**_ I exclaimed really sarcastically.

_**"Okay, good, I get it."**_ She said nodding. _**"See you around, Criss. I have new places to explore!"**_ She exclaimed loudly and amused as she started walking away.

_**"You're only feinting to go! You won't do it!"**_ I yelled while she kept walking away.

But she didn't answer me and soon she walked inside the forest, getting lost of my sight. I looked at that direction in which she disappeared, in disbelief, raising my eyebrows and open-mouthed.

_**"I can't believe she actually did it."**_ I exclaimed softly, still stunned. _**"Hey, Freckles! Wait for me!"**_ I yelled as I ran behind her.

I entered the forest, but I couldn't find her. Oh great, the last I needed was to find her again in this forest and see another wolf, but a mean one now. Luckily it wasn't dark as last night, so I could see clearer. I started yelling her name but I didn't get any response from her.

_**"You know what?"**_ I heard her voice yelling and I startled frightened as my heart started beating really fast.

_**"What the hell! You scared the crap out of me!"**_ I yelled still a bit scared, now looking at Freckles who was laughing. _**"Why are you laughing? You almost give me a heart attack!" **_

_**"How very theatrical, Criss!"**_ She said still laughing, placing a hand on my shoulder.

_**"Not for nothing I'm studying that... It all was acted, I'm just practicing."**_ I said looking away with an amused smile.

_**"Sure you are."**_ She mocked me, still laughing and then she finally stopped. _**"What are you doing here anyway? I thought you were starving so you were coming back to the camp." **_

_**"Oh yeah, but it turns out that I couldn't leave here you alone. I mean, what if something comes to happen to you? I need to be here to protect you for your silly, very silly actions."**_ I said pretending to be very serious.

_**"Seriously? Well, that's very nice from you... But I honestly doubt that you can protect me if you keep yelling and squealing like a little child."**_ She scoffed me, raising an eyebrow and looking at me very amused.

_**"Hey! That's not fair, it only happened once. You took me by surprise."**_ I said giggling softly.

_**"Sure, sure."**_ She said chuckling and she started walking, so I followed her.

_**"May I accompany you, lady?"**_ I asked as a gentleman, extending her my hand. She turned her face and looked at me amused.

_**"I don't know... What would I get in return?"**_ She asked playfully.

_**"A totally dork guy who's gonna make your walk even more enjoyable and funny, not to mention that I'm the weird guy who's gonna show you totally awesome places to explore."**_ I said with a goofy smile.

_**"I like how it sounds. You convinced me."**_ She said smiling back and taking my hand.

_**"Really? Have I convinced you so easily? You're easy."**_ I said jokingly.

_**"How did you call me, Criss?"**_ She asked squinting in suspicion.

_**"Just that you're adorable and I'm so honored to join you in your hike."**_ I said shortly.

_**"Oh yeah, I thought so."**_ She said raising an eyebrow, amused.

We walked in silence holding hands for a long time to nowhere in particular, just getting lost out there. She refused when I tried to take her to a specific place because she didn't want to follow any route; she just wanted to get surprised by the things we could find in our way to nowhere. She said it was exciting to get lost in a beautiful place like this and that we needed to take the risk because it was worth it. So yeah, that was a new thing about her that I didn't know... She wasn't like this before; she always liked to plan things before doing them. And I liked this new side of her.

_**"Okay... Freckles, we've been walking for hours. We should really arrive at some place."**_ I complained a bit when my feet started aching. _**"So, where do you wanna go?"**_

_**"Traveler there is no path, paths are made by walking, Antonio Machado said that." **_She said smiling cheerfully and I looked at her in disbelief.

_**"I don't know who that Antonio Machado is. I can't even pronounce his name."**_ I replied frowning. _**"Come on, just let's go somewhere and we can sit and talk and the shit you want. But just... Just let's go somewhere."**_

_**"Do you know what is totally awesome?"**_ She asked smiling.

_**"Have you even listened to me?"**_ I asked looking at her incredulous.

She didn't answer; she kept smiling cheerfully, looking all around the forest. Why the hell have I decided to go for a hike with her? Oh yeah right, because it was Freckles. I just sighed, resigned.

_**"What?"**_ I finally asked.

_**"That everything has its beauty, but not everyone can see it. Like this."**_ Freckles said smiling widely while looking all around, extending her arms as if she wanted to hug the panorama. I looked at her frowning. Was she crazy or something? _**"One of the nicest things in life is to see how the sun filters through the leaves."**_ She said with a cute smile.

Now I looked intently the landscape around me, noticing what Freckles said. Well yeah, actually it was very nice but I couldn't get why it seemed to be that beautiful for her as she expressed. I looked at Freckles again and she seemed to be really happy and it was cute to see the way she was smiling brightly.

_**"Does it really make you that happy? Do you really enjoy that much something very simple as that?"**_ I asked curious and frowning.

_**"Yeah, I think we must enjoy the little things in life because one day you will look back and realize they were the big things."**_ She replied with the same bright smile.

Well, what she said left me thinking. There was something very nice about what she said; something I could never appreciate before. I put aside all those big things that made me happy once and I focused on the little things that usually made me happy. There was much more than what I expected. I started thinking about my guitar and the feelings I had whenever I played it; thinking about whenever I had to perform something at drama class, thinking about the jokes and laughs shared with my friends, the smell of coffee, the loud music while listening to my favorite bands; the Saturday morning cartoons; singing in the shower; eating sushi, ice cream and fresh, organic food; the raindrops falling on my face after a hot day and the moment after the rain stops that everything smells clean, fresh, and revitalized; the feeling of sand between my toes; an extra half-hour of sleep cuddling in bed in the morning with my pillow and then a breakfast in bed; the random and nonsense conversations with Joey and a long phone conversation with Jen; the hug of my mom; the proud smile of my dad; the jokes of Chuck; the laughter and eyes of Freckles. Whoa! She was right, man. Why haven't I realized those little and happy things before? I was always so focused on the big things that I never realized those important things.

_**"Yeah, I think I got your point."**_ I said thoughtful after a long time I didn't speak. Freckles looked at me intrigued, still smiling. _**"Like I could also say that too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring... All of which have the potential to turn a life around."**_ I said still deep in thought. Then I looked at Freckles and she was smiling at me widely.

_**"That's exactly what I'm trying to say. It's wonderful the way you said it."**_ Freckles said in a sweet way and I smiled at her. Then she walked to me and kissed my cheek and it made me shiver.

_**"Yeah, and that action is one of those things I tried to say."**_ I said smiling as I held her hand. Man, suddenly I was feeling really happy for nothing, as if something had changed in me.

_**"I propose you something!"**_ She suddenly exclaimed excited.

_**"What?"**_ I asked while chuckling.

_**"Catch me!"**_ She exclaimed loudly and the she started running.

_**"Oh what?"**_ I asked frowning but amused.

She didn't answer me and she kept running, so I just started running behind her while laughing. She was really fast and elusive, I had no idea where she got so much energy as a kid; but she was running, hiding behind the trees, climbing trees and jumping everywhere. This was literally as if we were just two kids playing and fooling around, a very innocent but funny game. Oh man, I couldn't remember the last time I played as a kid and I couldn't understand why I stopped doing that in my life. It was so much fun. I finally saw a part of her arm hiding behind a tree; she was hiding. It was time to act strategically. I tried to mislead her by throwing a stone on the opposite direction to where she was and to where I was walking very silently. I was already behind the same tree she was hiding, so then I threw another stone away from us. She fell into the trap and moved from behind the tree so I quickly took her by her waist and pulled closer to me.

_**"Ha! I caught you! You, nippy chipmunk!"**_ I said laughing while still holding her. She started laughing out loud.

_**"You sneaky devil!"**_ She complained while still laughing. _**"You set me up! You cheater!"**_

_**"Didn't know there were rules. Deal with it! I'm the winner!"**_ I exclaimed loudly.

_**"Alright, you won!"**_ She said huffing but giggling. _**"Are you planning to let me out to keep walking or not?"**_

_**"What if I'm not planning it?"**_ I asked mischievously while I held her tighter.

_**"Then you'll have to raise me up and take me to somewhere like that. I dare you."**_ She said looking at me in a challenging way.

_**"Oh, you think I can't do that? Let me prove you wrong, girl."**_ I replied very amused as I raised her up in my arms.

_**"You won't last so much, Criss; so better if you give up, stubborn boy."**_ She said giggling as she wrapped her arms around my neck.

_**"You're underestimating me, darling. I was given the power of supreme strength!"**_ I exclaimed imitating a superhero's voice and Freckles burst out laughing.

_**"Oh my god! You're a dork!"**_ She said still guffawing.

_**"That I am!"**_ I exclaimed cheerfully and also laughing because her laughter was really boisterous and catchy.

It was easy to carry her in my arms because she was thinner than in high school; but anyway, it was tough to carry in the arms a human being in this forest, trying to dodge all kinds of obstacles. And she knew this, so she wouldn't stop smiling amused, expectant for that moment that I'd say that I couldn't carry her any longer. But definitely I was going to prove her wrong, I was going to show her that I could do this; and besides, this was an excuse to be close to her. After a while, my arms and legs were really aching and I was doing my best not to give up; until I saw the end of the forest near us. Oh yeah! I was going to get it. Suddenly I felt very peppy and energetic, so I started running to there as Freckles started laughing. And there we arrived, to a very outstanding place. It was a really cool beach with a lot of weird rock formations and the forest now behind us; I recognized it, it was the Chapel Lake. I looked at Freckles who was looking all around with eyes wide open and a huge smile. She noticed I was looking at her because she looked at me still with that smile, so then I smiled back.

_**"Welcome to Chapel Rock and Beach!"**_ I exclaimed excited while I left her.

_**"Oh my god, this place is amazing! Oh geez!" **_She exclaimed just as excited while she took off her shoes and socks.

_**"What are you doing?"**_ I asked amused, looking at her frowning.

_**"Are you kidding me? We're at a beach! You really need to take off your shoes and feel the sand in between your feet! It's a very pleasant feeling, I recommend it."**_ She said smiling radiantly.

_**"Okay..."**_ I said merry and I started taking off my shoes while I was looking delighted at Freckles who was lively running on the sand while giggling.

Oh man, it was awesome to see her so happy like that, so brisk and full of joy. She was fiddling and hopping, waving and somersaulting. Whoa! When did she learn to do that? Now I really wanted to join her, so I hurried and left my shoes over there to go running to her. I took her by her waist and I raised her to start going round and round. She laughed out loud along with me until I tangled with my legs and I fell and made her fall next to me. Geez, this was like playing with a child; I couldn't stop laughing and neither could she.

_**"Oh, man!"**_ I exclaimed loudly while still laughing boisterously, still laying in the sand next to her.

_**"We are covered in sand now!"**_ Freckles said still laughing.

_**"Enjoy it! You were the one who wanted to feel the sand in between your feet, now you can feel it in between your entire body!"**_ I said laughing softly, now looking at her who was just watching the sky and giggling.

_**"Not complaining. I love this!"**_ She exclaimed happily. Could she be really happy about this?

_**"Okay, I have this extremely huge doubt..."**_ I started saying while laying in the sand, looking at her. I finally caught her attention.

_**"What is that extremely huge doubt you have, Mr. exaggerated?"**_ She asked chuckling while looking at me.

_**"What is happiness for you?"**_ I asked and she looked at me amazed, raising her eyebrows and smiling.

_**"Well, I wasn't expecting that kind of question. But I like it."**_ She said smiling joyfully as she turned on her side to face me, propping her head up on her hand. _**"But you'll probably get bored of listening to me." **_

_**"Trust me, I won't. I just want to know, I'd really like it. And hey, I can be serious sometimes... I really don't get why you said I'll get bored."**_ I said frowning slightly as I also turned on my side to face her, propping my head up on my hand. She just giggled.

_**"Okay, I trust you, serious guy! All right... That's a hard question, because happiness itself cannot be defined, you know?"**_ She said thoughtful now, looking up while she was thinking. It was adorable. _**"If you ask me in what happiness consists; I'd answer that it consists in securities, intimacies, commonalities, hospitality, experiences, inspirations, ideas, fantasies, challenges, goals. And I assure you that the list is incomplete."**_

_**"So... Do you think that there is any kind of formula to be happy or something? I mean, yeah, I got that happiness is all you said, but those are just feelings and thoughts. Now talking about actions, how do you get it?"**_ I asked curious.

I really wanted to get to know her again: her thoughts, her feelings, her concerns, her dreams; everything. So I was glad she was open to talk to me about this. I just loved talking to her in the past, so surely I was going to love to talk to her again; just about random things. And now she was a mystery, what was making things even more interesting.

_**"Well... There's not exactly a formula, I guess. But yeah, I believe there's something..."**_ She said still thoughtful as I was listening to her very intently. _**"Seven short steps for happiness for me are: Think less, feel more. Frown less, smile more. Talk less, listen more. Judge less, accept more. Look less, do more. Complain less, appreciate more. Fear less, love more. That works for me; but I don't know if that would work for others."**_

_**"I like how it sounds; maybe that is what we all have to do... But..."**_ I started saying, now also very thoughtful. _**"Do you think that is all we need to be happy? I mean, that's it? No big things? No something that can happen that can turn your world into a happy one? Or maybe someone that can fix your crappy moments, making you see that we actually can be happy?"**_

_**"Oh well..." **_She said frowning and making a cute grimace with her mouth. _**"You see, I often see people who are miserable because they are waiting on something or someone to change their circumstances, like some giant external cause of happiness is going to come along one day and fix things. The truth is that rarely happens, if ever. You are in control of your own life and happiness, your own destiny. It's all up to you; that's the key."**_ She answered with a slight smile and I smiled back.

_**"Actually, that's so damn right."**_ I admitted while nodding. _**"I mean, why do we do it if we can be happy just with little silly things as you said before in the forest? We really don't need anybody to feel happy; of course others are an important part of our lives, but our happiness doesn't depend only on them. I wish everybody could see what you just said."**_ I said still thoughtful as she was looking at me fixedly. _**"But hang on, no. I don't get it. If we don't need anybody to give us that happiness we need... Then, for example, why do we feel really sad when someone is missing or is absent, thinking that only if we get them back we're gonna feel happy again? Like, we can be happy without the need of being with someone; but we can be really sad if someone is absent. It sounds unfair."**_ I said frowning, just thinking out loud. Then I looked at Freckles who was looking at me amused. _**"What?"**_

_**"Nothing... Just that I think it takes sadness to know happiness, noise to appreciate silence, and absence to value presence. How ironic, huh?"**_ She asked raising an eyebrow, still smiling amused.

_**"Yeah, very ironic, in fact."**_ I agreed nodding and frowning. _**"Haven't you ever wondered why life sucks sometimes? Why it has to be so damn hard and complicated? Why we, human beings, have to be so complicated?"**_ I asked still thinking about her response and I heard her giggle, so I looked at her curiously.

_**"Oh, Darren!"**_ She said still giggling and I couldn't get why she was giggling if that was serious question. _**"Life is beautiful, the problem is that many people confuse beautiful with easy."**_ She replied shrugging with a nice smile. _**"Nothing is easy, everything is hard and complicated; and there resides the beauty of life."**_

_**"How come?"**_ I asked really confused.

_**"Well, think about it for a moment..."**_ She said and I tried to do it, but I couldn't get her point. _**"You can't?" **_She asked and I shook my head, now feeling a little stupid. _**"Well, I won't tell you the answer, because that's only my point of view. But I'll help you to find out what I think that doesn't mean you have to think like me, you'll find out your own answer; let me ask you something for that..."**_ She said and I nodded. _**"You have a talent for music; you've been into music all your life, right?"**_ She asked and I nodded. _**"So now you're in a course studying some things about music that you already know, because you learned that years ago unlike some of your fellows; surely it happened to you, right?"**_ She asked and I nodded again. Yes, there were already a lot of things I knew. _**"So, when you had your first exam about all those things you already knew... You got a good score?" **_

_**"Yeah, a really good one."**_ I answered. I still couldn't get why she was asking me those things.

_**"Was it the best of the course?" **_

_**"Yeah..." **_I answered kind of uncomfortable.

_**"Did you feel happy when you got the best score of the course?"**_ She asked and I really felt uncomfortable. I didn't know why she was asking that.

_**"Of course I felt happy, duh. It was a great achievement."**_

_**"I thought so."**_ She said smiling. _**"Now, surely after that you kept learning things, but the difference was that you still didn't know those things. Am I wrong?" **_

_**"No, you're right. I learned a lot of new things." **_

_**"I see... Now everything wasn't as easy as before, right? Now you were pair up with your classmates, right?" **_

_**"Yes, that's right." **_

_**"And you had another exam about all of those things you learned for the first time, didn't you?" **_

_**"Yes, I did have one." **_

_**"And did you get a good score?" **_

_**"Yes, not as great as the first one; but yeah..." **_

_**"Right... And now tell me... Which one of the results of the two exams made you feel happier? The easy one that you were almost sure you were going to get a good score? Or the hard one that took you so much time and effort, and with that complications, to get a good score? With which one you felt more accomplished?"**_ She asked with an amused smile and I thought few seconds before answering.

_**"With the hard one... In that moment I thought: Hey man, I got it! I fucking got it!"**_ I said with a huge smile when I remembered that moment.

_**"Can you see what I'm trying to say now?"**_ She asked looking at me while smiling. _**"Life is like a hard exam. It's complicated, it's hard, it requires a lot of effort and dedication, it makes us feel like we try and try but it seems that is impossible to get what we want. Until eventually we get it and we feel extremely accomplished and happy; but always only after the storm we can see the sun. When things are easy, we feel happy; but that happiness is nothing compared to when we get to achieve those hard things. That is why I think that in the hard things resides the beauty of life."**_ She finally said smiling brightly.

_**"Whoa!"**_ I exclaimed looking at Freckles stunned. How come I couldn't see that point of view before? _**"How do you manage to make things seem so simple and obvious when actually they aren't? I mean, if I never heard this from you, surely I would have never realized this by myself." **_

_**"Oh, you surely would have got it. Actually, you realized it by yourself, when you answered that you felt happier with the score of your hard exam. I only helped you to say it out loud."**_ Freckles said shrugging and smiling kindly.

_**"No... You actually did everything. I mean, if it weren't for those questions you asked me..."**_

_**"You know?"**_ She interrupted me. _**"I didn't do anything. As I said, I only helped you to say it loud; because deep inside you, you already knew that the hardest things in our lives are the most pleasurable ones when after a lot of effort we get a positive result."**_

_**"Okay, I won't argue with you, because I'll end up losing. You were always the wiser one, I can't compete."**_ I said giggling softly.

_**"Hey, no! That's not right. I can know a lot about general culture because I spent my whole life studying to get more knowledge. But right now we're talking about life; and when it comes to life, no one can be right or wrong. We just think and feel in different ways, and that's the cool thing, to have different point of views. So I'm pretty sure we can have a dialogue and an interesting nonviolent debate. And I assure that we can learn from each other and we'll always learn new things. Life didn't come with resolute and factual formulas."**_ Freckles said smiling and I was just admiring her like a fool.

"_**Okay, I'll take it."**_ I said looking at her amused and still amazed.

She smiled and then she started sinking her finger on the sand, as playing with it, like drawing things on the sand, peacefully. I just observed her for a long time, admiringly and very intrigued to know more about her. She was smiling and she kept drawing with her fingers on the sand, so then I saw what she was drawing that kept her very entertained. Oh my wizard god! How the hell could she have done that drawing? I mean what? That was a really amazing drawing, in the fucking sand! It was a landscape with mountains and trees, with two kids holding hands while climbing a mountain. What was that? How the hell did she do it? She was very talented, but since when? I never knew she was good at drawing. I just observed, bewitched, how she was still drawing, until she finished and looked up to find me looking at the drawing very stunned. I only realized she was looking at me now because she chuckled.

"_**How did you do that?"**_ I asked puzzled, now looking at her agape.

"_**With my fingers, Darren."**_ She said laughing, mocking me.

"_**Oh really? I'd have never guessed it!"**_ I exclaimed sarcastically while laughing. _**"But I mean… It's like you've got magical fingers or something…" **_

"_**Maybe I'm magical, yeah. Maybe I'm an alien that is dressed up as a girl, but actually is infiltrating in between humans because wants to conquer the world! Maybe I'm a badass, a really perverse alien and maybe this isn't a drawing, maybe this is a secret map in my alien language of my destiny to find the powerful weapon that would allow me to conquer the world."**_ She said fluently, making an evil grimace while I was looking at her really amused, trying my best not to laugh. Oh dude, how could she have such imagination? I totally loved that.

"_**Oh, yeah right. And I bet those two kids aren't kids, that's you with your pet that is also dressed up as a boy and that is right here with us now! Hey! You evil alien pet, get out of wherever you are!"**_ I yelled at nowhere, pretending to be alarmed and Freckles chuckled softly.

"_**What if I tell you that you're my evil alien pet, huh?" **_She asked mischievously, raising an eyebrow and looking at me in an evilly way.

"_**I'd think… Hey, man, when and why did it happen to me?"**_ I replied pretending to be really disturbed and she laughed.

"_**You're totally a bad evil alien pet. You suck as that."**_ She said shaking her head and I looked at her pretending to be offended.

"_**Excuse me? I'm the best evil alien pet ever! Like, ever, man! Maybe you can't understand it because I've suddenly evolved into another more developed species. Maybe now I'm the king of the aliens and now you're under my command. You should respect me as I'm like your boss." **_I said pretending to be important, looking at her arrogantly in a jokingly way.

"_**Are you? I'm so sorry, my alien king. What can I do for you?"**_ She asked in a very submissive way, looking down as if she was showing respect and inferiority.

"_**You could start massaging my feet."**_ I said jokingly.

"_**Ugh, gross!"**_ She replied now with a disgusted face and frowning, but amused.

"_**Gross? Why would it be gross?"**_ I asked frowning.

"_**Sorry, but have you smelled your feet? You stink!"**_ She exclaimed while laughing. _**"Stinky Darren! Stinky, stinky, stinky!"**_ She made fun of me in a playful way and I couldn't help it laughing.

"_**That's not true at all!"**_ I said now leaning my head and pulling a foot closer to smell it while Freckles looked at me amazed and she burst out laughing. _**"My feet smell like pink."**_

"_**Yeah, pink like a novelty brand new cheese."**_ She answered nodding and raising an eyebrow.

"_**How funny!"**_ I exclaimed mockingly, sticking out my tongue.

"_**Oh my god!"**_ She exclaimed loudly, laughing out loud rowdily. _**"I can't believe you just did it! Oh gosh, you're a little kid, Darren! How old are you? Eight?"**_

"_**Six, to be precise."**_ I said giggling as she shook her head, still laughing. _**"Okay, going back to seriousness..."**_

_**"Oh, no!"**_ She complained as a kid, frowning and pouting and I looked at her fascinated. Man, I always loved when she pouted; she just looked so cute mixed with her sensuality. _**"What?"**_

_**"Nothing..."**_ I lied and I closed my mouth because I realized I was open-mouthed like a fool.

_**"Okay..."**_ She said looking at me raising eyebrows while snickering. _**"So, going back to seriousness... What were you going to say before I interrupted you? I'm sorry for that; I never realize that I'm a pain in the ass when I interrupt people. I shouldn't do that." **_

_**"It's okay, really. I tend to interrupt as well, everybody does sometimes." **_I said taking her apology. _**"Well, I was just wondering... I mean, the drawing and all that... Since when you can do such things?"**_

_**"Oh, last year I took a course in drawing and painting. It was really cool and it helped me to unwind whenever I was angry, nervous or stressed. I really love doing this kind of thing." **_She answered smiling slightly.

_**"Oh, I see. Well, you're really good at it." **_I admitted sincerely. _**"But what prompted you to take a course in drawing and painting?" **_

_**"I don't know, I wanted to try new things, I love doing new things. Everything that is new or uncommon raises a pleasure in the imagination, because it fills the soul with an agreeable surprise, gratifies its curiosity, and gives it an idea of which it was not before possessed. Okay, right to the point… To be honest, and don't laugh at me because of this, I always wanted to learn how to draw... Since I saw your drawings of Mickey on my first day of school in my Junior year."**_ She said laughing cheerfully, making fun of herself and I just looked at her surprised.

_**"Really?"**_ I asked laughing amused, still surprised. I couldn't believe it; I couldn't even believe that she remembered those drawings. _**"Those drawings sucked! I never could draw a worthy Mickey."**_

_**"Yeah, but I loved them anyway."**_ She replied shrugging. _**"However, I'm still not good at it, I need to keep improving. You see? There are a lot of failures on my drawings. For example, in this drawing over here, the remainder of the drawing that the wind couldn't blow, the perspective of the different objects and trees are wrong; so as the kids, the kids shouldn't be so tall because they're in a relatively far distance. The shadows of some tress are wrong, because the sun is supposed to be here, not there..."**_ She said pointing all the things she was saying.

_**"For me, that is fucking perfect, Freckles. It's just so good."**_ I admitted honestly again. I couldn't believe she was saying that the drawing had a lot of failures.

_**"Yeah, but it isn't."**_ She said sighing and then she blew the drawing and the entire drawing disappeared. I just looked at it perplexed with eyes wide open.

_**"How have you dared to do that? Are you fucking crazy? I loved that drawing and you just blew it!"**_ I exclaimed really thunderstruck and she giggled softly.

_**"The wind was going to blew it anyway. Someday I'll draw something for you in a paper if you want, but don't get mad!"**_ She said still giggling.

_**"Would you really draw something for me? Watch out, because I take your word!" **_I exclaimed looking at her amused and she shook her head, smiling gaily.

_**"Yes, I will. Maybe I could draw you a Mickey, you seem to be obsessed with Mickey."**_ She said jokingly.

_**"Yeah, kind of; I just love Disney, okay?" **_

_**"Not making fun of you. I love Disney as well."**_ She said shrugging, still smiling merrily.

_**"I want something for my room. I want to have a room like yours; I totally love your room. Could you do it for me?"**_ I asked, really hoping she could say yes.

_**"Yes, I'd like that. I just love decorating places. But you won't be allowed to complain if you don't like it." **_She said warningly.

_**"I'm sure I'll love it, whatever it comes to be."**_

_**"Okay, just let me to get better at it, and I'll draw something nice to you." **_She said smiling slightly.

_**"But you're already good, really good at it! I don't know why you say that." **_I said frowning.

_**"No, I'm not, really."**_ She said sighing, now drawing random circles on the sand. _**"I need to keep practicing; otherwise my professors will kick my ass." **_She said giggling faintly. She looked very placid and appeased. She was like inspiring me tranquility.

_**"How's that? I don't get it, why did you mention your professors? Are you taking a distance learning course?"**_ I asked curiously.

_**"No..."**_ She said laughing, looking at me amused. _**"That's what I'm studying here at University of Michigan." **_

_**"What? What are you exactly studying? I never had the chance to ask you that and I'm really curious. I mean, I'm pretty sure I saw you in my Costume Design course..."**_

_**"Did you?"**_ She interrupted me, now looking at me frowning and confused.

_**"Yeah well, by that time I wasn't sure it was you because by that time I still didn't know you were actually here. But then when I found out that you were here and you were Meredith's roommate, then yeah... I always suspected it was you the one who I saw that day. Are you in that course?"**_ I asked really intrigued.

_**"Yes, I am. Guess we're classmates."**_ She answered cheerfully.

_**"But, you see, I don't get it! You're in the same course than me, but you said you needed to keep practicing your drawings because that is what you're studying. And Costume Design is a course of Theater Performance and I can assure you that we don't have drawing courses."**_ I said still frowning in confusion and she laughed at it.

_**"Yeah, well, that's because I'm not studying Theater Performance. I'm studying Interarts Performance; so it's a program that involves visual arts and theater as well as it brings you the possibility to create original performance pieces. So yeah, it's a balanced combination of studio courses from the School of Art & Design and the Department of Theatre & Drama. That's why we share a course and that is why also I have to draw among other things."**_ She explained me quiet, still smiling slightly.

_**"That seems so cool! I didn't even know that program existed. So, you're gonna take courses that I took last year. You know; if someday you need any kind of help, just let me know. I'd be glad to feel useful."**_ I said kindly, smiling at her.

_**"Thank you, Darren. Maybe someday I'll need any kind of help, who knows?"**_ She replied.

_**"Yeah... Anyway, I find it weird that you're studying that. I mean, I always thought you were going to consider a career as a politician. I mean, I've always been amazed by your logic and intelligence."**_ I admitted, looking at her intrigued. She was a real mystery now. _**"So, why have you decided to study something like this?" **_

_**"Well, you know? Over time, I learned that logic will get you from A to B. Instead, imagination will take you everywhere. To imagine is everything, to know is nothing at all. And I want to find all those hidden and recondite places, and what better to test the imagination with art?"**_ She answered smiling widely. _**"You see? Even if I'm not good enough, I'm enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. My imagination can picture no fairer happiness than to continue living for art." **_

_**"Yeah, I understand... But why imagination? I mean, yeah, I understood what you said that imagination can take you everywhere... But why do you think now that imagination is more important than knowledge? Well, at least that is what I think you tried to say." **_I said still a bit confused and very intrigued.

_**"Yes, that is exactly what I tried to say. So, why do I think that imagination is more important than knowledge? Well, because imagination is everything, it's the preview of life's coming attractions. Einstein said that, Einstein! If Einstein said that, then I think that the true sign of intelligence is not knowledge but imagination. Like, yeah, imagination rules the world!"**_ She exclaimed excited and happily and I smiled at her. _**"You know? I like to think that I'm pure imagination; that I can see what the eyes cannot see, I can hear what the ears cannot hear, and I can feel what the heart cannot feel. I mean, yeah, I believe in the imagination. What I cannot see is infinitely more important than what I can see and after all, you need imagination in order to imagine a future that doesn't exist. The power of imagination makes us infinite. And also going back to the topic of happiness; I do think that happiness is not an ideal of reason, but of imagination; happiness it's the work of the imagination."**_ She said dreamily and I looked at her bewitched. I loved her way of thinking, the way she said all of those things. It was just so catchy, like she inspired something now... something new and pleasant. _**"So yeah, that is why I think imagination is way more important than knowledge. That is why I'm studying something that allows me to unleash my imagination. Art and theatre are perfect for that; and it makes me really happy."**_ She said smiling brightly and I smiled back at her. I was speechless admiring her.

_**"Everything you said is simply wonderful and so inspiring, you know?"**_ I said smiling warmly at her. _**"When I think about it, I can notice that you've changed a lot. You definitely aren't the girl you used to be; I'm not saying that this is something good or bad; I'm just saying that you're different now. What led you to change the way you are?"**_ I asked curiously and she looked down. Maybe that was an uncomfortable question for her, so I tried to fix it somehow. _**"You don't have to answer that, I was just curious because you seem to be very confident now and yeah..."**_

_**"No, it's okay."**_ She answered in a whisper and then she looked up to me. _**"I think that I'm different now because before I was always looking outside myself for strength and confidence, but then I realized it comes from within. It was there all the time, but I couldn't see it."**_ She answered and I looked at her intently, expecting to keep hearing her answer, but she didn't say anything more, so I dared to insist. _**"I just began to love myself." **_

_**"That's it?"**_ I asked trying to figure out if there was something else.

_**"Yes, that is it all."**_ Freckles answered shrugging and smiling faintly.

I just frowned and looked down. Maybe she didn't want to tell me and it was fine, but I really wanted to know. I was very curious and I wanted to understand; I wanted to understand this new Freckles as I used to understand the old Freckles. She noticed I was thoughtful or something, because she placed her hand on my chin and lifted it so I could look into her eyes. She was smiling kindly.

_**"Maybe you can't see that when you began to love yourself it changes everything. Then you wonder why something as simple as that can bring so many different things that has the power to turn a life."**_ She said softly and kindly. Her voice and her bright eyes had something that was making me feel really relaxed and serene, it was odd. _**"I learned how to love myself, and as I began to love myself I found that anguish and emotional suffering are only warning signs that I was living against my own truth. Today, I know, this is authenticity."**_ She started explaining and I looked fixedly into her eyes. She was opening herself to tell me something that maybe was very private. _**"As I began to love myself I understood how much it can offend somebody as I try to force my desires on this person, even though I knew the time wasn't right and the person wasn't ready for it, and even though this person was me. Today I call it respect. As I began to love myself I stopped craving for a different life, and I could see that everything that surrounded me was inviting me to grow. I call it maturity. As I began to love myself I understood that at any circumstance, I'm in the right place at the right time, and everything happens at the exactly right moment; so I could be calm. Today I know that is self-confidence."**_ She said still smiling kindly and looking at me with those big bright eyes.

I was just listening to all she was saying, very amazed. It was something kind of nice to hear. For a moment, I thought she finished saying all she wanted to say because there was a long silence in which we only stared into each other's eyes. But I was wrong, she kept talking.

_**"As I began to love myself I quit stealing my own time, and I stopped designing huge projects for the future. Today, I only do what brings me joy and happiness, things I love to do and that make my heart cheer, and I do them in my own way and in my own rhythm. Today I call it simplicity. As I began to love myself I freed myself of anything that is no good for my health, like food, people, things, situations, and everything that drew me down and away from myself. At first I called this attitude a healthy egoism. Today I know it's love of oneself."**_ She said with a really sweet voice as I smiled warmly at her. I, instinctively, held her hands. I don't know why I did it, it just felt right and she let me do so. _**"As I began to love myself I quit trying to always be right, and ever since I was wrong less of the time. Today I discovered that is modesty. As I began to love myself I refused to go on living in the past and worry about the future. Now, I only live for the moment, where everything is happening. Today I live each day, day by day, and I call it fulfillment. As I began to love myself I recognized that my mind can disturb me and it can make me sick. But as I connected it to my heart, my mind became a valuable ally. Today I call this connection wisdom of the heart." **_She said softly as we kept holding hands and looking into each other's eyes. This situation was one of the weirdest ones I've ever had, weird but magical. There was something about what she was saying that was very moving. _**"We no longer need to fear arguments, confrontations or any kind of problems with ourselves or others. Even stars collide, and out of their crashing new worlds are born. Today I know that is life."**_ She said smiling sweetly and shrugging, with very bright and dreamy eyes.

_**"That was wonderful. I'm speechless and you know? I'm never speechless; so you can picture how much what you said affected me for good."**_ I said in all honesty, looking deeply into her eyes. _**"It's extraordinary all the things you learned. Now I get why you're this kind of totally awesome person."**_ I whispered without even thinking.

_**"Kind of totally awesome person?"**_ She asked giggling and I just smiled brightly at her.

_**"Yes, that."**_ I said. Fortunately she didn't take it in a bad way. _**"Can I ask you something?"**_

_**"You just did... But yeah, shoot."**_ She said amused and I shook my head while chuckling softly.

_**"I have... I have a doubt."**_ I said trying to find the proper way to ask her what I wanted to know. I was going to bring back the conversation we had last night. _**"When we were apart..."**_ I started saying gingerly and she frowned slightly, but I wasn't going to regret at this point. _**"How have you overcome it? I mean, you still didn't know how things were and all this time you've been thinking that I used you as a toy, undervaluing you as a person. And maybe you still think it was like that, but that isn't the point."**_ I said quickly while she was looking at me serious now. _**"I already know all the things you've done to be busy and not to think about me; but talking about feelings and emotions… How have you overcome it?"**_ I finally asked and she looked down and remained silent for a long time. Maybe I screwed it. But she spoke.

_**"Well, with a selective memory to remember the good, prudent logic to not ruin the present and defiant optimism to face the future."**_ She answered shrugging, still looking down. It had sense, but I knew there was something else; so I remained looking at her in silence. She noticed and looked up to me, and then she sighed. _**"I understood that no matter how hard your past was, you can always start over. So then there comes a time in your life, when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh. Forget the bad, and focus on the good. Love the people who treat you right, pray for the ones who don't. Life is too short to be anything but happy. I understood that falling down is a part of life, getting back up is living."**_ She said and I looked deeply into her eyes, then I looked down.

Yes, there was something beautiful of what she said, but there was also something that made me feel a little bad. Maybe for her I was one of those people that brought her drama and bad; maybe I wasn't one of those people that could make her laugh and treated her right. Could she think that of me? Then I looked at her again, this time trying to do my best to not think about that, but apparently I couldn't because she looked at me sadly.

_**"See? I knew I shouldn't have said that..."**_ She said now looking away.

_**"No, it's fine and I'm glad you did. We're just talking honestly; it could have been worse, you know? It's fine, really."**_ I said shortly because I didn't want to ruin the good moment we were spending minutes ago. She looked at me again and then sighed.

_**"Listen, Darren..."**_ She started saying softly and I was just silently looking at her. _**"I've forgiven mistakes that were indeed almost unforgivable. I've tried to replace people who were irreplaceable and tried to forget those who were unforgettable. I've been disappointed by people when I thought that this could never be possible, and I have also disappointed some people."**_ She said looking deeply into my eyes with a hint of sadness. I knew she was talking about me, about us. I tried my best to keep looking into her eyes without feeling anguished. _**"I've loved and I've been loved, but I have also been rejected. I've smiled even when I couldn't."**_ She said now with cracked voice and teary eyes; but not shedding tears, though. In that moment, the lump on my throat appeared and it was really painful. Again, I tried my best to not do something stupid that was crying. _**"I've made friends for life. I've cried while listening to music and looking at old pictures. I've called someone just to hear their voice on the other side. At times, I thought I would die of sadness. At other times, I felt very afraid that I might lose someone very special, which ended up happening anyway."**_ She said now looking down and biting her lower lip. Could I be that special someone? Man, this was very touching, I was feeling touchy. Then she looked up to me with the same teary eyes and she smiled faintly. _**"But I survived. And I'm still alive. The best thing in life is to go ahead with all your plans and your dreams, to embrace life and to live every day with passion, to lose and still keep the faith and to win while being grateful. All of this because the world belongs to those who dare to go after what they want. And because life is really too short to be insignificant. That is how I overcome it, Darren; that is how."**_ She said in a whisper, still with that faint smile but now looking down.

_**"Yeah... Thank you."**_ I said now looking at her with a faint smile, still feeling bad but also feeling a bit glad. _**"Thanks for opening your heart with me and telling me the truth of how you felt and all."**_ I said again with the same smile. She only nodded.

_**"And how did you do it?"**_ She suddenly asked and I looked at her stunned. I wasn't expecting this question and I never thought about it before. I remained looking very deeply into her eyes.

_**"I never could."**_ I answered while still looking at her. That was the most honest thing I've ever said. Maybe I shouldn't have said that, but she was honest to me, so I had to.

So then the uncomfortable silence that I didn't want to happen came. My intentions with that question weren't to be like this now, but it happened. Now the two of us were just watching the sky, in silence. And we weren't holding hands anymore. Maybe I really screwed it and I wasn't ready to hear that response. Or maybe I just needed to hear it so finally I could understand that she and I were just... a distorted kind of friends. That's it. Why was it too hard for me to forget her and all we had? Maybe I shouldn't forget, maybe I should just let it go just as she did. Damn, I promised to start over again with her; so why was I thinking that? Anyway, why was I thinking about all these things? Why couldn't I just stop thinking at least for a second? Shit.

_**"You know what?"**_ Suddenly Freckles said and I startled.

_**"What?"**_ I asked now looking at her. She sat and faced me while I just remained laying on the sand.

_**"I do think that neither love nor genuine encounters, not even the really failed encounters, are the work of chance, but those are mysteriously reserved to us."**_ She started saying and I just looked at her like 'what the fuck?' I really had no idea what she was talking about and I didn't understand a damn shit of what she said. _**"How many times in life I was surprised by how, among the crowds of people in the world, those we met, somehow, had the tables of our destiny, as if we belonged to the same secret organization, or chapters of a book!"**_ She exclaimed kind of excited and I still couldn't understand what she was saying. Did this even have sense? Was she saying something serious like a thought or was she joking? _**"I never knew if they are recognized because we were already looking for them, or if we look for them because they already lined the outskirts of our destination."**_ She said with a gently smile. I just remained looking at her in confusion, raising an eyebrow. What was that about? _**"What I'm trying to say... Maybe our encounter wasn't accidental; maybe we were looking for each other without knowing and then we encountered; or maybe we were simply destined to encounter again. Maybe we still have unfinished business, maybe we just needed to be reunited again because of something, maybe we have a purpose in life together. Haven't you thought about it?"**_

_**"No, not really."**_ I replied frankly when I got what she tried to say. When she heard my response she just nodded and looked down. Maybe she said it to cheer me up or something and I was screwing it. _**"But I'd like to think it was something like that."**_ I said smiling softly and she looked at me again with a smile. _**"Maybe we weren't meant to be separated, so destiny or whatever reunited us."**_ I added and she nodded, thoughtful. That was an insinuation, but she didn't get it.

Anyway, why was I doing that? I didn't believe in that shit of destiny or whatever as she said. Actually, I had no idea why I said that I'd like it to be like that. No, I wanted everything to be different. Yeah, she was different and there were cool things in her new personality; but also there were things that maybe I didn't like too much; exactly like this thing of destiny. Why would she associate everything to fate? It was just a coincidence that I encountered her again, it was a coincidence that she was Meredith's roommate; that wasn't fate or destiny or any of that shit. And it wasn't destiny nor coincidence that I've been searching for her a damn whole year to explain her what truly happened to see if finally we could be together again as I was wishing with all my being; to explain her something that she didn't even believe. And fuck! What was wrong with me? Why was I being so pessimistic all of a sudden? See? That wasn't me; she was making me feel in a way I didn't want to feel, in a way that I hated to feel. But also I needed to admit that she was making me feel completely happy and yeah... Everything was messy, unclear, and irresolute. I couldn't even tell if encountering her again was a good or a bad thing. Probably it was a really good thing, but also probably it was something that shouldn't have happened because nothing was as it used to be. Damn, I didn't even know how to act when she was around. But geez, she was Freckles; I wanted her to be around. Like what? Was I beginning to be bipolar? I really needed to think what I really wanted.

_**"You seem to be very thoughtful, Darren." **_She said with a sweet voice and that made my heart skip a beat. Sometimes I wished she didn't have that sweet voice that could make me feel so meek; sometimes I hated the sound of her voice, but I loved it.

_**"Yeah, I am..." **_I answered in a whisper and then I looked at her. I shouldn't have done that. She was smiling lovingly, and her smile was always my weak spot.

_**"What are you thinking? I've already talked a lot about myself; I'd like to know more things about you, Dare."**_ She said sweetly, still smiling.

My heart, over again, skipped a beat when I heard her calling me 'Dare' as the old times. And besides, she was interested on knowing things about me. Man, I was feeling very mild; she made me feel tranquil again, just with the sound of her voice and her smile.

_**"Nothing, just silly things."**_ I answered smiling yearningly at her. Why? Why was I smiling at her like that? Dammit, Darren! Just one second, only one second, try to not make a fool of yourself.

_**"Okay, I understand if you don't feel like sharing your things."**_ She said friendly.

_**"No, that's not... Freckles, that's not the reason. Trust me; I was really thinking about silly things."**_ I said shortly. I didn't want her to misunderstand me, even though she was a bit right.

_**"Alright, I trust you."**_ She smiled slightly.

_**"Freckles?"**_ I asked a bit thoughtful; thinking about the uncomfortable situation we just went through.

_**"Yeah?" **_

_**"We're fine, aren't we?"**_ I asked gingerly looking at her.

_**"Of course we're fine. Why wouldn't we?"**_ She asked frowning in confusion, but with a faint smile.

_**"I don't know, I was just wondering."**_ I replied shrugging.

_**"And I think you overthink things. Just because we talked about something a bit uncomfortable minutes ago and we remained like fifteen minutes without talking and without looking at each other, doesn't mean that we aren't fine. It was something that needed to be said and we're good now."**_ Freckles said with an amused smile and I looked at her bewildered.

_**"How did... How did you even know I was thinking about that?"**_ I asked still bewildered. There was no way she could have figured it out.

_**"I'm a girl. Girls have a very powerful weapon that is called female intuition. It's amazing."**_ She said nodding and raising an eyebrow as I just laughed. _**"But the truth is that girls are the ones who usually overthink things, we're kind of paranoid sometimes because we think about all the options and chances that can exist; so we can figure out really quickly when a guy is thinking about certain things, and more after a moment like the one we recently had; we know, we know. And obviously I shouldn't be telling this because it's a woman secret. Now all the girls in the planet are gonna kill me, so be thankful and honored that I revealed you that secret."**_ She said amused and I laughed out loud.

_**"I'm so honored. Now I feel as if I were also a girl."**_ I answered jokingly.

_**"Oh no, trust me. You still have much to learn in order to think and feel like a girl."**_ She corrected me, raising an eyebrow and still looking at me amused.

_**"Yeah, I really think that if men decided to write a book about what men know about women; that would be a really short book, because it'll have pure unwritten pages."**_ I said jokingly.

_**"Damn right. Like, men will never understand periods and women will never understand boners. That's a fact."**_ She said laughing and nodding and I laughed even louder.

_**"Oh my wizard god, you're totally awesome."**_ I exclaimed while still laughing boisterously.

_**"Oh my wizard god? Hey, I love that expression too. Your singular and creative vocabulary amazes me."**_ She said admiringly.

_**"What can I say? I guess I'm a Harry Potter freak and I relate everything to that."**_ I answered amused.

_**"Do you love Harry Potter? Oh boy! We totally need to watch a marathon of Harry Potter movies! Have you read the books?"**_ She asked very excited. Oh man, she also loved Harry Potter, that was so freaking amazing.

_**"Of course I did! That shouldn't even be a question!"**_ I exclaimed just as excited.

_**"Oh my god, I love you." **_She exclaimed still amazed and excited. But when I heard that, I couldn't help it but feeling really stunned. Like my heart started beating really fast when I heard those words directed to me from her mouth.

_**"I love you too."**_ I said, now pretending I was just saying that because of this Harry Potter issue as she did.

Truth was that I really meant that 'I love you'. Even if she wasn't the same; the feeling was still there no matter how hard I tried to deny it or convince myself that I didn't like this new Freckles. Damn, what was she doing to me?


	38. Swim, run and hide

A/N: Early update, yay! I just came back from my drama class and I thought about updating earlier because I want to go to sleep earlier today because I'm exhausted! So, here's a new chapter! What do I have to say? Let's see... In general, I'm so happy that you liked the last chapter. It's was cute and sweet, wasn't it? It was different than the other chapters full of angst, right? Well, enjoy those sweet chapters before the drama returns! I think that by this time you know how I am, I can't survive without writing drama! But this new chapter is maybe also a bit sweet. So enjoy those as long as you can because I'll be cruel soon! Just kidding, or not. Other thing, I like the fact some of you told me where are you from! It's amazing to know you all are from different places! And one last thing… Have you heard about Darren's new solo album? Who is excited as much as I am? Ah! It's totally awesome; I can't wait to get it! I'm really too excited and too eager to get it! I can't wait! Okay now, ladies and gentleman, unicorns and dragons, I'll start replying your reviews!

alicegursk: My dear wife named Alice, I'm really happy that you enjoyed a little bit of sweetness and cuteness, full of sappy things. I think I was kind of sentimental when I wrote that chapter, I don't know what inspired me to write those things, but I liked it; we needed a little bit of romance and mellowness. I loved the comparison you made with the cupcakes... Mmm, cupcakes! (Add Homer Simpson's voice right here). They shouldn't be cupcakes or I'll eat them! And I don't wanna kill them. Yes, Argentina! You should come sometime and I'll be your tour guide! But you'll have to stand me talking all the time about everything, telling you about architecture and taking pictures like a madwoman. Whenever I travel with my friends, they tell me I'm kind of annoying and that I should stop talking and taking pictures; I don't know why. But whatever! I wonder why I always end up rambling. Yes, it's warm here! But it's unbearable! Really, it's too hot! Okay, -4? I think I couldn't survive at it! But at least you have snow! I love snow! You can make snowmen, you can sledding, play a snowball war, and a lot of more things! I don't have snow here, maybe for that I say I love snow! haha.

MeMi83: I always wanted to write a chapter with deep thoughts and all; and I wanted to show how much the characters in the story have changed. They are different and not only in a physical way, also emotionally and personally. I think that they have grown up and now they're starting to find themselves, as any other person in college does; because I consider college is the stage in which we start wondering about several things in life and we start discovering ourselves, we start consolidating our thoughts and ideals. Well, at least it happened to me and I thought this was normal. Yet, it's a stage of discovery and introspection, nothing is factual and ultimate; they're still trying and experiencing new things as some trial and error. I hope this didn't confuse you, my mind is kind of volatile and messy. And oh! I totally forgot to wish you happy Easter holidays! I was so distracted that day that I forgot! I'm so sorry! I hope you had a really good one and you ate a lot of Easter chocolate eggs! I did! Chocolate is my temptation! Now I wish you have a very lovely week full of hugs! (hugs are like the best thing ever!)

Guest 1: Were you really listening to a playlist of Ludovico Einaudi? He's a genius! I think he's my favorite one, Yiruma is other pianist I really like. Ah! What can I say? I really enjoy that music as you! Actually when I write I tend to listen to this kind of music, especially when I'm about to write something cute or sad; music inspires me. I always wanted to learn to play piano, but I never had the chance and I think I'd suck at it, I'm not good with those things and the funny thing is that in my family, they all are musicians and singers; I'm like the black sheep of the family. Yes, we both are girls so I get it that we tend to overthink everything, I agree with Freckles on that! haha. Though, I'm really glad that the chapter left you thinking, it's really nice to think about those things sometimes; I think that sometimes we think about a lot of things but not about what happiness or life means to us, and it's nice when you take the time for yourself to be alone and think about it. And it's even greater when you share your thoughts with other people, because you can learn other things and other point of views. I don't know, I like doing this kind of stuff. I was afraid you could get bored with that chapter full of deep thoughts, maybe different than the others which had more action than thoughts; so I'm really happy you liked it. Are you from Austria? Oh my god! You definitely live in a wonderful country! Did you know that for me Austria is one of the most beautiful countries because of its architecture and landscapes? I'd really like to go there someday! Have you been in Mexico and Belize? I've never been there, but those are beautiful places! The beaches of Central America are amazing! Now, the South is not so great, but here in Argentina we have nice landscapes, from deserts and plains to jungles, mountains, falls and lakes and glaciers; and people are nice. But if you're looking for outstanding architecture, maybe it's not the best place, unless you're interested on Inca civilization, then you can go to Peru! Okay, I'm rambling and I should stop, I know!

Mockingjay-Potterhead-9: Are you on the Alps? What an outstanding place! I guess you may be skiing! Seriously, it's a beautiful place and I love landscapes, so it might be like a dream being there! The internet connection might be bad, but at least you have a lot to enjoy there! I'll never be a fanfiction god, I'm actually a slow writer! So you know my little secret already! Your friend wants to study architecture? Tell her that it's a wonderful career and it's really amazing, but she'll have to suffer sleepless nights! haha. But it's worth it. I love dragons, the kind of nice ones, the baby ones! Do you have a unicorn? I have one too! But mine is male and it's called Sparkles, because his horn is sparkly! He's little and fluffy! A friend gave it to me because she knows that I love unicorns! So, maybe it'll be better if you don't have the dragon, you already have a unicorn and that's great! I'm not some wise god! Not at all, I just spend a lot of time alone thinking and thinking about life and all, and I come up with some conclusions. Those are few of them, it took me years to come with those conclusions and sometimes I change my mind and think about other options. Reading a lot helped me to come up with my own conclusions. Books are like something very treasured for me because they taught me a lot of things and made me see and realize things that before I couldn't. So books by different authors were my inspiration. Anyway, there's something I wrote in the chapter that isn't mine, and it's the text that talks about when I began to love myself. That's a poem written by Charles Chaplin. I loved it so much that I had to write it down in this story and share it with you all. It's very inspirational and helped me too see and understand a lot of things, so maybe it could help you too; that's why I put it in this story. And it's so amazing to know you wrote down some of the things of this chapter to post it all around your room! It just makes me happy that you liked those thoughts and it didn't bore you to read them!

vicky: I'm super happy to know that you liked the chapter and didn't bore you! That was my biggest fear, that writing a chapter with so many thoughts and so little action could bore you. I'm really glad that it helped you to see things that probably you wouldn't have seen or understand before. That's like a huge accomplishment to me! I enjoyed writing about these points of view about something so simple and complicated (sounds ironic!) that is life and happiness. Those were one of my most secret thoughts but I liked sharing them with you; it's the first time I share it. Yes, they both are different and I found it interesting that they have to start knowing each other again, now talking about deeper things and share secrets and thoughts. It's like a very profound way to know someone and it's probably one of the greatest ways to know more about the other, when you can talk about everything without feeling uncomfortable. Sometimes talking about this stuff is a better way to be closer to someone. I don't know, it's weird and I don't wanna bore you with my silly thoughts! If I believe in destiny? Ah! What a hard question! (By the way, I love when you ask me things). Let's start with the Socratic philosophy: I only know that I know nothing. Yes, truth is that I don't know. Yes, I thought about destiny several times, but I could never come with a solid conclusion, because for starters and as I see it, destiny could never be defined as certain or factual, because it's about the unknown, about what is further than what human beings can see or feel, unlike happiness or life itself. Destiny would be more like religion; you either believe it or not; it's a matter of belief and faith. Maybe the closest approximation is that I don't believe in destiny. Let's see why, with a very simple and daily example: I've noticed that even people, who claim everything is predestined, and we cannot do anything to change it, look before crossing the street. Can you see it? I think that the only way we can say destiny does exist is if we consider that our thoughts, words, actions and habits are our destiny; if we consider destiny as what we, human beings, do from our unconscious. And if destiny does exist, I think the important thing is not what destiny makes of us but what we make of it. If destiny does exist, I think it's not what we live what forges our destiny, but what we feel for what we experienced. And any destination, as long and complicated as it can be, actually consists of a single moment: the moment when the man finds out who he/she is, forever. Summing up, if destiny exists, as I see it, it's not something that we cannot change, something that was written for us, something that no matter what we do it's gonna be like that forever because destiny said so. No, we're human beings, we have feelings, we have the ability to think and reason, the ability to decide which people we want to surround or not, the ability to make our own decisions based on our reason and heart. We're not robots, we're not puppets. And yes, maybe we wonder why we met certain people in our lives and why not other people; and it's gonna be a mystery; maybe it was coincidence or maybe in our unconscious we wanted to meet that certain person because somehow our brain related that person with something good or something already familiar; I don't know. I only believe that we are the destiny we choose to be. Sorry for the long explanation; I love talking about this kind of stuff and I always get too excited, so then I tend to ramble. But remember, that's only my point of view and I respect anyone who thinks differently than me. Even, I'd really like to know other points of view.

Vcriss: Yes, I do understand you and I don't think you're judging him. It's only that you like him and when we like someone we feel frustrated because we, somehow, know that anything would ever happen between you both because you have different sexual orientation. I understand you because my sister once fell in love with a gay guy and she suffered it, and she supports gay people 100 percent. She just felt bad because she was in love and the guy would never be with her. So yeah, I think I got your point of view somehow. And I never thought you were judging him; anything of what you wrote made me think so. And thanks for saying it was a good chapter, I hope I can keep being inspired and creative, lately it's been so hard!

Guest 2: Geez! Thank you a lot for saying that I'm a good writer! It means a lot to me and it makes me feel really happy that you enjoy this story and that you read it with enthusiasm. It's really hard to write interesting chapters ad most of the time I think that what I write sometimes is boring; so when you said that I have you hooked, it's like a great accomplishment and compliment. So your friends decided to read this because you wouldn't stop talking about this story? Wow, that's super weird to me, but thank you! Really, thank you so much! About the 'Adorkable' thing... I wrote about it already, but you must know that I'm currently writing chapter 55, so maybe you'll have to wait; but you'll get it for sure! I love that word too! It's very cute!

caarolineboeira1: Yes, I like those moments when they're alone and they act in a cute and sweet way. But... Are they gonna be cute and sweet when they are around other people? Ah! Let's see what happens. For now, all the sweets moments are when they're alone. And things will happen, some good and some bad things; you know that after all drama is inside me. And maybe this is still a cute chapter; maybe not as much as the last one, but it has its cuteness. Okay, I won't bug you anymore and I'll stop rambling, I really don't wanna spoil you anything!

Nicole: You are from southern California? I always wanted to go to California, so much that once I wanted to work as Au-Pair only to go to California; but I decided to study architecture instead. Oh! Enjoy nature is one of the most fabulous things ever to do! I love nature and I love when I travel to some place in which I can see breathtaking landscapes; and since I love photography, landscapes are really attractive to me. It just brings me peace and joy, something weird. Sometimes we just need to undertake a journey into nature, away from the stress of the city life. And Arizona seems like a really beautiful place to do it! I did have a nice Easter, I also went to another place, away from my city, rounded by mountains and rivers! I hope you had one nice too! I'm really glad you enjoyed the last chapter! Before posting it I was afraid it could be a little boring; because nothing really special happened in terms to actions; it was just a lot of talk, sharing thoughts. Well, sometimes I'm cute, see? haha. This chapter maybe it's gonna be nice too; but you know I need drama, so I don't know how much this is gonna last! haha.

SamCollinsHolmes: You made it in time before I posted this new chapter! Don't worry, my Sherlock! It's okay if you couldn't write before, you just said a bunch of shit when you mentioned you're an asshole who deserve hate. Bullshit. That's the only word that can explain what you felt. I undertand that you had a rough week, it happens; it happens to me all the time so I understand it. Exams? Those are a pain in the ass. But I hope it was because of exams and things like those and not for something too serious. Are you the heartless Grinch? I am the Grinch! haha I always joke about it with my sister; she calls me Grinch, devil and things like those. What can I say? I was feeling very sentimental and cheesy when I wrote that chapter! And that's weird, maybe. But my sister calls me devil and I need to respond to that name; so, sadly, I'll be wicked, mean and cruel. The drama is gonna come soon. I can't help it. I can't say they'll be together again. Maybe someday they will; but till that moment a lot, like really a lot of things will happen. Some good things, some bad things and some confusing things. There will be other people involved. And don't worry about Mia, I already have what kind of story Darren and Mia will have; it's all in my mind, but if I can tell you something it's that Mia is not gonna be a big trouble. Even if I love drama, she won't be a trouble because the story is not gonna be focused on her. But I did like the idea of the ninja turtle! haha. I haven't heard it! Truth is that I couldn't be online this week because I'm like super busy! But oh god. Thanks god it was a fake rumor! And I did hear about his solo album! I'm super excited about it! It just makes me feel really happy and I hope I can buy it! Now lots of love for you, my dear Sherlock! I'll soon go over there so we can eat those redvines and go to Mars! Pigfarts, Pigfarts, here we come! Pigfarts, Pigfarts, yum yum yum!

Okay now, lovely people, I'll let you read this new chapter. I hope you can really enjoy it! Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy before the drama returns! I wish you all a weekend and week full of… Veggies! Just kidding, no one wants veggies. A week full of burrito and tacos! And also full of popsicles and bear hugs! Until next week, starhip rangers!

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**Teenage Dream – Chapter 38 – Swim, run and hide.**

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_**"It is so quiet here, I like this place."**_ Freckles said smiling gaily.

She was lying on the sand, just sunbathing and singing very softly while I was just sitting, doing random drawings on the sand with a branch. It seemed that our roles were exchanged. I should be the one singing and she should be the one drawing. However, we were still at Chapel Rock and Beach and we've been there for hours; just talking about random things as if we were lifetime friends. In certain way we were. I really enjoyed being with her.

_**"Yes, I like it here too."**_ I answered while I was trying to draw on the sand a dog in a cloud.

_**"What are you doing?"**_ She suddenly asked, now sitting.

_**"Nothing, just drawing some shit." **_I answered quiet, shrugging.

_**"You curse a lot, I noticed."**_ She commented and I laughed.

_**"You got that right."**_ I admitted still laughing. _**"I can't help it."**_

_**"Yes, I don't mind."**_ She said shrugging and then she stood up and walked to me and kneeled next to me. _**"Is that a bear?"**_ She asked looking at my drawing.

_**"Of course not. That's a dog, it's pretty clear that is a dog."**_ I replied frowning, also looking at my drawing.

_**"Sorry, but that really looks like a bear." **_

_**"Bullshit. It's a dog. Look... it's a big dog."**_

_**"Since when dogs have those ears, Darren? That's a bear!" **_

_**"Only because you're a fucking genius when it comes to drawing, doesn't mean that you're allowed to criticize my totally awesome dog."**_ I said amused and she giggled.

_**"Okay, okay, I'll leave you in peace with your dog that is attempting to turn into a bear."**_ She mocked me and I nudged her playfully.

_**"Oh, you nudged me! You won't be safe now!"**_ She exclaimed loudly and I was about to answer her something, but she was faster and she tackled me and started tickling me.

_**"Oh no, fuck! Stop it, stop it!" **_I tried to say while laughing uncontrollably. I was the one supposed to tickle her, not her.

But she kept tickling me until my stomach growled loud. That was when Freckles stopped and looked at me, frowning. I was lying on the sand and she was on top of me, but then she moved and kneeled next to me, still looking at me kind of concerned.

_**"What was that?"**_ She asked.

_**"That's the consequence of not having eaten anything at all for hours. It's already afternoon and I haven't eaten anything at all since last night, and we ate only marshmallows. So yeah, I told you I was starving this morning."**_ I said, still lying on the sand, looking at her.

_**"And why didn't you come back to the camp, then?"**_ She asked curious, still frowning.

_**"Well, I wanted to be here."**_ I replied shrugging, now placing my hands on my stomach because it was growling again for hunger.

_**"For me?"**_ She asked looking into my eyes and I looked at her raising eyebrows. How was I supposed to answer that question? I couldn't simply say 'yeah, for you because that's all the fucking thing I want to do.'

_**"Yeah, well... I just... I just wanted, you know, to walk and explore places. Yeah, because, if not now, then when?"**_ I said babbling like a total jerk, trying to make up something at least a little credible.

_**"Yes, I get it."**_ She said smiling amused. Could she have guessed that what I said wasn't true at all? Then my stomach growled again and this time I frowned.

_**"Aren't you also starving like hell?"**_ I asked curious, and also to change the topic.

_**"No actually. I'm fine; I just forgot I had to eat because I'm entertained."**_ She answered shrugging and I looked at her serious.

_**"You should eat a bit more..."**_ I said in all seriousness.

_**"What? Oh please, Darren... Just because you can eat alone a sandwich the size of a house, doesn't mean that everybody has the need to eat that."**_ She said giggling softly, but I didn't laugh. It wasn't funny, I knew what she was doing; she was trying to turn this serious topic into a joke because she wanted to avoid this kind of talk.

_**"I'm just saying that you aren't eating the enough, you barely eat and when you do it, you only eat a damn salad. That's not healthy and I'm serious."**_ I said concerned.

_**"Darren, we can talk about everything you want; but do not tell me what I have to do or not. I think I'm the mature enough to take my own decisions according to what I consider is right or not. And I'm not so stupid to not take care of myself and my health. I know what I'm doing, okay? And I'd appreciate if you don't mention that anymore."**_ She said really serious and a bit annoyed now.

_**"Okay, fine! I was just opining, I wasn't forcing you to do what I say. I just think that... You should eat more for your health, but that's my opinion."**_ I said on the defensive.

_**"Whatever, Darren."**_ She said standing up while huffing and she attempted to walk away but I took her hand to stop her. She looked at me irritated and I stood up.

_**"Hey, Freckles, don't get mad. I'm aware that I can't tell you what to do or not, I'm just giving you my opinion about this. Just that. Only because I..."**_ I started saying but then I shut up. I couldn't tell her that I really cared about her because I didn't know how she was going to take it. She was now looking at me expectant. _**"Never mind..."**_ I said looking away. _**"I just want to let you know that someday I'm gonna take you out for a dinner and you'll have to eat absolutely everything of what I'm gonna order."**_ I said trying to joke because obviously she wasn't ready to have this kind of talk to me yet and I still couldn't make her see that she was doing it wrong.

_**"Okay, yeah, deal. Happy now?"**_ She said chuckling faintly.

_**"Just happy enough."**_ I replied, still holding one of her hands.

_**"You're very hard to please, Criss."**_ She said now with an amused smile.

_**"Actually I'm not."**_ I said shrugging.

_**"So then explain me why I can't get it?" **_

_**"Maybe it's because you aren't trying to please me."**_

_**"How can you be so sure, huh?"**_ She asked raising an eyebrow and that was very sensual, man.

_**"Just a feeling. Call it male intuition."**_ I said looking at her mischievously.

_**"Oh, I see what you did there..."**_ She said suspiciously and amused.

_**"I didn't do anything at all."**_ I replied with a mischievous smile while shrugging.

_**"Sure you didn't."**_ She said raising an eyebrow.

Then she let out my hand and turned around to walk to the shore of the lake. I just remained standing there, observing her while she was walking cocking her hip. Yes, she was way too thin, but she looked completely sexy. I mean; that body... I still remember the first time I saw her in her room, when I still didn't know she was Freckles. I was just looking at her like a depraved because damn, her ass was fantastic. Yeah, I needed to admit it. Not only her butt, but also her legs and her curvy waist, her big hips and her boobs. She had an hourglass shaped body and that was sexy. I had no idea how she managed to get that body. But yeah, I was still thinking she should gain some weight; I liked the old Freckles with her little chubby body that was adorable. She now looked like a freaking top model; not only because of her body, also because of her face. She always had a precious face. And her hair? I loved her long hair and I still didn't know why she cut it if she also loved her long hair. But anyway, she looked appealing with the short hair. And I really needed to stop looking at her like a degenerate; it'd be awkward if she found me looking at her that way. So I looked at her face. She was smiling brightly and looking down at the water; she had her pants rolled up and she was dipping her feet in the water. I smiled when I saw her walking happily in the shore.

_**"How's the water?"**_ I yelled smiling at her. She was relatively far from me. She looked up at me with a big cheesy grin, showing all her teeth.

_**"It's fantastic! So warm and pleasurable. Come over here, you won't regret!" **_She yelled back merrily.

_**"Okay! I trust you!"**_ I yelled while giggling and rolling up my jeans. I walked serenely to the shore to stand right next to her. As soon as my feet touched the water, a chill ran all over my body and now I had goosebumps. _**"Geez! The water is freezing, Freckles!"**_ I exclaimed frowning as she laughed.

_**"It's only until you get used. Trust me, it's really warm." **_She said still giggling cheerfully.

_**"I don't think I'll get used. Maybe I'll just watch you from the sand where is actually warm." **_I said attempting to get out of the water, but she took me by my hand.

_**"Stay here."**_ She said looking at me. Yeah, she got me with her bright eyes looking at me. Fuck, it was always so easy for her to convince me.

_**"Fine... But if don't get used at it, then I'm going to plunge you into the water."**_ I said jokingly as I walked closer to her, still holding her hand. I wasn't planning to let out her hand now.

_**"Deal... But you know? I'm going to plunge you into the water with me; so be careful." **_She said amused.

_**"Are you threatening me?"**_ I asked looking at her, squinting.

_**"Yes, I am."**_ She answered snickering. _**"Come on, let's go a little deeper."**_

_**"Are you insane? No, I'm still trying to get used at this and you want to go deeper. Definitely no."**_ I exclaimed raising my eyebrows.

_**"Come on, Darren. Let's go swim!"**_ She exclaimed excitedly.

_**"You're so fucking insane. That's not gonna happen."**_ I said serious.

But then I saw how she took off her shirt and threw it on the sand as I looked at her stunned. Oh fuck, what the hell was she doing? Why would she take off her shirt? Why would I be looking at her boobs like a depraved now? Damn, that was a sexy lace bra. Oh man, I really needed to stop looking at her breasts and her damn toned upper body; she had abs, man! I gulped and I tried to look away, feeling a bit uncomfortable and nervous now.

_**"What are you doing?"**_ I asked incredulous, still trying to avoid looking at her.

_**"Just taking off my clothes, I don't wanna wet my clothes and I really want to swim."**_ She answered and then I noticed she was moving.

I glanced at her surreptitiously and I saw she was now taking off her pants. Oh no, holy hell. Why was she doing that? This was so unfair, so fucking unfair. How was I supposed to act naturally and sassy if she was taking off her clothes and I was like 'holy shit, that body'? I didn't want to screw anything but she was making this hard. So yeah, she took off her pants and threw them to the sand. Fuck! What was that underwear anyway? She was wearing a low rise lace thong, that shouldn't be legal. I couldn't help it but staring her whole body like an idiot. She shouldn't be doing this, this wasn't good, oh no. I looked away again, this time frowning because I was doing my best to not look at her.

_**"Come on, Darren!"**_ She exclaimed cheerfully but I didn't look at her. _**"Come on; take off your clothes so we can swim! We maybe won't have another chance to swim." **_

_**"No... I don't... I'm not feeling like swimming..." **_I babbled like an idiot, still looking away.

_**"Come on! Please!"**_ She begged.

_**"No..."**_ I repeated roundly but then she placed a hand on my stomach underneath my shirt and I looked at her stunned. Her touch made me shiver and this wasn't good. _**"What are you doing?"**_ I asked kind of harshly but because she shouldn't be touching me, not while she was like that and I was trying my best to remain calm. She looked at me abruptly and kind of uncomfortable; she was blushing slightly now.

_**"I'm sorry."**_ She apologized now looking down and moving her hand away. _**"I was just trying to take off your shirt... Wait, that sounded bad... I just wanted to swim. I'm sorry."**_ She stammered nervously, still looking down and now biting her lower lip. Damn, I didn't want to make her feel as if she was doing something wrong.

_**"It's okay; you just took me by surprise. That's all."**_ I said quickly, softening my voice.

_**"Well, what I did was sort of inappropriate; so I apologize." **_She said still looking down. Damn.

_**"Hey, it's fine. Really."**_ I said softly while placing my hands on her shoulders. Inevitably, my eyes shifted to her boobs, but I quickly looked up straight in her eye.

_**"I'm sorry."**_ She said again, this time looking into my eyes. She was still feeling guilty and I didn't want it.

_**"Hey, there's no need to be sorry."**_ I said smiling slightly.

When I noticed she was still feeling uncomfortable because of the way I stopped her, I knew I had to do something. So then I took her hands and I placed them on my stomach again. I didn't know why the hell I was doing that because I knew that probably I was going to turn on. But I did it and she looked into my eyes perplexed with eyes wide open and raising her eyebrows. While still looking into each other's eyes, I made her grab my shirt and I helped her to take it off. Once we got it, I threw it on the sand and I turned to look at her again; she was observing my chest and I giggled softly. At least, I wasn't the only one staring a half-naked body now. When she heard me giggling, she looked up at me again.

_**"You've been working out, Criss."**_ She said amused.

_**"Not at all."**_ I replied and that was true.

_**"So you magically have abs now?"**_ She asked raising an eyebrow, still amused. Then she started touching my abs and I shivered. Shit, I really needed to chill out.

_**"Yeah, I'm magical."**_ I answered jokingly, trying to focus on the conversation and not in her touch.

_**"Maybe you are."**_ She said and then, fortunately, she stopped touching me. _**"So, do you wanna swim or not? I won't force you now, I'm sorry for that." **_

_**"It's okay. Maybe I could swim a little..."**_ I said when I noticed I was starting to get hard. The only salvation now was to plunge into the cold water.

_**"That's great!"**_ She exclaimed excited.

When she turned around and started walking to the deep part, I took advantage to take off my jeans and I threw them on the sand. I couldn't believe I was doing this; I couldn't believe I was only in my underwear in front of her with a hard-on and she was only in her sexy lace underwear in front of me. And we were just kind of friends. Dammit. So yeah, as soon as I took off my clothes, I plunged into the cold water right in the deep part. Oh damn, damn, damn! The water was freezing, I was freezing! I started floating and I saw Freckles looking at me and laughing. I also laughed while my body was still trembling because I was cold. She was still away from me and she was in the deep part, but the water only covered her body to the waist and she seemed to not be planning to swim to where I was.

_**"Come on, come over here!"**_ I yelled while I was still trembling and floating.

_**"Uh... I think I'll stay here."**_ She yelled.

_**"What? You cheater! You asked me if we could swim and now you won't swim? You ambushed me!"**_ I yelled in disbelief but amused. Now the water didn't seem so cold and fortunately the cold water helped me to remove my hard-on.

_**"Yes, I'm a cheater!"**_ She yelled while laughing.

_**"Come on, Freckles! It's amazing the water here!" **_

_**"It's the same water, Darren... We're in the same lake."**_ She said mockingly, raising an eyebrow, amused.

_**"Well yeah, it sounded stupid. What I'm trying to say is that is better if you dip your whole body in the water. You'll feel warmer." **_

_**"I'm fine like this."**_ She said waving her arms in the water.

_**"Come on!"**_ I insisted.

_**"Okay, but only till the water covers my shoulders." **_

_**"Okay?"**_ I replied confused. Why wouldn't she come over here?

Then Freckles started walking slowly and then she disappeared all of a sudden. I started to laugh because surely she stepped on a well in the sand underwater and it was funny. But after a few seconds I saw bubbles in the water and I saw how the water was churning; yet Freckles wasn't swimming to the surface. Then I started to get worried because she really wasn't appearing. So I swam to there as fast as I could and when I was close to the place where I saw her for the last time, I swam downwards and opened my eyes to try to find her. She was there, doing kicks with her legs and fluttering her arms almost violently; she was drowning. So I swam towards her quickly and I grabbed her wrist and pulled her toward me. Then she started to climb on top of me and she was pulling me under by a struggling; so I was starting to drown as well. So I got behind her and I placed my arms under each of her armpits; then I bended my arms back and held tight to then pull her up. Once we broke the surface, I pulled her to the shore while she was coughing up the water that she inhaled and she was also gasping. When we finally reached the shore, I left Freckles there and I kneeled next to her. She didn't move, so I looked at her face: she had her eyes closed.

_**"Freckles? Freckles, are you okay?"**_ I asked very concerned and edgy; she didn't answer, she didn't move, she didn't open her eyes; nothing. _**"Freckles!"**_

She didn't do anything. I leaned to check if she was breathing, she wasn't. Oh fuck. I didn't know what the fuck I had to do and I didn't have my damn phone to call 911 because I forgot it in the camp. I tried to remember those classes I had in high school about cardiopulmonary resuscitation. Damn! I was almost sure I had to do something with her chest or something. Damn I was so nervous. Yes, I remembered. I placed the heel of my hand in the middle of her chest and I put my other hand on top of the first with my fingers interlaced; then I compressed her chest 2 inches and then I allowed the chest to completely recoil before the next compression; and like that I performed 30 compressions. I felt pops and snaps when I first began chest compressions, but I didn't stop. Damn, why wasn't she breathing yet? I needed to begin rescue breathing; damn I've never done it in my entire life! But I opened her airway using the head-tilt, chin-lift method as I learned in high school. I pinched her nose and made a seal over her mouth with mine. I gave her a breath big enough to make her chest rise; then I let her chest fall, then repeated the rescue breath once more. I rechecked her for breathing. Oh holy shit, thanks god! She was breathing now; but anyway she wasn't awake. So I briskly rubbed my knuckles against her sternum for a long time, until she coughed up water and opened slightly her eyes. Oh holy hell! I sighed in relief, I was now extremely relieved. I placed a hand on the nape of her neck and I raised it slightly so she wouldn't choke. Man, I was so scared that I couldn't help it but crying because of the fear and relief I was feeling. My body was trembling, but she was fine.

_**"Freckles? Are you okay?"**_ I asked still a bit concerned. I needed to check if she was able to speak or if she wasn't confused, otherwise it was a bad sign.

_**"I'm fine."**_ She answered in a whisper, still coughing.

_**"Can you tell me who I am?" **_

_**"Yes, Darren." **_

_**"Right. And can you tell me where are we?" **_

_**"At this beach, Miners I don't remember the name..." **_

_**"Tell me more. Where were we before being here?" **_

_**"At some place with weird rock formations..." **_

_**"And before that?"**_

_**"A forest with a wolf."**_

_**"Right, right."**_ I said nodding and still crying in relief. I softly pulled her upper body towards me and I rested her head on my chest, now caressing her hair. _**"You're gonna be fine." **_I whispered softly, trying to stop crying. She wrapped her arms around my waist.

_**"Thank you! I could have died and you saved me! Thank you!"**_ She exclaimed while burying her head on my chest. She was trembling and I needed to reassure her.

_**"You? Die? Oh no man, I'd never let it happen. I still need you to be your annoying pain in the ass."**_ I said trying to joke to make her feel better. She giggled softly but nervously, and she was still trembling and crying. _**"Freckles, you're fine and you're gonna fine; okay? Calm down, I'm right here."**_ I whispered reassuringly, kissing her head, caressing her hair with one hand and rubbing her back with the other.

_**"Thank you, Darren. I don't know what I'm gonna do to thank you. You saved me."**_ She said still crying.

_**"Hey, stop with that, Freckles. You don't have to thank me, okay? You scared me like shit, you evil girl; so I'm just happy that you're fine. Just promise me that you'll calm down and you're gonna be fine; that's all I need."**_ I whispered softly.

_**"I promise."**_ She whispered and then I felt how she kissed my chest and my heart started beating faster. _**"I love you, Dare."**_ She whispered and my heart skipped a beat, but I needed to focus on the situation.

_**"I love you too, Freckles."**_ I whispered and then I kissed her head while closing my eyes; still holding her in my arms.

* * *

Right after you felt really scared because you thought you were going to drown in the lake; you were lying on the sand, resting your head on Darren's lap while he was running his fingers on your arm to still try to reassure you. He was looking at the lake and he seemed to be very thoughtful; you were just looking at his face. He saved you; even if he didn't want to admit it, he saved you and you didn't know how you were going to thank him. Any other person could have freaked out and leave you there alone, drowning; but he reacted in panic and he took you to the shore; even if you started drowning him too at one point because of your fear and your eagerness to break out the surface; he didn't give up and he took you to a safe place. No one ever saved you before; of course you've never been in a life or death situation, but you weren't sure if somebody else would have done it for you. Maybe yes; maybe your sister or mom would have done it, even Brian. But Darren? Why? He risked his own life only to save you; even though you weren't anything but people who were starting to meet each other regardless of what happened between you two in the past. He wasn't important in your life anymore and you were sure that you weren't important in his life now as well. But then he did something like that like saving your life risking his own and you were surprised; and very thankful too. Why would he do that? Either he was completely insane and liked the extreme risks or you still meant something to him. And if you still meant something to him, you were feeling bad because you simply couldn't feel the same way about him. Yes, you liked him because he was funny and kind, a bit of a goober too; but you just liked him as you liked any stranger that was nice to you. And even when you kissed last night and slept cuddling felt weird. You had to admit that you enjoyed it somehow, but it didn't feel so right because your feelings for him weren't the same; because your feelings for him didn't even exist. But there you were, looking at him very touched for what he did; and also looking at him while thinking how sexy he looked with his curly long hair wet while drops were falling from his curls and his long eyelashes. You didn't want to think those things, but you had to admit that he was a handsome guy; maybe not the most handsome guy you've ever met because Ian was way sexier than Darren; but Darren had something singular that made him look really good-looking. And to clear things up, only because you were admitting that he was handsome, didn't mean that you liked him more because of that. No. It was just like admitting that Brian was handsome and sexy; although you knew that saying that of Darren was different. However, you shouldn't be thinking about that and you needed to stop looking at him. You sighed and turned your face, now resting your cheeks on Darren's lap to watch the lake. He kept running his fingers through your arm, very softly; that was very pleasant and relaxing that you thought you could soon fall asleep. Why was he being so nice? Why was he being so caring? What if he was still feeling something for you? You couldn't let it happen because you honestly didn't feel anything for him and he seemed to be a good boy now and you didn't want to hurt his feelings.

_**"Hey, how are you feeling now?"**_ You heard Darren suddenly asking. You turned your face to look at him. He was now looking down to look into your eyes and he was smiling kindly.

_**"I'm much better, thanks." **_You replied with a slight smile. _**"As if nothing has happened." **_

_**"I guess that's something good."**_ He said softly.

You could notice that his voice now was different than in high school. He had a sexy and deep voice, yet sweet and mellow. And it was funny because in high school he always looked very dapper; and now he had this scruffy look, with his bushy curly hair and that stubble on his face. Not to mention his body, that was now toned and he had chest hair. And maybe he was also thinner. Okay, you really needed to stop thinking about that.

_**"Yes, it is."**_ You answered with a soft smile.

_**"Do you wanna come back to the camp?"**_ He asked and you thought about it for a few seconds.

_**"No, actually I'd like to try something... But I don't know if you'd want."**_ You said mysteriously. You noticed that Darren looked at you with eyes wide open and then he gulped. What would he be thinking?

_**"What?"**_ He finally asked and you stood up while he remained sitting.

You handed him your hand, as telling him to stand up. He took it and he stood up right in front of you. He didn't let out your hand, as all the times you held hands; it seemed as if he didn't want to do it, and well, you tried to avoid thinking about it and you just wanted to think that it was just pure coincidence that he never attempted to let out your hand. He was still looking at you in that weird way.

_**"I was just wondering... You don't have to do it if you don't want and it's gonna be fine."**_ You said quickly and he kept looking at you in that way.

_**"I have a sneaking suspicion that I will say yes."**_ He said and you looked at him frowning and then you chuckled amused but still confused. _**"Just tell me."**_

_**"You know what happened before with me... And you had to save me and then that whole thing of breathing rescue... Yeah, I was wondering if you'd want to..."**_

_**"Yes, I want to."**_ He interrupted you, looking fixedly into your eyes, still holding your hand. You looked at him bewildered, frowning.

_**"But you still don't know what I'm gonna ask you." **_You said now raising an eyebrow.

_**"Yeah, sorry... Umm... Yeah, what were you going to ask?" **_He asked, still looking at you in that weird way. It was as if he wasn't listening to you, but he was... It was just weird.

_**"I was just wondering if you'd want to teach me how to float."**_ You said still frowning and Darren raised his eyebrows and opened his mouth, babbling in surprise.

_**"Oh!"**_ He exclaimed now a bit uncomfortable. _**"Oh, it was that."**_

_**"Yes..."**_ You said still frowning and now looking at him suspiciously. _**"Why? What were you thinking?"**_

_**"Nothing. Nothing at all."**_ He said shortly and loudly, obviously feeling uncomfortable.

_**"Um, I see..."**_ You said raising an eyebrow, believing not even a bit what he answered. _**"You don't have to do it if you don't want..."**_

_**"No, I want to... I mean, that's a cool idea... But why would you like to swim in the lake after what happened? I mean, you must be brave."**_ He said still very uncomfortable.

_**"Well, only because I want to learn at least how to float, so this won't happen again."**_ You replied looking down, now feeling embarrassed. _**"Geez, this is so embarrassing! I can't believe I can't swim and I can't believe I'm asking you this. I'm so stupid."**_

_**"Hey no, it's not stupid the fact you can't swim and it's not stupid from you to ask me that. There are a lot of people who can't swim."**_ Darren said nicely, apparently trying to make you feel a little better.

_**"Yeah, but not people that have my age..."**_ You said still embarrassed.

_**"Actually yes. There are a lot of people of your age that can't swim; even there are people much older than you that can't swim. You shouldn't feel ashamed of it. Actually, you should feel proud because you took the initiative to want to learn to swim, and that's cool."**_ Darren said now smiling, encouraging you. You couldn't help it but smiling back at him.

_**"Thank you. So, what do you say? Would you want to... you know." **_You asked a bit embarrassed, but feeling a bit better.

_**"Hell yeah! I always wanted to be a teacher of something."**_ He replied cheerfully and you giggled.

_**"A teacher? Really?" **_You asked amused.

_**"Yeah, I always thought that being a teacher and a dad is the closest thing to being a superhero."**_ Darren answered with a goofy smile, nodding energetically. You only giggled amused, but also with tenderness because it was cute what he said.

_**"Well, at least one of your purposes on life will be accomplished now. You'll be an almost superhero."**_

_**"And that makes me supper happy. It's like I'm gonna be Robin now and then, when I get to be a dad after a long time from now, I'm gonna be Batman."**_ Darren said excited and you laughed so hard. His randomness was priceless.

_**"Okay, let me ask you... Why Batman and Robin?"**_ You asked amused and he was about to answer but you interrupted him. _**"Why not Superboy and then Superman? I mean, getting to know two planets, Earth and Krypton; you can be faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, and able to leap tall buildings in a single bound; powers that include flight, super-strength, invulnerability to non-magical attacks, super-speed, vision powers, super-hearing, and super-breath. And you're a member of the Justice League of America."**_ You started saying amused as Darren was looking at you completely amazed, raising his eyebrows and smiling. Yes, thanks god you read somewhere his story. _**"Not to mention that Superman is a comic books published by DC Comics. You see? DC. Like the initials of your name."**_ You said raising an eyebrow completely amused, smiling proudly.

_**"Okay, if what you wanted was to convince me to be Superboy and then Superman, you totally got it."**_ Darren finally answered after a while he looked at you in silence because of his surprise.

_**"No, I didn't want it. I was just wondering why you'd choose Batman and Robin and not Superman and Superboy. Just that." **_You answered amused, shrugging.

_**"Shut up, I'm Superboy and I'm gonna be Superman. And I'm totally awesome."**_ Darren said with a sassy smile. _**"And you're Supergirl."**_

_**"Really? You're my cousin!"**_ You exclaimed cheerfully while laughing.

_**"Maybe you could be Wonder Woman." **_Darren said shortly and you laughed. _**"Yes, you're gonna be Wonder Girl if you learn to float and when you get to be a mom, you're gonna be Wonder Woman."**_

_**"Seems fair enough."**_ You said with an amused smile.

_**"Okay, almost Wonder Girl, we need to get this shit done. So, I'll take you to the water with my super-strength power!"**_ Darren exclaimed loudly imitating a superhero's voice and you giggled.

Then Darren took you in his arms and he walked to the water again as you were still giggling. You couldn't believe he was so dork! It was so funny to be with him; he was so funny and such goofball. He walked until he noticed it was deep enough but not so deep, so you wouldn't drown again. Then he left you and placed his hands on your waist as you placed your hands on his shoulders.

_**"Can you touch the bottom?"**_ Darren asked and you nodded. _**"Okay, let's do something. I'll carry you out to the deeper water where you cannot touch the bottom but where I can, just in case you cannot float the first time you try and I have to catch you; that way I will prevent both of us drown. Okay?"**_

_**"Okay."**_ You answered softly. You were scared and you felt even more scared when you remember that you almost die in this stupid lake.

_**"Just relax, okay?"**_ Darren said really softly and reassuringly when he saw your panic face. _**"Now, wrap your legs around my waist and your arms around my neck."**_ He said and you did so; you literally climbed on him. _**"Please, not so tightly or you're gonna leave me breathless."**_ He said chuckling softly but with a voice as if you were throttling him.

_**"Oh, so sorry!"**_ You automatically apologized and did what Darren asked.

_**"Okay, that's better."**_ He said and then he looked into your eyes and smiled. _**"Relax, Freckles. I won't let anything happen to you." **_He said and you nodded in silence, but you were still frightened. _**"Just trust me."**_ He said softly and you nodded again. Then he wrapped his arms around your waist and he started walking until he reached a part of the lake in which the water was covering his shoulders. That was so deep for you.

_**"I don't want to do this. Please, take me to the shore. Please, Darren."**_ You begged really edgy and scared.

_**"What? Freckles, you're gonna be fine, really. You just need to chill out. Look, I can touch the bottom, so I can catch you in case you start drowning. I won't let you drown, trust me."**_ Darren said reassuringly, looking deeply into your eyes.

_**"I trust you, but... But really, I can't do this."**_ You said with trembling voice, freaking out.

_**"Yes, you can. You can do everything you want but for that you need to be relaxed and be self-confident. I know you can do that. So, at least let's try once." **_Darren said really reassuringly.

_**"Okay, but please, don't let me drown, don't let me die."**_ You said with trembling voice, still freaking out and Darren giggled softly.

_**"Freckles, if I wanted to let you die, I'd have done it already. Did I do it? No. I want you alive. So, just cool it." **_Darren said softly and you nodded. _**"Okay now, unwrap your legs and arms around me, I'll take you by the waist and I won't let you." **_He said and you slowly did what he said. Oh shit, you couldn't touch the bottom not even by chance. You started trembling and you were really scared; but Darren was taking you by your waist as he promised. _**"Good, now breathe and relax... Relax all of the muscles in your body." **_He said looking fixedly at you, very attentive to your movements. You tried to calm down, you really needed to stop being afraid of this; it was time for you to learn at least how to float.

_**"Okay, I'm fine."**_ You assured when you got to calm down and Darren smiled.

_**"Good. First of all you need to learn how to hold your breath under water. So, I'll keep taking you by the waist and I want you to take a deep breath, hold your nose with your fingers and sink under the water. Yeah?" **_

_**"Yes, okay."**_ You said nodding and you did exactly what Darren said.

While he kept taking you by your waist, you sank under the water. At first it felt exasperating and you felt as if you were going to drown, but he pulled you up right in time and then you inhaled air.

_**"So, how was it?"**_ He asked.

_**"Fine, just, I felt as if I was going to drown, like I couldn't hold my breath." **_You replied.

_**"Okay. You have to take a really deep breath, okay? We'll do this several times until you can feel comfortable with this."**_ Darren explained.

So you did the same about five times and then you started feeling comfortable and you noticed you could hold your breath under water for a long time, since Darren was letting you be under the water for more time each time you repeated this process. He then told you to try it without holding your nose with your hands and you did it about three times. This wasn't so bad.

_**"Well done, Freckles!"**_ Darren exclaimed cheerfully and you smiled brightly. _**"Now, next step. Place both of your hands on my shoulders."**_ He demanded and you did it. _**"Now lift your legs up behind you."**_ He said looking at you very concentrated. You did it, so that now your body was in horizontal position. _**"Good! Now flap your legs."**_ He said while he placed one hand under your stomach; that helped to keep you in that position. _**"Perfect, Freckles! Now you have to put your face under water. You might experience water getting in your mouth and nose; but that's alright, you'll improve with practice. And keep flapping your legs."**_ Darren said quiet.

You took a deep breath before doing what Darren said. Of course a lot of water got in your nose and you were swallowing water. But it wasn't as bad as you thought it was going to be. You pulled your head up and you coughed a little because of the water you swallowed, but you were fine. You looked at Darren and he was smiling proudly.

_**"That was so good. You're doing it good, Freckles. Now, I want you to do exactly the same, but this time, I want you to relax your hold on my shoulders until you leave your hands totally and try to float."**_ Darren said, observing you very intently.

You tried to do it. Still flapping your legs, you started to relax your hold on his shoulders. But when you decided to let your hands from his shoulder, you sank. You sank under the water and you started shaking violently, moving your arms and legs, trying to hold your breath but barely could do it. You started to freak out when you noticed you weren't moving up the surface. Until you felt Darren's hands under your breasts and he pulled you up. When you broke the surface, Darren pulled you towards him and he held you by your waist as you were inhaling and exhaling.

_**"Okay, okay, calm down, Freckles. It's alright, it's alright."**_ Darren said trying to reassure you but you were feeling scared again. _**"Okay, it's really hard to get it right the first time, so don't feel discouraged. It takes practice to get it right. But you've been doing it well." **_

_**"No, I didn't get it! I almost drowned, Darren!"**_ You said really scared, now wrapping your arms around his neck and your legs around his waist.

_**"No, it's not like that. You just couldn't get it right because it's really hard; no one gets it right the first time. Don't feel bad, you've been doing a good job."**_ Darren said encouragingly, but you just couldn't feel good.

_**"It was so stupid from me to want to learn how to swim! I'll never get it."**_ You exclaimed annoyed and scared.

_**"Hey, Freckles, look at me."**_ Darren said, now placing one hand on your cheek. You looked into his eyes frowning and feeling bad because of your failure. _**"It's not stupid and you'll get it with practice."**_

_**"I don't think so."**_ You said discouraged, looking down. Then Darren caressed your cheek with his thumb and so you looked at him.

_**"You'll get it. I believe in you."**_ He said softly, looking deeply into your eyes.

When you looked into his eyes, you knew you were fucked up. Yes, now you couldn't take your eyes off him; his eyes always had this effect on you; you were sure that his eyes weren't actually human eyes, his eyes were actually mesmerizing eyes; so he surely was a hypnotist or something. And today the dominant color in his eyes was gold near the pupil and dark green on the outer part of the iris; you loved his eyes, you loved his multicolored iris and how it changed when observed in sunlight or changed depending on the weather. And his long eyelashes; geez, guys aren't supposed to have those eyelashes. Then you looked at his eyebrows and you slightly touched them with your fingertip, very slowly along the eyebrow shape. You couldn't help it, you were truly mesmerized.

_**"You have perfect scalene triangle eyebrows. Like, I could really learn geometry just by looking at them. I could perfectly tell that the angles of your eyebrows are 115, 75, and 40." **_You said in a whisper, still touching them along the eyebrow shape with your fingertip.

_**"What?"**_ You heard Darren snickering softly and then you realized how wanky and freaky it sounded.

_**"Sorry, I just..."**_ You babbled and looked down, feeling nervous because of the stupid thing you said, you weren't thinking when you said it loud. _**"Forget it."**_

_**"This is the first time I've been told that. I like the way you're so observant." **_He said softly and you could feel his breath when he was saying that. Damn you were so close.

_**"I'm a freak."**_ You whispered still looking down, embarrassed.

_**"If you're a freak, then I love it."**_ He whispered.

When he said that, you looked up and looked at him straight into his eye. He was looking deeply into your eyes and his eyes were really bright; you also could notice he was smiling warmly. And you were so damn close from each other. You remained silent, just looking into each other's eyes for a long time; until you noticed how he shifted his gaze to your lips. You also looked at his lips; he had his lips parted. Then you looked at his eyes again but he kept staring your lips, so you started to feel nervous. You felt even more nervous when he leaned his head and got even closer to your lips and the tip of his nose touched yours. You couldn't let it happen, so you quickly turned your face and looked away, gulping. You had your upper body against his and you were still wrapping your legs and arms around him because you were still in the deep water; so you could feel his heart beating fast. Maybe he was also nervous. You noticed that Darren was now looking at you, frowning slightly; but you didn't want to look at him. Then he moved slightly his face away. This was another uncomfortable situation.

_**"I think we could keep practicing later or maybe another day."**_ He whispered, his voice trembling.

_**"Yeah, I think so too."**_ You replied, still looking away and biting your lower lip.

Why would you still feel attracted to him if he was just a stranger? That scared you. You couldn't let it happen. Definitely no. You had no feelings for him, you repeated over and over in your mind.

* * *

What the fuck was wrong with me, man? I almost kissed her there! Shit, I shouldn't have felt that way. But she was so appealing, I couldn't help it. Her damn cute freckles on her face, more noticeable in the sunlight; her damn luscious lips; her bright big eyes and eyelashes; the fucking drops dripping from her hair to her face to end up in the corner of her mouth. Oh man, that drove me crazy. But seriously, what the hell was I thinking when I leaned my head to kiss her? I needed to control myself but it was being so hard. And besides, I didn't want to do that; I didn't want to kiss her. Well yeah, I wanted. But not now; I didn't want to screw this. I was aware that if I kissed her, it was going to be only a sexual need because of the physical attraction I was feeling for her. And I didn't want to make of this an arousing thing. I really wanted to know her; I was really interested on knowing more about her new personality. Yes, I had feelings for her because I always had feelings for her; it wasn't only physical attraction. But those feelings were the feelings I felt for her when she had that other personality. I still didn't know how she was now, so I shouldn't still have those feelings for her. I needed to remind to myself that she wasn't anymore the same girl with who I fell in love with. And she was feeling so uncomfortable, she turned her face and she wasn't looking at me anymore; that was my fault. Why did I have to do that if we were having a good time together?

_**"Okay, I'll take us to the shore."**_ I said playing dumb, pretending that I actually didn't want to do anything at all. _**"Just stay like this until we reach somewhere you can touch the bottom." **_

_**"Okay."**_ She answered curtly, still looking away.

Shit, this was so uncomfortable. I didn't like this. Should I apologize? No, because if I did it, she was going to be utterly sure that I wanted to kiss her; maybe she was only suspecting it but she wasn't fully sure; so I wouldn't screw this more than it already was. So I was walking silently to the shore with Freckles still clinging to me while I had my hands firmly placed in her waist; until a yell caught our attention.

_**"Hey, you two!"**_ A big and robust man with ranger outfit yelled, looking at me and Freckles. _**"It's forbidden to swim in the lake in this season and it's forbidden to be in underwear in this National Park. It's a tourist area!"**_ The man yelled and he seemed to be really angry. _**"Get out of the water right now, you'll have to accompany me to the police station." **_

What the fuck? I exchanged a look with Freckles. She was also looking at me and she seemed to be very edgy and troubled. How come this could have happened? We didn't even know we couldn't swim in this season; there wasn't a damn sign that said that. And we were alone in this beach, so why was it such a problem to be in underwear? It was just like being in swimsuit. Never, in my entire life, I went to the police station and I wasn't planning to go there.

_**"What are we gonna do?"**_ I asked in a whisper, looking at Freckles. _**"No way am I going to the police station." **_

_**"Of course not, that's not an option for me."**_ Freckles replied in a whisper and she started looking around, in a very attentive way.

_**"Come over here, right now! That's an order!"**_ The man yelled again very angry.

_**"Freckles!"**_ I exclaimed in a whisper, very nervous. I had no idea how we could get away from this situation.

_**"Hold on, wait a minute! I'm thinking!" **_She exclaimed exasperatedly, still looking round.

_**"Right now, get out or this is gonna get worse for you two!"**_ The man screamed furious and I was really freaking out, looking at the man and then at Freckles.

_**"Okay..."**_ Freckles whispered, now looking at me. _**"I have this plan, but we must be fast."**_

_**"Yeah, tell me."**_ I replied in a whisper, very eager to hear that plan.

_**"The man is not gonna go away and we need to get out of here; and when he sees us getting out of here, he's gonna walk to us to catch us. We cannot avoid it." **_

_**"Yeah, that's an excellent plan!"**_ I exclaimed ironically because of my nervousness.

_**"Shut up, Darren. I'm not finished."**_ Freckles said kinda annoyed. _**"We have to walk quietly to the shore, pretending that we're doing what he wants us to do. Then, when we reach the shore, he's gonna be waiting for us. That's the moment we need to be fast."**_

_**"What are you proposing to do?"**_ I asked while looking at her fixedly.

_**"As soon as we reach the shore, we need to run away as fast as we can to the forest. That man surely can't run so fast and he won't catch us, but anyway we must be sneak and fast."**_ She said and I looked at her horrified.

_**"Are you insane? That man is a gamekeeper. He must know the forest like the back of his hand. He'll find us and we'll be in serious troubles." **_I whispered still feeling scared.

_**"Well, Darren, then tell me your plan; because I can't think about something else."**_ She said frowning.

_**"No, me either. Okay... Okay, maybe it'll work."**_ I said when I realized I did have no other plan and maybe this was the only we could do. _**"We can do this."**_

_**"Yes, we can." **_Freckles whispered encouragingly. _**"Come on, now start walking."**_

_**"Yes."**_ I whispered and I started walking to the shore with Freckles still clinging to me.

_**"Okay, I think I can touch bottom here; so leave me to be faster."**_ She whispered and I nodded, placing her down. _**"Okay, Darren, remember, we need to be slow and when we reach the shore, just run."**_

_**"Yes, got it."**_ I replied.

So we started walking slowly and silently to the shore while the man started walking towards us, just as Freckles said. Holy shit, I was so nervous; that man was looking at us very severely and it was scary. I looked at his hands; he had a pair of handcuffs. Shit. My heartbeat was racing at a high speed and my body was slightly trembling, it was ridiculous. When we reached the shore, everything happened so fast.

_**"Run!"**_ Freckles yelled her lungs out as she started running really fast.

I started running as fast as I could but it was really hard to run in the sand; Freckles was way too away now, she was so fucking fast. The gamekeeper started running behind us, he was in a rage and Freckles was wrong, that man actually was really fast despite his large muscle mass. Oh fuck! He was going to catch me! I needed to be faster but this was being so hard and I was already tired. I felt as if I was out of breath. Then it happened: the gamekeeper took me by my curls and he tugged my hair and that made me scream in pain. Shit! I tried to keep running but he was so damn strong. Freckles turned her face while still running when she heard my scream; she now looked at me with eyes wide open and worried.

_**"Keep running!"**_ I yelled at her when I saw she stopped abruptly.

That was it, I couldn't do anything, the man caught me and he was strong; but Freckles needed to keep running to be safe. The man pulled my arms back strongly and he started handcuffing me while Freckles was still looking at me in shock. She now ran towards me and I looked at her terrified. Oh no, fuck! She really needed to run away not to run to here. I turned my face to look at the gamekeeper and I noticed he was very concentrated handcuffing me so he couldn't see what Freckles was doing. Freckles was really fast, as if she was an expert on this. She didn't look at me; she only ran and kicked the man's balls. The man screamed and grabbed his balls as he writhed in pain. I looked at the man and I couldn't move because of the shock; so Freckles took me by the arm and pulled me to her, as she forced me to run next to her. We quickly entered the forest and we kept running away from the beach. We ran and ran until we were very away from the beach, so then we stopped. Both of us were gasping, sweating and trembling. I let myself drop to the ground with my hands handcuffed and Freckles sat next to me. I looked at her and even if I was still gasping and I couldn't talk, I needed to thank her. She risked her own safety because of me.

_**"Thank you, Freckles."**_ I said still gasping.

_**"It's okay."**_ She replied also gasping. _**"That was so close."**_

_**"You're so stupid! So fucking stupid!"**_ I suddenly exclaimed frowning.

_**"What?"**_ She asked in disbelief.

_**"How dare you to run to me? That man could have caught you!" **_

_**"Well, but he didn't! What? Are you complaining?"**_

_**"Of course I'm complaining! I can't believe it, you're so damn insane! How dare you!"**_

_**"Okay, sorry, I didn't know it could make you feel so mad!" **_

_**"Hell yeah! You should have kept running away! You're completely crazy! What's wrong with you, Freckles?"**_

_**"I don't even know why you're so mad! We're okay!" **_

_**"Yes, now. But that man, holy shit, that man could have beaten you! You should think more before doing something, Freckles!"**_

_**"What the fuck, Darren? Are you really reproaching me? What the fuck? I should have left you there! Goddammit." **_

_**"Yes, you should have done it! For fuck's sake!"**_

_**"Screw you, Darren!"**_

And so we kept yelling at each other. I was upset because she did a stupid thing she shouldn't have done, even if I was thankful; and she was upset because I was upset and this was all a mess of being upset with each other. And we were really yelling at each other and that was insane. Then I just shut up and I stared at Freckles who was still yelling shit at me; but I wasn't listening to her anymore. Whoa, she looked so hot while yelling; I couldn't stop looking at her mouth.

_Freckles was still yelling but all I could do was to think how hot she looked, I was feeling so turned on right now. I couldn't hold it anymore: While she was still yelling, I pounced on her and I kissed her fiercely. She was surprised by this, so at first she didn't do anything. Then, when she realized what I was doing, she tried to pull me away but I managed to keep kissing her. It was so hard to do because I had my hands handcuffed and she was pulling me away, but I was so turned on that I managed to lean her on the ground and to get on top of her, while still kissing her. After a while, she stopped pulling me away and, instead, she wrapped her arms around my neck and started running her fingers through my curls, very fiercely; and she deepened the kiss. That kiss turned into a very passionate and fervent kiss: She let me introduce my tongue into her mouth and I started massaging her tongue with mine. We only parted when we needed to take a breath; and whenever we parted, I bit her lower lip as she breathed against my lips, something that was making me feel even more turned on. I kissed her lips even more fervently and that was a very lustful kiss. She wrapped her legs around my hips as she whined and thrust her hips up, touching my hard-on with her pelvis. I was so fucking aroused. I bit her lips and then I started kissing her neck, licking it sometimes; then I started sucking her earlobe while I started thrusting my hips against her and she was with her eyes closed, moaning. She was moaning for me. Damn, I wanted to touch her but I had my hands handcuffed and this was being so hard to do. She noticed I was uncomfortable because of the stupid handcuffs, so she placed her hands on my chest and pulled me away. I looked at her disconcerted while she was moving and I was lying on the ground now. But then she got on top of me, sitting right on my crotch. She smiled at me mischievously and looked at me lustful and that increased my hard-on. She leaned and bit my lower lip very slowly before licking them to then bit them again. I wanted to pull her into a fierce kiss, but she moved her face to start sucking my earlobe. Oh damn, this was so arousing that I thrust my hips against hers. Then she started licking my neck to go then to my chest. She nibbled my nipples and licked them. Oh fuck, fuck! I was so aroused, I couldn't stop moaning and thrusting my hips up. She continued licking her way down to my stomach and I got goosebumps as I arched my back. She was so good, man. Then she stopped doing it to sit upright and look at me in a very sensual way, smirking almost evilly. What the hell was she doing? I wanted her to continue. Oh yeah... She took off her bra and dropped it on the ground. I stared at her boobs for a long time, just admiring them. She was so fucking sexy and hot. Then she leaned on my body and I could feel her warm boobs against my chest while she was kissing me fervently. Then she stopped kissing me and I tried to raise my head to catch her lips again, but she moved up. I loved her for that. She moved up to place her boobs right on my mouth so I could kiss and suck them. So I started doing it as she started moaning loudly while she was her eyes closed. Oh, I loved the way she was moaning in pleasure. While I was still licking her boobs; she started running her fingers through my chest and my stomach and then she made her way down to my pelvis. I couldn't help it but thrusting my hips up again. I was extremely aroused right now that I started dry humping her. She now sat upright and placed her hands on my chest, to start moving her hips, to start dry humping me. Man I couldn't hold it anymore, I wanted to take off her underwear and I wanted to take off mine too, I had the urge to penetrate her; but I couldn't do anything because of my handcuffed hands, I was kind of her slave. And she did it. She pulled her hips up to take off her underwear and then she took off mine. Once she did it, she stared my crotch for a while as I was looking at her lustful. She leaned and started licking my pelvis and then she went straight to my erection and started licking the tip of my dick very slowly. Oh holy shit, that was feeling so damn good. I moved my head back and closed my eyes as I started groaning loudly while she was giving me a blowjob. Oh geez, this was the best I could have ever felt. Not even Kelly was so good at this; why Freckles was so good? Pre-cum everywhere, everywhere! I was so aroused and I wanted to go all the way with her. She stopped and looked at me lustful as she sat on my stomach, spreading her legs to my sides. She grabbed my dick and started stroking it and then she lined up my dick to her vaginal opening; I whimpered really loudly._

_"Do you have a condom?" She asked in a moan. Fuck, I didn't have one._

_**"No, I don't have one."**_ I answered.

_**"What?"**_ Freckles asked looking at me completely disturbed. _**"What are you talking about, Darren? What is that thing you don't have? Are you even listening to me?"**_ Freckles yelled looking at me in disbelief, frowning. _**"I was telling you that we don't have any clothes, we left them at the beach! But you don't seem to be listening to me."**_

That was when I came back to reality. We were still sitting and she was looking at me frowning and bewildered. Oh fuck, I can't believe it. I can't believe that I just had a sexual fantasy of her. Of course I've had a lot of sexual fantasies with her already, but never in front of her. What the hell was wrong with me? Damn, what was she saying? I really didn't know what she was talking about because I was fucking her in my stupid mind. I looked at her and she seemed to be waiting for some kind of answer and I didn't know what she was talking about. I babbled for a few minutes like an idiot.

_**"I... I was... Yeah, I was listening to you."**_ I finally said when I remembered what she asked. I needed to make up something now, to pretend I was listening to her all this time. _**"Yeah, we left the clothes there, but fortunately we have our bags in the camp and our phones are there too. We just have to come back to the camp and we're gonna be fine. Don't worry about your clothes, I can buy you other clothes if you want; but we can't come back to the beach because surely the gamekeeper is still there. I know the way to the camp, so we're gonna be fine."**_ I said and, despite my nervousness and awkwardness, what I said sounded pretty logical, so I was proud of myself.

_**"Sorry, Darren. I wasn't listening to you because I wouldn't stop looking at your..."**_ She said frowning and I also frowned in confusion. Then she sighed. _**"Darren. You have boner."**_ Freckles said roundly looking at me while raising an eyebrow. I freeze.

_**"What?"**_ I shrieked jittery, raising my eyebrows and opening my mouth.

She looked at my bulge and then she looked away, still raising an eyebrow. So then I also looked at my bulge. Oh damn shit, I had a boner indeed. I closed my eyes for a little and I bit my lower lip. Oh man! This was so embarrassing. Could this get even worse? I couldn't believe I had a stupid boner in front of her. What the hell was I going to tell her now? Come on, Darren; find at least a lame explanation for your boner.

_**"What? It's... It's the adrenaline."**_ I replied feeling completely embarrassed, frowning and trying to avoid her gaze.

Then the uncomfortable silence began. Neither of us talked. We were just silently looking away; I was feeling like a fool completely embarrassed and she surely was feeling embarrassed. I placed an arm on my boner and I started thinking about nasty things, so maybe that way the boner was going to disappear. I was trying to get it until I heard how Freckles burst out laughing. I automatically looked at her, frowning in confusion. She was looking at me and she was still laughing loudly.

_**"Why are you laughing?" **_I asked bewildered and she laughed even louder. She was even shedding tears because of the laughter.

_**"This... Oh my god, this is so funny."**_ She said still laughing, she couldn't even talk.

_**"What is so funny?"**_ I asked still confused but now with a slight amused smirk because her laughter was very catchy.

_**"This whole thing! The way you were so embarrassed because I caught your boner and the way you're now so serious and concentrated. Are you trying to make it disappear?"**_ She laughed, looking at my crotch and I frowned.

_**"What? I can't believe you're asking that."**_ I replied still frowning, but laughing softly.

_**"I could help you think nasty and terrible things to make it disappear."**_ She said with an amused smile. How the hell did she know I was thinking about nasty things? Could she read my mind? _**"What? Why are you looking at me that way, Criss? I know that you guys use that technique to make boners disappear. It's not something new for me."**_ She said shrugging.

_**"Oh well, you seem to be an expert of this."**_ I said amused, looking at her amazed.

_**"I'm not an expert, but I do know a lot of things about sexual things." **_She answered giggling softly.

_**"Oh well, cool. You know? I'm yearningly waiting for that moment that you, girls, start having ladies boners. It'd be fair that way. I mean, that way, us, boys, won't be the only ones embarrassed when this happens."**_ I said trying to joke to stop feeling embarrassed.

_**"Oh, but we do have clitoral erection; you know, the clitoris becomes enlarged and firm just as a penis. Did you know that the clitoris actually is a penis?" **_She asked and I raised my eyebrows. What was she talking about? Why was she saying these things?

_**"What?"**_ I asked incredulous.

_**"Yes. Listen, when we're all being formed, we start out with the same parts. But in some babies, testosterone is introduced, and some turn into boys. Then, they get a penis. On girls, the same parts are there, but we don't grow to nearly the same size. This is the clitoris. That's why if you look at a clitoris it kinda looks like a very tiny penis head. Cause it kind of is. We have an under-developed penis inside; the clitoris is actually the only visible part of it."**_ She answered and I looked at her agape. I couldn't believe she was answering this with such naturally, as if she wasn't awkward not even a bit.

_**"Well, you seem to be very open to talk about sexual things so naturally."**_ I said, amazed because of the way she was talking and also because of that explanation that woman did have a penis. That was weird.

_**"Yeah... I mean, why wouldn't I talk about it naturally? I mean, we shouldn't feel embarrassed while talking about the human body and sexual things; it's something natural and biological." **_Freckles answered tranquilly, shrugging.

_**"Yeah, I agree. But I'm amazed because not so many girls talk about it as naturally as you just did. Guys talk about sex and stuff all the time, but it seems different on girls."**_ I said softly, still feeling amazed. She seemed to be very mature.

_**"Well, it shouldn't be different. We all are human beings, regardless if you're a woman or a man. And girls do talk about sex too, maybe not in front of guys. To be honest, I don't see why it should be so dramatic to talk about sex with a guy as everybody say." **_Freckles answered quietly. _**"I mean, sex is something natural and we shouldn't be ashamed of it. I don't know... I think everybody talks about sex as if it was a dirty word and a sin. I just don't think like that. Sex is like the proof of love that a couple has; and sometimes some human beings have sex only for pleasure, and it isn't bad either. I just don't know; I could talk about it for a long time and give you my explanation, but I don't want to bug you."**_

_**"Yeah, I understand. And you won't bug me."**_ I replied feeling amazed because of her maturity. I was honestly speechless, so I didn't know what to say.

_**"Okay."**_ She said giggling softly. _**"Maybe someday we could go for a coffee and talk about sex and whatever, but right now I'm starting to feel cold."**_ She said and I nodded, feeling a sudden happiness when she mentioned that thing of going for a coffee together. _**"So now that your boner has disappeared, maybe we could come back to the camp." **_She said laughing and I laughed along with her.

_**"Yeah, we could. The guys must be worried. I mean, it's getting dark and they don't have a fucking idea of where we are since last night."**_ I said when I realized that maybe we screwed their weekend because of being looking for us.

_**"Oh yes, right!"**_ Freckles exclaimed and she stood up.

I tried to stand up but it was really hard with the handcuffs. In my attempt to stand up, doing weird movements, I tangled with my own legs and fell on the ground. When I looked up surreptitiously to check if Freckles saw my awkward and clumsy attempt to stand up, that I wished she didn't, she was looking at me with an amused smirk. Oh cool! She always had to catch me in my most awkward situations. Anyway, she didn't say anything; she only walked to me and took me by my armpits to help me stand up.

_**"Thank you."**_ I said when I was already standing. _**"I really need to get rid of these handcuffs."**_

_**"Yes, you need. But I don't know how, though."**_ Freckles said frowning.

_**"It doesn't matter. I guess in the camp we'll find something to do it."**_ I sighed.

I was thinking that I was going to have to walk through the forest with the handcuffs and it was going to be hard because of the branches I had to dodge. But fortunately, after walking a while and after tripping over some branches, Freckles noticed that it was hard for me, so she took me by the arm and helped me to walk. On our way to the camp, we talked about random things, I was actually having a fluent conversation with her and that felt good. She was very nice and funny and she had a sense of humor that I adored; she was actually very talkative, not as much as me, but she was this sassy and outgoing person; it was extraordinary. After a long walk, it was already dark and we could see the light of a campfire; from our camp. Oh geez, luckily I was right on the way!

_**"It seems we've arrived."**_ Freckles said joyfully when she also saw that.

_**"Thanks to the wizard god."**_ I said giggling softly.

_**"Do you think we should scare them?"**_ Freckles asked with a mischievous smile.

_**"Oh trust me; we won't need to do anything to scare them." **_

_**"What do you mean?"**_ She asked curiously.

_**"Look at us, we're a mess."**_ I said raising my eyebrows and smirking amused.

_**"You have a point there."**_ She said laughing softly.

So we finally arrived to the camp. Everybody was sitting around the campfire and they seemed to be tired. Could they have been looking for us all this time? I wished it wasn't like that; otherwise I was going to feel really guilty. So, as soon as Freckles and I walked towards the campfire and they heard our steps coming closer, they all looked at our direction. And they all looked at the same way. Oh damn. Yes; at first, they looked at us kind of relieved to have seen us; then they looked at us kind of upset surely because they noticed we were fine all this time and we didn't let them know that; and finally they looked at us suspiciously and puzzled. Of course, the last they saw was me and Freckles having a dispute through songs; then they saw how I ran to look for Freckles when I heard her scream in the middle of the night; and they were now looking at us half-naked, dirty and still a bit wet, and my hands handcuffed. Who wouldn't suspect something? And I knew them, they were thinking something that it wasn't; they surely were thinking that I got laid with Freckles or something related to sex. And I totally noticed how all the guys looked all over Freckles' body, like drooling. And I was totally sure that they weren't going to believe our explanation because it actually sounded ridiculous; it was ridiculous all that happened to us.

_**"What the hell, guys?"**_ Joey asked still perplexed. He was the first to talk.

_**"Why are you naked?"**_ Lauren asked.

_**"And why are you dirty?"**_ Jaime asked.

_**"And wet?"**_ Brian Holden asked suspiciously.

_**"Some people have been partying hard."**_ Joe Moses exclaimed amused.

_**"Have you had sex and haven't invited us to the party?"**_ Joe Walker asked with a mischievous smile.

_**"I thought you were only high school classmates."**_ Meredith said frowning and thoughtful.

_**"Where have you been all this time?"**_ Julia asked concerned.

_**"You're sexy, girl."**_ Dylan said almost in a whisper.

Geez! So many questions, all at the same time! I should've expected this, but I never thought it could be this awkward. Freckles, next to me, was smirking amused as she was looking at everybody still asking questions. Why was she so amused? I wouldn't answer all of those things.

_**"Darren, why are you hiding your hands behind your back?"**_ Bonnie suddenly asked frowning. I just turned around to answer the question, so they were going to see my handcuffs.

_**"Oh well, well, that is interesting. So you both were into role-plays while having sex. The slave and the enslaver. So interesting that Darren is the slave and Freckles the enslaver."**_ Joe Walker said laughing, obviously mocking.

_**"What can I say? I like to have the control."**_ Freckles said giggling amused and I looked at her astonished.

Like, what? She shouldn't have said that, my friends were going to believe that we actually had sex and that never happened; yes, it almost happened in my fantasy but not in real life. When she noticed I was looking at her astonished, she only smirked and shrugged.

_**"So what are you now? A lovely couple or just fuck buddies?"**_ Joe Moses asked amused.

_**"I don't know... What do you say, Darren?" **_Freckles asked looking at me amused while running her fingers through my curls. Oh damn, why was she doing that?

_**"You're playing dirty, you know?"**_ I whispered so nobody except Freckles was going to hear. _**"And if you play dirty, I'll play dirty." **_

_**"Oh yeah? How?"**_ She also whispered so only I could hear that. She was looking at me mischievously and still smirking amused.

_**"Let me show you..."**_ I whispered also looking at her mischievously. I couldn't use my arms, so I moved closer to her and I leaned my head. _**"I don't know..."**_ I said loudly so now everybody could hear us. _**"Let me check that..."**_ I said loudly again and I quickly pulled her into a fierce kiss.

I knew I shouldn't have done that because I didn't want to screw anything. But... She was playing dirty, so I was going to do the same. Besides that, I really wanted to kiss her again. At first, Freckles was surprised and she didn't kiss me back. But then, she placed one hand on the nape of my neck and the other hand on my head and she was the one who deepened the kiss. And this was real life. She was actually doing it. Everybody was silent, surely looking at us bewildered; but I couldn't see them because I had my eyes closed. However, the kiss didn't last so much. She broke the kiss and moved her head away. She looked into my eyes but didn't say anything; then she looked at my friends as I was still looking at her lips. Man, I loved her kisses and I couldn't stand the idea of not kissing her anymore.

_**"We're friends."**_ Freckles said loudly as I was still staring her lips like a fool.

_**"Fuck buddies, then?"**_ Lauren asked.

_**"No. Just friends; nothing more."**_ Freckles replied.

Of course she was going to say that. Right after Freckles answered that, I looked away and, without even wanting that, I saw Joey and Julia. They were looking at me fixedly, frowning, concerned and confused. I looked away again, trying not to think that maybe I screwed it. I just looked away while Freckles' words were still echoing in my mind: 'Just friends; nothing more.'


	39. Bad day

A/N: Hello everybody! Who's feeling totally awesome? Red Vines to all of you who feel like this! Who's feeling in a rage? Just fuck the tie and sing a song for a dragon! Who's feeling uncool? Just remember that you'll always be cool, because cool doesn't come from other people, it comes from you. Who's feeling as though the world sucks? Just dance, always dance! Alright, this was my introduction today. Now back to this story... Let's see, what can I say? Drama took over my body again, that bitch wouldn't let me be so sweet and cute for so long... Now this is the part when things get more complicated and everything is like a struggle; this is gonna last for few chapters and maybe new things will happen. From now on, things definitely will get more complicated and maybe a bit messy. I won't spoil you anything, though, so maybe I should shut up... Yeah, I think that would be the best. So, I'll start answering your always appreciated reviews!

Vcriss: Oh! Freckles is maybe a total bitch right now. I'm pretty sure that sometimes you'll loathe her and sometimes you'll like her; same will happen about Darren. After all, when human beings feel insecure or confused tend to act in weird ways; sometimes you'll understand them, sometimes not. I think everything is messy; the way I wrote the next chapters maybe it's messy. Oh yeah, about my sister, she felt really bad for years, it was really hard for her; but now she and that guy are best friends and my sister even has a little beautiful daughter with the man she married. And yes! When I saw the episodes about Tina and Blaine, I totally thought about my sister; only that my sister couldn't overcome it so quickly! If Blaine went to my school when I was younger, I'd be the stalker Tina; yes, for sure. I don't find it annoying, what you said. The thing is that I've already written a lot of chapters, I'm currently about to start writing chapter 56, because I know that later I won't have time to write and I want to keep posting weekly. But... What I can do now, if you want, I can update the next chapter on Wednesday. I can make an exception and do it! What do you think?

MeMi83: If you ask my opinion (forget I'm the writer) I think that yes, Freckles acted really tough on Darren; but there must be a reason of why she acted like that... I think she claims to be very self-confident and self-contained, but maybe she's not so like that, maybe she wants to convince herself that she's like that when she's around people. That's only my opinion, not as the writer! I wrote something different, maybe. Oh! I think it'll pretty hard for them to figure out what they really want and what they really are. The bad/good person will switch out a lot of times; sometimes Freckles would act wrongly, and sometimes Darren would be the one acting wrongly; and maybe more characters will be involved. I needed to add action! There were so many chapters in which action didn't appear and I missed it. Now, again, there won't be much action because the story is gonna focus on other things. Thank you very much, Memi! Now I wish you enjoy, as you can, this new chapter! Lots of butterfly kisses and bear hugs!

alicegursk: Ah, my dear wife! Freckles is weird, isn't she? Well yeah, I think she became a flirty person; she likes to flirt and maybe that's part of her new personality; maybe it's a way to keep distance with people and not get too involved, maybe... And maybe she still has feelings for Darren; I think in this chapter you'll figure it out, or not... And maybe Darren will change too... Uh, it's gonna get complicated. Oh, the sexual fantasy! The guy has got imagination! I wanted to make it funny, though. I wasn't sure about that part in the chapter, but then I said, why not? Guys tend to be like that, after all. It's really hard to write from the point of view of a guy, because, I'm not one; makes sense? Trust me, I'll be super honored to be your guide tour, since I love doing all of that stuff, I'm gonna make you walk a lot! You're warned! haha. It's snowing in spring! Now I get why you're so mad... Spring is like the time for flowers, butterflies, rabbits and rainbows! Oh, maybe that happens only in fantasies. It should be real, though! But hey, ask Darren if you can cuddle with him because you're cold! Maybe he'll accept!

AnSofiekeeeh: Geez, you live in Belgium! Such a wonderful place! It's like a very historic country, isn't it? With a lot of Romanesque, Gothic, Renaissance and Baroque architecture, right? And Brussels must be a fantastic city! Ah! I just love Europe. Now, back to this; don't worry that you didn't review! I really hope you had amazing vacation! I bet you did; after all, those were vacation! Thank you a lot, An-Sofie, for your very sweet words! They really made me smile like a goofball! I wish that this story can keep being interesting to you and I hope it can keep growing on you! And I hope I can keep posting weekly, so I won't break your new routine!

Guest: Oh, Yann Tiersen! I particularly love the soundtrack he composed for Amélie! It's fantastic! Besides, I really like that movie. Someday (I hope) I'll go to Austria and I'll see all of those landscapes and small cities with my own eyes, it'd be like a dream! hahaha it really made me laugh when you wrote that about Freckles in that sarcastic way! Yes, Freckles is acting weird! Maybe she's confused and doesn't want to admit it! Let's see for how long she'll keep lying to herself that they're only 'strangers'. I wanted to show Darren's 'weakness' (I don't know how to call it) about Freckles. I wasn't sure about writing the sexual fantasy; but then I thought Darren is a young guy, and young guys tend to have those kinds of fantasies. I know this because I was a guy in my past life. Okay, no... My male friends confessed me some things, so I know some things about that. And ahh! I don't know what inspired me to write about Darren saving Freckles and helping her to learn to swim; I guess I wanted to write something cute; it was simple, maybe a small gesture, but it was cute, I think. Now that you mention it... Maybe I wrote this chapter when Kurt and Blaine said they were only friends, I can't remember; but you're right! Let's see what happens from now on!

Nicole: Definitely California is in my list to places to visit; I don't know why, but I feel very attracted to know the cities in California; maybe it's the architecture combined with the culture and geography. And I completely understand what you meant about the city life because it happens to me too! The drama had to come back at some point, right? And the cliffhangers! You have no idea how much I missed and miss them! They're not as tough as the first part of the story, but there are few cliffhangers. Yes, about Darren's new solo album, I really hope I can buy it here, one way or another I need to get it! Looks like this is where our adventure ends Dora... I mean, Nicole! Sending you a lot of hugs and butterfly kisses! Goodnight Dragon... I mean Nicole! Nicole!

Vicky: Oh yes! Darren will never disappoint me; not even if he sings about his poop, I don't care; he is and will always be a talented songwriter and singer! I just love his songs and his mellow and sexy voice; I always smile when I hear him singing and I laugh when I see all of his 'Oh, so many feelings' faces while singing; I adore them. Are you from Greece? Oh my wizard god! Ahhh! As an architecture student, Greece is like one of the most awesome places to me. I mean, I studied the Greek architecture; especially Athens and particularly the acropolis, with the Parthenon and Greek temples; besides, of course, the Agora and the Greek theaters. They're very important in the field of architecture, politics, philosophy, and mathematics. I'll stop freaking out... But you have the Mediterranean Sea! Oh man! Has your sister started reading this story? Tell her that it's not a problem if she doesn't want to review as long as she can enjoy the story! I hope she will! Now you'll be able to talk about it with her! Or not! I wish you and your sister a super amazing weekend!

Ginny Zoey: Ginny, you're back! I completely understand the reasons of why you stopped reading, everything is more than fine! For what you said, it was really hard, but think that you held onto your purpose and now you can keep reading! Well, you asked if Freckles was still virgin, I guess you got that answer after reading the other chapters! And Darren has a fuck buddy, or he had; you'll see! He needed to move on, somehow; maybe things will change now that Freckles appeared. Yes, Freckles has changed a lot, and in some aspects she has changed for better; it was about time for her to start being more confident and charismatic, she was very insecure in high school and that wasn't so good. But let's see to what point she's so self-confident and so self-contained; let's see if she reaches the point of hurting people by being so like this or not... This is the time that both Darren and Freckles are trying to consolidate a personality, but they're still in the progress; things could change! I'm really glad you kept reading this story, Ginny!

Mockingjay-Potterhead-9: I think I've told you this already, but I admire you can ski; if I ever get the chance to go skiing, I'd end up in hospital, if I don't die first. I'm really stupid when it comes to winter sports, since I don't have snow here, sadly! I completely loved your idea about bringing our unicorns together! I pictured the babies unicorns and I totally want it! She wants to be called your majesty? Maybe because she wants to feel like one, so maybe that way she'll win the heart of a unicorn! I'll tell my unicorn to stop acting in a goofy way to start acting as a bourgeois, so he'll be on your unicorn's level! Wouldn't it be nice if they fall in love? Unicorn love! Aw! About the books... If you like suspense and intrigue, I could recommend you The Analyst by John Katzenbach; The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown (it's way better than the movie; that book inspired me to write cliffhangers); The Turn of the Screw by Henry James (this is more like a fiction); And Then There Were None by Agatha Christie; or any book by Edgar Allan Poe; and of course the books of Sherlock Holmes by Conan Doyle. Then you have other kinds of books like Little Women by Louisa M. Alcott; Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen; The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde; One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez; Blindness by Saramago; The Sun Also Rises by Ernest Hemingway; and lot more. My favorite book is probably (it's hard to choose!) Hopscotch by Julio Cortázar (it is very hard to read, maybe) and another of my favorite writers is Mario Benedetti; my first language is spanish, so that explains the names! What is yours? Well, I can't think about more books, but if I remember another, I'll let you know! For now, you have few! It's amazing to read books!

Guest (I know you are GleeKof1!): I can't help it! I missed the cliffhangers! But it wasn't as terrible as the ones I wrote in the high school part! You read all of the chapters in one day? Oh my god! Well, what can I say? I'm very impressed and there you have me now, smiling like a fool! Really, your words made me (and are making me) smile! I'm super happy to know that you kept reading, and reading, and reading! Now I really wish I can keep you interested on this story! Sometimes I feel like I don't like some things I write because I think it's boring, but then you say something like this and it encourages me to keep writing! Thank you a lot for that! Now I'm about to start writing chapter 56 (I'm being lazy lately, I write one chapter in two weeks); so they aren't so long, but I'll try to write longer chapters! But I won't promise anything about not writing cliffhangers, I love them! I'm a cruel person! haha. Okay, now, really thank you very much for all you said! I hope you can keep enjoying this story, and if someday you don't like it, you're allowed to curse me and kick my ass, okay? That could be our deal!

Okay guys, that was all for today! Maybe I'll update a new chapter on Wednesday! Now I'll let you read this new chapter and… Let the drama begins again! I hope you can enjoy it despite everything! Until next week! Sending you a lot of virtual candies and psychological hugs!

* * *

**Teenage Dream – Chapter 39 – Bad day.**

* * *

_**"I made coffee for you."**_ Meredith said when you woke up.

You looked at the table with sleepy eyes. She was sitting with some books and a cup of coffee on her hands; and in front of her, there was another cup of coffee, right next to your books of Digital Photography.

_**"Thank you. I see you also left my books of Digital Photography there. Was that on purpose?" **_You asked giggling as you sat on the table, grabbing your cup of coffee.

_**"Kind of."**_ Meredith answered shrugging and smiling. _**"Listen, only because you don't like that course, doesn't mean that you have to find lame excuses all the time avoid reading that book."**_

_**"You just sounded like my mom." **_You answered frowning but amused as Meredith laughed. _**"I just don't get why I have to do that course. I mean, I'm studying Interarts Performance; and Digital Photography has nothing to do with Arts and Design or Theatre and Drama." **_

_**"Actually, you're wrong. Oh god, I can't believe you're finally wrong about something! This feels good, sorry." **_She exclaimed almost exaggeratedly and that made you laugh. _**"Okay, what I was going to say now. Digital Photography is another way of art and also it helps a lot for your courses of Theatre and Drama. You should give it a chance; I think that's a cool course." **_

_**"Do you want to go to that course for me? I could replace you in your course if you make me this favor." **_You replied amused, even knowing that maybe she was right.

_**"No way, the course I have to go right now is one of the best. Sorry."**_ Meredith answered amused while taking a sip of her coffee.

_**"Hmm, mean."**_ You said frowning, also taking a sip of your coffee, now opening the book.

_**"I'm just as mean as you deserve for avoiding the question I've been asking you all this time."**_ Meredith said.

_**"What question?"**_ You asked confused.

_**"You know what question. Were you and Darren only friends in high school?" **_Meredith asked and you remembered. Oh, you really shouldn't have asked her that.

_**"Damn, Meredith, I told you. We were just friends." **_You replied sighing.

_**"Yes, that is exactly what you've been answering me all this time and then you change the topic and refuse to talk about it. You know what is funny? At first you said that you and he were only classmates, and now you're saying that you were friends. It's like you answer changes all the time."**_ Meredith said suspiciously. _**"And you don't act as if you were only friends. You can't fool me; I know there's something else."**_

_**"There's nothing else. Call it classmates, friends; it's all the same." **_You answered trying to think about something to change the topic of conversation.

_**"Why won't you tell me? You make feel as if I were stupid or if I weren't a trustworthy person."**_ She said offended, but surely she was pretending it.

_**"You know it's not like that. If I don't tell you anything is because there's nothing to say."**_ You said trying to seem quiet.

_**"I can't believe you're lying to me!"**_ She exclaimed loudly, looking at you with eyes wide open and raising her eyebrows.

_**"What?"**_ You asked jittery. You were never good at lying.

_**"See? You're lying."**_ Meredith pointed and you sighed, giving up.

_**"Okay, I give up."**_ You said now looking at her.

_**"So, are you gonna tell me if Darren and you were more than friends in high school?" **_She asked excited and curious.

_**"Yes, I'll tell you our real story. But not now because it's a long story and right now I gotta go to that course." **_You said standing up with your coffee, pretending to be in a hurry.

_**"What?" **_Meredith exclaimed in disbelief, a bit disappointed. _**"Come on, you have time. You know why? Because I've delayed the time of your clock. Actually it's not 7am; it's 6am, so we have time."**_ Meredith said now smirking mischievously.

_**"You did what? I can't believe you did it, you sneaky devil!"**_ You exclaimed astonished and a bit amused. You needed to admit that was witty. _**"All right."**_ You said sighing and sitting on your chair again with your coffee. _**"No, Darren and I weren't just friends in high school."**_

"_**I knew it!"**_ Meredith exclaimed victoriously.

So yes, you started explaining your story since the beginning. She deserved to know, after all. She was Darren's friend and she was always nice to you, and it was unfair if you keep lying to her, because that didn't feel right. Meredith was listening to you very intently, after you made her promise she wasn't going to tell anybody this, unless Darren decided to tell it to people. At first she was very surprised and she couldn't believe you were a shy and lonely and sad girl in high school; of course, you were different now. But she believed you at the end. You told her that you always had a crush on Darren since your Sophomore year but he didn't even know you existed. Then you told her the way you met and how you became friends. Until that moment everything was fine, but now it was time to explain her the things that happened with W and all the things Karen has done to screw your Junior year; and you needed to explain her that because that was an important part of the story that explained why Darren and you weren't just friends in high school.

_**"So, you see, everything seemed to be fine. Until someone started bullying us and we didn't know who the bully was."**_ You said and Meredith looked at you puzzled.

_**"Have you guys been bullied in high school? Darren never mentioned it."**_ Meredith said frowning and apparently concerned.

_**"Yes, we've been bullied. The bully's name and identity was unknown, we only received threats from W."**_ You said abstracted, looking at you cup of coffee, deep in thought.

It's been a year since the last time you thought about W, since the last time you talked about it. And it was awful to bring her up again. You tried to erase those memories from your mind; but W was always there, hidden in your mind. Now it felt as if you had to relive those moments you wanted to forget. But you did, and you started explaining Meredith all the things that Karen has done to you and how Darren was there for you always, supporting you and taking care of you. And that was when the crush on him turned into love. And you explained her that Darren, after a long time, admitted that he loved you back just in the same way. You told her all the wonderful things Darren told you when he admitted his real feelings. You, somehow, felt his love again. Damn, that was true love for you; you never felt that way never again.

_**"Did Darren really say all of those things?" **_Meredith asked amused, but she was also squealing as if she was like fangirling. She seemed to be very excited and entertained.

_**"Yes, he did."**_ You answered smiling warmly while still remembering that moment.

_**"Look at him! I'm surprised! I'd have never imagined that Darren could be such a cute and sensitive guy." **_Meredith admitted surprised, raising her eyebrows and you chuckled softly.

_**"Yes, he was. He was lovely."**_ You said smiling softly, still deep in thought.

So then you started explaining her how your relationship with Darren was when you were a couple: all the things you used to do and say, all the silly and sweet things, all the adventures and support; everything. It was feeling good to tell somebody your whole story with Darren; you never explained it to anybody. Only Brian knew it; besides, of course, Darren, Jen, Darren's family and your family; but only because they witnessed your love. Meredith was looking at you as if she were reading a romantic book or watching a romantic movie. You explained her when Darren and you parted when he thought you were W; then you explained your reconciliation and how you were fine again. You realized there was a lot of drama in your love story, but it was a good one. Yes, you remembered how much you loved him and why you loved him that much. Darren was you best lover and you were aware of that. Again, you were deep in thought, remembering with joy all of those moments.

_**"I don't understand. What happened with you guys? I mean, you were like the perfect couple, like a couple of a romantic movie."**_ Meredith said confused and you looked up at her. Now a feeling of distress took over your entire body when you remembered that night in the hotel room.

_**"Everything went to hell, one night in a hotel room, after Prom." **_You said gloomy, looking at your cup of cold coffee.

You explained her that by that time you were virgin and so was he. And that night was going to be your first time, but you couldn't make it. You told her that Darren understood and told you a bunch of sweet things to reassure you, he told you it was alright.

_**"But next morning, I woke up and he wasn't there anymore. He was gone. He only left a note."**_ You said raising an eyebrow feeling bad now.

You told her what the note said; you remembered perfectly all the words. Meredith was looking at you very confused and puzzled, as you were feeling really distressed.

_**"I didn't see him again since that time; until I saw him again this year, when you invited him and Joey to come over here."**_ You said sighing.

_**"I can't believe Darren did that."**_ Meredith said frowning, apparently feeling disgusted. _**"I mean, Darren is not a bad guy; I can't believe he did something like that. That's outrageous."**_

_**"Yes..."**_ You whispered sorrowful. _**"And we never talked again, that's why I've been acting weird with him and that is why he's been doing the same."**_

_**"Now I get it all."**_ Meredith said thoughtful. _**"But... I just don't understand. I mean, if I were you, I'd never talk to him again. It was atrocious what he did. So, why do you keep talking to him?"**_

_**"Because I forgot him; it was as if I didn't know who he was, as if he was just a stranger; and I'm nice with people I don't know. I've changed and so has he."**_ You replied sincerely. _**"We never talked about this until that day we went to Munising. That is why we didn't come back to the camp, we needed time for us."**_

_**"Yes, I understand. And how was that talk? I mean, you know, when you came back, you kissed as if nothing ever has happened." **_Meredith asked curious and you looked down frowning. You were still confused for all that happened those two days.

_**"We talked and he told me that Jim threatened him and forced him to write that note that night in the hotel room. He told me he never stopped looking for me. He told me he was sorry and he never regretted something so much. He told me he never stopped loving me."**_ You said sadly, still looking down.

_**"I knew it! Darren is really a good person; he could have never done something like that intentionally."**_ Meredith exclaimed. _**"So? What happened then? I mean, you now know that he didn't want to do it; and your love seemed to be very strong. Why aren't you together again?"**_

_**"It's complicated, Meredith."**_ You replied sighing. _**"First of all, and I'm so sorry, but I can't fully believe what Darren confessed. I've been betrayed so many times and I just can't believe it."**_

_**"So, do you still think that Darren really wanted to leave you?" **_

_**"Kind of. I don't know."**_ You answered in all honesty. _**"But in any case, even if he's telling the truth; I won't come back with him. I don't love him anymore; he's only part of my past. Besides, neither of us are the teenagers we were. We're different now, our personalities are different, and everything is different. So I'd rather to remember him as my first love than to be a couple again. I just don't love him."**_

_**"That's sad. I mean, I understand. But it's sad because you look cute together. And it's such a shame that a love like the one you had is now left behind. But I fully understand you."**_ Meredith said frankly. _**"So what are you gonna do with him now?"**_

_**"Just give him a second chance. He apologized and I forgave him; so he deserves a second chance. Only to be friends, nothing more than that. He seems to be a nice guy, so yeah, why not?"**_ You answered shrugging.

_**"But, don't you have any feelings for him? Not even a bit?" **_Meredith asked curious, and also as if she was expecting to hear a yes; so you chuckled.

_**"No. I don't have any feelings for him, not even a bit."**_ You answered with a slight smile, amused when you saw Meredith's face of frustration. _**"I restored my life without him. He's just... Darren Criss, my first love and just a guy that is part of my past. For that I won't forget him, but that doesn't mean that I still feel something for him. He's just someone I used to know."**_

_**"Okay, I get it. But if you had the chance to come back...?"**_

_**"No, Meredith. I'll never come back with him, not as lovers."**_ You replied roundly, interrupting her.

_**"Okay, I was just checking."**_ She said sighing and you laughed. _**"Thank you Freckles, for telling me."**_

_**"That's okay. Thank you for listening. And remember..."**_

_**"I won't tell anybody, don't worry."**_ She interrupted you and you nodded.

_**"Okay, now I really have to go to that stupid Digital Photography course. Wish me luck!"**_ You said standing up and grabbing your bag.

_**"Good luck! Do not get too bored!"**_ Meredith said smiling cheerfully and a bit amused.

It was already 8am and you were late for your first course. You wondered why you had to arrive always so late. When you got out your room, you cursed. It wasn't a pretty good day; it was warm, yeah, but you could see that a storm was coming and sooner or later it was going to rain and you didn't bring an umbrella. But you didn't have the time to come back for it; you needed to arrive at that course. You practically ran to the Penny W. Stamps building and then to the classroom. Of course you were late, but the professor didn't seem to mind, so you just sat on the first empty seat you saw.

_**"Alright, for those who arrived late..."**_ The professor said looking at you and another girl near you. _**"I was saying that this is Digital Photography. This course introduces students to the technical and aesthetic components of digital photography, considering it as a fine art medium. The objective of this course is to pursue basic knowledge of scanning and image input, basic knowledge of image retouching and refining, and an understanding of image output and the printing process, including the use and roles of professional service bureaus for output in a professional context. It should be noted that this photography course is an art course: it does not address itself to vocational skills and results. Students will be evaluated upon achievement of technical and aesthetic excellence rather than personal improvement, strength of effort, or excessive quantity. Individual creativity, visual problem solving and precise craftsmanship will be stressed."**_ The professor said serious. He seemed to be very rigid, but nice at the same time; it was weird. Maybe it was because he was a young professor and wanted to do his best. _**"For this, you all will need a digital camera, preferably a Nikon D600. If you read the requirements of this course, you surely brought the camera today; because we're gonna start right now. Is there somebody that doesn't have a camera?"**_ He asked and you felt very embarrassed when you had to raise a hand. Shit, you forgot to read it and apparently you were the only one who didn't bring the camera. You didn't even have a digital camera. _**"Is that because you can't afford a digital camera?"**_ The professor asked looking at you and you blushed in embarrassment.

_**"Yes, it's because of that."**_ You lied, answering shyly.

_**"Okay, the school of Art and Design offer the instruments that the students cannot afford, to complete their studies. So I'll give you one of the digital cameras that belong to the University of Michigan."**_ The professor said politely but in academic terms.

_**"Okay, thank you."**_ You said shyly, still blushing and the professor nodded. Hey, your professor actually was handsome. What were you thinking? Dammit.

_**"So..."**_ The professor said, now looking at the whole class. _**"Now you'll take photographs and the special emphasis will be placed on how color functions both on a technical as well as an emotional level, including: how the color temperatures of various light sources are perceived by digital cameras, how color shifts created by those various light sources translate into the visual image, and how those color shifts can impact emotional connections between image and viewer. This is not a technical workshop; you will be expected to be pursuing your own artistic, aesthetic and conceptual concerns within the medium of photography. The conceptual development of your own artistic vision and voice is another special emphasis of the class, particularly in regards to learning how to create imagery that functions as a visual series. Assignments should be cohesive bodies of work revolving around a specific theme and concept of your choice. An emphasis on writing about your artwork will also be stressed in this class, most directly in terms of producing artist statements examining the thought processes involved in your work." **_The professor explained and the whole class seemed to be excited; but you just couldn't. You didn't like this. _**"So, I want you all to go outside and take photographs to start exploring the colors, the lights and the perspectives; remember they must be significant photos that can express an emotion. And for next week, as an assignment, I want you to bring here the photography of the topic you chose with writing about it, and we'll start a debate." **_He said talking to the whole class. _**"Is there any doubt?"**_ He asked and no one answered. _**"Okay, then. I want you all to go outside now and start exploring. We'll meet here in an hour."**_

Everybody took their bags and digital cameras and stood up to go outside and start doing that shit the professor said. They truly seemed to be excited and you couldn't understand why. For you it was boring and no matter what the professor said, photography wasn't art. But you took your bag and stood up, but remained there. You didn't have the camera. The professor was giving you his back because he was writing something in a notebook. You couldn't help it but staring his butt, he had a good one. Oh damn, what were you doing? The professor finally turned around and looked at you.

_**"Oh right, the camera."**_ He said and you nodded silently, still feeling ashamed for being observing his butt.

He walked to the back of the classroom, opened a cabinet and pulled out a digital camera. Then he walked to you again, in silence. When he stood up you couldn't stop looking into his eyes. He had beautiful amber colored eyes. He smiled politely, handing you the camera; but you just looked at his smile, he was really handsome.

_**"Here's the camera."**_ The professor said when he noticed you weren't taking it, so you felt ashamed again.

_**"Thank you." **_You said shyly, taking the camera. Wow, you couldn't remember the last time you felt so shy with someone.

_**"You're very welcome. You can keep it until you get your own camera. And if you ever need any other kind of help, just let me know." **_The professor said politely. He was truly handsome and his voice was sexy. _**"Well, now you can go and take photos. Good luck."**_ He said but you remained there, looking at him; you were dazzled. He noticed this, so he frowned. _**"Is there something else I can do for you?"**_

_**"Umm...Umm..."**_ You babbled nervously when you noticed how stupid you were for being looking at him like a fool. And the worst was that he noticed it. _**"I just don't know your name, professor."**_ You said looking down, ashamed.

_**"I'm Professor Luke Adams."**_ He said politely and you nodded.

_**"Alright, Professor Adams; thank you very much."**_ You said politely, looking at that man.

_**"Very welcome. Now you can go if you don't have any other question."**_ He said.

_**"No, that was it all."**_ You replied and then you turned around with the camera and your bag.

When you were already leaving the classroom, something popped in your mind. Adams. His last name was Adams. That couldn't be possible, no way. You started feeling really weird and suspicious. You turned around again and looked at the professor and you walked to him again. He was writing something in his notebook again. You knew it was going to be disrespectful, but you just needed to know.

_**"I'm sorry, Mr. Adams."**_ You said and the professor looked at you abruptly with his amber eyes. _**"I don't wanna be disrespectful, but I have a doubt." **_

_**"Yes?"**_ He asked frowning, waiting for your question.

_**"Are you a relative of Jim Adams?"**_ You asked really curious and the professor looked at you raising his eyebrows and apparently a bit displeased.

_**"I'm sorry, miss, you can ask about everything related to this course, but I won't answer personal questions. It's inappropriate." **_He said severely and firmly and you felt really embarrassed.

_**"I'm so sorry, Mr. Adams. It won't happen again."**_ You said apologetically.

_**"I hope so. Now you can leave if you don't have a question related to this course."**_ The professor said firmly.

_**"No, I don't have. I'm sorry again, Mr. Adams." **_You said apologetically again before you turned around to leave the classroom as fast as you could.

You walked to nowhere in particular, deep in thought. No, that was impossible. Which were the chances that your professor could be a relative of Jim? Come on, Adams was a common surname. But anyway, his last name reminded you to Jim and that was a bad thing. And it happened after you talked to Meredith about your story. You just wanted to forget that past, but it seemed that lately everything reminded you to it and you didn't want it. You were fine until you arrived at University of Michigan. You walked outside and you realized it was raining now. Damn, this couldn't get even worse.

_**"I do have an umbrella. We can share it if you want."**_ A boy's voice said and you turned to look at him.

It was the same guy of the coffee shop. What was his name? Think, it was related to a movie. The Notebook. Right, it was Noah. What was he doing there? How did he find you? And why was he looking so good? His ice blue eyes were simply breathtaking. But, was he a stalker or something?

_**"No, thank you."**_ You answered curtly, looking away and frowning.

_**"Okay. I wouldn't want to bug you. It was nice to meet you again, though."**_ The guy said friendly and you looked at him again. He smiled at you and he nodded his face before he turned around to leave.

_**"Wait!"**_ You said when he was starting to walk away. You shouldn't do this, but you really needed an umbrella. The guy turned around abruptly to look at you.

_**"Yeah?"**_ He asked and you noticed he also had a digital camera on his hands. Could he be your classmate? Quite a coincidence.

_**"I... Well, I think..."**_ You stammered like an idiot.

_**"Don't say anything."**_ The boy said smiling brightly. Geez, his teeth were so white and perfect. _**"You changed your mind and you need an umbrella."**_

_**"Actually, yeah..."**_ You answered, looking down.

_**"Okay, no problem."**_ He said smiling kindly and now walking to you again. _**"Come here, so you won't get wet while doing what the professor said." **_

_**"Sorry, are you my classmate?" **_You asked intrigued and the guy laughed jovially. His laughter was also kind of sexy.

_**"Yes, I am. Actually, I think I'll be your classmate in all of your courses. Are you also in the Interarts Performance program?"**_ He asked and you looked at him frowning slightly.

_**"Yes, I am. How do you know it?"**_ You asked suspiciously.

_**"Oh well, you're in the same courses than me; so you are for sure in that program too."**_ He answered smiling and shrugging. You kept looking at him suspiciously and he laughed. _**"Relax, I'm not a stalker. I know we didn't start in the best way, I don't even know if you remember me, but I was that guy of the coffee shop."**_

_**"Yes, Noah, right?"**_ You asked and he looked at you surprised then he smiled.

_**"Yes, that's right. I can't believe you remember my name, I feel flattered."**_ He said placing a hand in his heart and you couldn't help it but giggling. _**"Well, yeah, I was that guy. And I swear I'm nice and I do not have bad intentions. I only want to share this umbrella because it seems you need it; and I also want to talk to someone, because I don't know anyone here and you seem to be nice." **_He said friendly, still smiling. Well, maybe he was nice and you also didn't know anybody in your courses. Maybe you could talk to him.

_**"Alright, I trust you."**_ You replied, smiling friendly.

_**"Thank you! It was really depressing the fact that I didn't have anyone to talk to. So, what do you think if we start making that assignment that the professor gave us? Maybe if we do it quickly, we can go for a coffee to warm up; without compromise."**_ The guy said quickly, as if he was actually shy to ask you that.

_**"Yes, that would be cool." **_You answered with a soft smile.

Maybe this was going to be good. You really needed to make friends at college. And, after all, he seemed to be a nice guy, besides of being a handsome guy. So yeah, you were going to give it a chance.

* * *

_**"At what time is our first course today?"**_ I asked while reading my boring book of History of Theatre II, on the couch.

_**"Why do you always forget it, man?"**_ Joey asked in disbelief. _**"At 5pm, buddy."**_

_**"Oh great, we have all the morning free to read this shit! Cool."**_ I said bored.

_**"Either that or you can tell me what the hell is going on with your girl." **_Joey said in an insinuating way.

_**"My girl? As far as I know I don't have a girl."**_ I said raising an eyebrow, completely playing dumb.

_**"Well, you know, the girl that has you pussy whipped."**_ Joey joked, laughing.

_**"I don't know what you're..."**_

_**"Freckles, man! Freckles!"**_ He interrupted me, exasperated and then I laughed.

_**"Whoa, Joey! Cool it!"**_ I said laughing.

_**"You're getting on my nerves, Criss."**_ Joey exclaimed still exasperated. _**"Now you don't have options. You're forced to tell me what's going on with you and your girl, Freckles." **_

_**"Freckles is not my girl, Joey. Stop saying that."**_ I said serious now. _**"Nothing is going on."**_ I said sighing.

_**"Again, dude?"**_ Joey asked in disbelief. _**"Just talk, it's not like it's something you don't know how to do." **_

_**"Ha-ha, how funny!"**_ I said mockingly. _**"Really, nothing is going on. Absolutely nothing, if you know what I mean."**_

_**"Yeah, sure. You kissed each other in front of everybody, like a damn hell of kiss; and now nothing is going on."**_ Joey said ironically.

_**"Exactly."**_ I replied curtly.

_**"Screw that, bud." **_

_**"Listen, Joey... Since that time we haven't seen each other, okay? It's been more than a week and I still haven't talked to her. She's not interested, why should I?"**_ I said pretending to be indifferent.

_**"Have you called her?"**_

_**"I don't have her phone number."**_

_**"But you know where she lives." **_

_**"And?"**_ I asked raising an eyebrow. _**"She also knows where I live. Has she come here? No. So why would I go to her place?" **_

_**"Oh, maybe because you have feelings for her?" **_

_**"I do not have feelings for her. You know, I've talked to her when we were in Munising. We talked about... You know, the talk."**_ I said trying to get distracted with something to pretend I was indifferent. _**"We agreed we were going to start from the scratch. That's what I'm doing. She needs her space and I need mine; we're just... this kind of friends, but we aren't even friends."**_

_**"Wait a minute... Have you finally told her that the asshole that bullied you was the one who forced you to leave her?"**_ Joey asked, apparently a bit alarmed.

_**"Yeah..."**_

_**"And? Did she forgive you?"**_ He asked curious.

_**"Yes."**_ I replied curtly.

_**"And after that, aren't you together now?"**_ Joey asked confused.

_**"Isn't it pretty obvious? No, man, no."**_ I said now feeling really moody and then I sighed. _**"I think she didn't believe me, anyway." **_I said frowning. _**"Whatever. I promised her that we were going to start over again." **_

_**"And is that what you really want?" **_

_**"It doesn't matter if that is what I want or not. I promised her."**_

_**"Why have you promised her such a thing if that isn't what you want?" **_

_**"Because... Because I wanted to have with her one last night, you know, like... Yeah, like when she used to be my girlfriend; I needed it, to have her back at least for one night. So yeah, I promised that after that night we were going to start from scratch. It was the only way she agreed." **_I said frowning and a bit uncomfortable for saying this.

_**"Wait, so... Did you have sex with her?"**_ Joey asked stunned and really intrigued.

_**"What? No. No, I didn't have sex with her."**_ I answered looking away. _**"We just kissed and cuddled; you know... Argh, you know, it was an affectionate thing, not a sexual thing."**_ I replied uncomfortable. I really didn't want to sound cheesy. Joey laughed and I knew he was making fun of me.

_**"Why would you feel embarrassed for that? I also had a girlfriend. So I know that feeling, bro." **_He said still laughing so then I looked at him amused. _**"Anyway, I think that you've done a completely stupid thing when you promised her that." **_

_**"Whatever, man."**_ I said huffing. _**"I can't be all the time behind her like a stalker. I have a life!"**_

_**"Yeah, totally. A life in which you don't stop talking about her; you do it, you know? You're all the fucking time saying...Hey, did you know that Freckles was this or did that? Freckles said that thing; Freckles doesn't like; Freckles told me; Freckles is; and Freckles blah, blah, blah. Yeah, man. I even dream with your annoying voice saying her name." **_Joey said raising his eyebrows and I laughed. He was right at some point.

_**"I didn't know that my voice was annoying; but thank you, man." **_I said still laughing amused.

_**"Yeah, it is and so are your stupid promises."**_ He said. Damn, why was he so insistent?

_**"Joey, stop it. I'm not gonna change my mind, you know? It's fine like this. I'll just let things flow naturally; and if I ever get her back, then cool! If not, well, at least I'll have a friend." **_I said shrugging.

_**"So, that's it? You're gonna stay idly." **_

_**"That's it, yep."**_ I answered nodding.

_**"Totally lame jerk."**_ Joey exclaimed and I snickered.

_**"Whoa! Why the aggression?"**_ I asked amused.

_**"Sorry, I wasn't talking to you. I was talking to a total jerk that is acting like an awkward teen cause he just met a girl and he won't do a damn thing but drooling all over the girl. Without. Doing. A. Damn. Shit. About. It. Do you know who is he?"**_ Joey asked and I looked at him amused. Then I looked round and after that, I looked at him again.

_**"I don't know."**_ I said shrugging amused. Then I pretended to be surprised, as if I just found out something. _**"Oh!"**_ I exclaimed. _**"Did someone say Darren Criss?"**_ I asked and then I laughed.

_**"Well, at least you admit it."**_ Joey said raising an eyebrow.

_**"Yes, I admit it. But I want to take things slowly. And besides, who told you that I don't have a sneaky plan about this?"**_ I said now raising an eyebrow, looking at him mysteriously.

_**"I knew it, goddammit! I knew you were planning something, you sneaky motherfucker!"**_ Joey exclaimed excited and I laughed out loud. _**"What is your plan?"**_

_**"I'm not telling anybody my plans."**_ I said again mysteriously.

_**"Oh, come on, bro! You gotta tell me!"**_ Joey said eagerly.

_**"Nope." **_

_**"Come on!" **_

_**"Okay."**_ I agreed quickly, with an amused smile. _**"So I lied to you. Yeah, sorry for that. The point is that I still have feelings for her. Maybe it's only physical attraction because she's truly different than the way she used to be in high school. But at the same time is not only physical attraction, because to be honest, I liked way too much the way she is now. Okay, maybe I don't like everything, but I know that is only because I still don't know her fully. I know there's something else, something she's hiding..."**_ I said frowning, very thoughtful.

_**"Okay, yeah, now stop playing that you're Sherlock Holmes and just tell me what you have in mind."**_ Joey hurried me.

_**"Fine. After thinking and thinking over and over again..." **_

_**"No fucking way! You actually can think! Outstanding!"**_ Joey mocked me and I threw him my eraser while he was still laughing.

_**"Shut up, ass! As I was saying... After thinking for a long time and admitting the fact she doesn't have any other intention than being my friend... I came up with this little and harmless plan."**_ I said smiling proudly.

_**"Oh yeah, harmless."**_ Joey said raising an eyebrow and looking at me mischievously.

_**"Yes, harmless, Richter."**_ I assured firmly. _**"I'm going to pretend I'm not interested on her. I heard that women fall for those guys that ignore them. It's weird how girls behave and think, but I googled about this..."**_

_**"You googled about it."**_ Joey said looking at me really amused, making fun of me.

_**"I did, and whatever."**_ I exclaimed loudly. _**"So yeah, women are interested on guys that ignore them, not on those guys that are all the time behind them as a lapdog. So I thought that maybe if I ignore her but I'm nice while being with her, maybe she'd fall for me, as magically."**_

_**"Oh yeah, that's an excellent plan."**_ Joey said nodding and serious. I knew he was being ironic. _**"Chiefly because she doesn't give a damn shit what you're doing or not. Sorry for telling you the cold-hearted truth; but it's like that, man. As you said; she knows where you live and she never appeared here, she's not interested. You're not important to her as you used to be; you're just now someone else in her life at college. Sorry again for telling the cold-hearted truth, but I'm your buddy and it's my duty to tell you this. And she's a sexy lady and she's funny and nice; she's starting college, man! Like a whole new life. Do you think she's gonna wait for you? No, man. There are a lot of guys at college and I can assure that many of those guys are eager to get into her pants. And she's single and she wants to have fun, so she's free to get laid with those guys if she wants. And you still think that ignoring her will get you to be closer to her. Buddy, you had your experience at college last year and you know that in your first year at college all you want is to have fun, to attend crazy parties, to have wild nights of rock'n'roll, alcohol and sex. She's on that stage right now. So yeah, I don't think that ignoring her is the best solution and more considering how sexy she is; you know she could have any guy she wants." **_

_**"Ouch! That was tough."**_ I said looking at Joey frowning.

_**"Yeah, sorry buddy. But it's time for you to stop acting as a little kid scared of being near her. If you want her, just go and get her. But stop wasting your time by planning stupid things. Because that idea of ignoring her is accurately stupid. Sorry again, for the cold-hearted truth."**_ Joey said looking at me fixedly.

_**"Yeah, but you know? I just don't want to go and pressure her to be with me. And I don't want her for sex; I want her because I really like her. And she's different than other girls. She's not like that person you described. No, she's not like that."**_ I said looking down.

_**"Darren, you cannot assure that. You only know what she used to be. And I, as a person that didn't know how she was in the past, am telling you that she can perfectly be as the girl I described. If there is something I could notice is that, besides being nice and funny, she likes to flirt. She likes to flirt a lot and she doesn't have a naive mind, she likes to joke about dirty things with double meaning. You saw the way she flirted with Joe Walker. I'm not saying she's a hooker; she's not and everybody can tell it. But she enjoys flirting and flaunting her beauty; and that's cool because she has all the qualities to do that. But you, Darren, keep acting as if you were that teen that you aren't anymore. I've never seen you acting so shy and unsteady over Kelly. So why do you act like that over Freckles?"**_ Joey asked kind of exasperated.

_**"It's because there's a big difference between Freckles and Kelly. I didn't care about Kelly; it was only sex for me. And I do care about Freckles. That's why. I don't want to screw anything with Freckles."**_ I admitted now feeling completely frustrated.

_**"I get it, bro. But if you keep being like this, you're gonna screw things. Not always you have second chances, and now that you've got one, you're letting it go. That's senseless. If you let time pass by, it's gonna pass and it's gonna pass with her. Have you ever wondered if this new Freckles likes guys who have the guts to go and seduce her bluntly?"**_ Joey asked looking at me, but I was looking down, feeling a bit annoyed and still frustrated.

_**"No..."**_ I answered in a whisper.

_**"So why don't you figure it out instead being here, making dull plans that won't work? Go and do something for that you want to get; because in this world, sadly, there's not a dinosaur that is gonna poop magically a huge box which contains everything you want. You gotta do something and for that you have to take action. So, move your ass, buddy!"**_ Joey exclaimed exasperatedly and I giggled softly.

_**"Yeah, maybe you're right."**_ I admitted, sighing. _**"I'll make up a lame excuse to see her again, maybe."**_

_**"Maybe my ass! You will do it or I'm gonna force you; I swear Criss."**_ Joey said pointing me with his forefinger and I laughed.

_**"Scary Joey!"**_ I exclaimed loudly, still laughing. _**"Badass." **_I said amused and Joey smiled proudly. _**"So, summing up, are you saying that I should just go for her and kiss her? Because that is what I want."**_

_**"Fuck no; do not do that."**_ Joey answered shortly, apparently alarmed. _**"I'm just saying that you should start flirting with her, in an innocent way. Just flirt and seduce her, but always keeping distance. Man, I can't believe I'm telling you this. Just make her fall for you, you've got your own seduction skills, use them." **_

_**"Okay, seems fair enough."**_ I said nodding. Then I heard how someone was knocking the door. _**"Oh, I'll go."**_ I said, standing up.

_**"Hurry up; maybe it's your pussy."**_ Joey said laughing.

_**"Oh, shut up, wanker!"**_ I exclaimed laughing, walking to the door.

When I opened the door, I never expected that. I couldn't even see who it was, that the person entered abruptly while constantly hitting my chest and loudly cursing things. After a while I recognized it was Meredith.

_**"What the hell, Meredith?"**_ I asked still in shock while she was still hitting my chest. _**"Hey, mellow out!"**_ I exclaimed loudly but she kept hitting my chest. So I quickly grabbed her wrists and I stopped her. _**"What the hell?"**_ I repeated perplexed.

_**"You fucking bastard! Why haven't you told me?"**_ She yelled angrily and I looked at her with eyes wide open, completely befuddled.

_**"What? I don't even know what you're talking about."**_ I said still frowning, very confused. I noticed Joey closed the door and looked at us just as bewildered as me.

_**"About you and Freckles! Why haven't you told me that you were dating in high school? Why? You motherfucker!" **_She yelled angrily. I looked at her and I gaped, puzzled, raising my eyebrows and opening my eyes widely. I exchanged a look with Joey and he just shrugged, he was also confused.

_**"How do you know it?"**_ I asked with a jittery giggle.

_**"Freckles told me! She did and you didn't! You, my friend, didn't tell me that! How you dare, Criss!"**_ She exclaimed still angrily and she tried to hit my chest again but I grabbed strongly her wrists.

_**"Did she?"**_ I asked a bit surprised.

So Freckles told her our story. Was that a good or bad thing? Maybe it was good, because of several reasons: in the first place, she talked about me when I wasn't around; then there was the fact that she wasn't ashamed to tell Meredith that we were dating, very different than in the first day we met; but mostly because of the fact that it all meant that she used to think about me; I was still on her thoughts, at least occasionally. But then there was the negative side that it was... What if she said bad things about me? For some reason Meredith seemed to be so mad.

_**"Yes, she did! She told me it all!" **_

_**"What do you mean with it all?"**_ I asked curiously, raising an eyebrow and squinting.

_**"I mean everything! Since the beginning, then with the bullying thing, the prom, the hotel room, the talk you had in Munising; it all, Criss!"**_ She yelled and I looked at her stunned, open-mouthed. _**"It doesn't matter! Why haven't you told me?" **_

_**"I... I don't know."**_ I answered lamely because I was still stunned.

_**"Did you know that, Joey?"**_ She yelled at Joey now and he looked at her in shock.

_**"I... Umm..."**_ He babbled nervously and then he looked at me. He didn't know what to answer.

_**"You also knew! I can't believe it! I'm the only jerk that didn't know it! Screw you, Criss!"**_ She said really upset and I huffed.

_**"Oh, come on!"**_ I exclaimed loudly, now frowning and moody. _**"Don't get so steamed up over this."**_

_**"What? You gotta be kidding me, Darren!"**_ She exclaimed in disbelief.

_**"I'm not kidding. Don't blow a fuse!"**_ I exclaimed frowning. _**"I was going to tell you... eventually."**_

_**"Eventually? Is that your answer?"**_ Meredith asked incredulous, laughing bitterly.

_**"Yes, that's my answer."**_ I replied annoyed. Then I tried to calm and I sighed. _**"Listen, if I didn't tell you it was because I didn't know if Freckles wanted everybody to know it. And you're her roommate, Meredith; and I know you pretty well, you wouldn't have been able to shut your big mouth and you were going to blurt it out, even if it wasn't your intention. I'm sorry, but I didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable. Sorry, okay?"**_ I apologized and she looked down, frowning.

_**"Yeah, I guess you have a point."**_ She whispered, recognizing it. _**"But, still!"**_ She said now looking at me a bit afflicted. _**"It felt bad to find it out by her and not by you." **_

_**"I'm sorry, Mere." **_I apologized again, looking at her guiltily and she smiled sadly.

_**"It's okay, I guess." **_She said shrugging but still frowning. _**"And just so you know, you're a jerk."**_

_**"And why is that?"**_ I asked confused.

_**"It's because you left her in that hotel room, you shouldn't have done it..."**_ Meredith started saying frowning.

_**"Whoa, whoa! What has she exactly said?"**_ I asked a bit concerned now. Freckles' explanation of our story could have been very different than mine; of course, we had different versions of our ending even if we talked about it already.

_**"She told me her version and your version." **_

_**"Did she?"**_ I asked a bit edgy.

_**"Yeah, but she still doesn't believe you. Sorry, that sucks."**_ Meredith said with a sad half-smile. I just looked down and sighed.

_**"I suspected that."**_ I said gloomy, biting my lower lip, still looking down. After a short uncomfortable silence, I looked up at Meredith, frowning slightly. _**"But... Does she ever talk about me? I mean, besides of what she told you of our story... Does she talk about me? Ever?"**_ I asked softly, full of hopes to hear an affirmative answer. Judging by Meredith's nervous gaze and the way she exchanged a look with Joey, I should have guessed the answer.

_**"Sorry, mate."**_ Meredith answered looking down and I bit my lower lip again, nodding and looking down.

_**"Yeah, well... And... Does she ever think about me? I mean... I don't know... Did she seem happy when she talked about me?" **_I asked looking at Meredith again, full of hopes. Man, there must be at least one good thing. But Meredith pursed her lips. That was a bad indication.

_**"She... Why are you asking me all of that, Darren?"**_ She asked frowning, apparently troubled.

_**"Please, just answer me."**_ I begged looking deeply into her eyes.

_**"No, Darren. She doesn't think about you."**_ She said and I felt bad, I just looked down. _**"And yes, she seemed happy when she talked about you, sometimes."**_ Meredith said and I looked up again, now feeling a bit better, with a hint of hopes. _**"But if the point of all of your questions is to know if you have a chance to be with her again... I'm so sorry, Darren. She made it clear that you were part of her past now and she had no feelings for you. And well, she said she'll never come back with you. I'm very sorry." **_Meredith said with a sad look and I gulped as I looked down again, now running my fingers through my hair.

_**"That's alright..."**_ I whispered and then I looked up again, pretending to be cool with this. Man, I needed Jen right now. _**"Are you guys up for lunch? I'm starving." **_I said trying to change the topic of conversation. Meredith and Joey exchanged looks and I looked at them intently. _**"What? I'm fine, really."**_ I said shrugging and laughing, but that laughter sounded kind of creepy. _**"Really, Freckles is just a girl, like any other girl... Come on, I'm starving."**_ I said avoiding their gazes. They didn't answer. _**"Okay, fine, if you don't want to go for lunch I'm going alone. Catch you later, guys."**_

I said grabbing my bag and all the stuff that was on the table, not paying attention to what I was putting in; I just wanted to leave. They kept staring me, but I ignored it. I walked to the door and I nodded at them before leaving, not giving room for them to stop me.

_**"Fuck my life!"**_ I exclaimed upset and frustrated when I was already outside. To make things worse, it was raining and I didn't have a damn umbrella. Damn.

* * *

_**"I'm telling you, Brian. I haven't seen him since that weekend. I don't know why you're so huffy."**_ You said frowning, talking to Brian on the phone, alone in your bedroom after the Digital Photography course.

_**"Yeah, well, it doesn't change the fact that you kissed him. More than once. What are you doing? What do you exactly want?"**_ Brian asked. He seemed to be concerned and upset.

_**"I... Brian, it was like a goodbye thing. We both agreed to start from scratch." **_You replied now feeling a bit annoyed. You weren't expecting this reaction from him. _**"I don't get why you seem to be so upset about it."**_

_**"I'm not upset. I just don't understand the things you do sometimes."**_ Brian answered frankly. _**"This isn't only about you... Have you ever thought that maybe Darren still feels something for you? You could be hurting his feelings if you keep doing those things." **_

_**"Oh, come on, Brian! It was only one night and the last one. It's not like we had sex or something. It was just like the old times; as I told you, like a goodbye we never had. Besides, I hardly doubt he has still feelings for me; I told you, I haven't seen him since that time. And in any case, I made it pretty clear that I didn't want anything with him."**_ You said still annoyed. _**"He has his life; I have my life; end of the story." **_

_**"Okay, I just don't want to hear from you in the future that you feel bad because you hurt him, because he was still in love with you and you weren't. You're warned, Sunny."**_ Brian said and his voice sounded severe. _**"Anyway, does Mandy know something about this? Have you already told her that you met Darren again?"**_

_**"No, she doesn't know yet. I want to see her and tell her that in person. You know how she is, she's gonna get worried and I don't want it. She's pretty busy all the time and I don't want to bother her with this."**_ You replied as you sighed, lying down in bed.

_**"You know you should tell her. It's unfair if you don't do it, after all she did."**_ Brian said.

_**"I know, Brian! And I will do it as soon as I get to see her in person." **_You said huffing.

_**"Fine, I believe you."**_ Brian said. _**"Anyway, I think you haven't told me something about what happened that night between you and Darren. Why have you forgiven him so easily? Last time I saw you, you were still resented to him." **_

_**"Oh yeah... That. Well, he explained me why he left, you know? I don't believe it, but whatever..."**_ You said while scribbling random things in your notebook.

_**"You should've started from there; I guess that's a big deal. What has he told you?"**_ He asked very curious.

_**"Oh well, he told me that Jim appeared that night with a gun and he threatened him to shoot me. So, Jim forced him to write that note and he told Darren that if he dared to see me again, he was going to kill me. That's the most absurd and lame story I've ever heard."**_ You said indifferently, still scribbling in your notebook.

_**"Yeah, it actually sounds inconclusive."**_ Brian said almost in a whisper.

_**"Hmm..."**_ You mumbled, scribbling a small tree.

_**"But what if he's telling the truth?"**_ Brian asked.

_**"I hardly think so..."**_ You replied, but you were thoughtful now... You still were wondering if what Darren said was true or not, though. _**"But I don't know. I think I'd have to live with the mystery since he has no proofs to show me it was in fact as he said."**_

_**"Yeah, that sucks."**_ Brian said.

_**"Hey, Bri..."**_ You said still a bit thoughtful. _**"Do you think you could get information about this? I mean, you were friends with Jim... Maybe you could get something, so I can check if Darren is telling the truth or not."**_

_**"Sunny, I haven't seen or talked to him since that time they forced you to pretend you were W. And I don't wanna do it." **_Brian replied.

_**"Please? I need to know. Only for this time and I swear I'd do whatever you ask me to do. You're the only one who I know that can get in touch with Jim. I'm not asking you to be friends with him again, because I'd hate you for my entire life; but just get that information. Pretty please?"**_ You begged with you sweetest voice.

_**"Argh, I hate you."**_ Brian grumbled.

_**"Is that a yes?"**_ You exclaimed cheerfully.

_**"Yeah, well, I won't promise you anything; but I'll try to do my best. It'll take time, though."**_ Brian replied.

_**"Thank you, Brian! You're the best friend ever!"**_ You exclaimed joyfully.

_**"You will owe me one, Sunny, a big one."**_ Brian said but he chuckled at the end.

_**"Yes! I'll do whatever you want."**_ You said happily.

_**"Yes, yes, I know those words."**_ Brian said chuckling and so did you.

_**"This time I'm talking in all seriousness." **_You assured. _**"Now, changing the topic of conversation… I made a new friend today! You won't guess who it is." **_

_**"You said it, I won't guess it." **_

_**"Noah, the guy you saw in the coffee shop the last time we met? Yeah, that cute and handsome guy. He's really nice."**_ You said.

_**"You gotta be kidding me! I knew that guy was going to find you again, you just should have seen his face."**_ He said laughing and you laughed along with him.

_**"Stop it, Brian. He's friendly and he didn't flirt with me this time. He's in the same program than me, so we're classmates." **_You told him.

_**"You'll see that in a couple of months, or days if things get intense; you'll be hooking up with that guy. Remember it."**_ Brian said amused and you giggled.

_**"No way! He's handsome and nice and so sexy and his eyes are just amazing... But he's not my type."**_

_**"You barely know him! How can you say he's not your type?" **_

_**"Well, because he isn't. Besides, I think I'm in love already."**_ You said snickering.

_**"What? With who? Darren?" **_Brian asked exasperated and alarmed and you frowned.

_**"What? No! Not Darren! Geez, no."**_ You exclaimed in disbelief. _**"My sexy professor of Digital Photography. Oh, he's so alluring!" **_

_**"I see you are aiming high! The platonic love."**_ He said laughing, sounding less alarmed now.

_**"It's not gonna be platonic! I need to get my professor! Really, he's so sexy."**_ You said.

_**"You gotta be kidding." **_

_**"No, actually I'm not. He's young. And I won't stop until I get something with him."**_ You said laughing but Brian didn't say anything at all. _**"Hey, I was kidding, dumbass! Is my professor, being with him would be like something illegal."**_ You cleared up.

_**"You know? For a moment I thought you were talking in all seriousness and I got scared. You silly!"**_ Brian said now laughing.

_**"Oh come on! You know I'm not into illegal things." **_You said still giggling. _**"But hey, listen... There's something weird with this hot professor... Do you know what his last name is?"**_

_**"No, of course not." **_

_**"Adams." **_

_**"What? Hey, just like Jim's last name." **_

_**"Exactly."**_ You answered. _**"So I did the most embarrassing and inappropriate thing I could have ever done."**_

_**"Oh my god. What have you done now?"**_ He asked almost resigned.

_**"I asked him if he was a relative of Jim." **_

_**"You did what? Are you serious or are you joking again?"**_

_**"I'm serious. I know, it was so stupid. Of course he didn't answer me and of course he made it clear it was totally inappropriate. I guess I didn't start in the best way with him." **_

_**"You're insane, Sunny."**_ Brian said as you heard someone knocking his door. _**"Hey, I'm sorry, Sunny; but I really have to hang up."**_

_**"Why?"**_ You asked curiously and then you smiled amused. _**"Oh... I see! You naughty boy! You have a girl there, don't you?"**_

_**"What? No! No girls... We talked about this already."**_ Brian answered and you were about to ask something, but he interrupted you. _**"And no, I'm not gay."**_ He said and you raised your eyebrows. How the hell did he know you were about to ask that again? _**"Really, I have to hang up, sorry. I'll call you later!" **_

_**"Okay, fine. Talk to you later, Bri. Use condoms!"**_ You joked before you hung up.

When you hung up with Brian, you checked the time. You still had free time till your next course and you really had nothing to do, except that boring assignment of Digital Photography, but you weren't feeling like doing it; you didn't even know what you could do or what topic to choose. It was still raining and it was crazy, but you didn't want to be in your room, you really wanted to go for a walk or something. So yeah, you were going to do it even if it was raining, after all, you liked walking in the rain... but with an umbrella right now. So this time you made sure to bring your umbrella before going out. And you also brought the digital camera, just in case something awesome and quirky appeared on your way to nowhere.

* * *

So I was there at Bursley Dining Hall having lunch, alone, like a social misfit, seeing how everybody was having a blast with their friends and I was sitting in a corner as a little kid punished. I only needed the dunce cap and I was done. Man, what was wrong with me? I shouldn't feel like this every time Freckles didn't want what I wanted; I was acting indeed like a teenager going through puberty. And after all, my life didn't revolve around her; at least, it shouldn't be like that.

_**"Look at you, being alone like a misanthropic and aloof guy. This is not you. You're the guy who always stands up in the middle of a crowd to make that random and hilarious joke. Look at you, being an introverted and restrained guy. This is not you. You're the guy who talks a lot about nonsense things and is hyper most of the time."**_ I thought in my mind, while still observing everybody._** "And she's the one to blame for my current behavior. Why would I still think about her if she is making me be something I'm not? I hate this. I hate her. No, I don't, but I should." **_

Ugh, I was just having a bad day and the weather wasn't helping. That was it all; everybody was allowed to have a crappy day occasionally. This was going to change; my current shitty mood was going to change sooner or later. Enough, I was going to finish eating my lunch and then I was going to get the fuck out of here. I wasn't feeling like being in a crowded place and this place was ridiculously crowded because of the bad weather. Then I saw Kelly entering the dining hall and I epically played dumb. I looked down and slid down my chair, so she wouldn't see me. Surreptitiously I grabbed my bag and hung it on my shoulder, also grabbing the rest of my tuna sandwich. I really didn't want to talk to her and give lame explanations of why I kicked her out of my room that time, the last time we saw each other. Surely she was offended for that and even more because I didn't reply any of the text messages she has been sending me. I took advantage when she was distracted greeting a guy to stand up and get out of there. I practically ran to the door, stumbling into few people on my way.

_**"Darren?"**_ I heard Kelly's voice yelling.

Oh shit, I really needed to play dumb and ignore it; so I kept walking fast to the door to just leave. But the place was so crowded that it was being hard to get out of there.

_**"Excuse me, excuse me, let me pass."**_ I heard Kelly saying to other people. She was walking to me and I was just like running away. _**"Darren!"**_ She yelled again but I ignored it. _**"Hey you!"**_ She said and finally took me by the arm. Dammit. I turned around.

_**"Hey, Kelly! What a surprise!"**_ I exclaimed pretending amazement.

_**"I've been calling you, are you deaf or something?"**_ She said kind of annoyed, still taking me by the arm.

_**"Yeah, well, I was just thinking some shit so I wasn't listening..."**_ I lied and I cursed myself to have made up a very lame excuse.

_**"Whatever, I'm not interested on your stupid things."**_ She interrupted me, raising an eyebrow. What a bitch, man. _**"Why haven't you replied my texts, Criss?"**_

_**"I'm out of phone credit. Sorry..."**_ I lied and she looked at me fixedly, still raising an eyebrow. _**"Listen, I'm in a hurry... So yeah, if you let me go... I really have to go, we can talk later..."**_ I said looking at my arm, as letting her know that she needed to let out my arm.

_**"You'll go when I decide, Criss."**_ She said firmly.

_**"Excuse me?"**_ I asked in disbelief and completely displeased. _**"You won't decide anything for me, Kelly."**_ I said severely and I sharply released my arm from her.

_**"What the fuck are you doing?"**_ She asked coldly as she tried to grab my arm again, but I moved it away brusquely.

_**"Do not touch me."**_ I said coldly.

_**"I'll touch all I want."**_ She said now placing a hand on my crotch. I quickly moved her hand away, harshly.

_**"What the hell are you doing?"**_ I asked angrily as I pushed her and she looked at me with eyes wide open and gaped.

_**"Hey, man. What the fuck are you doing?"**_ A huge guy faced me, placing his hand on my shoulder and squeezing it so strongly that was hurting me.

_**"He... He tried to... He tried to touch me... He tried to touch my boobs and when... when I said that he should respect me, he pushed me!"**_ Kelly exclaimed pretending to be sobbing, covering her face with her hands; totally playing the victim. I looked at her incredulous and so upset.

_**"What the fuck is wrong with you, jackass?"**_ The same huge guy said really mad, now placing both of his hands on my shoulders; as other guys walked to me. Damn those guys were way taller and bigger than me.

_**"What the hell? That's a fucking lie! That's a lie and you know it, Kelly!"**_ I yelled rabidly, pointing at Kelly who was still pretending to be sobbing. _**"Let me go!"**_ I yelled at the guy now, struggling to get out of there; but the guy squeezed my shoulders even harder.

_**"Apologize to her, asshole."**_ The guy said rudely.

_**"I won't apologize to her because she's a damn liar bitch."**_ I said furious.

Then I felt how the guy hit me very hard on my face. I closed my eyes because of the pain in my nose, I knew I was bleeding. Then I opened my eyes but remained looking down, tensing my jaw, feeling completely rabid. I cleaned the blood of my nose with the back of my hand and I looked up, trying to keep my cool. I didn't want to flip out and do something I haven't done in a while that was to hit someone. I looked at the guy really ablaze with anger and I bit my lower lip strongly. But I did nothing.

_**"Fuck you, man. Fuck you all!"**_ I yelled angrily, but I did nothing aggressive, I only turned around to leave.

The guy tried to take me by my shoulders again, but I made a quick movement to prevent him grip me. I walked away from there as fast as I could, still feeling wrathful. Everybody was looking at me now, and that was precisely what I didn't want in that day. I managed to get out of there and I slammed the door of the dining hall behind me. Oh great! It was raining harder now and I didn't have a damn umbrella. Stupid crappy day. I didn't even want to go to class now and I still had free time but I didn't want to do any other shitty thing. Damn, I was getting totally wet with this stupid rain and it was starting to get cold and I didn't have a damn coat. What else could worsen my mood? I started walking fast in the rain, looking down to try to see the way; frowning, feeling still super angry. The harder it started raining, the faster I started walking; I didn't even know where to go, so I was just walking to my housing. When lightning and thunder began, I started to run, still looking down to see the way. And while I was running I stumbled upon a person, so I accidentally hit very hard that person. But I didn't even look up to see who that person was.

_**"I'm sorry."**_ I said, still feeling upset and I kept running.

_**"Darren?"**_ I heard the voice of the person. I turned around and I saw Freckles with a colorful umbrella looking at me. She was the person I hit accidentally.

_**"Hi."**_ I greeted in a very ill-mannered way because I wasn't in mood to be nice. Then I turned around to leave and go to my housing.

_**"Hey, Darren! Wait!"**_ Freckles yelled behind me.

She ran behind me, but I kept walking away until she took me by my wrist. I turned around to look at her frowning and still feeling upset. I huffed in annoyance. Why the fuck was she stopping me? I just wanted to be alone and I wasn't feeling like talking to her; and less while I was still getting wet because of the rain.

_**"What the fuck do you want?"**_ I asked rudely and Freckles looked at me stunned, raising her eyebrows.

_**"Whoa! Having a bad day?"**_ She asked frowning, still stunned.

_**"Yeah, so I'd appreciate if you just fuck off."**_ I said rudely again and I tried to keep walking, but she held my wrist even tighter.

_**"Hey, wait. What's wrong? Your nose is bleeding."**_ She said looking at me, apparently worried.

_**"I know, dammit. And I don't want to talk about it with you. So just stay the fuck away from me."**_ I said harshly again and I turned around, letting out my wrist.

_**"Darren!"**_ She exclaimed confused and took me by my wrist again.

_**"What the fuck? What the fuck do you want, Freckles? Goddammit!"**_ I exclaimed really irritated as she looked at me disturbed.

_**"I was just wondering if you'd want to go for a coffee."**_ She said softly.

_**"I don't wanna go for a stupid damn coffee with you. I don't wanna do anything with you, I'm sick of you; I'm sick of everything. So do me a favor and fuck off, I don't wanna see you, for fuck's sake!"**_ I yelled completely out of my mind.

Freckles looked at me with eyes wide open, raising eyebrows and gaped; totally thunderstruck. But I didn't care, I let out my wrist sharply and I turned around to keep walking in the rain; still feeling very choleric. So yes, I walked away from her. Shitty day.


	40. Rainy heart

A/N: Hi there, guys! You surely are wondering what the hell is wrong with me because I confused Saturday with Wednesday. Let me tell you, I did not confuse it. Yes, I'm posting a new chapter on a Wednesday! This is real! Okay, enough with my silliness. I promised Vcriss that I'll post on a Wednesday, and I don't like to break my promises. So you got an early update! Now, in return, you all must provide me with chocolates. Virtual chocolates. That's possible, right? I'll pretend that you all answered yes. So, back to the story, the last you read was that Darren was having one of those shitty days that totally suck, now it's time to see what happens. Maybe many of you won't enjoy so much this new chapter... The drama returned and it came back to be intense! But I do hope that despite it you can enjoy the chapter; or at least pretend it because I updated it earlier than usual. Okay no, do not pretend it, and tell me the cold-hearted truth about what you think! Now, enough with my bipolarity. I'll start answering your reviews!

Nicole: Oh yes! It was a really bad day and I feel bad for Darren! And yes, there will be more info about Jim, but not so fast! Things will go slowly and well, you already know some things about Jim! And Kelly! Ah! I agree with you, what a whore! If I were Darren, I'd have punched her. But he didn't. There's an interesting story about Kelly that I obviously won't spoil because I'm a dragon, cruel dragon that cannot sleep with a song! Yes, about time that Meredith could know their story! Comes and goings between Freckles and Darren, wondering when it's gonna stop! Maybe Dora knows, but unfortunately Draco (or you?) got rid of her! Hugs and butterfly kisses for my so-reviewer Draco! Nicole, damn it's Nicole! Nicole Draco sounds good.

Guest: Of course it's not bad to be sarcastic! In conversations I tend to be sarcastic to make things funnier; without sarcasm and irony everything would be more boring! And I always laugh when people talk with sarcasm because it's funny, I think it's the tone of voice you do while being sarcastic. I'll take the compliment with a huge smile! I'm really glad I can make it feel real! So I hope I can still make you care about fictional characters! You should have quoted Blaine and have said 'Why do you always do that?' haha that's what popped in my mind when I read your review! I know it was frustrating and this new chapter maybe it's more frustrating. Ah, professor Adams! It'll take a long to find out what happens with him and what he has to do with this all! I'm happy to know that you love Joey and his conversations with Darren because Joey will appear a lot!

Vcriss: I did it! I updated on a Wednesday! Huzzah! You're very welcome! Now I hope you can enjoy the chapter, but probably you won't; I don't know, I have a feeling. No, I think he wasn't a douche before, and yes, he was a real jackass in this part by the way he reacted, but maybe I'll make you think the opposite in this new chapter. The roles of who the jerk is will switch all the time! Or not... Who knows? It's up to my weird mind!

GleeKof1: You gotta go to your photography course to see that hot professor! No matter if you don't like photography, you gotta see the professor Adams! Now, do you really like photography? I really do! It's one of my oh so many passions! Again the cliffhanger! And you'll get another cliffhanger in this new chapter, and the cliffhangers will continue! Those bitches. The positive thing, I guess, is that you didn't have to wait till Saturday to read a new chapter! And you'll get your adorkable for sure, I think it's in chapter 44. Aw, I miss it!

alicegursk: Noah is a bother just as Kelly is, right? At least Noah isn't a bitch like Kelly! Those things Darren said were kind of cruel; let's see how Freckles will react or let's see what unexpected thing can happen now! Why don't you understand Freckles? Oh right! She's weird! She acts weird! And she'll keep acting weird, maybe! The question is... Will Freckles and Darren get together again? Be or not to be, that's the question! Think about this, maybe the positive thing of your heart raising is that maybe, probably, possibly, you can fly! I mean, your heart is inside your body, and if it rises, maybe your body will raise and if your body rises, it'd be like flying! That would be great! Please, don't freak out, sometimes I'm a sane person. Okay, maybe you have all the reasons to call me drama queen; maybe also insane queen. I'll send Darren an owl to let him know that he must take a flight to Russia because he's forced to cuddle with you, and he could serenade you too! This will be my way to show you my love!

AnSofiekeeeh: You need to stay a hopeless romantic! Maybe they'll get together, maybe not in an expected way, maybe it'll be different. For good or for bad? Lucy doesn't know! How long will it take? Lucy doesn't know! I'm being silly, right? But keep being a hopeless romantic because that's good! Thanks for saying it was a good chapter despite the shitty day Darren had! Maybe I made you break your weekly routine, but I wanna think it was for something good that is to have got an early update in an unexpected day!

Ginny Zoey: Do not cry, Ginny! I know it's sad, but sometimes you'll get sad things and sometimes you'll get happy things; and sometimes you'll get unexpected things! Maybe Darren and Freckles will be together, maybe not so soon and maybe not as before, maybe for better, maybe not. Things will be more complicated, for good or for bad, that's something that you'll find out within time! There will be kisses, maybe, but when, who, why, how? Ah, surprise. Maybe Brian likes Freckles or maybe he's only her best friend and their relationship is just weird for different reasons. You'll get more information about it within chapters! I like the idea of giving they names! Darreckles; yes, it sounds better than Farren, I don't like Farren, not to mention Frecken. Darckles sounds quite weird. I think we could go with Darreckles!

vicky: It was a shit day, like one of those days in which everything sucks! Oh! But maybe there's something that can make his day worse, trust me. Yes, maybe this all is hurting Freckles and maybe she's still in love with Darren, it'd be reasonable to think that. Or maybe not, maybe she's confused and resented. But for now, it seems she still feels something for Darren, which doesn't mean that it could change... I will keep it as a mystery! Jim needed to appear again, there are things that must be explained about Jim but it'll take time, maybe he's not gonna appear, maybe it'll be just finding out something. Maybe he won't do anything bad, maybe he's gonna do something good, maybe he's not gonna do anything at all. Joey is a manipulator! He will say some shit in a funny way or in a wise way, he'll give his point of view about everything and he'll always manage to change Darren's mind! What a manipulator! I love him too! Yes, Kelly is a bitch! She's really rude and for that she needs to disappear. Maybe she will or maybe she won't; but for sure there's something behind Kelly... Good or bad?

Now that was all, guys! I'll update on Saturday too, so don't worry! I'll let you read this… interesting? Chapter. I don't know; let's see what you think about it. Everything said. Now, until Saturday! Have a good week! Warm fuzzies and pots of gold and rabbits!

* * *

**Teenage Dream – Chapter 40 – Rainy heart.**

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I was already walking away from Freckles when I stopped abruptly. Man, I treated her like shit and she didn't even deserve it. I was such an ass. I turned around to walk to her again and apologize. She already walked away from me among all the people in the campus; but it was easy to recognize her colorful umbrella, so I ran towards her. She didn't notice I was running behind her, so when I was close, I took her by her arm. She turned around frowning and then she noticed it was me the one who stopped her.

_**"I'm so sorry, Freckles. I treated you like crap, but it's just I'm having a shitty day. Sorry, I shouldn't have vented my anger in you."**_ I said apologetically as Freckles was looking at me serious, still frowning. I didn't like that. Why wasn't she saying anything? _**"Sorry, I screwed it." **_I apologized again and, after a while, she smiled softly.

_**"It's okay, there's no need to apologize; I understand this is a bad day for you." **_She said softly and I felt way more relieved. _**"I just... Let me see..."**_ She said searching for something in her bag. I looked at her frowning; I had no idea what she was doing. _**"Oh, here it is!"**_ She exclaimed and she pulled out a cotton ball and handed it to me. _**"Take it, for your nose."**_

_**"Oh!"**_ I exclaimed surprised, because honestly I wasn't expecting this at all. But I took it and placed it in my nose. _**"Thank you."**_ I said smiling faintly.

_**"You're welcome. Consider it as the favor I needed to return; you know, when you gave me a cotton ball, one day at high school when Brian hit me." **_Freckles said smiling kindly and I looked at her curious, frowning. I couldn't believe she remembered it. _**"You don't remember it, do you?"**_

_**"No. I mean, yeah, I remember it. That was long time ago."**_ I said in a whisper, still amazed because she remembered that. _**"Well, thank you, really."**_ I said again. Damn, I was getting so wet and I needed to go to any indoors place. _**"So, umm..."**_

_**"You really don't want to go for a coffee?" **_She asked.

_**"Oh, no. No, I don't want it."**_ I answered sincerely.

_**"Oh, okay, then!"**_ She said with a slight smile and then she was about to turn around, but I grabbed her wrist.

_**"Hey, wait! I think you've misunderstood me. It's not like I don't want to go for a coffee with you; it's just I don't want to go to the in-hall café. The place is crowded and I don't feel like being around people while I'm like this moody."**_ I said softly, looking into her beautiful eyes, still holding her wrist.

_**"I see. Well, maybe we could leave it for another time."**_ She said shrugging.

_**"Yeah."**_ I replied, looking down because it was hard to look up while it was insanely raining.

_**"Either that or..."**_ She started saying with an amused and mysterious smile.

I looked at her a bit amused. Even if I was moody, even if I was in a rage, even if I wanted to punch everybody; she made me feel a bit better, without doing anything at all. It was just the way she could be so cute, the way she could keep me interested and intrigued about something. Those were the little things she could do that could turn my mood. However, I was still feeling annoyed with this day.

_**"We can go at The Blue Apple café and I can buy coffee for the two of us while you wait for me outside, so you won't have to worry about people. Then, once I buy the coffees, we can go and drink them at the community living room of my residence that is awesome. Surely no one is gonna be there, because there's the rumor that the couches are contaminated with a chemical noxious for human skin or some shit like that. I don't know how people believe it, but whatever."**_ Freckles said frowning, thoughtful and I couldn't help it but chuckling softly.

_**"So, you want to take me there to kill me, don't you?"**_ I said raising an eyebrow and she looked at me amused.

_**"Maybe. But hey, at least you're gonna die while drinking a hot and delicious coffee. Isn't it the best way to die?"**_ She asked while giggling. Was she trying to cheer me up?

_**"Yeah, you have a point there."**_ I said nodding with a slight smile.

_**"So, what do you think? Do you wanna come? I have free time until 6pm and its 2pm right now, so we have time."**_ Freckles said shrugging with a friendly smile.

_**"Yeah, why not? Maybe a hot coffee will help to change my cold mood."**_ I answered shrugging; trying to be in a better mood, but well, it was hard.

_**"Okay, great! Let's go, then."**_ She said smiling brightly.

So we both started walking in silence. I was walking in the rain, still getting wet with the stupid rain; and she was walking under her very colorful umbrella. Everything she had was colorful, why?

_**"Hey, do you really enjoy walking in the rain?" **_Freckles suddenly asked and I looked at her, giggling faintly.

_**"No... I mean, yeah, sometimes it's cool. But not when you're already very wet and your day is a real shit."**_ I answered honestly.

_**"So, I'm assuming that you're stupid." **_

_**"Excuse me?"**_ I asked frowning, surprised.

_**"You don't want to walk in the rain right now, but you won't get your ass under the umbrella I have. So yes, you're stupid."**_ She said with an amused smile. Was she mocking me?

_**"Well, I didn't know if you..."**_

_**"Shut up and come here, under the umbrella. You really don't wanna get sick."**_ She interrupted me and I looked at her stunned.

_**"Okay, boss."**_ I said giggling softly and I walked towards her to stand next to her, under the umbrella now.

So, Freckles did exactly what she proposed me. She entered at The Blue Apple café and she bought coffee for the two. I insisted her to take my money to buy them, but she refused strongly again and again, telling me that I already paid for the lunch the last time and now it was her turn to pay something. It was weird that when I first met her at college, I was the one who invited her to go for a coffee and she never accepted; and now she was the one who was inviting me. Could be this a sign? No, of course not; I needed to stop thinking about those things; she was doing it only because she noticed I was having a crappy day and she was trying to be nice. End of the story. Freckles took me to that community living room and it was indeed completely empty. I thought she was kidding, but no, apparently she told the truth. I was about to sit on one couch, but Freckles, instead, grabbed two cushions and put them on the floor, right in front of a large floor to ceiling window. So, maybe I was supposed to sit there, I didn't know. When she sat there, leaving her bag and the umbrella on the floor; I was sure that I had to sit there; so I walked slowly and I sat on the cushion in front of her. I handed her coffee and we started drinking the coffee silently. Oh yeah, it felt so nice to drink something hot since I was really freezing and completely wet.

_**"Aren't you cold?"**_ Freckles asked and I looked up to see her.

_**"Oh, just a bit. But the coffee is helping."**_ I answered while taking a sip of my coffee.

_**"Hmm..."**_ She said and then left the coffee on the floor and stood up. I looked at her frowning, not knowing what she was doing. _**"Wait here, I'll look for something in my room, so you can warm up." **_

_**"Oh, no, really, do not bother; I'm fine."**_ I said quickly.

_**"Oh, please, Darren. You're trembling. Be right back." **_She said and turned around.

_**"Freckles, really! You don't have to..." **_

_**"I said be right back!"**_ She yelled, interrupting me with a giggle while she was walking away.

_**"Okay, cool."**_ I said when she left the community living room.

I waited for her for a long time, I couldn't get why she wasn't coming, her coffee was going to get cold. During the wait, I snuggled; sitting with my legs bended, placing the coffee mug on my knees and placing one cheek on the coffee mug, so I would feel the heat of the coffee to warm up a little. Like this, I remained looking through the window; I saw how hard it was raining and how almost no one was outside, except some people running with their umbrellas to attend their class. In days like this I was always used to be kind of meditative, the rain had that effect on me. So there I was, alone and quiet in that lonely and silent place, looking the rain through the window, deep in thought. I wasn't thinking anything in particular, I was just thinking about everything. That was until I heard a sound, a phone sound; but it wasn't my phone. I looked at Freckles' bag; the sound came from there. I looked around; Freckles wasn't here yet and it seemed she wasn't going to come back any soon. I left the coffee mug on the floor and I crawled up her backpack. Silently and gingerly, I opened it and I searched for her phone; until I found it. Oh damn, man! What was I doing? I shouldn't be doing this; this was none of my business. And what if Freckles catches me doing this? I really shouldn't be doing this, but I was so intrigued. I looked around one more time; no one was there and I couldn't hear anyone coming, so I saw her phone. It was a text message from... Noah? Who was that? Could that be her ex-boyfriend? No, she told me that her ex-boyfriend's name was Ian. So, who was this Noah guy? Maybe a new friend she had? What if that guy was her new lover? What if she actually had a lover? I never asked her if she had a current relationship. Oh, you fool! Why have you never asked her that? Whatever, I needed to read that text message. I was nervous; I really didn't want Freckles to catch me doing this; so I tried to be fast.

From Noah: **Hey there, sexy girl. How's your day going so far? I just wanted to say that it was really nice to see you today. I'm excited to show you that thing I've told you about. I hope you have yours ready. ;)**

I looked at that text message and a lot of hypothesis and conjectures started popping in my mind. But then I heard steps coming closer and I felt really nervous. That was surely Freckles. I quickly left her phone in her backpack and closed it; then I crawled up my cushion and grabbed my coffee mug to pretend I was doing nothing. I sat in the same position I was sitting before I heard the sound of her phone and I looked through the window.

_**"Take this, Darren."**_ Freckles said with her soft voice and I looked at her. She was handing me a colorful wool quilt. _**"I'm sorry; I couldn't find any other thing to give to you."**_

_**"No, it's okay; this seems good enough."**_ I said softly, grabbing the wool quilt. I wrapped it around my body and I snuggled. _**"Hmm, this feels so cozy and warm. Thank you, Freckles."**_

_**"You're welcome."**_ She said smiling friendly and then she sat on her cushion, grabbing her coffee.

Then I looked through the window again, now with the wool quilt wrapped around me. I was feeling really cozy with the quilt; sitting with my legs bended and my coffee on my knees, placing my cheek on the coffee mug while hearing the sound of the rain. But now I was thinking about that Noah guy. I couldn't stop thinking about it and the text message he sent her. Why did he call her sexy girl? What was he going to show her? Was this Noah guy her boyfriend or something? That was unfair. It was unfair that I was still thinking that I could have a chance with Freckles while she was hanging out with other guys. I was feeling kind of down and more because of this depressing day; although now I was feeling a bit better because of the wool quilt; that quilt had her smell, so it was something pleasant. I was so deep in thought until I heard a weird sound. I looked at Freckles; she was with a digital camera. Was she taking me a picture?

_**"What are you doing?"**_ I asked frowning but softly. She put aside the digital camera and smiled.

_**"My assignment."**_ She answered still smiling and I looked at her curiously. _**"I have this course, Digital Photography, and the professor gave us an assignment to do. So I was doing it."**_ She explained.

_**"And your assignment was taking me a picture? I didn't know I was that famous."**_ I asked still curiously. She giggled softly.

_**"No, silly!"**_ She answered still giggling softly and that made me smile just a bit. _**"We had to choose a topic and try out different things with colors and perspectives that can impact emotional connections between image and viewer." **_She explained and I nodded.

_**"So, the topic you chose was to express how sexy a guy can be, right?"**_ I said trying to joke and she laughed.

_**"Sorry to disappoint, but that wasn't precisely the topic I chose."**_ She said giggling softly and I nodded as she grabbed her digital camera again to look at the picture she recently took. _**"But you could certainly be my model for my assignment. You are ridiculously photogenic."**_ She said frowning in surprise with a smile on her face.

_**"What?"**_ I asked amused.

_**"Yeah, look at this picture. You didn't pose for the picture and you still look great."**_ She said crawling up to me. She sat next to me and showed me the photo. That was good photo, but I didn't like so much how I looked.

_**"The photo is masterful. But I look so crappy; look at that hair! Man, is a mess."**_ I said frowning, touching my hair now. _**"Why haven't you told me that I look like Medusa?"**_ I asked in all seriousness and Freckles laughed out loud.

_**"You don't look like Medusa. I like your hair when wet. Really, your curls are perfect for a shampoo commercial."**_ She said giggling, touching one of my curls. I just looked at her and I smiled for real.

_**"If you're saying that just in order to convince me to help you with your assignment; I'm sorry to inform you that it won't happen."**_ I said smiling.

_**"No, I didn't say it for that."**_ She said now looking at me and then she crawled up her cushion again to grab her coffee. _**"But you could help me, you know? Besides, you offered your help when we were in Munising."**_

_**"Well, I offered my help, yeah; but it was if you needed help with the courses I already took last year."**_ I corrected her.

_**"Damn! That's right." **_She said frowning and closing her fist, and then she laughed. _**"But, come on, pose for my photos! You're photogenic, besides, you're an actor."**_

_**"I am not yet."**_ I reminded her.

_**"But you will. And you can start practicing with me as your photographer. Imagine that I'm one of those people that are in charge to take all the photos of an important event... Or better yet, imagine that you need to pose for artistic photos for the cover of a movie or magazine and I'm the photographer."**_ She said in a very persuasive way and I just looked at her amused. She had a really good imagination.

_**"That sounds captivating and convincing and I feel super honored; but it won't work. I don't feel comfortable when it comes to posing for pictures; I tend to do silly faces all the time when someone is gonna take me a picture. So no; sorry. Besides, you should look for a handsome guy; not me, the king of the dorks."**_ I said giggling softly and she burst out laughing.

_**"Well, king of the dorks, you're handsome. So, please!"**_ She begged and I looked at her with a twinkle in my eyes. Was she really saying I was handsome?

_**"Okay, maybe another day; today is not a good day for me."**_ I replied, sighing. Of course she could always convince me to do whatever she wanted.

_**"Thank you! You're the best!" **_She exclaimed bouncing on the cushion, excited.

_**"I wonder how many times you said the same to other people when you convinced them to do something you wanted."**_ I said amused, laughing, shaking my head and looking through the window again. Then I heard the same sound than minutes before and I looked at her again. _**"Hey! Do not take me pictures now or I won't pose for you in the future!"**_ I warned amused.

_**"Okay, okay! I'll stop now."**_ She said chuckling, putting her digital camera aside. _**"I have a surprise for you!"**_ She exclaimed loudly.

_**"Do you?"**_ I asked looking at her intrigued.

_**"I do! Wait..."**_ She said, looking for something behind her. _**"I had to hide it before you could see it when I came back..." **_She said still looking for something. _**"That's why I took so long..."**_ She said and she finally turned around. _**"Ta-da!"**_ She exclaimed pulling out something I recognized.

Oh well, she really surprised me this time. She was there grabbing the ukulele I gave her one time ago, when we first started dating. She still had it, I couldn't believe it. I couldn't help feeling thrilled; those were some good times. That used to be my best ukulele and I never regretted to have given it to her; I was glad that she still had it. She handed it to me and I grabbed it. I could read what I wrote to her that day: 'A signed ukulele for my biggest fan. With love, Darren Criss.' And my signature and a smiley face with a tiny heart were drawn there. I let out a short laugh when I read it. After I observed it for a while, I looked up to see her.

_**"You still have it."**_ I said smiling sweetly and she smiled back.

_**"Of course I still have it. It helped me a lot when I wanted to learn to play an instrument. That's why I can play the guitar, not so well because the ukulele is different than a guitar, but well, it's similar."**_ She answered still smiling.

_**"Well, I'm glad it was useful."**_ I said while running my fingers through the ukulele. It was well preserved.

_**"Yes, it was. I can play it, but I still fail at some things. At least, my fingers can reach the strings now."**_ She said laughing and I remembered when she told me she always wanted to learn to play the guitar but she gave up because her fingers couldn't reach the strings; so I laughed at that comment.

_**"Well, see? It wasn't something impossible, I told you."**_ I said still laughing. _**"If you want to learn to play it well, my offer of being your teacher is still standing." **_

_**"Okay, I'll keep it in mind. It seems that you're gonna be my teacher for everything: my swimming teacher, my guitar teacher, my acting coach... Geez, boy! I don't have much money to afford it all."**_ She said frowning with an amused smile and I chuckled softly.

_**"Well, if you don't have the money; there are other ways you can pay me."**_ I said winking, flirting a bit. But she looked at me suspiciously, as though she didn't like so much that answer. _**"Yeah, like we could make a trade. I'll teach you all of those things and in return you'll decorate my room with your paintings, drawings and handcrafts." **_

_**"Oh!"**_ She exclaimed loudly, raising her eyebrows, as though she was relieved to have heard that answer. _**"Yes, totally! It seems fair enough."**_ She said nodding and smiling. I only nodded, smiling back. _**"So... I brought the ukulele because I was wishing to hear your voice singing."**_

_**"Were you?"**_ I asked amused and she nodded with a bright smile. Well, at least there was something she still liked about me. _**"Okay, I feel like I'm practically forced to do this. What will you give me in return?"**_ I asked giving her a sensual look; everything in a jokingly way.

_**"I'll sing for you."**_ She replied and I looked at her curiously. I remembered when she didn't like to sing in front of me and now she was offering to sing for me. Truth was that her voice was way better now.

_**"Fine, it's a deal."**_ I replied now tuning the strings. Then I heard the sound of the camera and I looked at her. _**"Hey! You promised something!"**_

_**"I'm so sorry!" **_She said with a mischievous smile and with the typical face of a child when knows that made a mischief. I couldn't help laughing.

Before singing, her phone sounded and I looked at it fixedly. Oh damn, hopefully she wouldn't notice I read that text message from that Noah guy. I was kind of nervous. She took her phone and read the text message, frowning and smiling amused. Surely it was from that Noah guy again.

_**"I'm sorry... Just, wait a minute. I have to answer this." **_She said still looking at her phone.

_**"Yeah, take your time."**_ I answered.

Well, at least she didn't notice that I read that text message and that was good. But she was now chuckling while typing the reply for whoever sent her a text. I wondered if I could make her smile and laugh that way sometime. After a while, she looked at me.

_**"Okay, you can now sing something."**_ She said smiling.

_**"Good, I have this song... I've never sung it before in front of someone."**_ I started saying a bit nervous. _**"This is a song that I wrote a time ago and well, I wanted to show it to you because it's really important to me... Originally, the song is meant to be played on a piano; but well, I think I can do it with this ukulele..."**_ I started saying really nervous. I wanted to show her the song I wrote for her and never had the chance to do it. _**"This is... this is for you..."**_ I said trying to calm down as she was looking at me intrigued.

_**"Okay, let's see..."**_ She said with a bright smile. I nodded and when I started playing the ukulele, her phone buzzed again. _**"I'm so sorry, I have to read this!"**_ She said now looking at her phone.

I stopped playing the ukulele to look at her, biting my lower lip. She was reading the text message and replying it while laughing cheerfully, completely ignoring all the things I told her about that this song was important to me. She didn't seem to really care about it; otherwise, she wouldn't be replying that text and laughing that way. It really made me feel sad; this was important to me, I was about to sing to her the song I wrote for her; the song I always wanted to sing to her because she was my inspiration, because it was directed to her. And there she was, replying a text message and laughing, thinking about something else, probably talking to that Noah guy, right when I was starting to sing that song. I was a complete idiot; I was just making a fool of myself. That was the moment when I fully understood what my friends were trying to say to me all this time: She was not interested on me; I was not important to her; she didn't care about me; I was a fool who was still feeling something for her; and I needed to move on without her. I looked at her sadly and then I looked down, still biting my lower lip while she kept sending that text message. Man, I was feeling really sad now that I realized all that my good friends were trying to say me to avoid this kind of situation in which I was the only one hurting.

_**"I'm so sorry! Now, you can play that song you wrote."**_ Freckles suddenly said.

_**"Yeah, I changed my mind."**_ I said still looking down. _**"I thought that the best would be if I just play something related to this weather." **_I said and then I looked at her. She was still with that amused smile. I hated that.

_**"Okay!"**_ She exclaimed cheerfully.

Damn, at least she could have pretended that she was interested on the song I was going to sing for her, on the song I wrote for her. I nodded and looked down again as I started to play the ukulele. I had the perfect song for the occasion.

_I'll never let you see_

_The way my broken heart is hurting me_

_I've got my pride and I know how to hide_

_All my sorrow and pain_

_I'll do my crying in the rain_

_If I wait for stormy skies_

_You won't know the rain from the tears in my eyes_

_You'll never know that I still love you so_

_Though the heartaches remain_

_I'll do my crying in the rain_

_Raindrops falling from heaven_

_Could never take away my misery_

_But since we're not together_

_I pray for stormy weather_

_To hide these tears I hope you'll never see_

_Someday when my crying's done_

_I'm gonna wear a smile and walk in the sun_

_I may be a fool_

_But till then, darling, you'll never see me complain_

_I'll do my crying in the rain_

_I'll do my crying in the rain_

_I'll do my crying in the rain_

_I'll do my crying in the rain._

When I finished singing the song, I frowned and put the ukulele aside; looking down. I couldn't believe that she kept sending text messages while I was singing; I couldn't believe she was laughing while I was singing something really sad that I truly felt. She used to only listen to me really pleasantly whenever I sang for her. But everybody was right: she was not the girl she used to be. Still, it hurt. I glanced surreptitiously at her since she wasn't saying anything. She was chuckling, looking at her phone. I looked at her intently. I wasn't in love with that girl that was in front of me. That girl over there? She wasn't the girl I loved, she wasn't important to me because I wasn't important to her. Then she finally looked up.

_**"That's a good song and I love your voice."**_ She said and I nodded silently, looking down and biting my lower lip. _**"But, don't you think it's a little bit gloomy? I mean, I understand you wanted to honor the rain. But there are other songs about rain that aren't sad. The song you just sang; it only will make you feel in a more crappy way."**_ She said softly and I let out a bitter and sarcastic laugh, still looking down and raising an eyebrow. No shit, Sherlock; I thought in my mind. _**"Give me the ukulele, I'll sing something more cheery, also in honor to the rain, I guess." **_She said with a giggle and I just handed her the ukulele, without looking at her. _**"Okay, here I go!"**_

She started playing the ukulele, but I just kept looking down, and then I looked through the window again. And she started singing with her mellow voice.

_When you get caught in the rain with nowhere to run_

_When you're distraught and in pain without anyone _

_When you keep crying out to be saved _

_But nobody comes and you feel so far away _

_That you just can't find your way home _

_You can get there alone _

_It's okay, what you say is _

_I can make it through the rain _

_I can stand up once again on my own _

_And I know that I'm strong enough to mend_

_And every time I feel afraid I hold tighter to my faith_

_And I live one more day and I make it through the rain _

_And if you keep falling down don't you dare give in_

_You will arise safe and sound, so keep pressing on steadfastly_

_And you'll find what you need to prevail _

_What you say is _

_I can make it through the rain _

_I can stand up once again on my own _

_And I know that I'm strong enough to mend_

_And every time I feel afraid I hold tighter to my faith _

_And I live one more day and I make it through the rain _

_And when the rain blows, as shadows grow close don't be afraid _

_There's nothing you can't face _

_And should they tell you you'll never pull through _

_Don't hesitate, stand tall and say _

_I can make it through the rain _

_I can stand up once again on my own _

_And I know that I'm strong enough to mend_

_And every time I feel afraid I hold tighter to my faith _

_And I live one more day and I make it through the rain _

_I can make it through the rain_

_And I live once again_

_And I live one more day _

_And I can make it through the rain _

_Yes you can_

_You will make it through the rain._

She finished singing the song and now I was looking at her. Her voice was fantastic, I was still amazed for that; she was a really good singer now; she failed sometimes with the chords; but still, it was great. And that was a really good song; it was something that maybe I needed to hear in that moment. I could stand up once again on my own and make it through the rain. Anyway, when she looked up to look at me, I looked through the window again. I really didn't want to make eye contact with her; I shouldn't fall for her again now that I finally understood how things were in fact.

_**"So?"**_ She asked softly.

_**"That was a good song and your voice is really sweet and mellow."**_ I opined, still looking through the window.

_**"Thanks."**_ She said softly and I could sense she was smiling, but I didn't dare to look at her. _**"I used to sing this song whenever I was having a crappy day last year; whenever I thought everything was going bad and nothing could get better. So, I thought that maybe, considering that you're having a bad day, it could work for you too."**_

_**"Yeah, it worked, I guess. Thanks."**_ I answered with a forced smile, still avoiding her gaze.

_**"You're welcome." **_She answered softly and after that there was an uncomfortable silence that she broke. _**"Hey Darren, you know... If you need someone to talk to about this shitty day you're having, you can do it with me."**_ She suddenly said and I looked at her abruptly.

She was looking deeply into my eyes and when she noticed I finally looked at her, she smiled friendly. I couldn't believe she said something nice after ignoring me minutes earlier. Well, maybe I've overreacted when I said she didn't care at all; maybe she did care at least a little. She was willing to listen to me, to be my support right now.

_**"That's so nice from you."**_ I said softly, smiling back at her. Yeah, I felt thrilled by what she said. _**"I'd like to talk to someone, but I really don't want to bug you..."**_ I started saying, now looking through the window again, frowning.

_**"Oh, come on, Darren. You won't bother me, really."**_ She insisted so I looked at her frowning, but then I smiled slightly.

_**"Okay, if you really don't mind..."**_ I said looking fixedly at her and she shook her head. _**"Okay, let's say that the shitty day starts with a dispute with your roommate and another friend. Like, it starts as a dispute but it's not a dispute, it's just something they said that made you feel bad and frustrated."**_ I started explaining, with no intentions to explain everything in depth because I didn't want to admit that almost this all was about her. She was indeed listening to me very intently. _**"You don't wanna screw it, so you just decide to go for lunch alone because you need to be alone. But when you get outside it's raining like hell and you don't have a damn umbrella and coat. So like that you have to keep going because you don't want to return to your room because you don't want to start the dispute again. So there you are..."**_ I kept explaining, venting all the anger I had until her phone buzzed and she looked at it while I was explaining my troubles.

_**"He's such a dork."**_ She laughed while reading the text message.

I looked at her in disbelief while she was replying that text message. If she didn't really want to listen to me, she just could have said it, instead making me feel like a fool by telling her my troubles while she was laughing at some stupid text message she received. This was kinda humiliating; I needed to stop making a fool of myself. Why would I think that she really cared about what I had to say? All this time she proved me that she didn't give a damn shit of what I had to say or not. See? That wasn't the person with who I fell in love; the person with who I fell in love always listened to me, always was caring and lovely, always showed me support and gave me encouragement. The girl in front of me was none of that. And I wasn't saying she was a bad person because I didn't know; I was saying that she simply didn't care about me unlike me, that I was all the damn time thinking about her. I was upset; I was disappointed, I was sad. And she was still laughing at the text of that guy that probably was Noah and probably was her lover or her fuck buddy. I was like a fool in the background of a stupid play called 'The pathetic life of the dumbass Darren Criss'. Fuck this all, I was sick of this.

_**"Sorry, you were telling me that..."**_

_**"You know? I just realized that it's too late and I have to attend a course."**_ I interrupted her frowning, standing up and leaving the wool quilt she gave me on the floor, while she was looking at me confused. _**"So yeah, I gotta go. Thanks for the coffee and all that shit."**_ I said lazily and I turned around, determined to leave that place and walk away from her.

_**"Hey Darren, wait!"**_ She yelled, but I didn't stop. So she ran behind me and took me by my wrist, I quickly let it out.

_**"What?"**_ I asked moody. I really wanted to go away.

_**"Sorry, did I do something bad that bothered you?"**_ She asked suspiciously, frowning.

Yes, I wanted to answer. Yes, you bothered me when I was telling you my troubles and you ignored me. Yes, I was upset because in Munising you told me that you used to listen to people and you didn't listen at me at all. Yes, I was feeling bad because you didn't care a damn shit about me while I cared about you all the fucking time. Yes, I was feeling completely down because I noticed your happy eyes when you read that text message; I was down because that was the way you used to look at me long ago. Yes, you broke my stupid heart when I was about to sing you a song that I wrote especially for you which showed all my feelings for you but you disregarded it, because it was way more important for you to reply a stupid text message from a guy that was making you laugh in a way I couldn't since we met again. I was really crestfallen because I finally realized that I meant nothing to you. I couldn't tell her all of those things, because, after all, she wasn't guilty. She was single; she was free to do whatever she wanted. I was the problem here; I was the only one who still couldn't get over her. So I just put out the nicest fake expression on my face that I could do and I forced a smile while inside I had this terrible pain in my chest.

_**"No, it's not you. I just have to attend the course and I'm late."**_ I lied with the falsest gentle voice I had. _**"I guess I'll see you around, now I gotta go. Take care, Freckles."**_

_**"Yes, you too."**_ She said almost in a whisper, frowning in confusion. She tried to hug me to greet me, but I stepped back.

_**"I'm so sorry, gotta go. Bye."**_ I said quickly and I turned around.

I left as fast as I could; I didn't care it was still raining hard; I just walked outside and ran to my room. A lot of people looked at me as if I were crazy for being running outside with this rain without an umbrella; but I didn't care. This crappy day was going to end eventually; but right now, I couldn't think in anything positive and I wasn't like that. I quickly arrived to my room and when I entered, Joey was there alone reading a book of American Theatre and Drama; Meredith was gone. He looked at me stunned when he saw the abruptly way in which I came in, but I didn't greet him. I just ran to the bedroom and I lay down in bed, covering my head with the pillow. Damn, damn, damn! I just wanted everything to stop.

_**"Hey, bro; is everything okay?"**_ Joey asked gingerly, entering in the bedroom.

_**"Yes."**_ I lied with choked voice. Shit, I didn't want to cry like a fool and less in front of my best friend.

_**"Hey man, are you crying?"**_ He asked worried and bewildered. I tried to speak clearly but I had the painful lump in my throat and now I wouldn't stop shedding stupid tears.

_**"No."**_ I lied again with cracked voice, burying my head on the mattress, still covering my head with the pillow.

_**"Oh sweet lord, you're crying."**_ Joey said stunned. He never saw me crying like this before. I noticed he sat on the edge of my bed and he was uncomfortable, he didn't know what to do; so he just placed a hand on my shoulder. _**"Hey man, what's wrong?"**_

_**"I'm no one to her! No one!"**_ I yelled while crying, finally uncovering my face and now looking at Joey, sobbing like an idiot. He looked at me aghast and confused. _**"And all this time I was this douchebag that was still fucking in love with her and couldn't get over her while she was already making her own fantastic life without me!"**_

_**"What are you talking about, buddy?"**_ He asked gingerly, frowning, still bewildered.

_**"Freckles."**_

_**"You saw her, didn't you?"**_ Joey asked gingerly and concerned.

_**"Yes, and we talked and shit. And she ignored me all the time while I was trying to talk to her about how I was feeling. She ignored me and she's with another guy! She didn't care about me; all this time since we fell apart, she never did."**_ I said still crying and Joey looked at me sadly, biting his lip. _**"And I should never have cared. But I did care. I cared a lot. And I still fucking care." **_I said sobbing, feeling sad and upset. _**"And that is so fucking frustrating!"**_

_**"I'm sorry, buddy."**_ He said sadly, placing a hand on my shoulder. I just looked at him distressed, shedding tears in silence. So he hugged me, and he never hugged me before. _**"Soon it'll get better; you just have to calm down, things will work out with or without her." **_

_**"I just want to stop caring; I just want to forget her."**_ I said crying on his shoulder as he was tapping my back. Then I parted to look at him. _**"Please, help me to forget her."**_ I begged and he looked at me stunned, raising his eyebrows.

_**"I... I don't think I can do that. You just can't forget her."**_ He answered and I looked down, biting strongly my lips. _**"But I can help you to keep going without her. And I will do it if that's what you want." **_He added and I looked at him thankful.

_**"Thanks, Joey, really."**_ I said weakly. _**"And sorry, for the stupid tears and all."**_

_**"Hey, that's fine. Everybody cries, even guys; so forget it."**_ Joey said shrugging and I nodded, looking down. _**"Just calm down, man. You'll find another woman, just not Kelly, please." **_He said frowning and I laughed faintly.

_**"No, definitely not Kelly."**_ I agreed.

After that, before going at class, I sent Jen a text message.

To Jen: **Jenny, I wish you could be here. I need you so much.**

* * *

So you were in your room after that weird encounter with Darren. Meredith was in the bedroom reading a book while you were sitting on the table, looking at the photos you took of Darren, trying to finish your assignment; you still had to write something about it. And you still didn't tell Meredith that you saw Darren and you had that super weird encounter. You wondered why he could have been having such a shitty day and why he wanted to go away all of a sudden.

"_**Hey Freckles, I have to go to class. See you later, okay?"**_ Meredith said with a bright smile. Before leaving, she turned to say another thing. _**"By the way, we, me and my friends, were thinking to go downtown tonight, at some nightclub and concert venue called the Blind Pig. Are you up for this?"**_

_**"Tonight? With this rain?"**_ You asked frowning.

_**"Oh yeah, right; you're right. Well, it wasn't decided; maybe we could leave it for tomorrow night. But would you come?"**_ She asked again.

_**"Yeah, I guess I could go. I still need to find out how the nightlife is here in Ann Arbor."**_ You said smiling slightly.

_**"Oh, you're gonna love it."**_ She said smiling brightly. _**"Alright, I really have to go now. See you later, Freckles!"**_

_**"See you. Have a good time."**_ You said kindly.

_**"Umm, I doubt I could have a good time with History of Theatre, but thanks anyway. I hope that your assignment of Digital Photography won't be such a pain in the neck."**_ She said laughing softly and so did you. _**"Okay, bye!"**_

Meredith turned around and left. So you were now looking at those photos you took, trying to pick one of them for your assignment. You liked the three of them, so it was hard to pick only one. Then you realized that your professor didn't clarify that it had to be only one photo; so maybe you could pick the first two pictures. In both of them, Darren was with your colorful wool quilt looking through the window with his coffee on his knees and the cheek on the coffee mug; but there was a difference between them. In the first one he seemed to be thoughtful and in the second one he seemed to be cheerful. Well then, you were going to choose those two photos. Now you had to think what to write and you were clueless. Did you have to write an essay, a technical text or an emotional text? Damn, it was annoying the fact that during the class you didn't have any doubt but in the moment you had to start working on it, all the doubts that could exist emerged. Well, for sure the professor wanted you to express emotions with the photos, so maybe you could write a mix of an essay with a poem or something like that. As searching for inspiration to write it, you looked intently at the first photo in which Darren seemed to be thoughtful. You observed his posture and tried to find out what the posture of his body could be expressing emotionally; then you zoomed in on his face. Wow, there was something that was producing you sadness; so you zoomed in on his eyes. He had almost empty and tired eyes, but mostly he had sad eyes; and his sight was kinda lost, as though he was deep in thought, just thinking or feeling something that was producing sadness to him. That was kinda heartbreaking. You wondered again why he could have been feeling like that; you never saw in him such sad eyes because usually he had happy eyes and when he was sad, he didn't even have this sorrowful expression in his eyes. Then you looked at the second photo in which he was laughing. That photo was more cheerful and perky; but again you zoomed in on his face. His laughter was amazing and very jaunty; but then you zoomed in on his eyes. There was a twinkle now, a particular bright; but there was still a hint of gloominess and sadness in his eyes. How was this possible? You remembered something that happened to you: You smiled even when you couldn't, but that didn't mean that your heart wasn't still broken. Then you remembered the song he sang, about the rain and about how his heart was broken and was hurting him and he was hiding it because of his pride. Maybe he really meant that song; maybe he wasn't doing it well, maybe he was feeling really bad. That was all you needed to realize to start writing.

**What's the rain? Is it only liquid water in the form of droplets that have condensed from atmospheric water vapor and then precipitated? Or is it also a phenomenon capable of producing a mental and emotional state in humans? Is it a meteorological phenomenon? Is it a state of mind? Is it a state of emotion? The rain, up above from the skies, comes as drops of joy and sorrow. In the rain, in sorrow and in pain, a boy cries in the rain. The boy hides under a colorful quilt, as an irony and contradistinction of the pain in his heart. Rain drops falling in his head and never knowing when it will end. He heard the rhythm of the raindrops dripping to the ground. He heard the rhythm of the raindrops dropping all around. He heard the rhythm of the raindrops drumming on the rafter. He heard the rhythm of the raindrops drowning out his laughter. He would love to dance and sing in the rain, knowing somehow it'll help erase the pain. He has bought grief's lottery, bought even the rain. No one can see him, crying in the rain. No one can see the tiny glow of sorrow in his eyes. No one can see what his heart hides behind those sad eyes. No one can see the rain in his heart. His life is cold, and dark, and dreary; it rains and the wind is never weary. His thoughts still cling to the moldering past, but the hopes of youth fall thick in the blast, and the days are dark and dreary. Be still, sad heart, and cease repining; behind the clouds is the sun still shining; thy fate is the common fate of all, into each life some rain must fall. Some days must be dark and dreary. Remember, rainy heart, when your days are cold and dreary may your warm-hearted heart bring you warmth, like the hot coffee warms you in a rainy day. Remember, rainy and sad heart, when the rain is over and the sun begins to glow, even little flowers start to bud, and grow and grow. And if the sun isn't coming, let me be the sun that brightens your heart; so then may your heart and spirit soar, little lovely heart.**

When you finished writing that short text, you decided to choose only the first photo. Now, looking at the photo, you decided to read what you recently wrote. You read it out loud and with calm voice. And when you finished reading it, you frowned.

_**"This is not good; this is terrible, I can't believe I wrote something so... poor and inconsistent. Besides, this seems as if I were writing like a love poem for him. What is wrong with me?"**_ You exclaimed out loud, still frowning. _**"Whatever, I won't change it. Stupid assignment."**_

You said and you left the digital camera and the text on your desk. You checked the time. It was 5:30pm and at 6pm you had to go to your next course. Honestly, you weren't feeling like going; but you had to. You changed your clothes because now it was cold outside; and then you left the room with your umbrella. It was still raining hard, so it was darker than usual. You arrived to your course History of 20th Dress and you looked for Noah, who said was your classmate; but he wasn't there. Maybe he wasn't taking this course. You were alone in that course and almost no one was there, probably because of the rain. Your professor arrived and this course turned to be the most boring course in the planet, it was even worse than Digital Photography. Those were tedious hours of listening to your professor talking nonstop about very boring and monotonous topics. When the course finished, you couldn't be happier. It was already 8pm and you didn't have any other course, so you just walked alone to your room again. But you walked very slowly because you missed doing this, walking in the rain. Somehow, walking in the rain was making you be very thoughtful and meditative. You couldn't stop thinking about Darren and it was a while since the last time you thought about him this much. But the odd encounter was making you wonder a lot of things.

_**"Oh my god."**_ You exclaimed loudly when you finally find out one of the possible options of why Darren could have gone all of a sudden that afternoon. _**"It was my fault."**_

You and he were moderately fine until you got down with the wool quilt for him. Since that moment you found him in a weird way looking through the window with that sad expression on his face. You, naive, thought that he was only thoughtful; thinking about the bad things that happened to him that turned his day into a shitty day. It wasn't because of that, you couldn't believe you didn't realize it before. You had a text message from Noah already read, and you thought it was you the one who read it and didn't pay attention while doing it. But Darren was the one who read it! Because you got that text message when you were in your room, looking for the quilt. Darren knew about Noah and that was why he was thoughtful. Maybe he was thinking that Noah was your lover or something because of the way he called you sexy girl; but Darren didn't know that it was a joke because of the way Noah called you the first day you met. Oh geez. Anyway, that was so inappropriate; he shouldn't have read your text message. But there were other things... Oh, no. Crap! You were such an idiot! You remembered that Darren was about to sing you a song he wrote and that it was important to him, but then he changed his mind. You believed him when he said he wanted to sing something about the weather. You stupid girl! It surely was because you got those funny text messages from Noah, who was at a stationery store in downtown, buying stuff for your courses of art and design and he offered to buy some things for you; so he was asking what you needed. You had to reply those text messages and you couldn't help laughing at his silly jokes. Surely Darren thought that you weren't interested on what he wanted to sing to you; but it wasn't like that. That was why he sang that sad song. Could he have sung that sad song for you? Could you have broken his heart? Oh, you were so stupid. And then, when he started telling you his troubles, but you kept receiving those texts from Noah. Surely Darren thought that you weren't interested on what he was telling you that was important to him and that was why he left all of a sudden; maybe that was why he had those sad eyes. It was everything because of your fault. And the worst was that he had reasons to feel mad or disappointed in you. Shit, you weren't like that; you really cared about what he was saying but you proved him the opposite. Holy shit, you weren't like this. Why have you done something so cruel? And you didn't even realize it until now. You only wished that Darren could have noticed it wasn't like that; but still, you were feeling bad with yourself and your stupid behavior. You needed to talk to someone about this and that person was Brian, he always knew what to say to make you feel better. So you just called him, while you were still outside, standing in the rain. He didn't answer, so you called him again. Nothing. You called him one third time.

_**"Hey, Sunny, I'm so sorry, but I'm busy and I can't talk right now."**_ He finally answered in a whisper.

He didn't even greet you. And you were already feeling very bad and sensitive, so that affected you more than it should. You didn't say anything at all; you just shed some tears and tried to avoid making any sound, so he wouldn't notice you were indeed crying. Why were you feeling like this? Lately you've been way too sensitive.

_**"Sunny?"**_ He asked and you took a deep breathe.

_**"I'm sorry; I didn't want to bother you. I'll call you later. Sorry."**_ You said in one breath and then you hung up.

You pouted to try to stop your crying, but you didn't get it. Geez, you were feeling so hypersensitive and brittle; just like a little girl. And you were still in the rain and you didn't even care, you really didn't want to come back to your room now and you didn't even want to have dinner. Your phone started buzzing and you checked it. It was an incoming call from Brian. You didn't answer, you couldn't talk and he was busy. He called you two more times. Then your phone buzzed again but it was a text message.

From Brian: **Sunny, pick up my call. **

You read his text message and you cried even more. You didn't know what was going on with you; you weren't even in your period, you shouldn't feel this sensitive. Your phone started buzzing again and it was Brian calling you; this time you answered the call.

_**"Sunny! What's going on?"**_ Brian asked worried and a bit severe now and you kept sobbing, you couldn't answer. _**"Hey, are you crying, Sunny? Hey, what's wrong?"**_ He asked softening his voice.

_**"I turned into a person I'm not, Brian! I'm not like this! I don't know what's wrong with me; I just don't wanna be like this! I just wanna be the person I used to be! Now I'm a bitch and cruel person and I hate it! I hate myself!"**_ You sobbed, throwing your umbrella on the grass because of your frustration and anger with yourself; so now the raindrops were falling in your head.

_**"What? Oh my god, Sunny; what happened? Why are you saying that?"**_ Brian asked confused but you didn't answer, you just kept crying; you needed to stop crying. _**"Sunny, do you want me to come over there? You know I can do it."**_

_**"No, no! You're busy and I don't want... I don't want to disturb you. I just... I just don't wanna come back to my room and I don't know... Oh, geez, you're busy and I'm disturbing you; I'm so sorry!"**_ You sobbed feeling even worse because you were worrying him with stupid things while he was probably doing something more important.

_**"Sunny, calm down! You're not disturbing me, okay? You could never disturb me."**_ Brian said softly but firmly. _**"I'll tell you what to do. I want you to take a cab and come over here, I'll pay for it. If you don't want to come back to your room, you can spend the night here; and don't worry because you'll have your own bed since my roommate is not living with me anymore because of a dispute. So please, just calm down and come over here."**_

_**"What? Isn't your roommate living with you anymore? Since when? Oh my god, you had a dispute with him and I never asked and I'm all the time talking about myself and you... you were having troubles and I didn't listen to you either. See? I'm a terrible person!"**_ You cried, feeling completely bad now. You couldn't believe that you did the same to Brian; you weren't able to listen to people and that was making you feel terrible.

_**"Stop that, Sunny!" **_Brian said very loudly and firmly and you just shut up, shedding tears in silence. _**"You're not a terrible person, that's crazy. And forget about the roommate, I never told you that, so it was my fault. Just please, calm down and take the cab. Can you do that, Sunny?"**_

_**"Yes, yes I can. Thanks... Thank you."**_ You sobbed.

_**"It's okay, I'll wait for you. Calm down."**_ Brian said softly.

You didn't think twice, as soon as you hung up with Brian, you took a cab that drove you to the Central Campus. You really needed to be with Brian but also you didn't want to disturb him; why would he be so busy? Why would he have a dispute with his roommate? What if he was also feeling bad and you never asked him anything? You were a bad, terrible friend. When you arrived to his residence, he was already there, outside with an umbrella, waiting for you. As soon as he saw the cab, he ran to there and paid for it; and when you got out of the cab, the first you did was to hug him. He hugged you back, but he quickly broke the hug.

_**"Let's go inside, better. It's raining like crazy!"**_ He said and you nodded, linking your arm with his and standing under his umbrella.

You walked silently to his room; you still didn't know how it looked like. His room was in the North Quadrangle residential and as soon as you entered, you got very surprised by the luxury of that place. As you kept walking, now through the corridor, you noticed it was everything very different than your residence. Not only because of the luxury of that place, but also because everybody was very quiet, you almost couldn't hear any sound and no one was talking in the corridors. You could quickly tell that this wasn't a residence in which students of arts, design, music or theatre lived. You liked how this place looked like, but you preferred your residence because of the people, maybe. Anyway, you arrived to Brian's room and as soon as he opened the door, you looked round, amazed. His room was way bigger than yours, it even had a kitchen; and the living room was a real living room, not like yours that had only one couch and a table with two chairs. Even if his living room and the dining room were in the same room, it was well defined which place was each one, since he had a real dining table and two couches.

_**"Wow, this is a good room."**_ You whispered amazed.

_**"Yes, it is; I can't complain. But I could use some of your awesome paintings to decorate it."**_ He said smiling slightly.

_**"I'd love that."**_ You answered smiling, wrapping an arm around him and resting your head on his chest. He wrapped an arm around you and he kissed your head.

_**"Come on, sit. I'll make coffee for us, so you can tell me what's going on. You don't look so good."**_ He said looking at you, frowning, apparently concerned.

You only nodded and walked to one of the couches, as Brian walked to the kitchen to make the coffees. You were still feeling bad, but now you were feeling a bit better because you were with your best friend. After a while, Brian came with the cups of coffee and sat next to you.

_**"Okay, here you have... A coffee with sweetener and cinnamon for you..."**_ Brian said smiling friendly, handing you the coffee and you smiled at him.

_**"Ah, the touch of cinnamon. I love that."**_ You said smiling and smelling the coffee in pleasure as he looked at you.

_**"Of course! Coffee with cinnamon is one of your favorites."**_ He said chuckling softly.

_**"I can't believe you remember all of those little things." **_

_**"Why wouldn't I remember? Next time I'll make you a Mocha coffee, your favorite. But right now I couldn't buy the ingredients to make it."**_ He said smiling and you chuckled, shaking your head.

_**"You're so sweet, I can't even."**_ You said chuckling and you kissed his cheek. When you did it, he smiled softly and looked into your eyes.

_**"You make me blush."**_ Brian joked and you giggled softly, taking a sip of your coffee.

_**"Ah, this feels so good."**_ You said closing your eyes and making a face of pleasure. When you opened your eyes and looked at Brian, he was looking at you fixedly. _**"What?"**_ You asked a bit amused because he was looking at you in a weird way. He quickly shook his head and looked away.

_**"Nothing."**_ He replied and you frowned in confusion. _**"I was just wondering what happened to you."**_ He said now looking at you again, worried.

_**"Oh, umm... Darren."**_ You answered looking down but you noticed that Brian looked down and nodded silently, biting his lower lip. Why would he do that? _**"I know what you're thinking and this time you're right."**_

_**"I... I'm not thinking anything."**_ He said babbling and frowning, looking at you again. _**"What happened with Darren?"**_

_**"I screwed it."**_ You said sighing sadly and you started feeling like a terrible person again.

So you started explaining him all that happened in the afternoon. You explained him how you felt after finding out why Darren could have been acting in a weird way and how it made you feel guilty and like a terrible person, because you surely hurt his feelings and worse yet, you could have broken his heart, considering the song he sang. You also told Brian about the photos you took of Darren and how his eyes looked so sad and it made you feel bad thinking that probably you were the one who made him have sad eyes. And you also told Brian that you hated what you did because you weren't like that and you acted like a heartless person, as though you didn't care at all what Darren had to tell you. Of course, you ended up shedding tears, but you found comfort when you rested your head on Brian's lap and wrapped your arms around his muscular body. At first he didn't move and he seemed to be uncomfortable by this, but at the end, when he noticed you were still crying, he started caressing your short hair as you buried your face on his stomach.

_**"Sunny, do not cry."**_ He said smoothly, still caressing your hair. _**"You didn't do it on purpose; if Darren is clever enough, he's gonna realize it. He could have been having a shitty day for other reasons that don't involve you, you know? You're not a terrible person, so stop saying that."**_

_**"But I am, Bri. He was trying to tell me his troubles and it seemed something hard for him to do, and I just acted like an idiot and I interrupted him when I decided to read those stupid text messages from Noah!" **_You said still sobbing. _**"Why? Why am I like that?"**_

_**"Hey, stop. You had to read those text messages, as you told me. Yes, maybe Darren felt bad for it, I won't deny it. But if he got mad at you for that, well, it's silly. Maybe he overreacted because he was being sensitive for the shitty day. But just because you did that in that moment doesn't mean that you're a terrible person; because you aren't, you're an amazing person." **_Brian said reassuringly.

_**"No, I am not. I'm awful."**_ You sobbed still burying your head in his stomach and wrapping your arms around him.

_**"Alright, enough. Come with me."**_ Brian said kind of bossy and he tried to stand up.

You moved and he stood up and handed his hand, so you took his hand as you were looking at him frowning in confusion. He helped you to stand up and he started walking holding hands with you. What was he doing?

_**"Why are we going to the bathroom?" **_You asked confused, wiping your tears away.

Brian didn't answer. He only led you to the bathroom in silence. Once you were there, he closed the door. You couldn't understand what he was doing, this was weird. But when he closed the door, you noticed there was a large mirror in the back of the door. He forced you to stand in front of the mirror and he stood behind you, placing his hands on your waist.

_**"Look at you."**_ He said in a whisper, looking at you through the mirror.

_**"Why are we doing this? This is weird."**_ You asked still confused, frowning.

_**"Just look at you and don't say anything."**_ He whispered again, looking straight in your eye reflected on the mirror.

You did what he said and you started to look at yourself in the mirror. You still didn't know why Brian wanted you to do this, so yeah, you just looked the way you were dressed and how haggard your face looked because of the crying. Damn, you actually looked terrible.

_**"I see a beautiful girl there."**_ Brian whispered, still looking at your reflection in the mirror and you frowned.

_**"I look like Helena Bonham Carter in Sweeney Todd and she even looks better than me."**_ You answered and Brian chuckled softly.

_**"Your occurrences impress me."**_ He said softly and you smiled slightly.

Then Brian wrapped his arms around your waist and rested his chin on your shoulder and looked into the reflection of your eyes in the mirror. He stayed silent for a long time, just observing you as you were looking at him, also his reflection in the mirror. He was looking at you in a weird way, but it was a sweet way, maybe a friendly way. You placed your hands on his hands that were holding you and he gulped and shifted his gaze, making a weird grimace. But then he looked into your eyes again. It was weird to be there, just looking your figures in the mirror in silence. You still didn't know exactly what you were doing there.

_**"Look into your eyes and try to see what your eyes cannot see."**_ Brian whispered in your ear after a while and you shivered because you weren't expecting him to talk. But you did what he said and you looked into your own eyes. _**"I see this pretty girl that looks sad right now, but only because her kind-hearted heart makes her think that she made a terrible mistake with someone. She thinks she is only hurting people and for that she feels as though she were a terrible person. But what she cannot notice is all the good she is making to people around her with her kindness, cheerfulness and loveliness. I see and I can feel all the sweetness and niceness she inspires to people. I can see a girl that always cares about others without expecting anything in return; a girl that does it because she dreams with a better world and because she believes in the power that a smile, a hug, and a nice gesture have that can turn someone's life for better."**_ Brian kept whispering in your ear in a very sweet way as you started shedding some tears in silence, still looking into your own eyes. _**"I see a humble girl that is all the time trying to be a better person, more than she already is; but she constantly feels frustrated because she's too hard on herself. If only she could see how lovely she is..."**_ Brian whispered in your ear.

You noticed he closed his eyes as he nuzzled his nose in your neck, something that made you shiver. Anyway, you didn't move, you kept staring your reflection in the mirror, still shedding tears. What he was saying was very thrilling for you and you were feeling moved. Then he opened his eyes again and looked at you again, this time he had a twinkle in his green eyes.

_**"And I wish I could tell her that I..."**_ He started whispering with cracked voice and that was weird. Brian almost never cried. Then he gulped and shook his head. _**"I wish I could tell her..."**_ He repeated with the same cracked voice.

Apparently he was having troubles to say something, but you didn't say anything, you were just listening. He looked down for a while, biting his lower lip and frowning. Maybe he wanted to say something important and sweet and this was hard for him, because usually he had troubles to say sweet things; you didn't know why, though. Then he sighed and looked into your eyes again.

_**"I wish I could tell her and make her realize that only her presence can turn someone's life without even the need of talking. Because she's that, she's inspiration. Even if she doesn't believe it; people who know her know that she is perfect, even with her flaws and mistakes."**_ Brian whispered softly and smiled sweetly before kissing your cheek.

You looked at Brian's reflection in the mirror and smiled fondly at him while tears were still streaming down your face; but those weren't sad tears as before. You were really moved at his words. You turned around and you hugged him tightly, burying your head on his chest as he wrapped his arms around you and kissed your head. His heart was beating fast, just as yours; maybe he was also moved. He caressed your hair very smoothly as he rested his head on yours.

_**"Thank you a lot, Bri. Thank you."**_ You said in all honesty, still burying your head on his chest and hugging him tightly.

You broke the hug to look into his eyes and you caressed his cheek softly, with a fond smile. He only looked intensely into your eyes with his green and deep eyes; there was something weird in his eyes, maybe it was that twinkle you never saw before. You smiled at him and he smiled back, slightly.

_**"Thank you, for all you said."**_ You said softly, still caressing his cheek. _**"What would I do without you?"**_ You said chuckling softly and hugged him again. _**"You know? You'd be the perfect boyfriend for me."**_ You tried to joke, but Brian only giggled nervously, as if he was uncomfortable with that comment. Maybe he believed it and he didn't like it. _**"You know, that was a joke. You're my best friend and I wouldn't change you for anything in the world." **_

_**"It's fine... You are... You're my best friend too and I wouldn't change you for anything in this world. Never."**_ He whispered.

_**"I love you, Bri."**_ You said with a smile, still hugging him.

_**"I... I love... I love you too."**_ He babbled and then he kissed your head. You smiled a bit amused because Brian wasn't used to say those things, but you were glad he said that because it was what you needed to hear from your best friend. _**"What? Why are you smiling and looking at me that way?"**_ He asked suspiciously when he saw you.

_**"Nothing, it's just nice to hear you saying that. It's not something I get to hear every day."**_ You answered still smiling a bit amused.

_**"Well, do not get used at it."**_ He said frowning but then he giggled softly. _**"Well, now I think we can come back to the living room."**_

_**"Yeah, okay."**_ You said smiling softly, wrapping an arm around him. Brian just looked at you. _**"What?"**_

_**"Nothing... Just, are we supposed to walk like this to the living room?"**_ He asked with an amused smile now.

_**"Yes, I'm forcing you and I force you to wrap an arm around me."**_ You said bossy, grabbing his arm and wrapping it around you.

_**"Okay, boss, at your command."**_ He said jokingly and you laughed.

Brian and you sat on the couch again and this time you sat very close to him, resting your head on his shoulder as you forced him to wrap an arm behind you. You knew he was never comfortable with this, but it was as if you needed a bit affection lately; so he apparently understood and he let you do all of those things. Somehow, he always could find the way to understand you and comfort you. So he was now caressing softly your shoulder with his thumb, in silence.

_**"Brian, you know? I just don't know if I can be friends with Darren again, even if he's telling the truth, even if he's nice and all... I just don't know if I can be his friend."**_ You said thoughtful.

_**"What do you mean? Please, tell me the truth. Do you still feel something for him?"**_ Brian said now looking at you.

_**"No. No, I don't feel anything for him." **_You replied shaking your head, frankly. _**"I just don't know if I can be friends with him, like... I don't know, everything is different now. It doesn't feel like before, not even like when we were only friends in high school."**_ You said almost in a whisper.

_**"Well, of course; you changed and he changed, you both grew up. But why would it avoid being friends with him?"**_ He asked curiously.

_**"Because I can't avoid thinking all the time about all the things he did to me, the way he made me feel when he left me. I try; and I try to be nice to him, but somehow I can't."**_ You answered frowning. _**"It's like sometimes the littlest thing in life changes something forever and there will be times when you wish you can go back to how things used to be but you just can't because things have changed so much."**_ You said and Brian looked at you frowning in silence for a while.

_**"Sunny, can you leave it all behind? Cause you can't go back. Just because someone messes up once doesn't mean that within time they can't find a way to change for the better. So leave it behind, all the things he has done, and give him a chance to show you the way he is now; maybe Darren has changed for the better."**_ Brian said serious, looking at you.

_**"Yes, but... I..."**_ You started saying frustrated.

_**"Yes, I know this is hard for you. But you have to believe that he's good at heart just as the same way you believe that everybody is good at heart, despite everything. That is one of the best things of you; do not change that because of Darren." **_Brian said softly. _**"And I know you're confused and I understand you're acting in a way you aren't and that is not because you've changed and you're now a bad person and you hate it. No. You're acting like that because you're scared, so you try to put distance between people, and that is what you're doing with Darren. And let me ask you; of what are you so scared?"**_

_**"I'm scared that I can fall in love with him again and I don't want it."**_ You confessed with teary voice. Brian looked at you stunned and he gulped. He looked down for a while and then he looked at you again, and this time he held your hands.

_**"And if you fall in love with him again, you'll fall for him and that's it. If you fall for him again, that's because you finally realized that at the end he's worth your love; because I know you aren't so dumb to fall for a guy who is an ass. Don't be scared for that; be scared of not loving anyone ever. That's scary."**_ Brian said looking deeply into your eyes, still holding your hands. _**"Besides, if you close yourself when he's around, you'll never know what's going to happen. Maybe you're gonna fall for him again because he's a good guy and he makes you feel good; or maybe none of that is gonna happen and you could maybe have a new friend because you indeed don't feel anything for him and he doesn't feel anything for you. But you won't know it if you keep being scared. And being scared is hurting you."**_

_**"Yes, I guess you're right."**_ You said shrugging, looking down.

_**"Hey, come on, change your face."**_ Brian said softly, lifting your chin so you could look at him. _**"Listen, I promise that if you stop being scared, everything will be fine. Maybe you'll find out that Darren is the one for you; maybe you'll find out that he's a good guy but just as a friend; or maybe he's gonna hurt you. But in case that comes to happen, you know that you'll always have someone who's gonna make you coffee with cinnamon, will give you chip cookies, will lend you a shoulder to cry on and is gonna try the best to comfort you; and that person is me, your best friend."**_ He said encouragingly, smiling kindly. You looked at him with tenderness.

_**"Why are you always so sweet with me?"**_ You asked hugging him tightly.

_**"Isn't it obvious?"**_ Brian replied in a whisper and then he sighed.

You broke the hug to look at him frowning. He was looking deeply into your eyes, in that weird way.


	41. You were never

A/N: Hi everybody! How are you all doing today? As I promised, I'm updating also on Saturday as I promised. I'm glad you liked the unexpected update! Hey guys, have you all signed up on Darren's website for his big announcement? I think we all know what his big announcement is, but still! Now, back to the story... I think, considering what I read in the reviews in general, that we have like two teams now, you can call it Team Darren and Team Brian. Yes, that's right. Some of you ship Freckles/Darren and some of you Freckles/Brian; and some of you had suspicions about this. Well, I told you things were going to get more complicated! Could this be a love triangle? I don't know, it's time to see if Brian likes Freckles indeed or if he was just being a good best friend. Anyway! This chapter is kind of special, because in this chapter, for the very first time, you'll get Brian's point of view; so you'll find out what's in his mind! This doesn't mean that from now on you'll get always Brian's pov; no, you'll get it only in special moments. I don't know, I found interesting that you could read his point of view, as a way to know more about him because you don't know that much about him and his character will play like an important role in the story. Let me know what you think! A warning for this chapter is that it contains a lot of drama, but maybe also funny things, so I hope you can enjoy it! Alright, those are the announcements I wanted to say. Now I can start replying you!

MeMi83: Don't worry you couldn't review before, it's alright, I totally understand that you were busy! So, don't feel bad, seriously! I do have Twitter! Find me as lucysamb! I'd like to follow you, so let me know it's you! I must warn you that I don't use it too often, though! Well, about Brian: I'm glad you liked to find out more things about him because you'll find out more things about him in this chapter, so I hope you like it. And yes, maybe he likes her! But what way does he like her? Brian is quite a complex character and you'll find it out within time. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this new chapter despite the oh so beloved drama. Now, I'm sending you tons of virtual chocolate ice cream and unicorn colorful sparkles!

AnSofiekeeeh: haha I'm glad you liked the surprise update! I was thinking that maybe, if I write the enough as I should be doing but I'm not doing, I could make some of those unexpected updates from time to time. Now I really hope you can enjoy this new update!

Guest: You're very welcome! Thank you a lot for considering the last chapter as sweet besides it was kind of sad! I'm glad you did! I'm dramatic, but I like to write sweet things too, after all, very deep in my heart I'm corny! Yes, maybe Brian's feelings are very obvious! Very. But you still have to find out what kind of love he feels for her, and you'll find it out within different chapters. I think you aren't the only one who thought Brian was in love (maybe, maybe not) with her. But maybe you're the first one who thinks this since the high school chapters! And you were right, you'll find out with time if you're wrong or right! What would you like to read, though? haha I'm intrigued, I always am!

Vicky: Do you really think it was sweet? Thanks! haha the joke about Medusa! I will be honest and I'll admit that Blaine inspired me to write it, I took it from the prom episode of the 3th season. Yes, Freckles was kind of cruel when she acted that way around Darren but at least she realized and admitted it. Uh, Darren forgetting Freckles? Let's see if it works or not, maybe some things will happen in this chapter and you'll know more about Joey's way to help him in the next chapter. Brian loves Freckles? Or he likes her? Does he likes her as a friend or more than that? Ah! haha, you'll understand his whole feelings within several chapters. Did you know it from the start? Maybe he was obvious. Thing is that maybe this will complicate everything. Embrace the drama, Vicky!

Emma: This is your first review, I think, so first off let me thank you for reading my silly dramatic story! I'm glad you do and I hope I can make you feel interested enough to keep reading it! Thanks for saying I'm a good writer! I'm not a writer, though! I'm just a fangirl writing stuff about Darren because somehow I want to write down the imagination in my mind (imagination that everybody has) and share it with you! Also thanks for saying I'm doing a good job despite my hideous grammar mistakes because english is not my first language. It's always so hard for me and I often feel ashamed of it. I wish I could have a sort of translator to avoid those embarrassing grammar mistakes! haha. Someday and somehow I'll learn how to write it properly and stop making a fool of myself! Seriously, I have a problem with that because I hate reading grammar mistakes in spanish (my first language), so I think it's the same for you. I'd love updating every Wednesday from now on, but unfortunately I can't do that! That's because I don't have much time to write because I'm in college doing my final thesis and it demands me a lot of time. But what I can do is to update one Wednesday a month, as a surprise! Maybe I can do it if I find inspiration and start writing again (lately I'm lazy). Anyway, thank you a lot for your words and I really wish you like this story! San Francisco? Ah! What a wonderful place and more knowing Darren is from there! Well, lots of love from Argentina, Emma!

alicegursk: Yes! It was sad for me too writing about Darren crying with his heart broken! Like no matter what people believe, I know boys cry too! Because I feel remorseful, I promise I'll bring a glue to mend your broken heart! We can stick it! And maybe, eventually, you'll have a happy heart when you get to read something sweet on this story! But, sadly, eventually. With time they'll be happy together, I guess, but maybe not in a very conventional way! You said it, I said it, I'm an insane woman drama queen! First I have to talk to the FBI so they will get me Darren's number, or I'll have to blackmail him! What option is better? Make sure to provide him lots of Minute Maid apple juice and also some fun times! ;)

Vcriss: You're very welcome! I hope you enjoyed it! Now that you mention it, maybe I agree with you, maybe Freckles is acting like Kurt, like ignoring Blaine or Darren in this case. I didn't even notice that I was writing it as if it was Kurt and Blaine! I didn't know that Klaine was getting married! Yes, I read something about a ring, but I always thought it was symbolic! I mean, it's kind of weird that Blaine is gonna propose Kurt considering their actual relationship. Maybe it's fate as you said, but still it's weird. Yes! Brian likes Freckles, let's see what way. I also think it's cute (you surely think this is weird from me to say because I'm the writer). I ship Freckles and Brian; I love them when they're together. But Freckles and Darren are my OTP; after all, this whole story is about them, right?

amritsoomal: I did miss you! For a moment I thought you weren't reading this anymore! Ouch! Exams time, I fully understand. They're a pain in the ass and always make you have so little free time. How was it? If you didn't do them yet, I wish you good luck! Poor Brian! Do not hate him; he's not a bad guy like the bitch of Kelly is. I don't wanna be virtually slapped, so I'll say that Brian wasn't trying to say that to Freckles; it may or may not be true. Anyway, I won't spoil you anything and I'll let you find out within time what Brian feels or not for her. I haven't thought about Kelly being related to Freckles, but it'd have been interesting! As you said, to fuck with people's brains! haha. Maybe someday Freckles will meet Kelly, though. And... There's something behind Kelly. About Freckles and Darren, my lovely ones, their relationship will be complicated, sometimes for good sometimes not; and maybe, possibly, they'll fall for each other again. But things may happen in between. Is the teacher really related to Jim? There's something that anyone knows yet about this whole thing, something I'll keep as a mystery! Oh yeah, you'll know who Joey's hook up was, but you'll have to wait a lot of time to find it out. Are you thinking about someone in particular? Don't worries about rambling, I also always do it! And it's really amazing the fact you assume things because of your active imagination, so don't you dare to be sorry for that! I love when you assume things! Okay happy bunny, I hope you enjoy this chapter as soon as you get the chance to do it! Good luck with your exams!

Nicole: Thank you for the virtual cookie and the unexpected but great redvines, draco-nicole! I'll share them with you and Dora if you find her again! haha will your craziness win you? I'll cast some spells so you'll be able to be patient! I hope it works! Don't worry about typing curses, because as you surely noticed, I curse a lot and I like it for some odd reason. I'll help you to virtually punch Kelly! Maybe her story is a good one, or maybe is bad one, or maybe it's just complicated and it'll be up to the readers' opinion. But other things will happen before you get to know her story! It was really sad to write about Darren crying, because I guess it's sad to see a boy crying since we don't get to see it too often. He really cares about her, don't you think? Anyway, this eventually will get better for him. Ah! Love triangles! I always wanted to write about it. But maybe this is not a love triangle, or yes. I'll tell you a secret: I ship Freckles and Brian; but I may or may not write something about them. Anyway, Darren and Freckles will always be my OTP because this is their story! Does this remind you to Klaine? You're the second person who tells me so! Maybe I was thinking about them while writing, I have no idea! I didn't know they were getting married! I did know about the ring and proposal, but not about the marriage! I love it, but I gotta admit it's weird considering how their relationship is right now! I hope things work out for them. And let me tell you something: I remember...Fuck that year! Slytherdor! haha oh gosh, this made laugh like a goofball! Are you a Slytherine on Pottermore? I'm a Hufflepuff (what the hell is a Hufflepuff?). Butterfly kisses and hugs, my so-reviewer draco-nicole!

Caroline Boeira: Caroline, really, don't worry! I missed you, but I completely understand you were busy. I think this is a crazy and absurdly busy time for all of us! So you're forgiven and don't apologize for it again! Yes, maybe Brian likes Freckles, you'll find out more things about Brian in the next chapters. And maybe yes, maybe it's gonna be a little bit crazy! Ah, maybe it'll be a love triangle, maybe it'll be just a relationship of best friends or maybe none of the two options. Surprise! haha. Freckles is pretty confusing, hell yeah; maybe she's bipolar, who knows? Nah, I think she has serious troubles, maybe something she's keeping inside. This could complicate things. I know! It was sad to write Darren's feelings, to write how sad and heartbroken he was feeling. I kinda admire your mom now; my mom cannot even send a text message. Okay yeah, she can, but she's not so used at it, I can't get why. So I find it kind of funny the way your mom sends texts messages! haha I wish I could have a crazy family, I bet it must be cool. Maybe you can call it my wicked drama! Ah! Yes it is very wicked. My mind's fault, I must to clear up. It's good to know that you missed it, because I missed it too and the next chapters will be full of drama. Of course I'll write some funny or sweet things here and there, but drama in all its levels will be the priority! Haha.

GleeKof1: Oh, I can tell someone really likes Brian! I like Brian too, he's sweet and cute. Just wait to get to know more about Brian and let's see if you keep thinking the way you think now. Do you want me to make Freckles fall in love with him? Does this mean you ship Freckles/Brian instead Freckles/Darren? Well, I don't know if that is what you meant (I tend to misinterpret things), but somehow I assumed it when you said they're adorkable, you wanted someone like Brian and you wanted Freckles to fall for him! Ah, things will happen between Freckles and Brian, but I won't spoil what kind of things will happen between them. But for sure Brian starts being an important character in the story for different reasons, so from now on you'll get a lot of Brian. Maybe I'll consider updating one Wednesday a month, as a surprise! So at least once a month you'll get something to look forward to during hard weeks!

Mockingjay-Potterhead-9: For everything related to sports I'm clumsy and stupid. My friends always joke about it. I'd really like if you become my teacher! You'll have to be a very patient one and deal with my fears! haha I'm like a little kid scared while doing things I've never done before. Since you were only two years old? Oh my god! You were so little! It's amazing, though! I bet is one of the most wonderful things to do, skiing. My unicorn is fine, but he's reluctant to learn to be as a real unicorn prince, he's a kind of a dork! I had to scold him several times, I don't know what's wrong with him, I bet he has a secret he hasn't told me yet. But he's friendly and cute; I know he wants to meet your unicorn! So I'm also positive they will fall in love! If I can (for some odd reason I can't post links) I'll send you a picture of Sparkles so you can show it to your unicorn! I do have one more book that it's excellent and I forgot to tell you. This book made me cry like an idiot, and I almost never cry with books, so go figure. I don't know if you're gonna get it, but it's called 'My sweet-orange tree' by Jose Mauro De Vasconcelos. It's one of the most touching books I've ever read. Well, the books I recommended are very different genres, and some of them are hard to read! But italian is cool! Actually italian is very similar to spanish. So, if you ever want to learn at least few words, don't doubt to ask me! I'm from Argentina, it's in Latin America. Oh Harry Potter! How would I forget about them? They're my favorites too. I remember I read each book in four days. They're my childhood/adolescence! Harry Potter is like everything and I'm in love with the books, not so much the movies, the books are truly amazing! The Help is such a great book! It's very touching and it's kind of a heartbreaking story. It's good mainly because it shows a reality that happened. You are wise with your elections! Well now to the story, so you have been suspecting that Brian was into Freckles, eh? Maybe you were right; you'll find it out in this chapter and more in the next chapters. It'll be complicated, what do you think? And yes, as the one who's writing this, it was sad to write Darren's feelings. And I completely loved your opinion about this. It's kind of unfair that everywhere everybody shows how women suffer and are heartbroken and cry their heart out. But men also suffer, they also feel heartbroken and they also cry; I witnessed this with some of my male friends and even my boyfriend. And it's really heartrending to see a boy crying, it's sadder to see a guy crying than a girl crying; and I think it's like that because of this absurd prejudice we all have that boys are supposed to be strong, not sensitive and people who never cry. It's ridiculous. They don't show it, but they can feel weak, meek and they also struggle with these kinds of situations, they also can feel their heart broken. So thank you for appreciating it! Did you really like what Freckles wrote about the picture and the rain? I thought it wasn't good, like it was kind of... I don't know how to call it... lame? Or poor? I don't know! So you made me smile when you mentioned you liked it. Oh gosh, I'm talking too much and I'm surely boring you and I should totally let you read this chapter! I'm sorry!

Okay guys, that was all for today! I really hope you can enjoy this new chapter. Let me know what you think about this, be nice, be cruel, be sweet, be harsh, be as you want to be! Vent it all! Alright, I'll stop. I wish you all a super duper awesome week full of Darren's curls that have the cure for cancer! Until next week!

* * *

**Teenage Dream – Chapter 41 – You were never.**

* * *

_**"Brian? Why did you say that?"**_ You asked looking at him a bit suspicious because of the weird way he was looking at you.

He looked at you a bit nervous now, looking away and moving his lips without uttering a word. Why was acting so weird? Then you remembered it. He also was having troubles and maybe he also needed affection like you, but he was ashamed to ask for it because he wasn't used to show his feelings. Surely it was that.

_**"Well, because it's obvious... I mean, you're my best friend. Of course I'll be nice to you."**_ He answered slurring his words and you looked at him fixedly.

_**"You know, Brian? There's nothing wrong with showing your feelings."**_ You said gently, holding one of his hands. He looked at the hand you were holding for a while. He was still nervous.

_**"I... I don't know why... I don't know why you're mentioning that..."**_ He said still nervous. His voice was trembling. So you were sure he was like this because of the troubles he was having.

_**"Just because of that... There's nothing wrong if you're feeling bad or stressed about something. You should tell me what's happening. It's me, Brian, you shouldn't be ashamed. Just tell me that you want to tell me but you don't know how."**_ You said looking fixedly into his eyes, still holding his hand. He was looking at you nervously, and he gulped.

_**"I... I don't know how to... I mean... I can't do that."**_ Brian said very nervously, looking at you. You didn't say anything; you just remained looking at him fixedly; so then he sighed. _**"Sunny, I'm in..."**_

_**"You're in troubles, right?"**_ You said when you noticed he couldn't talk, so maybe you could help him to say it. He looked at you agape and a bit terrified. Why? _**"You're in troubles but you don't know how to say it to me, right? Is it about your roommate?"**_

_**"Yeah! That!"**_ He exclaimed absurdly loudly, with his eyes wide open. _**"Yeah, it's about my roommate..."**_ He said in a whisper and looking away now.

_**"Bri, you know you can talk to me about it. You shouldn't feel ashamed of showing me how you feel about that."**_ You said softly, looking at him. _**"I'd like to know what's worrying you."**_

_**"Yeah, well, I don't wanna worry you with this stuff."**_ Brian said still looking away.

_**"Hey, Bri; you're gonna worry me if you don't tell me."**_ You said gently and he kept looking away. _**"And please, look at me."**_ You said softly and he did so.

Brian had sad eyes now and you started feeling guilty because of that, because you remembered Darren's sad eyes. Enough. This was about Brian, your best friend who was going through a bad moment; it wasn't time to think about Darren, it was ridiculous.

_**"Can you tell me, please?"**_ You begged softly and he sighed.

_**"We had a dispute and he just left. That's why I couldn't talk to you this morning." **_Brian answered, looking down again.

You moved closer to him and you wrapped your arms around him, resting your head on his chest and looking up to see his eyes. You knew that most probably he needed this, even if he wouldn't say it. He held you in his arms, but he kept looking away.

_**"But a dispute about what?"**_

_**"Well, it was because I couldn't pay my part of the rent and food the last two months, you know. So he was tired of it and yeah... he left."**_ Brian said gloomy, biting his lower lip and frowning. _**"I tried to tell him that I was going to repay him his money, but that I couldn't pay it for now; but he refused to believe it." **_

_**"I don't understand." **_You said frowning in confusion. _**"Why wouldn't he believe you? I thought you guys were friends. And why couldn't you pay your part? I mean, I thought your dad was promoted in his current job." **_

_**"Well yeah, apparently we weren't friends as I thought. He just didn't believe it, he said that I was being unrealistic and... Whatever."**_ He said frowning, apparently feeling distressed but also disgusted. _**"And there's no current job anymore, Sunny. That's why I couldn't pay for it. I'm trying to look for a job, you know, but..."**_

_**"Wait, wait, wait!"**_ You exclaimed aghast, now sitting upright as Brian kept placing his hands on your waist. He was looking down sadly. _**"How's that there's no current job? What are you trying to say?"**_

_**"My dad got fired, Sunny."**_ Brian replied distressed and you looked at him thunderstruck.

_**"Why haven't you told me?"**_ You asked loudly, feeling upset with yourself because you never asked him how his dad was doing, but also a bit upset with Brian because he should have told you.

_**"Because I didn't want to worry you. You were already way too stressed with this thing of Darren and all... I just didn't want to worry you."**_ Brian replied softly.

_**"Screw Darren, Brian! This is super important, you should've told me!"**_ You exclaimed loudly, almost yelling. Damn, you were all the time telling him stupid things about Darren while he was going through a real shitty situation.

_**"I'm so sorry."**_ He said with cracked voice, now looking at you distressed.

He had teary eyes and he never had teary eyes and he never cried in front of you, so he was indeed feeling bad. Now you felt guilty for having yelled at him, so you hugged him. He buried his head on your shoulder and you knew he was silently crying because you felt the tears on your shoulder. You caressed his soft straight hair and you rubbed his back to reassure him.

_**"It's okay, Bri. I was just surprised by the news. I'm sorry; I didn't mean to treat you bad." **_You whispered softly, still caressing his hair; but he was still crying silently. _**"But how come this happened? Your dad was recently promoted, I do not understand."**_

_**"It was because of his Parkinson's disease."**_ He replied with teary voice, still with his head on your shoulder. You knew he didn't want you to see him crying, so you let him doing that. _**"His disease is getting worse and the medicines aren't having effects, even if the doctors are trying their best. The tremors, the difficulty maintaining balance and gait, the stiffness of the limbs and trunk, and the slowness of movement are getting worse and he began to have difficulty walking, talking, and completing other simple tasks. So, at his work he was having difficulty using a keyboard, writing, manipulating manuals, and filing, besides having difficulty communicating effectively. So his boss told him that he couldn't perform his job satisfactorily and also told him that he had an obligation to keep the business running, so he just fired my dad because he wasn't useful."**_ He said crying and you were feeling really anguished and mad because of all of that. _**"You know, he's trying to get another job, but it's being really hard because of his disease. And the medicines are very expensive and he can't afford it all: the medicines, the special food he has to eat, the rent and bills of our home; and in addition to that, there's the rent and food for me for college. It's too much! And I'm looking for a job here, but it's hard to find one and... And maybe I'll have to drop out college until everything stabilizes."**_ Brian said crying and his whole body was shaking. When you heard his words, you shocked.

_**"What? No, don't you dare, Brian! No!"**_ You exclaimed disconcerted because of all the things he said. It was a bunch of terrible news.

_**"I'll try my best to find a job, but I think there aren't many chances. Even if I find a job it'll be a part-time job and I won't earn all the money I need to afford all of the things: college expenses and the cost of medicine for my dad. I can't..."**_ Brian said trying to control his crying, but he couldn't and it was reasonable because this was really terrible.

You were really shocked but you tried to think and reason everything. So then you moved away to look into his eyes; he refused at first and tried to look down, but you lifted his chin softly. When you finally could look into his eyes, it was heartbreaking. His usual happy green eyes were now depressed green eyes and he wouldn't stop crying silently. Whoa, you never saw him crying this way, it was very distressing. You held his hands and you squeezed them while still looking into his eyes.

_**"Listen to me, Bri. You're gonna get over this and you'll see that sooner or later everything is gonna be fine, I believe it." **_You said firmly and he shook his head, trying to look away, but you softly turned his head again so he would remain looking at you. _**"If you cannot afford all of that because neither your dad nor you can find a job, then I'll help you." **_

_**"No..."**_ He murmured weakly, looking down.

_**"Yes, I will."**_ You said firmly, lifting his chin again. _**"If you can't pay the rent of this room and you can't pay the food; then I'll move here and I'll pay all of that stuff. After all, we were going to share the same room and now it's the right time to do it." **_

_**"No, do you really think I'll let you pay everything? No. Sunny, please, don't make this harder."**_ He said with choked voice. Damn, his voice was so distressing.

_**"I don't care if you'll let me doing that or not. I will do it anyway and will do it gladly. Brian, I won't let you dropout college. And I have the money to pay for all of that, so I'm gonna do it and I won't let you repay me, even if you insist. And if you ever find a job, anyway I won't let you pay anything; you'll give that money to your dad for his medicines and the rent and bills."**_ You said firmly and roundly.

_**"No, Sunny, no."**_ He refused strongly, still shaking his head.

_**"Brian, listen to me! I have the possibility to do this, so I'm gonna do this, want it or not. I'll move here and I'll pay everything and I don't want you to refuse, because you know I'll do it for you anyway; you know that I'll do everything for you. Because I love you and I want the best for you and I know this is the best for you and surely your dad will think this is the best for you too. Wouldn't you like to see your dad proud of his son who could make it in the roughest times to get his degree?"**_ You asked looking into his eyes and he sobbed even more, biting his lower lip.

_**"That's the most I want."**_ He said with cracked voice.

_**"Then you'll make him proud. Let me help you, Brian, please. I want to help you because I love you and I'm not one of those people who walk away from the loved people when things get rough. I want to do this but I don't want to make you think I'm forced to do this, because I'm not. I want you to stay and accept my help that is the farthest of being a burden. I'll do it because I really, really want the best for you and also because I wouldn't be able to be away from you. Please, Brian, please."**_ You begged and grabbed both of his cheeks, looking at him deeply and desperately into his eyes. _**"I love you Brian, so do not refuse this."**_ You whispered still grabbing his cheeks and looking deeply into his sad green eyes.

He looked at you for a long time in silence, tears were still streaming down his face and this was really heartrending. You couldn't stand seeing him so broken. He didn't say anything at all, but he kept looking mournfully into your eyes while crying. And then it happened something you weren't expecting at all. He closed his eyes, leaned and kissed your lips. Your heart skipped a beat because of the surprise and shock; you were thunderstruck. You moved away your hands from his cheeks and this was when he stopped kissing you and moved away. You looked at him agape and aghast. He looked at you disturbed and abashed. You frowned and looked down, feeling too in shock to do or say something. He started muttering weird sounds and then he sighed and shook his head. He was now also frowning and looking down, also biting his lower lip. You looked up at him befuddled and really confused.

_**"I'm so sorry... I... I didn't want... It's just... I'm so sorry."**_ He murmured still looking down, shaking his head and shedding tears. _**"Please forgive me, I didn't want..."**_ He said covering his face now. You looked at him distressed but still aghast.

_**"It's alright, Bri."**_ You finally said and you hugged him. He buried his face on your chest as you caressed his hair. _**"It's alright, I understand you didn't want to do it; I understand that it was a reaction because you were feeling bad and you needed a bit of affection and I was the closest person. I understand, it happens. Do not feel bad, I know we're best friends and what recently happened doesn't change it."**_ You whispered while still caressing his hair reassuringly. Geez, your best friend was really feeling so miserable. _**"It's okay, Bri."**_ You whispered kindly and you kissed his head, but he didn't stop crying.

_**"I'm so sorry; I can't believe I did that. I'm a total douchebag."**_ He said still crying.

_**"Hey, stop, Brian! You're not a douchebag! Only because you kissed me? Well, forget that! It happens to everybody when we feel confused and loveless because of something terrible that is happening; so we try to find comfort with the nearest person in different ways. I understand that, Brian. You're not a douchebag, so stop saying that."**_ You said very firmly.

_**"I am! You were being nice to me and there I blew it! I just... Oh my god, I'm just not feeling okay."**_ He said moving away from you and looking away, propping his forehead in his hand.

You looked at him distressed. He never ever admitted loudly that he wasn't okay, so this was really bad. Yes, you were still shocked for what he did, but you could understand that it wasn't intentional. And you didn't like to see him feeling bad and broken for his economic situation and in addition to that, feeling guilty because of that unexpected kiss. He was never sad; he was always that cheerful person and usually it was always him the one who was always trying to make you smile. This was breaking your heart and more knowing that he wasn't doing right since a long time while you were all the time talking about Darren and stupid things. You moved closer and kissed his cheek. He looked at you anguished and guiltily.

_**"I forgive you, Brian. It was nothing; it doesn't change anything, really. Please, I want to make you smile again."**_ You said sweetly, caressing his cheek and still looking at him distressed.

_**"Don't worry about me, I'll get better eventually. See? This is why I didn't want to tell you; I didn't want to make you feel bad."**_ He said looking away, frowning and wiping away his tears. _**"You have your own problems; I shouldn't bother you with mine." **_

_**"What are you saying, Brian?"**_ You asked in disbelief. _**"This is not a bother for me and my problems are very silly compared to this. I'm glad you told me, Brian. You're always there for me when I need you; I want to be there for you too. So, do not say again something like that. Please, promise me that you'll tell me when you feel bad, when you need me; promise me that you'll tell me everything."**_ You begged softly and he looked at you with sad eyes, but now there was a twinkle in his eyes, as if he was thankful.

_**"I promise."**_ He whispered weakly. _**"Thank you, Sunny, for doing this for me. Thank you; I don't know what I'd do... I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have you... Sunny..."**_ He said weeping again and you hugged him.

_**"Do not thank me. And you have me and you'll always have me. I got you, Brian."**_ You whispered reassuringly. _**"Please, let me see you smiling again."**_ You said and you broke the hug to look at him. He, in between tears, smiled faintly for you. _**"I love you; you know that right?"**_

_**"I know, and I love you back."**_ He said and this time he was the one who hugged you. _**"You're one of the best things I have, I hope you know that."**_ He whispered in your ear.

* * *

_**"Darren, dude, what were you doing last night? Haven't you slept at all?"**_ Joey asked frowning when he got up.

_**"Hmm, no I haven't slept. There's coffee over there if you want."**_ I said still writing.

_**"What are you doing? Are you still with that shit? What is that?" **_He asked curiously.

_**"Nothing."**_ I replied trying to focus on this.

_**"Let me see your 'nothing' project."**_ He said walking to me and I quickly hid it.

_**"No, it's something private."**_

_**"Is it something private? What shit is that?" **_

_**"Stop it, man. I'll show it someday, but it's not even finished." **_

_**"You see? This is bad; this is very, very bad!" **_

_**"What? What's bad?"**_ I asked frowning, looking at him confused.

_**"I thought that you were going to face this problem with Freckles in a positive way but no! There you are, spending a sleepless night; surely writing shit about her! This is something serious, dude."**_ Joey exclaimed loudly.

_**"It's not like that."**_ I replied annoyed.

_**"What? Are you gonna deny that what you're writing is something about Freckles?" **_He asked almost provocatively. I just looked away and didn't say anything at all. Yes, it was something for Freckles. _**"See? I knew it! This is bad, dude, really."**_

_**"Stop it, Joey. It's not even a lovely thing or whatever. It's a song, okay? I'm writing a song." **_

_**"Can I see it, then?" **_

_**"No! When I finish it, maybe I'll let you read it. But not now." **_I answered determined.

_**"Whatever, man."**_ Joey said shaking his head and poured coffee in his mug.

_**"Hey, Joey, really. I'm not doing bad anymore; I already admitted the fact she's with another guy and I'm single and free and I can do the shit I want. I want to have fun, not to spend days crying because I don't have her; that would be ridiculous and pathetic. So, it's okay, man."**_ I said sighing.

_**"Okay, if you say so..."**_ Joey said raising an eyebrow and taking a sip of his coffee. _**"This is the worst coffee I've ever drank. Who made this coffee? Hagrid?" **_Joey asked making a grimace of disgust as I laughed out loud.

_**"Yeah, Hagrid came over here last night and he offered to make coffee; I couldn't refuse. That man is big, dude; it was scary."**_ I said jokingly.

_**"Yeah, well, next time do not open the door. I can't believe he make it to cross the door."**_ Joey said frowning in confusion.

_**"He didn't cross the door, he just appeared here."**_ I said shrugging, amused.

_**"I see, I was just trying to sound like a muggle, you know? You shouldn't say those things in this muggle world."**_ Joey warned me and I just laughed.

_**"Right. Hey, what do you say if we go for some butter beers tonight? I feel like going out and partying hard."**_ I proposed and Joey nodded thoughtful.

_**"Yeah, that could be a pretty good idea. We could go to Hogsmeade, I mean, downtown in the muggle vocabulary; and there we could go to The Hog's Head, I mean to the Blind Pig in the muggle vocabulary."**_ Joey agreed and I laughed, shaking my head.

_**"Yeah, that sounds cool. We could pretend we're The Weird Sisters band and rock it with rock'n'magical songs, performing on a magically-appearing stage."**_ I proposed excited.

_**"Totally, dude. We gotta find black torn robes to wear."**_ Joey said also excited.

_**"Oh my wizard God! It's gonna be totally awesome!"**_ I exclaimed loudly. _**"We're gonna rock the Yule Ball, I mean, the night! We'll cast some spells, with a flick of our wands, defeat the dark arts, yeah bring it on!"**_

_**"Yeah, man! Together we're totally awesome!"**_ Joey exclaimed and gave me high five. _**"Okay, I'll tell the guys if they want to join us."**_

_**"Yeah, the more the merrier."**_ I answered feeling excited. It's been a while since the last time I went to the Blind Pig.

Then my phone started buzzing and I checked it. It was an incoming call from Jen. I made Joey a gesture that I had to pick up the call and when he nodded, I walked to the bedroom, closing the door behind me.

_**"Jenny! What a surprise!"**_ I greeted her cheerfully.

_**"Oh well, you don't seem so down."**_ Jen said.

_**"Is that you way of greeting me, Jennifer?"**_

_**"Hey, Darren! How are you? Hey, listen buddy, I was worried because you sent me a text message last night and you seemed to be really down. Can you explain me what happened?"**_ Jen said really quickly and I giggled softly. _**"What are you laughing? You really don't seem to be down."**_

_**"I am not. I was, but I'm not anymore."**_ I replied a bit indifferently.

_**"You know? Sometimes I really don't understand you."**_ Jen said sighing.

_**"I know you do." **_

_**"Sometimes... Whatever, what happened? I wanna know anyway."**_ Jen asked curious.

_**"Umm well, let's say that... Yesterday I was having a really shitty day."**_ I answered.

_**"Yes, and?"**_ Jen insisted.

_**"Ugh, I can't tell this on the phone." **_

_**"Come on!"**_ She demanded in a bossy way.

_**"Jeez! Fine!"**_ I exclaimed surprised.

So I started telling Jen all that happened since yesterday morning. She already knew what happened with me and Freckles when we were in Munising, so surely she wasn't going to understand why all of a sudden everything changed. I also couldn't understand it; but surely it was because I finally realized that Freckles wasn't the same as always and I didn't like so much this new Freckles by the way she acted with me yesterday. So I told her everything and after that, she remained silent for a long time.

_**"You knew she was changed, Darren. But maybe you overreacted because you were feeling sensitive in that moment, Darren. Maybe it wasn't as you're describing." **_

_**"Jen, I tried to be objective there. I described you exactly what happened. She just wasn't interested on what I had to say. And she wouldn't stop texting her new boyfriend."**_

_**"Are you very sure that Noah is her boyfriend? I mean, did she mention something about a boyfriend?" **_

_**"Umm... No. But Jenny, come on, the text message said sexy girl. Of course he is her boyfriend." **_

_**"First of all, I call you sexy boy sometimes, Darren, and we're just friends; just as you sometimes call your friends sexy, both male and female friends. Yet, you're only friends. So you really don't know if Noah is her boyfriend or not. And then, I really think you overreacted; I don't know, you told me she was super cool when you talked to her in Munising. So, she couldn't have changed in a few weeks; you were having a shitty day and maybe she was worried about something in that moment, Darren."**_

_**"No, Jen. Do you know what happened? I realized that when we were in Munising, I was still seeing her as the Freckles I knew, as the Freckles with who I fell in love. And yesterday I finally got to see the real new Freckles. And I don't even like her, I don't like the way she is now and I'm not even interested on being her friend. So that's it. Damn, I don't wanna talk about her anymore."**_ I said annoyed.

_**"You're only trying to believe your own lie..."**_

_**"My own lie? That has no sense. My own lie? Really?"**_ I asked in disbelief.

_**"Yes, really. But do that if you want, Darren. You're 19 and soon you'll be 20; so you're old enough to do what you think is right or not." **_Jen answered sighing.

_**"Yeah, right..."**_ I said, also sighing.

_**"However, I was also calling to tell you that I was planning to go to Ann Arbor in Thanksgiving holiday."**_ Jen said and suddenly I felt really happy.

_**"Really? Oh my god, that's awesome! I really miss you, Jenny! You can stay at our room! Probably is time to move to a bigger room, as I want. Yes! Yes, you just made my day, Jenny!"**_ I bounced in happiness and she giggled.

_**"Okay, do not get so excited! It's not sure yet, but that was the idea**_." Jen said but I could notice she was just as excited as I was.

_**"Okay, but you better come! You wouldn't like to disappoint me, would you?"**_ I asked provocatively, but in a jokingly way.

_**"We'll see, Darren. But most probably I'll go there."**_ She answered. _**"Okay, Darren, I have to hung up or I'm gonna be late for my next class."**_

_**"Okay, Jenny, take care and have fun with your journalist friends." **_I said laughing._** "See you in Thanksgiving holiday!" **_

_**"Yes, see you by then! Take care, Dare."**_ She said and then she hung up.

Man, I was so happy! I really wanted to see Jen again. Even though I had now totally awesome friends, Jen was going to be always my best friend and it was hard for me now that she was in Washington DC. I was so excited, I knew that also Joey was going to be excited about this because they were like friends. Oh, and this was the perfect excuse to move to another bigger room. Not that I minded sharing the same bedroom than Joey; but if we had separate bedrooms was going to be better, since Jen was going to be able to come more often, even my brother was going to be able to come over here. I was about to tell Joey this, but my phone buzzed again. Surely it was Jen that forgot to tell me something; she used to do those things after a phone conversation. So I answered the call without checking who it was.

_**"Jenny! What did you forget to say this time?"**_ I asked amused when I answered the call.

_**"Umm... I'm not Jen..."**_ A woman's voice said confused and a bit awkward: Freckles.

What the hell was this? Why was she calling me? How come she had my phone number? I didn't want to talk to her; I didn't want her to have my phone number. Damn, why was this happening? Right when I decided to take my mind off her. Of course, I didn't answer anything. I was both surprised and a bit upset.

_**"It's Freckles."**_ She said softly. Duh, as if I didn't notice, genius. Anyway, I didn't say anything, so there was a short silence. _**"I asked Meredith if she could give me your number. I hope you don't mind."**_ She said and again, I didn't answer. It was a long silence now. _**"Darren, are you there?"**_

_**"Yes."**_ I answered curtly.

_**"Oh! You're so quiet, so I didn't know if you..."**_

_**"What do you want?"**_ I interrupted her harshly.

_**"I just wanted to apologize."**_ She said almost in a whisper. I just stayed silent. She was apologizing, so she maybe did it all on purpose. _**"It wasn't my intention to interrupt you while you were trying to talk to me about something. I'm sorry for that, it was wrong and improper, but I didn't do it on purpose. I hope you can forgive me."**_

_**"Yeah, whatever." **_I replied indifferently.

_**"Thanks, I guess. I was wondering if you'd like to meet me, so you can tell me what was going on with you and I promise not to act like a dumb this time."**_ She said and I raised my eyebrow in disbelief.

_**"Oh, I don't think so. I really don't wanna talk to you and less after the way you acted yesterday. Yeah, I really don't wanna do that."**_ I answered severely.

_**"I said I was sorry, Darren. I didn't do that on purpose..."**_ She started saying.

_**"You know what? I'm busy and I have more important things to do than talking to you."**_ I interrupted her harshly again and now she was the one who was silent. _**"So yeah, bye."**_

I didn't even wait for her response, I just hung up. I was really mad at this. I was mad at Meredith, why the heck did she give my phone number to Freckles? Why after what happened? Damn, I didn't care that Freckles was apologizing, I was sure that wasn't honest; I could tell that in her voice. And even if she really meant that, I didn't want to take her apology because I knew that sooner or later she was going to make me feel bad again and I didn't want to feel down again; I didn't want her to break my heart again. Damn, if only she could disappear. If only I didn't meet her again. Enough, I wasn't going to think about her anymore; I was going to focus on having fun with my friends as I deserved.

* * *

**BRIAN'S POV**

* * *

I knew I shouldn't have told her all of that. I knew I shouldn't have cried in front of her. I knew I was going to feel weak. Damn. I'm so stupid, so fucking stupid. And I screwed it; I really blew it this time. You total jerk! How do you dare to kiss her? What the heck was in your mind when you decided to do it? She's your best friend, nothing more. I just couldn't resist, I was feeling so bad and she was so close and so lovely. It was being really hard for me lately. Damn, I needed to keep it in mind all the time: You're only the best friend guy. And now everything was weird; yeah, she forgave me, but she was acting distant. And I myself I was acting distant because I didn't want to screw this more than it already was. Damn, Brian! Two years and then you blew it in one night, in one second. And now she was distant and she was feeling guilty, now she was feeling pity for me; I didn't want that. Argh! I didn't want her to feel pity for me; I didn't want her to pay things for me. I was the one supposed to pay things for her, I was the one supposed to give her everything. And everything was going wrong: My dad, college, the job, the damn kiss. And now she knew everything because I told her! It was stupid to tell her that; now she was worried about me. Shit, I didn't want that, I only wanted to see her happy, smiling with that breathtaking smile. And why did I cry in front of her? I saw her eyes when she saw me crying, she was distressed; I didn't want that either, I wanted to see her bright eyes. And she cried because of me, because of my troubles; I didn't want her to shed tears unless they're tears of joy. And now she was decided to move here. I didn't know if I could do that; not only because I didn't like the idea of her paying for this, but also because I wasn't sure if it was a good idea to live in a place in which we had to share a bedroom. Yes, I promised her at the beginning of this academic year that we were going to live together; but I never thought that my dad was going to have this problem, that I was going to be forced to find a job, that maybe I was going to be forced to dropout college, that we were going to share the same bedroom. But we couldn't find a place with two separate bedrooms because that would be very expensive and I couldn't afford that while my dad needed me to pay his medicines. Oh man, this was a mess. I just didn't know what to do, but I didn't want to be like this either. She needed me to be fine, she needed me to keep being that support for her, she needed me to comfort her; I couldn't bother her with my problems, I didn't want that. I wanted her to be happy and not concerned for my own problems. I needed to be strong; I couldn't be weak like last night when I cried in front of her. I really needed to be strong for my dad and for her. I just didn't want to disappoint them; I wanted to make them feel proud of me, not to feel pity for me. Someday and somehow everything was going to get better again, I hoped so.

_**"Mandy? Hey, how are you?"**_ I asked when my phone started buzzing.

_**"I'm good, still busy with this new project."**_ Mandy answered.

_**"That's good; it only means that it's working!"**_ I said feeling happy for her.

_**"Yes, it is. Thank you, Brian." **_She said politely. _**"But... I was calling you because actually I need you."**_

_**"You need me? For what?"**_ I asked intrigued.

_**"I need you to be my model?"**_ Mandy started saying and I was about to refuse, but she interrupted me. _**"Please, don't say no before I tell you everything."**_

_**"Okay, you got me. Tell me, but surely you'll know my answer. We've already been through this. I don't like that stuff of being model and whatever."**_ I said serious.

_**"It's not for a fashion show, so don't worry. I need you to pose for photos to be used for advertising purposes; you know, I need you as a model garments." **_Mandy explained.

_**"Umm, Mandy... I'm pretty sure you can find another guy that is a real model. I don't even look like a model; I don't know why you keep asking me that." **_I replied uncomfortable.

"_**Oh, come on, Brian! You're so damn sexy; you not only have a body that appears to be carved by angels; but you also have that handsome and perfect face. You don't even have a single pimple. And Brian, please, don't get me started on your ass. Your buff ass, Brian! High, tight and round; just the kind of ass you just want to run your hand over and squeeze it!" **_Mandy exclaimed really excited as I felt slightly embarrassed by the way she was talking.

"_**Mandy…" **_I warned in all seriousness. She knew I didn't like when people say things like those.

"_**I'm sorry, Brian, but it's the truth. Do you have any idea how hard is to find someone like you? Please, Brian, I beg you." **_Mandy said desperately.

_**"Please, Mandy, you're exaggerating things. You know I don't like this, I... I can't pose for a photo. I don't like that stuff, don't be so cruel."**_ I said feeling even more uncomfortable.

_**"Please, Brian! I swear I'll pay you! Please." **_She begged again.

_**"I... No, even if I do it, I wouldn't like you to pay me. But no, Mandy! I... I don't feel comfortable with that." **_I said very uncomfortable. I could use a little money right now, but I'd never let her pay me.

_**"Brian! Please, you're perfect for this! It's about my new line of swimwear and you have the perfect body!" **_

_**"What? No! Oh no, no way I'm posing for a line of swimwear. I'd consider it if it was about something else, but swimwear? No way."**_ I refused quickly.

_**"Why not, Brian? Come on, have you ever looked in a mirror? Your biceps, abs and pecs are astounding; we won't even need help from Photoshop. Brian, please! I swear I'll do anything you want if you do this for me."**_ Mandy said supplicant and I sighed.

_**"Alright... But only this time for the last time, Mandy! I'm serious!"**_ I finally accepted. I couldn't refuse that because she seemed to be very desperate and this was about her job.

_**"Thank you a lot, Brian! I love you!"**_ She exclaimed thankful.

_**"Yeah, yeah... But after this, you better find another guy, Mandy."**_ I warned her.

_**"Maybe, we'll see. You're perfect for this, Brian. Anyway, I'll tell you... I have this project of my new line of swimwear and for that we'll take the photos in a real place, to make it more real. So, the photo-shoot will take place at the U.S. Virgin Islands."**_ Mandy started explaining.

_**"What? That place is too far, Mandy..."**_ I said thinking how expensive a flight to there it was. I couldn't go there.

_**"I know! That is why I chose the Labor Day to make it, so you won't have to worry about college. And you don't have to worry about the costs of travel and accommodation; everything is paid by the company."**_ Mandy explained.

_**"Mandy, that is in two days."**_ I said gingerly.

_**"I know! That's why I was so desperate! You can make it, right?" **_

_**"Yeah, I can..." **_

_**"Oh, thanks god! Okay, so... You only have to go to the airport that day at 8am and the ticket is already paid, you only will need to show your ID." **_

_**"Wait a minute... So, everything is planned... You sneaky! You knew I was going to say yes!" **_

_**"Well, yes, sorry! But I really needed you!" **_

_**"Okay, fine... It won't happen again, you know?" **_

_**"We'll see... Anyways, you only have to do it. You're gonna spend only two days and one night there. I'll go there too, so don't worry; you won't be alone. And... trust me, the payment is really good."**_ Mandy said convincingly.

_**"I... I don't want you to pay me, Mandy. I'm doing this only because I'm your friend."**_ I said firmly, even though I needed the money.

_**"I don't care what you say, Brian. Your work is gonna be rewarded."**_

_**"I... Mandy, really..." **_I said uncomfortable.

_**"Shut up, Brian. So, remember, Saturday at 8am at the airport, with my sister. Okay?"**_ Mandy asked.

_**"Wait... Why with your sister?"**_ I asked confused.

_**"Because my sister is the female model, duh. She already knows it, so you only have to go there... Saturday, 8am at the airport." **_Mandy repeated but I wasn't paying attention. Was I going to have to pose in the photos with Sunny? That was going to be awkward and more in swimwear.

_**"Yeah, okay."**_ I answered almost in a whisper.

_**"Thanks!"**_ She exclaimed loudly and happily. _**"Now, how are things over there?"**_

_**"Fine..."**_ I lied.

_**"Okay, now try telling me the truth." **_Mandy said roundly.

_**"That's the truth."**_ I said frowning. I really didn't want to say anything.

_**"Oh Brian, Brian... I know you. What's wrong?" **_

_**"The accurate question would be what's right, so I wouldn't have to explain so much..." **_I said in a whisper, without thinking I was saying that.

_**"Oh my god, you never say things like those. What happened?"**_ Mandy asked worried.

_**"Nothing..."**_ I replied shortly when I realized she heard me. Damn, the less I needed was to make Mandy feel worried too.

_**"Brian, you better tell me right now. This is an order." **_Mandy demanded. Whoa, she was scary whenever she talked like that.

_**"Okay, only if you promise not to feel worried and if you don't tell anybody."**_ I said.

_**"Promise."**_

So I started telling her all that happened lately. I told her everything, except the part of the kiss. That was something I'd never tell anybody. But I explained her all about my dad, the job that I couldn't find, how her sister basically forced me to let her pay the rent of the room and the food; I told her all of that. She only listened and I was glad for that.

_**"That's terrible, Brian. I'm so sorry." **_

_**"Mandy, you promised not to feel worried about this." **_

_**"I... Okay."**_ She said sighing. _**"Just let my sister do that for you. As she said, we have the possibility to do that. So don't be so stubborn, Brian. And I can help you to find a job; you could be part of my company. You could work as my model and also I could offer you a long-distance job that won't require much time."**_

_**"No, Mandy. I already feel uncomfortable that you will pay me for those photos you asked. I... I just can't accept a job from you." **_

_**"Oh that's pure shit, Brian! I'll be glad if you accept the job. I'll never find a trusted person just as you are for me."**_ Mandy said convincingly.

_**"Okay, I'll think about it. Thank you."**_ I said thankful, but still feeling uncomfortable.

_**"About your dad... My mom needs help with her job. She needs someone as her secretary. Your dad could be the best for that job; after all, he has experience as secretary." **_

_**"Mandy..."**_

_**"Don't say anything. I'll tell mom to call your dad and we'll see what happens."**_ Mandy interrupted me.

_**"Mandy, you don't have to..." **_

_**"Stop, Brian. I'm doing this because both, my sister and I, care about you. So do not refuse the help from the people who love you because it hurts us." **_Mandy said firmly. I just remained silent and I frowned and bit my lower lip to avoid the crying. _**"Brian?"**_ Mandy asked after a long time I didn't answer. Damn, I couldn't talk. I moved my phone away to take a deep breath, so she wasn't going to hear me. No one else could know I was crying.

_**"Yeah, sorry."**_ I finally said. _**"Thanks..."**_ I started saying but the lump in my throat appeared again and my voice cracked. I tried to calm down again. _**"Thank you a lot for everything, Mandy."**_ I finally said, trying to control the teary voice.

_**"You don't have to thank me, silly."**_ Mandy said kindly and I could tell she was smiling, even if I couldn't see her. _**"Now about my sister..."**_

_**"What about your sister?" **_

_**"When are you gonna tell her, Brian? It's been two years."**_ Mandy said almost in a whisper. I stayed silent for a long time, again trying to hold back my tears. I really hated feeling like this, so sensitive.

_**"You know I won't."**_ I finally answered, biting my lower lip.

_**"You should, Brian." **_

_**"No. You know I won't and you know I can't, Mandy. And now here's Darren again and he makes her happy, even if she keeps denying it."**_ I answered frowning.

Mandy already knew all that happened between her sister and Darren since they met again, because I told her. She needed to know but Freckles wouldn't tell her anything yet; so I made Mandy promise that she wouldn't mention anything about this. Mandy was worried about her sister, but I told her that things were fine and that I was going to take care of her little sister; and damn! Of course I was going to do so; always.

_**"I can't believe you're still doing that, Brian. Why do you let her talk about Darren with you? It's hurting you."**_ Mandy said distressed and now tears were streaming down my face, but I didn't make any sound, so she wouldn't notice I was crying.

_**"It doesn't matter if it hurts me or not. It doesn't hurt me. She needs advices and I'm willing to give her all the advices she needs. I don't care with who she decides to date as long as the guy is a good guy and as long as she is happy. That's what matters to me, Mandy. And Darren seems to have changed for good..."**_ I explained, always controlling my teary voice.

_**"Stop that, Brian! You need to tell my sister. It's been long enough. It's time, Brian."**_ Mandy insisted and I had to bit my fist to prevent any kind of sound. Fuck, I needed to stop crying. _**"You need to think about yourself too. This thing you're doing is not good. Tell her, Brian." **_

_**"And what am I supposed to tell her, Mandy? What?"**_ I said with teary voice and weeping. She surely realized I was crying, but I couldn't hold it any longer.

_**"Brian..."**_ She said with sad voice. She definitely realized I was crying, shit. _**"Just tell her the truth."**_

_**"Mandy, I can't... I can't."**_ I said still with teary voice.

_**"Brian?"**_ I heard a voice: Sunny. She was walking to my bedroom.

_**"Is that my sister?"**_ Mandy asked.

_**"Yeah... I have... I have to hang up..."**_ I said nervously and I quickly hung up.

I put my phone aside and I pretended to be doing something else, as I wiped my tears away as fast as I could. By the time she entered my bedroom, I was giving my back to the door and I was pretending to be looking for some clothes. More tears fell down my face and I wiped them away, surreptitiously. I couldn't look at her. I heard her steps walking towards me and then she stood behind me and I felt her embrace. It was a really pleasant feeling, but I also felt like a hole in my heart. You're her best friend, I reminded to myself.

_**"Brian..."**_ She whispered still hugging me. I didn't want to turn around, so I pretended to keep looking for some clothes.

_**"Yeah?"**_ I asked controlling my cracked voice. I felt how she kissed my back and then she rested her head on it.

_**"I finally called Darren..."**_ She said in a whisper.

My heart broke when I heard her saying his name, but I hid it. I was pretty aware that she still loved Darren, even if she denied it constantly; and I was only her best friend. But I wished that someday, at least only one day, she could say my name in the same way she said Darren's name.

* * *

_**"I can't believe you're wearing that, Darren."**_ Joey asked while we were walking to the Blind Pig.

_**"Why not?"**_ I asked looking at my t-shirt of Roger Rabbit.

_**"Because that must be my shirt."**_ Joey said frowning and I laughed.

When we arrived at the Blind Pig, the guys weren't there yet. So we walked to an empty table and we sat there. We ordered two bottles of the best beer of the menu, called Ruckus Hoptimus Prime; besides, the name of that beer was totally awesome. It was still quiet, even if it was a Friday. I loved this tavern, you could stand up and just sing if you wanted, and it was a perfect place if you wanted to dance or just play pool or to play dart boards. Joey and I just started talking about random things.

_**"So, who's coming?"**_ I asked because I still wasn't sure.

_**"Oh, Meredith just texted me few minutes ago. At the end, the only ones that are coming are Meredith, Joe Walker and Lauren. The other guys couldn't make it."**_ Joey said frowning and shrugging.

_**"Well, at least some of them are coming."**_ I replied. I really didn't mind, I only wanted to have fun with friends and it didn't matter if we were a big group or not.

So we kept talking about other stuff and I took advantage to propose him to move to another bigger room, as we were drinking already the second bottle of beer. I didn't know why they weren't coming yet. Anyway, I started telling Joey and he was listening to me very intently until Joe Walker and Lauren arrived. They saw us and walked to our table.

_**"Hello ladies!"**_ Joe greeted with a high-five.

_**"How are you doing? Uh-uh, I see you've been drinking without us, so bad!"**_ Lauren said looking at the bottles of beer and they sat on the table.

_**"Yeah, we couldn't resist the temptation."**_ Joey said while taking a sip of his beer.

_**"And Meredith?"**_ I asked curiously.

_**"She's on her way."**_ Joe replied.

_**"Are you letting her to come alone?"**_ I asked serious.

_**"Well yeah, she told us to come. What? She's not a little kid, Criss. Besides, she texted one second ago, she's safe; Voldy hasn't caught her!"**_ Lauren answered and everybody laughed.

_**"Hey, I want that beer! Look at its name!"**_ Joe said grabbing my bottle that was already empty.

So we ordered four beers. Damn, I really needed to stop drinking so much. We ordered also some snacks to eat, that was going to be better. We started talking about random things, especially about superheroes and fictional characters, perfect for a play. I was having a really good time, part because of the effect of the beer and part because my friends were really hilarious and just as weird as I was. After a while, I saw Meredith entering the tavern. I was about to stand up and run to hug her, but something stopped me abruptly. Right after Meredith entered, Freckles entered behind her. What the hell was she doing here, man? I was just having fun and she had to appear. I couldn't understand, this was frustrating. I looked at Joey almost menacingly because he surely knew something about this and he didn't tell me. But he seemed to be as surprised as I was.

_**"What the fuck is she doing here?"**_ I whispered in Joey's ear.

_**"I don't know, dude. I didn't know she was coming; Meredith didn't mention her."**_ Joey whispered back.

_**"Oh, great!"**_ I exclaimed sarcastically. _**"Fuck!"**_ I exclaimed in a whisper, really frustrated and disgruntled.

_**"Well, Darren, stop. She's Meredith's roommate and they seem to be friends now, so you'll have to get used to see her often."**_ Joey told me in a whisper.

_**"Argh, this sucks."**_ I exclaimed still disgruntled.

_**"Stop, dude. You came here to have fun, do not change that because she came."**_ Joey said frowning.

_**"Will try..."**_ I whispered not convinced at all.

It seemed that Meredith finally found us, so now she and Freckles were walking to our table. Even if I was annoyed because Freckles was here, my heart skipped a beat when I saw her. Damn, she was so fucking gorgeous. Why did she have to look so good and sexy? And she wasn't wearing anything flamboyant; she was only wearing black tight jeans, a simple black and white striped tight shirt and a red scarf; but the detail of the black beret drove me crazy. That was the same beret that she wore when she met my family for the first time, when I showed her Marin Headlands for the first time, our place. I always told her that she should wear that beret more often, but she never did; and now she was wearing it. And her lips, man... Damn, her lips were really red and looked so... Stop, I should stop thinking about that. But oh, she looked so good; she looked like a model or something.

_**"Oh man, she looks so sexy."**_ Joe exclaimed in a whisper but I could hear him.

_**"I know right? She looks like French."**_ Lauren replied, also in a whisper.

_**"Yeah, that is what I told her when..."**_ I started saying but then I realized I was saying it loud, so I just shut up.

She truly looked like French, now more than before with her short hair. And I had to admit that she was really sexy; like really. No feelings for her, not even a single one. No love, no hate; nothing. When they were close enough, I looked down and I pretended to be distracted with a snack. How pathetic was that? I didn't care; I didn't want to look at her. I still didn't know what was in Meredith's mind to have had this idea of bringing Freckles with her.

_**"Hi, guys! Sorry we're late. Oh what's that? Do I smell beer?"**_ Meredith asked cheerfully.

_**"Yeah, come on, sit down and let's order more!"**_ Lauren exclaimed just as cheerfully. I was still looking down, playing with that snack.

_**"Hi, guys."**_ Freckles greeted shyly, unlike the way she used to greet people.

There was something different on her voice. Yet, I didn't look up nor greeted her. She sat right in front of me, damn. So there we ordered 6 beers, one for each. Now everybody started talking about random things, started joking and laughing; everybody except me... and Freckles. She was actually very silent so that caught my attention. I looked surreptitiously at her: she was propping her head on a hand and she was silently drinking her bottle of beer, also looking down, playing with a snack but not eating it. She was smiling faintly but that was a forced smile, and her eyes just looked empty. Then she sighed and looked up, so I quickly looked down to avoid her gaze. She didn't notice I was looking at her, fortunately.

_**"Darren, can you change your face?"**_ Joey whispered in my ear and I looked at him frowning and faked a huge smile.

_**"Better?" **_I whispered still faking the huge smile. Joey only shook his head and looked away.

_**"Hey guys! What if we play pool?"**_ Joe proposed excited.

_**"Hell yeah!"**_ Joey answered and Meredith and Lauren also agreed.

_**"Nah..."**_ I replied, taking a sip of my beer. _**"Don't feel like playing it, I always lose in that stupid game."**_

_**"Loser!"**_ Lauren exclaimed laughing.

_**"Okay, Darren is out. Freckles, are you joining us?"**_ Meredith asked smiling at her.

_**"Hmm, I think I'll pass this time. But you guys totally should go and have fun." **_Freckles answered with that same faint smile. Oh no, the idea of being alone with her wasn't good at all, it kinda terrified me.

_**"Actually, I changed my mind..."**_ I said quickly. _**"I'll prove you that I can win you all this time."**_

Yeah, I didn't want to play it, but I preferred to play it than staying with Freckles alone. Everybody looked at me amused, except Joey who was looking at me serious. He knew I was doing it because I didn't want to be with Freckles. I glanced at Freckles on the sly; she was looking fixedly at me with the same empty eyes and she wasn't smiling anymore, then she looked down and took a sip of her beer.

_**"Freckles, are you sure you don't want to join us?"**_ Joe asked and Freckles looked at him and forced a smile.

_**"Yes, I'm sure."**_ She answered softly and I felt relieved for her answer.

_**"Oh, come on! You wouldn't stay here alone, would you?"**_ Meredith asked frowning. She seemed to be worried.

_**"Yes... It's okay. You should just go and have fun, guys. I'll stay here and I'll look how you play. It's fine."**_ She answered still forcing the smile and taking another sip of her beer.

_**"Okay, we should go guys!"**_ I insisted quickly. I really didn't want them to convince her to join us. _**"I feel like kicking some ass."**_ I said trying to joke.

_**"We'll see about that, Criss."**_ Joe said defiant and amused.

_**"Okay, Freckles, if you later want to join us..."**_ Meredith started saying but I didn't listen to her anymore because I was already walking to the pool table.

So yeah, we started playing and of course I was making a fool of myself; of course I was losing. But I didn't care, I just wanted to be entertained to not to think about Freckles. Freckles wasn't really looking at us, she was texting someone while drinking her beer. Surely she was texting that Noah guy. That was irritating; and I shouldn't feel irritated. But I didn't like the way she was texting that guy all the freaking time. Anyway, she didn't seem so happy while texting. Why was I feeling so upset? This shouldn't affect me. Then I got distracted because it was my turn to play. But when I was about to strike the ball, something distracted me and made me fail. A guy sat on the table next to Freckles and they started talking and laughing. Could that guy be Noah?

_**"Do not let jealousy kill you, pal."**_ Joe joked, whispering in my ear.

_**"Oh shut up! Why would it happen?"**_ I asked indifferently, but still glancing at Freckles and that guy on the sly.

_**"You just need to stop looking at her that way, bud, or you're gonna freak her out."**_ Lauren replied in a whisper with a giggle.

_**"Looking at her like what?"**_ I asked serious, raising an eyebrow.

_**"Like you wanna rip her clothes off."**_ Joe answered laughing out loud and I frowned, even though I found it funny.

_**"Oh, shut the fuck up!"**_ I said nudging him but laughing softly now.

But then I looked at her again and I saw her laughing. She was laughing with that guy and she was completely off when she was around me. I frowned again and I had this awful feeling. Maybe I was a bit jealous. When I saw that guy moving closer to her to whisper something in her ear, I acted by instinct. I started walking to her feeling irked; I just wanted to stop that guy. But what? I had no rights to do that, I was no one to Freckles. Fortunately, Joey took me by the arm and stopped me.

_**"What the hell are you doing, dude?"**_ He asked in disbelief.

_**"Nothing, I was thirsty and wanted my bottle of beer." **_I lied, still frowning and looking at that annoying guy.

_**"You need to stop with that, dude. You said you wanted to stop thinking about her, and the way you act isn't helping."**_ Joey said looking at me serious.

_**"Whoa, Joey! Since when so serious?"**_ I asked raising my eyebrows.

_**"I'm bored of this game. Gonna join Freckles and that cute boy..." **_Meredith said with a mischievous smile, now walking towards them.

Oh well, this was the perfect excuse to walk towards them as well. I really needed to know if that guy was Noah. What if Freckles was texting him so they could meet here, right in front of me? That would be inconsiderate although we were nothing now, there was something called respect. This time Joey didn't stop me because I was faster. I walked straight to them, right behind Meredith.

_**"Hi, guys!"**_ Meredith greeted joyfully. She seemed to know that guy already. _**"Are you up for a beer with us?"**_ She asked looking at the guy, now I was walking more slowly to them.

_**"Yeah, sure. Why not?"**_ The guy answered with a smile and Freckles smiled. Yeah, fuck, they had something; I was sure.

_**"Hi."**_ I greeted looking suspiciously at the guy when I reached the table.

Freckles and Meredith were looking at me fixedly and serious, but they didn't say anything. The guy looked at me with a polite smile and nodded his head. Well, that guy didn't seem to be a nasty guy, but still there was something I didn't like about him. I felt really jealous because yeah, that guy looked way better than me. I wanted him to go away but no; Meredith had to invite him to drink a beer. He was like bothering here. But I needed to be polite; I didn't want to be that ill-mannered guy because I wasn't like that.

_**"I'm Darren."**_ I said stretching out my hand.

_**"Nice to meet you, Darren."**_ The guy replied politely and also stretched his hand to shake it with mine. _**"I'm Noah."**_

So he was Noah indeed. He was the guy that messed up everything with Freckles. Well, he wasn't guilty, but Freckles was because of this guy, who surely was something more than a simple friend or whatever. I couldn't explain why I was loathing this guy if I didn't even know him. Definitely Freckles texted him to come over here, why would be here otherwise? This couldn't be a coincidence. Anyway, I tried to pretend he was just a random guy and I didn't know anything about him. I just forced a polite smile and I sat in front of Freckles and Meredith sat next to me, in front of Noah. There was an uncomfortable silence: Freckles was looking down and wasn't laughing as when she was alone with Noah; Meredith was just smiling goofily trying to pretend everything was normal and Noah was just looking down and smiling.

_**"So, Noah..."**_ I said and the guy looked at me. Freckles remained looking down and Meredith looked away. I wanted to get more information about this guy. _**"Are you also attending the University of Michigan?"**_

_**"Yeah, I am. I'm also in the Interarts Performance program; I'm a Freshman."**_ Noah replied and I nodded, then I glanced at Freckles. So they were also classmates, for sure. _**"Are you too?"**_

_**"Oh, no, not at all. I'm in the Basement Arts program, and I'm a Sophomore; just as all of my friends."**_ I replied trying to sound polite.

_**"That's weird... So how do you guys know each other?" **_He asked curiously, looking at me, at Meredith and Freckles.

No one answered for a while. So this guy didn't know everything about me and her; Freckles never mentioned me. Of course, just as Meredith said, she didn't talk about me. I didn't know if I should feel upset, sad or indifferent about this. I felt sad because she was acting as if what we had in the past didn't mean anything at all for her; I felt also a bit upset because I couldn't understand why she was doing that; but I should definitely feel indifferent. So I was kind of struggling with my feelings.

_**"Oh, that's because we went to the same High School, didn't she mention that?"**_ I asked on purpose and a bit harshly, looking at Freckles, who was looking down and very serious. Noah looked at Freckles and frowned apparently in confusion.

_**"No, she didn't. Anyway, I don't see why she should have mentioned that, we're just starting to know each other..." **_Noah started saying with a slight smile and still frowning.

_**"Oh, I don't know! Let me see... Maybe because it was something important, you know... But you're right; she shouldn't have mentioned that, because yeah, apparently everything meant nothing for her. She just doesn't care! So yeah, why would she mention that? That's a crazy idea!"**_ I exclaimed in a very sarcastic cheerful way.

I was starting to lose my temper and I knew it was wrong, but I couldn't help it. Noah was looking at me frowning, very confused; Meredith was looking at me very displeased, serious, also frowning; and Freckles was looking at me frowning, but I couldn't tell if that was a sad look or if it was a huffy look.

_**"I just... I don't understand..."**_ Noah said a bit uncomfortable, shifting in his chair.

_**"Of course you don't understand, I don't understand either! Who understands her? With her comings and goings... Man, it's impossible!"**_ I exclaimed sarcastically again and this time Freckles tensed her jaw and looked down. _**"You'll see, one day she's gonna be so nice and sweet with you, and right after that she's gonna kick you right in your balls; you won't even notice that; it'll just happen when you less expect and then you'll be all fucked up, man."**_ I said laughing bitterly and the guy raised his eyebrows and looked at me very bewildered.

_**"Darren, stop."**_ Meredith said firmly and coldly.

_**"Why should I stop? Because I'm trying to be cool and tell him what's gonna happen?"**_ I asked again in a sarcastic way. _**"You're totally fucked up, man; sorry." **_

_**"I'm sorry, guys... I just... Am I bothering here or something? I... I can go if I'm not welcome here and I won't feel offended."**_ Noah said uncomfortable.

_**"No, Noah, don't go."**_ Freckles whispered almost supplicant, looking at Noah and placing one hand above his. I observed that situation and I felt completely irritated.

_**"Oh, no, Noah! Do not go! Why would you go right when the fun has begun?"**_ I asked looking at him, raising my eyebrows and smiling in a false way. Freckles looked at me frowning and open-mouthed.

_**"Do not listen to him, Noah. He just has been having a bad day and he doesn't know what he's saying, right, Darren?"**_ Meredith asked roundly, looking at me in a menacingly way. I needed to calm down because this was going out of control.

_**"Right."**_ I answered coldly, now looking down and biting my lower lip. _**"Stay, Noah, I invite the next round of beer and we can make a toast."**_

_**"A toast? What for?"**_ He asked confused.

_**"Just to welcome you to the screwed life of having her..."**_ I started answering in a surly way.

_**"Shut the fuck up, Darren."**_ Meredith almost yelled, annoyed.

And so I shut my mouth. This made me realize where I was standing. Meredith seemed to be mad at me; Noah was looking down disconcerted and uncomfortable; and Freckles was looking away, frowning, biting her lower lip and she also seemed to be uncomfortable, besides being disgruntled. I totally crossed the line and that was inadequate. The Noah guy didn't do anything wrong and I lost my temper for no reasons. But I couldn't help feeling annoyed. And I created this current tense situation; yet, I couldn't apologize. Joey, Joe and Lauren saved me from this.

_**"Hi, new guy!"**_ Lauren greeted friendly, patting Noah's back. He just looked at her and smiled slightly. _**"What's your name?"**_

_**"I'm Noah."**_ He answered softly; he was still feeling uncomfortable.

_**"Welcome to our insanity, new guy called Noah!"**_ Joe greeted also friendly and in a jokingly way.

Noah just smiled and nodded; everybody was silent and looking away. Joey, Joe and Lauren noticed this, because they frowned in confusion.

_**"Is everything okay?"**_ Joey asked suspiciously.

_**"Yes, it is... Only that Darren was having a bad day and he flied into a rage and threw a tantrum; so he came out with a couple of rude words."**_ Meredith explained and I huffed, looking down while everybody, particularly Joey, looked at me visibly incredulous.

_**"I'm sorry, okay?"**_ I finally said, still irritated.

_**"Okay..."**_ Joe said raising an eyebrow. _**"I think a couple of beers will change this."**_

_**"Are you up for a beer, new guy?"**_ Joey asked.

_**"Yeah, sure."**_ Noah answered still a bit uncomfortable.

_**"Yo, Darren! I know how you can change your unusual grumpy mood!"**_ Lauren exclaimed excited and I just looked at her. _**"Why don't you delight us with a song? That stage over there misses you, buddy!"**_

_**"Hell yeah! No one is singing, you could take advantage of it."**_ Joe added.

_**"I don't know... The place is crowded already." **_I answered indifferently. I wasn't feeling in mood to sing right now.

_**"Since when is that an impediment for you?"**_ Lauren asked frowning. _**"It's better that the place is crowded, so many people would have the honor to listen to your stupid adorable voice."**_

_**"I..."**_ I started saying, frowning.

_**"Come on! Just do it, man!"**_ Joey insisted.

_**"Fine, fine! I'll do it."**_ I said sighing.

_**"Yay!"**_ Lauren bounced excited.

So I stood up and walked to the stage. Everything was ready for that one who wanted to sing: the microphone, the guitar, the piano, even drums. When I got on the stage, everybody looked at my direction. I only grabbed the guitar and I sat on the chair right in front of the microphone. This could be a good excuse to play the song I wrote last night. Yeah, I didn't practice it so much, but this was the perfect moment to sing it. I was feeling annoyed and frustrated and I couldn't say it because I needed to be nice. So the song was perfect. I looked at the audience. Whoa! It was really crowded. I cleared my throat because I could really say few words before starting singing.

_**"Hello everybody, I'm Darren Criss and well, I'm a musician and an actor; actually that's what I'm aiming to be... Anyway, this night I'd like to sing a song that I recently composed for a certain person that is here right now but whose name I won't say."**_ I started saying looking fixedly at Freckles now.

She noticed this was for her, because she was looking at me until I mentioned this; now she was looking down. In the meantime, Joey was looking at me frowning and serious; he knew I was talking about that specific song, but he still didn't know what it was about, so he was kinda concerned. Meredith, Joe and Lauren were just looking at me excited. The Noah guy was just looking at me, with a slight smile.

_**"So yeah, the song is called Stutter. I hope you can enjoy it."**_ I said and I looked at the guitar to start playing it.

For the first time, I was really nervous to play a song in front of an audience. Yeah, I performed before here in this place, but I performed mostly Disney's songs. This time was different, this time I was going to play for the first time a song that I wrote; and not only that, I was going to perform a song dedicated especially to Freckles. In front of her.

_Remember that time?_

_When you wouldn't talk to me?_

_You wouldn't talk to me_

_All night_

_Remember that song?_

_And all the words we'd sing?_

_Well here's a song I sing_

_All right_

_Remember that way?_

_How you'd never lie to me_

_'Cause you'd never lie to me_

_No way_

_You could be faking it_

_God, don't be like that_

_I don't like the way you act_

_'Round me_

I looked at the audience, they seemed to be enjoying the song, but I really didn't care. I only wanted to look at Freckles, to let her know that this song was for her. She was still looking down and she seemed to be very serious; as my friends were just looking at me curious, some of them clueless of the real meaning of the song.

_So baby come on, come on..._

_Oh, don't you tell me no_

_There you go again _

_You're ten out of ten _

_Sorry, did I just s-stutter?_

_Won't tell you what you know_

_There you go again _

_You were never my friend_

_You were never my-_

_You were never my lover! No._

This time I let out a bitter short laugh while looking at Freckles. She was now looking at me fixedly and with empty eyes, very serious, frowning slightly. I shifted my gaze to Joey and Meredith; they were looking at me just as serious, while Lauren and Joe seemed to be excited just as the rest of the audience. I looked at Freckles again, she was looking down again.

_Remember that night?_

_When I saw you standing there?_

_Dark eyes and dark hair_

_It's just you_

_Remember the way?_

_How you were way out of line?_

_And I was way out of time_

_For you_

_And I got your number_

_Right next to your name_

_But it ain't no thing, no_

_No it ain't enough _

_And I've got your word I know_

_But it's all I'll get_

_Trying to forget_

_Your kind of love_

I sang with a hint of bitterness, still looking fixedly at Freckles, who now propped her head on one hand, looking away, biting her lower lip and frowning. She didn't like the song, I knew it. She surely found out the meaning of my song.

_So baby come on, come on..._

_Oh, don't you tell me no_

_'Cause there you go again_

_You're ten out of ten_

_Sorry, did I just s-stutter?_

_Won't tell you what you know_

_But there you go again_

_'Cause you were never my friend_

_You were never my-_

_You were never my lover!_

_I know you could be better_

_Don't have to waste my time_

_It's not like I need you more than_

_I need me and mine_

_But I know that you want it_

_Trying to get you on it_

_Baby we could fuck the rights_

_Turn around and wrong it_

_Spare me your convictions_

_The promises you keep_

_I've got a better proposition_

_And the friction that you need_

_Don't you tell me that_

_You don't want to_

_Don't you tell me that_

_You don't want to_

I was about to finish the song, but I saw Freckles standing up with her purse. She was about to leave and I couldn't let it happen. So I stood up, still with the guitar and still singing; and I got out of the stage to walk to her. Everybody was looking at me and they thought I was doing this as part of the performance, but no. I was doing this because I didn't want Freckles to go before I finish the song. I practically ran to her and I stood right in front of her, to prevent her from moving from where she was. She looked at me disconcerted and frowning; I couldn't tell if she was angry or if she was sad, I didn't know her anymore. She tried to sidestep but I kept blocking the way. And I looked deeply into her eyes at the same time she looked at me again; and I sang right on front of her face.

_Oh, don't you tell me no_

_'Cause there you go again_

_You're ten out of ten_

_I'm sorry d-did I just s-stutter?_

_Won't tell you what you know_

_But this is the end_

_You were never my friend_

_You were never my-_

_You were never my lover!_

And I finished the song with a bitter short laughter right in front of her face as she was looking at me fixedly into my eyes, frowning and tense. I felt kinda bad when I finished the song in that bitter and harsh way, full of anger; because she looked at me as though she was hurt. But I couldn't regret at this point. When I finished the song, I got a lot of applauses. Freckles, Joey and Meredith were the only ones who didn't applaud. And right after I finished the song, Freckles took advantage to sidestep and walk away from me and she left the tavern. This time, I didn't stop her; I just walked to the stage to leave the guitar and come back to my table as people kept applauding and I was saying thanks. And when I sat, everything was really uncomfortable. Noah fortunately wasn't there because he went to the bathroom; but Joey and Meredith were looking at me as if they wanted to kill me or something. Joe and Lauren were the only ones that were smiling widely and kept applauding.

_**"That was totally awesome, bud!"**_ Lauren exclaimed loudly.

_**"That wasn't totally awesome, that was rude."**_ Meredith said harshly.

_**"And unnecessary."**_ Joey added. _**"Was that the supposed song you've been writing? How could have you sung it in front of her right now?"**_

_**"What? What if I sung it in front of her, eh? What the fuck, man? Am I not allowed to do the shit I want now? I didn't know that singing a song was forbidden now! Am I gonna go to jail now?"**_ I asked very annoyed and surly.

_**"I can't believe you're acting like that, man! You're not a teenager anymore, why do you act as such? And I get all that part that you don't wanna think about her anymore, but this is not the way! Hurting her is not the way, dude!"**_ Joey exclaimed in disbelief.

_**"I didn't know there was a right way! Whoa! Thanks for telling me, man!"**_ I exclaimed sarcastically, still feeling very annoyed.

_**"You're a total douche when you're like this, Darren. Seriously, man; you're cool, but when you act like this, I just don't recognize you."**_ Joey said frowning.

_**"Well, recognize me, because this is me. Look at my face! This is what I am! A stupid damn idiot who has been treated like shit by a girl who meant everything to him but he's a fucking no one to her! That is the fuck I am!"**_ I yelled very irked.

_**"I really don't get what's going on here..."**_ Joe said almost in a whisper while looking at us very disconcerted.

_**"Yeah, me either. Like... What are you talking about guys? What girl? Like, is there someone you want to forget, Darren? Who? And what is that entire thing he hurt her? I don't get anything."**_ Lauren added, also in a whisper and also looking at us astonished.

_**"Freckles, goddammit! We're talking about Freckles! She was my fucking girlfriend in high school, okay?"**_ I yelled in response, feeling angry. Joe and Lauren looked at me perplexed, with eyes wide open and raising eyebrows because of the surprise.

_**"What the hell, bro?"**_ Joe asked still puzzled.

_**"Yes, what you heard! She was my fucking girlfriend and now everything is fucked up. And I don't wanna talk about it. Holy shit, I don't even wanna talk about her."**_ I replied harshly. _**"And for the record, Joey... You said I hurt her but she hurt me before and she hurt me in a way worse way! And what with that, eh? Is she the only one who can come and mess up and then disappear after everything is screwed up? What about me? Do I have just to sit here and wait like a fool for the next time she's gonna appear and pierce me with needles in every part of my body like a damn voodoo doll?"**_

_**"What are you even saying? That had just no sense! What the fuck? And only because she messes up doesn't mean that you have to do the same. You don't even know if what she did was intentional, but what you did right now was intentional. And that was bad, man. Do not compare your actions with someone else's actions! You just gotta do what you consider is right, and I'm pretty sure you're aware that what you did was wrong."**_ Joey reproached me.

_**"You have no idea!" **_I yelled angrily.

_**"Whatever, Darren!" **_Meredith exclaimed annoyed._** "What you did was rude! I only brought her here so she could have fun and get distracted of all the shit she's going through and you just decided to act like that! What is wrong with you, Darren? I understand you're feeling like crap and all because she's not in love with you anymore as you'd have wished; but she's going through worse things! And you say that she doesn't care about you, but you don't care about her either; otherwise you'd have noticed that she's not feeling right since she came here! So stop acting like an egocentric teenager, Darren; because you aren't even like that!" **_Meredith also yelled upset and I looked at her stunned.

_**"What? What do you mean with that thing that she's going through worse things?"**_ I asked confused.

Now I was feeling a bit guilty because maybe Meredith was right. I was complaining that Freckles didn't care about me, but I either didn't care about her. I was thinking that she was silent because she really didn't want to see me and because she wanted to be with Noah; I never thought she could be going through a bad situation, therefore I didn't care about her.

_**"I think it's not proper to tell you that and less after the way you recently acted. So whatever... I'm gonna look for her, to try to make her feel at least a bit better. Thanks, Darren."**_ Meredith replied annoyed, standing up.

_**"No, wait." **_I said quickly, standing up. _**"I'll go for her." **_

_**"No, you won't do that. No way that you're hurting her more than you already did, Darren. I'm sorry, you're my friend and I love you, but you didn't act in a good way with her, and I like her, she's a good person. So, no." **_Meredith said roundly.

_**"No, I won't go there to hurt her. I just want to go and apologize, really. Please, I need to do it alone. I swear I'll just apologize."**_ I said feeling guilty and Meredith looked at me for a long time.

_**"Okay, I believe you only because I know you and I know you're not a bad person, Darren. Just... Be nice, she really isn't doing well." **_Meredith said softening her voice.

_**"Will be."**_ I said firmly. _**"Be right back."**_

So I walked slowly to the exit of the tavern; and yes, I was a bit nervous. I really didn't know why she wasn't doing well as Meredith said, but it didn't matter because I had to apologize for being rude when I sang like that in her face. I knew she was going to be mad at me; she probably was going to yell at me or maybe she was going to ignore me, but I was going to apologize anyway. When I got out, I found her leaning against the brick wall, smoking a cigarette, looking fixedly at nowhere in particular; she didn't even notice I was walking towards her. When I was close, she glanced at me and then she looked at the same point she was looking at before as she pulled a little smoke into her mouth, held it and then blew out the smoke. I just looked at her for a while in silence, not knowing how to start apologizing. She was just standing there, as if no one was next to her. I stepped closer, while placing my hands on my pockets and biting my lips nervously.

_**"Freckles..."**_ I whispered uncomfortable. She didn't answer, she just kept smoking. _**"I'm sorry."**_ I whispered. Again she didn't say anything at all. So she took the option of ignoring me. _**"I'm sorry."**_ I said louder.

_**"I heard you."**_ She answered curtly, still looking fixedly at the same point.

Well, now I really didn't know what to say or do. This wasn't the way I expected her to answer me. Like, really, what do you say after a response like hers? She threw the cigarette on the ground and stepped on it to put out. Then she looked at me, straight into my eyes. Her gaze was so intense and piercing that I felt a bit intimidated, so I had to look down.

_**"Why are you doing this, Darren?"**_ She asked frowning and serious.

_**"Because I need to apologize, I really acted like..."**_

_**"I'm not talking about that."**_ She interrupted me brusquely and I looked at her. She was still looking at me in a piercing way. _**"I mean, why are you doing all of this? Why do you act nice to me, then you act cold and harsh, then you sing that song...Why? What have I done to you?"**_

Freckles seemed to be desperate and I looked at her astonished. Well, I never expected these kinds of questions. I looked down and I started fluttering my eyes because of my nervousness. I couldn't tell her why I was being like this because I promised Meredith that I wasn't going to make her feel bad.

_**"I don't know... I was just having a bad day..."**_ I started lying, still looking down.

_**"Spare me your lies, Darren, and be honest right now. Come on, Darren, shoot it! This is your one chance to tell me all the things that I do that annoys you! Tell me, come on, tell me!"**_ She said angrily and I just looked at her bewildered. _**"Come on, spit the truth! Tell me what the hell I'm doing wrong to deserve being treated this way. Tell me!"**_ She said very loud, almost as a yell and I knew I was starting to lose my temper again.

_**"Do you really wanna know what annoys me? I will tell you. First of all, it fucking annoys me the way you talk to me."**_ I started saying angrily.

_**"What way? For fuck's sake!"**_ She exclaimed exasperated and upset.

_**"That way! That stupid way of yelling at me when I'm trying to do something nice. It gets on my nerves the way you're all the time searching for stupid lame excuses to treat me like crap, as though you enjoy it! Why the hell do you have to yell at me? Why the hell do you have that need to mess up everything?"**_ I replied yelling furiously.

_**"Well, you're yelling at me as well, Darren! Listen to yourself! And mess up what? What is that entire stupid thing you keep saying that I mess up everything, that I fuck up everything? What is that?"**_ She asked yelling.

_**"Isn't it obvious? You come here as if nothing happened, you play a little with other people's feelings and then you just laugh at them, making them feel miserable. Isn't that what you have done to me?"**_ I asked looking at her very angry and coldly.

_**"Isn't that what you have done to me, Darren? When you came into my life, played with my feelings a little making me believe I was loved, and then you laughed at me, leaving me there on my own, all fucked up, that night in the hotel room? Isn't that what you did?"**_ She yelled furiously and I looked at her in disbelief.

_**"What the fuck, Freckles? It's not my fault that you don't believe a damn shit of what I told you! I told you the fucking truth and you don't believe me. That hurts! That fucking hurts! You're constantly doing things to hurt me because you simply don't care a damn shit about me. You just don't care while I'm here all the fucking time thinking about you! You don't care and I'm this fool guy!" **_I yelled in a rage.

I was looking at her very furiously and she was looking at me in the same way. I noticed that now Noah, Joey, Meredith, Joe and Lauren walked outside, they probably heard the yells and came to see what was happening. But I didn't care if they were there or not; I was going to tell Freckles all the things I've been keeping inside all this time.

_**"I've spent a damn whole year trying to find you again and I've spent all days imagining that day I could meet you again; I've pictured it on my mind all the time and this isn't at all what I imagined! I thought you were going to believe me, but you didn't. I thought you were going to be back and we were going to be together again, but none of that happened, because everything was only on my mind! And this hurts because I'm still in love with you! Fuck! Yes, I am! And you only want to push me away, and I'm no one for you! All this time, you were moving on and I was stuck here, still having this feeling for you. And I'm trying to convince myself that I still have one small chance to get you back, but every day you prove me wrong! Every day you show me that you don't care at all how I'm feeling, you proved it me the other day when I was telling you something really important to me and you wouldn't keep texting your boyfriend! It broke my fucking heart, Freckles! It broke me and I had to hide it and that was painful! I'm sick of suffering for you, so do not expect me to be nice and pretend that everything is cool, because it isn't! Because I'm not right! And this is because of you! You and only you! You make me be a kind of person that I'm not, and I hate that! I hate being as I'm being right now when you're around!"**_ I yelled angrily but also feeling very distressed. I had stupid tears in my eyes now, and those were both tears of anger and tears of sadness.

_**"What boyfriend, Darren?"**_ She yelled furiously and in disbelief.

_**"That boyfriend! The boyfriend you brought tonight to make me feel like crap! How you dare to bring him when I'm around! How you dare!"**_ I yelled madly, pointing at Noah, but not looking at him.

_**"What the hell? He's not my boyfriend, for fuck's sake! You're a stupid paranoid guy!"**_ She screamed rabidly. _**"Only because you read that text message that day, only because you read he was calling me sexy girl, doesn't mean he's my boyfriend! I barely know who he is because we just met that day, Darren!"**_ She yelled and I looked at her a bit terrified. So she knew I read that. _**"And do not look at me that way! Yes, I know you read that text message, something you shouldn't have done, by the way! But whatever! You don't even know why I was texting him, you don't know anything, so you shouldn't blame me, because you just don't have any idea! And for the record, I apologized for that time! I already told you I didn't mean to make you feel bad or however I made you feel! I admitted I was wrong and I apologized, but you didn't take it! What else can I do, eh?"**_ She yelled angrily.

_**"You didn't mean it! You didn't care!"**_ I yelled really upset.

_**"I did mean it, Darren! And I did care!"**_ She replied also yelling. _**"And you say I don't care about you but you don't care a damn shit about me either! You have no fucking idea of what I'm going through, but you noticed I wasn't doing well, yet you didn't care! You didn't ask, you didn't do anything but treat me like crap and sing me a song telling that I was never your friend and I was never your lover. I was, damn shit, you know I was! You know that I was so in love with you and it was you the one who left me, not me! I don't know what you want from me! I don't know how you expect me to be, I'm trying my best but this is hard for me! Is hard for me trying to do the right thing while I keep remembering how you left me broken that day, how you made me feel as if everything was falling apart! You ripped me into pieces so small I wasn't sure I still existed! And I had to move on, Darren! I had to because I wasn't living my life because of you!"**_ She yelled pointing at me while she was shedding tears, tears of rage and tears of sadness as well. _**"I was destroyed, Darren! Destroyed because of you!" **_She yelled while crying.

Everybody was looking at us silently and in shock; neither of them could move or do something. Noah was the first one who attempted to walk to Freckles when he saw her crying; but Freckles, without even looking at him and still looking at me fixedly, pointed him.

_**"Do not dare to walk over here! Do not dare to mess up! This is a conversation between him and me and I don't want anybody to meddle!"**_ She yelled in a rage.

Noah stopped abruptly and everybody looked at her astonished. It was scary to see her angry. Yes, I've seen her mad in the past; but those times were nothing compared to now. She was really mad and out of her that it was scary. But I was also mad, as I was also feeling bad.

_**"And you say I make you feel like crap. Guess what, Darren? You make me feel like crap too!" **_She yelled angrily. _**"I have feelings too, Darren!"**_ She yelled in between tears and her voice cracked, but she kept looking at me furiously. _**"Everything is not only about you! And I'm sick of this stupid game we're playing! Let's start over! Let's be friends again! You and I both know that's not gonna happen, not as long as you keep hurting my feelings because you still want me to be that girl that I'm not anymore! And guess what, Darren? I also hate the person I am when you're around, that's not me! You make me be a nasty person and I hate that! And you make me feel guilty for everything, you make me feel a bad person, you make me hate myself! And I shouldn't feel like that! And you keep pressing me and I don't even know what you expect from me! And it's frustrating! Frustrating!"**_ Freckles yelled exasperated.

_**"I only expect you to respect me! I expect you to be nice to me as I try to be! But maybe I'm asking too much! Because you don't know how to stay; you only come, fuck up my life, and then you go away. Yours is not love, it is emotional tourism. And I finally realize it. And I hate you so fucking much for making me feel this way. I hate you!"**_ I yelled also in between tears, but feeling huffy; stepping closer to her.

_**"I hate you too!"**_ She yelled her lungs out in my face, crying.

And I abruptly kissed her lips.


	42. The special list

A/N: Hi guys! How are you all doing? I'm absurdly tired because I have like a lot of things to do between college, exams, my final thesis and my job. So it's like very early here but I can't wait to go to bed and sleep a little. So, if you find any typo or something senseless, it's because I'm half asleep and half awake! And I might be also a little bit out of words, so sorry for that! My apologies. Now, I'll answer to you all right now!

Nicole: I don't know why you FIND that to be pretty awesome, I FIND that to be pretty confusing; but as you, maybe I'll FIND out someday haha. Yes poor Brian, you have no idea all the things that are gonna happen, mwahahaha; I'll consider myself a cruel person. And Mandy is back! Huzzah! You'll get Mandy in this one chapter! It's funny to think that at first everybody hated Mandy and know everybody is happy to see her back. No Brian, Freckles and Darren triangle... Well, maybe you could call it a love triangle, but it's not so like that, it's weird, you'll see. Like this is the time when feelings and relationships are complicated, it happens sometimes in all human beings and I wanted to show that. Stutter! I love that song and I had to use it (gotta admit that maybe I didn't like so much how I used it, I hated myself for that because the original idea was to use it in a different way, but well, my stupid mind). In this part of college time, I'll use many of Darren's songs. Ah! I loved that cliffhanger! I enjoyed so much writing that cliffhanger, so you're totally allowed to call me little shit and hate me! haha. Have my spells lasted? Or has your insanity won? Well, my so-draco-nicole, hugs and butterfly kisses for you!

zahra auob: Zahra! Thank you a lot! But I must to admit that I feel bad because you'll never listen to Stutter again without thinking about that chapter, because the way I used it wasn't a pretty good way and I feel bad for that. I know, Brian will take more prominence in the story from now on, so you'll see that there are more things that are happening to him; but I won't tell all of them in one shot, it's like a progress. Oh yeah, you can have Brian if she rejects him, so be prepared to comfort him! He's sexy, so you'll like him. Yes, Freckles acts in a harsh way and it's because she still cannot forget the past (even if she keeps saying she did) and it's a process she'll have to face; because, as you said and I agree, without forgiveness there is no humanity. It's hard, it sometimes hurts our pride, and it takes a lot of time to truly forgive someone; but eventually you have to do it, for their own sake and also for your own sake. Have you been in that kind of situation? Oh wow, that surely was tough! I've never been in a situation like that (maybe because it's hard for me to express my feelings, I don't know); but I've seen from the outside those situations, so I believe it's something real that happens, so I found it interesting to show. I'm really glad you enjoy my evil drama! You'll get a lot of that, but I promise there will be some very sweet chapters. And Zahra, thank you very much for what you said in your P.S., you have no idea how much it means to me, now you can't see me, but ahh, I'll admit it, it made me shed some tears of joy. You surely read my tweet, to inspire people would be my biggest accomplishment in life; so there you know how much what you said means to me, how thrilled it made me feel. Thank you, I really have no words to thank you the enough. I wish you keep writing and keep being the real you.

alicegursk: abshbwhbaoqnaknsnijqsiw. Am I getting better in the fangirling (?) language? What was that? That was shit! That was me being a really cruel and heartless person who wanted to make you wait one entire week to read the next chapter after that damn cliffhanger! The dispute was intense, wasn't it? They threw up their real feelings into each other's face, in a tough and harsh way. Things in life that happen when someone explodes for being holding back repressed feelings. And life is complicated, therefore their relationship is complicated, and it'll be even more complicated. Before they get back together (if it ever happens as lovers), a lot of things will happen; they still have a lot to learn, to forgive, to process, and to experience; but, if we see the positive side... If they ever get back together, after all the things that will happen, their bond will be very strong. You're scared of what Freckles will do? Maybe you should be scared, but come on, read it anyway! Should I prepare the couch to sleep there?

Emma: Hi Emma! I'm really happy you decided to review every chapter! But if someday you can't or you don't feel like doing it, don't worry, okay? That's gonna be our deal! I don't mind to be stuck with you for the next months! And you'll be stuck for a lot of months! Maybe another year, picture that as an average, the story will have 100 chapters; so you're in time to regret your decision! haha. Thanks for saying that writing this fanfic improved my english! I don't know how that happened but I'm glad it's like that. Maybe with time it'll improve more, I'd love that; I'm also considering taking english courses but here are very expensive. You'll always get a weekly update! Well, I hope so! Because, for example, this entire week I couldn't write a single line because of my lack of time and I guess this will last till July; so I'm afraid it'll come a time I won't have chapters to update! But I'll think positively, everything will go well. I know, Freckles and Darren cannot be fine; always one of them is messing up, sometimes Darren, sometimes Freckles. And yes, Freckles is the one who makes more mistakes than Darren. This is the time when they start learning more about themselves and about others and how the way they act around can affect someone else, how they suddenly have to face their problems, how hard is to forgive and be forgiven, and how complicated things can be; that's what I want to show for now, maybe it could explain the way they're acting. Ah! I know it was a terrible cliffhanger! And their dispute was really tense and harsh, but at some point I guess they needed it, at least they were sincere, not in the best way, but well, it happens in life I guess. Well, I'll stop entertaining you and I'll let you read the chapter.

Vcriss: Oh yes! Unfortunately, for obvious reasons, I won't go to the tour, but I bet it'll be amazing (it's weird he's gonna play only kazoo and oboe; no piano, no guitar) But at least, I guess I'll be able to buy his solo album! Do you imagine Brian as Channing Tatum? haha, do you wanna know something funny? I don't know if you watched the movie 'The Vow', but Channing Tatum acts in that movie, and that movie inspired me to write about Brian; I don't know why though, because Brian is not like Leo, but it inspired me. So, I picture Brian as Channing Tatum, maybe with some features of his face modified; but his body is exactly the same, as Mandy described! haha. Thanks! I hope I can keep doing a good job with the story as you mentioned! Hope to never disappoint!

MeMi83: Memi, first of all, you made me laugh when you mentioned they could have destroyed stuff with their tension! haha, I pictured it like that while writing it! Like damn hell, everything is going out of control and everything is so dramatic and tense! But it ended with an abrupt kiss, something you were semi expecting! Now it's time to know how their reactions will be! Well, truth is, for some reason, I wanted them to have this kind of rough dispute; because somehow sometimes it happens in real life, when suddenly we explode and vent all we feel, all we've been holding back for a long time. I've never been in this situation, but it happens. I'm glad to know you're loving Brian as a character; with time you'll understand more things about him, but you were pretty close with your suppositions (you have a talent for figuring out things!). He seems to put other people first before himself and he hates bothering people about his problems, he is reserved, having his head screwed on right; there are reasons of why he does that and why he feel like that, but it'll take time to find out those reasons. And you'll get more of his pov, not in this chapter, but in the next chapter! I'm glad you found me on Twitter! I sent you a tweet, but surely you noticed I can't tweet so much (I used to tweet a lot and I miss that, but I need to be less busy!). You sent me fairy dust! It's funny because I recently wrote something with that! I'll send you a lot of kind and friendly elves and goblins, unicorns' magic and warm fuzzies!

amritsoomal: You liked that ending, didn't you? haha. Brian will stay around, but he might find someone else... Who knows? haha. And Joey's hook up... Umm! It'll be interesting... How was your music exam? And have you done the math and religious studies ones? You said you might read it all again from the beginning, have you done it? haha. Well, now you'll know what will happen after the kiss; I hope you can enjoy the chapter despite several things that will happen you might not like! Oh! Big fat chocolate cake! You have no idea how much I wanted one! I'll share it with you and in reward I'll give you virtual Nutella! Mmm, Nutella! (Picture Homer Simpson here)

Guest 1: I know! It seems like all of the college chapters are very dramatic and most of the time they end up in a bad way! It's sad to see them like that, I know that; but this is a process they have to face. Someday and somehow they'll work it out, maybe not in the expected way, but they'll make it through. I agree that one of them always messes up, that they need to work on their relationship very hard and they have to grow and learn a lot; yes, I agree it will take a while. But after all of that, their bond will be strong. They still need to experience a lot of things, together and also in their own separate ways. Sometimes the best relationships are those ones which sort all kinds of obstacles. Professor Adams, Jim, Karen... And more characters... Maybe they have something to do or maybe things aren't as they seem to be. Have I mentioned I love plot twists? Oh yes, Jim ruined everything, but as you said, if he hadn't done it, you wouldn't have something to read every weekend! I love Disney fairy tale happy endings; I love Freckles and Darren and this is their story; so you can totally believe they'll have a great and strong relationship, but maybe it'll take a lot of time. And no! It didn't sound pathetic! Don't you dare to think that! I love the fact you're a hopeless romantic. Romance and drama types of movies are my favorite! Maybe a lot of what I write is influenced on those movies I watched. Yes, it'll take a really long time till you get the happy ending, but the positive side is that you'll still have a lot of chapters to read! Well, I hope it's something positive! Don't worry because Darren/Freckles are my opt, of course. Yet, some things will happen with Brian, I wouldn't call it romance nor lovers; but something you'll see. I loved the way you tried to pair Brian off with someone! Oh, maybe he'll get more involved in the Starkid group... I already wrote something, yeah... Brian is gonna be happy, but it'll take time and for sure he's gonna be with someone really nice. Freckles or someone else? You'll see, haha. About Noah! Oh yeah, poor guy! If I were him, I'd have died of awkwardness! I really wouldn't have liked being in his place; and the poor guy had nothing to do with this.

GleeKof1: Well, good thing you want Darren and Freckles together! Because they're my otp, even though I like Brian. Ah! Maybe Brian will explode on her telling his feelings for her; but maybe not in the conventional way; Brian is different, he has another personality and other ways to express his feelings, this is for things that have happened to him that you'll find out within time. I don't think what you said is bad, and I don't think you should feel as a bad person. I actually think you're right... Brian should stop being so reserved, but well, that's his personality. So, on May you'll get a surprise update, maybe on my birthday I'll update! haha. Yes, I think I haven't showed the angry side of Freckles before, at least not this angry; and I wanted to show it, because we all have those moments of extreme angriness sometimes. And maybe this wasn't the best way to tell each other their feelings, but they finally did; it was something that needed to happen. Yes! Two abrupt kisses because I'm a bitch! haha. You talk and yell as they're in the story? Oh well, that's a really good thing for me that I make you get so into it! Otherwise, I guess it'd be boring for the reader to read the chapters. "Book"? Why like that? I must thank you for reading this!

vicky: Yes! I always love how you notice that despite the intense drama there are few good things! Yes, Mandy is back! And she'll be back in this chapter too! I needed to write about her, after all she's Freckles' sister and she needed to appear just as Jen appeared even if they're living in other states. It's funny how at first everybody hated Mandy and now you seem to miss her; I like it! I also like Stutter! But I think I shouldn't have used it that way in the story; I made it seem like it was a harsh song, and it's not like that! But it's just that some things fitted perfectly; and I want to put many of Darren's songs in the story! And I agree that from Darren's side was the best song to use but from Freckles' side the song was harsh. May I know why Brian's personality reminds you of yourself? I'm very curious, I know! I can't assure that things will get better for Brian, but he'll make it within time. Well, I mentioned Freckles' problems, but not in a direct way; and her problems aren't really her problems, but well, in this chapter those problems are gonna be mentioned. Yes! They literally exploded! And it happens in real life; everything going out of control and then… boom! Kiss. At least, as you said, they told each other their real feelings and it was time for them to do that. Ah! You're about to find out what's gonna happen after Darren kissed her!

PotterHead62: First off, this is your first review (if I'm not wrong), so I want to thank you a lot for reading this story! I hope you're enjoying it and I hope to keep you interested on this story. Now, thank you for saying this is amazing! I'm trying to make it interesting and not boring! And yes, I can leave it there with that precious hideous cliffhanger because I'm the devil itself in this human body. Please, don't think I'm creepy for the things I'm saying. I'm cruel, but I'm nice too! haha. Okay, I'll stop talking so you can read the chapter and finally find out what's gonna happen after that abrupt and unexpected kiss!

Caroline Boeira: haha, yes! Yes! Shit got crazy! The way they yelled at each other and the way Darren kissed Freckles while they were yelling and shit is crazy! But I agree, they needed that dispute, they needed to say their real feeling once and for all, even if it was with a fight. Now it's time to see Freckles' reaction to the kiss, and not only her reaction but also the reaction of all the people who were seeing them. Have you really wanted this situation to happen to you? That's amazing! I also always wanted it and never happened to me. It surely must be something like... Whoa, whoa! What is happening! Oh, so intense; haha, yes. You did wait a week to read the chapter! So now I hope you enjoy it... as you can! Until next week, Caroline!

Guest 2: I hope the waiting didn't kill you, otherwise you won't be able to read this, to read what's gonna happen now! It was one of the worst cliffhangers, right? When I wrote it, I actually didn't think it was one of the worst, but it turns out that it was. Ah! I'd love to be able to update more often, trust me. But I ain't got the time to write as much as I'd like, so unfortunately I can't do that. But I can update at least one Wednesday of each month; if I get to write more chapters. But unluckily I don't have much free time lately! Sorry!

Mockingjay-Potterhead-9: I don't think Sparkles has a lover! I mean, he should have told me that since he told me he wants to meet other unicorns because he feels alone! I told him that I know about Your Majesty, and now he's excited to meet her! He was even composing a song (he doesn't sing well, but it makes him happy so I just let him doing so, I thought Your Majesty would like to know this). Now I'll take a picture of him, and next week I'll give you the link, so Your Majesty can see how he looks like! And if she doesn't like him, at least they can be friends! I studied italian one year, and my teacher told me the same, she also told me that portuguese is very similar too, so it's hard to learn pretty well all of those languages. Na'vi! Ah! I never could learn it, it seems pretty hard, maybe I'm with stupid just as Britt t-shirt. Oh, don't feel ashamed because of that! I have a lot of friends who have done the same than you; they first watched the movies and they have recently read the books. The good thing is that they liked reading (I'm one of those annoying people who force other people to read, I don't know why I do that). Are you two weeks away from your exams? Oh god, you may be having a pretty hard time! Exams are a real pain in the ass, they give you no time for anything. So, I heartily wish you good luck with that! I hope everything goes well! Am I making you doubt too much if Brian is in love with Freckles or if I'm trying to fool you? Well, you definitely will find out the truth. But he does act suspiciously. Yes, if you see a guy crying it'll break your heart, trust me; so it's good that you haven't seen it. The other day I was with my mom walking and we saw an old man crying, it was heartrending and we shared this same opinion about the prejudice. It's unfair. I'm not one of these overly feminine women either, so I get your point and I loved what you said about all of us being equal, regardless of our appearance. And the gendering thing sucks, it only causes troubles and discrimination and well, I hate that. Don't worry, I got your point and I share your opinion. About the rain text! I don't know why I thought that, maybe because it was metaphoric and in high school I always got poor degrees when it came to write metaphoric texts. And Darren kissed her, right when they were yelling and all! How would Freckles and the people who were seeing them react? Time to know in this chapter! I hope you can enjoy it!

Okay, that was all guys! I thought I wasn't going to write too much, but well, I enjoyed your reviews and I couldn't help myself! Now, are you ready to read what will happen after that abrupt and unexpected kiss? Find it out in this new chapter! I hope you enjoy this new chapter, now… I wish you all a totally awesome week full of hot chocolate and candies! Warm fuzzies!

* * *

**Teenage Dream – Chapter 42 – The special list.**

* * *

I kissed her and I knew I shouldn't have kissed her; not after the way we treated each other. But I couldn't help it; it was an instinct. More than a kiss, it was like pressing my lips against hers while placing one hand on her jaw. She pushed me away in a harsh way and looked at me upset before she slapped me furiously. This was the first time she slapped me and I was in shock. I looked at her hurt as she was looking at me with tears in her eyes, really upset. Everybody was looking at me agape and stunned, but I wasn't looking at them, I was looking at Freckles.

_**"How you dare to do that, Criss!"**_ She yelled with cracked voice. _**"I'm done with all of this."**_ She said with cracked voice again, shaking her head.

I couldn't say anything; I was just feeling very guilty. I knew what I did was wrong, I knew that probably I deserved that slap; but still I was feeling sad. She turned around and started walking away.

_**"I'm sorry..."**_ I said honestly with cracked voice, but it sounded more like a whisper.

She didn't listen to me or she pretended to not have heard me; because she kept walking away. Noah attempted to walk behind her, but Freckles noticed and again, without looking at him, she yelled with choked voice.

_**"Do not follow me! I wanna be alone!" **_

Noah looked at her and then he looked at me frowning, but he didn't say anything; he just left his own way. In the meantime, my friends were looking at me very serious and still stunned, but I wasn't paying attention to them. I was just looking how Freckles was walking away from me, alone. I felt really bad. This time maybe I really screwed everything; nothing went good this night; it was very different than what I thought it'd be when I planned it with Joey. Nothing was fun, everything was a real shit. I looked down and bit my lower lip while frowning. Then I attempted to follow Freckles, to stop her and to tell her that I was really sorry; but Joey placed a hand on my shoulder to stop me.

_**"Do not go after her. You really screwed it up this time."**_ He said softly. He didn't sound mad, he just sounded worried.

_**"That was tough, dude."**_ Joe exclaimed almost in a whisper.

_**"Congratulations, Darren."**_ Meredith said sighing and shaking her head. _**"That was what you wanted, right?" **_

_**"No."**_ I replied with cracked voice, still looking down and frowning, feeling very guilty.

Meredith didn't say anything else and she walked behind Freckles. Joe, Lauren and Joey started walking away, their own way, surely to come back to the North Campus. And I stayed there, standing, looking down, feeling like crap, now alone.

_**"I really regret what I did."**_ I whispered with teary voice but no one listened. I was alone.

* * *

_**"You've been very silent, Sunny. Is there something wrong?"**_ Brian asked softly.

_**"No, everything is fine."**_ You answered with a faint smile.

You were already on the plane on your way to Virgin Islands and indeed, you haven't talked at all. You just didn't want to tell Brian the dispute you had with Darren because he had more serious things to worry about and what happened with Darren was silly and inconsequential compared to all the things that were happening to Brian. So you just didn't want to worry him with this stupid thing. Yet, you were feeling bad; that dispute made you feel really bad and the way he kissed right away your dispute was making you feel bad too.

_**"Hey, don't lie to me, Sunny."**_ Brian said softly again. You finally looked at him.

_**"It doesn't matter, Brian. It's something inconsequential."**_ You answered with a faint smile again.

_**"It doesn't seem like it's something inconsequential. You've been really off and silent and you aren't usually like that."**_ Brian insisted.

_**"Brian, really, it's something silly compared to what is happening to you."**_ You answered softly, looking through the plane window again.

_**"Sunny..."**_ Brian whispered apparently sadly, so you looked at him. He was looking down and he was frowning, and you knew he was indeed feeling bad. _**"Just because I told you what's happening to me and my dad, I don't want you to think that your concerns and troubles are less important, because they aren't. Saying someone can't be sad because someone else may have it worse, is just like saying someone can't be happy because someone else might have it better. I don't wanna think that what I told you is gonna change things and so then you won't tell me anymore what's happening to you, because that would make me feel bad."**_ He said still looking down and then he bit his lower lip.

_**"Brian..."**_ You said softly and moved closer to caress his hair. He looked at you now, so you smiled warmly at him. _**"It's not gonna change things, I promise." **_You said kindly and then you kissed his cheek as he closed his eyes and then opened them again. You rested your head on his broad shoulder. _**"I just had a dispute with Darren last Friday night. A really... Intense one." **_

_**"A dispute? How come? You were texting me that night, I remember, and you told me everything was going all right. Oh geez, what happened?"**_ He asked confused and you sighed.

_**"We just said, more like yelled, to each other all the things and feelings we were keeping inside. He wrote a song about me, saying that I was never his friend and I was never his lover and he sang it in a crowded place. He told me rude things, I told him rude things; everybody looked at us... He told me he hated me, I told him that I hated him... He kissed me, I slapped him and I went away. Summing up, that's what happened." **_You explained and then you sighed and frowned.

_**"Why have you said that? Do you really hate him?"**_ He asked frowning.

_**"No... I just said it because I was mad! He made me feel really bad and I'm sure I made him feel bad as well. Just... This thing between him and me isn't working. I'm just tired of it, I'm just tired of being a different person when he's around, I don't even recognize myself when I'm with him; somehow I turn into this nasty person and he also acts like a nasty person. Our relationship now is not good for neither of us. Maybe I should just walk away from him..."**_ You said sadly, looking down.

_**"Is that what you really want, Sunny?" **_Brian asked but you didn't answer._** "Maybe the solution is not to walk away; maybe the solution is to admit the fact that you both aren't being yourselves when together for some reasons. You need to find out which those reasons are and then have a talk in which neither of you are gonna yell, just a quiet and mature talk. Even if you both realize that is not gonna work, you'll feel better with yourself and you'll stop feeling bad."**_ Brian said softly, looking into your eyes and smiling slightly.

You huffed and hugged him, still resting your head on his shoulder. He held you in his arms and caressed smoothly your arms with his thumbs.

_**"Maybe..." **_You sighed._** "I'm just tired of all of this. I just want to disappear."**_ You said gloomy.

_**"I do think that sometimes you think you want to disappear, but all you really want is to be found."**_ Brian whispered and you looked straight into his eye.

Damn, he knew you way too much; he always knew exactly how you were feeling and what you were wishing, even if you never mentioned anything. How could he know all of that? He was the only one who could truly know everything about you, even the most secret things about you. You just didn't know how he could do that; but you were glad because he was your biggest support and he always knew what to say or do to cheer you up even when everything seemed lost. Yes, you'd never change your best friend.

_**"You're right about that."**_ You said still looking into his green shiny eyes. _**"How can you know that?"**_

_**"I know you more than you can imagine."**_ He smiled warmly, also looking into your eyes.

Wow, his eyes were really bright and there was the twinkle again. How come you never noticed before he always had a twinkle in his eyes whenever he was saying something nice? It was wonderful. But anyway, he was looking very deeply into your eyes and for some reason you felt a bit uncomfortable, so you looked away again.

_**"I really need to leave Darren behind because this is hurting me. And I'm aware that only by closing the doors behind you is when new windows open to the future. So yeah, I have to close that door that is my relationship with Darren, so I can find a new window where maybe something amazing for me is waiting to be found. I won't find it if I don't leave Darren and our story behind."**_ You said trying to convince yourself.

_**"Umm... Just try not to close too many doors or then you won't be able to recognize yourself and you'll forget the way back."**_ Brian said thoughtful.

_**"What do you mean with that?" **_You asked frowning, confused.

_**"That I agree that maybe closing a door is the way to open a new one. But closing a door, trying to force it, will end up hurting you more that if you don't close it."**_ Brian said and you kept looking at him confused; you really weren't getting his point. _**"What I'm trying to say is that pushing Darren and your story together away, and locking that from you, is not the way; because he made you be the way you are now, somehow."**_ Brian started explaining himself and you were listening to him very intently, yet you couldn't understand everything. _**"If you try to force your desire to leave him behind, you could be risking leaving behind a big part of you and when you realize that, maybe it'll be too late. Not only that, but you'll keep going and you'll leave Darren locked there with no way to escape, if you force it. If you want to put an end to your relationship with him because you think if you keep being like this things are gonna worsen; maybe the best option would be if you both close that door together and then you go different ways. But you need to do it with him, and for that a talk is necessary."**_ Brian said and you looked at him, thoughtful. Maybe he was right; after all, everything he said had sense.

_**"Probably you're right, Brian, as always. But I don't know if I can do it, because I know how it'd end up; I'll end up suffering again and feeling down and I don't want it. I'm just tired of being sad. Lately I've been like that since I saw him again."**_ You said gloomy, sighing, still hugging him.

_**"Listen, Sunny... Like the rainbow after the rain, something good always happens after experiencing pain. So, just dare to do it."**_ Brian said with a warm smile, looking into your eyes. _**"The only thing you don't have to forget is that wherever you go, no matter the weather, always bring your own sunshine. Not for nothing I call you Sunny."**_ He said smiling fondly at you and you smiled back.

_**"Aww, you're so sweet, Brian." **_You said smiling and nuzzling your nose on his neck before you kissed his cheek. He shivered when you did this, so you looked at him frowning.

_**"It's just... You tickled me."**_ He answered a bit uncomfortable and you giggled softly and then you looked at him mischievously.

_**"What? Doing this?"**_ You said mischievously and then you started nuzzling your nose on his neck again as he shivered again.

_**"Yeah, that..."**_ He answered in a whisper with his eyes closed. You looked at him amused and frowning, you never saw someone who reacted like this while being tickled; it was weird. Then he opened his eyes again. _**"Stop, please."**_ He said a bit uncomfortable.

_**"Okay..."**_ You said amused and still frowning because of his reaction, and you stopped. _**"I didn't know you were a ticklish person." **_

_**"Me either. But well, it turns out that I am."**_ He said shrugging and looking away, frowning slightly.

_**"Well, now I found a perfect way I could make you do what I want if there's something I want to get from you."**_ You said smiling mischievously.

_**"You really don't have to resort to that if you want to get something from me. You just have to talk and you will always get from me what you want, it was always like that."**_ Brian said in a whisper, still looking away.

_**"Is it really that easy?"**_ You asked curiously.

_**"It's really that easy..."**_ He answered again in a whisper.

_**"Does it mean that I have a super power?"**_ You asked amused and he looked at you and chuckled.

_**"You have a super power, yeah."**_ He said still chuckling and looking at you in a cute way.

_**"Can my super power be work on other people?"**_ You asked still amused.

_**"I don't know."**_ Brian replied shrugging. _**"But you'll always get me."**_

_**"That's good enough."**_ You said smiling cheerfully and he looked at you deeply into your eyes; then he opened his mouth and was about to say something, but then he closed it again and looked away. _**"What? What were you going to say?"**_ You asked intrigued.

_**"Nothing... I was about to retort you with a joke, but I couldn't think of anything good to say." **_He replied looking away, but he was a bit nervous. Anyway, you giggled softly.

_**"Don't worry, someday you'll win me. For now, I'm just gonna enjoy my victory."**_ You said smiling victoriously.

_**"Ah! Why do I sense that I will never win?"**_ He exclaimed with a sigh and you giggled.

_**"You love me anyway, don't you?"**_ You asked amused and he looked straight into your eye again. He stayed silent for a while.

_**"Of course yes."**_ He answered with a slight smile, still looking intensely into your eyes.

Brian and you kept talking about random things for a little more until you fell asleep. After a few hours, you finally arrived to Virgin Islands and Brian had to wake you up. Now you were very excited to get out of the plane. You've never been in this place, you only saw some pictures and it seemed to be a very beautiful place with awesome beaches. And you weren't excited only because of that, you were also excited because finally you were going to see Mandy again. You missed her so very much. But there was something that was worrying you and Brian wouldn't stop reminding you: You needed to tell her that you met Darren again. You were sure she was going to freak out and she was going to take it in a bad way; not to mention she was going to act in a very overprotective way. You only wished you could spend a good time in that amazing place next to your sister and your best friend.

_**"Mandy!"**_ You screamed in happiness as soon as you saw your sister there, waiting for you and Brian.

Mandy came running towards you and Brian and she hugged both of you very tightly. It was good to be reunited again with two of the people you loved the most. Suddenly, all your bad temper faded away and for the first time in weeks, you didn't think about Darren.

* * *

I wasn't going to give up, not even after the twenty-five times I called her and she didn't answer me, not even after the twelve text messages I sent her and she didn't reply. Yes, I had her phone number since she called me that time to apologize; so I wouldn't stop trying to communicate with her. I knew that the most probably was that she wasn't going to answer me, but I needed to try. I wanted to apologize and this thing was like killing me because of my remorse. Now everybody, all of my friends, knew what happened that night; all of them already knew that Freckles wasn't a random girl of my high school but now they knew she was my girlfriend. Some of them were offended because I didn't tell them; some of them were just surprised; and some of them, especially Meredith, were mad at me. And all this time, all I did, was to try to be alone. Not because I couldn't deal with what they had to tell me, but because I needed to think about what happened and to think what I wanted from now on, to think how I was going to fix this. So there I was, on a Sunday, sitting against a random tree in the North Campus, alone, still trying to communicate with Freckles. The voicemail again.

_**"Hey Freckles, this is Darren... Listen, I'm sorry for being so insistent, but I'd really like to talk to you; I really wanna apologize. Please, call me or text me back. Please, I'm really sorry."**_ I said for the twenty-sixth time.

I put my phone aside, I sighed and then I lay down in the grass, just to look at the sky and think about Freckles. Why was I doing this? I was supposed to feel happy of being able to see her face again; but it wasn't like that, I always felt bad and mad. I couldn't get why I was feeling so upset of seeing her moving on without me; I shouldn't feel upset, I should feel glad for her, I should feel happy because she was happy and that was what I always wanted for her. But the fact I was still stuck here, still dreaming of her, still dreaming of holding her in my arms again was making me feel down. This was selfish from me, I knew that but I couldn't help it. I knew that I needed to change my attitude, because this wasn't good either for me or her. Even if I was still feeling something for her, I had to let her go; even if it was hard, even if it was going to hurt me; I had to do it. Now maybe I could have a small chance to be her friend. But for that I really needed to change my attitude; admit that she was different now and be good with that; admit the fact that she didn't feel the same than me and not get mad about it; be ready to deal with things such as seeing her with another guy and not feel jealous; and minding the fact that I won't be allowed to call her names as baby, hug and kiss her like before, and just spend all the time with her. She had a life now and I had my life and I needed minding the fact that we weren't going to be the same as before; for that I could be her friend again, at least her friend. But to get all of that, I needed to be alone for a while and just focus on that. However, I needed to have my mind clear to get that; and for that I needed to apologize to her; so then maybe I could really be able to start again. So I tried to call her again, and over again, she didn't answer. I sighed and I looked at the sky again, therefore I started thinking about Freckles again.

_**"Here you are!"**_ Joey said sitting next to me.

_**"We've been looking for you since hours."**_ Julia said, also sitting next to me.

I didn't answer, I knew why they were looking for me and it was to talk about Freckles and what happened; it was what they were trying to do all this time, but I never said anything at all. First I needed to find out what I really wanted, so I couldn't talk to them about this because probably later I was going to change my mind.

_**"How are you, Darren?"**_ Julia asked.

_**"I'm good."**_ I answered still looking at the sky.

_**"Here, we brought apple juice."**_ Julia said handing me a Minute Maid apple juice bottle. I was glad they didn't insist with that thing of telling me that I wasn't really good.

_**"Oh, thank you!"**_ I said smiling slightly, grabbing the bottle.

_**"Yeah, we brought RedVines as well. Here, take some."**_ Joey said handing me a package of RedVines. Now I started looking at them suspiciously.

_**"What's all of this about?"**_ I asked suspiciously.

_**"Nothing, we just wanted to eat outside."**_ Joey replied shrugging while eating a RedVine.

_**"Sure, like a picnic."**_ I said nodding as I took a sip of apple juice.

_**"Exactly like that."**_ Julia answered cheerfully.

They were hiding something; I knew there was something they weren't telling me or something they wanted to ask... This wasn't about a simple picnic, I knew them. Anyway, I played dumb.

_**"Oh, and we brought a notebook and a pen!" **_Julia exclaimed pulling out from her backpack a notebook and a pen. Yes, I was totally suspecting something. What were they up to?

_**"Yeah, and we brought this too."**_ Joey said pulling out something from his backpack.

I recognized it instantly and I felt really upset. I looked at Joey frowning and serious, and I took it off of his hands abruptly, pulling it to me, holding it tightly against my chest while I looked annoyed at them. They brought the box that I had hidden in my closet, in which I had all the things related to Freckles: All the photos, notes, letters, songs, material things that belonged to her, everything. This was something very private, so I was mad at that; I was mad at the fact they've been digging my private things.

_**"What are you doing with this? This is something private, dammit."**_ I said coldly, annoyed. _**"You shouldn't have poked all my private things. And I had this well hidden! How you dare!"**_ I exclaimed in disbelief, still upset.

_**"Well, Darren, we've tried to talk to you about Freckles but you're reluctant to talk, so maybe this was going to work."**_ Julia explained quietly. _**"We're trying to help you because you're not doing well."**_

_**"I don't care a damn shit! You broke in my privacy! This... This is unbelievable! You can do whatever you want to me, but not this!"**_ I exclaimed really upset.

_**"We didn't open it, Darren; so calm down." **_Julia said softly.

_**"I don't care if you opened it or not! This was your idea, Joey! I know that! You were the only one who knew about this box!"**_ I said looking at him madly, while pressing the box against my chest.

_**"Yes, it was my idea."**_ He replied firmly. _**"And don't get mad, pal. We're only trying to help you."**_

_**"I don't want any help." **_I said coldly, looking away, still holding tightly the box against my chest.

_**"We don't give a damn shit if you want it or not. We're gonna do it anyway, because friends are just that stubborn."**_ Joey said roundly. _**"And you're gonna do what we tell you to do."**_

_**"With no excuses."**_ Julia added just as roundly.

_**"Excuse me? Are you forcing me? Please..."**_ I said bitterly, still looking away.

_**"Yes, we are."**_ Julia said.

_**"I won't do..."**_

_**"Shut up, Darren."**_ Joey interrupted me. _**"We're not gonna force you to talk because we already know you don't want to do it, so we respect your decision."**_

_**"But we also think that if you continue keeping all those feelings inside you and you don't release your feelings, you're gonna end worse than you already are. Sometimes there's nothing worse than overthinking everything and act only with your brain. You need to release those repressed feelings somehow, and the best way is with a talk, but if you don't want it, okay... But you have to do something else, then."**_ Julia explained and I was still looking away, feeling upset; however I was listening to them.

_**"Totally. So this is why we brought that box, the notebook and the pen."**_ Joey added. _**"We thought that probably you would want to be alone. So..."**_

_**"So we thought that maybe you could feel good if we leave you alone with that stuff."**_ Julia said. _**"The idea is that, once alone, you can open that box and take a look again of all the things that are inside it."**_

_**"Yeah, like a moment you take to remember all the things about Freckles."**_ Joey said.

_**"Yep. So, take your time to look at all that stuff and just try to remember everything; try to remember how she was and what you experienced with her. Put into words what you feel when you see all of those things."**_ Julia said.

_**"Right after, think about how she is now and ask to yourself what things of her had changed and what hadn't; ask yourself if you're still in love with her or if you're still in love with the person she used to be." **_Joey said.

_**"Right. And ask to yourself if it is worth it to be suffering because you can't have her or not. In case you find out you still love her, you truly love her the way she is now, ask to yourself if it is worth it or not to fight for her to get her back; then consider all the things you'd do to get that, all the things you'll have to do and all the things you'll have to risk to get it; ask to yourself if all of those things are worth it to do or not."**_ Julia said looking fixedly into my eyes.

_**"And in case you find out that you don't love her anymore the way she is now; ask to yourself if it is worth it to keep her as a friend or not. Then ask to yourself, again, if it is worth it to keep thinking about her all the time and keep blaming yourself for all the things you've done or not."**_ Joey said, also looking fixedly into my eyes.

_**"And after all of that, you'll be able to make a right decision because you'll know what actually you want. Put it all into words; all your feelings, memories and thoughts; it helps a lot to clear your mind that I'm pretty sure it's a mess right now."**_ Julia said softly.

I thought about what Joey and Julia told me for a while. Actually their idea could work; maybe it was a good idea. Yet I was still mad at them because of what they did. Anyway, I was thankful they were helping me out, although I said I didn't want any help.

_**"I'm still mad at you."**_ I said serious and Joey and Julia looked down and sighed. _**"But I'll try to see if this works. So, thank you anyway."**_

_**"You're welcome, buddy."**_ Julia said smiling friendly.

_**"We'll leave you alone now... Just take your time, dude." **_Joey said and I nodded with a faint smile.

When Joey and Julia walked away and once they were out of my sight, I placed the box on the grass and I opened it. I stared at it without doing anything for a while. I grabbed the notebook and the pen and I started writing some stuff.

**"I don't wanna see what's inside. I'm afraid that seeing all of those things again will open the wound that I'm trying to heal. I'm afraid to remember all the things we experienced and that vanished as our love faded away. I'm afraid of being the guy who still keeps everything of her while she's the girl that probably burned all the things that made her remind me. I know this could help me to get over her; but what if this makes me love her even more? What if this makes me feel bad because I can't have all the good things once I had with her? What if I still love her? I know she doesn't love me back. But I have to do it. I'll give it a chance."**

I looked at the open box for a little more. I still couldn't see the things that were inside. I wasn't sure if this was a good idea because I was already feeling sad. Was I supposed to feel sad for our memories? Should it be a sad thing or not? Was this a good or bad sign? Damn, I really needed to do it. I couldn't be so stupid. I grabbed the notebook again and wrote more things.

**"I've changed. I'm a different person now. I'm stronger. I can do it."**

I moved the box closer to me and I grabbed the first thing that I saw. It was, of course, the photo of both of us; the photo we took when we just started dating. I saw it for a long time and I started remembering all of that day; we had our first dispute as a couple that day, but at the end everything worked out because we both loved each other so much to end everything. She looked precious in that picture, and she looked so different now. Man, that was my favorite picture. We were so young and so happy; we were innocent and we were hurt because of all we had to go through but there was hope and happiness in our eyes; because we were together. If only I could be so close to her like that time; if only I could make her smile so bright like in that moment; if only I could see those big and shiny eyes looking at me fondly again. I moved the photo to my mouth and I kissed it, as if I were kissing her lips again. I kept seeing all the pictures we had together: random pictures; funny pictures; cute pictures; a photo of the prom, gee, she looked flawless. I read all the notes she wrote me; I read the letters she wrote me; I saw her red hairband she once forgot in my house; the pink t-shirt I always lent her whenever she spent the night at my home; the first candy she gave me and I never ate; the moustache comb she gave me when I saw her again here; the paper in which I wrote the first song dedicated to her, called 'The coolest girl'; her favorite book of Sherlock Holmes that I read thousand times only because it was her favorite one; the small teddy bear I bought for her and I never had the chance to give it to her. The song I wrote for her and I still couldn't sing to her. There were so many things and I was feeling very thrilled, but I didn't want to cry. Instead, I grabbed the notebook and the pen.

**"Things I loved about Freckles: **

**1. Her always adorable freckles, more noticeable in the sunlight.**

**2. Her big shiny and lovely eyes along with her long eyelashes. Those amazing eyes that could tell me things without the need of talking. **

**3. Her bright smile. It always made me smile even in those moments I was feeling really bad. **

**4. The sound of her laughter. It's so catchy. **

**5. Her perfect mouth. The taste of her lips, the pleasant feeling I had whenever I kissed them. **

**6. Her long hair. It was so soft.**

**7. Her kisses, caresses, and hugs. Just feeling the warmth of her body. **

**8. The way our hands fitted perfectly. I miss holding her hand. **

**9. The way her voice sounded while singing: A mellow voice out of tune.**

**10. The way she tried to play the guitar and her short fingers couldn't reach the strings. **

**11. The way she played with her fingers when she was nervous or uncomfortable. **

**12. The way she shifted her eyes when she was lying about something silly. She never was good at lying. **

**13. Her handwriting. **

**14. Her impeccable intelligence and cleverness.**

**15. Her kindness, humility and sympathy.**

**16. The way she inspires love, peace and hopes. **

**17. Her ability to give people second chances even when those people don't deserve it.**

**18. Her strength to keep going even when things are really bad and it seems all the hopes faded away. Her strength to keep going after all the shitty things she had to go through.**

**19. Her smell. How would I forget about her addictive smell?**

**20. The way she blushed whenever I said she looked gorgeous.**

**21. When she's mad, crosses her arms, frowns and huffs. It was so adorable that I always had to hold back my laughter. **

**22. The way my family loved her since the very first time they met her. It's impossible not to love her.**

**23. The way she is with kids. I'll never forget when she met Jen's cousin; even he loved her since the first time.**

**24. The way she believes that everybody is good at heart, despite everything.**

**25. Her clumsiness! Hell yeah!**

**26. The way she babbles and rambles when she's nervous. So damn cute.**

**27. Our very long talks about everything.**

**28. The way she called me Dare.**

**29. Her peaceful face when she's asleep.**

**30. Her face and especially her eyes whenever she watched the stars. **

**31. The way she always laughed at my silly jokes and more when she continued them.**

**32. Because she had an imaginary friend, her pillow, called Bobby. That was cute.**

**33. Because she's the only one who met my dragon Ted that lives in my bedroom in San Francisco.**

**34. Because she's able to forgive unforgivable mistakes that people make.**

**35. Her rosy cheeks and her silly giggle when she's tipsy.**

**36. Because she always said the perfect thing at the right time when I needed the most.**

**37. The way she dances. She's so good!**

**38. Because she's one of the few people that can rock a beret. **

**39. Because she's the only one who could make me feel million butterflies being farted out of a unicorn on my stomach. **

**40. Her beauty. **

**41. Because she was my best friend besides being my lover. **

**42. The way she always was herself no matter what.**

**43. Her sweet voice whenever she said me 'I love you'. **

**44. Because we had that special place where we kissed for the very first time and where we shared our fondest moments.**

**45. Her only presence next to me.**

**46. Because we had a special connection. Irreplaceable.**

**47. Her kind of love and affection that no one ever could give me. **

**48. Because with her I learned what real love is.**

**49. Because she changed my life.**

**50. Her heart of gold. Priceless. The best of her.**

**That's a long list and I'm sure there are still a lot of more things. I still think that the admirable thing is that she always could keep fighting and creating beauty in the midst of a barbarous and hostile world. I loved her with all my being. She was perfect to me. We shared so many things together, she was my real love.** **I do believe that we just don't recognize the significant moments of our lives while they're happening. We grow complacent with ideas, or things, or people and we take them for granted, and it's usually not until that thing is about to be taken away from you that you've realized how much you need it; how much you loved it. I can't understand why it ended if what we had was one of the best things someone can have. Only one thing that happened changed everything maybe forever. I really thought we were meant to be together, why did it change? This is unfair. I still think that a love like that can be found only once. She was my world."**

I couldn't help it but shedding a few tears after I wrote all of that, because I was impressed about all the things I could remember that were still there on my mind. And thinking about all those little things about her that I loved so much... Damn, if only I could have appreciated them more when I had the chance, when I still had her. But as Joey and Julia said, I still needed to think about the things of Freckles that have changed and also about the things that haven't changed. I read the list I wrote and I started a new list.

**"Things about Freckles that have or have not changed:**

**1. The adorable freckles are still there. Always. **

**2. The big and shiny eyes are the same as always. But now when I look at them is different: Now she doesn't look at me in that lovingly way she used to look at me; now I can't find out what her eyes try to tell me. There's something different in her look that I don't like so much.**

**3. Bright smile. Yes. Still breathtaking. But sadly, most of the time, those smiles aren't directed to me.**

**4. The sound of her laughter is still catchy and amazing; but I haven't heard it so much. **

**5. Perfect mouth, always. I couldn't kiss her lips so many times as I'd have liked, she doesn't want it. But when I did, the taste and the feeling were the same as before, only that it wasn't a giving and receiving thing, it was only giving from me.**

**6. Her long hair doesn't exist anymore. She has short, very short hair now. It looks very sexy on her, but I kinda miss the long hair. **

**7. Her kisses, caresses and hugs; everything is gone now. She doesn't kiss me, she doesn't caress me and the times she hugged me, it felt as if it was only because she felt forced and not because she meant it. **

**8. Our hands still fit perfectly. But I'm not allowed to do that now. **

**9. Her voice singing is way better as I remember. She became a good singer; I totally love that. **

**10. Damn, she learned how to play guitar; her fingers now reach the strings. Yeah, she still has more to learn, but she's moderately good at it and I know she would master it eventually.**

**11. She still plays with her fingers when nervous. I still find it adorable, but maybe not much as before. Maybe it's only because I'm trying to forget her that I try to find lame excuses.**

**12. She still isn't good at lying at some things. But I think she's good at lying about other stuff. There's something about her that is just suspicious. I just have that feeling, I don't know.**

**13. Her handwriting. I still didn't have the chance to see it again. But surely it's amazing as always.**

**14. She is still the most intelligent and clever person I've ever met. And besides, she is into arts now and she's pretty good. That only makes her even more awesome. **

**15. Alright... I can't be objective about this. Maybe she is still kind, but with other people, not with me. I And I don't know, my friends tell me she is humble, but there's something new about her that makes me see her as if she was a bit conceited now; maybe because she's aware of her beauty and sexiness, she truly looks like a model now. And her sympathy... Sometimes. Definitely I don't see all those things she had before, she's different now about that and I don't like it so much. But she only acts different with me.**

**16. The way she inspires love? Oh no, I can't see it on her now. Well, actually she still says some nice things, but she doesn't inspire love, at least not in front of me. **

**17. Her ability to give people second chances? Well, she gave me a second chance but it didn't last. Maybe it didn't last because she actually didn't want to give that second chance. And anyway, she didn't believe me. **

**18. Yeah, definitely she still can keep going... She kept going without me. **

**19. She still has that addictive smell that drives me crazy. **

**20. I didn't tell her so much that she looked gorgeous because I didn't want to screw things, but she doesn't blush so much as before. Maybe because, as I already said, she is now pretty aware of her alluring features.**

**21. When she's mad she doesn't look adorable, she looks scary. **

**22. My family misses her. They still love her and they keep asking me about her... It's exasperating. Well, Chuck is the only one who doesn't ask because he knows it hurts me when someone mentions her. **

**23. I didn't see her with kids again. But I'm sure she is still as sweet as she was. She's a nice person, except when she's around me. **

**24. I can't know this. I don't know if she still thinks everybody is good at heart. Probably not otherwise she wouldn't have said she hated me.**

**25. She is still clumsy. That's not gonna change and I love that.**

**26. She still babbles and rambles when she's nervous. But she isn't nervous so often now. She's way more self-confident now. Maybe this is a good thing in terms she isn't so conceited.**

**27. Our very long talks? That was only in the past. We cannot have a long conversation anymore. That sucks.**

**28. She only called me Dare once now. It made my heart go wee. Literally. **

**29. She still has a peaceful face when she's asleep. It's beautiful. **

**30. Man, she still loves watching the stars and when I had the chance to observe her while doing that, I felt a huge feeling of love for her because somehow it made me remind to the old Freckles. Yeah.**

**31. Sometimes she laughed at my jokes and sometimes she continued them. But we didn't have so many fun times; most of the time we have crappy moments in which everything ends up in a bad way. **

**32. Bobby? I think it doesn't exist anymore.**

**33. Ted misses her, and more knowing that probably he won't see her again. **

**34. She did forgive me. But she didn't mean it. And it hurt. So much.**

**35. I only saw her tipsy once now; she still has rosy cheeks and a silly giggle. I really like that.**

**36. She didn't say anymore the perfect thing at the right time. Actually, she doesn't care about it anymore.**

**37. I couldn't see her dancing again. I wish I could, though.**

**38. She still rocks the beret. She looks like a French girl now with her short hair; man, she looks undoubtedly sexy with the beret. She is so sexy.**

**39. She still makes me feel the butterflies in my stomach. I think I'll always feel that whenever she is close to me. **

**40. She is still beautiful; so fucking beautiful. And sexy. And perfect. But she's way too skinny. **

**41. She's not my best friend and she's not my lover. We aren't even friends now. Fuck that. **

**42. Is she herself now? I don't know. I don't know her anymore.**

**43. I shouldn't have written that before because now I'm feeling like shit. She never said 'I love you' to me now. If only...**

**44. We still have that special place and we'll always have it... But now that place looks empty and sad without her; without us. How much can change the significance of a certain place?**

**45. I won't say anything about this because there's nothing to say, because her presence next to me is non-existent.**

**46. We lost the special connection. I hate that.**

**47. ... No words. Stupid me that wrote that.**

**48. Yeah, I still think that with her I learned what real love is, which doesn't mean that I still have it.**

**49. She changed my life. Yes.**

**50. Her heart of gold? Man... This is not helping.**

**Fuck. This didn't help at all. I'm more confused than before. So, based on what I wrote, what the hell do I need to do? I still don't know and I'm feeling like crap now. There are a lot of things I don't like about her now, but there are also things I still love about her; but then there's also the fact she acts different with me, she doesn't act in the same way with other people, she's nicer to other people. What does it mean? Am I the problem here? Is this all my fault? I can't know. She has changed for sure. If there was one thing I could answer is that I can't be in love with her, because actually I'm still in love with her the way she used to be, not the way she is now. But I still have this feeling in my chest when I see her... Maybe it was because before I couldn't see how much she changed; maybe now it is going to be different. So, maybe the accurate answer would be that I don't love her anymore. Maybe it's not worth it to keep thinking about her all the time, but I can't help it. Maybe it's not worth it to keep blaming myself for everything, maybe I should just enjoy the things I have and not complain and feel bad for the things I don't have. Maybe it's time for that. Is it worth it to keep her as a friend? Maybe it is. I just can't let her go, I can't walk away from her because I know that if I do it, I'll regret in the future. Am I screwed? Probably not. I just need to start a new life without her... At least without her as the girl I love. Maybe the better will be if I stop with this thing of getting her back, so I'll only remember her as a good thing that happened to me in the past and not as a bad thing. Maybe that's the solution of my problem. Yes. At the end, this thing worked; it was hard, but it worked. At least, I'm not so lost and confused… I wanna think that."**

_**"Oh, snap! All this time I was trying to start over again with her. Now I realize, how could I get it if first I don't try to start over again myself? First I have to make that change to myself to be able to make the change with other person. Oh man, that is the real deal. Yeah, I, Darren Everett Criss, am gonna start over again to make of my life a totally awesome thing."**_ I whispered to myself.

I looked around. Oh man, it was very dark already. I spent the whole damn day doing this; I didn't even realize that I took so much time. Right after I put in the box all the things about Freckles, I looked at my phone. Freckles didn't call me nor texted me back. Well, maybe she also needed time for herself. Anyway, now the only thing I wanted to do was to apologize. I was feeling a bit better now. I stood up to come back to my room. When I arrived there, Joey and Julia were talking about an assignment. I just walked in with a smile and they looked at me curiously.

_**"So? Did it work?"**_ Joey asked.

_**"Yeah, I think it worked, yeah."**_ I admitted, still smiling. _**"Thank you guys."**_

_**"You're very welcome, Darren."**_ Julia said smiling friendly and she stood up to hug me. Of course I hugged her back and I giggled softly. _**"So, what do you think now?"**_

_**"Umm, well, I realized that sometimes you will never know the true value of a moment until it becomes a memory."**_ I admitted when I remembered all the things I loved about Freckles and I didn't appreciate so much before.

_**"What does it mean?"**_ Julia asked frowning.

_**"Well, that I found out a lot of things that I loved about her. So many things that I didn't even know."**_ I replied smiling softly.

_**"Does it mean that you're still in love with her?"**_ She asked again curiously.

_**"No, I'm not. I don't love her anymore. I just loved the way she used to be." **_I answered softly, shrugging and both Julia and Joey nodded. _**"Do you think people can change?"**_ I asked thoughtful. I needed to be sure of this.

_**"Of course." **_Joey replied.

_**"What if you don't like that change?"**_ I asked frowning, thinking about all the things Freckles changed.

_**"Then…maybe they aren't the person you knew."**_ Joey answered shrugging. _**"But you also need to ask yourself why you don't like the change. Is it because of them or because of you?"**_ Joey asked raising an eyebrow.

_**"Yeah... I think it's because of me..." **_I replied sighing, looking down. _**"The only thing I'm very sure about is that I shouldn't have to suffer for her."**_

_**"Oh, buddy; let me tell you something."**_ Joey started saying and I looked at him again. _**"The ego says, 'I shouldn't have to suffer', and that thought makes you suffer so much more. It's a distortion of the truth, which is always paradoxical. The truth is that you need to say yes to suffering before you can transcend it." **_He said and I looked at him amazed. Whoa.

_**"Yeah... whoa. I never thought about it, but yeah, you're right, I guess."**_ I said frowning slightly, thoughtful. _**"Whatever, I decided that the best is if I let her go. Not like letting her go forever and not see her again. I'll apologize and I'll like to be her friend. There are still a lot of things I like about her; maybe she and I can be friends. Who knows?"**_ I asked shrugging. _**"But first I need to... let's say to restore myself. I think I should focus on the things that make me happy instead focusing on her."**_

_**"Well, seems a good decision."**_ Julia said smiling friendly, still wrapping her arms around me. _**"Come back to be the goofy Darren we all know."**_

_**"Oh yeah! That will happen, let's call it goofy myself enhanced."**_ I said laughing softly.

Yes, maybe this was going to be a good thing.

* * *

_**"Alright, Brian, one more shot in that pose!"**_ Mandy yelled while Brian was in the warm water, posing in swimsuit.

You were right next to Mandy, also in swimsuit, looking at Brian while the professional photographer was taking the photos and Mandy was directing it. She already took all the photos of you with all of her new line of swimsuits for women. You looked at Brian and you giggled softly. He seemed to be so uncomfortable and nervous, and it was cute. You couldn't understand why he would feel embarrassed if he actually had a really good toned and muscular body; he was really sexy.

_**"Brian, can you please stop making those faces? Come on, you look good like that!"**_ Mandy yelled when Brian frowned.

_**"I look ridiculous!"**_ He yelled still frowning.

_**"Of course not! You're sex on a stick!"**_ You yelled while giggling.

_**"Well done, sister! Now he's blushing!"**_ Mandy reproached you and you shrugged and laughed louder. _**"Come on, Brian!"**_

You sat on a deck chair and grabbed your bottle of water while still looking at Brian. Now you started thinking about the talk you finally had with your sister. You finally told her that you met Darren again and you told her all that happened, absolutely everything, since you met again. She didn't seem so happy for this, but she said she was thankful because you told her everything. Mandy didn't want you to see him again because she didn't want to see you hurt again, and she tried to convince you to find another guy. Anyway, you told her to not interfere in your decisions; this was only something between him and you; she could tell you advices and all, but she should respect your decisions because you were old enough already. Of course she didn't like it so much, but she accepted it. She only told you to be careful because she didn't believe in Darren and his version of why he disappeared either. Brian was there when you told her everything, but he didn't comment anything; he only said that he respected and supported all you decided to do and that he was going to take care of you when Mandy asked what he thought about it. Anywise, you told Mandy that you didn't want to talk about it anymore because you wanted to enjoy your days here in the Virgin Islands. It was such a fantastic and paradisiac place, the beaches were simply amazing and beautiful, the weather was warm and nice; the people were kind, spirited, cheery and lively; the citrus fruits were delicious, the reggae music was amazing and funny, the local arts was outstanding. You just loved the Caribbean atmosphere; it made you feel very cheerful and happy.

_**"Alright, alright, so good!"**_ Mandy yelled at Brian. _**"You can come back and rest a little, you were amazing!"**_

Brian nodded and started walking towards you, surely to sit and drink some water. You looked at him very intently while he was walking. Wow, he was really handsome and more with his wet body and his slight tan. Then he finally sat on the deck chair next to you and grabbed his bottle of water to drink it. Meanwhile, you were still staring at him. His green eyes looked beautiful and bright in the sunlight, and his hair wet while drops were falling down his face made him look appealing. He finally looked at you with his very amazing green eyes and frowned slightly.

_**"What?"**_ He asked while licking his lips because he spilled a bit of water. You only smiled at him.

_**"Nothing, I was just admiring your beauty."**_ You replied still smiling and he looked away, blushing. You couldn't help chuckling. _**"It's so cute when you blush." **_

_**"Oh, stop it. You know I don't like when you say things like that." **_He said uncomfortable, still looking away and now taking another sip of his water, hence why your gaze shifted to his mouth.

_**"Yes, and you know that I don't understand why you don't like when I tell you that you're handsome and cute. You really are, Bri, and you shouldn't feel ashamed of it."**_ You replied, still staring his mouth while he was licking it again. _**"I'm sorry; do you know how to drink water?"**_ You asked while chuckling.

_**"What? Why are you asking that?"**_ He looked at you frowning.

_**"It's just... Every time you drink water, you spill it so you lick your mouth. It's... funny."**_ You said still chuckling; actually you wanted to say sexy, but he wouldn't like to hear that again.

_**"Oh, are you making fun of me?"**_ He asked amused and then he bit his lips to hold back his laughter, so, inevitably, your gaze shifted to his mouth again. What was wrong with you? Fortunately, Mandy saved you.

_**"Guys, now I need you both to go there again. We need to take some shoots of you together."**_ Mandy said.

_**"Okay!"**_ You said quickly standing up.

You walked to the shore and you first soaked your feet. The water was really warm and pleasant and it was really crystalline; it was beautiful. Brian walked behind you and he finally reached you with a slight smile.

_**"Okay, go deeper! Sister, until the water covers your knees."**_ Mandy yelled and Brian and you walked deeper. _**"Okay, now Brian, stand behind her. I want you both to look at this direction."**_ Mandy yelled again and Brian did so. _**"Alright now, Brian, place both of your hands on her waist."**_ Mandy demanded.

Brian, shyly, placed his hands on your waist. You chuckled softly because you couldn't believe that after all the time you spent together as best friends, he was still ashamed or nervous when it came to touch you. You couldn't understand why, though, because you were constantly hugging him.

_**"And you sister, I want you to place your right hand on Brian's arm and your left hand on the nape of his neck."**_ Mandy demanded again and you did so. _**"Cool, now, Brian, move your head closer to her; and I want you two to stare into each other's eyes." **_Mandy said and Brian did so a bit uncomfortable. When he looked into your eyes you smiled amused because he seemed to be really uncomfortable. _**"No, not like that! Brian, rest your forehead on hers. And you sister, open your mouth slightly. I want a sexy impression." **_Mandy yelled.

Brian looked at Mandy serious and huffed; but he did it. He rested his forehead on yours while still looking into your eyes. You giggled softly again.

_**"What is so funny, may I ask?"**_ Brian asked frowning.

_**"Nothing, it's just I don't know why you seem to be so uncomfortable. This is just a photo-shoot, Bri. Just relax."**_ You said smiling amused.

_**"Well, unlike you, this is new for me. I don't like this."**_ Brian answered frowning and sighing.

_**"Umm... Well then, just imagine that you're alone here with a sexy lady... Hmm, maybe you could picture that I'm Angelina Jolie; that way you'll act naturally."**_ You said laughing softly and Brian giggled softly, shaking his head.

_**"Well, you're not Angelina Jolie."**_ He said raising an eyebrow, looking into your eyes.

_**"I know! I wish I could be like her... But just picture it!" **_You exclaimed.

_**"That's silly, that you want to be like her."**_ Brian said still looking into your eyes.

_**"What? Don't you like her? Do you like any other type of girls?"**_ You asked curiously.

_**"No, yeah, I like her... It's just that you... Just leave it there." **_Brian said sighing and he looked away.

_**"Brian! Look into her eyes! And stop talking for a little! It's gonna get dark and we need to finish this, guys!"**_ Mandy suddenly yelled.

So Brian looked into your eyes again and you smiled faintly at him before you opened your mouth slightly as Mandy demanded. She wanted a sexy photo, so you tried to do your best to make it like that. You knew Brian wouldn't do anything because he was uncomfortable, so you had to help him. You pressed your hand on the nape of his neck and you pulled his face even closer to yours. Brian looked at you disconcerted and nervously, but he didn't stop you. With the hand you had on his arm, you made him place his hands more firmly on your waist, and then you placed that hand on his right hand and intertwined your fingers with his. He was still looking into your eyes nervously. You lifted your head to be even closer to him and you touched his nose slightly, as your lips were now very close. You looked at his mouth, he was biting his lower lip; and then you looked into his eyes as Mandy wanted. Brian was really uncomfortable.

_**"It'll take just a few seconds, don't be nervous. And open your mouth as Mandy wanted or she'll get mad."**_ You whispered softly.

Brian nodded and gulped, still nervous; but he opened his mouth slightly and stared into your eyes with his bright green eyes. You heard the sound of the camera taking the photos already, and you tried not to move. Looking into his eyes like this was making you feel weird. Yes, you looked into his eyes several times but you were never so close to him, except for that time he kissed you. Damn, you remembered that kiss and now you felt nervous too. Maybe this was why he was nervous, because he also remembered that and how awkward that was. This is your work, you tried to remind all the time; this is only for work.

_**"Excellent, guys! That was great!"**_ Mandy yelled.

Brian quickly stepped away from you and looked away. You looked at him frowning and looked away as well. Why would he feel like that? Was that something you've done or said? Maybe he didn't like the comment of Angelina Jolie or something. Then Brian started walking to the shore, silently.

_**"Oh no, Brian! Stay right there. We need one more photo for the cover and then you'll be free!"**_ Mandy stopped him abruptly. _**"The photo for the cover must be an artistic one, so I want you both to go even deeper. Brian, until the water covers your shoulders." **_

_**"Sister, I can't go with him. You know I can't swim."**_ You yelled.

_**"Well yes, I know. Brian, you'll have to take her there and hold her, can you do that?"**_ Mandy yelled.

_**"Sure."**_ Brian replied, still looking away.

Brian walked to you again. You started walking separated until the water covered your shoulders; you stopped abruptly and you started feeling panic. You remembered the time you drowned when you were in that lake in Munising. It was an awful memory and you couldn't help feeling that it was going to happen to you again. You couldn't do this.

_**"Hey, are you okay?"**_ Brian asked concerned when he saw your panic face.

_**"No. I can't do this. I'm gonna drown."**_ You said still feeling very scared. Brian only walked to you and he placed his hands on your shoulders.

_**"You won't. I won't let you drown, Sunny."**_ He said reassuringly, but you were still scared.

_**"No, I can't do this. No."**_ You refused strongly, trying to walk to the shore again; but Brian pulled you to him softly.

_**"Hey, you need to stop being afraid of water. Nothing bad will happen. It's not like you're gonna go there alone, I'm going with you and I'll hold you. So don't be afraid."**_ He said reassuringly again. _**"Come on; wrap your arms around my neck and your legs around my waist. I'll take you there and I won't let you."**_

_**"Please, swear that you won't drop me."**_ You said with trembling voice.

_**"I swear, Sunny."**_ He replied softly with a friendly smile.

_**"Okay."**_ You said very low.

You wrapped your arms around Brian's neck and your legs around his waist while he took you firmly by your waist. You relaxed a bit because you knew that Brian was really strong and he wasn't going to drop you. It felt safer being in his arms than in Darren's arms, because Darren was really tiny and Brian was really muscular. He started walking slowly until the water covered his shoulders, there he stopped. Another thing that made you feel a bit safer was the fact that you could see the bottom because of the crystalline water.

_**"So, how do you feel?"**_ Brian asked and you looked up at him. He was smiling slightly and he was looking at you in a cute way that made you feel relaxed.

_**"Oddly enough, I feel good."**_ You replied honestly.

_**"I told you, there's nothing to be afraid of."**_ Brian said sweetly.

_**"Yeah, but still, don't you dare to let me."**_ You warned and he chuckled softly.

_**"Of course I won't."**_ He said still chuckling but you were too distracted looking at his green eyes. Somehow they looked brighter than ever. It was surely the sunlight.

_**"Guys!" **_Mandy yelled with a megaphone because you were far. Both of you looked at her. _**"I want you two to immerse in water, so your hair will be wet!" **_

_**"Oh geez, we really have to do that?"**_ You asked in disbelief, but only Brian could listen to you.

_**"You know she's very bossy and we have to do that or she'll kill us."**_ Brian said and you giggled softly. He was right. _**"Come on, I won't let you and it'll take only few seconds."**_

_**"Fine."**_ You said and you took a deep breath as Darren taught you.

Brian immersed in the water and he did it with you. As he said, it only took few seconds, because he quickly pulled you up. You wiped away the water drops of your eyelashes that prevented you to see and you looked at Brian. He was looking fixedly at you and you only smiled slightly, and then looked away. His gaze was really piercing and he wouldn't stop looking at you that way.

_**"Good! Sister, keep your arms wrapped around his neck. Brian, place one hand on the back of her head and tangle your fingers on her hair. Good." **_Mandy spoke with the megaphone once you both did what she said. _**"Brian, lean your head, move your face closer to her. Yes, that, I want you to touch slightly your noses. Good."**_ Mandy said while you were doing exactly what she was saying. _**"And now you both close your eyes and kiss."**_

_**"What?"**_ Brian yelled in disbelief, looking at Mandy frowning, completely breaking the pose. You also looked at Mandy in disbelief. _**"I'm not doing that, Amanda!"**_

_**"Come on, it's an artistic photo!"**_ Mandy spoke with the megaphone again. She seemed to be a bit irritated.

_**"This has nothing to do with the swimsuits you want to show! This has no sense!"**_ Brian yelled, he seemed to be upset.

_**"Brian, I'm the director here! This is for the cover and we need an artistic photo. So just do it!"**_ Mandy replied and she was indeed irritated.

_**"I won't do that!"**_ Brian yelled again, firmly. You looked at him and then you grabbed his chin to make him look at you.

_**"Hey, it's alright. We don't even have to kiss, it's just press our lips together."**_ You said softly and Brian looked intensely into your eyes; he was nervous.

_**"I don't wanna do that. This will be awkward for you and I don't want that."**_ Brian replied, now looking away.

_**"Brian, it's part of our work, it won't be awkward. It's fine for me, really."**_ You assured and you noticed he gulped and looked down. You grabbed his chin again and made him look at you. _**"Come on, just let's do it. It won't take so long." **_

_**"Okay..."**_ He whispered nervously.

You returned to the pose: he placed his hand on the back of your head and tangled his fingers in your hair, he leaned his head and your noses touched slightly. So you both closed your eyes but he didn't move, so you had to press your lips against his. He shivered when you did this and you could feel his heart beating fast against your body.

_**"Passion! The name of the new line is passion, so I need passion! Kiss each other in earnest! Come on, is just a kiss and you're best friends, it shouldn't be a big deal!"**_ Mandy spoke with the megaphone again. For some reason she was annoyed.

Maybe you weren't doing right your work. Brian was about to look at Mandy to start arguing again, but you stopped him. You were the one who started kissing him. You placed a hand on the nape of his neck and pulled him closer to you. He got strained when he realized what you were doing and his heart started beating even faster. Of course he didn't kiss you back because he was puzzled for what you were doing. But when you started running your fingers through his hair, he placed one hand on your cheek and the other one remained tangled on your hair, and he started kissing you back. His lips were wet because of the water, but were soft and warm. For some reason you started feeling a tingly in your stomach, it was weird to being kissing your best friend and he was surely feeling the same. Anyway, you kissed passionately as Mandy wanted for the photo. He was breathing heavily against your face and you started doing the same, more when he introduced his tongue in your mouth. You shouldn't be enjoying this kiss the way you were doing; you shouldn't be feeling like this, like you wanted to keep kissing him. Dammit, he was your best friend. You definitely shouldn't feel like this. But you convinced yourself that it was only because you haven't kissed anyone in a while. And Brian was a really good kisser.

_**"So damn perfect! We're done, guys!" **_Mandy exclaimed happily now.

Yet Brian and you kept kissing. You needed to stop because that was all that Mandy needed, but somehow you wanted to keep kissing him. It was just feeling so good, the way you were feeling. Damn, the last time you felt that tingly in your stomach was when Darren kissed you. Of course, no kiss could be compared to Darren's kisses, because Darren meant a lot to you; but Brian was even better than Ian.

_**"Okay, guys. You really can stop kissing now!" **_Mandy said.

Brian was the one who broke the kiss when he realized that actually you were carrying away and that shouldn't happen. He looked deeply into your eyes with his lips parted, it was a weird look and his big green eyes were mesmerizing for you. Wow, he was truly beautiful. He bit his lower lip and looked away, he was feeling nervous again.

_**"You're a good kisser, Brian." **_You whispered and you didn't even want to say it loud, but you couldn't help it. He felt even more nervous now.

_**"You too."**_ He whispered shyly, still looking away and you smiled slightly. _**"Okay, we... We should come back to the shore."**_

_**"Yes, we should."**_ You said with bated breath.

So Brian started walking with you still in his arms in silence, until you reached a part of the sea in which you could touch the bottom with no trouble. He left you there and you looked at him, but he was still looking away. He started walking alone to the shore and you followed him, wondering why he would act with you that way. Maybe he didn't like your comment that he was a good kisser, maybe he didn't like at all the way you kissed him after you said it was going to be only pressing lips together. But it wasn't your fault, Mandy was the one who asked for that; yeah, it was your fault that you kept kissing him after Mandy said it was over, but even you couldn't understand why you did it. Maybe you should apologize, but when you get the chance to be alone with him.

_**"Here guys, take a towel."**_ Mandy said handing you and Brian one towel for each one. _**"You were amazing. Definitely you two are my favorite models. Good job, guys!"**_ Mandy said cheerfully and you and Brian just smiled slightly.

* * *

It was the Labor Day, a Monday afternoon already and Freckles didn't call me back. I had no idea why she wouldn't do that if texted her already like thousand times that I only wanted to talk to apologize. So, if she wasn't going to take my calls or anything, I was going to look for her. So I decided to go to Meredith's room to talk to Freckles. I didn't want to go there before because Meredith was still kind of upset with me for what I did. But well, I really needed to go. When I knocked the door, Meredith opened the door and looked at me serious.

_**"Hi, Mere."**_ I greeted kindly.

_**"Hi, Darren."**_ She greeted and turned around to sit on the table.

But she left the door opened, so it meant that I was allowed to get in and I did so. I closed the door behind me and I stood there, feeling a bit uncomfortable. Meredith was apparently reading something, so she didn't look at me at any moment and she didn't say anything at all.

_**"Can I sit?"**_ I asked kind of shyly. She only nodded. I walked to the table and I sat in front of her. _**"What are you reading?"**_ I asked to try to start a conversation.

_**"Contemporary American Theatre & Drama**_." She answered, still reading.

_**"Oh, I read that already and I summarized the text. If you want I can lend it to you, so you won't have to read the whole thing."**_ I offered politely.

_**"No, I want to read the whole thing. Thank you, anyway."**_ She replied curtly and kept reading.

_**"Mere, I'm sorry."**_ I apologized and she finally looked at me; she was still serious.

_**"You shouldn't apologize to me; you should apologize to Freckles."**_ She answered, still looking at me.

_**"Yes, I know. That's why I came here. But anyway, I owe you an apology as well. That night I promised you that I was going to apologize to Freckles and I ended up arguing with her. I broke my promise, so yeah, I owe you an apology."**_ I answered softly.

_**"Okay, fine. I forgive you."**_ She answered curtly and I sighed.

_**"You really aren't forgiving me; you're just saying it to make me shut up. I know you, Mere**_." I said looking at her.

_**"Yes, you're right."**_ She admitted and I nodded. _**"I just don't understand why you acted like that with her. I told you she wasn't doing well, and you made her feel worse. She didn't deserve that. And to make things worse, you kissed her after you told her you hated her. Why did you do that, Darren?"**_ Meredith said it all abruptly. I just propped my forehead on my hand and I sighed.

_**"Because I was confused, and being confused made me feel angry and sad. Therefore, I said rude things I didn't mean. And I kissed her because I wanted to; because I thought I was really still in love with her; because she meant like a lot, really a lot, to me. And seeing her so mad, so sad, so beautiful; I felt I was losing her for real and I didn't want because all I wanted was to keep her close; so I kissed her. In the moment I kissed her, I knew I was wrong."**_ I answered honestly. _**"I was a mess, Mere. I was feeling lonely because I knew she didn't love me anymore; I was feeling mad because I couldn't do anything about it; I was feeling sad because she could move on and I was still stuck with my feelings for her; and I was feeling desperate because I sensed how she was moving away from me and I wanted her to move closer to me. And I had no better idea than kissing her. That's why I did it."**_ I answered looking down, biting my lower lip.

_**"Now I can really forgive you."**_ Meredith said, placing a hand above mine and smiling slightly.

_**"Thank you."**_ I said smiling faintly.

_**"Why don't you talk to her about this, in a peaceful way? She needs to know that and it'll also help you. Maybe if you talk to her, you will find a solution for what you're feeling and maybe the confusion will fade away." **_Meredith said softly.

_**"Yes, I want to talk to her. But I'm not confused anymore, now I know what I want. I found it out these two last days that I've been alone. I had time to think over, and I realized that I'm not love with her, I'm in love with the girl she used to be, as you all tried to tell me all this time; I finally realized it... for real, this time." **_I replied softly.

_**"Does it mean you don't feel anything for her now?"**_ She asked curiously.

_**"No, it doesn't mean that. I'll always have feelings for her because she was the most special person I've ever had; because she was my first real love. But I'm not in love with her anymore."**_ I answered sincerely and Meredith nodded.

_**"Hmm, I see. When Freckles told me your story, I thought you were so cute, and you look cute together. I must admit that deep inside me, I wanted you to get back together again. I guess it won't happen."**_ Meredith said and I looked at her with a slight smile.

_**"No, it won't. But is better this way, you know, to keep her as my best memory and not as a bad memory."**_ I said and Meredith nodded. _**"I decided that I'll finally move on, and just see what is out there expecting me to find, you know? You never know if there can be someone else; maybe I'll fall in love again with someone else, eventually. And I know she also will. And that's fine." **_

_**"I guess that's hard for you to say and do." **_Meredith said thoughtful, frowning slightly.

_**"Yeah, it is; it's really hard. But I know it's the best, both for her and for me."**_ I answered shrugging and still smiling slightly. _**"Yet, I wanna be her friend. There are still things I like about her; I think she's a cool person and it'd be sad if I just walk away and miss the chance of being friends with an amazing person."**_

_**"Are you sure that you can do that, Darren? Won't it make you feel confused again?"**_ She asked worried.

_**"Yes, Mere; I'm sure I can do that. Now I'm sure of which my feelings for her are and what I want. I won't get involved with her again. We had our moment and it was awesome; I wouldn't like to screw it up. Now I can see that; and now I feel fine, for real, for the first time since I grew apart from her."**_ I answered honestly. _**"So yeah, I feel different and it's a good feeling."**_

_**"I'm glad for that, Darren."**_ Meredith said smiling brightly and I smiled back at her. _**"Have you already tried to talk to her about this? So maybe you can clear things up."**_

_**"Yeah, I tried. I texted her like twenty times and I called her like... I don't know, like thirty times."**_ I answered raising an eyebrow and Meredith looked at me agape, raising her eyebrows with eyes wide open. _**"Yeah, sounds crazy; and I really did that. But she wouldn't answer me and she wouldn't call me back. That's why I'm here, but it seems she's not here right now."**_ I said looking away, sighing.

_**"That's because surely her phone is out of range. She's not here; she's in the Virgin Islands since Saturday."**_ Meredith answered and I looked at her surprised.

_**"What? Is she in the Virgin Islands? What the hell is she doing there? Whoa, she's lucky!"**_ I exclaimed still surprised. So that was the reason why she didn't take my calls. Well, I didn't feel so bad now.

_**"Yes, she's there for work."**_ Meredith replied.

_**"For work? Does she have a job? I didn't know that."**_ I said frowning, surprised and very intrigued now.

_**"Yes, she has one. But it's not a constant and daily job... She's a commercial print model and an art model; for her sister that has a clothing company."**_ Meredith answered.

_**"Whoa, wait! That's a bunch of new information!" **_I exclaimed puzzled. _**"Is Freckles a freaking model?" **_

_**"Well, yes, she is. I don't know why you're so surprised, though. Freckles has the perfect features to be a model."**_ Meredith said shrugging.

_**"Hell yeah, I agree. But it's really weird for me. I mean, I knew her... She wasn't the kind of girl who had the self-esteem to do something like that. She was very shy and she had a low self-esteem. So yeah, I'm really surprised; I'd have never imagined that she could ever be a model."**_ I said still very stunned. _**"Well, that explains lots of things..."**_ I said thoughtful, thinking about her obsession with healthy food, her sexy underwear, her totally toned body... Yeah. _**"And Mandy? Mandy has a clothing company? Really?" **_

_**"Mandy! Freckles told me her name but I couldn't remember!"**_ Meredith exclaimed. _**"Yeah, she has. Where do you think Freckles gets all of the awesome and exclusive clothes, shoes and bags she has? Her sister designs it all."**_

_**"Whoa! That's pretty cool. Mandy was always good for that stuff, but I didn't know she could get her own clothing company so soon." **_I said stunned.

_**"Yes, Freckles told me she got a really good reputation at college and one professor encouraged her to start her own company. It worked really well; she's kind of famous in L.A. now because of her extravagant and transgressors designs. Lots of people like it."**_ Meredith said smiling.

_**"Oh man, that's... crazy! I knew Mandy was going to be really good at it. I knew it; she was like the most popular girl at high school and she always had this especial sense of fashion."**_ I answered smiling because it was awesome to hear news like those. _**"Shit, man! There are like a lot of things I still don't know about Freckles... She doesn't cease to amaze me."**_

_**"Well, now you know a bit more."**_ Meredith said shrugging.

_**"Yeah..."**_ I whispered nodding. What else could I find about her? I was intrigued. She was definitely very different now. _**"So I guess I'll have to talk to her later. When is she coming back here?" **_

_**"Tomorrow. But she's not coming back here."**_ Meredith said and I looked at her very confused.

_**"What do you mean?" **_

_**"She's gonna move to his friend's room." **_

_**"With Brian?"**_ I asked intrigued and still confused.

_**"Yes, with Brian." **_

_**"Why? Did you guys have an argument or something?"**_ I asked curious.

_**"Oh no! Not at all. She's moving there because of two reasons. First off, she always had in mind to move with him, but she couldn't before because Brian already had a roommate. Then, there's the fact that Brian is having economic troubles and she will help him to afford the room. See? That is why she wasn't doing well lately, her friend Brian has really serious problems; he's going through a really shitty situation. That's why I took her to the Blind Pig with me, to distract her..."**_ Meredith said and I suddenly felt really guilty.

_**"Brian is having troubles? What kind of troubles?"**_ I asked very intrigued.

_**"I don't think I should tell you that, Darren. I'm sorry, but if there's one person that can tell you that is either Freckles or Brian."**_ Meredith answered quietly.

_**"Oh yeah, I get it."**_ I said nodding, but I was still very intrigued to know what could have happened. _**"Is there any chance I can see her before she moves out?" **_

_**"Yes, maybe... She still needs to come here and pack all of her stuff."**_ Meredith replied.

_**"Good, then I'll come back tomorrow."**_ I said.

Yes, I was feeling good with the decision I made. I only wanted Freckles to forgive me, so maybe that way I was going to be able to start something new, this time with someone else. Maybe there was going to be another girl for me, just as Freckles was in that time; and maybe, someday, I could be best friends with her. Yeah, I'd love that.

* * *

It was already night and you just took a super relaxing bubble bath for the last time in the Virgin Islands. Now your body smelled of soap and your hair smelled like coconut; you loved that. You took like more than half-hour in the bubble bath because you were very thoughtful. You wouldn't stop thinking about the kiss with Brian and the way you felt; and you tried to find a logical explanation for that. You came to the conclusion that you felt like that because of the simple fact that you were feeling lonely and Brian was your best friend, so it wasn't like kissing a stranger; you had feelings for Brian, feelings of deep love but only as a friend; so maybe that made you feel confused. When you thought about the kiss, you couldn't help thinking about Darren; you started to think and remember how his kisses were. No one ever kissed you like him, not even Ian, not even any other random guy you met last year. And Brian's kiss made you remember it; that was insane. Yes, definitely it must have been because there were feelings involved; but you had feelings for Ian, yet he never made you feel that way whenever he kissed you. Damn, you really needed to stop thinking about it. Brian was your best friend and you were feeling lonely, so for that you felt that way when you kissed each other. You finished dressing up and you decided to walk to the living room to talk to Brian. You were about to get in, but something stopped you abruptly. Mandy and Brian were talking, apparently about you. So you did something you shouldn't have done. You stayed standing there, hiding, and trying to listen to the conversation.

_**"Ugh, Brian."**_ Mandy exclaimed as though she was irritated.

_**"Do not say that, do not say 'ugh, Brian'; because you know I'm right. It was completely inappropriate and unnecessary."**_ Brian said severely. He seemed to be upset. _**"You made us kiss on purpose, Mandy! You did it on purpose!"**_

_**"Oh come on! Tell me, why would I do that on purpose, eh?"**_ Mandy asked annoyed.

_**"You know exactly why!"**_ Brian yelled angrily, but also exasperated and distressed. You only frowned because you couldn't understand what was happening and what they were talking about.

_**"Well, yes, I know why. But do you know why I did that? Because you need to stop being insecure! You need to say that for once and all, Brian! You need to understand that keeping it inside you is not good for you."**_ Mandy exclaimed kind of concerned and anguished.

_**"No, Amanda. You are the one who needs to understand that I won't say it ever and you must respect my decisions. So stop doing those things, because it's not right!"**_ Brian said almost in a supplicant way.

_**"What you're doing is not right, Brian!"**_ Mandy exclaimed really loudly.

_**"Sorry, but I think I'm doing the right thing. And I am fine this way. You cannot force something that will never happen; I know it'll never happen and you also know it'll never happen! And we're good just the way we are right now!"**_ Brian exclaimed loudly and his voice cracked a little. Seriously, what were they talking about? This had no sense for you; there was something you didn't know.

_**"You're not good the way you are right now; because somehow you're lying to her! And of course nothing will ever happen if you don't tell my sister that..."**_ Mandy started saying and you tried to sharpen your ear to hear clearly, but Brian interrupted her; so you couldn't know it.

Tell you what? Was Brian lying to you? About what? Why would he lie to you, anyway? You never lied to him, and knowing that your best friend was lying to you was hurtful. And what was that thing that will never happen? They were sharing a secret and you didn't know it; you thought you knew everything about your best friend and it wasn't like that. You were feeling kinda disappointed.

_**"Shut up, Amanda!"**_ Brian said almost yelling. _**"I'm not lying to your sister. I'm just hiding that part because I know this is the best for the two of us. And yes, I may be feeling bad, really bad. But I'd rather to deal with this distress only by myself than making her feel distressed as well. I only want to see her happy, not to see her sad." **_Brian said and his voice cracked again, as though he was anguished. Why would he make you feel distressed? What was he talking about? Geez, you needed answers.

_**"But Brian, you need to tell her that hearing her talking about Darren all the time is hurting you; you should tell her to stop talking about him with you. The same happened with Ian, for god's sake. And you even keep advising her. That's not good."**_ Mandy said kind of upset and still kind of anguished.

So Brian didn't like you to talk to him about Darren or Ian? Really? You didn't notice that. He should've told you. Now you were feeling a bit mad at Brian because he didn't tell you that; but you were also feeling guilty because you were literally talking about Darren all the time and you never realized this was like annoying or something to Brian. It was just that you couldn't talk about this with anyone else.

_**"I won't tell her that, Mandy. It doesn't hurt me to hear her telling me things about Darren or telling me things about how she's feeling. I love when she does that; I love to hear that she's being happy and I love giving her advices when she needs them. You'll never understand that only that is what matters to me, will you?"**_ Brian said softly and you felt a bit better. Brian was truly a good friend, always so caring and sweet.

_**"But you love my sister, Brian."**_ Mandy said distressed and you frowned slightly.

_**"Of course I do; she's my best friend."**_ Brian replied and you smiled faintly. It was nice for you to know that you were his best friend just as he was your best friend.

_**"I didn't mean it that way and you know it." **_Mandy said kinda frustrated, sighing. _**"Brian, you should tell her that you are..." **_Mandy started saying and you sharpened your ear again.

_**"Stop it, Amanda."**_ Brian interrupted Mandy and you huffed frustrated; you really wanted to know what all of this was about. _**"I made this decision a long time ago and I strongly believe that is the best thing to do. So stop insisting. Please."**_

Enough, you really needed to know what was going on and what they were talking about, because you certainly couldn't understand anything. You were sure they had a secret that you didn't know and that secret involved you; so you needed to know because this all was very suspicious. This was very confusing and you hated that. So you finally entered the living room and saw them standing in front of each other.

_**"What is that thing you have to tell me, Brian?"**_ You asked suspiciously, looking at him.

Mandy looked at you agape and then she looked away, nervously. Brian looked at you disturbed and frightened, with eyes wide open and mouth-opened; he was very edgy. This was even more suspicious.


	43. Let's have an honest talk

A/N: Hello everybody! How are you doing today? For me this was a strenuous and complicated week, so I'm glad it's weekend already! I hope you have exciting plans ahead for this weekend! Alright, now back to the story. I read the reviews and I'll talk about the generalities I found. So, first off, I want to clarify something about this whole thing Brian-Freckles-Darren... The fanfiction is about Darren/you and it involves romance, drama (duh), friendship and comings and goings; so that's all I'm gonna say because I won't give away any kind of spoiler. Freckles and Darren can end up being either lovers or friends; this fanfiction is gonna be a very long one and a lot of things will happen. I want to show many things about life itself, different sides, different perspectives and situations in a relationship and different interactions with other people as they grow up. So, don't be so worried and well, nothing... Just that! I hope not to disappoint you with what I write, I hope you can enjoy the story despite the plot twists, and thank you for letting me know your point of views about everything! Now that I explained that little something, wishing I clarified things instead of making them more confusing, I'll start replying your reviews.

alicegursk: I'm a sad panda because of two things: 1) Why oh why I will never be able to understand fangirl language? I'm a fan! I truly am, I'm Darren's fan, doesn't it count at all? dksnwniwnndn? No? Not at all? Sad panda, completely sad panda. 2) I can't believe the couch is now my place! At least we should consider changing the couch to a more comfortable one. And blankets, don't forget to bring blankets. Maybe after this chapter, would you consider my wishes? Now that you know why I'm a sad panda... Could Darren and Freckles make it to be together again or at least to be best friends? You'll soon find it out. Maybe you'll find it out in this precise chapter. Brian loves Freckles? Yes, of course yes, she's his best friend. Mwahaha. Sorry, was that a cruel laughter? Thanks for saying I'm good despite how cruel I can be sometimes. But…I'm nice, Alice, I swear I'm nice! Consider my wishes, please?

amritsoomal: Am I in time to run away and hide? Please, don't yell at me! Don't yell at me! (bend my legs, wrap my arms around my legs and start swaying, shocked and scared) haha. I'm in a silly mood today, just so you know! What do you think I'm doing? Brian and Freckles, no? No? Okay! It'll take time, though, to know how their relationship is gonna develop. But no, you said. No it is. Ah! Darren and Freckles will be happy together, of course. As friends or as lovers? Or both? I don't know! Can I get virtual treats now, please? I'm dying for a hot chocolate with marshmallows, I don't even know why! Ouch! The hook up is gonna be revealed in the Christmas chapter, for that a long of time will pass. But just because sometimes I'm nice, I'll give you a clue: I mentioned this girl already in the story... Then here are the options: Freckles, Karen, Alice, Claire, Grace, Linda, Melissa, Holly, Tania, Alexandra, Susan, Jen, Mandy, Kelly, Julia, Lauren, Meredith, Jaime, Bonnie, Elona, Britney. These are the girls I've ever mentioned in the story; any of them could be Joey's hook up. Yay for your music exam! Congratulations! Hey, but don't be too stressed about the other exams! Just believe they're gonna go just as good as the music one!

PotterHead62: Oh, it's really nice to know you've been following this story for a while! And I'm glad you liked the last chapter despite it was kind of... unusual? Ah, I can't find the word; despite in it happened things that maybe weren't so pleasant to read. I liked writing the part of the list! It was like a way to show Darren struggling with his own feelings to come up with a solution to his problems. And yes, I agree with the fact that Brian isn't telling his feelings is sweet and sad. Maybe it's sad rather than sweet. Maybe he will admit his feelings or maybe not. But eventually you'll find out why Brian has problems to tell his feelings. Eventually. Thanks for telling me your opinion!

Vcriss: You loved The Vow! Me too, it's such a great movie, more considering it was based on a true story. I agree, Channing is very dreamy; and I also love Darren way more, maybe because of his personality and well, his whole presence; he has something that makes him very attractive, maybe even more attractive than hot guys as Channing who is better-looking than him. It's not right and it's not wrong the fact that you can go for either couple; it's your opinion and it's valid. There's not a right and wrong opinion on this, that's what I mean. And yes, it's a Darren fanfiction, but a lot of things can happen and will happen. It involves romance, drama, friendship, and more drama. About the Klaine marriage, I don't think it'll happen any soon. I mean, they're very young and I don't think it's illegal, but I completely share Burt's opinion that marrying a person is something very different than marrying an idea. In my opinion, they still need to experience and learn a lot of things before assuming such a responsibility and vows that marriage involves. And I can't opine about politics, because I don't live there, so I'm ignorant and it's not cool to opine about something you are clueless. I also watch it because of the songs and Glee, even though there are songs I dislike; but one amazing episode was Shooting Star, it was amazing. Modern Family! I love that show too! It's hilarious! I like The Big Bang Theory too. And others like Lost, even if it's finished.

MeMi83: haha sneaky Mandy! Only she could have done such a thing! I like that character someway. Yes! She was so close to finding out! Now it's time to find out if Brian will or will not explain her everything. And about Darren... About time! He needed to do something for himself. Maybe his attitude won't last as you said, because, as you said, to change all of a sudden is not an easy task. But maybe some events and people would help him to do what he proposed to do. About twitter, I wish that the reasons of why I'm not able to tweet were because I have more exciting things to do! Actually it's because college and being on my final thesis is pretty strenuous and demands me so much time (since 7am till 10pm every week including weekends, in average) that all I want to do is to get some sleep! haha. But yes, at least I'm doing something I love; despite sometimes you want free time to just chill out. But it's an effort I have to make till February, and then my life will change with my degree! Ah, so nervous about it! haha. So, I'm taking the ball of energy you sent me! I need it so thank you a lot! I wish you a fairy tale totally awesome weekend! And to make it even more awesome, I send you a magic carpet, a monkey called Abu, and a magic lamp containing a genie who will grant you three wishes!

Guest: I've been damned! What will happen to me now? I think I'll have to reverse it with a sweet (maybe?) chapter like this one. Would it work? For now, I think my motto is 'Cliffhanger, cliffhanger, cliffhanger'. What a lame motto! I wonder why I cannot come up with something more interesting and deep. Aww! You should've sung it to him! What you said was cute! I love that song! Of course it's my favorite Darren's song. You'll get for sure a lot of romantic cheesy stuff in the future! Also drama, but romantic cheesy events, words, hugs, songs and a lot of more things! And I want to let you know that you made me smile with your comment that my story is somehow addictive and every week I keep you interested! It's really but really nice to know that! The Brian storyline will develop in a lot of chapters. And oh gosh, you made laugh with the comment of civilized talk! Yes, haha, Darren and Freckles will have a civilized (oh, about time, guys!) talk and they may or may not become friends. You'll figure it out in this chapter! Obviously, they cannot get together right now, but who knows if they'll fall in love again, eventually?

zahra auob: Hi Zahra! I'm very glad that the list was useful to you! Now, I'll answer you (by the way, it made me feel good the fact you asked me my opinion about something that is happening to you!). All I'll say now, it's just a personal opinion, it's like an advice, and advices sometimes are good, sometimes not; so you can take it or leave it and either option will be fine. It's just my point of view of something that happened to me and, of course, you don't have to take to heart what I say, but I hope it can help you to find out what the right thing to do is for you, in your situation. Throughout our lives we meet people, we become friends and sometimes we keep being friends but sometimes those amazing friends we used to have in the past aren't our friends any longer in the present, they become like a memory, a good one. Truth is that from time to time we remember those friends and wonder why we grew apart if we were best friends, if we shared a lot of moments and secrets; in those moments you want to get closer to them, even if you know they're different and you're different, even if you know that maybe they're not worth it to keep being our friends because something that before fitted now it doesn't fit anymore because it feels weird, uncomfortable and forced; because you both changed. That's why we still care about them, because they were important to us, they were part of our lives and somehow they made us be a little part of what we are now. You'll never stop having feelings for that person, you'll never stop wishing the best to that person, just because of the fact they were a special part in our lives, even if now it's different and they don't deal with us as a friend. I had a friend when I was 13 and when I was 15 we grew apart; I thought it wasn't worth it to keep her as a friend because we changed a lot and we didn't share anything, we were interested on different stuff and we just were different, and that was making both of us feel uncomfortable around each other, that was hurting both of us; I don't even know why, how and when we grew apart, but we did; and she was like my best friend. Now I'm 22 and she's my best friend again because we admitted the fact we were never going to be as we used to be and we were never going to have the friendship we used to have; but we were still on time to get to know again that person we used to know and who was very important to us. We never got to have the friendship we used to have, but we got to have a different friendship, not better, not worse, but different; she's my best friend. Do you know how we started to talk again? When I needed an advice and she gave me one, even if we weren't even friends by then, even if I didn't ask her for that advice, even if by then we only knew about each other what we used to be. You're always in time to get to know again the person you used to know and I can say that it's an amazing feeling, very gratifying. And an advice is never a wrong thing to do; you can give and receive advices even from a stranger and it'll never be a bad thing, or it should never be a bad thing, we should not be ashamed of giving an advice to someone, because it's something nice and good, in my opinion. And worrying and caring about a person is not a bad thing; it only means that you're a good person and you want the best to other person, regardless if that person is a friend, someone of your family, someone you used to know, a fellow or a stranger. You should never stop caring about someone because it makes you human, a good kind of human; and people should be more caring with everybody; caring about someone, in my opinion, should never be seen as something improper. So, I advise you (not force you) to talk to her, to admit you will never have what you used to have, to admit that both you and her have changed, to advise her even if she's someone you used to know and you're to her someone she used to know. Who knows? Maybe you can end up being friends with that friend you used to have. I hope my advice helped you someway.

Emma: Hey Emma! Oh, I'm so glad you consider the last chapter as one of your favorites in the new part! haha yes, Darren took a long time to decide to move on, but he finally decided it! He finally realized what he really wanted, and I guess that's a huge progress for him. Oh, maybe he will meet someone new and maybe Freckles will feel jealous, yes. But what kind of relationship would Darren have with that someone? You really wouldn't like Darren and Freckles as a couple again? Why? I'm intrigued to know! You're the first person to tell me that; everybody wants them together again, but you don't, so I find it pretty interesting! Why I named Freckles Freckles? That's a question nobody has asked me before so here I am, trying to remember what led me to name her like that. First I'll say I was surely influenced, in an implicit way, by Lost, Sawyer (one of my favorite characters) called Kate Freckles and I always thought it was cute. Then, I was inspired by a picture I saw in which I could notice few freckles on Darren's face, I thought it'd be cute if there was a girl with freckles and Darren commented about it (I wrote something about it in the second chapter). Then, I think freckles are cute and I like them, so I always pictured the main character with freckles and since I don't want to call the main character with a real name so it can always be 'you' (it's something pretty hard to do), I thought that Darren could call her Freckles because that is something particular about the main character. Freckles had long hair in high school! Maybe you're Freckles and I'm writing your story! This is what is gonna happen to you in the future! Yes, maybe it's scary, but it's something really cool! I mean, somehow you look like her, so it's great because you can picture yourself with Darren! Okay, I think I should stop writing or you'll think I'm insane or something. Yes, I'm completely serious! 100 chapters! Or at least that is the idea. That means 58 more weeks, 58 more reviews from you! I challenge you to do it! haha. I'm just kidding. Now, I hope you can enjoy this new chapter, Emma!

Vicky: Aww, I find it cute the way Brian reminds you to yourself, because I picture Brian like one of the most charming and warm-hearted people in the (fictional) world. If you tell me right now that you like writing, and you like surprising and doing very sweet things for the people you love, then I'm done and I'll name you like the female version of Brian. Yes, I thought it was time for Darren to move on and make a very hard but necessary decision. Now it's time to see if he can get what he recently found he wants. Hopefully things will work out for him, he deserves it, I think. Brian and Freckles... maybe if you read what I wrote in the introduction, you'll understand. I won't say what will happen with them; things will happen, but you shouldn't be so worried about it. Sometimes in life, when someone loves a person, the other person doesn't love them the way they do, sometimes is a feeling that only one of them feel, and maybe this is what happens in this case, the thing is to see what will happen with their friendship; actually you should be worrying about their friendship more than worrying if they will be together or not. Alright, sorry, I don't want to spoil anything, so I won't say anything else!

Nicole: First off, I want to let you know that you're honored to be the 400th review! For the second time you get the award! So again, you're free to ask me whatever you want to know and I'll answer! I wonder what you'd ask this time! Now, Nicole-Draco, about the story! Oh yeah, Freckles is so close to figuring out! Will she finally figure it out? You'll find it out in this chapter! And yes, ah, sneaky Mandy! haha. It's something that she obviously was going to do, I like that character! Always getting and doing what she wants! If I were friends with Mandy, I bet it'd be hard to deal with her, because she'd surely make me feel awkward over awkward things, but it's funny. Don't worry because I ship Darren and Freckles too. If you read my introduction, you'll have a slight idea. I won't say that nothing will happen between Freckles and Brian, something, good or bad, will happen with them; but remember this is a Darren/you fanfic. I like writing the part of the list! Darren really needed to do something about himself and his feelings, he really needed to move on, so I guess that's a good thing. Oh! No, Freckles hasn't seen her phone, she's in the Virgin Islands and she can't receive calls or texts there, but as soon as she returns, she'll see it all. What will happen after that? As a good Hufflepuff, I found what I am good for, and I found out that Hufflepuffs are particularly good finders. Do you find it cool? I found out the significance of my existence. Find, find, find, I gotta find my way back to Hogwarts! So, my Draco-Nicole, until next time!

Roula: First off, I think this is the first time you reviewed! So let me welcome you to my very crazy mind! You're in time to run away and hide from my insanity! Okay, no, I'm a sane person, trust me. Now, really, thank you a lot for reading this story and I hope you're enjoying it as I well hope to never disappoint you! Now, thank you a lot for saying it was a good chapter! Yay! I'm happy too that Mandy returned, but unfortunately she won't appear much, but she'll keep appearing from time to time; I like her character. I think that Julia and Joey this time came up with an original idea to help Darren to clear up what he was feeling. I think this was a huge progress for him and it's really good the fact that he has already found out what he really wants, so now he can move on and maybe he'll have a civilized talk to Freckles and maybe they can become friends. Do you really think Freckles is starting to have feelings for Brian? That's very interesting, maybe yes or maybe not! But you have an interesting point of view. Ah! Your question is very good! Well, as I see it, it's really hard to be friends with your ex-boyfriend because you have, inevitably, a lot of memories together that you'll always remember and more if you're with him. But nothing is impossible. There are a lot of cases in which couples broke up and became friends and even best friends; maybe it's not easy but it's possible. I don't know if this will be Freckles and Darren's case, they'll figure it out with time; because they can agree being something but there's something you cannot control that is what your heart and soul feel, as cheesy as it may sound, but it's like that. So you and they will figure it out with time!

Caroline Boeira: haha don't worry about it! In the introduction I tried to clarify this thing about Freckles, Brian, and Darren. You just have to think that sometimes in life one person is in love with a person who doesn't love him/her the way he/she does. Maybe this is the case. Do you really think Darren will go back to Kelly after the way she treated him? Mmm, I don't know! But Kelly will appear again and maybe Darren will meet someone new who is not a bitch like Kelly, but that someone may or may not be only a friend. Anyway, now you'll find out in this chapter what will happen between Freckles and Darren. So maybe you won't be so confused! I hope you can enjoy this chapter, I think it has its sweet side!

-Alright guys! That was all for today! I hope you enjoy this chapter and I hope to have clarified everything. And one last thing... I can't believe I reached the 400 reviews! You guys totally rock! Thank you a lot for that! When I started writing this story, I never imagined I could ever get the amount of reviews I got! Thank you, really, you have no idea what it means to me and it's not about a number, it's about learning from you; because with your reviews you not only gave me your opinions and suggestions that helped me to improve; but you also inspired me to keep writing and I just love having this kind of weekly conversation with each one of you. Thank you! Now I'll let you read this new chapter. I wish you a week full of magical creatures and fluffy puppies like the one Darren was holding the other day. Warm fuzzies and love!

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**Teenage Dream – Chapter 43 – Let's have an honest talk.**

* * *

_**"I'll just leave you alone, guys."**_ Mandy said in a whisper, a bit nervous, looking away.

Before she left, she looked at Brian in an apologetically way. But you were only looking fixedly at Brian, who was now looking down and biting his lips. He was very nervous and he wasn't saying anything at all.

_**"Brian?"**_ You said serious. He made a weird grimace with his mouth, clenched his jaw and bit his lips again; still looking down. _**"What is that thing you have to tell me?"**_ You repeated and he took a deep breath.

_**"Nothing, it was just a silly thing..."**_ He answered still looking down and scratching his head.

_**"Do not lie to me because it hurts."**_ You said frowning, also looking down.

You were now feeling touchy after hearing the conversation between him and Mandy and how Mandy was telling him he was lying to you. You heard how Brian sighed so you looked at him again. He was still looking down and he was frowning now; besides being nervous he seemed to be distressed now.

_**"I don't want that."**_ Brian said sadly, still looking down.

_**"Then tell me the truth. What were you talking about with Mandy? What was that thing of the kiss she has done on purpose? What is that thing that will never happen? Why did Mandy say that you're lying to me? What is that thing you have to tell me?" **_You asked really confused and Brian was still looking down, distressed and nervous. Yet, he didn't answer. _**"Tell me the truth, Brian."**_ You insisted exasperated and Brian rubbed his hand on his face, now looking at the ceiling and gulping. Then he looked down again and he sighed.

_**"It's nothing really important... Just forget it; it's something boring and useless."**_ Brian said raising an eyebrow still looking down. You looked at him afflicted for a while, silently. You couldn't believe he was still lying to you, it was hurtful.

_**"Why don't you trust me?"**_ You asked anguished. Brian finally looked at you, stunned and mouthed-open.

_**"I do trust you."**_ He said still looking at you, frowning slightly.

_**"It doesn't seem like that."**_ You said raising an eyebrow and pursing your lips, now looking down. _**"You're my best friend, Brian; and sometimes I feel like I barely know you. Sometimes I feel like I don't know you at all."**_ You said and looked up at him. He was still frowning and looking at you distressed.

_**"Why are you saying that?"**_ Brian asked and his voice cracked a bit, so he cleared his throat. You looked at him again; he seemed to be hurt.

_**"Because I'm being honest with you. It's what I feel."**_ You replied and he gulped and looked down with his eyebrows pointing downward, which created a sad expression. _**"I'm always telling you things about me; I tell you everything, Brian. And you never tell me anything at all. I almost had to beg you to get you to tell me what happened with your dad; and if I hadn't begged you, surely I wouldn't have known it yet. How do you expect me to feel? It hurts, Brian. Because I thought you were my best friend, but how can you be my best friend if I don't know almost anything about you?"**_ You asked frustrated while Brian was biting his lower lip, still with that sad expression. _**"And I'm sorry if my words are hurting you, but I want to be honest with you. And I wish you could be honest with me and I wish you could trust on me, as best friends are supposed to be. But you keep hiding me things, you keep ignoring my questions when I ask you something personal and private. Damn, that hurts me a lot!" **_

_**"I'm sorry."**_ He said with choked voice, now looking at you with his teary green and sad eyes.

_**"I don't want you to be sorry, I don't want an apology. I want you to start trusting me as I trust you. I want you to tell me everything about you as I tell you everything about me."**_ You said exasperated looking into his eyes. He sighed, gulped, raised his forearms and put them down again.

_**"Alright."**_ Brian replied and he walked to the couch to sit while you were looking at him fixedly. _**"Come on, sit."**_ He said and you walked slowly and silently to the couch to sit next to him. _**"Ask me whatever you want to know about me; I'll answer." **_

_**"It's not like that..." **_You started saying raising an eyebrow and looking away.

_**"Come on, Sunny. I'm willing to give you honest answers. So ask me."**_ He insisted.

_**"I don't..."**_

_**"Come on, ask me whatever you want to know and I'll answer everything. Ask me, because I don't wanna hear you saying I don't trust you." **_Brian said firmly.

_**"What? Are you doing this because you're mad for what I said?" **_You asked frowning and a bit disgruntled.

_**"No, I'm doing this because what you said made me feel bad."**_ Brian said almost in a whisper, looking downward; then he bit his lips. _**"So I want you to ask me whatever you want so you'll know everything about me; I want you to see that I really trust you. Come on, Sunny, just ask..."**_ He said softly.

_**"Okay..."**_ You said nodding and raising an eyebrow. _**"First off, I want to know why you suspect that Mandy made us kiss on purpose."**_ You said looking at him fixedly. He took a time to answer; he was resting his elbows on his knees with his hands together and fingers intertwined, looking down.

_**"Because she wanted me to kiss someone since it's been a while since the last time I did so. And I was mad because she had no rights to do it, and less with you, my best friend."**_ He answered, still looking down while you were looking at him fixedly. His answer had sense and sounded convincing.

_**"Okay, then what's that thing that will never happen in your opinion?"**_ You asked. Again, he took a time to answer. This seemed to be something hard for him.

_**"Umm... Your sister thinks... that I need to find someone. Well, she... thought that because I'm alone, maybe... Maybe I should try with you."**_ Brian answered very uncomfortable. He seemed to be choosing carefully each word. _**"And I told her that you were my best friend and that we were fine that way; so it'll never happen."**_

_**"Amanda told you that?"**_ You asked in disbelief.

_**"Yeah well, something like that."**_ He answered still uncomfortable.

_**"Oh my god. I'm sorry for that; she surely said it also because she doesn't want to see me with Darren and she cannot understand that it won't happen. Sorry."**_ You said bitterly.

_**"You shouldn't be sorry, you did nothing at all."**_ Brian said softly.

_**"Yeah, I'll talk to Amanda about this."**_ You said determined.

_**"No!"**_ He exclaimed loudly and alarmed and you looked at him suspiciously. _**"Please, do not do that. I'm the one who's gonna talk to her."**_

_**"Fine, if that is what you want."**_ You replied and he nodded. _**"Okay, now tell me what is that thing you should tell me, judging by what Mandy said? Is it that you're gay?"**_

_**"What?"**_ Brian asked looking at you incredulous, frowning. _**"Oh geez, why do you keep insisting with that thing that I'm gay? I told you like, I don't know, hundred times that I'm not gay."**_

_**"I'm sorry; it's just that I haven't seen you with a girl in a long... Actually I think I haven't seen you ever with a girl."**_ You said frowning, thoughtful, just realizing that. Then you looked at Brian. He had his jaw clenched and he was looking away, frowning slightly, uncomfortable. _**"Are you virgin?"**_ You asked curiously. He raised his eyebrows in surprise, yet he didn't look at you.

_**"No, I'm not."**_ He answered.

_**"When was your first time? And with whom?" **_You asked intrigued. He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.

_**"High school, my Junior year. With Susan, you know, when she wasn't a bad person."**_ Brian answered and you looked at him astonished, raising your eyebrows.

_**"Susan was your first? Susan? The girl who was part of the W team?"**_ You asked in disbelief.

_**"Yeah, that Susan. But you know; there was no W team by then and Susan was a nice and innocent girl, she was a good person; then she changed when she met Karen."**_ Brian explained. Well, you were still stunned.

_**"I can't believe it."**_ You whispered bewildered. _**"So... Umm... Have you ever had a girlfriend?"**_ You asked and looked at Brian curiously. He was feeling uncomfortable.

_**"Yeah, Susan was my girlfriend. It didn't last so much, though. We dated for five months, and then the thing wasn't working. By my Senior year, we weren't together anymore; she broke up with me because she wasn't happy among other reasons she didn't like about me. So yeah."**_ Brian replied.

Wow, there were a lot of things you didn't know about him and you started to feel weird. He was your best friend and yet you didn't know anything of this. Anyway, you were glad that he was being open with you.

_**"Did you have any other girlfriend besides Susan?" **_

_**"Oh yeah. Before Susan, there was this girl called Connie, in my Freshman year. But you know, I was only 13, so it was more like 'hey, we are holding hands, we're dating!' Yeah, we only pecked our lips; just innocent love."**_ Brian said chuckling softly and you chuckled along with him.

_**"That's cute."**_ You said smiling and Brian looked at you and smiled back.

_**"Yeah, it was cute."**_ He said nodding.

_**"And did you have a girlfriend after Susan?"**_

_**"Umm..."**_ He said uncomfortable again. _**"No."**_

_**"Really?"**_ You asked surprised, raising your eyebrows and looking at him fixedly. He looked down, uncomfortable.

_**"Yeah, really. I... I just didn't want to have any other girlfriend, it was my choice."**_ Brian replied and you nodded, still feeling surprised.

_**"I see, I get it."**_ You said. Maybe he just didn't want to have any serious relationship and that was fine. _**"And what about now? Are you in love with someone?"**_

And that was weird. Brian raised his eyebrows, opened his eyes widely and opened slightly his mouth while clenching his jaw; throwing his head back to look at the ceiling. He moved his lips as if he was trying to say something, but no sound came out from his mouth. He started moving his eyes to the left and the right, still looking at the ceiling; he was really uncomfortable and edgy. He sighed and looked down again, now raising one eyebrow. He pursed his lips. Why was he acting so weird?

_**"Yeah, I am..." **_He finally answered and you looked at him really surprised.

_**"Are you in love with a girl?"**_ You asked surprised and feeling happy for him. Yes, this was a good new; he was finally interested on someone.

_**"Yeah."**_ He answered in a whisper, still avoiding your gaze.

_**"With who? Do I know her?"**_ You asked excited, but Brian didn't seem to be so excited.

_**"Yeah, you know her."**_ He replied and bit his lower lip, still looking down. Wow, he was really uncomfortable.

_**"So, who's the girl?"**_ You asked very intrigued. _**"Is she attending University of Michigan?" **_

_**"Yes, she is."**_ Brian answered in a whisper again. He didn't seem happy at all.

_**"Is she... Is she Meredith?"**_ You asked very excited. She was the only girl that both Brian and you knew, if you weren't wrong. But Brian frowned.

_**"No... No, of course is not Meredith. I barely know her."**_ Brian answered while rubbing his knees with his hands. Then he sighed and pointed his eyebrows downward, making that sad expression again. _**"Please, I don't feel comfortable with this. I know I promised you to answer all of your questions... But, please. I... I'm not ready yet to talk about this. No one knows... and... I just need time. Please."**_ Brian begged in a very sad way that you thought that maybe you could let it go for now. You really didn't want him to feel uncomfortable like this.

_**"Okay, I understand. You don't have to answer it if you don't feel comfortable; I won't get mad. Promise." **_You said softly with a kind smile.

_**"Thank you."**_ He said softly.

He didn't look at you, so you tried to look into his eyes, but it was hard because it seemed he really didn't want you to look at him. You only got to see furtively his eyes before he looked away. Did he have teary eyes? Oh, no! Maybe you screwed it! Maybe the girl rejected him and he was sad for that and you were forcing him to tell you those things. Oh no. You needed to know if the girl knew he was in love with her.

_**"Only one last thing about this girl..."**_ You said and you noticed that Brian gulped and looked even more sadly. _**"Does she know you're in love with her?"**_

_**"No, she doesn't know."**_ He answered and you could notice that his voice sounded choked.

_**"But have you tried to tell her your feelings?" **_

_**"No."**_ He answered in a whisper.

He propped his forehead on one hand and closed his eyes, pointing his eyebrows downward and pursing his lips. Then he opened his eyes again and you really could notice his green teary eyes, even if he wasn't looking at you. Why would he look that sad? You didn't like to see him this sad, because he wasn't like this. So you moved closer and started caressing his hair softly as he closed his eyes again, still with the sad face.

_**"Why don't you try to tell her your feelings?"**_ You said softly while still caressing his hair. He opened his eyes but he kept looking down, staring absently.

_**"I can't do that because I know what her answer will be. She doesn't love me back, the same way I do." **_He answered very low that you had to move closer to hear that.

_**"Are you afraid that she could reject you?"**_ You asked.

_**"Yes." **_He replied and his voice cracked. This was sad.

_**"But what if she doesn't reject you, Brian? You're losing a chance. You shouldn't be afraid of it, you always tell me that."**_ You said softly, trying to encourage him.

_**"It's different, Sunny. When I tell you that, it's because I know you have a chance. And I'm really sure I have no chances with this girl. I know she's gonna reject me." **_He said distressed.

_**"Brian, you shouldn't be so pessimistic." **_You said softly. He rested his elbows in his knees and covered his face with his hands.

_**"Please, I don't wanna talk about this. Please, Sunny; not for now."**_ He said with cracked voice again. You looked at him sadly.

_**"I just don't understand why you're so afraid and so sure she's gonna reject you, Brian."**_ You said still looking at him. _**"Hey, look at me."**_ You said softly, grabbing both of his hands to uncover his face. He finally, in a long time, looked into your eyes. Wow, his green eyes were really sad and teary; it was distressing. _**"You're really beautiful and sexy; and not only that, you're also an extraordinary person, Brian. You're funny, smart, sweet, kind, affectionate, and softhearted. And you're really handsome. I think that every girl would fall for you; so I hardly think this girl could reject you."**_ You said sweetly, looking into his eyes. While you were saying this, Brian kept looking into your eyes and he was even more teary-eyed, but he didn't shed a single tear. Then he only shook his head.

_**"No... You won't understand it; I really can't do that. I can't."**_ He said with teary voice, but again, he didn't shed a single tear. You knew he wanted to cry, but he didn't like to cry in front of people, but he was feeling sad.

_**"Why do you say you can't do that?"**_ You asked confused.

_**"I don't wanna lie to you; so please, just stop talking about this. Someday, I'll tell you everything about it. But not now. Please, don't make me lie to you."**_ He begged looking into your eyes with the same teary-eyed look.

_**"Okay, fine."**_ You said softly, and he nodded as if he was thanking you. _**"I just have another question..."**_ You said slowly. _**"When was the last time you kissed someone?"**_

_**"Well, I kissed you hours ago..."**_ He replied shrugging.

_**"Well, yes; but when was the last time you kissed someone that wasn't because someone was demanding it?" **_

_**"It was also you; days ago... You know, when I was feeling bad because... you know..."**_ Brian answered very uncomfortable, looking away again.

_**"Yes, I know. When you were sad because you were telling me what happened to your dad. We already talked about it, and I know it wasn't your intention... Whatever. What I mean, before that, when was the last time you kissed someone?"**_ You asked again.

Brian was still looking away and his gaze was absently again. His eyes were really sad, just as sad as that day when he told you about his dad. How many things were happening to him to be feeling this way? He bit his lips and he took a really long time to answer you.

_**"High school."**_ He replied in a whisper and you looked at him puzzled.

_**"High school? High school, Brian?"**_ You asked really astonished and he frowned with his sad eyes; pursing his lips. _**"Brian!"**_ You exclaimed perplexed. _**"That was more than a year ago!"**_

_**"I know..."**_ He whispered distressed.

_**"Brian, that's a long time."**_ You said still incredulous.

_**"I know!"**_ He exclaimed a bit louder this time, with cracked voice.

_**"Why?"**_ You asked anguished and still stunned. He didn't answer. _**"Brian, I don't understand..."**_ You whispered, frowning. He was still silent and looking down with teary eyes. _**"I feel lonely because I've been alone since I broke up with Ian about four months ago; I still feel lonely even though I got to kiss Darren weeks ago... How do you do not to feel lonely if you haven't kissed anyone since high school?"**_

_**"I do feel lonely."**_ He said with teary voice and he finally shed some tears, but he wiped them away quickly.

Oh wow, you were feeling really bad for him now. You didn't know what to say, but it was breaking your heart to see him so sad and to have heard him saying he was feeling lonely since long time ago. So you just hugged him as he buried his head on your shoulder and you started caressing his hair very smoothly. You let him cry on your shoulder, you knew he needed to cry. This was the second time he cried in front of you since you've met him. Geez, there was so much pain in his heart and you never noticed this. You only wished you could help him somehow; you wanted to make him happy as he always made you feel whenever you were feeling sad. Poor Brian, you thought sadly.

* * *

**BRIAN'S POV**

* * *

I was lying down in bed in my room of the house that Mandy rented, the lights turned off already. It was the last night we were going to be in the Virgin Islands and I knew I had to sleep because tomorrow I had to return to my normal activities at college; but I just couldn't. I cried again in front of her, and I shouldn't have done it. Damn, I was being so sensitive lately and I hated it; I hated to be vulnerable and weak in front of her. And again, I could sense she was feeling pity for me. But the talk we had was very intense for me; I told her things I thought I'd never tell, that I should have never told; but I had to do it, because the idea of she thinking I didn't trust her, that I didn't want to share things with her and that she said she barely knew me and I didn't seem like a best friend was killing me. She wasn't supposed to know I was in love with a girl; she wasn't supposed to know I haven't really been with a girl since high school; she wasn't supposed to know I was feeling lonely. I knew she was now going to try to talk to me about the girl all the time, to try to convince me to tell her my feelings; and I couldn't do it, she was very clueless and never suspected anything. She didn't realize who the girl was and she'll never know it. I really needed to find the way to stop feeling the way I was feeling for her. But how? This was frustrating. It started to rain and thunder, one of those typical Caribbean hard rains. I chuckled bitterly when I thought in my mind that it was accurate a rain right now that accompanied perfectly how I was feeling, as though it was on purpose. I started thinking that maybe I should know someone new, another girl; maybe that way I could forget her. But I knew that probably it wouldn't work; I tried doing so but it never worked. No one could be compared to her; I couldn't find a girl who could make me feel the way she made me feel, who could be the way she was. Sometimes I just hated where I was standing. Damn, I really needed to sleep, but I wouldn't stop thinking about her. Then I heard a sound that made me startle; someone opened the door of my bedroom. Maybe I just imagined it, because I couldn't hear any sound; maybe it was just the wind, I didn't know, I couldn't see anything at all in the darkness. But then I noticed that someone sat on the edge of my bed.

_**"Can I sleep with you?" **_I heard Sunny's sleepy voice and my heart skipped a beat. What was she doing here and why did she ask something like that? I didn't answer and I didn't move. _**"I always had a fear of storms and I don't wanna be alone. Can I?"**_ She asked like a little kid.

My heart was beating fast; I didn't know what to answer. Yes, I wanted to answer that she could, because I wanted it; but I didn't know if this was a good idea. I lost my control when we kissed on the beach, so I wouldn't know how I would react if she slept with me.

_**"Please?"**_ She whispered supplicant like a little kid again. I took a deep breath and I convinced myself that I could manage this.

_**"Sure."**_ I replied in a whisper, moving to make room for her next to me.

She tucked herself under the blankets, right next to me. I tried to move a little more so our bodies wouldn't touch, but it was hard because it was only a single bed. And damn, I was only in my underwear as I was used to sleep; I never imagined she could appear here in the middle of the night. My heart was beating really fast and I was feeling kind of nervous, more when I felt the warmth of her body and her smell of soap and coconut. I was really strained looking at the ceiling, trying not to move. But she snuggled up into me, placing her head on my chest and wrapping an arm around my waist. I felt even more strained.

_**"Can you please hold me?"**_ She asked with sleepy voice and my heart skipped a beat again. Damn. _**"Please, I feel scared and lonely."**_ She whispered sadly. I gulped and looked at the ceiling nervously. I couldn't do that. _**"Please."**_ She begged.

She could always make me do whatever she wanted, and more when she talked in that supplicant way. So I moved a bit closer and I wrapped my arms around her. When she felt my arms around her, she sighed as if she was feeling comfortable and she moved her head, so now her nose was slightly touching my neck, so as her lips. I was feeling very thrilled by her slight touch and the warmth of her body. She seemed to be asleep now; so I just closed my eyes and I held her tightly. I wasn't going to do anything, I just wanted to enjoy this moment I could hold her in my arms as I always wanted. I just wanted to imagine in my mind that I had her, even if I was aware that it wasn't like that, I wanted to imagine that, just for this night. I smoothly caressed her arm with my thumb to feel her soft skin, I moved my nose to her hair so I could smell it and then I kissed her temple. What was I doing? I was being a total stalker. I shouldn't be doing this. I was her best friend. So, I opened my eyes again and I absently stared the ceiling. Then I felt how she slightly kissed my neck and I frowned. Maybe I just imagined it, I tried to look at her face, but it was very dark. No, I wasn't imagining it; she kissed me again on the neck. I should probably stop her, but I couldn't do it; I liked it. She kept kissing my neck so I just closed my eyes again to enjoy it, only for tonight. I wouldn't let happen anything, I wouldn't do anything; I was just letting her kissing my neck, only that. It has been a really long time since the last time someone kissed my neck; and the fact that she was the one who was doing that, was making me feel... weird, in a good way. Only for tonight I could pretend she was mine, that I wasn't lonely. Then she started kissing my jaw and then she kissed the corner of my lips. Now my heart was beating really fast in a way that was completely insane, not only that, but my body also started trembling because of my nervousness and thrill. She brushed her lips with mine; they tasted so good. I couldn't help it; I placed one hand on her jaw and I nuzzled her nose with mine, still brushing our lips. Then she kissed my mouth very slightly. I knew I should stop her right now, I knew it; but I couldn't do it. Instead, I kissed her back, softly and tenderly. I broke the kiss to brush her lips and feel them, and then she kissed me again; this time it was a deeper kiss and even more intense, but I tried to keep it tender and sweet. I was feeling so many emotions that it was ridiculous, I wasn't feeling so lonely now; only for tonight, I kept repeating in my mind. Then she stopped kissing me and started giving me soft pecks while I was caressing her cheek with my thumb. She breathed against my lips for a while as I still had my eyes closed.

_**"Thank you, Darren."**_ She murmured in front of my lips.

When I heard this, I abruptly moved my face away from hers and I tried to look at her face, but it was dark. She was sleepwalker, I remembered. She rested her head again on my chest as I stared the ceiling again, puzzled. Oh crap, I was feeling so bad. She thought I was Darren, so that was why she was kissing me. I bit my lips and I frowned, feeling a painful lump in my throat; doing a hard effort not to cry, but I couldn't get it. I started crying silently, a muffled crying; trying my best not to make any kind of sound, so she wouldn't notice I was crying. She was going to reject me; she was still in love with Darren. And I was feeling this pain in my chest, the pain of feeling completely lonely again; the pain of having an unrequited love; the pain of being in love with my best friend.

* * *

You arrived in Ann Arbor on Tuesday at noon. You went straight to Brian's room which was going to be your room too. You still had to look for your personal belongings that were in the room you shared with Meredith; but you didn't want to leave Brian alone, because today he seemed to be feeling even worse. He looked haggard, he had dark circles and he didn't talk since he woke up until you arrived here. Anyway, you didn't want to force him to talk. When you arrived you thought it could be good to make coffee for the two of you to start the day and come back to your normal activities. You opened the cupboard and you saw that there was nothing, it was empty; but fortunately there was a jar of instant coffee. You reminded to yourself that you should go to the campus grocery and buy some things. Brian was just sitting on the couch and you walked to him to ask if he wanted some coffee. But he was there sleeping sitting, resting his elbow on the arm of the couch and resting one side of his face on his hand. You looked at him in silence for a while; he seemed to be very tired. You walked closer and then you placed one hand on his shoulder and shook it softly. He woke up abruptly, like alarmed and confused. When he looked at you, he frowned and rubbed his eyes, still sleepy.

_**"Brian, sorry I woke you up. I was wondering if you want coffee."**_ You asked softly, smiling slightly.

_**"Umm, no thanks."**_ He replied, his voice husky with sleep, still rubbing his eyes. Then he yawned.

_**"You look tired."**_ You commented softly, sitting next to him and caressing his cheek softly. He turned his face slightly, as though he didn't like you doing this.

_**"Yeah, it's just that last night I couldn't sleep at all."**_ He answered while still yawning and looking away. _**"You know, the storm." **_

_**"Yes, it was a terrible storm. But hey, a coffee could help you to feel up."**_ You said smiling.

_**"Yeah, but I... I think I'll skip classes today, I feel really tired."**_ He said frowning with sleepy eyes and dark circles, looking down. He looked so much older. _**"I... I'll go to bed."**_ Brian said standing up and you looked at him and nodded. _**"Umm, feel free to do what you want... After all, umm... You'll live here too."**_

_**"Yes, thanks."**_ You said softly still looking at him, even though he wasn't looking at you. _**"I hope you can rest."**_

_**"Thanks."**_ Brian said softly and then he turned around and started walking to the bedroom.

You heard how he closed the door and you sighed. He was acting very different with you. He was still being nice; but you noticed he was more distant. He didn't talk too much, he barely smiled, he looked tired and sad, and he always tried to avoid your hugs or any other caring gesture. He wasn't like that before. Well, you really needed to understand he wasn't going through a good moment; with this entire thing about his dad, the job, the college, his economic situation; and now there was also the fact that he's been feeling lonely since more than a year because he hasn't been with any girl, not even a simple kiss. You couldn't understand that, though; he was a really handsome and amazing guy, why wouldn't he get at least a hook up? It was hard for you to believe that no girl was interested on him; even Meredith thought he was sexy and sympathetic when she met him. You never thought that Brian, out of all the people, could have low self-esteem. No way. Well, you were going to help him with the girl he was in love with, once you get to know it. You were sure the girl wouldn't reject him, he was adorable. You stood up and searched for your phone. It was time to turn it on and check if you got any text or call in the last three days. Oh what the hell? As soon as you turned on your phone, it didn't stop buzzing. You looked at it stunned. 20 text messages, 35 missed calls and 26 voicemails. Everything was from Darren. What the heck was this? He was crazy. It certainly made you feel moody. But why would he do all of that? Why? Anyway, you decided to text him back.

* * *

So, I attended my first class in the morning and now I didn't have any other class until 4pm, which was good because I had a lot of things to do. I had to catch up with a lot of assignments and it was driving me crazy. I never thought this year could be so hard; I almost had no free time. And I also had to go to Meredith's room so I could catch Freckles before she could pack all of her belongings to move out. But I was starting to think that I wouldn't be able to make it in time; not with all the things I had to do: Write a script of a full-length play for the Playwriting course; analyze two scripts for the Directing course, explore issues of clarity and expressiveness through use of drafting tools for the Drafting & Model Making course, read a book about the origins and evolution of the theatre building and theatrical design for the History of Theatre Architecture and Stage Design course, and practice my monologue for the Acting course. Oh fuck, I didn't even know when I was going to do all of that stuff. Crazy, it was crazy! And I wasn't the only one who was moody because of this, Joey was also kinda crazy and moody; so I really didn't want to talk to him because we were going to end up arguing over a really stupid thing like what happened this morning when we started arguing about leaving the soap in the right or left side of the sink. That was a truly pathetic argument, but we both argued in a rude way. Pathetic. So I was now in my room, trying to draw a stupid scenography I had in my mind, but I couldn't make it; the drawing wasn't even by close of what I had in mind, and I didn't want to think how the hell I was going to make a model of that. It was absurd that we had to make this, some people just weren't talented with this kind of stuff and this had nothing to do with theatre; well yeah, it had to do, but I was never going to do this in my entire life, so I just couldn't understand why I had to do that. Therefore, I was very moody. And to make things worse, Joey got out from the bedroom, apparently angry.

_**"How many times do I have to tell you not to mix up your socks with mine? And also, how many times do I have to tell you not to leave your stupid clothes on the floor? Muggles have their place, mudbloods have their place, and so do your clothes! Namely a dresser!"**_ He asked very angry with a pair of socks in his hands.

_**"What?"**_ I asked in disbelief, irritated. _**"Oh, suck my balls! Those socks just look like yours! I didn't even know I had those striped pink socks. And what about the clothes, Joey? You also leave all of your clothes on the floor. Once I tangled my feet with one of your stupid t-shirts and I got a scratch on my face thanks to that. A fucking scratch! On my face!" **_

_**"That wasn't my fault! It's not my fault that you're so clumsy to tumble with a t-shirt on the floor."**_ Joey said angrily, pointing me with his forefinger.

_**"What, am I clumsy now?" **_I asked moody and when he was about to answer, I raised my eyebrows and pointed him with my forefinger. _**"Do not even try to answer that!"**_ I said firmly.

_**"Whatever! Go and take out all of your clothes from the floor! I've spent like an hour trying to find my script in that messy bedroom, all thanks to you!"**_ Joey said almost yelling.

_**"Well, I might be clumsy but you totally have a terrible memory! If you could think a little more, you'll remember that you left your scripts there on the desk, precisely because you said you weren't going to leave anything in the messy bedroom!"**_ I said pointing the desk in which Joey's scripts were. He looked that direction and frowned, not saying anything at all. _**"This argument is pathetic, man."**_

_**"Yeah, it is..."**_ Joey said looking away, serious. I looked at him for a while and then I started laughing out loud. He looked at me and started laughing along with me. _**"Buddy, as if we were two ladies living together!"**_

_**"Correction: Two completely hysterical ladies living together."**_ I said still laughing.

_**"Yeah, especially if people get to see these pink socks." **_Joey said showing me the striped pink socks again.

_**"Hey, pink is totally awesome, man. Do not mess with the pink!"**_ I screamed while still laughing.

I ran to Joey and grabbed the pink socks and put them on my hands, then I walked to the bedroom and put on an old pink t-shirt I had, I grabbed another pair of pink socks and put them on my feet, and I also grabbed a flamboyant pink feather boa that I stole from the Costume Design course and I wrapped it on my neck. Then I walked to Joey again, in a very effeminate way. He looked at me really amused and burst out laughing.

_**"I'm the pink man!" **_I screamed like a girl.

_**"Oh wait, wait! I have something else you can wear! I got it from the Costume Design course!"**_ Joey said excited.

He ran to the bedroom and came back with a pink deerstalker hat, a pink feather purse and a pink lipstick. He placed the hat on my head and I hung the purse on my shoulder. Then he put lipstick on my mouth, surely in a very wrong way because I felt lipstick on my nose, but whatever. This was hilarious.

_**"I'm totally awesome, biatch!" **_I screamed like a girl again.

Then I heard someone knocking the door, so I walked to it in an effeminate way, swinging the feather boa; as Joey was laughing hard and taking me pictures with his phone. I opened the door and posed in an effeminate way: hip cocked to one side and hands on my hips, puckering up my lips and fluttering my eyelashes.

_**"Hello. Welcome to the pink land."**_ I said with woman's voice.

I finally looked at the person. I thought the person would be any of our friends, but I was wrong. A complete stranger, a guy, was right there looking at me from head to toe, aghast. I suddenly felt very ashamed, so I stood upright and I tried to make a serious face to dissimulate at least a little the ridiculous way I looked.

_**"Yeah? Can I help you?"**_ I asked with my normal voice now, serious. The guy was still looking at me aghast.

_**"Yes, I came to ask if you could speak lower; because I wouldn't stop hearing a scream of a girl while I'm trying to concentrate on my studies."**_ The guy said serious.

_**"Oh yeah, sorry. My roommate and I..."**_ I started saying and I noticed how the guy popped his head to look at Joey and he frowned astonished. _**"Promise to speak lower." **_

_**"Yeah, and please, especially tell that to the girl."**_ The guy pointed.

_**"Oh yeah, that was me."**_ I answered and I bit my lower tongue not to laugh. _**"We're practicing... You know, theater students."**_

_**"Right..."**_ The guys said raising his eyebrows. _**"Okay, bye..."**_

_**"Bye! Have a good day."**_ I greeted cheerfully and I quickly closed the door to look at Joey and burst out laughing along with him. _**"Oh my fucking god! That was hilarious!" **_

_**"Hell yeah! You should have seen that guy's face! I'm pretty sure he thought we were a transgender gay couple having an argument!"**_ Joey said laughing out loud.

_**"Look at us. We are honeybee!"**_ I said with woman's voice, winking at Joey. _**"And for the record, I play the girl role, cause I'm a transsexual woman." **_

_**"I always knew you were the type who likes to receive and not give."**_ Joey said winking and I laughed, taking off the feather boa and the hat.

_**"Give me hard! Make me scream!"**_ I begged while laughing.

After taking off that costume and the lipstick, I sat on the table to keep trying to draw that scenography I had in mind and Joey grabbed his scripts and went to the bedroom. This drawing totally sucked, but I needed to get this shit done because I had more things to do. I was concentrated again, but my phone buzzed and distracted me. I grabbed it lazily while erasing a part of the drawing I didn't like; but when I read the name of the person who sent me a text message, my heart skipped a beat and I put aside all I was doing to read it.

From Freckles: **Stop sending me texts and calling me, Darren. Just stop.**

And that was everything she replied me after all the time I tried to communicate with her. Well, now I wasn't so excited and bright. It actually made me feel bad. Has she even listened to my voicemails telling her I was sorry and all I wanted was to apologize? Because, if she has done it, this text message was kinda rough. I didn't know if I should reply her or not. Anyway, what would I reply her? 'Hey, I'm telling you sorry for the thousandth time and that's all you've got to say? Gee, thanks.' No, I couldn't reply her that because I didn't want to make things worse; I just wanted to apologize and talk honestly to her so I could start my life again without her. Then I came up with an idea. I put my drawing and some books I was going to need for the next course in my backpack and I left my room. I walked straight to Meredith's room.

_**"Hi, curly boy."**_ Meredith said when she opened the door. _**"Come in."**_

_**"Alright, smiley girl."**_ I greeted her, entering her room and closing the door behind me.

_**"If you're looking for Freckles, she's not here and she won't come here today."**_ Meredith said putting some books in her backpack.

_**"Why not?"**_ I asked curiously.

_**"She said she'll make it another day because she has to pack a lot of things and she doesn't want to leave her friend alone, because apparently he's feeling worse."**_ Meredith answered while putting some pens and notebooks in her backpack. _**"Hey, I really have to go, I have class right now. Sorry."**_

_**"Wait! I need to ask you a huge, very huge favor that I promise I'll return to you."**_ I begged and she looked at me suspiciously.

_**"Well, I think the favor is indeed a huge one, otherwise you'd never say you'll return it to me. What's that favor about?"**_ She asked.

_**"Well, it turns out that Freckles finally replied my text messages."**_ I started saying and she looked at me raising her eyebrows with a big smile and she was about to say something but I interrupted her. _**"But... It wasn't a nice answer. She asked me to stop texting and calling her."**_ I said and she closed her mouth and looked down. _**"And you know I really need to talk to her and apologize. But how would I do it if she doesn't want me to call her? And this is the part in which you take action."**_ I said and Meredith looked at me suspiciously, raising an eyebrow.

_**"What do you want from me, curly boy?"**_ She asked.

_**"I was wondering if you could call her and tell you need her here for some random reason. I'm sure she'll listen to you and she'll come here, you both are friends. So, you have to go now, but I could stay here and so then, by the time Freckles arrives here... Surprise! I'm gonna be the one who opens the door, so that way we'll finally talk."**_ I said really quickly, really hoping she could say yes.

_**"I don't think it's a good idea... She's gonna hate me for that."**_ Meredith said frowning, looking down, thoughtful. I walked to her and I held both of her hands.

_**"I beg you, Mere. I promise I'll tell Freckles that I forced you and you had no options, so she won't hate you. I really, really need to talk to her right now, and this is the only option. Please, help me!"**_ I begged looking into her eyes and she sighed.

_**"Okay, I'm gonna do it. But you owe me this; I'll keep it in mind. Maybe you'll have to buy me a huge jar of Nutella."**_ Meredith said frowning and I giggled.

_**"Thanks! I'll buy you thousand huge jars of Nutella! Thank you, thank you, thank you!"**_ I said hugging her and kissing quickly her cheeks repeatedly.

_**"Ugh! Go away, Darren!"**_ She said frowning and I laughed as she grabbed her phone. _**"Be silent, I'm calling her. You owe me a big one, Criss." **_

_**"Yes!"**_ I said in a whisper, smiling widely.

_**"Hey, Freckles! How is everything going? Oh, I see. Yeah, it seems weird... Yes, better if he takes a nap, maybe he needs it with all the things that are happening. I feel bad for him... Okay, I'll be careful not to mention that in front of him; yeah I wouldn't like him to feel even worse. Isn't there anything I can do? Okay, if you ever need my help, just let me know, really."**_ Meredith was saying while talking to Freckles. I was looking at her intrigued; maybe they were talking about Brian and I wondered again what it could be happening. _**"Oh yes, right, yes I was calling you for a specific reason. I understand you don't want to leave Brian alone, but I was wondering if you could come over here now for a couple of hours? Because I have this assignment that is drawing a sketch of a costume; I have it in mind, but I can't draw it because I'm terrible at it and you're so good... I promise I'll return you the favor."**_ Meredith said a bit nervous because she didn't like to lie. I bit my lips to prevent the laughter. That was a convincing excuse. _**"Why are you laughing? Okay yes, I get it! Call me drama queen, but I really can't do it without you! Please? It won't take so long. Oh my god, thank you a lot, Freckles! Thanks! Yes, come over here when you can. In an hour? Yes, seems good. Okay, see you soon, then. Thanks!"**_ Meredith said and hung up. She got it! I knew that!

_**"Thank you, Mere! You're the best!"**_ I said hugging her tightly.

_**"Argh, go away! I didn't like to lie. You really owe me one."**_ Meredith said frowning and I kissed her cheek.

_**"Yes, I won't forget this."**_ I said smiling.

_**"Well, I have to go now. Good luck with Freckles, curly boy." **_Meredith said grabbing her backpack. _**"Please, try not to burn my room or something... Oh boy, I should be scared to leave you alone here."**_ She said looking around and worried as I laughed. _**"Okay, see you later."**_

Meredith turned around and left the room. And I stayed there, not knowing what to do. I had to wait an hour. What was I going to do? Maybe I could go to the Blue Apple and buy some things for us; maybe a coffee and some cookies, or something. But then I remembered I didn't have the keys of the room, so I was like stuck in here. I walked to Meredith's cupboard to see if she had something at all. Well, she had a jar of instant coffee and of course there was a lot of food; no doubts it was Meredith's room. I grabbed two bowls and I put some chip cookies in one bowl and chocolate cupcakes in the other bowl and I placed them on the table. Then I started making two coffees so by the time she arrives, the only thing I would have to do would be to heat it. But I did it too fast and I still had 45 minutes till she arrives. I sat on the table and I stared at nothing in particular, the wait was killing me, I needed to get distracted with something. I stood up and I started looking all the fantastic paintings and drawings by Freckles that were hung on the walls. She was really talented, it was incredible. Surely she was the best student in her program. After a while, I found myself in the bedroom, lying like an idiot on Freckles' bed, smelling the pillow; this was pathetic, but it had her smell and I liked it. Then something caught my attention: Freckles' closet was open and I could see a notepad, a particular notepad; it was her journal. I knew I shouldn't be doing this, but I stood up and walked to there to grab the journal. When I had it in my hands, I first observed the notepad cover. It was made by herself; it was painted with the colors of the rainbow and it had peculiar and eccentric figures painted, particularly odd shapes of eyes. She liked eyes, apparently. In the bottom of the notepad cover, it spelled 'Journal' with an extraordinary handwriting. I shouldn't open it, it was something private. But I wanted to do it, I was super intrigued. What if she mentioned me in there? I opened it and I saw the first page. It was just a very realistic graphite drawing of an eye; the only part that had color was the iris of the eye; it had the colors of the rainbow and the eye was shedding a tear, also with the colors of the rainbow. I never thought that a simple drawing could express so many feelings. It was like the rainbow expressed happiness and the tear expressed sadness; duh, very well thought, it was a journal, surely it had written sad and happy things. In the bottom of the page was written her name in black ink. I turned the page of the notepad and I looked at it stunned. That was magnificent, this wasn't a normal journal, this was a masterpiece of art combined with her thoughts. It was outstanding. The pages were painted with watercolors: sometimes it was just a colorful background with things drawn in ink, sometimes it was surrealistic landscapes, sometimes distorted human figures; there were also a lot of collages with magazine and newspapers clippings; some of the pages were flat and some of them were textured and embossed. And she didn't write in a normal way, respecting the lines of the paper. No. She wrote with different types of handwriting and also with letters from magazine clippings; and the letters and words usually lined the contour of her drawings; or sometimes the letters and words created a drawing. This was fantastic, man. I was so mesmerized by her work of art that I didn't pay attention to the things she wrote. The first thing I read was a beautiful phrase: **'The appearance of things change according to the emotions, and thus we see magic and beauty in them, while the magic and beauty are really in ourselves.'** And it was written next to drawing in ink that she drawn of her sister, Brian and her, laughing together. That drawing seemed to be a photo, it was really well drawn. I kept turning pages until something caught my attention. There was a picture of me in a colorful painting in watercolors and under the picture was written **'Darren Everett Criss'** in ink, with her amazing handwriting. It seemed to be the cover of something, like the title of a chapter in a book. I turned the page to find out that indeed, she wrote about me in the next pages. Should I read this? I wasn't sure, I knew I shouldn't do this, it was really wrong. But she wrote about me and I needed to know. My heart was beating fast and I was really nervous. I read the first phrase that was written: **'Often we let go little things without knowing how big they are.'** When I read that I started feeling something painful in my chest; it was a wonderful thing and it made me feel thrilled; but I still didn't know if that meant something good or not. I needed to keep reading now. I was about to turn the page, but something stopped me abruptly. Someone knocked the door. Shit, shit, shit! It was surely Freckles! I was feeling very edgy. I put the notepad just where it was and I stood up quickly. I took several deep breaths to calm down and pretend I was doing nothing. Damn shit, I really needed to calm down and focus that I was here to have a quiet talk with her and to apologize to her. Okay, I was ready. I walked to the door and I opened it to see the very beautiful Freckles standing in front of me with a surprised face. Alright, here we go...

_**"Hi, Freckles!"**_ I greeted cheerfully and she kept looking at me serious and surprised.

_**"Hi..."**_ She answered in a whisper, curtly.

_**"Please, come in."**_ I said while stepping aside so she could get in.

She entered the room slowly and looked around; she was surely looking for Meredith. Her gaze stopped on the table and she stared it for a while, in silence. I closed the door and I stood there behind her, feeling a bit nervous. She finally turned around to look at me, still serious.

_**"I was looking for Meredith..."**_ She said serious looking at me and I looked down, biting my lips. It was time to explain she wasn't here.

_**"Well, umm..."**_ I babbled. _**"She... She is not here." **_

_**"Weird... Is she coming any soon?"**_ She asked coldly.

_**"Umm... No."**_ I replied feeling very awkward, still looking down.

_**"Oh... I see..."**_ She said slowly and I looked at her. She was raising an eyebrow and she seemed to be disgruntled. _**"I've been cheated."**_

_**"No, it's not like that..."**_ I said softly and she raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms. _**"Well, somehow yeah; but I swear it's for a good reason." **_

_**"I don't wanna know what the reason is. I can't believe Meredith has done this..."**_ She said almost in a whisper, frowning and looking down.

_**"It's not her fault. I forced her."**_ I said awkwardly. She looked at me in disbelief and she huffed bitterly.

_**"Whatever..."**_ She said coldly and started walking to the door. I quickly stood in front of the door to prevent her from leaving. She looked at me upset. _**"If you excuse me, I have things to do."**_ She said coldly.

She tried to reach the doorknob to leave, but I managed to grab both of her hands. She looked at me frowning and upset, but also stunned. I just looked at her deeply into her eyes, a supplicant look most likely as my 'puppy eyes' as she used to call them; yet, I didn't know if this kind of look still had effect on her as before. At least it made her stop frowning and made her shift her gaze.

_**"Please don't go."**_ I said supplicant and softly. She looked at me again, now she didn't seem upset, she seemed thoughtful. _**"Let me talk to you. I promise that I won't make you feel bad again; I just planned this all to have a quiet and honest talk; not like the last time we saw each other. So, please, stay."**_ I begged with the same supplicant look. She looked into my eyes silently for a while.

_**"Alright."**_ She replied and I looked at her with a slight smile on my face.

_**"Alright?"**_ I asked as checking if I heard well.

_**"Yes, alright."**_ She repeated and let out my hands to walk to the chair and sit, leaving her backpack on the floor as I was just looking at her amazed, very thankful.

_**"Thank you."**_ I said honestly, walking to the table. _**"Do you want some coffee? And there are cookies and cupcakes to eat."**_

_**"Yes, I saw them, I'm not blind. And no thanks, I don't want coffee."**_ She answered looking at a random point of the table.

I really didn't hear her response, because I walked to the microwave and put there the two cups of coffee, giving her my back, trying to think how I was going to start this conversation. I really didn't plan what I was going to tell her; yes, I knew I wanted to apologize, but I didn't plan how. When the coffee was already heated, I grabbed the two cups of coffee and I stood behind her to place her coffee cup in front of her. She looked up at me.

_**"I said I didn't want coffee."**_ She said and I walked to the chair right in front of her with my cup of coffee to sit there.

_**"Are you gonna reject the coffee I enthusiastically made for you?" **_I asked looking at her into her eyes, with those typical sad eyes; in a jokingly way.

_**"Hmm..."**_ She murmured and I noticed a very slight but amused smile on her face while she was looking at the coffee. _**"Do I really have to risk my life?"**_ She asked and I looked at her a bit confused, frowning a bit amused. Then she finally looked at me, she had an amused face. _**"I mean, both you and me know you're definitely not good when it comes to everything related to domestic activities; so I could be risking my life if I drink the coffee."**_ She said amused and I looked at her amazed before starting to laugh.

_**"Oh yeah, you still remember. But really, is there any way I could screw a damn coffee? Do you really think I am that bad?"**_ I asked amused and she looked at me raising an eyebrow still smiling amused.

_**"Do I have to answer that? I really don't wanna hurt your feelings."**_ She answered. I really liked the way she was making this easy and not so hard in the tense situation between us.

_**"Well, you'll hurt my feelings if you don't drink the coffee I made with all my little heart."**_ I said placing a hand on my heart and pouting. She chuckled softly and I took a sip of my coffee. _**"It's not so bad, you know?"**_

_**"Hmm, I'll give it a chance. If I die, please, tell everybody I love them and that my will is in my nightstand, written in a napkin."**_ She said in a theatrical voice, placing her hand on her heart.

_**"In a napkin? Seriously?"**_ I asked amused, raising my eyebrows.

_**"Yes, I didn't have too much to write; so..."**_ She said shrugging. _**"Wish me luck."**_ She said grabbing the cup of coffee as I chuckled softly, looking at her. She took a sip and frowned. _**"Am I already dead?"**_

_**"Hey!"**_ I said laughing. _**"It's not so bad."**_ I said frowning and pouting.

_**"No, actually it's not. I'm impressed." **_She said smiling softly as she took another sip and I looked at her, smiling back.

She left the cup on the table and stared at it. I was just looking at her silently, still smiling slightly, with my hand on the cup of coffee. She didn't look at me and she didn't say anything, but that was fine. It was weird to be with her like this, but it still felt good. Look at her, I was in love with that girl over there; we were in love and we shared so many fantastic things. And here we were, two strangers not so strangers, drinking hot coffee in a random afternoon. We were no longer the teenagers of that time; we were now two young people exploring new things. It was nostalgic, but it felt good anyway. When she looked up at me with her big and bright eyes, I smiled friendly and she smiled faintly.

_**"There's a curious thing about us."**_ I finally said and she looked at me intrigued. _**"And it's the fact that I was never capable of guessing what could happen between us over time." **_

_**"What do you mean?"**_ She asked intrigued, looking into my eyes.

_**"Well, think about this: When I first met you in high school, you were just a weird girl, a stranger for me. I never thought I could ever talk to you; yet we became friends. When we were friends, I only thought we were going to be like those people who have fun together but never hang out outside school; yet we became best friends and we shared so many secrets, spending a lot of time together. When we were best friends, I never thought I could ever have deeper feelings for you; yet I fell in love with you, and we became a couple, you became my very first real love. I remember I couldn't stand spending a single minute without you."**_ I said softly, smiling warmly and looking deeply into her eyes. She was also looking deeply into my eyes, but she was silent and she wasn't smiling. _**"When you were mine, I always thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with you, because you were meant to be with me; because you were perfect to me, you were the one and only for me; you were like my everything. I was sure about it; yet, here we are; we became like this sort of strangers."**_ I said raising my forearms and shrugging. _**"Who would have ever imagined that we could end up like this? I'm sure none of the people who witnessed our teenage love could have imagined it. And I'm also sure neither of us did it." **_I said almost in a whisper, still looking into her eyes, even though she was now looking down at her cup of coffee. _**"So that's it all; I think I'll never be capable to guess what could happen to us. Maybe that's a cool thing, an exciting thing; not knowing what will happen next, getting surprised all the time. I do think that even the most unexpected thing could happen, you see, it was always like that."**_ I said smiling faintly as she was still looking down. _**"Yeah, it's exciting not knowing what will happen next. But also, sometimes, I wish I could just decide and draw my destiny the way I'd really want it to be; our destiny the way we'd really want it to be. I'm aware I can't do that, but I know I can do at least a little something to try to route it. And it starts with my apologies."**_ I said softly, looking into her eyes which were now looking at me again.

She was serious, but she wasn't looking at me in a cold way, it was more like she was intently listening to me and she was trying to understand everything I was saying. I stood up and I grabbed the chair to move it next to her. She was only looking at me silently; apparently she couldn't understand why I was doing it. I sat on the chair and I took both of her hands, looking intensely into her eyes. She was a bit nervous, I could sense it in her hands that were sweating; and also in her eyes that were looking at me straight in the eye. However, she didn't let out my hands and she didn't move away.

_**"I'm really sorry for the way I treated you that Friday night. I was out of myself and now I know perfectly which the reasons were. I treated you in a very rude way you did not deserve and I really didn't mean most of the things I said. I'm also very sorry for the way I kissed you; it was an impulse I could not control for being so mad, frustrated and sad; but mostly for being confused. I sincerely apologize to you and I hope you can take my apology."**_ I said honestly, still looking intensely into her eyes and still holding her tiny hands. She was about to say something, but I quickly interrupted her. _**"Do not say anything yet. If I want you to really forgive me; then first I have to be completely honest with you and I need to explain you what I've been feeling all this time that led me to treat you in that terrible way."**_

_**"Honesty hour?"**_ She asked looking straight into my eye. I looked down and chuckled faintly.

_**"Honesty hour."**_ I said now looking into her eyes again, with a slight smile. She only nodded. I took a deep breath before start talking; I was going to tell her absolutely everything. _**"When I met you again here, I was still in love with you. You already know I've spent last year searching you everywhere and you already know why we grew apart, regardless if you believe it or not."**_ I said and she looked down, biting her lower lip. I knew she still didn't believe it, but that wasn't my point. _**"The point is that I could never get over you, I never stopped loving you. So, when you were finally back here, I thought we were going to get back together again, because I've dreamed of that moment since we grew apart. But things weren't going as I expected. You were distant and you were different; I started feeling confused and frustrated."**_ I admitted, frowning slightly and biting my lower lip, looking down. When I looked up again, she was looking at me sadly. _**"Every time I tried to get close to you, you were just trying to get away from me. I do not blame you for that; but in that moment I was really blaming you; I was feeling mad at you. I was feeling mad because I was all the fucking time thinking about you, because I couldn't take you off my mind, because I was still in love with you; and you weren't feeling the same for me, I could sense it. I was mad because we weren't being as we used to. You found the way to move on while I was stuck. You found someone new to love, while I could never find someone like you; it just made me feel terrible. It made me feel terrible the way I noticed that now you didn't care about me the way you used to care; and I let anger replace what I was actually feeling that it was sadness for having lost the most important person to me."**_ I said looking sadly into her eyes and my voice cracked as I squeezed softly her hands. She only gulped and looked down. I cleared my throat and took a deep breath before talking again. _**"Hence I wrote a song for you with the idea that in that way I would get over you; hence I yelled at you and said hideous things I didn't mean. I decided to be prideful and hide my real feelings; so I disguised the sadness and loneliness I was feeling; turning them into anger, hate and coldness. That's how human beings act when they're ashamed of their own real feelings. I was ashamed to admit that you were still the only person I wanted to be with. I wanted to hold you in my arms, to caress you, to kiss you; but I hid it and, instead, I yelled at you, I made you feel like crap and I told you I hated you while what I truly wanted to tell you was that I loved you. My stupid pride won me."**_ I said bitterly, looking blankly at the floor, raising an eyebrow and shrugging, still holding her hands. I sighed and looked at her again. _**"I just couldn't stand the idea of letting you go; of being without you after all the time I've been waiting for you to be with me again. I couldn't stand the idea of seeing you with another guy who could make you smile and feel loved, because I was the only one supposed to make you feel that way."**_ I said with choked voice and teary eyes, squeezing her hands softly, looking into her eyes. She was looking at me sadly. _**"I'm selfish, I know."**_ I said looking down now, frowning. Then I felt how Freckles let out one of her hands to place it on my chin and lift it to make me look into her eyes.

_**"You are not selfish."**_ She said softly looking deeply into my eyes and I looked at her very distressed.

_**"Thanks. But yes, I am. You know why?"**_ I asked looking into her eyes and she didn't say anything, as though she was expecting the answer. _**"Because I truly loved you; so I should have thought about your happiness. I should have felt happy for you knowing that other guy was making you feel happy. It's all I should have cared. But no, I refused to think that I wasn't that guy. So I was selfish."**_ I explained her and she looked down. _**"I truly apologize for all my mistakes. I never meant to make you feel bad, that is the last thing I wanted. I just couldn't control my feelings and I'm really sorry for that." **_

_**"And I really forgive you and thank you for being honest with me."**_ She said softly looking into my eyes, with a slight smile.

I stared her eyes for a while and then I frowned and looked down as I started shedding some tears because this was what I wanted to hear. That was all I needed to start again with my mind clear. After this, everything was going to be left behind. I let out her hands to wipe away my tears.

_**"But..."**_ Freckles whispered and I looked at her. She was looking away and she seemed to be having troubles to say something. _**"What you said... It's really moving. But I can't be with you again because... I'm no longer in love with you."**_ She said slowly and awkwardly, still looking away. I closed my eyes, pursed my lips and nodded, then I looked at her again; she was still looking away.

_**"I know."**_ I said and she looked at me anguished. _**"And I finally realized that I'm no longer in love with you as well."**_ I admitted, scratching the nape of my neck and pursing my lips. She looked at me confused, frowning. _**"It took me a long time to finally truly understand that I couldn't be in love with you because you've changed and I've changed; and we're not the teenagers we used to be. All this time I've been seeing you as the girl I used to know, without wanting to admit you were no longer like that way. I've been seeing you like that teenage girl because a part of me still didn't want to deal with the fact that I lost the one person who brought too much happiness to my life; to deal with the fact that it was time to admit I was alone and I had to start over again, because I didn't know how to start over again, because it scared me. So I hung on the memories I had of you, instead seeing the reality. I wasn't in love with you; I was in love with the memory of you; that was my biggest mistake." **_I said looking at her apologetically as she was looking at me curiously, but apparently feeling more relieved. _**"And I was afraid I could turn our best memories of our love story into a bad one; because it wouldn't be fair, because I still think what we had was special, even if now we aren't the same, even if now we don't feel the same; our love was something remarkable and unforgettable. I want to keep those memories as something good as it should be."**_ I said smiling warmly and she smiled back.

_**"I want the same. And I also think that what we had was something special and unforgettable, regardless of how it ended. We're here now, after more than a year, being honest and trying to give it a different ending, a good one."**_ She said smiling and then she was the one who took my hands. I looked at her amazed. _**"Darren, you were a very important person to me and I'll never forget the way you made me feel loved for the first time, the way you taught me what being in love is. You made grow up, you made me a stronger person, you were my eyes when I couldn't see, you picked me up when I fell down, you gave me wings when I couldn't fly. You were always there for me; always. For all of that, I'll be eternally grateful to you; for giving me all of your love. I'll keep it always here, right in my heart. For me, you'll always be that tiny and lovely teenage boy who made me see the light when everything was dark, when everything seemed lost. You'll always be, for me, that warm-hearted teenage boy who saved me. Because you really saved me." **_She said with teary voice and eyes, looking into my eyes. I was looking at her feeling very thrilled and I couldn't help shedding some tears. _**"Yes, you said it, you've changed now and I've changed; but I'm sure you're still a warm-hearted guy, you just proved me so. We're not in love anymore and we can't go back in time, but we're full of amazing memories that will never change; and that is what matters." **_She said sweetly and I pursed my lips and nodded while still shedding some tears. She wiped those tears for me and I smiled at her. _**"So it's time for me to say I'm also sorry for saying I hate you. No matter what happened, I'll never be able to hate the person who saved me and gave me my best memories. I was also mad because the truth is..."**_ She said gulping and now a bit ashamed and uncomfortable. I frowned slightly in confusion. _**"The truth is I always thought I wasn't going to feel anything for you again. But I do feel something for you and I didn't like it. I was afraid I could still be in love with you when I thought I was over it." **_She admitted and I looked at her completely astonished. She bit her lips and raised an eyebrow. _**"Yeah, that was the truth."**_

_**"Are you saying that... you might... be still in love... with me?"**_ I asked slowly, frowning, bewildered. I didn't get it, she said she wasn't in love with me and now she was saying this.

_**"No. I mean yes, I thought I might be still in love with you; but I am not. I just did have feelings for you; I do have feelings for you." **_She said and I looked at her really confused. _**"It's not a feeling of being in love; it's a feeling of being with the guy who once meant the world to me. It's like this feeling of joy, of nostalgia, of remembrance. It's like when you're old and you watch your favorite Disney movie of your childhood; it's a similar feeling. I don't want to compare you to a movie, you know, but it's just..."**_ She started rambling nervously and I chuckled softly and held her hands.

_**"Hey, it's okay; I get your point."**_ I said softly and she looked at me and smiled._** "I feel the same way."**_

_**"Well, so that is why I wanted to apologize to you. Because you also didn't deserve to be treated the way I treated you. I was rude and nasty; and I don't like to be like this with you. I don't wanna make you feel bad; I don't wanna see your hurt eyes that looked at me that night. I just want to do the right thing; only that sometimes I don't know what the right thing is, because I wanted to try to be your friend again but I was afraid to let you in too close, because I suspected you felt something more for me and I didn't want to hurt you by telling you I didn't feel the same. So now that you cleared that up it's different. So, thank you and I'm so sorry."**_ She said apologetically looking into my eyes and I smiled kindly at her.

_**"You're forgiven."**_ I said kindly.

_**"Thank you, Dare." **_She said softly and my heart skipped a beat when she called me that way; but now I knew it was because it reminded me to the good memories and not because I was in love with her. _**"And please, believe me; I'm not a nasty person."**_ She said frowning and I giggled softly.

_**"Yes, I know you aren't. Listen, I still like a lot of things about you. So... Now that we were honest with each other and we cleared up everything... What do you say if we really try to start over again?"**_ I proposed looking at her with a friendly smile.

_**"It seems like a good idea."**_ She replied shrugging, smiling back.

_**"So... Friends?"**_ I asked, stretching out my hand, looking fixedly into her eyes, still smiling.

_**"Friends."**_ She said smiling widely, shaking out my hand. It made me feel truly happy again. Yes, damn, this was all I needed.

_**"Can I... hug you?"**_ I asked a bit shyly and she looked at me and let out a soft giggle.

_**"Of course."**_ She replied and she was the one who leaned to hug me warmly.

_**"Thank you, Freckles, for forgiving me and for giving me a chance to make up for my mistakes."**_ I whispered in her ear while still hugging her.

_**"Thank you, Dare, for never giving up and for forcing me to talk to you. We really needed this."**_ She said kindly and then she kissed my cheek.

Her kiss on my cheek felt really nice. I parted and I looked at her with a sweet and happy smile; she smiled back at me. And we stared into each other's eyes for a while, without saying anything at all. Her eyes were bright again and I was feeling really good. Finally we could talk and this was worth it; I was glad that we could be friends. It was good to know she was still going to be part of my life; not only in my memory but also as my friend. I really thought she and I could be good friends; after all, she knew my deepest secrets and I knew hers, and we still had a lot to discover about each other and that was good. Then her phone buzzed and she looked for it as I sat upright on the chair and grabbed my cup of coffee, looking at her happily. She was still smiling, but when she started reading the text message, her smile faded away and she made a worried grimace. She was frowning, pursing her lips and I could sense she was frightened or shocked. She gulped and put her phone aside, looking down. She seemed to be deep in thought, really worried about something. That was weird.

_**"What is wrong, Freckles?"**_ I asked gingerly.


	44. The return

A/N: Hello everybody! Surprise! Early update! How are you doing today? I hope you all are doing completely fine and if not, I'll send a lot of cookies and hot chocolate your way! Okay, let's see... I have a series of announcements to say: 1) I'm very sorry to inform that next week I won't be able to update; it'll be something physically (and mentally) impossible for me to do. I'm having very complicated weeks full of several complicated things. Hopefully everything will return to normal by the end of May. So, next update will be on May 25, one day before my 23th birthday (Huzzah!). I'm so sorry guys, I really am, but I can't make it! Anyway, if I find the time to update next week, I'll do it, only that sadly I won't be able to reply to your reviews. 2) Another bad announcement. I haven't been able to write in the last month, nothing at all. I don't know for how long I won't be able to write; I want to, but I don't have time. So... Sadly, it'll come a point when I won't have chapters to update and this weekly update thing I always wanted to maintain won't be possible. I'm sorry for that too. 3) There isn't another announcement. I'm sorry for the bad news! Now I want to thank you for your continued support and thank you for reading this. Now, back to the story... What to say? You should be ready to read this new chapter! Remember the text message Freckles has received? It's time to figure out what that's about and who is (or who are?) involved! Maybe this isn't a sweet chapter... But it's a chapter (no shit Sherlock!) and I wish you can give me your opinion! Tell me the ugly truth! Well, now in general I want to say that I'm very glad you liked the last chapter, and I hope you enjoy this one too, despite the bad things. Now I promise to shut up and just answer your reviews. Oh! One last thing... I'm kind of sleepy, so you already know... You might read senseless responses.

MeMi83: Memi! I'll give you a clue: Maybe Brian has something to do, but he's not the problem here; it's because something else you'll now find out. Then, thank you so much! I think it was time for them to sit and talk (without yelling!), hopefully this will last for more time now and hopefully this will be like a new chapter of their lives as you said! Thank you for saying I deserve the reviews! And hopefully you can keep enjoying this story! If someday I disappoint you, let me know it and just kick my ass, please! Then, thank you a lot for wishing me luck with my thesis, I really need it because I, like the most stupid person, decided to choose one of the most complicated themes in world! The worst part is that I was free to choose whatever I wanted and for some weird reason I like choosing hard and defiant things to resolve. And Twisted! It'll surely be totally awesome as all the things that the Team StarKid does! I'm eager to watch it on YouTube! So now I'll send you a bottle of green elixir, the Wizard of Oz, and an animal professor!

alicegursk: Yay! I got my blankets! Now I want a fluffy teddy bear so I won't feel so alone! Am I asking too much? They're cute, aren't they? And they will have a lot of more sweet moments... As friends. Maybe, someday in the future, they will be more than that; wouldn't it be nice to see the process in which they are friends and learn how to be friends and then they fall in love again? Maybe I'll be nice and write something about it... Or maybe not. You worry about Brian? But you said it, if he had told Freckles his real feelings for her, things would be more complicated and we don't want that for now, do we? Maybe Freckles would never know his real feelings. You know me Alice, you've read already 42 chapters, do you really think that what Freckles has received isn't something bad? Really? It's not my fault... My evil twin wrote this chapter!

Nicole: Thank you very much my Draco-Nicole! For sure you'll get a lot of more chapters and I hope they can be as totally awesome as the others, in your opinion! You're a very lucky girl and I'm always intrigued to know what your question will be and let me tell you that I did like the question you decided to ask. So my answer to your question is (add sounds of drums)... Okay, wait, stop the sound of drums! I have to answer two things so I'm reformulating my response; okay, now I'm ready. (Sounds of drums) Darren will have a new girlfriend and it'll be a new character. Yes, hopefully this time they will be real friends and will stop with that shit of getting distant, getting closer, being friendly, being cold, kiss, yell, slap, and just things like those. What is their problem? Okay, hopefully this time the talk worked out. The text, oh the text! You were so close with your assumptions; but no, there's something missing; something that you'll FIND out in this next chapter; you'll FIND out if everything is alright or not; maybe you'll FIND it a bit interesting; and maybe at the end of the chapter you'll FIND yourself cursing. I'll FIND out what you think soon. If I FIND you beating up (or playing?) with first years, I'll FIND professor Dumbledore to FIND a punishment for you, you evil Draco-Nicole! Anyway, I'll send you hugs and butterfly kisses!

Emma: Hey Emma! I'm really glad you liked the last chapter! And maybe you're right; maybe Freckles wasn't completely honest, but I think that wasn't her intention; what I think is that Freckles isn't honest with herself, so she cannot tell what her real feelings are, hence why she acted that way when she was with Brian, she acted on instinct and on her subconscious. Then, it really makes me feel good the fact you want to see Darren meeting someone new, because it may or may not happen. I also think that, considering how Freckles and Darren are now, they aren't for each other. I mean, they both have changed so they're not good for each other as before; first they have to get to know each other again and they have to meet new people, fall in love with other people, experience how love affairs with other people feels like, and a lot of more things. I mean, it could be something positive for both of them, so I like your point of view. Did I really write well the things about San Francisco? I must admit that was one of my biggest fears, because obviously I've never been there, so I had to make a sort of a little research about it and I ended up inventing new places that maybe San Francisco could have in the future, haha! And do you really have a place like them? This only makes you be even more like Freckles! It's really great to know you have a place to go and play your guitar and just be alone with your thoughts and all when you're feeling sad or stressed! I guess I've gotta find my own place here too, it'd be something nice, I think. Now, another thing, do not ever think that you bother me when you tell me personal stuff; on the contrary, I love the fact you did it. Oh my wizard god! You got accepted to so many universities! That's completely awesome! And they all are very good universities (for the little I know) and now it's my turn to ask... I think I've never asked you this, but what are you gonna study? And are you also gonna study Drama and musical Theater too? Oh gosh! That's amazing! You'll have to make a big effort, but it'll be worth it. Let me know if they accepted you! I feel proud of you! It's a big deal to have been accepted to so many great universities! And are you gonna see Darren? Ah! You'll have to tell me how it was and tell me everything! I bet it'll be amazing! And one last thing, I was always intrigued to know how Darren's family house looks like, I don't know why, I guess it's only because I'm almost an architect so I'm a freak when it comes to things related to it, haha; would you tell me?

Vcriss: Oh! Channing shirtless was priceless! I watched that movie because a friend (who's completely in love with Channing) recommended it to me. I'll also admit I didn't like Channing by then and I watched the movie only because I like romantic movies (yes, I admit it!); then I really enjoyed the view of Channing shirtless. Yes, I agree, Darren is sexy and dreamy; he's like my type of guys, I guess (though in real life my boyfriend doesn't look like Darren at all). I like a lot of things of Darren, like his smile, eyes, hair (never forget the curly hair), just his face, his whole face; and if we talk about the body and we get a bit undapper, I really like his hipbones and his beer belly, and his ass; don't think I'm a perverted, I just enjoy it, haha. And I also think Darren might be the only guy who looks hot and not gross while sweating, maybe the only one. And well, if Darren and Freckles ever get together again, it won't happen any soon; they first need to experience new things. And now you're about to find out what that text message was about!

zahra auob: Queen of cliffhangers! I really like that nickname! And well, at least it has a good meaning because I guess it's something positive the fact I make you jump in bed when you realize it's Saturday! Your comment honestly made me smile! Yes, it's something sad what Brian is doing, actually I don't think that not telling her his real feelings is something positive, on the contrary, it's something negative that is making him live in torture as you said; but it's his personality, it's his mind and with time you'll find out why Brian is the way he is and why he acts the way he acts; everything has an explanation. Yes! It was time for Darren and Freckles to talk, they really needed to do it in a peaceful way and they needed to be honest with each other; I think this time they could really forgive each other and that's a huge progress for them; hopefully this is gonna last. I think they'll have a great friendship and I think it'll be interesting how they get to know each other again. You're very welcome; whenever you need an advice or you need to talk to someone, you can count on me! I love doing this. Yes, i think it's a good idea to wait until you finish your exams and I think you and your friend who has the same problem decided to take the first (and probably hardest) step to go and talk to that person. You just have to think that one way or another everything will be fine, because even if things don't work out the way you expect, at least you tried and you have to feel proud of it!

Caroline Boeira: I knew you were going to like their talk! That day I was feeling like writing something really sweet and lovely, because after all they're that when they're together (even if in the previous chapters they definitely weren't like that). They're gonna be just friends now... But remember how Darren and Freckles started? They first were friends, then best friends and then they fell in love... What if this story is repeated? Wouldn't it be interesting? But I strongly believe that first they need to experience new things with other people, maybe that way they will find out that they're only meant to be with each other, or maybe not. And yes, Brian loves Freckles and it's very sweet the way he loves her; but Freckles... Does she feel the same way than Brian? I don't think so. So I don't think Freckles belongs to Brian; you already said it. Oh! Do you really wanna know what happened to Freckles? Maybe it's not something that happened to her; maybe it's something that happened to other person or people and maybe it's because of other person, thing or people. Anyway, you'll find it out right in this chapter, then you can tell me what you think!

PotterHead62: Yes! They were like strangers and now they're friends again! And maybe they'll become best friends and maybe they'll fall in love again and maybe... Okay, it wouldn't be nice if they grow apart like the last time. Maybe their teenage love story is gonna be repeated, who knows? I do like happy endings and I do ship Frarren or Deckels as you said (by the way I love the ship names you made up). But I'm an evil and cruel person at the same time (Did I mention I'm bipolar?). So, maybe they won't get back together so easily and so quickly, if not ever. That is because I think they need to meet new people and experience other things with other people to learn new things before they can get together to be together forever and to get a strong bond. So, sadly or not, it won't be soon-ish (ish, ish, ish! Irish! Automatically remembering Darren wearing a gray and green striped Ireland polo shirt and saying 'I'm a hobbit-ish'). Thank you so much for what you said! I tried to make it as sweet and moving as I could; because I wanted to make of it a very important and meaningful talk to them, remembering things of their past. I know if I read it again I'd want to change several things, but for now I'll be content with it! I hope you can keep enjoying this story, despite the maybe terrible thing that is gonna happen now!

Guest: Have you heard it, Darren? Don't screw it up! The same goes for you, Freckles. You better don't screw it up or we all are gonna find you and we all are gonna kick your ass! I guess now that we've warned them so, they won't dare to do anything stupid and they will be good friends and hopefully they'll become best friends. Wouldn't it be great? Yay for happy endings!

amanecerita83: It makes me so happy to hear about you again! Yay! About time! They needed to have this talk and everything would have been much easier and less dramatic if they'd had this talk in the beginning; but I guess they first needed to clear up everything themselves by their own way to finally be able to have an honest talk like that one. They finally agreed to be friends and hopefully this time they won't screw it up! I think they can be really good friends if they don't start doing confusing things and if they start accepting each other the way they are now. I think this clean slate will be something positive for them both. Just let's see what happens to them!

Vicky: Yes, they really needed that talk, in that peaceful and honest way. I think this is a huge progress for them and maybe this time they'll be able to be friends again, for real this time. I think it could be interesting see how they act around each other from now on, now as friends; would they be able to make it? Yes, I think Freckles hurt Brian even more with what she did; but I think that wasn't her intentions, because after all Freckles had no idea of what Brian feels for her, so maybe this is kind of Brian's fault, he's the one who decided to shut up and hide his real feelings, but it's for a reason he does what he does; but yes, Brian is feeling even worse, I guess. Kelly, Kelly, Kelly. Yes, she'll appear again, not so soon, but she will. And yes, she will bring more troubles, but at the same time she won't; she will bring different kind of troubles next time and maybe also some solutions and some answers; surely you can't understand what I'm saying but when the time comes, you'll understand this. I really wanted to write something funny because I've already written so much drama that I thought I could make for it with a little comedy; but since I'm not particularly a very funny person (my jokes suck and are very silly, haha) I only wrote a bit. I thought the argument was funny because those are things that happen when you're living with other person and besides because I really can picture Joey and Darren fooling around with silly things. And Darren dressed up as girl! I laughed when I wrote about it, because it's funny and for some odd reason I can picture Darren doing this kind of stuff, I was actually inspired by three pictures of Darren I've seen. And poor guy! He surely had a trauma after seeing that! haha.

Roula: Yes, you're right about that. Freckles didn't mean to hurt Brian because she wasn't conscious when she said Darren's name; but for sure Brian did feel really bad; we already know he's in love with her so it must something very hard to hear. I'm glad you liked the argument Joey and Darren had! I wanted them to argue but I wanted to make it in a funny way, because those kinds of arguments happen when you're living with other person; besides I wanted to add a little comedy in between all the drama. I hope it worked! Darren dressed up as a girl, I really can picture him doing so, because I was actually someway inspired by some pictures I've seen of him, posing in an effeminate way. I agree they needed that talk; it was time for them to be honest and settle down everything. Now I think they can be good friends and maybe someday they'll become best friends, I can picture that. And do you think the text message has something to do with Brian or Mandy? Oh well, you're very close, but there's something missing, something very important that may change everything and will make things complicated for everybody! What could it be? Oh, you'll find it out in this new chapter! I wish you can enjoy it!

-Okay guys, that was all for today. I hope you can enjoy this early update and I apologize again for not be able to update next week. Hopefully I'll find free time to do it, but I hardly think so! These are crazy times! Well, now I'll let you read this chapter! Are you ready to know what happened? Are you ready to read something that maybe will change things? Did I say I like plot twists? Well... Here you have this chapter to read. In case I can't update next week, I wish you all a totally awesome two weeks full of positive things, good vibes, and a lot of laughs and beautiful things! Warm fuzzies!

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**Teenage Dream – Chapter 44 – The return.**

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_**"Freckles, are you alright?"**_ I asked again, but she didn't reply. She shook her head slowly and then she stood up. _**"What's wrong?"**_ I asked looking at her, she was walking in circles around the table, still concerned and worried.

I stood up and I placed my hands on her shoulders to stop her and to try to reassure her. Anyway, she didn't look at me; she was looking down, frowning with her eyes wide open, disturbed.

_**"Freckles, what's going on?"**_ I asked trying to look into her eyes.

She shook her head again and she walked away, straight to the bedroom. I frowned and I followed her. She was revolving all of the stuff of her closet. I was just looking at her bewildered, not getting why she could be doing that and feeling like that. She finally pulled out a little gray box. She pulled out a key of her pocket and opened the box. Her hands were shaking, she was very edgy. From that box she pulled out like a lot of money. I really didn't understand what was happening. She passed by my side without saying anything at all, walking to the table again. I followed her again. She grabbed her backpack and pulled out her wallet to put all that money there. She put the wallet in her backpack again and she hung it on her shoulder. She was so edgy and that was making me feel worried. Then she finally looked at me and I could see her worried and troubled eyes.

_**"Sorry, I have to go."**_ She said with trembling voice and she walked fast to the door, but I ran behind her and I took her hand.

_**"Hey, wait. What's happening?"**_ I asked worried.

_**"I can't explain right now. I really have to go, sorry."**_ She answered trying to walk to the door again, but I held her hand tighter.

_**"Freckles, I can't let you go like that. You seem to be very edgy and disorientated; what if something happens to you? What's wrong?"**_ I asked trying to look into her eyes. Geez, her hands were shaking too much.

_**"Darren, I really have to go. Let me go!"**_ She said pulling her hand, but I pulled her to me and I placed my hands firmly on her shoulders.

_**"Hey, calm down, Freckles."**_ I said softly.

_**"I won't calm down!"**_ She yelled and I looked at her stunned. When she noticed the way she yelled at me, she looked at me sadly, still nervous. _**"Please, let me go. I really have to go."**_

_**"Then I'm going with you, wherever you have to go. But I won't let you go alone like this."**_ I said roundly, looking into her eyes.

_**"Fine."**_ She replied edgily. _**"You can come, but please, I have to go right now."**_

_**"Okay, I'll just go for my backpack."**_ I said nodding and I quickly walked to where my backpack was. When I turned around, Freckles was already opening the door. _**"Hey, wait for me!"**_ I said loudly when she started to walk outside.

Of course she didn't listen to me; she was like running. Anyway, I ran behind her. What the hell was happening? She seemed to be blind because she was like stumbling over everyone on her way. I ran even faster to reach her, and when I was one step behind her, I placed both of my hands on her waist and I pulled her to me. She looked at me disturbed and frowning.

_**"Slow down, Freckles!"**_ I said a bit exasperated. She tried to keep running but I held her tighter. _**"You won't go anywhere if you don't calm down first. I have no idea what's going on, but you really need to calm down."**_

_**"I can't calm down!" **_She said upset.

_**"But you have to! You're stumbling over everybody!"**_ I said firmly, still holding her by her waist. She only shook her head. _**"Okay, you won't arrive anywhere if you can't calm down because it seems that your nervousness is blinding you; so I'll lead you. Tell me where you have to go."**_

_**"Central Campus."**_ She answered with trembling voice.

_**"Central Campus? What do you have to do there?"**_ I asked very confused.

_**"There's a problem... Brian... Darren, please, do not make me talk right now because I can't even think..." **_She said in a supplicant and desperate way.

_**"Okay, okay, it's okay."**_ I said reassuringly. I stepped beside her and I linked my arm with hers. _**"We'll walk like this. I don't want you to let out my arm at any time under any circumstances. Okay?" **_I asked looking fixedly into her eyes and she just nodded.

We walked in silence because I understood she couldn't talk, she was still very edgy and her body wouldn't stop trembling. She seemed to very dizzy and disorientated, so I had to lead her. I forgot about the course I had to attend because I couldn't leave her go alone to the Central Campus like this. She was trying to run, but I forced her to walk, fast, but walk. She really needed to calm down, whatever it was happening. We took the Bursley-Baits bus and we sat on two empty seats. Freckles sat on the seat right next to the window and she wouldn't stop looking through the window, playing with her fingers, biting her lips and shaking her legs as a sign of nervousness and anxiety. I looked at her fixedly and I placed a hand on her knee. She looked at me and I saw her edgy face.

_**"Calm down, Freckles. We're on our way."**_ I said softly, trying to reassure her.

She only nodded and looked through the window again. What I said didn't help at all, because she was still shaking her legs, playing with her fingers and biting her lips. It was as if she was listening, but not listening to me at all. At one point she stood up abruptly and tried to walk but she couldn't because I was still sitting; so I also stood up thinking that maybe this was the bus stop. I linked my arm with hers before she could start walking fast and we got out the bus. Okay, now I really didn't know where we had to go; but Freckles started walking fast to a certain direction. That was what I thought, but then she started running to other direction, and later then, to another completely different direction. She was lost.

_**"Okay, stop!"**_ I said bossy, forcing her to stop. She tried to keep walking, but I placed my hands firmly on her shoulders. _**"Stop!"**_

_**"We need to go! I think... I think is that way, yes it must be that way."**_ She said with trembling voice, looking to another direction.

_**"Probably it isn't. You're so disorientated."**_ I said looking into her eyes while her eyes were focused on one path.

_**"No..."**_ She said with trembling voice, now looking at other path.

_**"Yes, you are. Just tell me where we're supposed to go and I'll find the way."**_ I said firmly and roundly.

_**"North Quadrangle residential. It's where Brian lives." **_She said nervously and I linked my arm with hers again.

_**"Good, let's go take a look at that map sign."**_ I said while walking her to there. I looked at the map sign and I found where the North Quadrangle residential was. _**"Okay, I found it. Let's go."**_ I said quietly.

I started walking her to the residential, trying to walk slowly and not so fast so maybe she could relax. When she saw the building, she let out my arm and she started running to there; of course I ran after her. She started up the stairs and she was so hasty that she tripped over the steps. I ran to her and I took her hand and placed a hand on her waist to help her to stand up. She didn't say anything and she didn't even stop to see if she had a scratch or not. She tried to keep going up the stairs in the same hasty way; but this time I held her hand tightly and I kinda forced her to slow down. We finally arrived to a neat and elegant corridor and she walked fast until we reached one particular door. So this surely was Brian's room and now I didn't know if I should stay there or not; maybe it wasn't proper, I didn't now. For starters, I let out her hand and she knocked the door obstreperously.

_**"Brian, open the door!"**_ She yelled noisily while still knocking the door.

I was just looking at her frowning, why was she so fucking nervous? It was stressful. I heard steps coming closer and then I heard the keys in the lock to open the door. Freckles pushed the door recklessly, but she still couldn't open it. Brian finally opened the door.

_**"What the hell has happened?"**_ Freckles yelled edgily.

I looked at Brian. He also looked very edgy and frightened; I've never seen him like that, he was the badass guy, or at least that is what he used to be. Now he looked haggard and really, but really frightened and worried. He looked at Freckles nervously but didn't say anything, it seemed he couldn't talk. What the hell was going on? Then he finally shifted his gaze to me. Yet, he didn't say anything. I just looked down, feeling like a bother; I probably shouldn't be there; whatever it was happening, it seemed to be a bad and private thing. Then Brian looked at Freckles again.

_**"He accompanied me because I was too nervous to think and walk over here, because what the hell is happening? What was that thing that someone broke into your room? What's going on?"**_ Freckles yelled edgily.

_**"It's okay; come in, guys. I don't wanna talk about it in here."**_ Brian said with trembling voice, looking round.

Freckles entered the room, but I stayed there; maybe it wasn't proper to get in. What the hell was that thing that someone broke into his room? It was supposed that the residence buildings were safe. Now I could have a slight idea why Freckles was so nervous. Brian looked at me.

_**"Come on; get in, man."**_ He said and I just nodded.

I entered his room shyly and Brian closed the door behind him, locking it with keys. I was looking at the room very shocked. Yes, definitely someone broke into his room. All of his belongings were on the floor, spread everywhere. Most of the things were broken. Lots of furniture like chairs and the couch were broken, the cushions were ripped, the lamps, the dishes and cups, even the glasses of the windows were broken. The table was tumbled on the floor, just as the fridge and the chairs. It also seemed that they tore the pages of all of his books, because there were papers lying on the floor everywhere. Even his laptop was broken. Man, this was a disaster and was kinda scary. What were the chances that someone can break into your room at college? Freckles was looking all around, shocked and really edgy; yes, of course.

_**"Oh my god, how did this happen, Brian?"**_ Freckles asked with trembling voice, looking at Brian really frightened.

_**"I don't know."**_ Brian replied also with trembling voice, shaking his head, looking down and running his fingers through his hair. _**"I was just taking a nap and I woke up and everything was fine. I decided to go to my course and when I came back, I found this."**_ He said nervously, raising his arms and looking round.

_**"Have you called security?"**_ Freckles asked worried.

_**"Yeah, I have."**_ He said sighing and frowning. _**"They told me they didn't see anything suspicious and they will try to find the person who did this, but they're not going to take care of the damage."**_ Brian said sitting on the floor cross-legged, resting his elbow on his thigh and propping his forehead on his hand.

_**"That's absurd."**_ I whispered and Brian and Freckles looked at me. _**"Sorry, I don't want to intrude here, but it's absurd what they've told you. I mean, it's their duty to keep the students safe, just as the safety of the rooms. That's included in the cost of the rooms we have to pay. They must repair the damages caused because it was something external to you. This is about someone who broke into your room."**_ I explained and Freckles nodded in agreement.

_**"Yeah, that's what I said. But they said they have no proofs that someone actually broke in." **_Brian said sighing and frowning.

_**"That they have no proofs?"**_ I asked incredulous, raising my eyebrows. _**"That must be a sort of joke! Man, look at this place, it's pretty obvious that it was what actually happened! What they said is ridiculous! Unbelievable!"**_ I exclaimed sarcastically.

_**"Well yeah, they said that many students break their own things to make it look like a robbery and thus be able to buy new things. They think that is what I did." **_Brian replied, biting his lower lip and looking down.

_**"But you didn't do it! That's the truth!"**_ Freckles exclaimed exasperated.

_**"That's right, you should kind of sue for damages and they'll research it and they'll know it wasn't something you did. That way they could repair the damages and refund what you've lost. I do think that University won't risk its excellent reputation for something like this." **_I added trying to remain calm because both Freckles and Brian were really edgy.

_**"Whether it works or not, I can't do that. You said they have to take responsibility of the security of students and their rooms because it's included in the cost of the room we have to pay."**_ Brian said looking away, staring blankly.

_**"Yeah... It's like that."**_ I replied frowning because I couldn't get his point.

_**"Well, so that will never happen because the rent of the last two months wasn't paid."**_ He said uncomfortably, looking away.

_**"Well, but you're still in time to pay; and you can demand what the contract says."**_ I said quietly.

Brian looked at me furtively and then he looked down, apparently sadly. He bit his lower lip, clenched his jaw and frowned slightly. He seemed to be very uncomfortable. That was a really weird reaction, did I say something wrong? Then I looked at Freckles. She was also looking down and pursing her lips, but she was raising her eyebrows. Well, definitely I said something wrong and I screwed it. But what? Sometimes I should just learn how to shut the fuck up when it was none of my business.

_**"I don't get it, you sent me that text message telling me you've got a written notice saying you must move out besides this what happened. I thought your ex roommate has paid the rent before he left?"**_ Freckles suddenly said.

I looked at her stunned, and then I looked at Brian who was still looking down and frowning. That was terrible, how would they evict a student? Why would happen the break in? There were still things I couldn't understand. Why wouldn't Brian just pay the rent that wasn't paid? That was all he had to do.

_**"Well, it seems he hasn't paid anything since I couldn't afford paying my part. He never told me."**_ Brian replied while rubbing his face with his hands, as though he was really troubled.

What was that thing he couldn't afford paying his part? Did he have economic troubles? It was weird because he seemed to be the guy who had good economic position.

_**"Don't worry about that, Brian. I've brought the enough money to pay the rents you owe. They won't evict you."**_ Freckles said softly, walking to him.

She squatted in front of him and placed her hands on his shoulders, reassuringly. I was just observing them. So that was why Freckles took all that money; for Brian; apparently because Brian didn't have the money to pay the rent. Why, though? I couldn't get what was going on and I felt like an intruder.

_**"No, I don't want you to do that." **_Brian said looking at her straight in her eyes.

His voice cracked when he said that and I frowned in confusion. Was Brian about to cry? This was super weird. Again, I was still thinking he was the badass guy, the strong one; and it was weird to see him so vulnerable with that huge and muscular body he had. I've never seen him like this.

_**"I don't know for how long I'll be in this situation and I can't allow you to do it until things get right again. Because I don't know how long it'll take. And my degrees aren't so good lately, so I cannot ask for a better scholarship; and I still couldn't find a damn job and I don't even know if I'll get one. And now all of this happened and all of my things are broken and I can't buy new ones; and my dad still couldn't find a job and his health is getting worse and worse and... Damn! I just can't afford being here."**_ Brian exclaimed exasperated with chocked voice. Yet he wasn't crying, even if his eyes were teary. _**"And the person who broke into here stole me all the money I've been saving for my dad's drugs. Everything! They took everything!" **_He said finally breaking into tears.

Oh, whoa. I wasn't expecting to hear something like this. So maybe these were the serious troubles Brian was having that Meredith mentioned me. What I was assuming was that Brian had economic troubles; he didn't have money, he couldn't get a job, he couldn't pay the rent and he couldn't afford buying new things; to make things worse, now the person who broke into his room broke all of his belongings, like literally everything. They told him they weren't going to refund anything and they weren't going to repair the damages that the robber caused; so he was the only one who had to repair everything, but he couldn't do it. He received an eviction written notice because he couldn't pay the rent of the room; but he couldn't pay it now because he didn't have such money. Not only that, but apparently his father didn't have a job and he was sick. His father was sick? What could be? Surely it was a serious illness, because he has been saving money for his father's drugs. And the robber stole all of that money. And he said he couldn't be here anymore? What did he mean? Attending this University? Oh crap. This was indeed a terrible thing, so it was completely understandable he was now crying. How can so many things happen to only one person? I felt kinda bad for him, and I was also very astonished. I saw how Brian bent his legs, wrapping his arms around them and burying his head on his knees. He didn't look like the Brian I used to know.

_**"What, Brian?"**_ Freckles asked gingerly with trembling voice, really worried and frightened.

_**"They took it all! I have nothing left. I can't keep attending college, I have to come back to San Francisco and see what I can do there; I don't know if there I'm gonna find a job but at least I'm gonna be with my dad." **_Brian said still sobbing.

It was hard to hear what he was saying because he was still burying his face on his knees. Man, that was super dreadful; I was in shock. I couldn't believe this; I never thought, when Meredith mentioned he was having serious troubles, it could be something like this. Freckles had teary eyes, but she closed her eyes for a while, took a deep breath and then looked at Brian firmly. He wasn't looking at her, so she placed both of her hands on his cheeks and made him look at her. He finally looked at her and I could see his swollen eyes full of tears. Wow, that wasn't good to see at all; it was weird and completely sad.

_**"Brian Thomas Clerk, listen to me."**_ Freckles said firmly, looking deeply into his eyes. _**"I won't let you drop-out college; we've talked about this already. Yes, it's terrible all that is happening, but you've got friends who are gonna help you to go through this. You've got me, and I'm gonna pay the rent as we agreed, we agreed that, Brian!"**_ Freckles exclaimed frowning and Brian sighed and looked away, sadly. _**"And if they took all the money you've been saving for your dad's drugs, then I'll get that money and I'll pay it and I'll also pay for someone who can take care of your dad."**_ Freckles said making him look at her again. I was just observing them, feeling bad. _**"But you're not gonna drop-out college, because I won't allow it. And you know how stubborn and irritating I can be when I propose myself something." **_She said laughing softly as her eyes filled with tears and Brian smiled faintly, still sobbing. _**"So you'll stay here until the day of your graduation. I wanna look at you and say, hello D. Lit. Clerk who has a degree in English Language and Literature. I want to see that day and your dad also wants to witness the moment his little son graduates; feeling prouder than any other father, because his son could make it in the hardest times and never gave up. Because his son, being so young, could graduate and could take care of him all this time; because he got the strength to see the sun when everything was cloudy. This is what we all want for you, Brian Thomas Clerk, so you won't drop-out so easily; no while I'm still here and I have the chance to help you."**_

When Freckles finished saying this, she was shedding tears. Brian made a muffled sound while looking at her and crying; and then he buried his head on her shoulder and wrapped his arms around her as Freckles pulled him into a warm hug. I was standing there, observing them and feeling thrilled. What Freckles said was completely beautiful and surely it helped him to feel a little better. It was still weird for me the way they were like really close friends. Surely their friendship grew when I was absent. Geez, why was I feeling like this? This shouldn't affect me too much, I barely knew Brian; but the way he was acting was really heartbreaking and I couldn't see him like a badass anymore; I was just seeing him as a young guy going through a real shitty moment. I wished I could help too, somehow. I don't know why I wished that; I just wished that. Okay, now I was feeling a bit uncomfortable; I shouldn't be there. I was like a bother, an intruder; I don't know... This was something that they should have talked alone and not in front of me; maybe they forgot about me, I didn't know.

_**"Thank you, Sunny. I don't know what I'd do if..."**_ Brian started saying with teary voice.

_**"Shh, don't thank me anything, Bri. I know you'd have done the same for me."**_ Freckles said sweetly and then she kissed his cheek.

When she did that, I looked away because I felt uncomfortable. Man, I shouldn't be here. When I looked away, something caught my attention. Under a ripped cushion I could see a red paper. It was a note. I walked to there and I squatted to grab and read it. When I read it I felt really in shock. Oh, no, crap. No, no, no.

_**"Uh... Guys?"**_ I started saying with trembling voice. _**"Sorry to interrupt, but... But here's something you might want to read."**_

* * *

You couldn't stop feeling bad for Brian. It was really unfair that a lot of bad things were happening to him: the economic troubles, the illness of his dad, the fact he wasn't with any girl for more than a year, the ex-roommate who betrayed him, the eviction written notice; the person who broke into his room, destroyed everything and stole the money for his dad's drugs. He was emotionally broken and you could notice it in his appearance too: he was lately crying a lot when before he never cried in front of people, he was haggard, he had dark circles and swollen eyes, he barely talked and smiled, he was tired pretty much all the time, his degrees weren't as flawless as before, he was worried all the time about his dad and he wasn't just living his life. He was taking so many responsibilities by his own. And he was too young to be suffering it all. Damn. You wanted to help your best friend to go through this shit just as the same way he helped you out after Darren disappeared and you were broken. He was the main reason of why you could be happy now, and you wanted to do the same with him. You just couldn't endure seeing him so devastated. You were hugging him tightly to try to reassure him while he was, again, crying on your shoulder. Brian, please, you need to smile again; you thought in your mind. And Darren interrupted you; you forgot he was there.

_**"Uh... Guys?"**_ Darren said with trembling voice. _**"Sorry to interrupt, but... But here's something you might want to read."**_

You broke the hug and both you and Brian looked at him frowning slightly. Brian, fortunately, didn't seem to mind Darren was there. You looked at Darren again, he seemed to be astonished. Why? And he was grabbing a red paper. He walked over to where you and Brian were and he handed the note. You took it and started reading it loudly.

**"Stop messing and stirring up the past, Clerk. This you're seeing right now? This is just the beginning if you don't stop sticking your ass in things that are none of your business. A little warning: Next time I'll break into your room while you're inside and I'll shoot you. And I won't shoot only you; I'll shoot them too, you know who. I have you in my sights, Clerk. Let's call this the return of W."**

You finished reading the note and you felt really astonished and disgusted; maybe also a bit scared; but mostly angry. How was this possible? How the hell has W found Brian and you? And why to put W if you already knew it was Karen or probably Jim? Why would they keep messing your lives? That happened in high school, you weren't teenagers anymore; it was supposed you all were mature people now. That was in the past, dammit! That stage of your life was over. It couldn't happen again; you couldn't let it happen again. You were very angry. You definitely were going to find Karen or Jim or whoever that person was to face them and show them what kind of person you were now; you were going to show them that they weren't going to mess with you and less with your friends. You bit your lips and you crumpled and tossed the note in anger. Then you looked at Brian. He was looking down with a frightened and shocked face; he was very worried and you could understand; the note was directed to him after all. You looked at Darren furtively; he was looking at the crumpled paper, bewildered. When you looked at Brian again, he had the same face. This was your fault. You were the one who forced Brian to investigate about the truth of what Darren did that night in the hotel room; this all was surely because of that; because of that stupid thing. So you were feeling very guilty; Brian lost everything because of your fault.

_**"I'm so sorry, Brian."**_ You said almost in a whisper. Brian finally looked at you, frowning slightly. _**"I know this was my fault."**_

_**"No, it wasn't."**_ Brian answered and looked away.

_**"Yes, it was and you know why."**_ You said firmly, still feeling guilty. _**"But I swear I'm gonna find them and I'll show..."**_

_**"Stop, Sunny. You won't do any of that."**_ Brian interrupted you. _**"Look around; look what they've done. You're not dealing precisely with nice people. If there is someone who has to do something, that's me. The note was for me, not for you. So you won't do anything; and if by chance I find out you're trying to do something, I'll be really mad at you. I'm completely serious about this."**_ Brian said roundly, looking at you fixedly.

_**"Well, the note was for you, but it involved me. I'm sorry, Brian, you can get mad at me, but I won't stay idly." **_You answered determined.

_**"You won't do anything."**_ Brian said severely, still looking at you fixedly. _**"Listen, I know you're trying to help and all. But this time you will stay out of this. I'm talking in all seriousness. If I find out you're trying to find them or trying to do something about, I won't talk to you again. I swear."**_

_**"Why are you being like this?"**_ You asked in disbelief, looking at him a bit upset, frowning.

_**"Because this is about me, not you!"**_ Brian replied yelling and then he sighed. _**"I won't let them hurt you again. So please, if you want to help me, stay out of this. Please."**_ He said softening his voice.

_**"I'm so sorry, Brian. But I won't stay out of this; I won't let you carry all of this by your own."**_ You said resolutely.

_**"Sorry to interrupt." **_Darren finally spoke. You looked at him frowning and so did Brian. _**"But I think Freckles is right."**_ He said and you looked at him astonished, but then you nodded and looked at Brian. Brian was looking at Darren very serious and still frowning. _**"Maybe this is about you now; but remember that W started with Freckles, and then with me and Jen. Not to sound nosy, but I think Freckles can't stay out of this, because we're talking about W; so actually it is something of her business. And this is my business too. Even if now they didn't mention me nor Freckles and even if I can't understand why W would appear now; we're involved. Not for nothing the person used the pseudonym of W and not for nothing mentioned something about stirring up the past. So yeah..." **_Darren said a bit uncomfortable, scratching the nape of his neck because Brian was looking at him a bit annoyed that it was a bit scary.

_**"Darren is right. That's exactly what I think."**_ You said quickly.

_**"I don't care what you guys think. W was part of your past, not your present."**_ Brian said looking fixedly at Darren, raising an eyebrow. Then he looked at you. _**"You better stay out. I'm not gonna say anything else."**_ Brian said severely and he stood up.

_**"Why are you like this, Brian?"**_ You asked loudly, also standing up and looking at him incredulous. _**"Why are you refusing our help? Why?"**_

_**"Because I don't want more help! I don't want any help! I'm tired of people helping me all the time, trying to fix my troubles! It is my responsibility, not anybody else's! I'm tired of people having to suffer and deal with my troubles, I should be the only one suffering and dealing with all the shit!"**_ Brian yelled with cracked voice and you looked at him sadly. _**"And there you are again, feeling pity for me! Ugh! I hate that!"**_ He yelled and walked to his bedroom, banging the door behind him.

You looked at the direction in which Brian disappeared and then you looked down, biting your lips. You were feeling really bad for him, but you didn't want to feel pity for him. You just wanted to help him because he was your best friend and you loved him; you wanted to help him because he helped you when you were feeling terrible because of W and Darren. So you knew how to help him because you've been there, but he was reluctant to any kind of help; because he was surely feeling as though he didn't deserve any help. You knew that because that was exactly how you felt when the thing of W started happened and Darren and Jen tried to help you. But he did deserve help and he did need it. He needed it, no matter how much he tried to deny it; everybody needs someone sometimes, at least to lean on.

_**"Give him time. He just reacted like that because of all that happened."**_ Darren suddenly said, stepping closer to you. You looked at him serious and then looked down again.

_**"You don't know all that is happening and you don't know him."**_ You answered coldly. You didn't mean to be rude to him; it was just that you were worried about Brian.

_**"Umm, yeah. You're right about that."**_ Darren answered in a whisper, looking down and putting his hands on the pockets of his jeans. _**"But I guess at least I know the feeling about receiving a threat and you know it too. Remember in high school how reluctant you were when I was trying to help you. He's feeling the same. And at the end you let me help you; so I think he's gonna let you help him."**_

_**"I hope so..." **_You said sighing. _**"I can't believe W is back." **_

_**"Me either."**_ Darren whispered. You knew he was confused and you knew he could be expecting any kind of explanation, but you didn't want to talk about it. _**"Hey, listen, Freckles... I don't know what's going on and I don't wanna force you to tell me anything. But..." **_Darren said and he looked at you as you looked at him frowning. _**"I think it's not safe if you or he stay here. That person who broke in here surely knows the way to do it without being noticed. So that person could come here whenever decides and can do something really bad to you or him. Maybe you should spend the night in any other place, not here."**_

_**"I haven't thought about it."**_ You said frowning, thoughtful. _**"You're right."**_ You said looking at Darren but he was looking down and nodding. _**"I don't know... Meredith wouldn't feel comfortable with Brian around; she doesn't know him so well. And I don't even know if Brian would want it; he surely wouldn't feel comfortable either." **_

_**"Well, I could talk to Meredith asking her if it is okay if she stays at my room this night, so you and Brian can stay at your old room... Either that or Brian can stay at my room; Joey wouldn't mind."**_ Darren said shrugging, still looking down.

_**"Would you do that?"**_ You asked looking at him. It was very nice from him to do something like this.

_**"Yeah, why not?" **_He replied finally looking at you. You smiled at him and he smiled faintly at you.

_**"Thank you."**_ You said still smiling and you held his hand to show him your gratitude. He smiled faintly again but this time he just looked at your hand. _**"I think the best is if you call Meredith and ask her if she can stay at your room, only for tonight. You guys are friends and I know Brian wouldn't like the idea of spending the night at your room. Not for a specific reason, only that you don't know each other so well; and maybe Brian needs me in this moment."**_ You said softly, letting out his hand.

_**"Yeah, I get it. Well, I will call her now... You could go there and try to talk to him." **_Darren said stepping away, looking for his phone in his backpack.

_**"Yes, thanks."**_ You said smiling, and he only nodded. There was something weird about him. _**"Are you okay?" **_

_**"Yeah, I am."**_ He answered, still looking for his phone. He lied; you knew it.

_**"Alright..."**_ You answered, pursing your lips. You started walking to Brian's bedroom, but then you stopped and turned around to look at Darren again. _**"Darren?"**_ You said and he looked up.

_**"Yeah?"**_ He asked still looking at you.

_**"Thank you, for everything. For leading me here, I don't know how I'd have got it without your help; for trying to fix things when I was too nervous to talk, even if you didn't know what was happening; for supporting me when Brian was saying I should stay out of this and mostly because of this, for offering your help even if you don't have to. So, thanks."**_ You said smiling at him.

_**"You're welcome."**_ Darren said nodding and then he kept looking for his phone.

_**"Are you sure you're okay?"**_ You asked frowning.

_**"Yes."**_ He answered, finally pulling out his phone. He lied again.

_**"Alright... I won't take so long."**_ You answered softly.

_**"Oh, it's okay. Take all the time you need, I have nothing to do..."**_ Darren answered and he started dialing Meredith's number.

You finally walked to Brian's bedroom and when you entered it, he was lying on the floor because even his bed was broken. All the bedroom was a real mess: his clothes were dispersed everywhere and many of them were torn; one of the mattresses was torn and the other bed was completely destroyed; the pillows were also torn and the stuffing was scattered everywhere; the blankets were threadbare; you could see the box in which he probably saved the money, there was only a bogus dollar; and the photo of him and his dad that was on his nightstand was on the floor and the picture frame was shattered. You walked to him slowly and sat next to him. He was staring blankly at the ceiling, shedding some tears in silence. You just leaned and kissed his forehead as he closed his eyes. Then you placed his head on your lap and you started caressing smoothly his hair, to try to reassure him; he buried his head on your stomach.

_**"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to yell at you. I'm just a mess, but it'll pass. I'm sorry."**_ Brian said with muffled voice.

_**"It's okay, Bri. I got your back."**_ You said softly._** "Everything will be alright soon, you'll see." **_

_**"I know, I know..."**_ He said with the same muffled voice and he didn't sound convincing.

_**"It was Jim, wasn't him?"**_ You asked, feeling guilt gnawing inside you.

_**"I don't know, Sunny."**_ He replied in a whisper.

_**"Have you been investigating what I asked you about Darren?"**_ You asked.

_**"Yeah..."**_ Brian answered. _**"But do not think this is your fault, because it isn't. I haven't even talked to Jim; I couldn't find him or Karen."**_

_**"But they've done this because they found out you were trying to get information about what happened that day. They knew it. How?"**_ You asked really confused.

_**"Sunny, I really don't know. All I've been doing was search the Internet. And I've talked to Susan, but she couldn't have done this, she's not even in the States. And I've been careful and discrete; I haven't asked anything in a direct way. I really have no idea how they found it out and how they managed to break into here; none of them are attending this University. I don't understand."**_ Brian explained frustrated and still worried.

_**"I'm sorry, Brian, I should have never asked you to do it. It was something stupid and I'm so sorry."**_ You apologized feeling very guilty, seeing again how they destroyed all the few things Brian had.

_**"Don't be sorry, this is not your fault. You've been helping me all this time, you shouldn't be sorry. I don't wanna hear you saying that you're sorry again, please. Promise me."**_ Brian implored.

_**"Okay, I promise."**_ You said, but still feeling guilty. _**"I'll pack some of your stuff now."**_ You said placing your hands on his head to try to stand up. It wasn't necessary because Brian sat and looked at you frowning.

_**"What? Why?"**_ He asked.

_**"Well, because you're gonna come with me and we'll spend the night at my old room."**_ You started explaining. _**"And don't worry, because Darren is talking to Meredith to ask her to spend the night at his place." **_

_**"Why would he do that? And why would we go to your old room?"**_ Brian asked frowning; you knew he wouldn't like the idea.

_**"Because it's not safe being here right now, Brian. The best is if we go somewhere else, just in case they break in again. I knew you wouldn't feel comfortable with Meredith around because you don't know her so well and maybe she wouldn't feel comfortable either; so Darren offered to give her room." **_You explained and Brian was looking away, shaking his head.

_**"No, I don't wanna cause more troubles. I don't wanna be the bothersome guy."**_ Brian refused strongly. Oh damn, why did he have to make this harder?

_**"It's not a trouble and you're not a bothersome, Brian. Come on, you'll do it because I'm forcing you."**_ You said firmly, finally standing up.

_**"No."**_ Brian refused again.

_**"Excuse me, guys..." **_You suddenly heard Darren's voice saying shyly from the door. He was looking all around astonished. _**"Umm... I've talked to Meredith... Everything is fine, she's gonna stay at my room as long as you guys need." **_

_**"I truly appreciate all you're doing, man; but I won't go anywhere."**_ Brian said roundly and Darren looked at you frowning, as searching some help. He didn't know what to say and surely he was also feeling like a meddlesome.

_**"Shut up, Brian and help me to pack your stuff."**_ You said bossy, grabbing some of his clothes. _**"Darren, can you help me?" **_You asked but Darren didn't move. Surely he didn't know if that was proper to do.

_**"Stop, Sunny! Darren has nothing to do with this and I shouldn't be a bother to him too; he doesn't have to deal with this shit. Stop this; don't make me feel more abashed than I already am."**_ Brian said upset, clenching his jaw. He meant to say it low so only you could hear; but he failed.

_**"Hey man, you're not a bother. Really."**_ Darren said looking at Brian as Brian looked at him frowning. You just smiled at Darren; he was really helping a lot. _**"I know we aren't even friends, but this could never be a bother to me and I'm glad I can be useful for something."**_

_**"It shouldn't be like that, you don't even like me. You don't have to do this."**_ Brian said now looking away, feeling embarrassed.

_**"Hey, man, that was in high school! We should leave it behind because everything is different now, we all have changed. I don't know you, but you seem to be a cool guy; so don't think you're a bother, dude." **_Darren said in a nice way and you smiled at him again.

_**"Thanks, man. But..."**_ Brian said and then he looked at you severely. _**"I don't wanna cause troubles."**_

_**"What? It's not a trouble. Darren even offered you could stay at his room, he offered it and I didn't even propose it; so it's not a trouble, Brian."**_ You said defensively and Brian looked at Darren frowning. Darren just nodded in agreement.

_**"Yeah, whatever you prefer to do, it's not a problem. But Freckles said that probably the best would be if you stay with her because you could feel uncomfortable staying at my room. So yeah, I get it."**_ Darren said nodding and shrugging.

_**"Why are you even doing this?"**_ Brian asked looking at Darren frowning and confused. Darren looked down and raised his eyebrows. Surely Brian's question made him feel uncomfortable.

_**"I don't know."**_ Darren answered shrugging. _**"It's what I would do if something like this happens to someone I know, even if we aren't close; I guess." **_

_**"You don't have to do this, you know that right? And if she forced you, you shouldn't listen." **_Brian said pointing at you and you rolled your eyes.

_**"She didn't force me, seriously. And I know I don't have to do this, but I want to. I don't know, man. I'm just trying to be nice, my mom taught me that."**_ Darren said with a slight smile, apparently trying to break the fraught situation. Well, at least it made Brian let out a short giggle. Darren looked at you furtively and you took advantage to mutter him a thanks; he just nodded.

_**"Thanks, man, really."**_ Brian said thankful, nodding.

_**"There's nothing to thank." **_Darren said politely. _**"So... Do you need my help to pack some things?"**_

_**"Yes, please."**_ You answered quickly before Brian could refuse again.

_**"Okay, fine. But only for tonight."**_ Brian said standing up and you looked at him surprised, raising your eyebrows.

How was that even possible? You tried to convince him all this time and then Darren comes, says a few words and Brian accepts. That was weird, but good. Well, you were very grateful to Darren. And you just couldn't believe how nice he acted, even if he didn't know Brian at all, even if they didn't have precisely the best relationship in high school. He was just really nice, even though he could have stayed out of all of this. You were surprised, this was something good. Hopefully Darren and Brian could get along now; that would be great for you.

* * *

We were already in Freckles' old room and I was helping them to unpack Brian's things. We all were silent and I was still feeling as if I shouldn't be there, but I needed to talk to Freckles. When Brian was folding his clothes and putting them on the closet; I took advantage to walk to Freckles. It was now or never.

_**"Freckles? Can we talk?"**_ I asked almost in a whisper. I didn't want Brian to hear.

_**"Right now?"**_ Freckles asked frowning, making the bed for Brian.

_**"Yeah, right now."**_ I replied.

_**"I don't think we could talk right now. Cannot you wait till tomorrow?"**_ Freckles asked and I sighed, looking down.

_**"Yeah, whatever."**_ I replied feeling discontented with her answer.

_**"Good."**_ Freckles said distracted.

_**"I'm going to push off now..."**_ I said in a whisper, placing my hands on the pockets of my jeans, pursing my lips. _**"I hope you guys can have a good night. If you need something, just call me."**_ I said now loudly, so Brian could hear. He turned around and nodded.

_**"Bye, Darren. And thanks." **_Freckles greeted only waving her hand and smiling slightly. I just nodded, biting my lips and looking around and then I turned to leave, feeling disgruntled.

_**"Hey, hold on, man."**_ Brian suddenly said and I turned around to look at him. _**"I'll take a shower if that is okay, so you guys can talk now if you want." **_He said grabbing a towel and I looked at him amazed. So he heard me. Freckles looked at him very serious, but Brian wasn't looking at her.

_**"Umm, I don't know. It's up to Freckles."**_ I said looking fixedly at Freckles who was now looking down and pursing her lips.

_**"Okay, fine."**_ Freckles said sighing.

_**"Cool."**_ Brian said and he walked to me and stretched his hand and I shook it. _**"Thank you, man. I hope you have a good night." **_Brian said politely.

_**"You too. And thanks..."**_ I replied looking furtively at Freckles, as letting him know why I was thankful. Brian let out a short chuckle and nodded. _**"See you tomorrow, I guess." **_

_**"Yeah, see you."**_ Brian said and walked to the bathroom. Once he wasn't in the room, Freckles looked at me, serious.

_**"So, what do you want to talk about?" **_She asked intrigued.

_**"Can we go for a walk?" **_I asked and she raised her eyebrows.

_**"I thought you wanted to talk not to walk**_." She said.

_**"Yes, and I want to talk; but not here."**_ I said in a whisper, a bit uncomfortable.

_**"Alright, just let me look for a coat."**_ Freckles said walking to her closet.

I waited silently until she grabbed the coat and put it on, then we walked outside the building also silently. It was almost fall, so at nights it was kinda cold and I didn't have any coat, but it was okay; I just wanted to talk to her. I walked to a bench and I looked at her.

_**"What if we sit over here?"**_ I asked and she just nodded.

I was the first who sat and right after she sat next to me, with her legs crossed and wrapping her arms around herself, just looking blankly at the horizon. I just sat placing my forearms on my thighs and clasping my hands together, also looking at nothing in particular. I knew she wasn't going to start talking, so I took a deep breath before starting.

_**"What's going on?"**_ I asked turning my head to look at her.

_**"I don't know."**_ She answered still with her gaze blankly at the horizon. I nodded pursing my lips and I turned my head again to look ahead.

_**"You know, Freckles? I can be a total idiot, but I'm not a fool."**_ I said raising an eyebrow, still looking ahead.

_**"I don't think you're a fool."**_ She said obfuscated, now feeling her gaze on me, yet I didn't look at her.

_**"Listen, Freckles, I tried to avoid talking about this in front of Brian because it wasn't proper in that moment; but now we're alone so you should be honest with me. I know this that happened wasn't pure coincidence."**_ I said firmly looking away, but when I finished I looked at her. She was looking at me frowning and disturbed. _**"And I know your facial expressions very well, so you just proved me that you have at least the slightest idea of what is happening. Why don't you just tell me? I think I deserve to know."**_ I said looking fixedly at her and she drifted her gaze, biting his lips; yet, I kept looking at her fixedly.

_**"I don't know why you deserve to know; I mean, I'm very thankful for your help and support; but this is something private about Brian."**_ Freckles said roundly, frowning.

_**"You've always underestimated my logical capacity, haven't you?"**_ I looked at her curiously and deeply into her eyes, with an almost cocky smile.

_**"Not at all."**_ She answered curtly, looking away.

_**"Well, it just seems like that."**_ I said raising an eyebrow and shrugging. _**"And if you hadn't underestimated it, you'd have realized that I do think, and I'm almost sure, that this doesn't have to do only with Brian. Yes, he's taking the hardest part, but there are more people involved. I know it."**_ I said looking at her again, with a proud look.

_**"It's not like that. Maybe your logical capacity isn't so good after all."**_ Freckles answered coldly, raising an eyebrow and looking away.

_**"Yeah? You sure about that? I'll prove you wrong and I'll tell you the theories and conclusions I've come up to by simply observing the situation today." **_I said challenging, looking fixedly at her. Now she looked at me intrigued and defiant, expectant to hear what I had to say. _**"Brian is in troubles."**_

_**"No shit Sherlock."**_ Freckles said sarcastically and mockingly, raising her eyebrows.

_**"Fuck you Watson."**_ I said trying to joke and she let out a short giggle, then I got serious again. _**"He has economic troubles, really serious ones. And he has these economic troubles because his father recently lost his job because he is apparently sick and it seems to be a serious illness. Brian doesn't have money to pay the rent of a room and he cannot afford the cost of University, which is very expensive. His current scholarship isn't enough for him but he cannot ask for a better one because his degrees aren't as good as before; probably because he can't focus on his studying because of all the troubles he is dealing with."**_ I started explaining very confident and Freckles was looking at me very intently, nodding slightly. So I knew I was right about that and I wanted to see what she would think about all I had to say; so I kept talking. _**"He feels guilty and frustrated because he cannot even find a part-time job in here, because his father is sick and he cannot be there for him, because he cannot pay the drugs for his father that surely needs. For all of that he feels frustrated, sad and guilty; but he turns those feelings into anger and stubbornness, because he is a mess and he feels ashamed for feeling that way."**_ I explained what I was thinking and Freckles only raised her eyebrows in surprise. It only meant that probably I was right again. _**"Besides, there's the fact that he doesn't feel comfortable with people constantly trying to help him out; because he feels he has to do everything by his own because it's not fair that people are suffering the consequences of his troubles; because it humiliates him and makes him feel embarrassed, because he surely thinks that his role is to be the strong guy and he cannot show his weakness in front of people; because he is a guy and guys don't cry, even if that is a big damn lie."**_ I said raising an eyebrow, being completely subjective now, so I was aware that what I said may or may not be in fact like that. But Freckles, again, looked at me raising her eyebrows, apparently amazed. _**"But oh no, it wasn't enough all that was happening to him; so to make it worse, his ex-roommate decided to be a real asshole leaving him alone with his troubles, being so asshole that hasn't even had the decency to let Brian know that he hasn't paid the rent of the room, for that Brian received an eviction written note; and Brian has no way to pay it and you offered him help; but he has serious troubles to accept it because it shouldn't be like that, because he feels like a loser who has absolutely nothing. So he also has to deal with that."**_ I kept saying and Freckles was now looking down, frowning and thoughtful, bewildered. _**"And then someone breaks into his room and destroys absolutely everything of the few things he has; no one believes him that he didn't do it. And we both know how it feels when no one believes you, the horrible feeling of trying to understand why it is like that, the horrible feeling of thinking that maybe you aren't worthwhile to people, that maybe no one cares about you. But he hides all of those feelings, because it mortifies him and people shouldn't know."**_ I said now looking down and frowning slightly, remembering that feeling I didn't want to feel again. When I looked at Freckles again, she was also looking down with a sad expression. _**"Not only that but the person who broke into his room, stole him all the money he has saved. He's been saving money for so long and it wasn't even for himself; it was for his father, for his father's drugs. I don't know what kind of illness his father has, but it must be a serious one to have been saving so much money; and, judging by Brian's desperation, his father really needs the drugs as if it was a matter of life or death; as if he needed the money to save his father. So imagine the desperation, the heartache, the fear and the mess he was feeling when he found out that there was nothing left. And yet, he had to pretend he was fine not to worry you. So he holds back his tears, takes a deep breath, swallows his pain and draws a smile on his face to pretend he is fine not to make people feel worried; but if you take a look in his eyes, you'll see the repressed misery he is feeling; and if you get to know all he has been through, you'll completely understand it. How hard was it for him?"**_ I said now feeling really bad for Brian.

I haven't thought about it, I just found it out when I was saying that. Whoa, that was really terrible. I looked at Freckles. She was looking down, shedding some tears in silence, frowning with a really distressed expression. Surely she also thought so well about this. I moved closer and I wrapped an arm around her to try to comfort her.

_**"Idiopathic Parkinson's disease with multiple system degeneration; advanced and getting worse. The doctors said that the drugs are barely having effect and the drugs are very expensive. And if he keeps getting worse he'll need a deep brain stimulation surgery, which is extremely expensive."**_ Freckles said in a whisper while still shedding tears.

I looked at her terrified and I closed my eyes for a while, biting my lips. Shit, that was worse than what I've imagined. I was aware there was no Parkinson's disease cure; it only could be treated; so Brian would have to deal with the costs of treatments, drugs, surgeries and rehabilitation hereafter. I really didn't know what to say, I always sucked at this.

_**"That is terrible."**_ I said in a whisper like a fool; it only made it worse because Freckles was now crying harder. _**"But hey, it'll be okay. I know Brian will find the way to get the money back for his father's drugs; and he has you. And well, I could help too; I have my very own savings and if Brian needs the money, I'd be glad to destine it on a good cause like this. There are lots of ways to raise money, I could go to a venue and sing few songs, we could perform a play, we can start selling food or you could start selling some of your artworks, and a lot of more things. And I'm pretty sure that my friends will be willing to help too. It'll take a while, but we'll get that money back, so don't worry, Freckles."**_ I said softly, rubbing my hand on her back, seeing how she was still crying in silence.

Then she looked at me and smiled sadly before pulling me into a hug. I was surprised at first because she did it in an abrupt way, but then I held her in my arms, rubbing her back to comfort her as she was crying on my shoulder. I could finally understood what Meredith tried to say when she mentioned that Freckles wasn't going through a good moment: Her best friend was having really terrible troubles and she was feeling like she couldn't do so much to help him as she wanted. And Freckles was always like this, very caring with the people she loved; she could really be into other people's feelings.

_**"Thank you, Dare! You don't have to do all of this and this is so nice from you. Thank you a lot for caring. Thank you."**_ Freckles said with choked voice, still sobbing. What she said just made my heart skip a beat and I felt thrilled.

_**"It's okay, that's what friends are for, right?"**_ I said now looking at her, smiling warmly. She looked at me with her big and sweet eyes and smiled lovingly at me.

_**"I guess."**_ She said giggling softly, wiping her tears away. _**"I'm really glad you're still around despite everything."**_

_**"Me too, Freckles."**_ I said smiling and I hugged her again, placing my cheek against hers. Then I kissed her cheek slightly and she smiled softly.

_**"I have the feeling we can be good friends." **_Freckles said sweetly and I chuckled softly as my eyes twinkled.

_**"You have no idea how happy it makes me feel. Friends?"**_ I said squinting with an amused smile, pulling out my pinkie. She looked at it and laughed.

_**"Friends."**_ She said intertwining her pinkie with mine.

_**"You've just made a pinky promise with me, so you better don't break it. This is sacred."**_ I said looking deeply into her eyes, biting my lips not to laugh. She looked at me amused.

_**"I will try, I'm afraid of what could happen if I break it."**_ She said jokingly and I smiled proudly.

_**"Now, Freckles, there's something else I want to say." **_I said in all seriousness now. I still had to get to my point. She looked at me intrigued, expectant to hear me. _**"The person who broke into Brian's room only stole the money he has been saving; they didn't steal anything else, only that money. And then we all read that note, saying it was the return of W. I do think that the person who has done this is someone who is very close to Brian; I'm pretty sure that the person knew about Brian's father and how important that money was for him. Maybe it was Jim, not Karen."**_ I said serious, looking fixedly at her.

_**"Well, Jim isn't close to Brian; they haven't spoken since the time Karen forced me to say I was W. So I really doubt Jim knew about the importance of the money. But anyway, I also think it was Jim."**_ Freckles replied thoughtful.

_**"And there comes my point... Why would W appear again? Why after all this time? The note mentioned that Brian was stirring up the past. And with this I'm trying to say that I suspect that 'the past' the note mentioned was about you and me. After all, the person used the pseudonym of W, so I'm pretty sure it involves us because W was about us."**_ I started saying suspiciously, looking fixedly into her eyes. Freckles shifted on the bench, uncomfortable and a bit nervous, looking away. She knew something else, I was sure. _**"What do you know about this, Freckles? Why Brian? Why the past? Why W? I know you know something; I knew it since I read the note. And you've been playing fool, so that is why I was kind of curtly hours ago. I know you know something that you aren't telling me and I know it involves you and me; that is why I said that I deserve to know. Tell me, Freckles."**_ I insisted, still looking fixedly into her eyes while she was still looking away very uncomfortable. But then she sighed and looked at me.

_**"You're right; I shouldn't have underestimated your logical capacity. You're good, Criss."**_ She said raising an eyebrow and nodding, admitting I was right; so I smiled victoriously. _**"Yes, there's something I know that you still don't know and I know exactly why W appeared again."**_ She said bitterly when mentioned W. I looked at her very curious. _**"Okay, it's really embarrassing for me to say this; but well, yeah, you deserve to know because it certainly involves you as it involves me and Brian."**_ Freckles started explaining as she blushed slightly; she was nervous. This only made me feel more intrigued, so I was right, so I was involved in this shit. _**"Okay, remember when we were in Munising? You told me your version of why you disappeared that night at the hotel room. I'm sure you're aware I didn't believe you and I still have troubles to believe it; even if I try, it is just weird and for me it has no sense. Sorry, I can't believe it; it just seems very elaborated and fictitious; untrue. And sorry for being so crude, but yeah, that's the truth."**_ Freckles said.

I looked at her open-mouthed, feeling really bad; it was like whoa. Was she really still thinking that I made-up it all? Why? I told the truth. And just hearing her admitting it made me feel bad, as though someone was stabbing me in the chest. And I remembered what I told her about when no one believes you. I looked away sadly and I pursed my lips, but I nodded.

_**"So I needed to be sure if this wasn't one of your lies; I needed to know if you were telling the truth or not."**_ Freckles kept saying and I kept looking down, sadly and frowning, pursing my lips. _**"So I asked Brian if he could try to investigate about this; I asked if he could try to talk to Jim and get something."**_

_**"You did what?" **_I asked in disbelief, now looking at her agape, frowning.

_**"Yeah, what you heard... I needed to be sure."**_ She answered uncomfortable, looking away and sighing. Then she looked at me again and I was still looking at her incredulous. _**"Yes, I know, it is something stupid. But I've been lied so many times in my life that I just can't live with the doubt and I can't trust people so easily. I really needed to know."**_ She defended herself and I raised my eyebrows, looking away.

_**"Okay, whatever..."**_ I said shrugging.

_**"Please, don't get mad."**_ Freckles said supplicant and I just shrugged. _**"Well, we'll talk about this later; now I'll keep telling you... Brian couldn't find Jim and he has been searching the Internet. He only could talk to Susan, but she didn't know anything and she isn't in the States, so Brian thinks it couldn't be her. What I think is that Susan told Jim and so Jim was the one who has done this. And it can mean that maybe you were telling me the truth..."**_ Freckles said shyly, looking at me.

_**"I won't try to convince you that I told you the truth, Freckles, if that is what you're expecting."**_ I said looking away, but I said it softly even if it hurt me the way she needed proofs to believe me.

_**"I'm so sorry, Darren."**_ Freckles apologized again, but I didn't say anything. _**"You have to understand me; it is hard for me to trust people."**_

_**"And you have to understand me too, Freckles. It is hard for me to see that you don't believe me when I'm telling you the truth; after all the shit I did to try to find you."**_ I said looking into her eyes, hurtful. She looked down, apparently feeling guilty. I just sighed. _**"Whatever, that was in the past. But it turns out that Brian and you are stirring up the past, so thanks to that W or Jim returned."**_ I said now bitterly, looking away.

_**"Excuse me? Darren, are you trying to say that this all is my fault?"**_ Freckles asked in disbelief and I just shrugged. _**"I can't believe it."**_

_**"You cannot believe anything, apparently..."**_ I said in a whisper, raising an eyebrow and looking away, but she heard.

_**"Only because you're mad at me for what I did, doesn't give you the rights to make fun of me. I know it's not good to have this problem I have when it comes to trusting people and I'm working on that. And only because I had that stupid idea of asking Brian if he could investigate about this, doesn't mean that I wanted this to happen or that I was expecting this to happen. I already feel very guilty myself for everything; so if all you have to say is that I'm guilty, then I'll tell you yes, I am, but I'd appreciate if only for tonight you don't mention me that because I have to be positive for Brian who's going through real shit."**_ Freckles said softly and sadly, looking blankly at the horizon. I looked at her and I felt kinda bad for what I said.

_**"Hey, I really didn't mean to make you feel guilty for what is happening; you are not. And I'm not making fun of you, I was just feeling frustrated because you cannot believe me. But I guess I should understand you, I just need... time to settle this."**_ I said softly, looking at her, but she didn't look at me. _**"It always happened to me, I was always screwing things up, right? It didn't change, eh? Call me the 'blow it' guy."**_ I exclaimed trying to joke but saying the truth, though. She finally looked at me with a slight smile.

_**"Hmm..."**_ She murmured, shrugging, a bit amused. _**"You always knew the perfect way to fix what you screwed up. So every time you did it, it was worth it; because I always loved the way you tried desperately to fix things. It was cute and funny; and I loved those things about you." **_She said smiling sweetly and I stared her eyes for a while, also smiling. Whoa, so many memories... I needed to think about something funny or silly to say to avoid this awkward feeling.

_**"Oh well, I had my very own efficient techniques. Like this look..."**_ I said looking at her with the 'puppy' eyes as she called it. _**"Accompanied with this..."**_ I said with sadly voice, pouting as she was looking at me amused. _**"And then I used to do this..."**_ I said holding both of her hands and placing them on my heart as she chuckled. _**"And I continued it with a sweet kiss... But considering we're not in terms to do it... Maybe I could try this..."**_ I said and I kissed her cheek, pressing my lips on her cheek for a while. Then I looked into her eyes with the same puppy eyes and pout. _**"Please, forgive me?"**_ I said supplicant. She giggled but I really meant it.

_**"So all this time, I've been tricked! After more than a year I finally realized that it was all about a technique!"**_ She said laughing.

_**"A very efficient one." **_I said winking, in a jokingly way. _**"But if it makes you feel good, I only used it with you because you were the only one worthy to witness such a big effort."**_ I joked.

_**"Oh, I feel flattered!"**_ She exclaimed laughing out loud.

_**"Everything for my Freckles."**_ I said amused, grabbing her hand and kissing it softly as a gentleman. Freckles couldn't stop laughing and that made me laugh along with her; her catchy laughter remained intact. _**"And I can tell it still works on you, so I feel proud of myself."**_ I said mischievously looking at her and she shook her head, giggling.

_**"You're a dork."**_ She said amused.

_**"Full-time dork."**_ I added, also amused. _**"Or as a certain day I said... I'm adorkable." **_

_**"Oh, I remember that. Adorkable, that means dork and adorable, right? I remember; and I also remember that you drew a winky face."**_ Freckles said smiling amused. I couldn't believe she also remembered that time when I started sending her notes in middle of Spanish class at high school. That was awesome.

_**"Oh yeah, and you answered me a very rude 'bye'. Bye? Was that with all you could come up? Really?"**_ I asked amused.

_**"It's not my fault! You were acting like a physco! Who writes down on a note 'Do you copy me? Do you copy me?' Who?"**_ She asked laughing out loud and I laughed along with her.

_**"The adorkable guy!"**_ I exclaimed loudly in between giggles. _**"You cannot deny the fact that I'm original." **_I said winking and she chuckled.

_**"I'll never deny it."**_ She said smiling widely.

_**"So, with all of this I will assume that you forgave me. Are we okay?"**_ I asked looking at her with a smile.

_**"Yes, we're okay."**_ She said chuckling and punching my arm playfully, so I did the same.

_**"Sometimes I think it's impossible to us to have a serious conversation. I mean, yeah, we had and we have a lot of serious long conversations; but we always end up commenting something silly, funny or random. Like our conversations aren't boring and at the same time they aren't superficial. That is the great thing about us, don't you think?"**_ I asked randomly, looking at her. She was frowning with an amused smile.

_**"Yes, you're right. We're totally awesome, quoting you."**_ She answered with a wink and I laughed.

_**"I love you."**_ I said still laughing and it sounded wrong and I didn't want her to misunderstand me, so I corrected it. _**"As a friend."**_

_**"Yes, I love you too, as a friend."**_ She replied snickering and it made me smile.

_**"So, back to our serious conversation..."**_ I started saying, trying to talk in all seriousness again and she looked at me intently. _**"We have a problem."**_ I said roundly and she bit her lips probably not to laugh by the obvious thing I said as if it was like a whole new discovery. _**"Yeah, well... Hey! Do not laugh!"**_ I exclaimed amused when she started chuckling.

_**"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"**_ She said covering her mouth and then she took a deep breath and looked at me serious. _**"You can continue."**_

_**"Okay... So, assuming is Jim the one who has done this... What are we gonna do from now on? I mean, I cannot believe this all started again, and now they're also harassing Brian. And you read the note, they won't stop. What is that shit? I thought that stage of our lives was over."**_ I exclaimed kinda upset.

_**"Yeah, I thought the same. But you know? No matter what Brian wants, I won't stay idly like in high school. I'm no longer like that scared little girl. I learned how to be strong and face every kind of crappy situation."**_ Freckles answered very self-confident that it amazed me. _**"If I have to go, find Jim and hit him straight in his face; I'll do it with no hesitation. But he won't mess again; I'm really not scared of him, because he's just a stupid poor guy who has nothing good to do with his miserable life. I'm only scared that Brian can break and feel depressed for what is happening; and I won't let it happen either."**_ She said firmly in a very positive way and I looked at her surprised.

_**"Whoa! You just sounded so badass."**_ I said amazed and she just smiled and shrugged.

_**"Well, I just want to face that idiot. Who does he think he is to appear again and mess around in other people's lives? It happened once, it won't happen twice."**_ She said very firmly.

_**"I'd be super honored if you let me help you to find Jim. I also want to punch him straight in his face since a long time ago."**_ I said thinking about the night he threatened me with a gun, telling me I had to leave Freckles. The asshole ruined my life at some point.

_**"Yes, it would be good to get some kind of help."**_ Freckles agreed.

_**"So, is this a deal?"**_ I said stretching my hand.

_**"It's a deal.**_" She said shaking my hand.

_**"We're gonna kick the crap out of Jim."**_ I assured and she laughed.

Then Freckles' phone buzzed. Surely it was Brian, we've been out like for hours, it was really late and surely he was worried or something. I checked the time, it was 2am. Damn! We have been talking like for 4 hours and I really needed to get some sleep and do all the overdue assignments. Maybe it was time for both of us to say goodbye and sleep. When I looked at Freckles, she seemed to be really furious. I frowned in confusion.

_**"What's wrong?"**_ I asked intrigued.

She didn't answer, she only handed me her phone, looking away, frowning and clenching her jaw in anger. I hesitated before grabbing it because I was really confused and maybe it wasn't proper to read her text messages; but she insisted and for some reason she wanted me to read it; so I took her phone and I started reading the text message.

**"Well, hello again, pimple face. Surprised to hear about me again? It's been a while. How funny it'll be to destroy you a second time! I have a little question for you: Does your friend Clerk prefer red or black roses for his father's funeral? -W-"**


	45. Mr Fluffy

A/N: Hi guys! Guess what? I'm back! Yeah, finally! It's been a really rough week because of my final exam, which was today, and unfortunately it didn't go so well! But I'm being positive about this... So, I should stop rambling and talking about boring stuff! Now back to the fanfic... It was weird to me not to have updated last week, I must admit I got used at updating weekly. I hope you're excited to read this new chapter! W is back! Oh yeah! Would W be the same person or would be someone new? Ah! You'll figure out within time. Anyway, this part of the story doesn't focus mainly on W, so it's not gonna be like in High School, maybe it's gonna be worse or maybe not. Anyway, I think that bringing W back was an interesting plot twist, I want to keep this story interesting and maybe complicated and the less I want is to make this boring; I hope I'm getting that! Besides W is back, we have Darren and Freckles; would they be able to be friends or not? Would Freckles believe what Darren said? Would Darren forgive Freckles for what she did? What would happen with them? And, we have Brian, poor Brian; would he be able to make it with all the things that are happening to him? Why would W threaten only Brian? These are questions only to make it sound really intriguing, just bullshit! One more announcement: tomorrow is my birthday, so you better send me virtual cakes! I'll be waiting for that! Haha. Okay, with all of that, I'll start answering your reviews!

alicegursk: The lovely W is back! I think that many things were left unfinished, like why Jim appeared that day in the hotel room, if that was something Jim was forced to do or not, and more things. Now it's time to figure it out with time, only with time. It's time to know who is Jim, why is he now threatening Brian, if that is Jim as Darren and Freckles think or if that is other person, who is involved in this, and a lot of things that you'll figure out with time, only with time. Am I being very repetitive? Punch them on their faces because they're so sweet! Or you punch them or I'll eat them, it's up to you! They must taste like chocolate and I'm hungry. In this chapter maybe you'll want to punch them too. No teddy bear? Well, I know I have you! For a moment I thought you wanted to get a divorce and I started to worry! And you, missy! I know what you did there! You must know that I cannot live with suspense because I'm very curious! I need to know what feeling you have! Do not keep it in your mind! Tell me! Tell me! Let's make a deal. If by the end of this chapter you think I deserve to know because I wrote something you liked, then you'll tell me; if not, well, I'll have to suffer! Is it a deal?

PotterHead62: Yes I'm an evil a cruel person! I think Lucifer took over my body! That bitch! Don't worry, soon I'm gonna call an exorcist; I hope it works out. If not, I'll have to deal with that for the rest of my life, which isn't a cool thing. I think I'll go with Deckles! I don't know, I guess I like how it sounds; I'm repeating it in my mind. And you don't have to worry; I never break a promise! Remember that I have to write also about their lives in their professional life; so we have time and they have time to work everything out; but first they will be just friends. You said it! Where would the fun be if they get back together right away? I think it'll be interesting if one of them feel jealous because they see the other person with someone else. How would they feel if that comes to happen? Are you still sick? I hope you aren't! But if you are, I'll send you this: . . (copy and paste this link). I hope it works (because it's not allowed to post links here) and I hope you like it!

Vcriss: Yes, Jim (or someone else?) messed with Channing's dad! But maybe it was just a threat; W didn't do it for real. I agree, Jim or whoever that person actually is, is a jerk. Yes, I wouldn't be convinced about that either. I mean, it sounds like a lie; for sure I wouldn't believe it; even if the person is being honest, I would doubt. Yes, poor Freckles because she's struggling with all of that; but also poor Darren who notices that she doesn't believe him when he's telling 'the truth'. Maybe she ends up believing him, or maybe not and she will have to look for more evidence; or maybe Darren will feel very offended because she doesn't believe him so then things will get rough for them, or maybe not. I'm just saying possibilities that may or may not happen. Let's see what will happen!

Guest 1: Why do you hate Jim? Poor Jim! I'm just joking, obviously. But the question is: Is that person Jim or is someone else? We only have what Freckles and Darren suspect, but maybe they're wrong! But yes, I give you the permission to punch his face if you want! You could help Darren and Freckles with this. Yes, I know, Brian is going through real shit and his situation is very tragic. Maybe things will get better for him or not; maybe he won't be able to make it. Who knows? I'm glad you liked the part when Darren and Freckles start remembering things of their past; I enjoyed writing that; I needed to add something cute to much drama!

Nicole: So many feelings? That means something good for me! It'd be lame if what I write doesn't make you feel anything at all! So I find that interesting. Yeah, I know, things seem to get worse and worse for him, it's kind of tragic, isn't it? And may I say that I loved when you said "loco in the coco crazy"? I laughed a lot and I may or may not be laughing right now while writing this. Yes I am and I'm proud of it because I got a totally awesome nickname! This loco in the coco crazy made official the return of W! Maybe it won't be as important as it was in high school, but lots of things (and maybe worse things) will happen from now on thank to W. Exactly, W has Freckles' number and she changed it when she was hiding from Darren. How has W got it? That's a mystery that won't be soon revealed. Don't you like mysteries? Yes, he will get a new girlfriend. How do you picture her? Would she be a bitch like Karen or would she be a nice girl? Ah, we'll see. Hey, I need to find where that magical place called "bathroom" is, maybe I'll also find some first years to play with them too. I want to play hide and seek with them, because apparently I'm a good finder. Dumbledore will never be dead as long as someone remembers him, and I remember that old man. Maybe now it's time for Neville to take action on the matter. And you know what? You know what, draco-nicole? Fuck that year! Okay? You told me 'courage'; now I feel super honored! And thank you a lot for wishing me an early happy birthday! I'm getting older, man. Too sad! haha. And thanks for what you said at the end, I guess I needed someone to tell me something like that; not only about the fanfic but I also took it for all the aspects of my life; I guess I still need to relax and take things easy or I'll explode. And I wouldn't like to explode, it'd be disgusting to see a lot of blood and entrails and organs everywhere. That's very morbid. I guess I need to stop talking.

Emma: I wasn't kidding! W is back, that bitch or asshole! I'm very cheeky and cruel! But W had to appear again because many things were left unfinished and it's time to figure out everything, something that will take time, only to make this more intriguing. But W and the threats won't be the main topic of this second part as it was in the first part of high school. I don't know, I found interesting the plot twist, I missed the action and mystery and wickedness of W! When you mentioned the Golden Gate National Recreation area, I googled it and I saw some pictures. I must admit that it's a beautiful place and its landscapes and views are fantastic. I wish I could live there! If the restaurant you mentioned is the Cliff House, then I must admit that the place is truly wonderful. But by what you described I could picture the place and it's seems a very relaxing and nice place, so I'd really like if you take me there if someday I go to San Fran! I know what it feels to go somewhere away from your family when you start college. It happened to me, so I have an idea. If there's something I can tell you is that at first you're gonna feel bad and you're gonna miss your family a lot, not only your family, but the places where you used to be, the people of your city, your friends, the weather (seems something stupid but it is not); just the comfort of living in a family home with all that that implies: you'll be kind of forced to do things you weren't used to do because others always did it for you, such as cleaning, paying bills, buying groceries, cooking and doing dishes; and besides all of that you have to study. It seems something really silly, but when you face that reality it turns to be a tough reality in which you're alone and no one else will do those things for you if you don't do it or if someday you feel like not doing it. While it's true that you'll be forced to carry an adult life full of responsibilities and it'll be hard, don't worry, it's not as bad as you'll feel at first. You'll acquire independency and that's something amazing; you'll have a different kind of life, yes, but that's gonna be as good as you want to make it. You'll live new experiences and when you get your degree, everything since that moment will be easier for you; you'll learn how to manage everything and you'll figure out how and where you want to live your life in the future. Your family is always gonna be there for you, even if they're distant; you can always visit them or they can visit you; and thankfully we have internet connection, so nothing is too bad. So, don't be afraid of choosing a University that is away from home; sometimes it's worth it. Another thing; now talking about what you want to be and what people think about it or what they tell you. When I had to decide what to study, everybody (not kidding, it was everybody) wanted me to become a lawyer because that way I'd earn a lot of money; they tried to convince me for a whole year to the point that I thought that it was what I wanted to be, which was a lie. My mom was the only one who stood for me and told me: It's your life and whatever you decide to study is gonna be part of your life forever, so you're the only one who can decide what you want to become because no one else is gonna live your life for you. And that's when I decided to go against everybody and study something that no one wanted; no one (except my mom) supported me and no one believed in me and in my ability to be an architect; it was really hard because they couldn't understand that I don't give a damn shit about money, I have other ideas and things in my mind; I only want to help people by designing houses for them for free because of personal reasons (I don't wanna bore you with this). But here I am, and only now, after 5 years I've been studying this, people started to believe in me, because I'm good at it and I'm good at it because I love what I do. And Darren said: Don't let anybody tell you that you can't do what you're doing because the only person who's gonna stop you from doing what you want is you. You want to be an actor because you fucking love it and you're fucking good at it? Become one; if you do something you love, you'll succeed. Yes, maybe you won't be rich and famous as other people think you want. But since when to succeed in life is to be rich and famous? To succeed in life, as I see it, is to live your life with passion, giving everything of you, doing what you love, sharing your talent and inspire people with the things you love doing to show them what true happiness is; to show people that true happiness is not about being rich and famous as lately everybody thinks; because money cannot buy happiness. You'll succeed because you're gonna be happy; that is what matter. So screw everybody who tells you that you can't do what you love; this is your life, live it the way you want; life is too short to live it any differently. You don't annoy me and it wasn't inappropriate, don't think that. I'm really glad that you decided to tell me all of that, because somehow I already experienced what you're experiencing, so maybe something of what I said could help you. I love talking and I do appreciate chatting with you, so don't worry about writing long messages; as you can see it, I write long messages as well! About Darren's family house, the way you described it made me picture it in my mind; after 5 years I learned how to picture it with little things! haha. So, you got the scholarship and you have to decide on a University soon! I bet you're amazed and also a bit nervous! Just remember, don't be afraid of anything, of what people tell you or of being away from your family. Human beings have the ability to adapt to different circumstances, despite how different from what you're used at it is. Just believe that what you decided is the best option for you and your future and never regret anything you decided to do in a certain moment in your life. Decisions are hard, but what matters is not the decision itself but what you make of it. That way, all the options are good. I wish I helped you somehow!

Guest 2: Of course W wasn't gone! Lots of things were left unfinished and let's be honest: someone who has been messing for so long wouldn't disappear all of a sudden, right? Yes! I told you I'd mention the adorkable thing again! I'm very glad to know that you were excited and it made you fangirl when you read that! Maybe I'll make them mention that again, it's something really cute and I love that. Ah! I don't know if that is gonna bring them together as it happened the first time. I think this time something really important must happen for them to be together again, and it's gonna be beautiful! You have no idea how much I enjoyed writing Freckles as a badass! Besides, I don't want to repeat what happened to her with W in high school; I want to show how with this new personality she's gonna face W, I found interesting. And ahhh! So cute! Your guy best friend calls you Freckles and sometimes Sunny? Yes, you never told me before. That is so very cute! It's funny that you're like her! You must be a really good person since that is the way I picture Freckles! The only thing that isn't cool is the fact that you've been harassed; I hope that part of your life is over since no one deserves that, that's cruel. No, thank you for reading this story! I'm really happy that you do it and what you said made me brighten my day, so I guess we're even! Thank you for saying that, honestly!

Vicky: I think one day I told you that you're very clever and you have the ability to guess things that will happen. If I said it, I remind you that; and if not, now you know. Yes, W was back! But it won't be like in high school, thought; this time is gonna be different; maybe it's gonna be worse or maybe not; and this time W won't be the main topic of the story. Yes, Brian's situation is getting worse with time and maybe more things will happen, it's kind of tragic. But maybe someday everything, somehow, will get better in the future. You're the first to tell me that you appreciated Darren's behavior! Darren is a nice person and I wanted to show that, what he can do for people who aren't even his friends; and Brian was the perfect excuse to do it. Maybe they will become good friends, it'd be really nice, I think. About the W team; it has old members but also new members and one of the new members is gonna be an important person that maybe I mentioned before or maybe not. It's a secret! Yes, in this part I wanted to make Freckles different, to show a different thing and not to repeat what happened in high school; so definitely it's not gonna be like in high school; and do not forget that W is interested in Brian now, not in Darren and Freckles. Or yes? You'll find out with time. Ah! Your last question was a very interesting one. How would W have found that Brian was stirring up the past if he only looked in internet? Maybe that's not the only thing that Brian has done and he lied because of a very important reason; maybe he knows something that he shouldn't know. Did I say that something very dark is gonna be involved? Karen... She will appear, but there's something behind Karen that could be good or bad. For now, it's a secret.

MeMi83: Yes! W is back because I'm mean and I wanted to add more drama! haha. And you were right, I wanted to bring W back because after all W was very important in the past and also because many things were left unfinished. Why would W disappear so easily? After doing all that W has done, W wouldn't give up so easily. But it's gonna be very different from high school because nothing is the same and because I don't want to repeat what happened in high school because that way it'd be boring to read. I think that after a while things will start to make sense because you'll find out things that before you didn't know and also because I love, I truly love, plot twists. Maybe nothing is what it seems; or maybe I just want to make you believe that something mysterious is gonna happen and at the end nothing was mysterious. Yes, poor them! But they're stronger now. Freckles is different, she's more self-confident and she's stronger; so is Darren; they now know how to deal with bullies, after all they had to go through. Brian's case is different; this is the first time for him. No, not in the shins! Kick my stomach, but not the shins! haha. And thank you a lot for wishing me happy birthday! I totally could hear the sound of you singing to me! And I pictured myself with a birthday bonnet! haha I'm weird sometimes. Oh! It didn't go so well. Well, my thesis I think is going well, but not the last exam I had, it was really hard and they killed me; but I have a chance to make it again on July, so everything is fine. Thank you a lot for all the things you sent me! Here I am now, smiling like a goofball! I'll send your way a portion of my birthday cake!

Guest 3: First off, thank you a lot for understanding me. I also understand you that you were busy so for that you couldn't comment! I guess this is a hard time for everybody! We all are busy thanks to the stupid exams! Yes! I think that Freckles and Darren really needed to talk, in a quiet way. I think this time things between them will work out. And who knows? Maybe they end up falling in love again! I think that would be cute, but first they're gonna be friends, what I think it'll be interesting too. It'll be like a new side of their relationship now that they're different. Would that person be Jim or someone else? Is only one person or is a team like the last time? Thing is, it's gonna be different from high school, because Freckles and Darren are different, because now Brian is also involved, because there are things involved that you still don't know, and because maybe this time W wants to mess only with Brian because of something in particular. Anyway, W won't be the main topic of this second part of this story that takes place in college. Yes, you'll hear about W but you'll find out things slowly.

Caroline Boeira: Yes! W is back! But it's not gonna be like before. Different things will happen because different people and things are involved and because no one is as they were. Who is W this time? Is it a team? Is it only one person? Is it someone new or not? You'll find out with time. However, W won't appear so much since it's not the main topic of this part. Is that good or bad news?

amritsoomal: Yay! You're back! Firstly: Yes, W is back, but don't worry because it's not gonna be like in high school. Things, people and just everything is different, so the way they're gonna deal with W is gonna be different. Besides, W wants to mess with Brian and Freckles and Darren are gonna be involved, but only because they're friends with him. Why is that? Because there's something behind all of this. Besides, W won't appear so much since it's not the main topic of this second part. There are still things that must be solved. Secondly: Maybe they will be all cuddly like in high school, but they will try out new things first. I believe in happy endings! Thirdly: Brian, for Freckles, is just her best friend. Actually that is the problem, how their friendship will end up after Freckles finds that her best friend is in love with her. I just want to show what happens when your best friend falls in love with you and you don't love him back the way he does, something that happens too often. Fourthly: That's right; Freckles' name isn't in the story because I didn't want to give her a real name, just the nickname that Darren gave her, or the nickname that Brian gave her. I don't know why, I thought it could be cool if I don't give her a name and believe me, it's hard sometimes! I prefer to keep her as the 'you' with the nicknames. Fifthly: You love food? Ah! Me too! Especially sweets. Specifically chocolates. I can't picture my life without chocolates! Sixthly: Thank you very much! I'm getting older, I don't understand. I thought I was Dorian Gray! Such a shame! haha. Seventhly: You gave me a Krispy Kreme doughnut and a jar of Nutella! My life is complete, you have no idea how much I love that! Time to eat! Only because sometimes I'm nice I'll share that with you! Eighthly: No, unfortunately I'm not going to DC' tour! I don't live in USA, so I guess we're two who will have to eat a lot of food to face this depression. Ninthly: Do you suspect of them? I like your idea of them all being a massive family; it'd be cool and really nice! So, if it wasn't Mandy, maybe Mandy could meet Joey someday. Tenthly: Oh, don't worry about that, I tend to ramble too! Eleventh: Maybe I should leave too so I can let you read this new chapter. Twelfth: I don't like the number eleven either! So, I decided to finish it in the twelve just as you did. Now I can really let you read this new chapter. I hope you can enjoy it! I think it's cute.

Okay guys, that was all for today. I really hope you can enjoy this new chapter. As the name of the chapter, I think this chapter is fluffy and sweet and all. Drama is still present, but it's a cute chapter, I think. Anyway, I'll let you read it and I'll be waiting for you to tell me what you think. Do not forget to send me virtual cakes! I wish you all magical days full of magical hugs and magical laughter. Warm fuzzies and till next Saturday!

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**Teenage Dream – Chapter 45 – Mr. Fluffy.**

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_**"Come on, bud; this is the last box we have to unpack!"**_ Joey said opening the box and I huffed, feeling weary.

_**"Cannot we take a break? I'm very tired and I'm sweating; ugh, this is disgusting. Who sweats in fall?"**_ I said annoyed, running a hand through my sweaty forehead and sitting on the floor.

It's been a month since the incident of Brian's room. Now it was early October and Joey and I finally moved to a bigger apartment with 2 separate rooms, kitchen, living room and dining room. It was an off-campus cozy apartment in the 1001 S Forest Ave. Yes, it wasn't so near the North Campus, but it was really close to downtown. And I was really glad that finally we found a place, now Jen would be able to come here whenever she wanted with no complications.

_**"I don't know exactly where this should be." **_Freckles said frowning and amused, showing a light-blue rocketship printed blanket.

_**"Hey, that's my blanket! Gimme it!"**_ Joey said grabbing the blanket and wrapping himself in it as we all laughed.

_**"And what about this?"**_ Brian asked also frowning and amused, showing the sorting hat I made. I laughed out loud when I saw it.

_**"I really think you shouldn't be helping us. These are private things." **_I said still laughing, grabbing the sorting hat and placing it on my head. _**"I'm a Harry Potter fan, okay?"**_ I said proudly and everybody laughed.

_**"We all are, yet we don't have a sorting hat and... a wand?"**_ Freckles said pulling out from one box the branch shaped wand I once carved.

_**"That's because you're a muggle."**_ I said grabbing the wand.

_**"Who told you I'm a muggle, Criss?"**_ Freckles said raising an eyebrow, mischievously.

_**"You don't even have a wand."**_ I said shrugging, pretending to be indifferent.

_**"How are you so sure? Maybe I'm not a common witch..."**_ She said mischievously, in an intriguing way.

_**"Oh my wizard God! Are you a horcrux?"**_ I asked raising my eyebrows with my eyes wide open.

_**"Maybe, who knows? It's a secret that it's not gonna be revealed to an ordinary wizard like you, Criss."**_ She said superbly, raising an eyebrow and smiling mischievously.

_**"I don't care what you all say, I'm Ron Weasley and I'm totally awesome." **_Joey said eating a redvine with his blue headband.

_**"And I'm a Hufflepuff. Really, once there was this game..."**_ Brian started saying but Joey interrupted him.

_**"Man, what the hell is a Hufflepuff? Seriously."**_ Joey exclaimed disturbed.

_**"Hufflepuffs are particularly good finders..."**_ Brian started explaining but I wasn't listening anymore.

A bunch of ideas popped in my mind, thinking that it'd be cool to make a musical, like a parody based on several of the Harry Potter novels. I knew that Matt Lang, Nick Lang and Brian Holden were writing a book about this, but what if we turned that into a musical? What if we performed it on the University of Michigan campus? Everybody loves Harry Potter and everybody is like a little kid and totally nerd when it comes to Harry Potter; look at Joey, Brian and Freckles arguing about Harry Potter as though it was a defense of life or death; they're so excited. People love it. This could be actually a good idea.

_**"I don't care what you say! I'm not listening! It's cooler to be a Hufflepuff than to be a Gryffindor."**_ Brian exclaimed, arguing like a child. _**"My motto is 'Those patient Hufflepuffs are true and unafraid of toil'. What is your motto, eh? 'Their daring, nerve and chivalry set Gryffindors apart.' That's so lame. Lame, lame, lame." **_

_**"You know what? Both of your mottos are boring! Mine is totally awesome. 'Slytherin will help you on your way to greatness.' I'm awesome, bitch!" **_Freckles exclaimed superbly, amused.

_**"Are you a Slytherin?"**_ I asked intrigued, frowning amused.

_**"No, but I should be because that is my motto."**_ She said smiling amused, crossing her arms.

_**"I bet you're a Ravenclaw."**_ I said almost sure. _**"You know, you value intelligence, creativity, learning, and wit."**_

_**"Oh, I feel flattered and surprised."**_ She said smiling. _**"Yes, I'm a Ravenclaw. What are you?"**_

_**"Apparently I'm a Hufflepuff too, like Brian. But I should be a Gryffindor."**_ I replied shrugging.

_**"Who wants a RedVine?"**_ Joey asked offering some.

_**"I want!"**_ Brian exclaimed like child, taking one. _**"Oh man, I love this candy so freaking much." **_

_**"I want too, I'm starving!"**_ I said taking one. _**"RedVines, what the hell can't they do?"**_ I said laughing.

_**"Freckles?"**_ Joey said handing her the package of RedVines.

_**"Oh no, thanks."**_ She answered politely. _**"I brought my very own snack."**_ She said pulling out from her bag a low calorie cranberry snack bar. I looked at her serious.

_**"That seems awful."**_ I commented indirectly.

_**"It's not so bad, actually."**_ She answered smiling, eating it. _**"And it's healthy."**_

_**"Hmm..."**_ I commented disgusted, eating my RedVine.

I looked at Brian and he had just the same disgusted expression as me; he was shaking his head slowly. Well, Brian and I started to know more about each other in the last month. I found out he was actually a cool guy and that was great. I started getting along with him and we were kind of friends now. Even Joey and Meredith were his friends too. Brian told me more about his life: he told me what he was studying and why; he told me about his passion for football and how he enjoyed being part of the football team in high school; he told me what things he liked to do and what not; he told me about his favorite foods, movies and books, his favorite bands and songs; and lot of more random things. I told him mine too. We had a lot of things in common, as we also had things we didn't share. But this for sure helped us to know more about each other. And there was this night in which we started talking about more deep stuff, I started telling him some things about my past and he felt comfortable enough to start telling me things about him. So then he told me the story of his father, even if I already knew it thanks to Freckles; but he also told me something about his past, how her mother ran away when he was eight and his father had to take care of him by his own with his illness. He told me he hasn't seen his mother ever since; he didn't know anything about her and she never tried to find him; so it was as though he never had a mother and he was fine about it, because his father was all he needed, his father was like his mother as well. That was something I didn't know and that made me feel even worse. Like, his father was the only family he had and then all this thing of W happened. I was feeling really bad for Brian and really mad at Jim or whoever the person who stole the money was. Ever since Brian told me all of that, we started to have a better relationship and he was just like any other of my friends. Freckles was really happy about this, because this also made grow my friendship with her. Anyway, one of the things I talked to Brian was my concern about Freckles' health and he admitted he was also concerned. He told me he tried to tell her that she should eat more and that this was serious stuff, but he could never do anything relevant because Freckles was like a pain in the ass whenever he tried to talk about it. He mentioned about her work as a model and he told me that Freckles' explanation was that she needed to maintain her body for her work; so she was eating healthy foods all the time and she usually skipped dinner. He told me that since they started living together in his old room already repaired; the only way he got to make her eat more and better was if he cooked and lied her telling that all she was eating was low in calories meals. But she then found it out and she was really mad at him like for an entire week; ever since he couldn't do much. Brian looked at me raising an eyebrow and I nodded.

_**"So, guys, are you staying for dinner? We have to use for the first time our new kitchen."**_ I asked on purpose.

_**"Probably not. We have to come back to our room before it's too late, we live away from here."**_ Freckles answered.

_**"I'm pretty sure we can stay. It's Friday, we don't have anything to do tomorrow and it won't be a problem if we have to come back late in the night."**_ Brian said and I nodded in agreement.

_**"And you guys, if you think it's too late you can spend the night here now that we have two rooms."**_ Joey said and I nodded again.

_**"Yeah, totally. Come on, Brian could cook a lasagna, considering neither of us are good when it comes to cook; and I really don't wanna burn the kitchen yet."**_ I said laughing and Brian accepted.

_**"Okay fine, but not lasagna..."**_ Freckles said. _**"What about a tuna salad?"**_

_**"No one wants to eat that shit. Lasagna, that's it. Right?"**_ I asked looking at Brian and Joey who nodded._** "Seems that we win. Anyway, wasn't lasagna your favorite food?"**_

_**"Yeah, it is, but..." **_

_**"But nothing. We should probably go to a grocery to get the ingredients."**_ I said standing up.

_**"Good, I'll take a shower because I stink."**_ Joey said, also standing up.

_**"Yeah, and I could start cleaning the kitchen so by the time you arrive I can start cooking." **_Brian said, also standing up.

_**"Hey wait! No one is gonna accompany me?"**_ I asked frowning.

_**"I can go with you, Darren."**_ Freckles offered, standing up.

_**"No, I don't wanna go with you because I know what your intentions are."**_ I said looking at her fixedly.

_**"And what are my intentions?" **_She asked curiously, frowning.

_**"You're gonna force me to buy the stupid tuna and lettuce for the awful salad that no one wants to eat. And we're gonna cook only lasagna."**_ I said firmly.

_**"I'll buy it for myself. You are gonna eat lasagna and if you don't want to cook the salad, I'll do it. End of the story."**_ Freckles said sighing.

_**"No, you're not coming with me. I'll go alone, then."**_ I said looking for my wallet.

_**"What's the problem if I eat a salad? Why are you so mad for it?"**_ She asked incredulous.

_**"Because I just wanna have a good dinner the first time at this apartment, all together; and you're just blowing it. Why cannot you eat lasagna at least one time? It'll not make you fat if you eat it only once! You're pushing the envelope with your demented obsession with not getting fat and that is completely insane and sick." **_I exclaimed very loudly and a bit harshly, raising my eyebrows, a bit upset. Brian and Joey looked at me astonished, they knew I shouldn't have said that but I was tired of trying to convince Freckles all the time to eat more. _**"And I'm not gonna take my words back because you know I'm right!"**_

_**"Well, Darren, guess what? I work with my body, so I have to take care of it and if that makes you mad, I'm so sorry but I don't care. This is my work." **_Freckles answered coldly.

_**"That is not your work. Your work is what you do when you paint and draw. And if you're talking about your work as a model, let me tell you something..."**_ I said a bit harshly, looking fixedly into her eyes as she was looking at me angry. _**"Sexy and appealing models aren't the ones who are extremely thin and so sickly skinny that you can see their ribs and bony legs; that is repulsive in the eyes of many."**_ I said in all seriousness with a disgusted grimace as Freckles was looking away, clenching her jaw and crossing her arms, furious. But I didn't care, I wanted to say this. _**"A sexy and appealing model is the one who looks like... Marilyn Monroe, for example. She had a very curvy body; she had a body that filled out clothes and made her look really great instead of just hanging off of her, as happens to models nowadays."**_ I assured and Freckles kept ignoring me. _**"And you have a really sexy body, but you're on your way to look sickly skinny and that is not good, it's not healthy. You try to convince yourself that you're eating healthy food and shit, but it's not like that, you're getting sick."**_ I exclaimed exasperated looking at her, but she kept ignoring me, feeling furious. _**"And I'm so sorry if you are mad for this I'm saying that you don't want to hear; but I'm worried about you just as Brian is; we're worried about your health."**_ I said firmly and sadly, softening my voice, still looking at her. She shot a withering look at Brian. Brian was looking at me astonished and he didn't know what to say, but when Freckles looked at him, Brian sighed.

_**"Sorry, but I do think Darren is right."**_ He admitted.

_**"I can't believe this!"**_ Freckles exclaimed bitterly. _**"I can't believe you're on his side, Brian!" **_She exclaimed incredulous, looking at Brian and pointing me.

_**"I'm on his side because he is right. You're making bad decisions and you're gonna get sick if you keep being like this. And you know that; you know but you play dumb and this is how anorexia starts."**_ Brian said in all seriousness.

_**"Anorexia? Really? I can't believe you're saying that! How dare you to tell me that I'm anorexic? I am not!"**_ She yelled really mad.

_**"You don't look like one yet, but you're starting to have the same symptoms. You seriously need to stop with this obsession of being extremely thin. You're already thin and you look good like this; and I think you'll look even better if you gain a little weight."**_ Brian said and I nodded in agreement.

_**"You're an idiot, Brian. You too, Darren. You all are idiots."**_ Freckles said coldly and really furious as she grabbed her bag.

_**"Yes, we are all idiots worrying about you! We want to see you healthy, Freckles!"**_ I yelled exasperated as she started walking to the door. I quickly ran to there and I stood in between her and the door. _**"And you won't leave. You said you were strong enough to face any kind of problem. So face this!" **_

_**"This is not a problem! This is you being an idiot, thinking that I'm anorexic!"**_ She yelled angrily.

_**"You say you aren't one, so let me ask you something... When was the last time you ate an ice cream? And not a dietetic ice cream, a real ice cream."**_ I asked harshly looking at her.

_**"That's none of your business."**_ She replied coldly, looking at me fixedly and severely into my eyes.

_**"Last year, when she graduated from high school."**_ Brian replied and Freckles looked at him fiercely.

_**"When was the last time you ate a chocolate? You always loved chocolates, so when was the last time you ate one?"**_ I asked looking at her intently into her eyes. She was really upset. She didn't answer.

_**"Same day."**_ Brian answered for her.

_**"That was a long time ago, Freckles. Look all the things you're missing only because of a stupid obsession! You're not doing or eating the things you love because of that obsession. So tell me, it is sick or not?" **_I asked sadly looking at her and she was looking away, biting her lips and frowning. _**"You need to stop with this, please, Freckles."**_ I said distressed placing my hands on her shoulders and trying to look into her eyes.

_**"This entire scene because of a stupid lasagna?"**_ She asked in disbelief looking into my eyes, frowning.

_**"No, the lasagna was an excuse that Brian and I made up to finally tell you all we think. We care about you, Freckles, and we're worried." **_I said softly and still distressed.

_**"So, have you planned this?"**_ She asked in disbelief looking at me and Brian.

_**"Kind of."**_ I replied honestly and she huffed and shook her head in disbelief. _**"Please, Freckles, promise us that you'll stop with this; that whenever we invite you to dinner and it's a high calorie but a delicious dinner you love, you're gonna eat it anyway with no guilt and with pleasure. Promise us that you'll stop seeing how many calories a product has and if you like it, you'll just eat it. Promise us that you'll stop looking in the mirror and think that you should be thinner, because damn, look at you! You're completely sexy with that body and you'll be even sexier if you gain a little weight as Brian said. Promise, Freckles."**_ I begged her with soft and supplicant voice, looking deeply into her eyes. She looked down for a while and then she looked at me.

_**"I'll try."**_ She said sighing.

_**"I'll try is not enough."**_ I said distressed.

_**"I'll try is enough for me for now. And we should really go to buy the ingredients for the lasagna before the grocery closes." **_Freckles said serious, walking to the door and opening it.

I just remained looking down, biting my lips, feeling frustrated because I couldn't get it. I totally failed. I knew her 'I'll try' was just a stupid lame excuse to end with this conversation; I knew she really didn't mean it. Brian walked to me and placed a hand on my shoulder.

_**"You tried your best, man."**_ Brian said and I nodded discouraged, still biting my lips. _**"Really, what you said was all that had to be said; and thanks for taking the first move. She's gonna change her mind soon and she'll stop doing that. You were really great, so don't feel frustrated."**_

_**"Thanks, man. You did your part too. I guess we'll have to keep trying."**_ I said shrugging.

_**"That's right. But for now, let's just feel good because at least we got her to accept eating lasagna. That's a big progress, I guess."**_ Brian said and I smiled slightly, nodding. _**"Now you probably would like to reach her, just to make sure she's not gonna run away."**_ He said jokingly and I giggled.

_**"Yeah, better if I move my ass."**_ I said.

I walked fast to try to reach Freckles and I even forgot to bring a coat, damn. But I saw her, she was walking alone. I ran to her and I started walking next to her, in silence. Neither of us talked and I wasn't going to be the first one talking; I wasn't going to apologize for what I said because I wasn't sorry. And I knew she wasn't going to talk because she was kinda prideful. She only stepped closer to me and linked an arm with mine when she noticed I was trembling because of the cold. I finally looked at her; she was serious and she didn't mention anything, she didn't even look at me. We arrived at some supermarket and when she noticed it was warm inside, she let out my arm. I looked for a shopping cart and we started walking in silence. I started putting some ingredients for the lasagna on the shopping cart and she was doing the same. It was something quick; in fifteen minutes we already had everything we needed. I stopped only to take a pack of beers. Then we walked to the line and waited until our turn to pay, still in silence. I saw Freckles walking away and coming back after few minutes.

_**"Can you buy me this?"**_ She asked softly.

I didn't want to look at her, so I only looked what she had in her hand. I saw a Ferrero Rocher chocolate. I looked up at her and she was looking at me with a supplicant face like a little kid. I looked sweetly into her eyes and I smiled.

_**"Yes, I can."**_ I replied softly.

_**"Thank you."**_ She answered smiling, kissing my cheek. _**"I'm sorry for the way I reacted minutes ago. I was just upset because you're right. Yes, I have this obsession but it's only because I need this job, you know? And I cannot be fat; but you were right when you said that maybe I'm pushing the envelope. So thanks for not being afraid of telling me what you think. You're right and I really promise I'll try to work on that. Sorry." **_She said apologetically, looking into my eyes. I stared her eyes for a while before smiling again and wrapping an arm around her as she rested her head on my shoulder.

_**"It's okay. I really wish you can stop with that, for your own health."**_ I said softly as she wrapped an arm around me and I kissed her head.

_**"Do you really care about me?"**_ Freckles asked resting her chin on my arm and looking into my eyes with her big and bright eyes. That was an intense look.

_**"Of course I do."**_ I answered frowning slightly. _**"You're my friend."**_ I said smiling softly and she smiled back.

_**"And do you really think I'm sexy?"**_ She asked still looking intensely into my eyes. Geez, this was awkward.

_**"Well, if you gain a little more weight you'll be the sexiest girl alive."**_ I said giggling softly and that made her giggle as well. Then she rested her head on my shoulder and kept looking straight ahead. _**"And what about you? Do you think I'm sexy?"**_ I asked amused.

I quickly made a very silly cross-eyed face, raising my eyebrows in a very exaggerate way and smiling with all my teeth, tensing my lips and jaw. When she looked at me she burst out laughing.

_**"Oh my god! You're so silly! You're a complete dork!"**_ She said still laughing loudly and I started laughing along with her. _**"I always loved that about you; the way you make me laugh without even trying."**_ She said smiling amused and that made me smile but it also made me feel a bit awkward. _**"And yes, you're sexy even with those silly and ridiculous faces." **_She added and I chuckled softly._** "And also even with your scruffy beard and your... bushy and big curly hair that looks like an afro." **_She said looking at my hair with an amused smile.

_**"What? What about my hair?" **_I asked amused, touching it. Yes, it was way bushier than the way it was in high school.

_**"Nothing, I like it..."**_ She said smiling still looking at it, and now running her fingers through my curls and placing her free hand on my chest. _**"It is still very soft..."**_ She said with her lips parted, apparently mesmerized. This was feeling weird. _**"You should keep the afro; it gives you like... a personal brand."**_ She said and finally looked into my eyes, so our eyes met. She stared my eyes very intensely and it made me feel uncomfortable. _**"And your eyes are like a huge contribution to your sexiness." **_She said and I raised my eyebrows and looked away to break the eye contact.

_**"Thanks."**_ I said uncomfortable, still looking away.

_**"You're welcome, sexy guy."**_ She said stepping away, smiling amused and looking at me mischievously. Could she be flirting with me? No way. _**"Are you okay?"**_ She asked frowning slightly; I was surely looking like a fool.

_**"Yeah... Yes, I am."**_ I replied and I looked away. Why wasn't the line moving? _**"I was just thinking if we were forgetting something or not." **_I lied and she wrapped her arms around me again. I just didn't like this so much for some reason.

_**"Don't worry, silly. We're bringing all we need, unless you need something else for yourself..."**_ She said looking at me and smiling.

_**"Umm... Yeah, I think... I think I need something."**_ I said nervously. I needed to stay away from her for a little because I was feeling weird. _**"Umm... Take this."**_ I said giving her my wallet. _**"Just in case the line moves and you have to pay this stuff. Be right back." **_I said really quickly and she frowned.

_**"Okay..."**_ I heard her saying, but I was already walking away.

I walked away and I grabbed the first random thing I found. Shit, why was I feeling so weird? I wasn't supposed to feel like this. Why would I feel so uncomfortable? I wasn't even feeling attracted to her; I wasn't feeling uncomfortable because I had the urge to kiss her unlike other times. I was feeling uncomfortable because she was being so close and it felt weird. In other circumstances, I'd have loved to have her so close; but now I didn't like it somehow. Why? Why would I feel like that? It just had no sense. And just thinking about the idea of her flirting with me freaked me out; it didn't make me feel happy, it made me feel weird. Maybe because now I could only see her as a friend and it was weird because this was something new. Maybe I should clarify her I didn't like so much to hear her saying flirty things. Or maybe not, because I didn't know how she was going to take it. Alright, enough. I needed to come back. When I walked to the line, Freckles wasn't there anymore. She was waiting for me in the entrance with the merchandise bags. I left the random thing I grabbed, and thanks god I left it because it was... a pregnancy test? Really? Oh shit, I should have really seen what I was grabbing. I walked to Freckles.

_**"Let's go?"**_ I asked and Freckles looked at me frowning.

_**"I thought you were going to buy something."**_ She said.

_**"Oh yeah, I was about to buy a toothpaste but then I remembered I already have one. Give me the bags, I'll carry them."**_ I said attempting to grab the bags.

_**"No, it's fine, really."**_ Freckles said moving the bags so I wouldn't grab them.

_**"Come on, Freckles." **_I said and I tried again to grab them. _**"Hey, really, gimme the bags."**_ I said looking at her but she shook her head. _**"Freckles..."**_ I said serious. _**"I'll tickle you if you don't give me the bags."**_

_**"Okay, okay, take them! You cheater!"**_ She said laughing, finally giving me the bags and I just laughed.

Like that we went outside and hell damn, it was cold. Freckles stepped closer to me and linked her arm with mine again. I just felt weird by her touch, but she was doing it because she was nice. We walked in silence and we finally arrived to the apartment, I was about to get in, but Freckles stopped me.

_**"Wait, Darren. Before we enter, I'd like to talk to you now that we're alone."**_ She said and I looked at her frowning. What would she want to talk about?

_**"Umm, yeah, sure."**_ I said while placing the bags on the floor.

She walked closer to me and hugged me. I felt surprised by this because I was definitely not expecting this. I got strained, but I hugged her back. She rested her head on my chest and I just remained motionless.

_**"What's this about?" **_I asked softly.

_**"I just wanted to thank you."**_ She said now resting her chin on my chest and looking into my eyes, still wrapping her arms around me.

_**"What for?"**_ I asked curiously.

_**"For all you've been doing, for me and Brian. It's just so nice from you."**_ She said smiling and I smiled back, nodding. _**"And also because you haven't told Brian about that text message I received that night when someone broke into Brian's room." **_

_**"Yeah, sure. We agreed we weren't going to say anything. Have you received more of those text messages?"**_ I asked curiously.

_**"Yes, just two more... But nothing important."**_ Freckles admitted.

_**"Why haven't you told me?"**_ I asked frowning.

_**"Because we agreed we weren't going to give a damn shit about this. We agreed we were going to act as if nothing was happening because Jim or whoever this person is cannot do anything to us."**_ Freckles replied.

_**"Yes, I know we agreed that. But I'd like to know if they keep sending you those text messages. I don't want to meddle in your life if you don't want me to, but I want to know about this, because somehow it involves me." **_I said kinda offended.

_**"I'm sorry. I'll tell you next time, I didn't know you wanted to know."**_ She defended herself and I sighed.

_**"It's okay. What did they send you this time?"**_ I asked.

_**"Just the usual. That if Brian keeps stirring up the past they're gonna kill him and they're gonna kill me if I keep insisting. That they're watching me, that they know where I live and what I do. Shit like that. But they didn't mention you, Darren, so don't worry."**_ Freckles explained and I frowned.

_**"Well, it doesn't matter if they didn't mention me. I worry about you, Freckles. You should be careful about this. I know we agreed we were going to keep living our normal lives because we wouldn't let this affect our normal activities; but you shouldn't take this so lightly."**_ I said in all seriousness, looking fixedly into her eyes.

_**"Well, Darren, I told you I'm not that fearful teenage girl I used to be. I'm not scared of this. They're pure threatening words but they don't dare to do anything when it comes to act. Now the roles are different, they're the coward ones and I'm the strong one. So I'm waiting for the day they decide to face me."**_ Freckles said confident and courageous.

_**"Yes, you said it like thousand times. But still. You should be careful, Freckles. And you should tell me when they send you those things; I told you I wanted to help but you're not letting me. And I don't like when you do that."**_ I said frowning.

_**"Okay, I told you I'm gonna tell you next time, Darren."**_ Freckles said raising her eyebrows as if she was starting to feel a bit annoyed. _**"I promise."**_

_**"Fine, I take your word."**_ I said looking at her and she nodded. _**"Besides that, has anything else happened?" **_I asked and she shook her head. _**"Good. And have you already found something about Jim?"**_

_**"No, nothing."**_ She said kind of frustrated. _**"What about you?"**_

_**"Nothing either."**_ I answered bitterly. _**"It seems he has disappeared, but he keeps sending text messages. It's just weird." **_

_**"Yes, it is. I was starting to think that maybe he has changed his identity."**_ Freckles said thoughtful.

_**"Do you think he's capable to do something like that?"**_ I asked.

_**"Yes, I do think that. He never had a good reputation, so if I were him, I'd change my identity."**_ Freckles said and I nodded, maybe she was right. _**"Okay, we'll think about this later; now I think we should get in, you're trembling." **_

"_**Yeah, we should."**_ I said laughing softly.

We got in and Joey already took his shower and was now helping Brian to clean the kitchen. I greeted them and Freckles walked to the kitchen asking if they needed some help as I left the bags on the table and then I put the beers in the refrigerator.

_**"Guys, I'm gonna take a shower."**_ I said while everybody was helping to clean the kitchen and started cooking. _**"It won't take so long."**_

I walked to my new bedroom where all the boxes with my clothes were and I grabbed a towel, underwear and a white long sleeve t-shirt and black jeans. I thought that probably the best would be to get dressed in the bathroom now that Freckles was around; I was trying to avoid any kind of uncomfortable situation. So I got in the shower and I started enjoying the warm water on my body after the cold I suffered outside; this was pleasant. This shower was so cool, it was better than the old room; I really didn't want to leave the shower. I was thinking about the idea I had of turning the book that Brian Holden and Nick and Matt Lang were writing into a musical; I was almost sure they were going to like the idea; I could write the songs. And when I thought about writing the songs, I started singing a random song.

_**"I gotta get back to Hogwarts; I gotta get back to school."**_ I sang grabbing the shampoo bottle as microphone, really getting into the song as if I were a rock star. _**"I gotta get myself to Hogwarts, where everybody knows I'm cool."**_

_**"Darren?"**_ I heard a voice behind the door and I startled, feeling like a fool.

_**"Yeah?"**_ I asked leaving the shampoo bottle.

_**"Are you singing?"**_ Freckles asked and I felt a bit ashamed because I was surely singing very loud.

_**"No..."**_ I lied and I started washing my arms and back with the soap.

_**"If you say so..."**_ She said giggling. _**"So listen, Hogwarts, dinner is already done; so better if you hurry. You gotta get yourself to the dining room, where everybody knows we're hungry."**_ She said laughing, obviously making fun of me. She totally listened to what I was singing.

_**"Okay, I'll be there in a minute."**_ I said chuckling softly, because yeah, it was funny to have been caught.

_**"Good. See? Now everybody knows you're cool."**_ She said laughing again and then I heard steps walking away.

I finished washing my body and hair as fast as I could. I was so deep in thought with my ideas and songs that I haven't realized I spent like half an hour in the shower. I dried my hair and my body and I quickly dressed up while trying to comb my wet curls with my fingers. When I was ready I walked to the dining room. Everybody was sitting and the table was already set.

_**"Oh that smells so good!"**_ I exclaimed cheerfully walking to the only empty seat next to Joey, in front of Freckles.

_**"Yes, and we're starving." **_Joey pointed.

_**"Sorry, I didn't realize I was taking so long."**_ I said with an amused smile.

_**"What the hell were you doing in the shower?"**_ Joey asked frowning.

_**"He was playing to be in the Hogwarts Express on his way to Hogwarts, where everybody knows he's cool."**_ Freckles commented with an amused giggle, grabbing her fork. I looked at her really amused.

_**"I am Harry Potter, biatch."**_ I commented jokingly and everybody laughed.

_**"How was the song you were singing in the shower?" **_Freckles asked amused, obviously to make me feel ashamed in front of Joey and Brian, but this was funny. _**"I gotta get back to Hogwarts!"**_ Freckles sang very loudly and in a theatrical way.

_**"I gotta get back to school!"**_ I kept singing very loudly and also in a very theatrical way.

_**"I gotta get myself to Hogwarts!"**_ Freckles kept singing in the same way.

_**"Where everybody knows I'm cool!" **_I sang standing up in the chair, using the fork as a microphone, pretending I was a rock star.

_**"Oh my God."**_ Brian exclaimed amused, chuckling.

_**"Oh shit, man!"**_ Joey exclaimed looking at me in disbelief, but I knew he was amused. Then he looked at Brian, frowning. _**"Can you see with what I have to deal every single day of my life? This is a torture! Who made me choose that idiot as a roommate? Who?"**_ Joey exclaimed in a very theatrical way, as if he was aghast.

_**"I know the feeling, bro."**_ Brian answered laughing. _**"I know exactly how it's like to live with a person who acts insanely all the time, every single day." **_He said looking at Freckles amused.

_**"Man, we totally should live together and leave those two drown in their own insanity and nonsense lives."**_ Joey commented pretending to be very serious about this.

_**"We should plan something to lock them in a room, so we can live peacefully."**_ Brian commented, nodding.

_**"Brian Thomas Clerk, I'm gonna kick your balls if you keep talking like that about me."**_ Freckles said in a threateningly way, but jokingly; pointing him with her fork.

_**"See? She threatens me, man!"**_ Brian exclaimed with his eyes wide open, pretending to be scared. Freckles laughed and leaned to hug him. I finally sat on the chair again.

_**"You two..."**_ I said pointing Brian and Joey with my fork. _**"Just envy us..."**_ I said now pointing Freckles and myself with the fork. _**"Because we're cool."**_

_**"And that's totally awesome!"**_ Freckles exclaimed joyfully as she gave me a high-five.

And we started eating the lasagna while joking and fooling around. Oh, man! This lasagna was truly delicious. I didn't even know Brian was a good cook. I practically devoured my portion of lasagna; and of course, I repeated as everybody did except Freckles. But I wasn't upset for it because at least she ate all her portion. We were now drinking the beers and joking about random things as Joey was washing the dishes and I was helping him. We actually were playing a game in which Freckles was drawing random stuff and we all had to guess what it was.

_**"Don't shit me! That is a fucking alien planet inhabited by giant insects!"**_ I exclaimed loudly looking at Freckles' drawing while I was drying the dishes.

_**"I thought you admired my drawing skills but you're not guessing anything at all, Criss."**_ Freckles said giggling looking at her drawing.

_**"Sorry, Freckles, but that really looks like insects..."**_ Joey said also looking at the drawing. _**"I think Darren is right this time! That looks like a caterpillar carrying an egg sac." **_

_**"Yeah, and that looks like a flying bug and those like mosquitos."**_ Brian commented.

_**"What is wrong with you, people?"**_ Freckles asked frowning, checking her drawing.

_**"Considering that no one of us guessed because you actually don't wanna admit that we all are right; tell us what the hell that is."**_ I said putting the last dish in the cupboard.

_**"These are people attending a costume party whose theme is insects, because they are trying to recreate the Disney movie A Bug's Life."**_ Freckles answered.

_**"Oh, suck my balls!" **_I exclaimed loudly in disbelief. _**"Who the hell would have thought all of that? You kept saying there was something wrong with us and nonetheless we weren't so far."**_

_**"Cheater!"**_ Joey exclaimed loudly, looking at Freckles.

_**"That's right! You fooled us! I do think we should come up with a sort of punishment for her." **_Brian proposed and Joey and I nodded energetically.

_**"What?" **_Freckles exclaimed alarmed, in disbelief. _**"Oh, no! Only because you aren't creative enough to guess the drawing doesn't mean I have to be punished! What is that shit?"**_

_**"I'm so sorry; you looked for it, Freckles. You could have drawn something simpler."**_ Joey said raising an eyebrow and nodding.

_**"Yes, we have the enough proofs to prove you've done this only to make us look like completely incompetent people, which is very cruel; so you do deserve a punishment."**_ I added.

_**"This is bullshit! Only because I'm the only girl here you think you can do the shit you want with me? That is not fair!"**_ Freckles complained.

_**"This has nothing to do with your gender."**_ I said firmly.

_**"Yeah, after all you're like our bro, Freckles!"**_ Joey exclaimed while laughing.

_**"What? Are you gonna treat me like a boy now?"**_ Freckles asked frowning.

_**"Aren't you a boy? Oh gosh, I've been blind all this time."**_ Brian commented jokingly as Freckles looked at him in a severe way, frowning.

_**"I'll kick everybody's ass in here."**_ Freckles said huffing and crossing her arms, like throwing a tantrum as a little kid.

_**"So... What are we gonna do, guys?" **_I asked looking at Brian and Joey.

_**"She'll have to massage our feet."**_ Joey proposed while giggling.

_**"That's gross. I won't do that!"**_ Freckles exclaimed with a disgusted face.

_**"Be thankful I proposed the feet instead any other part of the body."**_ Joey said in a very perverted but jokingly way, so Brian and I laughed; but Freckles looked at Joey agape, frowning.

_**"You're a perverted, Richter!"**_ Freckles exclaimed.

_**"I don't know what you were thinking... because I was actually thinking about armpits."**_ Joey commented laughing and all laughed as Freckles looked at him in disbelief, shaking her head, but smiling amused.

_**"Who is the cheater now?"**_ Freckles asked amused.

_**"Talking in all seriousness now, I think she could give us a massage. I really could use some now; my back hurts because of all the boxes we had to carry."**_ Joey said.

_**"Yeah, my back also hurts."**_ Brian said nodding. _**"So what do you think about her giving us some back massages, Darren?" **_Brian asked looking at me. I just remained silent because I didn't like so much the idea of her touching me so much, but on the other hand, I really could use those back massages.

_**"Yeah, why not?"**_ I finally replied.

_**"So that's it! Get ready for giving us some back massages, Freckles."**_ Joey said and sat on the couch next to Brian.

_**"Fine! But only five minutes for each one!"**_ Freckles said and we all nodded in agreement. Five minutes, I could take that.

Freckles sat next to Joey and she started massaging his back. I sat next to Brian, still drinking beer. Joey started making weird sounds of pleasure mixed with pain and that almost made me choke with the beer. That was so funny. Brian looked at Joey and started laughing. Then Brian looked at me raising his eyebrows and still smiling amused.

_**"Seems that someone is enjoying the massages."**_ He commented and I laughed.

_**"Oh yeah, he is surely overreacting."**_ I joked looking at Joey then looked at Brian again. _**"You guys don't mind if you share a bed, right?"**_ I asked looking at him and pointing Freckles with the bottle of beer. _**"We only have two beds, so I was thinking I could sleep in Joey's bed tonight and you and Freckles can sleep in my bed."**_

_**"Umm, well..."**_ Brian started saying uncomfortable.

Well, maybe they weren't used to sleep together occasionally and that was going to be a little problem. Freckles wouldn't want to sleep with Joey and I didn't want to sleep with Freckles.

_**"Of course we don't mind."**_ Freckles answered for Brian. Brian looked at Freckles and then he looked down, pursing his lips. That was a bit weird.

_**"Are you sure? Because if you want... I don't know, maybe someone can sleep on the couch."**_ I said when I noticed Brian didn't like the idea of sleeping with Freckles. _**"But I don't have any extra blankets yet... Do you Joey have any?"**_ I asked looking at Joey who was behind Brian and he shook his head while still making weird sounds. _**"I don't know, guys..."**_

_**"It's okay, Darren. We really don't mind sharing a bed."**_ Freckles repeated.

_**"Yeah, it's okay."**_ Brian said, nodding slightly.

_**"Okay, good."**_ I said nodding while taking a sip of my beer, feeling relieved because they agreed to sleep together.

_**"Okay, Joey; I hope you enjoyed my delightful massages."**_ Freckles said smiling softly while standing up.

_**"Yeah, now I'll sleep like a baby."**_ Joey said with a relaxed face. _**"So you guys, if you don't mind... It's been a long and strenuous day, so I'll get some sleep." **_He said yawning.

_**"Yeah, it's alright. Have a good sleep, Joey. And oh! You better give me room in your bed and if you start kicking me in the middle of the night, I'm gonna kick your ass and I'm gonna throw you out of bed. So, you're warned."**_ I said in all seriousness but with an amused smile.

_**"Oh, geez! Now that is a good way to go to sleep."**_ He said frowning. _**"Goodnight, guys."**_

Everybody greeted Joey and he walked to his bedroom. Then Freckles sat right where Joey was sitting and moved closer to Brian. Brian gave her his back and she started massaging his back. Just as Joey, Brian started making weird sounds of pleasure and pain. I really didn't know what to do while they were doing that, so I looked at the floor and kept drinking my beer. I still wasn't sure if I wanted Freckles to give me massages; but it seemed she was good at it, so whatever. It was going to be only five minutes. I glanced furtively at Brian and Freckles and I found it a bit weird. Brian seemed to be enjoying her massages way more than Joey enjoyed it. While Freckles started massaging Brian's shoulders, Brian leaned his head slightly and touched Freckles' hand with his jaw, smiling very softly with his eyes closed. I frowned slightly and then I drifted my gaze to the floor again. Well, they were really good friends... Still, there was something weird in Brian's facial expression.

_**"Okay, we're done, Bri."**_ Freckles said smiling and I looked at them again.

Freckles, still behind Brian, wrapped her arms around Brian's neck and kissed his cheek slightly, still smiling. I noticed how Brian shivered when she did that and he smiled very softly as he opened his eyes and then I could see the twinkle in his eyes. If I didn't know about their relationship, I'd swear they had something more than a friendship; especially because of Brian's reactions and faces. Brian caught me looking at them, so he frowned and looked away; apparently uncomfortable.

_**"I think I'll go to sleep too. I'm really tired."**_ Brian said quickly standing up as Freckles looked at him smiling.

_**"Yeah, that's alright. You know where the bedroom is, right?"**_ I asked.

_**"Yes, I know."**_ He replied shortly, nodding. _**"Well, goodnight, guys."**_ He said and he quickly walked to my bedroom.

It was weird the way he seemed to be very rushed to go to bed. Well now I noticed I was alone with Freckles and I started feeling awkward again. I didn't want to feel like that; we weren't doing anything weird, I shouldn't feel like that. As to hide my nervousness I took a sip of my beer, but it was already empty. I left the bottle on the floor and I didn't look at Freckles, not even a single time. I noticed how Freckles moved closer to me, but I remained motionless staring the floor.

_**"Come on, Darren, give me your back." **_Freckles demanded softly.

_**"You really don't have to do this if you don't want."**_ I said uncomfortable, still staring the floor.

_**"It's not a problem. After all, it's only five minutes and you are surely as strained as Joey and Brian were and you surely have contractures as them."**_ Freckles said softly and I finally looked at her. She was smiling friendly.

_**"Alright."**_ I replied and I gave her my back. She placed both of her hands on my lower back and begun making small circles by going up the back and down again.

_**"You have to relax, Darren."**_ Freckles said softly and I tried to relax my body. Then she placed her hands on my spine and pressed it, as indicating me to sit upright.

Freckles started to rub my back slowly and gently and it felt so good that I closed my eyes and I relaxed for real. I had no idea how much my back hurt and this was feeling good but also a bit painful. She worked her way down from the back of my neck to my shoulders, working her thumbs in small, deep circles, starting in the interior part of the shoulder blades. Then she worked at the base of my head, deeply pressing the tips of her forefinger and middle finger into the furrows. Then she massaged my biceps lightly with her fingertips and then she worked the back on either side of the spinal cord using upward strokes laterally along the spine until she reached my tailbone, teasing the area around the base of the spine.

_**"Oh yeah, right there!"**_ I exclaimed with a moan of pain but also of pleasure when she massaged a tedious area that was hurting me. This wasn't a bad idea after all.

She stopped on that area for a while until it didn't hurt me anymore. Then Freckles continued massaging my back like this for several minutes. Now I understood why Brian and Joey couldn't stop making weird sounds; this was feeling really good and I wasn't aware of how much I needed some massages.

_**"Yeah, this feels so good."**_ I moaned again with my eyes closed.

This was extremely relaxing and I realized why Joey and Brian wanted to go to sleep after this. Freckles didn't say anything at all. She kept massaging my back right on the sides of my spine with deep and smooth circles and then she went up to my shoulders again. There she started working her thumbs in small and deep circles. My shoulders were literally hurting and I was still feeling something tedious on them. I was sure this was being more than five minutes, but I really didn't want her to stop now that she was doing it. I groaned when she massaged an area that was hurting me, so then she paid especial attention to that area. Her hands were like magical, now it wasn't hurting so much. Everything was going really well and I was enjoying this way too much; until I felt it: She started kissing my neck. I abruptly opened my eyes, and I turned my face to look at her frowning and aghast. I didn't have time to say anything because she pulled me into a deep kiss, placing her hand on my jaw. This wasn't feeling good, I wasn't feeling good; I was feeling weird. Yes, I always loved her lips and her kisses, but now it was feeling different; I wasn't feeling the same as always. And the difference was that before I was in love with her, and now I wasn't; she was only my friend, so this wasn't right. I softly pulled her away and I looked at her frowning and serious.

_**"This is not right, Freckles."**_ I said softly but in all seriousness.

She looked at me with eyes wide open and her lips parted, as if she was scared; then she looked down, nervously. She babbled some things I couldn't understand and then she stood up.

_**"I'm so sorry."**_ She whispered avoiding my gaze.

And she walked away really fast, going to my bedroom. I remained looking at the direction she walked away and then I looked down, sighing and pursing my lips. Why would she do something like that? We were friends now and we were fine like this. I didn't want to think she was now feeling something else for me, now that I was really sure I wasn't in love with her; now that I was sure I only wanted to be her friend. And her kiss didn't feel as amazing as always. I just didn't want to be more than her friend. Hopefully she was feeling the same, regardless of that random and unexpected kiss. This was going to be tough.

* * *

You walked to Darren's bedroom, feeling very astonished and abashed for what you just did. You couldn't believe you just kissed him. Why have you done that? Why? Everything was going well, and then you kissed him. And the way Darren looked at you was hurtful. He had to pull you away to stop you; he had to stop you. He was so confused, he was so serious; he didn't like it at all. Why were you so stupid? You were only friends; you agreed to be friends with him, you proposed him to be friends. And he rejected you; even if he had reasons to have done that, it felt rough to be rejected. You walked slowly to Darren's bed in which Brian was sleeping. You sat on the bed and you took off your shoes in silence, feeling really bad. Brian noticed you were already here, so he moved to give you room in the bed. You lay down in bed staring the ceiling, still very astonished for what you did.

_**"Brian?"**_ You whispered in the dark and silent room. _**"Are you asleep?" **_

_**"I'm not anymore."**_ He replied after a while with voice husky with sleep.

You didn't say anything, you turned on your side and wrapped your arms around him, resting your head on his chest and you broke. You started weeping in silence. Brian noticed this and wrapped his arms around you.

_**"Hey, what's going on, Sunny?"**_ He asked softly and concerned, while caressing your arm with his thumb.

_**"I just kissed Darren."**_ You answered still weeping. And then there was a very long silence that you thought that maybe Brian fell asleep again. _**"Brian?"**_ You asked with choked voice. You heard how Brian sighed.

_**"Why have you done that?"**_ He asked in a whisper.

_**"I don't know! I just felt this impulse of kissing him." **_You replied sobbing, burying your head on Brian's chest. There was another long silence and you could feel his heart beating fast.

_**"And... And what happened?" **_Brian asked in a whisper again, hoarsely.

_**"He pulled me away telling me this wasn't right. He rejected me, Brian! And I don't even know why I kissed him, but it felt rough anyway."**_ You replied crying on his chest as Brian started caressing your hair. Again, the silence. Why was he so silent?

_**"I though you agreed to be only friends..."**_ Brian whispered and that made you feel even worse.

_**"Yes, I'm aware of that, Brian! I told you, I don't know why I kissed him." **_You said frowning, still shedding tears but feeling troubled more than sad.

_**"Be honest, Sunny... Do you still feel something for him?"**_ Brian asked hoarsely.

_**"No... I mean, yes, I like him but just as a friend. He's funny, nice and he always makes me laugh. But I don't feel the same I felt for him when I was in high school." **_You answered in a whisper, still frowning. You didn't know what was wrong with you. There was another long silence.

_**"Do you feel attracted to him?"**_ Brian finally asked hoarsely as though he hasn't spoken in years. His voice kinda trembled when he asked this, maybe because he was trying hard to ask it in a whisper.

_**"He is... handsome."**_ You whispered and there was a very long silence again in which you felt how Brian tensed his body. _**"Yes, I might find him attractive, but no... I just don't like him as something more as my friend. No, I really don't wanna be more than his friend." **_

_**"So, in all honesty, what has led you to kiss him?"**_ Brian asked in a whisper, gingerly. You took a moment to answer, you had to admit it.

_**"I felt lonely, and he was the closest person and we shared so many things in the past... I'm just feeling lonely."**_ You replied honestly, weeping again and burying your head on his chest again, hugging him even tighter.

"_**What do you mean when you say lonely? Because as far as I know, you've got a lot of friends who love you."**_ Brian asked softly, caressing your hair.

_**"I know that and I love them, I really do. But I'm talking about having a man in my life to love and be loved. Since Ian I've been alone. And I just feel bad, I feel unwanted, I feel ugly, I feel like... there's no one. And I just miss having someone with who I can cuddle, I can caress and kiss and go to the movies and then to go out to have a dinner together, someone to talk, someone who can look fondly at me and tell me he loves me; I need someone with who I can have intimacy. I miss that romance. Now it feels as though I don't have any of that and it makes me feel really alone. Like, I have so much love to give but there's no one with who I can share it, someone who can love me back and can make me feel like a woman. I need a man; I need to feel that romance again. And I can't have it and it makes me feel really alone and sad."**_ You said weeping, admitting all your feelings. Brian stayed silent for a really long time.

_**"I do love you."**_ Brian whispered hoarsely and deeply, also with trembling voice, still holding you in his arms. You snorted anguished while still crying. _**"I think you're beautiful and you're the less ugly person I know. I think you're wanted; a lot of people want you. And do not think there's no one, because I'm here, so you're not alone."**_ Brian kept saying in a whisper, very kindly and still hoarsely. You wouldn't stop crying, he wasn't getting your point. _**"You have someone with who you can cuddle; I thought we were cuddling right now." **_He said and held you in his arms even tighter, resting his chin on your head that was still burying in his chest. _**"I can caress you."**_ He said softly, caressing your hair very smoothly with one hand and caressing with his thumb your arm that was wrapped around him. _**"I also can kiss you..." **_He said very hoarsely and with trembling voice as he kissed your temple. You were crying even more, this wasn't helping you although this was very nice from him. _**"And believe me, I'd kiss you all the times you need and want. And I wish I could have the money to take you to the movies... But you've got imagination and I've got writing skills, so we could create our own movie and it would be way better than going to the movies. I also wish I could have the money to take you out for dinner together, but I could always cook for you, something you like, and make you think we're in a very luxury and amazing restaurant." **_He said really sweetly.

You wept even harder, feeling really bad because he wasn't understanding and also feeling really moved by the way he was trying to make you feel better anyway with all his gentleness and humility. He didn't have so many things but he'd give you everything of him anyway and this was very thrilling and sweet; but you couldn't help feeling bad.

_**"You can always talk to me, I love when you do that and I really love talking to you. I could spend hours just talking to you and that would make me really happy. And we have intimacy when we share our deepest dreams, fears, thoughts and feelings. And now try to look into my eyes..."**_ Brian said amiably, placing a finger on your chin to lift it. You tried to look into his eyes but it was very dark. Anyway, you noticed the twinkle in his eyes as he held your hands. _**"I love you."**_ He whispered hoarsely but fondly with choked voice.

You stayed silent for a long time, just looking into his eyes and crying. Yes, you loved him too, but this wasn't what you meant. He wasn't getting your point and this was making you feel even worse. You just buried your head on his chest again and kept crying as you felt how Brian's heart was beating fast. He cleared his throat.

_**"You can share your love with me. I'm willing to receive your love and to give you mine; and we could have our own romance."**_ He whispered fondly and hoarsely again while his heart was beating just as fast if not even faster. And again, you didn't say anything; this was really making you feel worse although you were aware that wasn't his intention. _**"We could write a romantic novel, I write it and you design the cover of it."**_

_**"Brian..." **_You whispered weakly while still sobbing. _**"I really love you and I really love all you said and all you're saying to try to cheer me up..." **_You started saying feeling really bad because you didn't want him to think that all he said was in vain because he didn't get your point. _**"I really love and I'm very thankful for all the things you always do for me and for all the things you're willing to do for me. I know you love me and I know you'd give me all of that. But you're my best friend, and what I meant is that I feel lonely because I want a boyfriend. I need the love of a boyfriend."**_ You finally explained what your point was, trying to make it sound as soft as you could. _**"Don't get me wrong, I really appreciate your love as my best friend and I'll never change that; you'll always be my best friend. But I need a boyfriend."**_ You added and Brian stayed silent for a really long time and you felt how his body tensed.

_**"Right..."**_ He whispered with cracked voice. He didn't say anything else and his body was really tense.

_**"Please, Brian; believe me when I tell you that I really appreciate all you said and I love that. Do not think I don't appreciate all the things you do for me, because it's not like that."**_ You said feeling really guilty, because you knew he was probably thinking that by the way you answered him as though you didn't appreciate all his kind words.

_**"I know."**_ He whispered again with cracked voice. But, again, he stayed silent.

_**"Brian..."**_ You said distressed, still feeling guilty.

_**"I know, Sunny, I know."**_ Brian said again, clearing his throat. _**"I know you love me as your best friend; that you appreciate all the things I do and say as your best friend; and I know I'll always be your best friend..." **_

_**"Yes."**_ You said smiling softly but still feeling a bit distressed.

_**"And I do understand that you want a boyfriend and not a best friend to give it all to you." **_Brian whispered hoarsely and a bit sadly.

_**"It's not so like that..."**_ You said sighing anguished. _**"I also want to receive it all from my best friend, that is you; and I also want to give it all to you. But I... I need..." **_

_**"You need a boyfriend to feel completely loved, like a woman."**_ Brian said for you.

_**"Exactly."**_ You replied gloomy in a whisper and Brian stayed silent for a long time.

_**"Sunny, you really don't need a boyfriend or any guy to make you feel loved and like a woman. You only need yourself."**_ Brian started saying softly. _**"You may think that being single is very sad and lonely; but I think no one owes you happiness because happiness comes within you. You may think that being single means that nobody wants you; but I think it means you're taking your time deciding how you want your life to be and who you want to spend it with; not being satisfied for any random guy that is not worthy of your love. You have to realize that your life is full and that you're very content and happy right now with all the things you have, materially and emotionally talking; and that's with or without a man." **_He said very kindly while still holding you in his arms and caressing your arms with his thumbs as you were listening to him, still shedding tears. _**"You don't need a man to rectify your existence. The most profound relationship we'll ever have is the one with ourselves. You don't need to be loved, not at the cost of yourself. The single relationship that is truly central and crucial in a life is the relationship to the self. Of all the people you'll know in a lifetime, you're the only one you'll never lose. So, you can explore the universe looking for somebody who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and you won't find that person anywhere." **_He kept saying just as sweetly.

This time you rested your chin on his chest to try to look into his eyes. You could notice the twinkle in his eyes again. You wiped away your tears as you were intently listening to him. You could also notice a slight smile on his face as he placed one hand on your jaw and caressed softly your cheek with his thumb.

_**"The reality is that you don't need a man to be happy. You only think you do, and you need to find out why you feel that you do; because, after all, the wonderful thing about love is that it's all around us, all the time. It's not locked in one person or one thing, it's everywhere."**_ He said yearningly, still caressing your cheek with his thumb.

You placed your hand above his and you took it to your lips to kiss it as you started shedding tears again, but this time it was because you were feeling thrilled. You moved up, closer to him so you could kiss his cheek and then caress it.

_**"Thank you, Brian. Thanks."**_ You said with cracked voice, looking into his eyes. _**"You have no idea how much I needed to hear this. Thank you; I honestly don't know what I'd do without you, Bri."**_ You said again with cracked voice and you wrapped your arms around him again, resting your head on his shoulder as he held you in his arms tightly. _**"I really love you."**_ You whispered against his neck and he shivered.

_**"I love you too, Sunny." **_He whispered with trembling voice as he leaned to kiss your temple. _**"I really do. So much." **_

* * *

Next morning I woke up moody because apparently Joey was having a nightmare and kicked me out of bed. So, I didn't wake up on the wrong side, I woke up on the floor which was even worse. This was going to be the last time I was going to sleep in his bed; I decided that I was going to buy blankets so next time I was going to sleep on the couch. I got up from the floor and I looked at Joey, he was still fast asleep. I wanted to punch him, but I let him sleep instead. Maybe a coffee was going to help me to change my mood. I started dressing up and I heard sounds coming from the kitchen that scared me. Right. Freckles and Brian were here; probably they were already awake and they were having breakfast. Thinking about this led me to think about the kiss Freckles gave me last night. Man, this was going to be awkward now. I really wanted to be her friend because she was a cool person; but shit, I didn't want more than that. Maybe I shouldn't be so affectionate with her because maybe being this way with her was confusing her so she couldn't distinguish the limit. Damn, I didn't want to go to the kitchen and stay with her right in this moment because I knew I was going to feel uncomfortable. But oh, I was so starving and I really needed my morning coffee. First I went to the bathroom and I peed and brushed my teeth as I washed my face and tried to tame my curls. Then I walked slowly to the kitchen. Oh whoa! What was all of this? Breakfast was already made. There were already four coffee mugs and four glasses of orange juice. And there was also food: four dishes with pancakes with bacon and eggs on the side; there was a bowl with butter croissants, a bowl with strawberries, a bowl with banana slices, a bowl with cookies, and a bowl with donuts. This was something I wasn't expecting at all. I looked around but no one was in the dining room; I walked slowly to try to see if there was someone in the kitchen, but no one was there. What the hell was this? Who has done this? We didn't even have all this food. I walked to the table and I noticed that in the top of each pancake, each one of our names was written with whipped cream. I recognized the handwriting, it was from Freckles. So, Freckles has done all of this but she wasn't here. This was creepy but also very nice from her. Why would she do all of this? And where was she? I sat on the chair that was in front the dish with the pancake with my name. And what now? Should I wait for the others? I looked around again; still, no sign of anyone.

_**"Is anybody here?"**_ I asked like a fool in the empty room. Of course, no one answered.

Okay, it seemed that no one was going to come and I was starving; so I grabbed my coffee mug and I took a sip of it. Oh man, this was fucking delicious! How would Freckles remember that I loved coffee with steamed milk and chocolate syrup? It's been a long time since I drank this coffee and I loved this. Then I grabbed my dish of pancake with bacon and eggs and I moved it closer to me. When I did it, I saw a lot of notes under it. Curiously, I took the first note. Yes, it was definitely from Freckles; I recognized it because of the amazing drawing. It was a cartoon of a sleepy bear in pajamas with a nightcap with a talk balloon that spelled:

**"Good morning, sleepyhead! I hope this can help you to start a peppy morning! If I were you, I'd start eating a banana slice and a strawberry." **

I smiled slightly when I saw this and then I looked at the bowls of strawberries and banana slices, but I didn't take any of them, I just put that note aside to read the next one. It was the same sleepy bear in pajamas with a nightcap but this time the bear was frowning and it had another talk balloon that spelled:

**"Mr. Criss, I'll be a sad bear if you don't eat a banana slice and a strawberry before continuing reading the notes. Would you want to see a sad bear?" **

I read that frowning in disbelief and I laughed softly. How the heck would she know I wasn't going to do that? Man, this was absurdly weird. I looked around to see if Freckles was here, but she wasn't. I was alone. Anyway, I grabbed a banana slice and a strawberry and I ate them.

_**"Okay, I've done it!"**_ I spoke with my mouth full like an idiot in the empty room.

No one answered and no one came; so I grabbed the next note. The same bear was there, now with a huge smile and with the thumbs up. This time, the talk balloon spelled:

**"Well done, Darren! By the way, my name is Mr. Fluffy and I recommend you to take a sip of your coffee. You really don't wanna choke with the food, do you?" **

_**"Hey, what if I didn't do what you asked me to do?"**_ I asked in the empty room, knowing that surely no one was going to answer.

And in fact, no one answered. So I just took a sip of my coffee as I started reading the next note. Mr. Fluffy was now sitting with a coffee mug in his hands and it had glasses because it was reading a newspaper. I laughed slightly when I saw this drawing, this was very cute.

_**"Trying to be intellectual, Mr. Fluffy?"**_ I asked amused looking at the bear and then I read what was in the talk balloon.

**"It's always cool to read the newspaper in the morning. Oh look! The news is talking about you! If you want to know what it says, you first have to eat a butter croissant." **

And I did it, as if I was actually talking to that cartoon. I didn't even care if I looked like a fool, this was a very odd way to start the morning and I liked it. I ate a butter croissant and it was really delicious. Then I took another sip of my coffee before grabbing the next note. This time there wasn't a talk balloon. This time Mr. Fluffy was showing me the newspaper and there was a cartoon of Freckles. Geez! That cartoon was truly amazing and funny! Anyway, right next to the cartoon of Freckles there was something written with the same letters that newspapers use.

**"Confidential sources have informed us this morning about an event happened recently. A girl whose nickname is Freckles has spoken to the media to bring us a message for certain short boy." **

_**"Hey! I'm not short! I'm just a tall hobbit!" **_I exclaimed laughing and then I kept reading.

**"The name of the boy is Darren Everett Criss and if someone knows him, it'd be helpful if you let him know that he must read this. This is a matter of life or death." **

_**"Whoa! So serious!"**_ I exclaimed amused.

The note didn't say anything else, so I grabbed the next note. It was the bear looking at me with eyes wide open, so open that was scary and cute at the same time. There was a talk balloon again that spelled:

**"Darren, that is you! Are you ready to know what the message is? You must be ready because it's a meaningful message." **

_**"I am ready, Mr. Fluffy!"**_ I exclaimed loudly in the empty room.

I smiled widely because this was very entertaining and funny; then I grabbed the next note. This time there was only the cartoon of Freckles with a talk balloon that spelled:

**"Darren, I want to apologize from the bottom of my heart for what happened last night. I'll be honest and I'll admit that I've done it because I was feeling lonely and I let myself carry away by the feeling of having someone so close to me in that moment. I wish you could forgive me. I know it was wrong because you're only my friend and we are fine like that. I wish you can keep being my friend and I promise I won't do it again. You're truly a friend for me and I hope that what happened last night didn't change it. I'm so sorry."**

When I finished reading it, I read it again and then I remained looking at that. So this all she has done was only to apologize to me. Well, this was a very original and very cute way to apologize. And even if I'd have preferred to see her face while telling me she was sorry, this was very sweet and this was something that only she could do; so I was fine with it. I looked around to try to find Freckles.

_**"Freckles? Can you come already?"**_ I asked and my voice echoed in the empty room. She didn't answer and she didn't appear. "_**Freckles, come on."**_

Again, she didn't answer. I just sighed and looked down. I waited a little more for her, but she didn't appear. Then I noticed there was still another note. I grabbed it and I saw it. There was the cartoon of Freckles with sad eyes and it was looking another cartoon. That was me, man! I laughed softly when I saw my cartoon; it was really funny and awesome. She exaggerated each one of my features, enhancing my curls, my eyes, my eyelashes and my triangle eyebrows. There was a talk balloon for Freckles that spelled:

**"Would you forgive this fool girl?" **

And then there was another talk balloon from my mouth. But that talk balloon was empty. I frowned slightly. Why wouldn't it say anything? Then something scared the crap out of me. A pen appeared in front of my eyes. I turned my face to look behind me and there was Freckles, handing me the pen with a slight smile on her face.

_**"Damn, Freckles! You scared me!" **_I exclaimed with a nervous giggle. She didn't say anything at all, so I frowned. _**"Well, I wanted to say that..."**_ I started saying but Freckles interrupted me by placing her hand on my mouth.

I looked at her frowning, very confused and she insisted with the pen while she was shaking her head. Then I got it. I had to write my answer in the talk balloon. So I grabbed the pen and I stared the drawing for a while before start writing.

**"I forgive you. So do not think you can get rid of me so easily because I'm gonna be your biggest pain in the ass, my friend. Now, would you accept a hug from this goober?" **

I handed the note to Freckles and I observed her while she was reading it. I could see a very thankful smile on her face when she was doing it. Then she looked at me sweetly and she didn't say anything, she just leaned to hug me and I pulled her closer to make her sit on my lap while hugging her tightly. She rested her chin on my shoulder.

_**"Thanks for forgiving me, Darren." **_She whispered in my ear.

_**"Thank you for doing all of this."**_ I whispered in her ear, still hugging her. _**"This was a really good way to start the morning. I loved Mr. Fluffy."**_ I said laughing softly and she giggled before parting the hug. She looked at me with bright eyes and a joyful smile.

_**"I'm glad, because..."**_ She said mysteriously and I looked at her intrigued when she stood up and walked to the couch. I haven't noticed that there was a box. Then she walked to me again. _**"I have this present for you."**_

_**"Have you got me a present?"**_ I asked amused as she was handing me the box. She nodded with a cheerful smile. _**"I feel bad because I didn't get you anything."**_

_**"I got your forgiveness and that's enough for me." **_She replied with the same smile, still handing me the present. I finally grabbed it.

_**"Okay, let's see what's in here..."**_ I said amused as I opened the box.

When I opened it, I laughed. Actually it was very cute, but I laughed anyway because of her ideas. There was a teddy bear with a heart that spelled 'Forgive me' and she placed a note there that said 'Mr. Fluffy.' This was very cute. This was the very first time a girl gave me a present like this. I looked at Freckles with a kind smile as she was looking at me joyful.

_**"So? Do you like it?"**_ She asked.

_**"If I like it? Hell, no. I love this! I think I've got a new friend called Mr. Fluffy."**_ I said still laughing as I hugged the teddy bear and Freckles laughed.

_**"I'm glad because Mr. Fluffy was desperate to know you in person. He wouldn't stop wishing to be your friend. I know he's in good hands now."**_ Freckles said smiling widely and I looked into her eyes. She was really sweet.

_**"Can I hug you again?"**_ I asked amused, still looking into her bright eyes.

_**"What kind of question is that, mister?"**_ Freckles asked amused, frowning. I just left the teddy bear on the table and I stood up to pull her into a very tight hug. _**"Darren, you're choking me!"**_ She exclaimed exaggeratedly and I laughed, but I kept hugging her that way.

_**"Mr. Fluffy just taught me how to give bear hugs!" **_I exclaimed loudly, rubbing my cheek on her cheek. After a while I parted the hug but I kept placing my hands on her waist while looking into her eyes, smiling. _**"You're so cute, Freckles. Thank you for all of this! This is totally awesome, really."**_

_**"Thanks."**_ She said smiling kindly while placing her hands on my shoulders.

I just remained looking into her eyes, thinking how sweet she could be, how beautiful she was and thinking how happy I was to have her as my friend. Her eyes were radiating happiness and I couldn't take my eyes off her, this was weird. I mean, how could she bring me so much happiness by just looking into her eyes? Only her. I was about to say something, but I was interrupted. Thankfully; otherwise I was going to screw it.

_**"Oh my dead lord! Look at all of this!"**_ I heard how Joey exclaimed amazed.

I was still looking bewitched into Freckles' eyes until she drifted her gaze to Joey and giggled. So then I finally came to reality again and I looked at Joey, now letting out Freckles' waist. I was very close to have screwed it. Joey was looking at the table very astonished and happy.

_**"Look at this shit! A pancake with my name! Hey guys, look! It has my name! I feel so special right now."**_ Joey exclaimed like a little kid, sitting on the chair that was in front of the pancake with his name.

_**"You're special, Joey!"**_ Freckles exclaimed cheerfully walking to him to give him a kiss on his cheek. _**"Good morning."**_

_**"Good morning? Awesome morning to you!" **_Joey exclaimed happily as he hugged Freckles by her waist while he was sitting and Freckles was standing.

_**"Morning guys! Oh wow!"**_ Brian exclaimed loudly, also astonished when he saw the table. _**"Hey! My name is on that pancake!" **_He exclaimed as a little kid just as Joey has done. Brian walked towards Joey and Freckles. He first kissed Freckles' cheek. _**"Good morning, missy."**_ He said friendly and then he looked at Joey; and then he high-fived Joey.

_**"Good morning, bro."**_ Joey greeted.

"_**Hey, I wanna be a bro too!"**_ Freckles exclaimed in between giggles.

_**"Come on, bro-sis! Give us a high-five!"**_ Joey exclaimed cheerfully and Freckles high-fived Joey and Brian at the same time as they all started laughing.

I was just there standing, looking at them happily. This was amazing. Look at them all getting along; I'd have never imagined it a month ago. And look at Freckles. All colorful, all happy, all beautiful, all nice and sweet; and all sexy. She was very different, yet I liked her, I really liked her; there was something new she didn't have before, something positive... She was just so... So... Oh no, I shouldn't be thinking about this.

_**"Hey dude, come and join us!"**_ Joey exclaimed with his mouth full of pancake, looking at me.

_**"Yes, of course."**_ I said smiling widely. I couldn't remember the last time I had such a great morning like this one.

I was about to sit and start having breakfast with Joey, Freckles and Brian but someone knocked the door. Who could be? We weren't expecting anyone. Maybe it was a neighbor; maybe it was Meredith or any of our friends. I just walked to the door while Joey, Brian and Freckles were talking joyfully, too busy to pay attention to the door. I opened it. Oh what the hell? I wasn't expecting this at all!

_**"Chuck?"**_ I asked completely amazed, frowning because of the surprise and smiling widely because of the sudden happiness.

_**"Stupid little bro!"**_ Chuck exclaimed laughing as he pulled me into a hug.

_**"Oh man! What are you doing here?"**_ I asked still amazed and really happy, placing a hand on his shoulder.

_**"Well, mom and dad told me that you moved. And considering I had free days and I haven't seen you in a while, I just decided to come over to see your stupid face for the weekend." **_Chuck answered still smiling.

_**"Oh, fuck! This is awesome!" **_I exclaimed merrily.

Then noisy laughs came from the dining room. In between all the laughs, the most boisterous laughter was Freckles' laughter. This caught Chuck's attention and he popped his head to see what was happening inside and who were there, because he surely thought I was only with Joey. When he got to see who was there, he frowned and got serious.

_**"Is that...?"**_ He asked disturbed.

_**"Yeah..."**_ I replied uncomfortable, looking down and biting my lips. _**"That is Freckles."**_

Yeah. Chuck still didn't know I met Freckles again this year because I haven't told him anything because he was kind of overprotective. He was still thinking that I was very sad because I could never find Freckles last year. He witnessed how desperate I was when I was searching her and I couldn't find a damn shit. He was still thinking that Freckles was a bad person because she completely disappeared from my life, even if I tried constantly to explain him it wasn't so like that. He inevitably compared that to the experience he had to go through in his first year at college, when his ex-girlfriend cheated on him and abandoned him. He didn't like Freckles now.

_**"What the hell is she doing here?"**_ Chuck asked rudely.


	46. Debating

A/N: Hello everybody! How are you doing today? I bet you are checking the new Darren's songs. I listened to some of them and they are totally awesome! I loved them! Well, maybe I'd admit there's one I didn't like so much, but it's just my crazy mind. What do you think? I think Once Upon A Time became one of my favorites; of course Not Alone will always be my favorite one because it means a lot to me. Which one was your favorite? Now that I shared my excitement, let's get back to the story. Umm, what can I say? I'm super happy that you liked Mr. Fluffy, it was a random idea I had and I thought it could be cute, because sometimes I can be cute and sweet and all cheesy, right? And I'm happy that you appreciated the Starkid references; of course someday I'll write about them doing AVPM for the first time, but remember we're still in 2006. Then... Chuck! Chuck is back! But let's see what happens, because apparently he wasn't so happy to see Freckles because Darren didn't explain him anything. What else? Umm, W... Yeah, well, W won't appear so often and W may or may not appear in person again, that's a secret. Oh yes! I almost forget... I'm very glad that you liked seeing how now Darren, Freckles, Joey and Brian seem to get along and be friends; maybe it'll last or maybe not; probably yes, but my mind is crazy and its opinion can change in any second. So, I think that's it all. Ah, yes! I had a pretty amazing birthday because my parents gave me a huge, very huge chocolate cake; it was pure chocolate, so you can picture how excited and happy as a bunny I was. Well, enough about me. I'll start answering your reviews!

amritsoomal: Aww! I really hoped you could like the last chapter. That time I wanted to write something funny and also something sweet, hence why the Starkid/Harry Potter references and Mr. Fluffy. Yes, Darren needed to get over her, so maybe they can start again! I thought it could be interesting writing about Darren rejecting her, because it was always Freckles the one who rejected him and that was kind of unfair, right? Anyway, I think they'll have a lot of ups and downs and comings and goings. Oh, I'm glad you're fine with Brian now! Yes, I always wanted to make them be friends, but I could make them be friends since the beginning because Darren didn't know him too much and well, remember that Brian was part of the Team W, even if he was forced to be there and even if he was also being bullied. Brian can have Freckles now? Well, you really changed your mind. Well, yes, Brian will get Freckles, but as best friend and Freckles, as a best friend, will give him the happiness he deserves; or not, I don't know! Actually i know but I won't give it away. Chuck! Aww, I missed him too, so I wanted to bring him back! Oh, uh! How would Chuck act around Freckles? Aww! I'll send you virtual pancakes and a teddy bear. Does it count? Now, Joey's hook up? You really wanna know? Okay, I'll give you a clue based on your suspicions: They all will be a happy family. With this, you'll surely know who it was. Your theory about Jim getting a plastic surgery to become the teacher is completely and absolutely amazing! Seriously, I wonder why I don't have such imagination! But... Umm, it's something almost similar. Thank you very much for you blessing! I did have a really good birthday! And now that you mentioned it, I don't feel so bad about my age. I obviously prefer 23 Darren Criss! haha, oh lord, that would be epic!

Guest: Yes! I really wanted to write about Harry Potter and Starkid, because after all I'm a fan like you! I think it was something funny to add to the story, we needed funny things. And just because I'm a fan, I'll definitely write about the musical. I noticed you mentioned several times 'find'. Oh my god! Are you a Hufflepuff? Now I find it very interesting! haha. About Darren and Brian being friends, I always wanted to write that, but we needed time because they couldn't become friends all of a sudden; first something needed to happen, and this thing of W helped them to get closer. The same happened to Freckles, except from that awkward moment as you said; but I they'll be friends, only that not like any common friend. I'm very glad you liked Mr. Fluffy! I loved it! I mean, it was very cheesy, but I swear that if someone does that for me, I'd die because it's cute. Yes, I know, poor Brian; but he's also somehow guilty; because he could tell her his feelings, but he doesn't do that, so he has to deal with his decisions, this is what he wanted somehow. Wow, I don't wanna be rude on Brian. Yes, he is very nice. He will be happy someday, promise. However, maybe he's not gonna get another love interest, but there's gonna be a person who's gonna help him to get over Freckles and of course it'll take a long because he's deeply in love with her; but that person will help him a lot. Oh, I don't think Freckles would ever figure out by herself that everything that Brian says is meant in another way; she was always oblivious to other people's feelings. And thank you a lot for giving me a virtual piece of your strawberry rhubarb cake and the virtual chocolate cake! That's what I call fucking delicious!

Emma: Yes! Soon (we're still in 2006) they'll perform AVPM for the very first time! I need to write about it, right? I mean, it's about the Team Starkid! I'm a huge fan, as you surely are! Yes, Chuck is back! I wanted to bring him back because... well, because it's Chuck and I like him! Aww, I'm glad you fele special and happy because of that! And I'm glad I did help you somehow! That's the attitude, you can do that! Oh my wizard god! You got accepted to Julliard! Oh jeez! Are you serious? It's freaking Julliard! You know, I don't know so much about Universities there, but Julliard... Everyone in the world knows about Julliard because Julliard is the most awesome performing arts conservatory! You really, but really, need to go there! Don't let go this one chance you have! You said it; they only accept 20 freshmans each term. Hey, I'm sure your boyfriend will understand; I mean, he needs to know how important this is for you; so if he loves you he will understand; yeah, I won't deny it'll be hard, but he should understand. I don't wanna meddle so much about that, because I'm afraid to say something inappropriate. You just have to go to Julliard; this is a really amazing opportunity you have. I mean, come on! Do you have any idea of how many people want to get accepted to Julliard? Okay, I think I'm very excited for you and I probably shouldn't be telling you what you should do! It's all up to you, it's you decision; but for what you said I think you want to go there. Whoa! I'm totally rambling; that's what happens to me when I get excited about something. And I like you too, so of course I care, because I love talking to people and I love when people talk to me and tell me things! Now about the concert, I swear I was going to ask you, because I thought about you, it's like you can read my mind! I was almost sure that the concert was going to be epic! I listened to some songs and I like them! Of course it's not the same to listen to them from your computer with a crappy quality than to listen to them live; because even the atmosphere is different, besides the fact that you were there, seeing him and listening to all the comments he always says in his concerts. I'm so glad for you! I'm glad that you got that chance and that you enjoyed it! And thank you a lot for thinking about me and letting me know! That was really nice :)

Vcriss: Wanna know a secret? I want to see Darren and Freckles together again! However, I think the part in which they're friends, but they flirt at the same time and they have comings and goings it's the most interesting part. I mean, it'd be boring if they get back together very soon, they first need to flirt a lot, because I like when they flirt! It's like writing about them falling in love again; like the process can be very interesting, maybe. And maybe, after all of this progress, they'll be even more passionate and adorable as a couple; with new things involved; because let's remember they don't live with their parents now! So that's gonna be different. And about Freckles feeling lonely; I think she first needs to know how to be alone and not feel lonely, she still needs to learn that before getting a new boyfriend, or a significant other, or friend with benefits, or any other kind of relationship.

Vicky: Thank you a lot for wishing me a happy birthday! I really did have a very good one, not big deal, but I was surrounded by family and friends and I can't ask for more! I'm really glad I made you laugh, more considering that you needed that! I'm also, obviously, very glad to know that it was one of your favorites; although it had a bit of drama, it was more sweet and funny, so I liked it too, we needed something like that. Oh yeah, they will do the musical! Not yet because we're in 2006; but I'll write about it because I'm a fan of AVPM, after all. I'm just a little bit afraid to write something terrible and screw it up, but I'll take the risk! I must admit that I enjoy writing about Brian, Darren, Freckles and Joey being friends; it's like I like them as a group of friends, they'll have a lot of moments together; hopefully it'll last! It's weird that Darren and Brian are friends, isn't it? I mean, after all that happened in high school and how they couldn't stand each other... Yet, I think they could become good friends. Sometimes, in real life, those people you didn't like in your past become your friends and those people who were your friends in your past become just acquaintances. Yes, I agree with you about Freckles: it's understandable why she did what she did, yet Brian was right about the things he told her; she needed to hear that; thing is whether she's gonna be able to get that or not. Yes, Brian is trying to tell her how he feels about her, but Freckles is oblivious to that, therefore Brian cowers and says something different; maybe he's not ready yet because he can clearly tell she doesn't feel the same way he does and that's awkward. Aww, I loved Mr. Fluffy; I mean, that was a random idea once I had and I thought it could be cool to add it to the story; besides, I didn't want Freckles to apologize in a conventional way, so Mr. Fluffy was a good excuse! haha. Yes, Chuck is back and I like that because it's Chuck! And I agree with you, Darren made a bad decision, he totally should've told him about Freckles. Oh yeah, maybe the situation between Chuck and Freckles will be a bit awkward and let's see how long it takes Chuck to understand everything for real or what kind of thing is gonna happen to finally make him see how things are; everything won't happen in only one chapter. You're the first one who asked about Chuck and Brian; you'll get your answers in this chapter; but yes, Chuck never talked to Brian before but he knows about his existence since Brian was part of the Team W. So, if I tell you that you have this ability and your friends tell you the same, it's because you... You're a real witch! And that's totally awesome! It must be very cool to have that ability to guess a lot of things! And don't you dare to apologize for long reviews! I love them!

MeMi83: Dun, dun, dun! You're right! Ah the plot twists! They're my favorite next to the cliffhangers! Unfortunately I kinda lost my ability with cliffhangers; therefore I have to resort to the plot twists! Oh yes, as you said, things were going too merrily and something needed to happen; I guess in part I do this because I'm not good at making something interesting when everything is good and sweet and very quiet and cheery. I have the action and drama in my veins; and I'm highly influenced by drama movies or thriller books. Oh yes! I wanted Freckles to apologize in an unusual way, I didn't want to make it be conventional; after all, Freckles is a creative person and I wanted to show that. So, Mr. Fluffy appeared and I don't know how I came with that idea, but I'm satisfied with it! I mean, I'd love if someone ever does that for me, wouldn't you love it too? Ah! Because Freckles was never good at noticing other people's feelings; I guess she is still not used to guys having deep feelings for her and because Brian is her best friend; and sometimes, in real life, this happens. Sometimes a friend feels something more for you and you never notice because you just think that is the way they are with you because they love you as you do. It'll be a bomb the day Freckles finds out Brian's real feelings for her. So I'm glad you felt the tension, because that is what I want to show: how uncomfortable and awkward a situation like this can be. And you wanted Freckles to get the hint? Oh, that would be risky. Oh, Darren is always gonna be a mess when he's around Freckles; the same would happen with Freckles; they just can't forget because I think what they had in the past was unique; they won't stop feeling confused until they get to know other people and in that moment, other things will happen, new kind of feelings. I did have a beautiful birthday; I spent it with my family and friends, so it was nice! I hope you like huge chocolate cakes; because that's the kind of piece of cake I'm sending your way! Warm fuzzies and colorful candies!

PotterHead62: hahaha yes! It's very complicated and they'll be having this comings and goings all the time. Freckles wants Darren and Darren doesn't want her; then Darren will want Freckles but Freckles won't want him; and like this on until they both, simultaneously, decide whether to be together or not. Thing is eventually they'll make this decision; actually it's not gonna be a decision, it'll just happen. But be patient, things must happen first. I feel so frustrated right now because I can't post links. It was a huge hot chocolate with a face shaped smiley cookie. Anyway, hopefully you can picture how delicious it was; and I'm glad to know that you're a little better and hopefully you'll be fully better. I knew that deep down I had a little bit of sweetness left. Oh yeah, maybe Chuck will screw up things; and he and Darren and he and Freckles will have to talk about this; let's see how that's gonna be. Thank you very much! I'm so happy to know that you're enjoying the story despite the hideous things I sometimes write!

wujoka: You returned with your fadizzle! I love that, I think I told you that! I made you be paranoid! I must say that I love your imagination and you made me giggle like a fool! The note to Darren you thought W would write? That is amazing! Give me some of your imagination! Poisoned food? I never thought about that and that's actually a pretty cool idea! I could use it someday. W is everywhere! So beware! Maybe W is hiding under the bed, like the monster which lived under our beds when we were kids. Or maybe... Maybe... W got the formula to minimize his/her/their size and is now living in one of Darren's curls! Or maybe, W got a perfect costume to look exactly like Chuck, and the one who's at the door isn't Chuck and that is W! Oh! Paranoiac too much? If I'm foreign? Did you mean the country where I live? Or am I getting it totally wrong? Because, you know, I'm one of those kind of people who tend to always, but always, get things wrong; I think I have problem; it's my crazy mind that makes me think things that aren't! Anyway, if you meant about the country where I live, then yes. I'm from Argentina! If it wasn't that, then you'll have to explain me because this stupid mind of mine thinks the shit it wants and doesn't understand questions! Oh, if only you knew how often that happens to me, sometimes it's embarrassing. And now, that was such a great way to wish me happy birthday! I laughed like, I don't know, for several minutes when I read that! Too many awesome things altogether! haha and I loved the comparison you made with 'son of a constitution'! And flobby? I think I've never heard about that word before, but then next to it you wrote hothot, and then looks and then I understood! And hell yeah, that son of constitution! Dayum Darren!

alicegursk: First off, don't apologize because you couldn't review before! I completely understand! So, are you in Berlin now? Berlin? Such a beautiful place! Can you speak German? I bet you enjoyed being there and if you're still there, I'm sure you're having a blast! Why are you scared of me? If I'm a little poor innocent, very innocent girl! haha. W won't appear in person; not yet. And when that time comes, it's gonna be really wicked and terrible. It's not gonna be like in high school. So maybe you could be a little scared; but remember that deep down I'm a nice person, so don't stab me! Why aren't you gonna tell me things? Please, tell me, I'm suffering, this is a torture! Come on! Pretty please? (Trying to do the same Darren's puppy eyes and totally failing, looking awkward). I want to know! Let's make a deal, I'm pretty sure we can solve this with some kind of deal. Ready to hear my offer? I'll let you ask me whatever you want to know and I'll answer in all honesty if you tell me! I think it's a very good deal, what do you think? Don't punch yourself in the face, you're gonna break your nose! You really don't want to bleed, do you? If you punch your face, I'll be forced to not write cute and sweet things. Oh! I always wanted a pancake with my name! Nobody has ever done that for me! I'm a sad panda. Freckles and Darren: pure comings and goings! Is that accurate?

Nicole: Hi my son-reviewer draco-nicole! Ah, the Nancy Drew series! So many memories! What about the mysterious pool in Hogwarts? Or the Sherlock Holmes series? Or the mysterious Bermuda Triangle? Or the mysterious Atlantis? Okay, I think I'm rambling and I'm getting carried away. Haha, oh yeah, Darren will! And yes, she's gonna be nice and funny; he deserves that, after all! I'm trying to find those parts of the magical land "bathroom", I think I'm getting closer; and I'm gonna find you and your first years friends! Ahh! It's so hard to choose only one option! I don't know, I don't know! Umm, maybe I could go with... I'm a year more awesome, because if I'm more awesome, I can get the other things. Oh wait, maybe that would work if I choose to be a year wiser. Ah, I'm having so many troubles to choose. I guess I'll have to think better about that. Maybe wiser, I'd like to look like a smart person. I don't know! haha. A belated cake sometimes tastes even better, so thank you a lot! You said that, better late than never! So don't worry about that! The chapter! It was a mix of feelings, right? The part I enjoyed writing the most was the first part, with Harry Potter and Starkid references; and also Mr. Fluffy. And Chuck, hell yeah! I wanted to bring him back because I missed him in the story; just as Mandy appeared, Chuck needed to appear! Do you really have a stuffed animal named Mr. Fluffy? Oh my wizard god! This is too much coincidence. I'm starting to think that I've been given the power of reading minds or seeing private things of some people. Aww, you stuffed dog is surely so nice to hug and all; I just love teddy bears or stuffed animals. Forever keeping the little kid inside me. Thank you! Actually my exam went good after all; I was very surprised about that! I siriusly won't explode because I want you to read the end of the story! Siriusly! Sirius! Where are you Sirius? Hugs and butterfly kisses for you, my son-reviewer draco-nicole!

That was all, guys! Now, about this chapter… Oh! I only wish you don't find it boring. It's very different from the others because I don't know why the day I wrote it, I was very… philosophical. So, it's weird and well… I don't know what to say. You'll meet this… "Philosophical" side of me. Besides, with this "debate" they will have, I want to show how their personalities are now. I don't know, I hope you don't get bored! So, everything said. Now, till next Saturday, lovelies! Warm fuzzies, bright suns, and colorful butterflies!

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**Teenage Dream – Chapter 46 – Debating.**

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_**"Hey, bro, this is not what you think."**_ I said looking fixedly at Chuck who was still looking at Freckles kinda angry.

_**"You haven't answered my question."**_ He said rudely again and he tried to step inside, but I placed my hands on his shoulders to stop him.

_**"Stop, Chuck."**_ I said firmly and he finally looked at me. He was indeed angry and also confused. _**"Yes, Freckles is here and she's my friend. I tried to..."**_

_**"Why haven't you told me you found her?"**_ Chuck asked furious.

_**"I tried... I..."**_ I started answering awkwardly. How was I supposed to explain him all of this? _**"I actually thought the best would be if... I needed to tell you this in person, Chuck."**_ I said sighing.

_**"She shouldn't be here and mess around again."**_ Chuck said pointing at Freckles, furiously.

_**"Chuck, you don't even..."**_ I said frowning, but he interrupted me.

_**"What does she want? To appear again, fuck you up and then shit you and run away as she has done before?" **_He asked rabidly, speaking a bit louder.

_**"No...No, it's not like..." **_I started complaining, frowning and feeling nervous because I didn't know how to explain. But Chuck interrupted me again.

_**"I won't let her hurt you again... I won't let her! She must go."**_ He said roundly and harshly, looking at Freckles.

_**"What?"**_ I asked incredulous, frowning and starting to feel annoyed. _**"No... Chuck, no..."**_

_**"She won't mess here, not again."**_ Chuck said coldly and rudely. _**"And isn't that the asshole who harassed you in high school? What the fuck is wrong with you?"**_

"_**Brian… Yeah… Chuck, it's a long story. He isn't an asshole, he's my friend."**_ I answered very annoyed and also uncomfortable.

Yeah, for Chuck, Brian was still one of the bullies who harassed us like hell in high school; I never told him that he was actually being harassed like us and that he helped me when I thought Freckles was W. For Chuck, Brian was just the asshole who deserved the worst.

"_**I'm gonna punch that asshole!"**_ Chuck said furious, clenching his jaw and closing his fist.

"_**You won't do that, Charles. He's my friend just as Freckles is."**_ I said serious.

"_**They will leave."**_ Chuck said coldly and determined.

He attempted to walk in to walk straight towards Freckles. I tried to stop him and we struggled a bit, but he ended up winning me. He finally walked in and even if I tried to cling to his back and even if I tugged his t-shirt to stop him, he managed to push me away. Fuck, no! Chuck was really mad and he didn't even know how things were; this was bad. Freckles finally looked up and saw Chuck walking to her. She smiled widely and surprised. Damn, damn, damn. Freckles was surely thinking that Chuck was glad to see her, because that was what I told her once.

_**"Chuck?"**_ Freckles asked with the same widely smile.

Chuck didn't say anything at all. Freckles stood up and ran to Chuck to pull him into a hug. Chuck tensed and frowned, he was still upset and the hug surprised him; I knew he didn't like this. I bit my lips, I looked down and I ran my fingers through my hair; feeling very nervous, uncomfortable and troubled.

_**"Oh my god! It's been a while!"**_ Freckles exclaimed cheerfully still hugging Chuck.

Chuck softly pushed her away. Freckles remained looking at him happily and Chuck looked at her coldly, so she frowned slightly, apparently confused, but still smiling. Oh, crap, please Chuck, do not say anything stupid.

_**"Yes, it's been a while because of your fault."**_ Chuck said coldly and Freckles' smile vanished. _**"I remind you that you were the one who disappeared. My brother has been looking for you for a whole damn year like an idiot and now you have the boldness to appear again as if nothing ever happened? How dare you?"**_ Chuck said very harshly.

Freckles was looking at him astonished and aghast, frowning and agape. Chuck's words were rough and hurt her, I knew that. I bit my lip harder as I started scratching the nap of my neck, nervously. Freckles looked down and Chuck remained looking at her coldly. In the meantime, Joey and Brian were observing the situation confused and bewildered.

_**"I won't let you mess in my brother's life again."**_ Chuck said rudely and Freckles remained looking down and frowning, pursing her lips. _**"And you, asshole…"**_ He said rudely, pointing Brian as Brian looked at him surprised, raising his eyebrows and with a confused face. _**"You better get the fuck outta here."**_ Chuck said menacingly and Brian frowned in confusion and embarrassment.

_**"Enough, Charles."**_ I said firmly. _**"Guys, would you excuse us a minute?"**_ I asked looking at Freckles, Joey and Brian. Joey and Brian nodded in silence and Freckles didn't do anything. _**"Come with me, Charles."**_ I said bossy.

_**"I won't go anywhere until this girl over here goes away, as well as that asshole."**_ He said harshly.

_**"I said come with me, Charles!"**_ I yelled annoyed.

Chuck huffed and looked furiously at Freckles and Brian before turning around and walking towards me. I looked at Chuck upset and I indicated him to go outside. When Chuck walked outside, I closed the door behind us so no one would listen to our conversation. He was looking away, still furious.

_**"What the hell are you doing, Chuck? You shouldn't have talked that way!"**_ I exclaimed upset.

_**"She is messing here! She's gonna hurt you again, Darren! I won't let it happen!" **_Chuck replied loudly, also upset.

_**"She's not messing here, because I invited her. And she's not gonna hurt me again, and if she ever does it, well, it's my problem, not yours!"**_ I pointed firmly and annoyed.

_**"I'm trying to avoid something that surely is gonna end in a bad way! I am taking care of you, Darren."**_ Chuck said frowning.

_**"I'm not a little kid, Charles!"**_ I yelled furiously and exasperated as he looked at me astonished. _**"I can take care of myself and I'm responsible of all the shit I decide to do or not with my life. You said she shouldn't mess, well, you also shouldn't mess, Charles. This is my life and not yours. It's time for you to stop being so overprotective as if I were five, because I am not."**_ I said very irked.

_**"Sometimes you act as if you were five. You're not making good decisions, Everett."**_ Chuck said coldly.

_**"And sometimes you act as if you were mom or dad and you're not. And what if sometimes I act as if I were five? I'm fine this way and I'm proud of what I'm doing. I just want you to stop meddling in all of my decisions. This is what I want, get it? I want this!"**_ I yelled angrily.

_**"Why do you want to be hurt again? Because that girl and that asshole are gonna get that! What the fuck is wrong with you?"**_ He yelled also angrily.

_**"I don't wanna be hurt again! You have no idea what happened between Freckles and me, as well as you have no idea what happened between Brian and me, thus you're not in position to decide what is good or not for me! So stop acting like an ass, being rude with her and Brian because they don't deserve it and because you have no idea of what happened!"**_ I yelled rabidly.

_**"Am I acting like an ass because I'm trying to protect you?"**_ He asked incredulous, frowning.

_**"Yes, you're acting like a real ass! And I do not want you to protect me, goddammit!"**_ I exclaimed exasperated and irritated. _**"If something bad comes to happen to me, well, fuck that! I don't fucking care and I won't regret anything because at least I made things as I thought it was fine for me! You cannot always be here, trying to tell me what to do or not, because I've got my own life and I want to live it my way, with all the mistakes and shit I could do; I don't care! I want that. So stop!"**_ I yelled really upset and Chuck looked at me huffy.

_**"I'm doing this for you, to see you fine."**_ Chuck said looking down, speaking low.

_**"If you wanna do something for me to see me fine; please stop being like this with me and do not treat Freckles and Brian in a bad way."**_ I said this time softening my voice. I looked down, sighed and then I looked at him again. _**"Chuck, you're my bro and I know your intentions aren't bad, but I need to do the things I want and if I make a mistake, good then, I'll learn for next time; but I don't need you to be so protective. I know what I'm doing, or not... But for now this is what I want to do."**_ I said looking at him as Chuck was pursing his lips and nodding, still looking away. _**"And Freckles..."**_ I started saying and Chuck looked at me very serious, frowning. _**"Really, you shouldn't have treated her like that. She's an amazing person, very nice and funny. And we've already talked about what happened; she told me everything, I told her everything and we're really fine now. She's only my friend, Chuck; she's different now and I like her but I'm not in love with her anymore and she isn't in love with me either."**_ I explained, finally calming down as Chuck looked away again. _**"You should give her a chance to show you how she is now. You'll see I'm right, you'll see the kind of amazing person she is and you'll see we're gonna be only friends." **_

_**"I don't know..."**_ Chuck answered curtly, still looking away.

_**"Please, Chuck. Do this for me. I really like Freckles and I really wanna be her friend. I feel good when I'm with her and I know we won't have anything but a friendship and that is what I like the most."**_ I said softly and almost in a supplicant way, looking at him fixedly.

_**"Alright, fine. But I'll do it only for you because that is what you want. But if I notice something suspicious, I swear I won't hesitate to tell her all I think about her."**_ Chuck said warningly.

_**"You don't know her anymore, Chuck. Come on, you'll see she's different now."**_ I said smiling because at least Chuck was going to try and that was hard. _**"And I really think you should apologize to her and Brian."**_

_**"I won't apologize. I don't regret what I said."**_ Chuck said roundly.

_**"Yes, you should really regret. They didn't deserve that and you have no idea all the things Freckles does for others and for me. She made me smile again, Chuck; so you should regret." **_I said seriously.

_**"I'll think about that..."**_ Chuck said determined and I sighed in frustration. But I should be proud, because at least he didn't keep refusing so strongly.

_**"Fine, I take your words." **_I said nodding.

_**"Hold on, there's something I don't understand."**_ Chuck said frowning.

_**"What?"**_ I asked gingerly.

_**"You've spent a whole year looking for her and she was nowhere. But then she appears here out of nowhere. And as far as I remember you wanted her back even if I tried to make you see she wasn't for you, whatever... Now she's here, at your apartment; and you told me you've talked to her... So, considering this all... Why have you told me that you're friends? Why do you say now that you aren't in love with her after all that year you've been suffering for her? And why has she appeared? How did you find her? Why is she in Ann Arbor?"**_ Chuck asked curiously and confused. Whoa! Those were a bunch of questions.

_**"Oh well! She's in Ann Arbor because she also attends the University of Michigan; she's here to get a B.F.A. in Interarts Performance. I didn't find her because I wanted to; she was Meredith's roommate and thanks to Meredith I saw her again."**_ I started explaining and Chuck was confused, just as confused as I was when Freckles told me she was studying that. _**"I'm not in love with her because she's very different now; some things of her haven't changed but too many things have. You saw her, physically she looks completely different, she is now sexier and more extravagant, quirky, colorful and self-confident; and her personality has changed a lot, she's not the girl with whom I fell in love with. And we're just friends because I still like her and she's nice, funny, kind, friendly, humble, smart, sweet..."**_ I started saying thinking about Freckles with a smile and when I noticed I was saying too many things, I shut up. _**"Okay, whatever, you'll meet her now. And she's only my friend and we've talked about this and we agreed this is the best and we're glad about it. Neither of us wants to have something more than a friendship because we prefer to be only friends not to screw all the good memories we have together. So, yeah, that's it."**_

_**"I get it, but... Don't you have any feelings for her now?"**_ Chuck asked suspiciously.

_**"No..."**_ I answered looking away. Of course I lied and of course Chuck noticed, so I decided to tell him the truth. _**"Maybe yes, I do have feelings for her and I'll always have feelings for her because she was my first love. But I do not feel the same way I felt when we were dating in high school; those feelings are just a memory. I like her; I like her too much, but just as my friend. And I think that's a cool thing."**_ I said shrugging and Chuck nodded.

_**"Alright."**_ Chuck answered.

_**"So, do you promise to treat her friendly, Chuck?"**_ I asked concerned.

_**"No, I won't promise that. It's ridiculous because I know I won't be capable to act friendly with her, I just can't. I still don't like her and nothing is gonna change my mind. But I promise I won't treat her so rudely; only because of you, not because I want to."**_ Chuck answered in all honesty and I sighed.

_**"Alright, that's something..."**_ I said kinda frustrated, but well, at least he was going to behave. Hopefully. _**"Come on, let's get in."**_

Chuck only nodded and we walked to the door again and I opened it. I was kinda nervous because I honestly didn't know how Chuck was going to act, but he promised me not to be rude. When I opened the door I could notice that the atmosphere there was fraught. Joey looked at me and widened his eyes, raising his eyebrows and pursing his lips. Then I looked at Brian and Freckles who were standing, Brian with his backpack and Freckles with her purse. This wasn't a good sign. I needed to fix this somehow.

_**"Okay!"**_ I exclaimed very loudly and trying to sound cheerful but truth was I was uncomfortable. Nobody answered and nobody smiled. _**"I know this didn't start in a good way, but Chuck and I have cleared up some things so... Yeah, let's start again, okay?"**_ I said trying to sound positive and cheerful. Nobody said anything at all and everybody was avoiding eye contact. _**"Hey Chuck! Look, Freckles is here!"**_ I exclaimed loudly sounding like an idiot.

_**"Darren, this is not necessary."**_ Freckles suddenly said, firmly. _**"I understand what happened, so I think the best would be if Brian and I just return to our room. So thank you for everything, now we're just gonna leave."**_ Freckles said determined and I looked at her disturbed and then I looked fixedly at Chuck as letting him know he should do something about, but he did nothing. _**"Chuck, I hope you can enjoy your days here and I hope Darren doesn't force you to continue unpacking the moving boxes."**_ She said trying to sound a bit funny, but I knew she wasn't doing well and more when Chuck avoided her gaze and seemed he was ignoring her. _**"Have a good day, guys."**_

With that, Freckles started walking towards the door. Brian didn't follow her, but after a while he sighed, greeted me with a nod and sad smile and walked behind Freckles. Shit, Chuck should have said something, this was his fault. I ran towards Freckles and I took her hand to stop her, but she let out my hand and kept walking; so I quickly stood in between the door and her before she could open the door. Freckles didn't look at me, not even when I placed my hands on her tiny shoulders.

_**"Freckles, please don't go."**_ I begged in a whisper.

_**"Sorry, Darren, but this is the best for everyone. I don't want to turn this into an uncomfortable situation. You should enjoy your time with your brother, I bet it's been a while since the last time you saw him, and Brian and I are just bothering here and I get it. So, please, stop making this scene and let me go." **_Freckles answered in a whisper, avoiding my look; but I still kept my hands on her shoulders.

_**"I don't want you to go."**_ I said in a whisper.

_**"But I want to. So please, move aside."**_ Freckles said firmly, still looking down.

_**"I won't move aside."**_ I answered just as roundly as I placed my hands firmly on her waist. She finally looked up at me, frowning.

_**"How could you have done this to me, Darren?"**_ She asked in a whisper, sizzling with her teeth, still frowning.

_**"Do what?"**_ I asked also in a whisper, frowning in confusion.

_**"It's not proper to talk about that here right now. Just let me go."**_ She whispered, still frowning. She seemed to be vexed.

_**"What's wrong?" **_I asked in a whisper, still very confused.

_**"What's wrong?"**_ She asked in a whisper, in a sarcastic way. _**"We'll talk about this later, now stand aside."**_

_**"We'll talk about that right now."**_ I said firmly and I took her hand strongly as she struggled to let out my hand, but she couldn't. I looked at everybody very serious. _**"Guys, please excuse us for a moment."**_ I said roundly.

Everybody nodded and I started walking with Freckles, holding strongly her hand as she was still struggling to let out her hand; but she tried to remain controlled, not making any childish scene. I needed to know what was wrong with her, why she seemed to be upset with me, and besides I didn't want her to go; not before she and Chuck could at least talk a bit. I knew Freckles was hating me in this moment, because she was very serious, frowning and pursing her lips while looking away; but she didn't say anything and she behaved like a mature and controlled person. I took her to my new bedroom and I locked the door once we were inside. Once I was sure she wasn't going to go anywhere, I let out her hand and she looked at me annoyed. It was time to talk.

* * *

You were sitting on Darren's bed and he was sitting right next to you. Both of you were silent and neither of you were looking at each other. Darren was still waiting for you to tell him what was wrong with you and you really didn't want to talk now because you were moody.

_**"Freckles, please, tell me what I've done to make you want leave."**_ Darren demanded softly, placing his forearms on his thighs and clasping his hands, looking down.

You didn't answer; first you needed to calm down because you didn't want to say anything that later you were going to regret. So you remained propping your chin on your hands, in silence. Darren sighed and moved closer, wrapping his hands on your wrists. This forced you to look at him; he was looking deeply into your eyes.

_**"May I know, please, what I've done?"**_ He asked softly.

_**"You lied to me."**_ You finally answered and then you looked down, but before you could see him frowning in confusion.

_**"I lied to you? Why do you say that? I haven't lied to you."**_ He said confused, making you look at him again.

_**"Yes, when we were in Munising you told me that your family missed me around, that they still considered me as part of the family. How could you have lied to me about this?"**_ You asked sadly and Darren looked at you still frowning with his lips parted.

_**"I haven't lied to you. They still consider you as part of our family, they miss and love you."**_ He answered and you huffed, shook your head and looked away.

_**"Sure. And for that Chuck has told me all of that. You let me make a fool of myself out there. I thought he missed me but he didn't; and I missed him, and you let me hug him while he only wanted me out of your life. Do you have any idea of how stupid and bad it made me feel only because you lied to me?"**_ You asked in disbelief, feeling hurt, now looking at Darren who was now looking down.

_**"I really haven't lied to you. My mom and dad still ask for you and they miss you. Chuck... Chuck is a special case. It's not that he hates you or something; it's just that he's very overprotective with me that he saw how hard I was trying to find you last year, he saw how bad I was feeling when I couldn't get anything about you; so well... He just thinks you're gonna hurt me again, so... He's just very overprotective, but he has missed you."**_ Darren replied uncomfortable and you looked at him blankly.

_**"Darren..."**_ You whispered while sighing. _**"I'm not a fool. If you're saying that only to make me feel better; well, stop because it isn't working. I was there when Chuck saw me; I hugged him and I noticed how uncomfortable he was feeling; I saw his face when he pushed me away and I heard his voice when he told me I was the one who disappeared and when he said he wasn't going to let me mess in your life. And all of that didn't sound as though he has missed me; that sounded as if he couldn't stand seeing me. And that's alright; even if it makes me feel bad, I understand."**_ You said looking down, feeling a bit sad. _**"So stop saying those things, Darren."**_

Darren didn't say anything; he surely knew you were right. He moved even closer to you and his legs touched yours very slightly. He wrapped an arm around you and he placed one hand on your shoulder and with the other hand he held your hands. You looked at him and you saw his hazel eyes looking at yours.

_**"I really didn't lie to you. If Chuck reacted that way is because he was surprised to see you. And yes, I won't deny the fact he wasn't so happy to see you, sorry. But it's not because he hates you, it's because of the fact he relates what happened to us to what happened to him with his ex-girlfriend when he started college, so he's worried. I tried to explain him that our story has nothing to do with his, but he's on guard all the time because he's overprotective. That's what I talked to him minutes ago and he understood you're important to me; you really are; so he told me he was going to try to work on his obsession of acting like a parent over me. That's all, I swear."**_ Darren said very softly and gently, still holding your hands and wrapping his arm around you, looking deeply into your eyes._** "I'm sorry if I made you feel bad, that wasn't my intention; I'd never want to make you feel like that. I really, but really, don't wanna argue with you like this."**_

_**"We're not arguing, Darren. I don't want it either. We're just talking in an honest and mature way. I don't know if you can notice I'm not the kind of person who argues over everything as before; I've changed that; even if sometimes I lose my temper and I tend to be like a crazy and intolerant bitch. But this isn't the case. I just felt uncomfortable and I'm letting you know that, that's it."**_ You answered quietly, looking into his eyes and he looked at you amazed, looking intensely into your eyes for a long time. _**"And I didn't know that about Chuck and I understand him; I understand you, but I have a doubt... What have you told him about us? Because he told me I was the one who disappeared; and yes, I did, but I had reasons and any other person would have understood them. So, what have you told him?"**_ You asked curiously, frowning.

_**"I told him the truth. I told him the same I told you, the truth of what happened: that Jim appeared that night and threatened me with a gun, forcing me to leave you, forcing me to write that note. But he wouldn't stop thinking that you... Well, that you were the one who wanted to disappear from my life."**_ Darren answered looking at you sadly and you could notice he was being honest, even if you still couldn't believe that story of Jim.

_**"Okay, I get it."**_ You answered nodding. _**"But still, even if you've talked to Chuck, even if I know how things supposedly are... I feel uncomfortable right now, being here; and Chuck would feel uncomfortable too; and if we're uncomfortable, everybody is gonna feel like that and I wouldn't want it. I really think you should enjoy your time with your brother and that's not gonna happen if I'm here. So, I still think I should go." **_You said determined, trying to let out Darren's hands, but he kept holding them, now tighter.

_**"And I still think you should stay. That's a problem, isn't it?"**_ He said looking deeply into your eyes.

_**"Yes, that's a problem."**_ You answered nodding and smiling faintly. _**"Listen, Dare..."**_ You said sighing and you felt how Darren squeezed your hands and his eyes twinkled. _**"We have all the time we want to be together, after all we're living in the same city and we're attending the same University. How many times do you have the chance to have your brother here? I bet it doesn't happen so often. So really, I should go. I won't feel upset, I won't feel offended, and I won't feel bad. I think this is the best, honestly."**_ You said smiling slightly, looking deeply into his hazel eyes.

_**"Well, it turns out that I think the best thing that could ever happen is if I have my bro and you at the same place."**_ Darren said, looking fixedly at you and moving even closer to you, so now your bodies were touching.

_**"Why?"**_ You asked frowning, intrigued. Darren remained silent for a while and then he took a deep breath before answering.

_**"Well, because... Chuck is my bro, and I miss him, and I love him even if sometimes he gets on my nerves and I want to kick his ass... And also because you... You're my best friend... You really are. And I... I love you too."**_ Darren answered thoughtful as though he was trying to find the right words to say. You were looking intensely at him, feeling a bit thrilled because of his words. Were you his best friend? _**"So... Yeah, what would be better than spending a day, and maybe the whole weekend with two people I love? And also with Brian, who's like our bro now. I would... I'd really love that and I won't get it if you don't agree staying." **_

_**"That's wonderful, what you said. But I'm doing this because of Chuck. I really don't want to..." **_

_**"You don't want to make him feel uncomfortable. I know, you've already said that and it's something very sweet from you to always make everybody feel comfortable."**_ He interrupted you and you nodded. _**"But I've told you already I've talked to Chuck about this and he understands what you mean to me; he understands we're friends now. So, hey, he also shouldn't make you feel uncomfortable. He promised he wasn't going to make you feel uncomfortable and now I know you don't want to make him uncomfortable; so I don't see what the problem is."**_ He said smiling slightly and shrugging. _**"Besides... I won't stop trying to convince you to stay and you know I'm stubborn and I won't stop till I get what I want. So... You're gonna stay or... You're going to stay." **_

_**"Is there any option?"**_ You asked frowning, a bit amused and his face brightened.

_**"No, actually. I'm afraid there are no options for you."**_ He said smiling amused. Then he leaned and kissed your cheek in a very warm way. _**"So, you're staying here and we're gonna have breakfast all together and we're gonna eat and talk happily till the end of time." **_Darren said cheerfully and you giggled softly.

_**"Okay, I think I've been forced; so I'm staying."**_ You answered amused, looking into his eyes and he smiled brightly.

He didn't say anything; he only pulled you into a tight and warm hug. He rested his chin on your shoulder and he rubbed your back in a very smooth way. This was a nice hug and of course, you hugged him back. It was good to have this relationship with Darren.

_**"I love you."**_ He whispered friendly in your ear, still hugging you. This surprised you and you couldn't help smiling.

_**"Love you too."**_ You replied, also in a whisper. He broke the hug to look into your eyes.

_**"Do you?"**_ He asked with bright eyes.

_**"Yes, I do."**_ You answered smiling warmly.

Darren remained looking intensely into your eyes with his bright hazel eyes for a while, without saying anything. Then he leaned and moved his face closer to yours and you suddenly felt a bit nervous and uncomfortable, feeling that stupid ticklish on your stomach. Why were you feeling so weird? What was he doing? Your faces were really close. You thought he was going to kiss you and you were feeling very nervous. And he did kiss you, but on your cheek. Then he moved his face away and looked at you with a huge smile while you were still feeling super weird. Damn.

_**"Let's go, I'm pretty sure we'll have a really good day."**_ Darren said joyfully and you just nodded while gulping.

He stood up and held your hand to help you to stand up. You walked to the door still holding hands as you were trying to stop feeling in this weird way. And like this, you left his bedroom and walked into the dining room, ready to start the day with Chuck. Hopefully, everything will work out with him.

* * *

_**"So, that's why I think that nowadays no one can live without a mobile phone; no one really can live without a computer, without internet. I mean, it's fantastic how we can be connected with other person even if we're distant. If we miss someone because that person is away, then all we need to do is to call them or chat with them, it's all there. That's fantastic. I think that a phone or a computer or those amazing electronics are essential for our lives. We cannot live without them."**_ Chuck said very excited looking at his new phone.

_**"There you're wrong, Chuck."**_ Freckles suddenly said contradictorily and everybody looked at her frowning.

Joey, Brian, Chuck, Freckles and I ordered pizza for dinner and were eating it in the living room while talking. It was really good how Chuck behaved all this time. He really didn't talk too much to Freckles or Brian, but at least he didn't treat them in a rude way. When Freckles and I left my bedroom after talking, the situation was still tense and very uncomfortable; but after having breakfast all together and after talking a bit, the situation wasn't so uncomfortable. Chuck told us about his experiences in college and all the things he has learned. He even asked Freckles what she was studying and Freckles started telling him the reasons why she decided to study Interarts Performance, just the same reasons she told me. Then Chuck asked Brian what he was studying and I felt surprised by the way Brian was talking, he seemed to be very smart, cultured and enlightened; I couldn't get why he wouldn't be able to get a better scholarship if he seemed to have a lot of knowledge. Then Joey and I talked about our own stuff. So, we spent all the day just talking, talking and talking. I was feeling really good to be able to be all together.

_**"Am I wrong? Why do you think I'm wrong?"**_ Chuck asked frowning, serious. Well, this was going to be the first time that Chuck and Freckles were going to talk directly, and I sensed this was going to be a debate.

_**"Because I think those things aren't essential for our lives. What is essential is invisible to the eye."**_ Freckles said convinced.

I knew what was going to happen now; the philosophical Freckles was going to show up; with all her craziness, convictions, thoughts and reflections about life and simple things. This was a new part of the new Freckles, a part of her that I still didn't know too much but that was really intriguing. I loved when she talked this way; but I wasn't sure if being like this right now was going to be a good idea. When Freckles showed her philosophical side, she used to be very passionate and hasty, and she tended to talk in a loudly, fervent and hotheaded way; and if you didn't know she only talked that way because she loved exchanging point of views, everybody would misinterpret her and would think she's being aggressive, obstinate, insolent and haughty. And Chuck didn't know this, so he was probably going to argue with her and was going to feel really upset with her. I couldn't allow it now that they were moderately fine.

_**"Alright! What if we talk about something else?"**_ I exclaimed loudly, nervously.

_**"So, are you trying to say that a phone or a computer aren't useful and are stupid? Because I can see your phone right there, and if you were so convinced that a phone isn't important, then you wouldn't have one."**_ Chuck said, completely ignoring my commentary. Yes, he also liked to debate.

_**"No, I'm not saying that a phone or computers aren't useful and I don't think they are stupid. I have a phone precisely for that, because it's useful."**_ Freckles said quietly and Chuck was looking at her frowning. _**"What I'm saying is that they aren't essential, we're only used to those things. And I'm saying that human beings now tend to think we cannot live without those things and that's ridiculous. Back in the Ancient history, they didn't have those things and they could live, and they were the greatest inventors and philosophers; they are the basis of our knowledge and culture; and they certainly didn't get that with a phone or a computer. Great human beings are those who feel that the spiritual is stronger than any material force, and it is ideas that rule the world." **_Freckles said very convinced and firmly, and she was starting to speak louder.

_**"Okay... What if we watch a movie?"**_ I asked trying to do something else. Brian and Joey looked at me amused because they knew I wasn't going to get it.

_**"You cannot compare our age to the Ancient history; because society has changed, the culture has changed, lifestyles have changed, man's relationship with nature has changed; politics has advanced, society has advanced, the economy has advanced, the art has advanced, science and technology has advanced; humanity has evolved. Are you against progress?" **_Chuck asked just as convinced as Freckles.

_**"I'm not against progress and I embrace all the new discoveries and advances. But to what extent we believe that progress and technology is more important than human beings? Because you said that a computer and a phone are essential, leaving out what is really important that is the human being. So I wonder... Have we really reached the point where machines replace human beings?"**_ Freckles asked philosophically, raising an eyebrow and looking fixedly at Chuck in a way that seemed to be an aggressive way, even if I knew it wasn't like that.

_**"I know about a game we could play..."**_ I commented vainly because I knew they weren't going to stop. Joey and Brian giggled softly, looking at Freckles and Chuck very entertained.

_**"You are taking my words out of context. Yes, I said that a computer and a phone are essential to the life of this society in which we live, but I've never said these things are more important than humans. You should admit that a phone is an essential need for this society in which we live now." **_Chuck said also looking fixedly at Freckles, almost challenging. He was also speaking louder. I knew that Freckles wouldn't leave it there; I knew she was going to fight for her convictions.

_**"You're wrong again, Chuck."**_ Freckles said firmly and loudly as Chuck looked at her incredulous, raising his eyebrows and getting upset. I only bit my lips and looked down. Oh well, here we go... _**"To society are imposed, in a homogeneous way, a series of artificial needs, seeking only comfort and so the human being is chained to it. This society, which is able to reduce a man to a commercial piece, is produced by industrial society. This capitalist society is an one-dimensional society, which has been able to destroy the spirit of revolution, that desire for social improvement, and has reduced the human feelings to superficial pleasures, unnecessary and personal, propagated by the production system that currently is no longer responsible for satisfy real needs."**_ Freckles spoke in a very convinced way and she was starting to seem arrogant and obstinate; even if that wasn't her intention. Chuck was looking at her frowning, apparently upset. Brian and Joey were looking at Freckles interested in what she was saying and I just wanted to go away. _**"With the industrial revolution, people began to be alienating slaves to the rhythm of the machines, which were the ones that made the laws and times of their lives. The labor movement was maintained with little force and unions fought essentially to obtain material advantages. Because so much pressure and the high level of industrialization, most of them ended up losing their personality and becoming, metaphorically, in machines."**_ Freckles said very loudly.

She said it all in a passionately way that seemed to be almost cynical and still aggressive. Chuck was looking at her displeased and he tried to refute some things, but Freckles wouldn't let him talk because she was too excited exposing her point of view. This only made Chuck feel even more annoyed and irritated. Brian and Joey were still entertained, listening intently to what Freckles was saying. I was also interested in what she was saying and she had a point. She said it all in a very persuasive way; she was very cultured and it was amazing to listen to her. But I was more worried for the way this debate could end.

_**"We have progressed very quickly, but we have jailed ourselves. The machinery, which creates abundance, has left us in want. Our knowledge has made us cynical. Our cleverness, hard and dry. We think too much, feel too little. More than machinery we need more humanity. More than cleverness we need kindness and gentleness. Science and technology, in revolutionary society, must serve the permanent release of the humanization of human beings."**_ Freckles said very loudly and very secure, vigorous and ablaze. _**"And that is why I think that phones or computers aren't essential, because what are essential are human beings themselves."**_ Freckles said smiling widely. _**"So, what's your point of view?" **_She asked looking at Chuck.

Everybody looked at her stunned, amazed and agape. Even Chuck was speechless. He didn't seem upset anymore and, instead, he seemed to be very impressed; looking at Freckles like bewitched and delighted. He glanced at me furtively with a look like 'What the hell?' and I shrugged. I looked at Freckles who was still expectant to hear Chuck's point of view with a huge smile. I looked at her and I smiled. Man, she was awesome; she was very smart, cultured, self-confident, and wise; but also humble, kind, and straightforward; and besides all of that she was funny and pretty and sexy. What the hell was she? Of course she had a lot of weaknesses; but what the hell. I never felt prouder of being her friend.

_**"Well, that's a very interesting point of view."**_ Chuck admitted, nodding and smiling slightly. I couldn't believe he actually smiled at Freckles. This was amazing. _**"Yet, you're so exaggerated and you took my words to heart. I was only saying that is amazing to be able to connect with people who are distant thanks to phones and computers. Only that." **_He said giggling and Freckles also giggled. And of course, everybody laughed.

_**"Sorry, my heart tends to rule my head when it comes to debates. I just like that."**_ Freckles answered smiling widely and shrugging.

_**"That's okay, I like that too." **_Chuck said also smiling.

Then he looked at me in a 'Whoa! I'm impressed' way, smiled and nodded; I just looked at him in a 'I told you she was cool' way. Well, I was very thankful this didn't end in a bad way as I thought.

_**"Can I opine something?"**_ Joey suddenly asked.

I looked at him abruptly, as telling him 'Shut the fuck up'. I was glad this ended in a good way, but I didn't want them to start another debate, even if it was cool to hear Freckles talking, exposing and defending her point of views. But it was too late, because everybody was now looking at him intrigued and Freckles' face brightened when she heard Joey had something to opine.

_**"It's very cool and impressive all that shit you said about humanity, machinery and materialism." **_Joey said serious, looking at Freckles and she was only smiling cheerfully and looking at him curiously. _**"But what if actually this all we're living is just a big dream? What if we think we are living, but actually we aren't living because this is not real?" **_Joey asked still serious but it was obvious he was joking, so everybody laughed. Well, thanks god he only was joking.

_**"That's so absurd."**_ Chuck said still laughing.

_**"Actually, I think that what Joey asked is not so absurd. Actually, I think he has a point, a very interesting point." **_Freckles said serious. Oh no, what the hell?

_**"I'm pretty sure Joey was joking."**_ Brian commented amused. He knew Freckles more than me now, so he already knew that Freckles wanted to start a new debate.

_**"I was."**_ Joey commented in a giggle.

_**"How come, eh?"**_ Chuck asked amused and challenging, ignoring all the comments. Oh no, not again!

_**"Guys, are you sure you don't want to watch a movie?"**_ I asked as trying to change the topic of conversation. Joey and Brian laughed at me.

_**"Yeah, like... How do you define the real?"**_ Freckles asked frowning, very thoughtful.

Chuck was now looking at her very interested in what she had to say. Now he was surely going to meet the other side of Freckles. He recently discovered the philosophical and theorist side of Freckles, the one that was very cultured with a point of view based on history, culture, thoughts, society and facts. Now he was going to meet the crazy, eccentric, absurd, surrealistic, bizarre and highly imaginative side based on her perceptions, emotions, hypothesis, and paradoxes. I wondered how Chuck was going to react to this side of her, one of the things that have changed of her; because Freckles wasn't like this in high school; before everybody knew she was logical and wise, but no one knew this creative side of her. Not even me. I knew just a little of this new side of her for what we talked in Munising; but I still didn't know so much. So I needed to admit I was also intrigued to know what she was going to say.

_**"Because if you're talking about what you can feel, what you can smell, what you can taste and see, then real is simply electrical signals interpreted by your brain."**_ Freckles started explaining, still frowning as though she was deep in thought; what made her look as if she were exploring her subconscious. Then she looked at Chuck fixedly. _**"Have you ever had a dream that seemed so real? What would happen if you couldn't wake up from that dream? How would you differentiate the dream world from reality?"**_ Freckles asked looking fixedly at Chuck.

_**"Well, I only have to open my eyes and find myself in my bed, remembering in a very diffuse way what I recently thought it was real, to then return to the routine of my real life and do the real things I use to do in my real life. Actually it's not so hard to differentiate the dream world from reality."**_ Chuck answered with an amused smile.

_**"Is that your theory?"**_ Freckles asked frowning.

_**"Yes, that is my theory."**_ Chuck answered firmly and almost vehemently, still amused.

_**"So, you're saying that reality is a series of routine actions we use to do; and is this series of routine actions what allows us to differentiate the world of dreams from reality."**_ Freckles said but not as statement, but as wondering it.

_**"Kind of..."**_ Chuck said frowning.

_**"Hmm, I see. And what do you guys think about this?"**_ Freckles asked now looking at Brian, Joey and me.

Brian, Joey and I exchanged looks of surprise and hesitation, we all were clueless. I honestly had no idea what to answer because I was thinking this was a little absurd topic of conversation; besides I never thought she could ask us what we thought; this was a debate only between her and Chuck. But there she was, expectant to hear some kind of opinion. Brian was the first to talk, thankfully; because this was going to give me time to make up something.

_**"Well, to answer this I will refer to the book The Social Construction of Reality written by Peter Berger and Thomas Luckmann. The central concept of The Social Construction of Reality is that persons and groups interacting in a social system create, over time, concepts or mental representations of each other's actions, and these concepts eventually become habituated into reciprocal roles played by the actors in relation to each other. When these roles are made available to other members of society to enter into and play out, the reciprocal interactions are said to be institutionalized. In the process of this institutionalization, meaning is embedded in society. Knowledge and people's conception and belief of what reality is becomes embedded in the institutional fabric of society. There exists an objective reality and a subjective reality, both of them constructed by society. Reality is therefore said to be socially constructed."**_ Brian started explaining in a very reasonable and rational way. I looked at him with eyes wide open. Why was everybody so cultured here? Fuck Brian, I was expecting him not to be as clear-headed as Freckles. This wasn't helping; I was feeling like a fool. _**"There are different points of view about reality. John Keats would say that nothing ever becomes real till it is experienced, even a proverb is no proverb to you till your life has illustrated it. José Ortega y Gasset would say that there are as many realities as points of view. Hegel would say that all that is real is rational and all that is rational is real. Piaget would say that knowing reality means constructing systems of transformations that correspond, more or less adequately, to reality." **_Brian said quoting diverse writers or philosophers, I didn't know. _**"I advocate the theory that reality is something that human beings construct in society with a particular culture, collective memory, thought, tradition and lifestyles constructed and accepted in the context in which we live. The reality is the construction of a set of shared values in a society to which we belong and with which we identify."**_

Damn, Brian knew a lot about that stuff of quoting other people in a very cultured way. How the hell would he know a lot about that stuff and those people? Right, he was studying something related to literature. Still, how would he remember each one of the things that each one of those people said? I was feeling like very illiterate next to Freckles, Chuck and Brian. Hopefully Joey wouldn't answer something as elaborate as them. Damn, what is reality? I wasn't one of those people who often think about the origin of the world, life and shit.

_**"Interesting point of view. So, you're saying something like we don't have an own reality, because reality is constructed by society and without society, a human being wouldn't have a concrete reality. Our reality depends on society and its beliefs and tradition. Right?"**_ Freckles said in an analytical way.

_**"It's not so like that... but yeah. After all, a human being lives in a society; you cannot analyze a human being without analyzing the context in which that person lives. A person, his ideas, his belief, his mores, his personality; are constructed in terms to the interaction with other people."**_ Brian answered quiet as Freckles was looking at him intently, smiling slightly.

_**"And you guys? What do you think?"**_ Freckles asked looking at Joey and me.

I started feeling the pressure of answering something I didn't know how to answer. I was sure that Joey was feeling the same, because he was just as silent as I was, and he seemed to be just as nervous and clueless as I was. But he spoke.

_**"I only wonder... What if the image of reality that gives us our eyes is only an illusion, an optical effect? What if we accept the reality, perhaps because we sense that nothing is real? What if we are ghosts meeting other ghosts in a ghost world? I only wanna be Casper the friendly ghost."**_ Joey said jokingly and everybody laughed. Well, he was obviously going to answer in a jokingly way because he was just like me in some aspects; he never wondered philosophically about that stuff.

_**"Interesting!" **_Freckles exclaimed still laughing. _**"What if I'm part of the Ghostbusters?"**_ She asked jokingly and mischievously.

_**"Then please, remember I'm a friendly ghost!"**_ Joey replied also laughing.

_**"I'll consider it."**_ She said with an amused smile and then her gaze fixed on my eyes. Damn. _**"So, Darren, what do you think?" **_She asked looking at me fixedly as I was feeling like an idiot.

_**"Umm, well..."**_ I started saying uncomfortable.

I was noticing the pressure of the looks of everybody directed to me, expecting me to say something. This was a torture; it was as though I were being examined by a jury and my verdict depended on my judgment and posture about what the hell I thought about what reality is.

_**"I think... I think reality cannot be explained as something reliable and concrete; so actually there's not really a definition of what reality is. No one can really explain what reality is because it depends on the way that each one of us lives life. I mean, my reality is not the same than your reality, or the reality of each one of you, or the reality of other people; only because there's the fact that we aren't the same, even if we are equals and we share some things in common." **_I started explaining, looking down trying to order the mess I had in my brain. I was still sensing the looks fixed on me, like 'I'm here to judge your nonsensical, pointless and lame theories'. _**"Umm, okay... This is a mess. But... I think we all live in a world of fantasy and imagination when we're children, and for some of us that world of fantasy continue as we grow. So, in terms that some of us still live in that world of fantasy as if we were still children; I do think that the key is in the game."**_ I started explaining while I was realizing that I actually had an idea of what reality for me was.

Everybody was listening to me intently and all of them were frowning; they weren't getting my point of view. Joey was smiling amused, surely because he was thinking that I had no idea of what to answer and I was answering in a very preposterous way, which was true at some point. Anyway, I kept talking.

_**"It's in the game and only the game that the child or adult as individuals are able to be creative and use their total personality; and only by being creative the individual can discover himself. And it's when we discover ourselves when we create our reality in our way, a reality that may be different from the reality of another person living with us, and although there are different realities in each of us, we always share a common reality; a reality that is socially constructed as Brian mentioned." **_I explained now more secure and excited.

Now I understood why Freckles always loved to debate about certain topics; it was exciting and very entertained; and also you could find more things about yourself that were always there, implicit within you. Now I finally understood why Freckles tended to speak louder and passionately; because this was something fervent that produced a feeling of satisfaction.

_**"And I do think that reality isn't something concrete and concise, because the reality is something that is being. The reality is something that is happening constantly as we live the reality. The reality is reality itself."**_ I explained in a really enthusiastic way, raising my voice but not on purpose. Everybody was looking at me as if I was crazy, but I didn't care. My theory totally rocked. _**"Therefore, I think you shouldn't believe anything they tell you what reality is, not even what I'm telling you, because reality cannot be told."**_ I said looking at Freckles and smiling proudly because of what I said. Freckles, who was frowning and listening to me very intently to try to understand my point of view, smiled widely at me.

_**"Well, it was a bit messy at first but then I finally understood your point of view. And I gotta admit that I find it very interesting, maybe it's accurate. Maybe your point of view it's not so different from my point of view, that's weird because I'm weird and therefore my point of view is weird."**_ Freckles commented frowning and thoughtful.

_**"Let the weirdo unite!"**_ I exclaimed loudly while laughing as everybody laughed along with me. _**"But seriously, what's your point of view?"**_

_**"Here we go..."**_ Brian commented raising his eyebrows and Freckles looked at him and nudged him playfully.

_**"Alright, first off, I believe that our life consists largely of dreams, sensations or ideas; dreams, sensations and ideas that we should lead to action." **_Freckles said firmly looking fixedly at me. _**"To explain this, I will go back to the philosophy of Plato."**_ She said with an air of intellectuality.

_**"Is it me or do you love philosophers and culture of Classical antiquity?" **_Chuck commented with a giggle and Freckles looked at him amused.

_**"Maybe I do love the Classical antiquity, only because the Greco-Roman cultural foundation has been immensely influential on the language, politics, educational systems, philosophy, science, art, and architecture of the modern world of Western culture."**_ Freckles admitted with a smile.

_**"Okay, I won't argue with you about that."**_ Chuck said with a short giggle. It was really good to see that they seemed to get along; that was the most I wanted.

_**"Good."**_ Freckles said smiling with her usual cheerfulness. She was so cute and smart and pretty... What was I thinking? I should focus on what she had to say. _**"So, as I was saying, I will go back to the philosophy of Plato."**_ She said again and everybody looked at her intently. _**"Plato says that the one who sees with his eyes is blind, and this idea is most famously captured in his allegory of the cave. In the allegory of the cave, Plato has Socrates describe a group of people who have lived chained to the wall of a cave all of their lives, facing a blank wall. The people watch shadows projected on the wall by things passing in front of a fire behind them, and begin to ascribe forms to these shadows. According to Plato's Socrates, the shadows are as close as the prisoners get to viewing reality. He then explains how the philosopher is like a prisoner who is freed from the cave and comes to understand that the shadows on the wall do not make up reality at all, as he can perceive the true form of reality rather than the mere shadows seen by the prisoners. The allegory may be related to Plato's Theory of Forms, according to which the forms or ideas, and not the material world of change known to us through sensation, possess the highest and most fundamental kind of reality. Only knowledge of the forms constitutes real knowledge. Like this, the material world as it seems to us is not the real world, but only an image or copy of the real world."**_ She explained slowly so we all could understand the theories of Plato. I remembered something of what we learned in high school, but that was only a slight idea. That Plato guy was a little bit crazy but so rational at the same time.

_**"Okay, so you're saying that you think exactly like Plato."**_ Chuck said looking at her intently, as if he was questioning her.

_**"Kind of. I only take him as a reference of what I personally think."**_ Freckles replied and Chuck nodded.

_**"So then, what is that you personally think?"**_ I asked intrigued, looking fixedly at her. This made her look at me, as I wanted. Why did I want that? I didn't know, I just wanted to see her eyes.

_**"I often start with a question. You always have to start with a question if you wanna think over a certain topic."**_ Freckles answered.

_**"The essence of philosophy."**_ Brian commented with his sight lost, probably because he was remembering something he learned at college.

_**"Are we in the presence of the new Plato?"**_ Joey asked with eyes wide open to try to add humor to this deep debate. Of course, everybody laughed.

_**"Yes, you are."**_ Freckles replied laughing and making a face of superiority.

_**"Where is your robe?"**_ I asked amused and she laughed and suddenly covered her body with the rug and I laughed out loud.

_**"This is the modern and fluffy robe!"**_ Freckles exclaimed in a silly way and everybody laughed, including Chuck.

_**"That's cool, I want one too. I'll be the modern Aristotle." **_I said amused._** "Okay, what is that question with which you start?" **_

_**"Well the question is... How often we close our eyes not to see and how often to see something better?"**_ Freckles asked and everybody, including me, thought about this fact. She had a point. _**"That's because we don't see things as they are, but we see things as we are. And when we see things as we are, each person is creating their own world and reality within this big world we call Earth. Every friend, every person who is part of our life, every memory, every dream and every fear represent a world and reality in us, a world that may not have been created if we hadn't known them."**_ She started explaining as her voice was raising because of her excitement. She was looking at me while explaining and I liked that. _**"So, I don't think the world is the way we like to think it is. I don't think it's one solid world, but many, thousands upon thousands of them, as many as there are people, because each person perceives the world in his or her own way; each lives in his or her own world. Sometimes they connect, for a moment, or more rarely, for a lifetime, but mostly we are alone, each living in our own world, suffering our small deaths." **_

_**"Welcome to the tragicomedy and the Existentialism."**_ Brian commented with a slight smile.

_**"Existentialism?"**_ Joey asked disturbed, as if he had no idea what he was talking about. I smiled amused not because I was mocking him, but because I was in the same situation than him. I had no idea what Brian was talking about.

_**"Yeah, it's a philosophical movement that begins with the human subject; not merely the thinking subject, but the acting, feeling, living human individual; a sense of disorientation and confusion in the face of an apparently meaningless or absurd world; based on anguish, hope, grief, melancholy, longing for eternity and the meaning of life. Like Kierkegaard, who proposed that each individual, not society or religion, is solely responsible for giving meaning to life and living it passionately and sincerely."**_ Brian replied as if it was something really obvious, but not in an arrogant way.

_**"Bro, how do you know all of that stuff? What are you?"**_ Joey asked impressed, looking at Brian in an admiring way as Brian laughed, looking down.

_**"I'm just studying that stuff. Now if you talk to me about theatre or all of that, I'm just a zero."**_ Brian replied in a humble way.

_**"I don't care what you say, you're a fucking genius."**_ Joey exclaimed, still admiringly.

_**"I am not..."**_ Brian replied still looking down, apparently feeling shy. I smiled amused because it was weird to see him being so shy.

_**"Yes, he is, Joey."**_ Freckles commented with a sweet smile, looking at Brian.

I noticed how Brian blushed and remained silent, apparently very flattered and uncomfortable. I frowned slightly because... Why would he blush like that? I mean, Freckles had that ability to make people blush, because she made me blush several times and that was something hard to get. But... Every time I blushed because of Freckles was because she was saying something really nice to me and I had feelings for her, so it was something really good to hear... But... Brian?

_**"Well, so, as I was saying..." **_Freckles started talking, but now she wasn't looking at me. _**"We don't see things as they are, but we see things as we are."**_ She repeated. _**"So, if we see things not as they are but as we are; I do think that happiness is internal, not external. Therefore it doesn't depend on what you have, but what we are. Therefore, the man is the architect of his own happiness, of his own reality. That's why I said that your point of view isn't so different than mine, Darren." **_She said now looking at me with a smile and I, of course, smiled back at her. _**"In short, I think we are more than what is presented as reality. And I think that we must try to discover ourselves; find ourselves in ideas, thoughts, in thinking about our origins. And this isn't about becoming philosophers; it's about trying to use the tools of the discipline, such as the great capacity of analysis, with a little imagination. Thinking, as something that cannot be separated from human nature; since in the end, the whole history of man is the product of thought. So I think the enormous problems facing the world today are not about not thinking, but the most basic of acts which is living. In conclusion, I believe that we are our memories; we are that chimerical museum of forms, that heap of broken mirrors. I firmly believe that death is a life lived, and life is a death that comes. And that's our reality."**_ Freckles said smiling widely, still looking at me.

_**"That's impressive."**_ I said smiling, looking deeply into her eyes.

_**"You are all weird." **_Chuck commented and Freckles giggled. _**"I stick with Brian's theory; it's the most coherent of them all. Summing up, Brian and I could be catalogued in the same philosophy of life, a rational and sane one; while Freckles and Darren are catalogued in other type of philosophy of life, an irrational, nonsensical, almost oneiric linked to the subjective one. And then we have Joey... a magical philosophy of a parallel life."**_ Chuck said amused and we all laughed.

_**"My theory is the most awesome."**_ Joey commented proudly.

They started talking about random things but I wasn't listening too much. I was only looking at Freckles, like fascinated. Yes, I was fascinated with her, with her new personality and her new appearance. She was really cool and yeah, she was still perfect to me. Yes, I wasn't in love with her, but I had to admit I was really interested in her, in knowing more about all the awesome things of her. Alright, I wasn't interested in her to get a love affair or something, no, I didn't want that; but I was interested in becoming like her best friend. I only paid attention to the current conversation when I heard Freckles asking something uncomfortable to Chuck.

_**"So, Chuck, how's Jen? You guys are still dating, right?"**_ Freckles asked and I looked at her alarmed, biting my lower lip. Chuck just looked at her agape, raising his eyebrows and stunned because of the question.

_**"Oh."**_ Was all that Chuck replied before an uncomfortable silence in which Freckles didn't realize her question was uncomfortable. _**"No, we're not dating."**_ Chuck finally answered and I saw how Freckles, suddenly, felt nervous and awkward.

_**"Oh! I'm sorry... I didn't know."**_ Freckles apologized, apparently feeling embarrassed.

_**"It's okay."**_ Chuck replied with a friendly smile._** "Jen and I aren't dating anymore, but we're fine. We're still like family." **_

Oh wow, that surprised me. I thought that Chuck was going to be hard on her, but he was friendly instead. He even smiled and it wasn't a forced smile. He even explained Freckles something. Chuck and Jen broke up last year; not because they had a dispute, but because they realized they weren't in love with each other, that they loved each other very much but only as friends or more like the love of a brother and a sister. They were indeed fine and they had an excellent relationship now, even better than before. Even Chuck was dating someone else and Jen knew about this because Chuck and Jen were used to tell each other everything, like best friends. Even Jen was friends with Chuck's girlfriend or whatever that girl was for him, because he said he didn't want to label their relationship. But it was still uncomfortable to hear a question like that; only because of the fact that Freckles still didn't know a lot of things that happened in the last year as I didn't know a lot of things that happened to Freckles in the last year. Anyway, I was glad that Chuck was being friendly with Freckles. Maybe he already liked the new Freckles. So now they kept talking about other random things, as I was just thinking about Chuck and Freckles. Hopefully Chuck was going to love Freckles again.

_**"It's really late! Brian, I think we should come back."**_ Freckles suddenly said when she checked the time.

_**"Yes, sure."**_ Brian agreed as he and Freckles stood up. I looked at them kind of alarmed.

_**"What if you spend the night here?"**_ I asked abruptly.

I didn't know why I had this need to be near Freckles all the time, it was ridiculous. But I really, really wanted her to stay. This was weird: Joey looked at me a bit amused; Chuck looked at me suspiciously, frowning slightly; Brian looked at me surprised, raising his eyebrows, then looking at Freckles in the same way, then looking down; and Freckles looked at me frowning and amused, smiling slightly. Did I look desperate or something? I didn't like the way everybody was looking at me.

_**"That would be great, but we really need to go. You know, I have to take a shower and I need clothes and everything."**_ Freckles replied giggling softly.

_**"You can take a shower here, and I could give you some clothes that..."**_ I started saying very desperate.

But I stopped abruptly because of the way everybody was looking at me. They were looking at me even more suspiciously and stunned and I realized I sounded like a crazy and possessive guy. And this wasn't right considering that Freckles and I were friends. Just friends, not even best friends. Crap, this was very awkward; I totally made a fool of myself.

_**"I really think I'll come back to my room."**_ Freckles said firmly, but still in a friendly way and smiling. _**"I have a routine that I broke today that is to train and work out every morning, besides doing my assignments and practicing my drawing skills. I'm not complaining because I had a really good time here, but I think it's time to return to my daily activities." **_Freckles explained as I was looking down, still embarrassed, nodding. _**"Maybe tomorrow we can come back."**_

_**"Yeah, that would be great."**_ I said quietly, still looking down.

_**"Alright, then. So..."**_ Freckles said smiling and grabbing her purse.

_**"Oh yeah, I'll open the door." **_I said quickly and I walked to the door.

Freckles and Brian followed me after they greeted Joey and Chuck. Once there, I opened the door and I greeted Brian with fists hit and then it was turn to greet Freckles. Brian walked outside as Freckles looked at me with a friendly smile.

_**"So, let me know if you have plans for tomorrow; if you don't have maybe we can come over here, if you want."**_ Freckles said.

_**"Yeah, of course. I'd like if you come over here." **_I said smiling back at her.

_**"Good, then. Just let me know."**_ Freckles said and I nodded.

Then she hugged me and of course I hugged her back. She wrapped her arms around my waist as I wrapped my arms around her back, touching slightly her short hair with my fingers. I didn't want to stop hugging her, it just felt nice. I actually didn't want to let her go. Man, why the fuck was I feeling this way with her? I shouldn't. I was acting like an idiot: doing and saying things I wasn't supposed to do or say. The worst was when she kissed my cheek and our eyes met. Stupid, stupid, stupid feeling. I was just confused because it's been a while since the last time a girl was so nice and affective with me for real; it was only because of that; besides the fact she was also funny, sweet, smart, sexy… No. Stop, I should stop.

_**"Have a good night, Darren."**_ She said kindly. Then my gaze drifted to her lips. 'You idiot, look up!' I said in my mind and so I did.

_**"Yes, you too." **_I answered smiling warmly at her.

Like this, Freckles and Brian left my apartment. I closed the door and as soon as I did it, I noticed that Chuck was looking at me very fixedly and serious. This couldn't mean a good thing. Oh no, what now? What now, man? He shouldn't be looking at me that way.

_**"We have to talk."**_ Chuck said almost severely.


	47. You deserve the sun

A/N: Hello guys! How are you doing today? I hope that despite all the little daily problems, you're okay! Well, what can I say today? For some weird reason (it's really weird!) I'm out of words. I guess I'm kinda tired and all I want to do is to hit the bed! haha. So, about the previous chapter... It was a weird and different chapter, wasn't it? I'll confess you something: I shouldn't have written that chapter that way, because I wrote it only because that day was one of those days when I sit down to think about everything; and when I do this, nothing can stop me and that led me to write all of that; the debate was a sort of excuse for me to put in the story some of the things I was thinking, so... Sorry if it was boring! Besides, I wanted to give each character more personification, because I have a problem. Yes, I have a problem. Sometimes I feel like all the characters in the story are somehow very similar one another and I don't want that; I want to show they're different. Hopefully I'll improve that. Alright, I said I was out of words and I ended up talking too much and making it messy and confusing. I'll just start replying your reviews!

zahra auob: Oh, I'm actually very glad you liked the chapter, because I thought it was going to be boring to read! Was philosophy your favorite subject in high school? I liked it too, but in that moment I couldn't understand everything (it was a very heavy subject!); I guess it's because I wasn't very dedicated in high school, it changed when I started college and started appreciating this thing of learning new things all the time. I really understand you with that thing of debates; I always tend to raise my voice when debating and people who don't know me think I'm angry or something, so in that aspect I'm like Freckles too. It's interesting that you're on Freckles' side! I am too, but only about technology; about reality, well, that's more complicated, I'm like Joey! haha, just kidding; I don't know, I'm a mix of the different opinions, it's kind of messy! And it's also very interesting the way you felt related to Darren's feelings. I never thought about that way with a best friend, but now that you mentioned it, you're completely right! I remember I had a friend who was like you with your best friend; she always wanted me to stay and she always wanted me to be with her all the time, she was kinda possessive but because she loved me and she said I was the only true friend she had; unfortunately everything changed when she met a guy and started dating him. Yes, totally! Once Upon a Time is like a Disney song! Maybe that's why I loved it so much. And Words is such a wonderful and touching song, I think that's my second favorite one. And I also liked very much Any Of Those. And Pheromones reminded you of my story? That's funny! I didn't think about it, but maybe you're right... Especially in the first chapters of this second part when Darren meets Freckles again and he can't stop checking her out; or in high school, with his hormones exploding when being near Mandy (at first) or Freckles... haha, yes, maybe you're right! Oh god, you made me laugh! Of course I don't mind that you talked too much! Look at me! I love talking! haha. Alright, buona fortuna per il tuo esame di italiano! I know it may be late, so, instead I should say: Spero che hai fatto bene il tuo esame! Surely I have a lot of grammar mistakes because I forgot all I learned about Italian; such a shame because my father and my grandparents are Italian, from Sicily! I'm such a shame, I know, haha. And thank you a lot for the last you said! You never fail to make me smile, Zahra! It's really very beautiful to know such a big thing that I never thought could be possible. Thank you! :)

PotterHead62: haha yes! How on earth has that debate happened? It's crazy. And yes! I'm so frustrated that the link never worked! It was awesome and very cute! I think that I'd never be able to eat that cookie, because it should be some kind of crime to eat it because of its cuteness. Okay, I'm talking about a cookie as though it was a human with feelings, something is wrong with me. Oh yeah, maybe Darren is feeling something for her again, or maybe he isn't and he actually wants (or misses) something else; you'll see! Let's see what Chuck can do! After all, he's the older brother and the older brothers (sometimes) are the wiser. Oh! I just realized that Darren and Freckles haven't fought so much; well, actually that's a lie; but considering I'm writing the chapter 56, I can say that they won't have important fights (or yes?), so maybe not so many horrible things will happen, but I could be lying. And the horrible things about W... Well, with time, the horrible things about W will be horrible things squared. Oh, the cliffhangers! I really miss those; I mean, I always try to end the chapters in an intriguing way, so that would be more interesting; but they aren't as intriguing as they were in the first part. I need to work on that, so you'd enjoy the ending of each chapter even more!

alicegursk: I hate you! You know I hate you! Who is the evil woman now? Who? I'm suffering, suffering in my misery of not knowing what you're thinking! I think German surely is a very difficult language to learn! Not only to write it but also to speak it. The only word I know is: Guten Tag. I don't know why I know that word; I guess I heard it in some random movie or something. I forgot to ask, why are you in Berlin? For vacation? You surely went to the Berlin Wall and the Brandenburg Gate! Oh gosh, just... Berlin has so many places to visit! Someday I'll be a billionaire and I'm gonna travel all around the world. Fortunately I have internet connection and Google Earth, so I can imagine I'm on those places. That's what I do in my free time while eating cookies and drinking a coffee, haha, kidding... Kidding... Okay, who the fuck punches their faces without even caring about bleeding? You, only you! That's why I love you. Assuming the fact that you're some kind of crazy girl who enjoys having a broken and bleeding nose as way to demonstrate the happiness of seeing some people being cute, so crazy to compare you to Silas who practices severe corporal mortification in the Da Vinci code, I'll make sure to bring some cotton balls. Chuck, oh Chuck. What is Chuck capable of doing? What would he want to talk to Darren about? Would he understand everything? Oh, let's see what happens in the next two chapters! And what the hell is getting more realistic? What? What about? I don't even have a clue! Gimme a clue! Ah! You surely can hear me screaming in frustration! Don't be evil and insane! Do not learn from me, I'm a bad influence. I understand what you're doing... You're taking revenge for all those times I was cruel with the cliffhangers and all the shit! Oh no, fuck. I'm screwed, aren't I? You won't tell me a damn thing, will you? Not even if I kneel before you and I beg you to tell me? No? You're the one who's gonna sleep on the couch this time, missy! You're warned!

amritsoomal: Oh, Darren is feeling confused again! Why would he be confused? Is he gonna do something about? Just questions that are popping in my mind. Yes, sometimes I regret to have put an end to Jen and Chuck's relationship, but in real life Chuck is married to Lucy; so, since I want to make this a little bit realistic, I needed to finish the love affair between them! It was tragic to do. And to answer your question: No, Jen still hasn't talked to Freckles; but they will, eventually. I know, it was confusing to me to write too, you now know the mess that my mind is! haha. You loved so many things and I'm super glad for it, so in return I'll give you syrup to add to the virtual pancakes, and I'll also give you a big cup of hot chocolate! And I got a virtual jar of Nutella and a hug! And of course I'll enjoy the hug now that I won't get hugs so often! Okay, I'm gonna give you a virtual hug too, because that was super nice!

Adorkable Sherlock: Oh my wizard god you're back! Can you see my huge smile right now? Dammit, I missed you! Gosh, it's beautiful, Joey would say! Your dramatic entrance was... Masterful. Brilliant. Genius. Your travels seem to have been quite interesting, full of trials and tribulations of uncertainty and ultimate ambiguity; yet, as a complex paradox of this preposterous and sometimes nonsensical but incredibly marvelous life, behind the muddled and tangled complications, a world or thousands upon thousands worlds are hiding, in a context full of magical and illusory landscapes and creatures, in a place where the surreal is imposed on the real, creating, therefore, a parallel reality where only the cool people is allowed to visit, because only the eyes of cool people are able to perceive the brightness of gold dust that butterflies spread in their flight, which indicates the path they must follow to reach the Wonderland and Neverland. All in all, what does it all mean? You're back! And if you think you're not creative enough, compare your story about your travels to my story to explain how glad I am you're back, and I promise you'll feel good and super creative and original. And for sure I feel super flattered to know that you miss commenting here and all of it, and I felt even more flattered when you mentioned this is the only ff you comment with your heart! Ha! I have your heart in my hands! Muahaha! Whose birthday was it? I don't know what you're talking about, it wasn't my birthday cause I'm Dorian freaking Gray and I do not get older! Okay, that was terrible. I did not read those! Truth is I've been out of everything lately because the bitches of my professors in college decided to be assholes and wouldn't stop giving me things to do. Fuck that! I'll do it soon! Now I'm intrigued! Yeah, Twitter is a damn pain in the ass with its 140 characters, it gets on my nerves! I did spend a totally awesome birthday, my Sherlock! Nothing special, just a huge chocolate cake (needless to say it brought me too much joy) shared with my family and my boyfriend; I didn't even throw a party cause, you know, old people don't do that! haha (I just sounded like my granny. Fuck, I'm old!). Oh god, I can't believe you've been talking to Hook! How you dare! Has he hurt you with his hook? But, where's the hobbit? Maybe Hook found a crocodile in his way to find that troublesome hobbit kid. Do I write deep stuff in Facebook? Only in the days when I think too much and feel like the need of writing down all that pops in my mind; but I do feel flattered by your comment. I didn't know I could make work someone else's brain! That's like a huge power, I'll start practicing it and figure out if it's a power or not. Okay, am I rambling and saying nonsense things? Why did you read this on a Monday morning? That was a bad decision! I completely understand, my brain never works on mornings, no matter the day, but Monday is certainly the worst day. You say you didn't understand the shit I wrote, well, let me tell you something... I didn't understand it either. Well, I wrote it at full speed because in that moment my brain was working and thinking stuff and I wanted to write all I was thinking without forgetting anything; when I finally finished writing and I decided to read it, I said to myself: What the actual fuck, man? I had to correct many things because I couldn't understand what I tried to say, so nobody was going to understand it. It was tough. I just had so many ideas and it was chaotic interrelate and interconnect all ideas. I'm not smart, Freckles is the smart one! haha. Now that you mentioned you have written books, you are not safe. You gotta show me them! Bullshit if you think they're dumb! All of us tend to think that the things we do are dumb; I don't know why, but nowadays it's kind of a requirement to feel like all of our own things are less important or less great than they actually are, maybe because others one day made us believe that, which is a shame. It happened to me, hence why I'm saying that. For so long people made me believe I wasn't good at writing (Have I ever mentioned I was the worst in literature and creative writing in high school?) and I never dared to write, until I started writing for myself and one fine day I dared to publish my stories, just as a hobby or as a kind of game, never imagining that I'd ever get people read them. So, you see, writing wasn't always my passion, I hated writing because others always told me I was terrible at it; then it turned into a hobby when I started writing for myself, and it became a passion when I said: Screw those people, I want to know how it feels like to write down all I feel, all I dream, all I imagine and all I have in my mind; I'll give myself the chance to write again. With all of this, what I'm trying to say is that I want to read something of what you've written! Poor Mr. Fluffy! It was just an innocent teddy bear! But who knows? Maybe you were in the right thing, maybe Mr. Fluffy claims to be an inanimate object, but it's actually a spy for the FBI, or worse yet... for W. Maybe someday, while Darren is peacefully sleeping in his comfortable bed, Mr. Fluffy is gonna start moving and it's gonna stab Darren with a malicious face while laughing with its robotic voice; after that the creep will pretend to be a simple and adorable teddy bear again and no one will understand why Darren is covered in blood. Morbid too much? Chuck is back, motherfuckers! Yeah, well, maybe things between him and Freckles are less tense; maybe... Yes, I know! It was totally cruel to have broken Chuck and Jen's relationship! I know, I know! It's legit for you to call me evil. But you have to understand! Chuck is married to Lucy and well, I had to be strong and think... What would Ryan Murphy do? And Ryan whispered in the back of my head: 'You must break everybody's heart, make them suffer, break one of the best ships in the next episode, I mean chapter'. Oh! About Blaine proposing Kurt... I have this feeling... Kurt is not gonna accept, I mean, I love Klaine (duh, you know that), but it'd be kind of wrong if Kurt accepts; I love Blaine, but Kurt shouldn't accept. Then we can talk about this and I'll explain you why I think this. Please, don't aim me with the shotgun! The shotgun is only for the zombies and you must aim their brain! You should bring a white oak stake, just in case a vampire decides to appear, because, what if W is a vampire? I'll definitely be writing about Chris! You shouldn't forget that Chris was the reason why I watched Glee on the first seasons. Now, you don't have to worry because this story will probably end in December or something like that, it could even end next year! Are you part of the Model of the United Nations? I participated on that too! I had to represent Qatar and I was in the Economic and Social Council, such a great experience! And I got an inbox! I'll be checking it tomorrow in the morning! Now, good luck with the Model of UN! You'll have to tell me how it was! Love and fairy dust (I guess you need to keep it in reserve, just in case you have to travel again). Your Moriarty!

wujoka: Freckles is magical! Maybe she's from another world, a world we still don't know; and maybe she's gonna take Darren to that magical place and Darren will become magical too and we all will understand why Darren is currently magical and doesn't seem to be human. Am I saying nonsense things? But now that you said that, maybe all the things start to make sense; maybe the real sense of this story is that she's magical and all of what she lives is magical as well, so her love story with Darren will be magical. Wouldn't it be magical and nice? I think I said the word magical so much that now it sounds like a strange word. Oh! Are you waiting for the moment they hook up? I was always kind of unsure about writing (and describing) the part of hooking up, because sometimes I think people won't like to read that; but now that you tell me you're waiting for that moment, I feel more sure. That part will come, eventually! Maybe not in an expected way!

vicky: I'm so glad you liked the debates! Before posting that chapter I was like super worried i could bore you all with that because it was kind of... weird and different of all that I've written so far. I though it wasn't interesting! To be honest, just as you, I didn't know there were so many versions about what reality is, because I thought about all of that while writing (I was very thoughtful that day); that's why maybe it was kind of messy and muddled. Yes, Chuck is just worried about Darren getting hurt again, he's just very overprotective, just as older brothers sometimes tend to be; which is not cool but it's what happens, and then you realize they only wanted the best for you, only that they didn't do it in the most appropriate way. Yes, maybe Chuck liked her with this debate they had; but maybe it won't be that easy, you'll see what happens between them in the next two chapters! Brothers fight! haha, brothers always fight and they can be very cruel and rough, but at the end they always forgive each other and everything returns to normal as if nothing ever happened; that's why brothers are the best! Oh! You'll figure out in this chapter! Maybe you already have your suspicions!

nicole: I've been given the power of producing headaches! I can't tell if that is a good or bad thing. Ah! I'm really happy that you liked the chapter and the debate, because I was kinda worried about it, always thinking it would be boring and it had no sense and no one would like it! No, I'm not smart! The characters are the smart ones! I was just an external observant of the situation, trying to get what they were trying to say! Those crazy people! Huzzah! I'm a year totally awesome? How awesome is that? Look out world, for the dawn of the day when everyone will do whatever I say and that Potter won't be in my way, and then I'll be the one who is totally awesome! Oh wait! I think that was your part! My bad! Oh yes! His new girlfriend will be nice, let's see how this situation new girlfriend - Darren - ex-girlfriend (Freckles) is! That's the only I'm gonna say cause I don't wanna screw up anything! Oh Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, what are you gonna do now? What the hell do you want to talk about? Will Chuck make this harder or easier? It's time to know! Piano class? Oh girl, I'm so jealous! I always wanted to learn to play piano, but I never could and anyway I'd totally suck at that, I'm terrible, terrible when it comes to play instruments; such a shame, because all of my family is related to music and I'm like the black sheep. So, good luck with your piano class! Lots of hugs and butterfly kisses, my son-reviewer draco-nicole!

Well guys, that was all for today. I really should stop writing right now, because, damn, it's so late in here and I need to get some sleep because tomorrow I'll have a strenuous day! So… This chapter… I don't what to say about this chapter! You maybe will get some action! Hell yeah, I need to add more action in this story! So, I hope you can enjoy it, and I promise you won't have to deal with debates and philosophical stuff this time! Now, it's time for me to say until next Saturday! Warm fuzzies and picture perfect BOYS or girls too. But, mostly, picture perfect Darren. Okay, I should stop. Enjoy!

* * *

**Teenage Dream – Chapter 47 – You deserve the sun.**

* * *

_**"What do you want to talk about now?"**_ I asked while sighing, walking to the couch to lie down in there.

_**"What's going on here?"**_ Chuck asked severely, walking to where I was.

_**"What do you even mean?"**_ I asked frowning, starting to feel annoyed. I knew what he wanted to talk about, but I was playing fool.

_**"You know exactly what I mean. You told me some shit when we were outside right after I've arrived, you told me you and Freckles are nothing but only friends; but then you act in a weird way when she's around. Do you think I haven't noticed the way you were looking at her all this time?"**_ Chuck asked frowning, looking fixedly at me.

_**"What are you saying, Chuck? Goddammit!"**_ I exclaimed irked, turning around to give him my back.

_**"Don't you dare to do that, Everett!"**_ Chuck exclaimed bossy, but I didn't move.

_**"Do what?"**_ I asked irritated, still giving him my back.

_**"To play fool! I'm your brother, I know you since forever; I know exactly what you're doing."**_ Chuck said firmly.

_**"Oh yeah? And may I know what the hell I'm doing then?"**_ I asked annoyed, now looking at him again, frowning.

_**"This little game with Freckles; a not so innocent game."**_ Chuck replied and I looked at him incredulous.

_**"What game, for fuck's sake?" **_I asked in disbelief.

_**"Well, guys... I think I'll go to sleep, so you can talk."**_ Joey suddenly said and Chuck and I looked at him abruptly. Joey seemed to be uncomfortable about this. _**"Goodnight."**_

_**"Goodnight, buddy."**_ I greeted him and so did Chuck.

Joey left and I looked at Chuck annoyed, frowning; as he was looking at me severely, as if he was about to scold me like a parent. I really didn't want to talk about this, he was misinterpreting everything.

_**"So what game, eh?"**_ I asked looking at him fixedly.

_**"That game, 'hey I'm your friend and I tell everybody that we're only friends and this is so cool; but look at me, I don't consider you as my friend, so why don't we just play?' That game."**_ Chuck started saying and I looked at him in disbelief and I couldn't help laughing at the ridiculous thing he was saying. This only made him be more annoyed. _**"Why are you laughing?"**_

_**"Because what you just said has no sense at all." **_I said firmly.

_**"You know it has sense. Stop this, stop playing dumb with me and just let's be mature here."**_ Chuck said serious and I just looked away, not saying anything at all. _**"Sorry, but this all is just weird. The way she's here and she's nice, the way she is now; not that I didn't like it, but it's just weird. And it's also weird the way you are when she's here, the way you look at her, the things you say; you almost forced her to spend the night here! Do you have any idea of how creepy it sounded considering that you're just friends? So, just tell me what you really think about her; because I don't believe your story that you're only friends." **_Chuck said roundly, in a bossy way while I was still looking away.

_**"You're only picturing things that aren't only because of the fact that you don't like Freckles. If you don't like her, it's fine, it's up to you; but do not mix up what you feel for her with what I feel for her. You don't like her, but I do; and only because I like her doesn't mean I have feelings for her more than a friendship."**_ I said quiet and serious.

_**"This is not about if I like her or not, so don't get me wrong. This is about you saying you consider her as a friend while you're aware that you may be feeling something more for her, but you don't wanna admit it." **_Chuck refuted me.

_**"It's not like that. You have no idea what I feel or not; and you and I, even if we're brothers, we're different. I'm aware of what I feel for her and it's something very different from liking her as more than a friend."**_ I said firmly, looking fixedly at Chuck.

_**"Can I be honest with you?"**_ Chuck suddenly asked.

_**"I thought we were already being honest."**_ I replied, now looking away.

_**"I'll ignore your last comment."**_ Chuck said almost coldly. _**"I'll start with the fact that Freckles was someone really important to you; she was your first girlfriend..." **_

_**"She wasn't."**_ I interrupted him abruptly.

_**"You know what I mean, Darren. She was your first real love."**_ Chuck said looking fixedly at me, serious and apparently annoyed because of the way I interrupted him. _**"I won't deny the fact that you and Freckles had a special connection and you shared a lot of things; when you were together, you both grew tremendously and you two were like the sane envy for all the couples. You were indeed the perfect couple and it was amazing to see you together. Everybody was happy for you two."**_ Chuck admitted and I was looking at him blankly. What was his point? This wasn't helping me at all. _**"You really loved her, everybody could tell that. And she also loved you, she really loved you. But then this thing of Jim came to happen and you guys, unfortunately, grew apart. You tried to find her for a whole damn year, that's insane. But we all could understand you, because it's hard to find someone as important as Freckles was to you. So the reasons why I don't like her aren't because I think she's a bad person, but because of the way she made you feel in that year she was absent."**_ Chuck said, speaking in a quiet way. I was still looking at him blankly; I really didn't know what his point was. _**"Anyway, point is she never tried to find you and that's understandable because she was still thinking you abandoned her. And now you got to see her again, after a year. I bet you were truly happy because of this. But there's a factor you haven't considered and that is that both you and Freckles have changed. You're not the same; your appearances have changed, your personalities have changed, your lifestyles have changed, your preferences have changed, your circle of friends have changed; everything has changed. Yet, she is still Freckles."**_

_**"Is she Freckles? I thought she was Hermione Granger."**_ I commented sarcastically.

_**"I'm talking in all seriousness, Darren; so try to avoid those stupid sarcastic comments for now."**_ Chuck said serious and severely; so I just kept my mouth shut, raising an eyebrow, thinking how moody he was being. _**"Now she's back and apparently you're used to spend a lot of time with her. And you're constantly saying you're only friends; but your actions contradict your words. I think you're trying to convince yourself that you don't feel anything for her, but deep down you're aware you do feel something for her; only because of the fact she meant everything to you in high school. But you try to convince yourself that you don't feel anything for her because you know you shouldn't feel anything for her, because she's not the same person she was in high school. And you're lying to yourself and this is sick." **_Chuck said frowning and I raised my eyebrows in disbelief.

_**"Are you saying I'm sick? Are you analyzing me?"**_ I asked suspiciously and incredulous, frowning.

_**"Yes, I'm analyzing you; and no, I'm not saying you're sick. I'm saying this situation is sick because you don't even know what you want; you think you do, but when she's around, she unbalances you, making you do or say things you haven't planned."**_ Chuck said quiet as I looked away. _**"I think you should think over what you want and stop lying to yourself. If you want her back because you still feel something for her; then just face it, go for her and talk to her about this; but know that probably this won't work the way you expect because your relationship is not going to be the same relationship you had with her in high school, because neither of you are the way you used to be. You could feel really disappointed if you think everything is going to be as it used to be." **_Chuck said soberly as I was still looking away, frowning and serious. I didn't want to hear all of this because this was making me feel confused right when I thought I had everything controlled. _**"And if what you want is really to be only her friend; then you need to work on your way of acting when she's around, because you're confusing her. And if you confuse her, she could misinterpret things and that could end in two ways. First option is she will like the way you flirt with her, the way you try to get closer to her to get something more than a friendship; and then when it comes the time to explain her that you really don't want it, you'll make her feel really bad and she's gonna walk away. Second option is she won't like the way you act with her because she feels uncomfortable, because she doesn't want it; then she's gonna walk away."**_ Chuck explained and this made me feel even worse. So, was he saying all the options were bad? That everything, one way or another, was going to end in a bad way? _**"Think about what you want and work on it, but stop being with her the way you're being right now because things will end up in a bad way; and I'm pretty sure you don't want it, do you?"**_

_**"No, of course not."**_ I answered curtly, still looking away.

_**"So, what's what you really want? Be honest, Darren."**_ Chuck asked intrigued.

_**"I don't know." **_I answered, still looking away, feeling confused. Then I sighed and looked at him. _**"On one hand, I like her way too much; and every time she acts the way she acted today, or every time I feel her touching, every time I look into her eyes or lips; I feel like I want her back. But then I think that maybe I feel that only because she was very important to me and she's the only girl who shows me affection; of all the girls I dated or had a sexual and intimate relationship, she is the only one who showed me affection, who showed me that she really cares about me. I haven't felt any kind of affection from a girl that attracted me in a long time and I kind of miss that feeling. You see, I can have fun with other girls, I can have sex with other girls and I can enjoy being with them; but Freckles is the only one who gives me something else that makes me feel... loved; even if it's in a friendly way. And that is what confuses me."**_ I answered in all honesty, looking down, frowning because I was deep in thought thinking about Freckles and the way she made me feel. _**"But on the other hand, I know I'm not in love with her." **_

_**"How can you be so sure about it?"**_ Chuck asked suspiciously and I stayed silent for a while. I needed to tell him.

_**"Because last night she kissed me."**_I finally admitted and I could see that Chuck was raising his eyebrows in surprise, apparently a bit disgruntled because of this; yet, he didn't say anything. _**"Yes, she kissed me and I didn't feel the same way I used to feel when we kissed in high school. This time I felt this wasn't right; it didn't feel right. I actually didn't feel anything at all but an uncomfortable feeling. And yes, maybe sometimes I have this desire of kissing her because she's very attractive; but then I remember the feeling I felt when she kissed me and I don't want it. I really didn't like that kiss; and that is why I know I'm not in love with her."**_ I admitted, looking down and feeling bad for what I was saying, but that was the truth; that was the messy and confusing truth. _**"I fell in love with her when we were together, and then fell deeply in love with her in the year we were apart. But now it feels just different."**_

_**"Can I tell you something?"**_ Chuck suddenly asked after a long silence. I just nodded, still looking down and feeling a bit crestfallen. _**"As you said, I think you only feel that way because Freckles is the only girl who shows you affection. But I don't think that Freckles is the only one who can show you affection. Yes, you said that none of the other girls with whom you've been involved have showed you affection and maybe this is correct. But I think they haven't showed you affection because they weren't the right girls; because they wanted only what you wanted that was to have fun or sex."**_ Chuck said and I frowned and looked away, feeling uncomfortable. I was feeling like I was an asshole for wanting to have only sex with no feelings involved with a girl. _**"I don't think this is a bad thing; after all you're a human being and you have urges. But, anyway, I do think there's a bad thing; and that is that you only searched those girls with whom you can only have sex just because of the fact you didn't want to get involved into something deeper because you're still hurt for what happened with Freckles. You are denying yourself the chance to meet a worthwhile girl who can provide all the affection you need; only because of the fact that you're afraid of being hurt again. There are a lot of amazing girls and you're missing the chance to meet them only because of that stupid fear; therefore, you hang on to the things you know, and that's why you hang on to Freckles."**_ Chuck said firmly while I was still looking away.

Maybe he was right about this, but I couldn't help it. Freckles meant everything to me and when we grew apart it destroyed me; I really didn't want to feel like that again. I didn't want to be hurt again and I was sure that if I dared to get involved with other girl in a deep way, this would happen sooner or later; so I preferred to stay distant and do not take anything in a deep and serious way. It was safer this way.

_**"Freckles was important to you and she'll always be important to you; but she's not the girl for you anymore. You have to stop seeing Freckles as the one and only for you because you don't feel the same for her anymore; you need to start seeing all the girls that are out there who can become just as important as Freckles was to you. Give them a chance, do not push them away; do not be afraid of falling for other girl again."**_ Chuck said looking at me fixedly. He seemed to be kind of exasperated because he was noticing I couldn't be positive about this; even if I knew he was right. _**"And have fun if you want to have fun, have sex if you want to have sex; but do not push away the love of another girl who isn't Freckles if you want to feel affection; because who is to say that the girl would not become the new Freckles for you?" **_Chuck said shrugging and smiling slightly, as trying to encourage me.

_**"I don't know..."**_ I replied with a sigh, running my fingers through my curls. _**"I don't think I'll ever find a girl as Freckles used to be." **_

_**"Of course no one is gonna be as Freckles was; because we all are different. But you could maybe meet a girl who's also gonna take your breath away; it'll be a different girl, with a different appearance and a different personality; but it's gonna be a girl who is gonna make you feel the way Freckles made you feel that is being in love with someone."**_ Chuck replied encouragingly. _**"Don't give up on that, Darren."**_

_**"I don't wanna give up. But I'm just not ready to start a serious relationship with any kind of special attachment."**_ I answered gloomy, looking down.

_**"Then just have fun, always respecting the other person. But if love appears again, do not push it away, Darren."**_ Chuck said softly but firmly.

_**"Yeah, I'll try. For now, I don't wanna experience it."**_ I replied.

_**"That's good. Just... Just try to act properly when Freckles is around; do not do or say things you'll later regret; because you don't want to hurt her and hurt yourself. If you're sure you aren't in love with her, just act as a friend, as a real friend."**_ Chuck warned me and I nodded.

_**"Yes, I got that. I won't stop hugging her, or inviting her to hang out, or whatever. I do want to spend time with her because I always have a good time when she's around. But now I'll be careful not to make her misinterpret things. I got that." **_I affirmed firmly and secure.

_**"Yes, exactly like that. If you're sure about it; I really think you can be good friends. This new Freckles is cool, after all."**_ Chuck said and I looked at him abruptly, surprised for what he said. He was smiling slightly.

_**"So, do you like her?"**_ I asked curiously.

_**"Yeah, I like her. But still, I feel kind of resentful for the way she made you feel all this time when you were apart. I think I'll need time to start seeing her as my little sister again."**_ Chuck clarified but I didn't care, I was feeling really glad because at least he liked her and he didn't hate her.

_**"You'll see... She's totally awesome." **_I said now smiling widely. Hopefully, Chuck was going to fully accept Freckles.

* * *

It was 8am and you were already training outside, in the Broadway Park, in the riverfront area of Ann Arbor. There was no one around, because, honestly, who would be up at 8am on a Sunday? You were running through the pathway along the Huron River with your earphones on, to enjoy music while working out. You really enjoyed doing this and this was good for your health; even if this was exhausting, you needed to work out at least one more hour than usual because the two last days you ate a lot and you ate junk food which wasn't good for your body. At one point you stopped to start doing crunches. It was really good to be doing this alone, even if you'd have preferred to do this with Brian as usual; but he was busy studying for some exams. He was being so hard on himself to get the best degrees so then he could get a better scholarship. When you stood up to keep running a little more before returning to your room, you saw a shadow behind some trees. Your frowned because you thought you were alone, but apparently there were more people as crazy as you were to work out in this cold morning on a Sunday.

_**"I'm glad to know I'm not the only crazy here."**_ You giggled in your mind.

But when you started running again you felt noises coming from behind the trees and bushes, noises as if someone was following you. You turned your face while still running but you couldn't see anything and the noises stopped. Maybe you were just so tired that you were picturing non-existent things. You focused on the way again, turning off the music, just in case someone was actually following you. You couldn't hear the noises again, so you felt more relaxed. But after a while, you definitely heard noises coming from the trees, but you decided to play dumb, even if you were a bit nervous now. What if it was a thief? No way, you didn't have anything of value, except your iPod; you didn't even have your phone. Why would a thief want to steal you? You even looked indigent with your sportswear, a sweatband, wristband, trainer socks; and not to mention the way you were sweating. But you did hear noises really near you; so you tried to run even faster, not wanting to look back, just in case there was someone indeed who wanted to steal you or something. The faster you ran, the nearer the noises were. That person was indeed following you, was running beside you behind the trees. When you finally dared to look in the direction the noises were coming, you saw a shadow of a person very near you; but that person stopped abruptly and hid behind a bush. If the person was following you and hid when you looked at that direction only meant that this wasn't good. You didn't have anything to protect yourself, anything at all that you could use as self-defense. You kept running faster and the person started running again, next to you; you were now really nervous and you didn't know where to go; no one else was around and there was no place to hide besides few trees or bushes. You needed to arrive to the road again, where at least cars were circulating; but you were away. Anyway, you ran really fast and the person ran along with you; you knew that the person was now trying to run toward you; you knew that the person was going to try to attack you; anyway, you didn't look, you didn't want to look. You were really exasperated; you shouldn't have come alone; this was a terrible idea. At one point your gaze drifted to the direction where the person was and you could see that the person was indeed there, running beside you, looking at you fixedly. It was a man wearing black clothes, a black beanie and shadow sunglasses. When you looked at his face you felt panic-stricken. Was that...Jim? No fucking way. When he noticed you were looking at him terrified, he ran toward you, getting out from behind the trees. He was literally running toward you and his intentions were to catch you; so you ran with all your might. But you were tired because you've been working out for three hours already, so you didn't have much strength and endurance. Jim or not, that man was going to catch you and you were jittery and frightened. There was a curve in the pathway, and when you turned the curve; fortunately and thanks god there was a person in the distance; apparently also training and running towards you. You didn't care who that person was, but it was your only chance to be safe, so you ran straight to that person, screaming help. The guy who was training finally noticed something weird happening and, thank god, ran to you to help you. The man who wanted to attack you stopped abruptly and then ran away, disappearing in between the trees. Still, you kept running really scared and the guy who was training finally reached you, but you didn't look at him; you were feeling dizzy and you were seeing everything blurry because of the panic. The guy who was training placed his hands on your shoulders as you were looking down, panting and trying to recover your breath.

_**"Sweetie, are you okay?"**_ The guy asked and you recognized the voice and more when he called you like that; he was the only one who called you like that.

You looked up to find Noah looking at you very worried with his ice blue eyes. You didn't answer and you couldn't think about anything; so you just hugged him as trying to find comfort and try to calm down. He wrapped his arms around you and rubbed your back slowly, trying to reassure you. You were trembling.

_**"Hey, sweetie, what's wrong? Who was that man next to you? Why were you screaming?"**_ Noah asked still worried.

_**"I don't know! I just... That man was following me and... And... I don't know!"**_ You replied still very jittery.

_**"Calm down, you're safe now." **_Noah said reassuringly, still rubbing your back.

_**"I know, but... I was so... Oh my god! I'm hugging you and I'm sweating, oh damn, this is gross. I'm so sorry!"**_ You said with trembling voice, still very wrought and edgy; stepping back.

_**"Hey!"**_ Noah said chuckling softly; looking at you with a grin. _**"Don't worry about that; I was also training so, I'm sweated myself. And that sounded gross, but oh well..."**_ He said shrugging and chuckling while looking at you. You giggled softly and then looked down.

_**"At least you look good; I look terrible." **_You said while trying to calm now that you were with someone you knew.

_**"Bullshit. You look beautiful as always. I hardly think you could ever look terrible as you said."**_ Noah said looking fixedly into your eyes with a kind smile and you smiled shyly at him. You didn't like so much the compliments, but anyway this was nice. _**"Hey, what do you think if I invite you for a coffee? It could be a good way to dissipate the bad moment you've just experienced."**_

_**"Like this?"**_ You asked looking at yourself, wearing your sportswear, looking unpresentable.

_**"Yeah, like this. I've already told you that you look beautiful, so I don't see what the problem is; unless the real reason is that you don't want to do it with me, in which case I'll insist anyway."**_ Noah said smiling flirty and you looked at him frowning and amused.

_**"It seems I don't have any options."**_ You replied still amused.

_**"It seems you don't. So, let's go, shall we?"**_ Noah said looking into your eyes while grinning.

So Noah and you walked to the nearest coffee shop that was around. The coffee shop was almost empty because it was still early in the morning. You sat on a table that was right next to a window. You ordered a non-fat coffee and he ordered a cappuccino coffee. You were very silent and the way Noah was looking at you, very fixedly and straight into your eye, was kind of uncomfortable.

_**"So, what were you doing so early on a Sunday at the Broadway Park?"**_ You asked as trying to start a conversation.

_**"I'm used to train every day, very early in the morning. The Broadway Park is one of my favorite places to do it; it's always very quiet."**_ Noah answered with a sassy smile. _**"What about you?"**_

_**"Oh, just the same. Only that this was the first time I trained there; just because I recently moved here, to the North Campus, so I didn't know much about places where I could train."**_ You answered smiling slightly, taking a sip of your coffee.

_**"So that's the reason why I haven't seen you that much lately. I only could get to see you at class, but you always seem to be very concentrated."**_ Noah said looking fixedly into your eyes. Wow, his ice blue eyes were really piercing; and mesmerizing. _**"I think the last time we had a fluent conversation was when we were at the Blind Pig and you had a dispute with a curly haired guy."**_

_**"Oh, you mean Darren. Yes, I think that was the last time." **_You answered quiet.

_**"Yeah, Darren. I forgot his name. Is that guy your boyfriend or something? Because I remember he kissed you and I remember pretty well that the first day I saw you, you were with another guy, a tall and muscular guy with green eyes." **_Noah asked very intrigued. You smiled a bit uncomfortable because this was kind of private and Noah and you weren't like really good friends. But he was nice all the times he was with you, so, why wouldn't you answer?

_**"No, Darren is not my boyfriend. He was, in high school; and that day he was out of himself for personal reasons. He's my friend and he is really a nice guy, despite the way he was that day. And the other guy, the tall guy, he's Brian, my best friend since years."**_ You answered trying to feel comfortable.

_**"Is Brian your best friend? Isn't he your lover or something?" **_Noah asked really curious with a slight smile.

_**"Oh, not at all! Brian is just my best friend. There's no way he could ever be more than my best friend."**_ You replied chuckling softly, thinking how weird and ridiculous it'd be to be more than best friends with Brian.

_**"And all this time thinking I couldn't compete with a guy like him."**_ Noah said chuckling in a sassy way. His comment made you frown slightly and you felt a bit uncomfortable again. _**"But, do you have any boyfriend? I mean, a girl like you surely has a boyfriend."**_ Noah said flirty, looking intensely into your eyes. You took a sip of coffee, looking down to avoid his piercing gaze.

_**"No, I'm single."**_ You answered still avoiding his gaze.

_**"You're single? Oh well, well, well; that's very interesting and very good news for me." **_Noah said very flirty and when you looked up he was like devouring you with his eyes. He really wasn't ashamed of flirting and he was good at it with his sensual smile and gaze. _**"Yet, I can't believe you're single. You must be very demanding when it comes to accept a guy; with your beauty you're in position to do it." **_He said again very flirty with a sensual smile.

However, you didn't like so much that comment. Why should someone have to be pretty to be in position? In position for what, in any case? Everybody was in position to choose certain people with who to have a relationship and shouldn't be based on beauty but on feelings.

_**"I'm not demanding. If I'm with someone is because I know that someone, because I like his personality, because I consider he's the right for me because of the way he is and the way he makes me feel; something that has nothing to do with physical beauty."**_ You answered without smiling, looking into his eyes. He didn't take it in a bad way, instead, he smiled.

_**"I like the way you think. Most people are superficial when it comes to be with a partner; you aren't. I really appreciate it since it's something remarkable."**_ Noah said smiling friendly this time and you frowned slightly. Maybe you judged him, something you shouldn't have done. _**"I hate when girls want to be with me for my appearance, not for the way I am. I always feel as if they're objectifying me and that's an awful feeling, isn't it?" **_Noah said now looking at some random point of the table, frowning as if he was thoughtful; while you were listening to him intently. _**"Like sometimes I feel as if no one is really interested in getting to know how I am and that makes me feel kinda bad because with those girls I never have anything to talk about because they're only interested in getting in my pants instead having an actual fruitful conversation. It's like a lonely life."**_ Noah said still frowning and thoughtful and then he looked up to you with his mesmerizing eyes. It was as if he just described yourself there. You definitely judged him.

_**"I feel exactly the same."**_ You said sighing, taking a sip of your coffee.

_**"Yeah, but then there are people like you, beautiful outside and inside, who's willing to talk to me... In a friendly way, of course. Then you realize it's only a matter of time to find the right person with who hang out." **_He said smiling with his sexy smile. Of course you smiled back at him. He was really handsome, and he wasn't just a guy who loved to boast of his beauty, he was also nice.

_**"Well, thank you, I guess." **_You said smiling softly, feeling flattered, maybe.

_**"You're very welcome."**_ He said smiling sensually and looking piercingly into your eyes. You couldn't avoid feeling a bit nervous whenever he looked at you that way; his gaze was very intense. _**"So, now that I know you're single and considering you don't have to respect certain schedules that a relationship would demand, what about if I invite you for lunch and then to the movies? I've heard about a good film that is currently in the cinema called The Prestige, starring Christian Bale and Hugh Jackman. And after that we could go to some coffee shop and keep talking to get to know each other a bit more."**_ Noah said smiling widely and looking at you in a very flirty way. You felt kind of overwhelmed for all he proposed.

_**"Oh!"**_ You exclaimed still feeling overwhelmed. _**"I'd like that. But, unfortunately, I already have plans for today. Maybe another time."**_ You replied smiling very slightly, trying to sound polite. But Noah looked at you kind of disappointed.

_**"Well, if you don't want, you should just tell me; I won't feel offended."**_ Noah said looking deeply into your eyes and you had to look away because again, his gaze was making you feel uncomfortable.

_**"No, it's not that I don't want. Trust me, if I didn't want it, I'd have just let you know and I wouldn't have told you maybe another time; I'd have made it pretty clear that I don't want. I tend to be kind of harsh and determined when it comes to say no to something I don't want." **_You said now looking at him serious, being honest and he smiled sensually again. _**"I really have plans for today." **_

_**"Does your plan involve a guy?"**_ He asked intrigued, looking piercingly into your eyes. Why was he asking those things? You were going to take it in a good way; you didn't want to think he was flirting with you and he wanted to get into your life, like forcing it.

_**"Not only one guy but four guys, and I'm the only girl. I guess I'm like their bro."**_ You answered chuckling softly, trying to make it as a joke. Noah raised his eyebrows in surprise and smiled mischievously.

_**"So, you like fivesome."**_ He said raising an eyebrow mischievously. You looked at him squinting, thinking how wanky and inappropriate it sounded. You really didn't know what to think about this guy.

_**"I'll just ignore your comment."**_ You said looking away and taking a sip of your coffee.

_**"You know I was joking, don't you?"**_ Noah said after a while and you looked at him again. He was looking at you intently, not smiling now.

_**"I hope so; otherwise I'll just kick your ass and kick it so hard that you won't be able to walk to me again. I can be funny and nice and all, but there's something called respect that when people decide to mess with it, I can turn into a real bitch. I won't let anyone disrespect me."**_ You said very serious, looking at him as Noah was raising his eyebrows, looking intensely into your eyes.

_**"A girl with strong temperament and confidence; one of the most appealing things in a woman."**_ He said smiling in a flirty way and you just remained serious. _**"It's really good to know you make people respect you. World needs more women like you."**_ He said now smiling friendly. What was up with this guy? How could he be flirty and friendly at the same time? Was he a flirty guy or was he actually nice and friendly? He was weird.

_**"Are you always this flirt with everybody?"**_ You finally asked intrigued, looking at him straight in his eye. Noah looked at you surprised by the question and he chuckled softly.

_**"No, only with the people that interest me, like you."**_ Noah answered very, but very flirty this time. You looked at him serious, uncomfortable and a bit annoyed; he shouldn't act with you like this, he didn't know you. _**"And that was another joke."**_ He cleared up and you looked at him frowning. _**"I've been told I was flirty; truth is I'm not flirty; I don't even know how to flirt. People tend to confuse my kindness with flirtation. Maybe it's something I have in my face or in my voice, I don't quite understand; but sometimes it's pretty annoying or exasperating, because people always misinterpret me and they call me rude things like asshole when actually all I'm trying to do is to talk or joke. I'm trying to find out why people think all the time I'm flirty, so I can change that, because it's really not a cool thing when you try to make new friends."**_ Noah answered frowning slightly, looking at his coffee mug.

_**"Well yeah, maybe it's just the way you say things; and the intense way you look at people with your piercing eyes and the sensual way you smile."**_ You answered without being aware of what you were saying. When you realized it and looked at him, he was looking at you frowning amused.

_**"I don't know if I should feel flattered or if I should feel as though someone stabbed me because of the way I look."**_ Noah said and you looked away, feeling a bit embarrassed.

_**"Just forget what I said."**_ You said while taking a sip of your coffee.

_**"Deal."**_ Noah said smiling amused, taking a sip of his own coffee while looking at you straight in your eye. _**"To avoid the uncomfortable situation, I'll ask you something..."**_ He said mysteriously and amused and you looked at him suspiciously. _**"How's your project of Figure Painting going so far?"**_

_**"Oh!"**_ You exclaimed relieved for the kind of question that was. And then you smiled slightly because it was a good topic of conversation. _**"It's really bad. I haven't even started it because I haven't found a model yet. I guess nowadays no one wants to pose for you, I have no idea why." **_You said frowning and thoughtful. _**"I have time, I guess. What about you?" **_

_**"Oh, mine is going pretty well, actually. I've found a female model and she's nice and she's willing to pose for me all the time I need; I guess it's only because of the payment. And I guess it's going well because I love that course." **_Noah replied with a nice smile. _**"What's your favorite course?"**_

_**"Umm, well, I'm not sure. I love so many courses such as Acting, Public Art and Urban Intervention, Visual Storytelling and Playwriting. It's a mix of art, writing and acting. I love that all."**_ You replied.

_**"Good choices. What about Photography? Do you still hate it?"**_ He asked with a soft chuckle.

_**"Ugh, yeah. Not so much, though. I think I'm starting to like it, but it'll never be one of my favorite courses." **_You answered in all honesty.

_**"Come on! That's such a great course! It's very interesting because you can combine art and writing with a photo. It's pretty amazing."**_ Noah exclaimed cheerfully and you giggled and shook your head. _**"Give it a chance. Besides, I don't know why complain about it if you're the best in the course. The professor admires your talent, so do I, and so does everybody."**_ Noah said complimenting you and you just looked down with a shy smile, feeling very flattered.

_**"I guess it's only luck. I'm not very dedicated to that course. And just because I get good scores doesn't mean I like it. I just don't know why I get good scores."**_ You answered shrugging.

_**"Maybe the professor has a crush on you."**_ Noah said jokingly while winking and laughing.

You laughed softly, looking down while remembering how weird your professor acted around you; more after you asked him if he was Jim's relative. Damn. You've just realized something that made you feel a bit frightened and also confused and suspicious. Jim hasn't appeared in your life during last year; and right after you found out that your Photography professor had his same last name, right after Darren told you that Jim was the one who forced him to leave you, and right after you asked Brian to get information about it; Jim appeared again to mess in your life and Brian's life, but fortunately, at least, not in Darren's life. Oh damn, oh damn. What if the professor was acting weird with you because he was indeed a Jim's relative and he was telling Jim things about you? This couldn't be just a coincidence. Shit, you needed to get more information about Jim to end with all of this shit, mainly to stop him hurting Brian even more.

_**"Are you okay? You seem to be very thoughtful and concerned." **_Noah asked gingerly. _**"Is that something I said that bothered you?"**_

_**"Not at all; it's not you."**_ You answered frowning, looking down, still feeling very suspiciously. _**"I'm so sorry, Noah. I was having a really good time with you, but I gotta go." **_You said standing up and you finally looked at Noah. He seemed to be very puzzled, frowning in confusion and not getting what was happening.

_**"I'm really sorry if I said or did something to make you feel so hasty to go."**_ Noah said looking into your eyes and this time it wasn't one of his flirty looks; it was just a little bit sad look.

_**"No, really, this isn't about you; you were nice. I just have things to do and... I really gotta go."**_ You said apologetically and Noah looked down, apparently sadly and still guilty.

_**"Okay, I get it. I'm used to people coming up with excuses to go away while talking to me; surely because of all this thing that they think I'm flirting with them when I'm not. I'm so sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable." **_Noah said still looking down and very different than the way he has been talking. You looked at him feeling very guilty. _**"Don't worry; I guess I'll see you around, at class."**_ He said now looking up with a bright smile. _**"Thank you for taking time to have a coffee with me. Have a nice day, sweetie."**_ He said smiling friendly.

_**"I'm really sorry, Noah. I don't want you to think this is an excuse to go away, because it's not. I really have to go, but I'm glad I had a coffee with you, I hope we can make this again."**_ You said smiling friendly to let him know it wasn't that you didn't want to talk to him. He just smiled and nodded. _**"Have a nice day, Noah."**_ You said friendly and kissed his cheek. _**"See you around!"**_ You greeted waving your hand once you were walking to leave the coffee shop.

You walked to your room, always checking if there was someone following you; if Jim, or whoever that person at the park was, was following you. It was only when you got inside your room when you felt safe. Brian wasn't in the living room or kitchen; he was surely in the bedroom, studying as he said he would do. You needed to tell him what happened this morning. When you walked into the bedroom, you found Brian in his bed, but he wasn't studying, he was sleeping with a lot of newspapers around him and a highlighter. You walked towards him very slowly, cautious not to wake him, and you kneeled next to his bed. You looked at him very intently. He seemed to be really tired, he had dark circles and his hair was all disheveled; he didn't have a peaceful face while sleeping as he used to have months ago before all that happened with his dad and the break-in; he had a sad and concerned face, not to mention a very exhausted expression; yet he was still beautiful. You tried to see why he had a lot of newspapers around him and you found out the reason. He has been looking for jobs and he has highlighted the possible places he could send a CV; even if he already had a distance job that Mandy has offered. Next to the newspapers there was a book he had to read for college. You looked at him again feeling really sad for him; he was being very hard on himself and he wouldn't listen to you whenever you tried to convince him to take at least a little break. You looked at him while thinking how unfair all of this was. He was only 20 years old and he already had to take so many responsibilities that any other guy his age didn't have: get high scores in college to get a better scholarship that University kept rejecting despite his hard effort; have a part-time job to earn the enough money to afford all the expenses of college and medicines for his dad, and not content with this, he was looking for a second job; he had to take care of his dad in the distance because as time passed his dad's disease was getting worse and worse, so he also had to pay a nurse to take care of him because apparently there were certain simple tasks he couldn't do alone anymore; deal with the fact that the doctors told him that the medicines for his dad definitely weren't having effect so he had to undergo surgery that was very expensive and he couldn't get the money to afford it; deal with the fact that the doctors told him that his dad's health was worsening and there weren't many hopes for him, fact that was devastating for Brian because he couldn't do anything about it but he didn't want to give up hopes and he wasn't even able to go visit him because he had no money for the flight to San Francisco and he wouldn't accept your help to afford it; and besides all of that he kept receiving threats from W that was surely Jim, telling him terrible things about his dad and the risk he was running by being alone in San Francisco, so Brian wouldn't stop checking all the time if his dad was alright, and this was insane. And there was also the fact that Brian kept feeling lonely even if he wouldn't admit it again since that time you talked to him in US Virgin Islands. He wouldn't talk to you about the girl he mentioned and he wouldn't want to date anyone; and now that you were living with him, you were sure he wasn't with any girl. And he mentioned he hasn't kissed any girl since high school and it was still like that. Why would happen it all to him? It rains hardest on the people who deserve the sun, you thought while tears started to stream down your face in silence while looking at Brian sleeping. You took all the newspapers, the book and the highlighter and you put them aside. Brian didn't even notice, he was surely very tired since lately he hasn't slept the enough. Once that you put it all aside, you lay down in bed next to him trying not to wake him; he needed to sleep. You remained looking at him while shedding tears and then you started caressing his hair very softly. If only you could do something else for him and relieve the burden he was carrying. You definitely shouldn't tell him what happened in the morning, you didn't want to worry him with something else, and this was already too much for him to endure. You held his hand and took it to your cheek while still looking at his face and silently shedding tears. This was when he opened his eyes very slowly and frowned slightly before looking at you with sleepy and tired eyes.

_**"Hi."**_ You whispered sweetly with a warm smile despite the tears, still holding his hand.

_**"Hi."**_ He whispered back with a kind smile.

How could he keep smiling with all the terrible things that were happening to him? How could he always be so nice, sweet, and cheery if you knew he was in pain? Because you heard him sometimes, late at night when he thought you were sleeping, crying in silence. But he would never stop smiling at you. He was doing this for you and you just couldn't stand the fact you couldn't do anything else to help him with his troubles. This made you sob even more. You wanted him to be truly happy. Brian finally noticed you were sobbing and he frowned worried.

_**"Hey, what's wrong, Sunny?"**_ Brian asked softly, caressing your hand with his thumbs.

_**"Nothing." **_You said smiling affectionately at him.

You couldn't tell him what was in your mind, because he hated whenever you were feeling sad for him because he wouldn't stop saying he wanted to see you smiling as always, he wanted to see you happy and cheerful as you deserved; he wouldn't stop saying he was fine because he's got an amazing best friend who was always supporting him, and that was you; he wouldn't stop saying he was sure things were going to get better so he was going to be definitely fine, so you didn't have to worry about anything. Despite all the shit he was going through, he was still positive about everything.

_**"I admire you, Brian; you know that, right?"**_ You said still smiling at him. Brian looked deeply into your eyes and he smiled warmly.

_**"And I admire you, so I think this is fair enough."**_ He replied, letting out his hand to caress your cheek very smoothly. You moved closer to him and wrapped your arms around him while burying your head in his chest, as he held you in his arms. _**"It seems that someone woke up in an affectionate way today."**_ He said giggling softly and you giggled along with him.

_**"Shut up and just cuddle with me."**_ You said moving even closer, nuzzling your nose in his chest, something that made him shiver, maybe because of the tickle.

_**"Aren't we already doing that?"**_ He asked again with a giggle.

_**"Yes, but you're not doing right your part."**_ You replied softly.

_**"And how would it be to do right my part, may I know?" **_He asked amused, while still holding you in his arms.

_**"You have to caress me." **_You said in a whisper while still burying your head on his chest. He kept holding you in his arms but he didn't do anything else. _**"Brian? Caress me."**_ You repeated when after waiting for a long time he didn't do anything at all. Then he started rubbing your back very slowly.

_**"Is that fine now?"**_ He asked.

_**"Yeah, it's better; but try to add affection to your caresses; you seem like a robot rubbing my back." **_You tried to joke and it worked because he chuckled.

So he started to rub your back in a very smooth and sweet way with one hand and he started caressing your shoulder and arm with his other hand in a very comforting way. He rested his head on yours and he started nuzzling his nose on your head, very slowly. You tangled your legs with his as you also started caressing him. Then he moved the hand that was rubbing your back right to the nape of your neck and he moved it up to start running his fingers through your hair, as massaging your head with his fingertips while still nuzzling his nose on the top of your head and rubbing your shoulder and arm, caressing them with his thumb. It was such the silence in the bedroom that you could hear his heavy breathing and his heart beating fast. He was really good at this; he was really sweet and affectionate and he really knew how to caress someone, even though he hasn't done something like this with someone in a long. He kissed softly your temple and you moved your head to look at him. He had his eyes closed and he seemed to be enjoying this, he had a facial expression as though he was longing for some kind of affection for so long and never anyone gave it to him. Then you moved your head closer to him to kiss fondly his cheek. He opened his eyes and stared into your eyes in a very intense way with his deep green eyes. You didn't take your eyes off him and you started caressing his cheek very smoothly, smiling affectionately. He smiled back at you still staring into your eyes and then he kissed your hand.

_**"This is certainly a good way to wake up."**_ He whispered while still smiling and looking deeply into your eyes. You chuckled softly while still caressing his cheek with your thumb as he held your wrist and caressed it with his thumb. _**"Is this for a specific reason?" **_

_**"No reason, just a way to remind you that I love you."**_ You answered kindly and Brian's eyes twinkled. This made you wonder for how long he would still feel lonely, if just a nice and simple gesture like this could make his eyes twinkle like that.

_**"I love you too and I hope I did right my part this time."**_ He said giggling softly, with bright eyes. His eyes looked really beautiful with that twinkle.

_**"Oh, you undoubtedly did." **_You replied with a warm smile. _**"You have really precious eyes, Brian." **_You whispered and he looked at you surprised, letting out a short and shy chuckle.

_**"Thank you, I guess."**_ He answered shyly, blushing slightly.

You couldn't help smiling because of how cute this was. You held his hand and intertwined your fingers with his, as you both looked at your hands and then looked into each other's eyes again. You thought that the girl who could ever get to be with him was going to be a very lucky girl. Brian was really a sweet and warm-hearted person if you knew him as well as you did. Your best friend really deserved to be with the most kind-hearted girl in the world; Brian truly deserved the sun.

* * *

_**"So, what are the plans for today?" **_Chuck asked while we were having lunch without a previous breakfast because we all woke up at noon.

_**"We could just stay here and be lazy."**_ Joey said yawning.

_**"You slept like ten hours, Joey. How can you be sleepy?" **_Chuck asked looking at him disturbed, frowning.

_**"I have troubles, okay?"**_ Joey said serious, widening his eyes; then he chuckled amused.

_**"You suck, Joey."**_ Chuck said chuckling amused. _**"Darren, what are we up to today?"**_

_**"I don't know." **_I said also yawning and shrugging. _**"Freckles hasn't texted me, so I guess she and Brian aren't coming. We could go to the North Campus and meet some of the guys and just fool around."**_

_**"Isn't there really anything you can do in Ann Arbor? Definitely next time you're coming to NYC."**_ Chuck said while taking a sip of water.

_**"Actually there are a lot of things you can do; after all this is a college city. But you have to understand the fact we're lazy."**_ I replied while yawning again. _**"You didn't have to deal with the fatigue of moving."**_

_**"You just sounded like a grumpy old man, bro."**_ Chuck said laughing and I laughed along with him, rubbing my eyes.

_**"Next time, you'll help us with the moving; then you'll be another grumpy old man and you won't feel excluded."**_ I replied with a comeback.

_**"Or next time, you could buy one of those pills for pain for old men and take one of them; so you'll feel revitalized. That would be way better than me helping you with the moving."**_ Chuck said while eating his sandwich.

_**"You suck."**_ I replied while also eating my sandwich.

Then Joey and Chuck started talking about the things you could do in Ann Arbor while I was only listening to them, eating my sandwich because I was really starving. This was until my phone buzzed and I grabbed it to read the text message while taking a sip of water. It was from Freckles. I smiled when I saw it was a text message from her, because she hasn't forgotten to text me as she said she would do.

From Freckles: **Do you already have plans for today? **

To Freckles: **None; unless if you consider as a plan Chuck saying I'm a grumpy old man who needs to get a pill. So, please save me from this.**

From Freckles: **What if we get you a pill at downtown? I bring the stick for you, so you'd be able to walk, grumpy old man. **

When I read her response I couldn't help laughing out loud. She was also mocking me! Man, this was funny and she was really funny. I looked up to find Chuck and Joey looking at me because of my rowdy laughter.

_**"Who are you texting?"**_ Joey asked intrigued.

_**"Freckles."**_ I answered while eating a bite of my sandwich, reading her text message again, amused.

_**"Cool, what does she say?"**_ Joey asked.

_**"Also that I'm a grumpy old man and she'll get me a pill at downtown. It seems we have a plan now." **_I answered smiling amused and excited.

_**"And you seem to be young again. Interesting what a lady can do."**_ Chuck mocked me and I just looked at him amused.

_**"Do not complain, at least Freckles has a plan to do today, so you won't have to deal with grumpy old men." **_I answered.

_**"Hey, hold on, buddy! Do not count me as a grumpy old man; you're the only grumpy old man; I'm a cool old man."**_ Joey corrected me and I laughed as I threw him a piece of my sandwich on his face.

_**"Whatever, I'll reply Freckles to see what's on her mind." **_I said and grabbed my phone again.

To Freckles: **Spare me the stick and bring me a candy, then I'll be able to forgive your comment about the grumpy old man. What are you up to?**

From Freckles: **We'll see about the candy, I don't want to take my words back. My mom taught me to tell the truth. Downtown, 4pm, Beezy's Cafe. I do have plans, but everything will be a surprise. Bring comfortable clothes.**

To Freckles: **You got me with the surprise thing and the comfortable clothes. Is that okay if I wear baggy sweatpants and a baggy UM hoodie?**

From Freckles: **Bring comfortable clothes but look presentable. You wouldn't like to wait outside if we go to certain place. See you soon, old man.**

_**"So? What are our plans now?"**_ Joey asked and I looked at him.

_**"I don't know. We have to be at Beezy's Cafe at 4pm and wear comfortable but presentable clothes."**_ I replied excited.

_**"So that's it? We're gonna go out only for a coffee or drink? Why are you so excited about it? It's not like we're gonna do something extravagant and funny." **_Chuck said frowning, looking at me as if I were crazy.

_**"Chuck, you shouldn't underestimate the ability of Freckles when it comes to plans."**_ Joey said amused, he was also excited and Chuck looked at him frowning.

_**"What? Are you excited too?"**_ Chuck asked in disbelief.

_**"Of course I am, and so should you."**_ Joey answered while chuckling amused.

_**"Why? Because of a simple coffee?"**_ Chuck asked still in disbelief.

_**"You see, Chuck... It's not gonna be a simple coffee because Freckles is the one who has a plan."**_ I said with a really amused smile.

_**"So?"**_ Chuck asked frowning, confused and bewildered.

_**"If Freckles is the one who has a plan, then it'll start with something very simple as drinking a coffee; but what will happen next is a huge mystery and she won't say a damn word of what she has planned; so the hang out is just a constant surprise. One thing is assured; you'll have a blast, bro."**_ I answered really excited and Joey nodded enthusiastically.

_**"That's why we all love Freckles and her plans."**_ Joey added and I nodded in agreement.

_**"Oh, man! What is Freckles? A super girl?"**_ Chuck asked really amused while shaking his head.

_**"She really is."**_ Joey replied.

_**"Hell yeah. You'll see, bro. You'll love her."**_ I said smiling widely.

_**"Yeah, I doubt it, but whatever. Let's see how Freckles surprises us, if she ever gets that." **_Chuck answered shrugging indifferently, but with a slight smile.

I didn't worry about his answer, because I was sure he was going to have a blast and I knew he was going to love Freckles again, eventually. So, after having our hearty lunch, we all got ready to hang out. I decided to wear a pair of blue jeans that were really comfortable, a white t-shirt and a red jogging jacket. Comfortable and presentable enough. I really had no idea what could be in Freckles' mind; but I was really excited. We were almost ready until I heard someone knocking the door. Weird, we weren't expecting anyone. I was the one to walk to the door because Joey and Chuck were still getting ready. I opened the door and my excited face turned into a disgruntled face when I saw the person standing there.

_**"What the hell are you doing here?"**_ I asked harshly while Kelly was looking fixedly into my eyes.


	48. Unpredictable plans

A/N: Today I'm very lazy to write something, so I'll just answer your reviews!

alicegursk: I can't take away the sound of your evil laugh! You sounded like The Joker, oh dear! "Why so serious?" Or... You sounded like Bellatrix! "I killed Sirius Black!" No! Mental trauma! See, that's what you caused! You're as insane and cruel as Bellatrix Lestrange! I'll have to be careful around you! Alright, ah! I hate saying this, but I give up. Someday, in the right moment, you'll tell me, I guess. But please don't hurt my feelings! Don't be as me, I was wrong! I'm sure you had a fantastic time there! Summer, fuck yeah, I love it! Lucky you, here's almost winter; yet I can't complain because the weather is crazy and it seems is spring-summer. Ah, I want vacations! And I won't have them till February, so screw everything! Well, well, well, I want to see how you appear in the story to act like a big man and make them kiss each other, I want to see Freckles and Darren's faces when you do that, I want to see everything of that! I guess I could take the role as spectator for a while, it could be quite interesting; so I won't make them be together, so I won't miss this chance. You see, you were cruel? I'll be cruel again! Don't tease me because I suffer and... and... and I'll make Darren and Freckles suffer because of this. That sounded as something a terrible person would say, oh god. I have bipolar problems. Seems a little bit more now... What the hell could it be? Is it something related to Freckles and Darren? Ah, this is what I call frustration, frustration because of you!

Emma: Emma, hey! Don't apologize for that, you don't have to! I completely understand; if you can't, you can't and that's it all. We all have moments when we're super busy that we don't have time for anything; it happens to me too, it happens to everybody. Besides, the reason why you couldn't review is a super important reason! Ah! I bet you were (and are) very excited to start preparing everything for your time in nyc and Julliard! And you have a twin brother? How cool is that? I always dreamed of having a twin brother or sister; obviously that will never happen, but I can still dream, haha. Were you nervous when you talked to your future professors? How was that experience? I guess it's kind of intimidating the first time you see them. Oh a central place! That's the best you can do when you first move to another city, because you have everything close and you don't have to take too many buses or subways, one of the complications when you first move. And two handsome and nice guys, huh? It's really good to know that you'll live with nice guys, because nice people can help a lot when you're feeling down because you miss your family. It seems something silly, but you'll see it's not; it's a good point to keep in mind. And handsome! Well, let's see what will happen there; living with handsome people can make you feel confused, not always but it can happen! So, at some point, I understand you mom's concern. Yet, if I were in your place, I'd feel excited for that! haha. The important thing about this is that... you got two rooms! You'll need space, so that's great! And besides, the guys are attending Julliard as well, so that's really good; usually you have troubles when you live with people who are studying something very different from what you're studying because of the activities you have to do. All in all, I think you found an excellent place to live! Then... Have they been interested in your work? Have they been following your work? Whoa! That's very impressive and that's for sure good news! Didn't it feel weird when they told you that your representatives were in your musicals, plays and ballets? I mean, they were there all the time and you didn't even know! I think they're actually spies, you should be careful! I'm just kidding. Now, in all seriousness, that's amazing! You know, they already know you and they chose you for your work because they are aware of your ability! You should feel super proud of it! So, I'm pretty sure you'll rock the auditions! September, it's seems like you have time, but at the same time, it's like September is only in less than 3 months! I bet you're getting ready to show them all you can do and leave them speechless with your breathtaking performance! Your prom theme was the 50s? Oh dear, I love it, it's so classy! So, wait, not only you can act, dance and sing, but you can also design clothes and make dresses? I feel like a total undistinguished, ignorant and incompetent person! haha. Seriously, you seem to be super talented. Well, from your description I can picture your dress and the make-up and I'm sure you looked very pretty and also stylish. I love red lips, that's my favorite lipstick color! Now you'll be able to see all the pictures you took and say: Damn, I was gorgeous that day! And that and the good time you had are gonna be a good memory forever. I remember my prom wasn't so cool, such a shame! Well, it's good that you and your boyfriend (well, it'd be ex) broke up in good terms, that's very mature and something good, I hate when relationships end in a bad way, like it makes you question a lot of things that aren't nice. About myself? Oh! I don't have much to say, only that I've been super busy with college and it's gonna get worse until August, because the first term is ending; but after that (hopefully), I'll be doing only my final thesis to finally get my degree in February; thanks god you didn't study architecture, here it lasts 6 years and that's a lot of years! I can't wait to start working! Yet, I'm a little afraid of it at the same time, I'm still not sure what I want to do or if I'm gonna get a job, or things like those that always happen. But I'm sure I want to apply for a graduate study in urban planning and design in another country; I was thinking about studying in US, but it'd be kind of complicated, it involves a lot of complicated things, one of them is that I must learn the language and also legal issues; yet I'll try not to lose hope. Gosh, I think I'm talking too much! Now, thank you a lot for saying I'm smart! I'm really not; I mean, I'd love that, but I still have a lot to learn to be a bit smart! Those views of things are just the silly debates I have with myself, trying to figure out different things in life, I love observing and thinking all the time, I'm kind of weird. Oh! Darren will meet a new girl for sure; you only have to wait 2 chapters! But the girl may or may not be just a new friend, I don't know!

Guest: That bitch of Kelly is back! Why would she be back? What does she want? Would Darren kick her out or not? Is Kelly a real bitch or not? Ah! Let's see what happens! Yeah, maybe syrup on pancakes it's not a good idea, I have some kind of rejection to syrup; in general, I dislike the word syrup, it reminds me to when I was a toddler and I was sick and my parents forced me to take syrup. Just, ugh. So yes, I think I'll share my Nutella with you, just so you see that I'm nice! It's really hard to share Nutella! I never had a teddy elephant! Aww! I love it! Yes, you are that cool! Ugh, exams, they suck! How were them? I couldn't wish you good luck, so I wish you luck for your French speaking exam! Oh, you'll see what happens with Chuck and Freckles in this chapter, and you'll figure out that maybe he's not completely okay with her, but they will have a talk! Let's see what happens after that! Kelly in a male disguise! That's so effing good! haha, oh dear! The teacher, oh, the teacher will remain apart until the right time comes and the mystery will be revealed. No one likes Noah and the guy keeps messing around, but don't worry, Freckles won't let him mess with her... or yes?

Adorkable Sherlock: Well, hello adorkable Sherlock! You might have a kind of problem because, seriously, Mondays? The worst day of the week (you know, for several reasons, but mostly because, oh damn, it's the beginning of the week and I'm already tired). But, when you comment on Mondays, then my Mondays have something good; so you're allowed to review on Mondays. I promise this time you won't have too much to think, so you're safe and you can read the chapter! Who is the asshole who wanted to make you have a nervous breakdown? We need to find him and kick his ass so hard so that he won't dare to mess again and he'll know with who he is messing! Or just screw those asshole people, who do they think they are? Aww, I'm happy that my reply helped to dissipate those feelings and that nervous breakdown! Remember, asshole people don't deserve your tears; so don't give them anything because they don't deserve anything. Oh god! Do I deserve the sun? No, just stop because see? You're making me feel thrilled. To say someone deserves the sun is to say too much, it's something beautiful, I guess. Teenage problems? Old people like me (I'll steal Darren's stick!) and even older people (with gray hair and wrinkles, I'm not there yet!) also have those problems from time to time, only that they don't show it. It seems there's no age limits for assholes; even if the causes of being an asshole are different. And we, the old grumpy people, say those things to kiddos like you, because we want to feel superior, feeling that we got over all of those shitty things; which is very stupid if you stop to think about that. Or maybe we only want to help but we never find the right way. And yes, you were wrong, I'm not like 80, I'm actually 90; and people my age also have nervous breakdowns, but probably caused because we lost our stick or we forgot to take all the pills we have to take. Dammit, I forgot what pill to take this time! The red or the blue one? Nervous breakdown. Dammit, where's my stick? I need it to walk! Nervous breakdown. Dammit, what day is today? Nervous breakdown. Dammit, I forgot where I left my glasses, I can't see! Nervous breakdown. Dammit, that guy is a real asshole! Nervous breakdown, boom! Explosion. It happens, you know? I only hope that if you have an explosion because of a nervous breakdown, you take that asshole with you. Okay, I think I'm being silly and you may be thinking... Gosh, this girl really forgot to take the pills. Math is the worst thing that can happen; there are few things that are worse than math; soup, for example; I really hate soup, it's depressing, like... this is not real food! This is only some weird flavored liquid I'm drinking, give me a taco! No, god, don't go to summer school! Back in my high school time (see? another proof why I'm old, this is something only old people say!), I was a really bad student and I liked partying, and thanks to math, one year, I had to go to summer school. It was the worst that happened to me, like damn! When are gonna be my real vacations? Yes, it really surprised me that it was you! Well, keep feeling thrilled because that's the truth, my mom taught me to always tell the truth. Well, sometimes I lie, like when I arrive late somewhere, I always blame the bus and the traffic jam when actually the real reason is because I fell asleep; but that's just a little white lie, isn't it? And in any case, what I told you it's not a lie. Now, believe it because I wasn't good at it, but I think in part was because I hated the teacher and the teacher hated me, maybe. And I couldn't agree more with you and Carson Phillips; I recently watched a movie (it's more like a documentary) called The Prohibited Education that talks about that schools are the first place to brainwash you and make you adapt to what society wants and it started since the industrial revolution. It's kind of traumatic to know all the things that the documentary showed. And I was like you in high school, I only wanted to get the fuck out there, mostly because I didn't like my high school (it was a private school run by nuns with students who thought they ruled the world because they were very wealthy, and I wasn't like that and for that people make my life impossible, argh, screw them). Now I'm happy because I started college and people here is really cool and no one gives a damn shit about money and those stupid things, you just talk to everybody no matter if they're white, black, Asian, wealthy, poor, hippie, hipster, purple, orange or a dinosaur. And I like beaches and cute animals that don't bite but I don't like sushi. I'm also glad I met you! You're like the funniest person ever! And even if you say you're a badass, you're a cute badass, that's possible, right? Anyway, what I want to tell you is that you always make me laugh, you have that ability to make people laugh and that's one of the greatest things; and besides, you have that ability to make people feel comfortable while talking to you, I mean, I have this feeling I can talk to you about whatever and you won't judge saying, oh fuck, what a stupid person telling totally lame jokes. No crying babies! I can't stand seeing a baby crying! "He deserves the sun" why was it cruel? Not creepy but cruel? You confuse me sometimes, haha. Oh no, Mia won't appear in a long, but long time, so don't worry, you still have time to get ready! Now, J.K. Rowling 2.0? Seriously? What did I do to deserve being called J.K. Rowling 2.0? Firstly, I don't know why you decided to call me like that, but if it was because of the unnecessary murdering of cool people who did not deserve to die, I don't care; I take that as the biggest compliment. Secondly, how the hell do you know that I consider Brian as Fred? You're a fucking good Sherlock, okay? You'll see what happens to Brian in the future; I may or may not kill him, I may or may not give him the Gryffindor goblin-made sword, I may or may not let him live to become the Headmaster of Hogwarts, I don't know; I actually know it but I ain't telling you! Thirdly, you compared me to the writers of Lost! Oh my wizard God! Did you know that Lost is one of my favorite series ever? Obviously I was highly influenced by Lost when it comes to plot twists! However, I'll never be as good as them. But plot twists all the way. And exactly, I wouldn't be a good Moriarty to your Sherlock otherwise. I need to give you excuses to keep entertaining your Sherlock with unpredictable mysteries to resolve. It's the second time I I kill your brain! That wasn't called creativity and smartness, that was called 'I'm sleepy and I'm in mood to write insane and tangled things'. And I'll consider moving to your country since I want to leave this country because the Mrs. president here is getting on my nerves. And oh god! The thing you told me you thought at first is hilarious! I think I'm good at spanish, I don't know why, but I think I master that language and I have the feeling that so do you! I use the translator 'Writing spanish by a girl who speaks spanish'. And that's a very boring and long name for my own translator site! I can't believe I got my very own website! I feel like Larry Page or Mark Zuckerberg, okay no. Jeez! You really made me laugh with that! And what makes you think that the guy following Freckles wasn't actually Mr. Fluffy with a costume of a guy? Think about that, Sherlock; and be careful tonight when you go to sleep, look under your bed and do not repeat his name in front of the mirror three times or it'll appear! Let's get drunk with butter beer! Actually, I think that would be like a bomb for the stomach, but who cares? It's butter beer! I'll send your way some chocolate frogs and Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans, and Honeydukes Mice Pops. See? I'm providing you a lot of candies and sweets because you're totally awesome, my Sherlock!

MeMi83: Is Darren having feelings for Freckles again? That poor boy is really confused! Let's see what decision he's gonna make, same goes for Freckles. I think this is the time in which their 'we're only friends and are cool with that' starts being something really messy in between the old and new feelings. After all, it's always complicated to be friends with your ex. About your question, I must admit that was a little part of what my brain discusses with itself when thinking about something. I've been through a lot of stages in my life with different point of views, like my person in the present is not the same person I was in the past; some of the things they said were some of the things I thought in my past, some of them are part of my present and some of them are things I'm still wondering. Besides, I was influenced by the debates I sometimes have with my friends, we always debate about random things and it's a great thing to do; that's why I have different points of view. You don't have to apologize for the late review! I understand you're busy, so don't worry. These are crazy times for everybody! I barely have time, so I understand you! Oh! I'm also very excited about Darren's new songs and I completely love them! As you, I can't wait to get the studio versions of the songs! And like you, my favorite song was Once Upon a Time! I simply loved that song, its meaning is wonderful and I think I love it so much because I felt identified with some of the things, and you always love a song more when it's meaningful to some aspects of your life, right? Besides, I loved the melody and everything, I don't know much about music so I can't talk in the correct way with the correct vocabulary. And I also liked very much Words and Any Of Those. In general I like those songs with slow tempos, and I don't even know if that's the right way to explain what I try to say; you know, those songs that are quiet and... Ah! I can't, this exceeds my knowledge. I'm so ignorant! Oh jeez, what a shame, because everyone in my family are musicians. Anyway, I hope you could understand what I tried to say!

Vcriss: Kelly appeared to screw Darren's life again and make everything unnecessarily harder! Or maybe not. What is Kelly plotting this time? And also, what will Darren do about this? But I agree with you on something: She lost every kind of sex privilege. Or well, she shouldn't have any kind of sex privilege with Darren, let's see what happens. And hell yeah! Freckles is the one who has sex privileges; but will she use them? Or does Darren want that? None of them used those privileges so far. And Brian does have sex privileges too? I wanna think it can be applied only to Freckles and not to Darren. But maybe it's only one-part privilege. Would Freckles want to give Brian sex privileges? Mmm, I'm not sure! Yes, Channing had his baby! I haven't seen the baby yet, have you? Is a baby girl, Everly, right? With that daddy, the baby girl is gonna be freaking gorgeous! Don't worry, someday we'll find the formula to clone people and we'll clone Channing so that you'll have him all for you and you'll have a lot of adorable babies! You should start thinking about the names!

Well, well, well, guys! That was it all. Now it's time to know what the hell Kelly is doing at Darren's apartment! What will happen now? You'll figure it out in this chapter! Now, I will proceed to withdraw. Have a totally awesome week full of bird songs! Warm fuzzies!

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**Teenage Dream – Chapter 48 –** **Unpredictable plans.**

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I couldn't believe Kelly was here. How the hell did she know where I lived now? I haven't talked to her since that time she made a fuss saying I was touching her boobs and a huge guy punched me in my face, when actually she was the one who was stalking me. And I really didn't want to see her and less to talk to her; I felt contempt for her and for what she has done that day. Seriously, how the hell did she know where I lived? Because none of my friends liked her, they all thought she was nasty; they would never tell her where I lived. Such an imprudence and audacity to have come here!

_**"I asked you something, answer."**_ I demanded harshly, looking coldly at her.

_**"Can I come in?"**_ She asked softly, completely ignoring the way I was looking at her.

_**"Of course not."**_ I answered harshly again. _**"What are you doing here? How the hell do you know where I live?"**_

_**"I have my own contacts, Criss; so I found you." **_She replied really serious, looking fixedly into my eyes and that made me feel even more irked. _**"And I came here just to talk."**_

_**"Guess what? I don't wanna talk to you. So why don't you just turn around to get the fuck out of here? Thank you." **_I said very harshly and I started closing the door, but she placed a foot to stop it.

_**"I'll better come in."**_ She said haughty, sneaking into my apartment and I looked at her furiously.

_**"What the hell? Get the fuck out of here, Kelly!" **_I yelled very furious but she remained with a quiet expression, crossing her arms, and that made me feel even more furious. _**"I swear I'll call the police if you don't go away." **_

_**"Do you think the police is gonna believe you instead me?"**_ Kelly asked provocatively and I felt very rabid. _**"You perfectly know I can make them believe I'm the one telling the truth, it happened that day at The Blue Apple. What makes you think it won't happen again?"**_

_**"Get the fuck out of my sight."**_ I said very coldly, looking at her almost in an ominous way.

_**"I won't."**_ She said firmly and arrogantly while walking to my couch to sit there.

_**"Excuse me? Who do you think you are to feel like you can do whatever you want in my apartment?"**_ I asked raising my eyebrows, letting out a bitter and incredulous giggle. However, Kelly remained sitting on my couch.

_**"Stop with all that shit and come here. I want to talk."**_ Kelly said roundly.

_**"But I don't want. I want you to leave. Right now." **_I said firmly and severely.

_**"Okay, I'll tell you something. I just came here only to apologize. This is hard for me to say and do, so I'd appreciate if you stop being rude with me."**_ Kelly said expressly, looking straight in my eye. I looked at her agape, raising my eyebrows in surprise, but still incredulous.

_**"How do you expect me not be rude after what you've done that day, Kelly?"**_ I asked disgruntled.

_**"And how do you expect me to make up for that mistake if you're reluctant to talk to me?"**_ Kelly asked looking into my eyes, but this time she didn't talk in an arrogant or nasty way.

_**"Okay, I'm listening to you."**_ I said serious, crossing my arms, still standing.

_**"Can you please sit? It's really awkward to talk this way."**_ Kelly asked, looking down; and she asked it in a softly way.

So yes, I sat on the couch, but very far from her. Then she looked at me and I couldn't see evilness as usual in her eyes. She seemed to be really sorry this time, although I couldn't fully believe it. Anyway, I was going to give her the chance to say whatever she had to say.

_**"I'm really sorry for what I did that day, I acted completely wrong."**_ Kelly started saying softly.

_**"Yes, you did."**_ I commented rudely, looking away.

_**"I know. And I really never apologize to people because I simply don't care about them." **_Kelly said and I looked at her thinking 'what a bitch'; but I didn't say anything. _**"And maybe I shouldn't be apologizing to you because we weren't even friends, we were just fuck buddies and this year nothing was as before, so I guess we are nothing at all."**_ Kelly kept saying and I was just looking at her disgruntled, thinking the weird way she had to apologize to someone. _**"But somehow I have a need to apologize to you, I don't even know why." **_

_**"Should I feel honored?" **_I asked with a bitter short laugh, in a sarcastic way.

Yet, Kelly didn't change her face and she remained quiet, still looking down. Maybe my words and my sarcasm didn't hurt her because she was just like this, because she was used to be the one to be like this nasty, so she didn't mind.

_**"Feel the way you want, I don't care."**_ Kelly answered shrugging; and even if that was a rude comment, she said it softly and not rudely. _**"I don't know why, because I honestly don't know you even if we had sex for a whole year, but I feel as though you were a nice guy unlike other guys I've met. So, I hate to admit this, but I felt kinda bad when I did that the other day. And, even if I don't have to do this and even if it's really ridiculous and I hate doing this, I think I owe you an explanation."**_ Kelly said apparently troubled as I was looking at her frowning. Why did this all seem to be hard to say? Maybe she wasn't one of those girls who used to tell their feelings or whatever, that was why she repeatedly said she hated doing this or that.

_**"I'm listening." **_I commented softly, almost indifferently, looking at her intently as she was looking down and frowning. Yes, this truly seemed to be something hard for her that she wasn't used to do.

_**"I have a problem."**_ Kelly huffed and I looked at her raising my eyebrows.

_**"Do you?"**_ I asked awkwardly.

_**"Yes, I do."**_ Karen said firmly, completely avoiding my gaze. _**"I'm a bitch."**_ She said roundly and I looked at her raising my eyebrows in surprise. Well, at least she admitted that. _**"I can't be nice to people, I say rude things to them, I'm arrogant and I'm always on the defensive, I'm egocentric, I'm not a caring person, I'm not a person who would let you have a deep conversation, and I don't believe in love at all."**_ Kelly said shortly, still looking away and frowning. _**"I don't like being so nasty around people; but I can't be any other way. I just can't accept any kind of nice gesture and I hate when people try to be nice to me, so then I turn into a bitch over them to push them away. I surround myself with superficial relationships because I cannot accept the fact of having a deep relationship with someone; because I simply can't. I try to be with as many people as I can to feel that there's someone; but when someone tries to get closer, I push them away in a really rude and nasty way. I hate when someone compliments me, when someone gives me something, when someone wants to go on a date, when someone wants to share something with me. I'm constantly running away from all of those things; therefore, I act like a bitch so they'll stop bugging me. I can never have something stable; I'm a fickle person who is only seeking for superficial things."**_ Kelly said as I was looking at her stunned. She was really weird. She sighed and frowned. _**"And all of this because I have a problem."**_ Kelly said as if she was frustrated. _**"So, I just wanted to tell you that you're not the problem. I'm not a bitch only because it's you; I'm a bitch with everybody and I can't help it. And I'm not a bitch because you are the problem; I'm a bitch because I have a problem. And that's all I wanted to say."**_

_**"Okay..."**_ I said very low, looking away and raising my eyebrows; really stunned and still thinking how weird she was. Then I looked at her again. _**"May I know what that problem you have is?"**_ I asked intrigued.

Maybe she was only this nasty because of the problem she had and maybe she needed to talk to someone about this; after all, she mentioned she didn't like to be this nasty with people. So maybe if she talked to someone and someone showed her that was interested in what she was going through, maybe she would feel better and stop being a bitch.

_**"Of course I won't tell you, Criss. Haven't you heard me? I hate when people try to have a deep conversation and I hate people being nice to me."**_ Kelly answered rudely.

_**"I'm not gonna be nice to you." **_I answered coldly, shrugging indifferently. I knew this could be a good way to make her talk. Yes, maybe the way was treating her bad. _**"You better tell me, Kelly, because I really don't wanna waste my time with a person like you."**_ I said harshly and she looked at me astonished, raising her eyebrows. _**"And this is not gonna be a conversation because I won't talk; I'm really not interested in talking to you. I'm forcing you to tell me what your problem is."**_

_**"And what makes you think I'm gonna tell you?" **_She asked defiant, raising an eyebrow.

_**"Because I'm the guy who's not gonna comment anything about your problem, who's not gonna tell you nice words of compassion, I'm the guy who's not gonna feel pity for you. And this all only because of the fact I don't have any kind of feeling for you and I'm not interested in having you as a friend or whatever. I really don't care what you're going through; but I demand you to tell me; otherwise I'll think you're a coward for not wanting to admit what your problem is; so people would start saying you're not a bitch and as badass and rude as you seem, they would start saying you're weak and coward." **_I said nastily and very rudely. Maybe this could work because Kelly's face showed concern.

_**"Alright, I'll tell you, Criss. But if you dare to say something nice as showing me you feel pity; I swear I'm gonna punch your face."**_ Kelly said threateningly, pointing me with her forefinger.

_**"I won't say a damn word. My face is way more important than what you have to tell me." **_I said sternly and she looked at me raising her eyebrows and nodding. I considered this as a victory.

_**"Good enough."**_ Kelly said looking away and she stayed silent for a really long time. _**"You know what? I think I won't tell you anything. This is stupid stuff and you don't even know me, so I won't tell you a damn thing. This is stupid."**_ She said frowning and she attempted to stand up, but I grabbed her arm and I forced her to sit again.

_**"Tell me, Kelly."**_ I said firmly and severely. She glanced furtively at me and I could notice a sad expression in her eyes that quickly turned into indifference, obviously a pretended indifference.

_**"Okay, when I was young I grew up in a home where the concept of a family didn't exist."**_ Kelly started saying looking away while I was looking at her very intently, without saying anything at all. _**"My father was an alcoholic; he died when I was fourteen. My mother was addicted to sleeping pills and depression pills because of what was happening to my father; she abandoned me when I turned eighteen, she just disappeared without a trace. And I have a twin brother who is schizophrenic and has problems of psychosis because of all that was happening in our family. The last time I saw my twin brother, **__**Wade**__**, was when I was twelve; he was admitted to a mental hospital."**_ Kelly started explaining very coldly.

But I guessed it was a way to hide the sadness she was feeling for remembering those things; I knew that because I saw her eyes before she could look away to avoid my gaze. I was very astonished for what she was telling; I was looking intensely at her while raising my eyebrows in surprise. Her past seemed to be terrible, but of course I wasn't going to say anything, otherwise she was going to stop telling me that; so I remained silent and she kept talking in a dismal way.

_**"The last thing my brother told me was that I should never believe in love because love didn't exist; he told me that love is a stupid thing human beings invented to destroy people. And he exemplified the situation of my mother and father, who said they were in love but they were destroying each other and not only themselves but also us. He told me that I should never trust anyone and I should never show anybody how I feel, because then people would break me and turn me into a weak person."**_ Kelly explained and I frowned, completely disgruntled with his brother's comment; yet I didn't say anything at all. _**"Of course I didn't listen to Wade. I refused to believe that love didn't exist, even if I didn't have the best example in my home. I knew there was something good in the world outside my home; I knew that not every guy was as my father was and I refused to have the same destiny than my mother. I decided to risk and believe in love, because I wanted my life to be as good as the stupid romantic movies showed."**_ Kelly said letting out a short and bitter laugh and I remained looking at her frowning, a bit confused because before she mentioned she didn't believe in love. _**"And before my prom, there was this guy with whom I had a crush since my Sophomore year. By then, my dad was dead, my brother was hospitalized and my mother gave up on looking after me; but I was fine, not completely, but I was trying my best." **_Kelly said coldly but I noticed her voice cracked, even though she tried to hide it. She was still avoiding my gaze. _**"So, this guy proposed me to be his date. I couldn't believe it, I was really happy and I was feeling that stupid tingly you have when you think you're in love. I remember I thought my brother was completely wrong, because if love didn't exist, then why was I feeling that way? If love was something human beings invented to destroy people, then why all I wanted to do were good things and everything seemed calm and lovely? Wade was wrong, I thought. Being in love and trusting someone was good, I thought."**_ Kelly said with a half-smile, but it was a bitter smile. I didn't understand. _**"I had a pretty good time with this guy; he was nice, he was funny, he seemed to be interested in me, on what I thought, on what I felt, on my troubles; he even was caring and supportive. He told me he loved me and I told him I loved him back. That was real love, I thought."**_ Kelly said gloomy, looking away and absent, as if she was deep in thought. And I was very silent, just listening to her. _**"Then the prom came and I had a really amazing time with this guy. After prom, we went to a hotel room; I was ready to lose my virginity with the guy I loved and loved me back. I was feeling really good, as never before."**_ Kelly said frowning and somehow it made me remind to the night after prom when Freckles and I went to a hotel room. _**"And yes, with him I lost my virginity and I was glad it was with him. But next morning, when I woke up, he wasn't there anymore. He disappeared and I never saw him again. He just used me to have sex; I trusted him and he lied to me only to have sex. What he felt for me wasn't love. Love didn't exist; it was just an excuse to have sex and destroy someone's life. That was the moment when I understood what my brother tried to tell me. It was stupid from me to believe there was something good for me. What was I? A stupid girl with a father who died because he was an addict and didn't care about his daughter, because alcohol was in first place; with a mother who abandoned me because she wanted to live her fucking life alone, making me feel worthless, like a burden, like someone who didn't deserve anything; with a brother who taught me only bad things that were certain but rude. I had no family, I had no friends, I had no one to love and be loved. I was alone and I had to deal with all of that alone. I wasn't good." **_Kelly said with cracked voice, still looking away.

And this time I could see few tears streaming down her face in silence; but obviously she didn't want me to notice that. I was looking at her distressed for all she was saying. It was a really sad thing to hear. But I didn't know what to do; if it was another person, I'd hug that person; but I knew I couldn't do that with Kelly because she was going to think I was feeling pity for her and she wasn't going to like it. Seriously, I'd have never imagined that a person like Kelly could have had such a terrible past; but now that I thought about it, it had sense somehow. It had sense why she was this kind of aggressive and rude person.

_**"So I decided I wasn't going to feel depressed forever. I needed to move on with my life; but this time I wouldn't make the same mistakes. I needed to restore myself and the only way I could do it was if I was strong. I built like this huge wall between me and people, so I wouldn't be hurt again. I came to the conclusion that I needed to be distant, that I shouldn't trust anyone and I shouldn't let anybody know how I was feeling and what I was thinking; only for the purpose of avoiding people hurt me again. I've figured out that I shouldn't be nice to people, because I knew how that was going to end; I needed to show people that I was strong and that I didn't care about them, that I cared only about myself; because at the end, I only had myself. So since then I became this nasty, rude, egocentric, and fickle girl; I became this girl who was never going to let anybody know how she truly is and was never going to have a deep conversation or relationship with anybody; only because I didn't want to be hurt again."**_ Kelly said again with cracked voice, looking down, still absent. I was looking at her really sadly; but I didn't do anything. I've never seen her like this; this was a side I didn't know about her. _**"And I'm not a bitch; I pretend I am because it's the only way people can respect me; because it's the only way I found to forget my past and the way I found to never living that hell again. But truth is I'm not strong, truth is I feel lonely, truth is I have feelings and I'm still hurt. And I don't wanna feel like that, so I pretend all the fucking time. I just don't want to suffer again."**_ Kelly finally said covering her face with her hands, breaking into tears.

I observed her for a while and then I moved closer and I took the risk to wrap my arms around her; to make her feel a bit better, at least. It surprised me when she didn't pull me away; when she, instead, buried her face on my shoulder to cry. I rubbed her back smoothly, without saying anything. I honestly didn't know what to say, I was just shocked for all she admitted. Maybe this was the first time she admitted it in front of someone, judging by the way she was disconsolately crying. Sincerely, I've never seen her crying and I'd have never imagined she could cry in front of someone. This really was categorically different than the other times I saw her; she seemed to be different. But she wasn't different; she just let me see her real personality that was constantly hiding. I just let her cry while rubbing her back to reassure her, in silence.

_**"I shouldn't have told you this. I shouldn't. Now you surely feel pity for me or something, and I don't want that. I hate that."**_ She said still crying.

_**"I'm not feeling pity for you. I understand you, that it's something very different than feeling pity."**_ I answered softly while still rubbing her back.

_**"I hate that! You shouldn't be nice to me, you shouldn't! I know you don't care, I know you'll hurt me eventually! I shouldn't have said anything and you shouldn't be nice."**_ Kelly said still crying.

_**"You see, Kelly, sometimes people are just nice and they don't want to hurt you. You had the bad luck to meet bad people in your life. I've also met bad people and they have also hurt me. But it comes a point in which you realize there are still good people who just care about you without expecting anything in return. They just care; so they're just nice. And that's not bad. You just have to break that wall you've built; I know it ain't easy, but you have to."**_ I said softly, still rubbing her back.

_**"I can't!"**_ She sobbed.

_**"Yes, you can. You just broke the wall a little when you told me all of what happened to you in the past that made you be what you are now. And that's good. I got to see who you really are and I'm sure good things can happen to you; but only if you let yourself be the way you truly are. Life is a fucking bitch that always have bad things for us; but if we learn how to deal with that bitch the way we truly are, then we can realize that actually life can be pretty cool."**_ I said and she wiped her tears away and parted to look at me frowning. _**"And you know? I also thought love didn't exist. I've been there too. Then I realized I was wrong. Love does exist, only that not in the way people or books or movies say love is. It's just a feeling that not always involve a girl or a boy; like... it's a feeling you always have when you do something you really like to do, when you sing or act, or when you read a good book, when you eat your favorite food, when you see a cute pet, when you see a little child playing or when you see an old man who is laughing like their life is gonna end in any moment. Love is always there, implicit, and there are a lot of ways to love and be loved."**_ I said smiling softly and shrugging as Kelly was looking at me frowning, as though she was thoughtful. _**"And you'll never be happy and you'll always suffer if you are constantly pretending to be something you aren't. What if people get to know how you truly are? What if they find out you're not strong, huh? Nobody is strong, we all have moments of weakness, we all cry, we all are still trying to find out what this shit of life is. So don't focus on what people would say, focus on doing what you like and being the way you are. Then, they can wipe your ass if they don't like you; screw them! Life is already too complicated to add another complication that is trying to live it as if it was a play. Think about it, that's exhausting! You always have to think and plan all the script, and damn, sometimes that's a pain in the ass. Wouldn't it be much easier to just live it the way you are and not give a damn shit if the audience likes it or not as long as you're fine with it?"**_ I asked with an amused smile and she let out a giggle and shrugged.

_**"Maybe."**_ She answered.

_**"Screw people! Just be yourself and I promise everything will be fine, because that's the fucking thing you want."**_ I added still smiling and she smiled back.

_**"What if I trust you, I do what you say, and then everything goes wrong?"**_ She asked looking fixedly into my eyes.

_**"Then you'll be allowed to kick my ass for being an asshole who gave you a terrible advice. And saying you'll be able to kick my ass is much to say; so you can picture how sure I am that if you start being yourself everything will be fine."**_ I replied.

_**"It seems fair enough. But you see, I can't change all of a sudden. I can't start being myself all of a sudden. It seems easy, but it's not."**_ Kelly said looking away.

_**"I know. But you can start and that's what matters." **_I replied and she looked at me again.

_**"I guess."**_ She said softly. _**"I hate saying this, but thank you lot. You know, for listening and for giving me an advice." **_

_**"You're welcome." **_I answered smiling softly.

_**"Hey bro, we're ready."**_ Chuck suddenly said appearing in the living room, and then he saw Kelly. _**"Oh, hi." **_He greeted looking fixedly at Kelly.

_**"Hi."**_ She greeted softly.

_**"Umm, Kelly, this is my brother Chuck and Chuck, this is Kelly."**_ I said to introduce them. Chuck walked to where we were and he shook his hand with hers.

_**"Nice to meet you, Kelly." **_Chuck said politely while Kelly was looking at him frowning and suspiciously, maybe because she still wasn't used at people being polite with her.

_**"Nice to meet you."**_ Kelly said looking away, uncomfortable; surely because she felt the pressure of being nice to someone, something she's never done.

_**"Oh damn! It's really late!"**_ Joey exclaimed entering the living room, without noticing Kelly was here. _**"We better go!"**_ He exclaimed and then he finally looked up and saw Kelly. His face turned into a disgruntled face and then he looked at me even more disgruntled and also confused. _**"What are you doing here?" **_Joey asked coldly, looking at Karen.

_**"That's none of your business, Richter." **_Kelly replied rudely, looking fixedly at Joey.

_**"Of course this is something of my business because this is my apartment and you're not welcome here."**_ Joey said coldly again. Yes, it was weird that Joey didn't like someone, but he was never going to stand Kelly.

_**"I don't care what you want or what you think. I didn't come here for you, so make me a favor and spare me your stupid argument. I came here for Darren and he let me in, so stay out." **_Kelly said severely and I just looked down while Chuck was looking at Kelly and Joey bewildered. Yes, definitely it was going to be hard for her to change and start being nice as she was when she was herself.

_**"Excuse me? You don't live here, so you don't have any kind of right to say what I should or should not do. At least have the decency to respect all the owners of this apartment. And as an owner of this apartment, I invite you to get out of here."**_ Joey said irked. Geez, I almost never saw him irked; but when he was upset, he was really upset.

_**"What makes you think I'll do what you say, Richter?"**_ Kelly asked aggressively.

_**"Joey, can we talk?"**_ I asked, standing up, when I noticed the situation was going to get worse.

He didn't answer, he remained looking fixedly at Kelly until I started walking to my bedroom, and he followed me. Once we were inside, I closed the door so Chuck and Kelly weren't going to hear us.

_**"What the hell is she doing here, Darren? I thought she didn't know where we lived." **_Joey said really moody.

_**"And I thought the same. I still don't know how she found out where we lived. She only came here to apologize and talk to me. Just that."**_ I explained quietly.

_**"She's a fucking stalker!"**_ Joey exclaimed irritated.

_**"Yes, maybe she is."**_ I replied still quietly and Joey looked at me frowning. _**"But she only talked to me and apologized. And she explained me why she acts like a bitch; she told me about her past and I understand her." **_

_**"Are you insane? Did you really believe her?"**_ Joey asked in disbelief. _**"Dammit, Darren; I never thought you could be so stupid, man." **_

_**"Maybe I'm stupid, but I believed her because I saw her when she was telling me it all. She really had a crappy childhood and adolescence; and now that she opened up to me, I can really understand why she acts the way she does. I'm not saying I agree with the way she acts, because I still think it's really rude; but at least now I understand and now I know she'll try to change for better."**_ I said still quiet, looking at Joey as he was looking at me as if I were crazy.

_**"And is this the way she changed for better? Because she didn't say anything at least a little nice." **_Joey pointed annoyed.

_**"It's hard, Joey. You cannot change in a matter of minutes. It's a process and we both know that."**_ I said sighing.

_**"She could have tried."**_ Joey said still annoyed.

_**"Hey, I know she'll try; I know it and I chose to believe her because everybody deserves second chances. She really, but really had a terrible past and this is hard for her. I'd like if you can be nice to her; so maybe you both would stop insulting each other and you'd help her to be herself. Trust me, very deep in her heart, she's a nice person."**_ I said almost in a supplicant way.

_**"I don't believe that, Darren. I just can't be nice to her and less if she keeps talking like a bitch."**_ Joey said determined.

_**"Don't do the same than her. If she's rude, act politely anyway; because you're not a nasty person like she seems to be. So, do not act any differently than you are; not even with her."**_ I said again in a supplicant way.

_**"Alright, I'll try."**_ Joey agreed, looking away and serious.

_**"Thanks, dude."**_ I said while nodding.

_**"Whatever, just let's go to the Beezy's Cafe. Or are you gonna change the plans because of Kelly?"**_ Joey asked moody and I frowned.

_**"No, of course I won't change plans. You know I won't miss a day which I could spend with Freckles."**_ I answered firmly.

_**"Oh, about that..."**_ Joey said and I started looking at him suspiciously. _**"What do you want from Freckles?"**_

_**"Nothing, absolutely nothing."**_ I answered looking away, a bit discontented with his question.

_**"Nothing? Seriously, buddy? Cause the way you've been acting around her lately doesn't seem nothing."**_ Joey insisted and I huffed in annoyance.

_**"Well, it's nothing. I'm just trying to get along with her and I enjoy being with her. But nothing more than that. And I'd appreciate if you stop talking about that and asking me questions."**_ I said very roundly.

_**"Cool it, buddy."**_ Joey exclaimed while raising his eyebrows.

_**"Whatever, just lets go."**_ I said walking to the door.

When Joey and I walked to the living room, Chuck was sitting on the couch talking to Kelly. Kelly seemed to be acting in a moderately nice way with Chuck and she even laughed at his jokes; even though I could notice she was still uncomfortable because this was something new for her. I looked at Joey who was looking at them astonished; and when Joey looked at me, I looked at him in a 'Ha! I told you!' way. He quickly looked away, huffing. Well, now it was time to tell Kelly that we needed to go, so she needed to leave.

_**"Okay... Umm, Kelly, we have to go right now because we have plans for today. But it was cool to talk to you."**_ I said looking at her, smiling faintly.

_**"Oh, Darren!"**_ Chuck exclaimed so then my gaze drifted to him. _**"I invited Kelly to come with us today."**_ He said and I looked at him perplexed.

_**"You did what?"**_ Joey exclaimed in disbelief, alarmed. Of course Joey didn't like anything about this.

_**"Yeah, I invited her. She told me she had no plans so I just invited her, the more the merrier everybody says. Besides, it's cool to get to know the people with who my little bro is surrounded."**_ Chuck said jovially and I looked at him serious and a bit suspicious.

I knew why he was doing this, I knew exactly why and I didn't like it at all. He was doing this because he wanted me to be with any other girl but Freckles. So he surely thought that Kelly was a good option, because after all she was a pretty girl. But he did not know Kelly; and he didn't have the rights to force me to be with somebody else. Damn, I was just tired of him trying to control everything. And why would he still think I wanted to be with Freckles after the conversation we had? However, after a while and after Joey complained, we all accepted the fact that Kelly was coming with us. So now we were at Beezy's Cafe waiting for Freckles and Brian to arrive. Hopefully this wasn't going to be uncomfortable. Freckles still didn't know about Kelly and I honestly didn't know how Kelly was going to act around me. Shit.

* * *

_**"Come on, Brian! We're late!"**_ You hurried once you got off the bus, walking to the Beezy's Cafe.

_**"It's not my fault that you decided to change your clothes like five times. I told you that you looked good the first time, but you wouldn't stop saying you weren't sure." **_Brian replied frowning.

_**"What do you expect? I'm a girl."**_ You answered while chuckling.

_**"Really? I swear I wouldn't have noticed if you hadn't told me." **_Brian said mockingly and you nudged him. _**"So, are you telling me your plans or are you still gonna be reluctant to tell me?"**_

_**"What do you think, Brian? That I'm gonna change my mind in one second?"**_ You asked looking at him amused.

_**"Uh, yeah... You said you were a girl."**_ He mocked and you laughed.

_**"I'm firm about this, so I ain't telling you anything."**_ You said with a mischievously smile.

You kept walking until you arrived at Beezy's Cafe. When you entered you felt very cozy in between the warm place and the smell of coffee. You looked round, the place was crowded, but you found Darren with Joey, Chuck and... Who was that girl? You've never seen her before. Maybe she was another of the many Darren's friends, or maybe she was Joey's friend or friend of both of them. Well, you didn't mind they brought a stranger, you liked meeting new people and all of Darren's friends were amazing. Besides, it was really cool the fact you weren't going to be the only girl. You looked at Brian, he also found them and he was also looking at that girl he didn't know.

_**"Who's that girl?"**_ Brian asked curiously.

_**"I have no idea. Maybe she's another friend of Darren. Look at her hair! She's ginger! Isn't it amazing?"**_ You exclaimed joyfully. You always liked ginger people; you always wished to be ginger since little. _**"And she's very pretty."**_ You exclaimed looking at Brian and winking at him.

Brian just looked at you frowning and a bit displeased by your comment. You couldn't understand why he kept rejecting every girl with who you could pair him off; maybe you should stop doing that for a while; after all, Brian was supposedly in love with someone.

_**"Don't look at me that way, Brian Thomas. I was just commenting she's pretty, just that."**_ You said trying to make him feel less displeased or pressured.

_**"Okay, just let's go there."**_ Brian said softly.

You were the first to start walking, they still didn't notice you were there because they were entertained talking. Joey was the first who saw you because he was the only one who wasn't talking. He stood up and when you were close enough he hugged you and you giggled. This was when the rest noticed you've already arrived. He whispered something in your ear that made you frown a bit confused.

_**"Thanks god you arrived! I couldn't stand any other second."**_ Joey whispered and then he looked right where Darren, Chuck and the ginger girl were.

_**"Why?"**_ You whispered intrigued.

_**"Long story."**_ Joey grumbled. He seemed to be upset or moody and this was really weird because he was always happy, always joking and laughing.

_**"Freckles!"**_ Darren exclaimed joyfully and he stood up as Joey greeted Brian.

_**"Darren!"**_ You exclaimed just as joyfully, walking towards him.

You hugged him and he hugged you back, tightly. You noticed how the ginger girl looked abruptly at you both, in a very piercing way and serious. That made you feel a bit uncomfortable. Why would she be looking at you that way? It was intimidating. Then this girl stood up and took Darren's arm, as though she was pulling him to stay away from you; so Darren and you broke the hug to look at her. She was looking at you fixedly into your eyes and she seemed to be upset or something. What the hell? Why was that girl looking at you that way? Then she linked her arm with Darren's. You couldn't help looking how they linked their arms and then you realized something... What if this girl wasn't just a friend of Darren? Judging by the way she tried to interrupt your hug and by the way she was looking at you as if she was irritated; she could be someone more than a friend of Darren. But then, why would Darren frown? Anyway, you were working on not overthinking things, so that was what you were trying to do; but you couldn't help feeling weird. This was weird, seeing Darren with another girl was weird, even if you and Darren were nothing but friends. So you tried to act nice to her as you were with everybody.

_**"Hi!"**_ You greeted happily and you walked towards her to hug her quickly as you were used to greet people.

When you did this, the girl pushed you away; not in a rude way, but she pushed you. She looked at you even more irked and you looked at her perplexed. This was the first time that someone rejected a hug from you and it felt rough because you were only trying to be nice. Darren played fool and looked down, biting his lips.

_**"What are you doing?"**_ The girl asked harshly. You were kinda speechless because of the surprise by the way she treated you.

_**"I was just about to greet you; this is my way to greet people. Sorry, I didn't know it could bother you."**_ You apologized softly.

_**"Well yes, it bothers me; so don't dare to do it again."**_ She answered rudely and you raised your eyebrows while Darren was still looking down.

_**"Fine, sorry."**_ You apologized again, this time not so softly. Then you looked behind this girl and you saw Chuck. _**"Hi, Chuck."**_ You greeted with a polite smile, not feeling as good as you were when you just arrived to this place.

_**"Hi, Freckles."**_ He greeted also smiling. Well, at least he was nice to you.

Then you noticed Brian stood next to you and he shook hands with Darren and Chuck and then he looked at the ginger girl. He greeted with a shy 'hi' that didn't sound so cheery, surely because he saw the way the girl acted with you.

_**"Hi." **_The girl greeted Brian and she remained looking at him.

She kinda raped Brian with her look; she looked him from head to toe; and this made you feel a bit annoyed. You didn't like the way she was looking at Brian, not in front of you, not in front of Darren. What was up to this girl? She was linking her arm with Darren's as if they had something but she was raping Brian with her gaze. You didn't like this at all. Brian looked away and he stepped closer to you, he was obviously feeling uncomfortable.

_**"Umm, well..."**_ Darren finally spoke and you and Brian looked at him, but the girl remained looking at Brian. _**"Guys, this is Kelly... And Kelly, they're Brian and Freckles." **_

_**"Hi again, Brian."**_ The girl greeted Brian smiling... seductively? Ah! You didn't like this; you didn't know why, but you didn't like that. Then she looked at you and stopped smiling. _**"And Freckles... Freckles? Really? Who has that stupid nickname?"**_ Kelly asked rudely and you looked at her astonished raising your eyebrows. You didn't like this girl so much. Why would she be so rude?

_**"I have that stupid nickname and I love it."**_ You answered firmly, completely serious. Yes, you wouldn't let that girl treat you like shit without doing anything about; you were not like in high school. _**"I have other nicknames, such as Sunny..." **_You started saying a bit coldly until Kelly laughed in a derisive way. _**"May I know why you're laughing? As far as I know I didn't say anything funny. Would you let me know what the joke is? Because I wanna laugh too."**_ You said coldly and everybody looked at you puzzled; everybody except Kelly who looked at you as if she was upset.

_**"Just that having a nickname is completely stupid; and yours are completely ridiculous and silly."**_ Kelly replied in a very unkind way.

You noticed how Darren looked away uncomfortable, Chuck also looked away biting his lips, Joey looked at her disgusted and Brian looked at her frowning, apparently disgruntled. You remained looking at her fixedly; no way that you were going to stop looking at her that way, no matter what others would think. However, you were going to try to keep your temper, because you came here to have fun with your friends, so you wouldn't let anybody ruin it. Besides, you had no idea who this girl was and why she was acting that way. Screw her! You wouldn't let a stranger ruin your mood. But why would Darren bring that girl?

_**"I'm so sorry that people never gave you a nickname, considering that nicknames are a way to demonstrate affection. I love mine because they have a significance; whatever you opine about it, I don't care."**_ You said controlling your temper; trying not to sound rude but trying to let her know she wouldn't mess with you and the moment. _**"So, guys!"**_ You exclaimed before Kelly could answer something. _**"I'm dying for a coffee and you?"**_ You asked with a bright smile, trying to change the topic of conversation.

_**"Oh yeah, I am too."**_ Chuck said quickly, sitting again.

_**"Sure, bring me the coffee already!"**_ Joey exclaimed loudly and he tried to giggle before he sat on the table again in front of Chuck.

_**"Yeah, it's gonna be nice to have a hot coffee."**_ Darren said smiling faintly and awkwardly.

Darren let out his arm and sat on the table, next to Chuck. Kelly remained there, though, still looking fixedly at you while you were also looking at her very fixedly. Brian, next to you, placed a hand on your shoulder and squeezed it softly, as trying to tell you to let it go because it wasn't worth it; yet, you didn't look at him and you remained looking at Kelly.

_**"Come on, Sunny."**_ Brian whispered before he sat.

You glanced at Kelly one more time and then you looked away and walked to the table to sit in between Brian and Joey, right in front of Darren. After a while, Kelly sat in front of Brian and right next to Darren. You noticed how she placed a hand on Darren's thigh and you grabbed the menu to get distracted with something. You were really going to try to have a fantastic day as you've planned and no one was going to screw it. The waitress came and asked for our orders.

_**"I think I'll go with a Caffè Marocchino."**_ Joey said, reading the menu.

_**"Oh look! They have Irish Coffee. Of course I'll order it."**_ Chuck said.

_**"I'll go with an Irish Coffee as well, just to honor our dad."**_ Darren said chuckling softly.

_**"Ugh... This is the worst menu ever."**_ Kelly said while reading the menu and you looked at her raising an eyebrow, but ignored her. _**"A Skinny Latte for me. You better bring me a good one."**_ Kelly said unkind, looking at the waitress.

_**"Let me guess..."**_ Brian said looking at you amused and you smiled at him. _**"You want Cafe mocha."**_

_**"That's exactly what I was going to order." **_You replied looking at him with a bright smile. You noticed how Darren glanced furtively at you and Brian and frowned, but he quickly looked down at the menu again. _**"What about you?"**_ You asked amused even though you knew his answer.

_**"Umm... I think..."**_ Brian said reading the menu and frowning. _**"I'll just go with a Caffè latte..."**_ He said and you looked at him frowning.

_**"You gotta be kidding me."**_ You said still frowning. _**"I thought your favorite coffee was Cappuccino."**_

_**"It is."**_ Brian replied. _**"But I just want... the Caffè latte."**_ He said uncomfortable.

_**"You don't even like the Caffè latte."**_ You said still frowning, a bit confused.

_**"Well, but I just want that coffee."**_ Brian said looking at you fixedly as letting you know he was uncomfortable.

You frowned again and you read the menu and found out why Brian was ordering that coffee he didn't like. It was only because the Caffè latte was the cheapest in the menu. You shook your head and looked at the waitress.

_**"Just forget what he ordered. I want a Cafe mocha and he's gonna take a Cappuccino."**_ You said firmly and Brian looked at you abruptly.

_**"No, I don't..."**_ Brian started saying but you interrupted him.

_**"Stop, Brian. I already ordered."**_ You said determined and Brian frowned and looked down, apparently disgruntled.

But you didn't care, you knew that Cappuccino was his favorite coffee, so he was just going to enjoy that coffee and of course you were going to pay for it. Even before coming here you were decided to pay everything for him because, after all, you were the one who spent hours trying to convince him to hang out with you today and he didn't want because he had to study, more than he already was doing, and he didn't have the money. And you really didn't care to pay for him, you wanted to do it; it was the less you could do for him. The waitress took down the orders, smiled and said she was going to come soon with the orders.

_**"You shouldn't have ordered a Cappuccino for me."**_ Brian whispered a bit upset. _**"You perfectly know I cannot buy..." **_

_**"Do you think I'll let you pay? I was the one who invited you to hang out, so this is my invitation, so I pay. End of this argument."**_ You interrupted him in a whisper.

_**"I hate when you do that. I don't like when you pay, I could totally have paid your order and mine if you wouldn't have ordered the Cappuccino."**_ Brian whispered still upset and you looked at him in silence for a while. What Brian said made you feel thrilled, this was sweet from him.

_**"You don't like when I pay for you and I don't like when you pay for me. I guess we're even. What are the chances that both of us are too stubborn to listen to each other? It's as if some external force has reunited us for sharing the same characteristics."**_ You whispered with an amused smile and you made Brian chuckle softly.

_**"What are you whispering, guys?"**_ Joey suddenly whispered looking at you and Brian and you and he couldn't help laughing loudly.

_**"Only that you look fantabulostic today."**_ You whispered jokingly.

_**"Yeah, I know. It must be because of my totally awesome beanie."**_ Joey whispered with an amused and proud grin, as Brian and you laughed again.

_**"This is a really undistinguished and tin-pot place. Of all the amazing bars in Ann Arbor, you've chosen one of the worst places."**_ Kelly suddenly commented in a nastily way.

You looked at her serious and disgruntled, yet you didn't say anything, you didn't care about her unconstructive opinions. You also noticed that Joey looked at her the same way; maybe he also didn't like her. Darren and Chuck just played fool and for some weird reason Darren glanced at his brother, apparently uncomfortable or annoyed.

_**"As I see it, this place is really cool. Not too humdrum, not too fancy. It's colorful and lively; ideal for a hot coffee on a cold Sunday afternoon for people who came here only for the purpose of having a good time instead of flaunting purchasing power."**_ Brian suddenly commented looking fixedly at Kelly.

He made clear he didn't like her comment but he did it controlling his temper and retaining his politeness. You looked at him surprised because he was facing a stranger only because of the fact he knew Kelly was getting on your nerve; you were really thankful for that, so you smiled kindly at him. Of course Kelly didn't say anything, because for some reason that girl only seemed to have a problem with you and besides because she wouldn't contradict a guy like Brian; an intimidating and handsome guy, a guy she couldn't stop raping with her gaze. Ugh, that was irritating.

_**"I completely agree with Brian."**_ Joey commented and you looked at him and smiled at him.

_**"No one asked your opinion, Richter."**_ Kelly said harshly.

_**"No one asked yours and no one wanted you here."**_ Joey replied raising an eyebrow and you looked at him frowning slightly. Well, you've never seen Joey being unkind with someone; he was always funny and nice.

_**"Do I have to remind you the Criss brothers are the ones who invited me here?"**_ Kelly said with a wicked smile. You glanced furtively at Darren who was looking down; he was really silent and uncomfortable. _**"Right, Darren?"**_ Kelly said now with sweet voice and she started caressing Darren's curls.

When you saw this your smile vanished and you looked at them frowning and feeling really annoyed but also confused. Who was this girl? Why was she looking at Darren that way and why was she caressing his curls? Was she maybe Darren's girlfriend or something? Again, you still didn't know if Darren was in a relationship or not. But if he was and Kelly was his girlfriend, lover or whatever she was, it was a bit inappropriate from Darren to have brought her here and act like this in front of you. Not that he owed you an explanation and not that he couldn't date anyone because Darren and you were just friends; but at least out of respect. It wasn't long since you met again and you talked about what happened in the past; and this thing of being friends with him was a completely new thing for you; and you and Darren were something in the past, so it was awkward to see him with a girl in front of you so soon. You thought you could bear listening to Darren telling you he was interested in a girl or even showing you a picture of the girl or something; but bringing the girl to the same place you were... you just weren't ready for this yet. Darren moved his face away and looked at Kelly frowning, surely because he noticed how uncomfortable you were.

_**"Right."**_ Darren answered almost in a whisper.

Kelly smiled victoriously as you remained looking down, trying to smile because you still wanted to keep in mind that you came here to have fun and that girl wasn't going to blow it. Now there was an uncomfortable silence and the waitress, thankfully, appeared to break it, giving you the order. Everybody, in silence, started drinking your respective coffees.

_**"Ugh! What is this? This is the worst coffee I've ever had!" **_Kelly exclaimed once she took a sip of her coffee.

_**"Weird..."**_ Brian said also after taking a sip of his coffee. _**"Mine is delicious!"**_ He said smiling joyfully and you looked at him and smiled.

_**"Mine too!"**_ Joey exclaimed. _**"I guess good people get the good coffee." **_He said chuckling and shrugging.

_**"So..."**_ Chuck exclaimed loudly and he looked at Kelly. _**"Kelly, tell us how you met Darren."**_ Chuck asked smiling.

You looked abruptly at Chuck. Why would he ask something like that in front of you? Why? He probably knew you were uncomfortable because of this situation, because of the way Kelly was acting with Darren and because Darren was very silent. Then, probably Chuck asked that on purpose, but why? Then you looked at Kelly, she was smiling brightly. You were intrigued to hear the answer, but you weren't sure if you could take it. Why was this happening? You didn't plan this.

_**"Well, last year I saw Darren in one of my courses and it's incredible how good we started to get along. Of course it wasn't long till he and I started..."**_ Kelly started answering and you were listening to her very intently, looking at her fixedly.

_**"Do you know what would be cool? A chocolate to accompany this coffee."**_ Darren exclaimed ridiculously loudly; evidently to interrupt Kelly.

He was very uncomfortable, so this only made you sense that he and Kelly definitely had something; and apparently they had something since last year. Since last year? Then what was that entire thing he said he was still in love with you? Then why has he kissed you in Munising? Then why has he thrown a tantrum of jealousy when you were at the Blind Pig and he thought Noah was your boyfriend? Then why would he have done all he has done? You couldn't understand.

_**"I could buy you some chocolates."**_ Kelly said with sweet voice, looking at Darren and caressing his cheek.

Darren, over again, moved his face away and frowned. You looked at them and you felt really bad; this wasn't at all what you've planned. This wasn't fun; this was uncomfortable and fraught. You had to drift your gaze, so you started looking at your coffee in silence and took a sip of it. You noticed how Brian glanced at you and then he looked away, maybe feeling bad for you or maybe concerned. Darren also glanced at you furtively, but you didn't look at him; you just couldn't. Enough, you were decided to have a good time, with or without Kelly's help.

_**"The best things in life are chocolate." **_You exclaimed joyfully, trying to comment something to end with the tense situation. _**"Like, anything is good and useful if it's made of chocolate."**_ You exclaimed again.

_**"Other things are just food. But chocolate's chocolate."**_ Brian commented also cheerfully when he got what you were trying to do.

_**"What is the meaning of life? All evidence to date suggests it's chocolate."**_ Joey exclaimed as if he was thoughtful and you laughed.

_**"A little too much chocolate is just about right."**_ Chuck also commented.

_**"Exactly! Like, why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous? Obviously because no one wants to quit."**_ Darren commented with a giggle.

_**"And because any sane person loves chocolate."**_ Kelly commented and this time she didn't sound rude, she just sounded nice, the first time in the meeting. And she was smiling. Oh wow.

Fortunately after that comment everything started being nicer and less uncomfortable. Kelly, from time to time, touched Darren's hair or hands; but she didn't say anything rude and she even smiled, laughed and commented funny things. You couldn't stop looking at her furtively; that girl was weird; she could be really rude and she could be nice, you didn't get it. But you focused on having a good time and make your friends feel entertained and amused. After having coffee, everybody was intrigued to know what your next plan was. You didn't say anything at all and you kept the mystery; it was way funnier and more interesting this way.

_**"Come on, Freckles! Cannot you just say where are we going?"**_ Darren asked amused and really intrigued and you smiled mischievously.

_**"Not at all, Criss."**_ You answered mischievously.

_**"Ah! She'll keep the mystery at all costs."**_ Brian exclaimed amused, walking next to you. _**"Why are we even friends with her if she's this cruel with us?"**_ Brian asked jokingly and Darren and Joey laughed.

_**"I second that, bro."**_ Joey commented and you pretended to be offended.

_**"Well, you're the stupid ones who are friends with her; no one is forcing you to be."**_ Kelly suddenly commented and you decided to epically ignore her comment just as Darren did, but Brian didn't.

_**"I was noticeably joking. She's a funny, nice and just an extraordinary person; so it's evident we all want to be friends with her. But you're right about something, no one is forcing us to be her friends; we just are because once you get to know her it's hard to stay away from her."**_ Brian said firmly and you looked deeply at him, smiling kindly. His words were just sweet and it made you feel good. Brian noticed you were smiling at him, so he turned his face and smiled back at you.

_**"Hell yeah! Freckles, don't you ever dare to get rid of us, or we're gonna wrap you in a tortilla and then we'll eat you as a snack for being so cruel!"**_ Joey exclaimed while laughing and you laughed along with him. He also made you feel good. Chuck didn't say anything, he was just focused on the way and he seemed not to be paying attention at your conversation.

_**"Yeah, I agree with them. You should get to know her, Kelly."**_ Darren commented and you just looked at him with a faint smile.

_**"Maybe."**_ Kelly answered looking away, serious and apparently disgruntled.

So you kept walking, ignoring Kelly's comments here and there. You mostly spoke with Brian and Joey who also seemed to be trying to turn this into an entertaining and amusing hang out as you've planned. You only exchanged few words with Darren because he was actually very silent and still uncomfortable because of Kelly's comments; he was surely suspecting it wasn't a good idea to have brought Kelly here. And Chuck simply hasn't even tried to talk to you. You didn't know why, though; if you thought that after your debate everything was fine with him; but apparently you were wrong. Anyway, you finally arrived to the next place of your plan: the Riverside Arts Center Gallery. It was one of your favorite places in Ann Arbor and you wanted to show them this place. Well, everybody seemed to be interested in that, except, of course, Kelly who didn't stop huffing and complaining that this was the most boring way to spend a Sunday. Why wouldn't she just leave? Damn, she was truly getting on your nerve and it was being hard to keep your cool and enjoy the moment. She was literally screwing your plans. Then you saw a painting and you started explaining it to them in a very merrily way because you were excited to explain them what you've learned in college so far.

_**"This is a very interesting painting, for example!"**_ You exclaimed happily. _**"It's called Explanation of Peace. Based on what I know about paintings and their symbolism, I can perfectly say that the symbolism that is used in this work uses some really old icons of the past."**_ You explained them while looking at the painting. Everybody was listening to you very entertained and curious. _**"The mountains in the background have always been used to express an idea of an inner peace. The walls represent the defense people put up around themselves after realizing that they were much different than those around them and felt were often misunderstood. If you look at the walls, there are included clouds within them and on them; they give the harder images a softer feel. The heart beat is the way of adding a human element to the painting, because this is all about a human feeling after all. This is a very metaphorical painting and you have to look at it very intently to discover the entire meaning."**_ You said smiling brightly, stunned because of the amazing painting.

_**"I only see a very bad drawn mountains and walls that have not perspective; I see a senseless painting and I can tell the painter was very bored and decided to say 'hey, I'll play that I am an artist'. So then the painter had good luck and the work was exposed here, in this mediocre gallery. You're only trying to fill up the terrible work with big words with no sense." **_Kelly commented harshly and you looked at her very disgruntled, raising an eyebrow. _**"And it makes me throw up."**_ She said even more rudely.

You were feeling very angry, this time you couldn't stay idly, but Brian placed a hand on your shoulder to prevent you from saying something rude. Joey was also looking at Kelly disgruntled. Chuck was now frowning and looking down and Darren was biting his lips, feeling completely uncomfortable. You couldn't believe that Darren wasn't saying anything at all, he should say something, he knew Kelly was being nasty with no reasons and he knew she was screwing everything; and he should say something because after all he was the one who invited her. But no, he chose to play fool.

_**"Excuse me…"**_ Brian suddenly said looking fixedly at Kelly. You looked at him, very surprised because he was actually facing Kelly when Darren was the only one supposed to do it. _**"Are you studying art or something?"**_ He asked softly.

_**"No, of course not. That's lame; I'm into the drama program."**_ Kelly answered.

_**"Well, then you shouldn't opine so much about this and you shouldn't contradict the expert of this matter, that is Freckles, Sunny or the way you choose to call her. If you contradict her, you'll probably end up losing because you don't have the knowledge and the experience to describe a painting or a drawing because you just don't know anything about it. So you should just shut up and let us enjoy what the expert has to say. Thank you."**_ Brian said very firmly but still in a polite way.

You always admired the way he could point someone that was being rude without being rude himself. Kelly looked at him astonished, raising an eyebrow; but she didn't say anything else, she just huffed in annoyance. Joey grinned amused and apparently very content with what Brian said and the way he made Kelly shut up without sounding harsh like her. Chuck looked at Brian surprised but he nodded and looked at the painting again. Darren just remained silent, looking at Brian with a weird expression, but he smiled very faintly at him as though he was thankful and Brian just nodded. Then Brian looked at you and you smiled sweetly at him, as letting him know you truly appreciated what he was doing for you. Brian smiled back at you and he wrapped an arm around your back, placing his hand on your shoulder.

_**"So... What were you saying about the painting, Sunny? I'm really intrigued to know more about this." **_Brian said friendly.

_**"Oh, yes!"**_ You exclaimed very joyfully.

You continued touring the gallery and you kept explaining the paintings from your point of view; always relating everything to what you've already learned. You loved doing this because art was your passion, besides theatre; so you only wanted to make them feel your passion so then they'd also feel passion for art; you just wanted them to enjoy this the way you did. Fortunately Kelly didn't say anything rude and she remained silent, just listening to you. At first she didn't listen to you at all and she started texting with someone and you didn't care; but then she started listening to you and that felt nice. After the gallery, you brought them to have an ice cream and walk down the downtown; but not in the typical malls and shops but in a street you found a series of interesting and quirky shops that sell a huge variety of products, those things were more like handcrafts and extravagant products. You thought that maybe they were going to like this because Joey and Darren liked quirky things, but you weren't sure about Chuck and Kelly; and Brian just enjoyed whatever you had to show him. Of course, Joey and Darren were like exaggeratedly excited when they saw this place. They started running everywhere like little kids, yelling things when they found something cool for them. Kelly at first didn't like so much this place because it wasn't a common place, but then she started laughing while seeing weird things with Darren and Joey. Brian, Chuck and you were the most tranquil now, just seeing the things but not yelling like Darren and Joey.

_**"Suck my balls! Look at this shit!**_" Darren exclaimed noisily and enthusiastically, grabbing a pair of pink sunnies, trying them on. _**"Look at me! I look like badass with these sunnies!"**_

_**"Pink? Really?"**_ Kelly commented with a giggle when Darren started making silly faces with the pink sunnies.

_**"Oh yeah! Pink totally rocks!"**_ Darren replied making metal horns and sticking out his tongue.

_**"Fuck, dude. I'll take the yellow ones!"**_ Joey exclaimed very excited, grabbing a pair of yellow sunnies and trying them on.

_**"Freckles!"**_ Darren suddenly yelled and you looked at him surprised.

He was being very rowdy and enthusiastic. Darren walked towards you with an absurdly huge and bright smile that you couldn't help smiling back. Darren was finally smiling at you and talking to you as he was used to do when Kelly wasn't around.

_**"You should get this one! Blue is your favorite color, isn't it? These are perfect for you! Come on, try them on!"**_ Darren exclaimed excited, handing you a pair of blue sunglasses.

_**"Oh no, I don't think so."**_ You refused softly, still smiling.

_**"Come on! Just try them on!"**_ Darren insisted energetically. You noticed Kelly was glancing at you surreptitiously.

_**"No..." **_You started saying again, but Darren stepped closer and he put the sunglasses on you. He basically forced you to try them on. _**"Okay, you won... How do I look?"**_ You asked while giggling.

_**"Actually..."**_ Kelly started saying and everybody looked at her abruptly and fixedly. Yes, of course everybody was now expecting something rude. _**"You look good."**_ Kelly said with a faint smile.

You raised your eyebrows in surprise. Was this Kelly saying something nice to you? Wow! What was this? Everybody was just as surprised as you were.

_**"Thank you, Kelly."**_ You said smiling slightly, still amazed by her nice comment. _**"I think the green ones will look amazing on you, it'll contrast with your hair. Why don't you try them on?"**_ You said in a friendly way. Now that she was being nice you wanted to be nice to her, so maybe she'll stay nice for a little more time.

_**"I don't think they'll look well on me."**_ She said looking away.

_**"Come on, Kelly, try them on!"**_ Darren exclaimed and he grabbed the green sunnies and put them on Kelly. She giggled softly and amused, placing her hands on Darren's arms. _**"You look really good!"**_ Darren said smiling brightly and Kelly smiled back as you were just observing that situation. You really needed to look away.

_**"Okay, I strongly think that Brian should take the red sunnies and Chuck the purple ones."**_ Joey said handing them the sunnies.

_**"No, no way I'm wearing one of those."**_ Brian said firmly.

_**"Come on, bro!"**_ Joey exclaimed insistently.

_**"No way."**_ Brian refused strongly.

_**"Come on, Brian. We all will look really cool with these sunnies."**_ You said smiling at him and he looked at you and huffed.

_**"Okay, fine."**_ Brian said and you chuckled. Then you drifted your gaze and saw Darren and Kelly very close to each other, laughing and trying on some scarfs and hats.

_**"Brian, bro! Come over here and take a look of this crap!" **_Joey exclaimed excited looking at a Go Blue themed dangle hat. Of course when Brian saw it he got very excited and walked right to where Joey was. Brian loved football.

_**"Go Blue, hell yeah!"**_ Brian exclaimed joyfully, like fanboying.

You smiled at them but you were really not so interested in hearing them talking about the Michigan Wolverines and football. You knew Brian could spend literally hours talking about football and you were never going to forget the damn day you decided to watch a football game with him because it was like traumatic the way he could be so excited about something. You looked at Darren and Kelly and they were still laughing and trying on some weird clothes, so they were really close to each other. You saw how Kelly started combing Darren's hair with her fingers while Darren was trying on a galley as he was looking at her with a smile. You looked down feeling a bit sad and you had no idea why you were feeling like this, but it was really weird to see Darren with another girl right in front of you. You noticed Chuck walked towards you, so you finally took your eyes off Darren to look down.

_**"You should let Darren go and let him live his life, Freckles."**_ Chuck commented almost in a whisper and you looked at him abruptly, astonished.

_**"Sorry, what?"**_ You asked frowning, just in case you didn't hear well. Chuck sighed and put his hands in the pockets of his jeans and he started looking at Darren and Kelly.

_**"What do you want from my brother?"**_ Chuck asked looking at you fixedly now and you looked at him still frowning.

_**"Umm... Being his friend?" **_You said like a question but because the answer was obvious. You didn't know why he was asking that but you could sense there was something wrong.

_**"You see, Darren and you had your time; now it's time to let him go so he can start his life again."**_ Chuck said and you frowned suspiciously.

_**"I don't know exactly what you're trying to say, Chuck. Why don't you just say it?"**_ You asked gingerly.

_**"Well, what I'm trying to say is that I think you should stay away from my brother. It's nothing personal, it's just that my brother should start living his life again and he cannot do it while you're all the time around him."**_ Chuck started saying and you were just looking at him perplexed, raising eyebrows. You couldn't believe he was saying that. _**"And I don't believe that you only want to be his friend, otherwise you wouldn't have kissed him last Friday night."**_ Chuck pointed and you frowned. How would he know about the awkward kiss? Well, Darren surely told him. You didn't like the way Chuck was talking to you. _**"Darren deserves to be happy with other girl and Kelly is the right person, but he cannot do anything because he's surely afraid he'll hurt you; so it must be really hard for him to start something with someone while you're still around. And this is for the good of both of you, because I think you also surely feel weird if you're with another guy when he's around. You'll never be friends because neither of you can forget what you had in the past; it's impossible. Yes, it'd be cool if you could be friends; but you can't. You had your time, now it's time to let go and go different ways; so the two of you can start again with someone else and fall in love again. If you keep being together, you'll never get that. So I want you to stay away from my brother."**_ Chuck said and you remained looking at him in disbelief, very aghast.

_**"I'm sorry Chuck, but I think what you just said is completely inappropriate. You don't have any kind of right to decide for me or for your brother; we're the ones responsible to make our own decisions. You cannot interfere in this because this is something personal, something only between Darren and me."**_ You started facing Chuck in a very confident way because you were sure of what you were saying, so you wouldn't regret. _**"I don't know exactly what your reasons are to have said that Darren and I cannot be friends, because actually you don't know it; because you weren't here all this time to check that with your own eyes. If Darren and I can or cannot be friends is something only Darren and I have to figure out; no one else can decide that because no one knows how we truly feel. And when I say no one, it's no one; it includes family, friends and fellows. No one." **_You emphasized very clearly, looking fixedly at Chuck, still feeling very self-confident. Chuck was looking at you very serious and apparently disgruntled, but also surprised by the way you were facing him. _**"If Darren wants me to stay away for a certain reason; only if Darren is the one who tells me that; then I'll do it, after having a conversation with him and we both agree. But I won't stay away from someone only because other person tells me to do so. I think we're mature people, Chuck; and I'm pretty sure we both know that obeying what someone, an outsider to the situation, tells us to do; is something completely stupid because we're not unthinking puppets."**_ You said raising an eyebrow with a half-smile.

Someone who didn't know you would have thought you were being haughty; but actually you were standing for what you considered it was right, letting Chuck know that now you weren't that girl who would do what other people say even if you were against it. So yes, Chuck was surprised and he also raised an eyebrow and looked away, but apparently it was because he didn't like the way you were talking. You didn't want to sound harsh and rude, but you wanted to sound firm and determined. So you knew you were saying the right thing, maybe not in the best way, but it was what you thought. And you didn't even know why Chuck was being like this.

_**"So, even if you're doing this because you think it could be something good for us, even if your intentions aren't bad; you cannot interfere in this, Chuck, and you cannot say what I should or should not do. I'm a free person, Darren is a free person; we both are old enough to be aware of the decisions we either make or not, aware we are the only ones who are gonna suffer the consequences of our decisions."**_ You clarified strongly, looking very fixedly into Chuck's eyes while he was looking at you very serious, frowning. He was upset, you knew it; but you weren't going to take your words back because you were resolute about this. _**"I just wanna think that your intentions when you said what you said aren't bad. Whether or not your purposes of this conversation are good, you cannot say what I have to do. You can give me your point of view, you can give me advices, you can help us out, and that's okay; but you cannot force us, under any circumstances, to do something we don't wanna do. Because, Chuck, I really don't wanna be away from Darren. I just wanted to clarify you that."**_ You said determined and very confident. Chuck remained looking at you in silence for a long time, very serious and apparently annoyed and displeased.

_**"It's obvious that Darren will never tell you a damn thing because he's too nice to tell someone that is actually making him feel uncomfortable and doesn't want that person to be around. Haven't you noticed the way Darren has been very silent and uncomfortable now?"**_ Chuck asked looking fixedly at you and squinting and you looked at him frowning, a bit upset. _**"He was fine until we came here. He was fine with Kelly until you and Kelly met. Now he has found another girl and he cannot be with the girl because you're still here. Cannot you see them right now? Look at Kelly and Darren together, laughing and being happy now that you're not near them, now that you aren't looking at them. Haven't you noticed he hasn't laughed when you were around?"**_ Chuck asked kind of harshly and you looked at Darren and Kelly who were indeed laughing very close to each other. Then you looked down and frowned, feeling a bit sad again. _**"You're making my brother feel unhappy, Freckles. So you should just stay away from Darren and Kelly and let them be happy together. I know you want to see Darren happy, so why don't you just go your own way and find another guy? You're very pretty, smart and nice; you can get the guy you want. Why Darren? Leave him in peace! Let him be happy, Freckles!"**_ Chuck exclaimed exasperated and you remained looking down and feeling distressed. Now you were frowning only because you didn't want to cry. What if he was right?

_**"Why are you doing this, Chuck? Why are you trying to make me feel bad?"**_ You asked gloomy, finally looking into Chuck's eyes distressed.

_**"You've hurt my brother, Freckles."**_ Chuck answered firmly and he sounded coldly.

_**"Yes, maybe I have. But he's hurt me too, Chuck."**_ You said looking down again, feeling distressed. _**"Remember why Darren and I fell apart, remember the version I knew before I could talk to Darren again. He left me, Chuck; he left me alone, he dumped me; and Darren meant the world to me, but he left. How was I supposed to act about it? What was I supposed to do in that moment? What would you have done in my place? Try to understand me, try to put yourself in my shoes; try to understand why I parted. What you're doing right now it's not fair."**_ You said loudly with cracked voice, looking at him in the eye again, still feeling distressed.

_**"I try to understand you. I just don't want you to meddle in my brother's relationships with a girl. He deserves to be with another girl and if you're still here, you're not giving him the chance to meet someone else."**_ Chuck said softening his voice when he noticed you were indeed feeling bad; yet he still sounded firm and a bit annoyed.

_**"I'll never meddle in your brother's relationship with another girl. He's single, he's free and he can do whatever he wants and date whoever he wants and I'll never prevent him from that. But I don't have to stop being his friend to let him enjoy being with another girl and to let him fall in love with someone else. If he ever gets that, I'll feel happy for him; because I really want him to be happy."**_ You said in all honesty, feeling anguished and looking at him straight in the eye as he was listening to you intently. _**"I'm just trying to say that what you're doing right now it's not fair. Bringing Kelly for the only purpose of flirting with Darren in front of me it's not right. And this is not because I'm jealous, this is not because I don't want to see Darren with another girl; it's because this is too soon."**_ You said again with cracked voice and you knew you had teary eyes now but you couldn't help it. You were feeling bad. Chuck just looked down, huffed and pursed his lips. _**"Yes, I want to see Darren with a girl who can make him feel happy as he deserves, but right now it's too soon for me to endure. It's not as if what Darren and I had in the past was something inconsequential. Darren was my first real love, Chuck; and I loved him with all my being."**_ You said with choked voice as a tear streamed down your face, but you quickly wiped it away. You gulped and tried to speak clearly again as Chuck was glancing at you surreptitiously; and this time he didn't have an annoyed expression. _**"I'm aware it's different now; but it's weird for me to see him with another girl so soon, I wasn't ready for that and not because I'm still in love with your brother but because everything happened too fast since Darren and I talked about what happened to us. I'm still trying to find out how is this new thing of being friends with your brother; and now this happens and there are too many new things to learn and I'm not ready. It's a huge change."**_ You said with choked voice again, you couldn't help it. Now more tears started to stream down your face; but you turned your face so Chuck wouldn't see you crying. You really made a big effort to stop crying. _**"And I feel bad. I'll never show it to you; and I'll always smile and try to be happy and cheery; but I'm feeling bad inside; and it makes me feel really sad the rude way you act around me because you were always like a part of my family, Chuck. It hurts me, even if I'll always keep the smile on my face, it still hurts. And I'm trying my best but sometimes I break." **_You said now completely weeping.

You had to cover your face this time because it was too obvious that you were crying and you didn't want this. But you were truly feeling bad about everything that was happening. You were a happy person, but right in this moment you weren't feeling good. This day, this complete day, was being really bad and it happened a lot of things that made you break for all that you've been accumulating. Even if you were truly happy and you knew your life was worthwhile and everything was good enough and it was a wonderful life; in this moment, right in this moment, you couldn't see everything so positive because a lot of unexpected things unbalanced you. You tried to wipe your tears away in vain because more tears were streaming down and you couldn't even control it, even if you were trying hard. You felt something you haven't felt in a while: A heartache; as though there was something missing, or as if there was like a hole; it was painful. You knew it was going to stop eventually, but right now you couldn't control it because you were feeling vulnerable. You noticed Chuck stepped closer to you and placed a hand on your shoulder. Yet you kept covering your face with your hands.

_**"I'm so sorry, Freckles. I really am. I don't even like Kelly and I was just worried about my brother and the fact he could end up being hurt again. I just overreacted and said things I didn't mean. I'm sorry, Freckles." **_Chuck said softly while rubbing your back. You sobbed a bit more for a while, until you were able to control your feelings a little, so you'd be able to speak. You looked at Chuck and you saw his regretful eyes.

_**"You don't have to be sorry; I just wanted to let you know how I feel about this. I understand you're doing this only because you're trying to protect your brother and that's totally fine. And after all, for you I'm the girl who fucked up your brother's life."**_ You said looking away and pursing your lips and frowning to try to avoid the ugly crying again. Chuck wrapped an arm around you and he rubbed your shoulder very smoothly; yet you didn't look at him.

_**"You're not that girl. You'll always be the girl who brought happiness to my brother. And yeah, I won't deny that maybe I was doing this because I was angry with you for what happened. But I'll never forget all you've done for my brother in the past; and I'll not forget the time we spend together. You were also like my family, Freckles." **_Chuck said softly and you finally looked at him thrilled with tears in your eyes. He was smiling kindly at you and you smiled back. _**"And now I can really see what kind of person you are and how wrong I was about you all this time you were apart. And I'm sorry for that, Freckles. I hope you can forgive me." **_Chuck said apologetically, feeling regretful.

You didn't answer, you just hugged him and he hugged you back, rubbing your back. If only Chuck and you could have the same relationship you had before Darren and you parted. He was like your brother since you were living in Darren's home. You just couldn't talk because you were feeling thrilled. But you wished you could have showed Chuck that you did forgive him and that you were apologizing to him too for the stubborn way you've talked to him.

_**"Would you give us the chance to start again? This time to do things right and not wrong."**_ Chuck asked amused once you broke the hug. You chuckled softly.

_**"Why would you want that? Everything happens for a reason. It's better if from now on we just start getting along again. Sometimes the wrong choices bring us to the right places. And, after all, I do believe that any concern about what is right and what is wrong shows stagnation in intellectual development. And we don't want that, do we?"**_ You said with a saucy smile and Chuck laughed while shaking his head.

_**"You'll never stop saying philosophical statements about life, will you?"**_ Chuck asked amused, still smiling.

_**"No, I'll never stop doing that. But hey, remember, those aren't statements. They're just my point of view, so whatever I opine about life is not a statement because we all have different experiences and we all conceive life in different ways, which is very interesting. So whatever I say about life is not factual and is always open to debate and to exchanges of opinions. Something I love doing."**_ You replied smiling cheerfully and Chuck chuckled softly.

_**"I like the way you are now, you know? I really do. I know you'll never be a bad influence on my brother; so I'm glad he has you." **_Chuck said softly and he seemed to be completely honest, so you smiled at him sweetly because it was really nice what he said. _**"Talking about all of that, what if now I change your plans and I invite you all to have a few beers?" **_

_**"Oh, sounds interesting. I always love when something good and unpredictable comes to happen when I plan something."**_ You said smiling joyfully.

_**"That's good to know and to keep in mind."**_ Chuck said smiling brightly. _**"So, why don't we tell the guys we must go? I think they all have already seen too much weirdness and awesomeness around." **_

_**"I agree."**_ You smiled brightly.

You first looked for Joey and Brian who were still looking merchandise of the Michigan Wolverines. Of course they were talking about them and how awesome they were. When you and Chuck started telling them about your new unexpected plans, they completely agreed saying it could be cool to go to some bar and chill out with some beers and more considering this night it was going to be the last night Chuck was going to be in Ann Arbor. Then you looked around to find Darren and Kelly but you couldn't find them. Well, they were surely in another part of the shop and they shouldn't be so far. So you all went different ways to find them. You went to a place full of extravagant clothes, hats, scarfs, shoes and bags. It was kind of difficult to walk there because the exhibitors were very close to each other. You got distracted looking at a very nice and weird dress and when you took it, thinking that maybe you could buy it, you saw Darren and Kelly. They couldn't see you because they were behind that exhibitor and you couldn't move from where you were. You were astonished for what you were seeing. You started feeling really bad and everything, suddenly, seemed to be dark and cold; this was a very weird feeling you shouldn't be feeling. You were trembling; you were aghast. And without being able to control it, tears started to stream down your face in silence when you saw Darren and Kelly kissing fiercely. This was what it was like to feel lonely.


	49. In the arms of an angel

A/N: Hello everybody! How are you doing today? I have an important announcement: It's my duty to let you know by this that due to external causes that directly affect my being, from today onwards, I will update every other Saturday. I wish I could continue to update weekly, but unfortunately I can't. I almost have no written chapters left and I don't have so much time to write; so I need to change something to be able to update regularly. So, next Saturday you won't have a new chapter. But hey! In those days you can do something more interesting than reading this silly story! We need to find the positive side, right? Okay, I think that's all I have to say. Now, I'll start replying your reviews!

alicegursk: I did that as a revenge! You were being cruel, so I needed to be cruel, and when I decide to be cruel, I'm really cruel; you surely noticed how cruel I can be and you surely noticed how many times I said cruel and now cruel seems to be a weird word. I can't sleep on the couch, Alice! Remember that you were the one sleeping on the couch? The couch isn't so big for the two of us and we'd have an empty bed and that's such a shame. Yeah, even though Kelly had a bad childhood, she still acts rudely, which is not nice, hence I understand why you don't like her. But give her a chance, poor girl! Do you want me to make it be like she kissed him? Alright, if I do it, as a reward, I want you to tell me what you don't want to tell me! Because if I do it, it's because I'm being nice, and it's only fair if you're also nice to me. So... You know. Anyway, my mind is so crazy that I don't know if I'm gonna do it or not; you should read and find it out. Alicino! Why Alicino? I think I'm gonna create Alicino and is gonna be something similar to Aladdin, just because the names are similar. Now I need to plan how Alicino is gonna take action and make them kiss! Yes, till February, fuck everything! It's because in this country, in this career in particular, when you're in your final thesis, you don't have time limits, you just graduate when you finish your final thesis. And just because I'm kind of a nerd and I want to get the highest score in my final thesis, so that I can get my degree with the best result, I'm taking a year and a half to make it great, and also because my thesis is very complicated and complex so it requires a lot of time. Hopefully, everything will work out.

Vcriss: She was cruel, wasn't she? Yes, I think that if I were Freckles I'd kill her as well; it was unnecessary all that Kelly has done to Freckles. And yeah, she doesn't love Darren, or does she? The question is... Why were Kelly and Darren kissing? Why Darren, after all that happened, was kissing Kelly? It seems it makes no sense, but maybe it does make sense. It was very selfish of Channing not to have waited for you. But, just because he has a baby doesn't mean that you shouldn't have hopes. A baby is very important, but the baby doesn't tie anyone to keep being with their couple. So, don't give up hope! Yes, maybe to clone someone would cost a lot, but we can try to be friends with the scientists and beg them to do that for us! Do you really think Americans are stupid? I never thought so. Maybe they're not experts in science, the experts in science I think are the Japanese, but I'm not sure. Anyway, I think intelligence has nothing to do with where they come from; it comes within every person as individual. And hey, Steve Jobs was American and he did create Apple! I think that's a big deal, isn't it?

MeMi83: It was risky from Freckles to have decided to go run alone considering how tough things are with this thing of W! And Noah, Noah is a weird and mysterious guy; with time you'll find out what type of guy he is; maybe he's not so nice, and maybe he's not a jerk... Some people are weird and hard to characterize, Noah is one of them. Yes, poor Freckles. Not only Kelly was being super cruel with her, but Chuck was also a bit rude and then she had to stand seeing Darren and Kelly kissing. That's what I call a bad day. If I were her, probably I'd be crying in a dark corner, alone. Darren didn't forget what Kelly has done, he just understood her and her problems, so he feels kind of pity for her and now he doesn't know how to treat her, unlike before; let's not forget Darren is a nice person. I think now it's time to know why they were kissing! And yes, I also think that Darren and Freckles are better together! They were like perfect for each other; unfortunately things are not as before, but at the end, this could be a positive thing, or maybe not! It's so cool that you love debating with your friends! I think that debates are a good excuse to know more about more things, like they open your mind to things that before you couldn't see, and you learn how to accept the diversity of opinions, which is great. And yes, you're right about the songs. Also they depend on my mood, I didn't think about that, but it's right; sometimes I wanna relax and I use the slower songs; but sometimes I just wanna dance and be crazy and I have to listen to other types of songs. Oh, you can play instruments! I wish I could do that! I always loved piano, but I'm just not good at that stuff, so I just admire my family who can do all of that; they can play tons of instruments, they can sing and they even have a recording studio. And it'd be cool to learn, because wherever you go, is even better if there's a guitar. I love listening to people singing and playing guitar, it brings me peace and joy. And like you, I love music, even if I'm not good at it, I love music and I appreciate it so much; I can't go a day without listening to music and singing, even if I can't sing! haha. And you're so right! At first you love being less busy after you've been super busy; but as days pass by, you just hate the fact of not having anything to do; it's boring. Now, I'm sending warm fuzzies in your direction as well and I hope you find something entertaining to do! You can go for a walk, paint, sing, go to new places, and hang out with friends, read a book... Uf! So many great things! Enjoy your time and make it be totally awesome!

amritsoomal: I'm gonna admit I was super cruel there! The reasons why I did that are unknown. Now, you said that in that way that I'm starting to feel pity for Freckles, that was cruel indeed. But you'll see how things between Darren/Kelly were. Don't steal me my Nutella! No, you can steal everything you want, except my Nutella! Nutella is something like sacred for me. I'm sure you did great on your exam! Really, how was it? Are you free now? If so, let's dance and celebrate! Aww, Chuck needs to go! But he will return, and it'll be with Jen and then everything will be awkward for everyone! For sure you're gonna get Chuck/Jen interaction and it could be interesting. And oh my god! haha! Right after you mentioned that at some part I wrote Karen instead Kelly, I checked the chapter; and you're right! Oh gosh! And you know what's the worst? That I confused their names several times and before posting the chapter I had to correct them. It seems that I forgot to correct one part! Kelly, Karen, they're similar! Damn, if I had chosen a different name, none of this would have happened! Sorry for the confusion and trauma I caused you! It was not my intention! Oh god, haha! And Brian, muahaha! I'm cruel and I won't let him be happy; at least not for now. Nonetheless, it could be interesting if Brian falls for Mandy; and at first I was about to make Brian fall for Meredith, but then I said... Nah! Anyway, maybe Brian won't fall for anyone else, but certain someone is gonna help him to be happy. Now, I dedicate this chapter to you because... You finished your exams! There's nothing better than that! Yay! Now it's time to have a blast!

vicky: I understand you were busy! These are the hardest times, I guess! But you're almost done with school, aren't you? Kelly had a story; she had something behind all the cruelty. She just can't trust people and sometimes that leads to treat rudely other people; and that's something really hard to change. I'm glad you can understand her; I think you're the first one who understood her. And you're right, she tries and that's what matters. Yes, you also noticed that her love story was very similar to Darren and Freckles'! Could it be coincidence? And again, you were the only one who asked about his twin brother and that's great. Yes, she will meet Wade again and he will take an important part in the story. I agree that twins have a special connection than a sister and a brother don't; and sure she misses him, but her brother is someone really complicated and he has done certain things to her that hurt her; that will be explained in other chapters, but that will take a long time! Yes, Chuck had no rights to have done what he has done; but sometimes old brothers are like that, so overprotective with the little brother, even if the little brother is an adult. Oh, it happened to me! But you're right, Chuck didn't know anything about Freckles and it was wrong of him to have judged her. And I needed to make Chuck and Freckles be okay again! I always liked their friendship, even if I didn't write much about it; I think it was cute. About Freckles and Darren... Maybe you'll find it out in this chapter. But I think she's not still in love with him, she's confused because he was her first love, and what a love! It's always super hard to forget your first love; actually, you can never forget it, that's why is complicated and that's why Freckles and Darren have a lot of comings and goings. Well, at least that's what I want to show. Yes, it's too soon! If I were Freckles, my heart would be breaking into thousands pieces! It's horrible to see for the first time your first love kissing another girl. Well, my favorite new Darren's song is Once Upon a Time. I loved that song so very much, maybe because I felt identified somehow; and besides because the melody and composition of the song is wonderful. What's yours? About his tour... Well, I couldn't be aware of everything because I'm busy with other stuff; but if there's something I consider as really cool is his idea of the picture perfect girl; it's a great idea and not many artists do something like that; it's a good way to show his fans that he appreciates their support. I think he's doing a great job, all the fans who got the chance to go loved it; and I think he deserves this all.

Emma: Yes, I can imagine how stressed your mom must be! It's always hard for a parent to let go their children! Surely she still thinks you're her little girl who never grew up; well, at least that way my mom acted with me. And imagine, she has to let go the two of her kids; not one, two! Is your brother going to NY too? Yes, I can understand you! It must feel super weird that you were one of them! I mean, you should feel proud of yourself because it's something really good. You, out of thousands people, were selected by them! I listened to the song you told me! I haven't heard it before! It's such a great song to make a choreography out of it! The rhythm is very catchy, I'm sure you'll keep them entertained with that! Uh, Elton John! I like Elton John and he has a lot of great songs, but he's a classic and it's always hard when you sing someone as representative as Elton is! Now, I can't really suggest you anything, because I don't know what kind of songs and singers Julliard prefers. But I think you should sing something that represents you, a song with which you feel identified; you know, one of those songs you sing with all your being and soul; all of us have one. Even if it's a hard song to sing, if you feel like 'in touch' with the song, you'll sing it passionately and you're gonna show yourself in the audition; so I guess that's what it really matters, to show your passion and your personification of the song. For example, making your own version of the song and making some arrangements (is this the right term?); it can be super risky, but if you get it, you could leave them speechless. Now, you surely noticed I'm a zero when it comes to music! haha, but I hope you could understand what I'm trying to say. Oh, I wish I had a mom who was good at making clothes! I'd have my very own clothes; I have a quirky way to dress up (I like weird things, haha) and I don't find clothes I like so easily and that's kind of frustrating! Oh, I'm not so good at being a girlfriend! Maybe I'm good at being a friend and at making a lot of friends; but my boyfriend always complains about me, because I'm not so affectionate; actually I am, but for some reason I can't show that in the usual ways; like, I'm not one of those girls who kiss or hug their boyfriends all the time; and I'm actually a very reserved person, so I don't say 'I love you' all the time, as my boyfriend would want. So, that's complicated. I'm only good at designing and in creativity, but in specific areas; also in history, I love history (weird too much?). Is Kelly Darren's new love? Oh, I don't know! You'll find it out in this chapter. Please, don't be mad at me! Maybe Kelly is not so bitch! But Darren does get a new love, remember? Okay, I wish you can enjoy this new chapter! Love and warms fuzzies!

Adorkable Sherlock: I was surprised that you didn't comment on Monday! I thought that an alien kidnapped you! You scared me, Sherlock. Now I know that no alien kidnapped you, it was school, that biatch! So, the only exam left you have is literature and judging by what you said, you're gonna rock that exam and then... Vacations! Hell yeah! Now, I bet your classmates hate you when you beg the teacher to make you read another book; that was always a problem in my school; for some reason, people nowadays don't like reading, which is such a shame because reading is one of the best things in world, like, for some hours it's just you and that imaginary word that a book offers us. People should appreciate it more. And you passed physics, one of the worst subjects in the entire universe! Geez, physics totally suck; fortunately I didn't have much of it in college. Oh my god, you're dancing like Chandler! That's so sexy, shake it Chandler! Oh, so many memories! Sorry, but no one can make a better dancing than Chandler! hahaha. I can totally picture you yelling that through all your school and I don't know why I'm picturing you like a cartoon, raising and waving your arms; and I have no idea why that cartoon looks like a bunny, maybe you were a bunny in your other life, who knows? Think about this: Only one more year of school and then that shit is done and you'll start college! Like, yay, huzzah for college! Trust me, if you hate school (as I did), college is the best thing that can happen to you! Yet, one random day you'll surely feel scared to finish school, like you'll feel nostalgic. I hated school but I couldn't avoid feeling nostalgic the last day of school because I spent 12 years of my life in that place. Jeez, Sherlock! You're traumatizing me! It's disturbing to see myself as a fetus! Like, no! Gosh, I prefer to be all old, with a lot of wrinkles, and all that an old person has than to be a fetus! You're like Joseph Gordon Levitt with long or short hair? I always suspected that you were an alien, Tommy, I mean Sherlock, I mean Gab, GAB! Well, it's not like it's a deliberate attempt on your part to seem average, see what I did there? And I agree with you and with Carson. Nowadays everything is sex, sex, wars, guns, sex, sex, exaggerated love, false pregnancies to keep the charming guy, sex, sex, indestructible badass guys, sex, sex, and more sex. Like, what happened to the old and innocent and not for that less interesting shows or movies? We all are fucked up, because it seems it's getting worse and worse; like, if there's no wild sex, no one is interested on watching the movie, which is stupid. And you're very welcome my dear Sherlock! Just kick that asshole's ass! Don't sing depressing songs! Please, don't! Like, if you sing me Taylor Swift's songs, imma die! (I don't like Taylor's songs, by the way; but it seems everybody likes her songs; I just like more classic songs). Alright, let's not sing 'Not the boy next door' or Chris will appear to kill us because we're screwing the song because, obviously, no one can sing that song as Chris does. Chris' voice is angelical! And now, I'm picturing you reading the notes with glasses on, the kind of nerdy glasses (which I love!) as though you were some kind of psychologist. Alright, psychologist, let's not talk about Darren and Mia, I won't argue! Lyla! Yes, oh gosh, I was so cruel in that moment, I can't believe I killed Sami's mom! Shit, I was such a bitch! But... It's life! And in life, sometimes beloved people die... So... Well, maybe I'll do it, or maybe not. You were a good Sherlock there! Lost was my favorite show ever! Like, I was obsessed and I made people be obsessed with it too, so we could share an obsession. I haven't watched Once upon a time, but for what you told me... I need to watch it! Jeez! You had me with all of those stories f my childhood! And it has mystery and the stories mix up! Okay, I think I'll watch it as soon as I finish this term of college! Now I'm excited because I really wanted to find a good show to watch! Like, the last I saw was The Vampire Diaries and Game of Thrones and the seasons finished, so, I'm like... What can I watch? And I won't argue with you because you're gonna send me Hagrid, and I really don't want Hagrid to force me to sit on his lap to start bouncing me... Yet, I could accept it if the Hagrid is Brian Holden with that fake (and apparently uncomfortable) beard. The news is gonna be entitled: Mr. Fluffy, the damned teddy bear, kills all the humanity. Wait... Who would write the news and who would read it if Mr. Fluffy kills all the humanity! Maybe Mr. Fluffy is part of the Damned Fluffy Teddy Bears clan who are planning to take over the Earth! Let's not be gringas, let's be British and let's scream 'We're bloody ace!". Now, Sherlock, Best of British (good luck!). Cheerio (bye!). Lots of candies and love, your Moriarty!

Alright, that was all for today, guys! Thank you very much for the reviews! Now, remember, there's not gonna be a new chapter next Saturday, please don't be mad! I hope you can enjoy this chapter, even if I'm not sure if you're gonna like it! Now, I wish you a totally awesome week full of rainbows and happiness! Warm fuzzies and see you in two Saturdays!

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**Teenage Dream – Chapter 49 – In the arms of an angel.**

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Darren and Kelly didn't notice you were still there and you were way too perplexed to do something. You needed to get away from there because this was hurting you. Yes, you weren't in love with Darren, but seeing him kissing another girl that way was something odd and sad to see. That. You were feeling sad for some reason. Maybe Chuck was right; maybe you were bothering Darren and maybe you didn't want him to be with another girl; not because you were selfish but because this was still weird for you. Maybe you were just that: a bother for Darren. Yes, you knew he liked you and he was good when you were together just bullshitting; but when the other girl was around, you were just a bother. You couldn't stay there any longer, you needed to go before they could see you or this was going to be awkward. You quickly wiped your tears away and you put a smile on your face before walking to where Joey, Brian and Chuck were. When you saw them you tried your best to keep the smile on your face but it was being hard, you were feeling bad and you couldn't do anything about it. You just needed to go away, to stay away from them because you didn't want them to see you sad. You really wanted to come back to your room and forget the scene you just saw of Darren and Kelly kissing. Chuck and Joey were talking about something and you walked straight to Brian. You walked towards him and you took him by his wrist, so he looked at you with a smile; with a smile that quickly vanished when he saw your face.

_**"Sunny, are you okay?"**_ He asked concerned and so softly that Chuck and Joey didn't hear.

_**"I'm fine."**_ You replied in a whisper, looking down and still grabbing his wrist. _**"I just wanna come back to our room." **_

_**"Why? What has happened? I thought you wanted to go for some beers. Sunny, are you really okay? You look pale." **_Brian whispered still concerned, now placing his hands on your shoulders.

_**"I just feel a bit dizzy. If you wanna stay, you can stay. But I will just... I will come back to our room."**_ You whispered still looking down, feeling really bad, but trying to hide it.

_**"Of course I won't let you go alone. I'm going with you."**_ Brian said firmly and you noticed he wanted to look into your eyes but you kept avoiding his gaze. _**"Just let's wait until Darren and Kelly arrive so we can greet them." **_

_**"No."**_ You refused strongly and Brian frowned slightly. _**"I really want to go right now." **_

_**"Fine, as you wish."**_ Brian said softly and he caressed your cheek smoothly before walking towards Chuck and Joey. _**"Hey guys, maybe we could leave the beers for another time." **_

_**"What do you mean?"**_ Chuck asked confused, frowning.

_**"It's just I remembered I have to do an assignment due tomorrow that I haven't even started and it's already too late." **_You answered quickly and Brian looked at you frowning. Of course you had nothing to do and he knew it.

_**"Freckles, are you okay? You look pale."**_ Joey asked frowning, looking at you.

_**"Yes, I'm fine."**_ You answered forcing a smile. _**"I just really need to go right now. I really have to do that assignment."**_

_**"It's okay, we get that."**_ Joey said. _**"But Brian, bro, you're staying, right?"**_

_**"Umm, no. I'll go with her. It's dark already and it's kinda dangerous if she returns alone."**_ Brian replied.

_**"Oh, what a shit, man! I'll have to stand Kelly alone."**_ Joey exclaimed moody and you looked at him. When you heard Kelly's name you started feeling bad again. You really needed to go right now.

_**"Yes, I'm so sorry guys! Really!"**_ You said quickly and you tried to force a smile again. _**"Greet Darren and Kelly for us! And Chuck..."**_ You said walking towards him and you hugged him. _**"It was really nice to have seen you again and to have talked to you. I hope you can have a good last day in here and I hope you can come back soon."**_

_**"Will do. And I hope to see you in NYC sometime, Freckles."**_ Chuck said smiling friendly.

_**"It would be cool."**_ You answered with a smile.

You greeted Joey and Brian greeted both of them and then you and Brian left the shop in silence. You walked to the bus stop also in silence. You knew Brian was looking at you concerned and also intrigued to know what was happening to you; but he didn't ask anything because he knew you and he knew you didn't like to talk whenever you said you were fine but wasn't like that. After a while you arrived at your room and the first you did was to cuddle on the couch with a cushion. Brian stood in front of you and looked at you, yet you kept looking down while hugging the cushion.

_**"Do you want a coffee or a drink?"**_ Brian asked softly.

_**"No, thank you."**_ You replied dully, looking at the floor.

_**"Okay."**_ Brian said in a whisper.

He sat next to you and he remained looking at you while you were still trying to avoid his gaze. You couldn't get why you were feeling so bad. What you saw shouldn't affect you so much. After all, both Darren and you were single and you were just friends, so you shouldn't feel sad for that kiss. But you couldn't help it and silent tears started to stream down your face again and you knew exactly why: You were lonely. You had no one to love and be loved and you wanted to be with someone. And Darren was very important to you, so seeing that kiss just emphasized more the loneliness you were feeling. When Brian noticed you were sobbing in silence, he moved closer and he placed a hand on your shoulder.

_**"Hey, Sunny, what's wrong?"**_ He asked softly.

_**"I just wanted to leave that place."**_ You replied with choked voice, covering your face so maybe that way you were going to be able to stop the crying.

_**"Hey, but we did leave. We're already here at our room."**_ Brian said softly, squeezing your shoulder.

_**"I know. But I felt really uncomfortable, Brian. I really didn't have a good time there. My plans were about having fun and nothing went as I expected." **_You answered wiping your tears away and finally looking at Brian sadly. _**"And there was this Kelly girl. She wouldn't stop saying me rude things and I don't even know what I've done to deserve being treated that way. I have no idea what I did wrong." **_

_**"You did nothing wrong, Sunny. She was the only one who was being rude for no reason. Maybe she was just jealous, I don't know."**_ Brian said shrugging.

_**"Jealous? Of what, Brian?"**_ You asked frowning, in disbelief.

_**"I don't know... You girls are weird... So maybe because of the way she noticed everybody likes you and because you're funny, smart and very beautiful..."**_ Brian replied a bit uncomfortable.

_**"Oh, that's absurd, Brian."**_ You said huffing, looking away. _**"It just made me feel bad the way she treated me."**_

_**"Well, just forget about Kelly! She was rude and you shouldn't feel bad for something a rude person did or said. Just feel good because, even though she was rude, you could keep being cheerful and nice to everybody. You should feel proud and not bad. Who is Kelly to make you change your mood?"**_ Brian asked frowning, looking deeply into your eyes and you looked at him and smiled slightly. _**"Is that the reason why you wanted to go?"**_

_**"Yes..."**_ You lied looking down.

It would be better if you didn't tell Brian that it was because you saw Kelly and Darren kissing, because then he was going to start asking you uncomfortable questions you didn't want to answer for now.

_**"So we left for a stupid reason. If there's someone who should have gone, that was Kelly. Joey told me he couldn't stand her and Chuck also didn't seem so happy to have her around and less Darren, he seemed to be uncomfortable. We should've stayed."**_ Brian said, still placing his hand on your shoulder.

You remained looking down, thinking it wasn't like that. You knew you were the one who had to go, because Darren was uncomfortable only because you were there, not because Kelly was there. But you couldn't explain this to Brian right now, because you started feeling bad again.

_**"No, I really wanted to go and be here."**_ You answered gloomy, still looking down.

_**"Okay, just never let hurtful things that your eyes see, hurt your bright eyes and ruin your smile."**_ Brian said softly and he caressed your shoulder. You finally looked at him and you smiled sweetly at him because of all the nice things Brian always did for you. _**"That's what I'm talking about."**_ He whispered kindly, still caressing your shoulder, smiling back at you. You moved closer to him, wrapped your arms around his waist and rested your head on his shoulder.

_**"Thank you, Brian, for defending me when Kelly was saying rude things. You were the only one who did that, and although I haven't asked for it, you did it. It was very sweet from you and I'm very grateful for what you did for me."**_ You whispered and then you looked up at him before kissing his cheek. He looked down to look at you and he smiled kindly. _**"Why have you done that, though?"**_ You asked curiously. Brian looked away a bit uncomfortable, but then he looked at you with that particular twinkle in his green eyes.

_**"Because I didn't like the way that girl was treating you. And because you... you're my best friend and I'll never let someone hurt you, no matter who." **_Brian answered with a sweet smile and you couldn't help smiling fondly at him. You buried your head on his chest as you hugged him tighter.

_**"Have I ever said I love you?"**_ You asked while still burying your head on his chest.

_**"A lot of times. But I never get tired of hearing that."**_ Brian whispered and he kissed your head.

_**"Brian?"**_ You whispered. _**"Could you please hold me?"**_

Brian didn't answer. He only wrapped his firm and muscular arms around you. This was what you needed, to feel a little comfort in the arms of someone, to feel like you weren't so lonely, even if it was your best friend the one who was making you feel like that. Brian started caressing your hair with one hand and rubbing your arm with his other hand, as you were just placing your head in his chest, smelling his perfume. Then Brian kissed your temple and rested his cheek on your head. You started feeling meek and vulnerable as you felt how tears wanted to fall down your face again. Why did you have to feel so lonely?

_**"Do you love me?"**_ You asked in a whisper while burying your head in his chest, enjoying the way Brian was caressing your hair.

_**"Yes, I do."**_ Brian replied in a whisper while nuzzling your head with his nose.

_**"But if I don't ask you, you don't tell me so. Why do you never tell me that you love me?"**_ You asked anguished, still feeling lonely and very vulnerable.

_**"I didn't know I had to say it to let you know that I love you. I always thought is with actions and not words the best way to show someone how much you love them. Am I doing something wrong that you can't notice it?"**_ Brian asked softly but a bit confused, still holding you tightly in his arms.

_**"No, you always show me. But sometimes you just need to hear someone saying they love you; sometimes you need to hear those words."**_ You answered with choked voice and teary eyes, still burying your face on his chest. You didn't want to cry, but tears came out anyway because you were feeling sensitive.

_**"Now, look at me."**_ Brian whispered sweetly but firmly, placing his hands on your cheeks. You finally looked at him and you got lost in his deep green and bright eyes. _**"I'm telling you that I love you. I love you so much, Sunny."**_ He whispered very affectionately, looking deeply into your eyes.

His eyes were really bright and the mesmerizing twinkle in his green eyes appeared again. Brian was really beautiful in every sense of the word. You remained looking at him for a really long time, appreciating every feature of his face: he had really mesmerizing deep and warm green eyes; long lashes; a perfect nose; well-shaped and plump lips that were kissable; the most amazing smile, perfect white teeth and very gentle features; soft hair, and a chiseled jaw, high cheekbones and well-formed bone structure making him strikingly handsome. Not only that, but he had broad shoulders and the shape of his Biceps, Triceps, and Deltoids were easily seen through his shirt. And besides his attractive features, Brian was a charming and warm-hearted guy. He was literally like one prince out of a fairy tale. You placed a hand on his cheek and started caressing it to feel his soft skin with not even a single pimple, while looking into his eyes with your lips parted. He surely felt surprised by the way you were caressing his cheek and the way you were looking at him, because he looked at you a bit nervous. Damn, how come you never noticed that Brian was so handsome and appealing? Why were you feeling attracted to him all of a sudden? Why did you have this need to kiss him? Why did you think that by kissing him you wouldn't feel lonely any longer? This wasn't right; he was your best friend. But he was handsome and sweet and you were feeling lonely and needed some kind of affection; and Brian was being really nice, cute, and affectionate and caring with you. Without even thinking, you leaned closer to him and you pressed your lips against his, kissing them very gently and softly. His lips were indeed very soft and warm and they tasted so good; his smell was also very pleasant. You kept one hand on his cheek, you placed the other hand on the nape of his neck and you pulled him closer to you to deepen the kiss. Brian was very strained and surprised by what you were doing; but you, for some reason, wanted to do this. He didn't move and he wasn't kissing you back, he was really uptight and you could sense his heart beating fast. You parted your lips from his but you kept brushing them, with your eyes closed. After a while, Brian placed both of his hands on your jaw and he started kissing your lips very gently but a little deeper than the way you kissed him. You tangled your fingers in his hair with one hand still on the nape of his neck. The gentle, soft and sweet kiss quickly turned into a deep and almost desperate kiss. The room was so silent that you could hear the heavy breathing of both of you. Brian broke the kiss several times to breath in front of your lips to recover his breathe and to then keep kissing you. You felt a warm sensation when he introduced his tongue in your mouth and he started massaging your tongue with his. You broke the kiss several times to recover your breathe and to nibble his lower lip. But you couldn't stop kissing him; his lips felt really good and he was damn hell of a good kisser. This was wrong, but you were feeling good. You weren't feeling so lonely and it's been a while since the last time you kissed someone this way, so it felt good. After nibbling his lower lip, you pulled him into a very fierce and fervent kiss while you moved closer to him. While still kissing like this, you finally managed to sit on his lap, with your legs on each one of his sides. Brian placed his hands on your waist as you placed your hands on his stomach, underneath his shirt. You touched his biceps and triceps as he moaned in between the kiss; but he didn't touch you. You broke the kiss only to take off his shirt in a very fierce way and right after this, you opened your eyes to stare and admire his bare and well-toned upper body. When you looked up, Brian was looking at you perplexed with his lips parted; his hair was all messed because of your fault and he had rosy cheeks; he looked really hot like this. You quickly leaned over to start kissing his neck. You noticed Brian closed his eyes again and he started moaning softly; when you started sucking his neck, his moans were louder and those sounds he was making were really turning you on. You were feeling really aroused and this felt really good; so you started unzipping your dress and you quickly took it off. Brian looked at your upper body still with his lips parted and his eyes seemed to be like disorientated; then he looked into your eyes again and you took advantage to lean over and kiss his lips again, very fervently. Brian placed again his hands on your jaw and you moved to sit on his crotch, he was already hard and when you felt this, you moaned in the kiss. You unfastened your bra and threw it on the floor. You pushed your hips against his crotch and Brian whined and thrust his hips up as an instinct as he placed his hands on your waist. While still kissing almost lustfully, you took one of Brian's hands and placed it on one of your breasts. He got strained again; you felt his heart beating fast against you, you heard his heavy breathing against you and you heard his moan in between the kiss.

_**"I love you."**_ He suddenly whispered hoarsely in front of your lips, brushing them with his. You just kept kissing him fiercely.

_**"I love you too."**_ You whispered weakly in front of his lips before biting them and kissing them passionately again.

You tangled your fingers in his hair again and kissed him even more fiercely. You were really aroused and the way Brian was kissing you as one of the best kissers in the world was driving you crazy. Damn, you never felt this with Ian. With your free hand, you started rubbing his bare chest and you made your way down to his stomach and then to his hipbone as you started thrusting your hips against his crotch. You couldn't stop moaning and neither could Brian. The kiss started turning into just pressing parted lips together to gasp heavily. You unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans and you started rubbing his pelvis. In reaction to this, Brian whimpered loudly and thrust his hips up, placing both of his hands on your hips.

_**"Do you really love me?"**_ Brian asked in a moan in front of your parted lips.

_**"Of course I do."**_ You replied also in a moan and you kissed his lips ardently again, running your fingers through his pelvis, trying to run them underneath his underwear. _**"You're my best friend, of course I do."**_ You moaned.

Right after you said this, Brian stopped kissing you abruptly and he grabbed your wrist to stop you from touching his pelvis. You opened your eyes to look at him in confusion, not knowing why he could have stopped so abruptly. When you looked at him, he was looking into your eyes, frowning with his lips parted. His eyes seemed to be confused and sad. Why was he looking at you that way? Why has he stopped you? He kept grabbing your wrist and he moved the hand he had on your hip; then he looked down, still frowning and with that disturbed facial expression. What was going on?

_**"What?"**_ You asked gingerly and hoarsely.

_**"Why are you doing this?"**_ Brian asked disturbed, still looking down. Then he looked up straight in your eyes. He seemed to be... hurt?

_**"I don't know... Because I want to and... Come on, Brian..."**_ You replied weakly trying to kiss and touch him again, but he held your hands and moved his face to look at you still with that weird look.

_**"No, stop, Sunny, really."**_ Brian whispered and looked down again, with his eyebrows downward. _**"What is this all about?" **_

_**"Just... I'm alone and you're alone... And this is like... Like a way to help each other."**_ You answered frowning, feeling too stupid to think right now because you were still aroused.

_**"To help each other?"**_ Brian asked looking at you with an incredulous facial expression and sad eyes.

_**"Yes, we're best friends and we both are alone... Like, I don't know... Sometimes best friends do this kind of things, like fuck buddies."**_ You answered awkwardly, still frowning.

_**"Like fuck buddies?"**_ Brian asked again with sad eyes and then he looked down and ran his fingers through his hair. _**"That thing of fuck buddies is a stupid thing. When friends do that is because they just want to have a fun time and they really don't care about each other's feelings. I don't want that with you. Not with you."**_

_**"What? Don't you find me attractive? Because I do find you attractive and we're best friends, so I don't know what the big deal is." **_You said frowning, also looking down.

_**"Yes, I do find you very attractive. And the big deal is that I care about you way too much to screw our friendship only because one night we were aroused. I don't like that thing of fuck buddies and I'll never want to be that with you."**_ Brian said pursing his lips, still with his eyebrows downward.

_**"Brian, come on! We both are alone and we have needs. When was the last time you had sex with someone? High school? Don't you have urges?"**_ You asked looking at him frowning as he was still looking down.

_**"Yeah, high school, but it doesn't matter when the last time I had sex was. And yeah, I do have urges, I'm a human being. But I'll never use you to satisfy my urges because I'd never want to turn the amazing relationship we have into a vicious thing only to satisfy our sexual urges."**_ Brian replied looking deeply into your eyes with distressed eyes.

You remained looking at him for a while, now feeling terrible, ashamed and anguished. Then you looked down, you pouted and you started feeling that lump in throat, that pain in the chest and those tears in your eyes. You couldn't believe what you've recently done. You led Brian, your best friend, to end up like this with you. You kissed him in a very fierce way and you were about to have sex with him only because you were feeling lonely. How could you have done that to your best friend? And you knew that Brian hasn't been with a girl in a long time, you knew he was feeling very desperate; and you took advantage of it because you knew he was going to kiss you back because he surely had urges as any human being. How could you? How could you have done it without considering the consequences that could be losing your best friend? You were feeling like a desperate slut who has forced your best friend to have sex only because you were feeling lonely; only because you've seen Darren and Kelly kissing and you felt really lonely and ugly. You moved away from Brian's lap and covered your face with your hands and you started weeping.

_**"I'm so sorry, Brian!"**_ You said crying, still covering your face with your hands, bending your legs and resting your head on your knees. _**"I'm so sorry, I didn't want to... I didn't mean to use you! I'm so sorry."**_ You said weeping disconsolately. But then you looked at Brian again to find him looking at you with sad eyes while tears wouldn't stop falling down your face. _**"I just want someone to make me feel attractive and loved."**_

_**"You don't need to have sex with someone to feel attractive and loved." **_Brian said softly looking deeply into your eyes.

But what he said somehow made you feel worse so you sobbed. Brian moved closer to you and he wrapped an arm around you, caressing smoothly your hair. You rested your head on his bare chest and you started crying again.

_**"Then how? Then how can I feel attractive and loved if I'm alone, if I'm lonely, if nobody wants to be with me?" **_You asked crying while Brian kept caressing your short hair.

_**"Listen, Sunny. Just because there's a specific person who doesn't want to be with you, doesn't mean that no one finds you attractive and no one loves you. There are a lot of people who love you so much and who find you very attractive." **_Brian whispered softly again.

_**"Like who?"**_ You asked exasperated looking into Brian's eyes with teary eyes. Brian remained silent for a very long time, apparently uncomfortable. He obviously didn't know who to mention because he knew there was nobody.

_**"Like me."**_ Brian finally answered in a whisper looking intensely into your eyes with his bright green eyes. You shook your head and looked down, shedding more tears; he wasn't getting what you were trying to say.

_**"Of course, because you're my best friend and I'd say the same of you. But I mean... Another guy, a guy who is interested in being with me, a guy who's willing to give me love, who's willing to treat me as a girlfriend."**_ You said shedding tears feeling very lonely.

Brian remained silent, still uncomfortable. You looked at him to see why he was so silent. He was looking away with sad eyes, pursing his lips and with his eyebrows downward. He seemed to be deep in thought, as if he was lost... and sad.

_**"You know?"**_ Brian whispered still with his gaze lost. _**"I could be that guy."**_ Brian said with trembling voice.

And then he looked into your eyes again. You saw the twinkle in his eyes again; his eyes were really deep and there was something weird in him. Why would he say he could be that guy? He really wasn't getting what you were trying to say, like that time you confessed him you wanted to have a boyfriend. You looked down and sighed.

_**"Brian, I really think you're not getting what I'm trying to say..."**_ You whispered sadly.

_**"Yes, I know exactly what you want to say." **_Brian said firmly and you looked at him again. _**"You want a guy who can make you feel attractive and loved, a guy who is willing to give you all the love you need and deserve, a guy who can make you feel as his girlfriend; so that way you won't feel as if you were lonely. Because there's a guy who will make you feel you're the most valuable thing for him. I know that's exactly what you tried to say."**_ Brian whispered looking intensely into your eyes and you nodded slightly. _**"I can be that guy."**_ He repeated and you sighed again, frowning and feeling bad.

_**"Brian, you're so sweet and all you do is simply so wonderful. But I need a guy with who I can cuddle, I can sleep at night, I can hug and kiss, I can make love with. That's the guy I need." **_You said whispering distressed looking at him.

You didn't want him to misinterpret you and think that you didn't appreciate what he was doing for you; but you needed to let him know that this was something more than a best friend could give you. Brian was now looking at you with those sad eyes that were heartbreaking. He was surely thinking that you didn't appreciate what he was doing.

_**"You need that kind of guy only because you don't want to feel lonely and you want to feel special to someone?"**_ Brian finally asked looking deeply at you.

_**"Yes."**_ You whispered anguished looking at his sad eyes.

_**"Then I can be that guy."**_ Brian repeated insistently and you sighed and let out some tears, feeling frustrated. Brian held your hands and you kept looking down. _**"What you need is not a boyfriend but a person who can make you feel special. You really don't need someone to kiss or have sex with if what you really want is to feel special to someone, feel loved, attractive and not lonely. Therefore I can be the guy."**_ Brian said firmly and softly and you looked at him afflicted while he was looking at you full of hopes. _**"Let me be that guy for you."**_

_**"No, Brian."**_ You answered afflicted but very firmly because he needed to understand this wasn't something that your best friend could give you. Brian looked down sorrowful and pursed his lips, still holding your hands though. _**"I really need a boyfriend who can kiss me and have an intimate relationship to feel attractive and loved the way I need."**_

_**"You know?"**_ Brian said after a long time he was silent. He looked up at you again and your eyes met his. He seemed to be nervous but determined at the same time. _**"I'll prove you wrong."**_ Brian said and you shook your head and sighed. But when you were about to say something, he interrupted you. _**"No, listen to me, Sunny. I'll prove you wrong and I'll show you that you really don't need to have a boyfriend to feel all of that. I'll show you that I'm that guy who can make you feel special, attractive, loved and not lonely without the need of kissing or having sex. I'll show you that."**_ Brian said resolutely looking deeply into your eyes. You were about to refuse, but he interrupted you again. _**"Do not say anything at all. Just let me show you, you won't lose anything by trying. So, give me the chance."**_ Brian said now in a supplicant way.

You sighed distressed, looking down, but then you looked into his deep green eyes. He was so hopeful and eager that you wouldn't forgive yourself if you said no and hurt him. He was trying, after all. He was doing this only for you, to make you feel good; he didn't have to do this, but he was doing this anyway. For you. You looked at him with teary eyes because of the thrill you were feeling for seeing him trying to do his best for you, to make you feel better. You smiled fondly at him and caressed his cheek smoothly. Brian smiled back at you and he brushed a strand of hair that was covering your eyes.

_**"Okay."**_ You answered still smiling fondly at him with teary eyes.

_**"Good." **_Brian replied with another fondly smile.

Then he crouched to grab your bra that was on the floor. You realized that your upper body was still naked and you suddenly felt embarrassed and covered your breasts with your arms. You were naked in front of your best friend. Then Brian moved closer to you with your bra on his hands.

_**"I feel so ashamed."**_ You whispered while frowning and blushing.

_**"Don't be."**_ Brian whispered with a kind smile.

He sat behind you and started to put your bra on. You let him doing so and you let him fasten your bra for you. Well, nobody ever fastened your bra for you after having sex or something. It was always you the one who had to do it, and it felt nice that someone else was doing it for you, even if it was Brian, your best friend, the one who was doing it. He didn't make you feel embarrassed; he made you feel as if he cared about you somehow. Then he caressed both of your arms with his hands and kissed softly one of your shoulders.

_**"I won't let you down."**_ Brian whispered softly in your ear and you turned your face to look at him. He was looking into your eyes and he was smiling kindly.

Then he stood up again and zipped up and buttoned his jeans again as you were looking at him still feeling a bit embarrassed for being in this situation with your best friend. He crouched and grabbed your dress and then he looked up to you. When he noticed you were looking at him, he just smiled kindly again. He walked to you with your dress, still shirtless, and then you stood up. He also put your dress on for you and while he was doing this, you felt his bare upper body against yours and you shivered slightly. He zipped up your dress and then he kissed your cheek as you smiled at him. It was really weird to feel how someone was dressing you instead undressing you. It was a very different feeling that you've never felt. This should be the feeling of someone really caring about you; a simple gesture like this. You looked at him very thankful and he just smiled charmingly before walking to get his t-shirt and put it on. You looked at him in silence while he was combing his messy hair with his fingers. Brian was weird; but weird in a good way. He was unique. What kind of guy would have done something like this for you with no intentions to get in your pants after all that recently happened? When you were kissing and touching him, he could perfectly have kept going because you knew he was aroused and he had urges; but he stopped you anyway. And he stopped you not because he was rejecting you, but because he understood you were doing that only because you were feeling bad with yourself. And instead being mad at you, he was kind, sweet and caring; he forgave you and he even told you that he was going to make you feel special. Tears started to stream down your face because of the thrill and because you were feeling very sensitive. You had the best friend you could ever have. Brian finally looked at you and when he saw you crying in silence, he didn't say anything, he just walked to you, wiped your tears away and smiled. Then he walked you to the couch and made you sit there; yet he remained standing.

_**"I want you to wait for me right here."**_ Brian started saying with a smile and then he walked to the desk to bring something. _**"Take this, you can read this while waiting for me."**_ Brian said giving you a book. _**"Salvador Dalí, your favorite painter, isn't he?"**_ He said smiling brightly.

_**"Yes, he is."**_ You replied with a giggle, grabbing the book. He really knew a lot about you.

_**"Alright, just... Wait for me. I won't take so long."**_ He said and when you nodded he turned around and went to the bathroom.

You started reading the book and observing the images of the paintings by your favorite painter. You were entertained, but truth was Brian was actually taking a long time. Yet, you kept waiting for him on the couch. After a while, Brian appeared again with a bright smile and you looked at him frowning and a bit amused.

_**"Would you do me the honor of accompanying me, miss?"**_ Brian asked as a gentleman, handing you his hand. You chuckled and held his hand.

_**"Where, mister?"**_ You asked amused as you stood up.

_**"I'd like to show you the new facilities of this spa."**_ Brian answered with a saucy smile, walking you to the direction where the bathroom was.

_**"Spa?"**_ You asked with a chuckle, frowning amused.

_**"Oh yeah, right now we're in a very renowned spa and I'd like to show you the special room reserved only to you, an important lady."**_ Brian answered with the same saucy smile.

_**"Well, well, well; I'm intrigued to know how it looks like, mister."**_ You said amused.

When you arrived to the bathroom, the door was closed and he made you stop. Then he let out your hand and opened slightly the door of the bathroom.

_**"After you, miss."**_ Brian said making a gentleman gesture to invite you to get in.

You walked into the bathroom and then you found out why Brian took so long. He lit some candles and placed them on the lavatory and on the bath. He also placed some aromatizes of your favorite scent. He filled the tub with water, bubbles and Epsom salts. There were also towels, sponges, masks, facial cream and body lotion. You smiled amused and also sweetly at him as he was smiling brightly.

_**"I like this room, mister."**_ You said chuckling.

_**"I'm glad."**_ Brian said nodding as a gentleman. _**"Now, would you do me the honor of sitting right there?"**_ Brian said pointing you the toilet. You frowned because this was weird but you did it anyway. Then Brian walked towards you with a bowl. You frowned when you looked at it.

_**"What is that?"**_ You asked suspiciously.

_**"Just close your eyes." **_Brian demanded and you hesitated before doing it. Then Brian started applying something in your face. It was a mask. You giggled while he was doing this. _**"I've heard that a mask of avocado and yogurt is pretty good to moisturize and exfoliate skin."**_

_**"It really is."**_ You replied while laughing while Brian was still applying the mask on your face.

For some reason he knew how to apply it because he didn't cover the part of your mouth and eyes. And this was weird, it was weird the way someone was applying a mask for you because nobody else has done it before. What was this? You didn't care about the answer; you were just enjoying this way too much.

_**"Alright, we're done."**_ He said and you opened your eyes to look at Brian smiling. _**"Now, miss, I'll leave you alone so you can take a very nice bath. When you get in the bath, do not forget to place in your eyes those cucumber slices. I've set an alarm that indicates the time you have to get out the bath and cover your body and hair with these towels. Do not forget to apply body lotion in your body to moisturize your skin. Right after that, you'll have to come to the massaging area that is located in the bedroom."**_ Brian said smiling brightly.

_**"Massaging area, eh?"**_ You said amused.

_**"That's right, miss."**_ Brian said smiling proudly and you chuckled. _**"I hope you can enjoy your immersion bath, miss."**_

_**"Will do."**_ You said smiling widely.

After Brian left the bathroom, you took off your clothes and you immersed in the bath. The water was really warm. You did what Brian said, you placed the cucumber slices in your eyes and you just enjoyed the bath. You noticed that Brian, before leaving, put on some relaxing music. This was really nice and you didn't realize how much you loved doing this and how little time you dedicated to spoil yourself with these kinds of things. Actually, it was Brian the one who was spoiling you. After all, he was the one who came up with this idea and the one who prepared everything. You smiled pleasantly when you started thinking about all the things Brian always did for you without expecting anything in return. You also started thinking you should do more for him; you should also surprise him because he deserved so. He deserved so many things. You couldn't remember the last time you surprised him with something nice and that made you feel a bit sad. You should think about surprising him as a gratitude for all he always did for you; but instead, Darren was the only one who was in your mind. You were always thinking about Darren, about the things you could do together, about the things you could give him, about the way you could surprise him, about the way you could make him smile. And Darren was with Kelly. Why were you doing this? Why were you after Darren if he had another girl? Why were you doing this if Darren was only your friend? Well, you shouldn't stop doing those things with Darren, not even if he had a girlfriend or whatever Kelly was; because you enjoyed being with Darren and you loved doing those things for him. But you should also start thinking about Brian who was all the time taking care of you and was always there for you to cheer you up, to listen to you, to talk to you, to support you, to give you a hug when you needed one; Brian was always there and he never disappointed you. And you should also let yourself meet a guy, you should be open about it, you should just meet someone new. You were so deep in thought until a loud noise scared you: the alarm. After laughing at yourself because of the way you got scared, you got out the bath and you applied body lotion in your skin as Brian told you, you took off the mask of avocado and yogurt with cool water, and you covered your body and hair with a towel. You checked the time: You've been there for over an hour and a half. Wow, you thought you didn't take so long in there. You walked slowly to the bedroom. Brian wasn't there yet, but you could see a blanket on the floor and some pillows. There were also some light scented aromatherapy candles and reed diffusers and air fresheners. There was also music and different beauty products. You looked over your bed and you saw one of your evening yellow dresses and a pair of heels. You frowned when you saw this. What was Brian up to? You walked to your bed, thinking that maybe you should wear that dress, but suddenly you heard someone knocking the door.

_**"Can I come in, miss?"**_ Brian asked.

_**"Sure you can."**_ You answered still covered with the towels. Brian opened the door and he looked at you with a nice smile.

_**"Have you enjoyed the immersion bath, miss?"**_ He asked as a gentleman and you smiled brightly.

_**"Of course I have. Thank you."**_ You answered smiling sweetly.

_**"It's my pleasure."**_ Brian replied smiling. _**"Now, would you do me the honor to lie face down?"**_

_**"Alright."**_ You answered with an amused smile.

You did exactly what Brian asked you and he placed a pillow underneath your breast bone and folded two towels and placed one underneath your forehead and the other underneath your ankles. Then he unfolded to your waistline the towel that was wrapped around your chest to expose your back. This was feeling really weird.

_**"Okay, I'll begin. Let me know if anything I'm doing is painful or uncomfortable."**_ Brian said softly and you just nodded.

You noticed he placed massage oil in a cupped hand and spread it across you back, shoulders and neck with long and light strokes. Then he started massaging your back, the sides of your spine and your shoulders and neck with palm circles, muscle lifting, with his knuckles, and with his thumbs. Oh damn hell, this was heaven. You couldn't remember the last time someone gave you massages and this felt really relaxing and pleasant, even if from time to time it was painful because of your contractures. But Brian was always smooth and gentle. After a long time, Brian draped a towel over your back and rubbed it gently so the towel absorbed the oil.

_**"Alright..."**_ Brian whispered softly, placing his hands on your shoulders. _**"Now you can get up, very slowly." **_

You smiled in pleasure and you started getting up, but you wobbled because you were really relaxed. Brian held you and helped you to stand up while you placed your hands on his shoulders.

_**"Thank you, Brian. This was truly amazing."**_ You said smiling affectionately at him.

_**"I'm glad you enjoyed it. This is the first time I gave massages to someone."**_ He said chuckling softly.

_**"I don't believe you!"**_ You exclaimed amazed because he was really good.

_**"Well, believe me. I had to google it to know how to do it."**_ He confessed laughing and you raised your eyebrows in surprise. _**"Well, but we're not done yet." **_

_**"Aren't we?"**_ You asked curiously looking at him and he smiled in a mysterious way.

_**"Of course not. Would you do me the honor to sit in that chair over there?" **_Brian asked pointing you a chair in front of the nightstand.

You did what Brian asked and you noticed he placed a mirror on the nightstand and also a comb, a hairdryer, and the box in which you had your make-up. You chuckled amused and Brian sat in a chair next to yours.

_**"So? What are you planning to do now?" **_You asked amused.

_**"Surprise."**_ He said laughing and grabbing your box of make-up. He took a yellow nail polish. You looked at him really amused. _**"Okay, place your feet on my knees."**_ Brian demanded and you laughed.

_**"Are you gonna do what I'm thinking you're gonna do?"**_ You asked laughing and Brian looked at you amused.

_**"I don't know what you're thinking I'm gonna do."**_ Brian answered amused while you placed your feet on his knees and he opened the nail polish. _**"Okay, this is the first time I'm gonna do this, so you'll have to be patient."**_

_**"Fine."**_ You replied in a giggle.

Brian made a very concentrated grimace and he started painting the nails of your toes. His hands were trembling because of the concentration; therefore he ended up painting your toes.

_**"Oh shit!"**_ Brian exclaimed moody and frowning because of his failure and you laughed out loud.

_**"Oh, don't worry."**_ You said still laughing and he looked at you with an amused smile. _**"Give me the nail polish remover and a cotton ball."**_ You demanded and Brian gave it to you. You started removing the parts of your toes that Brian painted. _**"Now, it'll be easier for you if you add those toe nail separators."**_ You said pointing Brian them. Brian looked at them and he frowned.

_**"This shit is for that? I had no idea what this was for." **_Brian said looking intrigued at the toe nail separators and you laughed. _**"How does this work?"**_

_**"Like this..."**_ You said placing the toe nail separators and Brian looked at you frowning.

_**"Isn't that uncomfortable?"**_ He asked apparently disturbed and you laughed again.

_**"No, not really."**_ You answered with an amused smile. _**"Now this way it will be easier. And if you paint my toes, don't worry, just remove it with the nail polish remover."**_

_**"Okay..."**_ Brian said and he kept trying to paint your nails of the toes, very concentrated, biting his lips and frowning. _**"I really don't know how you girls can do this! This is crazy. I think I'm gonna go blind and my eyes will stay crossed."**_ He commented and you burst out laughing.

After a really long time, Brian finished painting the nails of your toes and then he started painting your fingernails. You tried to talk to him about random things, but he didn't spoke so much because he was truly concentrated. He failed several times and his hands wouldn't stop trembling. But you didn't care because what he was doing was something really nice from him; you'd have never imagined that a guy could do this for you. After that, he grabbed your box of make-up and he started pulling out your entire make up products.

_**"Alright. I want to do this, but you'll have to help me out."**_ Brian said while frowning and looking at your make-up products as you smiled amused. _**"I want to, you know, apply make-up on you. But I honestly have no idea what those things are for and how to do that."**_ He confessed and you laughed loudly.

_**"Okay, first off... You have to apply a sheer foundation. It's that thing over there."**_ You said pointing Brian the sheer foundation. Brian grabbed it and looked at it frowning. _**"Good. Now, use the sponge and start around my hairline and work your way down to my throat area." **_You explained and Brian started doing it very smoothly and you were pursing your lips not to laugh. _**"Okay, around my eye area, do very light strokes inward, toward the inner corner of my eyes." **_You said and Brian did it very carefully._** "Good, now take the concealer. It's that thing over there."**_ You said pointing him it. Brian grabbed it and looked at you expectant to know what he had to do. _**"Apply it in the corner of my eyes, around my nostrils, and under my eyes. Then pat very lightly with your finger to blend. Afterward, use the wedge to blend the concealer in with the foundation."**_

_**"Okay, I think I got it."**_ Brian said when he did all you said. _**"Now, what's next?" **_

_**"Now take the loose powder and the powder brush and pat it into the powder."**_ You said pointing him those things. He grabbed them and patted the powder brush into the powder. _**"Now, just lightly brush across my whole face and apply the bronzer to my forehead, cheeks and chin."**_ You said and you closed your eyes while Brian started doing it in a very funny way. Then you opened your eyes again. _**"Good, now take the blush and apply it to the apples of my cheeks." **_

_**"To the apple of your cheeks?"**_ Brian asked frowning very confused.

_**"Yes, when I smile, you'll see what that is."**_ You said and you smiled. Brian looked at you amused and then he nodded and started doing it.

_**"Oh my god. I'm so sorry! Oh my god, you look creepy, like a clown." **_Brian said with his eyes wide open and you took a look in the mirror. Yes, you indeed looked like a clown. He added too much color to the brush. You laughed loudly when you saw the way you looked, though.

_**"Don't worry, I can fix that."**_ You said smiling and you grabbed the wedge to blend it in more until the color was faded out a bit. _**"See? Fixed!"**_ You exclaimed cheerfully and Brian chuckled. _**"Now it's time to apply eye make-up. This is probably the hardest part. Are you ready?"**_ You asked amused.

_**"I think so..."**_ Brian answered frowning with an amused smile.

_**"Okay, take the black liner."**_ You said pointing him it and then you closed your eyes. _**"Now, apply liner with very light strokes to my upper lid, stroking toward the outer corner of my eye. And use the angle brush to blend it. Do it in both of my eyes." **_

_**"Okay, umm, how do you do to make them look the same? I... Damn shit, I think I screwed it! Oh shit, oh shit!"**_ Brian exclaimed alarmed as he tried to remove a part with his fingers. _**"Oh no, it's worse now! Shit!" **_

_**"Okay, stop."**_ You said and when Brian stopped you opened your eyes and you looked in the mirror.

_**"Shit, you look like a raccoon! I'm so sorry!"**_ Brian exclaimed alarmed and you laughed. His comparisons were fantastic. Yes, you indeed looked terrible.

_**"What have you done, Clerk?"**_ You asked amused.

_**"I don't know, I'm so sorry."**_ Brian said looking down while cursing himself.

_**"Don't worry, I can fix it."**_ You said looking in the mirror, trying to fix the disaster that Brian has done. _**"It's really hard to do it right, trust me. You need a lot of practice till you get it right and truth is you can never get it right. You can improve, but you can never get it right." **_You commented giggling as Brian was seeing how you were trying to fix it. After you tried to fix at least a little what Brian has done, you looked at him and smiled. _**"Well, ready for the next step?"**_

_**"I'm not so sure now..."**_ Brian said raising his eyebrows. _**"But I guess I'll give it a try."**_

_**"That's the attitude! You never have to give up."**_ You said chuckling and Brian smiled amused. _**"Take the eyeshadow... That thing over there. I don't know what color you prefer..." **_

_**"Do you have yellow?"**_ Brian asked looking at your collection of eyeshadows.

_**"Yes, it's right there."**_ You said pointing him that color. You smiled amused, for some reason he wanted everything to be yellow. When Brian grabbed it, you started explaining him what he had to do. _**"Okay, you can notice that there is more than one color. The lighter color is for the lid and the darker color is for the crease on the lid, just below the eye bone." **_You explained and Brian nodded. _**"Apply the lighter tone first to my lid, spreading upwards to near the crease. For this, use the applicator that is inside the package." **_You said and you closed your eyes so Brian started applying eyeshadow in your eyes. _**"Well, now for the darker color, using the eyeshadow brush, dip into eye color and apply inside the crease of my eye. Blend the color toward the outer corner of my eye. Do it in both eyes." **_You explained and Brian started doing it.

_**"I really suck at this..."**_ Brian said when he finished.

You opened your eyes and found him looking at you kind of sad because of the work he has done. You looked in the mirror and bit your tongue to prevent the laughter. You looked really bad, but you didn't care. What was truly important was what he was doing for you. It was really, but really sweet from him to be doing this.

_**"It's okay. I don't look so bad. For being your first time, this is a very good job, Bri." **_You said smiling kindly at him and he smiled back. _**"Now, only the mascara and the lipstick."**_

_**"Good, tell me how that thing of the mascara is."**_ Brian said enthusiastically and you smiled widely.

_**"It's that thing over there..."**_ You said pointing him the mascara as you looked downward. _**"Dip the brush in the mascara once and apply to the top lash with upward strokes. Start with the inner part and work your way outward. Do it in both eyes."**_ You said and Brian started doing it.

_**"Oh damn. I... I painted your... your eyelid... Sorry!"**_ Brian exclaimed apologetically and you smiled amused as you opened your eyes.

_**"It's okay!"**_ You exclaimed amused and you looked in the mirror to fix it. _**"Okay, see? No big deal." **_

_**"Yeah, you had to fix it all the times. I'm terrible at this!" **_Brian exclaimed frowning. _**"How can you even do it right every time you put make-up on?" **_

_**"It's just practice, Bri! Don't feel discouraged! You've done a good work!" **_You exclaimed encouragingly and Brian nodded. _**"Now, the lipstick. Choose one color."**_

_**"The red one?"**_ Brian asked grabbing your red lipstick.

_**"Yes, I love that color."**_ You said smiling widely. _**"Now, apply the lipstick with a brush. That's all you have to do, just apply it in my lips."**_

_**"Okay..." **_Brian said brushing the lip brush in the lipstick and then he applied it in your lips with parted lips because he was very concentrated. You tried not to smile, but it was hard because it was really cute and funny seeing Brian doing this. _**"Okay, I think it's done." **_Brian said parting and the he took a look.

_**"So, how do I look?"**_ You asked with a sensual look and an amused smile even before looking in the mirror.

_**"You look... Terrible. Like a monster."**_ Brian answered honestly.

_**"Oh jeez, thanks, Brian!"**_ You exclaimed laughing.

_**"But it's not because you aren't pretty, it's because of my fault! This is a disaster!" **_Brian exclaimed exaggeratedly and you giggled and finally looked in the mirror.

_**"Not so bad!"**_ You exclaimed laughing out loud. Truth was you looked terrible indeed. But whatever! You knew this was the first time Brian has done something like this and this was beyond of cuteness.

_**"You're lying!"**_ Brian exclaimed with a chuckle.

_**"I am. But you've done a good job and for me it's more important the intention and dedication than the final result."**_ You said smiling sweetly at him.

_**"Well, I honestly appreciate the fact you haven't slapped me."**_ Brian said amused and you laughed shaking your head and looking at him. _**"Well, now I'll ask you to take off the towel wrapped in your hair."**_ Brian said and you nodded as you did it.

_**"Now it comes the part in which you brush and comb my hair, right?"**_ You asked amused.

_**"Have I told you that you have the power of reading minds?"**_ Brian asked just as amused.

So Brian first dried your hair and then he started combing and brushing your hair very smoothly. He really didn't have any problem with your hair because your hair was short so it wasn't so hard to comb it. You were looking fixedly at him through the mirror. This was surely very cute, the way he treated you very smoothly and gently. What were the chances that a guy could do this for you, even if he has never done it before? Only Brian. You smiled fondly at him even if he wasn't looking at you because he was focused on your hair. Brian was one of the best things that happened in your life. When he finished, he leaned over to rest his chin on your shoulder to look at you through the mirror. He smiled at you and you smiled back. Then he kissed your cheek very gently.

_**"I'd like to say you look outstanding. If only the make-up wasn't a disaster! But you still manage to look precious."**_ Brian whispered and then he stood upright. _**"Alright, lady! Now I'll let you dress. Someone left a package on your bed with the clothes you have to wear." **_

_**"The yellow dress and the heels? It looks very formal and elegant. I wonder why I'd have to wear that."**_ You said curiously and amused.

_**"I've heard that a guy wants to take you out for dinner. But it's a secret, so I'm not allowed to say much." **_Brian whispered in your ear as a secret and you laughed. _**"Well, miss, I'll leave you alone so you can dress up." **_Brian greeted as a gentleman and you nodded.

Brian left the bedroom and closed the door. You started putting on the yellow evening dress and the heels. You were smiling like a goofball; damn! You couldn't remember the last time you smiled so much! Brian was really turning your shitty day into a very nice day. He was really surprising you and you never expected any of the things he has done. How come he could have such amazing ideas? He really knew how to treat a woman, how to make her feel really good. Was all of this part of his plan of proving you wrong? Well, he was starting to get it because you were feeling really happy. And he mentioned he was going to take you out for dinner. But Brian didn't have money, you couldn't allow this. Even if you loved this idea and it's been a really long time since the last time a guy took you out for dinner, you couldn't accept this. When you got dressed and you walked out the bedroom, Brian was waiting for you with a suit and a calla flower, your favorite flower. When did he change his clothes? Why would he have your favorite flower? Oh jeez, this was very sweet.

_**"Hi, gorgeous."**_ Brian said gently, handing you the flower. _**"Please, take this humble gift from me to you and you'll make me the happiest man in the world." **_

_**"Thank you."**_ You said smiling widely while grabbing the flower. _**"Are you the guy who left the package for me?"**_

_**"I am. My name is Brian Thomas Clerk."**_ Brian said taking one of your hands to kiss it and you giggled. _**"And I guess you're called Sunny. With your yellow clothes and presence you look like the sun. It's beautiful."**_ Brian said smiling sweetly and you smiled fondly at him.

Now you finally realized why he made you wear those clothes. You wore that same dress when Brian started calling you Sunny. This was really sweet; you couldn't believe he remembered it. You wanted to hug him, but it seemed he was in a role-play and you were willing to continue it.

_**"Yes, I'm called like that, Mr. Clerk."**_ You said smiling.

_**"Please, call me Brian."**_ Brian said smiling politely. _**"May I take you by the arm?"**_ He asked as a gentleman.

_**"Of course you can, Brian."**_ You answered smiling amused and he linked his arm with yours. _**"You look very handsome, Brian."**_

_**"Do I?"**_ He asked looking at you with a sexy smile. Yes, hell, he looked really hot in that suit. _**"I just hope to be at your level, but I find it hard considering how gorgeous you are."**_

_**"Am I?"**_ You asked looking deeply into his eyes, feeling very flattered.

_**"Yes, you are. You're the most flawless woman I've ever seen."**_ Brian replied with a fond smile and with the twinkle in his green eyes. You felt even more flattered and very thrilled. He was really getting his plan of proving you wrong.

_**"Thank you very much. It's been a while since the last time someone has told me such wonderful words."**_ You confessed with a smile, looking fixedly into his eyes.

_**"Then I feel honored that I'm the man who has told you those words for the first time in a while."**_ Brian replied with a smile. Geez, he was being very sweet and sexy with that way of talking. Would he really mean all of those things or was this just part of his plan? You didn't know, but you wanted to just enjoy the moment. _**"I'd really like if you could accept my invitation to take you out for dinner. Nothing would make me happier."**_

_**"What if we just stay here?"**_ You asked awkwardly because you really didn't want Brian to spend the little money he had on a dinner with you.

_**"That would make me feel really sad. I really want to take you out for dinner." **_Brian said looking deeply into your eyes. Damn, the way he was looking at you! You couldn't say no. What was he doing to you?

_**"Okay, so just let me go for my wallet."**_ You said quickly and you tried to go, but Brian pulled you closer to him very softly, placing one hand on your waist.

_**"I'd never let a woman I like pay. This is my invitation."**_ Brian said firmly and you frowned slightly. Why was he doing this? Why did he say 'a woman I like'? He was really into his role-play.

_**"But..."**_ You started complaining.

_**"Please, accept my invitation."**_ Brian begged and you looked down and sighed.

_**"Okay." **_You agreed looking at him as he smiled brightly.

_**"You've just brought joy to me."**_ Brian said still smiling, linking his arm with yours again. _**"Now, I'll cover your eyes because I want everything to be a surprise." **_Brian said walking behind you.

"_**What? From here? What if you do it after we leave the room?" **_You asked confused.

"_**No, it must be from here."**_ Brian answered and he covered your eyes with his hands. _**"I'll lead you, don't be afraid."**_

Brian started walking you to the front door and he opened it and then he closed it. But then he uncovered your eyes and linked your arm with his. You looked at him frowning because you thought he didn't want you to see where you were going; yet you didn't say anything. He started leading you to the stairs and you walked down two floors. But then he turned around and started going up again.

_**"Why are we coming back?"**_ You asked curiously this time.

_**"We're not coming back. We're just going to the exclusive restaurant."**_ Brian replied with an amused smile, but there was a hint of sadness.

So yeah, you got what he was doing. He wanted to take you out for dinner but he was aware he didn't have the money; so he was pretending that he was taking you to a restaurant but he was actually going to take you to your dining room to have dinner; that was why he covered your eyes, so you wouldn't see what he has prepared. The hint of sadness was surely because he was aware he couldn't afford a dinner in a restaurant. And you actually didn't care where he was going to take you, you were just very touched by the things he was doing. This was probably one of the sweetest things that someone has ever done for you. Ian took you to restaurants several times, but that was absolutely nothing compared to what Brian was doing for you. And Ian was your boyfriend and Brian just your best friend; yet, what Brian was doing was even sweeter than what Ian has ever done. Brian shouldn't feel sad. What he was doing was better than taking you to a restaurant. You arrived to the door of your room.

_**"Well, Sunny, I think we've arrived."**_ Brian said with the cutest smile that you automatically smiled back.

Brian opened the door and took your hand to lead you inside. You could finally see all he has prepared. It was really wonderful. He put a cloth on the table, the lights were off and the room was lit by candles that were on the table. He put a centerpiece with a vase of your favorite flowers. The dishes, cutlery and glasses were already on the table as well as food and a bottle of wine. When you looked intently, you noticed that the candles weren't placed in random places; they spelled 'I love you'. No one ever, in your life, has done this for you. No one. You looked at Brian with teary eyes and your fondest smile.

_**"This is the most wonderful thing that someone has ever done for me, Brian."**_ You said with choked voice, still looking into his bright green eyes. Brian looked at you and he smiled sweetly.

_**"I'm really glad you like it. It's not the best restaurant, but it's cozy."**_ Brian said looking into your eyes and you shed few tears of joy.

_**"This is the best restaurant I've ever been."**_ You replied with a warm smile, kissing his cheek. _**"Thank you, Brian."**_ You whispered in his ear.

Brian led you to the table and he moved the chair so you could sit, just as a gentleman. Then he grabbed the bottle of wine and poured it on your glass. The food was already on your dish; he cooked shrimps with red curry sauce, barley risotto and roasted asparagus. The presentation of the food was simply outstanding; he seemed to be a professional chef; and he could certainly be one because he was very good at it. Then Brian sat in the chair right in front of you. You remained looking into each other's eyes for a long time. His green eyes looked particularly mesmerizing in the light of the candles; hence you couldn't stop staring his eyes all dinner long. His smile was also really charming in the light of the candles; in general his face looked really beautiful in the light of the candles. You talked about several things: deep things, funny things, random things. The only certain thing was that you didn't stop smiling not even a single time. Brian was truly adorable.

_**"I'm so sorry because the waitress forgot to bring the dessert. I guess we'll have to skip it."**_ Brian apologized because he actually couldn't cook any kind of dessert.

_**"Who cares about the dessert? This is so far the most perfect dinner I've ever had, with or without the dessert."**_ You said smiling warmly at him.

_**"Well, still, I think that a perfect dinner wouldn't be perfect without dancing a specific song." **_Brian said smiling amused, but it was a smile that actually made him look very appealing.

_**"Oh yeah?"**_ You asked amused.

_**"Yeah."**_ Brian answered amused. _**"Cannot you hear the music?"**_ Brian asked squinting, looking at you.

_**"Umm, no, not really." **_You answered with a giggle because actually there was no music on.

_**"Come on, really? Cannot you hear that?"**_ Brian asked again, with an amused smile. _**"I think this is our song."**_

_**"Our song?"**_ You asked amused because really... What was wrong with him? There was no music.

_**"Yes, listen..."**_ Brian said and he shut up for a while, and you were still no able to hear the supposed music. _**"Spend all your time waiting for that second chance, for a break that would make it okay."**_ Brian started singing with his out of tune voice.

You smiled slightly, he was never a good singer and he didn't even like to sing, so this was sweet from him. Yes, that was your and Brian's song. You remembered perfectly why that was your song. It was one of those days last year in which you were feeling really depressed for what Darren's done to you. You didn't feel like doing anything and you wanted to spend all your day locked in your bedroom, just crying and feeling really bad. Then Brian appeared in your bedroom. He climbed through the window because you had the door locked with keys. He appeared with a huge box of chocolates and a lot of movies; because he said that eating like pigs and watching silly drama movies was one of the best ways to spend a shitty day, crying and feeling miserable next to someone until it eventually gets better because you can look at the other looking like crap because of the tears and the melted chocolate in teeth. You were mad at him at first because of the way he broke in your room with no permission; but after few hours you were lying in bed together, tucked in the blankets, watching 'Life Is Beautiful', both of you crying like miserable people, eating chocolates that remained in your teeth. You remembered that after that, Brian held you in his arms while you were still crying because of the sadness you were feeling. After this, he forced you to put on the best dress you had and you put on that yellow dress you were wearing now. Then he held you in his arms and you started dancing when a song started playing, that song Brian started singing in this moment, a song that became your song. Right after that song he said...

_**"I dedicate this song to you, Sunny."**_ Brian said in this precise moment the same thing he said last year when you first heard that song. You looked at him with a fond smile. He remembered. _**"There's always one reason to feel not good enough, and it's hard at the end of the day."**_ Brian kept singing as he stood up. _**"I need some distraction, oh beautiful release memory seeps from my veins; let me be empty and weightless and maybe I'll find some peace tonight."**_ Brian kept singing while walking towards you as you were looking at him with teary eyes because of the joy. _**"May I have this dance, miss?"**_ Brian asked as a gentleman, handing you his hand.

_**"Of course."**_ You answered with a warm smile, holding his hand.

Brian placed a firm hand on your waist as you placed one hand on his shoulder, while you kept holding his hand with your other hand. Then Brian moved a little closer to you and he started dancing slow with you. He was always a remarkable dancer.

_**"In the arms of an angel, fly away from here, from this dark cold hotel room and the endlessness that you fear. You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie, you're in the arms of the angel, may you find some comfort there."**_ Brian kept singing in your ear while still slow dancing with you. There was no music, but you could hear the song somehow.

_**"So tired of the straight line and everywhere you turn, there's vultures and thieves at your back and the storm keeps on twisting. You keep on building the lie that you make up for all that you lack. It don't make no difference escaping one last time. It's easier to believe in this sweet madness, oh this glorious sadness that brings me to my knees."**_ You started singing in his ear with chocked voice as tears, inevitably, started to fall down your face.

You buried your head on his shoulder and he rested his head on yours, still holding your hand and placing the other hand firmly on your waist; as you kept slow dancing with no music in the ambient but with music in your mind.

_**"In the arms of an angel, fly away from here, from this dark cold hotel room and the endlessness that you fear. You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie."**_ You tried to keep singing with your teary voice as Brian pulled you even closer, turning the dancing position into a hug, while still moving at the rhythm of the music that wasn't playing but was there anyway.

_**"You're in the arms of the angel, may you find some comfort there." **_Brian kept singing still hugging you tightly and still dancing with you.

_**"You're in the arms of the angel, may you find some comfort here."**_ You finished singing and you literally broke into tears.

Brian held you in his arms very tightly when he stopped dancing and he kissed your head as you buried your face on his chest to keep crying. You were sad, but you were mostly thrilled, sensitive and moved. Brian was always that angel for you; you could always find comfort in his arms. Always, even in your roughest days. Brian was the guy who always comforted and supported you, the guy who showed you the way to move on when everything seemed lost. And he was still doing it. He was doing all of this because he knew how lonely and empty you were feeling; he knew you were sad and tired; he knew you were building the lie that you made up for all that you lacked as the song said. And he could still comfort you in his arms. He was truly showing you that you were loved, he really made you feel attractive, he really made you feel less lonely, and he was really showing you that you were special to him. He was really proving you wrong, he was really proving you that you didn't need a boyfriend to feel it all. Brian was the only guy that wasn't your lover that could make you feel it all.

_**"Thank you Brian, thank you for everything, for absolutely everything. Just thank you for being with me."**_ You cried on his chest.

That was the only thing you could say because you couldn't talk. Brian broke the hug to look deeply into your eyes and to caress your cheek very gently. He was looking at you in a very affectionate way and he smiled so warmly that you shed more tears of joy.

_**"Don't you dare to thank me anything, you silly."**_ Brian said with a soft chuckle and you chuckled as well.

_**"Brian?"**_ You asked looking intensely into his bright green eyes. _**"Can I cuddle and sleep with you tonight?" **_

_**"Yes, you can."**_ He answered and then he kissed your cheek smoothly while a last tear streamed down your face.

After a while, you were lying down in bed with Brian, cuddling up with him, very close to him. You remained face to face, looking into each other's eyes, while Brian was holding you in his arms and you were wrapping your arms around him. You were feeling good, for real. Even if Brian was just your best friend, it was good to know that he cared just as any boyfriend would care. You really didn't need a boyfriend; you finally understood what Brian tried to tell you. You were just happy because you had the best friend you could ever have. Like this, you fell asleep in the arms of Brian.

* * *

_**"Hey, no, Kelly, stop."**_ I whispered in front of her lips.

_**"Why?"**_ She asked trying to kiss me again.

We were at that extravagant shop Freckles took us, and I was seeing all the amazing and quirky clothes very entertained with Kelly; just fooling around and doing silly things such as trying on the weirdest clothes. Finally Kelly started being nice again, because it was being really uncomfortable the way she had been acting with her rude comments directed to Freckles. I didn't even know why she was being rude only with Freckles, but fortunately Brian could stop Kelly and made her notice she wasn't acting in a proper way. I couldn't stop Kelly, even if I wanted because I knew Freckles was feeling bad; but I couldn't because I knew how hard was for Kelly to act in a nice and polite way with someone because of what she has told me. And now we were behind an expositor and we were trying on a feather scarf until Kelly, all of a sudden, started kissing me in a very fierce way. I was really surprised by this and, like an idiot, I couldn't stop her right away because, even if I didn't want this, it's been a while since the last time someone kissed me this way and it just felt good. But no, I had to stop because I didn't want to start this vicious thing with Kelly again; because I knew how it was going to end up, and I knew we were going to start having sex daily in a very vicious way. And besides... There was Freckles. Freckles was my friend and yes, I felt very uncomfortable when she kissed me that night, but I was a bit confused about Freckles. And I just couldn't start something with Kelly and less after Freckles met her.

_**"I don't want this."**_ I replied in all honesty, pulling her softly away from me. _**"Kelly, I really don't wanna do this with you again." **_

_**"What?"**_ Kelly asked stunned.

_**"Kelly, listen, I'd be glad if we can be friends and I'd be glad if we just kick around. But I don't want to have again what we had. That part of us is over because it won't end in a good way."**_ I said honestly and Kelly looked at me frowning.

_**"Is this because of that Freckles girl? You like her, don't you? Of course you like her, she's pretty, isn't she?" **_Kelly asked suspiciously.

_**"Freckles is my ex-girlfriend."**_ I confessed and Kelly raised her eyebrows in surprise, she seemed to be astonished. _**"She is pretty and I like her, yeah. But we're just friends. So this is not about her, this is only about us and Freckles has nothing to do with this." **_

_**"So then why don't you want to be with me again? We used to have good times together, have you forgotten it?"**_ Kelly whispered sensually in front of my lips, rubbing my thigh and I pursed my lips and shivered at her touch.

_**"No, I haven't forgotten it; and yeah, we used to have good times together."**_ I replied while grabbing her hands to stop her from touching me. _**"But now it isn't the same. You've gotta find a guy who really wants to be with you and who can be able to give you something stable; a guy who can give you love, so you can ascertain that love does exist. And I'm not that guy. I can't give it to you, because I still have my own mess in my mind."**_ I said looking fixedly into her eyes. Kelly remained looking at me in silence for a long time, and then she sighed, looked down and moved away.

_**"Well, thank you for being honest, then." **_Kelly said softly and I looked at her astonished. I never thought it could be that easy to make her understand what I didn't want without sounding like an asshole. _**"We should go and find the guys. I have to apologize to your ex-girlfriend for being so rude..."**_ Kelly said still looking down and I looked at her even more astonished. Was she really thinking about apologizing to someone? Then she looked at me again. _**"I'm sorry, Darren. I didn't know she was your ex and I was just... jealous because she's pretty, funny and smart and I'm just a disaster. I thought you liked her instead me."**_ Kelly confessed as I was still looking at her amazed. I was speechless. _**"And you're right... Maybe it's time for me to find a guy who is willing to give me what I was trying to avoid all this time. I don't know."**_ Kelly whispered looking down and I knew she was having troubles to admit this because it was something private.

_**"Yes, you should. You'll see that you'll find a guy."**_ I said smiling friendly at her.

_**"I hope so." **_Kelly answered shrugging and then she looked up again. _**"And what about you? Don't you want to find a girl?"**_

_**"I..."**_ I started babbling uncomfortable. I didn't have the answer for that. _**"I really don't know."**_ I answered in all honesty. _**"I still don't want to have anything serious with anyone. I want to find a girl, but only... you know, I'm a guy and sometimes I have urges... So, I just want to find a girl with who I can just have a good time without getting attached. I can't get there yet."**_ I answered looking down, biting my lips. _**"And I'll never do it with you again because before I wasn't interested in being your friend. But now that you've been honest with me, I'd like to be your friend, so we cannot do it again."**_ I said frankly, looking at her again. She smiled at me faintly.

_**"Then I guess you'll find a girl like that, eventually."**_ Kelly said shrugging. _**"Haven't you ever thought about getting back with your ex?"**_ She asked curiously.

_**"Uh, yeah... Yes, I have."**_ I replied honestly and Kelly nodded looking away. _**"But I don't want it now. I just want to be her friend, we've talked about this and we agreed this was the best for us."**_

_**"Really? That's weird."**_ Kelly exclaimed frowning and thoughtful.

_**"Why?"**_ I asked intrigued.

_**"Because I could really notice that your ex was interested in you. I think she still likes you... But I must be wrong."**_ Kelly answered shrugging.

_**"Yeah, maybe you're wrong..."**_ I whispered frowning and looking down.

Truth was Kelly left me thinking. What if Freckles liked me not just as a friend? After all, she kissed me the other night. Yeah, she apologized and she told me why she'd done it... But still... What if Freckles still felt something more for me? I really liked Freckles and she was this special girl to me, and I was thinking about her almost all the time... But I didn't feel good when she kissed me. I just didn't know what I really wanted, I was a mess. And if I was a mess, I couldn't be with Freckles again because everything will end up in a shitty way because of my confusion. But... What if? I could never fall in love again since Freckles and I was starting to think I was never going to get there. No girl could ever mean to me what Freckles meant to me. I just needed to stop thinking about this and just see what would happen. Kelly and I returned to where the guys were, but Freckles and Brian weren't there. Maybe they were looking something in this huge store.

_**"Finally, Darren! We've been looking for you for hours!"**_ Chuck exclaimed a bit moody.

_**"Sorry, we were just fooling around." **_I replied and I looked around to see where Freckles and Brian could be, but I didn't see them. _**"Where are Freckles and Brian?"**_

_**"They left about an hour ago."**_ Joey answered shrugging, looking away.

_**"Where did they go? Are they gonna come back any soon? I'm starving."**_ I said while I noticed my stomach growling.

_**"They won't come. They returned to their room."**_ Chuck answered. _**"Freckles has an assignment to do due tomorrow." **_

_**"An assignment to do due tomorrow?" **_I asked frowning in suspicion. _**"That's weird because we share the same course we have tomorrow that is Costume Design and we didn't have any assignment."**_

_**"Well, that is what she has told us, buddy." **_Joey answered shrugging again.

This wasn't true. I knew Freckles didn't have any assignment to do. She left for other reasons, I knew it. Could it have been because of the way Kelly was treating her? And why would she leave without greeting me? That was rude from her and Brian. I was feeling a bit upset about this. Then my phone buzzed. Could it be Freckles?

**"Twinkle, twinkle little cat, seeing where the moon is at. Where are you at tonight? Twinkle, twinkle little asshole, trying to get things work along. Did you know that you're alone? Twinkle, twinkle little slutty, you're so unlucky. Clerk is your girl's fuck buddy. Twinkle, twinkle little jackass, how does it feel to know he is fucking her ass? The secret of your girl and Clerk's relationship has been revealed. You're welcome, Criss. -W-"**


	50. Special to someone

A/N: Hi guys! How are you today? Surprised that I updated earlier? Well, that's because I won't be able to update on Friday, Saturday or Sunday, because this girl over here has a lot of parties to attend. I'm not one of those who like partying a lot, but this is about my friends' birthdays. Anyway, I won't bore you with this stuff. It was super weird for me not to have updated last Saturday! How was it for you? Did you miss me? haha. Okay, now... I was thinking and thinking... I think that I'll start writing longer chapters because this story is already having too many chapters and I still want to write about the professional life and if I keep writing like this, it'll come a point in which all of you will get bored because you'd be wondering... When the hell will this story end? Or... When the hell will I be able to read the happy ending? So yeah, that's it. I decided I will try to write longer chapters so you won't have to wait so much to read the end of this story. That will be from Chapter 56. Let's see if it works! Then... This story already has 50 chapters! Who would think that? 50! It's a big deal, I guess. Well, I never thought, in my entire life, that I'd write such a long story. Now, I will shut up and I'll start replying your reviews!

alicegursk: Oh, oh! The shit is not over and it won't be any soon; yet, you don't have to worry too much because W will appear only occasionally, I think so. Yes! Please become a cop! I want you to go all Frank Serpico and get their asses in the jail! 'Do not move, I'm the sheriff Serpico and you're in troubles!'. Okay, I guess I'm not good at impressions, let Sam do it for me. Why do you say that the thing you think isn't true at all? Come on, what was it about? Listen, the next chapter (not this one) is dedicated to you; I literally wrote it thinking about you, you'll figure out why. So, I was super nice, don't you think? So should you, and tell me what you thought! More now that you think it isn't true at all. Am I bothering you too much? I think you chose me as your wife precisely for that, because I'm cruel, insane and devilish, but I can be cute sometimes; that's the same reason why we get along! Because you can be insane too! Let the insane people be united! That should be our motto. That's right, we're gonna be together at the end! You kick in your sleep? Well, I bite in my sleep! So don't be scared if you suddenly feel someone biting your arm. Okay, no, I don't bite, but I do kick too. It'll be a kick war! While sleeping! Now, how awesome is that? See? We're cool people, Alice! Workaholic! haha, that was so good! I need rehab! It's not that I completely love that, but yeah, I'm kind of obsessive when it comes to college; I'm totally nerd and I want everything to be perfect. Muahaha! Darren and Freckles will get back together? Maybe, or maybe not. I'm just kidding, I can't let that love die, no matter how damn slow they are to get there! I'm definitely adding Alicino to the story sometime, you'll see. No Brian, no Kelly? We'll see what happens with them... What about new people appearing? Uh!

xShatteredCriss: I don't know if you'll be reading this, because you actually commented the first chapter and I don't know if you're still reading the story! Anyway, just in case you read this, first off, I wanted to thank you for reading and reviewing the story! It's always nice to know that people like my story. Then, I sent you a private message answering your question! I was super surprised by that question and I must admit that I felt flattered somehow. So, check your private messages!

Zahra Ayoub: Hidden cameras! Jeez, Zahra! Has anyone ever told you that you're clever? Maybe it is something like that, or maybe it is something different. But it was a good question. How would W know that? Now about what Brian told Freckles. I think Freckles claims to be very self-confident now, but I think she's still very insecure, otherwise she will never think that she needs a boyfriend to feel loved and special and she wouldn't need Brian to remind her that. Exactly! The love of friends and family is very rewarding and most of the time we underrate it, when it actually should be one of the most treasured loves. The prince will come eventually; we shouldn't suffer in the waiting because it just isn't worth it. I like what you said, I'll quote you now: 'We came to the world to suffer and to be strong'. Yes, we'll never know what is it to be strong if we don't struggle with things in life; like we'll never appreciate and love things if we don't do any kind of effort in life, if we don't suffer and overcome things while learning new things. It seems like a paradox, but that's the sense of life, it is part of growing up. Yes, it'd be nice if nobody suffers and it'd be nice if sad things never happen. But, think about this, we go through bad things in our lives and we won't wish that to happen to anybody, therefore when we see someone suffering for something we suffered, then we'll help them; and that's great; there are always good things in bad things, we need to learn to notice them. Yet, I still think that there are a lot of bad things that shouldn't be happening; but I don't wanna keep boring you with my theories and things! haha. So, I agree with that thing of Kelly, but I'll say that she is still learning. Darren and Freckles, they both are gonna screw things up, because they're figuring out new things of life and we always screw things up while learning; actually we need to screw things up, fail and keep trying to learn something for real. However, Darren is gonna be happy, it's a promise. You didn't get a new chapter last Saturday, but you got this new one earlier than usual! So, did you finish your exams? How were them? Hopefully your answer will be positive! I'm pretty sure you did your best! As for me, I got very good results in them! So I'm super glad and practically jumping for joy! Now I have a very hard exam on July 22 and another one in September; after that, I'll have to wait till February to finally get my degree, hopefully! And thank you! I'm not really an A girl; only in the part of design and history, but not in other subjects like structural calculation, I suck at it! haha; but it is because I don't like it. But as you said, I love what I do, so I want to do my best; as I suppose you also do! :) I heard that Egypt's security forces moved to arrest leaders of the Muslim Brotherhood that had supported deposed leader Mohamed Morsy; I've even seen pictures. Is everything okay now? We'll definitely find a place to live in peace! I'm still not sure where, though; it seems that the entire world is a real chaos right now, sadly. Those are the sad things that I was talking about, there's too much unjustified violence and injustices; people don't respect other people, and almost always the rich take advantage of the less advantaged, and argh! Just leave it there, it just frustrates me. Don't worry about talking too much, because I really enjoy talking to you! And yes, you should come and I'll show a lot of beautiful landscapes we have and I'll be like your tour guide! I love travelling, so I should also go to Egypt! Yes, I'd love that! Then, after visiting a lot of great places, we can run away from our countries and find our place in the world! That would be nice!

Vcriss: That's right! W has no life, it must be really sad to be W; always thinking about doing something cruel to hurt other people because they have nothing to do with their own lives; it must be exhausting and too sad to be W. I didn't think about that point of view. Aww! Imagine mini Darren! Or mini Darren-Freckles. Yes, I don't know why he doesn't want to admit the fact that his destiny is to marry Freckles, and something tells me that it'll take him a while, but at the end, perhaps, it's gonna be worth it. So you went to the concert in Philly? How was it? Tell me! I'm sure you had a blast and I'm sure it was awesome! Did you like the new songs? I always thought Darren is straight; he only plays a gay character. And whoa! The story you told me! I don't know why, but I think that in these times all the guys are like that; like they only want to be with women to have sexual intercourse and they seem unable to love them. I don't know why, it's like they have this stupid thing about thinking that the more they get laid with girls, the manlier they are. Of course not all of them are like that, I don't wanna judge them all, but... I say this because I have a lot of male friends and some of them confessed this. I guess that's fine as long as they don't hurt other people's feelings. So, I'd say that Darren is just a guy, one more. What I think is totally wrong, as I see it, is the fact that he cheated on Mia, if the story that your cousin told you it's true. It's awful cheat on someone. But, I don't know what his reasons were, I don't know what his situation was, I don't know how he is in real life and in his private life when the media isn't around, and I don't know anything; so I'm not one to judge. It is his life, after all, and we all are free to do what we want, always respecting the people around us. However, I'm surprised by the story you told me! I think I prefer the 'imaginary' Darren we create and idealize in our minds. That's why sometimes I think I wouldn't like to meet him for real. Am I too weird? haha. Okay, okay, I'll stop boring you! Jeez, I talk too much!

amritsoomal: W will appear occasionally! I think it wouldn't be so cool to get a lot of shit from those assholes! Hasn't W already done enough? Like, it seems it'll never stop and it can be kind of frustrating. I'll steal the Nutella when you're distracted, I'll eat it all, and then I'll fill it with other food so you'll never suspect that someone touched the Nutella. Oh wait! Why am I telling you my plans? Damn! Now I'll have to think about a second plan. Oh, I'm just waiting for the perfect moment when they get together again; something special needs to happen for that and first they have to go through a lot of drama. My granny once told me: Patience is a virtue. I don't wanna sound like my granny (I actually hated whenever she said it, because it meant I had to wait to get my candies), but well, they say old people are the wisest. But, do you believe in happy endings? Because I do, and I think I told you this a time ago. Oh! It's too bad because I'm currently writing chapter 58 and I didn't make Chuck stay! But, when Chuck returns is gonna be good, I think. Brian with Kelly? I didn't think about that option; we'll see. Joey to marry Mandy? Well, he still needs to know her! But it could be a nice option, I like that. Darren to stay with Freckles forever? What if we add some babies? And grandchildren? ;). W to piss off? No way! W will go to hell and burn there, is that a better option? You're very welcome! Now, because you seemed to be very happy because I dedicated that chapter to you, I'll ask you what you'd want to read and I'll add that to one chapter and dedicate it to you. Like, for example, someone asked me to add 'Come what may' song, other person asked me to write about Darren auditioning for Glee, other person asked me to write about Harry Potter references; so, what would you want me to add in one chapter in the future? I don't do it too often, so you should feel lucky! haha. Oh my god! haha were you really singing Days of summer in your head? That's so funny! Once it happened to me something similar! Of course I failed in that exam. I know! I noticed there wasn't enough Darren after I posted the chapter! That's such a shame! I'll definitely get you a Brian, so you'll be able to hug your little fat baby panda every day! That was so cute! I want to have a fat baby panda!

MeMi83: What is going to happen now? That's a good question! I think the answer will be something like: Suspicion, doubts, insecurities. People talk about physical and verbal violence; I think W applies psychological violence. I know, Brian is really sweet; he's actually inspired in someone I know. But yes, maybe he's only sweet with Freckles because he has feelings for her, so everything he does, does it for her. And I like what you said, Freckles deserves to feel loved and special, even if it comes from her best friend, and even if it's for a little amount of time. And yes, so does Brian! The poor guy has suffered a lot, sometimes I feel cruel for writing all of those things that happened (and will happen) to him. Something will happen and Brian will feel truly happy, eventually, at least for a little amount of time, but I won't say what kind of thing will happen, otherwise it wouldn't be a surprise! And yes, Freckles doesn't notice his feelings and she doesn't give him the chance to tell her; but Brian is also wrong, because he isn't brave enough to finally spit it out; ah! If only you knew since when he's hiding his feelings! It's not cool. Darren definitely needs to get his feelings figured out, and someone will help him. Isn't it really awful when we feel everything is a mess? It always makes me feel happy when you say you like reading the story and that you look forward to the next update! Lately not only I've been busy, but I've been feeling like I should rush things in the story because it is getting not interesting and I feel like you might be tired of reading all of these ups and downs and comings and goings between Darren and Freckles. So, I kinda needed to read something as what you said. So thanks for that! Oh! It would be really, but really cool to insert some kind of card to insert more knowledge to our brains! I understand your occasional moods of wanting to devour knowledge, it happens to me too sometimes and I think it's a good thing. In these times, it seems that the most important things are the superficial ones and now it seems that things like knowledge are underrated and not important; which is such a shame; because I've always been one of those people who think that knowledge and things that involve our minds and hearts are what will remain in us forever; our appearance will change throughout years, it's something like fleeting, unlike our knowledge. I never went to an open mic night! Unfortunately, here's not so usual; the usual is to go, get drunk, make out with someone and dance all night long; and I hate that concept of 'fun', reason why I don't like so much to go to night clubs and I prefer to go to someone's place and play board games, watch movies, eat, and sing and play guitar (of course the person who plays the guitar is not me!). Your family goes crazy with your singing? I have a pretty weird family; when I start singing my lungs out (out of tune because I'm a terrible singer), they join me and for some hours we pretend to be some kind of rock stars performing for an audience. It's pretty funny! Stay busy! Being lazy and doing nothing is not pleasant; sometimes it seems it is, but it is not; sometimes doing nothing stresses you out more than if you were really busy; I read it somewhere! As long as you enjoy doing the things that keep you busy it is gonna be good! I'll remember to always smile! Sending you warm fuzzies, energy and positive vibes! I'll probably be around twitter after July 22, when I finish my exams, so I'll tweet you and we can talk more! :)

Adorkable Sherlock: Hello to you, my cheeky friend! You finished school! Oh, hurrah for that! Goodbye homework, goodbye exams, goodbye boring classes! Welcome to vacations! Or to sound more British, holidays! Oh please, if I were you and if I were on vacation, I'll not wake up till 11am because I'd stay up till 5am, just procrastinating, watching movies or TV shows, and trolling the internet! So, you have a good reason not to comment in the mornings; you'd be crazy if you do so. You started watching Game of Thrones! Isn't it amazing? It's really good! Jaime Lannister? Really? Well, he is indeed super-hot, he's handsome as shit... But... really? Okay, I won't say anything. Yes! When I read your review, I started watching Once Upon a Time when I promised not to watch another TV show because I get all addictive (it's worse than drugs!) and obsessive and I do not have so much spare time. But... I did it. And I couldn't stop watching. And I stopped doing obligations for college only to watch it. And I had to lie (a little white lie) to my work group telling them that I wasn't feeling good and I was going to work from home only to watch it. And I finished watching the entire 2 seasons in three days. Go figure. It is totally awesome! You have no idea how much I loved it! Oh, I do have theories, though my theories must be kinda dumb, unsound and inconsistent. But Henry is the grandson of the Prince Charming and Snow, he is son of the savior and Baelfire and not content with this, he is also Rumple's grandson. Doesn't it say something? The kid is Harry Potter! Okay, no, bad joke, totally lame and bad joke. But seriously, the kid must have some kind of power; after all, he was the one who made possible for the curse to end, he found out who was each character in the real life, he made his own mother believe in the fairy tale! And a lot of things. Well, I just read that you also wrote about being the son of, the grandson of, the adoptive child of... I should read everything before writing! I don't think Henry is gonna be evil (please, no!), I think they want him because he has something special that could be very helpful for what they want. Who exactly wants him? Maybe they need someone like him as they needed the real Peter Pan (because I also think that's a shadow who took over his body, Peter Pan is not evil!), they need a body of someone who is important, who has some kind of power, or one powerful virtue. I loved Hook, I totally fell in love with Hook; I actually wanted Emma to get with Hook. Gosh, he's so hot and so fucking sexy! And I couldn't believe that I fell for Hook! Hook! What shit is that? My mind was struggling: I want to be with Hook because he's such a hottie vs. No! He's Hook and Hook is an asshole; but Hook seems to have some kind of nice side and at the same time is so badass vs. Hook is a conceited and selfish guy! Troubles, my mind was like blowing up. Prince Charming is really sexy, but I do prefer guys with dark hair, yet he is a good prince charming. And Pinocchio, mother of god! Who would think that Pinocchio could be that hot? I almost cried when he turned into a little boy again! Why, I wanted to get more August to my delight! Oh yeah, technical drawing, tell me about that. I always have to make technical drawings, always, always, always. I'm an expert when it comes to that. Let's name it: Darren, the king of the pyramid located in Pigfarts. How did the pyramid get to Pigfarts? That motherfucker got a rocketship! It's so sad to know that a damn pyramid got a rocketship and I'm still trying to fit in my rocketship drawing. I still didn't find the magical formula to get into a paper and live in a paper world, but I will, I will! Okay, I think I'm rambling too much. I think I teased too much in the last chapter! Ha! I love teasing, my Sherlock. Of course they weren't going to have sex, nobody would like to read Freckles and Brian having sex and I really don't wanna be killed for doing something like that because I'm still young, though you think I'm an old woman with wrinkles, shaky hands, gray hair and who needs a stick to survive. Fuck buddies, that's one of the worst things you can propose to someone who is in love with you, or even to a friend... I just don't believe in that thing of fuck buddies, just as Brian. Yes, he's sweet and very caring; but he's also kind of a coward! How can he hide his feelings? Well, won't say anything! I can't believe you ship him with Freckles, you may be the only one who does that, so I'm surprised, my Sherlock! And... Everybody dies in Game of Thrones. And... Have I said I like Game of Thrones? Well, to write, I'm always inspired by movies, books and TV shows, draw your own conclusions, my Sherlock, you're good at it, aren't you? How you dare to compare me to Theon! How?! I'm cruel, but I'm not that heartless bitch! Don't worry if your comments are not long! Talk-comment-exchange opinions-be random... All of that work for us; that's great because I can talk about everything and since we both love talking, that's a cool thing, don't you think? I am faithful to Darren, but I really love Hook; so I'll propose Darren a threesome, so your gift is very welcome! I'll send you Pinocchio and Chris; you can have fun with both of them. So, don't waste your time, okay? Okay, my dear Sherlock, I guess we will be talking soon! Lots of love and magic. But remember, all magic comes with a price! (Picture me doing that thing with the fingers!)

Okay lovely people, that was it all. Thank you a lot for the reviews! I hope you can enjoy this new chapter! Someone new will appear in this chapter! Who will be that person? Now, I wish you can have a totally awesome week and I hope you receive tons of hugs and smiles! Warm fuzzies and till two Saturdays!

* * *

**Teenage Dream – Chapter 50 – Special to someone.**

* * *

That was the first time W has texted me since high school. What was the purpose now? Because, as far as I knew, W returned because Brian was digging in the past. But then, why would W send me a text saying that Brian and Freckles were fuck buddies? What was the point of that? And were Brian and Freckles fuck buddies? I always thought their relationship was weird but I never thought they could be fuck buddies. Brian always acted weird around Freckles, but they were best friends. There was no way they could be fuck buddies. No way. Or yes? What if they were? It wasn't something of my business, but still, I needed to know if it was true. I wouldn't like to know they were. They were free to be that, but I wouldn't like it. Freckles and Brian... No way. I mean, Freckles could be with the guy she wanted; but not with Brian. It just didn't seem right. This wasn't because I couldn't stand Brian; no, he was a cool guy and he was my friend now. But he just couldn't be with Freckles. Was I jealous? No, jealousy wasn't the word. Just... Shit!

_**"Hey pal, what's up? You seem to be thoughtful."**_ Joey asked when we already returned to our apartment, after accompanying Chuck to the airport.

_**"Do you think that Freckles and Brian are fuck buddies?"**_ I asked curiously. I needed to get second opinions about this.

_**"Uh... no?"**_ Joey answered frowning, looking at me as if I were crazy. _**"Why are you even thinking about it?" **_

_**"I don't know, their relationship is weird and I thought that maybe they could be fuck buddies. Really, what do you think?"**_ I asked insistently.

_**"I think... they're best friends." **_Joey answered still looking at me as if I were crazy. But then he looked away.

_**"You're lying. You know something else... Tell me what you know, Richter!"**_ I demanded very loudly in a bossy way.

_**"I don't know anything! You look like a madman, so chill out! You shouldn't be thinking about it, buddy. It's none of your business now." **_Joey said lying in bed, ready to sleep.

_**"Actually, it's something of my business!"**_ I exclaimed annoyed.

_**"Tell me why."**_ Joey asked raising an eyebrow.

_**"Because... Just because."**_ I answered chugging and frowning. _**"Tell me the truth; do you think they're fuck buddies?" **_

_**"I've told you already. I think they're best friends. Cannot Freckles have a male best friend that you have to think they're fuck buddies?"**_ Joey asked in disbelief.

_**"But their relationship is really weird! Haven't you noticed the way Brian acts around Freckles? I think there's something more."**_ I said thoughtful.

_**"Well, yeah, maybe Brian acts in a weird way around Freckles. Maybe that's the way he is with his best friends. I don't know, dude."**_ Joey said burying his face on the pillow. _**"Maybe they're fuck buddies. And if they are, there's nothing you can do about. They're free to do whatever they want. After all, Freckles is sexy and so is Brian, they live together and they are single; they could perfectly be fuck buddies and that is not a problem. Or maybe they're just best friends. You shouldn't mess in their relationship, bud; just as Freckles doesn't mess in your relationship with Kelly. By the way, Kelly was a real damn bitch around Freckles, next time don't bring her."**_ Joey said upset.

_**"I'm not intending to mess in their relationship..."**_ I said looking away and frowning. _**"And yeah, I won't bring Kelly again when Freckles is around."**_ I said and I remained silent for a while. _**"Do you think Brian is in love with Freckles?"**_ I asked intrigued.

_**"I don't know, man! Stop asking that shit and let me sleep."**_ Joey grumbled.

_**"What if Brian is in love with her?"**_ I asked frowning, feeling disturbed by the thought.

_**"Again, it's none of your business. Freckles is a cool girl, Brian is a cool guy; they will be fine together, I don't know."**_ Joey answered lazily, still burying his face on the pillow.

_**"They won't be fine together."**_ I said bitterly, feeling annoyed and upset with no reasons.

_**"Why are you even saying that? Freckles is not your girlfriend anymore, Darren. And you have the stupid of Kelly and you even brought her when Freckles was around. I thought you and Freckles agreed to be just friends; so let her live her life and date whoever she wants; just as you date whoever you want. If Freckles and Brian start dating, you should feel glad because at least Freckles isn't dating an asshole."**_ Joey said now irritated._** "Shut up now and let me sleep." **_

_**"Well yeah, Freckles can date whoever she wants. But not Brian. No way. Not Brian."**_ I said again disturbed by the thought.

_**"Why not?"**_ Joey asked incredulous. Yeah, I knew he and Brian were now like bros and he was very fond to Freckles as a friend, so he maybe didn't like what I was saying.

_**"Because no... I guess I'd never stand seeing Freckles dating someone I know, even if I know the person isn't an asshole. I just can't..." **_I whispered frowning, deep in thought. _**"And this doesn't mean that I'm still in love with her. No." **_

_**"You should record your words, so you'll notice you sound as if you were indeed still in love with her and that's not good. Not if what you're trying to do is to be her friend. If you feel something for her, be honest with her or everything will end up like shit, buddy."**_ Joey said quietly. _**"And if you don't feel anything for her, just stop doing this crap and asking things; and just let her be happy with Brian or any other guy. Now shut up, I don't wanna hear your voice again."**_

_**"Okay, I'll just... Go to my bedroom and get some sleep."**_ I said while thinking about what Joey just said.

_**"Cool."**_ Joey said with a muffled sound.

_**"So, do you think...?"**_ I started asking again, but Joey interrupted me.

_**"Go away, Criss, or I'll rip and eat your pillow!"**_ Joey exclaimed.

_**"You tough son of a bitch!"**_ I exclaimed in a very exaggeratedly way and then I laughed softly.

I left Joey's bedroom and I walked to mine. I took off my clothes and I lay down in bed, tucking myself with the blankets and burying my face in the pillow. I tried to sleep, but Brian and Freckles wouldn't stop popping up in my mind. I really didn't want them together. You could call me selfish, but I didn't care; it wasn't about selfishness. Just... No.

* * *

Next day you woke up feeling very warm and comfortable. You were still drowsy and sleepy and you couldn't really open your eyes. You pulled the blankets to your head and you hugged the pillow and cuddled with it. You smelled a very pleasant perfume in the pillow and the vanilla scent of the ambient; and you could also smell very lightly the typical smell of toasts. You were feeling very warm in this cold autumn day; you were feeling very comfortable cuddling with the pillow and wrapped in blankets while hearing the raindrops hitting the window. There was nothing better than being like this in a cold rainy day. You finally opened your eyes very slowly and you noticed you were in Brian's bed, hugging his pillow, smelling his perfume; but Brian wasn't in bed. Maybe he was already awake and he was studying. You knew you had to get up, but you didn't want; you didn't even want to go to class, this was a perfect day to be lazy and just be like this, in bed, wrapped in blankets. You hugged Brian's pillow again and buried your face in it to smell the delectable perfume; and you smiled pleasantly. With your eyes closed again and hugging tightly Brian's pillow, you started thinking about all the sweet things Brian has done last night, therefore you smiled even more pleasantly. It's been a while since the last time you felt really in peace and very relaxed and just lively; like you thought that nothing could ruin your mood. Brian was such a sweetheart and romantic guy, and there weren't so many guys like him. If he did all of he has done for his best friend, you couldn't imagine all the things he would do for his lover. You just loved him so much and you were sure his lover would be the luckiest girl and would love him just as much. You, without thinking, kissed the pillow while smelling his perfume. Oh damn! What were you doing? This was pathetic, so you laughed softly at yourself for being so pathetic.

_**"Good morning, sleepyhead."**_ You heard Brian's deep voice.

You opened your eyes slowly with a nice smile and finally saw Brian. He was in the door, holding a tray with coffee for two, orange juice, a bowl with toasts and two plates of pancakes. You smiled brightly when you saw Brian with that tray. He was looking very handsome, despite his disheveled hair and the sweatpants and the loose hoodie he was wearing.

_**"Breakfast in bed?"**_ You asked joyfully, with an amused and bright smile.

_**"Breakfast in bed."**_ Brian accentuated with a wide smile, walking to the bed.

Then he left the tray on the nightstand and crouched to grab the lapdawg that was next to the nightstand. Then he looked at you again and his gaze stopped in the pillow, making him smile amused.

_**"I guess you found a new lover."**_ He said while opening the lapdawg and placing it above you; and you chuckled amused.

_**"I did! It's the best lover ever!"**_ You said still chuckling and Brian giggled while shaking his head.

_**"I'm jealous."**_ He said jokingly while he grabbed the tray with breakfast and placed it on the lapdawg. _**"Would you mind if I replace your beloved lover for a few minutes so I can lie down in bed next to you to have breakfast?"**_

_**"Of course not. My lover isn't jealous."**_ You answered laughing while you placed the pillow in your head and you sat in bed. Brian smiled and sat next to you. _**"Good morning, by the way."**_ You said joyfully and leaned over to kiss his cheek softly.

_**"I guess someone woke up in a very good mood today."**_ Brian said looking into your eyes with an amused smile.

_**"After all you've done yesterday? Duh!"**_ You replied in all honesty and Brian smiled even more widely. _**"And breakfast in bed wins all the awards."**_ You said while grabbing the cup of coffee. You moved it to your nose so you could smell the pleasant smell of coffee, one of your favorite smells. _**"Hmm, cinnamon."**_

_**"You got that right."**_ Brian said smiling while grabbing his cup of coffee. _**"Did you sleep well?"**_

_**"Yes, I did. Thanks for letting me sleep with you."**_ You said kindly, looking at him while taking a sip of your coffee. _**"What about you?"**_

_**"Well... apart from the kicks I received, the snores and mumbles; I did sleep very well and warmly."**_ Brian said laughing and you looked at him raising your eyebrows and mouth-opened.

_**"I do not snore and kick, Clerk!"**_ You exclaimed loudly.

_**"Oh yeah, you do. But it is fine; actually it was like an adventurous sleep. You don't get it too often."**_ Brian said jokingly while laughing.

_**"You could have lied! You could have been sweeter, you know?"**_ You exclaimed loudly, but now laughing.

_**"Do you want me to lie? Well, Sunny, you slept like a mummy."**_ Brian said amused and you nudged him.

_**"Well, not like a mummy! Brian!"**_ You exclaimed pouting and frowning, amused.

_**"What is the right thing to say? Gosh, I didn't know it was so hard to please you!"**_ Brian exclaimed giggling.

_**"Just shut up."**_ You said frowning and smiling amused. _**"So, why breakfast in bed?"**_ You asked looking at him, but he didn't answer. He took a sip of his coffee and started eating his pancake. Then he looked at you and took another sip of his coffee. _**"Brian? Are you planning to answer me or not?"**_ You asked looking at him. But he didn't answer and he kept eating his pancake. _**"Brian..."**_

Brian looked at you but he didn't answer. You looked at him frowning, suspiciously. Then he held one of your hands and he started writing words in your hand with his finger. You laughed while he was doing this. He wrote in your hand 'You told me to shut up. I can't talk'. You looked at him really amused, you laughed out loud and shook your head.

_**"You're so silly, Brian!"**_ You said still laughing and he smiled amused. _**"You can talk again, you have my permission." **_

_**"Thanks God! It was really hard to be so silent!"**_ Brian exclaimed in an exaggerated way.

_**"Oh, come on! They were only a few minutes! You drama king."**_ You said giggling.

Brian and you kept joking and laughing during the breakfast. It seemed that Brian was also in a very good mood today and that was amazing. Since you found out about his problems and his dad's health situation, he hasn't laughed and joked this much; yes, he was always nice and cheery, but not as much as this, like so lively. Suddenly the sadness for being lonely that you were feeling last night, seemed to be a distant feeling that you didn't even think about it. Yes, maybe you didn't have a boyfriend or a guy you could kiss, but you had Brian, your best friend who was far more worth than gold.

_**"Alright... Listen to me..."**_ Brian said while he took his last sip of coffee. _**"I have plans for today, but I'll have to take you to the dark side and make you skip your courses today."**_ Brian said looking fixedly at you.

You raised your eyebrows in surprise, amused. Was Brian really telling you that you had to skip your courses? What about him? He never skipped a course; he was very dedicated when it came to college.

_**"Okay, I don't know if I should be freaking out because you're gonna take me to the dark side, or if I should feel excited because you already have plans for this cold rainy day."**_ You said amused and your comment made Brian smile.

_**"Maybe you should be freaking out because I'm a terrible and outrageous guy."**_ Brian said with a mischievous smile, looking at you in a wicked way. You couldn't help laughing out loud.

_**"Please, Brian... You? A terrible and outrageous guy? That's absurd! Even your wicked look looks like a nice and sweet look! Keep on trying, darling."**_ You said mockingly, running your fingers through his hair, still laughing.

_**"That's a really rude and mean comment, Sunny! Now, instead of telling you my plans, I'll leave you here, locked in the bedroom that you won't even be able to go to the bathroom to pee."**_ Brian said with an amused smile, but looking at you in the same wicked and mischievous way.

_**"Okay, that's mean, Brian! That's so very cruel! You're a terrible and outrageous guy! Now I'm freaking out!"**_ You exclaimed in a very theatrical way and Brian started laughing.

_**"Alright, now that you admitted it, I can be nice again... But still, you should be freaking out." **_Brian said giggling and you looked at him amused. _**"Point is... Are you willing to skip your courses to have a different kind of day today?"**_

_**"Umm... I'm not sure..."**_ You started pretending that you didn't want it.

But truth was you were intrigued to know what Brian had in mind. Besides, you really weren't feeling like going to class with this rainy weather. And also, judging by what Brian has been doing lately, you were really excited to do something with him; you needed to spend more free time with him; because, even though you lived together, both you and Brian were busy all the time studying or spending time with other friends such as Darren, Joey or Meredith; so this was a good excuse to spend time only with your best friend. You looked at Brian and he was frowning, apparently he believed you didn't want to do it.

_**"Okay, it's up to you. I won't force you; maybe we could leave it for another time."**_ Brian said and you thought this was very sweet from him that you couldn't keep pretending.

_**"I'm joking, silly!"**_ You said chuckling and nudging him softly. _**"Of course I'm willing to skip my courses! Now tell me! Tell me your plans!" **_

_**"You know what? I'll make up for all the times you didn't want to tell me your secret plans, so I won't tell you anything at all. It'll be just a surprise!"**_ Brian exclaimed mischievously as you looked at him open-mouthed and raising your eyebrows.

_**"What a vengeful person!"**_ You exclaimed incredulous and Brian chuckled amused.

_**"Now you'll know the horrible feeling of not knowing what you're gonna do!"**_ Brian said mischievously. _**"To my plans, you have to wear those clothes that are right there on your bed. I'll give you time to change and, in the meantime, I'll change in the bathroom and clean this thing up."**_ Brian said pointing the tray. _**"Okay?"**_

_**"Okay!"**_ You exclaimed cheerfully. _**"I'm excited!"**_ You exclaimed while bouncing in the bed.

Brian burst out laughing and he grabbed the tray and walked to the door to leave the bedroom, closing the door behind him. You lay down in bed again, hugging Brian's pillow while smiling joyfully, feeling really happy and amused. This was for sure a good way to wake up. After a while, you finally got up and walked to your bed to see what clothes Brian picked for you to wear. Well, he had a good sense for fashion; of course, after all that Mandy taught you and him. It was simple black jeans, a white t-shirt and a long colorful striped pullover sweater. You started dressing and you also put on a pair of earrings. You looked in the mirror that was still on the nightstand and you put on a little make-up in your eyes and lips. You didn't even know why you were trying to freshen yourself up, but you were feeling like you wanted to look pretty and beautiful. You brushed your hair and then you looked in the mirror again to check if you looked well. After a while, Brian knocked the door and you walked to open it. You saw him and you noticed he looked really well, only with simple dark blue jeans and a striped green and white pullover sweater that matched with his eyes.

_**"Are you ready?"**_ Brian asked with a bright smile.

_**"I am."**_ You answered smiling enthusiastically.

_**"Alright, we're gonna go downtown; but it's raining like crazy, so maybe we should use a sort of a teleporter, that way we won't get wet." **_Brian said and you looked at him amused, raising an eyebrow. You loved when he was this silly.

_**"A teleporter, eh? Is that a new way to call a bus or a cab?"**_ You asked amused.

_**"Of course not. This is a real teleporter in which I've been working on the last few months. Now finally we're gonna use it."**_ Brian said with a saucy smile and you chuckled softly._** "I don't know why you're laughing. This is a very important discovery."**_

_**"Not laughing! I'm just too excited to see that teleporter!"**_ You said trying to prevent your laughter. _**"But, haven't you tried it before? What if it doesn't work? What if we end up in a place we didn't want to go? What if we end up stuck inside the teleporter?"**_

_**"So many questions! We'll have to take the risk. Don't you like doing new, risky and adventurous things? This is your one chance!"**_ Brian exclaimed ebulliently and you giggled.

_**"Okay, I'm willing to take the risk!"**_ You exclaimed exalted. _**"Show me the teleporter!"**_

_**"That's the attitude! Now, follow me!"**_ Brian exclaimed.

He started walking to the closet. You looked at him frowning and amused, yet you didn't follow him. What was he doing? This was weird. Brian opened the door of the closet and he looked back to find out that you haven't followed him.

_**"Come on! The teleporter is right here!" **_Brian hurried you and you laughed before walking to him.

When you were close enough, Brian took your hand and he pulled you inside the closet with him. He closed the door of the closet and now everything was dark and you were between lots of clothes; and the space was so tiny that you and Brian were very close to each other, your bodies were literally touching, but it didn't feel uncomfortable. Brian held both of your hands and although you couldn't see anything, you knew he was looking at you.

_**"So? What's next?"**_ You asked with a giggle.

_**"You have to close your eyes and just think that we want to be at downtown. It works that way."**_ Brian whispered and you were so close that you could sense his breath in front of you. It smelled like peppermint.

_**"Okay."**_ You whispered amused.

You closed your eyes as Brian requested and you just waited to see what he was going to do now. This was hilarious; this was senseless and so silly. You couldn't believe that you were actually in a closet pretending it was a teleporter. Brian was very creative sometimes. How would he have planned it all in so little? Nothing was happening and you've been like this for a while. And it was such the silence that you could hear Brian's breathing and the sound of his heart beating. In a moment Brian started caressing your hands with his thumbs and you felt how his face was just few inches away from yours and you started feeling weird, like in the same weird way you felt when you kissed him last night; a weird feeling that probably was a wrong feeling. By a millisecond you felt an urge to nuzzle your nose with his, to brush your lips with his, because his perfume and his peppermint breath were driving you crazy. Fortunately that urge dissipated quickly when you realized what you were about to do. What was wrong with you?

_**"I think we've arrived."**_ Brian whispered very near you and you smelled his peppermint breath again.

_**"Have we?"**_ You asked in whisper, very near him. Damn, why were you feeling so weak? This feeling was absolutely wrong. He was your best friend and you couldn't screw it again.

_**"Yeah, let's see..."**_ Brian said letting out your hands. He finally opened the door of the closet.

_**"I think we're still in the bedroom, maybe we should close the door of the closet and try it again."**_ You said like a fool.

You didn't even know why you said it or why you wanted to be with him like seconds ago. Brian maybe noticed your intentions because he looked at you abruptly, raising his eyebrows and then he smirked mischievously. You were feeling like fool. Would he have noticed you were flirting with him? You didn't even want to flirt with him; those words just came out from your mouth.

_**"I really think we've arrived."**_ Brian said chuckling softly, and then he took your hand and made you walk out the closet. _**"Look! Cannot you see all the shops and bars? Look, there's the Biggby Coffee Shop, the **__**Barnes & Noble bookseller**__**, the Kilwins Ice Cream Parlor, the Ann Arbor Art Center, the Michigan Theatre, the Logan restaurant, The Ark club, the Zingerman's Delicatessen, the Kerrytown Market & Shops. Cannot you see it?"**_ Brian asked amused while looking at you and walking you through the bedroom, pointing you random spots.

_**"Actually, yes! I think I can see it all! Today Ann Arbor's downtown is looking nice."**_ You said smiling cheery. This was almost like what Brian did last night, when he pretended he was taking you to a restaurant. _**"Are we going to a specific place?"**_ You asked with a smile, intrigued.

_**"Oh yeah! We're going to the Briarwood Mall. I'll accompany you to go shopping, buy some clothes, shoes, bags. I know you like going shopping and I've got a credit card to buy all the things you want."**_ Brian said smiling joyfully and you looked at him sweetly with a soft grin.

_**"Are you sure? I must warn you that women are hysterical while shopping. We try on all the clothes of a store and we're never satisfied. It could take like hours until I find something I like!"**_ You exclaimed in an exaggerated way.

_**"That's not a problem. I'd love to be that guy who gives you an opinion about an outfit. Whatever it makes you happy will make me happy and that's enough for me." **_Brian said smiling while looking at the door of the bedroom, walking to there.

_**"You need to stop being so sweet, Brian."**_ You said giggling and Brian turned his face to look at you amused.

_**"I can start being a nasty person if you want." **_He said raising an eyebrow, looking at you mischievously.

_**"No, please, don't!"**_ You exclaimed alarmed in a jokingly way. _**"Never change, Bri."**_ You said smiling before kissing his cheek. Brian grinned brightly as he looked into your eyes.

_**"I will try."**_ He said smiling and then he raised his eyebrows as if he was excited. _**"Now, ready to enter the mall?" **_

_**"Yes, ready!"**_ You bounced excited while laughing.

Brian finally opened the door and, still holding one of your hands, he walked you to the corridor. He started walking to the living room and when you saw what he has done, you dropped your jaw and raised your eyebrows in surprise and amazement. You couldn't believe that Brian has done it all; he surely woke up very early in the morning to prepare this all. You squeezed his hand softly because of your astonishment and Brian laughed softly. He took a lot of your clothes, shoes and bags and placed them all in different places; some of them were on hangers hung on the curtain rods, some of them were hung with clothespins in a rope that he tensed; he placed different piles of books in different places to exhibit the shoes; and he placed the desk in the center to exhibit the bags. He also took off the curtains of the windows and placed them on another rope, apparently to generate the fitting room. He also moved the couch and the armchair; the couch was right in front of the apparently fitting room and the armchair was surely inside the fitting room. There was also background music. That was in the living room area; but then you glanced at the dining room and you noticed there was a tablecloth, dishes, glasses and cutlery; yet there was no food and no drinks. Oh jeez! This was too much. This was completely cute, all the time Brian took to prepare everything, to have this idea to make you feel good in some way. The sweetest thing was to think that maybe he always wanted to do something like this with you, buy you things and do all of those things that sometimes boys do for girls; but he couldn't because of the money; so he managed to do it anyway. And this was much more valuable. You were simply thrilled. You looked at Brian with the fondest smile and bright eyes, but he was looking around. When he noticed you were looking at him, he looked down to look into your eyes and he smiled at you.

_**"I've never been here before. This place is awesome."**_ You said still thinking how cute Brian was.

_**"Yeah, it's not H&M, Zara, Fred Segal or Urban Outfitters. But... This is a new shop and we're the first customers."**_ Brian said jokingly.

_**"That sounds pretty exciting."**_ You said with an enthusiastic smile.

_**"I think it is."**_ Brian said chuckling. _**"What do you think if we start checking out the clothes over there? I've already seen a great dress that could fit on you."**_

_**"Really? Show me!" **_You exclaimed excited.

So Brian and you started seeing all the clothes, pretending to be really in a shop searching for new clothes to buy. It came a point that you really believed it, Brian made you feel in a way as if you were actually in a shop. You argued a few times about what outfit you should try on. Brian tried to convince you to try on red tight jeans with a white blouse and a black london fog coat, with black pumps. You, instead, were convinced that you should try on a three-quarter-sleeve printed cutout tunic with black leggings pants, with black tall dress boots.

_**"Alright, alright!"**_ Brian exclaimed frowning after arguing. _**"Let's do something... First try on the clothes you chose, and then try on the outfit I suggested."**_

_**"Okay. You'll see that the outfit I chose is better than yours."**_ You said looking at him.

_**"We'll see..."**_ Brian said defiant, raising an eyebrow. _**"Now get in there and show me how the outfit you chose looks on you."**_

You walked right to where the apparently fitting room was and you closed the curtains. There you could see the armchair and the coffee table to place your clothes, and there was also the mirror of the bathroom, so you'd be able to take a look of yourself. You smiled when you saw all of this. Brian really thought about everything. You took off your clothes and put on the ones that you've chosen. After it, you took a look in the mirror. You didn't look bad, but there was something that didn't convince you. After a while, you walked out the fitting room and Brian was waiting for you, sitting on the couch. Brian looked at you from head to toe while nodding.

_**"So?"**_ You asked, going round so Brian could see how it looked on you.

_**"Of course the clothes fit on you and you look beautiful. But the combination is not right. There's something... Something that is not right."**_ Brian commented.

Then Brian stood up and you looked at him frowning when he started walking. He walked right where the tops were and he observed them for a while. Was he really trying to choose another top for you? Well, you almost never went shopping with a guy; but whenever you did it with Ian, he just told you that you looked great and he never gave you another opinion and he never seemed to be concerned to make you look flawless instead great. So you really liked this that Brian was doing. After a while, Brian walked towards you again with a gray dolman-sleeve cowl-neck tunic sweater; and he handed it to you. You looked at him and you grabbed it.

_**"Try it on."**_ Brian requested and you nodded.

You walked into the fitting room again and you took off the other tunic and put on the one that Brian chose. You looked in the mirror and it actually looked better. But still, there was something you didn't like. It was boring, you were only wearing black and gray clothes and you didn't like it. You walked out the fitting room and Brian was sitting on the couch again. Now he looked at you from head to toe with a smile.

_**"It looks much better now."**_ Brian commented.

_**"Yes, but I look like a granny. I mean, this is so boring! I need more colorful clothes!"**_ You complained.

_**"Well, for that... I have the perfect solution!"**_ Brian exclaimed.

He stood up again and walked right to where the bags were. He looked at them all and then he came back with a floral printed satchel and red boho earrings. You looked at him amused because of the way he seemed to be really interested in making you feel satisfied. Brian handed you those things and you tried them on before looking in the mirror again. You, indeed, smiled satisfied. Actually that was a very good outfit. Of course they were your clothes, but you never thought about this combination and it was good to have a man's point of view.

_**"I think now you look splendid."**_ Brian commented and you turned to look at him smiling.

_**"Actually I like this."**_ You said in all honesty and Brian smirked proudly.

_**"You see... That's a perfect casual outfit. But... If you try on the one I chose..."**_ Brian started saying again and you sighed pretending to be annoyed because of the way he was being so insistent; but actually you were amused.

_**"I don't like the one you chose!"**_ You exclaimed frowning.

_**"Wait to see! The one I chose is perfect! It's more formal and elegant. Just try it on!"**_ Brian insisted in a persuasive way. _**"Instead splendid, you'll look gorgeous. Promise." **_

_**"Okay, but if I look like a boring granny trying to look intellectual but only gets to look awkward, I'll punch you."**_ You warned with an amused giggle.

_**"Oh, so rude!"**_ Brian exclaimed while laughing.

You laughed and then you walked into the fitting room again. You took off all of your clothes and you tried on the outfit that Brian has chosen. You first tried to put on the red tight jeans but you were having difficulty buttoning them. That wasn't possible. Those jeans fitted perfectly on you; then why would you have difficulty? You looked in the mirror again and you noticed that you gained weight. Then you took a closer look; you were indeed fatter. No, this couldn't happen. You knew you should have kept your diet, but no; you broke it all the weekend and this morning with that breakfast, and you didn't even trained on Friday and Saturday. This wasn't good, you couldn't gain more weight, you needed to keep your toned and fit body, and you didn't want to be fat again. You needed to do something about; you needed to keep the diet and you needed to take out all the food you've been eating lately. But for now, you finished buttoning the jeans and you put on the white blouse and the black london fog coat. Yes, the outfit looked really elegant and it was a pretty amazing combination, better than the one you chose; but now you couldn't stop noticing your fat. This was depressing. You walked out the fitting room with a serious face because of your concern and Brian looked up at you and stood up.

_**"You look flawless! Gorgeous!" **_Brian exclaimed with a bright smile as he was looking at you from head to toe.

_**"Yeah, it's better than the one I chose."**_ You replied with a faint smile. Brian noticed that something weird was going with you, because he frowned slightly.

_**"Are you upset because for the first time in my life I've won you?"**_ He asked suspiciously and you chuckled softly and a bit cheerless.

_**"No, not at all, silly!"**_ You exclaimed, still with the faint smile.

_**"Then what is it? You don't seem to be so happy. Is it I said something that annoyed you? Or maybe because you don't like that outfit? I can look for another outfit if you want..."**_ Brian said while walking to where the clothes were.

You looked at him for a while. It wasn't fair to make Brian feel bad after all he was doing. Even if you were down because you noticed you were fatter, you needed to spend a good time with him; after all, Brian made a big effort to prepare all of this only for you, to make you feel cheery.

_**"No, Brian, stop! I really love this outfit."**_ You said and Brian turned to look at you confused. _**"You didn't say anything that annoyed me; on the contrary, you've been doing nothing but treat me like the best woman in the world. I really love all you are doing and I'm glad I got to spend more time with you."**_ You said smiling kindly at him and he smiled back. You walked closer to him and held one of his hands as he looked down at your holding hands with a cute grin. _**"Thank you for that and thank you for doing this for me. I am happy, I really am."**_ You assured looking into his eyes. He finally stopped looking at your hands holding to look into your eyes with his bright green eyes.

_**"I hope you're telling the truth, because that's what I want, to make you feel happy." **_He said smiling sweetly and you felt thrilled. Lately you've been very sensitive, as if you were in your period. Brian was just very charming and his words were very sweet, always.

_**"I am. And I wish I could make you happy as well."**_ You whispered, still feeling thrilled, and then you stood on tiptoe to kiss his cheek. When you looked at him again, he was looking straight in your eye with that particular twinkle in his eyes. His gaze was really intense.

_**"Trust me, you are."**_ Brian replied with the sweetest smile.

_**"Why, though? I think I don't do so much for you. Then, why?"**_ You asked curiously, looking fixedly into his eyes.

_**"You really think you aren't doing much for me? What are you, insane? Sunny, please! You were my biggest support when that thing of my dad started happening; you were my support in everything, in the economic part and in the emotional part. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't be here."**_ Brian said almost in a whisper, looking deeply into your eyes while you were still holding hands. Again, you started feeling very thrilled and sensitive. _**"And you do things for me that you cannot even imagine. You do a lot for me. So don't you dare to wonder such a thing, Sunny."**_

_**"I'm so sorry, it's just... Brian, look at all you've done! And all you always do! You do things that nobody else does. And you never expect anything in return and I... I just feel that I should do more."**_ You said still looking fixedly into his eyes. Brian frowned slightly and placed both of his hands on your cheeks to make you look deeply into his eyes.

_**"Listen, Sunny. You have no idea all you do for me, not even a damn idea. Everything I've done and do, it's nothing compared to all you do for me. You won't understand it, because what you do for me is not something tangible; it's something that involves other things like feelings. You make me happy for the way you make me feel. Believe it, Sunny."**_ Brian whispered in front of you, looking intensely into your eyes, still placing his hands on your cheeks.

His gaze was effectively piercing and you could see honesty in his eyes. For some reason you couldn't stop looking into his enthralling eyes and you couldn't say anything. He just left you speechless. And, over again, you felt that weird feeling in your stomach, that pain in the chest, that sensation as though your legs were like jelly; that eagerness to kiss him. No, you needed to look away; you couldn't feel like this about your best friend. You couldn't screw it again because you were feeling confused and lonely. No. You looked down to break the eye contact and Brian finally let out your cheeks. Yet, you didn't talk.

_**"I propose you something."**_ Brian said and when you looked up at him, he was grinning. _**"I'll buy you the two outfits, so you'll wear both of them. What do you say?" **_He asked and you smiled widely.

_**"Would you really do that?"**_ You asked, smiling tenderly at him.

_**"Of course I would. Come on, let's take them."**_ Brian hurried you and you chuckled.

After this, you walked to the fitting room and took off the outfit that Brian chose for you and you put on the clothes you were wearing before. When you walked out, Brian took the outfit he chose for you and also the outfit you chose with the sweater he made you try on. He placed the clothes on two shopping bags and he pretended he was paying for your clothes on a sort of cash register he has made. Then he looked at you with a bright smile, handing you the shopping bags and you smiled at him affectionately.

_**"Thank you a lot, Bri."**_ You said before kissing his cheek.

_**"You're very welcome." **_He answered. _**"So, what do you think if we go for a walk and find a nice restaurant to have lunch?"**_

_**"Oh, no, wait! We first need to get some clothes for you!"**_ You exclaimed joyfully and he looked at you frowning slightly, confused but amused.

_**"Clothes for me? That wasn't on my plans." **_Brian commented.

_**"Oh well, but that is on my plans."**_ You said with a mischievous smile.

_**"Hey! We're doing my plans, not yours! This is not fair! You always end up having plans!"**_ He said giggling once you held his hand to force him to walk to the bedroom.

_**"Sit over there! I'll choose the perfect outfit for you!" **_You exclaimed excited, forcing Brian to sit on his bed.

_**"Alright, let's see what you can do."**_ He said laughing softly.

You opened his closet and you started seeing all the clothes he had. A feeling of distress took over your body when you noticed that Brian didn't have so many clothes, less after someone broke into this room and ripped most of his clothes. He only had two jeans besides the one he was wearing; he had sweatpants, two shorts, and a dress pants. He had two t-shirts, two polo shirts, only one shirt, and a UM t-shirt. He also had one sweater besides the one he was wearing, two hoodies, only one casual jacket and only one peacoat. That was all he had. You remained looking at his almost empty closet, feeling really bad. This was unfair; it was unfair that you had a closet full of clothes, a lot of clothes and Brian didn't have anything; it was unfair that someone ripped his few clothes; it was unfair that he couldn't find a job and that his dad was really sick; it was unfair that he didn't have money for anything at all, not even for a stupid ice cream. This was very unfair. Apparently Brian noticed you were feeling bad, because he stood up and closed the closet.

_**"Maybe we could skip this and just go for lunch. What do you think?"**_ Brian asked next to you, looking down.

_**"No... I think we should go outside, to another shop... And buy you new clothes. Yes, let's go!" **_You exclaimed trying to feel cheerful again, but Brian kept looking down, serious.

_**"No, no I really don't want."**_ Brian refused quickly.

_**"Come on, Brian! Just let's go, it'll be fun!"**_ You exclaimed enthusiastically, but Brian walked away from you and sat on the bed, avoiding your gaze, still serious.

_**"No, Sunny."**_ He refused strongly.

_**"Please, Brian, I want to buy you new clothes."**_ You insisted.

_**"Well, there in that closet you have the options." **_Brian said still avoiding your gaze.

_**"No, I mean, other clothes. I want to buy you other clothes that we'll find in another shop. Come on, please, let's go." **_You insisted again.

_**"Sunny, I beg you, don't do this to me." **_Brian whispered softly, frowning and looking down.

_**"Why not, Brian? You just bought me clothes; I want to do the same."**_ You said sadly.

_**"It was a stupid fake shop in our living room and those were your clothes! I paid with a fake credit card and everything was fake! Because I don't have the damn chance to do it for real! I can't even buy you a coffee because I can't! And I want, I wish I could do it all for you, but I can't! And it makes me feel bad and embarrassed." **_Brian said distressed, with choked voice, finally looking at you. You felt even sadder. _**"This all is stupid. All I've done is stupid and fake. I'm just a damn loser who can't give you anything as I'd wish."**_ He whispered afflicted, looking down again, pursing his lips and still frowning.

You looked at him very sorrowful and you walked slowly to him. You sat next to him on his bed. Brian didn't move and he didn't look at you; he just remained looking down, pursing his lips and frowning. You moved closer to him and you placed a hand on the nape of his neck and you started caressing his hair very smoothly. Then you forced him to rest his head on your lap as you wrapped your arms around him, while still caressing his hair with one hand. Brian remained looking away, with his gaze absent, but he wasn't frowning anymore, his eyebrows were now downward and he had a sad facial expression.

_**"Brian, even if what you did was fake; I appreciate it more than if you'd have taken me to a real shop to buy real new clothes. Do you know why?"**_ You asked in a whisper, but Brian didn't answer. _**"Because you took the time to think about this, you took the time to prepare everything and you took the time to make me feel that everything was real. Because you made it real for me. That fake credit card and shop were real for me, that dinner last night in the fake restaurant was real for me; the song we sang and danced was real for me; the spa session was real for me; even the teleporter was real for me."**_ You said chuckling softly and you noticed a smile on his face, even if it was a sad and faint smile. _**"The nice gesture you had to try to put make-up on me, to paint my nails, to brush my hair, to bring me breakfast in bed, to be interested in giving me your opinion about the outfits; those are things that guys almost never do; but you did it. And I'm not fool not to realize that you've done this to make me feel I'm special to someone. I was and I am special to you. And let me tell you something, Brian..."**_ You said and you placed your hands on his cheeks, to make him raise his head and look into your eyes. _**"You're not a loser. For all you've ever done, either materially or emotionally, you're special to me. And that is also real." **_You said looking deeply into his green eyes, now teary eyes.

_**"Thank you, Sunny."**_ Brian answered with cracked voice, but not shedding tears. You guessed he was thrilled and overjoyed. _**"I'm really happy to know I'm special to you, just as you are to me."**_

_**"Of course you are, Brian. Since the time we became friends I always considered you special to me. Do you forget that you were the one who brought me again to life? Just as you said that if it weren't for me, you wouldn't be here; well, if it weren't for you, I wouldn't be here."**_ You said smiling fondly before leaning to kiss his forehead.

_**"I'd like to think we'll always be for each other."**_ Brian whispered looking down.

_**"I promise you that we will. **__**I'll never walk away from you, Brian**__**."**_ You whispered, caressing his hair.

You remained in silence for a long time, but not in an uncomfortable silence. It was more like enjoying the silence and feeling close to each other. Brian rested his head on your lap again with his gaze lost as you were caressing his soft hair. It was curious the way a huge guy like Brian could feel so vulnerable and little when he was like this. Deep down, he was like you. He was going through shit just as you had to last year. He was strong but sometimes he just broke, just like you. He was a cheerful person but sometimes he felt sad, just like you. And just as you could make it through, you were sure he was going to make it through; just as he helped you, you were going to help him. And of course, you were never going to walk away from him; that would be stupid. After a long time, Brian finally sat and stood up as you looked at him curiously.

_**"There's something I want to show you."**_ Brian said firmly, looking at you. _**"I haven't planned doing this before lunch, but I think it'd be nice to do it right now." **_

_**"What is it?"**_ You asked intrigued.

_**"We're gonna watch the stars. I know you love that, so I wanted to do it with you."**_ Brian said with a cute smile.

_**"But Brian..."**_ You said laughing, looking at him amused. _**"It's not night yet and it's cloudy. I hardly think we can do it right now."**_

_**"Who said that we cannot turn this cloudy day into a starry night, right here, right now?"**_ Brian asked mysteriously and you looked at him amused. _**"Do you believe in magic?"**_

_**"Yes, I do."**_ You answered with a chuckle.

_**"Alright, then that's all you need. We can make it real."**_ Brian said with a bright smirk. _**"Now, I want you to lie down right there, on the floor." **_Brian requested but you remained there, looking at him as though he were insane. _**"Come on! Just trust me and do it." **_

_**"This is super weird..."**_ You said while chuckling. _**"But alright, I'll do it."**_ You said walking right to where Brian pointed you.

When you lay down on the floor, Brian walked to the door. You looked at him really intrigued. What would be on his mind this time? His plans were lately surprising you, so you didn't know what to expect. When he reached the door he looked at you and smiled widely and you giggled softly. Then he turned off the lights. At first you couldn't understand why he had done it, but then, when you looked round, you noticed why he turned off the lights. The whole room, the ceiling, the floor and the walls, were full of shiny stars. He surely has done it with a glow in the dark paint you bought long time ago, because you haven't noticed it when it was clear and luminous. You stared at it all really amazed, really mesmerized by the beauty of this, very shocked and stunned. This was truly beautiful. You actually thought you were in the space in between the stars. This was extraordinary. Then you noticed how Brian lay down on the floor right next to you. When he did this, you quickly held his hand and he intertwined his fingers with yours.

_**"Brian this is... This is the most wonderful thing I've ever seen."**_ You whispered with choked voice because of the thrill and joy. _**"I feel as if I were... As if I was actually surrounded by the stars. This, oh my god, this is marvelous."**_

_**"You're in fact surrounded by the stars."**_ Brian whispered warmly. _**"Look above you, can you see that? The stars spell your name. See? Even the stars draw up your name. This means nothing but how special you are."**_ Brian whispered very sweetly and you started shedding some tears of joy.

_**"This is perfect, Brian." **_You said moved.

Brian knew how much you loved the stars and how much you loved staring them. And he turned your bedroom into a really special place to you. He even wrote your name with the stars. How the hell has he had this idea? This was very special to you. This was one of the nicest things that someone has ever done for you. Brian made it real. So yes, this was perfect and this was very important to you because it certainly made you feel special. Then you saw the little bottle of paint that Brian used to paint all of that because it was glowing. You let out Brian's hand and you stood up to grab it.

_**"Where are you going, Sunny?"**_ Brian asked confused.

_**"Give me a minute. This isn't perfect yet."**_ You replied.

You grabbed the bottle of paint and, in the dark, you found the chair. You moved it right to where your name was written and you stood up on the chair. Like this, next to your name, you started writing Brian's name. Now instead 'Sunny' it spelled 'Sunny and Brian'. Once you finished, you left the bottle of paint and you lay down on the floor next to Brian again. You held his hand again and you intertwined your fingers with his. He was very silent and you knew he was staring what you've recently done.

_**"Now it's perfect."**_ You whispered fondly in Brian's ear.

Brian didn't answer anything, for some reason it seemed he couldn't talk. But he turned his face to stay face to face with you. You couldn't really look at him in the dark, but you could sense every feature of his face; you could sense his eyes looking straight in your eye, in that intense and piercing way. He rested his forehead with yours and you closed your eyes. You started to nuzzle his nose very softly. Now that it was dark, your senses were keener. You could smell his perfume, you could touch his skin with your forehead, you could touch his hand while you were caressing his hand with your thumbs, and you could hear and feel his breathing against you. This was something that maybe you never experienced before, just as the feelings you were feeling. These feelings about your best friend that was confusing. It was just that Brian has done so many things for you that nobody has done in a while, if not ever. And Brian truly made you feel special and loved. He showed you that he really cared about you and he only cared about making you feel happy. Was Brian even human? That person you had in front was someone really important to you, he was someone really special, he was someone who always brought you joy. Why were you feeling weird about him? Then Brian tangled his fingers in your hair and started caressing it very smoothly as you kept nuzzling his nose and you kept holding his hand with your eyes closed. Then your lips touched very slightly his lips. Your heart was beating in an indescribable fast way and your body was slightly trembling. You both remained like this, without moving, without doing anything at all; just touching very slightly each other's lips with eyes closed, resting foreheads and nuzzling noses. Then your phone buzzed, saving you from an awkward situation. Oh no, damn. You couldn't believe that you were about to kiss him. You were truly about to kiss him and right when you were going to move closer to do it, your phone buzzed. Why the hell were you about to kiss him? Geez, you needed to stop feeling like this around Brian. He would surely think that you were trying to use him or something and you didn't want him to misinterpret you. When Brian heard your phone buzzing, he turned his face to stare the ceiling. You didn't even look at the text message you received, you just only remained thinking that you were about to kiss your best friend; and not because you were feeling lonely but because you felt like doing it. And that was scary and disturbing. You needed to do something about this weird feeling for Brian.

* * *

I was already in my Costume Design course. Julia texted me she wasn't going to come, because she was delayed with her assignment of Directing course. So I was sitting alone, waiting for Freckles to arrive. Surely she was going to arrive really late as always. I wanted to see Freckles, I wanted to talk to her and ask her why she left yesterday without even greeting me. I was still a bit upset about it. The professor already arrived and she was being the same pain in the ass as always. Damn, that woman surely wasn't satisfied at nights, why would she be so grumpy and strict? Freckles wasn't going to be allowed to presence the class if she didn't come right now. I looked at the direction where the door was, but there was no indication she was coming soon. I sighed and looked down, trying to pay attention to what the professor was saying.

_**"So, has everybody understood what you have to do?"**_ The professor asked to the class.

Oh shit, I had no idea what we had to do. And I wouldn't ask it or the professor was going to kick my ass for not paying attention to what she was explaining. No one asked anything at all, of course nobody dared or what the professor explained was pretty clear. I didn't know why but everybody started to stand up to find partners, apparently. I remained sitting there, seeing how everybody was finding someone, I looked at the door again to see if Freckles was about to enter the classroom, but she wasn't.

_**"Do you already have a partner?"**_ I heard a voice asking.

I stopped looking at the door and I looked at the person who asked me that. It was a girl; a really pretty girl with blue eyes and brown wavy hair that contrasted with her olive skin tone. Then I stared her more intently and I noticed she had long eyelashes, a nice nose and a defined voluptuous lips. Then, surreptitiously, I looked at her body: she had big boobs, she was thin and she had really prominent hips. She had a sexy body. She was wearing blue tight jeans and an orange sweater, simple but cool. I've never seen that girl before. I looked into her eyes again and I smiled faintly.

_**"Umm..."**_ I babbled looking at the door to see if Freckles was going to arrive. Obviously I had to find a partner and I wanted Freckles to be my partner.

_**"Oh! Are you waiting for someone?"**_ The girl asked frowning slightly. She had a sweet voice.

_**"Uh, yeah."**_ I replied looking at the door again and sighing. Then I looked at the girl again. _**"But I guess the person won't arrive. So, I'm Darren." **_I said stretching my hand. The girl smiled and stretched her hand with mine. Her smile was nice. She seemed to be nice.

_**"My name's February. Like the month, but a person."**_ She greeted joyfully and I chuckled.

_**"Nice to meet you, February. It's good to know you're a person and not a month, otherwise I'd be really confused and I'd be questioning my existence in this world."**_ I joked and she laughed.

_**"You're funny. You know, when I introduce myself like this, people usually look me as if I were a sort of weirdo."**_ February said shrugging with a cheery smile.

_**"Oh, don't worry about being a weirdo. I'm a weirdo myself, therefore I like weirdoes cause normal people tend to be boring."**_ I replied shrugging with a smile.

_**"Well, weirdo guy, do you mind if I sit here and if I'm your partner?"**_ February asked with the same cheery smile. Well, she seemed to be cheery, so maybe I was going to have a good time and not a boring time as I thought it'd be.

_**"I thought we already agreed to be partners. I guess that most of the time my silly mind makes up things that still didn't happen." **_I said in a cheerful way.

_**"That's interesting. I guess that being with you would be like facing the unknown and unexpected. That's fun."**_ She said giggling softly as she sat on a chair next to me. _**"You seem to be a nice guy."**_

_**"Well, February, what can I say? My motto is… be nice to people because nobody likes an asshole."**_ I said shrugging with amused smile as she smiled brightly. _**"What about you? What's your motto?"**_

_**"Umm, well... I'd say that it's you can get all the money in the world, but there's one thing you can't buy, a dinosaur!"**_ February exclaimed loudly and excitedly as I laughed.

_**"Hey, that's a good one, Homer Simpson."**_ I said still laughing.

_**"Oh my god! Are you also a Simpsons fan?"**_ She asked amazed, looking at me very excited.

_**"I am! Oh, look at me! I'm making people happy! I'm the Magical Man from Happy-Land, in a gumdrop house on Lollipop Lane!"**_ I said imitating Homer's voice.

_**"Save me, Jeebus!"**_ February exclaimed as a Homer and I laughed out loud.

_**"Here's to alcohol, the cause of, and solution to, all life's problems."**_ I said still impersonating Homer Simpson.

_**"Homer no function beer well without."**_ February said also impersonating Homer Simpson while laughing.

_**"Oh my wizard god! I like you, girl."**_ I said still giggling.

_**"Less talk and more work."**_ The professor demanded strictly, looking right at us from her desk.

_**"Ups! Guess we're gonna be in troubles." **_February whispered with a giggle.

_**"Ah! Screw that grumpy professor! She's like a pain in the ass, man."**_ I exclaimed frowning.

_**"The professor is my aunt."**_ February said looking at me very serious.

I looked at her astonished, raising my eyebrows. She gotta be kidding; but no, she was very serious, looking fixedly at me; so I started feeling really uncomfortable and embarrassed. Me and my big mouth. I started stammering like the biggest idiot.

_**"I... Well... Not that I really meant that... I... I was just kidding..."**_ I babbled like a jerk. She was still looking at me serious, raising an eyebrow. _**"I'm sorry, I tend to say more things than I should and... well...I'm a hip-shooter."**_ I babbled again and she was still serious. But after a few seconds she burst out laughing.

_**"I was kidding!"**_ She exclaimed amused still laughing. I looked at her amazed, raising my eyebrows as I started laughing along with her. _**"You should've seen your face! You were terrified!" **_

_**"Well, yeah, it was awkward! Hey! I can't believe you mocked me! I'm usually the one who mocks and jokes around."**_ I said still laughing amused.

_**"Well, then I guess we're gonna get along and learn from each other."**_ She said with a bright and jubilant smile.

_**"I guess you're right about that."**_ I said nodding in agreement._** "So... There's this thing... I really didn't listen to a damn shit of what the professor asked so... Would you mind to explain me what the fuck we have to do? Oh yeah, by the way, I curse. I curse like a lot."**_ I said smiling amusingly.

_**"Oh yeah, don't worry about cursing in front of me. I'm used at it."**_ February said with a nice smile. _**"So, we have to do this project..."**_

So February started explaining me what we had to do. She seemed very excited by what we had to do; it seemed she really liked her career. I asked her if she was into the Theatre & Drama program as me or if she was into the Interarts Performance program as Freckles. She was into the Interarts Performance program as Freckles, but she was a Sophomore like me and not a Freshman. So, as me, she didn't take this course last year. She seemed to be a really nice and funny girl and I liked her. It was always really good to know more people and she just loved to talk just as much as me; that was weird. She wouldn't stop joking while explaining me what we had to do and it was really hard to pay attention to all she was saying, because I often got lost into her blue eyes or into her mouth talking non-stop. As she was talking, I started finding out that we had a lot of things in common, which was really good. After all, it wasn't a bad idea to be the partner of a new person, a complete stranger. And we were talking too much and I was so entertained that I actually stopped looking at the door to check if Freckles was coming or not.

_**"Alright, the class has finished. If you didn't finish your projects yet, you have until next Monday to finish it. Now you can go."**_ The professor said in a very strict way.

_**"Cool."**_ I said and then I looked at February. _**"What do you say if we do it now? I invite you for lunch."**_ I asked with a polite smile.

_**"I'd really love it! But I have to attend another course." **_She replied apologetically.

_**"Oh, it's fine, I get it."**_ I said nodding, still grinning. _**"What course do you have to attend?"**_ I asked curiously.

_**"Oh, it's called The Art of the Essay."**_ She answered smirking.

_**"The Art of the Essay? That doesn't sound like a course you take in the Interarts Performance program."**_ I said kind of confused.

_**"That's because it isn't. It's a course of English Language and Literature."**_ She answered.

_**"What? I don't get it, you said you were into the Interarts Performance program, then why would you mention this thing of English Language and Literature?"**_ I asked even more confused and she chuckled softly.

_**"That's because I'm into both programs. I love English Language and Literature as much as I love Interarts Performance. So, I decided to study both of them." **_She answered politely.

_**"Whoa! You're super smart and brave to be studying two very different things."**_ I exclaimed really impressed and she chuckled again.

_**"I guess I'm kind of a nerd."**_ She said frowning with an amused smile.

_**"Yeah, I like that. Hey, I have a friend who is studying English Language and Literature, maybe you know him..."**_ I said frowning and thoughtful. _**"His name's Brian." **_

_**"Brian Clerk?"**_ February asked amazed and surprised.

_**"Yeah, that one."**_ I replied frowning, now also surprised because she really seemed to know him.

_**"Of course I know him! He's the smartest of all the courses we share. He's like the favorite student of all the professors." **_February replied smiling cheerfully as I was thinking how tiny the world was. _**"How do you know him? I mean, you guys are studying two very different things." **_

_**"Oh, I know him since high school."**_ I answered still looking at her surprised. _**"This is super weird."**_

_**"Yes, it really is."**_ She said smiling and frowning. _**"Brian and I are like friends, he helped me a lot with the assignments and we used to study together... Well, we were. This year he's like different."**_ She said frowning and thoughtful.

_**"Yeah, I guess it's because he has been having family troubles."**_ I replied shrugging.

_**"Is he?"**_ February asked kind of concerned and curious and I felt a bit uncomfortable. Maybe I shouldn't have mentioned it.

_**"Yeah, but well, I guess this is something private."**_ I answered, making up for my mistake.

_**"Yes, poor Brian. I hope he gets well soon."**_ She said still frowning and thoughtful, still looking away. _**"Maybe sometime we all could hang out together."**_ She proposed cheerfully.

_**"Yes, that would be cool."**_ I agreed smiling in a cheery way. _**"So... How are we gonna make this project? Can I get your phone number so we can talk and agree on a meeting day to do this shit?"**_

_**"Of course, yes!"**_ She said as I nodded and pulled out my phone. I gave her my phone so she could write her number and then I gave her my phone number._** "So, Darren, it was really nice to be your partner."**_

_**"Yeah, same. It was really nice to have met a weirdo like me."**_ I said jokingly while giggling. _**"So, I guess I'll see you around, February. And well, I hope you can enjoy your course of essay and I forgot the name already."**_ I said and she laughed.

_**"The Art of the Essay. Thank you, Darren, that's really nice from you. And I hope you can have a pretty good day." **_She said smiling friendly. _**"See you soon!"**_ She said kissing my cheek and quickly standing up with her stuff to leave the classroom.

I looked at her disappearing from the classroom and I just stayed there for a little more, just thinking about how weird this was and about what the chances of having so many coincidences were. Not only February and me had many things in common, but she was in the Interarts Performance program just as Freckles, even if she was a Sophomore; and she was also kind of friends with Brian; like... I met her, and she also knew Brian and she was in the same program than Freckles; like it seemed to be connected somehow; this was pretty weird, the world was pretty weird. And I liked this girl. She was really pretty and very nice and funny. Maybe I was a little interested in getting to know her more; maybe I could hang out with her; that would be cool. Still, it was going to be awkward and weird if I started something more with her, considering she was like friends with Brian and Brian was friends with Freckles and Freckles and I... Well, we were friends too but we had something in the past. So, maybe the best would be meeting a girl who didn't have anything to do with Brian, Freckles or whatever that involved us or our past; just meeting someone completely new. Anyway, I stood up, grabbed my backpack and walked outside the classroom. While walking through the hallway, I checked if Freckles was around but I couldn't see her. I left the building and it was still raining, and fortunately I had an umbrella. I started walking under my umbrella and I decided to text Freckles.

To Freckles: **Hey there, Freckles. I haven't seen you at Costume Design. Is everything okay? I'd like to see you. Text me back when you can.**

I took the bus and came back to my apartment. Joey was already there and we decided to take a break of our studying and just play a racing video game of Mario Kart. I was Luigi and Joey was Bowser. Joey was winning me and I hated that, because I was the one who always won; surely he had been practicing with someone, even if he wouldn't admit it.

_**"Dammit, Joey! Screw you!"**_ I exclaimed annoyed when I lost the race.

_**"Ha! Take that, Criss! In your face! In your fucking face! Who's the best? Who is it? Joey fucking Richter!"**_ Joey exclaimed victoriously.

_**"You cheated!"**_ I exclaimed still annoyed.

_**"I cheated my ass! You're a loser! Help me to spell it out... l... o... s... e... r... Loser!"**_ Joey exclaimed still victoriously.

_**"Fuck you!"**_ I exclaimed irritated, eating a cookie.

Joey started dancing his typical dance of victory, still mocking me and laughing at my face. I was looking at him thinking what I could throw at him until I got a text message. Maybe it was from Freckles. About time! It's been more than four hours. But no, it wasn't from Freckles.

From February: **Hey Darren! Sorry to bother you, but about the talk we had today... Brian didn't come to the course and that's weird; so I'm curious about something you maybe know... The problems Brian currently has, involve that girl he's in love with since years? **

What the actual fuck, man? Brian? In love with a girl since years? What? Could that girl be Freckles? Could my theory of Freckles and Brian being fuck buddies be true? What if what W told me was true? Fuck this all, I needed to know.


End file.
